#ive never had this many people telling me im hot

[celestial-mutt]

Downloading grinder and immediately exploding

[kamaela]

a year of fandom in recs

cutie pie @garagepaperback tagged me in a 2024 fandom wrap up post and so yeah, i'll hop on the sentimental train. i've been inspired by so many things this year and i shall do my best to honour them in the rambling list below!

--

having previously been an avid lurker, i've thoroughly enjoyed making friends with some truly inspiring people in this fandom. without a doubt this has been a bright, bright spot on my year and im so grateful! you're all so wonderful and i love you and hope you know that.

@kk1smet has been a source of joy and inspiration from the start. my first ever fic (Got Me Started) was inspired by their prompts, and then my first ever fest fic (Mirror, Me) was sparked by their stunning art. THEN they honoured me with my first ever fanart for my fic (To Be Punished). im so blessed to call them a friend!

i can draw a straight line from every single word i've posted on ao3 to the fanworks that inspired them. ive read/seen sooo many wonderful things this year and it's impossible for me to name them all. ive picked out a few below the cut that are directly responsible for lighting a fire in me so strong i had to write that shit down. if you haven't already, please give some of these fanworks a go, they're all top notch.

+ @yiiiiiiiikes25 wrote cruising altitude from the raven cycle fandom and it fucking rocked my world. i am telling you right now, i have never read anything like it. it is an absolute masterclass in craft. every single word is thoughtful and precise. i thought i knew what voice and diction and pov were and how they can be used to tell the story you want to tell but really, i had no idea. yikes has this way of pulling you so deeply into a characters pov that its honestly disorienting to come out of. i fell in love with these random boys from a fandom i'd never read nor cared for, and i keep going back. i don't care if you are drarry monogamous, if you want to experience some of the best this dumb hobby we're all addicted to has to offer, i implore you, go read cruising altitude. go. GO. and then go read the rest of yikes catalogue bc ofc they also do drarry impeccably.

+ @garagepaperback i read this heaven of mud and haven't been the same since. then i read javelin and ive been permanently altered once more. not only is garage directly responsible for exes becoming my all time favourite trope, but the way they explore the deep, long-lasting effects of trauma (in these and all your other fics) is second to none! its incredibly beautiful and impactful and has left such as lasting impression on me. and all that is wrapped up in some of the most poetic and stunning prose ive ever had the pleasure of reading?!?!! get out of here (but also please dont i value our friendship dearly)

+ @mintawasalreadytaken i read All I Want For Kwithmath and then i went on a tear and read most of their Dead Drarry: Do Not Eat series and honestly had the BEST TIME. they write some of the greatest toxic, kinky, fucked up drarry, but somehow make it so i really fucking care about these two idiots, and want the best for them?? minta is so good at hooking you right from the top and then pounding those hooks in deeper and deeper. the end result is that i now cradle toxic drarry in my hands and wont ever let them go (and sometimes I even try writing them)

+ @eleadore's as the plant that never blooms and everything i could ever want helped to shape and sand the edges of the drarry dynamic i love and want to write! el writes some of the hottest, most rewarding, prickly to tender drarry out here. pls run don't walk.

+ @faiell and i shared our drarry fic debuts on ao3 this year and their fic, Purple, absolutely blew me out of the water. it's expertly written, hot as fuck, contains the shifting power dynamics that are at the core of what i love about drarry, and has SUCH A satisfying ending. i was grinning and cackling for about 3-4 business days after reading. (also peep their tumblr to scream at their art) fai, i've said it before and ill say it again, i'll follow you into fire, i really will.

this post is getting far far too long but i cannot end it without also mentioning some (not exhaustive) of the STAND OUT creators i've had the pleasure of experiencing for the first time this year. i'll include a rec (all drarry unless stated otherwise) + whatever unhinged drivel i put in my bookmark for each but it goes without saying that the talent runs deep and id rec multiple creations from these guys if this post wasn't already novel length.

@citrusses' Our Objective Remains Unchanged: THE drarry muggle au. reread a 100x material

@oknowkiss' draco malfoy's substitute murder service: this made me laugh out loud at several points and its only 10k!!!! also draco is simply lovely, i love him so so so so very much i want to be his friend and just listen to him talk and be insane. this whole thing is thoroughly enjoyable.

@mono-chromia's Red Wine Supernova: everything about this is wonderful, the relationship development, the sex, the writing. you'll want draco to step on your face after reading.

@putridpommes' [ART] Step by step (NSFW): sub harry. draco stepping on face. neon and sweat. what more do you need.

Helenish's A Soft Spot For Lost Causes (draco/ron): trauma treated kinda unserious but still seriously. gorgeous dialogue.

wild (orphaned): Okay so the banter/dialogue is unmatched, the relationship development bw draco and harry is soooo realistic and so delicious. a study on learning about yourself what it means to forgive

corvuscrowned's An Emerald In The Sky: stretched and pulled taut by this story, perfect longing/pining/yearning, heartbreaking and beautiful

peu_a_peu's The Superfluous Man: utterly delightful, hilarious, i want to stay in the feeling this fic gave me forever and ever. never not thinking about flustered yet domestic draco, endless quotes. An mpreg?? WHAT?? it's peu.

@stratigraphywrites' Untouched: this is delicious!!!! the push and pull between draco and harry is expert. extremely extremely hot

@lemonlimelea's we'll start anew: yeah this is wayyyy stunning, gorg writing, long time span capturing all different facets of harry and draco's relationship

@hephaestiions' It's You: one of those ones that leaves you panting and scratching the walls, crying for more.

okay if you read all this, thank you i love you. happy new year!

No pressure tagging any of the above plus @dryrsheet @its-the-allure @phoenixortheflame @smehur. would love to read about your year in review!

[frankiebirds]

i need to talk about the goalpost scene or i'll explode. tw for the sexual assault of a minor, because. that is what reid is describing here, honestly:

i tried to gif it but the scene is quite long (especially because reid is constantly pausing to compose himself :(( ) and i realised while doing it that it's hard to gif a monologue, so instead here it is in text.

REID: I was in the library and, um... Harper Hillman comes up to me, and she tells me that, uh... Alexa Lisbon wants to meet me behind the field house. Alexa Lisbon's like, easily, the prettiest girl in school. MORGAN: So what happened? Alexa wasn't there? REID: No, she was there. So was the entire football team. They... stripped me naked and tied me to a goalpost. So many kids were there, you know, just watching. MORGAN: Nobody tried to stop it? REID: I begged... I begged them to, but they just... just watched. And... finally, they got bored and they left. It was like midnight when I finally got home. And my mom had... mom was having one of her episodes, so she didn't even realize I was late. MORGAN: You never told her what happened? REID: I never told anybody. I thought... it was one of those things that I thought if I didn't talk about it, I'd just forget. But I remember it like it was yesterday. MORGAN: Oh, Reid, you don't need an eidetic memory for that. You know, we forget half of what they teach us in school, but when it comes to the torment and the people who inflicted it, we've all got an elephant's memory.

i think about this a lot and honestly it makes me feel ill. because correct me if i'm wrong, but this is sexual assault, no? like yes reid is relating to owen as someone who was also severely bullied but he's also relating to owen as someone whose bullies committed a sex crime against them

something that i think gets missed a lot—reid was at the very oldest, twelve. again, correct me if i'm wrong, but football teams are big, right? reid even says "so many kids were there". just an unnecessary amount of people to restrain a pre-teen and a horrifying amount of people capable of standing there and watching. that is some stephen king level bullying honestly. not that ""normal"" bullying would be okay, of course, but just. jesus.

the implied length of the ordeal hurts too. a few things:

"they got bored and they left" to me implies that they left without untying him. had they done so, it would have made more sense to say "they got bored and they let me go." the phrasing reid uses implies they left him there and he had to get himself free. how long would that have taken?

reid also uses the word "finally" which. yeah. you know what the word finally means

the part that hurts the most is where reid says "[my mother] didn't even realize I was late." late. not gone. as in reid didn't go home inbetween speaking to harper and going behind the field house. this wasn't a "hey alexa wants to meet you behind the field house. nine pm" and the whole ordeal is "only" three hours. at best, it was right after school let out. at worst, he left the library and went straight there. so, at best, we're looking at...what, eight hours between going behind the field house and getting home?

this all happens in nevada. specifically vegas, which, from my understanding, is surrounded by desert. if it's winter/fall, the sun goes down relatively quickly and reid spends several hours freezing (i think? wikipedia says nighttime winter temps in vegas average at 4.4C/39.2F. is that cold in that region? canadian, sorry). if it's spring/summer, the sun takes a longer time to go down and reid spends several hours in the heat. ive usually headcanoned the second but the first is equally painful. but anyway, point is: take your pick. preteen reid gets either hypothermia or heatstroke. (also part of the reason i hc it was spring or summer is because i headcanon the goal post, which would have gotten very hot in the sun, scarred him. sorry to anyone whose day i just ruined <3)

sidenote: im always a little surprised by how calmly morgan reacts in this scene. not that he has a bad reaction, or isn't visibly troubled, but given how protective of reid he is normally...the first time i watched this scene i expected him to pull out a pen and paper and ask for names. so im headcanoning that the reason he's so calm in this scene isn't because he is calm, but because he's a good friend who knows that that isn't a productive response at the moment. and then he goes back to the bau and has garcia hunt them down (without telling her why) and uh. i dont know. maybe she destroys their credit scores or something.

[dilucsfav]

have you ever made a fanfic of the reader being a dom to people who are least expected to be a sub, example is dottore since people think he's a dom or even zhongli?

NO IVE ACTUALLY NOT REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS?? well i have but never acted on such deed (no shame in the sinning game)

I had lots of fun with this! ive never written for some of these characters before so this was a challenge :) PLEASE TELL ME IF YALL WANT A FEMALE VERSION, THERE ARE SO MANY DOMMY MOMMY CHARACTERS I COULD WRITE ABT

also,,, should i do this with very sub/switch genshin men, except them being dom to the reader instead?? like for example kaeya, tighnari, xiao, childe, scara YES SCARA IS A FUCKING SWITCH DONT EVEN ARUGE WITH ME

idk y’all should let me know anyways here’s your guys’ meal of men tonight

dom reader x genshin men hcs & scenarios (ft. dottore, zhongli, cyno, alhaitham, diluc, dain, ayato)

warning(s): LOTS of nsfw,,, actually mainly that tbh LMFAO

Dottore

at first, he'd only let you toy w/ him cuz he thought it was cute and he could easily tease you about it later

but shocker... you actually end up flustering him in the process. dummy fooled himself tbh

actually he was quite surprised that you were able to suade him with your words and body language

"Oh, doctor... don't keep me waiting...!" you'd moan and cry, grab his shirt collar and yank him to your lips, teasing his throat with your thumb and giving his body glances

made his little act crack SO fast

you'd easily get some neck kisses in while he's dazed, his flustered face staring ahead as his hands hesitate to wrap around your pretty hips

bro is high key into biting?? like definitely would allow you to squeeze a hickey or 2 in

oh, youre a big sweet talker?? good, use that to your advantage cuz you could REALLY tease this harbinger through facial expressions and super good fucking persuasive language

^^the tone of your voice... mhm that's what makes him crack

his throat between your fingers and a smirk on your lips as you kiss the tall, flustered man. literally he doesnt know what to do LMAO

HE'D COVER IT UP TOO LMAO CUZ BEING VULNUERABLE IS TOO EMBARASSING FOR THIS DICK FACE

every time you try to bring it up he'd instantly deny his reaction

^^"I was not flustered. I was just allowing you to have some fun."

dw doctor daddy, we all know ur a fucking dirty lier

call him a good boy, see what he does

Zhongli

yeah so- this man probably folds so easily over you

spoiling this big baby with kisses will result in his blushing mess of a face. trust me.

"My dear Zhongli, hush. Please let me do this for you."

^^barely takes any begging from your part. he'd allow you to spoil him any day

secretly just loves it but shh you dont know that <3

every kiss and peck and hhhhh will just make his blush grow

bonus points if you include inappropriate touching

"im the geo archon" this, "im rex lapis" that...... but how about we talk about his moans when you pull his fucking hair?

