#wait maybe i should put some warnings on this bitch uhhh hold on

[cashmere-caveman]

Hanif Abdurraqib, it’s not like nikola tesla knew all of those people were going to die | Anne Carson, H of H Playbook | Richard Siken, Snow and Dirty Rain | Franz Wright, Heaven | Toby Whithouse, shooting script for Being Human S1E1 | Franz Wright, Heaven | Erin Slaughter, I Hope My Salt Lamp is a Weeping Deity | Richard Siken, Straw House, Straw Dog & My Country: The New Age, Episode 16

image descriptions in alt

[xoxo-teddybear]

Chaotic Family Tingz - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader ft. Older brother L/N Ryu and Younger brother L/N Itazura

Warnings: Cursing, Crack, Fluff, Tatted Bakugou bc ✨SPICE✨

Summary: You have a very….special family. You were nervous to not only bring your Tatted, motorcycle riding boyfriend to your home but also to show your very loving boyfriend your insane family. Unfortunately, the truth cannot be hidden for long. Unfortunately for your boyfriend, Bakugou, he learned the truth in a very L/N family way.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

A/N: Heavily inspired by Good Luck Charlie. ALSO, I wrote this more based around Y/N and her life but Katsuki plays part in it. I still think it’s good bc imagine Bakugou being in this situation 😆🤣

You and Bakugou Katsuki have been dating for a year. You fell in love with the Bakugou Katsuki.

He who had a sleeve full of tattoos, who wore black combat boots and chains, who rode slick black motorcycles yet was a total softie when it came to you

Even though you had been dating for over a year, you didn’t bring him home for multiple reasons

1. You wanted to be sure he was the one before he met your crazy family, 2. You didn’t want him to meet your crazy family

Notice how we keep saying crazy?

Eventually, Bakugou got tired of waiting. He wanted you to be comfortable but he also wanted to know you loved him enough to think he was the guy you would want to bring home to meet your family

Meeting the parents and meeting the family is a big step and shows that you really want him as part of your life. It would mean a whole lot to him

And when he requested to meet your family and you shut it down again, he began to question you

“Do you not want me to meet them because…of me? Do you not want them to meet me?”

You looked at your boyfriend with a sad look as he stared at you like a kicked puppy

“Baby, no. Of course I want my family to meet you.”

“Then why haven’t they?”

“….Because I don’t want you to meet them.”

“What?”

“Suki! They’re insane! I’m just- *sigh.* What if their craziness drives you away from me?”

Bakugou laughed at you in disbelief. Leave you? Like hell he would. Bakugou’s done a whole lot in his life and you are the one thing he got right.

“Yeah no. Sorry princess but you’re stuck with me for life. I’m not going anywhere.” When he said that, he kissed your knuckles before leaving a kiss on your lips which convinced you to let him meet your insane family

He celebrated right in front of you

Anyway, what you need to know is that you’re family is….crazy crazy. Crazy as in things are never boring in your house because things are always happening

(Mind you, the actions below happened before you said yes to letting Katsuki meet your family)

Now back to what we were saying

Bad things happen a lot. Things like your little 11 year old brother, Itazura, always getting into trouble at school. In fact, this time he got into so much trouble that his teacher called for a parent teacher meeting

Not wanting to get in trouble at home, Itazura had you and your brother pretend to be his parents and go to the meeting

Now you said no in the beginning, but he blackmailed you by threatening to tell your parents you broke their priceless-antique wedding china and so you had to give in

It didn’t take much convincing for your older brother, Ryu, to join in on Itazura’s plan. Ryu was a very….simple person.

“You’re just gonna give in like that?” You asked him

“I mean, in the end it just saves time.” He said, referring to how Itazura will always find a way to get what he wants

“Yeah, that’s fair.”

And so, you and Ryu posed as Itazura’s parents. You dressed in your mom’s work clothes while Ryu dressed in a suit and put on a fake mustache for gags

You both presented yourselves along with Itazura to his teacher, who can barely see straight, and the plan went on perfectly. You guys got away with it!

That was until Itazura’s teacher, who was named Mrs. Iko, saw you at the movies on a date with Katsuki

And this is where it all goes down. Take a seat my bitches, and bros, and non-binary hoes cuz shits about to get real

(Shoutout to you if you get the reference ;)

—

*Ding Dong*

Your brother was sitting on the couch with his boyfriend when all of a sudden the doorbell rang, catching Ryu’s attention.

Opening the door, Ryu was met with the sight of Mrs. Iko. She took notice of his younger clothes, appearance, and mustache-less face. “Mrs. Iko? What’re you doing here?”

“Mr. L/N!” Mrs. Iko said with a shocked face and hand over her mouth. “You look so much younger! And your mustache has disappeared!”

Ryu grew visibly nervous at her words and gulped before letting out a shaky laugh. “O-Oh! Right! Yes, Uh- yes I’ve always been known for my Uh- youthful looks! And I just recently shaved- wanted a new look, you know?”

“Oh, well that doesn’t matter. I’m afraid I have some awful news.” Mrs. Iko said with a worried face as Ryu listened. “It’s about your wife.”

At that, Ryu’s longtime boyfriend, Daisuke, stood and walked towards the two. “Your wife? You have a wife?”

“No.” Ryu said.

“You don’t?” Mrs. Iko asked.

“Of course I do!” Ryu said, turning to her. Mrs. Iko looked around as if everyone in the house was crazy (they were) before speaking.

“Who are you?” She asked Daisuke.

“I’m his boyfriend.” He said. At that moment, you walked into the house holding Katsuki’s hand, ready to introduce him to your family, totally unprepared for what was about to go down.

“Hey guys! We’re back from the- GAH!” You said, yelping once you saw Mrs. Iko in the house. Mrs. Iko looked at you and Katsuki in shock as she pointed to you both.

“And here she is with her boyfriend!” Mrs. Iko exclaimed. Ryu felt pressured to play along and tried to save Itazura’s secret by keeping the husband act going.

“You’re cheating on me?!” Ryu said to you. “You’re a married woman!”

“You’re married?!” Bakugou asked you with an angry and hurt voice.

“No! No, no, no, no.” You said with a nervous laugh, trying to reassure him.

“You’re not?” Mrs. Iko asked.

“Of course I am!” You said, snapping your head to her. At that moment, Itazura walked in from the kitchen, but once he saw Mrs. Iko, he quickly turned back to go to the kitchen once more with a shocked expression.

“Geeeh!” He exclaimed before turning around, unfortunately caught by you.

“Uh- ITAZURA!” You shouted from the door as Bakugou held you close by the waist as a way of claiming his territory just in case things were in trouble for the two of you. Don’t worry, they weren’t. He believed you when you said you weren’t married but he’s starting to notice the weird shit that goes down in this house.

Itazura then came back, slowly poking his head in from behind the door as he stepped out. “Yes, Mother?”

Hearing you referred to that, Bakugou’s eyes popped before looking down at you. “Okay! I’m starting to see why you didn’t want me to meet your family.”

You nodded your head in a very ‘yeah…sadly,’ type of way.

“Uh- Itazura,” you said, walking towards your little brother. “Mrs. Iko has found out that your father and I are having problems.” You said in a ‘help us out of this you evil mastermind,’ type of way.

“Uhhh..and does she know that you guys are the reason I misbehave?” Itazura said, loud enough for Mrs. Iko to hear, hoping she would.

“Oh, I do now!” Mrs. Iko said sympathetically. Itazura came in like the evil mastermind he is and pulled out his fake tears.

“Well, maybe some good can come from all this pain,” he said with his fake tears and pouty lip towards his teacher. You faked a laugh before whispering to your younger brother.

“Hehehe…dial it down.” You said to him before turning to his teacher. “Um, Mrs. Iko, if you’ll excuse us, this family has some healing to do.”

“Which! I would like to do with just my parents and their apparent significant others,” Itazura said pointing to Daisuke and Katsuki.

“Welp! You should be on your way! Stay warm now!” Ryu said, beginning to escort Mrs. Iko out the front door by her shoulders. “Don’t wanna freeze off your toes!”

Unfortunately, right before the two reached the door, your actual parents came in. At the sight of them, you and your siblings flinched, sighed, and groaned before facing them. Luckily, Itazura came in once again to try and save the day in his lying ways.

“Grandma! Grandpa!” Itazura said going in to hug his actual parents to play his part. Your parents looked down to your brother in confusion and suspicion, well aware that your brother can get into some mischievous trouble.

“What’s going on?!” Your mom said, shaking off your brother’s hug.

“I’m Itazura’s teacher, I came to talk to his parents.” Mrs. Iko said introducing herself and gesturing to you and Ryu, to which the two of you scrunched your faces at being caught.

“We’re his parents.” Your dad said, gesturing to your mom and him. Mrs. Iko grew a face of utter shock before Itazura opened his mouth again.

“Hahaha, that’s right grandpa! You’re my dad!” Itazura said before whispering to Mrs. Iko. “He thinks he’s the president too.”

Your mom looked unimpressed at your brother’s lie until she caught sight of Bakugou in his white v-neck tee, and his big beefy arms covered in tattoos, holding his green bomber jacket, wearing his black ripped jeans and black combat boots. “Who are you?”

“Hey, I’m Bakugou Katsuki.” Your boyfriend said, waving with his gentler voice. Your dad looked outside and pointed to the foreign vehicle in their driveway before turning to Katsuki.

“Is that your motorcycle?” Your dad asked, making you nervous before you jumped to stand next to Katsuki to defend him.

“Um, yeah, about that-“

“I love motorcycles!” Your dad exclaimed with a smile.

“We’re dating!” You proudly said with a bright grin as you wrapped your arms around Katsuki’s as he looked down to you with a loving smile, loving when he heard you say those words to other people.

“Will you stop throwing that in my face?!” Ryu said, still playing his act.

“We’re not doing that anymore.” You blankly said to him with a dead stare.

“Great! Because I was getting a bit confused,” Ryu said and wrapped his arm around Daisuke’s waist.

And on that night, Mrs. Iko left, just as confused as Ryu.

—

“Alright,” your mom began, beginning to speak to you, your siblings, Daisuke, and Katsuki. “You, you, you, you, and you, sit. Now.”

“Uh, sorry,” your boyfriend said, “but I’m not your child. I don’t think you can tell me what to-“

“Did. I. Stutter?” Your mother asked with her devil eyes. Your gentler father stood behind her with a pleading look to your boyfriend to try and convince him to save himself. Katsuki felt his heart shake in fear at your mother’s tone and he opened his mouth to speak before closing it and taking a seat next to you on the couch.

“Mama Bear?” He asked you, referring to your mother.

“Mama Bear.” You confirmed. Bakugou nodded his head before relaxing into the couch.

“Okay. Now somebody tell me what’s going on.” Your mom demanded. You and Ryu remained quiet while your boyfriends sat in confusion. You all looked to Itazura who sighed before giving in.

“Okay, fine. I was getting in trouble at school and it got to the point where I had to have a parent teacher meeting. I didn’t want to get in trouble at home so I blackmailed Y/N and Ryu into being my parents so I could get away with it.” Itazura then explained.

“I guess somewhere along the line, Mrs. Iko caught me and Katsuki together so I guess she came here to tell Ryu, who she thought was my husband, that I was having an affair.” You then explained. Ryu was just sitting on the couch with his arm still around Daisuke before he raised his hand.

Your mother sighed at her oldest child being so..childish. “Yes, Ryu?”

“Uh- no I was just wondering if I could put on the fake mustache again.” He stupidly said with a genuine heart. You and your younger brother sighed in disappointment at his idiocy before turning to your parents.

“So? Are you going to punish us?” You asked your mom. She smiled at you sweetly before taking a seat in front of you on the coffee table.

“Oh, sweetie…..of course we’re going to punish you.” She said while placing a hand on your knee. She then stood to hand out her dealings. “Itazura, no video games, no sleepovers, no tv. Ryu, Y/N - no phones, no tv, no going anywhere after school. All of you, grounded. 2 weeks. We’re letting you keep your laptops for school work so if you need to communicate, use those. Am I clear?”

You and your siblings all nodded before your mother sighed and addressed the last thing. “Now finally, what did you say your name was, sweetie?”

“Oh! Uh, Bakugou Katsuki.” Your boyfriend said. Your mother smiled at him kindly before dropping that smile and giving him a look.

“Age?”

“18.”

“Grades?”

“Straight A’s.”

“School?”

“U.A.”

“Tattoos and Piercings. Why?”

“Most of them are to honor the people in my life.”

“Motorcycle. Why?”

“It was a gift I decided to not let go to waste.”

“Are you an asshole?”

“Only to idiots.”

“Why my daughter?”

“Because when she smiles everything in the world instantly makes sense to me.”

His last answer made you smile at him in awe as you scooted in closer. It also made your parents smile before your mom reached over to place a hand on his arm. “Welcome to the family, Bakugou.”

—

“So that’s your family, huh?” Bakugou asked as you both sat in your backyard on the hammock looking at the starry sky.

“Heh, yeah. A bunch of clowns.” You said, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm held you close.

“I don’t think so. They seem fun.” Bakugou said, trying to uplift your spirits.

“Fun. Crazy. Same shit I guess.” You said causing you both to laugh. Katsuki sighed in gratitude at finally getting to meet your family and allowed his head to drop on your own. “Umm..you’re not gonna leave me though..right?”

“Never.” He said with a small laugh and kiss to the crown of your head. “Like I said, you’re stuck with me. Besides. I now know if I’m ever bored, your family will always be around. S’like free entertainment.” He said making you giggle. “Plus, Itazura doesn’t seem so bad. I don’t know, might wanna pull a few pranks on him just to teach him a lesson.”

“Aww, baby.” You said kissing his cheek. “No you don’t, it’ll backfire on you and he’ll set your ass on fire. Doesn’t matter if you’re 5 years older than him.”

Bakugou widened his eyes in offense before chuckling and cuddling in closer as you both swung on the hammock. That was when you raised your head to look at him. “So…when can I meet your parents?”

Bakugou’s eyes once again popped as he thought about his timid father who was a doormat to his demonic mother. “Uh…I don’t know..They’re kinda…insane.”

Here we go again.

Taglist: @sxcker4you @aomi04 @tessabrown101 @ebiharachan @is-this-ash @iris-shihabi @sxturn-stars @isolight @lanantoine @whatdidshesayyy @qtsuki @lazyafgurl @dessykcm @misssugarless @unicornlover25 @sweethcnvy @hanamura-manami @thisuserlovesyouandyouandyou @ssurewhynottt

[spideymarvelws]

Hi uh idk if like requests are open but if they are could you possibly do nihachu x fem reader where they’re both streamers and accidentally reveal something on stream (like one calls the other babe or something like that) and lots of teasing from the other smp members ensues? Only if you’re like comfortable :)

I tried lmaoo i’m not the best at writing for real people over fictional ones but i really liked the request so i did my best!

Main Masterlist / Add Yourself To My Taglists

Warnings : nothing but floof :), some cursing

Word Count : 1.1k

Slip Ups

Nihachu x Fem!Reader

Niki walked up behind you, wrapping her arms around your waist and burying her face in the crook of your neck. Instinctively, you put your hands on hers, leaning back into her embrace. You were busy making sure your stream setup was perfect for later and after an hour of testing and moving equipment, you were glad to be back in her arms.

“Ready for tonight?” she said sweetly into your ear, pulling away so you could turn and face her.

“More than ready,” you smiled, kissing the tip of her nose, “I just hope the audio is going to be okay,”

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” 

“Let’s hope so.”

With a light giggle, Niki stepped away, moving to the small desk you kept by the door and grabbed two mugs. 

“Thought we could just relax a bit before stream,” she shrugged, handing you your mug and taking a seat on the sofa towards the left of the room.

You sighed, walking over and taking a seat beside her. You let her lean into you, throwing your arm around her shoulder, squeezing her close. You put your head on hers, taking a sip of the tea she made for you.

“Yeah, we could stay like this for a bit babe,”

She giggled in response, turning to peck the side of your cheek, “Babe? That’s a new one,”

“Just trying out new things,” you bit your lip, trying to suppress the heat rising to your face.

She thought for a bit, letting the silence linger for a moment as she took a sip of her own tea, “I like it.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes really,”

You kissed the side of her forehead, pressing your lips firmly against her pink hair, making her face scrunch up cutely.

“Then I better start using it often then.”

…

You yawned, adjusting the headphones on your head after stretching in your chair. You leaned in once again, speaking into the mic.

“Okay, maybe we should’ve used dark oak…”

“Well no shit Y/n,” Wilbur scoffed, jumping down from the structure you were building and punching your character.

You crouched, tilting your head to the floor, “Well sorry for having faith in jungle.”

“That was your first mistake.” Tubbo butting in, hitting your character as well but with an iron axe.

You grunted, switching to your netherite sword and chasing the boy down prime path.

“YOU TAKE THAT BACK BEE BOY!”

“NEVER!”

Everyone else started to laugh in the call at your antics, the chat was enjoying it as well. Soon enough Tommy jumped in, chasing Tubbo along with you causing him to scream even louder.

“What the hell Tommy! You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“I’m always on a woman’s side Tubbo! Now get back here you son of a bitch and die for your crimes or I swear-”

“What do you mean crimes! What did I do!”

“You hit a woman Tubbo! Now you must lose a cannon life...”

“Since when was that a crime!”

“Since now big man! Since now!”

You noticed Niki’s character coming up in the distance. With a worn out sigh, you stopped sprinting and walked to where your girlfriend stood continuing to build her house.

“For the record, I think it looks great,” Niki said, giggling as you sneaked towards her.

You stopped in front of her, watching as the two boys kept on bickering and fighting. Passing a hand over your face you spoke tenderly, “Thanks babe.”

The call suddenly went quiet after your words. You chuckled nervously, looking around at everyone that started to surround you and Niki, all of them staring you down. In the other room, Niki was blushing. Looking at the chat in her second monitor, they began freaking out about your slip up and her reaction, making the red deepen on her cheeks even more.

“Uhhh-” you moved your arm, gesturing to the new audience, “Everyone alright?”

“What did you call Niki?” Sam asked, knowing fully well the answer.

You froze, eyes widening as you slammed your head on the desk, letting the mic pic up the loud bang. The laughs only amplified at your reaction so you decided to slide off your chair and hide under your desk, slapping your face into your hands to hide your flustered state.

“Aww, she’s embarrassed!” Wilbur snickered.

“Does this mean you both commit marriage fraud together?” Tommy cut in, laughing into his mic, “Because now i’m questioning this friendship Y/n… I can’t go to jail again.”

“Jail?! Again?” Sam exclaimed but was quickly interrupted by Tubbo

“Awwww, I think it’s sweet! Like honey from beeeeees,”

Niki laughed at everyone’s teasing, growing concerned that she wasn’t hearing your own giggles along with her. She looked at her chat again, all of them spamming to go check on you or asking if you were okay because your stream suddenly ended.

“Hold on guys, I’ll be right back,”

“Yeah, you should go check on lover girl, see if she’s doing alright,” Wilbur snickered.

“I will.” she said confidently, deafening herself on discord, switching to her waiting screen and playing ads, telling chat that she would be right back.

She walked into your room, cooing when she saw you under your desk. She walked up and kneeled beside you, gently placing her hands on yours and peeling them off your face.

“Baby?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that- fuck, I just messed everything up didn’t I?”

“No, no, no, Y/n. You didn’t ruin anything!” She reassured you, squeezing your hands in hers, “I mean... we were going to let them know eventually, now you get to say it all the time!”

“Yeah, let twitter freak out for a bit… oh god they’re going to have a field day!”

“We’ll be fine Y/n, trust me,” she passed her hand down the side of your face, letting you nuzzle your nose into her palm, “there going to love us together just as much as I love you,”

You sniffed, “That’s a lot of love,”

“Yes, yes it is,”

You smiled softly up at her, “I bet I love you more though,”

She blushed at your words, “Oh really?”

“Yes, really.”

“I don’t think that’s true,”

“Well I think it is,”

“Prove it then.”

She leaned in, brushing her lips against yours, letting you close the small gap she created. The kiss was soft and tender, your lips slowly moving against one another. It wasn't long for the smile growing on your face to break the both of your apart, grinning at each other like it was your first kiss all over again.

“Ready to get back to it?” she questioned, carefully pulling you out from under the table.

You thought about it for a moment.

“Sure babe,” you pecked her forehead, “I’m going to love getting use to that.”

...

Permanent Taglist (Dream SMP) : @ossinsworld @lunarinnit @chaosofsmarty @starstruckllamapuppy @shio-yuki @lovelychasbug @alice-blue-skies

Nihachu Taglist : @whenpugzfly

[triplexdoublex]

Alpha Omega

Pairings: Colson x Reader

Warnings/Tags: alcohol, drunk, attempted rape (colson saves you before ANYTHING happens), potentially triggering dialogue about it the next morning, strangers to friends to lovers, smut, squirting 💦

A/N: Inspired by a weird dream I had and a real tweet I read, the person Jake in the fic was actually Jake Paul in my dream (ew). If you think the beginning backstory may trigger you and just want to read their friendship turn to lovers/smut, then scroll to the 2ND time skip marked with stars (***)

College mid-terms were finally over, which meant the same thing every year: the Alpha Omega annual fraternity party! It was the biggest party on campus every year, and even though it’s not really your scene, you decided to attend this year. Maybe it was the stress of mid-terms weighing extra heavy on your mind, but you needed an escape. But now, five full drinks and some shots later, you find yourself stumbling around the drink and keg area in the kitchen with a half-empty red solo cup, wondering how the hell you're supposed to find your way back to your dorm to sleep off what was obviously a very poor decision.

“Hey pretty thing,” you hear, suddenly feeling an arm slink around your waist.

“Do I know you?” you ask, disoriented and confused as your eyes try to focus on the face of the person touching you.

“The name’s Jake,” he shouts over the music, guiding you out of the kitchen and into the main party room. “You should come back to my room, you look like you need to lay down,” he says with ill-intent, but you’re too intoxicated to argue, letting him lead you up the stairs.

Even though most of your senses are impaired right now, you can’t mistake the distinct, pungent smell of weed wafting towards you as Jake escorts you down the hall once the two of you reach the top of the stairs.

“Yo, Jake!” a voice shouts from an open door, smoke billowing out as you pass.

“Hey Cols, what’s up?”

“Nothing much, man,” he says, blowing a smoke ring as he passes the blunt to his roommate Pete. “Wanna hit?”

“Maybe later, gotta get this pretty little thing back to room,” Jake answers.

“Aye, she alright? Colson questions, quickly rising to his feet.

“Yeah, pal she don’t look too good,” Pete coughs.

“Nah, man, that’s fucked up. She’s gooone!” Colson says getting a closer look at you. ‘You can’t talk her back to your room like this. That’s just wrong.”

“The fuck I can!” Jake retorts. “Look,” he says turning to you and lifting your slumped head. “You wanna go to my room with me don’t you, sexy?”

“N-nno” You slur, drunkenly shaking your head ‘Yes’

“See, she shook her ‘yes’,” Jake argues.

“Yeah, and her mouth said fuckin’ NO, Dawg!” Colson snaps back.

“Listen, I’m taking her to my room and there ain’t shit you can do about it!”

“The fuck there is!” Colson swings, his closed fist making contact with the side of Jake’s face, knocking him out cold.

***************************

The next thing you know you’re opening your eyes; an unfamiliar room and bed coming into view. You slowly sit up holding your throbbing head

“Hey, you’re awake,” says a soft voice to your right. Quickly, you turn your head in a panic to see a tall blonde sitting on the edge of the bed.

“W-who are you? Where.. Where am I?” you ask on the verge of tears.

“My name's Colson,” he reaches out for your hand. “I —”

“Don’t touch me!” You yell, scooting backwards pulling  the covers up over you when you realize all you’re wearing is a thin, white, mens t-shirt. “Where are my clothes?”

“Aye, yo, it’s not like that. Relax, listen,” he stands with his hands up backing away from you. ��I slept on the couch, I just wanted —”

“Where are my clothes!?” you demand.

“You threw up on them,” he answers.

“So lemme get this right … I threw up and you took off my clo —”

“NO! No! God no!” he says waving his arms. “My roommate Pete —”

“So your roommate Pete took off my clothes…?”

