#ive been struggling with this fic
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wait fr fr are there people who unironically ship kidkillerlaw? Like yes, I am deranged for ASL but I am equally as insane for Kiddkiller. Anyways, even if there aren't, I have a fic idea for this ship.
In this, Kidd's a king, Killer is his right hand man and Law is a foreigner just appeared one day and seduces the king. There's the conventional story of Kiddlaw falling in love with stolen glances, intimate moments and oddly violent shittalking/flirting.
However, dare I suggest a twist? Kidd is Killer's first love.
One day, on a blazing hot afternoon, Kidd returns to his private quarters pissed. He's ranting to Killer about how "God damn annoying some soldiers could be" and Killer's mindlessly nodding away while very shamelessly staring at his body.
There's just something about the way his muscles flex and move when he's angry. He looks so damn powerful and mouthwateringly strong. Kidd's gold eyes catch the sunlight and Killer thought the colour looked like fire, the passion of war.
Kidd then takes his pants off as casually as ever. They've seen each other naked plenty of times growing up—it's fine! Killer nearly chokes on his spit. Since when Kidd was so thic? Killer hopes Kidd would crush him with his thighs.
Kidd stares at Killer like, "Dude were you fucking listening to me? We gotta do something about our fucking military!"
Killer just nods. Uh-huh. Yup, yup we need new armour.
Kidd knows Killer wasn't listening but he assumes it was the weather and not... well, no one casually assumes that your right-hand-man-best-friend is lusting over you. He shrugs and tells Killer to help prepare a bath for him and Killer immediately runs out, panting, on the verge of going insane.
Damn, Killer thinks sadly, Law better treat his best friend well...
And yet! Killer's turmoil is not over.
When Kidd and Law get married, Killer's tasked to stay behind to protect Law on Kidd's behalf whenever Kidd has to leave for some foreign affair thing. Killer was jealous of Law but succeeds in looking professional. However, at some point, something cracks.
The evening was cool and pleasant when it happened. Law suddenly said that he wanted to take a walk and Killer figured why not. Usually quiet, Law speaks first this time—not about foreign affairs. He asks about Killer's day, what he ate, if he met anyone new today.
Killer was surprised. Law's manipulative and scheming to everyone who isn't Kidd. He asked why Law was so friendly all of a sudden. Law laughs in Killer's face. Killer notices how his mouth twitches upwards to form a smile. It was cruel but also kind of hot.
"You're lonely without Eustass too," Law says like he would lose nothing. He says that openly because he's lonely too. "Why don't we become friends? It won't be so awkward during dinner. Of course, I can't replace Eustass, but I think I'm tolerable company."
Killer shrugs. Why not?
They talk more and Killer understands more and more why Kidd genuinely fell in love with Law. He's reserved, analytical and sharp-tongued. Law is a brat but he only really pays attention to people he likes and it shows.
Oh. And when Killer drops him off at the podium because Law wants to read, Killer does what Kidd does and kisses Law's hand. When he glances up, Law just looks so amused at how awkward he is. Oh no.
Law's beautiful.
#kidkiller#kidlaw#kidkillerlaw#kiddkillerlaw#killerlaw#eustass captain kidd#trafalgar law#killer one piece#one piece#id like to say im sorry but im not#ive been struggling with this fic#for so long until it just hit me like DAMN#I FIXED MY OWN PROBLEMS!!#Let me know if yall want to hear more ab this cuz gaskvqwfuvqel
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kings and clocks and stories
inspired by @bellshazes Realisa Onum
#ive been struggling with this one tbh. still not really achieving my VISION here but it is what it is#i dont read fics super often tbh but oooohh oooh this is a good one#king ren arc is so special to me anyways cause it was the first big story i was actually in the fandom for :')#bdoubleo100#rendog#tangotek#ethoslab#hermitcraft#my art#(hope youre okay with being tagged btw! sorry if not)
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AAI2 SPOILERS🍡
some hair down
#aai2#ace attorney investigations#ace attorney#aai2 spoilers#simeon saint#bronco knight#simon keyes#horace knightley#money the monkey#my goat#ive been reading a lot of fics lately#(well not that many because there are like 5)#and i was struggling imaginining simeon in some scenarios becasue his face changes a lot
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Switched roles au (sort of)
This is art for my fic called Switched! Roman and Virgil switch roles and have to figure out how to do the other's job.
