#ive died fucking repeatedly

[penisliker-moved]

ngl fucking pissed

[jawz]

can't stop thinking about shannon hanchett's death. i feel sick. i don't even know if something like justice exists for what was done to her.

[haemosexuality]

most of the schools i went to were catholic to its rlly surprising that i never had any type of religion class. it didnt actually affect anything other than us being made to stand in line and pray before class (and also sing the national anthem) but like you could just, Not do that and be chill

[arolesbianism]

Some Brute doodles plus a bonus Button

[sunfortune]

hiiii i recently watched kanthony (the so called bridgerton show or whatever) and was wondering if u have any fic recs... 👉👈🤭

okay i litchrally have never compiled a list bc i have read too many to keep them organized. but ill do it. Finally. for YOU.

first. my fav period setting fics <33:

tete a tete by caciopepebowl (14k~) this is REQUIRED reading to ME. its a quick read that explores kate and anthonys roles in their family. with an emphasis on KATE specifically bc of the additional hurdles of being a woman with limited funds. and anthony losing his mind on her behalf while shes breaking his heart by being like "the way i was treated was normal?? you dont know anything" and hes like "what? kate you deserved everything. you deserve ALL the love in the world!!" and shes all ">:( well if i do. you do too." . and hes like "oh. well...no. you see.. bc i suck" and shes like -_-. its really sweeeeeet and lovely <3) and really finally gave me the exploring of kates family issues that THE SHOW DID NOT!!!

the longest betrothal by caciopepebowl. (90k~) my FAVVVVV regency setting fic. its sooo good. its basically a continuation that fills in the gap AFTER they get engaged but BEFORE theyre married. and them trying SO hard to be normal about how in love they are lol. SO funny and sweet. and with IMMACULATE characterization

in vino veritas by wagamiller. (~10k) a one shot about kate going to a ladies society event and coming home drunk to anthony and him being soooo smitten with her. sauuuur cute. ive read this like 4 times <3 its soooo good

for reasons wretched and divine by penny_loaf. (~18k. locked fic. need an account.) basically kate and anthony get stuck in a time loop on that first day edwina is receiving suiters. they both think theyre alone in the loop and its depressing until they realize the other is stuck with them too. they try to break the loop and fail repeatedly. after a while they just give up and start fucking bc theres no consequences so who cares LOL. surprisingly tender and sweet

the harsh light of day by burnerraccount. (~22k. locked) explicit one shot. kate has the idea that they should fuck before they get married so theres less pressure on the wedding night. she decides all this without mentioning it to anthony (LOL). so she shows up at his house the night before their wedding. and his footman is like "theres a woman outside to see you" and he in all his goofy almost-married bliss is like "i dont want to see Any woman but my gorgeous, beautiful, amazing WIFE" and his footman is like "well. you see.. it is your wife. uh fiance" and anthonys like "[voice crack] huh ?". very FUNNY

green in its many hues by burnerraccount. kate and anthony decide they are going to be chaste and proper leading up to their wedding. they suck at it SO bad lol

next. modern AUS my best friends <33:

la semi dolce vita by caciopepebowl (~170k) my FAVVVV modern au of ALL time. kate is a private chef. anthonys family hires her when they go on vacation. hes being so normal about it. i promise. this is one of the best characterizations of kate AND anthony in a modern setting. with an extra emphasis on focusing on kate issues. and not JUST anthonys. which is what makes the dynamic sooo good. 10/10. hot. and i love LOVE <3

close encounters of the acutest kind by caciopepebowl (WIP ~74k. only incomplete fic ill put on this list i PROMMY. bc its by the prev author. and i Looove their writing and its sooo good so far <3) kate and anthony meet for the first time the DAY her dad died which is also the SAME DAY hyacinth is born. theyre both having a panic attack and end up running into the same empty hospital room to have it. are then intrinsically linked forever. as one is. run into each other multiple times over the years. with different feelings each time. and they are so normal (lying) <3. i love them

chosen & cherished by trash4ficsaboutlurv. (~42k) this is so underrated. kate runs a charity organization. anthony is CEO of whatever the fuck. she goes to his company when theyre holding some audition for what charity theyre going to invest in and kate is the last speaker and when its finally her turn he barely even pays attention. and shes exhausted and overworked and just oveeeer it All. so she ends the meeting and tells him to go fuck himself. LOL. genuinely really good. and hot <3

sidelines by ramarro. (~60k) this was THE quintessential kanthony modern AU in 2022. kates an artist who sees a picture of anthony on tinder and thinks he looks obnoxious (lol) but screenshots the photo so she can use his arms/hands for sketching practice. and then she see him and his grown ass on a date with her BABY sister. and shes like well i was right about him. and lets him know to his face how she feels (LOL). its wild. it slays. read it. theres an explicit follow up to it which also slays

three cities and we never lived here by ramarro. (~25k, ~40k) very different modern au where kate and anthony meet on vacation and are very casual with them both not looking for anything (genuinely for once lol) and then seeing each other multiple times over 2-3 years in different cities and still keeping it casual. but slowly slowly slowlyyyy it doesnt feel as casual as it used to. theres 2 fics in this. the first is kates pov. the second is anthony. both very good.

just go with it by suitsusboth. (~18k) kate when booking a flight sees the potential titles like ms, mrs, dr, and "viscountess" listed as a legit option and has a laugh like whos picking this goofy shit and accidentally clicks it. and then on her flight gets upgraded to first class next to anthony bc they assumed she was his wife. and he tries to be mad about it. but well. hes stupid for her in every universe so lol. funny and sweet

the air i breathe and the bane of my existance by the_loosest_moose. (image fic) these are textfics told through instagram, twitter, article and text message screenshots. with some regular text. would just check them out to gauge how you feel about the storytelling method. very fun reads once you get the hang of it

heirlooms by waterlilyrose. (~12k) modern au where kate gets anthonys ring stuck on her finger for days and has to wait to get it off. he is of course very normal about it

a devils love by irony_rocks. (~57k) this may not be for everyone but kanthony season came out around the same time as The Batman (2022) and as someone who was crazy insane about both. this was the MOMENT for me in spring 2022. its a crime mafia type au where kates character is inspired by selina kyle and the pebble lounge she worked at in the batman movie. and well. if youre about that specific combo check it out. its not a batman au

break point (series) by penny_loaf. (multiple. ~25k) this a tennis au which you wouldnt think would be that deep but it is and its sooooo good. it really delves into the pressure of the world its set in on top of the issues kate and anthony ALREADY have. and as an ANGST and crazy, complicated characters STAN...very GORGEOUS to ME <3 and hot

take me home by kendal_lynne. (~12k) romcom type explicit one shot where kate makes the mistake of telling anthony her ex couldnt make her come. and hes all like i can do it volunteer as tribute PLEASE PKLEASE PLEASE PICK ME CHOOSE ME PLWASEE etc

we never made a sound by writergirl8. (~4k) spy au that was soooooo good and sexy. i wish it was longer

with elaichi by serendipityinwords (~6k) the two biggest bitches at a dinner party find out they're soulmates. LOL. hilarious dialogue

theres probably more i loved that im not remembering rn and maybe ill update this but for now have fun! yippee <3

[aachria]

once again writing as im reading yk how it is

You apologizing in the notes for a longer chapter will never fail toget me hyped and sorta nervous 🧍‍♀️

SABO AND LUFFY REUNION I LOVE THEM

"So did you (get taller) , thank you for staying alive long enough for me to know that" aachria the writer that you are 😭 you always manage to make me emotional

Snakebite/fangs sabo my beloved ALSO SEPTUM PIERCING SABO??? HIM HAVING A SHIT TOM OF PIERCINGS??? AACHRIAAAAA. WRITE MORE SABO CHAPTERS AND MY LIFE IS YOURS.

