#ive never had this happen to me before so i am kinda lost

[turontot]

before going to bed i wanna post this here

i came across an account that had reposted my art without permission. there were two videos that featured my art, both of them having more likes than the original (one of them getting 10k likes.)

this is the account. looking at their other videos it looks like they have also reposted other people's art that i am assuming that they never asked permission for either.

honestly i dont know how to deal with these things and i dont know what to do, i just hope that the reposter sees my comments and deletes the videos

[orionshounds]

as a fierce enjoyer of shadow and sonic’s dynamic, i am deeply interested in how things will shake out in sonic 3, mainly because movie sonic is so different to any other iteration of sonic before

i could go on and on about how interesting sonic wachowski is comparatively....most of the time sonic struggles with his close relationships because, while he loves his friends, he struggles with wanting to be free and feeling tied down to them. this sonic yearns for that stability, he WANTS to be tied down to other people, he wants almost desperately to have a stable place to call home. this is a sonic that is tired of running

shadow has always had a clearly defined past. even if theyve never played it, most sonic fans know the plot of sa2 by heart. it is an amazing story and gives a clear framework for shadow’s character. sonic...has never really had this. sure, certain sonics like sonic satam or underground have more specific pasts, but largely sonic’s backstory has always been kinda nebulous and ive always found that fascinating. to me, shadow is interesting because of his past, sonic is interesting because of his lack of one. this is yet another thing the movie “breaks” about sonics character and its what i believe is going to make such an interesting change to sonic and shadows dynamic

sonic understands shadow’s loss

sure other mainline sonics have experienced loss before, but sonic wachowski has a clearly defined backstory in which he lost someone TREMENDOUSLY important to him....not even just important, he lost his family which is kind of shadow’s whole deal

longclaw was murdered, violently. maria was murdered, violently. both of them witnessed their loved ones dying right in front of them. this sonic wont just empathize with shadow, he understands him on a fundamental level.

now, obviously, they will still have a lot of conflict. shadow is going to lash out at the world for his loss and sonic refuses to let anything happen to his new family. but i cant help but wonder if sonic will try reaching out on that personal level, and what shadow’s reaction will be (i imagine he would reject it, saying that sonic could never understand, but he does. he so painfully does).

the movie’s story has set up such a perfect reflection of shadow in sonic that i have never seen before and i CANNOT WAIT to see play out

[angel-kyo]

Pay it no mind

Part XXV

In which reader confesses their feelings to Gojo, but it seems these are not returned (maybe?).

Warnings: reader is on the receiving end of rejection (kinda), and the fact that I'm obsessed with unrequited love is a warning itself. Drinking is mentioned, Satoru is ooc and a bit mean. Umm... I don't know. If you think of anything, let me know.

Previous: Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, Part XII, Part XIII, Part IV, Part XV, Part XVI, Part XVII, Part XVIII, Part XIX, Part XX, Part XXI, Part XXII, Part XXIII, Part XXIV

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“Are you sure you don’t want some company? You look kind of…” Haruki did not finish that sentence, but you could guess what he meant.

Affected? Dumbfounded? Hurt? I am, all of those.

After your argument with Satoru, both of you had returned to the table looking gloom and shaken, and none of you had had the stomach to try the dessert after all.

Out of decency, Satoru had not made any excuses to leave early. But his eyes did not meet yours for the rest of the night, alternating between Haruki, Shoko, and the dessert he would push around over his plate but would not eat. And just like you, he had lost all will to chat with the rest. Then he had said his goodbyes quickly and left you all standing on the street outside the restaurant.

After you accompanied Shoko part of the way in the direction of her house, Haruki had insisted on walking you home.

Now you were standing in front of the closed door to your apartment with concerned hazel eyes trying to decipher what was going through you head.

“I guess I could not impress your friends, could I?” he asked, testing your mood.

You still did not look at him when you replied “You didn’t do so bad. Shoko was quite pleased.”

It was true. Even if the mood had become awkward towards the end of the night, you could tell Shoko had apparently enjoyed herself for a while.

“But Gojo wasn’t… It must have been quite a chat if it let you both that quiet.”

You knew there was no hostility in his tone, but it still reminded you of everything Satoru had told you.

“Is it because…?”

“Why did you have to…?”

Both of you had spoken at the same time, but when Haruki’s eyes connected with yours, he knew the answer to the question he had not finished. “So, it is because of what I said that Gojo got so weird. Am I right?”

He sighed.

It was not like you to look for someone to blame, and in all honesty, you could probably blame yourself for most of what had happened, but…

“He got the impression you and I have something, and now he thinks I was toying with him.”

He figured it had been something like that. He had felt like Gojo was mentally throwing daggers at him when he finally returned to the table and set his eyes on him.

“I’m sorry...” Haruki’s eyes showed genuine regret. “I guess I got petty. The other night, when you told me you felt he actually likes you, and that you wanted to give him a chance…” He smiled sadly. “...I felt happy for you, really. But when I saw him tonight, and the way he looks at you, I realized I would have to let you go.”

He had never seen it up-close, the way you and Gojo orbited around each other; how any of you would say something and immediately look at the other as if waiting for their reaction, the looks and smiles between the two revealing the complicity shared, like a dance you were the only ones who knew the steps of, a synchronized waltz perfected through the years.

You leaned against the door and looked down. “He hates me now though.”

Haruki leaned his side against the wall, looking at you. “You know,” there was a slight change in his remorseful tone from before, “when I was in high school, I was working parttime at this coffee shop, and one day during cashier duty, I spotted this person in the line and immediately felt like I needed to know them. I could have just given them their order and taken their money, but I asked them about the keychain dangling from their bag.”

I remember.

“I’ve never once regretted it,” he said looking into your eyes. “They turned out to be fun and smart, and made me so happy during a time when I was so miserable at home. I even felt a bit jealous of the friends who got to see them every day, and of that Satoru they talked so much about, and who obviously had loved them long before I even met them.”

Right, even back then, you would constantly mention Gojo during your outings. You had thought it was just natural for friends to talk so much about each other, to be constantly reminded of your bond, to see something and wonder if Satoru would like it, eat it, what would he think of it, and the need to share anything you found enjoyable with him.

‘Satoru would say this is not sweet enough.’

‘Satoru likes this anime too.’

‘The other day, Satoru said…’

Looking back at it, maybe you had fallen for him long before your lips touched his.

“I am sure he still feels the same,” Haruki said almost in a whisper as he reached for your face.

Looking at you, Haruki wondered what would have happened if you two had had more time. Would he have had a chance if you had met at a different stage in life? Would you have still drifted apart if your time had not been cut short when you were younger? If only he had met you sooner or maybe later than that hot summer that persuaded you to enter the air-conditioned coffee shop where he was working to escape the heat for a few minutes, would things have been different?

No... It is unfair to blame timing.

Those few minutes making small talk with you stretched into one of the happiest seasons of his youth. He did not want to change it, and hoped you did not either, even if the period when he could hope for anything more than friendship had come to an undeniable end.

“And you and him will sure have many more happy seasons together,” he said before pressing a caste kiss on your cheek and embracing you.

To you and Haruki, this was his way of saying goodbye to the possibility of anything else between you and him, an amicable end to a bright summer.

Unfortunately, to the white-haired man standing farther away in the hallway, who had not heard his words but witnessed his actions, although unnoticed by any of you, it felt like the end of the world he had been living in for the last few weeks.

***

If anyone had told Yaga that hiring two of his own former students as teachers would make his life this hard, he would have decided against it from the start.

Gojo was MIA, and he had had to call a substitute to cover for him. And then, there was you, who while physically present before your students, did not look as focused as usual.

You had taken your class to the training grounds for an improvised training outside, or that was what you were telling to Principal Yaga.

“I didn’t think ‘improvised’ was your teaching style, [name],” Yaga said while observing your students. “That’s more like Satoru’s.”

“I suppose,” you agreed, trying to ignore the painful feeling hearing his name caused.

Yaga glanced at you from the corner of his eye. Your face was turned to the training grounds ahead of you, but a look into your eyes would easily reveal your mind was somewhere else.

As your former mentor, Yaga usually trusted your teaching methods and knew better than to pry on your personal business, so he opted for letting it is slip.

“Now, about Satoru, you wouldn’t happen to know where he is, would you?”

That question seemed to briefly pull your mind from wherever it was, and Yaga saw you focus on the kids running around in the field and shake your head lightly. “No, I haven’t heard of him.”

Nothing since that night.

“What a way to slack off,” Yaga grumbled. “I’ll have Ijichi pay him a visit.”

Despite your low spirits, that thought amused you.

Poor Ijichi; he had been your junior in high school, and while he had become a reliable assistant, still looked up to you and Shoko. You suspected he held some of the same respect for Gojo, and that may be why he put up with his antics so much. That did not mean that Satoru had stopped treating him as his underclassman, though.

Even if he can find Satoru, he will be lucky if he can talk any reason into him and drag him to the school.

“Right, why don’t you go instead?”

Yaga was looking at you, waiting for your answer.

Had you said that aloud?

