#ive been at my limit for too long | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thedeliaishere · 9 months ago

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#recently ive had this image in my head of just walking about as normal and then just collapsing #honestly emotionally I feel like it could happen any moment #ive been at my limit for too long

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incredubious · 4 months ago

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MODERN AU ACESAN !!!! first impressions with a guy who barely passes the No Shoes No Shirt No Service rule

#acesan #one piece #portgas d ace #sanji #monkey d luffy #comic #ive been meaning to make this comic for like a year Btw. and it got stunted for 6 months cuz I couldn't get past a part that was like #Slightly too ooc for my liking without fuckin up the whole thing even tho its already stupid as is ANYWAY. SOLVED IT OBVIOUSLY so yaaay #i spent so long on it and it still had mistakes. but gues what I Fucking Ball #also initially posting this on twitter was such a headache because the alt text limit is so Small so i was like ok Fuck My Life i guess #anyway. blow s a kiss to the crowd. Enjoy my insanity

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shaadowmilkcookie · 2 months ago

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One of Shadow Milk’s many prop replicas of himself, left behind. Even though the eyes are forever staring straight into the distance… Oddly enough, you still feel like you’re being watched.

But surely, though, it won’t hurt to take it home and touch up the colours, right? :)

#oh. my god chat. do i have a lot to say now #IM LOVE HIM #oh my god #fhis is the only time ur gonna see me say i love shadow milk directly and not his art HAHAHA #FUCCKKKKK #this one rlly has me messed up #ive been sitting on this concept for a long while!!! i just cant rlly nail the vibes that i want for it… but mroe than anything i want to #show him to you guys.. so issok if yall see the flopfail before i learn how to better capture my mental image #oh it’s so possessed. btw. like not even a second of thought has to be put into it #LMAO #physical vessel for the shreds of his essence that managed to avoid being sealed up. it’s not enough of him to do anything crazy…#but just enough to put you on edge :)#golden freddy pose shadow milk (i will be drawing this some day)#his ability to move is really sporadic #sometimes he’ll be right in the middle of attempting to make a gesture and then he’ll collapse mid movement… darn #(kicks him) fuck you #i think he’s….. cute.#haha.#okay #shadow milk cookie #cookie run kingdom #mystuff #cookie run #crk #crk fanart #cookie run fanart #fave #is it egotistical to put a fave tag on MY OWN ART yeah probably BUT U GUYS DONT. GE T. HOW MUCH I LOVE THIS VARIANT #doodled an oc x canon w this concept in class 2day n realized too late someone wuz watching me draw…………… man.#IM AT TAG LIMIT????? FUCK MY LIFEEE I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT WAS A THING. BYE LOL!!!!!

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pbnmj · 2 years ago

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assorted sketches (personally very obsessed w petermj rn and the fact that the 2020 run of noir colored his hair/eyes as black/grey. peter parker the man that you are....)

#ive been away from the loml for far too long. i drew peter's hair parting the wrong way around OTL WTFFFFFF #its fine. ITS FINE (<- dying)#spider-man #spiderman #peter parker #mj watson #mary jane watson #petermj #spider-man noir #noir #pete #mj #my art #also the fact that u can tell what my mental state is like from the amt of drawings in my spiderman folder #noir 📈 i'm coping #also the reason peter is colored like that is cause the lead artist on the 2020 run did that all with like.#gouache and pencil on toned paper (had to google to find out it was haunting me)#WHICH IS LIKE. HELLO??? its so cool but also. WHAT. the commitment to the style is actually so. WOW #so its mostly i believe a limited pallette and a result of that. but. black hair/grey eyes peter is like. making me very. very. sick

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killemwithkawaii · 8 months ago

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Alright, the kewk classic 'face hole' design it is~ 📊✅

"Ain't he a doll?" 💋💦💕

And now while I fuck with this anatomy sketch 5ever, we gotta decide on a background! I'm thinking Sal would prefer to do his love-sick swooning in the privacy of his bedroom, but where, exactly? 🤔

'The bed'-

Perks: seems more routine, sowft snuggly nest to daydream and swoon in, [darling] collage on the wall, '... okay, what have you been doing with that pillow...?'

Drawbacks: Limited space, have to take stability/sinking into account with props, perspective is Hard and I will make that headboard look good or die trying

'The floor'-

Perks: seems more impulsive, more yan/NEET clutter potential (more room to spread out), a glimpse under his bed (and at all the [darling] stuff he's got shoved under there)

Drawbacks: That carpet is UGLY, I will probably (definitely) bite off more than I can chew trying to fill all that space with props, it hurts my Everything just thinking about lying on the floor like that for too long