"…Who the fuck picks a prosethetic that looks like Sans from Undertale???? " Sabo the man you are

AACHRIA. PLEASE. IM AT THE "ACE TO BE EXECUTED" PART. WTF. WHAT WHAT WHAT 😭 UHM. I knew my ass was being too hopeful about both of them being there 😕 i shouldn't have trusted you.

If Ace dies. I'll cry. /th. You'll cry too so please don't kill him 🙏‼️

NOOOO ED DONT BLAME YOURSELF ITS NOT UR FAULT YOU WERE LIKE ⅘S DEAD ATP FR

THE VIVRE CARD OMG AACHRIA PL3ASE HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO US HOW COULD YOU 😭😭

"I can’t save him. I can’t save him, I can’t save him I CAN’T SAVE HIM I CAN’T SAVE HIM— " ricky when i catch you Ricky. I dont wanna call this foreshadowing cause that might give you ideas and i predicted quite a bit of stiff right. So i predict Portgas D. Ace will Live.

MONKEY D. LUFFY THE MAN YOU ARE 😭

I want you to know i cried at the Luffy comforting and forgiving Ed part 😕

" “How can you say that?” I croak, trying to find any hint of dissension in his expression. “How can you not believe it?” he counters." 😕😕😕😕😭😭😭😭 you're a bully

ED COWBOY HAT ED COWBOY HAT ED COWBOY HAT OMG IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS BUT IT WOULDVE BEEN BETTER HAD ACE BEEN THE ONE TO GIVE IT TO THEM IN PERSON ANOTHER REMINDER THAT YOU'RE A BULLY. A MEAN MEAN BULLY 😭

ACES NOTE OMG I LOVE HIM SM HE BETTER NOT DIE 😭

" Bit of a shit way to meet and in law but hi" and then no elaboration is so funny 😭

PLANNING FUCK YEAH I ALWAYS LOVE THISE SEQUENCES IN FICS

Did. Did failure make ed forget about the kuma sending everyone away thing? Or are they gonna try to put it off til after marineford??? Or is it just not gonna happen at all???

Ed repeatedly saying "i love competent people" with kore and more intensity 3ach time is so real what a mood

Jonah mentioned 🤭 love to see sabo and ace bonding

ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK

"Unquestionably" 🤭🤭🤭

im still worried abt wtf is gonna happen a propos the strawhats separation

Amazing chapter as always excited to see the next chapter that you might post on Wednesday THANK YOU SO MUCH ‼️

GUYS I PROMIE I'M NOT APOLOGIZING I'M MAKING A STATEMENT BECAUSE I'M A BIG CONSISTENCY GIRLIE AND I FIGURE YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW GOING IN THAT IT'LL BE LONGER THAN YOU'D TYPICALLY THINK. LIKE IF YOU THINK YOU CAN READ A CHAPTER BEFORE GOING SOMEWHERE AND DON'T GET TO FINISH BECAUSE IT'S LONGER THAN YOU EXPECED. I DON'T KNOW.

but yeah getting you hyped and nervous is pretty much the intended effect.

I was trying real hard to keep faithful to the feelings from the canon Sabo and Luffy reunion while also not having Ace being DEAD as the driving force of the thanks (the ASL brothers thanking each other is something that can be so personal—) and I'm, if nothing else, content with where it ended up. Fuckin' love those two.

Nothing shows how much you love a character like giving them fucktons of piercings and just generally disregarding their canon design. He is my special little guy and I will make him strange and weird like he deserves and if that included stealing his fucking eye and making it more awesome and also poking a myriad of holes in his face, who's to stop me?

I am terribly trustworthy excuse you. I never said I wasn't going to do terrible things. I asked if you thought I'd do terrible things and I hoped I wouldn't do terrible things, but I never made any promises. Hheh.

I also make no promises not to kill Ace. For the record. But I will cry absolutely.

If there's one thing about Ed, it's that if they're given a chance they will martyr the SHIT out of ANYTHING. Like pookie please your saviour complex is showing.

I was so ready for someone to call out the recurring smoked fish joke like 'hmmmm smoked fish you say kinda of like SMOKE from something BURNING IS IT?!" and then that didn't happen and I felt vindicated. And please when have I ever used foreshadowing before. Doesn't sound like me at all.

Luffy is my hero you GO bestie COMFORT that idiot YEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH—

Look that cowboy hat is fantastic and my catalyst for cowboy Ed, who can only get more cowboy cunty from here. Nothing say pirate quite like a cowboy.

Oh yeah baby Ed is very aware of Kuma. There's a bunch of you shits who were real concerned about them forgetting and to that I say the first little sequence of next chapter was supposed to be on the end of last chapter, but it was already too damn long so I had to split 'er up. It'll make more sense when you read it.

I LOVE COMPOTENT PEOPLE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ED AND LUFFY PRISON BREAK ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

Yeah.... the separation.........

Anyway yeah I didn't end up doing to Wed update because I had a bad week but there WILL be one this week ‼️‼️

[yesterdaysnewts]

so i just finished the first season of house md and let me say

your attachment to wilson is understandable, that man has the biggest brownest eyes ive ever seen

house on the other hand has the scariest blue eyes known to man pls buy her brown contact lenses

i actually like cameron x house i would potentially like to see more of that she is a very nice contrast to house and i rlly want to see that dynamic explored even though the season 1 finale did make it pretty clear that hes still in love with stacey

speaking of which im looking forward to seeing how her presence in the hospital shakes things up

im very glad they got rid of vogler or whatever his name was i had vivid hallucinations of punching him in the face repeatedly everytime he was on screen

i want to find out what the deal with foreman is. he has matching shows with house. he hates homeless people. he committed a crime at 16. he broke into a patients house to figure out how to comfort her while she died. literally who is this man i need to knowwwww

that brings me to chase. i cant figure him out either, first hes a brown nose to house, then hes snitching on him every chance he gets, he doesnt need to money but he wants his job, he is somehow to coolest person in this show and the lamest, he wears a leather jecket and looks like he belongs in a pantene commerical. hes my favourite

also i want it to be actually brought up that house plays piano? like in the first season there are 4 seperate times he plays piano (tho he only mimes playing it one time so technically only three)