Roman is absolutely not having a good time with this. He feels awkward and sick almost all the time. But Virgil is enjoying himself quite a bit. He's so pretty :) he made his outfit himself and is quite proud of his cloak.
They're starting to enjoy the other's company ;)
This took me about 6 hour to draw (and at least an hour was dedicated to figuring out how to do the stars). Krita is NOT my preferred program to use but hey, it is free.
Pspspspsps Prinxiety enjoyers come get yall's juice.
#sander sides#sanders sides#thomas sanders#roman sanders#virgil sanders#prinxiety#creativity sanders#what do you mean Roman's outfit is inaccurate compared to what ive written in the story so far#its totally always been these funky pants and a long sleeved shirt#i definitely havent been struggling to figure out his switched outfit for the entirety of planning/writing the fic#not at all /sarcasm
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kabru's relationship with his eyes makes for suuuuuch a fantastic trans allegory (an aspect of your body alienating you from your community, being compelled to understand the perspective of someone who also has a complicated relationship with their body in the hopes that you'll better understand your own, people straight up misunderstanding biology) it makes me kind of insane because now I feel like I can't dig into any complicated feelings he might have about his body in relation to his gender without feeling like im just ... double dipping?? like fifjpejgh ryoko kui straight up already told that story in a way that exquisitely fucks??
#dungeon meshi#told yall this fic was crunchy#tfw youre a trans allegory on top of just being trans#mfw i can't even have him struggling with feeling infantilized or seen as weak because kui already did that too!!#cant have shit in dunmesh!!#it's trans allegories all the way down#personally im more interested in how kabru's gender presentation might have caused external conflict growing up with elves#who seem to be coded as generally culturally conservative#happy to see that one post about marcille and her gender hangups floating around because ive been having the exact same ruminations lol#bugs me so bad when people write off trans kabru hc as “people just see him as effeminate and think trans” especially in regards to labru#like no!!! there's layers here!!#youre telling me a queer coded this narrative?#stuffs all the complicated feelings about your body content into laios instead lmao#[slaps roof of car] this bad boy can fit so much body dysmorphia into him#he might have a penis but idk if that makes him cis either 🤔
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saltpep to me is very tragic because throughout the show, we never really see pepper express herself that much. whenever she's doing something with salt, you can constantly see that after she says something, she'll look to salt for approval (for a really good example of this id rec watching fans fantastic features 4), and oftentimes when she's saying something, she's speaking in tandem with salt. in ii16, when she says "salt, i'm latching on!" salt is passive aggressive and dismisses her, and you can see how ashamed pepper is of herself. i could imagine things like this happen often. the most expressive we ever see pepper is in s2e12, when after only interacting with salt for what is presumed to be many years, finally gets so fed up she punches her in the face, presumably killing her (but even then, all of her actions are still revolving around salt). but in the normal timeline of the show, she never gets the chance to get that fed up with her (one very important thing id like to point out is that in the alternate timeline, its very interesting that we dont see oj there at ALL, and i really think thats the difference between alternate pepper and our current pepper), and even in ii18 when salt interrupts oj and paper, pepper finds the need to make excuses for salt, dragging her away. keep in mind that before that moment, the last moment we saw salt and pepper together was salt being passive aggressive to her. pepper has NO REASON to be like this to salt right now, but that's her best friend, her whole WORLD
and that's where the whole saltpep element of it comes into play. through spending so much time with salt, pepper has been conditioned to always do whatever she wants, and doesn't ever have the chance to express herself. i think if pepper ever realized she had feelings for salt, it would be absolutely devastating. not only is there that classic lesbian agony of being in love with your best friend but not wanting to ruin the relationship, but on top of that she knows that salt loves oj, regardless of how many times everyone has tried to discourage her. pepper would never be able to see herself as someone who is worthy of salts love. she isn't a millionaire, she isn't successful, she's just salt's sidekick (and she isn't a man, if we want to play into that aspect of it). so there's her having to constantly compare herself to oj, and then there's also the way she never gets to express herself. her knowing her place as a compliment to salt would make it impossible for her to ever speak up about her feelings. she does whatever salt does, and feelings for salt would be something she knows is uniquely her own. it doesn't matter if they would be perfect together, everything she's been through and everything she's used to would never let her be able to take that leap
#WHOOPS i listened to my love mine all mine a few too many times and thought too hard about pepper and this happened#ive been struggling really hard lately trying to write a saltpep fic and i think this is why i really needed to type this all out#oh pepper how i love you so youre so tragic to me#saltpep#inanimate insanity#ii salt#ii pepper
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D:BH Rarepairsweek 7 | @dbhrarepairs
Day 3: Hank/Markus After the revolution, Markus and Hank are both trying to deal with the new situation they've been handed. Their paths cross.
