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#ive done many of them dont get me wrong
hrere · 2 years
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hot take: spell jars are boring and wasteful. i'd rather just burn a piece of paper and drink the ashes.
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having a category 12 "thought about william wisp for too long" moment
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kurthorton-moving · 8 months
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#not 2 be like. negative but i just kinda got hit hard by the way my relationship w my best friend has changed#dont get me wrong i understand that her girlfriend will be super important to her esp bc she lives across the world and is only physically#here for another 2 or so weeks#but my best friend just got back from a trip to another city to see an artist she loves and as she came in i got up to go see her and ask hl#how it was but she was in her room w her gf before i could and thats fine i get it and like she hasnt done anything wrong i can not#emphasize that enough like i hold no bitter feelings to her she is excited to talk to her gf understandably#it just hit me that like. oh yeah. i have no one else that i go to about literally anything but she does#and its less ab her so much as its. its just hitting me that i dont really have? friends?#i have one or two people but like. i only have One Person thats my go to fave person always tell them everything#and i just. I've realized that its not reciprocated the way it used to be#and that i think is just like a part of growing up#i dont have a partner i dont have someone my life is intrinsically linked to#like a best friend is great but its not. relationships are placed to a higher level you know like its jusy more important#and i just. ive nevr Had a partner really. unless u count a like 2 month thing when i was 12 which i dont count#not to be depresso but i am just not the kind of person that people want or desire#and thats been the case long before i came out as trans but its extra complicated now since i dont. Fully pass#idk not 2 sound sad i just wanna be loved#and i think theres only so many times i can hear the most important person in my life come home and talk excitedly ab things thru the walls#and then never actually get told anything myself. not just ab things shes excited for but just in general#we were meant to go to a house viewing together a few days ago and it was only half an hour before it was happening when no one else was#home that i messaged them to check in and they were like oh yeah we're not going we have this and this going on#which like. fine whatever but i dont drive and getting anywhere fast is hard so it just. was stressful#but it just seems like i am constantly out of the loop. everyone i live with is in a relationship w each other and i am just here#in every aspect of my life i am Just There and im tired of it#not to sound desperate or needy but i just would like to. be noticed? or feel prioritized? or even wanted#idk this is. i just needed to rant i think im emotional bc my hormones r a bit wack#im due for my testosterone shot in a few days but i dont have the money or time to go to the doctors lately so its being pushed back#a few weeks and its just. i think its messing w me a bit#i mean i feel this way literally all the time but just the like. the being upset and emotional and posting ab it i think is bc of that#idk i needed to get it out idk it this will stay up or not
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our-lady-of-mcr · 1 month
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#i love the salon im working at rn so much dont get me wrong#i feel so incredibly lucky working there for many reasons#and im going to preface this with im on my period and feeling off anyways#so anyways im interning for like 2 years at this salon before i get on the floor so theyre training me rn to be able to intern for the#bigger stylists. so the girl whos been training me went on vacation and she put me with someone i havent worked with before#and this girl was really nice and i liked her other than some of my minor mishaps that lowkey sent me over the edge but thats not the point#anyways i worked for her for 6 hours until she left and i got to go home and we get done and i start to leave and she says something along#the lines of im great and doing great but i need to work on keeping time and basically interrupting stylists to let them know a client is#there. and she told me i just need to be more confident in myself. which is nice and it was a good and valid critique buy ooooo bitch. oooo#i held it together long enough until i got in the car and started telling my bf about it and i cracked in the middle of speaking and just#bawled my fucking eyes out. idk if its bc it was the most direct someone has been with me since ive only been there for 2 weeks or what but#it sent me over the edge so hard i ended up getting home and eating my lunch and sleeping for 4 hours LMFAO#it just kills me that she wasnt even mean but she said it in front of other interns like thats not deeply embarrassinh#*embarrassing anyways fucking christians BFBFNNCHDKEJEUSKS i work for her again thursday so hopefully she doesnt make me feel dead inside#by the end of my shift again ): it just was nooooot a good day for me#self
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fardf150 · 3 months
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fuck
#like idk i never realized just how bad she hurt me. i didnt even rly realize she hurt me at all#bc there are so so so many ways she sldve reacted so much worse. but like i never thought someone cld just straight up ignore it.#like i get the way i told her was dumb and confusing. ok. i can understand that. whatever#but idk. she said she wished my sister had told her years earlier so that she cldve helped her back then#but then suddenly it's different when it's me. suddenly it's 'but youve always been my little girl' and 'oh i dont know that sounds dangerou#s' and 'are you sure?' and 'how long have you felt like this'#well it's been almost 5 fucking years now and it hasnt changed. i havent changed. fuck#i trusted her. i trusted her to be there for me and to support me and to accept me and she threw it back in my face and never even blinked#i can never ever trust her again and she doesnt care. she doesnt even know bc shes so wrapped up in all the fucking lies she tells herself#fuck. she did everything wrong. fuck. i can never fully trust anyone with this part of me again bc of her#and it's awful bc it's such an important part of me. it brings me so much joy and i think on it often and i love myself for it#but it's just simmering in my chest and every time i think of letting it hit air again i freeze bc i thought it was safe once and it WASNT.#i wanted to get my name changed before high school. i wanted to start the medical process. i wanted all the thing i thought shed do for me.#my wants and my understanding of my identity has changed now but it still hurts.