#i havent been alone in 3 years | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

your-average-gay-dork · 4 months ago

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my heart is so heavy :/// when will this shit get lighter

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xxplastic-cubexx · 5 days ago

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Snap: *draws a Megaman-inspired Magneto*

Me: ...Perfect modernization.

wait now that its not 3AM i can do you one Slightly better

bonus:

#xmen #xmen comics #magneto #erik lehnsherr #erik magnus lehnsherr #max eisenhardt #snap sketches #this is legitimately the most self indulgent thing ever ive been wanting to draw magneto like a robot master for months vjAELKJAE #i thought about adding the little 'ears' robot masters/reploids have but not this time #whats funny is that during my initial redesigning i WANTED to pay homage to erik's trench coat look buuuutt i couldnt figure how #so thank you sigma for. letting me steal your shit vjELKAEJ #i havent drawn megaman characters in like. years good lord- whats funny is that magnetman Was one of my faves to draw #which doesnt mean much since i loved drawing pretty much all the robot masters equally LMAOOO #i remember some freak got pressed at me for doodling metalman during class once like dawg what is your problem #bruv leave me ALONE let me draw you are not my mom #anyway. as i said last night i dont have my usual evening class so i figured id fill the time doodlin these #they didnt take long- i think thats why i like drawing This magneto outfit so much #reminds me of my megaman doodlin days ... also it's genuinely just quick as hell WHICH. makes sense #all that done im done megaman-inspired posting thank you for the opportunity anon im glad you appreciated it :]]#im gonna go eat now my tummy rumblin. theeeeeeen i guess ill drive home ???? i guess.#it's almost saturday so that means i get to post more asks- ive been hoarding them throughout the week #so i apologize if some people have been waitin i PROMISE i havent been ignoring i just wanna draw somethin for it </3 #ok im eating now BYYYYYYEEE

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sqrkyclean · 21 days ago

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yeah thats. what i thought. traumadumping i guess in the tags abt it.

#the only time i made Sure he couldnt touch me anymore was during a panic attack. and i didnt want him touching me but i did need comfort so #i sat on the floor with my best friend of several years and leaned on them for support #and he insisted on driving me home alone that night and then he started crying and insisted that i only ever let him touch me out of pity.#and then he said that if he didnt have a kid he would have been suicidal because of this #its. dealing with all this is part of why i havent been able to be on this account much. its been insanely stressful #because he lives with my best friend who i hang out with 3-4days a week usually. my best friend whose parent just died last month #and once i told them abt this they were like oh so thats a PATTERN of behavior bc hes apparently done this to multiple other people #notably people he's expressed that he's attracted to. and that being almost exclusively lesbians. this is a cis man btw #so. strained smile #txt

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puhpandas · 6 months ago

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hi mutuals im just curious.

#im a ggy lover myself and would obviously love to see it realized in a game #but i also like gregory as a character more than his semi-canon backstory #and have complicated feelings on if i want them to confirm ggy at all.#i love ggy but dont want it to take screentime away from gregory #who alongside vanessa havent been focused on in years #(ruin was mimic basically the whole time #doesnt count) and need the screentime desperately.#personally #after THIS long (2 and a half years since gregory screentime and over a year since GGYs release)#i cant help but always wonder if theyve just. waited too long and they shouldnt confirm it.#at least just that they shouldnt release something just for the sake of confirming it and just leave it as book knowledge.#if they did focus on ggy in a game i'd want it to serve the plot involving multiple characters and progress slowly #i dont want it to be confirmed then its just background knowledge i would want there to be a plotline of #gregory remembering it throughout the plot of a game and dealing with it.#it'd confirm it then but it'd also still be wholly focused on Gregory alone and also be a natural reveal for people who dont read the books #for me its option 3 i guess. by all means its for sure canon at the moment im just talking about how it would be revealed in a game #or if at all and left as knowledge someone who read the books would know #my idea is wishful thinking we'd never get something that intricate #i can hope though #i could be so cool #but damn theyre just handling the story so strangely rn #pandas.txt #pandas talks #poll #thoughts #pre hw2 dlc #jic

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dailyjasontodd · 9 months ago

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Hi, haven’t keeping up with comics for a long time, do you know what they are doing with Jason? His own comic run, he doesn’t appear at all, something?