“NOOO! Please, just listen. I swear I was just trying to help you and keep you safe.” The desperation in his voice causes you to let down your guard a little. “I was saying, my roommate Pete. His girl. She stayed over last night and I asked her to help get you cleaned up and changed. I saw nothing I swear,” he puts his hands up again.

You sit there in silence, confused, trying to process everything he just said.

“You really don’t remember anything from last night? Do you?” He asks, stepping slowly back towards the bed.”

“No,” you shake your head, disappointed in yourself.

He cautiously begins to sit back down on the edge of the bed then pauses “Can I?” 

You nod ‘yes’ and he takes a seat.

“Yo, you were in really rough shape last night. I’m assuming you had too much to drink?”

“Yeah,” you admit looking ashamed.

“Aye, we’ve all been there. I’m just glad you’re ok,” he smiles. “Me and my homie Pete were just up here smoking when we seen some dude we know trying to take you back to his room. I could tell you were wrecked. Fuck, you where barely conscious. I tried to tell him how wrong that was but he wouldn’t listen so I knocked him the fuck out. I didn’t know where your dorm was or if you came to the party with anyone and I wanted to make sure you had a safe place to sleep it off.”

“ Thank you. I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions,” you apologize.

“Nah I completely understand,” he accepts your apology. ‘That’s why I wanted to be here when you woke up, I figured you might be a little confused.”

“More than a little,” you let out a small laugh.

Colson cracks a smile, then heads to his dresser, pulling out a pair of his athletic shorts. “Here, tell you what,” he says, tossing the shorts on the bed. “ Imma head out there —” he points to the door. Let you get dressed and I’ll drive you back to your dorm. Cool?”

“Cool,” you answer with a thumbs up and a smile as he steps out the room, closing the door behind him.

*******************

“Seriously, thank you so much,” you say when he pulls up to your dorm.”What can I do for you? I feel like I can’t thank you enough.”

“Nothing. Any respectable man would have done the same thing,” he says.”I can only hope that one day if god forbid my daughter even finds herself in that position that someone would do the same for her.”

“Awww, you have a daughter?”

“Yeah,” he smiles like a proud father, lifting his backside from the drivers seat to pull out his wallet. “Her name’s Casie,” he says opening to her picture.  

“She’s beautiful.”

“Thank you,” he says, then tucking his wallet back into his pocket. “She lives with her mom but I still see her all the time.”

“I’m glad. You seem like you’d be a great father.” you smile. “Thanks again,” you add, stepping out of the car.

“Hey, ummm, wait,” he calls out the car window as you walk towards your dorm.

“Yeah?” you turn back to face him.

“Ain’t you in that bitch Mrs. Pearson’s creative writing class with me?”

“Oh yeah,” you thought he looked familiar. “You usually sit up in the back row right?”

“If you mean ‘take a nap in the back row’, then yeah that’s me”, he laughs.

“Well see you bright and early tomorrow then I guess,” you smile.

“Yeah, see ya,” he smiles back before driving off.

**************************************

The two of you became quite close after that. Gradually moving your seats closer and closer to be near each other in class and pairing up for projects together. You even got to meet his daughter Casie briefly once before her mom picked her up from their weekend visit. You spent a lot of your free time together.It was amazing how you could do absolutely nothing when you were together yet there was no awkward silence or moments: much like right now where you're both hanging out in your dorm just laying on your bed scrolling aimlessly through your phones.

“Oh my god why are men so stupid?” You blurt out in laughter, showing him a tweet on your phone. “This dude really had the audacity to make a whole ass thread about how to eat pussy but he obviously has no clue what he’s talking about; girls don’t squirt out of their clits!’ No wonder girls never cum and have to fake it. Ya’ll mother fuckers don’t even know where the clit IS, and I’m pretty sure squirting is just something made up by the porn industry cuz that shit never happens in real life.”

“Aye, nah I hope you aint including me in that, cuz lemme tell you, ya boy knows where the clit is!  My girls always cum,” he smirks. 

“Yeah, okay,” you roll your eyes. “How do you know they’re not faking?”

“Cuz squirting ain’t made up, that shits VERY real! Maybe not every time but it has happened so I know they weren’t faking,” he smiles. “You mean to tell me a guy has never made you cum?

“Uhn uh” you shake your head no.

“And you’ve never squirt... even ..uhh..by yourself...or with whatever toys you chicks use?”

“I mean I’ve cum alone, but never squirt. No,” you admit blushing. You and Colson have never discussed anything sexual with each other before.

“That’s bananas, dawg!” he exclaims, slapping the bed.

The room grows quiet, the silence feeling awkward for the first time in your whole friendship.

“Aye, uh you trust me right?” Colson breaks the silence

“Yeah, of course, with my life!” you exclaim.”Why?”

“Trust me enough to uhmm...show you what I can do?”

“Are--are you saying you wanna — “

“I wanna make you cum,” he blurts out, cutting you off. “If- if you’ll let me that is.”

“I...Uhmm..I..”, you stumble while thinking it over.

“Sorry… uhhh let’s just forget this whole conversation, okay?” he says ashamed, thinking he made you uncomfortable.

“Why not,” you blurt out nonchalantly.

“Wait!, why not, like… like you … you wanna —”

You silently shake your head yes biting your lip.

“Oh shit! For real?” He says in surprise, getting up off the bed. “Uhh, c’mere,” he calls you over to the edge of the bed.

You do as you're told crawling over to the edge, sitting with your legs dangling off the bed. “You know, you don’t gotta go easy with me,” you smirk waiting for him to make his next move.

“Good, I wasn’t planning on it,” he says, immediately flipping you over and yanking your panties off from under your dress.

“Ugh you boys are all the same,” you groan looking back at him assuming he’s just gonna start fucking you from behind. “Haven’t any of you even heard of foreplay?”

“Don’t tell me no one’s ever eaten your pussy from the back before?” he questions, kneeling down behind you. 

With both hands he grabs your ass making it jiggle for him before delving his tongue between your folds, his tongue exploring every crevice. You gasp at the sensation and feel his muffled laugh buzz against your core, intensifying your pleasure. Gripping your ass tighter, he alternates between plunging a firm, pointed tongue in and out of your wet slit and assaulting your clit with a series of rapid fire kitten licks. Your legs weaken with each lash of his tongue, your body slowly collapsing against the bed.

“Keep that ass up, girl,” he pauses briefly to say. You try with all your might but it’s no use; Colson has reduced your legs to a pile of jello. Roughly he tosses you onto your back, spreads your thighs open and gets back to work. Keeping his tongue focused on your clit, he slides two fingers deep inside of you, his lengthy digits perfectly pressing against your G spot. “I can feel this pussy tightening around my fingers, I know you're close, right?” He pauses to ask cockily.

All you can manage is to nod, ‘yes’, your bottom lip clenched tightly between your teeth as you look down locking eyes with colson; the fiery passion in them is a stark contrast to their ice blue hue.

Colson quickens the pace of his fingers, the sloshing of your wetness audible as he brings you closer to the edge. Then resting his free hand on your mound he gently pulls back the hood of your clit with his thumb exposing the most sensitive part sending your body into convulsions when he rapidly flicks his tongue against it.

“Colson, FUCK!!! ” you scream out in pleasure as the most intense orgasm of your life rips through you. “Oh my god... oh my god,” you chant in pleasure and shock as you realize you’re actually squirting. Colson doesn’t miss a beat continuing to work you through your high, relishing in the mess you're making all over his face and fingers. When you finally stop twitching he removes his fingers and sits up with a smug look. He pulls off his shirt, wipes his glistening face with it, then tosses it on the floor and hurriedly starts undoing his belt.

“You didn’t think I was just gonna stop at one, did you?” He says cockily pulling himself from his boxers. “Awhh, fuck yeah, sooo wet and tight,” he groans as he pushes in, then bringing his hand between your two bodies, and begins to rub your clit as he thrusts.

“Mhmmmhhmm,” you moan, the bundle of nerves still sensitive from your prior orgasm.

“Told ya I could make you feel good,” he teases, his breath ghosting over that one reactive spot on your neck just behind your ear, causing you to let out a little squeak. “You like that?” He laughs, nipping at the same spot while his hips roll in like the tide, crashing repeatedly against the shore of your pelvis. He nips and kisses along your jawline making his way to your mouth, harshly tugging your bottom lip with a groan. Your tongue reaches out, searching for him as he pulls back.

“Fucking tease,” you whimper.

“That desperate to taste yourself on me?” He chaffs.

To be honest you’re desperate for everything he’s giving you right now; you’re body has never felt such pleasure. So when he offers his mouth back to you, you happily welcome the tart taste of yourself still present on his ravenous tongue. Your mouths move in a hungry rhythm, following suit with your hips. Your breaths and moans echo each others, increasing in speed and volume as climax nears. He can tell you’re so so close and he knows just how to get you there. He  grabs your legs pulling you flush against him and throws your legs over his shoulder, keeping your thighs pinned to his chest with both arms as continues to pound you.

“Mhmmm… Yeah, Yeah, Fuck me! Fuck me!”  you whine needily clawing at the sheets as you enjoy his cock from a whole new angle, slamming into your g-spot at the perfect tempo. It’s just a few more thrusts until he has you completely undone, cumming for the second time today.

“Jesus Christ, Colson” you moan breathily as you ride it out.

‘Ughggg,” he grunts loudly, quickly pulling  out, your legs falling to hips as he finishes on your stomach. 

“Can’t believe you were out here talkin’ ‘bout men don’t know where the clit is and no man ever made you cum,” he says mockingly after he catches his breath. “Nah, girl, you just been fucking with some losers. Gotta get you a real man like me.” 

“Well looks like I got myself one now,” you smirk. “ because we will definitely be doing that again!”

“Awhhh shiiiit,” he says loudly, his hand covering his smile. “ Got you addicted to this dick already, huh?” He teases.

“Shut up,Colson-,” you laugh, chucking a pillow at him “- and go get me something to clean off my stomach.”

[adezahnae]

My Protector (Part 2)

A/N: Hello everyone and welcome to Part 2 of My Protector. This chapter is a little bit long, I’m sorry😭

Warning: Action, cursing, fighting, shooting, stabbing, killing, hit men, mentions of poison, masturbation, fingering, secrets, toxic gas

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Tagged People: @ahgasearmyfan @whoreforshuaaa

Your POV

We made it to the café where my friend waited. As we rode here, the silence was thick. It was just as thick as the tension between us. I don’t know why I can’t stop thinking of that moment. I would take glances at him every now and then. I took the opportunity to look at his outfit. His pants were black and baggy, his shirt was fitted and his shoes were black and combat boots. All of the leather on his body along with his weapons was an attractive sight I have to say...

He opened the door for me and helped me out. He closed the door behind me and followed behind me. Our car pulled off to park as we walked to the restaurant. “I saw you looking at me.” He said. I cleared my throat. “Really?” I asked a little bit timid. “Like I told you..if you want more... you can just ask..” He said. “I have a husband, you should stop.” I said facing him. He only chuckled and opened the door for me. “Sure you do..” He said. What does that mean?

I spot my friend at a table and I sat down. She smiled at me and gave me a hug. Her smile then dropped when she saw Ten sit down beside me. “Who’s this?” She asked. “This is my bodyguard Ten, Ten this Megan. One of my close friends.” I introduced. She held her hand out. “Hi Ten!” She said. He stared at her hand and slowly looked up at her. He leaned back in the booth. “Hm.” He hummed. She pulled her hand away with an awkward smile. “Sorry, he’s just not used to others.” I said. “It’s okay! Well Ten would you like to eat something? A drink? What would you like-“ “No offense ma’am but I don’t want to talk to you. I’m here to protect Y/n, not to conversate with someone. Especially if that someone is a person I don’t know nor trust.” Ten said bluntly.

I gasped. “Okay Ten, could you go and get me a drink? Please?” I asked. He looked at me and then at Megan. “Sure..” He said, eyeing her. He walked away and went to the bar. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for him to just..” “Y/n it’s alright. He seems like a tough cookie to crack anyways. That’s good.” She said. I smiled. She called a waitress over to order. “Hi! I want an order of red wine and a salad. What would you like, Y/n?” She asked me. “I’ll have the same thing!” I said. “Okay, I’ll get your wine, right away.” The waiter said.

After a bit, our wine came and we clinked our glasses together. Just when I was about to drink it, Ten snatched it out my hand. “What are you doing?” He asked. “About to have drink, why?!” I asked a little furious. He gave me another glass. “This was the one I got you. Drink it.” He said. I was about to take it. “Wait- Y/n you’re really gonna let him tell you what to do?” She asked. “Well maybe it’s for the best, I mean there’s a lot of people around here that’s dangerous and-“ “You think I would order you something dangerous?” She asked.

“N-No! I’m just saying! My wine could have been contaminated with something.” Megan scoffed. “Just drink it! Nothing is wrong with it at all!” She said. I looked at her. “Why do you want me to drink it so bad?” I said. Megan leaned over the table and tried to grab the drink out of my hand. “Just drink the one I ordered for you.” She said. I leaned back. “Megan! What are you doing?!” I asked. She gripped my arm. “Put the damn drink down, Y/n.” She gritted through her teeth.

Ten looked at the drink and seen that had something floating in it. “Poison..” He whispered. Ten noticed her hand gripping your wrist making him go into protect mode. He took the drink in his hand and threw it towards Megan. She screamed out causing a scene. He threw the glass and punched her in her face. “TEN! WHAT THE HELL?!” Y/n yelled. He the spot two men in the corner, ready to pull out their guns.

“Y/n get down.” He said. “No! Why did you-“ “Damn it woman!” Ten pulled Y/n under the table and started to shoot at the two hit men. They both ran to where him and Y/n were. Ten came from underneath the table and dodge the bullet the man shot. He slid under the man’s legs and kicked him in his back. The guy behind aims his gun at Ten. Ten dodges the bullet and took the man behind him by his arm. He cracked it and took his gun from him, shooting him in head. Y/n screamed as the other approached her. Ten ran behind him, putting him in a headlock, kicking the back of his knee so that the man was on the ground and cracked his neck.

Meanwhile, Megan reached for the gun on the floor and shot Ten in his shoulder. “Ten!” Y/n exclaimed. “Bitch!” He yelled. He kicked her in the face, breaking her nose and grabbed her by the shirt. “Where is the woman who gave you the drink?” He gritted. Just as he asked, the girl gasped and ran back into the kitchen. He hit Megan in her head, making her fall unconscious. “Stay right here, I’ll be back.” He said to Y/n. She nod and hid under the table more. He ran back behind the counter jumping over it and finding the woman, trying to load up a gun. He kicked the gun from her hand kicked her on the floor. He aimed the gun at her.

“Who gave you the poison?” He asked. “No one!” She lied. He shot at the floor beside her head making her scream and cry. “I’m gonna ask again, who gave you the poison?” He asked again. She shook her head. He narrowed his eyes and shot her hand. She screamed out. He bent down to her level and gripped her hair, still aiming the gun. “I’d hate for this last bullet to be in your head now tell me who the fuck gave it to you?!” He gripped her hair tighter. “The boss!” She yelled. “Who is that?” He asked. “I can’t say...” She said. He shot her in the head and left her body there.

He came back out the kitchen to see two men aiming at him. He ducked behind the counter and shot from there. He could spot Y/n there, trembling of fear. His mind was only trained on her. He jumped from the counter and landed a kick to the men’s head. They both teamed up to fight him. He took his knife from his pants and stabbed one of the men in the leg while he twisted the other’s man arm. He took out his knife from the man’s leg to stab it in the guy’s chest, then yanking it out. One man down, the other to go.

Y/n watched the scene go down. She watched his moves and the way he moved. The way he fought for her life was somewhat..attractive she thinks? How his face was concentrated on the enemy’s moves and how he would encounter them so fast. She couldn’t lie...the way he shot at people and held a gun was really making her feel things that she shouldn’t.

The guy landed a punch to Ten’s face. He was about to hit him again, but Ten was too fast. He took his other arm and twisted that one as well. He picked up the gun from the floor and shot his neck. The man feel on the floor. Ten approached Y/n, helping her from under the table. She looked at him in astonishment.

“What...was that?” She couldn’t even find the right sentence. “That was me protecting you.” Ten replied. “Thank you..” She said bowing. I came back up and seen the shot wound in his arm. “Oh my god, you’re bleeding!” Y/n exclaimed. “I’m alright, go and get in the car.” Ten said holding his shoulder. Just then, there was smoke coming from vents, spreading quickly. Ten widened his eyes. “Y/n, let’s go!” He said. Y/n then start to cough and become dizzy. “No, No, No...” Ten mumbled.

He picked her up just before she fell and grabbed her things. He ran out the door seeing the car pulled up at the front. He rushed Y/n in before she could die. He closed the door behind him and breathed out. He breathed the clear air. “Y/n.” He called. No response. He turned to her quickly. “Y/n?! Y/n!! Wake up, come on. Y/n?! Drive to her house faster!” Ten yelled. “But, there’s-“ “I don’t give a damn about this car’s supply, she’s needs to be home! NOW!” Ten yelled. The car speed up and ran lights and stop signs.

They finally reached home and everyone in the car helped Y/n out the car. Ten ran into the house and went straight to her bathroom. He found her inhaler and he gave it to her. “Come on..wake up..” He mumbled. He then heard her coughing and breathing. He pulled her up to let her breathe. After she was okay, she fell back asleep. He sighed out in relief as he watched her breathe in her sleep. He got up and took off her shoes and jacket carefully. He placed them down and covered her inside her blankets.

He left the room and he heard her phone ringing in her purse. He picked it up. “Hellwo? Mommy?” He heard on the other side. “Hello?” He responded. “Who are you? Where’s my mommy? I want to talk to mommy.” The little girl said. “M-Mommy’s asleep right now, who are you?” He asked. “Hi, this is Y/n’s mother. Where’s my daughter and who are you?” The woman said. “Well I’m Y/n’s bodyguard and right now Y/n is resting. There was a shoot out at restaurant today that she was involved in and she’s exhausted.” Ten explained.

“Thank you for protecting my daughter, really! Her husband is never around for this stuff.” She exclaimed. “Yeah I see.” Ten said. “I don’t know if you know about kids but I’m dropping off Bailey now and I have to work. I’m sorry if this gives you any trouble.” Her mother explained. “No, it’s completely fine. She’ll be safe with me.” Ten said. “Thank you, so much!” Her mother said. They hung up the call and five minutes later, there was the door opening.

A little girl walked around the corner. “Mommy? Mommyyy?” She called. Ten went downstairs and seen her wondering around. “Are you Bailey?” He asked her. “Hellwo sir, where’s my mommy?” She asked. “Uhhh she’s sleeping. I don’t want you to disturb her okay?” He told her. “Okay..can you pway with me?” She asked. “What?” He replied. “Pway with me, I got some wew dollies and my mommy’s not up to pway, so you have to.” She explained. He looked at her eyes and seen a reflection of Y/n in them. How cute was she? “Okay, I’ll play with you. But only five minutes.” Ten said.

She led him upstairs to her room and seen that it was a typical child’s room. Pink walls, pink bed, pink...everything... “Do you wike my room?” She asked. “Yes, it’s cute. Like you.” Ten said. “Tank you!!” She smiled. She smiled like Y/n. “Wow..you look exactly like your mom.” Ten said sitting on the bed. “I lot of pweople say tat.” She said pulling out more dolls from her toy box. She sat on the floor and handed Ten a doll. “This is my mommy’s favowite dollie. She says it wooks wike me.” Bailey said. “It does, doesn’t it?” Ten responded. He watched her as she played. “How old are you Bailey?” Ten asked. “I’m thwee.” She said holding up two fingers. Ten smiled and held up three fingers. “It’s like this, not this.” He said demonstrating. She looked at her fingers. “Thwee?” She asked holding up three fingers now. “Yes, three.” He smiled.

She giggled and played with her dolls again. “Thwee..” She mumbled while practicing it. He couldn’t help but to giggle at her cuteness. He then felt a slight pain in his shoulder. He forgot that he was shot during the incident. He got up from the bed. “Okay, Bailey you stay right here. I’ll be back.” Ten said. “Otay..” She mumbled still playing. He closed her door and went to Y/n bedroom. He seen that she was still asleep and went into the bathroom.

He seen that there were bandages and medicine for his wound. He took off his shirt and winced as he applied the medicine. After he did, he tore the bandages and wrapped his arm. He then hears someone approaching. “Oh!! T-Ten..” Y/n said.

Your POV

I woke up from the nap I took and heard someone in the bathroom. I thought it was my husband so I went inside. Then I seen that it was Ten. “Oh!! T-Ten..” I said. I seen that he didn’t have on a shirt. A tattoo on his arm showing along with the one on his chest. I blinked while looking at his body. He had it all...handsome face, amazing fighting skills, and now an amazing body. I was finally pulled away from my thoughts when I heard his voice.

“Are you gonna sit there and fuck me with your eyes or are you gonna answer my question?” He asked with arms crossed. “Umm..what did you ask?” I asked. “I said, are you alright?” He repeated. Not with your body out like this. “Y-Yeah! I’m fine..” I said. He hummed and put his shirt back on. “Are you? I mean...” I said. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll always be alright as long as you are.” He said, fixing his shirt now.

“Thank you..for saving me. I would’ve been a dead woman without you.” I said. “Your welcome.” He said. “And your mother called earlier.” He said. I gasped. “Oh my god! My-“ “Calm down, she’s in her room with her dolls. She’s alright.” Ten said. I breathed out. “Thank you!” I said. He nod. “I’ll go and check on her.” He said. I nodded. “Okay..I’ll shower.” I said. He walked out of the room and left me there. I cut on the hot water and undressed myself. I climbed in and let the water hit my body. I sighed of relief. Today was a scary and hard day. I was almost shot at and almost died for breathing in gas.

If it wasn’t for Ten, I’d really be dead. I have no knowledge of self protection. Luckily, he’s here to protect me. My thoughts traveled back to Ten at the restaurant. Even though he killed some people because they tried to kill me, I don’t know why I found that attractive. He was very skilled with hands, feet, knifes and guns. His care for me as well...when I was a little bit unconscious, I heard him mumbling my name.

I haven’t anyone care for me in a way like that in a while. Lastly, his body....wow...his body just now was something I couldn’t get out my head. I felt my hand moved to my folds, touching over them and rubbing them. I sighed and bit my lip. I moved my fingers in circles, feeling the pleasure. My mind was clouded with Ten. I moaned out. “Ten...” I whispered. I gripped my breast, remembering the moment where he did the same. “If you want more..all you have to do is ask...” His words echoed through my head. Should I take up on that? “Ten.” I moaned a little louder. “More...I want more...” I whispered to myself, now slipping my fingers in my wet heat.

Ten’s POV

I was playing with Bailey and talking to her. “Ten? I’m hungwry..” She mumbled. “Let me go and talk to your mom. Stay right here.” I said. This child is too cute, sometimes I don’t want to leave her alone. She’s just like Y/n. Even though it’s only been the first day with Y/n, I’ve known her for a while. I didn’t do as much of stalking her, just..watching her from a distance. I was originally supposed to kill Y/n but instead fell in love with her.

I lied and said that I was going to be her bodyguard and to kill her then, but I only did this because I want to be with her. Her husband was a very old friend of mine. He was a just a regular kid until his parents built a company. He then became a rich little shit. He left me alone and went to go hang out with other people that bullied me. I was always an outcast in school, hell I still am. They always thought of me as an easy target and a push over.

I wasn’t really raised by my parents, just my grandmother who passed away a year ago. She was my first love I have to say. Y/n is my second. I then joined classes that involved violence. I graduated from high school and went with these group of guys that trained me to be an assassin. To be honest, I’m surprised that bastard doesn’t even know that it’s me.

I reached the door of Y/n bedroom and enter, just as I was walking I heard her moaning. I crept into the doorway of the bathroom and heard her more. “Ten...More..I want more...” She moaned to herself. I smirked and walked away from the door. I knew she wanted me... “Okay, if you want more, then I’ll give you more...” I said to myself.

[vanillacaramelhoney]

Different (4)

Pairing(s): Five Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: YN leaned over to whisper to Five. "I like him."

