#ive talked about it here and there before but it's about a college kid who is a ritual sacrifice who comes back from the sacrifice

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[deadtower]

(drags myself in, covered in blood) first chapter of Deadname... edited

[sexilene]

can i please request reader going off to collage and not wanting to go and leave rafe, and then he convinces her that its okay not to go and stay with him? if it's a little confusion im sorry!

ive got ya!! xoxo!!! (sorry about any spelling mistakes, im like so beyond sleepy rn idk whyyy!!!!)

"hey baby? where are the suitcases, packed already?” your boyfriend shouts from the hall, wondering where all your stuff that was once out ready to get packed, is gone from where he last saw it.

“uh- almost,” you call back, watching him walk into your room carefully trying not to spill your sleepy time tea in his hand, staring down at the cup until he places it on your nightstand. "did you put em away?-" he begins, before you cut him off,

“ray?”

“yeah?”

“i need to talk to you about something…it’s nothing bad i promise…” your eyes wide and full of an emotion he can't quite place. he stares down at you sitting on the bed, crossing his arms waiting to hear what you've got to say. “okay, what’s up?”

“weeeell, i'm really proud of myself about getting in but i’m still a little nervous about going away…leaving you…” you ramble, avoiding eye contact with rafe. “got separation anxiety?” he laughs, bending down to be at eye level with you.

“don’t joke right now rafe, m’serious!” you whine, going to hide your face in your hands when rafe grabs your wrists ever so gently to direct your attention back on him. “sorry, sorry baby…continue." your boyfriend whispers, softly rubbing the skin on your wrist back and forth with his thumb.

you take a deep breath to keep the tears at bay “i’ve just been thinking about it a lot and i don’t wanna be half away across the country! and of course i know how important college is-”

rafe interrupts you by shrugging and muttering out an “eh,” as if to dismiss the importance of college,

“but…”

“but what, baby?” his eyes innocently looking up at you,

“what if i didn’t go? like i want to, but i don’t and it's all so stressful and i feel like i’m gonna disappoint everyone if i don’t go…” a tear then streaming down your face faster than you can wipe it away to keep him from seeing you cry over this.

your sweet boyfriend's heart twists with every tear that follows, he lets go of your wrists to hold your hands in his much bigger, warmer ones and shushes your fears, “hey- hey okay…just relax a minute kid, if you don’t want to you don’t have to. i say it all the time, can’t fucking wait to put a big ass diamond on this finger. and you won’t gotta worry about anything, cause i promise i’ll take care of you.” he tells you, a smirk on his face, trying his best to reassure you.

“i know but i don’t want to look stupid by being the girl who got into an amazing school but then chose to marry her first boyfriend and stay here!” you realize it's not the nicest thing to say out loud but it is- or would be the truth.

“what’s stupid bout being my little housewife?” rafe furrows his eyebrows, bringing his lips down to kiss every single one of your fingers. “aight listen, i’m so proud of you for getting in and doing the preparation for it but if you feel like your mind has changed that's not a bad thing. im fuckin’ relieved you wanna stay, and if you wanna still go to school there’s always UNC… you’d be closer.” your boyfriend was always very good at reasoning, especially with you. he could calm you in any situation with a couple of wise words and kisses.

“yeah…” you sigh, and wipe your nose with the back of your hand, letting go of his. and sure it's relieving to know that you could always choose to make that decision later, yet the thought in the back of your mind still present, telling you not to end up as another figure eight stepford wife.

and as quickly as the thought crept back into your mind, rafe was able to make it disappear “look, i love you babydoll and im gonna support you as you support me yeah? whatever you want, i'll get it for you you know that... you belong here, with me.” he stands back up again, hands reaching down to wipe the remaining tear droplets on your cheeks gently, to show you he cares ever so much about you and how much he wants to be soft with you- as if you could break like a china doll. “kay, so no tears. did your makeup so pretty today baby...”

your wet lashes sticking together, doe eyes staring up at him with love and admiration. “you’re my best friend ray. i love you, so much my heart hurts.”

“and you're mine, and i love you more than anything ever- and you can sleep on it you know? don't have to make up your mind right here." he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

ᥫ᭡.

[tibby-art]

tibby you have no idea how much i want you to just straight infodump about kyle (huge monweek fan & i love his whole aesthetic) so im just sitting here waiting for more stuff

GODDD DUDE ive been so fixated on our campaign and its only been three sessions clenches fist. Ill yap under the cut

So the campaign takes place in 2009 in a small town in Illinois called Hollowbrook. Kyle was born & raised there, very normal upbringing, mom dad & little brother living in ur typical cozy cul-de-sac home, he's a pretty outgoing and rebellious kid though. Likes doing stupid shit like going to parties in the woods and breaking his arm doing skating tricks and going to the junkyard and smashing stuff for fun. Plays guitar badly in his garage. Goes to the local comic shop to talk nerd stuff like pokemon and world of warcraft and whatever.

6 months before the campaign takes place, Kyle is out in the woods with his younger brother Liam one night. Growing up, they've both been pretty interested in supernatural stuff and mythological creatures, so it's not uncommon for them to hang out there looking for bigfoot or whatever for fun. However, something goes wrong, something strange/magic happens, Liam goes missing and Kyle is witness to it all. He tells everybody what he saw, but no one believes him.

This sends Kyle on a pretty bad spiral for the next few months. The trauma of your younger brother going missing right before he's about to graduate high school, knowing you saw Something but nobody believes you, continuing to search for the truth while everyone slowly begins to move on. Kyle quickly becomes a lot more reckless and obsessive. He takes a semester off community college because he can't focus on school at all. He dedicates all of his time to one purpose and it's getting his brother back. He spends his days online at deep web forums discussing cryptids and magic, and at night he heads out to the woods to look for clues or creature sightings. He notices the forest is a little strange at night, but besides that, not many leads.

Only very recently does he meet the other three members of the party and discover the Hideaway, a magical portal that connects their world to a mirror dimension full of magic and mythical creatures. Kyle is convinced that this has to be where Liam went, and with a new lead & a team of chucklefucks he can continue to work towards that goal. :J Kyle's playbook is The Expert. He's the only player character who's lived in Hollowbrook his whole life so he knows pretty much everything there is to know about it. His casual interest in cryptids over the years + his recent obsession with it makes him pretty knowledgeable about that stuff as well. He doesn't have any magic abilities of his own (yet, that i know of?) but he wants to help the other three learn more information about the nature of their abilities, hoping that solving their mysteries may bring him closer to learning more about where Liam could have gone.

I'll share art I've done of Liam soon bc there is a Lot :J Towards the end of last session, Kyle revealed to the party that he's looking for his younger brother who went missing, however they haven't had time to discuss this in detail yet, so they haven't seen any photos of him or anything (Kyle keeps a lot of photos on his camera & printed out though lol. Also all of the characters have 100% seen Liam's face without realizing because Kyle has been putting up missing person posters everywhere)

soooo yeah thanks for being interested in my guy teehee i already have like 50+ drawings ive done of him in a month urm

i tag hollowbrook hideaway stuff as hh and there will be more stuff on my main blog where i rb other peoples art of their characters as well

[avonne-writes]

OH IVE BEEN MEANING TO ASK THIS you mentioned that bucky and gale have a few significant fights what are the kinds of things do you think they say to eachother (we love angst give us angst please!!)