(or the crack in his voice when he's begging you to do the nasty w/ him)

^^ or his whimpers when you give him hickies?? he'd ABSOLUTELY be into marking, and you cant change my whore ass mind

stop cuz when you fluster him he instantly becomes so submissive its literally so funny

he would literally convince you with his fucking noises HES SO VOCAL JUST LIKE ITTO

(actually now that i think about it, the only geo character that wouldnt be vocal would be albedo? god hes so fucking hot i need to write for him soon

you being all cute n shit is enough for his breath to be taken away. hes so so in love w/ you hhhhhhhhhh

Cyno

cyno is literally so fucking daddy he makes me-

your actions would fluster him. i dont think he'd ever admit it, or be super vocal about liking it, but he'll never try to stop you (cyno is such a manwhore i'd fuck him so fast yall dont even try me)

yall ever thought about cyno's STRONG love for riding? no? hahah,,,.............

well i fucking have.

^^he would just lay back and let you ride him omfg me next pls

^^...perhaps small thumb rubs into the side of your thigh to encourage you to keep going. only if youre lucky ofc gotta be grateful

"Ah, Cyno... gonna be a good boy for me and let me f-fuck you? Hm, mm?"

phew the reader is kinda hot idk, kinda want them to dominate me instead of cyno

OMG STOP THIS ISNT NSFW OR ANYTHING BUT HE'D GET SO FLUSTERED N HAPPY IF YOU LAUGH AT HIS SHITTY FUCKING JOKES. HE'D BLUSH AND GET ALL NERVOUS AND HAPPY HELP

(this is random, has nothing to do with the fucking hcs, but yall seen that tighnari x cyno nsfw drawing on twitter where kaveh spends the night w/ them and tighnari is riding cynos dick with kaveh trying to sleep next to them? and kaveh is like "i wanna go home..." no? just me? k.)

would probably get flustered if you two are making out and you use tongue. idk cynos a little silly. definitely weird ass would let you spit and lick all over him and he’d thank you, what a manwhore

Alhaitham

who wouldve ever imagined a submissive haitham? not me for sure

he'd literally gasp when youre being dominant and teasing his pretty cock

chokes on his words. he'd probably let you choke him with a necklace, collar, or just something around his neck that you could pull

oh you thought i was joking? no.

"be a good boy, now, Haitham. only good boys get rewards. Do you think you deserve it?"

^^as you’re pulling the bidings against his neck

ok personally alhaitham isnt my type, but if ur taking submissive alhaitham...?... i may. MAY. SLIGHTLY jog for him

jokes on him, you'd get a such a rise and pleasure from his submissive ass

unfortunately... we have yet another victim of the big tiddy game. he'd totally want you to touch all over his man titties

^^not even just the boobs, he turns into an absolute slut when you praise his body

trace your fingers all over his abs and watch him get off so fast LMAO

when i die, i hope i dont get to the gates of heaven and get dragged down to hell cuz i like writing about silly little submissive men getting hard

I FEEL LIKE HE ALSO JUST WOULDNT KNOW WHAT TO DO?? SO WHILE YOURE DOING YOUR THING N SHIT HE’D KINDA JUST STARE AT YOU? flustered haitham at a loss for words, how cute 💔💔

hear me out hear me out. he’d praise you sm but in like a “please keep going im gonna cum” submissive type of way? you know what i mean?

ngh imagine his face getting all pathetic and weak god ngh im no slut for alhaitham but god

Diluc

I LOVE YOU DILUC, PLEASE LET ME CALL YOU MY GOOD BOY AND MY DARKNIGHT HERO AND ALL THAT CORNY SHIT

anyways

i rarely see any sub diluc fics i need to fix that soon BUT ANYWAYS

when hes being bossed around by you he'd become such a whore but in such a respectful way

HE'D ABSOLUTELY SAY "yes sir/ma'am" when youre the dom GOODDDKDKDD

he' take your wrists whilst he’s on his knees, staring up at you, waiting patiently for you to command him

im drooling as im writing these for diluc btw btw

he's not really used to such attitude but he wont question it in the moment CUZ HE LOVES THE ATTENTION

hear me out, HEAR ME OUT.

^^^ ….ive always headcanoned this, but diluc is definitely NOT a dirty talker (i strongly believe this fight me) or tbh i don’t think he’s that good of a talker during sex either way

^^^ but hear me out. imagine he’s like fucking you, but your fingers are holding the back of his ponytail to keep his face jerked forward, where your lips are just touching his ear lobe while you praise him and whisper sweet nothings into his ear?

ARE YOU FUCKING LISTENING ARE YOU HEARING ME OUT, DONT TELL ME HE WOULDNT FOLD AND GET FLUSTERED FROM PRAISE

“Mmm, oh s-so good for me! Keep it going, ahh, just like that. That’s my Diluc.”

drooling sweating crying sobbing and

i think he’d totally be down bad for some soft dom… like you praising him, commanding him and being rough with him, but at the same time so lovingly and gently?? yes pls hes totally down

Dainsleif

y’all dain simps are some other type of down bad fr (that’s a good thing i promise)

absolutely another victim of loving riding. absolutely. HE’D BE A BOTTOM SO FAST IF THAT MEANT HE WAS ABOUT TO BE RODE FR

dain would whimper. im literally so right

this has nothing to do with him being submissive but why the hell would he sweat so fucking much during sex? idk i love dain but he looks so musty IM SORRY IT HAD TO BE SAID

not trying to dain slander im sorry im just nervous ive never written for him b4💔💔

call him a bad boy and naughty and tease him just a bit and he’ll fold

honestly i think teasing him just would make him so antsy, so on edge, so desperate and impatient, he would just get all whiney and flustered and such a manwhore

HES THE FUCKING DEFINITION OF MANWHORE LETS BE HONEST HERE

push him against the mattress, maybe even yank his hair a little and tell him he’s a piece of shit that needs to beg for attention and to be kissed by your gorgeous lips

stop if you gave him a blowjob and tease him until he can’t take it just imagine tears staining his cheeks while he’s begging you to give him a break

HE WOULD CALL YOU MOMMY/DADDY. HE ABSOLUTELY WOULD YOU LITERALLY CANNOT CHANGE MY MIND IDFC

he’d curse from overstimulation, prolly screaming “shit” 80 million times and “fuck” every time you chuckle or smirk at his desperate ass

“Oh, you want me to stop? When you begged and pleaded me to touch you badly, Dain?”

^^ i can imagine you listened and stopped, but then he’d get sad and beg for it again LMAO

such a mess for you and wouldn’t try hiding it tbh

Ayato

okay im actually so excited to write for him, ive never written for ayato but i’m not really into ayato im sorry guys (i like his sister though)

It kinda startled him a bit when your fingers grazed his chest and you pinned him against a wall—

would actually kinda fight it at first?? but he also wouldn’t after a while cuz he looks down on everybody and thinks he’s better than everybody else LMFAO live laugh love ayato

anyways,,, when you’ve got him between your fingertips, instantly you become royalty to him.

you are called either ma’am/sir, or you’re called my lady/prince/your majesty

^^or some shit like that idfk ayato’s fucking wild as hell

hear me out… ayato’s absolutely, 100%, definitely, into sucking your fingers

just imagine you’re going to town on his dick and you shove your fingers down his throat to make him stop crying so fucking loud

god and he’s totally into it pls— sucking on your fingers so good so that he’s quiet just for you🙏

“Hush up, Ayato. You don’t want Thoma to hear you when you’re this vulnerable to me, do you?”

bro would gag and cry and grip your body and and

he’d so rough, dirty, submissive, but just like diluc, in a respectful way

imagine brushing your thumb on his beauty marks and the little moles he has— his heart would skip a beat

dw, you and ayato wouldn’t have to worry abt bothering anybody cuz im fucking thoma in the next room

[pink-pavlove]

Big fucking spoilers babe

Okay I need to dump. I’m actually gagged Rosie is holding alastors leash. Like GAGGED! I would have never guessed in a million years. Rosie x alastor friendship has been popular in the fandom, ive seen it in so many fics and fanarts. Although when i first watched the series i thought the relationship between them was more of a friendship of convenience and mutual interest (cannibalism, power, murder) more than it was that they actually enjoyed each others company. That being said i still would have never guessed she was such an important character. Now that im over the initial shock lol, im pleasantly surprised.

Alastors backstory. First of all the way it’s presented to us; Alastor going to ask a favor from Rosie and being bitchy about it; is *chefs kiss*. I can’t tell you how much I love seeing this side of al. He’s vulnerable in a way I didn’t expect to see but also stays true to himself trying to smooze or intimidate to get what he wants. Love that for him! I loved his human version. Idc what ppl say about the mustache, *captain holt voice* “that mustache was ERA APPROPRIATE!!”

Oh no, he’s hot! Maybe it’s just cuz his voice doesn’t have the staticy overtone anymore (or maybe it’s cuz he just sounds angry) but his voice is HOT. Human al is a maniacal hottie and I will not apologize for saying it!!!

When Rosie laughs about him getting shot and killed the day after making their bond, and he goes “oh hahahahHaHHAHAHAHAHA! Yesssss… SO! funny…” all sarcastically???? Babe… I’m done. His character is so naturally hilarious they don’t even have to do too much with him.

I’m so excited to see more Vox this season. I love him deerly (haha… ha?) Him absolutely trashing the hotel and making Charlie’s life hell is a great plot point and I honestly want to see it the most. Besides a few quick glimpses of him, there was a storyboard with al and angel dust tied up, apparently Vox kidnapped them. 🥵 girl I’m too twisted to think normally about that. I’ll just leave that one alone….

All the scenes of heaven made me SO MAD!! I hate them fr. Tbh it’s such a great and intelligent commentary on our society and how we treat people we deem worthy/unworthy, (An arbitrary concept that is based in opinion not fact) and how we often let our emotions get the better of us. The way they immediately assume sir pentious forced his way into heaven, that it’s a “trick”. They refuse to acknowledge or even consider that their way of thinking, the things they have been doing, the beliefs they’ve based their society on, might be wrong. They would rather make it almost impossible for new souls (worthy or not) to enter heaven out of fear. Fear that the people they’ve oppressed and abused might fight back, and fear that there actually might be consequences to their actions (if one can be redeemed, than it would be right to assume one can also fall (they even have an example that this is already true, Lucifer!)). It’s disgusting to watch them act this way, but only because it’s so REAL! This is really how people are and it just confirms the theory that the people in heaven aren’t that different than those in hell.

I think all this backs my personal theory that people don’t end up in heaven or hell because of what they’ve done in life, but instead they end up where they THINK they belong. Sir pentious went to hell because he never forgave himself for not coming forward when he should have; for not saving people when he had the chance. So when he did have the chance to save his friends, and he acted on it selflessly, he in his mind believed he had atoned for his past mistakes. Therefore! Landing him in heaven, redeemed.

Further solidifying my theory, he hates it in heaven! I fully believe people end up in hell most of the time simply because they would have more fun there than in heaven! Heaven lowkey sucks. Having to hangout with LUTE? Or stupid fucking ADAM?? Yeah, no, fuck them! Heaven might be nice, but no drugs? No porn? Yeah I’d perfer hell too 😅🤭

Lucifer being a guest at the hotel is also an interesting addition I didn’t expect. The dynamic of the show seems much different than the first season, definitely more intense imo. Didn’t see much or any of angel or husk, (I think there’s a leaked Angel song somewhere but I haven’t found it yet) although I caught a glimpse of cherri bomb curled next to Angel on the couch and I’m really hoping that means we get to see more of her!

Anywaysssss I’m off to look for more spoilers, I’m finding all of the leaks on tiktok btw! I wanna hear you vent so come talk to me about it in the comments or dms 🫶

[kumezyzo]

ooo could you write something where y/n and sap have been dating for a while and maybe it’s a bit angsty bc y/n wants everyone to know they’re dating but sap is scared ( or the other way around) of telling people so maybe they have an argument but then he does the cutest n sweetest reveal post ever

if i’m making sense

i feel like this trope is sometimes overused and done incredibly wrong, but i think I've done it justice. thank you so much for requesting 🥰🥰

anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list

bf!sapnap wanted it to be known that you were dating. that you were his, and he was yours. it was a no-brainer for him. he wanted to he able to kiss you in public, let alone go out with you. he wanted to stream with you and show off how amazing you are. but you just weren't ready yet.

you were so sure people would be angry to know he was dating someone rather than be happy you were a good person. you'd heard way too many stories, seen too many situations to think you'd be welcomed with open arms.

and bf!sapnap tried to respect that. but after a few months, it was too much. he wanted to go on dates with you.