#it hurts so bad to see other ppl my age get all of that and to have the support of their family and to not be afraid to put a name to it all#im happy for them. but it's so awful hearing her point those ppl out w no self awareness like oh thats so good for them isnt that sweet#I AM RIGHT HERE! YOU COULD BE DOING ALL OF THAT! I NEEDED YOU TO BE THAT FOR ME!#and every time she does acknowledge it she gets it completely wrong or it's just to bemoan how little she understands#'oh everyones changing their name now its so confusing' 'im really trying i dont know what else you want from me' NO YOURE NOT! YOURE NOT!#YOUVE NEVER BEEN WILLING TO TRY. NOT FOR ME.#you never fucking loved me you loved the idea of what you thought i would be and you cant fucking let it go even when the truth is staring#you dead in the face. fuck. you complain about how i 'hate you' or 'think youre stupid' well maybw treat me with an ounce of respect and act#like you understand the things youve EXPLICITLY BEEN TOLD. even a little.#but honestly it's too late. if she were to suddenly have a change of heart now i wouldnt give a damn.#the damage is done you dont get to have this part of me and act like youre such a good and supportive mother.#i cant even say i hate her. i love her but shes hurt me more than anyone else ever has and i can never trust her to actually love me or even#fucking see me or support anything about me that actually matters to me#i dont know. i dont know. thinking about it again.#ive thought abt telling my dad. not bc it wld do any good but bc ik he values honesty and maybe hed throw me a 'damn that sucks'#my sister said this is something i have to fight on but she doesnt get it. i have no ground to stand on as far as shes concerned
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arolesbianism · 7 months
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Y'know now that I'm seeing a small handful of ppl actually giving a shit abt oni lore it's making it so much harder to not become a nerd emoji every five seconds anytime I see someone talk abt oni because I forget that every source of oni information is comically outdated
#rat rambles#oni posting#I have had my fair bit of mistenteripitations as well I have to fight myself every day to not go and delete a bunch of old posts#I wont delete them because they are a catalog of me getting into oni and thats rly important to me but also aghhhhhh#I was wrong abt so much shit that wasnt even because of misenterpretation just me being bad at reading lol#Im still learning new things every time I revisit the logs because I am that prone to misreading and glazing over things#which is why I Really need to finish up and post all the logs so that other ppl can double check with me lol#well in theory theres still not That many ppl interested in lore and Im not even sure if said ppl would see my catalog#but I still want ppl to have an actually complete source for this stuff so Ill probably start cleaning it up more tomorrow#I also will have to go double check that I didnt miss anything because it's very likely I did#it wont be too hard to clean up just annoying since its copy and pasted from the code#again its just abt cleaning it up so that its a bit more readable#I will keep in the name of each log in the files because I think thats information that ppl should be able to access#yknow in case you wanna read it in game without having to hunt it down#for context you can manually unlock a log in one of the oni folders where log unlocks are stored#you can just open it on a note app or smth and add the logs you wanna unlock and it should add them#I haven't done it myself but Ive done similar stuff and its not hard as long as you know the file names#not saying ppl Should cheat in the logs just that I want those who want to to have the option#now my biggest problem is that I dont actually know which logs are spaced out logs#idk maybe theres a way to tell in the files but chances are Ill just have to leave it unspecified for now#I also might end up digging up any set piece item descriptions since while the vast majotity of them are very much not lore relevant#I know at least 2 (3 To Me) are and if I include those and not others thatd just feel weird#its a similar thing I had with the artifacts where the line between lore relevant and not gets blurred the more I include#so yeah Ill start with just logs and artifacts and Maybe do setpiece building descriptions if I feel up to it#but if any of you find the jackie's office setpiece in your saves then know that you have access to both my favorite setpiece and one of my#favorite lines of text in the game Period#its maybe not that big of a deal but it is 2 Me Ok#and to be clear its not jackies desk although I do love that one too girlie is not over her divorce#anyways time to shower and think abt sploon toon some more since well yknow
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713-4th-ward-g · 8 months
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#idk i kind of find it fucked up that my dad thinks it was a bad idea to tell me about his life insurance plan#he told my mom “ you think it was a good idea telling him ? you know people kill people for it”#almost if not is insinuating that i would do something like that#idk to me it speaks volumes on how he views me as a person to think i would even think of such a thing#it bothers me to think he would think id do that i definitely dont get along with the dude but i wouldn't do that 😂#like you really think that low of me 😂 bruh that shit is sad to me#i absolutely hated him when i was growing up; literally had everyone walking on eggshells#you literally quite literally couldn't say anything to him or he would get aggressively mad#literally so mad that his screams alone would make my ears ring and hed throw stuff around in his little shed#i would be so scared as a kid helping him with a car maintenance or anything around the house cause any inconvenience#would have the man screaming at me when I've done nothing but try and help and cuss me out for the thing he fucked up something#for years i couldn't hang out with my classmates outside of school near my house without him cussing at me and screaming at me to go home#if he saw me with them at the abandoned next door neighbors house he would literally scream at me and cuss at me to get in the fucking house#and would grab my arm and push me inside; i was just in middle school at the time and ive already been through so much mental abusive#i would get blaimed for anything he did wrong when i would try to help him fix something around the house and it wasnt my fault#screaming and cussing at me calling me fucking stupid in Spanish i hated him so much his excuses are work had him so stressed out#like if that excuses him for taking his stress out on my sister and i; its absolute bullshit the man he is now is just a toned down version#thats why when he did it again not long ago it triggered me so much it brought back so many horrible memories i