Oh boy... I feel like maybe I shouldn't give examples without actually writing the full fights in fleshed-out fics, because a lot of the emotional impact and context is lost this way. But if we don’t forget to consider this point, here are some examples:

In general:

Gale can be much nastier than Bucky. The things he might say during a fight are harsh and cut deep.

Bucky is more likely to be childish in a fight and he's provocative, he tends to push Gale to attack him.

Gale's anger is like an explosion, comes seemingly out of nowhere and is instantly raging. Bucky's anger builds and builds with very obvious signs, and if Gale's in a good mind state, he can intercept it before it gets too bad.

During their fights in their first semester of college:

Bucky: "Alex, perfect straight A fucking Alex. Does he want to fuck you or something?"

Bucky: "Where have you been?" "Out? Oh, okay. That explains everything." (/s) "No, I’m not fucking sulking. Saint Gale can go wherever he wants, whenever he wants, who the fuck cares if I’m worried because he hasn’t even left a text or anything."

Gale: "Am I gonna have to carry it like a mark all my life that I wanted to kill myself last year? Will you ever trust me with my own fucking life again or am I on house arrest until I decide this is not worth it and I actually go through with it?"

Gale: "I said I don't care. Do you think I don't know what your teammates think about me? I’m not blind. It’s a miracle we even made it this far. If you want to end it, let’s get it over with now."

During their fight about having children or not at 30:

Gale: "Did this come up because all your clients and colleagues talk about their wives and kids, but all you have is a boring gay husband?"

Bucky: "You know what, I’m gonna give you your precious space and just sleep in the fucking guest room."

Gale: "I think the real reason why you want to be a dad is because your own father left you. You want to prove that being a shitty father is not in the blood, but it is, it fucking is, goes down from generation to generation, I know because I lived through it, but it's gonna die with me because I will never ever have a child. Not with you, not with anyone else.”

Bucky: "Maybe you would be better off with someone who wants a life as bitter and joyless as you!" (great suggestion by @butdaddyilovehim99)

[fuckin-wilde]

Tw for police brutality, murder

One of my high school friends was murdered by our local cops last week. Ive seen absolutely nobody talking about it, and while im sure Bill would appreciate that, i definitely dont. That being said, im making this post for me and anyone else who has lost sleep over Bill's death, nobody else.

Bill was a uniquely wonderful man. If he'd just met you, he'd stick his hand out and say "Howdy, Bill Factor". He would do things for the fuck of it, or because nobody else would, just to laugh with his friends. He was one of two teenagers i knew who didnt think you had to be mean to be funny. He wore this amazingly tacky christmas suit (blazer and pants) for the holidays, which his sister wore to his funeral yesterday. He was barely 25, disabled, native, queer, and a legally ordained minister. He was the only guy i knew who could be in color guard through high school and then rush a frat in college. Truly if the world is ever going to get better, it takes a whole bunch of people like Bill.

Bill was murdered by two cops with less than 5 years of job experience between the two. Supposedly he was hiding on a strangers balcony before he fired a gun at the officers, but - and i know this is an old ass song - thats complete bullshit. He isnt here to explain what happened, he cant tell us what was going on that night, and i hate that how cops abuse this every time they kill someone.

Isaiah Lewis should have been able to tell his mom why he was doing edibles, get grounded like a normal kid, and graduate high school. Bill Factor should be here to tell his mom what he was doing in some karen's backyard. No parent or grandparent should be at their kids funeral. No one person should be allowed the position of judge, jury, and executioner - especially after only doing his job for a year or two.

If you made it through this long ass post and want to help, put pressure on Edmond PD. Let them know we havent forgotten Isaiah Lewis and we wont forget Bill Factor. Ask the city of Edmond and/or the state of Oklahoma for an external investigation this time. Leave a voicemail that just says their names.

And please do say his name.

Bill R Factor. 1999-2024

[hithisartexists]

hi im still alive. i got back in the fnaf craze while engaging with nostalgia. heres the art ive made so far.

1. lyrics from True Romance by She Wants Revenge

2. panel redraw of the graphic novel + a closeup of the face for detail

3. college era willry of them talking about making fredbear's + extra doodle of henrys fredbear fit

4. doodles i made while reading the graphic novels

below the read more: a several paragraph long rant i went on that was just supposed to be willry timeline headcanons. oops

henry henry henry henry henry and william and henry and william and

in my hc, the timelines goes that henry and william met in college. henry was always more reasonable and personable, but he grew attached to william anyway. William, of course, was (not) very normal about this/. He starts writing about henry in his journal, (An idea from henry, actually, to start journals as a form of self therapy. He was reasonable like that.) EVentually they open up fredbears together and start families. Henry was so in love with his own family and everything was going perfectly for him. He and william were still good friends. William seemed to be a bit more distant to his own family, in fact he was never sure if he had wanted to start it in the first place. Realistically, this is never what he wanted, but he pushed those thoughts on the backburner because anything with Henry was out of the question.

This continues until the first Bite, in which the crying child, his favorite son, dies. His youngest was always his favorite because he learned quick. Evan learned from Micheal and Will's interactions not to talk or fight back or he would be in trouble. He learned from his sister not to bother dad because "kids should only speak when spoken to." He was the perfect child to William because he never got in the way or complained.

Upon Evan's death, William is devastated. And like a savior, Henry is there. Henry is there to keep him from being alone (and also to make sure he's not too cruel in Michael's punishments, deserved or not). William tries to absorb himself in his engineering to distract from the death, but it's not enough. He keeps obsessing over it while building, while doing anything, and as it keeps ramping up he keeps leaning on Henry as a crutch, but even he can't keep Will's head above water.

One day, William is brimming with rage. He runs an establishment for all these happy families, the same establishment that tore apart his own. His best friend at the center of it, never truly knowing his grief. And one day, a crime of passion inspired by rage and wanting to be recognized and selfishness over the attention of his friend, who was ready to move on before he was, led to six dead kids, most noteably Charlotte, Henry's daughter. Panic sets in midway through the murders but he knows he can't just let them go now. In a fit of terror he stuffs them in spare suits, intending to return the next day with more time and dispose of them properly. As he leaves, though, they speak. They scream and they cry and they curse and William runs back home, horrified.

Henry is devastated. His poor baby girl, missing, the one time he looks away from her. The police are searching, he and his wife are crying, and Sammy doesnt understand why his twin sister isn't coming home. He takes his first day off work in years. Upon returning, he is greeted by William. How kind of him to run the place in Henry's absence, to keep it so clean. Oh, and that paperwork that bothered him so much is finally complete. And these sweet, understanding words from somebody who truly understands his grievances, all this is all he could really hope for. Will sounded so sure of his words, "They'll find her, she can't be far," the way he spoke so matter-of-factly and allowed Henry to fall limp in his arms made it seem like maybe it would really be okay.

