#ive never been this kind of sad | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

your-average-gay-dork · 5 months ago

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my heart is so heavy :/// when will this shit get lighter

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wtfforged · 8 months ago

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more cats keep appearing on my canvas idk what to tell you boss

wanted to post the separate parts too :)

#wtf... art #i have so so so so many thoughts about cat zoro i dont even know where theyre coming from #like an overwhelming amount. whenever im stressed or sad i just start making cat zoro headcanons. i never maKe headcanons for my fixation #ive never been this kind of person. whats happening to me. looking at my hands. trembling.#one piece fanart #roronoa zoro #zoro #one piece zoro #black leg sanji #one piece sanji #sanji

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sparklecarehospital · 22 days ago

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Also we picked out a release date. It is sooner than you guys think

#text #the crew has been beta testing and helping me find errors and such in transcripts and the sort #once the lore page is done- which won't take long- and ive corrected all these little errors All Systems Are A Go.#if there are errors we missed in the testing process don't worry- there is a bug report page you can submit issues you see or run into!#its so fucking weird how TANGIBLE this is. like. its right fucking here we're here i literally cannot believe it #all these months of working 😭😭😭 it felt like it would never end #kind of sad that this was still shorter than the v2 hiatus :sideeye:#site revamp devlog

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drawnfamiliarfaces · 1 year ago

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jack sadicer

#xiaolin showdown #jack spicer #xs omi #omi #ive been obsessing over one old sad spicer hours comic and since then ive been in this #strange sad spicer kind of mood yaknow??? its like remembering an emo phase i never had lol

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sci-bax · 16 days ago

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Sebastian Solace sleeping peaceful in 4k hyper resolution oculus meta quest 2 quality

Drew him sleeping cause of this:

Same drawing but without the slight darker filter over it:

I wanna draw fish man angst

Also its 4am so im going to sleep goodnight, or goodmorning idk

#I gave him glowy eyelids #art #sci-bax #sebastian solace #pressure #sebastian solace fanart #pressure fanart #fanart #small artist #Ive been getting more into the lore of Pressure and more interested in Sebastians lore #and in the past few days it sunk in just how horrible his situation really is:(#At 19 he was wrongfully convicted of murdering 9 people and right before his execution he was taken by some shady company who experimented #on him and turned him into a monster and even after he was confirmed innocent they never told him #he likely had to find out about it by reading his own file #cant even the amount of mental anguish hes probably in constantly. Even if he escapes Urbanshade he'll still a swamp monster #Feared and ostracised from the rest of humanity. Him imaging his mother seeing him and being horrified not even recognising him as her son #hope he can swim cause if he escaped the only place that hed be accepted in would probably be the ocean #ive got headcanon that he avoids mirrors cause of what hes become #i love fish man angst #pressure sebastian #sebastian fanart #sebastian #sebastian pressure #fandom #roblox #artists on tumblr #digital artist #this drawing is kind of just a fun doodle ive got some actual art ill post tomorrow or whenever i finish it #does this count as angst if the post is positive but the tags are sad? idk im tagging it anyways #angst

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forestgreenlesbian · 8 months ago

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#feel like my relationship with my younger brother is changed completely forever not to be dramatic lol but i am sad #we used to b very close but he has kind of. found his faith again and gone full missionary christian which like. i knew meant the dynamic #was doomed lmao but actually acknowledging it makes me sad i feel like i'm grieving for the friendship we used to have even though #it is literally a me problem i think from his perspective he doesn't think anything has changed. but i feel weird about everything #also his new gf is nineteen and he is. almost 25 and i am the only one who feels weird about it like i know she's over 18 but! idk i can't #tell if i'm being overly cautious or if my gut instinct is right. my sister & her husband have a similar age gap but they met when they wer #both over 30 so like. it didn't feel weird. and i didn't feel comfortable actually seriously talking to him about it apart from the first #time he mentioned her over facetime (he went to another country to do mission stuff & met her there) so like an idiot i've just been #making jokes about the age gap becausee like. thats always been our thing lightly bullying each other lol but he blew up at me and said #i've had nothing positive to say about her since he's been back home and that he thinks i hate her and i'm out of line for constantly #implying he's creepy for dating someone younger. idk i felt like such a freak idiot horrible person about it. it completely blindsided me #bc yes the jokes were coming from a place of idk how i feel about this situation so i'm going to rely on the humour-based communication #we have always fallen back on as a safety thing but i guess i was wrong or the dynamic shifted or something anyway it's all fucked #& everyone is just telling me i feel weird out of some?? misplaced kind of jealousy thing?? because i'm 'losing' my brother to his gf lol #which does not feel right at all he has dated so many other girls and i have never had a problem it is literally the age gap like i haven't #even met this girl i'm sure she's very nice! i just worry about her being nineteen!! jesus. and yes maybe i do feel some resentment around #a brother younger than me who seems to be able to live his life with zero difficulty whilst i'm stuck being this unemployed loser who ruins #literally ever friendship & relationship ive ever had but i think thats ok right like i can't help feeling that. i don't fucking knowwww #am i just projecting all these sad feelings about our friendship dying onto his new relationship or like. am i right to be genuinely #concerned she's six years younger than him and still a fucking teenager!!!!!! i don't know