Warnings: Mentions of doing the deed 😏, uhhh some violence?

A/N: I absolutely love Klaus and his dramatics

Will this post show up in tags? Who knows

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The Meritech building was modern, as expected for such a big company. Walls lined with windows gave a great view of the city outside while also allowing natural light inside. Nearly everything was white, giving the place a cold and sterile feel to it.

Five and YN waited a while for the building to open before they could finally go in. As they waited, Five had filled her in on the importance of the eye.

"Can I help you, kids?"

Turning back around, Five and YN saw a man dressed in a white lab coat with identification wrapped around his neck.

Five took the lead, stepping forward and holding the eye up. "We need to know who this belongs to."

YN stood right to the side of him.

"Where did you get that?" the man asked.

"What do you care?" Trying not to sigh, YN poked Five's back as a way to tell him to say something better. "We found it. At a playground, actually. Must have just-" Five clicked his tongue "-popped out." Five smiled up at the man, while YN bit the inside of her cheek, resisting a laugh.

"I wanna return it to its rightful owner," Five explained.

"Oh, what a thoughtful young man," the receptionist awed.

"Yeah, look up the name for me, will ya?" he asked her.

"Uh, I'm sorry, but patient records are strictly confidential," the man told him. "That means I can't tell you-"

"Yeah, I know what it means," Five stopped him.

"I can tell you what I can do. I'll take the eye off your hands and return it to the owner. I'm sure he or she will be very grateful, so if I can just-"

"Yeah, you're not touching this eye," Five snapped.

"Now you listen here, young man-" before he could continue, Five had the collar of his coat in his hands, pulling him down to his eye level.

YN let out a sigh, innocently glancing away from the scene.

"No, you listen to me, asshole," he spat. "We've come a long way for this, through some shit your pea brain couldn't even comprehend, so just give me the information we need, and we'll be on our merry way. And if you call me 'young man' one more time, I'm gonna put your head through that damn wall."

"Oh, dear," the receptionist's voice wavered. YN sent a smile her way.

"Call security."

The woman picked up the phone and quickly dialed. Recognizing defeat, Five let the man go with a shove.

Vanya let out a sigh at the sight of her brother. "Oh, thank god." He glanced back at her. "I was worried sick about you."

"Sorry I left without saying goodbye," he apologized, turning to her.

"No, look, I'm the one that should be sorry," Vanya said. "I was dismissive, and I guess I didn't know how to process what you were saying. And I still can't, to be honest."

"Maybe you were right to be dismissive," Five said. "Maybe it wasn't real, after all. It felt real. Well, like you said, the old man did say time travel could contaminate the mind."

"Then maybe I'm not the right person for you to be talking to," Vanya told him. "Look, I used to see someone. A therapist. I could give you her information."

"Thanks, but," Five trailed off for a second, "I think I'm just gonna get some rest. It's been a long time since I've had a good sleep."

"Okay," Vanya said. "And your friend- is she alright?"

"Yeah, she's around here somewhere."

"Alright." Vanya left the room after one final look at Five.

He followed after her to make sure she left, and the wardrobe door came open, two figures crawling out and unintentionally pulling stuff out with them.

"That's so," Klaus trailed off as he stumbled up, as did YN. "...touching. All that stuff about Dad and time. Wow!"

"Did you have to shove me in there with you?" YN asked Klaus.

"Would you two shut up?" Five hissed. "She'll hear you!"

"I'm moist," Klaus played, patting YN's back.

"I thought I told you to put on something professional," Five said, gesturing to Klaus's outfit.

"What?" Klaus asked. "This is my nicest outfit."

Five sighed. "We'll raid the old man's closet."

"Whatever, as long as I get paid." YN snorted.

"When the job is done."

They trailed out of the room together.

"Okay, but just so we're clear on the finer details," Klaus said, bringing them all to a stop, "I just gotta go into this place and pretend to your guy's dear old dad, correct?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"What's our cover story?"

"What?" YN asked. "Why would we need a cover story?"

"Well, I mean, was I like really young when I had you guys?" Klaus went in. "Like 16? Like, young and terribly misguided?"

"Sure," Five agreed, wanting the conversation to be over.

"Your mother, that slut." YN tried to hold back her laugh but failed. "Whoever she was. We met at..." he trailed off in thought before a fond smile spread across his face, "the disco. Okay? Remember that."

Klaus snapped his fingers. "Oh, my god, the sex was amazing."

"What a disturbing glimpse into that thing you call a brain," Five said, turning and grabbing YN's hand. He led her down the stairs as Klaus said something about time-out.

YN leaned over to whisper to Five. "I like him."

"Of course, you do."

"Like I said to your kids earlier, any information about the prosthetics we build is strictly confidential," the man Five and YN had dealt with not long again spoke to Klaus now, who sat across from him. "Without the client's consent, I simply can't help you."

"Well, we can't get consent if you don't give us a name," Five told him, leaning on the desk.

"Well, that's not my problem," he said. "Sorry. Now, there's really nothing more I can do, so-" "And what about my consent?"

The three looked to Klaus, confused.

"Excuse me?"

"Who gave you permission...," Klaus trailed off before continuing to speak with an edge of pain to his voice, "to lay your hands...on my kids?" He pointed up at Five, who stared down at him in confusion.

The man across from them seemed just as confused.

"What?" the three asked.

"You heard me."

"I didn't touch your children."

"Oh, really?" Klaus asked. "Well, how did he get that swollen lip, then?" He sat up in his chair.

Both YN and the man tried to question him on Five's lack of swollen lip. Klaus, however, was one step ahead, standing from the chair and swinging at Five.

The man stared in shock, and YN bit her lip to keep herself from doing anything.

"And her?" Klaus pointed back at YN, who's eyes widened as she realized it was her turn. "That bloody nose."

YN sighed, bracing herself.

Klaus's fist collided with her nose, and she stumbled back with a shout. Blood slowly dripped from her nose and down her face, falling onto the floor.

For someone that looked as scrawny as he was, Klaus sure did pack a punch.

Five was by her side in an instant to make sure she was alright.

Klaus inhaled sharply, turning to him. "I want it. Name, please. Now."

"You're crazy," the man pointed at him.

Klaus chuckled. "You've got no idea." He glanced down at the snow globe on the desk, picking it up. "'Peace on Earth.' That's so sweet."

In a quick motion, he smashed the snow globe on his head, groaning out in pain.

The three jumped, startled, as Klaus let out a howl of pain.

"God, that hurt." His face was wet, glitter in his hair and blood dripping down his face.

The man quickly picked up the phone, mentioning security. Klaus ripped the phone from his hand.

"What are you doing?"

Klaus gasped into the phone. "There's been an assault in Mr. Big's office, and we need security now," he said. "Schnell!" He let the receiver clatter onto the desk and looked up at the man.

"Now here's what's gonna happen, Grant," Klaus said.

"It's...Lance."

"In about sixty seconds, two security guards are gonna burst through that door, and they're gonna see a whole lot of blood, and they're gonna wonder 'What the hell happened?'"

Five looked at Lance, a smug look on his face.

"He really knows what he's doing," YN muttered to him. Five glanced back at her.

"And we're gonna tell them that you...," Klaus trailed off as a look of sorrow spread across his face, and a whimpering tone took over his voice, "beat the shit out of us." He let out a dramatic sob that turned into a sigh.

"You're gonna do great in prison, Grant," Klaus told him. "Trust me, I've been there. A little piece of chicken like you, oh, my god, you're gonna get passed around like a..." the man trailed off as he began rotating his hips in a circular motion. He quickly waved off the thought. "You're just- you're gonna do great. That's all I'm saying."

"Jesus, you're a real sick bastard," Lance said, looking between the other two before staring up at Klaus.

"Thank you." He spit out a shard of glass.

Lance picked through the documents with shaky hands with the three watching him closely.

He pulled out a file and opened it, sending an uncertain glance at Klaus.

"Huh, that's strange," he said.

"What?" Five and YN asked.

"The eye," Lance explained. "It hasn't been purchased by a client yet."

Klaus dropped off the surface and landed next to him. "What? What do you mean?"

"Well, uh, our logs say that," he trailed off a moment to glance at Klaus, who walked around him as an intimidation tactic, "the eye with that serial number... This can't be right. It hasn't even been manufactured yet. Where did you get that eye?"

He looked at the two across from him in bewilderment.

Five sighed with a subtle shake of his head.

It was quiet for a moment before YN finally broke it.

"Do you have any tissues?"

"Well, this is not good." The three walked out of the building in defeat once again.

"I was pretty good, though, right?" Klaus asked. "Yeah, what about my consent, bitch?" He let out a wild chuckle.

"Yeah, you were great, Klaus," YN agreed, "but did you have to give a bloody nose? Jesus." She dropped down on the steps of the building, holding a bundle of tissues to her still dripping nose.

"Look, it doesn't matter," Five injected.

"What? What? What's the big deal with this eye, anyway?" Klaus questioned.

"There is someone out there that is going to lose an eye in the next seven days," Five told him. "They're gonna bring about the end of the world as we know it."

"It's a pretty big deal," YN added.

"Yeah, can I get that twenty bucks like, now, or?" YN groaned in annoyance.

"You can't be serious, Klaus."

"Your twenty bucks?" Five asked.

"Yeah, my twenty bucks."

"The apocalypse is coming, and all you can think about is getting high?" Five seethed.

"Well, I'm also quite hungry. Tummy's a-rumblin'." He imitated his stomach, adding in weird hand motions.

"You're useless," Five said. "You're all useless."

"Five," YN warned.

"Oh, come on, you need to lighten up, old man!"

Five ignored him, opting to sit down by YN.

"Hey, I just now realized why you're so uptight- you must be horny as hell," Klaus laughed out, joining Five's side. "All those years- did the two of you never go at it, or something? That would be mind-blowing. Surely you'd crack at some point. Besides, don't think I didn't notice those rings."

YN hid her face in her free hand, trying to hide in embarrassment.

"You don't need to hear about all the things we've done," Five grumbled.

"Oh, so you've done a lot?"

"Oh, my god," YN drawled.

"I bet you say that to him a lot." YN looked away in disbelief.

"You know, you guys sure have been together a long time," Klaus said. "God, the longest I've been with someone was three weeks, and that's only because I was so tired of looking for a place to sleep."

"Can we leave?" YN whispered to Five.

The boy grabbed her hand, and they jumped into a taxi.

The driver looked back at them, startled.

"Don't stop," Five told him. "Just keep driving."

----Taglist

@fancytravelerbird​ @megasimpleplan4ever​ @yikes-matey​ @we-all-are-strange​

[blackhakumen]

Mini Fanfic #707: The Slap (Super Smash Bros Ultimate)

2:23 p.m. at Smash's Mansion.......

Bowser: ('Scoffs') I don't believe your ass already, Ridley. There's no way you actually managed to get a lady's number!

Ridley: (Glares at Bowser) Why? You think just because I'm some monsterous space pirate, I wouldn't have any chances on scoring with anyone?

Hades: (Rolled his Eyes) You practically put the words right out of our mouths on that one.....

Ganondorf: You're appearance alone does seem more threatening.in the eyes, compare to the rest of us.

Bowser: (Gives Ridley a Smug Look on His Face) We have more chances of getting any woman than you wish you can.

Ridley: Really? (Crosses his Arms Together) Then by all means, tell me what exactly you imbeciles have to impress the ladies that I don't!?

Ganondorf: Well, I have muscles, dark magic, a evil, dominate personality....

Bowser: I can kidnap any princess no problem. (Shutters a Little in Fear) As long as it isn't Daisy.....

Hades: (Puts on the Most Smug Like Grin He Ever Had) Do you have any idea who you're asking this to? I'm motherfucking Hades! I can get any woman I want with little to no effort.

Sephiroth: (Smirks Confidently While Holding Onto a Cheerful Pichu in his Arms) I'm already a fan favorite in this town. Isn't that right, son?

Pichu: (Happily Cheers) Pichu!~

Mewtwo: (Crosses his Arm While in an Uninterested Manner) Love and romances are beyond my interest......

Dark Samus: ...................................

Bowser: See, even Dark Samus gas a chance at getting more numbers than you can!

Ridley: ('Groans') Forget I asked.....All I know is that I have enough charm and personality to get as much beautiful ladies than you hooligans can ever dream of havi- (Sudden Feels Someone Tapping his Shoulder) Hm? (Turns Around at the Person) What do you- (Eyes Widened at the Person) want?

The person in question was none other than Chun-Li, who is now glaring harshly at the space pirate in complete silence.

Bowser: (Eyes Widened at the Woman Presence) Holy shit, is that Chun-Li-

Ganondorf: (Sliently Shushes at Bowser)

Ridley: (Confused at the Woman Glaring at Him as he Slowly Raises his Finger Up) Uhhhhhhh.........Can I....help you-

Then, without warning, Chun-Li suddenly gives the space pirate three, stinging slaps across the face. The third slap she delivered was so hard that it caused Ridley to crash on the club's table.

Bowser: (Immediately Got Up From the Table Along with Everyone Else) Oh shit!

Ganondorf: That escalated quickly.....

Sephiroth: (Still Holding Onto Pichu) It's more unexpected if anything..........

Mewtwo: Whatever Ridley did to her, he deserves it.

Dark Samus: ...............................

Ridley: (Groans and Winces in Pain from the Slaps he Has Gotten) What did I....do......

Chun-Li: That...was for murdering Samus' parents, you heartless monster! (Gives Ridley One Final Glare Before Walking Away) ('Hmph')

'A Bit of Silence'

Bowser: Soooooooooooo uhhh.......('Clicks is Tongue') You guys wanna talk about what just happened, or-

Hades: Mheheheheh....Aheheheheh....AH!-

Meanwhile at the Living Room.......

Samus: (Smiles Softly as She Sees her Girlfriend Making her Way to the Sofa) Hey there, beautiful stranger~ What took you so long? And where your bottle of water?

Chun-Li: I uh.... (Looks Down While Shyly Twiddling her Fingers Around) Didn't get the water bottle......

Samus: Really? How come?

Chun-Li: Well.....you see, I didn't get it because.... u-ummmm...........(Finally Sighs in Defeat) I can't lie to you like this, Sammy......

Samus: (Frowns a Little in Worry) What do you mean? What's wrong?

Chun-Li: (Takes a Deep Breath Before Speaking) I didn't go to the kitchen to get water. I....went to the dining halls to see one of your mortal enemies, Ridley, in person. A-And by seeing him in person, I mean....... slapping him across the face.....

Samus: (Eyes Widened in Complete Surprised) You bitch slapped Ridley!?

Chun-Li: I-I-I wouldn't go as far as to put it like that! But....('Sigh') If you insist, then yeah..... it's the truth.

Samus: (Almost at a Loss of Words) Holy shit.........

Chun-Li: (Immediately Feels Terrible as She Bows at Samus) Gomenasai! I didn't mean to do something like that! I felt really bad about what happened to your parents and, well, I-

Before Chun-Li could even finish her sentence and much to her very surprise, Samus gives her a sudden yet loving and passionate kiss on the laps, which lasted about a few seconds before she slowly pulling away.

Samus: (Takes a Deep Breath Before Speaking) I love you~

Chun-Li: (Immediately Blushes Bright Red) Really? I-I-I mean!.... Y-You're not... really mad at me?

Samus: What? (Chuckles Lightly) Of course I'm not mad at you, 'hon. I was more surprised that you actually went over there and did it if anything. That and....(Smiles Softly While Blushing Herself) It really made me happy that you did all of this for me. I mean, I know everyone else in this mansionwould've done the same for me, but..... I'm still thankful.

Chun-Li: (Stares at Samus for a Few Seconds Before Smiling Softly Herself) Sammy~ You don't need to thank me for something like that. I just....Did what I thought was right....or at least justifiable. I mean, really, take it from someone who dealt with someone taking their love ones away from them in a young age. Or.....more so.....(Frowns a Little) a father......

Samus: (Begins to Frown as Well) Oh no. I'm so sorry. Who was the guy who did that to you?

Chun-Li: ('Sigh') An evil dictator name, Bison. Hate him with a passionate.....But at least he's finally dead now. So I don't have to worry about him anymore.

Samus: That's good at least. Again, I'm really sorry you had to go through with all of that...... Losing your own father and everything......

Chun-Li: (Smiles Softly) It's okay, Samus. I may still miss him to this very day, but......in a way, his passing......kind of helped that there's more to life than just mourning and being miserable. I may had some stressful times along the way, sure, but....thanks to a few of my closest friends, colleagues, and Li Fein, I still manage to pull through in the end and I'm proud of myself for that.

Samus: (Smiles Softly) As you should be. You are the Strongest Woman in the World after all. (Winks at Chun-Li)

Chun-Li: (Giggles Softly While Blushing) Oh geez....People still call me that nowadays?

Samus: Oh definitely. You do have some impressive feats in your arsenal.

Chun-Li: Maybe. (Gently Holds Samus' Hand with Two of Hers) But I believe you're just as strong as me and any woman in this world. I know losing a love one and...even living with someone who harmed them in the first place, can be pretty tough at times. But as long as you can help your head held high and keep living life to the very fullest, I'm positive you'll continue doing just fine in this world. Don't you think?

Samus: (Simply.Nodded in Agreement) I understand it completely thanks to you. And hey, if you ever feel like you need someone to talk to and all of that, I'm always here for you.

Chun-Li: (Happily Nodded as Well) Thank you so much....... S-So uh....

Samus: Hm? What's up?

Chun-Li: After that kiss you gave me.....(Starts Blushing Again) You really meant it when you said you love me?~

Samus: (Starts Blushing Herself) Oh! Uhh.....Yeah. I....guess I really did. (Chuckles Lightly While Rubbing the Back of Her Head Back and Forth) Sorry about saying it out of nowher-

Before Samus could even finish that sentence, Chun-Li pulls her in and gives her a loving, passionate Kiss on the lips. Causing the Bounty Hunter's blush to turn bright red.

Chun-Li: (Pulls Away From Samus For a Few Seconds While Giving her a Playful Smirk on her Face) Don't be. I love you too, Sammy~

Samus: (Almost Speechless) C-C-C-Cool- (Gets Pulled into Another Kissing Session with the Strongest Woman in the World)

Bonus

Hades: (Continues Laughing his Ass Off at Ridley) AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Ridley: (Sighs in Annoyance as He Rubs his Slapped Cheek Up and Down) Are you done laughing now or-

Hades: (Holds his Finger Up as He's Still Laughing at the Still Annoyed Space Pirate) HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ('Inhales Deep Breath') AHHHHH!- (Suddenly and Finally Calms Himself Down) All done now.

Ridley: Finally-

Hades: HA! Now I'm done.

Ridley: (Growls at the God of the Underworld)

Ganondorf: Okay! As entertaining as that situation was, I think it's about time we start figuring all of this out.

Bowser: (Smirks Smugly at Ridley While Snickering) Yeah. Like wondering what you did to piss off "the Strongest Woman in the World"

Ridley: (Glares at Bowser) I DON'T KNOW, OKAY!? Seriously, she just slapped me and blamed me for killing Samus' parents-

Hades: Which you definitely did, by the way.

Ridley: SHUT UP! A-And another thing......(Starts Getting Flabbergasted) I-I didn't even know the woman who Samus was!!

Ganondorf: Yeah. How does she knows who the Bounty Hunter is anyways?

Mewtwo: They're in the romance relationship with one another.

Ganondorf: (Turns to Mewtwo With Genuine Surprised in his Eyes) Wait. Seriously?

Mewtwo: (Simply Nodded) That's right. Why else would a veteran Street Fighter go as far as to slap someone like Ridley across the face three times? It's one of the many ways for any partner to defend their love ones honor, after all.

Bowser: Huh. (Chuckles Lightly) Well, good on Samus for scoring someone like her.

Ridley: (Still Irritated).Yeah. Sure. Good for her. Who gives a shit!? I'm still in pain here!

Hades: Oh give it a rest already, you blantent pussy. So you got bitch slapped by your arch nemesis' girlfriend. Big deal! You can just walk it off and-

Before Hades can finish his sentence, one of Dark Pit's girlfriends, Misako, comes out of nowhere and gives him a hard hitting punch in the gut, followed by a flying kick to the face by Kyoko, another one of Dark Pit's girlfriends, instantly causing poor God to fall down into the ground in utter pain.

Hades: (Groans in Pain)

Misako: (Walks Up to the Beaten Hades) That was for making our Angel Boi watch Boku no Pico, jackass! (Gives Hades a Middle Finger Before Walking Off)

Kyoko: (Turns Away While Crossing her Arms and Following Misako Behind) ('Hmph')

Sephiroth: (Still Holding Onto a Giggling Pichu) Well, what do you know? Another unexpected chain of events.

Bowser: (Chuckles Lightly) Yeah. And it's two for the price of one.

Hades: That brat.....punched me in the gut......Why.....Why would she punched me in the gut?........

Ridley: Not so funny getting your ass kicked, doesn't it?

@keyenuta

@26shann

@caleb13frede

@cyber-wildcat

@miki-13

@ma-lemons

@albion-93

[justasparkwritings]

Codename Cupid: Chapter 21

Previous: Codename Black Panther 

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x OFC

Genre: Secret AgentAU, Government AgentAU, Smut Lite

Rating: PG17

Word Count: 2.9K

Warnings: Swearing, Grinding, Making Out 

Summary: Lee Euna receives a startling message and goes to the one person she assumes will have the answers, or at least, an explanation. 

(uhhh didn’t know it was going to be this long)

The Final Notice

Present Day

           The note said they’d be meeting me face to face, but months have passed, and I am sitting here, waiting. Waiting for a sign, for another note, for someone to be sitting in my living room when I return home, for a dead rabbit to appear in my pasta pot, Jungkook to be taken for ransom, literally anything. And yet, nothing has happened. No note or call.

           I’ve increased surveillance on Taehyung, the only one who seems to connect some of these men, and by a stroke of pure genius, put a tracker on his car and Namjoon’s, as well as a few bugs in their apartment. There’s only so many times you can send flowers with a vague card, and a listening device embedded within the glass. Who gets rid of vases? Hopefully not these men.

           I’ve learned few things in my listening, namely that I am correct. The men are connected. Taehyung and Jimin are best friends and spend an innumerable number of hours together. They also spend time with Namjoon, who I think, if I’m correct, knows Hoseok. Hobi is a nickname for Hoseok, right? And if not, I’m fucked. They’ve added a new person to their discussion, someone they call Black Panther, who sounds like a right pain in the ass. All they do is bitch about how they’re constantly on call to deal with Black Panther’s mess, that Black Panther is getting in their way and in turn, ruining all plans. They speak in some code I don’t know, and I don’t know how to crack it. What I’m more startled by, is the fact that they continue to call this mystery person black panther, who calls a friend Black Panther? That’s like, cultural appropriation lite?

           It’s not, I’m kidding. It’s totally not.

           When I put it all the information together, Black Panther out of the equation because I have no idea who it is, it doesn’t amount to much. Names and addresses, a few yelp reviews, and nothing more. My gut is telling me there’s something here, something more than what Euna believes. Hoseok showing up in Genevieve’s photos, the trio going out to dinner, the mysterious note with the water mark, it has to add up to something. That and they keep mentioning the 7 of them, when the 7 of them are together, they’ll make sense of it, when the 7 of them are all clued in, they can handle Black Panther. Is Black Panther not their seventh member?

           The door to my office slams open, and a disgruntled Euna stomps in, lily white, tears cascading through her foundation.

           “Euna, what a sur-

           “Did you know about this?” She demands, shoving a picture in my face.

           “What?”

           “They know each other!” She yells.

           The photo, a polaroid, of Min Yoongi, Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung and Kim Namjoon. I’ve never seen them all together, Euna was right, they are despicably pretty.

           “How in your world did you not figure out that they know each other?”

          “I-

          “They look pretty fucking chummy to me!”

           “Euna, please, sit, let’s chat,” I stand to get her a water, which she yanks out of my hand and tosses down her throat.

           “Have you been withholding information?” Her voice has simmered, the bubbles of discontent slowly rising to the surface but never popping.

           All I can do is sigh and shrug my shoulders. Lying is not going to work, she’s paying me enough to give her one of my unused eggs, the least I can do is be honest with her.  