Days pass, it isn't okay. Weeks. Months. In the absence of Charlie, it feels like William is the only one really there for him. It isn't okay. He keeps an old doll his daughter loved with him, and in his spare time he sobs and sobs and sobs into it, filling it with deep agony that only made it harder to look at. He had begun treating it like a new daughter, going so far as to build an animatronic around the doll, something of hers that could bring her back to life. But it wasn't just Charlie in that doll anymore, it was the deep sorrow of her father that fueled the machine. After enough of this, his wife leaves him and takes Sammy with her, overwhelmed and exhausted by Henry's ever-increasing delusion.

Now he really only does have William (and his metallic simulacra of paternal love). They spend more time together, and the dream of the original Fredbear's dies out as both seem to lose interest.

William's wife leaves him at some point as well, or just disappears, his story is unclear. He claims they had a heated argument about how neglectful he was to her and his family, at which point she packed up and left. There's been no way to contact her since.

At one point, William leaves his journal out. He's left the room for a few minutes, and Henry can't help but be curious. He starts from the beginning, a wholesome and slow start where William writes in very short and objective sentences, unsure of how to utilize the journal. As time goes on he seems much more passionate and full of life, around the height of Fredbear's. By this point Henry has managed to pinpoint exactly how William had felt about him this entire time, his writing seemed so much more jovial and near childish when writing about Henry. He chose to respectfully ignore this fact for Will's sake.

On the day of the bite, the handwriting is light and unsure of itself. Most of the pages after this point seem to be tear stained and/or partially torn. It's a sad thing to read this man's grief. The writing is back to the disjointed and discordial structure from the beginning, when they first met. As the pages go on, he seems to have regained his confidence, but he's still clearly a broken man. The pages go on tangents, his writing is harsh and jagged, occasionally leaving holes in the paper. Phrases repeat themselves, words fall off the lines, and Henry's name appears a lot more than he was comfortable with before.

The day of his daughter's supposed 'disappearance.' The writing is the most loopy and inane it's been thus far, but upon decoding it, overwhelming fear floods his heart. A confession. Blatant admittance and graphic description.

Henry slams the book shut, horrified and betrayed. His friend, his closest and best friend, his only friend-- took everything from him. He took everything and gave him relief piece by piece, acting like nothing was wrong for months. Acting innocent for months while Henry sobbed and wept in his shoulders and gave him everything he had left: his mind.

Henry leaves William and cuts him off entirely. He closes himself up in his house with his craft. He still can't bring himself to turn William in. He keeps trying to build Charlie, he builds more of her and tries to perfect her so that maybe, just maybe he can keep a piece of his old life. But nothing is right still; she is made of metal and fear and anger and betrayal and she will never be his dear Charlotte. He keeps working anyway, it doesn't even seem to be about love anymore. He even neglects her, seeing her only as the versions of her he's built and discarded. Not the version she would've grown to be.

He dies in that house to the only thing he could ever trust, his metal and his hands.

(alternative ending wjere william catches henry reading the book and instead of letting him go, chooses to kidnap him and keep him all for himself :3)

and the willy does afton shit. you know the rest

ok im done

[darkspellmaster]

I need help with the context of this coming from Someone who started this series a few weeks ago I’m super lost I don’t know if you answers this before and everything iv searched always confuses me so I’m asking

I need your help explaining something I don't understand did Vincent care about OCiel or only care about RCiel because I Read somewhere that Vincent or Francis I think called OCiel a "spare" when asked "who would inherit the manor the title"

I also heard that he had high regards for the RCiel instead of OCiel and is seen with RCiel more then OCiel it throws me off because people tell me he's a bad father to OCiel some tell me he's a good father to OCiel some have said he only cares for RCiel and it throws me off and no matter how many times I read the manga I always get confused |probably because I have a hard time comprehending stuff |

I did hear some stuff like that he apparently brought back gifts for OCiel after the boat trip they went on that apparently OCiel encouraged them to go on I also heard he took OCiel to learn about the duties of an Eral even tho he would not be one I also was told that he took OCiel to a party because he asked and Cooked OCiel and his wife food??? I also heard that he spent sometime with OCiel like playing “house” and something like that is that true?

I don’t know I can’t really tell the difference between the twins when they were young 😭 and it throws me I would really like a more simplified answer for this please and thank you |im asking this anonymously because I’m afraid of asking qeustions and don’t want to because I feel like I’ll be judge 😭|

Sorry that this took me a while to answer (I teach in college so that comes first) so I hope this answers your questions.

Okay this is very complicated, but I will try to cover this as best I can. So back when OCiel and RCiel were little, after RCiel had his butt handed to him by their Aunt Francis in a fencing lesson, and OCiel had been told by RCiel to go to their lesson, since RCiel needed to change, and, while walking down the hall this conversation was overheard. (Chapter 132 of the manga)

OCiel catches them talking about RCiel, and Francis is rather not happy with the fact that the future Watchdog is actually failing in protecting himself, and by that extension both her daughter Lizzie, her son, Edward, and his own brother should something happen when the kids are on their own as it were. RCiel can't fight, at all, and Francis is concerned about what will happen should RCiel not be able to fulfill his duties.

Francis is the one that calls him a spare, which, in the period isn't a bad word. It's what he is. Nobles and Royals tended to have more than one child should the other pass. Francis is the Spare to Vincent, since he inherited the title, thus, if she was single, she could likely have taken it over as her mother did.

Vincent seems to love his sons, both of them. As his words here indicate that, should something happen to RCiel, since he sucks at protecting himself -thus why Francis is teaching Lizzie, then OCiel will take over. Vincent is showing kindness. He's willing to give everything up, and step away from being a lord in order to protect OCiel. He's worried about him as he is like Rachel, not totally delicate but more easy to get ill.

And yes, when OCiel told them to go on the boat ride, even though he seemed reluctant to go himself, he did bring back a ton of flowers for his son. OCiel is shy about Dee, so he didn't run into the room when RCiel went in there to talk to see Dee (Diedrich) and Vincent. Vincent is looking over at OCiel, who his hiding behind a curtain, while also addressing RCiel in his lap.

He's rightly concerned about his son's illness. It should be noted that we don't see Vincent bring over the food to OCiel, but given we see later there's two of everything, and RCiel goes off to play chess with his brother, it's clear that he stopped by there first then brought the food over to Rachel in the cooking story. The thing is that Vincent knows OCiel won't back down in insisting the others have fun, and chooses to stay home. It shows, as Undertaker notes, that OCiel is different than the other Phantomhives. He's willing to risk his life and do things to make others happy. He thinks less of his comfort and more of others. It's something Vincent himself seems to notice too and encourages his younger son's dreams.

During the party he keeps his hand on OCiel's head, and let's him stay close to him. Showing he's protecting him and happy to have him there with him and RCiel. It's shown in a number of shots, and you can see where his hand and arm is during the different panels even though Yana was covering up the fact that there was twins.