"baby?" he asked you softly. you hummed in acknowledgment, looking up from your laptop momentarily. "i wanna tell people about you."

you stopped your movements and looked over to your boyfriend. he looked nervous. and rightfully so. you had been shutting down the idea for the past couple of months.

"nick... we've talked about this..." you told him softly, feeling your heart break at the way his shoulders seemed to droop. he nodded and ran a hand over his face, frustrated.

"i dont give a shit what people think! i just want to be able to leave the house with my girlfriend!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms up in defeat.

"well, i do," you told him incredulously. "i mean, i would get shit on so quickly. a-and not to mention if we went out, it wouldn’t really be peaceful."

"so you don't want to tell people because youre scared?" he crossed his arms.

"yes," you sat up, pushing your laptop off to the side. "im scared. ive never been in the eye of the public and this fandom you have? its fucking crazy."

"but i want to tell them about you. you're my life. and i want to share that with them," he told you simply. as if it could be that simple for you too. "and if they don't like you, i won't care. I'll just tell them all to fuck off."

you let out an amused scoff, "you'll tell them to fuck off?"

"mhm."

"and what else?" you asked, completely amused by the simplicity of his solutions.

"I'll ban all of them," he huffed.

"all of them?"

"yup, all of them. even if theres no one left watching me, i know you'll still be there," he said softly. he stepped closer to you. "and they'll all be gone, knowing that im happy with my girl. and when they see us out on dates, they can fuck right off.

you but your lip, trying to hide your smile. he felt his heart warm at the sight. he already knew your answer.

bf!sapnap who, as soon as you give him the green light, posted a picture of you two to his instagram.

the picture was a selfie of you two. your face was squished up against his and big grins on both of your faces.

you two were just hanging out that day, laying in bed together, and feel particularly cuddly. you remember wanting to be as close to him as possible when you took the picture. and that was the result.

he captioned it with "whos that really hot guy next to my gf???"

bf!sapnap who went through the comments and all the tweets with you, feeling content with all the nice comments flooding through and with the smile on your face.

in the words of an amazing poet: yeet, yeet, skert, yeet yeet, skirt, skirt, skirt. roll up. drop that. skirt that. pop that-

im sorry, i dont know what came over me.... -nony

[deedala]

☀️ weekly 🌴 tag 🌴 wednesday 🌊

hello it is thursday!! not wednesday, alas, we persist. big thanks to a one lil miss ✨🌟🌙 @celestialmickey ✨🌟🌙 !!!! for writing this weeks game and for tagging me!! + @gallapiech @blue-disco-lights @heymrspatel @jrooc @mmmichyyy @too-schoolforcool @lingy910y @crossmydna @energievie @palepinkgoat 💖💖💖

name: deanna 🌱

pronouns: she/her

what year did you graduate high school? lets play a game actually, what do you think? did i graduate in 1998, 2002, or 2006?

tell me where you live without *telling* me where you live: woody harrelson and i know the same amusement park like the back of our respective hands

tell me what you do for work: digital coloring book

caffeine source of choice: brew my own hot coffee in which i pour oatmilk and french vanilla dairy-free creamer

do you have a skincare routine? super sensitive skin, had to do accutane in my 20s *and* back in 2019. dermatologist has me on a very strict routine of gentle salicylic acid facewash and oil-free fragrance-free sensitive-skin formulated facial moisturizer. nothing else allowed!!

how often do you do laundry? every single fucking day of life and if i dont i will be overcome and i will suffer

favorite flower: poppies!! (iykyk) but dandelions are a close second

your go-to karaoke song: i've never gotten to do karaoake for reals but i think it would be an absolute blast (and hysterically cringey) to sing wuthering heights by kate bush!!

what kind of phone do you have? mint green iphone 12

do you wear contacts/glasses? i wear a single contact lens because i had to have a bunch of surgery in my left eye in my 20s and one of them involved replacing my lens with an implant (hi im bionic, i have a serial number) that is a corrective lens giving me 20/20 vision (apart from the blind spots where my retina is destroyed) SOOOO i literally can only wear that one contact lens in my right eye to fix my (extremely bad) vision on that side. glasses dont work when you've got 20/20 in one eyeball and -7.25 in the other.

what color is your hair right now? its a 10

you’ve just been handed $10,000 cash, what are you spending it on? theres a lot of shit in my house that needs to be fixed. or maybe we can use it as a down payment for buying a new house? (probably not the market is so insane in my city because of the university and the landlords) but i guess...in fantasy world where this happens...yeah we use it to help ourselves buy a new house lol.

how many pets do you have? none

have you ever been on a train? many many trains! some in america, most of them in europe

and finally, tell me something about yourself people might be surprised to know: god im so uninteresting... i love olives and pickles and cilantro and mint but not garlic and i cannot taste spicy things (i deeply wish i could, ive tried so many times and all i get is like bitter charcoal numb tongue)

and now i'll tag some folks under the cut who maybe?? havent played yet?? maybe want to play????? if not consider this me handing you a dandelion + poppy 💐 under the cut!!

@darlingian @spookygingerr @mybrainismelted @creepkinginc @suzy-queued

@sleepyheadgallavich @thepupperino @iansw0rld @gardenerian @ardent-fox

@catgrassplantdad @whatwouldmickeydo @gallawitchxx @wehangout @captainjowl

@the-rat-wins @loftec @spoonfulstar @callivich @sam-loves-seb

@howlinchickhowl @rereadanon @softmick @burninface @sickness-health-all-that-shit

@sleepyfacetoughguy @transmickey @lee-ow @themarchg1rl @vintagelacerosette

@xninetiestrendx @michellemisfit @steorie @samantitheos

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[spnregular]

also do breeding kink fic :3

like they do on the discovery channel is the second fic i wrote for the fandom and is my single most popular fic for spn! im very flattered by the response i've gotten on it and was honestly soooo surprised that it was so well received. i mean there are so many amazing writers in this fandom that i never thought i would be noticed like this lol. ive posted the whole fic here under the cut, unlike my other commentaries, because it is fun and it's short (like 3.5k words)

I wrote this post-tonsillectomy so i was essentially on lean for two weeks. I got the idea for it when i was waking up one day, in a haze of pain and dehydration “cas should… cas should get dean pegant… or at least get to try…”

Cas was always shutting Dean up in bed. He didn’t even need any gags or sexy rules to do it. Fuck, he didn’t even need to tell Dean to shut up. No, Cas knew what to say to turn all of Dean’s casual flirtation, all of his showiest and cheesiest lines, into long, drawn-out moans and soft whimpers. Cas could have Dean gasping and unable to talk for hours without even trying.

“You’re so beautiful, Dean.”

“I’d fight my way through hell again and again for this.”

“I’ve never met anyone, anything, like you, in all my eons of life and death.”

“You’re such a good boy.”

“You’re mine.”

Cas knew how to take care of Dean. Through push and pull– long nights, hard talks, and soft touches– they came to understand how to tease pleasure from their bodies, leaving them both crying out and rent asunder.

Dean was no slouch. He knew that Cas liked it when he blushed, when he gave in. It was hard at first, really hard. But the look on Cas’s face every time Dean relaxed into a touch, when Dean let the soft thing between them flourish and unfurl? Not to mention the butterflies in his stomach, or the blush that would creep up his chest with every word. It was so worth it. So, Dean sucked it up and let Cas be sweet on him. Dean could think of a couple of things worse than having a sweet-talking angel in his bed, night after night. 

The thing was, the guy was always battin’ a hundred and there was nothing Dean could do about it. Even when Cas was off his game, saying some weird shit, Dean kinda got off on it. Dean knew that Cas didn’t expect anything back, he just wanted Dean comfortable in their bed and in his arms. But sometimes– sometimes Dean wondered if he could do that for Cas, too. Make him feel special, get him hot and dumb crazy. 

So this is sort of my response to most destiel fic being made after 2020. Im a deangirl, i eat this shit up and i do believe that cas is doing all this (the praise kink, the service topping) for dean in a post canon world. BUT… i think dean would want to return the favor. Dean likes knowing that he can make people happy, he likes to please. I think Dean would start feeling some kinda way if he couldnt give it back.

Tonight was nothing special– middle of the week, still before 9PM, meaning they would have time to catch the late night M*A*S*H reruns. Sam and Eileen were out on a hunt, Jack was off doing Heaven shit, and Cas was buried to the hilt into Dean’s ass, the both of them splayed out on their bed.

Dean had a leg thrown over Cas’s shoulder and one curled around his waist. Cas’s face was buried into Dean’s collar bone, nipping and biting, exactly how Dean liked it. His arms and hands— Christ, his fucking hands— were wrapped around Dean so softly, so tenderly. Like Dean wasn’t some six-foot, killing-machine. Like Dean was something worth caring for. Dean’s stomach swooped hard when their eyes locked and he saw Cas thinking exactly that. Those otherworldly blue eyes, unguarded and hooded with lust, dazed with admiration. Dean bit his lip and squeezed his thighs around Cas, causing those same eyes to flutter shut in unabashed pleasure. 

“Dean,” Cas gasped his name as though it were an exalted prayer, “Dean, you feel so good. So good, for me.”

How the fuck was Dean supposed to keep up with that?

W-when destiel is i-in luv……… !!!

Dean moaned and turned his face away to mouth at Cas’s wrist. He screwed his eyes shut and focused on the feeling of the connection between their bodies, the slick friction of Cas fucking into him hard. On each thrust, Dean let out a grunt or groan, unable to keep any of it in. It felt like Cas was trying to do more than just fuck Dean, like he was trying to—

“Oh, fuck, C-Cas,” Dean choked out, “You tryna knock me up, pal?”

Cas gasped– his hips stuttering, losing their fine tuned rhythm. 

So you know how cas just doesnt expect that he gets to be happy? Well he’s REALLY not expecting dean to just randomly guess the horny nuclear codes to his brain.

“Cas?” Dean asked, blearily, blinking his eyes open slowly. Cas was breathing hard over him, his sides expanding wide with each breath, like great wings flapping slow.

Cas moaned, his eyes heavily hooded, hips still grinding deep into Dean. 

He gathered Dean in his arms, pulling as far as Dean’s hips would allow. Cas bit down gently into the crook of Dean’s neck and groaned. Dean’s stomach swooped low and he hissed in pleasure from the feeling of Cas’s teeth grazing against him like a promise. 

Cas pulled Dean up to his chest, holding Dean up against the headboard. Dean braced his arms against it, though he knew Cas could handle him. Every muscle in Cas’s body seemed taut, poised and directed to the one purpose of fucking Dean. Dean licked and bit his lip, trying to dampen the need and want to lick every long line on Cas’s neck, his chest. Cas practically snarled at him, pushing Dean hard against the headboard and crushing his lips in a sloppy kiss, biting and licking. Dean gasped into his mouth, from pain and pleasure, his eyes almost crossing. Cas was relentless. 

When Dean’s eye refocused, the look on Cas’s face threatened to take his breath away all over again. His face shone with sweat in the low lamp light and his mouth hung open, color high on his cheeks. But his eyes– his eyes were focused on Dean, unwavering, cataloging every move Dean made, every twitch of his body. When their eyes met fully, Dean’s heart threatened to pound out of his chest. 

“Angel,” Dean rasped out and moaned, a smile and spit scrawled all over his face, “You seem… kinda excited.” A real pot and kettle moment— Dean’s dick hadn’t been this hard in a decade.

So ive said this before i love when cas loses control over dean. I love that dean is his special brain button. AND i am first and foremost a monster fucker, so i like when cas is clearly not human and has an inhuman appetite for all things Dean Winchester. Also, dean dick issues moment.

Somehow, Cas’s face turned even redder, his blush bleeding down onto his heaving chest. Cas groaned again into Dean’s shoulder and thrust into Dean with such fervor that Dean threw his head back, almost painfully into the wall. Cas kept going, his hips bucking erratically like he couldn’t help himself. He placed one hand on Dean’s hip and squeezed hard— Dean knew there’d be a bruise tomorrow.