Great question to get me to talk about Jason's current comic, which i've been too busy to post about sorry but that i loved nonetheless.

Jason's current main comic is Red Hood: The Hill, by Shawn Martinbrough and Sanford Greene, here you can read a bit about it. It's a sequel to the last two issues of Red Hood: Outlaw, which i don't know if you're read but it's been collected in Red Hood: The Hill #0, and covers Red Hood #51-52. GREAT mini arc. Red Hood: The Hill #1 is already out and it had a really solid start, great introduction of new characters, and the setting of the mini in general.

Now, what was the last time you picked up a Jason comic? If you're a Jason fan from the dark ages back when he was only written by lobdell he's kinda been promoted to appearing more often in other comics lately so there's.. a respectable amount of catching up to do in the past 3 years alone and I want to know exactly where to start lmao

#jason todd #asks #i really do need a reference point when people ask me hey i havent read jason in a while #because boy. theres been. a bunch of comics in the last 3 years alone #if we go from like 2016 onwards is even omre #more*

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saplingofspunk · 3 months ago

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HE KEPT THE HERO NAME?? 😭💀

#mha 430 #i havent caught up in 3 years leave me alone #I've been thriving off of fanfiction and spoilers #mha spoilers #spoilers

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ef-1 · 1 year ago

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when your just a girl but you have it all under control

#im done packing UGHHHH IT TOOK SO LONG BUT ITS DONE!!!!!!!#its only like 2-3 days but i might head to malta through dubai to have some lil R&R with my friend who i havent seen in 2 years 🥹#im so excited!!!!#I'll try not to but if i DO miss the mexican gp its bc im having more fun and i wont apologize #half my lungage is composed of the cuntiest little bikinis its been so long IM SO EGCITED #this whole trip is going to be 5-6 days max but the flight alone is like 19 hours so i have books and batteries and my kindle and headphones #and laptop and ipad and my other tablet and also skincare #i def made the right decision im actually really looking forward to seeing my dad and spending my birthday with him 🥹🫶#im debating whether i should queue up stuff for th Knation or just try to pop in when i can #maybe a cheeky lil schedule

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phagodyke · 4 months ago

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weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

#im gonna go and do my food shop etc to keep myself busy and hopefully my 2nd meds will kick in and we'll be able to handle it together #i think i kind of do this so regularly bc my brain is just processing everything bc i dont rly have time during the week #all cool tho im doing good overall def on the up n i feel way more capable of coping emotionally which is nice. i <3 meds #also.. possibly settling on the idea that i might be agender. very tentatively. lots of experiences n thoughts coming together rn #ive been reacting in unexpected ways to a lot of gendered shit atm which has made me reconsider the way i think abt myself #but very difficult to articulate it to myself let alone anyone else. so ive been sitting with it for now until it precipitates #gender stuff has never rly affected me much or ive never been in a place to explore it which is why i havent thought abt it super hard #but im not the sort of person who needs a lot of internal exploration to figure out my identity like im v self aware tbh #and while im wildly indecisive abt most things in my life for some reason i never have been abt stuff like this. i learned abt lesbianism #like idk 9 years ago-ish and straight away was like yeah that makes sense for me. never looked back since #n similarly ive experienced forms of gender dysphoria before n just immediately dealt with it symptomatically n moved on #its never been smth to agonise abt for me like i know what makes me comfortable in my skin so theres no question abt doing it #and ik im privileged to be able to do that. and also it helps that gender for me is mostly divorced from external perceptions #+ that im v autistic so social pressures dont stick to me very well. i mean yeah i was bullied for it as a kid but i was stubborn asf #so yeah from the moment i realised i was genuinely uncomfortable/upset abt it earlier this week i was like okay. lets try this instead #its given me pretty instant relief from any distress i was feeling so far which is nice. rare respite from one of my torture labyrinths #just testing out internally whether it frames things more clearly n makes me feel more myself/at peace before i choose to stick w the idea #but not gonna do a whole coming out fanfare either way. dont think i wanna change how ppl interact w me + im still a dyke #so i dont consider it relevant to anyone else unless they share a similar understanding of gender to me. or if we're v close #ill prolly broach it w other trans friends eventually bc insert philosophers talking image. but to everyone else its business as usual #happy to play my cis-sona at work. + w new queer ppl i meet ive been introducing myself recently w mirrored pronouns instead of any/all #and i think i prefer that. virtually indistinguishable but theres smth nice abt inviting ppl to recognise me the way they do themselves #like translating + localising a non-gendered language into a gendered one... simplifying decisions abt how to perceive me #and ofc ppl are still gonna perceive me however but idc much unless we're actually friends. the rest is all a performance anyway #doubtful anyone on here ever has reason to refer to me but if u do for some reason... im freeloading off ur pronouns now btw <3 #but yeahhh. much 2 think abt. i need to read more alien/ai sci fi.. non-human sentience has been such a comforting concept lately #but yea tldr i woke up one morning this week like damn im prolly agender but i have a full time job to go to rn so idc abt that #.diaries #okkkk my dex is kicking in im no longer on the verge of tears lets go get these groceries wooohoooo