GOD this show i cant believe i didnt watch it sooner

wilson really does have the most wettest biggest brownest eyes i have ever seen and it makes him so scrunkly i need to put him in a bag and bash that bag into a brick wall

and yea houses eyes are fucking terrifying and the worse thing is that someone on a discord server once edited him to have brown eyes and somehow it was scarier

also you are like the first person ive seen express a like for cameron x house so honestly god speed for that but you do bring up some banging fucking points

live laugh love stacey that is really all i have to say to that her and house have such a good juicy relationship

fun fact vogler only exists because fox wanted someone to like oppose house and that so the writers threw him in and in process made chase a dickhead (still bbg tho)

also FOREMAN, god i love him so much like mans presents himself as like 'oh smart doctor, id want this man to be my doctor' but then as the show progresses you just end up looking at him like 'what happened here'. in s3 you do properly start to see how he parallels house and it is scrumptious top tier telly and, like chase, he is a fucking dickhead. and the car thing as well cos like he goes on about how he pulled himself out of that but then you watch and he clings to normalcy and making something of himself its brilliant

and the shit himself chase. i find it so fucking funny how his first name is robert like he does not fucking look like a robert. and his relationship with house like fucking hell, you can tell chase is desperately trying to separate himself from his actual dad and by doing that he clung onto his work and especially house in an attempt to do that.

also 'he wears a leather jacket and looks like he belongs in a pantene commercial. he is my favourite' speaks for itself cause yeag.

unfortunately i don't actually think its bought up that house can play piano later on but you do get to see him play other instruments which is fun cause hugh laurie is a really good musician and im so happy they gave house interests outside of just medicine

happy watching the show is gonna make you go just a bit insane

[suffarustuffaru]

otto, doing something with good intentions: are you sure you want me in your life. i bring a lot of trouble you know. and i helped you just for my own benefit. this money isnt mine by the way. so like im gonna give it to you. just out of pity or whatever. no its not my money haha why would it be my money. also we didnt like Murder those people haha why would we do that? they fell off on accident <3 dont worry i lied to the authorities for your sake - i mean. they. um. i told them the truth about what happened hahah. also did i mention already that youre better off without me in your life. and im gonna leave the moment theres danger. just so you know. so like dont be surprised if i leave you. also im not gonna tell you why im doing any of this for you. the reason why is so boring anyway. its not like i care or anything. idiot. but also maaaaybe im kind of the worst person ever oopsies 🫢 and can you stop putting yourself in danger. its.................................. a lot of work for me and totally not concerning me at all. ugh why am i still stuck in this goddamn job. yeah i know i couldve left like a year ago, im staying here because. because. um. well im too USEFUL now the entire place would fall apart without me. who else is gonna do your paperwork huh?? i do it way better than all of you because all of you SUCK ASS at everything around here. no its not like i Care that much. like yeah youre my friends but i already warned you ages ago about the consequences of keeping me around so you deserve me complaining to you actually.

otto, doing something bad: i LITERALLY mean well okay :<<<< this is FOR YOUR OWN GOOD why arent you thanking me on the spot and listening to my advice already. ive never been wrong about anything EVER in my whole life. you should be bowing down to me and kissing my little forehead and telling me im right BECAUSE I AM. im the BEST PERSON EVER right now. i LITERALLY deserve so much better than this. im going to save all of your asses and then youre going to come fucking crawling back to me the moment you need me again, i guarantee it <3 im Extremely useful and youd miss me the moment im gone. right? right. right. im right, right? please notice me and listen to my extremely good advice 🥺 why are you saying its bad advice??? cmonnn stop ignoring me :((( just because im lying to you, keeping secrets from you, manipulating you, hoping everyone else dies for your sake, repeatedly trying to abandon millions of people, etc etc DOESNT MEAN that im wrong and ive Never been wrong. Ever. .......yeah a bunch of people are gonna die, so what? have they tried like, not standing in the way of my goals? 🥺

[slasher-jax]

Silent Death

Days Gone Bye <pt 1>

{Rick POV}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The soft buzz of the ventilator, and continuous beeps of the heart monitor is all I hear as a distorted Shane comes into my view.

"Hey, bud," he said, his voice sounding far off as my labored breathing over powered his voice. He leaned down, his voice becoming slightly easier to hear, "We're still here. We're still hanging in." He looked down at me before shaking his head, "I'm sorry man. I know I say the same crap every time I come in here," he sighed before messing with the flowers that were in a vase that seemed familiar to me. "Everybody pitched in on these. They... they wanted me to bring 'em down. They send their love and they just..." he took a deep breath, "They hope you come back real soon." He sighed again before looking from be to the flowers, then back at me again, "Linda and Diane from dispatch, they picked these out," he began picking at one of the flowers, "Probably could tell, huh?" He took another deep breath before speaking, "I'm gonna gonna sit these on your side table, okay?" He walked out of my line of view and I heard his footsteps head away before I heard nothing at all.

I took slow delayed breaths, "That vase... That's something special." I spoke, my throat sore as I speak. "Fess up, you steal it from your Grandma Jean's house?" I chuckle softly, "Hope you left her that spoon collection." I begin laughing even more before coughing.

"Shane?" I questioned, looking over towards where I'd seen him walk off to. "Shane, you in the john?" I ask again, my voice bouncing off the walls in the silent hospital.

I look over at the flowers again, just to find that they were wilted. I slowly reach a hand up to touch them, a crackling sound emitting from it as I rub the hard petals between my fingers. I look over at the clock, 2:17.

I blink my eyes repeatedly before moving my other hand, removing the clip off my thumb. I grunt softly as I take the air-tubes out of my nose and begin trying to sit up. I grab the IV pole before beginning to stand up, immediately collapsing.

"Nurse, help," my breathing comes in quick, raspy gasps. Maybe they didn't hear me? "Nurse, help," I repeat, a deep pain in my throat as I try to speak.

I continue huffing as I make my way to the bathroom, opening the door and pushing the rest of the medical equipment from my arm. I look at my self in the mirror before I lean down and turn the faucet on, cupping my hands under the flowing water and quickly drinking water.

{???'s POV}

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuck, my car had broken down miles back and I had been walking for hours now, Glitch following closely behind. Every now and again a geek would pop out from nowhere and I would put an axe through it's head, but other than that it was boring. My tracking devices battery had died a while back so I had no way of finding Vesper.

I felt a cold nose press to the back of my thigh and I turned around, noticing a geek following behind the two of us. A small sigh escaped through my nose as I walked up to it, pulling out an axe and slinging it down, directly down it's skull. It took a bit of hacking as it had gotten dull about five and a half geeks ago. I shook my head slightly before I began walking again.

I look to my side, noticing a hospital. I bet their are some sterile scalpels and needles in there. A few of the stitches keeping my mouth shut had popped or began bleeding and it was what was probably leading these son of a bitch'n geeks towards us. I look back at Glitch with a smile before tapping my right heel against the ground, signaling for him to follow closely behind me.

I walk up the stairs to the door before trying to open it. Locked, great. I sigh dramatically through my nose again. There has to be some sort of fire escape or something. I think walking around the front. Eventually I find an unlocked window.

I snap my fingers twice, signalling to Glitch to go climb a tree or something to stay safe. I knew the inside was going to be dangerous, and I would much rather be dead meat inside rather than him be dead meat for trying to protect me. He growled slightly while glaring at me, his baby blue eyes looking at me with worry. Me and him had an understanding, almost as if he could read my mind much like Vesper.

Vesper. Please be safe Ves, I sighed thinking about my second in charge, however I knew making her go on without me would keep her safer, I just wished I had contact with her, our walkie talkies had been long forgotten in a completely different room so we had no way to contact each other, not unless I could get some batteries for my tracker.