#dbhrarepairsweek#hank anderson#dbh markus#hank x markus#hankus#??? idk but ive seen someone else at least use this tag so i might as well#detroit: become human#d:bh#dbhrarepairs#aight. this might be the rarest pairing im doing this week. maybe.#IM BRINGING MY HANK/MARKUS AGENDA TO THIS EVENT#IVE BEEN KEEPING IT LOWKEY (the fics are wip) SO FAR BUT. NOW IT IS TIME.#look ive been examining these two in my brains for a while now. it makes sense to me.#you will understand my vision.#i was debating writer a longer caption but once again: i'd let you fill in the blanks for this one#i might make more specific content for them in the future#like i had even more interesting scenes to use but im doing this gifset for now hehe#MY VIEW ON THIS was like. Connor getting more involved in android stuff because he wants to support Markus#Hank relapses a bit with his mental health issues but manages it better than he has ever done before#Markus who is burnt out and trying to find rest and dealing with his own demons#manages to notice Hank's struggles. Helps him out lowkey. Is interested in him.#then TO BE CONTINUED#I THINK THE IDEA OF THEM TALKING IS SO FASCINATING ALRIGHT#also. obv. if you see this as platonic only then that is up to you i cannot take it from you and feel free to reblog i absolutely wont mind#but to clarify: markus would be down bad for hank. that's MY canon. I know it in my heart.
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(tw for racism, pedophilia, transphobia, child impregnation mention)
yeah idk why y'all read this
i was originally going to just post this and have some tags with my reasonings, but i realized that opens me up to too much bullshit from people who may think i'm being unnecessarily mean or whatever. so i'm going to explain exactly why the screenshots above are something i hold issue with.
firstly, and i just want to get this out of the way, this post is not intended to be a hit piece against the creator. i've seen how she reacts to any mild-mannered or slightly joking criticism, so i know this post is probably going to not land well. but it isn't my intention to make her mad or anything--she's writing a piece of content for the internet, which means she is just as open to criticism as any other poster. and what i intend to go into in this post is criticism. i'm allowed to do this, as that is the nature of the internet. people are allowed to critique whatever they please, and if you don't want critique then you shouldn't post. simple as!
i am also making no attempts to posit myself as better than the creator. i'm not doing this for clout or moral superiority or any of that dumb shit. i simply want to discuss something that's been bothering me for a bit, while simultaneously warning people who haven't read this yet (who may be sensitive to the issues above) to steer clear. if things like casual racism or transphobia aren't properly tagged, then readers who are affected by such things run a risk reading this! same goes with people who are triggered by lewd content involving minors. i wanna make sure people are getting a more critical scope of this work than what has been hoisted up by others.
okay, now that i've gotten that out of the way, i'm going to get into my points.
firstly, the subtle and not-so-subtle racism throughout this fic, especially in relation to serizawa. i'm white, so there is only so much i can speak on without trampling over the words of other fans of color, but some of this feels so blatant it's odd it hasn't been noted earlier. it's important to note before i go into it that serizawa is specifically written as half-black half-japanese for this fic, in case the screenshots don't make it abundantly clear. but there are just too many moments of casual racism in this fic. i'm not talking about the plot point of serizawa being bullied as a kid for being mixed; i'm not mixed, so i can't speak on the accuracy there but it is well-known that black people face a lot of racism in japan. i'm talking about how it seems everyone else has these racist moments that aren't acknowledged by serizawa or the narration as being bad.