This felt new.

So i love reading kinky shit abt destiel but man do i think they are wont to fall into the rhythm of one two three fingers cock. Mostly bc dean (while a cnc queen) honestly kinda likes it. He likes the familiarity of getting dicked down by someone he actually wants to want him. Not to call dean vanilla bc he isnt, but he is a creature of comfort. So when he accidentally sets off something new it’s noticeable. 

“That a yes?” Dean smiled and asked, his hand coming up to run through the sweaty hair on the nape of Cas’s neck, “You like that idea? You wanna knock me up?”

Dean’s chest heaved against Cas, feeling Cas’s loud moan more than hearing it– their bodies were so, so hot, so slick everywhere they touched. Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, hands trailing up and down Cas’s spine. He rolled his hips down onto Cas’s dick, spurring Cas further into action.

Dean grunted, trying to even out his breathing. He wanted to see where this would go, see exactly what this was doing to Cas, shame be damned. He whispered hot and heavy into Cas’s ear, “C’mon, angel, you wanna fill me up?”

Dean is eager to please here and yeah he’s letting horny brain win over.

Cas made a choked noise and pressed his nose hard into Dean’s neck and inhaled. Dean let a shiver roll through him at the feeling of Cas’s breath on his neck. Cas’s thrusts picked up speed, heady intention building up faster and faster.

“Dean,” Cas rasped, “C-Can I, Dean?” His voice was so tight, so low. 

Dean nipped at Cas’s ear, “You want to?”

Dean pulled back to run his nose along Cas’s, relishing the feeling of their mixed breath. Cas breathed hot against him and nodded fast.

Dean’s eyes widened when Cas pulled back to look at him. His fucking eyes— they were focused, pupils blown… They were fucking glowing. 

“Cas?” Dean licked his lips, his own eyes wide with shock.

Cas’s eyes locked onto Dean’s tongue and from there they were both lost.

Horny monster brain take over… while im writing this commentary im sort of thinking about how angel possession only requires one instance of consent and then you’re kinda locked into it…. Makes u think…! 

Cas claimed Dean’s mouth again, his tongue thrust so far into Dean’s mouth. Dean’s eyes rolled back into his head and all he knew was Cas’s hot mouth and big hands. Dean moaned into the feeling, letting it wash over him, slow and warm like liquor, when Cas pulled out of him abruptly.

“H-h—“ Dean didn’t get a word out until he was being manhandled face down into the bed, hips aloft to present, dick dripping and hanging under him. Cas fell into place over him so fast, Dean barely had time to mourn the loss of his presence.

Cas growled as he bit the shell of Dean’s ear gently, his hand running down the cleft of Dean’s ass. Dean was so loose—they were just fucking so hard— he wasn’t sure where Cas was going with this. Nonetheless, Dean hummed in satisfaction when Cas stuck his fingers deep in Dean, pumping fast. Dean could still feel Cas’s dick, hard against his ass, rubbing as Cas rutted into him. Dean whined and canted his hips even higher, clearly letting Cas know what he wanted. 

Cas panted in Dean’s ear, pushing Dean’s hips back down. He braced his forehead against Dean’s shoulder and pulled his fingers out to spread Dean’s ass wide. Dean balled his fists into the sheets of the bed, biting back what would have been an embarrassing sound. Some good it did him— he still moaned like a fuckin’ girl when Cas slid back into him, fast and easy and big.

Dean is always moaning like a girl when cas fucks him good btw. He can have a diff gender in bed, as a treat. 

Cas moved quickly, thrusting in and out of Dean like the rent was due. Cas hooked one forearm around Dean’s chest, his hand splayed across Dean’s collar bones, almost possessive of his neck; the other hand gripped Dean’s waist, holding Dean so firmly in place. Dean was at a loss— there was no keeping up at this point, no moving, no fucking back. Just a question lingering in the back of Dean’s mind.

“You gonna breed me, sweetheart?” Dean asked. He knew the answer but he wanted to feel it, wanted it dragged out of Cas until the guy couldn’t do anything else.

Obsessed with his angel… I think it’s fun when Dean gets to control Cas. Dean also likes it, he likes being the one to steer Cas. And (I think it was in Then Comes the Rain, “the angel likes a direct order”) Cas likes it when Dean directs him. Even in this state of lost in the deanpussy sauce, he’s doing what dean is goading him into and it’s wild, it’s crazy.

Cas fucking snarled behind him and fucked into Dean even harder. Dean gasped and winced. How was Cas so big? It’s never felt like this before. Sure Cas was big, a fact which Dean was consistently grateful for, but this? This felt unreal, like some cartoon porn shit.

Cas squeezed Dean’s hip so rough, adjusting Dean against his thighs and wrapping one of his hands around Dean’s neglected dick. The other pinched at Dean’s chest, teasing even after Dean hissed, long and loud, from overstimulation. Cas was doing so much, all at once. Dean didn’t know what he was feeling anymore, each sensation bleeding into the other, all of it so Cas. He tried to focus on how Cas’s hand pumped him fast, rough and hard on his dick, the hand on his red and swollen nipples. His hole was stretched so wide and he felt so full, Cas hitting right where Dean wanted over and over again. Dean was moaning, mouth hung open, spit falling from his lips. Each pump, each thrust threatening to make Dean overflow.  

Dean felt like he was being cleft in half and he, honestly, did not give a shit. Cas had never felt so big, so strong before. The guy was three inches shorter than Dean, but in that moment, he might as well have been the fucking Chrysler building. 

“Cas, baby, fuckin’ do it,” Dean was honest to god babbling, “Knock me up, sweetheart, give it to me. Give it to me hard.” Dean kept talking through it, through the moaning, the hard pounding. Cas pushed Dean’s face into the bed and folded himself over, keeping their bodies flush against each other. Dean’s hands were scrabbling behind him, clawing at any part of Cas he could reach, hairy muscled thighs, corded arms, thick neck. He settled for reaching back and knotting a hand in Cas’s hair, curled from sweat. 

“Harder, Cas,” Dean panted, his voice muffled by the pillow on one side and the wide span of Cas’s hand on the other. It hurt a little now, they probably needed more lube, but it was too good. Dean couldn’t believe any of it: this shit coming out of his own mouth or the way it seemed to drive Cas nuts, “Knock me up, I wanna have your babies, do it, do it.”

Does dean think about being pregnant sometimes? Does he think about Cas getting him pregnant while theyre fucking? Haha well. Hits you with my gender beam. 

Cas’s hand on Dean’s dick worked faster, his wrist twisting how Dean liked, and Cas’s teeth came down hard Dean’s delts. Dean shouted loud from the dual feeling, knowing the trickle down his shoulder wasn’t sweat. He came all over Cas’s hand and the bed below them with a shout.

Cas pushed Dean’s face further into the pillow, still plowing into him hard. Dean couldn’t talk like this, choosing to make do and moan through the lingering effects of his orgasm into the pillow. He turned his head to the side and caught Cas’s gaze, eyes still glowing, and groaned.

Cas’s eyes were so heavily hooded and his mouth hung open. He was close— they’d been doing this often enough that Dean knew when he was close, even like this. Dean moaned at the sight of him, his flaccid dick twitching in interest. Flushed skin, glowing eyes rolling back into his head, all control gone, gone, gone. He wasn’t twenty anymore, but he also wasn’t immune to the sight and feel of the sex-crazed angel he was in love with. Didn’t help that Cas was still fucking into him at an angle that had tears beading in his eyes.

Dean moaned Cas’s name when Cas came, feeling him stiffen and shake. Cas’s arms came around Dean so tight and whispered Dean’s name so soft. Dean blushed as Cas collapsed onto him, Cas nuzzling into Dean’s neck, whispering in Enochian.

Two things i like in porn: soft dicks floppin around and knowing when your partner comes. The soft dick is, well, this is dean whiskey dick winchester. It doesnt always work but also… dean is okay with that… And the knowing when Cas comes thing is just schmoopy romantic stuff. :) destiel in love…

Cas rolled his hips slowly, experimentally, a few times, as they sank onto their sides into the bed, sighing and breathing heavily. Dean couldn’t believe the noises still coming out of him as Cas did so, his body still rocking in time with Cas. He felt Cas’s come leaking out of him, squelching with each little movement from either of them. Cas threaded their fingers together and brought one of Dean’s hands back to his lips, still whispering in Enochian, kissing each digit lightly.

“You, uh,” Dean gasped out, blinking the tears from his eyes, “You gonna share with the class?”

“Hm?” Cas didn’t seem to notice, his attention focused on pressing kisses into Dean’s hand and the back of Dean’s neck.

Dean shivered, “What’cha talkin’ about?”

“You.”

Dean rolled his eyes and huffed, his face heated, “Alright, well. You wanna at least tell me what that was all about?”

“What, Dean?”

“You hulkin’ out on me? What I was sayin’, seemed to really get you going,” Dean asked, turning his head back to Cas. He couldn’t seem to turn all the way around. Cas was still hard inside him, “I mean it was hot as all hell but, uh…”

“Yes, Dean?” Did Cas sound… unsure?

“Are you still packin’ heat back there, man?” Dean asked. He still felt so full and Cas’s length was so hot inside him. The feeling made his mouth water though he knew he needed to rest.

“I, uhm, yes, Dean,” Cas said. 

So this is something that cas thought would never come up, like you couldnt have tortured this fantasy out of him. But of course, dean’s gotta know everything, ur not supposed to keep stuff from him!!!

Dean’s mouth suddenly went dry and his dick twitched again. He breathed through his nose twice before responding, “Explain it to me like I’m stupid, man. You fuckin’ me again? I gotta warn you, I’m not gonna be the most exciting lay without some water and a little somethin’ to eat.”

“Dean, you would always be the most exciting—“

“Cas.”

Cas sighed, “I didn’t think it was possible in this vessel, in my current state, but what you said, I’ve thought about more than a few times and it was sort of unexpected—“

“You liked the knockin’ me up stuff, huh?” Dean asked, a smirk painted all over his face, “You think about it?”

Dean feeling like he’s just gotten a good grade in sex, he’s very normal

Dean felt Cas’s sigh more than he heard it, “Yes.”

“Well, why do you pull out and we can talk about it?” 

This wouldnt be kink negotiation btw this would just be dean putting cas under a microscope for a second

“I— I can’t do that, yet,” Cas said.

“Excuse me?” Dean asked and attempted to roll his hips off Cas. When met with resistance, they both hissed and moaned, over sensitive. Dean settled back against Cas in resignation, confusion tightening his body, “Cas, buddy, you know I’m ride or die, but I’m gonna need to know what’s going on here.”

“The idea of impregnating you,” Cas began slowly, “While not something feasible, I find highly stimulating.”

Dean waited for him to continue. When it seemed no response was forthcoming, he pressed, “And?”

Cas huffed behind him, “And, being presented with the idea mid-coitus, prompted an unexpected, angelic physiological response, causing the base of my penis to swell.”

“J-Just the base?”

“Yes,” Cas said, “Like… a knot.”

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Dean muttered under his breath. His skin was starting to itch from his drying sweat, “So, uh, how long is this gonna take?”

“Given that we lay still, it should recede within minutes.”

“Lay still?” Dean asked, “You mean if I move, this thing will keep going? Like forever?”

“I do have some physical limitations, Dean,” Cas said, “The longest I’ve heard it lasting was at most a few days. If Balthazar is to be believed, that is.”

In my perfect world balthazar is back and sucking and fucking with the best of them…

“Days?” Dean choked.

“Don’t worry, Dean,” Cas said, rubbing his arm, “Using my grace, it shouldn’t be long.”

“‘Kay,” Dean said. It wasn’t so bad, he supposed– still feeling full of Cas, Cas’s body pressed flush against him, his fingers trailing meandering lines up and down his arm. He leaned back into the touch, the action causing their hips to move slightly. Cas hissed behind him. 

It wasnt so bad… me when i lie… this is the best for dean. Cas is literally attached to him!!! Cannot leave!!! Yippee, wahoo!!

“Dean,” Cas breathed out, “Please.”

“Oh, sorry,” Dean said, stilling in Cas’s arms. They lay together breathing slowly, legs tangled and Cas’s breath on Dean’s neck, “It was really hot, though.”