didnt want to remember#he didnt even apologize to me he just told my mom he was embarrassed and didnt know what got over him like that's an excuse to scream#and cuss at everyone who had nothing to do with him fucking up the wall he had no reason of cutting and cutting a pipe in the process#he was cussing at me saying i dont want to be critique 🤣 like dawg all i was only giving him options to fix the problem#he took that as critiquing and he fucking exploded cussing and screaming in Spanish i was sure we were about to fight again#it wouldn't be the first time ive fought him before when i was a teenager cause he would scream at my mom and grandma#and i would stand up for them and just for that he would throw hands with a 13 year old me a 15 year old me a 16 17 amd 18 year old me#he was a horrible person and i hate it when people tell me he was a good person there that he was a good father cause he provided for my mom#like if thay excuses the abuse he put my sister and i through like fuck that dude he had not right hitting my sister in the face#and mentally abusing us its absolute bullshit and i still have not gotten over my childhood#literally the worst time of my life was my whole childhood for every good time i had there were 10 times more negative shit that happened#so i find it funny that he'd think i would kill him 🤣 for his insurance money i dont want his stupid money#he really thinks that low of me and it's quite sad honestly
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splattacks · 1 year
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ive just been eternally tired since like. april. i dont remember the last time i worked on anything uni related with no issues, like... without having to force myself to do it or without leaving it to the last possible second when im forced to do it just so i dont miss the deadline. also i have missed many deadlines this year already its. not usual for me. and dont even get me started on my internship
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confused-alpaca · 2 years
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oh boy i ought to try and see a physiotherapist again
#alpaca.txt#i got discharged months ago from the last one bc i was no longer in pain all the time#idk if they can actually help anymore bc ill just be told to rest and use it less and#im doing the minimum! that i can do! but like! i have to fill my time with something#and literally everything requires use of hands#and i have to draw sometimes. i cant not do it. i have to make things i will explode if i cant#i hate seeing doctors i cannot describe my pain i cannot remember the pain ive had i cannot make notes on it#and they cant help me unless i tell them but i am unable to tell them. i have tried notes it Does Not work.#there are so many things wrong with me worsened bc i got megadepressed and did nothing at all for a couple years#urghhhhhhhhhhhhhh#in othernews ive been watching steven universe and its been. an experience#its interesting. watching something where you found out the ending years ago bc u didnt care then#and seeing how they get from the start to what u know is coming. get to see all the foreshadowing on the first watch#i finished it and i really want to draw some of it but. the ouch is here i cant.#i say finished i havent watched future but i dont think i want to. change your mind felt like enough of an ending for me#i feel like seeing more will take away from it. i saw stuff about it when it came out and i think itd be good.#but i dont know. im not really interested in it. its not the same#idk#its like with stranger things. s4 of that is probly really good but the end of s3 felt like it was The End of the story. its done. over#a complete story it doesnt need more
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firesnap · 7 months
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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
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x-liv25-jamieswife · 4 months
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unpopular(ish) tig opinions/mostly just me ranting
a few people have done this so here are mine (also just me ranting)
this one isn't super controversial but i don't really like alisa. she's nice and all, but the way she treats libby is just so weird to me and i can't bring myself to love her.
most people in this fandom are grayson stans but my fav is jameson. i love grayson, don't get me wrong, but i feel like his character is sort of overdone. i mean, almost all love interests nowadays are moody, broody, i never smile except when im with you. im happy avery ended up with jamie not just cause they fit together, but bc, for once, the love interest isn't the broody type (like i said, love grayson dont hate me)
i commented this under a post, and i don't think this is super unpopular but im lyra neutral. i literally cannot love a character unless i know them (i dont hate her either, i just don't have an opinion)
ok, this one might get me some hate, but, although grayson had the right to be mad in tig bc avery inherited the money, i do think he did go too far sometimes. there's this one time, where he was just unnecessarily rude to avery, telling her she didn't know what it was like to suffer (midway through to book, don't remember the chapter but its there and it makes no sense bc she grew up with no money while this dude is a privileged white man, like all of his brothers (except for xander cause he isn't white)). like i said, he had the right to be mad, but avery did nothing to him, and, so, he had no right to say some of the things he said to her. he does get better, and he does apologize (i think, but even if he doesn't idc cause hes nice to her now). like i said, he had the right to be mad cause i mean he did grow up thinking he'd inherit and he didn't, but he shouldn't have taken out all of his anger on her. he had the right to doubt her and think she had ulterior motives, but he had no right to accuse her of being a gold digger when she had done NOTHING to gray for him think that (dont take this as me not liking gray, he's one of my fav characters ever (but no one beats jamie (and nash)))
idk if this one will make sense and ik some people will agree with me if this does, but the way avery is treated in this fandom is really shitty. she's pretty much only mentioned when people are talking about the love triangle. she's bashed bc she didn't choose grayson (which she had the right to bc jamie was made for her and gray wasn't), her trauma is super overlooked. i wish people would pay more attention to her. also, i mentioned this earlier, but some people (not many but some) let other people (like gray and thea) get away will at the mean things they said to avery bc they're their favorite characters. (obviously, they can be your fav characters. my best friend's fav character is gray, and, when i first read the books, i liked gray over jamie for a small period of time, but its wrong to let them get away things just bc you like them.