'Secret third thing'-

....???? idk you tell me lol

#sally face #sal fisher #love sick sally #tw yandere #tw unsanitary #sorry steve #lime #(just implied a little ((for flavor))#im laughing at the potential of the 'secret third thing'#planking on his dresser? Chillin like a vamp on the ceiling?? Sliding up the wall like a slug???#Periodic reminder: Your only artistic limitation is your own imagination...~🌈♾#i gotta come up with a tag for this redraw so all the posts can be dug up later #i was gonna just make a chain of reblogs with the original post but decided it would get waaaaay too long by the time im done #im so flattered that yall chose the face hole design fr qwq 💖💖💖#I'd have been happy either way but it was a close race for a while and im just pleasantly surprised 🥺💗#side note: ive recently been going down an OG l/oony tunes rabbit hole (bu-dum-tss) so if my doodles start lookin more cartoony thats why #k.e.w.k. x sally #(I'll probably be doing little selfship doodles on this at almost every stage of this redraw bc it sparks joy and i deserve it uwu 💙)

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jokzs · 2 months ago

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majima demo and a spyuo

#kinda remembered i am not limited to just posting full art and can just kinda drop some doodles n leave i guess!!!#ive been thinking about a majima demo for a long while and im 100% certain someone already thought of that too #tf2 #too scared to tag yakuza or majima idk leave me alone #tf2 spy #tf2 demoman #my art #jokz doodles #also WOAH about the previous post i am SHOCKED it got that much attention ily yall it means the world to me!!!#iloveyappinginthehashtagsokay

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faaun · 5 months ago

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i feel rly sad and conflicted abt one of my best friends on earth but idk who to ask for advice bc i usually would have consulted her in this situation lmao

#shes cool and i dont want to lose her and i know Logically i love her but atm i feel so strange towards her #and idk what to do abt it bc i know in the past ive like...over-communicated a lot and over the last few yrs ive been trying to not do that #bc thats an anxious impulse i think .so like . self control #AND IMPORTANTLY . i may actually be the problem here ?? ok again i love her i dont want to lose her etc but basically ive noticed a pattern #which is that whenever she gets a bf/a man (even fwb) in her life she basically stops talking to me and the limited interactions we do have #become abt him. and while i support her it is acc too much. like we barely talked while she was w her ex bf until he became abusive and #then we talked a lottt like all our convos understandably were abt him . and then when they broke up we kept hanging out so i didnt rly see #the pattern there but still she seemed to centre men a lot in her life like sbe was excited to not date and find herself and then #immediately afterwards started seeing this other guy with whom shes basically in a relationship now #hes nice and all but like . HES ALL SHE TALKS ABT . actually we barely talk atp but when we do its abt him #she sends me reels sometimes but its all abt being jealous abt him etc . and shes bi but she said she doesnt like the idea of dating women #bc theyre scary . and i thought she was kidding in the ohhh women r so beautiful that theyre intimidating way but no she was being entirely #fr . she explained jts bc she was bullied by a girl in the past but like...bro ur ex bf literally abused you like surely you see men are #capable of just as much harm? but obvs who she dates is her own choice . but anyway she has consistently made plans w me then cancelled the #like an hr before . or asked to call me and then proceeded to not do so . when i ask her to meet/call its the same she just doesnt respond #or she cancels ? and while i understand anxiety sucks it feels SO WEIRD STILL . maybe im the problem slightly too bc ik i have no right to #feel this way but it rubs me the wrong way that ik she has so much time to spend w him/calls him all the time despite meeting him just a fe #months ago whereas i just have to like ...be ok w not actually having talked to her for a long time #its gotten to the point where when she says do you wanna meet/call i automatically respond yes and then just assume it doesnt happen . like #there have been several times over the past few months i double booked plans over when we were supposed to call/meet bc i was sure she #wouldnt show up and ive been right each time #like she sends me texts that she misses me or im her best friend etc etc occasionally and then acts rly . contrary to that ?#ive talked to her abt the issue w cancelling on me twice btw. when i was still dating the situationship person she would get sooo mad at #them for not respecting my time and shed tell me i deserve better etc etc and then like . she doesnt seem to respect my time at all #anyway she said she understand and she admits to like...being flaky etc but does nothing abt it #and its not like i can tell her to stop caring so much abt men bc we sorta had convos like that b4 she got This involved w this guy #and apparently it did nothing and the last thing i want is to police her relationships or get in her way #its just AUSHD AUGH #anyway i rly miss her it just doesnt feel the same at all anymore

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todayisafridaynight · 7 months ago

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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months ago