“Hm?”

“You kinda lost it, Cas,” Dean huffed out a laugh, “I dunno, you’re always so smooth. It was kinda nice to see you… let loose.”

Cas pressed a kiss to Dean’s shoulder, “I’m glad you were able to derive pleasure from my lack of control.”

“I can’t see your face right now, man, but you better not be having a pity party while you’re still balls deep in my ass,” Dean said, “I’d wanna do it again. Maybe with a little more lube, though.”

Cas’s arms tightened around him, “That is reassuring.”

Another moment.

“So,” Dean said, trying hard to keep it casual, “You got baby rabies or something?”

“Baby rabies?”

“You wanna have another kid?” Dean explained.

“Oh,” Cas replied, “No, Dean, I am quite happy with our family structure as it is.”

Dean let the warm feeling of Cas saying ‘our family’ wash over him before responding, “So, the knockin’ me up stuff that’s just… for fun?”

Housewife dean… also hearing that cas is like “fine” with everything that went down is such a balm for dean lol, there is no war in ba sing se u kno….

Cas paused, “Yes.”

“That’s kinda kinky, Cas,” Dean smiled, his eyebrows raised, “And you think about it?”

“I like the idea of,” Cas paused again, “Laying claim to you. From the inside.”

Dean flushed and his dick twitched, “Yeah?”

“The idea of you carrying a fetus I sired,” Cas whispered into Dean’s neck, right over the bite mark, “The way it would grow and people would know that I’d had you, like this.” His breath grew heavier, his hand trailed up Dean’s arm to touch the base of his jaw, “Arouses me.”

Dean shuddered, his back arching slightly, “Yeah, yeah.” There was no way he was getting hard again, not so soon, but hell if what Cas was saying didn’t sound compelling.

The thing abt destiel is that they both like to be Owned and to Own. A mutual marker of ownership or partnership is so sexy to them.

Suddenly, Cas pulled out. They gasped in unison from the dry pull of it, Dean wincing and gasping. Cas kissed an apology into his shoulder and raised his hand, presumably to grace away the evidence of their night. Dean grabbed Cas’s hand fast.

“Wait, uh,” Dean swallowed. Fuck, he really did need water, “How’s that bite lookin’?”

“It is… very deep, Dean,” Cas said, “I’m very sorry, allow me to heal it.”

It felt deep. And it ached. Throbbed even. 

“No, that’s, that’s okay,” Dean said and turned over to face Cas, pressing a kiss to the side of his mouth, “I like it.”

Theyre gonna stare at that nasty bruised thing for hours btw.

Cas’s nose flared and his eyes darkened. He moved in fast to kiss Dean,  his hands coming up to cradle Dean’s head. Cas kissed him long and slow, teasing Dean��s lower lip between his teeth, sliding his tongue so far inside. Dean moaned into the kiss and breathed hard through his nose, powerless against the feel of Cas’s mouth. 

When they broke apart, Dean watched as Cas’s eyes raked over him, eyes lingering on the bite mark. He smiled and tapped Cas’s thigh.

“Alright well, you can at least grace clean us up,” Dean said, “I’m like sore, dude, you really got deep in there. Leave the bite.”

Cas’s expression turned downright smug before he waved his hand, cleaning them up in an instant. Relief came over Dean sweet and easy, like it always did when they were like this. What followed was soft touches, quick kisses and whispers, and feelings pouring out of them.

“C’mon,” Dean pulled away, “I wanna catch at least one episode before we try again.”

“Try again?” A line appeared between Cas’s brows.

“Yeah, man,” Dean smirked as he rose from the bed to reach for his robe, “I don’t think baby making always happens on the first try. Gotta keep at it.” He winked as Cas swallowed heavily, blue eyes wide.

They don’t make it through the episode. 

In my mind, they fall asleep on the couch with Cas’s knot still in dean bc WHY would they separate from each other????

[konohamaru-sensei]

hello again!! thank you so much for gathering the iketeru illustrations for me (and translating them too, which i greatly appreciated), cause your post really made my day :')

it's funny that the author's got a whole book of fanservice for us lmao, but i love it! do you have a #1 favorite illustration (of anyone) from the whole book? (sorry if this sent twice btw, crap was glitching lol)

lovely anon, I must tell you that I once again went absolutely over the line with pictures I took. There are so many good ones!! I knew a few illustrations from sensei's twitter and knew how well it worked for me so I ordered this book from japan and yes, that is why I can never pick favourites I just like all of them (exception is the series in which the characters are teachers and you are supposed to be their student, not a big fan of those lol). Once again I put them under cut together with my chitter chatter about them asdhjflas

anyway im glad i made your day!

yes its amazing that this fanservice exist. In the interview at the end of the book sensei says they often drew their characters as practise (without lines) and then uploaded them to twitter to find out the people responded so well!! so they continued with it! More snippets from the interview:

they consider this a kind of alternative world that has no space in the manga (since its a gag manga).

they claim they didnt try to make the characters hot on purpose, it just turned out this way. in their head usao and kumao always had old people voices. but now they are glad the characters are hot because of the voice actors choosen.

they come up with a line and then assign it to a character, rarely the other way around.

Every one of their characters has one thing they think is special, something they like to show off when they draw them. for Uramichi its the chest, for Iketeru the slender neck, for Usahara the shoulders and Kumatani the arms!

and shockingly to me: since this manga is running 10 years now they said when they started they felt like Uramichi is so old, but now they are the same age! I cant believe how someone in their twenties wrote such an accurate manga about being in ones thirties.

gosh anon i wish this was more popular, i only have one friend to talk to about this story and i have so much in my soul dhkasdflsd so please come back if you feel like it!

ok so some of my faves under cut from here

first of: my favourite has always been ushara. he is cringe fail and i love cringe fail so much. but that also means he has almost no COOL lines because he is kind of an idiot (lovingly said) tho all his illustrations are so cute. so he wont show up here much tho i love everything about his arts of course!!

now you asked me for my favourite and ive known this one for a while, but I think my unbeaten favourites of everyone are the love confessions:

I love the different way they all do it. Uramichi pretty much goes "I love....you" (cries), Iketeru of course quotes it, Usahara just YELLS at you "HEY I LOVE YOU" and kumatani is like ".............. iloveyou" haskdlfh

generally kumatani has so many cool lines because he is so stone cold. this is also specifically heart wrecking for me because his voice actor Nakamura Yuuchi is my favourite thing since strawberries so if I imagine him doing the voice I want to die.

Three times Kumatani is an absolute tsundere about white day:

"you are chattering so much... well, tell me what you want now. I'll get you anything."

"What do you want? Tell me clearly"

"I told you to get over here"

another white day illustration i love is this one from usahara

he says "the present is me, hippety hop", which i find ultra cute with the little bunny and the hairclip!! but my friend said it sounds like he forgot white day and just brought the first thing he could find, which would be in character (adding this picture was a nightmare tumblr did NOT want me to upload it?? you hate cute boys? tumblr you hate cute boys??)

uramichi's face when he realises you april fooled him is so funny to me somehow

" You say "Im sorry".. that is also a lie, is it not?"

ok from now on the pictures will be low quality because tumblr wont let me upload the photos direclty anymore i need to screenshot them first. rip im sorry

ok there are a few here of uramichi saying somehow sexy things (to me at least) and it makes me go hrgnlkhdflk

""Good big brother (onisan)" you said. Who do you mean?" idk why that gets me so hard but why you asking .. wha...what you mean

"... Isn't it ok? You don't have to go home yet." (this is from the stayin the night portion)

"A promise from big brother. I will protect you well" T_T

this thing which can only be described as ship art:

is this bickering idiots to lovers sensei? is that what you mean to tell me sensei?

this usahara from the staying the night section

"Come play with me today!" (............ h.......how...)

this image if kumatani because of THE LOOK? um HELLO

unfortuantely the translation is kinda tricky because i cant read most the kanji and google lense is like?? but its something like "Do you think you have the guts to betray me?" or something like "Do you think I have the guts to betray you?" idk he looks good so its fine

almost done i swear!! there are a few kuma usa double pages i love

Kuma: "Don't look. Its hot." (sidenote, he is shirtless a lot. not that I complain or whatever)

Usa: "Where would you like to go? The ocean? My house?"

sorry i tried to keep my fingers out of all pictures but clearly failed xD

Kuma: "Shut up. Shut up and look at me."

Usa: "I understaaaand. Get over here." (crying, i want to)

this is a part of the book extras. I showed it to you with Iketeru already. I think the meaning is sort of the moment they realised their carreers are over, sadface

Kuma: "I never really liked it. I thought I would just throw it away. Damn it, I lost."

Usa: "The wind suddenly stopped. Ah, thats how it is. Its over"

of course there are a lot more other characters shown in the book, but much rarer and since they dont interest me too much they dont have my favourite lines asdhfklasdhf anyway anon I hope you liked this

[paingoes]

Questions for any/all/however many of your OCs because I'm bored and curious.

How have they changed throughout their development? (I don't mean in-character --- like how do they differ now from the previous versions? How are they different now from the very first time you thought of them?)

How would the story differ if a character/s were in the position (societal, emotional, etc, any or all) of other character/s?

What's something (or multiple things) that they'd never, ever tell anyone?

What's something they'd never tell anyone, but really want to?

What do they think of when they hear the word "home"?

Are they religious? What are their thoughts on religion?

ooooo this is so much fun thank you for sending!!! okay!!!

1.) How have they changed throughout their development?

i wanna say that delta has been pretty watertight since inception. the story was created with him in mind. honestly i didnt always know where the plot was going and a lot of that was improvised, but his character and the way he reacts to things are fundamentally what holds the whole thing together. living weapon-whistle blower dichotomy was always there. thats my boy :)

paris and lorelai were both like. they invited themselves in and havent left basically id say that was their effect on the plot. ive said this a lot but the early paris characterization is kinda weak, he was just meant to be a kind of controlling and cruel whumper. and he was always supposed to be close to delta in age. that was basically it. i feel like the first time i really "got" him was when i wrote him in Moonshine blacked out and sobbing on the floor. and even now when i reread it im like. Oh there he is.

lorelai i guess ive also had her characterization down for a while. she has a good heart and despite her sheltered upbringing she has a very strong revolutionary spirit! shes kind of an idealist and she has a really rigid moral sense which is a good contrast to paris's ability to justify literally anything.

i planned to write rubies before crash out or to have crash out be like. a side story to rubies. but i remember the exact moment i realized when i wanted to do with paris and lorelai and it hit me in the head really hard. i was like. they neeeeeed to do fear and loathing in las vegas.

2.) How would the story differ if a character/s were in the position (societal, emotional, etc, any or all) of other character/s?

gonna hold my tongue on this one because the roleswap/princess delta AU is coming!!!!! no spoilers hehehehe

3.) What's something (or multiple things) that they'd never, ever tell anyone?

hmmmm. i feel like delta would really try to avoid talking about times where he was like. gleefully and proudly complicit in hurting and destroying other people. "glee" is definitely a strong word but he takes pride in his work and he knows hes the fucking best at it. he really enjoys the dopamine rush of hitting targets on a purely mechanical level and he enjoyed being The Favorite at the institute. hes knows its wrong now but at the time? he lived off the validation.

one thing lorelai would never tell anyone is that she thinks the living weapon thing was hot.

lorelai: omg poor delta :(((( thats so sad lorelai: it shouldve been me

while lorelai is pretty morally upright she defintiely has a thing about violence and control CTRL. lorelai is a foil to paris but she is a parallel to delta and i think she also really really wants to feel useful in the same way he can be. this doesnt mean shes okay with what paris did to him AT ALL but she is very. captivated by the concept to say the least.

4.) What's something they'd never tell anyone, but really want to?

i cant think of anything tbh! lorelai is mostly an open book and she says what she's thinking. if delta felt strongly enough about anything to confide in someone, and he felt safe to do so, i think he'd cave to that too. i feel like i should have an answer here for paris because he's definitely in the business of "i can't admit this even to myself" but i think if he really wanted to say something he would just say it. i dont think any of them are really good at keeping secrets.