people will agree with me, but jameson and grayson's trauma should NOT be compared. trauma is trauma no matter how "bad" it is (note the quotation marks around bad). ive mostly seen people compare jamie to gray saying that gray's trauma is worse which is so fucking mean. they both have trauma. they both have it bad. no one should be comparing. i will make a longer post about this bc this is smth i'm very passionate about and it pisses me off. (ive lost count of the amount of times ive compared my trauma to others thinking i had no right to complain bc others had it worse, so don't do it to fictional characters plsss)
the tiktok/insta fandom sucks. the amount of averygrayson shippers ive seen bash avery on those platforms is too much. the only healthy part of the fandom is on tumblr.
not controversial but thea is not a girl boss, she's just a mean girl. she's not iconic.
people should not bash people for their favorite characters. i've seen this mostly on older posts (like before tfg was released) but some people will go 'xander's my fav' or 'avery's my fav' and people in the comments would go 'but grayson exists' or 'but jameson exists'. let people like who they want to like. all characters are great (mostly, i hate thea and all of the bad guys).
i couldn't care less about eve's redemption arc. she ruined toby's life, and as someone who loves toby and avery's father-daughter dynamic, i will never forgive her. she also treated grayson horribly, basically got alisa kidnapped (cause alisa wouldn't have gotten kidnapped if eve hadn't gotten toby kidnapped), and more so if she ever does get a redemption arc, i will be throwing hands.
if i see people complaining about lyra's character when tgg comes out bc 'they were expecting someone different' i will be pissed. im sure lyra will be great (hopefully). it doesn't matter if she's a girl boss or more like rebecca.
grayson is not 'the most misunderstood character in the fandom'. he's literally the most popular character. people are constantly gushing about him and his trauma. other characters like avery, jameson, and xander (and others) are so much more misunderstood. no ones takes the time to understand them like they do with grayson. people are constantly talking about his trauma, and how people shouldn't hate him bc he's 'misunderstood'. people have the right to hate him, and his trauma isn't overlooked as the fandom's most popular character. he is a complex character, and i will be making in depth posts about him bc i find him interesting and i really like his character, but he's the most understood character in the fandom. i've noticed that people tend to say he's misunderstood right after coming up with the most nonsensical take defending all of his actions saying that he has trauma (trauma is not an excuse its an explanation)
even if grayson would've gotten up to help avery after the bombing 1. he would've never gotten there on time and 2. he might have gotten more hurt.
i said this earlier while talking about gray but trauma is not an excuse its an explanation. do with that what you will. i just have to repeat it.
people who claim jameson was not affected by emily are the bane of my existence (yes, they exist, i've seen them)
ik i mentioned gray a lot in this and it might seem like i don't like him, but i swear i LOVE him. i find his character very interesting and complex and i really wanna analyze his character once i'm done rereading. i just hate toxic grayson stans (most of yall aren't, but they exist)
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beelzeballing · 10 months
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actually i dont think ive posted my thoughts on ofmd s2 overall here yet have i?
ok here goes: i think it had incredibly high highs, and at some parts i genuinely enjoyed it more than i did the first season, episode 6 being peak imo. however, it had equally abysmal lows with some glaring writing-, tone- and pacing issues that all came to a head in the finale.
i once read someone say that, if you ever feel like a finale ruined the whole story, maybe you should take another look at the story. there were most likely cracks and problems all along, and the finale did nothing besides dashing the hope that these would perhaps be addressed later. very rarely do genuinely well written stories go completely off the rails in the finale and ruin the whole thing.
i think this is applicable here in some ways, SPECIFICALLY in regards to edward. good god edward was a MESS this season, and it's so sad because i loved the starting point! the kraken era was absolutely terrifying and iconic as FUCK but... they shouldn't have leaned so hard into the drama and trauma of it all. don't get me wrong, i loved that it did. it's one of my favorite parts of the season and i'm so glad we got it. but if they wanted this arc to work with the overarching plot as they wrote it, they would've had to lighten up the tone here CONSIDERABLY. had they played the kraken era for comedy then sure! edward's bad youtuber apology would've been funny. his fast redemption would've been less jarring. the lack of consequences less disturbing. but as it stands in the show, this arc is too dark to function with the later episodes.
i feel like they wanted to have their cake and eat it too here. they wanted the gritty drama of ed coming off the hinges entirely but also didn't want to deal with the aftermath of such a heavy arc in their silly pirate romcom. be that due to time constraints and budget cuts or because they were simply unwilling to, doesn't really matter in the end. the result is the same either way: a very tonally messy season with some accidentally troubling implications regarding abuse.