Vincent has RCiel to the right side and talking to him in the moment, while OCiel is to the left side and shown. He's holding onto OCiel's hand while he's scared and nervous.

Even when OCiel is cowering behind his father you can see he's not letting go of his son's hand.

When he's talking to Chlaus, he only one arm hugs him because he's not letting go of that hand.

You can see a moment later he has his hand on OCiel's head and patting it after. That's the only time the hand is off of OCiel's hand. The hand stays on OCiel's head while RCiel get's picked up.

His left arm is extended and down, showing he's either back to holding OCiel's hand or still has his hand on his head and is smiling down at his younger son. Vincent was shown to be cooking with RCiel, and due to the way she was keeping the twins hidden, we haven't gotten to see Vincent playing with OCiel alone as of yet. But he read to his kids, and given his personality, clearly taught them chess and got him all the toys and gives them equal education.

So yes I do think that Vincent loved OCiel very much, I just don't think we've become privy to their moments due to the way yana was covering up the twins reveal and all that. No judging at all. Some handy links... The Official Double Ciel theorist https://theofficialdoublecieltheorist.blogspot.com/ Has a good twins theory thing and...

1)     The difference of the parting and direction of the bangs between Real!Ciel and Shy!Ciel;

RCiel =Parted on the right (When facing him the part appears on the left side)

OCiel =Parted on the left (When facing him the part appears on the right. ) Also I'm going to link you to one of my favorite theorist/a great person to answer a lot of questions. Midnight in Town

She answered a LOT of questions about the twins and in a lot of cases is better in answering about aspects of the series.

[ultimateplaylistmaker]

OH BOY LETS DO IT @jacksmusesdrv3

Unfortunately due to how little we know about Jin, it's hard to talk about things he specifically did on his own, BUT WE CAN TALK ABOUT WHAT HE DIDNT DO, AND HIS STAFF THAT HE ALLOWS TO RUN WILD

I'll try to not be talking about the Izuru project outside of things Jin may have gone out of his way to do that were not required of him, otherwise I will assume that he had no real control or say over it because without that then you have to get into the steering committee and the structure of the schools politics and eughgheguh

First off, lets start with something a bit less directly but still speaks a LOT about how Jin's a weak ass pushover who doesn't give a shit about the students, his staff!

Like first of all, it's the one, the only Koichi Kizakura! For those who don't remember it's the guy in the hat from Danganronpa 3, the drunk one.

Which as you can imagine, that makes the problem immediately apparent. You shouldn't have a teacher who coming to work hangover and sick, I care a lot less about his talent hunting part, that's a weird secondary thing, and he's not really interacting much with them just giving them invites, I'll allow it. Teaching though? No. no no no no. Especially Main Course??? What. What. What. Is he only here because none of the students actually have to show up to class (which is fucked up as well what the hell) so he can just sit in Jin's room emanating "my best friends straight and married and ive been in love with him my whole life so im going to be sassy and drunk" energy??

However I want to quickly pivot because i just realized

Chisa's actual title is ASSISTANT HOMEROOM TEACHER. Which while 8 years ago this was just "oh yeah shes a teacher" however, with my current life experience she 100% should not have had as much power over her class. Assistant teachers and aides and the like while VERY useful...need supervision, Chisa is straight out of college, she's never taught before, and while that might be okay for a normal school, the fact this is ONE OF THE MOST ELITE SCHOOLS IN THE WORLD? Everyone here doing the main teaching should HAVE SO MANY MORE QUALIFICATIONS.

So while Assistant is a good fit for her over the main homeroom teacher, the fact JIN ACTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGES THAT KOICHI'S GONNA BE KINDA SHIT??UNHINGED BEHAVIOR. GIVE HER TO A TEACHER WHO'S ACTUALLY GOING TO BE ABLE TO ADVISE OR SUPERVISE?? AND KOICHI IS JUST LIKE "LMAO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT"?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? WHAT SCHOOL WOULD EVER ALLOW THIS???

I will give Koichi one thing though, he's shrewd as hell, in the future foundation killing game hes a valuable asset, but in a school setting? Why is HE HERE

Jin laments somewhat that Chisa is here because of Munakata "insisting", which Koichi rightfully points out as a power play. Jin brushes this off as he knows that, but like?? What the hell.

KYOSUKE ISN'T EVEN AT HOPES PEAK??? HE'S AT AN OFF-SHORE FACILITY, YOU COULD HAVE SO EASILY JUST...NOT HIRED HER? YOURE THE ONE IN CHARGE HERE! SAY NO! HE CAN HIRE HER AT HIS SCHOOL HE'S BUILDING

As well, even with the class being required, KIDS ARE STILL SHOWING UP, so even the excuse of "they dont show up' doesnt fly! Sonia, Fuyuhiko, Hiyoko, and Mahiru are ALL IN THE CLASSROOM when Chisa first enters, god they're all so cute also why is hiyoko's cuteness up the max in this anime also Mikan enters a bit later bringing the total to five

Then chisa IMMEDIATELY starts lying, she was NEVER made the teacher, she's THE ASSISTANT TEACHER, THATS A DIFFERENT JOB, YOU ARENT SUPPOSED TO BE THE MAIN TEACHER, YOU ARE THERE TO EASE THE WORKLOAD. YOUR JOB IS TO GRADE SHIT, AND HELP KIDS DO FRACTIONS OR WHATEVER. YOU ARE THERE TO HELP BE MORE HANDS ON DECK AND MAKE SURE THE MAIN TEACHER CAN FOCUS ON MORE IMPORTANT THINGS THEN TELLING KIDS THEY CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM

I do love Hiyoko immediately going "lmao i cant wait to break her, destroy her social position, sell her organs, kill her, and more" like im sorry if you don't like Hiyoko you're wrong she's hysterical Fuyuhiko is the only person to go "WHAT ABOUT THE IDIOT BEFORE" To which we learn..... HE'S HUNGOVER AND VOMITING, GO HOME.

FUYUHIKO'S RESPONSE??

"Again?"

WHICH JUST FURTHER ILLUSTRATES THAT KOICHI IS BEING AN ACTIVE DETRIMENT TO THE CLASSROOM, WHY IS HE A TEACHER, IS HE EVEN CERTIFIED.

Im going to ignore Chisa's absolute batshit student hunt to get them all in class, that one's going under "thats just danganronpa/anime logic" though i will point a few things, like she is right that school isnt about just passing exams, its also about learning social skills and building connections, so the fact so few kids are ever even in class is not great for their development. However, do not call your actual students rotten oranges, especially when one is essentially named orange, {Mikan}. Especially when it's not their fault??? Like these are the kids who actually came into class, dont punish them for it, at least Sonia's having a blast. Also don't threaten students with knives but as he's literally a yakuza heir i'll let that one slide, like yeah fair.