“Me?" you asked. You? Reach out to Satoru, after everything that had happened? "I can’t.. I mean, I have to watch my students.”

Lame excuse, and by the way Yaga kept his eyes on yours, you could tell he knew it was just that, an excuse.

Of course, he probably was not caught up with all the drama between you and Satoru, so he did not see any issues with his request.

“You mean the students who are about to shot us an arrow?”

“What…?”

You did not have time to finish the question when indeed, and arrow infused with curse energy flew by between you and Yaga followed by the gasps and ‘watch out’ screams of the kids.

You looked at them in disbelief and yelled, “I said no cursed tools for now! Put that away.”

Their obedience probably was motivated by Principal Yaga’s stern watch on them rather that your scolding.

“Sure, you may need to keep a sharper eye on them.” The principal’s expression was a severe as always, but you thought you saw the ghost of a smile on his face. “Check on Satoru later, alright? And tell him that he should pass by my office when he finally decides to grace us with his presence.” Now his tone had been a bit more serious.

With that, Yaga left.

Only once he was out of your sight, he allowed himself to smile more openly, remembering a certain group of students who had done their own fair share of mischief back in the day. Not that he would not give one of them a good scolding for skipping work though.

***

“Hello?” you asked, cautiously stepping into Gojo’s apartment.

You had knocked, many times actually, but there had been no response.

He had missed the whole workday at the school; as far as you knew from the assistants, he not been sent on any missions, and even Shoko had confirmed not having communicated with him at all that day.

He had not responded to your texts or calls, so you did the one thing you had been hoping to avoid all day: going to his place.

After some awkward minutes knocking on his door, you decided the situation was getting concerning and took out the emergency spare key you had to Satoru’s apartment.

When you were finally in, the darkness was the first thing you noticed. The sun was going down and some light still filtered through the partially open curtains.

Maybe he is not home?

“Satoru?” you called.

You walked further into the apartment and saw Gojo laying down on the couch of his living room. You stepped closer and noticed he was asleep.

Carefully, you towered over him.

Is he sick or...?

Only then, you noticed the half-full bottle of vodka on the table. Since when did he have alcohol at home?

“[name].”

Satoru was laying still, looking at you with half-lidded eyes, and you took a step back, straightening up. “You’re awake.”

He sat up. “How did you get in?”

At least he does not look too drunk.

You raised your hand, still holding the spare key he had given you. “You did not come to the school. Have you been here the whole day?”

His focus shifted to his surroundings as if he was disoriented.

“Where is your phone? We have called you a hundred times. Yaga is pissed, and…”

“Can-can you stop?” His brows were furrowed, and he was pinching the bridge of his nose. “I have a headache... Why is it that you are you here again?”

You huffed. “Yaga asked me to come here. Are you drunk?”

You did not recognize the look he gave you and his eyes drifted to the bottle sitting in front of him, the recollection of the last couple of days slowly coming back to him. Him telling you those awful things in the restrooms, him going to your place because he felt bad for saying them, him seeing Ikeda getting all affectionate with you, his blood boiling at the sight and the ache in his chest that followed.

The rest was a blur.

He had bought that bottle and been hesitant at first about drinking any of it. No, he did not like the taste of it nor the burning feeling in his throat, but once the alcohol had settled in, it would numb his senses, and if he was lucky, he would fall unconscious into a prolonged dreamless sleep. At that moment, it looked exactly like what he needed. The only thing he had not considered was the pounding headache he would wake up with.

The place was almost completely dark, but the little light getting in shone too brightly. He closed his eyes.

“Satoru?”

With effort, he opened his eyes enough to see you were handing him his blindfold. He must had left it discarded on the floor.

He took it, and the way his fingers brushed yours did not go unnoticed by either, but he quickened to pull his hand back and cover his eyes as if it had not happened.

You let a soft sigh scape your mouth. “Can we talk?”

You looked at him expectantly.

“I think we’ve talked enough,” he said in a flat tone.

He knew you needed to talk. What had happened in the restrooms that day had hardly been talking. It had been yelling and accusing, mostly from his part. He had felt ashamed for exploding like that, but when he thought of Ikeda holding you in front of your apartment, he could not help but feel hurt and betrayed all over again.

“No, Satoru. I mean, actually talking, explaining, and…”

And telling you I love you.

“I said there is nothing to talk about, [name]. Please just leave me alone.“

You swallowed your words. He wanted alone time. That was understandable.

“Okay,” you agreed almost breathless. “I get you are not feeling well.”

You eyed the bottle on the table in front of him. “Don’t drink more, okay?” Your voice was soft, mindful of the headache he had.

You wanted to stay and look after him, just as you always did when he was not feeling well, but his rigid posture and the way his face was turned away from you, was a clear sign that he would not be receptive to your presence now.

“And call Yaga," you continued. "He wanted to know if you’re coming to the school tomorrow or if he will need another substitute.”

The slight nod he gave you was the only confirmation that he had heard you.

“Okay,” you nodded back and turned to leave.

“[name]?”

You halted at the mention of your name and walked back, hopeful.

Satoru was still looking at some invisible point in front of him instead of your face, and the fact that his blindfold was on, and the room was almost completely dark made it only harder to read his expression.

“I’d like you to please leave your spare key.”

Huh?

You blinked once, twice. Your throat was closing. Why did you suddenly felt like crying?

Was it the foreign courteous tone in which he had request it? Was it because he was asking you to return a symbol of your friendship and trust in each other?

Perhaps, it was the underlying meaning behind such action why your hand trembled slightly when you placed the key on the table in front of him.

If he noticed the tear that landed on his carpet when you bent forward or if he was tempted to stop you and comfort you, you could not tell because you had never walked out of Satoru’s apartment faster.

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Note: Sorry for any typos, errors, etc. I'll proof-read later... at some point...someday.

For now, I hope you are all well. <3

Thank you for reading!

Next: Part XXVI

@mavs-stuff @witchbybirth @crookedlyaddictedone-blog @tqd4455 @maybe-a-bi-witch @mo0nforme @maliakealoha @zacatecanaaaa @blushhpeachh @astriarose @missesgojosatoru @ba-ks @sukunasleftkneecap @songbirdlully @cole-silas @heijihattorisgf @chokesonspit @hersheyzzz @smolbeanzzz @luciledreamz @avidreadee123 @moonmalice @ratscandaler @sadmonke @allie-jay @username23345 @spin-garden @ashehateaccount @kayzens @blehtotheblehtothebleh @stellasloth @bloopsstuff @cheesemachine44 @tetsuski @rosellerinfrost @catowru @bi-narystars @wondermilka @fortunatelyfurrygiver @shrxui @cc1306 @chili-paste

[opal-owl-flight]

Can you please tell us more about Neo4. What's their background.

“I need your help.”

Thing is -- I dont exactly own that character! Hes owned by @pastille-pain ... I asked them abt his deets, so here it is under the readmore!

His recruitment by 3 is also under the readmore :) (+more notes abt pre-sploon3)

(From my pal)

My Precious Soy Sauz

Aka croissant

Where he comes from is inkopolis

Lived there his whole life actually. A very sheltered kid due to being raised by grandparents that were in Octaria at one point. So they wanted to make sure nothing really happened to him

An only child but he had his cousin (Nakji, Takoyaki) of the three, he'd be the middle child with Nakji and the youngest.

He's got two friends (three if we count malachite -- the smallfrt) outside of the platoon. Dulce, and (unfortunately) Scara

He dating Melon (oc of mine), we know this

Kinda funny it started as her just battling with him cause he was good but then it turned something more

His time before the platoon was mostly

"Hey are you related to that Sauz idol?" Or "hey, you related to that Sauz wrestler?" It got annoying very quickly so he started introducing himself as croissant and nothing else

Aside from that, if he wasn't turfing he was at home reading or watching shows. Guys a very boring person

He's a pretty big OTH fan...

All this above is still the same even while being apart of the platoon minus the constant questions about his relatives and adding college into the mix

He can do some really cool shit when he's focused (like absolutely demolish competition in turf) but he's also easily distracted so I think you can imagine how that goes

His stress relief is shopping (mostly window shopping, very rarely does he actually buy anything)

He never gets too mad but we know the face if he does

Fun fact, you will never catch this man in pants

Short and anything else

Not pants

The only time he's ever seen wearing pants is in his agent gear and that's cause it's what was given to him.

-----------------------

Heres a bonus too, of 3s recruitment of him!

It was a turfing match, and theyve been watching the krak-on user the whole round. They took note of how he responded to stress, to bad calls, and how he acted on his own following calls he had judged as bad. Once it was over, they followed the team into the lobby.

They stand tall against the doorframe theyre leaning against, presence as cold and as commanding as ever.

(Nevermind that Croissant is taller AND older than them, that squid is intimidating as FUCK)

A whistle, calling the team over.

"|May I have a word?|" they sign, "|Ive been watching your team turf for the last few rounds.|"

Scara, the team captain, spits a "Who the FUCK are you."

3s eyebrows raise in surprise. But they should expect it... casual turfers dont usually know their name.