I shook my head slightly, knowing she was safe. She always was. She hated hurting people, but she'd watch me do it for her for breakfast. We just had that kind of bond. She always knew what I wanted to say, even if I couldn't. I had often tried to get my mouth free, but without a doctor, the chances of me losing my tongue were high, plus, with my mouth all stitched up and my tongue stitched to the roof of my mouth, I was a lot more threatening.

I glared right back at him and he shook his head before walking away, hopping into a tree for safety. I sighed again before I began struggling with the window. I eventually was able to tug it open and climb in, I was in some sort of waiting room. I look around for anything and everything before noticing some things that look like they might have batteries in them.

I grab the multiple remotes and tossed them into the bag I was carrying before walking out and down a hallway, past a reception area. I was keeping a close eye out for geeks, I know that almost all hospital's had been cleared out, but you never knew what things found their ways in. My ear twitched as I heard movement.

I refrained from slinging my head in that direction, not wanting to bring unwanted attention onto myself. I slowly turned and after seeing nothing, I decided to go the other way. I found another hallway, noticing a body laying on the ground. The lights were flickering as I pushed a wheelchair out of the way while approaching it, grabbing a knife just in case.

Is that a geek? Or is it already done for? I question, looking at the seemingly dead girl. Her face had splattered blood covering it while the rest of her body was drenched in her own. The girl was very pale and had platinum blonde hair. I gagged mentally as I looked at the brownish blood that covered her. I was one to like looking at gory stuff, but this was just sick. Her stomach had been ripped open and her organs spilled out of her stomach, now that I looked closer, the majority of her skin had been ripped off as well, those monstrous things skinned her.

As I approach it to walk past, I here another noise, this time it was through the doors in front of me. Was that, a match? I question as I slowly approach, putting my knife away and grabbing one of the axes I hadn't used yet, ensure it would easily go through anything in case of the worse case scenario, a herd of them things. But geeks can't light matches, can they?

As I approach I hear slow, deliberate footsteps. I notice a room and hide just in case, realizing I might be able to make my way around to attack from behind. As I find my way to the other side, the person had already turned to face me, I went to swing but I realized pretty quickly that it was human, in fact it was a man.

He flinched back, but quickly realized I had stopped my axe. I look down and notice a bandage on his stomach. I looked back up at him, a questioning look on my face. He was staring at my mouth, more like the bloody beds that was my mouth.

"Who are you?" He spoke slowly. I just kept looking at him silently, not much I could say anyways. He looked back at the thing before looking at me again, his focus re-arriving at my stitches. "Right. Uh, my names Rick, Rick Grimes. Do you know what the hell happened here?" I look at him before looking back at the little girl, shaking my head softly.

I look down at his bandage again, pointing at it with the tip of my axe as a way to ask, what happened to you?

Thankfully he knew what I was asking and answered, "I was shot."

I raise my eyebrow softly before shaking my head, deciding that if he's lying and he turns, then I'll just kill him, no big deal, I've done it before, I'll do it again. I look around and notice a medication room. I nod towards it before tossing him a knife while I enter it. He looked at me like I was crazy before eventually deciding to, slowly, follow me. I simply pushed him back out and began taking all the medical supplies and medication that was in there, which was a lot.

Why didn't I think of this before? I wondered walking back out and noticing him holding the knife in the hand that wasn't clenched to his stomach. I tap his shoulder slightly and he turns to face me, a disturbed look on his face. He handed me back my knife before he began walking away down the hallway again. I noticed two double doors at the end of it. I could hear the chains clinking together as we walked up towards it, me trailing behind him, I was still on the lookout for needles. Of all the things I had seen, needles were the only thing I couldn't find, and I didn't want to leave the man who looked like he just woke up from a coma -he definitely did- alone for too long, just in case he turned. For some reason, I had tossed him my favorite knife, and I was not going to let a geek have it.

He continued walking and looked at the walls, multiple splatters of blood and gunshots were in a line on the wall, At least we know where the dead came from now. I thought with a shrug while looking at the bullet holes. I run a finger across one of them as he continued approaching the door, looking at all the blood on the walls and floor. I slowly began following him again, looking up at the broken ceiling as he walked. How all the glass wasn't hurting this dude's feet? I have not a single clue.

As we approached the double doors we noticed the words "DON'T OPEN, DEAD INSIDE" wrote on it along with a plaque above it that said cafeteria. I grabbed Rick's shoulder as a way to tell him to stop. And I pointed at the handles that were tied together with a chain and lock. His breathing was starting to pick up, and I could hear his heart beat quicker with fear as moaning and glass breaking could be heard behind the door.

He began backing into me as the board lifted slightly while the geeks pushed against the door while groaning. They know we're here. I thought, not moving as he practically stood on top of me, yet he continued trying to back up. They started banging on the door, shoving it while the plank struggled to stay inside the door handles.

He begins panting as they push their fingers out while trying to grab onto the board and the chains. He quickly pushes off of me and runs into another quickly before trying to get an elevator to work. It's not gonna work you idiot. I scoff in my head while following him.

I walk up to him before tapping his shoulder and pointing towards a fire exit. He quickly makes his way into it, holding the door open long enough for me to enter before closing it again, leaving us in complete darkness. He coughs slightly before lighting a match. He coughs again as he adjusts to the light before grabbing onto the railing and slowly walking. I grab his hand that was holding into the match box before attempting to lead him. I remember being here before, or somewhere similar at least before the dead started walking. I heard him gasp as the match burnt him, I moved my grip to his wrist so he could light another one.

I would have done it, but if he has been bitten and he didn't tell me, I'd rather him burn his finger tips rather than me. He lights another one, his breathing shaking as he slightly leans on me for balance while walking down the stairs. Could you breathe any louder? I question. If there was a herd of geeks around, I would feed you to them, with your heavy breathing ass. While I could understand if he had just woken up, and this was his first time seeing them, which it probably is, it's still annoying. Almost as annoying as the fact that he wasn't wearing anything other than a pair of boxer shorts, and a hospital robe. I would offer him some clothes, but I doubt mine would fit him. I chuckle softly at the thought, the sound slightly muffled due to the stitches. He glanced over at me almost looking in thought before the match burned his hand again, causing him to drop it and it to go out.

He lit another one just as we approached the exit. Where do I remember this from? I question myself, while looking at this exit. I was receiving a strange sense of dejá vu. It was like I had been here and done this before. I heard him gasp again as the match burned him, I smelt the burning flesh this time so I softly grabbed the matches out of his hand, stopping him from lighting another one before grabbing his hand after tucking the matches away in a pocket. I carefully led him towards the door, my eyes finally adjusting to the dark. I carefully lead him down the stairs and to the door. I feel around it until I find the handle. I push towards the door and open it squinting as the sun assaulted my eyes. Rick didn't let go of my hand, but he did move his other to block the sun as it's rays attempted to punch his eyes.

He finally pulled out of my grip as he kept looking back and forth, trying to block out the sun. My eyes quickly adjusted, like always but I noticed a putrid smell. Body dump. I thought while looking at all of the bodies on the loading dock. Rick stepped away, leaning against the wall while he attempted to adjust to the brightness. He began walking down the stairs with me following not to far behind as I remember why I had the strange sense of Dejá Vu when my eyes landed upon a familiar body.