Even just the FIRST EPISODE of danganronpa 3 we learn

Jin is protecting and sheltering his completely unfit to be a teacher best friend, something actively detrimental to the school life and education of these kids. While I'm okay with his talent hunt stuff, this man should not be a teacher on campus who is hungover and vomiting often enough for students to recognize a damn pattern

Jin is completely uncaring or ambivalent to power plays done by people with less power then him that he can easily shut down, but instead plays it off as "forcing his hand" when in reality he absolutely could have just...not hired Chisa! What's Kyosuke gonna do in retaliation if he doesn't? Does Jin benefit from this at all? It's a pointless allowance, one Koichi points as only going to undermine him for no reason, and he's not wrong! She literally came as a spy!

Hiring Chisa makes no sense whatsoever, she's graduated so while she's probably qualified to teach in general. Letting her completely take over and command a classroom on her first day, going against the school rules to do so because attendance isn't mandatory, of one of the most PRESTIGIOUS schools in the world is just. Unhinged. It's lunacy. Especially when she's officially just the assistant teacher. Which is the role she should have in this situation! Assistant teacher's DON'T DO THIS. While she's said to leave a good impact on the students, this could have gone horribly wrong, and the fact Jin doesn't seem to care is a really bad look.

Actively upholds policies that are detrimental the development of social skills and normal skills one would learn in a high school environment along with seemingly uncaring if they get hurt or hurt others doing this, along with the sheer amount of property damage.

He actively allows people into the school who turn out to be spies or actively looking to work against hope's peak, Chisa is a spy, Juzo is a spy, it seems the only credentials to work here are "be an ultimate at some point" and after that Jin just does not care

What about other things he does in the series? (im not going to get screenshots anymore i dont wanna)

He plays favorites with the students, despite Nagito's terrorist attack being very much nagito' sfault, out of the four students involved in the utter catastrophe that was the gym testing thing, he's the only one not expelled because his luck is wanted for further study by Jin. While Ruruka and Seiko do have valid reasons of helping Ruruka cheat (which even then im unsure? like yeah ruruka tried to put in performance enhancing drugs but uh, i dont, think that would effect the pastry? it would just make the people eating it have better talent? It wasn't like Ruruka doped herself to make better pastries, so im unsure if this actually would have counted as cheating. Sure the mix up resulted in laxatives being put in instead which could count as poisoning but the act of the enhancing drug is kind of a grey area here but also gundham was allowed to let a bear bite Souda so I think this should be considered same shit as always) I'm unsure if this is really an expel worthy offense next to "literally blew up the gym in a terrorist attack" nagito over there just getting suspended, and also Sohnosuke is tangentially involved in that debacle at BEST. This is the one time in her life ever that Ruruka deserved better. Also Koichi finally gets punishment in a suspension and Chisa faces a consequence for her actions only after multiple people are poisoned, and Komaeda did a terrorism

The reserve course teaching position is used as a punishment, as when Chisa is finally given a consequence for how wildly out of control she's kinda led everything to be, it's to be a reserve teacher, something seen as a nasty punishment. Again, this ties back into LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THE RESERVE COURSE. While I won't go too into that because that's also like steering committee stuff, Jin could have easily just suspended her like Koichi. This doesn't even get any payoff because the next episode she just gets put back into 77-B and now is made their ACTUAL homeroom teacher after a few months passed off screen. Jin no.

Jin laments about how he didn't use Kyoko's talent to find the mastermind of the tragedy, which. Is another annoying retcon, because he did do that in danganronpa 0 then fucking backpeddled and threatened her about it. He literally talks about the parade, he did do that, which also my man you couldn't do anything to try and appease the parade? At all?

He's extremely uninvolved, basically every choice or decision he ever makes is because someone else told him to do it, or because he couldn't bother to do something different, he's a doormat, a puppet, and he doesn't care even when it starts to have a death count

Has helped cover up over 10 student deaths. While he argues about the massacre of the student council being covered in dr3, in dr0 he still covers up the Madarai Brothers, Yasuke, the only survivor of the massacre, and Yuto, marking them as just expelled, instead of fucking killed. Very "no one has ever died in disneyland" of him.

Does nothing to help the Reserve course, I'm not even sure he even ever interacts with a reserve

Literally everything about Juzo, sir, sir are you aware the security are assaulting reserves? SIR!

I can't talk too much about his plan to lock up class 78 inside hope's peak because we dont see much of it, but also only sheltering like 17 people inside of hope's peak is a little underkill for how many people you could save with that.

The steering committee isn't even actually all that intimidating, its just four old dudes, like, my dude, you have yakuza and other gang members at this school, you could solve this problem of the steering board doing crimes against humanity pretty easily actually (list of students who definitely could have just killed, reported, or otherwise sabotaged the steering committee if jin had enough of a backbone to actually use his resources to stop mass human experimentation: Byakuya Togami, Imposter, Madarai Brothers, Santa, Suzuhiko Ōtsuki, Matsuda, Sonia, Ted, Elite Task Force Members, Fuyuhiko, Peko, Miaya) These guys are so fucking killable look at them, one of thems already about to pass over dead, literally just give Fuyuhiko like 100,000 dollars and a pass on the sato murder and your problems ~are solved~ and no one can argue "but but morality" HE HELPED COVER UP OVER TEN MURDERS OF HIS STUDENTS

So yeah, terrible headmaster, terrible father, utter spineless coward who I wouldn't trust with a banana let alone Hope's Peak Academy

I do wish we learned anything about his past of hopes peak because like, he has to be an ultimate right? No way he's not, what was his ultimate? What did he do? How did he get this role? Honestly I'm extremely curious about this ngl, like if you want to actually flesh out jin (WHICH LIKE HA NO THEY DONT) a novel about his time at hope's peak could be fun to actually y'know, make him in any way shape of form actually redeemable?

Honestly you could have something interesting there because the Kirigiri clan is supposed to be super underground and Jin's a shit detective so if he's scouted it had to be something related to something else he did, which could help create the divide, and you could use this to actually give us basically any information on his wife, like, a name for instance. Hell with his age of "late 30s" and Kyoko's age at time of death you could make a solid argument that he was a teen dad and now wouldnt that make his dynamic with kirigiri so much more interesting? Like if we assume Kyoko's 17-18 and the late 30's is accurate still even after time in the tragedy that puts him at a solid 17-22 when kyoko was born, hell retcon his birthday to november-december and you could get away with 16. If you really wanna go dark you could even play into the steering committee secretly encouraging teen pregnancy amongst students as an early form of talent eugenics study. Make Kazuo worse, make Jin an example of the circle of violence cowards.

[aita-polls]

Full post in plain text under the cut

Anonymous asked:

Would I be the asshole for dropping a guy be of how he treats his parents?

So l (17 M) had been friends with this guy O (17M) for a few years. And.. mine and his friendship had been off and on for about a year due to how he's been treating people recently, but that's not what this is about. This is about how he treats his parents.

So, l've always loved his parents. They're the exact kind of parents Ive always wanted, and they've basically adopted me as their own kid, as I do not have parents of my own. I mean, I lived with O for a bit due to my living situation not being safe at the time, and we all really bonded.