They went to the smaller leagues for a reason. If something happened to a big name in the scene, and its found that they had something to do with it-

No. No. They mentally shake their head. They are NOT picking this person because they are going to be fucking canon fodder.

"|Who I am is not important. Not much, anyway.

I am... interested in one of your teammates.|"

a nod towards Croissant. "|As a krak-on user myself, his performance has impressed me.|"

"Has he now. You seen our losses?? Are you making fun of us??"

"|He has great potential.|" they sign, ignoring the outburst. "|I would like to...|" theres a slight pause. "|...train with him.|"

"I can train my team perfectly, all by myself. Get lost."

They give a cold stare back. "|Im sure that has worked very well for you thus far.|"

The captain didnt seem to want to back down. 3 continues, ear twitching.

"|This request was not aimed towards you, anyway. Im asking him.|"

"BUT-"

"|I want to hear HIS answer.|"

A test. 3 saw that Scara was pushing him around and the only reason they won the match was bc Croissant decided to go his own way. Will he go his own way now?

"Well I know he'll choose to stick with me-"

"Oh I'd love to train with you I like helping others :D"

"You weren't supposed to say that."

3 nods. "|It begins now. Come. We have much to discuss. And as for you.|"

They clack their beak. "|Captain to captain. You need to listen to your teammates more.|"

-----------------------

Once they are in a more private space...

"|Training is only one part of the deal.

I apologize for not being upfront. This is a matter of national security, and I cannot mention much about it beyond base.|"

I suppose Croissant hasnt heard...or at least, isnt into much of the so-called Hero of Inkadia thats plastered everywhere in Inkopolis? If he was, hed at least start thinking of all that being like... "wait all that media was based on something real???"

(3 mentioning national security and a base may also inspire thoughts of "wow this squid's a fucking nerd...")

"|You are free to reject my request if you feel unfit for the task at hand. But where are my manners? I have yet to formally introduce myself.

Topside, I am known as FOR3VRFRSH. Here, I am the Captain of the New Squidbeak Splatoon.

I suppose youve heard of such a force...? No?|

Mm.

|Just know that we keep Inkadia more or less safe from nation-destroying threats.|"

He accepts the offer... but he also wasn't thinking too hard on it cause he saw an opportunity to step away from Scara and took it immediately.

3 nods, beckoning him towards the sewer line. As they walked backwards into base, they signed to him. "|From this point onwards, you will be referred to as Agent...Four.|"

Theres a very slight waver of their hand as they signed the number.

"|You show much promise, from what Ive observed in turf. Dont disappoint me.|"

"The only person I disappoint is that guy, but he's just very critical-"*

Theres a glint in 3s eye, a look of amusement... "|...Overly critical is putting it lightly.|"

"I promise to do my best still."

-----------------------

3 introduces him as the new Agent 4 and I feel Marie just scrunches her nose a bit. Then sees the look in 3s eye...

To the folks from the regions around 3s home (Callie, Marie, Cuttlefish), theyre not subtle about missing her.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?

Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia

I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.

Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.

I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.

Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol

Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.

We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.

On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.

I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.

So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?

What are these acronyms?

[destinysbounty]

Huh. I just dug up an old fan-theory i came up with back when i was like 15. And while its definitely way too weak to hold up against any real scrutiny, it at the very least makes for some mildly interesting fanfic fodder so i thought id share it with the greater fandom hivemind.

(Dont come at me about the holes in this theory btw, i was practically a baby when i came up with this and it was one of my first attempts at theory-crafting. Trust me, ive come a long way since then)

Anyway, the theory goes like this:

While in the lighthouse, Dr. Julien builds a replica of his son. But try as he might to get it to turn on, it never actually works. Whatever special spark brought the first Zane to life is inexplicably absent from this one. So he locks it away in his basement, and never gives it the light of day again. This is the reason Dr. Julien never told Zane about Echo, or brought him with them - because at the time, Echo wasnt even functional. Wouldnt even turn on. Was nothing more than a lifeless shell collecting rust in the basement.

So how, then, did Echo become sentient by season 6? Great question! But uhh heres where the theory kinda starts to go off the rails. So buckle up, folks.

Basically the theory goes that when Zane died at the end of s3, his soul still lingered in Ninjago. And his disembodied spirit eventually found itself drawn to a vessel that was similar to the one he'd lost - one his father had built yet long abandoned. But his new body lacked the memory storage contained within his old one, and his resurrection effectively gave him almost complete amnesia. All he could remember was his name and his purpose (to protect those who cannot protect themselves).

Meanwhile, when Titanium Zane says hes a replica, hes actually completely right about that. Some fragments of his code left behind from his visit to the Digiverse gained sentience and inherited Zane's elemental power, creating the Zane we know and love today.

But the original Zane, the one that died fighting the Overlord, actually ended up becoming Echo Zane. Which then would have explained why Zane had so many holes in his memories after being resurrected, and why his sixth sense became much less active as well - he was only made from fragments of the real Zane's code, after all.

Now, as the big smart grownup i am today, i can look back at this theory my baby self had crafted and poke about a million holes into it. But...idk, i always feel nostalgic about this theory in spite of all that. Not just bc it was one of my first fan theories ever, but also bc it would have such fascinating narrative implications if true.

Like, the idea of Mr. E being Echo? Well, if we apply that to the concept of Echo being the Original Zane, then his hatred for Current Zane takes on a whole new dimension. It also gives me a lot of emotions about the whole Ice Emperor situation, as well as Zane's apparent discomfort towards his own statue.

And what kind of position does that put the rest of the gang in? If they had to choose between saving one or the other - the Zane who died for you, or the Zane who lives for you - which one would they choose? Could they choose? How long do you have to love a replica before it starts to feel more authentic than the original? And in that case, who becomes the 'real' zane? The one you love, or the one you lost?

Again. This theory has more holes in it than the Titanic. Cut me some slack, i was an idiot child and also a novice at making theories. But giving credit where its due, i do think it at least raises some interesting concepts. And Ive always casually wondered what would happen if it turned out to be true.

Like i said. Fanfic fodder.

[herejusttosufferalong]

Hey, I am new to ur blog and totally love it!! Definitely my fav one on here & thank u for putting out ur perspective!

So, idk if this has been discussed here before (been here only for the past 2 days.. will deep dive into it🫡) but just wanted get some things off my chest as this blog seems to be a safe place to voice it out.

1. In one of their recent ivs with Kiss fm when asked about how to get out of the friendzone, he agrees to some extent with Nic, but when the interviewer said "just do a me & stay there", L was immediately jumped in to agree and looked visibly nervous, clearing his throat - this solidifies my opinion that he has feelings for her is and is afraid to confront them.

2. I may be reaching with this one, but I think the cast also knows what's up with them? Like Claudia keeps referring to herself as 3rd wheel, Johnny giving a teasing smile to LN when he talks about N and Luke T glancing at them while saying "fear of falling in love" & "oh, personal advice" when LN talked about insecurities.

3. Not to forget in the friendzone or love iv, she raises her brows & hits him with the paddle as of calling him out for sending "mixed message". Also, when she says "don't call me bro, pal or dude if u kiss me" seems to be directed at him. This is the only interview I couldn't get through cause the tension between them was seeping through the screen.

They definitely seem to have some kind of attraction towards each other but holding off for some reason (in some of the interviews they did prior to the promo tour, the ones they did indoors, he keeps giving her googly eyes & scanning her face with his eyes with a smirk & he wasn't like that with claudia. You can see N doing the same to him on some instances). My guess is that N has her guard up as she said she is cynical about love and probably decided to stay friends with him as it could affect their work life (but the maks slips off time and again). I believe that they caught feelings while filming s3 and it might've surprised both of them (remember, his break up with Jade also happened around the same time, she started dating someone else right after breakup so I cant help but notice how the timeline overlaps). He had just then got out of a LT relationship & probably they didn't want to act on his feelings. I am assuming all their bottled up emotions came out with full force once they reached the end of the promo.

From what I understand, they seem to be having an on/off relationship in terms of their feelings, very much like the ross & rachel dynamic he so often keeps mentioning (he said that Polin never get the timing right which is kinda untrue considering once C realised his love he got P, he seems to be talking about Nic & himself). I think the lines were really blurred & at this moment both of them are confused as to what/how they feel.

Now coming to him dating A, I think for him he believes dating A is safer cause he isn't going to lose anything there but with N if it doesnt work out he is going lose their friendship (like it happened with J for him). He really is like Colin & in L's own words, I hope he "gets some vision" & sees "what is right infront of him". For me, it looks he is probably lost right now & acting out cause he doesnt how to deal with his feelings for N.

Apologies for making it so long, I hope u find time to read it, but i had to get it out of my system cause its getting really tiresome to see people calling them disingenuous & questioning their friendship/love they have for each other & labelling it as PR/fake when in reality their dynamic seems too complicated.

First off, thank you and I really appreciate it!

Secondly, thank you for sharing, I pretty much agree with everything you said.