Dad? I thought, while looking at him, Rick slowly heading down the stairs as the sound of crickets and flies buzzing around filled the empty silence. I walked down behind him, stopping him just before he stepped on a body. He slowly began walking with me following after him, a somber look on my face while I look at my fathers body. His face hadn't been covered so I could still see the bullet wound on his forehead. I walked past Rick and up to his body, moving the body bag up, covering his face. He might not have been a good man to me or anyone else in my family, but he was still my father. Still the man who taught me to shoot, who taught me to fight, who taught me how to hide weapons on myself, no matter the kinds of tests I might have to go through, he was still the man who'd taught me everything I used to survive now.

Rick looked at me and then at the body before speaking, "Was he someone important to you?" He questioned, I nod softly before standing again, tapping my thigh twice, Rick looking at me questionably before jumping back with a gasp as Glitch jumped out of the tree and came running towards me, stopping when he sat just beside me.

Rick looked like he was about to throw up as he actually looked around as I pet Glitch's head. He began walking again, carful not to accidentally step on any of the dead, people? Geeks? Where they people when they were shot? I shook my head softly before following him, Glitch following closely behind me, looking at the bodies in disgust.

Rick began tripping over his own feet as we walked out. I tried to help him stand straight as we walked up, but he simply pushed me away and continued struggling. I looked at him like he was crazy before looking back at Glitch with a 'You see that too, or am I tripping?' look just for him to be looking at me with the same look. I chuckle softly before following Rick up, noticing all of the military vehicles. Military Jeeps, planes, and even a tank sat at the top of the hill.

(Wee Time Skip)

We had been walking for a while, so much so to the point I had offered Rick water a couple of times before placing the bottle to my lips, the liquid slowly dripping past the stitches and into my throat. We were coming up to a park area and I seen a bike, I tapped his shoulder before pointing at it. I had no clue where he was going, but I was going to help him anyways. He hadn't done any wrong to me yet, and something was telling me that this man was going to need my help.

He noticed the bike thanks to my tap and he began walking towards it before something caught his attention. While walking with him, I noticed it too. It was the upper half of a geek, it's intestines hanging out of where it's legs should be. As he grabbed the bike, it started waking up, it's wheezing sadly not foreign to me.

"Ah. Ah. Oh shit." Rick wheezed, falling over with the bike. I walked over to him, Glitch looking at the geek with disgust while I helped Rick up. His breathing got heavy again as the geek growled at us. He stood up and got on the bike as it reached out towards him before looking at me as I still stood there. I would have killed it, I could have, but I would rather not go through having to track down Rick, and it wasn't causing any trouble as of now, so me and Glitch began running after him. He stopped briefly and looked back at me, I nodded at him to go ahead while me and Glitch ran after him, a small smile gracing my stitched mouth, another stitch popping free as we ran causing blood to drop out of my lips.

As we came up to a house he slowly began getting out the bike before tossing it to the side and climbing up the steps of the path that led to the front door. Me and Glitch followed him as he opened the door and ran in.

"Lori." He said as he opened the door. I lifted a brow at the name before looking around.

This must be his home, Lori must be his wife. I thought to myself, I for some inexplicable reason felt a tug on my heart. Whoever this Lori chick is, she's lucky to have someone this distraught over her absence. I thought to myself, patting Glitches head softly, If I went missing, you'd look for me, wouldn't you, boy? I though while looking down at him.

"Lori!" He said again, walking into another room. I wanted to shush him, tell him to be quite, but I couldn't.

I waited at the front door, not wanting to be disrespectful as he went through his house looking for his wife. She's probably long gone by now. Either dead, or on the way to being dead. I thought to myself, Glitch popping down beside me. I sat down next to him, prompting him to lay his head on my lap as I ran my fingers through his fur.

"Carl. Carl!" He yelled. That must be his son. I guessed again, laying my head on the wall. I watched for any movement whatsoever knowing Glitch would move in an instant if he noticed danger. "Shoot." I heard him mumble. "Lori! Carl!" He yelled again.

Glitch quickly moved, recognizing this as danger. I quickly stood before running through the house to find Rick, finding him in the living room by the front door. He was stooped down, either on the verge of crying or crying. I approached him, hearing him sob, a worried look on my face. I approached him even further, him simply looking at me before going back to crying.

"Lori! Carl." He continued, even after a laid my hand on his back, hoping to calm him down. If he continues yelling like this neither of us will survive. He almost fell onto the floor so I grabbed him and pulled him in, hugging him as he cried. I was never good a consoling people, but I was trying my best, just to keep him quiet. He sobbed in my arms while I held him before he placed a hand on my thigh, looking at it before speaking again. "Is this real?" He questioned.

Oh, come on. Not the "Is this real?" type. I thought to myself, having dealt with this type of person before. He eventually pushed himself off of me before speaking again.

"Am I here?"

And, he's, spiraling. I sighed to myself.

He began hitting himself in the face repeatedly, "Wake.. Wake up." He sniffled as I grabbed his hand to stop him from hitting himself. He looked over at Glitch who was more worried about the fact that I was caring for someone who wasn't him or Vesper, than the fact that he was looking at him.

Rick stood and walked past him, out into the yard, leaving me sitting there. I heard his footsteps slowly leave before I let out a sigh I didn't know I was holding in. I looked down at my chest where his tears had stained my shirt. I remember torturing people for even so much a spilling the tiniest bit of water on me, but right now, I just wanted to make sure this man was ok. Maybe losing everything I worked so hard for was enough to drive me mad. I thought to myself before standing as I heard a yell outside.

"Daddy! Daddy!" I seen a little black boy say while I ran out, Glitch trialing not too far behind me.

"Carl." I heard Rick say, "Carl. I found you." He continued.

"Daddy, I got the sumbitch! I'm gonna smack him dead." I heard the boy say, a twig snapping under my foot as I approached them, causing him to quickly turn around and point a shovel at me. Did this kid really just knock Rick out with a shovel? I questioned myself, making a mental note to laugh at him about it later.

I noticed a man walk up to a geek before shooting it in the side of the head. The man ran up to us, pointing the gun at me before pushing what I'm guessing is his son behind him. "He say something? I thought I heard him say something." He asked his son as I put my hands up, tapping my left heel for Glitch to hide behind me.

"He called me Carl." The boy said frantically.

"Son, you know they don't talk." The man said.

So he is the son then, nice. I guessed right. I thought to myself.

"Hey, mista, what's that bandage for?" He questioned, not moving the gun off me.

"W-what?" Rick questioned, I felt bad for him, but there was nothing I could do about it.

"What kind of wound?" The man asked again. Not receiving an answer he turned to me, but before he couldn't ask he noticed my lips. He looked back at Rick after that, realizing that he wouldn't receive an answer out of me either. "You answer me, damn you." He continued, grabbing the shovel and placing it to his neck. "What's ya wound?" He questioned again.

I noticed Rick slowly losing consciousness and took a step forward, just for the man to raise his head and fix his grip on the gun while pointing it at me. "Take another step and I will kill you." Rick finally passed out as he threatened me.