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real-life-cloud · 1 year ago

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im GOING to write today ........ i WILL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#the sky speaks #i havent used twitter in so long and lemme say i missed using tumblr like twitter. just putting my long rambly notes into a single post #anyways onto the rambling #i havent been writing or drawing like at alllll #too busy #also was so sick #but now that i have my new job and i know what my schedule is gonna sorta look like #3 days at joann 2 days cleaning w mom and 2 days nothin #PLUS i dont have to spend money on therapy til after the new year now #and mom is coming home and she seems rly optimistic abt sobriety #im feeling like i can finally create again !!!!#i have 2 creative presents i need to do before christmas #but aside that and 1 prompt still in my inbox (that i rly wanna do anyways) everything else i wanna do is all for Me :)#im kinda put out bc a lot of stuff i wanted to do this fall got shelved.. i wanted to make bday art of kirishima xinyan and kazuha.#i wanted to open comms. but im way too rusty w art rn to be confident doing that. maybe after new years?#god i wanted to come out to my parents properly. the day my mom went to rehab was national coming out day.#it was also one of my last therapy sessions. i came out to her instead #i still managed to do stuff tho. started my new job and got together with friends TWICE !! and i've kept up w doing my moms job alone #idk where im going w this anymore ive lost steam. but yeah. i wanna write today! idk what yet. i hav so many wips i could work on..

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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago

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cant believe i cant aoki cosplay anymore my fucckinnnn dress shirt turned grey

#snap chats #'snap do you only own one white dress shirt' leave me ALONE #the rest of my dress shirts are all patterned or Not White #we like variety.... BUT ALSO //YELLS//#never in my life has the dryer at my moms bled colors before #and its not like i havent washed these clothes together before.....#her dryer kinda sucks highkey its been trash for years but i think its on its last legs #cause ive tried drying these shits for the past like. Day and they're still sopping #i aint done nothin different than what i usually do..... annoyin as hell...#whats ALSO annoyin is that i have to buy a new shirt </3 #this is a devastating day for the two people that enjoyed me dressing up as aoki <- didnt plan on dressing as aoki again anytime soon

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eeunwoo · 1 year ago

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#hii.. im still not really here a lot re kpop its just not really like the most important thing in my life rn lol #but uh i guess my dog's passing is something i gotta deal on my own entirely. my mom seems pretty much over it without really taking me int #account at all. today shes even sorta like. making odd comments/jokes about it like 'i talk to toto sometimes' because we say this #weird lady on tv talking ab how she talks to deer heads. and i just stared at my mom like deadpan and just looked away #bc what the fuck. and ofc she wouldnt consider its not an ok thing to say . otherwise shes really like trying to make out that im being a #really good kid and taking care of her and her feelings bc shes inventing things in her head about me being extra nice and careful with her #shes like awww youre taking care of me <3 and im like no im actually treating you like you're a total stranger in my house because you #basically are. and anyway. im basically on my own like i always am. i just have to deal with it all alone. as always. which is like fine #its just im extra lonely and alone so <3 ive also been suicidal and really really on the edge. that's your alex update if anyone cares #to be completely honest it's been taking everything in me not to just od right now its all i can think about and i havent felt like it in #years. ive just been sleeping for 12 hours at a time lmao........ anyway yeah thats it?#mrow.org