The only point I will add is in Brazil N mentioned that she used to be more cynical about love but that it was changing. Which was apparently a conversation that her and L had.

Then in the KISS interview she said that she loves love.

This is quite the progression. I'm interested to know what caused this change and why now? I have my suspicions...

[mamadarama]

Omg previous ask back here I am so glad to hear your thoughts and your perspective was really nice!! :D

I do understand that it's meant to be frustrating as part of his character I just didn't know if it was lazy writing or character loyalty HELP cuz I can't tell sometimes

I do also wish his development turns positive because out of everyone in the cast I'd argue he deserves a bad ending the LEAST. Compared to what others have done, Madara is kinda,, tame. Not at all I mean if you compare vigilante justice and resorting to violence to protect your loved ones compared to say,,, martyring 5 students to the point of severe mental damage and indirectly causing mass suicide in your school, Madara's sins (at least, his known ones) are a drop in the bucket even if we estimate indirect casualties.

He's a guy that does bad and damages himself but never once did I at least perceive his actions to be malicious. If anything, I liked him for the fact that he does what he does to be better for others, and that singular thing will always resonate in my heart. I'd pull my hair out and bash my head against the wall if I had to summarize his character because he just ISN'T SIMPLE. I once tried to explain his lore to my sister and I ended up sending her a voice mail that was EIGHT MINUTES LONG and I talk fast.

Ahem anyways yes I do hope they don't bash his character story like whatever the fuck they did with other characters (coughs) (looks at the horror that is matrix) (coughs)

Also I forgot to sign off cuz I was in the middle of my shift but that was me ( @umiedibles ) wow madayumenon talking about Madara fork in the kitchen anyways have a good one I love your whiteboard posts :33 virtual milk and cookie for you 🥛🍪

tbh writing that made me realize id be disappointed if he ends up with anything more than a bittersweet resolution . a true positive everything turns out alright ending wouldnt be as impactful or very "madara". to me at least. after everything hes gone through the best way for his story to end imo would be to have him try and pull off a massive cataclysmic self destructive stunt, have his friends save him from himself (ideally kanata), and after its all over and his armor has been smashed to dust , finally learn to accept that things will never be the same again and thats okay. he still hates himself, he never reconciles with his family , but he stops actively trying to alienate people and starts exercising benefit of the doubt when it comes to other peoples opinions of him ("i dont know what you see in me but thank you regardless" instead of his current "liking me is a mistake on your part and im sorry for you") and that is the biggest piece of character development he could possibly have: accepting life as it is, no matter how unfair it happens to be

as for power scaling the sins of characters..... its unfair to say any of them are worse than any other. ive talked about this before but eichi, although bitter, was well intentioned. it tears him up inside to this day even. tsumugi was naïve. keito got lost in his own fantasies after obtaining a position of power. madara was provoked . and no one in the war got out unscathed. the only real dickbags in enstars are gatekeeper godfather priest etc

also matrix wasnt that bad . rinne is just rinne.

[stars-n-spice]

THOUGHTS ON S3 EP 05:

as always, spoilers under the cut and my thoughts are in no way coherent or in the order of how things happen in the episode

it's just me going to be screaming about whatever comes to mind as i type this

holy shit y'all new comfort episode just dropped!

kid you not, after seeing the episode i deadass went, "Wow, I'm so glad that episode didn't absolutely devastate me!" while I was like,, sobbing

whole episode i was either crying, screaming, or punching a pillow

can't even cry anymore, don't got no tears left

ANYWAYS

I AM AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING CLOWN FOR THINKING WE WERE GOING TO GET A PROPER REACTION/CONTINUATION FROM THE LAST EPISODE

OF FUCKING COURSE THEY WERE GOING TO SKIP OVER IT AND JUST,, FUCKING DIVE RIGHT IN. FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!

what is it with this show and having what would be emotional reactions to heavy things off screen???

fanfic writers you know what to do

anyways,,

Omega being back with Lula :( and her new outfit is so cute I love it so much :((

THEM BEING BACK ON PABU!!!! <3333 and still sleeping in their ship lol

AZI!!!!! HE'S OKAY!!! HE'S ALIVE AND HE'S THERE AND I LOVE HIM AND I MISSED HIM :((

Crosshair practicing :( and his aim just,,, getting worse :(((

CROSSHAIR AND BATCHER ARE SUCH A DUO!! I FUCKING LOVED EVERY MOMENT WITH THE TWO OF THEM,, THE LITTLE PETS AND SMILES CROSS GAVE BATCH UGGHH

will never ever ever ever get over cross and omega's dynamic,, I love them so much and I'm so glad he's back

I don't know how many times i went, "They're all back together!!" in this episode only to remember Tech isn't there and then sob violently

BUT ECHO FINALLY RETURNS - i'm kinda bitter about how he reacted to seeing Omega again because it seemed like,, like he was completely unfazed by the fact she was captured and sent to a hidden facility conducting god know what experiments BUT at the same time,, I could see it being that Echo always knew she was more than capable of escaping on her own so he wasn't too worried but STILL

"What no hug for me?" <- AAGUUHH,, and then the little smirk Crosshair gave after Echo's response,, they have no bad blood, love that

when Crosshair started talking about the facility I fucking KNEW he was talking about Barton IV and i was in so much pain,, agony even

Was NOT expecting them to return but I'm so glad they did because it played such a vital role in Crosshair's growth and returning to it and growing even more,, just,, aguughhh

WHEN HE FOUND MAYDAY'S HELMET,, FUCK FUCK FUCK minutes before that scene i was like "i swear to god if he finds something from Mayday-"

MAYDAY COME BACK YOU DIDN'T DESERVE THAT,, YOU DID SO MUCH :((

Hunter and Cross' dynamic in this was so fun to watch but also had me gnawing on my hands

could NOT get over the fact that they brought the dog with them on the mission, idk why but that's fucking hilarious to me

OMEGA CALLING CROSSHAIR "LITTLE BROTHER" AND CROSS CHUCKLING AT IT SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THEM!!!!!!!!

WHEN WRECKER GAVE CROSSHAIR BACK HIS ARMOR I FUCKING KNEW HE WAS THE ONE WHO KEPT IT AGUUGHHH

god I love Wrecker so much

"Omega trusts him and that's enough for me" FUCK

he wasn't super prominent in this episode but everything he did made me love him more

WHEN HE WAS DIGGING IN THE SNOW?? fucking lost it

THE HUG AT THE END???? FUCKING FINALLY???? THE WAY HE IMMEDIATELY KNEW AND HE JUST,,, FUCK,, RAN UP TO THEM????

like you can tell the whole episode Wrecker was just waiting for the two of them to work things out

i missed all of them so much

it was so good to see them all work together

GOD FUCKING AUGUUHH

THE FIGHT CROSS AND HUNTER HAD??? CROSSHAIR READING HUNTER LIKE A FUCKING BOOK??

when he started to blame Hunter for his failures?? oh fuck as an oldest child that hurt SO much and I was so scared Crosshair was going to pull a "You're the reason why Tech is dead" card

But your honor they are brothers, I love them so much

"i said talk to him, not argue with him!" - "he started it" <- crosshair you cannot beat the youngest brother allegations

hey Crosshair probably didn't tell his brothers about his shaky hands,, ahahahahahaha,aha,,ahh,,,ha..

lmao love that being in a life or death situation and saving each other from it was what made Hunter and Cross start to trust each other

this episode was so great you don't understand

and i'm so happy nothing like,, terrible happened in it

yes I cried a fuckton throughout it but,, at least Omega is still with them and at least Echo is back (for now) and at least they're slowly starting to make up and be a team again

anyways,, nice episode,, can't wait for things to just get worse from here

[exotic-afterhours]

Florida!!!

Warnings: implied cheating,running away,and smut nothing in detail

Florida is the best place to get away after getting divorced you could say I'd never guessed this would happen, we were happy or so I thought but I was not enough for him I needed more he was selfish, greedy, spiteful, and cruel but I stay till I couldn't look at myself in the mirror or look my mother in the eye. I needed an out it was hard he tried to take everything from me but I wouldn't let him. But since the divorce was finalized he hasn't been seen but nobody questions it. I have never felt freer than I am now the sand on my feet with the warm beach water is a breath of fresh air “Destin, Florida” I say in a quiet tone like it was a weight off my shoulders. All my friends are having kids or sticking with their old ways of smoking weed. As I lay in the sand basking in the warm sun I heard my phone ring with the name of the contact in bold lettering “You ran from Australia for another beach but in Florida” is the first thing I hear when our lines connect “Yes.. I did Felix” I say with a sigh “You’ll find someone new too,” he said with sympathy in his voice “I know, I'm gonna let you go lix we’ll talk again soon I promise,” I say as we said our goodbyes I hang up and power off my phone. 