Tags:

@puppet200 @zeroisreallygood @purpleeggyboi @th3-r4t-48 @im-a-simp898 @aflairforthemelodramaticc @luciluck2046 @caretaleandotherstuff @evry1h8s-me

[dailyoyo]

GGs ranked by how quickly they would resort to murdering their friends if they were stuck in a timeloop (Real edition)

my sincerest fucking apologies to pseud for what ive done to their blog.

THAT SAID: on account of this being very long and very grim to the point that most of it is too grimdark to even be funny anymore i am putting it under a readmore. This is a half-joke half-serious post about the ggs getting stuck in a time loop and murdering each other so like. you get what you click on.

also these are all specifically based aroudn our interps/jet set radio paradox obviously so bear that in mind lol

RULES TO MINIMIZE VARIABLES: only one of them knows they're in a time loop, each is a separate scenario where the listed character is the one who knows and remembers. they do not know why the loop is happening and they do not know how to stop it. the span of time the loop happens is relatively normal, though dangerous enough events happen (maybe just normal jsr stuff) that people may accidentally die during it depending on the exempt character's actions. everyone who dies during a loop is alive again when the date rolls back over. everything is back to square one. no consequences. 14. Pots pots is a dog, even if a highly intelligent one. assuming he can even grasp the idea of a time loop (unlikely) i believe it is even further unlikely that he would recognize it as a bad thing. very possible he just stays in the time loop contentedly forever 13. Soda it takes like a week (or until the first "someone dies and comes back") for him to even notice he's in a timeloop (general apathy/depression?). but when he does notice he's pretty together about it. obviously he wants out but he's literally got all the time in the world, he doesn't need to do stupid traumatic shit just to see what happens. he's got this.

12. Jazz WHY WOULD MURDER EVEN BE PART OF THIS EQUATION WHAT THE FUCK? shes not gonna kill anybody and would think its super fucked to even raise the idea. how is that supposed to help. That said. she does keep repeatedly explaining she's in a time loop almost every loop and it is getting to the point that she kiiiiinda wants to strangle someone or two as stress relief because by god is she stressed. she Won't, she's got more sense than that, but. But…

11. Boogie i think she never really goes full murdermode or anything and the very idea of that happening would shock and disturb her, but surprisingly early on she gives into the impulse to push one of the other ggs into traffic (it doesn't matter anyway, right?) and watches them get ran over. and she's like O_O oh jesus fuck that was horrible. and she never kills anyone again during the loops but it HAUNTS her and makes her nervous abt the idea that she COULD do it again.

10. Gum she's mostly level headed, i think, so she wouldn't be quick to resort to madness. but give her enough time and she starts feeling desperate and does some scary shit in the hopes that maybe somehow they'll at least remember next time. like more than anything i think it's the isolation of it that gets to her. maybe she doesn't progress to outright intentional murder, maybe she only tries it once or twice to see if it fixes anything (it doesn't). while she doesn't go full-blown axe-crazy she DOES become incredibly dangerous and desperate to just not be the only one who remembers.

9. Garam while his nerves end up aaaabsolutely shot and he loses all his patience to see the same day happening over and over, i think it would honestly take a while for him to become a danger to the ggs. he'd rather take out his stress on Literally Anything Else. that said he'd reach a point where he accidentally kills someone for real (whether a gg or an unrelated party) and it fucks him up reallll bad, but whether it fucks him up in a "fine whatever i can kill people who cares" way or a "I NEED TO BE CAREFUL THIS NEVER HAPPENS AGAIN HOLY FUCK" way depends on the circumstances.

8. Beat honestly? unless something in particular causes him to suspect one of the ggs is responsible for the loop, it takes a while for it to even occur to him that killing his friends is an option. like maybe he might end up killing the GGs' enemies and maybe even rivals, but if you brought up the idea of killing his FRIENDS to him he'd be like "wait huh??? but why even????" that said, though, keep him in there long enough and he might develop a severe god complex and start doing it purely to power trip.

7. Combo putting him in a time loop i think would really be the last straw in his miserable life. maybe he deserves the right to kill someone at this point really. while he focuses intently on trying to find a way to break the loop, as it all begins to grate on him he really just stops giving a shit about much of anything. the murder isn't a constant thing, more like one or two good ol' kill em all style breakdowns, and obviously it only makes him feel sick to his stomach when the date rolls over, but what can he even do about it?

6. Clutch he tries to play it cool at first and not think about it too hard but it isnt long before a sort of prey animal panic is invoked in him and hes like. I gotta get outta here. I gotta get out of here. Oh my god i gotta get the hell out of here. and it doesn't help that hes really not close with these guys yknow. and any concern from the ggs he reacts to with escalating violence until he reaches the point he's killing them multiple times in hopes that gives him a way out. eventually he just gives up

5. Corn at first the thought of killing his friends doesnt even cross his mind but he becomes increasingly desperate to understand what's happening and soon enough it's a last resort. it's all very methodical testing the limits of the loop and himself, not explaining anything to anyone else because they'll forget anyway and becoming increasingly hostile and isolationist. he doesn't want to but He's out of options. He has to FIGURE IT OUT.

4. Roboy what bothers him more than anything else is the feeling of helplessness over the whole thing and even if the others COULD help him he's not going to try to get their help. he kills the other ggs to feel less powerless, like he has any sort of control over the situation, and all it does is make him feel worse and worse and worse. maybe eventually reaches a point where he starts deleting his memories of the resets in the hopes this breaks the vicious feedback loop but all it does is ensure the cycle never ends.

3. Yoyo If you put yoyo in a situation where nothing he does matters and none of his actions have consequences he will do increasingly crazy dumb shit because it's not like it matters anyway. and he will undergo EXTREMELY RAPID psychological decay that DOES end in him killing members of the ggs just to see what effect it has both on the loop and on others' psyches. and he will just assume that the loop is forever and ever with no way to ever break it.

2. Cube cube upon realizing she and she alone is in a timeloop will rapidly come to the conclusion that she is in actual literal hell. everything wrong with her will come to the surface at once. she will suffer a severe psychological break SO fast and the streets will run red. maybe she's enjoying it. maybe she isn't. but she is convinced this HAS to happen. and that she deserves it. 1. Mew As soon as Mew finds out that deaths don't stick she's going to massacre all of the GGs just to see how it feels. just once. to try it. it's fine. it doesn't matter. Where did she get that higurashi cleaver

bonus: with the way i joke about zero beat maybe he doesnt even notice hes in a time loop until After hes maimed someone to death. i dont know man. im lying. who fucking give a shit

[fortunatelyenchantingtaco]

Sometimes i just think about dragon age 2 maybe an abnormal amount but like. For years ive played it without dlc cause i had it on a disk for xbox. And when i finally played it with them I suddenly found out that in sebastians dlc you’re being told that the church was going to wipe out Kirkwall anyway, and the divine KNEW she just refused to leave. As nice of her as it is, fuck her, btw

Idk to this day it leaves me so insane that it was the info you needed the dlc for. Base game tells you that information post the big boom, like things went insane so we’re requesting a clean up. But the church was going to do that anyway, and templars would have probably killed everyone including the divine and then put it like one big tragedy and said mages did it