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scattered-winter · 1 year ago

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horrifying self recognition through the other aside this has been an actually not terrible start to The Family Gathering tbh

#my cousin who i havent really seen in a while came up to me and asked abt my pronouns because i came out to the fam a while ago #and he didnt really remember what id said (which. fair. its a big family w lots of things to remember)#and so he asked what my pronouns were and i told him and he promised that if he ever messed up i needed to make him #do like 5 or 10 pushups lmao #and ngl. its the sweetest thing anyone in this family has ever said to me abt that #everyone else has kinda just. moved on. and either forgotten that im not a girl or purposefully ignoring it.#and idk maybe i should stand up for myself a little more but ive been practically a doormat all my life #and idk. its hard using my voice and establishing boundaries when ive let ppl bulldoze over me for almost 20 years.#sigh. anyway.#im gonna be thinking about that all day tbh it was genuinely so sweet #and i am also being consumed by The Loneliness again <3 #just. i want someone to just talk to about all this??? someone who isnt in my family because they all have stakes in it too?????#we're all grieving. i aint special.#i just want to talk to someone about it in person so they can hold my hand while i cry myself to sleep because ngl #thats what it looks like we're doing tonight #im just. tired of feeling alone in this enormous family where it seems like im the only odd man out #and also ykw the Not Having Any Irl Friends loneliness too. thats also pretty significant.#not saying my internet friends arent great i love yall so so so much but it has just been .#a really really long time since ive had a good cry n hug session w someone.#sigh. im tired i need to go to bed #winter speaks #personal

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insomnianoctem · 1 year ago

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I miss the days before Shein taught fast fashion brands how to be even faster and more expensive

#i say this as someone who has been wearing the same 6 or so leggings for 10 years now #and like 2 have died this year alone from 10 years of wear and tear #while the other 3 are still basically new #wanted to get somemore form garage #twice the price but $2 aliexpress quality fabric #i am a wear it til it wears out then scrap it for craft projects or turn into pajamas person #all i want is a simple pair og leggings #not hot yoga pants push up bra for your ass unending bias tape pink camo yoga pants #leggings #tight black pants with 2 legs and not a single distringuishable feature beyond black and leggings #i have not bought leggings in 10 years and jeans in 4 #i do not need jeans #only one pair wore out #but i am getting desperate for a decent pair of leggings because i havent bough any since back to school 2013 #rant #i want to buy slow fashon #but unfortunetaly working full time isnt even enough for rent where i live

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turnaboutchaos · 2 years ago

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its that time when i hate how i draw people and agonize over it with my head in my hands

#gughghghghhh im TRYING to draw why cant my mind leave me alone...#granted ive only been drawing em seriously for like 3 or 4 yrs but #i feel so inferior and like idk where to go from where im at. idk how to shape my style or anything #its so hard #i feel like ive been cutting corners adn just scribbling without learning anything like ive been imprisoned in my comfort of a simple style #when ive yearned for something so much more. like man its ur own fault u havent gotten anymore detailed on ur works. ur scared #and u dont know where to go from here or what to study #i feel so insane and its burning me out terribly hence lack of art despite skool holidays etc etc #and now im back at skool with like. nothing to show for whatever ive been working on over the last like 2 months idfk. im just #mad at myself. like super mad #whatever #vent #i guess. fuck dammit lmao bbs first vent #prolly will delete this later just gimme a year. or twenty #shutuplance🧡

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arolesbianism · 1 month ago

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I have obtained a new oc and in the process I've already signed myself up for needing to make at least 3 new ocs for his story which he now has despite me initially Intending for him to be a side character for a different side character to hang out with. My townhouse has over 200 characters on it.