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foreverxdaydreaming · 2 months ago

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x

#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people #'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately #mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year #familys always got me up the wall #i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED #it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG #ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again #wtf is the purpose #i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth #how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit #years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing #and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be #of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying #(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired #and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness #and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot #to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding #common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm #but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies #if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol

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itissadbutitsmy-artblog · 6 months ago

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more. i dont like making aus like this except i have to get to the end of it so itll all be rounded out. i drew a lot of these and they brought me joy

these all kinda flow into one another so they go in one post but they arent consistently colored or paneled. well who cares. i need to see them

its an alternate ending of this(x) and a continuation of this(x). i have too many comics falling around.

#i refuse to be consistent in how i panel comics. i have to. be. inconsistent.#larry and spader are the kind of people to have a secret timeloop codeword. they have like. different scenarios all planned out #this was never ever ever one of them. :)#adventure time #wizard city #au #digital #spader also has a separate timeloop escape plan with blaine for if larry is stuck in one and going evil. hes sure this is a possibility #that seems like a spader kind of thing to me #anyways.#if no one else will make content at ALL? i will make aus of aus and dig myself into holes. fuck you #his little 'thats not funny' face is making me sad. dont joke about that blaine.#spader looking at how Serious larry just got about that: oh. huh.#people being sad about me. houh.#spader like I TOOK THAT CODEWORD TO THE GRAVE LARRY. ACTUALLY. LITERALLY.#i have one more bit i like but this post is long. ill see if i can make the other one good and post it separately then i think ill be done #with this dumb thing #<3 #ive never been into bodyswap aus but this is. different its. different its abt. grief. its. about blaine. wanting the best for their friend

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kirkwallguy · 1 month ago

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how i imagine the beginning of marcus' buzzcut era went down:

marcus (trying to distract himself from the fact that he regrets cutting his hair): I should take a clipping of your ponytail and keep it in a locket. Since we're going to be apart for a while. People used to do that a lot during the war.

anders: oh marcus..... that's so romantic 🥺 take as much as you want 😟 take it all if you must. 😩

marcus: I only need a lock.

anders: oh.... 🙃 okay.....

marcus: You should keep some of mine as well. Just in case... (suddenly realises he's talking about dying) I have a spare locket, in any case.

anders: oh. um..

marcus: You don't want to?

anders: well... it's just i was planning on lining the hood of my winter cloak with it. the colour goes well, black always looks nice against green. and that way i'll always have you keeping me warm 😍

marcus: Okay. Good idea. Resourceful.

bethany (heard the entire exchange and knows she should've intervened when she saw the scissors come out): are you joking?

anders: ...no?

marcus: I'm sorry, is this FUNNY to you?

#i like to think they get extremely weird in the time where theyre literally only interacting with each other and #never come back from it. it's only like 6 months but the damage is done theyre weird forever now #anders probably doesnt make the human hair hood. marcus leaves and he gets sad and mopes.#also marcus' words have to be typed with perfect grammar because he just talks like that #also my phone keeps trying to make a sticker with bubble text for the last line. why.#reading through this realising i sound kind of insane. sorry ive been awake so long and am about to crash for real

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thedrotter · 5 months ago

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re:kinder doodle dump part three !!! drawings with wildly different moods www they are more polished ans complete than my other doodles because. why not🥺!!!