I see a figure walking over to me he wasn't too tall but he was well-built and had a good amount of muscle on him. I can see him walking over to me “Hi” he said with a smile “Hello?” I said confused “Chris I saw you and thought you were beautiful and wanted to talk to you!” he said cheerfully, it's been a while since someone has told me I was beautiful years you could say “Well thank you, Chris, I'm —” I say looking up at him as he's still standing, “do you want to get dinner with me? You do not have to I would understand since we just me,” he said starting to ramble. “Yeah I see no problem with me having dinner with you, also are you Australian?” I ask hearing a strong-ish accent laced in his voice. “ yes I am in here on a small getaway I’ll give you my number” he said with a smile.

I walked into the restaurant Chris had picked out, I found him and sat down we ordered drinks and our food and kept the small talk going and getting to know each other. It was innocent or it was until I found myself undressed in his bed, his hands rubbing up and down my sides gently kissing my shoulder and chest. It was soft and kind as if he knew me and my body like it was the back of his hand. I could feel chills come over my body “fuck me up, Florida” I think to myself. His touch feels like something ive been longing for what ive been missing all my life. “I'll use it up like a drug”. This is the best ive felt in years its pure euphoria when we kiss and when our hips meet. 

This was just a small idea I got and wanted to work on before I lost the motivation but here’s a small one-shot no beta read so kinda shity

(Banner credits to: @cafekitsune )

[kosmicdream]

Ode to Togashi

Stream of conscientious incoherent rant about manga/hxh below, read at your own discretion as i AM NOT EDITING IT: 

While I’m still in the mood to talk about art and what i love about manga, i feel like i wanted to share (some) of my thoughts on why HXH continues to be one of my favorite stories. Togashi’s writing method continues to be probably like, the closest one that i aspire to replicate in my own work, partly because i love to see how much it builds and learns from itself, reinvents itself, ect. But i DONT think Hxh is perfect, even if i wouldn’t change anything about it or togashi’s writing style. 

When I first got into HXH, it was actually through the old anime. I watched that all the way thru before reading the manga, and when i was watching the anime it was during a period of time when i hated all shonen. I still kinda hate “the shonen” model, despite loving many shonen series, but something abt HXH pulled me in to give it a try and i was quickly hooked. I of course, already had experience with YYH growing up as a teen but i somehow missed HXH completely until my early 20s. I had already started trying comics by then, but it was EGGSHELLS and i had not started FFAK at that point.

HXH almost lost me at greed island my first round, ngl. I appreciate it now, andi still think the set up for Greed island was amazing but the arc itself.. I was not into it, mostly cause i think the villain for it was kinda lackluster and i didn’t really think the world of greed island had a strong design sense. There was interesting aspects, i enjoyed Bisque as a new character and she helped carry a LOT of the weight of that arc for me, but it was kind of a drag. IDK if it was also partly the adaptation for that arc, but i didn’t enjoy it much more in manga form either. It just went a bit faster. However, the end of that arc and the final fight was surprisingly brutal and enjoyable, which made me optimistic and helped me to continue. And then the chimera ant arc was the first arc i read ONLY manga first and i truly fell in love with it, obsessed even. That arc, as many readers already know, is probably like the closest thing to FFAK’s “Parent” for inspiration. Obviously, FFAK draws from a lot of things (Trigun is probably the 2nd strongest influence on FFAK) but it isn’t quite the same as HXH. As MUCH as i adore hunter x hunter part of me does cringe and laugh that like, in the end, a battle shonen manga still excited me that much but like.. As MUCH as i clearly love battle manga.. I am so over them. You know? Who cares. IMO. No matter how great it looks, i probably am never going to be more impressed (visually) with an action scene than the ones Yukito Kishiro drew. He did it, He won the action manga game to me. I have no idea what’s actually happening in Gunnm most of the time but as far as the visual spectacle of it all, it literally doesn't even make sense how good his action scenes look. (I could talk a lot about Gunnm too, but i’ll save that for another time IG) Like how the fuck does someone draw that good and it just made everything else by comparison just like, not.. Matter too much to me anymore. Which is great, because I can then look at other aspects for a work rather than just being drawn in by the visuals. And stuff. 

Where i’m at now.. I dont want to read another, even if its drawn well and .. the powers are SO powering or whatever. And i love to draw action scenes, they’re really hard and i still have so much more to go to learn about them. At best, I think im okay at them. But even when i work, i just get tired now so i cut them down a lot. Thats partly because i jsut dont have the time to draw fighting scenes. So i kind of feel embarrassed by a lot of them that ive made, i know I was lazy. Lazy in a way I’m not proud of the result, but im proud of the compromises to get the shit done. Which is the most important think in the end, to juggle your own expectations and limitations with the timeframe you have to get somewhere you need to go. I will still read more action/battle manga in the future.. But im in no rush. And im certain, for the most part, they arent going to teach me anything I don’t already know. They might entertain me and i might be like “..huh!” at a few things, but my expectation for them to do more than that is pretty low. I’m delighted when im wrong, but i cannot deny the apathy towards them is super deep. Togashi to me, is one those authors, that makes me really wake up and realize there’s still a lot of unexpected territory out there. 

He writes like an enthusiastic newbie, not a seasoned old timer that he is, who basically helped popularize the “tournament arc” and “dark edgy shonen” stuff with YYH. All his characters in HXH are geniuses, which is kind of a valid critique and can be annoying as hell too… Id say most readers dont really get how the hell nen works, yet somehow the story still functions so well in its character motivations/conflicts that it kinda doesn’t matter too much that.. It doesnt really make sense? We have to relearn what nen is basically every arc. Its not gonna stick. And yet im just so excited every time it updates and i really want to know what he wants to do with his new arc, if he is going to be able to do it. Nen to me is like a fake fantasy science that is tangible and real yet also you’re in a dream and you try to read the letters on a page, and you can read it but if you stare hard at it. The words are just blurs, or it doesn’t really connect. I like that there’s this malleable illusion that it functions in a way, that is concrete, but it isn’t really. But its enough that i can believe that for the characters, who are also not real, it is real for them. 

The fact that i can talk about “”””NeN””” like this to me is essentially why it becomes the perfect shonen to me because it takes itself so seriously, so genuinely, yet it also is nonsense but not in the way where its like.. Irony poisoned, “gotcha” twists? Im sick of all these subverting shonens that arent subverting anything. Or even just the attitude that is what makes a good shonen these days is to subvert, diminish, laugh, ect at shonen while completely stepping inside the same footprints again and again. So much manga just wants to be dragon ball, but dragon ball was good cuz it was just a fun, well drawn action manga that wasn’t trying to BE dragonball. It was just dragon ball. (maybe now its trying to be dragon ball, which is why i dont care about whatever sequel attempt we’re at now, but that’s another story.) Its fun to me that i dont know if Gon is gonna come back in Hxh. like, maybe he will and his powers will be restored ect.. But at the time of writing this, and for YEARS we just.. Have the main pals of the manga separated. Their friendship has changed. There’s a great shift in it. Gon met his dad, who sucks, but that kind of was his main quest. Sure, we have kurapika’s arc, and many other routes to go - but in a weird way HXH is done and it isn’t done at the same time. I’m just like, what are we going to do now. TOGASHI said flat earth real and was like, the other half of it is UNEXPLORED AND SO DARN DANGEROUS and theres SOM BIGGGGG DINOSAURS THERE and it just feels so gleefully like.. You’re on the swingset and some kid just keeps having to up the stakes but in the most kid-like way possible. For serious. But Togashi’s 58. But he’s right too, the dark continent IS so cool.. I just imagine leorio going there and getting so sick and shitting mutant diahrea and dying the SECOND he sets foot there and its awesome. That’s NOT what’s going to happen but im delighted at the opportunity.

This is the point where I’m writing something when i take a pause and wonder how the hell i got here. I have skimmed the above written text. Whatever point i think i was going to make, wasn’t made, but i expressed.. good feelings here. This is how i write. I typed all of that in about 15 minutes with no idea where it was gonna go. Part of the process now would be to go back, organize, edit, ect. To *TRY* to make it a little more comprehensible, as with all writing. Believe it or not i have gotten better at editing my own work. But the true nature of it all is still the same. And its the same in the way that i dont want, no matter how much i improve at my craft, i dont want to lose that enthusiasm i feel when i reach 58. I think that would be such a triumph, id be so lucky to be able to muster that energy. When I think of togashi, i think he has that. He has that real artistic spark that no amount of time/experience has ever diminished and that’s why i think he’s truly my personal favorite mangaka.  (maybe tezuka too)

[findafight]

i do want catws opinions!! so much!!! mcu cap am was one of my major interests for quite some time, so i am Very interested! tbh don't much care for the rest of the mcu all that much, like ive seen quite a few of the movies but absolutely far from all of them. and like tbh i cared the most about catfa & catws and then steve and his relationship with people, idk i just love his character so much, I've done some sort of analysis inside my head of his character, but it's been A While so i don't remember any of it in words, just vibes lol. also idk how i feel about cacw, it just sorta didn't feel like His story, it felt more like avengers 2.5 or smth.

also related to steve & peggy, i feel like the thing that makes their story stay so strong Is the missed opportunity, the longing for something that can never be. it's this thing that was on the brink of possibility, and where the potential was so big and tangible, and they both felt it, and then all of a sudden the possibility is gone, it's lost, forever. idk like i think steve going back in time to dance with peggy would be sweet, But, it just doesn't move me as much unless peggy also knows that the moment is a promise fullfilled and a dream that can never be, it's one more aching moment together and then it's goodbye. idk like i thought the scene in endgame when they danced was absolutely beautiful, but to me it is a dream, and to me it feels kinda disrespectful to all of them(steve peggy & bucky) to have steve go backwards, that's not him, maybe when he first woke up after the ice, if presented with the possibility he wouldn't be able to resist, but otherwise his character is LITERALLY about getting back up again!! and then also peggy had a life?? with someone else!! and she was happy with her life! he literally knows this, he talked to her when she was old! why would he disregard that?? and then why would he live the rest of his life knowing bucky is the winter soldier and then NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT????????? idk it's just like, when SO MUCH of steves story is so closely intertwined with bucky it just doesn't make any sense to leave him??

also while i am a romantic stucky believer, truly more than that i am a soulmates stucky believer! so the stobin tws au really really hit me in the feels yk.