I am so not normal about this piece of information. Without knowing it you could still argue that what Anders did wasn’t necessary(not that i would, even without it hes right), but with it? Fuck everything, he was right. It may be wrong to kill civilians but in this case if he didnt do it then no info about what happened in the city would have leaked and people still would have died all the same. There would have been no rebellion. Everything would have turned back into church’s tyrannical regime until some other city would have been full with conflicts and maybe then something might have changed

Like. Is it horrible that so many people died? Yes. But the whole game very explicitly shows you that people are trying to make change peacefully. Anders has been trying for years. What he did was out of desperation — he knew it was wrong, he’s a healer, he doesnt want to kill. But otherwise the city would have been buried and started anew and nothing would have changed. Repeatedly we are being shown mages being abducted, killed, raped, denied freedom. We see them turn to blood magic because selling your soul to the devil is better than living your whole life as a slave or a fugitive just because you were born with funky powers. So mamy tragedies, meanwhile templars are getting paid for guarding the slaves in the name of the church. Its not even a question who’s the victim here, and unfortunately if not for Anders nothing would have changed. Its bloody but now its an issue no one can ignore and sweep under the rug

OHHH ohhh my god this fucking game i love it so much i need it carnally

[tea-and-secrets]

The single piece of writing that had the most effect on me was a fic I read on I think AO3 like five years ago. At the time I was looking for a particular type of smut, namely F/F heavy domination with emotional breaking. What can I say, I have my kinks.

Anyway, this fic started out pretty par for the course. (I'll do my best to recall story specifics, but no guarantees about accuracy). The leader of a group (I think a mafia?) captured an operative of a rival group and wanted to break her into a "pet", and the prisoner isn't really down for it. So far, so normal. The captor tries to break the prisoner in increasingly violent ways, and the prisoner is not budging. This isn't unusual, it could just be a really slow burn, so I keep reading, waiting for my smut.

The prisoner, out of pure spite, is refusing to speak, eat, or drink, even when beaten. This is getting grittier than I really wanted. The prisoner ends up almost dying of dehydration and is put on an IV drip. She tears it out repeatedly. The captor is now frantically trying to keep this person alive (she was a valuable pawn) but the prisoner is not cooperating. Eventually she manages to take things into her own hands, and dies with a smile on her face.

Now, I was kind of horrified. It should be noted that this was not tagged in a way as to suggest what kind of story it was. If anything, it seemed deliberately set up in a way to lure people like me in. And it was good. The writer had a really fantastic grasp of language. That probably made it so much worse- it totally pulled me in. By the end I wasn't even expecting anything fun, I just couldn't look away.

So after that I closed my browser and didn't read any fics for a good long while. I looked for it some years later and couldn't find it, but damn it has stuck with me. Not in a good way either. Something about the way it knew what I was looking for and lead me along, before kicking my teeth in and asking "Is this what you like?". Fuck man. I can almost respect it.

.

[calronhunt]

didnt want to be extra annoying and ask this on your art blog so ill settle for just being annoying.. was anything in wac inspired by the life series? like designs or well, anything! discovered ur stuff on youtube and went ooooh and then snooped through all the art i could find and was repeatedly reminded of the sillies that occupy my brain. sorry 2 be weird! ik its the worst question to be asked sorry but its hurting my brain wondering and not knowing

Aw shit ya caught me. I was gonna reveal this fact much later down the line bc ive been kinda open that WAC started out as an AU just not for what. Primarily the reason for secrecy is bc i don't want people to look at this story i put a lot of myself and my experience into and go "I can't believe you tricked me into reading about minecraft men" bc the story has expanded a lot past these intial inspirations.

So before i go into all the inspirations, I wanna make this perfectly clear. WAC's plot is almost completely original, baring some small scenes inspired by events in the Life series and the basic set up. It's a three act story that is mostly about me and my partners problems regarding abuse and personhood. The Life Series au was a starting point and it kinda spiraled out from that lollll.

(Also I saw your other ask and it doesn't bother me at all! Its been something ive wanted to talk about anyway simply bc i find the inspirations funny. Plus I promised myself if someone realized and asked I would talk about it. Also i just love talking about inspiration and seeing how you got from one thing to the next, maybe others would like the same.)

1. "Why are they cats?" This started as an au once again but i felt too embarrassed talking about it publicly as a mcyt au so I gave them cat designs. That's the only reason lol

Lain - Inspired primarily by 3rd life and lim life martyn in regards to both his devotion to the king (ren) and mariner (scott). Lain and Mariner originally started as Majorwood shipping cats but then became more about their unhealthy power dynamics and two people being stuck together it spiraled into what we have now! Especially since I believe Martyn killed Jimmy (Canary) in 3rd life? Or at least scott accuses him as such so that's where that came from.

Mariner - 3rd/lim life scott! His obsession with the sea, his name, his relationship to Canary, his ties to Lain, and his design is pulled from scott. That's about all that's similar now though. His personality is completely different. Hes a shitty fuckinh dude.

Canary - 3rd life Jimmy Solidarity but like fucking barely and just bc hes married to mariner (flower husbands). Took his name from the fandom calling him a canary because he always dies first and that's basically it. Also worked with the bird name theme i was starting to go with

The King - 3rd life ren but again fucking BARELY except for his relationship with Lain and being a king and trying to conquer shit. That's like. It.

Condor - he's just mr good times with scar. Hes like, the closest to his mcyt counterpart probably and im not even sorry. Took primarily from 3rd life and lim life once again though in regards to his relationship with Crane (Cleo), Warbler (bdubs), and Scout (Etho) (and also the fact the group is called the flock is a cheeky callback to the family being called the clockers)

Crane - stated above, Cleo, but only bc shes mom in the clockers family. Nothing else.

Warbler - limlife bdubs but again fucking BARELY. I think the bdubs skin is the most i drew on for her design with the fucked up eye and teeth.

Grouse - mr 3rd life grian. Dating condor because desert duo and feeling indebted to him for that as well. And just. Generally little guy vibes.

Scout - etho. Just for chill vibes. Dating Crabe because hes "dad" in lim life and dating Wolf (Joel) bc of double life halfslab.

Wolf - Primarily last life joel with the living alone in the woods thing and joel just being a like. Maniac in the life series with the murders and such. Dating scout again bc of double life. The her having canary's skull thing is just for my friend who is a big fucked up smallidarity shipper.

Sycamore, coal, and aster are original characters i made specifically for the story.