           “That’s unfair, I could demand money back for your deception,” Euna says.

           “I have withheld information on the basis that I need more time to connect the dots,” I start. “This is season 1 of The Wire and I’m fucking McNulty asking for more time to put the wire up. These men, Euna,” I exhale again, “It’s not linear, I can’t just plot them and see the whole picture. It’s much more complicated than that.”

           “Explain,”

           “All of it?”

           “Yes, all of it, you think I want to fucking understand parts of it?” Valid question.

           “Fine. It starts sometime when Kim Namjoon was sixteen, I’m not sure what that something is, but that’s the beginning of it. He was a prodigy, renowned in mathematics and rhetoric, short listed for a Nobel Prize by fifteen. After Namjoon, it moves to you and Seokjin, which leads to you and Yoongi, Jun-Seo and Jimin. Finally, it all ends up at Taehyung and whatever happened there,” I glance at her, hoping she’ll tell me if the supposed abortion was from him or someone else. “Somehow Jung Hoseok winds up at Lee Enterprise’s Masquerade, and Kim Namjoon comes back into the picture as a friend of Jimin and Taehyung’s.”

           “Jung Hoseok has taken Kwan on a few dates,”

           “Are they still seeing each other?”

           “No. That’s all you’ve got?”

           “I’ve got more, but I’m not sure it’s going to help you understand this anymore than you already do.” I don’t move to open any files on my computer or pull up any surveillance, Euna doesn’t need that, that information won’t help her in any way understand what these men have in common.

           “Does this make sense to you?” She asks.

           “It’s all,” I sigh, “fits and starts.”

           “Why am I paying you?”

           “Euna, you have given me an already impossible job, and then added more impossible tasks on top of that. I have found all of these men, I have addresses, I have occupations and locations of current employment for five out of seven. I’ve done a fucking good job on something that should truly be solved by a governing body, not a P.I. who bought thirty dollar’s worth of Indian food and ate it over five days because I couldn’t afford to buy more. I’ve used all my resources, called in favors, spied, tiptoed on the brink of impropriety in order to get you results. I’ve done a damn good job.”

           Glowering, her voice is impenetrable, “Then why can’t you find Min Yoongi?”

           “That man has erased himself from the internet, completely, from every website, every search, he’s just gone.” Exasperatedly, I throw my hands in the air as my voice rises. How many times can I explain this to her?

           “He’s alive though,” She counters.

           “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I can pinpoint him,” I grit my teeth and stand, pacing slowly around my office, her voice trailing behind me as I move.

           “He’s really,” She pauses, “Out of any of them, Y/N, he’s the one.”

           I run my hand through my hair before pulling at the strands and aggressively knotting it in a ponytail, the anger feeding into the heat of my body and I shed my sweatshirt. A sweatshirt, with a line drawing of a uterus, that my mother refused to buy me for my birthday so I spent $90 on it myself. I know Euna hates it, but it’s my office and I didn’t know she’d be popping in today in her Dior terrycloth jumpsuit. If I did, I would’ve at least put on a J.Crew sweatshirt and leggings that don’t have wax on them from making crayon art with the kids I used to nanny.  

           “I know, Euna. I know he’s important, I know he’s the one that got away, I know he’s the white whale of this whole investigation. But Euna, he-

           In the middle of my breath, the door opens again creating a space for Jungkook to saunter in. He’s parted his hair, a little off center, and hasn’t put in any product leaving the tendrils to fall softly framing his face. His locks are still long adjacent, and his left hand is using his sweater paw to hold a scalding beverage. His eyebrows are sloped, a genuine look of concern reflecting into my irises. The relief I feel cascading over me, of familiarity, of home, nearly bulldozes me into him.

           “Cricket, I brought you some,” His voice trails as he takes in my client. “Coffee.”

           “Oh thank god,” I whisper. Taking the cup from him, my eyes apologetic as I fall gracelessly into his open arms. The scent of his shampoo and cologne swirl in my nose, relaxing my senses. Nothing smells as sexy as Jungkook. No one looks as sexy as Jungkook does, no matter what he’s wearing, no matter the time of day or night. NSYNC put it best when they sang “god must’ve spent a little more time on you”, because whoever arranged the chromosomes and bone structure within Jungkook truly made a masterpiece. As the kids would say, he’s a whole ass meal. Jungkook keeps a hand splayed on my back while he turns back to Euna. He scans her up and down, no doubt assessing the level of danger she’s presenting.

           “Who are you?” Euna snaps.

           “This is my boyfriend, he was just dropping off some coffee,” I answer. The arm around his waist squeezes a little tighter, my head still resting against his chest.

           “Do I know you?” She wonders.

           “Me?” Jungkook asks.

           “Yes, you, who else?”

           He looks from me to her and back again, “Uh.” He shakes his head.

           “You look so familiar,” She eyes him cautiously, “You’re Korean?”

           “Uh, yeah,” His affirmation causes a twinkle in her eye, a recognition that if she wanted, she could use the powers at her fingertips to find his life story, overturn any

           “Hmm,” She scans him again. “Are you leaving?”

           “Oh, yeah sorry to interrupt,” Jungkook quickly glances at me, mouth moving to form SORRY as he scurries out the door. I hate when he leaves.

           “Don’t fall in love with Korean men, they’ll ruin your life,” Euna sits back down, tossing back some of her water before looking back at the photo.

           “Was something else left? A note maybe?” I hope this will move her back to the topic at hand, the photo in question and whomever left it, not my relationship.

           “Yes, there was,” She reaches into her purse and oh how I wish she had gloves on. The note reads like the last one I received, rhyming and all.

           “You’re looking too hard / We’ve been in plain sight / Stop looking for us / Or we’ll turn out your light,” I read. “Wow, premeditated violence.”

           “What the fuck does that mean?” Euna’s gone back to panic, eyes wild and cheeks red.

           “It means they’ve been in front of us this whole time, as in, we’ve overlooked them,” I clarify.

           “How could you have overlooked them?”

           “I’m not the only one, Euna, you have maybe overlooked them too. Maybe it’s a larger commentary on your persona in a relationship.”

           “My persona in a relationship? What would you know of that?”

           “I know what you’ve told me, and I know what I’ve seen through our interactions. No one is perfect,” I’m trying to soften this, but she’s truly living up to Dae-Seong in her blind rage.

           “Don’t try and compare your relationship to the heartache I have endured!”

           “Euna, I’m not,” The exasperation cannot be more pronounced as I roll my eyes and sigh heavily.

           “Your boyfriend, does what? How do you know he isn’t involved with these bastards?”

           “I don’t,” My honesty cuts her off, eyes widening slightly at my levelheaded response. Her pause gives me worry, what is she thinking?

           “Well, what do we do with these?” She shifts in the tension I’m brewing, I’m unsure what the solution is.

           “I can spend the afternoon trying to trace it, I can fingerprint the note and see what comes up, if anything,” I offer.

           “Will something?” A glimmer of hope, the worst emotion to ever contain or blossom in the human mind.

           “Probably not, whoever these men are, they are far too good to be caught doing whatever it is they’re doing.”

           “We need them all, all six,” Euna demands.

           “What do you want from them?” The thousandth time it leaves my lips, it’s complete insanity. This will never change.

           “What every woman wants,” She broods.

           “Euna, I don’t know what that is,” I’m sinking lower into my chair with every syllable.

           “Those who ask don’t get to know,” Abruptly she’s standing and leaving, belongings gathered in one hand, feet stomping heavily into the aged hardwood.

           Ah, another hint at her upbringing.

           I’m moving slowly through my apartment, Jungkook already sitting on the couch looking deeply cozy in his favorite grey sweats and a sweatshirt with a famous swoosh emblezaned across his chest. Dinner, pizza, is on its way, and a very large glass of prosecco sits waiting for me. I in turn am tossing off my bra, a sight Jungkook is audibly upset by, and coming to sit on the couch, in his embrace.

           “I couldn’t leave, she was mad, I was worried about you,” He tells me, his lips pressing to my forehead repeatedly. “I didn’t know if she was going to hurt you.”

           “About me? Bunny I’m okay, she doesn’t scare me, at least not physically,” I reply, my lips pressing against his neck in recognition of his vulnerability.

           “I didn’t know if she was going to hurt you,”

           “Bunny,” I sit up, turning my head to his.

           “Cricket,” His eyes move from mine to my lip, his thumb coming to swipe over the bitten cherry of my lower lip.

           “I love you, thank you for worrying about me,” I tell him, leaning in to kiss him, his soft, well moisturized lips making up for the bruised state of mine.

           “I love you too,” He hesitates, his lips starting to say something but stopping.

           “Jungkook?”

           “I also found, this,” He pulls out a note, the watermark distinguishable against the light.

           In black ink, a date and time is printed, and underneath:

Roses are red / Violets are blue / It’s time for us to meet / We’re ready, are you?

           “What does this mean?” Jungkook asks.

           “It means that, that I’m meeting with someone who may or may not want something from me, or maybe will hurt me. So just, be prepared.”

           “What’s the one promise you made me make when we first started dating?” He pulls me back into his embrace, but I catch the sadness in his eyes.

           “Aren’t we still in that honeymoon phase?” I want to lighten the mood and not focus on the way my heart is hurting. I never thought I would be the one concerned about not coming home, having Jungkook panicking over my safety.

          I don’t like it, like at all.

           “Absolutely, I think we’ll always be in that phase, but Y/N, please answer the question,” His arms tighten around my waist, another kiss to my temple, replaced by his soft cheek.

           “If you’re not coming home, tell me. If something is going to jeopardize you coming back to me, you have to let me know,” I quote myself.

           “So, if you are going to jeopardize your safety, Y/N, Cricket, my beloved, you gotta tell me. Let me follow you or drop a pin, or use Find My Friends so I can check up on you,” Jungkook rattles off all the apps with ease, a feat I find slightly concerning.

           “I don’t want you to –

           “No, no arguing.” His voice is curt, his words definite.

           “Okay,”

           “I love you, Cricks, and I don’t ever want to imagine anything happening to you.”

           “I know Bunny,” If I could burrow into him, I would. His embrace is my safe place, my weighted blanket after a panic attack, fuck during a panic attack.

          I have to come home to him. Whatever this note entails, it doesn’t matter. Torture me, harm me, beat me up, put me in the hospital, it doesn’t matter so long as when I wake up, or am lucky enough to walk away, I can come through that fucking front door to Jungkook.

           “You didn’t say it back,” He teases.

Rolling my eyes dramatically, squirming intentionally in his grasp so that I can lock eyes again, I sigh. “I love you too.”

           “Don’t act like that when you’d do the same to me!” He begins tickling me, and I feel beyond grateful for his duality.

           “Stop it! Stop it! You’re right, okay!”

           Giggling, his “I know,” is coupled with a kiss. He moves swiftly through my laughter to take my bottom lip between his teeth, tongue swiping over the indentations of his teeth before meeting mine. His hands, under my top and massaging my overheating flesh, pull me closer to him. I tug his locks as a moan escapes my lips, swallowed by his own groan as I reach my hand to palm him over his pants.

           “Cricket,” He groans.

           “Bunny,” I reply.

           He pulls away, pushing my torso down onto him, where my hips happily grind against him.

           “Lock and key?” He whispers, eyes refusing to close as he attempts to restrain himself from giving into the feeling of my heated core over his.

           “God we’re that couple now?” I stop my ministrations, staring at his features. How did I get so lucky?

           “Haven’t we always been?” He cocks an eyebrow, and I’m surprised he hasn’t mustered a ‘what’ to accompany the gesture.

           “I guess,” I roll my eyes, which he greets with a thrust of his hips.

           “Lock and key,” He repeats, hand behind my head, holding my gaze to his.

           “You and me,” I answer, the smile on my lips finding his again.

Next: Cricket & OT7

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #313

“i’m your turbo lover  /  tell me there’s no other”

Where are you located at this moment? In my bed. What if you found out your ex was having a child with someone else? If it was Sara, I'm finding out who the fuck I'm flying up there to punch his face in. If it was Jason, I'd either faint or be in the bathroom vomiting. Or both. I can almost promise you at least one or the other while I have an absolute emotional breakdown. I'm not at the point in my recovery where I can hear that and be entirely okay. I'd be happy for any of the others. At what age do you think you'll be ready to have children? Never. When was the last time you couldn't stop laughing? Why? I don't recall. Which of your friends do your parents get along best with? I guess Girt, since he's known my mom the longest of the friends I still have. I don't know about Dad; he barely knows any of my friends seeing as I don't live with him and see him rarely. Is there anyone in your friendship group that your parents don't like? No. Can you recall the last time you were extremely disappointed? I surprisingly can't remember, even though I know it was recent. Who was the last person to un-friend you on Facebook? I don't know, it's not like I go hunting people down if I notice the number has dropped, lol. Do you know why he/she decided to un-friend you? I'm certain it would've been something political. Are there any food wrappings, boxes, containers etc. in your room? No. Do you know anyone who does have cancer? I don't think anyone who currently has it, no. I may know someone via association, but idk. What is the worst medicine you've ever taken? There are two that very strongly stand out: the first one was in middle school, and the second sometime last year. I was put on an antidepressant that made me absolutely love life in the morning, like I would practically prance through school, but come afternoon, I was a fucking demon. Mom took me off that shit so fast. Most recently, my birth control was changed to have more estrogen for some reason I can't recall (maybe it had to do with mood?? idk), and it made me... I'm just gonna say I was a ~mess~. I slammed on breaks with it so fuckin fast. Safe to say I returned to my normal pill. Has your house or where you stayed ever flooded? My childhood home came very close during Hurricane Floyd. Thankfully the water never got actually inside the house, but it was an absolute lake outside. What was the last event or special occasion you participated in? My niece's birthday was actually a couple days ago, so we celebrated at my sister's house. What do you find yourself reminiscing about the most? I'll give you one guess. Do you have a favorite pianist? No. Song you listened to last is...? I have "Turbo Lover" by Judas Priest on right now. What's the last type of cookie you ate? Uhhh I would assume chocolate chip. Do you have your own computer? I have my own laptop, and I'm possibly getting an actual computer come May?? One of my WoW friends knows the hell I've been through with this laptop, and she and her husband are getting new computers then, so she's basically pushed her husband's old one on me, lol. Apparently it works just fine, he just wants something better. I've told her again and again to make some money off of it, but she's pretty much giving me no choice lmao. I appreciate it a whole lot, though. It'd be pretty nice to separate games onto an actual, capable desktop versus making my laptop sound like it's screaming for God's mercy if I boot something up. Describe your computer chair? I don't have one. Well, there's an old one in the extra room I'm going to end up using, but all I know is it's black. I've never paid closer attention to it. Do you sleep with your door open or closed? Open. I feel too isolated with it closed. Are you going to keep your last name when you get married? God no, it's very unlikely. I hate my last name, take it away. Does it bother you when people beg? Why are they begging, and how insistently? It depends. Do you have any weird rings? I have two, but neither I consider weird, at least. Well, I suppose the one with "bitch" carved on the inside would confuse non-Supernatural fans, haha. Are you anything like your siblings? Not really, no. At least, my two immediate sisters. Mom says I'm extremely similar to her eldest daughter though and wishes we'd talk more, but yeah, I just don't have anything to talk about with her. I'm so bad at initiating conversation. When was the last time you shaved your legs? October for when I was doing that witchy photoshoot with a friend. I absolutely hate shaving my legs and pretty much only do if anyone else whose opinion would affect me may see them. What would be the best surprise you could receive right now? Uhhh I guess all the "upgrades" I want to make to Venus' enclosure: a 40g tank and a nice, accurate hygrometer and thermometer, as well as the proper kind of lamp for her. I feel like such a "bad snake mom" still having her in her current terrarium because, while it's perfectly liveable and not dangerous, it's too small for her. It's pretty much always on my mind to some degree nowadays, so just like, dropping the terrarium and extra tools off would be a massive weight off my shoulders. Did you ever skip a grade or get held back a grade? No, but I was able to skip the intro Writing course the last time I was in college; I just started in Writing II. Who took your profile pic? Anywhere where it's a picture of myself, odds are me. I hate getting pictures taken, but if it's gonna happen, it'll be through myself, knowing my "good" angle and such, lol. Have you ever been fishing? Do you know anyone who likes fishing as a hobby? I've been fishing many times, especially as a kid with my dad. There are pleeeenty of people I know who enjoy it. I don't anymore. Do you own any cats? What color are their eyes? Yes; his are a light blue. Is there a rose bush in your garden? What color are its roses? We don't have a garden. When was the last time you spent over $100 in one transaction? What did you buy? Over $100 with my own cash, a plane ticket. My recent tattoo deposit was exactly a hundred. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? Would you judge a grown adult for doing so? No; Roman would NEVER allow me to cuddle anything else, and I am not even remotely kidding. I couldn't care less if any adult does, though. Would you rather read an erotic novel or watch an erotic film? Ew, neither, but I guess a book would be better just so my eyes weren't forever scarred. What’s your favorite way to make your home smell good? Do you spend a lot of money on making this happen? INCENSE!!!! God, I love incense burners. I don't light it anymore though because Venus' terrarium is also in my room, and it's not good for snakes. What are the main two colors in the room you’re currently in? Did you pick these colors out yourself? Just... white. That's it. Well, my furniture is brown. I didn't pick either. How often do you wake up in the night needing to pee? Usually once, sometimes not at all anymore. I guess my bladder actually grew a pair. If you live in a household with pets, who is responsible for their care - both in terms of finance and the physical tasks involved? As far as the physical care, me. Mom does help me do a full clean of Venus' cage sometimes, though, because I don't trust myself to both keep her around my neck while I scrub the tank, hide, bowl, etc., with a cat that is my absolute shadow. I don't want to be bent over the tub and Roman tries to do something; he's shown very little interest in Venus, but still, I'm one hell of a paranoid snake mom that doesn't want to risk her life. Full cleans only happen like twice a year, so I don't mind too much asking my mother for some help. I should point out that Mom doesn't want to hold her, so we can't reverse roles. Do you have anything hanging from your ceiling apart from lights? Not anymore, no. At my old house and the one before, I had lots of Pyramid Head gift tags hanging, but our landlord doesn't want me to do that here. Would you describe yourself as neat, messy or somewhere in-between? I'm in-between. If you have pets, when was the last time one of them needed to go the vets? Venus had to go to the vet about a year into me having her because she was showing symptoms of an RI in strange breathing episodes, which can be fatal to a snake. Thank God, nature, whatever, that she didn't. There were warning signs, but closer watch over her humidity saved her. Roman, meanwhile, was taken to the vet like a year ago to be neutered. When the pandemic is over, what is one thing you can’t wait to do again? I barely ever left the house beforehand, so... I guess go to the movies. What’s one thing (aside from essentials) that you spend the most money on each month? Has anyone ever told you you’re obsessed or addicted with it? N/A What’s your favourite genre of TV show to watch? What’s your favourite show that’s not from that genre? If I had to pick, uhhh... yeah, idk, due to the whole "not into TV much to begin with" thing. Would you rather be employed or self-employed? Why? Self-employed, though taking care of all business matters yourself is/would suck. I just really want to be my own boss for the sake of photographing whatever I want. IIs your hair naturally curly, straight or somewhere in between? Do you wish it was different? It's straight, but on the wavy side, and I wish it wasn't. Do you ever play online games with your friends? Which one(s)? Just WoW. In the last week, have you had any alcoholic beverages? Which? No. Do you ever wear accessories in your hair? Which ones? No. Do you feel free to post your views on social media? Yep. I honestly don't care who it pisses off. What is your favorite work of historical fiction? Well, I don't really know what you consider truly "historical" in age... That, and I'm bad at dates to begin with. There are lots and lots of older books and movies I adore, though. Old Yeller is one of my favorite books ever, for one. The Boy In The Striped Pajamas makes me sob, too. What cartoon character looks like you? I remember when Hotel Transylvania came out, my ex's mob pointed out how much she thought I looked like the daughter, especially when my hair was dyed black. Do you have hope for the future? Some days I do, some days I don't. Do you believe in yourself? Ehhhh... debatable, idk. Do you have trouble letting go of your past? Oh yes. Were you happy in high school? It's funny, I was very depressed in HS, but due to Jason and friends, it's one of my most cherished time periods. Were you ever a teacher's favorite? I mean it modestly, but I was almost always pretty obviously one of the teachers' favorites. I was a good student. Are you popular? I wasn't. If you won a title in the senior class polls, what was it? I didn't. Have you ever had a medical condition that made you unable to work? My social anxiety is so debilitating that it's made it questionable. It ruined my very short-lived previous jobs. What makes your life worth living? My future goals, family, friends... What is your favorite Bible verse? I don't have one. List five careers you've considered. Paleontologist, vet, game designer, author, and wildlife biologist are all past ones. Do you have any unusual talents? If so, what? No. What do you get compliments on? My hair and my art, mostly. What have people told you you should be? I've heard "a vet" most in my life. What is holding you back? My (mostly social) anxiety and extreme fear of judgment. Do you have anyone purely evil in your life? Hell no, I wouldn't allow that person to stay in my life. Have you ever felt threatened for your life? I've felt scared for it, yes. While riding my bike once, I ran into a guy in my old neighborhood who had a criminal history, including assault, just asking what I was listening to on my iPod. I stopped because I was scared to keep going, and he wound up asking for my Facebook, but guess who didn't accept THAT friend request. List ten positive words that describe you. That's too much thinking, man. List ten negative words that [you feel] describe you. And that's too much negativity to fish in. Are you a good person or a bad person? I mean, I try to be a good one. Have you ever contemplated being a bad person? I've done bad things, but I've certainly never deliberated tried to be an overall bad person. Have you ever resorted to vandalism because you didn't have a voice? No. Have you ever egged someone's house? Wow, no. Do you want to egg someone's house? Also no because I'm a fucking adult. Have you ever seen a piece of graffiti that you are thankful for? What an odd question. I mean, no? Name three people who hurt you and didn't care. I am quite positive Colleen doesn't care about the many times she did considering she's always right. Was your first crush sexual, or no? No, I was just a kid. What would you do if you got pregnant right now? I honestly can't say I know. If I was God forbid raped, I'd probably have an abortion because I psychologically could not handle that without being scarred for life. If it was by my own stupidity, I feel I'd probably have the baby but give it up for adoption. I just can't raise a kid. Do you have a medical condition that you are embarrassed or ashamed to tell people you have? No, I don't think so. What do you get asked the most? Hm. OH, WAIT, THAT'S EASY. I get asked a lot if my lip piercing hurt. Have you ever stood up for someone else who was being bullied? I know I have before, but I don't remember the occasion. What tragic news stories that you've heard has touched you the most? Man, that's a lot to think about. You see news articles on Facebook all the time, and a whole lot of them touch me, so I dunno. What is your favorite thing to order at Taco Bell? I like the cheese quesadillas, and whatever those cinnamon bites are called are really good. I'm still tilted they got rid of the fiesta potatoes, because I adored those. Where do you have cutting scars (if you have any)? I only ever had them on my wrist, but you can't see them anymore. Do you like cotton candy? Not very, but I mean, I can have a bite or two. It's way too sweet to eat a lot of it. What's the best piece of graffiti you've ever seen? I'm unsure, but I've definitely seen beautiful work, especially online. Do you like tattoos? "Like" is a colossal understatement. Do you like piercings? Yep yep yep. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? No. Those are not people I hang around with. Who is the last person you slow-danced with? Slow-danced? I don't think I've done that since Jason.

[sherlollydramoine]

Animals Chapter One

Warnings: Smut. Lots of it. Though *GASP* I did manage to write protected sex but not all of it is, also some of the smut is just implied. Language, sex, and adorable fluff all at the same time. I don’t know Rami or anyone associated with him.

HUGE SHOUTOUT TO @r-ahh-mi for her dedication, encouragement, suggestions, and her editing advice.

Word Count: 2770

I know that Rami’s timeline for this may not be entirely accurate, but this is my story and I’ve taken liberties. 

“C’mon babe it’ll be fun! Seriously, there is no privacy for us anywhere and I’m tired of sneaking around just to get an opportunity to give my girl some proper lovin’” he whined, in your ear. “It’s bad enough that neither of us have been able to travel as much since I left for school, and I miss you so fucking much. I  get so much crap from my classmates about how much time I spend thinking about you.”