Okay so. What makes CAWS so good, and one of the best mcu films, is that it uses superheroes not as a genre, but as a vehicle for a genre. Winter Soldier is a spy thriller. Arguably TFA also does this by being a war film? But WS embraces it. It's so clearly a spy thriller with a superhero setting! More superhero movies should have co-genre I think. It can be watched as a stand alone, with good solid introductions to characters, to the point that it's bascially the only mcu movie I've watched with my mother that she hasn't asked "who's that?" and why they were doing stuff. Basically every other one, besides the first in their series require prior knowledge of characters for most of the impact of them.

WS doesn't? We see Steve and Natasha have a friendly relationship, that steve's a supersoldier and also takes risks (no parachute), that they're some kind of soldiers, that there's some secret operations going on. We get this! Then we meet Sam and we see that Steve is also incredibly lonely, we see him at the Howling Commandos exhibit, and sure maybe it's hamfisted by focusing on bucky or whatever but that sets it up! we now who steve is, why he's lonely, and some of his values.

and even without TFA, as soon as the mask comes off, we know this is someone steve knows. When he insists on saving Bucky, he uses the line "even when I had nothing, I had Bucky" having watched tfa before just makes it hit harder.

I'm going to be real with you I've watched civil war once and was like "this is kinda stupid? very stupid" and then stopped really paying attention to most marvel movies.

oh yes so true about Steve and Peggy. It's compelling because the could have beens. If that had happened, but then steve went back to present, I would not be mad. It wouldn't be weirdly stealing someone else's life? Especially combined with the Agent Carter Tv series, Peggy has closure for Steve's death. Though it's still an ache, and she mourns and misses him, she's still living her life. She isn't caught up on him as a romantic interests. She has multiple (they should have given us more cartinelli tbh we were robbed in s2) in the series! She had a good, long, and happy life. Steve just dropping in sometime in the 40s(?) with the expectation of pursuing a romantic relationship with her would likely be a shock, and unwanted. They both would have changed from where they left off, both having mourned each other and their relationship. It wouldn't have worked! But to have him drop in. tell her "hey. I can't stay for long. I'm sorry it has to be this way. But I owe you a dance, and it's been killing me breaking a promise to my best girl." That!!! would have!! been! so sweet! A final goodbye for both of them. The final closure and fulfilled promise from oh so long ago.

Steve had spent at least ten years out of the ice before endgame. I just. How could they slide him back to what he would have done directly after being thawed? Like I don't think even lost sadman beginning of ws steve would have stayed back. He's changed and he can't go back to what things were. he keeps getting up, even when he shouldn't! That's what's endearing about Steve, his stubbornness, and his willingness to put himself on the line to protect people. That's why he was the first and only (official) American supersoldier. He carries on, even when it's almost unbearable for him to do so.

It's so... It felt cheap and insulting to him and Peggy and Bucky. Because you're correct!! It means Steve went back to nineteen fourty-whatever and chose not to do anything about the 80+ years of horrible things that happened in the world. Especially chose not to do anything when he knew exactly where Bucky, who he had previously jumped behind enemy lines with nothing but a wing a prayer and a shield to save, who he had defied governments for, who he's nearly died for multiple times, was??? how in the WORLD did the same screenwriters and directors who made one of the best marvel movies that highlighted and used their friendship in such a compelling way also write/direct that for them? how? valuing romance over any other kind of relationship I guess?

yeah I think what's compelling about stucky is that there is so much love there, that they've known each other for their whole lives, and will continue to be (or should be) a vast part of each other's worlds no matter what that relationship looks like. They're soulmates, whatever that looks like for them. and if it's romance then that romance is built upon the deep devoted friendship they have. That's everything about them. Everything is built on a sickly and scrappy kid who couldn't leave well enough alone and got pushed into the dirt by bullies he stood up to over, and over, and over again, and some charming schmuck who looked at him and thought "I'm gonna help him keep get back up". to the point where they broke over half a century of brain washing because of it.

[randomvarious]

Today's compilation:

Ccommd IV 2002 IDM / Abstract

Continuing this foray into the now-ancient, pre-social media days of online music community building with this highly ephemeral, half-decent IDM comp from 2002 that was made by the message board denizens of the website of Warp Records. Warp itself had long carried the torch of being the world's premier IDM label, and the folks who contributed to this album seem to have been highly inspired by a bunch of their own acts, like Aphex Twin, Squarepusher, Autechre, Boards of Canada, and a whole bunch of others.

And knowing that these musicians loved Warp to the point that they'd be regular contributors to its own message board kinda makes me feel that, while listening to this, I am myself someone at the label who's constantly seeking out fresh talent and wades through neverending, enormous piles of demos that they've received. And I've just happened to pop this Ccommd IV CD into my changer to see if anything might catch my ear 🤞.

Except, in reality, I didn't actually find this one on CD, because apparently, virtually no one can. It's not currently for sale on Discogs, it's never been sold there, and only 4 users on the site claim to own a copy right now. Super rare!

But thankfully, although it's been long out of print, the UK-based collective that was responsible for putting it out originally, TEFOSAV (The Electronic Foundation of Sound and Vision) records, has made it available on their own Bandcamp site for free, which is where I was able to come across it 👍.

So what we have here in the fourth installment of this Warp-inspired series, as is probably somewhat average for someone who gets tasked with listening to demos, is a comp with a good deal of half-baked clunk on it and a few nice gems too. The album hits back-to-back with Sktbx's "Wikal - Butcheredcetacea Mix" and Orange Dust's "Bitmap Sunset," both of which should have you feeling like you've come across a pretty sweet, nearly-lost-to-the-y2k-Internet-sands-of-time IDM goldmine. But most of what then follows that beginning turns out to be pretty underwhelming 😔.

That is until the grand finale, with Autofire's "Boots Akid (Nautilus Remix)," which is one of those songs that specializes in the art of splicing together multiple split-second samples of various bits of sound in order to construct melodies and rhythms out of them. I especially love when people do this type of stuff because I feel like it's such a meticulous process to make these collages in the first place, and it also happens to throw up a big middle finger and shit-eating-grin to the absurd copyright police, who can't sue you if the provenance of the minuscule bit that you've sampled is actually unknowable 😁. That said, though, I'm pretty sure I can hear the distinct voice of a very prominent TV character in this one. Not gonna give it away for fear that some big, evil, corporate web scraper comes across this post and files a cease-and-desist and/or lawsuit because of me—these posts show up in Google searches, folks!—but I'm pretty sure I'm hearing that voice. And Nautilis, by the way (yes, I know, I spelled it as Nautilus before, because that's how it was written on the tracklist!), had already made his first release on Mike Paradinas' (µ-Ziq) Planet Mu label the year before this album itself was released.

So, I had a feeling that I knew what I was getting myself into with this from jump, because most comps of this type aren't likely to consistently knock it out of the park, but given that fact, this album was still able to satisfy enough. So far, this little online y2k-era archaeology project of mine's been fun, even if a good portion of the music's ended up leaving a bit to be desired.

And for more posts like this one, check out Finnish label Luumu's Into the Core of Luumu and this double-disc that was made by folks from the ambient mailing list of pioneering online electronic music resource, Hyperreal, too ✌️.

Highlights:

Sktbx - "Wikal - Butcheredcetacea Mix" Orange Dust - "Bitmap Sunset" Pro(xy) - "D.C.K." Autofire - "Boots Akid (Nautilus Remix)"

[arisherifeu]

Broken People Part III

Author’s Note: Im asking myself how did this story ended up getting part III? That’s the the thing about impulsive writing. It just happens. ໒(⊙ᴗ⊙)७✎▤

WARNING ‼️- DRUG ABUSE

Part I Part II Part IV

Last night felt like fever dream for Lynette. House came, struck a fight, James got angry, she confessed she was using drugs to stabilise her chronic migraines that comes every time she moves and today, she was still not going to work. It was already 5 am and she attentively watches James sleeping on the couch where he offered to stay for the night.