and mentioning troubling implications regarding abuse; izzy. my poor, poor izzy... his arc was absolutely glorious. i liked izzy the second he showed up in s1 and i was absolutely EATING this season up in that regard. and i think in this case, they genuinely did fuck it all up in the finale with that one stupid choice:
choosing to kill izzy was the DUMBEST thing they couldve done here.
ive talked about this over and over and over again. ive reblogged so many meta posts. and still i am left absolutely flabbergasted by how stupid of a decision this was. the fridging, playing at the fallen woman trope, killing the beating heart of the season and the character who delivers what is essentially a thesis statement, killing off the character whose arc is about coming to terms with his disability, having him die in edward's arms, comforting him and apologizing after an entire season of finding community and love outside of edward, the absolutely godawful pacing of it all, the extremely easy and obvious solution of just having IZZY become the new captain of the revenge to mirror s1 and hammer home how much he has developed since then in one go... i could go on. and i have. it was a stupid writing decision, completely fucked the tone and pacing of the finale and took away attention and time from things that really would've deserved a better wrap up (lucius and black pete deserved better)
now. the whole prince ricky & zheng plot line... yeah that shit sucked ass, sorry. they bit off more than they could chew here. i honestly think those are the arc words of this season:
✨️ bit off more than they could chew ✨️
right off the bat: i think he was good as a concept. bringing in a foil for stede who just doesn't Get It as stede does could've made for very good comedy and drama (and to be fair there is some of that). but that shit got away from them extremely quickly. nothing about how he's implemented past his first episode works, and i think this is very specifically because he's mostly played as the comic relief in his debut episode. making this completely bumbling fool, who gets his nose hacked off on his first job, the main villain of your entire season is... definitely a choice. idk. he didn't work for me at all.
ok wow mentioning shit getting away from the writers. this definitely got away from me. this was supposed to be a short lil post. well. i guess tl;dr i loved this season but jesus christ there was a lot wrong with it. if you want to hear more thoughts. ask box is open. be my guest. i have more to say so even if you dont ask i might add more to this at some point but im tired and have work tmrw.
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magnetosupporter · 3 months
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Sooo
lately since ive been reading the comics and watching the '92's show I have come up with a thought that i guess only tumblr fandom may welcome it and i'd to share it with you guys
well, since watching xmen 97 i have been completly in love with rogneto, and even went to read the comics to know more about them and their relationship and what had lead them towards the end so she actually end up marrying another guy, and dont get me wrong, i do enjoy watching gambit and think he's a funny character, cool powers and memorable lines, but i do not like to see him with rogue, but ive came to be cool with this fact since he makes her happy.
ever since watched EP. 5 i had the thought that he was somehow ""childish"" on what he said to rogue when she taught him about her previous relationship, and at first, i did get it, he was hurt, hurt to see she choosing somebody else. choosing someone he thought was no good (in all ways possible) and most important, choosing someone who could give her what he could not.
I mean, he's not wrong, indeed, there are some things deeper than skin, everyone knows that, but not this, not for her. I think, love is so much more than sex, but sex is also a part of love. You can say you love someone without ever have touched them, but sometimes, some moments, when you're so in love you wish to... kiss them. To hold their hands, to hug them, to strip them out of their clothes and touch them bare, kind of touch so intimate, so deep, to bring happiness and pleasure to the other and get yours from it. Its not the thought "someone has their needs", we can live without sex, its okay, but sometimes you wish more, and you are not wrong for dreaming big. Rogue has the right to dream big, to love, to touch, to give herself to someone and be loved, touched, desired. She has the right to have dirty fantasies and even, maybe, dream of having children of her own.
It is unfair to her to remind her what she alredy knows. She never forgot her love for gambit, for the thing deeper than her skin, but with that she was also reminded that even with happy moments she couldn't kiss him desperatly without bringing him pain. It is not causing herself pain that scares her, but hurting someone she loves the most. And we gotta agree that he saying that to her was probaply the most unfair thing someone could have ever said to another. Gambit was wrong, and unfair. And i do think he was childish in this moment, even though he was also hurt.
With saying this to her, I think he scared her, wronged her for choosing herself, her dreams and needs over love. Im not saying "she should have choose sex over love", because I know her moment with Erik was long gone, and probably wasnt so deep as the present one with gambit, but i do know she loved Erik, as he was wholeheartly given to her. There was just so more complex things between rogneto than i could say right now, but the point is: she has the right of being loved, and choosing this for her, even if it isnt with somebody we would like to.
She has the right of choosing herself and not being called selfish for that, because she is not wrong. She cannot be wrong in this matter, its her life we are talking about. We know how much of a hell her powers are to her, so, how can you blame her for choosing a path that wrong bring her or the ones she loves pain??
I do know that in the comics she learns how to control her powers and so many more things, but im talking about EP. 5, that little moment when everything seemed so... hard to go thru. Do not wrong my girl, she deserves to be happy and dont even try saying shit about Erik to favor your r*my, because Magneto may has done plenty wrong things in his life, but he also loved her more than he could put into words. He loves her in every universe, even if she does not choose him.
