#ive been struggling really hard lately trying to write a saltpep fic and i think this is why i really needed to type this all out

[sagethegremlin]

saltpep to me is very tragic because throughout the show, we never really see pepper express herself that much. whenever she's doing something with salt, you can constantly see that after she says something, she'll look to salt for approval (for a really good example of this id rec watching fans fantastic features 4), and oftentimes when she's saying something, she's speaking in tandem with salt. in ii16, when she says "salt, i'm latching on!" salt is passive aggressive and dismisses her, and you can see how ashamed pepper is of herself. i could imagine things like this happen often. the most expressive we ever see pepper is in s2e12, when after only interacting with salt for what is presumed to be many years, finally gets so fed up she punches her in the face, presumably killing her (but even then, all of her actions are still revolving around salt). but in the normal timeline of the show, she never gets the chance to get that fed up with her (one very important thing id like to point out is that in the alternate timeline, its very interesting that we dont see oj there at ALL, and i really think thats the difference between alternate pepper and our current pepper), and even in ii18 when salt interrupts oj and paper, pepper finds the need to make excuses for salt, dragging her away. keep in mind that before that moment, the last moment we saw salt and pepper together was salt being passive aggressive to her. pepper has NO REASON to be like this to salt right now, but that's her best friend, her whole WORLD

and that's where the whole saltpep element of it comes into play. through spending so much time with salt, pepper has been conditioned to always do whatever she wants, and doesn't ever have the chance to express herself. i think if pepper ever realized she had feelings for salt, it would be absolutely devastating. not only is there that classic lesbian agony of being in love with your best friend but not wanting to ruin the relationship, but on top of that she knows that salt loves oj, regardless of how many times everyone has tried to discourage her. pepper would never be able to see herself as someone who is worthy of salts love. she isn't a millionaire, she isn't successful, she's just salt's sidekick (and she isn't a man, if we want to play into that aspect of it). so there's her having to constantly compare herself to oj, and then there's also the way she never gets to express herself. her knowing her place as a compliment to salt would make it impossible for her to ever speak up about her feelings. she does whatever salt does, and feelings for salt would be something she knows is uniquely her own. it doesn't matter if they would be perfect together, everything she's been through and everything she's used to would never let her be able to take that leap