reigen hypothesizing over serizawa's exact ethnic background is just strange. yes he's a fairly observant guy (he has to be, with his job), but there is no canonical evidence to suggest he would immediately jump to theorizing whether serizawa is american or not. and the way it's posed in that first quote--"he has darker skin and the kind of hair texture that would likely indicate African ancestry"--is not great. that's an extremely inappropriate way to bring up someone's race. i don't think most people would stare at someone and be like "hmmm well your nose shape and hair texture would suggest you're of this race". it's racial essentialization that is only slightly covered up by the excuse of "oh he tweets in english". there are some other smaller moments of questionable wording, like calling serizawa's afro "sloppy" when it isnt (which btw there's another issue with the creator only referring to an afro as a "fro". it's a hairstyle; you're allowed to use the actual name of it). even if reigen cuts his hair in canon, he never states it's because serizawa's afro looks sloppy. (also there's something to be said about the casual racism baked into making your employee cut his natural hairstyle for a job, as that is a very real issue many black people face when wearing their natural hair or even protective styles in the workplace.)
i'm especially bothered by toichiro's very casual racist remarks. toichiro in this fic is a general bother of mine (most of which can be boiled down to "he would not fucking say that"), but the way she chooses to characterize him in relation to serizawa feels gross. calling a black man a slave should be a very obvious red flag, but also saying serizawa (again, as a black man) has a "brutal masculine appeal" is also extremely stereotypical and racist. and really there is just no need for it; toichiro's actions in canon prove how shitty of a guy he is without the need for him to be racist (along with other things i'll get to in a bit). as my girlfriend put it: he doesn't need to be a member of the fucking kkk to show he's a bad guy.
there's also, again, the very casual racist remark of calling serizawa a "dog". i don't care if that isn't the intent; when you are writing a character of color you need to be aware of your wording, even in insults (unless she intended to make tsuchiya racist, which i don't think she did).
secondly, the eugenics/child pregnancy bit. it is surreal to even have to write this, but i seriously do not understand the purpose of either of these bits in the story. they are so minor yet so jarring you can't help but wonder why they're there. once again, i do not think you need to have toichiro doing esper eugenics just to prove he is an evil guy. he has nuance, and by making him casually reference child pregnancy (like that isn't an INSANE thing to say) reduces that nuance to nothing. that's the only reason i could see why that bit was included: to make toichiro look worse. but, even still, the author is running the risk of potentially triggering victims of csa or people who don't want to see that by not properly tagging the mention of it (or, at the very least, warning readers in the intro notes). the only other explanation for it would maybe be shock factor??? but that's a pretty shitty thing to use for shock factor, if i'm honest. also the fact that the esper eugenics was referenced again in a more recent chapter just has me very disturbed and confused. there isn't a canonical explanation for why we see less espers who are women than espers who are men, but that doesn't mean we need to jump to fucking Eugenics. it's weird!
thirdly (and this is probably one of my biggest problems and the main reason i wanted to make this post), the weirdly lewd/sexual language shou uses constantly, along with referring to reigen as a pedo or a creep at several points. frankly, i think it's pretty fucking gross for someone in their near-40's to be writing a 12-year-old talking so casually about sex like that's normal. which, i'm sorry, but it's not. yes, teens know about sex and like to joke about lewd shit. but a 12-year-old is not about to make references to a grown man's virginity. 12-year-olds draw dicks on their desk bc they think it's funny. 12-year-olds say the word "buttfuck" because it has the words "butt" and "fuck" in it, and those are the two funniest words on earth to a kid that age. i literally do not understand the purpose of having shou be so lewd all the time. for one, it doesn't make sense for his character. shou is shown time and time again to be extremely mature for his age, but that maturity extends to shit like assembling a counter-terrorism unit and extending a hand to his father to allow him to try again. and even then he's still just as naive as any other kid his age! the omake where he's telling his guys to go to the "far right corner" based on ritsu’s advice proves that he still has plenty of blindspots that are indicative of his age. leaning into this raunchy, lewd version of shou is just weird. and, again, i think it is made a bit weirder given the author's age!!! not ageshaming or whatever--i'm 23 and i write fanfic, clearly i cannot judge there--but it is just extremely inappropriate in my opinion. also having shou be more versed in sextalk than serizawa is odd too and speaks to a larger issue of serizawa's infantilzation throughout this fic, but that's something i can get into in another post if people want an explanation.
also, the way she constantly calls reigen a creep and even has him being accused of being a pedophile during the twitter cancellation is extremely inappropriate when, again, there is NO CANONICAL BASIS FOR THIS! everyone just calls him a fraud and a scammer during separation arc; there is never a reference to reigen being seen as a pedophile in that arc. and, yes, while there are versions of mob psycho where reigen is very clearly written as a creep (looking very specifically at the netflix adaptation), that doesn't mean it's good. honestly, the creep mentions all just feel like really poor jokes that do not land in the slightest.