(not to forget the difference between their reaction on being rejected, but this is a matter for another time)
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blood-grove · 4 months
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Werewolf Bites
pervious <- discomfort -> next stage of infection
tws; sickness , injuries , vomiting , violence, no use of y/n
parings: gaz x male reader (established relationship)
-> c/n - call sign
-> n/n - nickname
Fuck
You feel like you've said that too many times now.
But it was right once again.
The fluorescent lights were killing you as you squinted around the room your eyes landing on a blurry figure entering the room they said something something as they talked too your side.
It was all muffled you just stared up at them.
You probably look stupid now eyes all unfocused and ears still faintly ringing as your hearing came back staring up at them like a bug.
"..God you're probably too drugged up to even remember the past few days..maybe even too out of it to understand this again."
Again.
Hm.
You blinked as he came into focus finally.
Oh right, Kyle.
"Again?"
"..Yeah Lovie..nice to see you awake again you've been in and out of it..How's the shoulder..?"
Right the bite.
You could barely feel it really but with a quick glance at it and more colors of bruises than the rainbow itself, you guessed the drugs were working great for you to feel barely anything.
"..Can't feel it much.."
"..Good..they upped your dosage enough the last time you woke you were sobbing near screaming in pain..I..It hurt to see you like that.."
"..Oh sorry.."
He just sighed chuckled as he shook his head and gently pressed a kiss to your forehead as he leaned down.
"Don't apologize..You've been through so much..Mission was a success though..The guys have been checking in on you too.."
"..Ghost too..?"
"Yes, love..I still don't understand why you think he hates you over a small prank.."
You just whined huffing it was a small prank honestly but it feels like you've done something horrible, You could blame your anxiety or whatever the hell else is wrong with you.
But you blamed yourself.
"..Try not to think about it much..Focus on healing up.."
And focus you did.
A day had passed and you fever had gone down.
They took you off your IV and finally gave you the all-clear for a mostly solid lunch a sandwich, some apples, medicine.
Water.
You had ate everything else swallowing your pills dry.
You couldn't stand the taste of the water though.
Maybe it was just your tastebuds being weird.
Next day you luckily got juice.
Gaz visited when he could ill you were eventually back up on your feet with a still sore and off-colored shoulder.
You'd still have to get some checkups for it it would have returned back to its normal color by now you weren't that worried though you were feeling great really.
You were told to take it easy minimal training meant you were still benched on Price's order and your begrudging acceptance.
But there were pros the main being that now you were cuddled up gently with Gaz who carded his hand gently through your hair peppering kisses along your face grinning.
"I missed you so much.."
"You saw me everyday.."
"I..I mean I missed holding you..Being close like this with you.."
"..I missed you too."
God, you didn't know how you got with such an incredible man.
Luck? Pity?
Maybe both.
The day you confessed you honestly thought your heart would give out when he just giggled.
That sly man of course had to tease you he already knew the rest of team knew your schoolgirl crush on Kyle.
You weren't subtle about it.
Following him around and 'coincidentally' ending up in the same room as him.
Just being close to him made you feel all fuzzy, You didnt want to be seen as a creep but you just loved everything about him.
You both never talked about marriage but you'd give everything you had to be with him to please him the lingering fear of showing such love to him still hung around.
You fear you'd break if he left you.
Us.
"Love?"
"Mm..?"
Oh he was looking at you all concerned.
Why.
Did you do something wrong? You didnt mean too.
Please dont be upset.
"You whined..Is it your shoulder..?"
"I did..?"
"Yeah..you did.."
"Its nothing.."
You shifted as you sat up in bed ignoring the tug at the back of your mind to sit and stay.
Why were you thinking like this now?.
"Love..c'mon speak for me please.. Whatever ever it is you can tell me."
"I-..I don't know..I just..feel off.."
"You must be..youve been cooped up in the medical ward for days.."
"Yeah..I guess its that.."
You sighed as you felt him gently kiss your sore shoulder.
"Hows the shoulder..?"
"Sore..achy..but fine."
"Mm..Well thats better.."
He smiled, God that smile.
You didnt resist when he gently brought you back to laying down his hands gently glided his hands over your arms and thighs before coming back up to cup your face.
"Heh.."
"What..? Is..Is there something on my face?"
"If you mean the adorable look your giving me then yeah.."
"Oh hush.."
You both laid like that for a bit enjoying the quiet.
"Love you n/n"
"Love you too.."
a/n: hopefully this is good kinda of rushed the end
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midnight---hollow · 5 months
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Ok i need to yap for a second
I love how well written and thought out the ipc is in honkai star rail. I feel in general we dont always get the best discussions about capitalism and giant corps because said giant corps are usually sponsoring or are creating them most of the time so there is usually bias. I just saw some of the boothill story lore leaks and im not gonna talk about them here cus leaks but it gave me real big appreciation for how the ipc is handled.