You were laying down in the backseat of his car, with him still on top of you as you had just finished having some pretty incredible sex. Now he was trying to convince you that both should go on your first random road trip together. Or rather, a spontaneous adventure, as he kept referring to it.

“I don’t know. I have to work and you are only going to be home from school for a very short period of time. Your family misses you a lot and I don’t want to take you away from them more than I already have. I don’t want them to hate me more than I’m sure they already do.”

“Well, that’s up to you. I know you have quite a bit of savings, as do I. Believe it or not, I’ve managed to put away a decent chunk of money, even as a poor college student. Mama taught me how to be frugal. And don’t talk like that because you know for a fact that my family adores you. My brother keeps giving me shit about the fact that we aren’t married yet. He said that he was certain that it would have happened the day you turned eighteen.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that statement because marriage was something that both of you had talked about since you were both sixteen. Both of you were fairly certain that it was an inevitability for you both.

“You know what? We are young, in love, so why the hell not. Let’s do it. I hate my stupid fucking job anyway and there will always be other job opportunities.”

“That’s the spirit! I love you. I’m so happy that you decided to say yes, because I have a few surprises that I had planned, if you had said yes to this.”

“When should we leave?”

“Tonight?” 

“Great, but what time tonight? I get off work at 10, but I don’t want to smell like the diner so I’d want to go home and at least shower first.”

“Since I was going to drop you off at work, I can pick you up and take you home so that you can shower and then we go after that. Does that sound like a plan?”

“Yes. Now come here lover boy. I want you so bad right now. We’ve got time to make up for.”

“Again? Didn’t we just-” you cut him off mid sentence with a kiss. His mouth not putting up much of a fight against yours. Your fingers threading through his wild hair as you pull him closer. 

Your naked bodies already tangled together in the backseat of the car, your hips bucked into his, and you can feel his hardening member against your thigh. He stops momentarily to grab his jeans off the floorboard to grab another condom out of his pocket, and he wastes very little time slipping it on. 

“Mmmm baby.. I want you so fucking bad.” you murmur against his ear.

Your body,so easily turned on by him, was already slick and ready and you couldn’t help the low moan that escapes you as he slides into you. Wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist, you buck your hips in time with his thrusts. 

The only sounds you could hear was the squeaking of the car as it rocked in time with your joint movements, and the quiet moans that you were both letting out.

“Ohhhh. Yes baby… don’t stop…”

“Fuck baby, always so tight for me. I love you. You feel so good. Just.. uhhh.. Fuckkkk.. Yesss..” 

Skin slapping skin as your hips meet in time with each other, your desperation for each growing in this heated moment. Your nails clawing at his back as his thrusts become more frantic in their pace. 

Unable to restrain your pleasure you let it all out with a series of moans as you continued your assault on his back. Your moans only spurred him on further; your bodies slick with sweat, his moans in your ear getting louder.

“Yesss baby…. Godddd… yesss….please don’t stop baby.. Fuckkkk…. I’m so close… So close…. “ you whined in his ear. 

His lips descend on yours for a heated kiss as his hips pounded into yours, working to push you over the edge and into the depths of your orgasm. 

It took a few more thrusts of his hips to get you there, but you came around him with a muffled scream of his name as your nails dig further into his back. You felt his cock twitch and body stiffen, as he followed you into orgasmic bliss. 

His body collapsed on top of yours as you held on to him tightly until you both were recovered enough to finally move again.

“Damn babe. That was hot.” he smiled, your naked bodies still tangled together.

“It always is with you my love.”

“I can feel it now babe, but seriously, I think you fucked up my back. Jesus woman, you are seriously like a fucking cat. I can’t take my shirt off for a while now, or my brother will give me so much shit and the rest of my family will know exactly what the hell we’ve been up to. They know we are together, but I think with them, ignorance is bliss.”

You giggled and could feel yourself turning red with embarrassment. ”I’m sorry my love. I wasn’t even aware that I was doing it, but if it makes you feel better, I won’t walk right for a week.”

The smug look on his face told you that he was content with that knowledge. 

“I wouldn’t worry about your back anyway since we are leaving tonight, so who gives a fuck who sees you with a clawed up back. Maybe I was just marking my territory. Hell, I’ve got enough hickies all over me that I might as well be a walking advertisement for ‘committed relationships,’”you shrug as you both sat up in the back seat and started to re-dress. 

“I hate when our time together comes to an end like this, but I should probably get you home so that you can get ready for work.” 

“Me too. I should just say ‘fuck it’ and just go to work all mussed and smelling like sex,” you giggled again.

“Oh fuck babe, that would be so hot, but no, I promised my brother that we’d go to dinner tonight. He knows how bad I want to see you though so he suggested that we go to your diner for dinner. Their burgers at least are delicious,” he smiled into your hair.

“I love you so much Rami. I swear you are the best and bless your brother for giving up some of his precious little time with you just for us. Maybe I fell in love with the wrong twin,” you tease, laughing at the mock hurt on his face.

“How dare you!” he gasps in shock as he dramatically places his hand over his heart.

“Oh you!” you poke him in his stomach and he yelps. “Always so freaking dramatic…”

“I’m an actor, that’s what I’m supposed to do. Ya know? Be dramatic!” he exclaimed.

You roll your eyes at him,”You’ve always been a dramatic ass bitch, but it’s alright, I still love you anyway.” 

“Ugh.” he dramatically sighed.

“Seriously? The dramatics again.”

His laugh was loud as he playfully shoved you before he opened the back door of the car and climbed out, stretching his body. God you almost started drooling watching his muscles flex and move as he stretched.. His shirt riding up on his stomach just a little bit, and for some reason you had to resist the urge to bite it. Next time, you are definitely going to leave a little mark there, right above the ‘v’ of his delicious hips. Leave your mark on him, like staking a claim, a little something that temporarily marks him as yours.

You followed his lead and exited the back of the car, smoothing your dress down over your hips before leaning against the drivers side door waiting for him to wander his way back to you. Once he was in front of you, you throw your arms around his neck and give him a sweet chaste kiss. 

“I love you so damn much. How the hell did I get so damn lucky?” you smiled, tears filling your eyes from all of the random emotions swirling around inside of you.

“Aw baby don’t cry. I love you too! Don’t doubt yourself love, because I’m the lucky one. The luckiest man alive because I have you,” he reassured as you sniffled into his chest. 

“No way. Me. I’m… I’m.. I’m.. just.. I’m so plain,” You gestured to your body as if to demonstrate your point.

“Excuse me. No. I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you. I see a beautiful woman with the kindest eyes, beautiful hair, and a generous heart. I’m the lucky one because have you seen me? The guy with big eyes that looks so different from the majority of my peers.” He tried echoing your earlier movements.

“No! Don’t you ever say that!” you yelled. “You’re eyes are so expressive and gorgeous. I’ve known you forever and I still can’t figure out exactly what fucking color they are. They are… I call them ‘ocean eyes’ because they are ever changing from green to blue to sometimes gray. You are so talented and anyone that doesn’t see how talented you are is a fucking loser. And you will be successful no matter what because you want it, your live it, you fight for it. You are the love of my life, and I will stand behind you and support you no matter what!” You said holding him a little tighter now, because you know how insecure he can be about the way he looks.

“Oh babe. Look at us, arguing over our looks. If anyone overheard this conversation they would think we are the two most shallow individuals on the planet,” he laughs, trying to lighten the mood.

“Rami, this is fucking LA, ninety-eight percent of the population is made up of a bunch of shallow assholes. So for someone to overhear a conversation about our looks would just think we are another bunch of wannabe somethings.”

He let out another bark of laughter before he kisses your forehead. 

“Okay, we need to get going now or both of us are going to be late.”

It was your turn to laugh again before you pointed out the fact that his name should actually be Rami Late-For-Everything Malek. To which he actually just flipped you the bird and that made you laugh so much harder than you already were. That was your Rami; playful and fun, sarcastic and just.. he was always making you laugh.

Sighing you climb into the passenger seat and buckle up. He puts the car in drive and cranks the radio up. You both sing along loudly and off-key to nearly every song that came on. Time seemed to pass by all too quickly and before you knew it, you were outside your house. You lean over to give him a not so chaste kiss, pulling away all too quickly. 

“I’ll see you in a few hours baby. Oh, I forgot to tell you, bring your birth certificate and passport with you, just in case we decide to do something reckless on our little trip,” he smiled conspiratorially at you before giving you a wink. He can’t wink for shit, but it's adorable watching him try. 

Confusion racking your brain, but not questioning his motives, you shut the door, and watch him drive away. Feeling like you were floating on air, you nearly dance your way into the house that you share with your parents and begin packing for your trip. 

You decide to pack fairly light, even though you have no clue how long this trip is going to last for and you grab the documents that he requested that you bring with you, putting them in a plastic Ziploc bag, and shoving them into your backpack. 

You decided to lay down for about an hour to take a small nap before work; your body a little tired from the vigorous activities earlier this afternoon. Waking with your alarm, you get up and take a quick shower. Then you get dressed in your ugly work uniform, grab your bags and head out the door as you stood at the end of your driveway waiting for Rami to show. He’s a little late like always so your mind wanders back to what he had said earlier. What could he possibly mean by ‘if we decide to do something reckless’? 

The thoughts roll around in your brain- you must have looked like an idiot standing there lost in thought that you barely registered that he had pulled up. 

“Yoooo babe!!!” he hollered out the window which snapped you out of your thoughts. 

“Sorry, I’m comin!” you holler back. “Oh pop the trunk I’m going to throw my shit in there.”

He does as you ask and you toss your backpack and small duffle bag into the trunk of his car and you notice that he has several bags already in there, including what looked like a garment bag.

“Hey Sami!” you smile, as you climb into the backseat. You hadn’t even realized that his brother was in the car with him when he pulled up.

“Hey Y/N. How’ve you been?” he asks, a small smile on his face. 

“Great, but you don’t have to ask, I just saw you last week before Rami came home. So compared to how I was last week I am doing so much better. Happier. Ugh babe, I can’t believe the seat isn’t dry yet. Jesus it’s had a few hours to bake in the sun and it’s still wet. Now my ass is going to be all wet when I get to work.”

Sami nearly spit his water all over the dash as his brother was now speeding down the highway towards your place of work; Rami just wore a smirk.

“You two are fucking disgusting. Animals.” Sami grumbles.

“That we are Sami-cakes, but the sex is always worth it,” you managed to get out between fits of giggles.

“Dude, she just called me ‘Sami-cakes’ like.. Seriously?”

“She calls me Rami-cakes, so Sam that just means that she likes you. She did tell me earlier that she thinks perhaps she fell in love with the wrong twin.”

The twins laughter rang through the car against the noise of traffic. 

“So what the hell did you two do while I wasn’t around? 

“The same thing we always do, just bro stuff.” Rami replied.

“Oh. I took a nap, because dealing with people gets irritating, and it’s even worse when I’m tired. I also think that my body needed a rest after the vigorous activities from earlier.” 

“Awwww I wore you out.” 

“Ewwww.. I don’t need to hear this,” Sami smirked, while plugging his ears.

“Don’t worry ya prude, your brother gave it to me good, more than once. Good lord his stamina and recovery time is the stuff of legends.” you state as Sami just made gagging noises.

“That’s on a need to know basis, and I DO NOT need to know this.”

All too soon the car pulled up to the diner that you worked in, and you said your goodbyes to the twins, kissed your boyfriend not so chastely in front of his brother who just let out another series of gagging noise which caused you to have another fit of giggles.

“Before you go love, I just wanted to tell you again how much I fucking love you, and I’m glad you’re home even if it’s just for a brief period of time.”

“I know. I love you too, but I gotta go before I make you late, or my brother causes me physical harm, whichever comes first.”

tags: @warmommy @xmxisxforxmaybe @free-rami @mrhoemazzello @spacedustmazzello @itsme690 @ramimedley @safinsscar @ladyr0b0t @youthtea @ramisgirl512 @hissom1933 @sassystrawberryk @ramimalekpan @breadnbutternips @doing-all-write @itslula1991 @sasha--1996 @imnottiredofgettingoveryou @alottanothing @mezzomercury @theultraviolencefan @the-real-ramimalekpeen @sasha--1996 @hazeleyedbeth @txmel @w0lfglrl17​ @adoremalek​ @angeleyesmalek​ @rawmemalek​ @lunasasylum​ @lablanchett​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​

[dessiekarma]

My Harem is Entirely Bad Boy Types (Kirisaki Daiichi x Reader) Pt. 1

Chapter 1: I’m Finally an Anime Protagonist!

“Please (Y/N)! I promise I’ll pick him up from your house after practice and keep him for tonight…for the whole weekend!” Hara said, practically on his knees.

 (Y/N) turned her head away stubbornly and held the bundle in her arms tighter. She made no move to get up from the bleachers.

 “You said that last time and never showed! He’s our responsibility and you need to do your share of the work!”

 “I will I promise, just not right now!”

 “Hanamiya is going to be here any minute. If you don’t get her out of here he’s going to be upset. You know he’s been a bitch ever since we lost to Seirin.” Furuhashi said glancing at the time on his phone.

 “He’s always been a bitch! And he’s gonna take it out on me.” Turning to (Y/N) the young man pressed his hands together pleadingly. “Look you can bring him to my house and I’ll take him or better yet wait for me outside and just pass him off to me when I’m out of practice. From there I’ll deal with him.”

 “DEAL with? You mean take care of! And why, so you can sneak out a different way and leave me waiting with a baby outside the gym? I don’t think so!”

 “If I let you stay my captain is gonna be so pissed off and I am not running suicides because of you!”

 “Your captain can kiss my ass!”

 “Ahh you can’t say things like that! Look you’re a new transfer so I get it, you don’t know Hanamiya but I’m warning you you’re gonna leave here in tears.”

 “And you are too if you don’t help me with this kid!”

 “Oh my god stop yelling.” Seto drawled sitting up from one of the back bleachers. “Why don’t you just take the damn thing and go home for today? Then you don’t have to worry about the captain meeting your girlfriend.”

 “She’s not my girlfriend! Besides he’ll be pissed if I bail on practice!”

 “But is that worse than the possibility of your girlfriend telling him to fuck off?”

 “I think Seto has a point.” Yamazaki said bouncing the ball against the gym wall. “Tell Caps you got sick or something.”

 “I guess. Will that satisfy you? I have to miss my practice to help.” Hara asked frowning at the girl who only huffed in annoyance.

 “Oh you have such a sad story to tell. I’m sacrificing too here! Do you know how much he cries!? I’ve missed countless episodes of new anime!”

 “You’re comparing sports to anime? I have to practice to get better, you can just watch the same episode the next day!”

 “Ummm and risk spoilers?”

 “You’re such a spoiled brat! I don-”

 “Why haven’t you guys started?” A deep voice rang through the gym. Everyone turned their heads to see their captain stroll in tossing his bag onto the floor.

 It wasn’t long until olive eyes spotted the unfamiliar face in the room. (E/C) eyes met his unblinking and a small stare off began. Hanamiya rose a brow at this poor lost soul that wondered into his gym.

 “Who the hell are you?”

 “You look…” (Y/N) began, still staring.

 “Please don’t.” Hara whispered knowing this wasn’t going to end well.

 The black-haired male had to stifle a blush from how intently the girl was staring at him. Thankfully a scowl covered that just fine.

 “Here, hold my baby.” The young woman said shoving the blanket at Yamazaki. Reaching out her phone she quickly typed something in before holding up an image of some anime character,

 “You look just like Kiyoshi Fujino from Prison School! Only meaner! Seriously you have the lock of hair between your eyes and everything!” The girl finally blurted out with an overly enthusiastic smile.

 Hanamiya didn’t know what to say. Something was clearly wrong with her, to talk to him so comfortably. With a click of the tongue he marched up to her, placed his hand on her head and turned her back towards his team.

 “Okay who’s is this and what the hell is it doing in my gym?” Hanamiya said with his finger poking directly into her cheek.

 Everyone stayed quiet, though Yamazaki attempted to pass what he was holding to Seto who shoved it right back. A small game of hot potato quickly ensued before piercing cries filled the gym. If the fires of hell weren’t in Hanamiya’s eyes before they were sure burning now.

 “Whose baby is that? What the hell is going on in here? I was only five minutes late!”

 Somehow the screaming baby ended up in Hara’s hands as he tried to rock it back and forth to stop the crying.

 “If I don’t get an answer everyone is doing suicides until midnight.”

 And just like that everyone, including the unknown girl, broke out in explanation at once. Some were making hand gestures while others added sound effects and mimics to drive their points home. However not a single point was reaching Hanamiya’s ears in the jumble of voices.

 “Oh my god its like having a gym full of children. One at a TIME!” This silenced everyone.

 Furuhashi being the most level headed and with the calmest voice decided it be best if he explained lest the whole team suffer. He cleared his throat before beginning.

 “The baby is Hara’s and that girl’s. He brought her here and the rest of us have nothing to do with it.”

 “What!” Hara shouted only causing the baby to scream again at the loud sound.

 The captain tried taking that information in and it was surprisingly more difficult than he imagined. Looking down at the girl whose head was still in the palm of his hand he looked back at Hara and then back again. Sizing her up he directed his next words to her.

 “You let HIM do you? Pfft have some self-respect.”

 “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Hara exclaimed not expecting this interaction to go down this way.

 “Ahh no! It’s not like that.” (Y/N) began explaining, however Hanamiya already released her and was walking over to Hara.

 Hooking a finger into the fold of the blanket he pulled it down so he could see the baby’s face. The moment it was revealed he didn’t know whether to laugh or just be more confused.

 “What the hell? This is a doll!” Hanamiya said with an amused tone. “I knew you couldn’t pull her.” With that he flicked the doll on the cheek only for it to begin screeching again.

 “Hey! This thing records mishandling actions!”

 “Don’t call him a thing!”

 “Okay enough with the misleading conversations, Hara what the hell is happening?”

 “Well (Y/N) is in my health committee and we got paired up. The supervising teacher saw it in some American movie and now we’re stuck with this dumb assignment for the semester. It tracks everything and needs to be fed, burped, changed its honestly like a real baby and its ruining my life!”

 “Ruining your life? Why don’t you tell your captain why I’m here?!”

 “She says I n-”

 “I’ll tell you why I’m here! We’ve had this baby for an entire week and he hasn’t been helping me at all!”

 “That’s not true!”

 “Yes, it is! The only time you lift a finger is when the teacher is around! But other than that you leave him with me the rest of the day and night. You never ask if we can watch him together or if I need a break and offer to take him. No, you just assume that I’ll pull your weight with this project.”

 “Well you are a girl. Isn’t this more natural for you? I mean that’s like your Main purpose in life.”

 “You sexist piece of shit!”

 “Listen! As much as I don’t care, why the hell do you think sticking around here is going to help him take responsibility.” Hanamiya asked looking a little creeped out at the life like doll.

 “Because I know you can’t change some people through kindness…but you can make their lives the eighth circle of hell until you get what you want.” (Y/N) replied with a pout directed at the clearly unhappy Hara.

 Hanamiya was dead silent before nodding.

 “Alright she can stay.”

 “Excuse me!?”

 “Come on Hara how can you possibly abandon the mother of your child?” Hanamiya said snatching the baby away from him and cradling it. “Have some sympathy for a single mother!”

 “We literally break people’s legs!”

 “But not young girls’ hearts!” Hanamiya mocked, sticking his tongue out at the male.

 “Whatever happened to ‘don’t do anything I wouldn’t do’?”

 “Well I would never leave a girl alone to care for my baby. My mama didn’t raise a deadbeat. A fucking psycho asshole, maybe, but no deadbeat.”

 “This is bullshit! You just want to watch me suffer!”

 “Yes! And as much as I want to torture Hara I don’t want this to backfire on myself. So keep that thing from crying, don’t be loud yourself, I don’t babysit, and lastly…”

 Hanamiya looked back at the bleachers to see (Y/N)’s bag sitting there. Anime keychains dangled from every zipper along with patches of favourite characters sewn into the fabric. “You’re an otaku?”

 (Y/N) nodded.

 “Don’t ship any of us or your ass is out of here. Understood?”

 “Perfectly!”

 Hanamiya handed the baby to her before holding his hands out for Yamazaki to throw him the ball. Catching it quickly he motioned for his team to get on the court. Dribbling the ball slowly he turned to (Y/N) once more.

 “By the way did you give it a name?” The male said nodding to the baby.

 “Makoto. But I just call him Mako.”

 “Swimming anime, right?”

 “Why do you know that?” Yamazaki called out but was ignored by his captain.

 “I didn’t name him, Hara did.”

 “Oh…really?”

 “Yeah I said I wanted to give him a cute name and he chose that.”

 “uhhh…”

 “Is something wrong?”

 “That’s…uh… my name.”

 The team heard the exchange and were stifling laughter while Hara looked like he literally wanted to dissolve into the floor.