#re:kinder #rekinder #fanart #ryou re:kinder #mami re:kinder #takumiel re:kinder #yuuichi mizuoka #i will now provide commentary ...#the first one i did was the takumiel one lets start with him #that one was done in ms paint MERELY for the sake of me making a speedpaint in the style of 2010's speedpaints #turned out great . put some nightcore on it... not placing it here because tumblr does not take it kindly to me putting speedpaints here #(im still petty about that)#the chie one as you can see. is not a line from re:kinder. it is a line from “If...” another game by parun #where the girl who says it has the same sprite as chie. so i drew chie based on the line. chie in the multiverse...#mami was because i just dont draw her enough for being one of the characters with a drawn portrait and why not #ryou candy because i can ive been meaning to draw him more properly for a while outside of silly little projects i just never got to it #so there he is with the layout of clip studio paint because the drawing looked bland. and i didnt know what to use as a background #i do not use clip studio on light mode. i just thought itd look better with the background. all for composition sake...!!!#now about the yuu drawing i did that this morning its funny actually... if you see it that way i prefer seeing things as comedic if possible #today's morning dread would simply not leave so i decided to draw rekinder because its my go to for whenever im feeling low #and i decided. i will channel my feeling into this drawing because i can i will channel it outwards so i dont have to deal with it #so at first i was very dreadful and sad drawing. but then as i was finishing it #and the drawing looked more gloomy than it had ever had I HAD GLEE ONCE MORE!! IT WORKED!! i did channel it outwards im a genius #so i totally would recommend if you dont want to deal with dread and are in a state where you can draw #you should make your drawing feel it so you dont have to. its great #its like when one manifests their period cramps onto goku from dragon ball z.... at least i do that #i do love goku. what kind of latinoamerican would i be if i didnt id be a disgrace but im not strong enough i know he can fight it

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robotpanties · 6 months ago

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uuuuuhhh no reason just wanna see the robot get preggers because nobody is really taking advantage of the narrative consequences of the robots of ULTRAKILL having fleshy bits inside them (in my humble opinion hahahaha...hahaha....hah....). Anywhosen also a sucker for general Bad End especially when it involves a psycho-sexual (breeding) binding to a greater entity but also I wanna see the murder-robot get knocked up. And the galaxy brain bit of this is instead of calming down they just get Worse.

YEAH NO ONE REALLY TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THAT. and well i mostly assumed a very small percentage of people actually want to breed the robots like that which is why.

also i don't think this as a bad end, but a bad path that can lead to some other.. inch resting things (my stupid ass is trying to craft a plot with horror and drama from this path and how it'd change the story slightly despite knowing I will never get around to writing it in fic form except tiny excerpt ideas and art)

also i have so much to say abt the 'it doesn't calm down it just gets worse' bc its So true

#kicking my legs. it sooo genuinely gets worse i think it believes its actually in “love” with hell. and maybe it is.#gets worse and loses itself more and more. abandon any last trace of identity that had never been regarded anyway by anyone #its easy to let something guide you and instruct you in nearly everything if it feels too painfully good? and why spend more power thinking #altho for the. plot i was conducting in my head it was msotly involving gabriel and the primes bc of an idea my friend gave me which was #that if this occurred before v1 reached the prime sanctums it could have been guided or instructed to go to the sanctums but at the time #it does its currently carrying a child and because of that both the primes and v1 itself are spared because. i dont know if i think #the kings would fight a pregnant person . i at least think sisyphus Wouldnt because wheres the fun in an opponent who appears to already #be disadvantaged. (even if it can fare just fine.)#if any friendships were able to be made (cough . i like sisyphus qnd v1 platonic and romantic) itd be kind of. sad from an outside perspect #ve to watch it deteriorate into being less of its own entity and becoming slowly just another extension of hell. even in fighting it shows.#i wish i could explain it all better #and sorry if this ask is late to be answered i was writing my rwsponse at a con LMAOOO #.txt #ask #i want to write i have no timeee no energyyy but hear me out there is potential for crazy wackjob shit #ive decided also not to kill gabriel i think i should do somethign fucked up with him and his inexperience in relationshios #i forgot who suggested he should get so desperate that he begs for hell to take him as well. (which i cant decide if it would or wouldnt bc #its kind of really funny and mean if it #says no)

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itsseriouslyridiculous · 22 days ago

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I really hate how my physical body looks so so so much. unfortunately there isn't much I can do about it.