Im personally a real big fan of complicated situations in my fictional stories. Ever since mob psycho ive gained a new lens of trying to find sympathy and reason for any situation, keeping my own opinions and preferences while still understanding the other side. I feel star rail has done a great job at show casing the many sides of the ipc even if i for one really dont like the ipc and its my least favorite organization
(I feel i should also say this is an opinion piece and im not informed enough on the real life issues as i would like to be. I just want to yap my opinion out and express why i find joy in this and maybe even come back later with more research to make another post but with references and proof to explain why besides what i remember and like. If i do get anything wrong then please inform me cus i would like to learn more about this and plan to)
|Spoilers for basically all the ipc related things in hsr|
I started out hating them cus i just dont like capitalist corps and they just rubbed me the wrong way. When the arum alley event happen i was originally pissed at it because even though it was confirming my beliefs of “big corp bad” it felt cheap and like almost every other story told by a big corp trying to tell us big corps are bad. Yknow the “look at this obviously in the wrong guy dont be like him, look at him get his comeuppances in the end and ignore how we actually are alot more complicated and worse than this super evil and obvious example”
arum alley then did something i didnt expect. It gave nuance to the story. It started out with that obvious example yes but the next one wasnt that obvious, the next part of the event talked about how some workers feel they wont be able to sustain their lives as independent workers and feel they need to work for the big corps for a safe job and it started getting into the logistics of big corp vs independent business. Yeah we where fighting them but there where reasons and concerns and fears to be given. It wasnt just big corp bad it was “yeah big corp bad but here is why and here is also how its good” and it brings up the questions on what can be done so we dont need to rely on big corp
Topaz and her whole arc is another situation i find interesting. Topaz is a character i dont care to much about to be honest but i think she plays a good role in this whole ipc debacle. To me she feels like she represents someone who used the system because they needed to and made it work and flourished in the system. Her planet was basically unlivable and she lived in a capitalist waste that failed. In comes the ipc and they are almost what her world was but better for they offer to help and save them. All they need to do is sign their lives away to join the ipc and they did and their planet flourished because of it. Topaz herself was able to rise the ranks into being a cornerstone. I think her story shows both the light and dark of the ipc because they saved her planet but they only did it because it benefited them, if they didnt sign their lives away it is very likely topaz and everyone on her planet would have suffocated from the toxins and died. They had no choice but to join the system and its stated in game that topaz’s planet is one of the few that where able to be saved.
That’s probably what i like most about the playable ipc characters, it reminds us that these big corps arent just mustache twirling bad guys, it reminds us there are people there just trying to keep going and some of them are genuinely trying to do right and think what they are doing is right. Again topaz for example, she genuinely believes what she was doing was for the good of belabog. She saw a planet so similar to her own and i think she did what she thought was right and tried to help them (i dont think what she did was right but i can see where she comes from in thinking its right) i also think its showing that when she learned their was a way out for belabog that allowed them to not give their lives away to the ipc she gave in and stopped trying to convince them. She risked her own job security to allow them that right and because she didnt force an entire planet of innocent people who just got out of a horrible situation to sign their souls away (including the children mind you) she got demoted. Im not saying that she deserves a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum esp after she tried killing us, she is a rich, a conerstone, owns an exotic pet that she throws into battle and design her gun after, is a high member of said capitalist big corps, im just saying this is a very nuanced and interesting situation that i like to think about because there are so many thoughts and arguments
The whole belabog vs ipc thing was interesting in general for me because i think it was just such a good concept to bring forth the conversation of the goods and bads of big corps. Technically the ipc does have the right to want their century old debt repaid (ignoring the fact we later learned the robots where never used i think idk the end was confusing ngl) yet also at the same time we as people have a hard time siding with them when belabog didnt even know they where in debt because they where so isolated because of the stellaron and they just got out of the stellaron crisis and are trying to make their world habitable and yknow survive. We cant blame them for being unable to pay a humongous debt when these where the same people who stood in awe as march shower them a photo of their planet that she took while on the express. It creates a situation where yeah technically the giant corp has a right to take that money because its theirs but its still feels so cruel to make them have to cough it up right now with only a few days time. Belabog is basically forced to sign that deal because there is no way they could have payed that off they where doomed the moment topaz set foot on the planet. I remember talking to each of the people in belabog and getting their opinions on the matter and constantly having to rethink my stance because there where so many good points for why they should and so many for why they shouldnt. I can go on and on about this but this bit is already to long.
Aventurine!!! Aventurine aventurine oh where to start. Unlike topaz i actually like aventurine alot he is just such a well written character but we arent here to talk about how amazing him and the games writing is we are here to talk about the capitalist cooperation he is a cog in. Aventurine in a sense has a similar story to topaz but its more cruel and less happy. The ipc didnt save him, the ipc what going to arrest him and its thanks to his luck and a deal with the devil (or in this case a bet with a snake) that he was able to become aventurine.
I havent seen the writen stuff for him in his characters story because i dont have him but i will say from what i saw during the main story, something i question alot is what the ipc did during the avgin genocide. This might be a small tangent but the avgins said they had the support of the ipc. What happened that caused for the entire avgin civilization to be wiped out when they had the help of people with better weapons and armor and equipment. Apart of me is nihilistic enough to think the ipc didnt really care for saving the avgins and might have used the katakans attack as a way to know out the two groups that where causing them the most trouble but at the moment i dont know if theres anything supporting this theory so its just a crack theory
Aventurines spot in penacony is again interesting. Penacony is a prison planet of the ipc, that was taken over and turned into a party paradise thanks to the hamrony, family, and a stellaron. Aventurines goal was supposed to be to put penacony back in the ipcs control and to be honest i cant tell if thats his plan or not because of how crazy and confusing the story was (i loved it) but that being said it is another example how how grey ipc is. It isnt just a big bad corp there are people with lives and in avens case, people trying to gain their freedom with any risks necessary. I also think again the ipcs role in penacony is like belabog, very interesting, just for different reasons.