Lynette went over at the couch but she sat on the floor, her back against the couch. Carefully trying not to wake James up. She brought her knees to her chests as she contemplates on what to do with herself. She knew what she needed to do. But she was scared. She loves being a doctor. She didn’t want to lose any credibility. A part of her was hoping that House wouldn’t say anything at all. Not to anybody. Because she heard stories about how ruthless House can be. She was scared and intimidated by how powerful House was at the hospital. Would she be spared from his ruthlessness? It wasn’t fair to her. Because House was just as guilty as he supposed to be. This hospital would be bankrupt if anyone exposed what House did to his patients despite saving their life. Lynette was thinking hard. She got too worried.

But a gentle pat on her back relinquished her from all the evil thoughts. She lifted her head to the side to see Wilson sat up, looking at her endearingly. “I hope you’re feeling a little bit better today.” He wished.

And to be honest it kinda did. Just a little bit better.

______________________________________

James decided to stay at home together so they can talk things out today. He was just so glad that he already settled down all his patients charts and the medicine to be prescribed to them today. So, he doesn’t have to worry about work at all. While Lynette got herself sorted out in the shower room, James helped himself to her kitchen trying to make something out with the things he found in the fridge. For someone who doesn’t eat much like Lynette, he was just really glad the fridge and the pantry were stocked with food. He decided to make a heavy breakfast for her to start off the day. So he managed to make eggs, toasts and sausages with cut up apples on the side.

Lynette walks in the kitchen smelling something so delicious. With towel on her head, cropped shirt that display her awfully skinny body with protruding bones in her baggy sized jogger pants that dropped lower than her waist. James unconsciously eyes her again. He couldn’t stop worrying. Hoping that she will never ever fell and break her bones.

“I made a heavy breakfast.” He smiles.

“It smells nice, James.” She smiles back.

They both sat together at the eating table. Face to face as they eat in silence. Lynette didn’t gobble up the food at once like she did before. She was slightly scared that she might throw up again so she ate slower as she can.

“I can’t thank you enough..” she started. She was still looking at her food. To be honest, she was still shy. She was timid as she was yesterday after listening to the whole ordeal about the fight yesterday with House.

“It’s fine. I am just sorry that he went through your personal record. But trust me, he means well. He just can’t put it into good words..He understands..you know hes on vicodin..” James began.

Lynette just kept eating in silent. James doesn’t push her with anything except to eat silently with her too because he knows its hard for her to admit to everything thats happening. He was also worried about the fact that the relationship started off on the wrong foot.

“I lost my dad at the hospital I used to work before Princeton..I jeopardised the whole operation thinking that I knew better than the doctors who had his chart. That was my dad and I couldn’t let anything happen to him. He was the only I had left. So I..” Lynette stopped, subtly choked on her food. Trying hard to swallow the food with the glass of water in her hands.

“You don’t have to tell me the story if you don’t want to. You don’t owe me anything.” James clarify. He held her left hand. Lynette looks deeply into his eyes, feeling comforted but she knew in the end he will found out about her maybe from someone else’s mouth so she decided to come clean with it. It’s the best way to get this relationship stabilised.

“You just need to understand, I am not the person you know today or these 6 months before. I was different. How I was back then was just the consequences of self negligence. I did it, with my dad in my mind hoping he would still be alive on that table when the doctors cut him. But I was wrong, it was never the heart, even when he has the condition before. It was his head. But even with all the blackmails I did to the doctors, to force them carve open my dad’s heart. It was already enough to send me into some sort of vortex. My license should have been revoked but I was saved. Then all I know I was already here. Then my migraine came and haunt me. It wouldn’t stop hurting. I feel pain every time I move anywhere. So I took the pills and they help.” She stopped there.

By then, James already stopped eating his food. James silently stares at her unknowingly that he has been caressing her left hand and never let go. Even when the story ended. Lynette’s heart has never been that fast. She couldn’t hear herself breathe because of how strong the heartbeat of her heart is. Her hand started shaking. James noticed and he just held it more tight. Not letting go. He sat silently. Grieving with her as she tries her best but her body’s started to shake, quite vigorously. James got so worried that he pulled Lynette from the kitchen and bring her straight to the bed where he covers her with the blanket. She was already on the withdrawal phase he suspected.

“When did you stop taking the pills?” He questioned. Lynette was already shaking profusely with sweat all over her forehead. “Last week..” she said but almost sounded like a whisper.

“You didn’t take any pills then? At all?” He questioned again sternly. But Lynette can only shook her head trying to deal with the pain in her head.

“You’re doing so well. You look better. You’re gonna get better in a couple more days.” He motivates. James was astonished at the woman’s durability. James passed her a cup of water to chug. Which helps to stabilise her electrolytes. James hugged her the best way he possibly could so he could stop the shaking. Which did help Lynette to become more calmer.

She was way worse before in the last week when she first stopped taking the pills. Her head pain worsens, nausea and vomiting everywhere. She doesn’t even have the energy to clean her own mess that she would leave it for a few days till maggots formed around it. She slept on her bed for a few days dealing with her pain, crying. But she had to go to work. She was so good at hiding her pain when nobody else watches. Even James didn’t realised that her demeanour changed. Lynette can only feel glad that the withdrawal doesn’t seemed as bad and that only her head hurts and she was glad that James doesn’t see her worst side.

Lynette suddenly shot up, James was taken aback. Lynette started running towards the toilet and vomit all the content that she had. James trailed behind and held her hair up, stroking her back while she vomits all that she can.

“We gotta go to the hospital, Lynette.” James started.

“No. I am not going anywhere near a hospital.” Lynette resisted.

“But we gotta do scans, we gotta do MRI. We can find if there’s anything we can do to subside your migraine.” He tries to convince. Lynette slowly closed the lid of the toilet, and flushed the contents. She sat with her back against the wall, looking at James weakly. She already has to deal with the pain but now she has to resist James knowing James can just force her to get the scans. But she was adamant, she can fix this on her own. James started to spoon her, and carry her with ease to the couch. He was worried at the lack of fat she has in her body considering her weight was like a feather.

James gave her more water by filling up a bottle and hand it to her to drink. She drank willingly. James also brought her unfinished food to the couch table, in hoping she can try to eat again. Lynette willingly takes another bite at the toast, slowly chewing. She was afraid to vomit again but she was hungry. She needed the energy. Thankfully, she managed to eat everything even though she took around an hour and a half to finished them all.

By then, she has some energy to walk around in the house. Just pacing around. James watches attentively to everything she was doing. She decided to do housework and started uncovering her bed sheets and pillow sheets but James sighed and went up to her.

“I will do it. If you let me?” He requested but more commanding. He held her forearms very gently.

“It’s fine, James. I need something to distract myself right now.” Lynette said looking at him, feeling kind of cranky.

“But what you need is rest..” he looked at her with his puppy dog eyes.

“Is that how you flirt with most women?” She scoffed, feeling blushed looking at his soft eyes.

“It still works.” James smiling shyly at her.

Lynette softened. She looked at James with the most smitten look on her face that she immediately blushed right after. She went over to her drawer to get fresh sheets to hide her blushes.

“Can I ask you a question?” James asked.

“Shoot.” Lynette responds after passing him right side of the bed sheet so James could fit his side of the edge.

“Do you have someone before this?” He questioned nonchalantly while Lynette stopped in her tracks, feeling weirded out by the question.

“Well I haven’t been thinking about it for quite some time now..had that monkey love when I was at school..but that was like 7 years ago. I couldn’t be bothered with this because of my dad.” She answered and she finally got the left side edge fitted on to the mattress, leaving the pillow sheets left.

“Is it still recent? About your dad?” James asked again.

“Well yeah..it’s technically last year. Tomorrow night should be his first death anniversary.” Lynette answered finally got the new bedsheet sorted in with James’s help. Lynette lay on the bed feeling a bit tired just from doing that small chore. James just sat beside her, arms stretched out holding his weight while his legs stretched across the bed.

“I’m not just some damaged goods right..?” Lynette questions.

“Why do you think so?” James asked worryingly. Lynette took a minute to answer because she was nervous, so she decided to lay on her other side so she doesn’t have to look at James.

“I don’t like the look in your eyes James. You’re looking at me as if Im damaged beyond reparable. You look nice. But your eyes are telling me I am just too different than any other person you saw. It’s the same look you give House too.. sometimes I see how you looked at him and I wondered if it was true…that I am just the girl version of him. Thinking that if you could fix me .. maybe there’s a way for you to fix him..” Lynette finished. James looked defeated. He loves Lynette for she was but she was needy. She needed someone on her side and James decided to stepped up to the role. He hated how House was right that he always comes to the rescue when this case happened.

James was frustrated but he couldn’t say anything. Instead he got up and walk out. Lynette got up and trailed behind him but as soon as she saw James reaching for his jacket and walk towards the door, Lynette ran after him. An adrenaline rush throughout her whole body. She rushed to hug him from behind. James was surprised because of the momentum his body felt when she hugged him.