finally, the transphobia (aka WHY IS SHIMAZAKI A CHASER). i literally do not know what else to say other than: why? why is this a thing? why is he a chaser? what is the purpose of this? is it a joke? i feel like it's supposed to be, but seeing as the author is cis i don't think that's a joke she should really be making. it not only comes out of left field, but it's just kind of a weird thing to ascribe to a character for no reason. not to mention, it's uncomfortable! trans women deal with enough creepy antics from cis men in real life--why must they be accosted by this guy too? it's just weird and uncomfortable.
i wanna round out this post by saying, once again, that i'm not trying to attack anyone with this post. but i do hope people come away from this with a new perspective on this work, and maybe think twice before recommending it uncritically to someone. to the author specifically, i hope you can read my post without rage or indignance blinding you. i might be a little blunt or rude in parts, but it's only because i'm passionate and i don't mince my words when it comes to things i'm passionate about. to the readers, understand i am not judging you for reading this fic without noticing these things. your own life experiences will give you certain blindspots and there's nothing wrong with that. i have plenty of blindspots of my own! it's what makes us human.
there is more i could say, but this post is long enough. i ask that if you come to me in my inbox or in dms about this that you treat me with respect, as i will do that for you. writing something like this took a lot out of me, as i'm usually not so open about my opinion on shit like this.
have a good day :-)
#mp100#side quest#yeah this is all from <- that fic btw#ive been sitting on this for about a week or so bc ive been nervous abt posting something like this#i dont want people to think im making a callout post just to call shit out#im doing this bc i dont want people to get triggered by this content and because i want fans to be more critical of the content they consum#media literacy is something A LOT of fandoms struggle with and it leads to things being praised uncritically#i simply want people to have perspective when going into a thing#anyways uh. goodbye <3#edit: took the tw tags off bc tumblr was suppressing the post bc of it#so PLEASE heed the warning at the top if u have specific triggers and things
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Hey can anyone like yell at me to go write or something?
Thanks
#cw swearing in tags#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#IVE BEEN SITTING HERE#FOR#FIVE#HOURS#AND NO PROGRESS#NONE!#I HAVE THE FUCKING NOTES APP OPEN#THE WHOLE FIC IS IN A TAB FOR ME TO LOOK BACK AT#I HAVE THE TIME AND I HAVE THE RESOURCES#I hate everythiiiiiiiiiiiiing >:(#me complaining#is this a vent?#i don’t think it is#fic writing#writing is hard#writing#the art demons are struggling#please gods of writing help me#it’s been three months#this one can actually end#they’re my favorite character#their life gets slightly less shit#please—
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ITS TIME FOR @invisobang POSTING WOO!
@half-deadmagicperson and I collaborated to bring you this cover for @coyotecrackers’s wonderful fic!! She did all the traditional art parts and I did the digital!
There’s more to come as we dive into this week, so stay tuned! Check out the fic (it’s so fun!) and Magic’s tumblr for more art!
You can read “The Freakiest Friday” here!
AO3 || Tumblr || Prologue Cover
Summary:
Of all the ghosts that have tried to challenge Danny for the throne, this one takes the cake for having the most convoluted plan imaginable. Not only does he have to fight yet another power-hungry ghost, but he also has to do it without his ghost half and in someone else’s body? This Friday is about to get a whole lot freakier.
#IVE BEEN SO EXCITED FOR POSTING WEEK AAAAAAAAAA#WORKING WITH BOTH OF THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE HAS BEEN INCREDIBLY FUN!!!#YALL ARE GONNA LOVE BOTH THE FIC AND MAGICS ART I PROMMY U#and i have more art to come too :3c#danny phantom#kad collabs#kad draws#danny fenton#valerie gray#and some others cndncndndn#read the fic to understand why i’m struggling to tag i beg you#invisobang 2023
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Ngl with my watching the show fic I have spent every other moment for the last several months wishing I had added some classic who companions to the chaos lol.
Especially Tegan, Nyssa, and Ace.
And now especially given what I'm doing after The Giggle.
Might throw them in there after The Giggle concludes right in time for the interlude, unless y'all think that's a shite idea.