However. While I was there I REALLY saw some in site of how O treats his family.

Before I moved in, he would talk about how horrible they all were, and how mean and "abusive" they were, but now I think he was just saying that because me and a couple of our other mutual friends don't have great parents, and he wanted to fit in. Because his parents are literally the sweetest people l've ever met. And he's mean to them for no reason. For example, he always has some disrespect tone towards them. Like his mother will come home after a 12 hour shift at the hospital, and sit down to talk with us about our day, and she's all happy to see us, and he tells her to fuck off. I mean, I literally heard him call her fat to her face, and only apologized and started crying when she threatened to take his phone. He complains constantly how his dad forgot to do his laundry or make dinner, as if he's not a senior in HS and is perfectly capable of doing all of that himself, and not only that, but he's extremely verbally abusive to his younger brother M(15), who really just tries to spend time with him. O is CONSTANTLY complaining about his family as if they beat and whip him into shape, and it really upsets me because his life is literally so amazing. I DREAM about having his family, and the support he has, but he only takes it for granted.

Idk. Maybe it's because I grew up in an abusive home, or that i don't have parents. But i literally couldn't ever imagine treating such lovely people like this. Especially when they treat me like their own son. And O is always talking about how his mother is going to kick him out, and whenever it was actually brought up, she said she just wanted him to go to college and not live at home until O was 25 (which was his ORIGINAL PLAN. TO LIVE AT HOME UNTIL HE WAS 25 W NO JOB OR SCHOOL.)

So. Idk. It's so heartbreaking to watch such lovely people be put down by this emotionally immature baby man, and I can't do it. Not to mention he's also verbally abusive to me and everyone else, and I think I'm the only person who realizes it.

So, WIBTA??

[problematicraccoon]

I WANNA TALK ABOUT MY SKZ DR AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

heres a lore dump

MKAY so in this reality im gonna be in a polycule situation with the entirety of stray kids (shut up i know im an interdimentional whore), but hwen i first shift there, we're still just friends.

some details about me in that dr is that my name is Alyssa Kolanko, im 23, im in a dance crew thats world renowned with Emmy (the youtuber) Beomhan (our boi) Ryan (hellyxryan) and Ravon (also youtuber), we're all best friends (ive been besties with Ravon since we were teenagers growing up together in ohio, then we both moved to Georgetown, Washington for college and to join the dance crew Ultraviolet)

dance crews are treated like kpop groups are in my cr. we're signed to entertainment companies' dance group divisions, have fanchants, fandoms, light sticks, stadium tours, music videos (where we do dance covers of songs and have cool visuals to go with it). if you guys have any ideas as to what our fandom name should be, i'd appreciate it, i cant come up with jack shit lmao.

i lived with Ravon in a cool loft apartment in Georgetown for four years, ever since we moved when we were 19, and now that we're 23, he's decided he wants to live with his boyfriend of two years, Carter (also youtuber from my cr), and i offered to move out so they could have the loft.

i've known the boys of SKZ since i was 21 and they came to see us perform at a dance festival (a type of concert where a bunch of dance crews come and perform at a stadium or concert hall)

as i've been a youtuber since i was like 15 in this reality, i grew a large following and the guys (skz) have been watching my videos since the beginning.

we quickly become friends after we meet, and become very close over the next few years. they fall head over heels in love with me lmao. i love living in fanfiction. ANYWAY.

now that Ravon and Carter are moving in together, i needed to find somewhere else to live. i expressed to the guys in our gc that i wasnt looking forward to living alone, as i love to live with my friends, and they suggested i move in with them since they're just getting ready to have a house built for them. i agree, and we all work together to build our dream house.

when i spawn in, it'll be the day before i fully move into the house with the guys. my besties (the members of UV) all come to me and Ravon's loft to spend the night and help me pack. then, the following day, the guys come and help pile my stuff into our cars and we head off to our house, where (since its totally empty) we'll lay out blankets and pillows in the unfurnished living room to have a big sleepover until we can get our bedrooms sorted out. i am very scared of living with eight other people btw T0T and it's stray kids for christ sake???? its gonna be so fucking LOUD

OH OH AND I HAVE A CAT. SHES AN ORANGE TABBY AND SHES VERY SWEET AND STUPID AND RUNS INTO WALLS AND HER NAME IS MINKA. SHES 2 AND I ADOPTED HER WHEN SHE WAS JUST A KITTEN <3 minho is absolutely OBSESSED with her

and im besties with Brittany Broski because i adore her she is everything to me i would lay down my life for her

and as for my backstory; very tragic, kinda personal, wont share much about that. but all that you need to know is that my parents were shitty, and my aunt Isla (the same one from my better childhood dr, face claim Daphne Zuniga) saved me and my younger brother Eric (eric lloyd) and took us to Ohio from Poland to raise us when i was 13. she also has a son, who's technically my cousin, but i consider him my big brother and he considers me and eric his little siblings. his name is brandon, and his face/personality claim is Brandon Farris (hes a HILARIOUS youtuber, highly recommend him)

so yeah- theres alot more lore in this dr, its definitely my most detailed one, so i might make another post explaining more lmao.

[schlattslonghairytoes]

chapter four

real life!

third person

after the hug they shared the two struggled to keep up a conversation, every time it got quiet and awkward, so they went their separate ways, schlatt going to unpack, and talia going to start dinner with maddie.

the two were never the smartest, talia arguably smarter then schlatt but, not by much. not talking school smarts. more so emotionally, both damaged souls unsure how to mend problems when they arise.

from fights during childhood about who got the better power ranger, the red being a fan favorite amongst both kids, to high school about making dumb decisions and initiating the silent treatment, but at the end of the day, after running for as long as they could, they worked it out.

making peace so the next day they could repeat the doomed cycle, until they didn't, until talia left for california and broke schlatts heart in the process. ripping hers in half at the same time.

neither realized how much they needed one another, but they will, whether everyone around them realizes it before they do, or they come to terms with what has always been set in stone.

real life!

schlatt

I sat in my room, why does she have to be more perfect then before, i don't even deserve to be mad at her, but I am, but at the same time im not. good god why does this have to be so hard. I hear the door next to me close and soon I realize it's already around 12, so I get up and go to brush my teeth.

I walk into my bathroom where I see a pink toothbrush next to my blue one, maybe im sharing a bathroom with cooper he likes pink. that thought leaves as soon as it entered when talia romano walks into the bathroom in a very small pair of pajamas.

"oh shit sorry." she yells quickly, "god im gonna kill ted." I hear her whisper under her breath as she goes to leave.

I quickly grab her shoulder. "hey it's fine we can brush our teeth together, like old times y'know?" she smiles softly at me the same smile since she was a baby.

"yeah I guess so" she laughs quietly. it's been 20 seconds and she's never been so quiet, like in her entire life. ive got to say something, oh god im scared.

"so how have you been? college life treating you well?" christ I sound 50 years old, someone save me. "college life? jay you sound 50." she laughs

that's what I said.