I would again like to state that the story is BARELY tied to things that happen in the life series, and its mostly my personal experiences and silly thoughts. The silly minecraft men were just the jumping off point and all of their arcs are original so there ya go <3

[spidermanifested]

bido thought of the morning: i feel like in characterizing bido (on the rare occasion that they deign to do so at all) ive seen people often falling really hard into either "poor sweet anxious crybaby" or (somewhat less often) "mischievous prankster gremlin". and it gets me so bad (negative) to see either of them because i just KNOW that the first comes from brotherhood removing his entire intro and leaving his death as the most memorable part of his character, and the second from 03 making him into a cackling comic relief background guy in 90% of the limited scenes hes in

and sure i can see how someone would come away from either of those ignoring the elements that dont fit into their general takeaway of his character. even though in brotherhood hes still introduced competently gathering information and trying to use als hostage status to get his secret out of ed, and every appearance after that is under the very specific circumstances "all his loved ones died in front of him like 3 months ago." and then in 03 he only acts smug and cackly towards the elrics, which i think is shaky grounds to assume is his personality towards everyone because a) his job at the time was to bug them until they gave up the info greed wanted, and then b) ed kicked him in the face. with the metal leg #justicefor03bido

but. But. both of these flanderizations of him ignore maybe the single most defining trait of his personality in the manga. which is how mad he gets when something is unfair:

(last one from The Detested Scanlation because from what i can tell its more accurate to the original line than the official. equivalent.... e..exchange....... (its not .))

like it happens repeatedly and i never see anyone portraying this sense of righteousness. he sticks up for himself and his friends!! hes not a coward or a pushover he just happens to constantly be put in the actual worst possible situations on earth, and he doesnt just cry about it, he gets MAD. i really like the scene in brotherhood they added where they show his face as he decides to follow the soldiers to central because i feel like it really captures his anger and grief, just like i like the scene in 03 where he expresses worry for greed (though that was also taken loosely from the manga). whoever decided to add those was looking at him like a character instead of a 1 dimensional plot device

anyway. my kingdom for a fully realized bido portrayal. where he can be catty and smug, And righteously angry, And caring and fretful, And prone to crying, And bravest when someone he loves needs him, And jumpy and easily startled, And fucking good at his job, And gay. as well.

[ozlices]

my mom has repeatedly dismissed the idea that she has favorites between us, and yet earlier this year she literally admitted to my face that she's prioritized my abuser over me bc she's 'going through worse stuff'.

and constantly. fucking CONSTANTLY i have to hear abt my abuser, how much she's 'changed' and 'loves me' and 'wants a relationship with me' etc etc etc

and the most draining part of all of this is that i busted my ass for multiple fucking years to finally break the shackles off and get the fuck out of here, only for a selfish, heartless, absolutely piece of utter and complete shit to damn me back here.

and now, im stuck in this cycle again. where spending EIGHT HOURS on the phone trying to get my phone shit settled, and being at my absolute fucking limit bc on top of dealing w that crap, i had to listen to my abuser and her kids screaming at the top of their goddamn lungs for the past two days, and snapping to shut the fuck up,, gets me dealing w my mother holding a grudge w me.

bc 'oh let me have kids and then maybe ill understand' IT'S LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME SHE'S OVER HERE. AND SHE WAS LIKE THIS BEFORE SHE FUCKING HAD KIDS. THE BRUNT OF MY ABUSER WAS LITERALLY BEING SCREAMED AT AND BERATED BY HER OVER STUPID SHIT.

/IM/ THE ASSHOLE FOR BEING INSISTENT THAT SHE HASNT CHANGED ?!?!? WHEN SHE LITERALLY HASNT FUCKING CHANGED!!!?!?!?!? SHE'S /WORSE/ NOW /BECAUSE/ SHE STILL HAD KIDS ANYWAY WHEN LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN HER LIFE WARNED HER NOT TO BC WE ALL KNEW SHE'D BE A SHITTY PARENT. AND WOW, HUGE SHOCKER, SHE IS!!!

i made the decision when i was VERY young, but also old enough to realize just how deep rooted my trauma runs & how much it affects my responses to stress & other shit, to not have human children bc i fucking KNEW. no matter how much i try to be a nice person, no matter how good my intentions try to be, i can be very nasty. i can be harsh. i can be snappy. i can be violent. i can be completely apathetic to how my actions affect other people when i'm angry enough.

i ACKNOWLEDGE that shit. i will be the first to admit when i probably went overboard, but i am so fucking sick of being put in a position where if i dont apologize for being fucking straight up verbally, emotionally, mentally, or even physically abused, & responding to that abuse like any fucking body would, ESPECIALLY a person who has existing trauma, im an asshole.

im so. fucking sick. of being alive. this year has broken me. it really, truly fucking has. i lost EVERYTHING. i dont even have a fucking doctor. i am back in the house all my trauma happened in, damned by someone i thought was my best friend who looked me dead in my eyes a month after my daughter died in my arms & told me damning me back to the house every traumatic thing ive ever gone to 'wasnt her problem'. & having to be put right back in the cycles i brutalized myself to get out of.

and the worst fucking part is that this year has left me in such shambles from stress, i physically cannot pick myself up anymore. my alters can't pick themselves up anymore. we are all so fucking burnt out, and it is so fucking draining to lie to ourselves that hope is worth it when we had it all stripped away from us repeatedly in such brutal ways. nonstop. i swear to the moon herself, i mean it when i say not one single day this entire year has been peaceful. has been free from some degree of pain, or straight up agony.

i am tired of beating myself up for being angry. i am tired of being berated by other people for being angry. FUCK all of that shit. this year, and the shitty people who refuse to fucking offer me the same empathy they DEMAND from me, have fucking destroyed me. and i DESERVE TO BE FUCKING PISSED OVER THAT SO I FUCKING WILL BE IM FUCKING PISSED FUCK THIS YEAR FUCK MY ABUSER FUCK HER GODDAMN DEFENDERS FUCK THE BITCH WHO DAMNED ME HERE FUCK MY ENTIRE LIFE IT'S NEVERENDING BULLSHIT AND IM TIRED OF ACTING LIKE ANYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME WAS OKAY OR THAT I HAVE TO BE OKAY WITH IT!! NONE OF IT WAS OKAY!! IM NOT FUCKING OKAY WITH IT!! NOBODY FUCKING WOULD BE!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[danidoesathing]

hey bestie. wanna trade infodumps again. whats your favorite theory about lord huron, doesnt have to necessarily be the most correct it can also just be the funniest

YES ABSOLUTELY

ive talked about the lonesome dreams time loop theory already so. in honor of it being vide noir day ive got. a theory

i think Buck did actually die from getting blackbrained. he injested a lot of vide noir and like. it probably should've killed him. it probably did him, but god knows the dead dont tend to stay in this universe, so it aint out of the question that the lyrics in back from the edge were more. literal than we thought. i have no idea if this makes him one of the undead or inhuman or if he's just got some insane cosmic luck but he was dead for a couple of minutes at least.

and you know. thanks to dying on vide noir, you know, a drug that notoriously break space and time, it had. repercussions. that echoed out in all directions. jumps in space time entirely unrelated to him but still places and moments that actually occurred (ie the whole frozen pines moment). awareness of certain things he probably shouldn't be aware of (how the fuck does he know about the balancer's eye hello. how and when the fuck does he find out that exists). general sensitivity/draw towards the supernatural (found three separate supernatural beings in one night by complete accident. sure)

and like. the whole "being able to see ghosts thing" might come from the fact he died and came back thanks to the fucked up space goo. he doesn't really seem. bothered by the fact that he's talking to dead people so i assume he's been doing this a while. then theres his fucked up relationship with death in general. his indifference towards life. consistently using death as a metaphor and having repeatedly writing stories/songs where he dies. and he's just got weird perspectives on life and death in general. soooo

i have no proof and no real reason to believe this. its more likely his cosmic bullshit luck saved his ass and he lived through the overdose but you know. you asked for my stupid theories you get them. you can't prove me wrong either way