5.) What do they think of when they hear the word "home"?

paris thinks of thales, which is silly. it's not like he ever spent that much time there.

loreali thinks of absalom! she loves her home and its kind of incredible she ever left. she made a big sacrifice doing it and she doesnt regret it but she does get homesick a lot.

delta has no immediate associations and that is something that definitely eats at him. minor spoilers for rubies i guess but he will eventually come to associate Galatea -- and especially Levon -- with home.

6.) Are they religious? What are their thoughts on religion?

i think it would be funny here to say lorelai's family is southern baptist. delta was raised atheist and in fact i think Martino was probably a total snob about it and made him read Space Richard Dawkins. none of them are particularly spiritual but paris and lorelai are both weirdly superstitious. paris believes in the afterlife.

destroyer does not have good religious lore but i did once canonize Space Catholicism so i could make a dick-sucking joke

[cy-cyborg]

I am SO close to finishing Baldur's Gate 3... I think, I've been saying that for the past 20 hours lol, but I really want to gush about Karlach! Once I've actually finished the game I'll probably make a proper post talking about her in a more structured way from a disability standpoint but I just really want to talk about her now lol.

[ID: A gif of Karlach from Baldur's Gate 3, a tall woman with red skin, one black horn, black hair and glowing orange eyes. She is covered in scars and tattoos, her chest glows and she is dancing on the spot in front of a cluttered tent./end ID]

I did not know how much my inner child needed to see someone like her on screen. Strange thing to say about a character from a game that's intro features worms crawling into your eye in hell but its true.

I have massive burn-like scars all over my my lower body, especially my legs, and while I always (mostly) saw the amputations they came with as just a part of me, I had much more negative feelings about those scars, well into my young adulthood, but especially as a teenager. It wasn't helped by the fact that while most folks had the decency to keep their comments about my visible disability... neutral-ish, the comments about my scars ranged from "you should cover those up" to "that's discusting" and young children literally crying at the sight of them. On top of that, every time a character with scars like mine was in the media, they were either the villain, used to teach others a lesson about not being mean or to teach that chatacter a lesson about how beauty is on the inside or how to love their appearance despite thier scars (that they'll be sure to tell you they think are hideous).

But karlach isn't any of those things. She's confident and literally walks around armour that show her scars by default. No one calls her gross or tells her to cover them. Her scars are never brought up as a negative at all, at least that ive seen, they're never something that detracts from her appearance. She never tries to hide them or gets insecure about them. When you romance her, there's no comment about if you're sure you can find "someone with scars like hers" attractive. Characters in the game dont find her attractive in spite of them, they just find her attractive. Full stop. They're just, there. And what's more, the fandom, for the most part, seems to agree. I have seen so many people swooning over her, and they almost never bring the scars up. People don't care, they just think she's hot! (There will always be outliers of course but they seem few and far between in my circles at least lol).

And my God, it's SO refreshing! Don't get me wrong, it's not inherently bad to have chatacters be insecure about things like scars (Wyll has a few moments of insecurity around his, and I think it's done well) but it's so nice for it to not be the central focus for once, or even really a big at all. Especially for a woman character.

I was so convinced as a teenager that no one would find me attractive because of those scars. Scars like Karlach's. I'm older now, I have worked through it all, and any lingering insecurities I had on the subject were shut down when me and my partner got together. But 15/16 year old me desperately needed to see a chatacter like Karlach, and im so happy she exists now!

[mariatesstruther]

I honestly don't get why Maria was so anti-Joel oh he's a horrible person he's done horrible things he can't be around us, but accepted Tommy fully to the point he's the father of her child when both did the same things, ran with the same people and all of that.

I mean I love the character, but that confuses the hell out of me. Why's Tommy accepted but Joel damned?

okay, so… this response took me like half hour to write. my wrists hurt, my jaw is clenched, my brain is hot. i love u anon thank u very much for this chance to vent about just why my girl maria has been so misunderstood. let’s go

i personally think this is where many people fundamentally misunderstand maria’s perception of joel. she’s not cautious of him primarily because of tommy or anything tommy has said, in my personal opinion—she’s cautious of him for and because of ellie

ive said this on my blog a few times and i think so have @steeb-stn and @clickergossip (and maybe @liveandletcry23 and @bumblepony i have a shit memory so tagging just in case) so im gonna tag them to credit their words and ideas about maria as well, but the FIRST time maria sees joel, he’s with this rando twelve year old girl who he is seemingly so protective over that she cant even be sniffed by dogs who are just trying to detect infection, which would be good for ANYBODY. that’s his first strike for untrustworthyness, because why the fuck wouldn’t he let this girl be tested???—we know why, of course, but maria doesnt. shes working on the very limited info about joel/ellie’s relationship that she has from just her own observations, and i think we need to remember that as we go through analyzing why she moves how she moves

shes knows from tommy at this point is that joel had a daughter, but it is definitely not this little girl. so why the fuck are they so close. what have they gone through. are they okay. is ellie okay. is their relationship safe for her??? THAT’s what she’s thinking about, in my opinion, while shes staring joel down at that dinner table. she’s reasonbly suspicious, and i can’t blame her for it.

i had to cut this it’s literally maybe my longest post ever so. heres the cut

ALSO, it’s not like she’s a straight up bitch to joel like some of y’all seem to make it out to be??? she never says or implies that “they can’t be around” or anything like that. she offers them clothes and food and supplies. she sets them up in a house. before dinner, she gives them a personal tour (which, to be fair, she did because she was probably trying to keep an eye on them and figure out more about whether or not ellie is safe, but who wouldnt???? i know tess would! and yall would love her for it!). tommy literally says to joel before they leave that there will always be a place for him and ellie in jackson—you cannot tell me you believe he said so without already have maria’s green light for joel and ellie to stay

ALSO, i wanna consider some other things that i haven’t seen many ppl talk about. on that walk she takes with tommy and joel and ellie, she makes it sound like tommy has been with them for at least years AND she maintains the confidence to say that residents in jackson stay off the radio—i could totally be wrong, but it seems to me from the look tommy and joel share right after that it’s obvious tommy has been talking to joel BEHIND MARIA’S BACK???? did no one else catch that??? am i misinterpreting big time??? id assume because theyre married and from the way tommy talks about jackson that he’s been in jackson for at least 3 years maybe, and we know that he only stopped radioing joel a couple months before the show’s main plotline starts, so timeline wise there had to be some overlap of tommy still radioing joel from/around jackson. idk if anyone of my mutuals has thoughts on this but i personally think it’s important to point out, because it establishes that maria likely doesn’t know or think tommy and joel kept in contact, at least not as recently as up to some months ago. she knows that tommy and joel are close, but at the same time, she doesn’t think tommy really knows or talks to joel anymore, either. so how is she supposed to extend him any trust as tommy’s brother????? how and why would she give this man any benefit of the doubt???? it wouldn’t make any sense. she’s more practical and discerning than she is naive and kind, and y’all can think what y’al want about that but i love her for it. it’s very necessary for a woman like her to be the way she is

okay, so back to your question. back to why joel is “damned” and tommy is “accepted.” let’s talk about joel for a sec

y’all like to babygirl and idolize the absolute fuck out of this man

we know that not only was he a smuggler, but he killed and tricked and took advantage of people, shamelessly and brutally. we know that tommy did so too. maria knows that tommy has done the same things. maria also knows that tommy left that life because he couldnt do it anymore, and joel continued because he could

point blank period!!!!! yall can argue with me all u want but tommy left that murder life and joel did not. im not saying this makes either brother good or bad or better than the other, i love joel sm and i think both of them have an undisputed capability to do unspeakable things in order to survive. but tommy got to a point where he hit a limit, whereas joel doesn’t seem to have one. this is at least my personal interpretation of their conversations in the game and the show

tommy DID join the fireflies, which we all know now is not any fucking better than whatever the fuck joel was doing—the difference is the reasoning, though, and considering tlou is all about reasoning and the why, we need to consider the reasoning behind tommy’s decision: he wanted to do something better, something good, something he thought had a purpose. we all know now that the fireflies are bullshit, their purpose is bullshit, and they’re willingness to kill a child for the sake of the “cure” is it’s own entire paradox of bullshit. but they were a rebel organization fighting fedra, who fucking suck, and probably had somewhat of a better reputation back when tommy was interested in joining—or maybe they didn’t, to be fair, i don’t know! the point is, tommy went to them seeking some sort of better purpose, some type of redeption; in joel’s own fucking words, “tommy’s what we used to call a joiner. had dreams of becoming a hero... wants to save the world.”

tommy is idealistic. he’s romantic. he’s optimistic, almost to the point of being fucking naive. thats why he enlisted in the army, thats why he enlisted in the fireflies—he wanted to feel good about himself and the world he was living in. he needed it to have some light at the end of the tunnel for all the bullshit to make sense. and yeah, he was wrong both times in joining up. we know that, joel knew that while it was happening, and tommy knows that in retrospect, too. i think jackson is the first place he really found true, real purpose—not the kind that is propagandized to you and goes up in smoke, but the kind that is well and truly earned. that’s why he is so loyal to jackson and to maria—they finally gave him was he desperately spent his life searching for

and im just saying, from maria’s perspective, she’s someone who lives for purpose. she lives for jackson and for it’s people and for it’s future, and she has to maintain some sense of idealism in the face of all that fucking ugliness to be able to mentally live im and run a place like jackson, to believe that it’ll work. i think that idealism she has, she sees reflected in tommy’s desperation to be a better person who’s fighting for a better life. she sees that need for redemption and goodness in him, that need for things to be fucking worth it, and hears she hears it in his story. she gets to relate to him with this in a way she doesnt GET TO RELATE with joel YET (we STILL HAVE TIME PEOPLE. WE HOLDIN OUT STRONG FOR THE JOEL AND MARIA BEST FRIEND AGENDA)

but to continue, THEN maria spends YEARS with tommy, getting to know him, getting to know his guilt. just like tess with joel, she’s sees the worst and the best of him and gets to fall in love with all of it. so of course there’s gonna be a bit of a bias and a blindspot, towards him—just like any of are other characters have weak spots for the people THEY fucking love

so that’s i guess why i think tommy is “accepted” by her, i guess, and there’s honestly way more them and their romance that i could make a whole separate post about but i’ll leave it there for now. back to joel and why he’s “damned,” which i don’t think he is

again, from what maria knows, he made an active CHOICE to stay in the lifestyle of smuggling and murdering and QZ bullshit, even after tommy chose to leave—and idk what y’all imagine joel and tess to be doing in those many years on their own, but it’s not fuckin picking flowers, for me. they’re dangerous, dangerous people—more dangerous that fedra, and more dangerous than the fireflies, if we’re being fucking real about it. and we LOVE tess and joel for this, or at least i do

but jackson is not a place where people get by with smuggling or backstreet deals or threats. it’s not supposed to be that place. we all LOVE jackson in fics and hcs and aus because it’s literally a place where joel and ellie finally get to breathe and not worry about their safety/survival first. and you know who keeps jackson that way????? MARIA. AND HE BEING FUCKING PICKING ABOUT WHO JACKSON LETS THE FUCK INSIDE

so yall just expect her to by YIPPY SKIPPY when joel, THE JOEL THE SUPER SMUGGLER MURDER COWBOY, strolls into town????? WITHOUT TESS, WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE MORE PERSONABLE AND REASONABLE ONE???? what????? she’d be crazy not to at least try to be a little intimidating, to make it clear to joel that he will not get away with any of that qz bullshit here. she’d be naive not to, and maria is anything but naive

and i know most people don’t like her for that “a bad reputation doesn’t mean you’re bad” “not always, at least” line, but i actually think it really fits so well in establishing that she’s not afraid of joel, not afraid of challenging him or making him own up to things he’s done. it’s just so so cool to me, i just can’t hate her for that????? she’s establishing with him that she knows what tommy knows about his time in the QZ, and she’s letting him know if that joel shows up here in jackson, there will be fucking problems for him. which i think is a completely fair warning????

so let’s continue. let’s talk about The Scene, the one with her and ellie, the one with the “tommy was following joel” line. ONE thing i’d like to point out about this scene—MARIA IS THE ONE TO TELL ELLIE ABOUT SARAH, NOT JOEL. AND THAT IS A BIG BIG BIG REASON FOR WHY SHE WARNS ELLIE NOT TO TRUST JOEL COMPLETELY

we know what joel and ellie have gone through, at this point, but maria has barely any idea. she sees that ellie has this fierce protectiveness and lots of secrets when it comes to her and joel, which like—can we all be fucking objective here for a second. this can SO easily and SO reasonably be interpreted as something sketchy going on between joel and ellie that maria should be concerned about.