"I mean it's been good, im basically done with my second year, ive moved in with my friend brittnay and I have a cat and a dog now." that surprised me. "you talia, have a cat and dog and you haven't brought it up yet, can I see them." me and talia have always bonded over pets.

one time, years ago, we found a cat in an alley behind her apartment. so we adopted her, kept her at talias, her mom never even noticed. I was her dad, talia was her mom, I remember so well we would sit on her bed with our cat rammy laying on our laps, and just watch movies. she's always loved movies, that's why she's studying film I guess.

"ok here look" she passes me the phone to show me her pets " this is elton he's a border collie, and then this is my cat whiskey."

"ok let me guess, elton named after elton john, and whiskey im assuming is after your favorite drink." I joke, while she loves elton John, talia despises whiskey. "haha real funny jay, alright im heading to bed. see you tomorrow?"

"no im gonna leave in the middle of the night." I deadpan. "you suck." she laughs before closing the bathroom door, leaving me with my own thoughts. I grab my phone and open my contacts

unblock my talia<3?

yes             no

I click yes before sliding my phone in my back pocket and retreating to my bed for the night, the short girl in the room over, still fresh on my mind.

[raccoonfallsharder]

When I saw the first guardians film in middle school, my love of our favorite raccoon began. Finding a community of Rocket lovers after keeping it silently inside for so long is special (in a way I can't articulate without sounding goofy bc it's an anthropomorphic raccoon we're talking about here). I graduate from college this weekend and want to thank you for your stories getting me through hard times and motivationless days. It's given me a knew way to enjoy the movies I've watched so many times :) What was the media that got you super into Rocket and inspired your fiction writing? Much love!!

first and foremost, i want to congratulate you. school is not easy, and i swear it gets harder and feels more high-pressure/high-stakes every year. i hope that your time at college has given you more learning experiences than all-nighters, more opportunities than stressors, and more joy than hardship. and i hope that you are able to take everything you’ve earned and enjoy your freedom from university surrounded by good people, with plenty of time and resources to do the things you love. if you haven’t yet, please take time to sit and breathe and really soak up the fact that you did this. be proud of yourself. you fucken deserve it.

secondly, i read this while walking to the parking garage at 11pm after helping at an event for my college students (i work at a university) and i had to sit in my car and wait till i stopped tearing up so i could drive home. this truly made me so happy and im so glad my silly stories made things even just a little easier for you. ♡

so, my falling in love with rocket was a process. (cue me narrating this for three paragraphs like a schoolgirl with her first crush)

when we first saw rocket’s back in gotg1 i was like, oh. he’s in so much pain. between that + his fucken sarcasm, i complained afterward that the movie would’ve been so much better if he was the main character (lol). i started lazily dabbling in comics content then. i hadn’t been big into marvel comics before (more of a dc/image comics kid) but rocket and groot were becoming my faves. i loved gotg2. so much more focus on rocket, and yondu’s arc had me bawling like a baby. gotg2 made me like gotg1 more, which is part of how i judge the quality of a narrative series tbh (and why i think series are so hard to make). when the first gotg3 trailer came out and it was clear this was rocket’s story, i was obsessed. i didnt watch any additional trailers or read any more comics — rare for me. i wanted to go in completely blank. then i went back to the theatre to rewatch it three additional times (i have never before gone to see a movie more than once in the theatre). i was like… almost bursting with love for this stupid raccoon at this point.

then i got around to reading his grounded comic arc, and it was like — the dam burst. i hadn’t written fanfiction since 2017ish, and hadn’t been on tumblr since 2016, but i was like — i have to write about this fucken raccoon. i need to take care of him lol.

so when you ask what media - i guess all of it? in increments? because of course now ive watched most of his various cartoon incarnations, read probably 70% of the comics content, halfway through a stream of the 2021 game, have one of the novels (sitting on the tbr pile) and frankly the love just continues to grow.

now that ive taken up thirty-two years of your life, i just want to say im so glad you found this fandom and this community. he may be an anthropomorphic raccoon but he’s meaningful to people, in so many ways. im so very very glad that he could be that for you, and that you’re here.

congrats again, nonnie. i hope post-graduation life rewards you with supportive people who love and understand you, with joyful new experiences, good health, and everything you need to live happily and fully.

[silvermasquerade]

All for the Mon

How the world works:

Pokemon exist in our modern world! Intelligence wise? Varies but think about the level of the anime if you've seen it. they are smart.

Pokemon Gym/League challenges and things exist for younger trainers and many do it showing off badges and ribbons from adventures. Most kids do it or the coordinator scene.

But, in more recent years competitive Pokemon Battling on the college level and beyond has gotten big. Similar to some modern day Esports teams (among other things), the players while competing under one banner battle on there own. Each Team puts a certain number of competitors (Usually,9) up to battle that night and they are matched to a random member of the opponents team. Often they do double battles were its 2v2. But the member from your team you are working with would be random as well, and you don't know until moments before you get on the field.

This Takes the Place of Exy. Katelyn Day & Testuji Moriyama still helped found the hyper specifics of this type of format.

Also the cheer teams of each school are coordinators, and they do a contest style performances for half times, its cute.

Each of the Major teams have there own things they are known for, ill talk about the three main teams here, maybe ill talk about some of the others later. The Delphoxs (aka: The Foxes): Once Recruited, new recruits are given one of the traditional starter Pokemon to raise (though, there is a variety, usually these were runts of the liter or otherwise abandoned ones. The starters also arent just the region specific ones). Because, its a New start. Same recruiting standards apply. Founded by Wymack and named after his starter, Delphox who he still has with him to this day. They are misfits and there pokemon aren't always the strongest, but thats okay. we love our underdogs, and you rarely know what they will throw out next.

The Corviknights (aka The Ravens): each member has one of the Rookiedee line. Also are known for harsh battling that has left more then one opponents (or their own) Pokemon permanently injured. A trainers line up may randomly have Pokemon no longer there with no reason stated. They tend to have perfect iv stats and lean on cruelty, to no ones surprise. Lots of Dark type Pokemon. Tends to be pretty uniform. They recruit only those who've beaten multiple leagues.

The Farigiraf's (aka the Trojans!): Still the same sunny team we know and love. The signature pokemon everyone has? an Eevee! Every new trojan is given an Eevee to raise with there team and is encouraged to evolve them anyway they see fit. Its about indivuality while still being a team, and the team comps vary wildly. But they are an incredibly strong team with a variety of battle styles under there belt. Many were accomplished trainers before hands.