#its a long character list but i pride myself on my ability to balance them out#and ill also ask this question in the authors note of the next chapter for those not on my tumblr#but ive been tossing this idea in my head since i first posted it#literally the first draft HAD them in it but i changed it because i struggled to scientifically rationalize why they specifically were there#anyway#if you have thoughts lemme know#im itching for tegan and ace and nyssa and classic companions#especially for those stories#but if yall hate that idea i wont#doctor who#dw#dr who#classic who#new who#watching the show fic#watching the show#fanfic#fanfiction#tegan jovanka#nyssa#ace mcshane#the giggle
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happy WIP wednesday everyone here is my favorite bit from my ~20k toh post-canon hunter fic that will be finished maybe perhaps sometime in the next 17 years or so.
edit: heres the link :]
#wip wednesday#the owl house#toh#hunter toh#hunter noceda#luz noceda#also the tiniest bit of#huntlow#<- its a mostly gen fic but huntlow nation i am trying my hardest to do you justice. sprinkling it in there. o7#i only have 8k written btw the struggle is real but i WILL finish it#bee post#bee writes#also my first wip wednesday. i just really want to post something from this since ive been working on it for so long#pittwins
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okay I have a 30k kacy soulmate fic for y'all but idk if it flows better as a multichp or a one shot
the struggle is real
#also ficusin if you're seeing this i have your prompt finished as well i just need to finish editing it#but i promise i didn’t forget#anyway ive been struggling like the entire time on how to format this fic help#kacy
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a gift for @t4tfitpac for the @mcytblrholidayexchange! a little bit of fitpac for ya. I hope you enjoy!
(ao3)
-
The trees are taller than they should be.
That plays over in Fit’s mind as he gasps out another breath, air rasping painfully out of his lungs. He leaps over a fallen log, almost stumbling as the sand slips beneath him. The trees loom overhead, tilting forwards and around him. The ocean spans to his right, an everlasting expanse, but somehow it just feels like more trees- like another fence to the shepherd’s corral, caging him in at either side, urging him forwards on a single path.
There is silence behind him, which isn’t right- that isn’t how it happened- or, it isn’t how this happened, but it screams danger either way. Laughing, yelling, (apologizing)- distraction. A level of focus that isn’t pointed at the hunt, at Fit. Silence betrays not only intent, but logic, care for the artistry of violence, causing his ears to prick and his heart to race as he sprints along the beach.
But, despite the silence, he feels calm. Focused. He is FitMC of 2b2t, and this isn’t home.
And any fear there is, beyond the focus, doesn’t feel- real? It’s strange. There’s a level of fuzzy-headed clarity that makes it almost feel like he’s underwater. The trees loom, his pursuers are silent, and he is running.
Something niggles at the edge of his understanding, struggling at the bubble that clouds his thoughts. Almost curiously, he turns his attention towards it. There’s a shepherd’s corral, intense silence, and only one way to run.
Uh oh.
A trap?
Where is he running?
Where is he-
His thoughts are cut off by the sharp sound of an arrow whistling past his ear. It lodges firmly in the sand to his left, followed quickly by two other projectiles that spear into the ground next to him. He keeps running, but this doesn’t make any damn sense.
Who’s chasing him? Where is he running?
The trees are too tall. The forest is to his left. The ocean to his right.
He’s thinking about ice. Why is he thinking about ice?
Snow storm. Green base. He’s leading them home.
He feels another wave of strange calm settle over him as another arrow whizzes past his ear. That’s it, isn’t it? There isn’t just one path, but there is just one decision.
He reaches for his sword with one hand, and grabs for a tree with the other. If he turns and sprints back towards his attackers, he has a chance. If he’s fast enough, he can surprise them, and if he can’t overpower them on this first rush then- well, then he’ll just have to do his best.
But his hand doesn’t find his sword, and his foot doesn’t hit the ground.
He falls into darkness.
And then, all at once, the ground hits him. He catches his weight on his hands and knees, a sharp jolt climbing through his prosthetic and into his shoulder. Every breath rattles out of him all over again. Everything is still dark- of course it is, it’s night time, just like it was night time then, which almost manages to make any sense.
In front of him, there’s silence. It looms. He grits his teeth. There’s nothing for him to do but get it over with; Fit looks up.
He sees Pac.
The moon hangs stark behind him, haloing the dark silhouette of Pac with his windswept hair and bare, bare arms. His hoodie is tied around his waist, the soft blue just barely discernible through the darkness. He’s staring straight at Fit, eyes downright gleaming, and Fit feels breathless.