“Even if it was true! I…I don’t want you to leave. I have no one else..” Lynette trembled, because she was desperate to stay connected to the feeling that she has right now with James. It was the one thing that could make her keep going. Something that she could look forward to. James was saddened, as if he didn’t feel the same epiphany before because he knew, he relied too much on House as well and wanted House to change and be someone like Lynette. House is his best friend. But with Lynette it’s so much different.

James turned his body and looked at Lynette with his left hand on her jaw, feeling her warmth, his thumb caressing it. He looked in her eyes with the same puppy dog eyes he always have. “Do you trust me enough when I said I love you?”

[armedinkblot]

i dont make fan theories often bc i tend to daydream off into things that cant possibly be real, but i think maybe this new mimic game preview, where they look like puppet, proves a theory i had a while ago

hear me out please

charlie is glamrock freddy

OKAY OKAY SO HEAR ME OUT THOUGH-

SO in security breach we know that something is odd with freddy. logically ive always kinda chalked it up to the fact he probably has the best antivirus bc hes the lead man so thats why he doesnt attack gregory after vanny's tampering bc personally ive never felt good about michael possessing him

(i get why people like that but michael was only kept alive bc of the scoopers remnant, so if you guys want him to be the mc in fnaf6 hes gotta be dead, pick one please i see good fuel for both)

so who is freddy??? well hold onto your socks bc i got something that you mightve already thought about idk BUT someone in the fnaf6 ending was never a remnant being and wasnt shown dying--

we get so many hints at puppet everywhere (the wiring, the dolls, yanno youve prolly seen them pointed out already), but there is no mention of charlie/puppet ANYWHERE by name to gregory

so heres my idea:

we know through sources that remnant is what happens when soul matter touches metal, and that if there is no reaction between a souls agony and some kinda steel, remnant aint happenin. remnany is functionally what made william/springtrap 'immortal' and michael survive ennard. we know thats what henry was aiming to melt down to undo the binding of the souls and the metal in fnaf6.

but puppet was never metal. every time we see puppet, it floats around or wiggles like a plushie. puppet is a fluffy soft toy that clearly does NOT have any bones.

wibbly wobbly

we also see it half-transparent in hallways, like- oh yanno- A GHOST???

i know fnaf has strayed further away from the haunted aspect and more into scifi, but what if puppet was our tie to classic haunts this whole time?

id like to point to this line that glamrock freddy says the first time you visit the fnaf6 sinkhole with him:

THE FIRST HALF OF THE MESSAGE: puppet/charlie definitely HAS been here before as we see in fnaf6, and we know that in between fnaf6 and help wanted old fazbear workers brought circuits torn out of scraptrap from the fnaf6 ruins to silver parasol games for scanning and utilizing, and thats more than likely where glitchtrap came from, but what does freddy mean by this?

im not sure exactly

you could argue that its cassidys vengeful spirit forcing charlie to continue clinging to earth in freddy ("she brought me here" if you consider cassidy to be a lil girl) which i personally would not put forcing their friend's spirit to haunt earth as long as part of afton is active past them, theyre a spiteful lil shit) but this isnt the meat of my theory so ill leave it

now the other half of the message, about glamrock freddys friends being angry and confused, really has the same vibe as these two puppet ucn lines to me

i think if theory this is true, this also could be good news for the moltenmci theory that i also subscribe to

ANYWAY these lines have similar energy to me, what with the whole "i am fine and calm but these guys? YEESH theyre cray" thing.

lemme tie it together real quick:

charlie dies and her ghost decides "hey i should stick around to stop william and maybe help those lost babies" so she possesses puppet!

the fact shes a complete spirit and not just the raw emotion from remnant means shes way way WAY more coherant and clever than the other animatronics

in fnaf6 shes put in lefty, which i think henry did to try and force charlies spirit to become remnant by interacting with the animatronic's metal, but it doesnt work bc charlies already a ghouly ghoul and aint havin that

so when the pizzeria simulator place burns down, sure the puppet and lefty were gone but was charlie's spirit? NO bc it wasnt remnant! fire doesnt touch ghosts silly casette man!!!

thats why, lemme draw your attention to the fact that CHARLIE IS NEVER SHOWN GETTING FREED:

SHES NEVER SHOWN IN THE ENDING BC ITS SYMBOLIC FOR HER STILL BEING AROUND

so what happened after that? well security breach takes place in and above the sinkhole that once was the fnaf6 location. spirits, in many folklores, do not tend to stray too far from their resting place most of the time

so if charlie, now a freed spirit with nowhere to go and nothing personal to possess (sorry about your puppet), finds out that afton is still possessing endoskeletons and having his brainwashed people kill people for funsies bestie? she aint having that

this was the kid that decided instead of just passing on to heaven or whatever, to STAY BEHIND AND HELP THE OTHER KIDS TAKE WILLIAM DOWN. she is described by henry as selfless and always helping others instead of herself

also need i remind you of charlies most famous act of trying to help (but accidently making things worse by prolonging the suffering instead of 'giving life'?)

this bitch would 100% possess the strongest thing she could to try and stop him, the strongest being glamrock freddy.

now after years of being manipulated into being freddy and acting as him/working with his programming, she might not have a clear understanding of who she once was. so, when glamrock freddy says "i found myself for the first time when i cleared the path" what if he means she remembered what she originally came here to do?

what if she left all the calling cards on purpose? what if she left the plushies around as a reminder of who she is so she doesnt forget why shes still tied to earth? so she remembers to stop afton instead of just let the programming take over?

bc if you remember, we're all fairly certain william only runs away to balloon boys voice in fnaf3 bc of the animatronic's programming it wouldnt be too out of place for charlie to struggle with it too, tho in a different way.

as for mimic...

the REAL reason i wanted to bring it up is bc this looks like puppet. this music box plays the puppet song my grandfathers clock, and then mimic pops out.

the most common question i see is why mimic is referencing puppet, and my theory explains that:

if charlie is in the pizzaplex, then mimic probably knows all about her. everything about her. tales from the pizzaplex has an ongoing plotline where mimic is literally stalking and studying the other characters obsessively, so whos to say his connection in the baobab tree didnt get him access to ""memory files"" or whatever its called when agony/remnant is imprinted on circuitry like with scraptrap and glitchtrap.

so yeah, heres my theory on what happened to charlie and whos REALLY possessing glamrock freddy!!!

i wrote this at 6AM after pulling an all nighter sorry if its hectic and poorly written; i actually wanna make a theory video bc i really think i have something substantial here, but idk how well recieved this would be hehe

i will also accept chica being possessed by charlie bc of twisted animatronic's videos on chicas crying and fighting the hacking

thanks for reading!!! pls be nice im scared lol

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

this is another "post that was in the tags of another post but the tags got too long so now its its own post" post

so i saw another post abt saying "thank you" instead of "sorry" and i remembered how i first saw someone giving that advice a long time ago and it made me realize how much ive incorporated it into my speech since and how helpful its been. like ive heard this advice get dunked on a bit since then but it rly is so much better for both parties. like ive heard it helps some people unlearn shame about their own harmless actions but even besides that its made so many conversations so much easier for me. saying 'i appreicate u being patient btw ik i tend to ramble/get excited' or something is sm better than 'sorry i talk sm' cuz the latter might make the person feel obligated to reassure u at best but the former makes the other person feel like they r a good friend for listening to u. and ofc other ppl have said this before but i just kind of wanted to share the ways its been useful for me.

whenever i suddenly realize that ive lost a bit of self awareness and control when rambling thanking the other person for listening/being patient while i get to my point is gen sm more helpful. like even besides the fact that theres no point in apologizing for something ultimately harmless that ive always done and am never gonna be able to stop from happening sometimes it lets u jus kinda keep talking seemlessly too. like if u say sorry an they're nice theyll prob stop and reassure u, which sucks bcz if you were just enthusiastically rambling abt something u probably dont want the conversation to suddenly turn into a conversation about the way you tend to ramble. assuming the other person is willing/would like you to continue and you're not done you probably just wanna stop and be considerate of the other person for listening real quick before continuing, and thats why an thank you allows the conversation to continue much more smoothly than an apology.

an ofc it applies to other situations too if u feel the instinct to offset shame to combat ur social anxiety this gives u an alternative to apologizing, which other people have talked abt but theres a lot of unspoken communication that happens in an apology vs a thank you that most people arent even aware is happening. like i started saying 'thanks for hanging out w me i had fun!' after outings an ppl always seem to respond well and it kind of helps to offset my anxiety abt if a social outing went well. like thinking "what if i committed a major faux pas and everyone knows abt it but me" sucks because there isnt a way to address those feelings directly without basically accusing the other person of secretly being mad at you, but what you can do is acknowledge as far as you're concerned, the social interaction went well (not to mention if the other person is having the same anxieties you are this can be helpful to them to). like well at least they know i had a good time an enjoy/appreciate their company thats all i can do. i did my best to be kind and respectful and if i did something wrong and they aren't telling me i simply cannot account for their feelings. however they felt/feel abt it is out of my hands.

anyway i might edit this post later cuz i gotta go to work i just had to get this out real quick hopefully this is helpful to some ppl :)