Penacony is based off America and in this case im assuming the ipc is their Britain. I feel like if you ask most people they would say that the ipc is the only group in penacony they hope fails (minus aventurine again i feel everyone wants aven to succeed even if we want ipc to fall) but i think the family being as grey as they are (basically a cult and also a representation of newer day amarica and its “its us or them” mentality in a way. I can make another yap ses about that lmao) adds an air of mystery and confusion on who we want to succeed since they are on two very different sides of the board so if one wins the other loses. It makes it feel like a fight of two big corps against each other and not really knowing who to support. Do you want to support the capitalist or the cult, pick your poison. We need the rest of penacony for me to go more in-depth on my opinion of ipc here and to rant but i can say its already making me question and argue both sides with what we have seen so far
That was fun for me. I havent ranted on tumblr in a long long time but hsr has been my recent hyperfixation and again boothill makes me crazy. While writing this is made me start to think about how much i wanted to talk about the hidden story of immigration i feel penacony is aso trying to tell. I think penacony is handling so many deep and interesting topics and im very excited for the next update. This has made me hyped to talk about the immigration stuff but i want to do reaserch and gain a proper strong stance besides “thats just my opinion.” I think this is an interesting topic and yapping about it made me want to do more reaserch on the topics of capitalism and big corps cus i hate them but i also think its important to know about it and understand there is more to the issue than just stingy old white rich people. I havent even gotten to jade yet. When we learn more about her imma have some words prob
Srry this was long but anyways cant wait till boothill comes out so i can get him and his light cone
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kumezyzo · 11 months
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ooo could you write something where y/n and sap have been dating for a while and maybe it’s a bit angsty bc y/n wants everyone to know they’re dating but sap is scared ( or the other way around) of telling people so maybe they have an argument but then he does the cutest n sweetest reveal post ever
if i’m making sense
i feel like this trope is sometimes overused and done incredibly wrong, but i think I've done it justice. thank you so much for requesting 🥰🥰
anyway, enjoy! or dont :) m.list
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bf!sapnap wanted it to be known that you were dating. that you were his, and he was yours. it was a no-brainer for him. he wanted to he able to kiss you in public, let alone go out with you. he wanted to stream with you and show off how amazing you are. but you just weren't ready yet.
you were so sure people would be angry to know he was dating someone rather than be happy you were a good person. you'd heard way too many stories, seen too many situations to think you'd be welcomed with open arms.
and bf!sapnap tried to respect that. but after a few months, it was too much. he wanted to go on dates with you.
"baby?" he asked you softly. you hummed in acknowledgment, looking up from your laptop momentarily. "i wanna tell people about you."
you stopped your movements and looked over to your boyfriend. he looked nervous. and rightfully so. you had been shutting down the idea for the past couple of months.
"nick... we've talked about this..." you told him softly, feeling your heart break at the way his shoulders seemed to droop. he nodded and ran a hand over his face, frustrated.
"i dont give a shit what people think! i just want to be able to leave the house with my girlfriend!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms up in defeat.
"well, i do," you told him incredulously. "i mean, i would get shit on so quickly. a-and not to mention if we went out, it wouldn’t really be peaceful."
"so you don't want to tell people because youre scared?" he crossed his arms.
"yes," you sat up, pushing your laptop off to the side. "im scared. ive never been in the eye of the public and this fandom you have? its fucking crazy."
"but i want to tell them about you. you're my life. and i want to share that with them," he told you simply. as if it could be that simple for you too. "and if they don't like you, i won't care. I'll just tell them all to fuck off."
you let out an amused scoff, "you'll tell them to fuck off?"
"mhm."
"and what else?" you asked, completely amused by the simplicity of his solutions.
"I'll ban all of them," he huffed.
"all of them?"
"yup, all of them. even if theres no one left watching me, i know you'll still be there," he said softly. he stepped closer to you. "and they'll all be gone, knowing that im happy with my girl. and when they see us out on dates, they can fuck right off.
you but your lip, trying to hide your smile. he felt his heart warm at the sight. he already knew your answer.
bf!sapnap who, as soon as you give him the green light, posted a picture of you two to his instagram.
the picture was a selfie of you two. your face was squished up against his and big grins on both of your faces.
you two were just hanging out that day, laying in bed together, and feel particularly cuddly. you remember wanting to be as close to him as possible when you took the picture. and that was the result.
he captioned it with "whos that really hot guy next to my gf???"
bf!sapnap who went through the comments and all the tweets with you, feeling content with all the nice comments flooding through and with the smile on your face.
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in the words of an amazing poet: yeet, yeet, skert, yeet yeet, skirt, skirt, skirt. roll up. drop that. skirt that. pop that-
im sorry, i dont know what came over me.... -nony
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