Pac is also holding a sword.
He is holding Fit’s sword.
Fit’s sword is covered in blood.
Fit looks down. There is no pain, but he is also covered in blood. He has a tear in his shirt and a wound in his chest, just above his heart,. He looks up again to see Pac, suddenly much closer than he was before. It’s still dark, but they’re close enough now that Fit can see the rest of Pac’s face. He’s smiling, eyes creased as he looks at Fit with an expression so fond that it makes something deep in Fit’s chest start to hurt. “Oi, Fit,” Pac whispers, breath warm against Fit’s face. He leans in, and…
-
Fit wakes up.
Fit’s already upright before he knows what’s happening, heart pounding, ears ringing. His hand is pressed hard over his heart, as though he could keep it from beating out of his chest with force.
There’s a lot of thoughts to be had about that nightmare. The- dream? Whatever it was. Whatever it was.
His face is starting to burn.
Fit says, sternly, “That’s not how it happened,” His voice is hoarse, but he ignores that in favour of laying back down. He has the time to sleep, and the safety for it, too, but his heart is still pounding and the warmth in his face is- it’s just a little distracting, okay? That’s it, that’s the only thing. He’s not thinking about anything else. Just a weirdly warm face and a heart that won’t calm down.
It’s fine, and he’s fine, and Pac is-
well. Pac is pretty fine, too.
Fit squeezes his eyes shut and doesn’t get any more sleep that night.
–
“Oi, Fit! You wanted to see me?”
Pac sounds nervous. Fit doesn’t know how to calm him. He’s been filled with a restless energy of his own all day- he hardly even remembers how to think. “Yeah,” he says. And then, “Yeah, I did. Come on in, Pac! Come on in, make yourself at home.“
Pac comes in to Fit’s house. He stops at the sight of the chests. “Uh. Fit…”
Fit doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He leans against one of the chest stacks, all casual-like. “Yeah?”
Pac looks at him, then looks around to the room. It’s not a proper stash- there’s only about four proper chest stacks, and the rest are just double chests set out on the floor next to each other. Any more would be overkill. Because he hasn’t hit overkill already- no, sir, not him. “Are you moving? You didn’t tell me- do you need help? You’re really strong, Fit, so I know you can do it on your own! But if you’d like some help I can help- unless you’re moving to somewhere super secret and safe, then I understand. Um.”
Fit didn’t even realize he’d started smiling until he opens his mouth to speak. “I’m not moving, Pac.”
“Oh,” Pac says. They sit in silence for a moment before Fit remembers that he has to explain at least a little bit.
Hm. Maybe this was a mistake. “It’s not- for me,” Fit starts, stilted. “It’s for you.”
“For me?”
Fit chews on his cheek. Pac waits patiently, not pressuring him at all- just waiting, letting him take his time. He keeps letting Fit take his time. Baby steps, always baby steps, but Pac keeps walking with him. Fit’s heart seizes in his chest and something almost like a survival instinct lashes out in panic. “No- this is- this is stupid. I’m sorry, Pac, I shouldn’t have called you out here at this hour.”
“Oh,” Pac says again, and Fit could kick himself. He sounds so disappointed. “Oh! Well, that’s okay, Fit. But we can still- we can go do something else, if you want? Or if you don’t want, that’s totally okay too! I can just go walk around on my own- maybe find a field of flowers and just watch the sky for a little while, it’s okay!.”
“No, no- you don’t have to- I want you here with me, Pac, really,” Fit promises quickly. And that’s the crux of the problem, isn’t it? Because Fit wants Pac here, with him. But instead Pac is leaving again, off to Purgatory 2. Fit could go with him but, to put it plainly, he doesn’t want to. Purgatory wasn’t 2b2t- the rules, the relatively small playing area, the expected teamwork… and it was pretty nice company, there at the end. It was Hell, but one of the upper layers. The loungeroom before the actual doors. Something still almost lighthearted, when compared to the desolate wastes of Fit’s homeland.
But he doesn’t want to do it again. And it isn’t fair to ask Pac to stay, either.
“I guess I just… I know you won’t be able to take anything with you, probably,” Fit admits. Pac’s lips part a little, but he stays quiet, watching Fit. Still giving him room. Somehow drawing more explanation out of him. “But I thought it might be nice to do some resource gathering anyway. These are all empty,” he adds, further embarrassed. “And we don’t have to fill them all! But I thought-”
He hadn’t been thinking a lot, actually. Or maybe too much? Hidden stashes and piled chests- the need to be doing something other than sitting and waiting. Fit was used to the nomadic life, but there was no enderchest of shulker boxes here- nothing to fall back on, nothing to give. Nothing needed to give, wanting to give anyway.