(slight tw about older men-younger woman relationships bc im gonna be personal for a sec, its quick) we don’t know maria’s past or what she has seen or been through, but personally as someone who has been in a situation where an older man has taken advantage of my naivety in the past, i am now extremely hyper vigilant when it comes to young girls around older men in my personal life today. ellie and joel’s situation and how it looks would raise MJAOR red flags for me personally, if i was in maria’s position. that’s just a personal perspective have that really affects the way i view this scene (end tw)

and so maria finds out that joel has kept the fact that HE HAD A WHOLE ASS DAUGHTER from ellie?????? WOULD THAT NOT BE SUS AT ALL TO YALL???? i mean we know why joel doesn’t tell ellie, as gameplayers and watchers of the show, but again. maria is operating on the info she has right in front of her, which is that joel has been omitting maybe the biggest fact of his life from this young girl who is willing to defend and trust him with her entire life, even after she finds out she’s being lied to. this is alarming

so at this point, she’s questioning joel’s intentions with ellie, and in my opinion, it’s not at all unreasonable for her to do so. she then continues to press, because the red flags are flying and she wants ellie to be crystal clear on the kind of man she’s traveling with (“there are CLEARLY things you don’t know about joel” — “so then you understand my concerns”)

AND THEN ELLIE. BLESSED SMART AMAZING ELLIE COMES IN WITH THE DEFENSE—“and tommy did it too, are you worried about him?”—which like, i love this line. i love this moment. i think because i go so hard for maria a lot of y’all think i’m blind to when ellie is making points, but i 100% cheered her on when i first watched this scene, like i’m sure y’all did—because it’s true! it’s fair! if maria is going to judge joel for those things, she needs to extend the same judgement to tommy

the thing is, it’s still fucking true that, as i said earlier, tommy left that life. both the smuggling, and the fireflies—he chose to stop, while joel didn’t—he was smuggling literally up until the day him and tess found ellie, so. there’s that. she continues to judge joel and not tommy because she knows for sure that tommy has changed. she doesn’t know joel enough yet to see that he has changed, too

so then, the dreaded line: “tommy was following joel.” let’s talk about it.

i don’t love this line either, tbh! i think it’s a weak defense on maria’s part, and a weak line on the tlou hbo writers part—probably my least favorite line of maria’s overall. but i do get why she says it, and i kind of think i get the purpose??? i think????

it reminds me a lot of joel’s line, earlier, about tommy being a “joiner,” and i think it’s funny that, as opposite as joel and maria like to think they both are to each other, the way they describe tommy is pretty much the same. tommy is a “joiner” to joel and a “follower” to maria, and in all respects they both love and hate him for it. idk where i’m going with that exactly, just something interesting to think about in terms of the joel and maria best friend agenda

but i also think this line get’s taken out of context a lot, because the full line is “tommy was following joel, the way you are now.” maria says this line to lead into her main point, the really fucking important line in this scene: “be careful who you put your faith in. the only ones who can betray us, are the one’s we trust.”

WHICH IS TRUE. IT IS THE POINT. AND WHEN JOEL LIES TO ELLIE, HIDES SOMETHING FROM HER YET AGAIN at the end of the season/game, IT BECOMES A THEMATIC CLIMAX POINT THAT CONNECTS BOTH OF THE GAMES

maria is not saying this to “damn” joel—and i personally don’t think she is “damning” joel in the way you imply here, as there’s definitely potential for them to develop a relationship in s2 once she has more information about the truth of how he thinks of ellie. i think she’s warning ellie not to trust joel, because she doesn’t trust joel, at the end of the fucking day—and that’s about it. she trusts tommy in a way that she can’t quite trust joel yet, and why would she, at this point? it would make no sense for her to

so y’all can blame her and hate her for her distrust all you guys want (btw not necessarily talking to you, anon, ive just gotten some very nasty asks about maria from others so im talking to them rn!!!!!!!), but i’m sorry—you can’t tell me that it doesn’t at least make sense. she’s MARIA. she’s MADE OF SENSE

[princessfarts31]

so I don’t really vent like this but like here goes it.

so I’ve been single like seriously single since high school (I’m turning 23 in a couple weeks so you do the math). I’ve only been in situationships since then.

now I was in a serious situationship (I basically call this man my ex) for like a year. Then I met my now ex bf I was with for a short amount of time bc he very quickly realized he couldn’t do anything serious. I’ll admit we rushed it.

then I met that guy who I told yall seemed perfect, was my type and was into all this stuff? ya he realized too he was “too busy”. now I’m not here to invalidate anyone but I’m getting my PhD at 22 and I have a couple internships and places I volunteer at the exact same time and I work 😑 so please do enlighten me and tell me about how busy you are.

anyway, somewhere after all that ended a good friend of mine and I somehow ended up messing around. He is the last guy I ever saw myself fooling around with. Luckily I didn’t let it go anywhere as I realize very quickly that although I can see myself falling for him I deserve better than him. He’s a player who just messes around. He says whatever he needs to to make girls fall for him. He’s stayed a friend but simply just a friend I talk to very rarely now.

my love life went from 0%/ toxic ass situationships where I was delusional and settling for the least. then I magically ended up meeting a bunch of people who although in hindsight weren’t good for me, they still treated me well and gave me great experiences looking back on. they taught me a lot about myself and my values and what i look forward to. However. The excuse that they’re too busy or not ready for a relationship but really really like me has never stopped being frustrating.

I’m genuinely sick of men at the moment. like actually. i crave romance and a good serious relationship with a good man. but i think ive had so much of them recently that im repulsed but the idea of them rn. don’t get me wrong talking to yall on here is completely different. i love talking and chatting! but i get so many dms of people wanting to just “chat” but then they never make small talk they instantly jump into fat chat or farts and stuff. Like I don’t mind talking about our mutual kinks but when you turn the conversation into how hot and bothered im making you 🤢

anyway that’s my rant ✋🏼✋🏼 I love yall. send me asks. I’m like 95% likely to answer those rather than my dms tbh.

[jemmo]

his man 3 ep 9 + 10

consider me gagged. literally gagged. i tried so hard to avoid spoilers all day and im so glad i did bc wow ep 10 alone had changed so much for me. like i had to grab my laptop to write this so i could type fast enough to keep up with my thoughts. anyway.

and let me start off with what im a little less invested in, which is the youngjoon and myeongkyun situation. i was busy on holidays for a couple of weeks when this was picking up so didn't write about my thoughts, but it was safe to say i was more on youngjoon's side, not a staunch hater of myeongkyun but bc i liked youngjoon a lot at the start and also feel for the frustration of someone giving vague answers when you're trying to talk something else bc man ive been there. but with this conversation, it puts myeongkyun's behaviour in such a different light thats easier for me to understand and empathise with. like... if you were invested in a relationship that ended vaguely but you always kept some amount of hope alive all this time, only to be met with percieved coldness and harshness when you see that person again, i see why you'd tense up, which explains why he always seemed somewhat uncomfortable in the house. and i also understand why he seemed to 'pester' youngjoon, bc he's either conciously or uncounciously defaulting back to the dynamic and level of friendliness they had before. for youngjoon, he easily ended a relationship he thought neither party was too interested in, only to still be contacted by that person and then have that person pester you in the house. like that seems like someone who is trying to get at an ex. for myeongkyun, this is all a much longer process of him coming to terms with the fact that yes, he was more invested in this relationship and yes, he maintained some level of feelings and hope they'd come back together, and seeing him having to face the fact that he was the only one thinking that and whatever he was holding on to never mattered... ngl i cried a bit. the fact is him and youngjoon just are different when it comes to dating, youngjoon is very hot from the go, but if he feels nothing in return he backs off with nothing lost, whereas myeongkyun takes a lot longer to develop, realise and then admit his feelings, and so you can easily see how these two people would misunderstand each other. and i also wanna say how interesting i find myeongkyun's presentation and journey on the show. he came in with this big impact both bc of him being presented as this handsome and confident guy and bc he had a history with youngjoon. together, its easy to jump to the conclusion that myeongkyun was the one who did something to youngjoon or was in the wrong, when that wasn't actually the case at all. it also makes me wonder what kind of myeongkyun we wouldve gotten if youngjoon wasnt also there. would we have gotten this confident hottie? bc i think, bc youngjoon was there and all of this history was brought up (history of a first relationship by the way!! no wonder it got to him so much), making him face it revealed a much softer and more sensitive side of him that mightve taken longer had this not all happened, which in a twisted way im glad of bc it means he can now get closer with other people, and im interested to see how he will shift now, if we'll be able to see this goofy side of him but a lot more carefree. anyway, all of this is to say i ended up liking myeongkyun more than i thought bc suprise suprise, people are a lot more complicated than they first appear. and honestly... i might like him more than youngjoon now, but dont tell me from 3 weeks ago that.

and now to the juicier stuff. this whole love triangle that is apparently turning square. i really dont know how to put my thoughts into words bc im somehow both sad and happy?? i guess i wanna say there's people im happy for and people im sad for. first of all im sad for hwi, but also really glad this conversation at the end of ep 10 was had. we've seen too many examples on this show of people not knowing how to give up on pursuing people, and even more examples of people that are poor at communicating where their interest lies and letting people down when its needed, so this made me happy. after how overwhelmed he was in earlier eps, im glad seongmin is feeling some clarity, even if i disagree but we'll get to that and i guess its his feelings that matter, and im glad he communicated clearly where he's at. but man did my heart break for hwi during that chat. there's that youthful passion and naivety to his feelings for seongmin that just feels horrid and cruel to squash, but also necessary, and i will very much second seongmin and seungjin's sentiment that he can date other people and should know that seongmin is not the only person in the world for him. in this season, it seems people have so quickly and easily found their one person they want to commit to and easily formed couples, but that doesnt mean they're right, nor does it mean that's the only person for them, and the show seems to be encouraging them away from this too. hwi was just so enamoured by seongmin, it feels like he found someone that he thought was absolutely perfect, and so letting go of that feels impossible. but for me too, i did love them together, it was so sweet and cute at the start, but things can and do change and when they do, we all need to realise it doesn't lessen anything that happened. for those couple of days, everything they felt was genuine and they were happy and that can still be remembered fondly while mourning the fact that you won't have that same happiness with that person again.

and i also wanna say im kind of sad for jaeseung. i said just that i was happy about this clarity seongmin has now, but for jaeseung, i feel sad that he just seems so on edge all the time, like how people can be on the edge of getting angry all the time, except for him it feels like he'll spiral into his worst thoughts at the simplest things. like when hwi would talk about jaeseung, yes he'd be mad and jealous, but until the end of this ep, it didn't feel that deep, like he'd joke about getting mad but i wouldn't feel that much tension. and yes while hwi did get more frustrated in these eps, for a lot longer jaeseung has been so tightly strung and will so easily get mad just when he sees hwi and seongmin together. and im like... yes ok get jealous whatever, but you can't actually get that mad when he's equally entitled to spend time with the person he likes and try to win him over. and if its bc he really does like seongmin that much then im sorry but i don't think jealously to that much of a level is sweet. you aren't a thing yet, so just take a minute and breathe bc at the end of the day, seongmin and hwi will feel and behave however you want and thats out of your hands. and i know on some level its bc he's jealous of the fact that hwi is able to express his feelings so openly and blatantly while jaesung cant, like that is what he always focuses his frustration on as if hwi doing that is bad when actually its just completely within his right and jaeseung is equally allowed to express his feelings. plus i hate to say it but i just dont feel seongmin and jaeseung's chemistry yet. if i see it later on then im more than happy to change my mind but their date was so bland and matter of fact, they don't share any interests, and since that date there's been nothing that's made me vibe with them as a couple. it feels convenient instead of something that started with feelings but hey, if genuine feelings do develop i will stand corrected, but all i say is just bc something seems like it should be right, doesnt mean it actually is.