 “…We aren’t off to a great start with that no shipping rule.”

~~~~~~~

 “How come he never cries with you?!” Hara whisper yelled at his napping teammate. Seto patted the mechanical child laying on his chest and shrugged.

 “Its always asleep when I have it. If you want it to cry I can try to make a basket with him?”

 “Yes!” Yamazaki said perking up from his spot on the bleachers.

 “NO! That witch will string me up to the basketball net if you tried.” Hara mumbled.

 “Witch? You should be lucky you got someone tolerant enough to put up with your shit!” (Y/N) says sneaking up behind Hara and poking her fingers into his sides. “I should have gotten a hot and sweet guy to be partnered with, but I’m stuck with you.”

 The boy jumped but regained himself fast enough to deliver a smack to the girl’s forehead.

 “I’ll have you know girls think I’m extremely handsome.”

 “Your mama doesn’t count.” Hanamiya said while tying his shoes.

 “No but yours does.” Hara quipped not missing the finger Hanamiya threw him. Turning back to (Y/N) he saw her giggling before a thought seemed to pop in her head.

 “You know, I joke but I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen your entire face. What do you guys think?”

 The other five players looked at each other in bewilderment.

 “I can’t say I’ve seen more than this. Any of you?” Furuhashi asked to which he was met with silence.

 “Hey pin your bangs back.” Hanamiya said sitting up straighter and leaning closer.

 “No way! Let’s just drop it.”

 “It’s just your eyes, what are you hiding?” Furuhashi asked curiously.

 “Do you have a lazy eye?” Seto asked seriously.

 “No!”

 “Heterochromia?” Furuhashi asked after thinking for a bit.

 “Come on guys…”

 “Leave him alone, maybe he has super thick eyebrows or something.” Yamazaki said cooly as if he didn’t care about the matter at all.

 “What’s wrong with thick eyebrows?” Hanamiya glared back slowly.

 “Nothing!”

 “NO its nothing like that.”

 “So what’s the reason? Are you a cyclops?” Hanamiya asked taking the baby from Seto out of boredom and bouncing it in his lap.

 “Leave me alooone!”

 “Oof, do you have scars?” (Y/N) asked with an otaku twinkle in her eyes and a sultry dip in her voice.

 “What the fuck? Are you into that? Anyway who cares?” Hara mumbled with his arms crossed.

 “Please! We have a child together and I’ve never even seen your face.” (Y/N) said tugging on his arm.

 “Fine, I’ll show you my eyes and you show me your tits. We do have a child together after all.” Hara said with a nasty smirk on his face that faltered when he saw the girl place a hand to her lips in contemplation.

 “Is she seriously thinking about it!?” Yamazaki exclaimed on behalf of the whole team.

 “I wanna see too.” Furuhashi remarked taking a step closer.

 “His eyes or her chest?” Seto asked suddenly a little more awake.

 “Yes.”

 “Nah I’ll save the flashing for a bigger, better exchange.” (Y/N) said shrugging and taking a seat.

 “So that possibility is still on the table?” Hanamiya asked half joking and half legitimately curious.

 “Surprisingly you managed to bring a girl of interest into this gym, unlike the last one Yamazaki brought in.” Furuhashi remarked to Hara.

 “Hey, I never asked her to come to my practices.” The accused male spoke out with a pout.

 As if suddenly remembering something Hara perks up and turns to the girl.

 “By the way I’ve been meaning to ask why do you keep coming to all of our practices? I thought the whole point was you wanting a break? You’ve been here every day this we-”

 “Did you read that Attack on Titan chapter?” Hanamiya asked suddenly sitting one row above the pair.

 “Of course!” (Y/N) said suddenly putting all her attention on him. It would seem that the two had managed to find a common interest. Hanamiya wasn’t a superfan like her but he appreciated the story.

 “That was a pretty brutal way to go. I thi-”

 “Ahh spoilers!” Yamazaki said clasping his hands over his ears.

 “Read the manga!” Both Hanamiya and (Y/N) shouted out exasperatedly.

 “Oh by the way I brought more sports drinks for you guys.” (Y/N) said digging through her bag producing small bottles along with some snacks. “Furu you said you preferred pears to protein bars right? Seto, I found these coffee flavored protein bars. Hanamiya you didn’t tell me what you like, so choose anything! A pack of gum for Hara and Zaki you’re usually hungry so I brought you a few snacks to choose from.”

 “Ahh you’re the best! I knew Hanamiya made a good choice asking you to stick around.” Yamazaki said reaching for a drink only to stop and cringe at his rambling.

 “You asked (Y/N) to stay?” Hara asked with surprise. “I didn’t think you’d ever actually go and recruit us a manager.”

 “He didn’t ask me to be your manager. More like told me that for being a nuisance the least I could do was help out a bit. I just bring you guys food and run a few errands.”

 “Yeah I mean if she’s already here cause of Mako why not make her more useful?” The captain said with a shrug.

 “It would give me something to do while I’m here an-” (Y/N) stopped as her phone chirped in her pocket. She quickly pulled it out and held a finger up as if to say give her a moment. “Hey lov- Oh I’m just here at practice…umm sure.”

 Placing a hand over the receiver she whispered to the team.

 “I’ll be right back.”

 The guys watched her walk out hearing her conversation fade away.

 “Hey, what can you tell me about (Y/N)?” Yamazaki asked quickly as if it was on the tip of his tongue for a while.

 “What do you mean?” Hara asked skeptically.

 “I mean you don’t mind if I go for her? This whole baby momma thing is just an assignment, right?”

 “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Furuhashi spoke up.

 “What? Why not?”

 “If she’s going to be around for a while dating her may make things awkward.”

 “How!?”

 “Well one nobody wants to see you two making out in here.” Seto stated lazily.

 “And if it doesn’t work out it will cause a bunch of tension. Don’t you think so Hanamiya?” Furuhashi said looking to his captain for approval.

 Hanamiya lifted his hands in a questioning manner.

 “I don’t really care who you do or date. If things get awkward you can both jus-”

 “Umm hey Hara I’ll take Mako back home with me, something came up.” (Y/N) said having jogged back into the gym. Her face appeared a bit flushed as she held her arms out for the baby.

 “You aren’t staying today?” Yamazaki asked placing a hand on her shoulder.

 “No I really need to go.”

 “Well is it an emergency? I don’t like people skipping out on practice.” Hanamiya said shooting her a challenging look. Surprisingly she simply shook her head.

 “I’m sorry but missing one day won’t hurt, right?”

 “Hey, if its an emergency I can call my driver to take you home.” Seto offered.

 “No, I already called my own and he’s coming to get me. Thanks guys!” (Y/N) finally gathered all of her things along with Mako and headed for the exit.

 “Practice starts at the same time tomorrow!” Hanamiya called out to her only her to continue walking as if she hadn’t heard him.

 “What was up with that?” Yamazaki asked with concern laced in his voice.

 “Time of the month maybe?” Hara asked with a shrug.

 “Are you sure it wasn’t serious she left right after that phone call.” Yamazaki pressed on.

 “It’s probably nothing let’s practice.” Hara said standing up and taking a ball out onto the court.

 When nobody moved for a second Hara sighed in frustration.

 “If it was anything serious she wouldn’t have come back in to get Mako. There was probably some anime update or a sale on merch a friend told her about. She’ll be back tomorrow I guarantee you.”

~~~~~

 “It’s been a week and a half. ‘She’ll be back tomorrow.’” Yamazaki mocked Hara as he chased a cherry tomato out of his salad.

 “You’re just mad because you couldn’t ask her out before she ran off.” Hara said rolling his eyes though no one could tell.

 “Wait is that why she left!? Do you think she heard me talking about her and it scared her off?!”

 “I don’t think that’s the case. She’s been ignoring me in class too if it makes you feel any better.” The violet haired teen said sipping from a soda can.

 “That’s actually worse.” Hanamiya spoke absentmindedly drumming his fingers on the table.

 “Who cares? If she doesn’t want to come around then what’s the big deal? She’s making it easier on me to pass this dumbass class project and she didn’t do much for the team. Or were you planning on asking her out too?” Hara directed the question at Hanamiya.

 “What?! No way I called dibs!” The tomato went shooting across the room.

 “’Dibs’. What are we 11 years old?” Furuhashi deadpanned.

 “No, I wasn’t going to ask her out. But when I invite someone into my gym I expect them to be there until I tell them they can leave. You have no clue what’s up with her?”

 “None, maybe she just doesn’t want to be around us. It wouldn’t be the first time and I give her props for lasting so long.”

 “Instead of speculating we can just ask.” Seto offered lifting his head up from the table.

 “I’ve tried she won’t talk to me in class unless its about Mako.”

 “Ask her now. She always hangs out in one of the choir practice rooms during lunch.”

 “How do you know?” Hanamiya lifted a brow at his teammate. Seto looked up at the ceiling for a bit as if mulling over an answer.

 “I don’t know she mentioned it once, I think. Look we can ask and if you don’t like what she has to say at least you have an answer.”

 “Fine lets go.”

 “So what? Five of us are just going to gang up on one girl?” Furuhashi asked wearily. “If she gets scared this could blow up in our faces.”

 “We’re just talking. What’s she going to do call the police?”

 “I’m just saying coming on too strong is going to freak her out.”

 “Well then I’ll talk to her and you guys can hang out in the hall until I clear you!” Yamazaki suggested.

 “That’s actually not a stupid idea but we’re sending Hara.” Hanamiya said thinking it over quickly.

 “Why?!” Both boys exclaimed.

 “(Y/N)’s known Hara longer she’s probably most comfortable around him. Besides he’s the only one of us who would have a reason outside of basketball to talk to her.”

 “No! I’m not begging her to come back!” Hara mumbled.

 “You’re not begging just questioning.” Furuhashi said packing up his lunch box. “If we’re going to catch her we need to leave now.”

 Hara groaned but reluctantly followed his teammates across the campus.

 “So what does she do in the practice room?” Yamazaki asked Seto trying to acquire as much info on her as he could. The tan male pulled his backpack higher up on his back and shrugged uncomfortably.

 “She just screws around on the piano and sings. She’s pretty good.”

 “You’ve heard her sing!? How?! We’ve only known her for a few weeks!” The questioning male pouted slightly.

 “Yeah she gets to basketball practice pretty early and she’s always singing anime openings. I think she figures I’m sleeping or something.”

 “Well now I have to hear her too!”

 “You might get your chance.” Hanamiya mumbled motioning his head to the slightly ajar practice room.

 All five males crowded the door way and peered inside. (Y/N) was sitting in front of the piano with a large pair of earphones on. She appeared to be bopping her head to the music and fiddled around with the piano trying to get a tune just right

 “Okay so do I just wait for her to come out or go in and say I need to talk t-”

 Suddenly the girl found the right keys and caught the boys’ attention as she played a repetitive little tune.

 “That sounds kind of familiar?” Hanamiya questioned racking his brain for where he’d heard the tune. Hara scoffed and crossed his arms.

 “Knowing her otaku ass, it’s probably some anime ope-”

 “His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.

There’s vomit on sweater already, mom’s spaghetti.”

 The guys had no reaction to their newly acquired half teammate suddenly busting out into a full-blown rap song.

 “You better lose yourself in the music, the moment.

You own it, you better never let it go.

You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow.

This opportunity comes once in a lifetime!”

 “She’s good and at the same time I feel like this is really wrong.” Yamazaki said with his jaw still slack.

 “Thank you. And it probably feels wrong because you’re spying on me.” The girl at the piano suddenly said as she completed her verse.

 Taking off her earphones she turned to the door with a clear look of frustration. It was only then that Hanamiya felt truly stupid when he realized her earphones hadn’t been plugged into anything.

 “I told the guys you were a pretty good singer, I didn’t realize you were a decent rapper too.” Seto tried to compliment the girl hoping to smooth things over.

 He saw her cheeks flush a deep red but her angry face didn’t soften one bit. Looking away she attempted to move around the group of boys.

 “Thanks. My next class starts in like ten minutes I need to go.”

 “No you don’t.” Hanamiya said grabbing her arm and yanking her back. “We didn’t come all the way down here for you to not talk to us.”

 “What’s there to talk about?”

 “You stopped coming to practice.”

 “I decided it was too hard to take Mako back and forth so it’s easier if I just keep him.”

 “See I told you!” Hara said throwing his hands up in the air. “She doesn’t want to be here so let’s ju-”

 “Now why do I think that’s the most bullshit excuse I’ve ever heard? Oh right because not too long ago I find you in my gym being a fucking crybaby about pulling Hara’s weight, now suddenly you’re saying its easier to do the exact opposite?” The dark-haired male hovered over (Y/N) threateningly.

 “So what if I’m lying or not? I don’t want to go.”

 “Also bullshit because you told me that you loved coming to practice. And see the thing is Kirisaki Daiichi basketball has one big rule; once you’re in you’re not out until you graduate or get kicked out.”

 “Look guys its nothing personal I just can’t be around you.”

 “No come on! Don’t pay attention to the scare tactics just be honest.” Yamazaki said stepping forward. “Are you scared? Is it eating too much time?”

 (Y/N)’s eyes finally softened before she let out a disheartening sigh.

 “It’s my boyfriend.”

 “You have a boyfriend?” Yamazaki asked shocked and slightly disappointed.

 “He says he’s just not comfortable with me being around the team so much.”

 “So what you just do whatever he says?” Seto asked bewildered, (Y/N) didn’t seem like the type

to let someone walk all over her.

 “No but we’ve been together for a long time and he sort of gave me an ultimatum either I stop

hanging around you guys or he would break up with me. And I know how stupid and controlling

that sounds but he honestly just cares.”

 “Well what class does he have right now we can go talk him into letting you do what the hell

you want.” Furuhashi said in a clipped voice.

 “He goes to my old school, Tōō. You might know him, he’s on the basketball team.”

 Hanamiya was sure he misheard. A basketball player from Tōō who didn’t want (Y/N) around

him. The whole ‘I’ll break up with you’ mind game made perfect sense now.

 “I guess that’s it then we might as well leave.” Hanamiya said with a shrug and began walking

away.

 “What? You dragged my ass clear across the school and we’re just leaving?” Hara said looking

100% done with the entire situation.

 “You heard what she had to say. I don’t want someone’s doormat associated with the team.”

 “I’m nobody’s doormat.”

 “Your boyfriend told you who you could and couldn’t hang around with and you jumped at the

snap of his fingers. Don’t kid yourself.”

 “This is one thing. He’s never asked for something like this before. He’s a level-headed calm

cool guy. Sure maybe this is some dark jealous side to him but I can respect him enough to hear

him out.”

 “Well you heard him out and what did he say? That we’re dangerous? Have we hurt you in any

way?”

 “…No.”

 “Then use your own fuckin brain to think for yourself. He says we’re dangerous but you

know we aren’t. Doesn’t your experience mean more than his assumption?” Hanamiya smirked

at the girl knowing she would have nothing else to say.

 “If you like spending time with us just tell him that! You’re allowed to have guy friends and now

that we know you have a boyfriend, we won’t make any moves on you.” The orange haired

teammate said with a friendly smile.

 “I don’t know, Zaki.”

 “Come on, he isn’t actually going to break up with you. If anything, he’ll be glad you stood up

for yourself.” Hanamiya said urging her on.

 (Y/N) looked around at the guys questioningly before nodding. She had bailed on them without

notice and it hadn’t been sitting right in her stomach that her boyfriend asked her to not be

friends with the team. She’d heard horror stories and knew that their personalities were

difficult. But so was Aomine’s and her boyfriend seemed to tolerate him just fine.

 “You’re all right. I’m going to call him right now and tell him that I’m staying part of the

basketball team or hanging out, whatever the hell I was doing before. Excuse me for a moment.”

The girl said as she walked into a nearby room with her phone already dialed.

 Hanamiya let out a chuckle followed by a content hum before walking towards the exit.

 “You aren’t going to wait for her?” Hara asked skeptically.

 “No, why would I?” A familiar tone echoed from the captain’s mouth.

 “You’re not actually letting her back on the team, are you?” Furuhashi asked though his tone sounded as if he already knew the answer.

 “Seriously? All these mind games got me fucked up here. Do we want her back or not?” Hara asked smoothing his fringe down.

 “Of course not. Maybe before she pulled this weak ass shit on me, I would have considered keeping her around but now? She’s dead to me.”

 “Come on, dead to you? Seriously?” Seto asked with his hand up in a questioning manner. Leaning over to Hanamiya he whispered to him, “Didn’t you want to ask her to be our manager or something? We actually really need one of those.”

 “Yeah and? We’ll find another, dumb girls like her are a dime a dozen at this school.”

 “You’re not really going to do that to her, are you?” Yamazaki asked with wide eyes.

 “Why not? She’s flaked on us once. Turn your back on me and I turn my back on you. She will end up leaving again when her stupid boyfriend asks, so why give her that chance?”

 “So, now I have no boyfriend and no team.” A cracked voice came from behind the group of boys. The tears running down her face had clearly already been there prior but there was no doubt that they were building more so now. “You’re right though. Sorry for wasting you guys’ time.”

 (Y/N) wiped her eyes, walked up to a locker to retrieve her bag before powerwalking out the music building.

 “I kinda feel like an asshole.” Seto said watching as the girl disappeared before something in the practice room caught his attention.

 “Yeah that’s probably not a new feeling.” Hara said not sure what else to do in this situation.

 “Wow this was a MAJOR dick move.” Yamazaki cringed to himself.

 “I didn’t think Imayoshi would actually break up with her.” Furuhashi said a little stunned as well.

 Hanamiya had an unreadable expression on his face. Almost as if he’d expected everything yet was still thrown off. The team saw him close his eyes and run a hand through his hair.

 “Shiiiit.”

 “To make matters worse, she left Mako in the practice room. I should probably go give him ba-”

 Before Seto could finish or Hara could take the baby, Hanamiya scooped him up and started sprinting outside.

 “Do you think he’s going to apologize?” Seto asked uncertainly.

 “I doubt it but I won’t risk missing it on the off chance he does.” Furuhashi said taking off just as quickly.

 The rest of the team followed.

 Outside Hanamiya saw the wind blowing through the many cherry blossom trees this bougie ass school had planted all over the ground. Pink petals drifted down slowly but through it he could see (Y/N) sitting on a bench not too far away.

 As he drew closer he slowed his steps. (Y/N) seemed to notice him but had no reaction.

 “You forgot Mako.” Hanamiya said handing him to her, which she willingly took.

 “Thanks.”

 The wind was the only sound between the pair for a few tense seconds.

 “I didn’t think your boyfriend was going to break up with you. I didn’t think you’d let him, I assumed you were just gonna do whatever he asked.”

 “The funny thing is that neither did I. We’d only been dating a little while, but I thought we were perfect for each other. I didn’t think something like this would be what ended it. I mean I never get jealous. You should see the girl on Tōō’s team. She’s smart, gorgeous, killer figure and friendly but I never said a single thing because I trust him but I guess he doesn’t trust me. I mean it’s not like I’m on a team with Kise Ryouta.”

 “You’re saying none of us are as good looking as Kise?” Hanamiya asked with a straight face which caused (Y/N) to actually crack a smile.

 “You know what I mean. I thought he was my forever. It just wasn’t supposed to be this way.”

 “Yeah well it is this way so suck it up and move on. I wanted you as manager because I you seemed stronger than this.”

 “But you said-”

 “I was obviously joking. I thought you had a pretty thick skin when I first met you, don’t tell me you’re secretly a wuss.”

 “I’m not. It’s just, I guess after what happened with-”

 “Get up and get over it. I’m sure you’ll get over your shitty highschool boyfriend.”

 (Y/N) was standing in front of Hanamiya finally looking at him with dry eyes.

 “I won’t baby you and neither will anyone else. You need to be as strong as any of the guys. I won’t have people talking shit about anyone on my team.”

 “On the team? Really?”

 “Don’t get sentimental on me either. We need a manager. You’ve dealt with all the shitty paperwork for the school and logging practice hours with the least annoying side effects. Plus, we just unintentionally talked you into ending a long-term relationship, you can’t find that kind of gullible-”

 “I’m not gullible!”

 “Okay whatever. Point is you’re easy.” Seeing a heated look rise in her face Hanamiya backtracked just a bit. “Not what I meant. Look you’re an easy person to be around, we don’t find many people that are compatible with us on your level. But if you become inconvenient or start stressing me out there’s no reason to keep you around got it?”

 “You’re an ass but yeah I do.”

 “I know and good.”

 (Y/N) smiled at her new captain and he stared down at her with his usual hard cold eyes. The corner of his mouth twitched softly before a gentle breeze blew several pink petals into his face.

 “What fresh hell is this?” Hanamiya grumbled spitting away the petal stuck to his lip.

 “Achoo! I really need to get inside. Achoo! I have the- Achoo!- worst allergies to pollen and Achoo! You know what let’s just go!” The young woman managed to get out between her sneezing fit.

 Hanamiya was busy swiping the pink layers of Satan out of his face and picking them from his hair that he didn’t realize his team was standing not too far from them.

 Once all of them were back inside the four teammates couldn’t help but stifle laughs at their captain and new manager.

 Somehow the petals got all over Hanamiya and (Y/N)’s nose and eyes had gone bright red.

 “I can’t believe you’re our new manager!” Yamazaki said excitedly to (Y/N) who finally stopped her sneezing fit.

 “I know I’m really excited.”

 “I’m sure you are. Being the only girl it’s gonna be like having your own reverse harem.” The orange haired male said with a large grin.

 “This would be the worst harem ever. You guys are all the same archetype.” (Y/N) said with a small laugh.

 “What does that mean?” Hara asked, still not as knowledgeable about anime.

 “You guys are all the bad boy type. Then again a harem with all bad boys could be fun.”

 “What’s she talking about?” Furuhashi whispered to Hara.

 “I have no clue.” He whispered back with a shrug.

 “I guess this makes me an anime protagonist!” (Y/N) said smiling.

[holidaywishes]

It Had To Be You XLII

Chapter Forty Two: A Little Party Never Killed Nobody

  Summary: Fast forward a year to June 2023 and It’s Bachelorette Party time.

  Warning: Tyler isn’t really in this one (hence no GIF) in anything other than conversations between the girls. Most of the warnings are just mentions of alcohol, drunkness, drunk embarrassing moments, and possible male strippers.

  Author’s Note: Hope you enjoyed the short, little, fluff chapter that came out last time but I wanted to get into some more Girl Time story lines so we can feel more connected to the Bridal Party that (Y/N) will have. Also, I think if I keep writing about Tyler and (Y/N) in these last chapters, it will just be overly-angsty. So, yeah. This one and the next one are just short, fun and cute. Also, I wanted to do a quick update of the timeline since there’s been a few time jumps from Chapter 38. So, here it is:

  Part XXXVIII: July/September 2021/January 2022

  Part XXXVIX: Late June 2022

  Part XL: Late July 2022

  Part XLI: August 2022

  Parts XLII & XLIII (this chapter and the next): June 2023

  Song Credit: A Little Party Never Killed Nobody (All We Got) -- Fergie ft. Q-Tip & Goonrock

  masterlist

  the other masterlist

xx

    When Diana convinced you to do your Bachelorette Party in Vegas, you whined that it was too cliché but no one else in the group was taking any of your suggestions seriously.

  “You want to go Wine Tasting for your Bachelorette Party?” Lucy sneered

  “What’s wrong with that?” you answered

  “Well first of all,” Ethan added, “you hate wine...”

  “Yeah well... I suggested--”

  “Venice beach?” Cassidy interrupted, “no, sorry. If you have it there, I’m out. I honestly thought that was a joke.”

  “Thanks for that, Cass. What about New York?! I suggested that and nobody said anything”

  “It’s not bad...” Candace said, “but it’s a little overpriced for the amount of stuff we want to do. Vegas is the all around better choice...”

  “She’s right,” Diana interjected, “I love New York as much as the next girl but there’s something for everyone in Vegas. In New York, you have to worry about one person being terrified to take the subway while another is too annoyed to sit in a taxi in traffic...” You looked at the group and let out a long, exaggerated sigh, signalling your reluctance to agree

  “Fine...” you finally said and they all smiled at you before jumping up and down with excitement, “but hold on. We have to invite Melissa and Katie and some of the girlfriends from the team...”

  “Even if you don’t know them?” Lucy said skeptically

  “I know it would mean a lot to Tyler...” you admitted, “it would show him that I’m willing to get to know these people who are a big part of his life and who will most likely be around for a while. We don’t have to invite a lot, just one or two.“

  “It’s your party...” Ethan mumbled, “your guests.” You rolled your eyes but continued to send invites to Melissa, Katie, Dominika and Julia. Candace and Lucy handled the booking and the planning of the Bachelorette weekend while you just worried about packing and showing up. Once everyone had confirmed they were going and bought their plane tickets, you were on your way and the excitement started early.

  “Mimosa for everyone,” Katie smiled, handing out champagne flutes in the airport bar, “CHEERS! to a weekend of sin that none of us will remember.” She winked at you and you shook your head with a smile before taking a sip of your drinking.

  “Can you just promise me one thing?” You asked

  “We won’t let anyone out of our sights” Ethan replied, tilting his head to you with a smile

  “Not what I was gonna ask but that’s good too,” you smiled back, “no, I was going to ask... can you just promise me that no strippers will be called to our hotel room? We can go to a show but I don’t want cops showing up at the door who actually turn out to be strippers... okay?”

  “Got it.” Lucy answered, seemingly for the rest of the group, and raised her glass to clink yours.

xx

  The first stop of the weekend, after the hotel, was to the MGM Grand for some gambling

  “Apparently it’s got a lot of options,” Cassidy said, “not just poker or slots. Something for everyone!”

  “Am I guaranteed to win?” you joked

  “No,” Melissa said plainly, “but you are guaranteed to get a lot of alcohol in your body in a very short amount of time.” You laughed and nodded before walking into the Casino with a ridiculous outfit that practically shouted ‘Bachelorette’ to the room, completely with Tiara and Sash. Unfortunately, you didn’t win much but you broke even and that led you to direct the group to the next activity; a trip to Fremont Street.

  “To be honest, we were kind of thinking we’d do this tomorrow,” Julia started, “but there’s a lot to see in Downtown Vegas so we can do a couple days here.” You could feel the alcohol begin to hit you, so when someone flew past your group on the Zip Line above, you were all too eager to find it and take your turn.

  “LET’S DO THAT!” You exclaimed

  “I don’t know, (Y/N),” Candace laughed, “you think you can handle it?”

  “Uhhh, YEAH!” You said, running up to a stranger, “do you know where the Zip Line starts?” He pointed toward the SlotZilla building down the street and you thanked him

  “I’m sorry. It’s her Bachelorette Party. She’s excited” Lucy explained to the man

  “It’s all good. She’s not bothering me,” he smiled, “have a good night!” With that, Lucy and the group followed you to the start of the Zip Line and took your places. About halfway through, it hit you that you were getting married and you yelled over to Candace

  “DO YOU THINK HE REALLY WANTS TO MARRY ME?”

  “WHAT?” she yelled back

  “DO YOU THINK TYLER REALLY WANTS TO GET MARRIED?”