#ive got fat genetics from both parents families going back generations and ive been trying to lose weight forever #my stupod body likes being fat i can excercise like crazy and eat barely anything and i wont lose anything #i was excercising 2+ hours a day before i got sick and it made me stronger but i.stayed fat. now that im sick im weak and still fat.#and im not the kind of fat anybody can find pretty. if i could somehow not be fat id be decent to look at my face isnt bad #my skin is bad though my skin sucks #in my eyes im disgusting #and its so messed up because i dont think other fat people are gross #but i hate how i look so much that i cant imagine anyone being okay with it #like no matter how kind and understanding and sweet i am to people its never gonna make up for the fact that my body is grossly ugly #and i cant blame anyone for not liking me i get it.#sorry #this is a problem i have #bacause i just usually pretend my body doesnt exist and i wear pretty loose fitting dresses that cover me completely so but #even though i am what i am #sometimes you happen to meet a nice person and they are polite and dont seem disgusted by your existance so then your traitorous brain t #thinks hey maybe this person would be willing to marry us someday if they got to know us. which is so silly becuz theres no way thatd ever #so it makes me sad when i should be happy that a nice person talked to me. yay good job successful friendlyness. but it has to remind me #that i had this expectation from when i was a kid that id marry somone and have at least 3 kids and love my kids and take care of them and #give them everything i needed when i was a kid. and of course that never happened. because i never dated anyone. because people dont just #magically get married out of nowhere. its stupid. so i keep trying to be okay with whatever. but i guess i never stopped wanting a family.#which we know im aroace now so. i need to stop. but my brain is always bothering me about this.#why can't i just accept that no one will ever love me. why cant i be happy that they dont?#ive got cats #someday i will have irl friends again #sorry i think everything would be so much easier if i was just #this isnt a problem with an easy solutiom #i guess im gonna try to do the useless excercises again because at least it will look like im trying even though nothing will change

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anxiously-sidequesting · 1 year ago

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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope

#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad #but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to #its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j #like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal #but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip #(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA #ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people #LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny #like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood #without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now #for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why #like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ #you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially #whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not #ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing #but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u #i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it #wizard101 #w101 #wiz101 #text posts #malistaire drake

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penisbilt · 7 months ago

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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now

#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL #really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us #ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great #extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore #the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog #its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow #i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating #i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one #i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it #theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget #anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by #there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad #cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now #maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that #im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away #ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free #i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20 #i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her #but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more #maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know #because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before #i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years #i dunno. i dont know #anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process #the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months #the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time #when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move #just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend

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arionaleilani · 1 year ago

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decided to make a list of all my diagnosed issues and like fucking. god damn. how am i just living day to day.

#nine bullet points #of diagnosed things i struggle #i struggle with #1. type one diabetes 2. adhd 3. bipolar 4. severe anxiety 5. depression 6. insomnia 7. migraines 8. dpdr 9. ptsd #and im just ?? existing like this??? literally how what the fuck #there’s more than that too thats just like the actual able to be diagnosed shit #probably also at least slightly autistic but my psychologist said that its not bad enough to impact me big time and a diagnosis would do mor #more harm than good so im just kind. Not lmao #but also: abandonment issues self worth issues guilty conscience issues feeling unworthy of literally everything issues #awful at establishing boundaries #sh issues #(not for like years but its a struggle to not relapse every year esp during winter)#suicidal ideation but at least ive never actually been suicidal #not bc i particularly love being alive but because the fact that i dont know what comes after death scares me too much lmao #even at my lowest of lows i have not wanted to kms SOLELY bc the unknown scares me enough to be like #yeah this sucks but at least i know it #at least it’s like familiar which is sad but still true lma #OH ALSO eating disorder lmao. diabulimia is a thing.#genuinely how have i not been fucking hospitalized #not in a bad way but like. idk how i havent gotten to that point yet #tho to be fair there are multiple points i probably should have been tbh #i just. dont want to worry people? or inconvenience anyone. and i know im not gonna kms so its easy to be like ‘i dont need that’#i have overshared way too much in these tags sorry i’ll stop now #if anyone has actually read all of these: i’m sorry. i love you. i hope you feel better than i do. i hope you smiled today.

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heedra · 1 year ago

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god i wish i could just move on from this one specific thing in my life im godawful about moving on from

#something happened a few years ago that i never got and probably will never get closure on #and ive been weird and sad about it ever since lmao #the kind of thing where theres literally nothing i can do but wait and see and probably acknowledge ill never ever hear anything #schrodinger's mourning

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