#rat rambles #oc posting #he doesn't have an official name yet but he is my silly billy and I love him #also take every him with an asterisk again he's like super new (I just got him today)#although several elements of his story so far have been things Ive been wanting to do for a while so thats a part of why I have so many #ideas for him already since its some stuff I've been wanting to play around with for a while #the real reason he has a chokehold on me rn is that I tripped and made him my 500 thousanth character with identity issues #I <3 characters with a fucked up relationship with their sense of self and what it even means to be themself #oh hes also a magic cat world character because thats what like 90% of my ocs are from at this point lol #and another goop related guy but this time not directly related to every other goop guy #he doesnt interact with any of them or even know most of them exist #long story short hes a robot who used to not be a robot but remembers nothing abt his life before he turned himself into a robot #all he has as reference is a mostly ruined journal his past self kept that is almost entirely unreadable due to it getting soaked in goop #he knows that this was self inflicted and his approximate age but that's abt it in terms of useful information #early story is mostly just him traveling alone trying to see if anyone nearby knows who he is but after going through like 5 or so towns he #starts to get more worried and upset about the whole situation and starts trying to look into some different missing person reports in #hopes that he can find one of himself #he runs out of the savings he had on him pretty quickly though so he had to figure out how to stay afloat while doing his research #'luckily' he meets a man while looking into one case he found who was willing to let him stick around at his place while looking into it #this guy had some investment in these dissapearances because he suspected that they related to his father and hoped to find any sort of #window in what he was up to since he hadnt seen him since he ran away at around 17 #spoilers his dad is cake this is still connected to cake nonsense because everything in this world fucking does but the main boy himself #actually has no ties to cake or his activities so thats smth at least #but yeah long story short things get. real bad for my boy after the first few months of staying at this guy's place.#yknow how risa in the future was often used as a weapon of war using some unstable chemicals? yeah guess where that started.#mr daddy issue haver over here may understand that his dad is a bad person but evidently that doesnt stop him from being not much better #currently Im planning on having main boy escape eventually and get stuck in the non magic world where he meets april but that could change #it depends on if I want him to interact with the other stories going on at all or not #I probably wont but I would like to leave myself some wiggle room to let him meet more side characters #like (looks with big sad wet eyes) ginger maybe? please? please april? let me see your sister? that you havent seen in years? please?

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pears-trinkets · 8 months ago

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#the whole vet situation gives me such trauma whiplash im too busy with that that i havent really given myself a chance to process today #all i can think about is how painful eating must be for mischa #i noticed she slowed down a bit and wouldnt eat kibble or hard snacks but i thought it might be one single tooth ache idk #i actually thought she was doing better because she slowed down because she has been gulping down food way too fast since the shelter #the last time she had tooth problems like 2-3 years ago i asked a friend to come with me to the vet and she said omg yes of course #and then she resumed texting me normal stuff throughout the day of the appointment and only after i didnt reply the whole day she noticed #like 10 hours too late she was like OH SHIT HAHA!! and this is literally what happens every time when i ask someone to be there for me #when i make myself really vulnerable and ask for help and say that i cant do something alone they let me down #while knowing that i have no one else #i asked my mom to come to the vet once and she literally only talked about herself the whole time distracting me #and then she was like haha yeah lets just drop off the cat at home and go get some lunch hihi!!!!#she never remembers vet appointments even when we just talked about them and loves making fun of me for being stressed and tense #like OH NO WONDER YOU WERE MOODY like im on my period or something #i texted a friend about mischas health issues and me losing my job and she hasnt replied since january and doesnt really talk to me anymore #so i guess that friendship is done too #ill have to go there on thursday alone and overdraft my account and wait until the evening and care for mischa all alone #i cant even talk with someone about this because no one understands or judges my emotions and no one cares anyway #and then ill have to go back to work where everyone knows that i will be gone soon and will pester me about it #they all think of me as a temporary intern anyway and ask WHEN WILL YOU GO FIND A REAL JOB while they make me do theirs #everything and everyone at that job is so horrible and so many people leave and they never learn #a colleague i helped teaching everything suddenly turned on me &my other colleague & made our lives miserable while badmouthing us viciously #and everyone in the office chose her over us and let her get away with it while she screamed at us and behaved like a child #its so ironic how i stayed because i needed money to live and now when i go i will have 0 because of the surgery #i mean its worth it but like #what the fuck is life and what will it fucking be next month

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