  “OF COURSE HE DOES!” Dominika responded when she heard your question

  “WHY DON’T YOU THINK SO?” Candace asked finally

  “I DON’T KNOW. HE’S GETTING OLDER? MAYBE HE FEELS LIKE HE HAS TO”

  “HE LOVES YOU” Both Dominika and Candace yelled. You waited to get off the Zip Line to continue the conversation but as soon as you were off, Julia and Cassidy were dragging you back up to try the Zoomline. The view from that high freaked you out a little but not enough to stop you from going through with it.

  “YOU READY?” Julia shouted, raising her eyebrows as she asked

  “I’M READY!” You answered, “CASS?”

  “LET’S DO THIS!” The three of you were shot from the wall and watched as your friends tried to follow along but you lost sight of them when they ran into a big group of people. When you got back on solid ground, you got a text from Ethan asking where you were

  “BUDDHA!” was all you sent back

  “They on their way?” Julia asked and you nodded, looking at your background on your phone; a picture of you and Tyler when you’d first adopted Lionel.

  “What’s wrong?” Cassidy asked

  “I miss him!” you answered

  “Who? Tyler? You’ll see him in a couple days.”

  “What? No, Lionel. My puppy. He’s getting so big!” The two girls laughed just as your friends walked into the hotel finding you standing by the Happy Buddha Statue. 

  “Time to go ladies,” Diana said, winking at Ethan, “and Ethan. Our limo is here to take us to the Rio. We’ve got naked men to see and more alcohol to be consumed!” Diana and Candace wooed while the other girls yelled ‘let’s do this bitches’ from behind you, making you and Ethan laugh. Before you got to the show, Diana told you that the package she bought got the group Dinner and Drinks

  “OOH YES! FOOD!” You slurred, the alcohol clearly taking over

  “We’re gonna have some drinks too but this is to make sure we don’t die too early.” She said

  “Plus,” Lucy added, “we have passes for Tao after the show. So we’re going to make sure we’ve sweat the alcohol thoroughly out of our body before we go to sleep tonight.” Right when you got to the Rio, and were directed to your seats, you got a text from Tyler but just as you were about to answer, the lights went down and you put your phone on silent. The show was everything you expected and, in your drunken state, you were overly enthusiastic about just about everything, not that you’d remember any of it the next morning -- luckily the entire group had their cameras out to capture everything.

xx

  Waking up the next day felt like someone was stopping on your head and you groaned when Melissa plopped herself into the bed with you.

  “Last night was fun,” she grumbled, “but I don’t think I want to drink today.”

  “I don’t want to get out of bed today. For anything. Give me room service.” You complained as you pulled the covers over your head

  “Ladies,” Cassidy slumped in the room, whispering as quietly as she could while still being heard, “the hangover IV people are on their way. We should be fine in a couple hours. Hang out by the pool. See some shows tonight. Go to some clubs, drink--” she stopped herself from throwing up before continuing, “a little and then come back and go to sleep for a second before we catch our flight.”

  “If I’m not dead in an hour, Fine. But until then, I’m not making any promises.” The words would prove to be the death of you, and the rest of the group, because that IV Treatment seemed to perk everyone up enough to do last night, almost, all over again. So much so, that you almost missed your flight. Tyler picked you up from the airport and, luckily, chose to keep the dogs at home but he was not about to let your hangover go unnoticed.

  “So..” he started, “have fun this weekend?”

  “I’m never partying with your sisters again. EVER. I don’t think I can go back to Vegas...” you answered

  “You never texted me back...”

  “That’s your sisters fault. Not mine. Or maybe it was the strippers,” you tried to think but your head was still pounding, “it was the alcohol’s fault.”

  “Well I’m glad you didn’t die”

  “Honestly, I’m not sure I didn’t...” he laughed but you put your hand on his arm to stop him, “shhh. I just need you to... shhh.”

  “I love you” he smiled, looking over at you as you sunk in your seat

  “Mmhmm, me too,” you answered, “now let’s just have some quiet time.”

[detectivedreameater]

Ghost In The Stool|| Jane and Marley

TIMING: Right after Jane received a possessed stool PARTIES: @jane-the-zombie and @detectivedreameater SUMMARY: Two cops versus one stool. Who will win? CONTENT: Gun use

Marley was surprised she only heard one gunshot echo as she approached Jane’s house. Still, she had to take a moment to sigh, rubbing the bridge of her nose as she grabbed the baseball bat she’d managed to find and a net. She was no expert on ghosts or possessed objects, but she hope the tools would prove useful somehow. They had to, right? Ghosts, strangely enough, weren’t something she dealt with a lot. And a possessed stool was definitely out of her wheelhouse. But she supposed she ought to feel some obligation to clean up the mess, considering she’d been the one to submit the pie under Jane’s name in the first place. She appreciated how in stride Jane always took her. She was finally a match for Marley’s strange behaviors, and Marley was relieved to have someone like her around. So, she was here, ready to help, with a bat in one hand and a net in the other. She didn’t bother knocking, opening the door and poking her head inside. “Is it still locked in the bathroom?” she called into the apartment, closing the door behind her. 

Jane shot the stepstool. It was just a test to see what would happen, that’s why she only shot it once. Nothing happened. All it did was dent the fucking thing while the bullet landed somewhere she couldn’t see. Jane scowled, before clicking the safety back on and sitting down in front of the bathroom. The door was swung all the way open, propped open by one of her kitchen table chairs. A rather thick line of salt was in front of the door. She heard the door open and assumed that it was Marley. “I think we're staring at each other  and having a staring contest,” Jane said flatly, just as the stool flew into the bathroom counter. “It completely trashed the bathroom!” Jane complained. No way in hell she was ever getting her security deposit back. Fuck. Jane pushed herself up to her feet and poked her head out to look at Marley. “You think a bat and a net is going to help??”

Marley paused in the middle of the living room, holding her net and bat. Looked between the two, then back to Jane before shrugging. “Hey, I’m not a ghost expert, alright? Once they’re dead they’re outta my wheelhouse,” she stated, coming over to Jane and holding one out to her. “I see your ‘shoot it’ method isn’t working, either, so why not give these a try, right?” She glanced to the line of salt, scowling, subconsciously moving away from it before looking at Jane. “Maybe we can like...put it in a cage? Do you have something to hold it?” she asked, watching it tear around the bathroom, cracking the mirror some more and denting the walls. She winced. “And uh...maybe get a good handyman on call.”

“My landlord is going to shit an entire brick. Do you know how nice that old lady is to give me such a good rent price for a two bedroom apartment?” Jane groaned. She ran a hand down her face, before looking between the bathroom and Marley. “There’s no Mara way to get rid of it, is there?” Probably not. She still didn’t completely understand what Mara were, except that they ate and gave people nightmares and had blue blood. She thought for a moment, before her eyes widened. “Oh! You know what! I do have a cage!” Jane said, putting the gun down on the counter and going to one of the storage closets. “Don’t ask me how my brother’s dog’s crate-thing ended up in my packed stuff, but it did. Probably a good fucking thing too. Uhhh… we’re going to have to put it together though.”

“Nope,” Marley said, shrugging again, “no mara way to get rid of a spirit.” Couldn’t really give visions of fear to something that had nothing left to fear. Or...no eyes. She supposed she could stand inside and distract it, but she wasn’t eager to do that right now. “A dog crate?” Glanced around, then back at Jane. “Why did you rent a two bedroom, anyway?” She followed her away from the bathroom, careful to step around the box of salt sitting there, and came over to Jane digging through the closet. “You’re just full of surprises, Newbie,” she said, shaking her head as she started pulling out pieces of a cage. “Think it’s sturdy enough to hold that?”

“Better kitchen,” Jane replied with a shrug. It was more expensive, but Jane wasn’t exactly concerned about money these days. Probably not a financially stable decision, but one she made anyway. This kitchen had an island and the entire apartment was nice and spacious. The small town Maine-murder vibe also helped with rent. Jane snorted, pulling out the black caged bits. “So what’s the plan? We get it in this thing, and then put a salt circle around it and hope for the best?” Jane frowned. “Do you think we can just chuck it???”

“The ideal plan is to just hope it goes away on its own, but I don’t think that’s happening tonight,” Marley said, looking over at Jane, taking some of the pieces she was pulling out and starting to shove them together in what looked like a coherent cage like outline. “Jane, you can’t just throw away a ghost, I don’t think it works like that.” She frowned, furrowed her brow. “Maybe we can find an exorcist or something. You don’t happen to know any, do you?” she asked, looking back over at her. A loud CRASH! Echoed from the bathroom and the one piece of cage Marley had set up fell over with a wimpy clunk.

“Exorcists are a thing?” Jane responded blandly. That answered that question. “Wait don’t - Ah.” Jane ran a hand down her face as the crash echoed in the bathroom as the cage fell apart. She knelt down, and put it back together. “Alright, I have an idea. What if we trap it in the cage, and then one of us holds it down and then traps it in a salt circle until I can get an …. Exorcist here.” Jane frowned. “Do you think that would work? Because I can absolutely shoot it again.” There was another loud crash from her bathroom. Jane winced. “Or we break it into little pieces.”

“Oh Jane,” Marley sighed, shaking her head as if disappointed in a child. “There’s much for you to learn, young one.” Patted her reassuringly on the shoulder before standing up again, looking around. “Okay, fine, but I’m not going anywhere near, in or around a salt circle. I like you, Jane, I do, but I don’t wanna be literally stuck in your house.” Frowned, furrowing her brow. She hated salt. “Breaking it into little pieces just sounds like torture. Or maybe giving it more ammo. I’d suggest not doing that.”

“I can trap you in a salt circle?” Jane asked, looking at Marley amused. “Maybe I’ll put one around your desk the next time you fall asleep,” she said, grinning. “Alright, you can put me in the salt circle while you hold me in here. Some Morton’s isn’t going to get me down.” Jane stood, rolling her shoulders back. “Alright so here’s the plan, I’ll brace myself here with the cage, and you go let it out of the bathroom. It seems to hate me so it should… uh… come straight to me. We stuff it in the cage and then the salt is up in the cabinet. Kay?”

“We’ve all got our weaknesses, okay?” Marley snapped, going over to the cabinet to dig around for the salt. Uugh. She held it out at arm’s length, feeling the hair on her arms rise and her skin tingle. When she came back, she looked at Jane with a ruffled glance. “You make terrible plans. If it comes at me, I’m going intangible. Sorry, but I’m not getting decked by a stool for you today.” She went over to the bathroom, held the nob. “Ready, Newbie?”

“Does that mean you’ll get decked by a stool for me tomorrow?” Jane asked before she braced herself against the metal cage. If this thing could hold the large yellow fluffy monster of a dog that Steve got, it could hold a possessed stool. In theory. Jane snorted. “I make great plans, come on, where’s the fun if there’s no risk involved, right? Besides, it doesn’t like me anyway, it wants to knock my head off. Let her loose. I’m ready.” 

“Maybe,” Marley replied in jest, a small smirk pulling up one side of her mouth. She shook her head again, salt in one hand, doorknob in the other. “Okay, here goes nothing,” and whipped it open quickly. The stool had made even more of a mess of the room somehow, and the second the door open it whizzed out, crashing into the adjacent wall, before righting itself and doing exactly what Jane had said it would-- beelining for her as if she had insulted its entire family lineage. Marley just watched, already racing over with the salt ready.

And there it came. As Jane predicted, the thing whizzed straight to her. The son of a bitch. What had she ever done to it?! Why did it hate her in particular. Jane was ready, though, and moved straight so the stool crashed into the cage with a loud band. Jane threw herself on top of it at the stool jerked around in the cage. She struggled to slam and latch the door and then used her body weight to keep it down. “Marley!” Jane groaned as it slammed the metal into her hip. “Hurry up!” 

Marley couldn’t help but laugh at the situation, even as she hurriedly poured salt-- uuggh-- around the cage, making sure to keep her hands far, far away from it, scooting around the salt as if it were physically repulsing her. When she finished, she shut the lid and tossed the can onto the couch, stepping back. “You’re good, just don’t smudge it!” she warned, pointing at the line so Jane didn’t mess up her handy work. “C’mon, get outta there before it breaks that thing!”

The cage gave her another hard jolt to the ribs and Jane groaned, hurriedly throwing herself over the salt when Marley said it was good. “Ouch,” Jane muttered, poking her ribs, irritated. “Who the hell gives cursed freaking stools as a prize. This is a bad pie prize!!” Jane said, exasperated. Sure enough, the stool was properly constrained, and it seemed pretty pissed off about it. She ran a hand through her hair, and looked at Marley accusingly. “You owe me, by the way. This is your fault.” She pointed at the stool. “And helping me trap it doesn’t count.”

“A cursed town,” Marley said back with a smile, watching the stool struggling against its physical cage and the barrier the salt created. She glanced sideways at her, rolling her eyes. “Alright, alright, fine. But I’m not apologizing for entering the pie under your name because it was hilarious. You’ve gotta admit at least that, Newbie,” she said, coming over to Jane and looking curiously at where she was holding her ribs. “It didn’t break them, did it?” she asked, reaching out to poke her gently. “Guess I do owe you one, now. But just one.”

“No, because whenever I make pie, my pies are good. Though I’m much more of a cookie person than I am a pie person,” Jane wrinkled her nose. During the Christmas and Holiday season, her cookies were killer. Though she wondered if Bo would get angry if she started making cookies for everyone at work, that was her thing. Marley poked her and Jane rolled her eyes. “Just bruised, don’t worry. I don’t really feel like explaining to the hospital that that a dog cage with a rowdy ‘dog’ broke them anyway.” Jane flopped back onto the couch, kicking her feet on the table as she crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re buying me take out.” Jane demanded. “Thai Tanic.” 

“You make pie?” Marley said, raising a brow. “Why does everyone in this town make pie.” But it wasn’t really a question. She dusted herself off a little, stepping wide around the salt circle and coming to the couch to flop next to Jane. She wondered, for a moment, if it was alright that Jane knew about her weakness to salt. But, Jane was Jane. Her partner. Her colleague. Her-- well. No, because Marley didn’t have friends. They were just...this. “Really?” she finally said, picking up her phone despite. “I give you one entire favor, and you just want food?” Shook her head before dialing. “The usual?” 

[conceptstage]

5 Times Caleb Realizes Beau Acts Like a Cat +1 Time He Doesn't Realize They Both Do

I have no idea what this is, I just thought it was funny.

1)

Beau walked into his room at the inn and he barely looked up at her from his book. “Beauregard,” he said, distractedly, in greeting. He finally looked up at her when she crawled up onto his bed and curled into a ball by his feet. “Uhhh… What are you doing?”

“Sleeping. Jester and Nott are being too loud in my room and Fjord snores. Your’s is the only fucking quiet room.”

Caleb watched her for a moment before shrugging and going back to his book. It isn’t long until he heard her breath even out in sleep. An hour later, Caleb sighed and he closed his book. He sat it down on top of his rucksack on the floor and then leaned over to tap Beau’s shoulder gently.

“Beau. Beau, you should be able to go back to your room now.”

She mumbled under her breath but didn’t wake. He was about to shake her shoulder but when he looked at her face it was just too peaceful to disturb. Her usually furrowed eyebrows were relaxed and her perpetual sneer was gone for now. He sighed again and decided to just deal with it. Caleb laid down on the bed but he couldn’t stretch his legs out without kicking his friend, so he kept his knees curled to his chest. He tried to pull the blanket up over his shoulder, but it got caught under her weight and would only reach his elbow. Grumbling under his breath, he closed his eyes and tried to get to sleep anyway.

2)

Beau sighed happily and relaxed with her head in Jester’s lap. The blue tiefling was sitting cross legged near the campfire with Beau laid out beside her, her head resting on her thigh while she gently shaved off the stubble of Beau’s undercut.

Caleb looked up at her, the way she was stretched out comfortably and arching her back when Jester's nails scratched her scalp, and then he looked at Frumpkin. The orange cat was stretched out against his thigh and purring loudly under his fingers as he scratched his head.

Jester paused in her menstrations for a moment to brush some hair off her dress and Beau peeked open her eyes. “Hey, don’t stop,” she complained.

Curious, Caleb stopped scratching Frumpkin and the cat looked up at him. “Mrrrrrrp,” he complained. Caleb chuckled and started scratching again.

3)

Beau groaned and picked at the flaking blood on her arm. “Two fucking weeks on the road. As soon as I get to the house, I’m taking a nice warm bath, so be prepared, Caleb, to warm the water for me.”

Caleb huffed and rolled his eyes. “You could just start the fire with a flint like a normal person.”

“No, fuck you.” When the house started coming into view, Beau sighed happily. “On second thought, put the bath on hold for, like, an hour.” She burst through the front door and Caleb and Jester exchanged curious looks.

Jester shrugged and skipped inside. Caleb followed with the rest of the team behind him. He started trying to find Beau, going up to the second floor and not finding her there. He continued up to the garden on the roof and found her splayed out on the stone, soaking in the daylight spell filtering down through the tree.

Frumpkin jumped off of Caleb’s shoulder and walked over to curl against her side, purring loudly when she started to gently scratch his head. Caleb decided to let them rest and went back down the stairs.

4)

Caleb was sitting at the tavern table across from Nott when he heard Beau’s voice from across the room.

“Don’t touch me. I’m only going to warn you once.”

He looked around quickly to find her. She was leaning against the bar, waiting on their drinks and there was a guy standing beside her who was clearly not taking no for an answer. The man said something that Caleb couldn’t hear and reached to sit his hand on the small of Beau’s back.

Beau grabbed him by the face, digging her blunt nails into his cheeks so hard they drew blood and forced his lips out into a pucker. “Motherfucker, I will kill you.” She pushed him away and then turned back to the bar like nothing had happened, but she was still clearly keeping an eye on the guy.

The guy cried out in pain and held his face, pulling his fingers away to find them dotted with blood. “You bitch!”

Beau just shrugged as the drinks arrived and started back towards the table. “I warned you.”

She sat Caleb’s mug down in front of him and then took a sip of her own before starting a conversation with Nott. Caleb watched the man who’d been bothering her walk quickly away to nurse his injured face and pride. Caleb was always amazed that people could look at Beau and not realize she had claws.

5)

“I’m sooooo fucking hungry,” Beau complained, laying in the back of the wagon.

Caleb frowned back at her from where he was driving. “You just ate. It’s only been an hour.”

“I’m starving for sure,” she said, completely seriously.

He rolled his eyes and turned back ahead to watch the road. “You’ll survive.”

“No, I won’t.”

+1)

Beau sighed boredly and rolled the ball between her hands on the table, spinning it back and forth idly.

“Stop it,” Caleb mumbled, his face pressed against the wood. “When is Jester getting here? We cannot leave without her.”

“She said three,” Beau answered, rolling the ball over to him. It hit his hair and bounced back slightly.

Caleb frowned and looked up at the ball. “It’s almost four.”

“I know.”

Caleb sighed again and sat up straight, resting his chin on his hand and knocking the ball back across the table to Beau. She caught it, spun it around in her fingers, and then flicked it back.

Caleb struggled to stop the speeding ball before it fell in his lap. “Careful,” he mumbled, without any real intent behind it. He rolled it back and Beau smirked, knocking it back before he could recover. It hit his elbow and nearly bounced off the end of the table but she smacked a hand down on it before it got too far. “You need to be faster than that, man,” she said, pushing it back to him easily.

He frowned but caught it. “I am not a trained monk, this is not my forte.”

“This isn’t exactly considered a monk weapon. This is just a toy.” He rolled it back and she caught it with ease. They tossed the ball back and forth for several minutes until someone spoke.

“Are you two just gonna do that all afternoon?” Fjord asked from the end of the table.

“Yes,” Beau said.

“Maybe,” said Caleb, at the same time.

Just then, Frumpkin dashed across the table, knocking the ball off the side and then chasing it under the next table over.

“Hey!” Beau exclaimed as she and Caleb got to their feet, following the cat onto their knees and under the table. “Caleb, tell him to bring it back!”

“Are you guys really fighting over a toy with a cat?”

“Yes,” Said Caleb.

“Maybe,” said Beau, at the same time.

[hanniiesuckle17]

Spinning Secrets

A/n: Not requested but requests are open. THERE ARE NO JHOPE SPIDERMAN AUS WTF GUYS

Member: Jung Hoseok (J-Hope)

WARNINGS: Swearing, partial nudity

Summary: Growing up in the bustling city of New York, you aren’t usually used to knowing your neighbors. However, the boy in the apartment above you quickly became your best friend all the way up until your junior year of high school. After spending a summer away from the city, you come back to find your best friend, Hoseok, completely different. He became more muscular and started to become distant to you. You are trying to keep the friendship alive, but your feelings for him are getting in the way and he keeps avoiding you.

Genre: superhero!au, spiderman!au, fluff, comedy?, little bit of angst

My camera slung around my neck as I shouldered my backpack. The late summer breeze blew through my hair as I climbed out my window onto the fire escape. I climbed the stairs until I reached the floor above mine. Not surprising the window opened when I pulled and I climbed into the room.

“Hobi?” When we were little one of us would use the fire escape to see the other late at night after our parents had gone to bed. Now it was just habit to keep our windows unlocked. His room looked the same as before I left for the summer except for the fact that their was this weird metal briefcase lying on his unmade bed. His camera still sat on his desk next to his laptop. We joined the photography club together freshman year. Last year we both got offered internships at a small local newspaper but he turned it down saying he wanted to focus on the schools website. He was always better at the tech stuff than I was.

I smiled looking down at the camera, happy he at least was still doing photography. A lot had changed since I got back. Hoseok didn’t seem to ever have enough time for me anymore. But, that didn’t stop me from trying to keep our friendship alive. If I couldn’t work up the courage to tell him how I felt then I should at least work my ass off to keep our friendship.

“Y/n? What the hell! Give me some warning!” My head turned to see Hoseok walk in wearing only a towel around his waist. Laughing, I went to his dresser and chucked a pair of sweats at him. My eyes quickly allowed themselves to scan his body before I turned around. Apparently more than I thought had changed. I didn’t remember my best friend looking like that. 

“Hey, I got a tip down from the paper. You know the guys that Spiderman busted doing that robbery a couple weeks ago?  They had those freaky weapons. Well some anonymous guy called in a tip about a deal going down in Hunts Point.” The shuffling of fabric stopped and I turned around to face him. “Hunts Point? Wow, that means all that crap goes deeper than the cops let on.” He sat down on his bed and ran a hand through his still wet hair. I plopped down next to him and the scent of his shampoo immediately became present. The familiar and distinct smell of mint.

“You wanna go with me? I might catch Spiderman.” I wiggled my camera next to my face with a knowing smile. His face shifted. “Y/n, you can’t go to Hunts Point.” “Why not?” He stood up in front of me. “Because, you could get killed or.....you aren’t going, Y/n.” He started to raise his voice at me, something he never did before. “Well you made you King Shit of Fuck Mountain?” “What?”

“You heard me! Hoseok after ignoring me countless times these past few weeks, the least you could do is spend time with me even if it means getting killed in an alley somewhere! I left for the summer and when I came back I apparently lost the person I cared about most! I don’t want to lose you as my best friend too.”

Silence filled the room as he tried to understand what I just said. His phone started ringing from across the room. Crossing he looked at the screen and sighed running his fingers through his hair before looking at me. “It’s my internship....I have to pick up, Y/n.” Scoffing, I picked up my camera. “Forget it, Hobi.” My shoulder brushed his as I climbed back out his window. This time I descended down to the street and hailed a cab to Hunts Point.

It had been two hours and finally the tip came through. I had hid out on a rooftop of a convenience store waiting for something to show up. The three guys that had been smoking out front suddenly went into the alley to meet a blue van that had just pulled up. Quickly I crouched down and pulled out my camera. The deal was as the tipper said. I snapped shots as two other guys brought out a couple of weird looking weapons.

“I’m gonna need a demo if you askin me to pay that much, man.” The guy nodded and put on one of the gloves and pressed a button on the wrist. Pink electricity shot from his fingertips and grabbed onto a trash can near by and flung it into the wall hard enough the flatten it.

“Holy fuck balls.” I whispered. Regretting it, I clasped a hand over my mouth. I saw all five pairs of eyes look up to me. Suddenly, I was wrapped up in the electric tendrils and thrown onto the ground. “Bro you said this was a closed deal! We’re outta here!” The three men sprinted away from the alley but the other two just stared at me. I had slammed my head against the ground kind of hard and I felt something wet on my forehead.