and my final piece of happiness will of course be for seungjin bc as much as im sad about hwi losing seongmin... hwi and seungjin has so much potential to be the perfect friends to lovers to put bridgerton s3 to shame. i just think theyre fantastic together, they get on so easily and match each other's vibe so well and i'd be so happy if something developed, but i dont want to get too excited bc hwi has been so focused on seongmin that i don't know if or how his interests for others will develop now.

but all in all i liked these eps, ep 10 especially, and im very interested to see how this new love square will resolve (remember, polyamory exists too)

[fictionfixations]

LMAO ZEN (doesnt it happen for everyones routes though? i havent done like another story yet tho)

anyway before i get into talking about jumin (as the route im on rn) i wanted to wonder

yknow how certain things happen but only on someones route?

like zen has the echo girl thing, idk what yoosung has i forgor but i think jaehee had that one project??? that got her interested in like coffee stuff? jumin has the arranged marriage?? and seven has like. well. the hacker stuff.

but it never gets mentioned on someone elses route ? i dont think? i feel like itd be more cooler if it was all happening at once as like little references (but either something they can handle or cant handle outside of the route. just like maybe a vague mention of trouble to interest the player in that route, while still making sense from like a timeline standpoint???)

like. people doing things but its not because youre the one pushing it towards that. i like that more. and im curious how chaotic itd be

anyway

JUMIN. (disclaimer: I dont like him)

WARNING i start venting in this post. theres only one mention of a triggering thing (which is warned before the actual vent part but i dont want to put here to bring the mood down more cause in all honesty im over it. im just kind of projecting.)

i think ive said before how i can understand the liking of possessive partners

but. okay maybe its just that i dont like jumin as much as the others but. this is kinda way too much. or maybe its that i value my own independence a whole lot or maybe its because i really dont like the thing with his cat (and i LIKE cats. so giving me a character who likes cats and making me not like them??? ahgeiudhf)

like 'dont leave or ill go insane and make your face known everywhere so i can find you again' like the fuck no w h y CAN I LEAVE

I want to leave i dont care if i get the bad ending get me out of here 😭 (actually i think the bad ending mightve been if we encouraged being compared to like his cat and like. was willing to stay forever.)

e w NO like CHILL

maybe. im. being too extreme. and im just too on edge. but like. can you not. i am not your property?? i am not an object??

now LISTEN i understand marking. like like yknow biting and so and so as like a claim over your partner. and now that? thats hot and i like that. but thats ONLY for the bedroom there comes a point where too much of a thing is a bad thing

ALSO we've known each other how many days has it been. eight?? WE've known each other EIGHT days dont be horny bonk

g o o d . this is good.

STOP. dont talk like you know whats best for a person. like its some thing that'll happen, not a what if.

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. now if he was being more weird id say go home but hes. OKAY. ish. now. like hes trying. and anyway getting him to not do it takes time. and also this is a game of romance fantasies where creepy shit gets played off as kinky or something. (not a jab towards mysme its just the kind of thing its trying to do which can result in uncomfortable parts if you take off your rose-tinted glasses of wOAH ROmANCE. its expected since ppl think certain things are hot when in reality its kind of very not that great)

…CAN I GO HOME???? like BRUH im not gonna accept you just cause you do so and so

why does this feel like a 'nice guy'. maybe this is my bad because this is making me really want to leave buth gdiuhfuih

trigger warning. i vent. mention of kermit sewer slide but nothing actual.

ive been pushing the 'stay here to help jumin feel more calm' but. i do also need to prioritize my own well being and my well being is not happy here rn 😭 (on a serious note though while its important to be there for your partner, its NOT a good thing to give everything to make sure your partners okay, because y'all are equals and as you help them stand they need to help you stand too or you'll collapse under all that and it really wont be a good time. im telling you its very draining. and why i promote the idea of get your shit together before you get with someone because there comes a point where you can be too dependent on your partner which isnt good for you or for them [and they can feel hesitant to express their feelings because they dont want to hurt you, or hesitant to do anything too stressful because theyre like that support pillar for them, and they dont want to do anything that causes otherwise because they dont want their partner to get hurt. it can also mean they go along with what the other wants even if they dont really want to because they dont want to hurt them. am i projecting? ithink im projecting. cause like. ive been there. and honestly i think it kind of fucked me up cause there was like a power imbalance in that one was significantly more fragile and vulnerable then the other, which made me feel like i should be going along with it because i didnt want them to be hurt when they didnt have anyone else they could rely on but me. [i tried to get them to make more friends cause relying on a single person is very unhealthy but no dice] but that also meant that they didnt respect my boundaries or respect me when i say no and instead just gave off excuses to make me change my mind or made me feel like i had to do what they wanted or theyd deliberately hurt themself. so.. it was a lot. anyway it really fucked me up cause i felt like i was in the wrong for not going along with it. blah blah blah. we split. i genuinely have no idea if it was true or not but they'd started saying things to make me feel bad and just not a fun time at all. they were probably in a really dark time in their life but im gonna be honest. i dont know in what scenario its okay to go 'im gonna kermit sewer slide if you dont [blah blah blah]'. so yknow. and this is not really the same but it still feels the same in walking all over boundaries and lines and is especially why i do not like this character a bit. yay trauma.])

i might actually get a bad ending because i. really dont like this.

[undressmewithyoureyes]

KING - (TWO)

KONIG

From the first time I saw her, I had to have her. Dead or alive, it doesn't matter. Dead, I would be the most feared man and a fucking legend. Alive, she would learn to love me and we could run the world ourselves. I just needed to play my cards right. So far, I’ve folded each hand. 

Ive sat back and waited - watched her from afar to know her. Figure her out. Knowing a person and how they operate is deadly enough, but being able to figure out a persons intentions before they do it, can make them a puppet on your hand. And I want her on her knees looking up into mine as she whimpers from my hands. You don’t know how many times I have fell asleep with multiple scenarios of how I am going to make that happen. 

Most fear me. I would too if I seen a 6’10 guy heading straight at me with nothing but pure anger through the soulless windows on his face. Granted, thats the only thing that you will ever see on me - unless I let you. Even then, its a death sentence. Everyone knows who I am, just like Widow. Im the Colonel of Kortac. A war machine that stops at nothing to get shit done…and to get who I want. 

“Any luck?” My right hand man, Three asks me. 

“No, but where close,” I respond. He got the name Three because he wears glasses and one of the lenses he lost in combat. Still to this day, he only has one lens. He’s my sniper and funny thing is, the eye he depends on is the lensless eye. Ironic. 

Three nods at me and I look back through my scope. Im feeling my balls off out here in the fucking snow. We followed Widow down here. I got a lead saying she was headed in this direction to take care of someone - but from the looks of it, she seems to be a bit greedy. 

A woman with an appetite. I like it.

“You know she isn’t going to come willingly,” Three says reminding me of how desperate I am.

I give a low chuckle, “I don’t give a fuck if she comes willingly. I’ll drag her by her hair for however long I see fit until she realizes my side is the winning side.” I give a brief pause, looking at her slice a guys throat open. The others in front not even knowing whats about to happen. “But best believe,” I say looking over at Three, “She’s going to be coming regardless.” 

The breathy laugh he gives tells me he knows I'm not talking about walking or following me anywhere. I look back through my scope as I hear shots fired in the distance. She toyed with he first two, now she’s ready to wrap this shit up. 

“When do you want to move in?” Three asks. 

I wait a few seconds before answering, “Not today. Its not the right time.” I hear him exhale an aggravated sigh, “Trust me, I want to - but I need her right where I want her.” And an open area is not it. 

From what I have witnessed, she is a goddess where men bow at her feet and plead with their lives just for her to take it. She gives no mercy and whether its open area or close combat, you’re going to die either way - or at least wish you were dead. She’s immaculate at both, but you have a zero chance of surviving in the open. 

One of her tactics I have noticed is she preys on her prey. She likes playing with her food before she takes a bite - which ironically is something I also enjoy. And something she will soon find out. She makes her opponent weak, giving her the upper hand - but there have been occasions where she digs right in and heads straight for dessert. Fuck the main meal - kind of like today. She toyed with he first two, then shot the rest before going to the vehicles. 

She fascinates me. Always had. A woman of all people who outranks any man when they are in her presence is hot enough, but one that anyone in the world knows and fears - it makes my dick hard just thinking about it. Thats true power. She lives her life in secret and no matter how often you search, you will never find anything on her. Just her name…Widow. 

“Why she leave the door open?” Three asks pulling me from my thoughts. Fuck what they have said about us men with it being cold outside. Im quite the opposite and could say that my dick is frozen, thats how hard she makes me. 

I look back through my scope and chuckle, “She’s playing with her food.” I can see out of the corner of my eye Three look at me, “I bet any amount of money that there is someone in there who is on the brink of dying.” 

“So why doesn’t she just kill them?” Ah, the questions we all want to know. I know, not because I asked, but because I have the same demented mind as she does. Suffering. 

Without taking my eye off her as I watch her get into the first SUV that crashed, “Theres nothing better than watching the life drain from someones eyes. Someone who doesn’t deserve to live. Better yet, hearing their screams in the distance because something else has done the work for you.” I remove my face from the scope and look into Three’s icy blue eyes, “We started the timer on their life, but were not the ones who stop it and God knows how long it will take. The longer the better.”

Three has been around me to know how I am and how sick in the mind I can be, but watching a woman do it, its unheard of. Sure, theres women in the field who torture the people they capture, but nothing compares to her. And I think thats why everyone is so fucking scared of her or will barely mention her name. She’s fucking ruthless and the shit she does to people makes the hardest men in the fields squirm. But me, I crave it. I need more. 

Three looks back through his scope and I hear the sound of whipping coming though the air. I point my rifle up and see a helicopter heading this way. Nikolai. He lands the helo and I watch him help her load her things up. She stands there for a few minutes and I can tell they are exchanging words. A strike of jealousy runs through me. Soon is what I have to keep telling myself. 

They both load in the helo and take off in the same direction Nik came. Once I know were in the clear, I motion for Three to get up and we head towards the SUVs. I want to know what caused my little devil to come out here. 

Three and I make our way to the murder scene - the temperature dropping steadfast. Our boots crunch in the thick snow and its coming down heavier now. “Go ahead and call Jay for exile.” Three nods and clicks the coms on his vest and tells Jay to come pick us up. 

I reach the first SUV to us - the second one to crash - and take a peek inside. A man sits in the back seat with blood seeping out of his stomach and also both of his knees. Ouch. 

“Ple-Please!” He begs. Tears and snot running down his face. His skin now pale - even grey looking. It wont be long. “Please help me!”

Before I can ask, Three speaks up, “What happened?” 

The man seems baffled that were asking questions instead of helping him like he pleaded. “Th-This crazy bit-“ I don’t give him time to finish the sentence before I shoot a bullet between his eyes. Regardless what her reasoning was, she did it for a reason, but nobody is going to speak about my girl like that. 

Three doesn’t even question me as to why I did it. He stopped asking me shit years ago and I guess he just realized on day, I do whatever the fuck I want to do. Just like a king does. I may not be an heir or royalty, but Kortac is my fucking kingdom and I am the ruler of it all. 

I walk to the first SUV and see a man slumped over in the driver seat. He’s alive, but barely. I recognize him. His face has came across my screen before. Robert Eager. First time I read his name, I snorted to myself. His parents fucking hated him. 

He slowly lifts his head off the steering wheel and looks in my direction - his eyes growing wide when he sees me. Just like Widow, everyone knows who I am too. A black loose mask with two bleached lines under my eyes - as if im crying blood and it dried. The one. The only. Konig. 

Robert begins to shake his head and I know thats a silent plea. Like most, I don’t give a fuck when your life is in my hands. I smirk, knowing he can’t tell except for my eyes squinting. I’ll leave this one to suffer. He deserves it, but even to me thats a loose punishment. 

Once again, Three doesn’t question and by this time, Jay is dropping the helo. We board and he asks where were headed. I pull out my phone from my from vest and click on my tracking app. While my little devil was toying with her prey, I was toying with her. 

“Back to base,” I tell him and put my phone back in my vest. Its almost time for us to personally meet and I feel that its going to be a fight. I feel my dick rubbing against my pants just thinking about how its probably going to go - and I hope its as rough as I picture it to be.