Pac could take care of himself. Fuck, could he ever.
But-
Beautiful things never last, and Pac is one of the most beautiful things Fit has ever had the pleasure of knowing. So sue him if he wants to spend a little more time with the man before he goes back to hell! Can’t a roommate spend some quality time with another roommate without it being weird?
Pac softens. “You want to grind with me?”
Fit feels a grin crack across his face even as his cheeks start to burn. The tension isn’t broken so much as it’s shattered- Pac is already realizing what he said, ducking his head down and retreating back into his shirt like an adorable tortoise. “Yeah, Pac,” Fit says. He’s reminded of his dream, of how that wasn’t how it went- but maybe a little of that will be how it goes for other people, when Pac is unleashed back onto that battlefield again. Something possessive in his chest makes him feel bold. His voice deepens as he teases, “I’d love to grind with you.”
Pac practically squeaks. Fit giggles. Then they’re both laughing, red-faced, grabbing on to the empty chests to keep themselves upright. It’s not even that funny, but there’s something relieving about the moment. Pac is leaving. Fit is staying. Pac can kill as many people as he wants- he can apologize to them, even, or refuse to kill them. That’s alright.
Beautiful things can’t last forever, but-.
They don’t go grinding, or resource gathering, or hunting. They end up on the roof somehow, looking up at the sky. Soon, for Pac, all those stars are going to be replaced with the red haze of Hell. But the rose bushes are red, too, and so is the flower that Fit -very normally, and very calmly- tucks behind Pac’s ear.
He won’t be able to take the flower with him. It’ll wilt before he gets back, dead and dry and crumbling between Fit’s fingers. But there will be more flowers. More quiet evenings with his roommate at his side.
Sometimes the end of one good thing is just the pause before the beginning of another. For now, Fit enjoys a beautiful night.
#qsmp#fitpac#qsmp shipping#qsmp fic#sorry this took so long to get to you!!! i was having some struggles#i attempted to write many firsts and that stopped me up more than i was expecting it to o7#anyway ive been putting on fit in the morning to try to Absorb his voice and#yeah. yeah. i see why people are like that about fitpac i see why its consumed so many#shape words
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i genuinely hope that nick and tua’s relationship feels like its progressing naturally given the context of what theyve been through, their respective ages, and the genre itself… like we’re nearly 200k words in, they’ve both seen and experienced so many horrible heartbreaking things, and theres also the matter of a young child being involved… i think its Fine but i do wonder. anyway i want to try and write/post the next fic before tuas birthday in late december so i can focus on nuka world/gen4 au next year 🫡
#txt#vaultblogging#i also wonder how it rings for tua as a character bc nick is a very open romantic-#-but tua presents as mostly independent and more reserved#ive always tried to make it clear that tua’s outward personality is intended to protect that need for connection and love#and that bc of everythings shes been through that need has just kind of scarred over.#theres a lot they struggle w in the last fic as far as dealing w the possibility that nick is dead and feeling like a worried housewife#and i think that unsteadiness comes from being in a relationship that is truly equal and also the abandonment side of things.#anyway whoever reads mystery meat id love to know .
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Me when I get forced out of consuming spider-man fan content because its ALL tainted TO THIS DAY by all the ppl who thinks he acts like "m-m-m-mister stark im scared 🥺🥺" and even for Peter outside of the MCU fandom, the fanon MCU peter effect bleeds onto them too
#and the thing is I will defend MCU peters character time and time again#when everyone thinks of mcu peter they think of his fanon not his canon#i hate what c.2018 mcu fandom made him into#the thing was I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE#Ive grown to hate what i once was#although i wasnt all that into the canon back then anyway just the fandom stuff bc it was my first fandom#its impossible to find fics true to his ACTUAL character#and the thing is i never got super into any of the alternate spiderverse spider totems or that fandom#i have no other options#Peters always been my guy i just cant read abt him#anyway i guess i gotta go read my comics for content#(i struggle to read comics so hard like just the style of it)#spiderman mcu#spiderman#spider man#peter parker#fanon vs canon
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