“Well, well, well. Look at this little bird. Such a pretty thing spying on us.” He made a motion with his hand and the electricity shot out and grabbed me by the neck, bringing me in front of him by the van. My hands struggled against the coils of energy.

"What should we do with her, Jay?" The man behind him said. His finger came up to my cheek and I kicked and tried to scream. "Why don't we teach her a lesson?" Suddenly his head was thrown against the side of the vehicle and I was on the ground.

"Teach her a lesson? In what dancing?" I gasped for air and looked up to find a man, maybe boy, in a red and blue suit standing on top of the dumpster. "You sir, don't look like a dancer." He hopped off the trash bin with out a sound and landed gracefully.

"Spiderman?" I breathed out. His masked fork turned towards me on the ground. "Oh, hey Y/-----regular civilian." The masked hero scratched the back of his neck and from his voice it sounded like he was laughing. Suddenly a fist flew across his cheek, stunning him.

"Ow. Hey you know violence never solves anything!" He put his hands up like a surrender catching the guy off guard. "Then again it was my pre-K teacher who said that so screw her." His foot met the man's face so fast I almost didn't see it. Next his fingers went to his own wrist and a strong of web shot out and wrapped itself around the guy's chest. With a swift yank, he pulled the criminal straight into his fist, knocking him out.

"Rocky ain't got nothing on me bitch! Wanna go!" He started prancing around like the boxing figure from the film. "Watch out!" I managed to scream before a blast was fired at the Spiderman. He jumped out of the way as the electrical blast fired but his arm got grazed, breaking the fabric of the suit and burning his skin.

He fell to the ground clutching his arm. Seeing a chance I grabbed a pipe laying on the ground and wacked the guy in the face. It didn't do much as he didnt drop the weapon or crumple like they did in the movies.

"Have to say that wasn't my best idea." I said gulping as the man appeared to grow a few feet taller. At least to me in my cowering state of fear and embarrassment. He raised the weapon up to me about to fire when a web wrapped around it, pulling it into Spiderman's hands.

"Nice cap gun! Can I try?" He fired it at the mans stomach launching him into the brick wall behind me. "Can't get that at Party City." He said simply. Chucking the gun onto the street. He shot a large web against the guy keeping him trapped. He then lifted the other guy up and webbed him to the dumpster.

"Something's not right." He stood looking at the man. There was something about his voice that was just so familiar. And his attitude. It was on the tip of my tongue. "You got a pen, Princess?" Wait. No. I was just overthinking it.

I just had a fight with him. Of course he's still on my mind. I would connect the launching of Sputnik with him right now. "Uhhh yeah." I grabbed the sharpie from my pocket and he uncapped it walking over to the unconscious man. The hero who saved my life then proceeded to draw a dick on the man's forehead. "Much better!"

"What are you four?" He turned to look at me and I could tell he was smiling through the mask. "Where did you get that face? The ugly store?" He said in a whing voice, but a laugh came out at the end. It stopped when I raised my fist in warning. I grabbed hold of my camera which thankfully was still around my neck, and started taking pictures.

"What are you doing?" He said warily. "Proof. Say cheese." "I'm vegan." "Say tofu I don't give a shit." He held up a peace sign and you could see the two guys in the background of the picture. "Hey it's getting dark. This isn't a nice part of town. I'll take you home." A web sprouted from his wrist up to the roof and pulled down my bag. Holding out his hand to me he said, "117 ××××××××× St. Right?" Hesitantly, I took my bag.

"How did you know that?" He started to stutter and reached for the back of his neck again. "Uh- umm- I- I'm just your friendly neighborhood Spiderman. I see everything eventually." I nodded still not buying the excuse. "Come on." He held his covered hand out to me once more. This time I took it.

Before I knew it I was pulled very close to the strange person and swinging by web through the New York city skyline. However that wasn't what I noticed first. A familiar scent of mint was coming off the masked hero who held my waist tightly. Soon, he dropped me onto my fire escape.

"Come in for a sec. I want to give you something!" I said to him before climbing in my window. He cautiously followed and waited in my room while I grabbed a bandage and antiseptic spray from the bathroom. "Who's this?" He said pointing to my laptop screen. The background was a picture I had taken of Hoseok about a year ago. I would never tell him, but ever since I realized I loved him more as a person I craved to be with, I found myself taking pictures of him. That was my favorite. He was sitting on the fire escape and looking up at me with his bright smile. The one where his eyes looked like they were laughing. A smile I hadn’t really seen since I got back. The picture reminded me of the Hoseok I fell in love with.

“Oh. Umm...that’s just this boy I’ve had a crush on forever. It doesn’t matter though.” I said sighing and setting the bandages on the bed. “What?!” The masked hero turned to me. I couldn’t see his face, but his voiced was filled with shock. “Uh- I-I mean- Wait. Why doesn’t it matter? I’m sure he likes you back.” Spiderman messed with the frayed edges of my jean jacket resting on the chair. “No. He doesn’t besides he isn’t the boy I fell in love with anymore.” I sat on the bed staring at the superhero.

“You are in love with him?” For some reason his words came out breathy. I just assumed the action of kicking two guys’ asses was just now catching up to him. “Was.” I got up and moved in front of the man child hero. “Now sit. Let me take care of your arm!” He pushed me away gently. “Don’t worry about me, princess. It’ll be a scar by tonight. Perks of being superhuman.” That name. Was it?

“No more being heroic without me okay!” He called as he climbed out my window, swinging into the night. I heard a small crash and cars honking before I heard the voice of the Spiderman yelling, “SORRY!”

Did he really think I wouldn’t notice. He really wasn’t the boy I fell in love with. Pulling out my phone, I sent him a text.

Hobi, r u home? something cool happened!

No, sry princess im out getting groceries for Aunt May

its fine. ill tell u tmrw

I sighed, this confirming my theory. I threw my phone onto my bed and headed out onto the fire escape.

The window of Hoseok’s room slid open about three in the morning. The room was dark and I heard shuffling around in the space. “You grab milk when you were out?” I said from his desk chair. “HOLY FUCK DEMONS BEWARE!” I turned on the desk light to see Hoseok on top of his bed with his fists up. “Y/n? What the hell!” I looked to the red and blue fabric on his bedroom floor. He then realized he stood in only his underwear in front of me. Then he realized his suit lay obviously on the floor in plain sight for me to see.

“Okay, Y/n. It’s not what you think.” My arms crossed over my chest. “Let me get dressed and I’ll tell you all about it.” He started to move towards the closet but I moved my leg to block the closet. By the look on my face he knew not to piss me off right now. Even with him all bulked up he knew I could still kick his mother fucking ass.

“I was- uh-uhhh-It was Jungkook’s fault.” He said scratching the back of his neck. I raised my eyebrow at him and he sat down on the bed. “He wanted to go to this cosplay party- contest......whats it called?” “Convention?” “Yeah. And he wanted to be Iron Man and didn’t have a Spiderman, so I was like shit yeah I’ll go with you! I don’t have anything to do tonight. WAIT NO. That’s not what I meant. I mean I said that the other day. You know when he asked me to go to the event which was tonight.......”

I sat in silence just staring at my best friend expressionless. “I thought we were friends, Hobi.” He looked distressed. “Y/n we are. You mean the world to me, princess.” I shook my head and stood from the chair. “You would tell me the truth if I did.” I started to go out the window, but was pulled back into the room. Before I could turn and say something, his lips were pressed against mine. Hoseok’s hand gripped my wrist and the other went to my cheek.

My hand went to his cheek and the sound of the slap filled the room. He just looked down clearly ashamed. “If I didn’t know already, now I do. He was the only one I told.” With that I left the room and climbed back down to my apartment.

The next morning my phone had forty two messages from Hoseok and eighteen missed calls. I avoided Hobi for the rest of the week. I heard him leave the fire escape each night and saw him swing building to building. Part of me wanted to forgive him. I could see why he didn’t tell me. Every second that part of me wanted to run back up to his room and apologize and just let him hold me. Hoseok was always the emotional one when it came to the two of us. I hadn’t cried since I was six and my mom left, and it felt like Hobi cried every other day for a little puppy in the street or something.

I hadn’t slept for three days. Not for lack of trying. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I was proud of him. He was saving lives and didn’t even want anyone to know he did it. But, that was Hobi. “Fuck.” I felt a tear slip down my cheek. Wiping it away quickly I turned over and got up from my bed only to see a slim form climbing through my window. He was dressed in the suit, but the mask was in his hand. His dark hair was sweaty and framed his forehead.

“Oh shit. Y/n.” He instantly crossed to me, taking me into his arms. I didn’t fight it. I just let him hold onto me, hoping I wasn’t still crying. “I’m sorry I was an asshole.” He whispered. “Will you be more specific? You are an asshole most days of the week.”

“Wow! Exposed.” I turned to see THE Iron Man sitting on my fire escape. “Hoseok what the hell!?” The Tony Stark was sitting there watching me cry. “Sorry didn’t mean to interrupt. Actually yeah I did.” Hoseok kept his arms loosely around me. “Mr. Stark could you give us a sec?” He said it so casually as if this was a normal Tuesday. Stark sighed and then flew off.

“That was Tony Stark.” “Yeah.” “You know Tony Stark.” “Yeah.” “Jungkook is going to brutally murder you in your sleep if he ever finds out.” He nodded with a smile. I looked down not ready to handle the silence that followed. His covered hand brought my chin up to look at him. “A little spider told me that you were in love with me.”

“Really, you talk to spiders?” “Y/n I was trying to be cheeky like in the movies.” “You should stop that now.” “Okay.” I laughed and that feeling I got in my stomach when he smiled came back. “Do you love me?” He asked, his tone serious. “Hoseok. I have loved you before you were a super-spider. And I will love you long after everyone forgets why you are the most selfless and humble hero there is.” He smiled and I could see his eyes tear up. I wiped away the single one that fell.

“You can’t cry, okay? You have to go be SpiderBoy.” He laughed and his thumbs rubbed patterns on my waist. Slowly he leaned down and placed a kiss on my lips. It didn’t feel desperate like the one in his room. It was slow. Sweet. The kind where you forget that you even need air. The kind that made me want to never kiss another man the rest of my life. Happily I let him take the lead, involuntarily melting into his arms. My fingers tangled themselves in his dark locks.

He had a sharp intake of breath at this action and deepened the kiss, hands moving beneath the fabric of my shirt to feel the skin of my waist. I pulled away to look into his eyes. “I love you.” The biggest smile came onto my face. “You say more things like that I’ll have to keep you to myself all night.” “That I wouldn’t mind.”

“I would.” We both turned to find Tony back on the fire escape motioning for Hoseok to follow him. I pushed him towards the window and Mr. Stark left my sight. Hoseok turned to me as he stepped out on to railing.

“Keep your window open for me, princess?”

“When is it closed?”

Masterlist

[theabominableblogger]

My Reaction to “Gotham” S5E2

In Which Harvey Continues to be the Best Goddamn Thing in This Show

I was a lucky son of a duck and managed to get this reaction while the episode was airing live on FOX last night.  For episodes 3-12, I will be waiting for Hulu to receive them because of an upcoming spring semester at college.  So for episodes 3-12, I will be in the dark until Friday or Saturday (so no spoilers from y’all).

Also, on TV, there are so many GOD.  DAMN.  COMMERCIALS.

AN:  I managed to record my reactions to this episode and hopefully I can transcribe what I said into this post.

*Recaps shows the chopper*  OK, so who freakin’ shot down the chopper?

Oh, Tabitha...

*We see a whole bunch of injuries on Will’s back*  What the...

“They call themselves the Soothsayers.”  The Sooth- what?

“They’re digging some sort of tunnel.”  *gasps and reels back*  It’s Jeremiah!  ‘Cause he has a tunnel!  Oh my God!

What’s the tunnel for?

OK, never mind then, I don’t think Jeremiah’s in charge of the Soothsayers

“The second you [Jim] step outside that door, someone’s gonna take a shot at you, and if it’s not you that’s getting hit, it’s the schmoe standing next to you.”  *laughs*

*Jim hangs up on the radio*  Who’s on the other end?

“Four shells each.  Half a mag each.”  Wow.

“Will says the Soothsayers are here, which means we have to pass through Sirens territory.”  Ooh.

“She’s [Barbara] gonna be thrilled to see you [Jim] after what happened with Tabitha.”  Ooooff...

Wait, so is the Dark Zone like around Gotham?  At the docks or...

What?

So this is Robinson Park, OK... so this is where Ivy is.

Oh, these sets look nice.  Getting some serious Arkham Knight flashbacks.

Swore I just saw someone move in the background...

*Bruce catches a guy trying to sneak up on him*  Yeah.

“They came for help too!”  What district are they from?  Why are they British?

*jams along with opening theme*

*silently headbangs to heavy metal cover of "Ring of Fire” by Social Distortion playing in Barbara’s club*

*Everyone stops dancing when Jim arrives*  Oooohhhh... ooohh hoo hoo hoooo...

“It’s a police matter.”  “You know, they should really write that on your tombstone.”  *laughs*

“Drive right into this nightmare you’ve created.”  Actually it’s Jeremiah... kay...

“HAVE AT HIM!  RIP HIM TO SHREDS!”  Ooof.

*Panning shot of an absolute dark Gotham*  Oh my God.

*laughs*  There’s just this one random burst fire hydrant!

So is this whole episode gonna be them [Jim and Harvey] fighting their way out of the Dark Zone?

*jaw drops when someone shoots an arrow at Harvey*

“It’s a freaking arrow, Jim!  IT’S A FREAKING ARROW!”  *scoffs in shock*

Whooooo I remember her [the Day of the Dead lady] from the trailers!

Yeah, that’s the same... freaking tunnel

“The smoke... you [Gabriel] should take it.”  No.

“It’ll give you energy-”  Oh my God, is that Viper?  Is that Viper from S1?

“-see the future.”  What?

Or does Jeremiah shanghai this whole tunnel later this season?

“Once this tunnel is complete, we will have exclusive access to the mainlands.”  Oh my God, they are going to the mainland!

God, that guy [Sykes] just spit everywhere!

Sykes?  Isn’t that the bad guy from Oliver and Company?

“In Penguin’s grace, we will remain.”  Ohh, that’s a good line.

“What are the cattle prods for?”  “Fun.”  *scoffs in hilarity*

“If he [Sykes] moves, kill him.”  Oh ho!  Jim’s not messin’ around!

Yeah, that’s that same tunnel that Jeremiah [and Ecco] are in in some of those pictures.

AN:  Take a shot every time I mention the damn tunnel.

So is Gabriel Will’s older brother?

“Why would anyone be a cop in a world like this?”  “Well, the Halloween shop was all out of gas masks so it was either this or Sexy Nurse.” *reels back in chair from laughter*

“Let take ‘im, boys.”  CHEESE IT, BOYS!

*Sykes and his men try to take the kids*  Oh no.

*Jim comes to the rescue*  Yay.

*One of the car tires get shot*  Ooohhh...

*Commercials start*  OK... OK... so... what?

Wait, so is Jeremiah gonna leave for the mainland?  Like “Syke, I’m gonna get out of here!”

Noo... because his mission is Bruce so I don’t think he even wants to leave Gotham.  It’s the whole “I don’t wanna kill you!  What would I do without you?” mantra going on.

Whaaaaaatt...

What is she [Ivy] wearing?

“You have to believe me.”  “Forgive me if I find it hard to do so.”  COLD.

“It wasn’t me.  It was the park.”  *in unison with Bruce*  The park?

“The plants are my protection.”  ...OK.

“Maybe we can help each other.”  Bruce...

TELL HER IT’S SELINA!

“There’s a seed.  It’s growing under the oaks.  It’s said to have magical qualities.  When digested, it goes to the damaged tissue and bone.”  A seed?

Wwwhhhhaaaattt?

Ed?  Hello?  How are you?  Where are you?  Are you in the library again?  Why are sleeping with your glasses on?

What is going on?

That [library] looks like Oswald’s old house [the van Dahl mansion]

Oh my God, are we gonna see Ed peeing?

EEUUGGHHH we don’t need to be seeing this...

Oh my God, there’s someone in the frickin’ [bathtub]...

“There’s nothing there.”  *laughs*

Waaaaiit... what’s going on?

[Ed] You’re gonna attack him [the Street Demon] with a toilet plunger!  *cackles*

“Did I uh...” *chuckles*

“We’re gonna have to do all this again?  Guess so...”  *scoffs*

What is that place?

“It’s not safe out there.”  No dip, Jim.

“Maybe there’s still good people left in Gotham.”  Mmmmmm....

Yeah, you’re [Jim and Harvey] gonna leave three kids there [in the lobby].  All alone.  In a strange building.  Great.

Harvey, you’re a blessing.

Yeah, you’re gonna leave the three kids there.  Right.  Great idea.  Great idea.

These sets are fabulous.

“Hello?”  Blaaggghh!  Jump scare!

“GCPD.”  Take a shot!

Was that a crow [in the background]?

There’s just a bunch of random folded clothes everywhere.

*Harvey finds the dinner table full of body parts*  Oh my God...

Are those teeth?

*Harvey finds a plate of bloody fingers*  :0

Oh my God, freaking- they’re freaking cannibals?!?

*gasps when Mother attacks Harvey*

*has to leap out of seat to cool off when commercials start*

Oh wow, I love Sweeney Todd.

*ends up coughing up a lung*

So far, again, this feels like a foundational episode.  It’s just like “OK, we gotta work on this, we gotta make sure this is safe,” and yeah.

I wonder if the Jaime Murray character is gonna show up at the end of the episode or something.

AN:  You may think that... but no.

I also wanna know what kind of crack these writers were on for this final season.  Tze Chun had the good shit; I dunno about the others.

*gasps in disgust when Ed hits the Street Demon in the mouth with a wrench.”

“[Ed] You wanted to know where the Street Demons base was.”  Why?

“Aaand you wanted to make sure the boss would be there.”  Why?

“OK, how did I [Ed] seem?  Was I... confident?  Flamboyant?  Charisma for days?”  *giggles*

“Or was I conserved, kinda repressed, a little nerdy?”  *laughs*

Soo... did Hugo combine the two personalities?  ‘Cause the pushing up the glasses is a new thing.

*gasps when Ivy kills the men who were holding her.”

“[Bruce] You are so utterly naive.”  Oh my God.

“[Selina] She is paralyzed and has lost the will to live.”  “Good.”  What?!?

“That bitch destroyed the last of the Lazarus Water.”  ExCUSe me?!?

“Let her suffer.”  Noooo...

You can tell that Peyton List [Ivy] is just wearing a whole bunch of face powder on.

“I am feeding the earth these wretched creatures.  It consumes them.”  She has lost her freakin’ mind.

*Ivy starts caressing Bruce’s neck*  Do not prick his neck.

“Those men you killed were right.  You are a witch.  A murderous, callous witch.”  WHOOOOOOO- oh my God...

Hoo!

“What’s your name?”  “I- I can’t remember.”  What?

“She found me?”  “Who?”  “The ghost!”  The ghost?

“She makes me call her.. Mother.”  *reels back and puts hands in the air*  It is Mother and Orphan!

Wait, is that the kid?

*The kid stays behind*  It is the kid!  That’s Orphan!

Oh my God...

“The lights will make you dizzy.  And then you’ll go to sleep.”  Oh this is cool..

“Jim, I don’t feel so good.”  Wow, I love Infinity War.

Actually no, I hated it.  I was sick the first time I saw it.

*gasps when Mother sneaks up behind Jim*

They really do need to put a flashing lights warning on this.

*gasps when Mother fights off Jim and Harvey*

*Harvey tries to leave*  There’s an open window!  You broke a window!  Go through the window!

*looking through the Gotham tag on Tumblr during commercials*  Wow, someone wrote some fanfiction quick.

Oh wow, I love Ghost Adventures!

*gasps when Ed and the Street Demon find the Street Demon leader wiped out.”

[Penguin Was HERE] Really?!?

*imitates the guitar riff going off*

*Ivy leads Bruce to the seed*  Oh my gosh, that’s so pretty

*Ivy gives Bruce the seed*  I ain’t eatin’ that...

“One thing’s for certain... the seed will alter her [Selina] forever.”  Great.

“Some say, the darker angels of our mind-”  Great.

Also, yay for natural lighting finally in this show.  I love it when they use natural lighting in the show.  It looks so nice.

“What’s the matter, Bruce?  Don’t know if you can trust me?”  I don’t trust you.

“I don’t.”  “Good.  then you’re finally becoming a man.”  Ivy, you’re like his age.  shut up.

*Ivy sits in one of the low sitting trees*  OK, so if the tree branches just grab her and just sink down into the ground, this will be the greatest thing.

“Detective Gordon, your hand’s bleeding.”  Uhhh...

*Sykes and his men arrive*  Oh my God... monster truck!

“Wait just a minute!  Please...”  Whoaaa... who are you?

I don’t know who that is.  She [the Day of the Dead looking lady] looks cool though.

*commercials start*  Who is this?  Who are you?

Five bucks:  Barbara comes in and saves the day even though she still hates Jim.  She hates everybody.  She comes in like “I’m just here for the kids, not you.”

Oh noo...

“Did you [Bruce] find the witch?”  “It was Ivy.”  Great!  Alfred’s like “Oh bloody brilliant!”

“What choice do I have?”  Bruuuce...

“I want to help Selina as much as you do but Ivy’s a maniacal, cold-hearted killer.”  You met her like twice, Alfred!

But true, she is.

“So if Ivy wants to kill me, she can have at it.”  Oh my God...

Who wrote this episode?  I’m gonna have words.

*Bruce gives Selina the seed*  Yeah, you’re gonna shove that down your throat.  Great.

Is she gonna chew it?

*Selina starts chewing the seed like a gummie vitamin*  OK then...

It’s the Spiderman bite except in fruit form.

*freezes when Selina starts seizing*

“God, what have I [Bruce] done?”  *extremely sad face*

“I’ll tell you what!  I’ll [Sykes] take his head!  And you can have the rest of him!”  *scoffs in shock*

*gasps when Jim shoots the Day of the Dead lady*

Is that a monster truck?!?

My sister:  Is that a tank?!?

That’s a monster truck!

*both immediately at loss of words when Barbara hops down*

Wow, I love Hot Wheels!

*jaw drops when Jim uses his last bullet to kill Sykes and defend Barbara*

Wow... that just... came out of nowhere!

“Wow.  Wasted your last bullet for me.  Must be love.”  No it is not.  Barbara, how dare you say that?

*Barbara tells Jim she wants to kill Penguin.”  Great.  Great plan.

Wait, you’re gonna invite Barbara to the Green Zone?  Yeah, great plan, Jim.  Great plan!

*Jim and Co. arrive at the Green Zone*  Whoa!

He [Lucius] looks fab!

Wait a minute, is this [the Green Zone] that apartment complex that got blown up in the trailer?!?  Are you freaking kidding me?

They’re gonna freaking blow this place up later in the season.  God dang it.  Who did it and why?  Who does it and why?

We stan one future police commissioner.

“See you around, killer.  We have some unfinished business, you and I.”  Nooo you don’t.  Cool off!

Oh crap, is she [Selina] gonna be gone in the morning?!?

Oh my God, Bruce hasn’t slept in like 48 hours?!?  Great.

*gasps*  She’s [Selina] not there!  Did she go out the window?

Did she pull a “Dark Knight Rises” and back flip out the window?

“Bruce...”  Oh no.

She [Selina] looks like Michelle Pfeiffer.

“[Selina] How do you feel?”  “Different.”  Why are her eyes closed?  Open yo eyes!

“I’m better.  Even better than before in fact.”  Mmmmm no!

*Bruce hugs Selina*  Yay hug!  We like hugs!  We like some hugs!  Yay!

Oh my God, she’s gonna go on a murdering spree and kill some people, isn’t she?

*Selina’s eyes*  WHAAATT the frick?!?  Wha-

WhaAAAAttt?!?

*gasps when Ecco pops up in the promo for next episode*

*ejects out of chair to cool off*

AN:  Ecco, your man better treat you right or I’m gonna fight him AND the writers.

We’re getting WhaAAAtt??? WHaaaAAT?? 

Oh my God...