Evil teams still exist, the Moriyamas are secretly part of Team Rocket and using the profits from the matches they have to fund evil things tm. Not super important what. maybe making Mewtwo and capturing other legendaries to expirement on them. Only sorta relevant its fine ;p

[shlubbiehubbie]

uwu rawr this is my lore if you even care <3

so theres this guy. ive known him for over a year and we got along really well from the moment we met. long story short i fell in love with him. and it happened on accident. we were friends and i catch feelings for him but never get confirmation if he did or didnt feel the same.

heres the long story lol. we were really good friends like we both lived on campus so we hung out everyday between work and classes. we texted and called every goddamn day. we always met up when we had time. i remember feeling the desperation in a text he sent quickly followed by a call insisting he had time after a meeting to hang out and have dinner together. we even started a club together JUST TO BE ABLE TO HANG OUT MORE AND IN NICER VENUES!!! we just wanted a club where we could play jackbox games and watch movies and shows together. im telling yall he was so ideal. ive never felt so safe with someone before. i even introduced him to the solar car club at our university so we could be on the media and marketing team together. god we were almost inseparable. and he acted different when it was just us vs us with other people. he was clearly very comfortable with me. he would even tease me! he loved getting a reaction out of me. and we would laugh until our sides were sore or we were dying on the floor. we were such good friends and at some point i caught feelings.

we did so much together in the span of almost 4 months. i was having trouble with school due to the death of my grandfather, loss of my job, and being placed in 3 classes i already took at my community college (i was a transfer student). i was expected to do more than i should and felt punished for not knowing all the right channels to go through to get shit done. i felt so tired of the bullshit i didnt think a degree would be worth it at that specific university. but i didnt want to leave my friend. i had a lot of friends but this one in particular was special. this was my newest best friend who i spend countless hours with. he knew i was making the choice to drop out after that semester. the signs were clear he was going to miss me. he hugged me like it was the last time he was gonna see me. he doesnt like hugging and i can remember that embrace like it happened yesterday. i did not want to leave him. i loved him. so what do i do? i give him a card saying thank you for the memories and go no contact on him for 8 fucking months. i got over the worst depression of my life because i missed him so fucking much AND i felt like a failure for wasting my time and money on a school that clearly didnt care for me. i was going to CAPS almost once a week even when i was a student.

anyway. i get over the depression. i pick myself back up. i make great friends through the smiling friends fandom. i meet someone who sounds and laughs like my friend. what are the fucking chances. i am encouraged by new friends to reach out to my uni friend. i take my time but i finally do it. i reconnect with other friends and they encourage me too to call the friend ive been missing the most. and…he doesnt pick up. i want to cry. i feel like a failure again. but i think “maybe he called back?” HE DID. AND I MISSED IT! ACK! so i call him back. he picks up. we say our hellos and how are yous. i apologize for the radio silence and say i thought he hated me. he says “no no no no no no i dont hate you dont even worry about it.” im in love again. and the gentleness of his tone? are you fucking kidding me? we talk for like an hour and then i finally let him go to finish packing before he moves back in. i see him the day he moves in and i meet his parents for the 2nd time. after that we start hanging out again but a little too often. we set up proper boundaries after i have a mental breakdown bc he is the only one of my friends from last year that actually missed me and wanted to see me again. he said he wanted to see me again.

the last time i saw him was september 8. i was escorted off campus on the 9th and the 11th due to depressive episodes during both incidents (undiagnosed and unmediated at the time). i was institutionalized from the 14th to the 19th. i still havent seen my friend. i am officially banned from campus and i miss my good friend everyday. i wrote poetry about him that i may never share. i love him. i always will. what sucks is so many things remind me of him. i feel sick when i get reminded of him because i cannot physically be near him and i just miss him that fucking much. i’m hopeless. but i do think i will see him again even if it is not soon. its killing me to wait to see him again. fuck my stupid baka life. god i miss that goober!

[jils-things]

happy new year! ; my farewell letter to 2023.

last year, ive written a similar farewell letter to 2022 and i want to make this a little tradition - so here's my second one <3

okay, so - wow. first of all, just wow.

this might be incredibly bold to say, but i think this has been my best year to be alive (i promise you i do not want to sound corny about it, but i really think 2023 was amazing for me.) of course, many things happened. im at my last year of senior high before i go to college, which is very scary but i hope i can be brave for it. school has been actually very generous to me recently, despite a few minor setbacks that looked very major when i was going through it, but overall it was very generous to me. but irl rambling is boring, so let's talk about my selfshipping blog!

last year, i had a verrrry firm grip on a previous f/o that im 100% sure old followers know - though im a little sad I can't find that spark to focus on him again - the shift in media has helped me find new f/os that i can say has been incredibly memorable to me. as we all know, im in a very INSANE pokemon brainrot since november or october(?) of 2022 and it has still remained heavily active in my head right now - which i honestly didn't even know i had the full capacity of doing! I don't know what magic this game did to me but i promise you im so happy i revisited this game again.

i would talk about how grateful i am to everyone has been supportive and sweet about my romantic f/os but i think the best highlight of my blog is my newfound love for my familial f/os - before that, i never had a single one on my list because i was simply quite disconnected to the family love concept, but after indulging myself in pokemon - i would come to discover pokemon adve.ntures, or poke.spe for short hehe. i have so many fond memories of finding myself wanting to read more and MORE - i would have every chapter downloaded beforehand just so that i can read it in my spare time, not even school that demanded my attention would stop me from sneaking my phone to quickly read through the manga LMAOO - but consuming the media itself wasn't enough, i needed people to understand the ROLLERCOASTER of emotions i had while reading and well, i think its very clear who those people were, the ones who came to save my miserable ass from (insert shocking scene in poke.spe) AHSJHSHSJSJS you know who you are and i appreciate you forever and they - i kid you not, helped me create something wonderful!

but of course, the video games were just as amazing. would you believe me if i told you i played gens 1 to 7 in one year? that's how much i adore the game and i still have yet to catch up to other games like the spin offs :] im not sure how to end this statement but. im so happy appleshipping and memoryshipping exists 🥹 i usually don't like thinking that they'll be with me forever because i believe nothing lasts for eternity but i just wanna say that they were just ... im just so contented 🥹 again, all of this actually would not have been so impactful to me if it weren't for my awesome mutuals hearing me out about it and supplying me with even more ideas - these mutuals would also end up becoming such loving friends of mine that helped me get out of my comfort zone and im still happy they're around (hi guys!) 💚

oh! and, what a surprise, i never thought id have an oc f/o! i initially thought that this was so impossible to do but?!??;?! it just happened i guess!!!! i keep surprising myself this year 😭

ok now here's the obligatory art summary for the year 💥

literally the best thing i ever done with my art is try using csp and it actually really helped me change the way i draw, and i even managed to cross out a few items in my last year's resolution thanks to it! i still bounce between using ibispaint and csp but i certainly improved!

the last thing im forever grateful about are the people who has been consistently supportive of my art - especially the commissions, i can't stress it enough how much it has helped me outside and it allowed me to go beyond my comfort zone when it comes to my drawing skills :']] thank you all so much

and finally, big thank you to everyone who sent me nice letters to my tree 🥹💚 its a gentle reminder that im actually ... pretty cool ig 🥹 and if you didn't send one, that's also ok!! you're still cool for reading this mwamwa

again im so bad at ending posts like these but cheers to a new year and let's hope it'll be better for everyone. 💚🫡 goodbye 2023!