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#its sort of funny. i think my medication is working pretty well. i feel stable in a way i never really have before #is it the dopamine stablizer or is it my ion channels? whos to say. it doesn't matter. but it also doesnt change some things #the ways i think and react negativly to change. but it makes it easier to deal with. i still experience this strange dispaire on the #weekends or anytime im not working. i think the oddest thing is thst i dont think ive ever been this consistenly sad #not in a depressed sort of way. just a passing thoughts make me tear up sort of way. it doesnt feel out of control. it just feels like a #prelude to grief i guess. bc my mum is still in the hospital and its so hard to kno what that means from halfway across the country #my sisters are both home right now. they both live within 3hrs of where we grew up. one sister lives in the city my mom goes to for #treatment. so they have the opportunity to see her more than me. i dunno if they do tho. we dont really talk. i dont kno if they're as sad #as i am. if im overreacting bc i cant physically see what's happening. what the feeling is in the room. not that she would probably complain #shes the suffer in silence type. my dad keeps texting us pics of our shitty lil sunroom that hes redoing #to make my mum a lil sanctuary. he must be sad too. its his wife. hes staying with her in the hospital rn. i dunno its so weird #when i talk to my counselor she assumes i find out info thru calls or talk to my sisters abt it and i gotta b like nah we dont really talk #i get my info thru text. i havent talked to my parents on the phone in like a month. i dunno we just dont talk. so i dont kno how to reach #out and be like yo so whats up? shoulf i plan on coming home this summer for a bit?? like???#this is the disadvantage of leaving thr place where you grew up. probably when i finish my phd i should move closer to home #somewhere in the Appalachian mountains maybe. somewere in the eastern deciduous forrest. somewhere with thunderstorms.#but thats years from now. who knows what ill b doing. for now im just sad and tired and i dont quite kno what to do in the short or long #term bc im feeling the weight of my mental limitations rather intensely. but maybe im just being self limiting #whatever. i dont have a dead mum yet. shes not even on hospice care. things are just uncertain and dont look so hot #i just dont see how it can get better from here when chemo gave her secondary blood cancer and shes still full of tumors #i dont think im being that dramatic. it just objectively seems not great for survival #unrelated

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savage-rhi · 4 months ago

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Magenta kinda?

#this heat wave has been a blessing and curse #it hit 110 earlier #my neck of the woods is used to peaking at 105 and nothing higher than that #this shit is unheard of for several days straight #right now its 93 and this past week ive had no physical pain cause of fibromyalgia nor flare ups #i haven't felt this in a long long time #this feels like heaven i can fucking move and be active without feeling so limited or bed bound #but the heat and humidity have given me bad headaches and heat exhaustion is legit #I'm keeping hydrated staying shaded and not overdoing things physically #but fucking a it feels like a dragon is snoring right in front of my face #the power company killed the grids earlier cause of fire precaution it took like 4 hrs to get it back on #and I'm marinated in sweat rn #if the headaches could go away I'd be dandy af even though i feel gross #magenta #magenta is my vent word #not magenta but some other pink variant #trying to write but its too hot for brain #been reading and crocheting in the meantime while getting over headaches #i need to live somewhere where the winters arent horrible and the summers are hot but not excruciating #i need a personal terranium #thats what i need #hope everyone is doing good and staying safe if youre in a heat wave too

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serendipitous-mage · 8 months ago

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its the Good Kush she got it at the dollar store :3

#i did this! :D!#extremely unfortunately ffor my hands i realized earlier that ibis paint x has an animation canvas #rip me #sketti #doodles #animated doodles #gifs #i hate animation i hAte animation i want to do so many things its so cool 😭😭#i so very rarely have the energy/motivaation to do just *one* drawing let alone 5000 of them but Slightly To The Left #eugh #used a tutorial thing have had in my saved folder on insta for ages for the smoke #to be clear that is a ✨joint✨ not a cigarreette #my wrist hurts so much #full time hasnt been fun ive had to avoid playing games because the controllers hurt too much #trying to limit typing even and just mostly watch things when im off work #which gets boring ;w;#theres so many things i want to animate i cant even beGIN #from full on like..legitimate movie length shit from my books #to little gifs of really dumb memes #music videos etc #everything in between #i just get so frustrated at how long it takes #and am always so tiired:((((#but i!! made this:3 #in like an hour too i think #shes goin in my reactions folder #fursona

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crystalis · 1 year ago

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i feel sad about not belonging anywhere and being small/invisible and like.. idk who i am

i feel really regretful of my life but idk what to do or how to change anything

or i mean i know what i need to do but i feel like i cant or im too scared .. and lately ive been frustrated with myself bc ive been experiencing that "trapped inside my head" feeling really intensely where idk how to speak to articulate thoughts and it feels painful

#ive been thinking a lot about getting a job i want a job so so so so bad but im so fuckig scared i seriously cant even describe how afraid #i feel like my social anxiety has gotten so bad over the past several years to the point that its unrecoverable ajd i need to #kill myself #i feel that way about everything wrong with me #ive just been stagnant for too long and its festered to a point of no returning #and like the worst thing about this is feeling like im on a time limit bc i need dental implants.#ive been wearing dentures for like 5 years now and already experienced a lot of bone loss in my face #i have to get dental implants for too much time passes without teeth but i need a lot of money for that i and i need to get a job to hav mo #ney but i cant get ajob because im too scared and incompetent #dude i want to kill myself so bad its unreal but i wont bc i couldnt do that to my mom #and i want to live.. because i like looking at beautiful things and listening to music and #talking to myself and imagining things #idk i wish i could cry or something but cant cry about anything

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spidersunny · 2 months ago

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i kinda should talk about bpd symptoms with a professional at some point so that i can adopt healthier thought patterns and not end up in a terrible headspace every time i am alone thinking for too long but also the thought of TALKING about SYMPTOMS with a PROFESSIONAL makes me want to blow up! i’ll get there though

#unfortunately it is going to take a long time to get there but. someday #it’s specifically bpd symptoms ig because i feel the most shame around them? and i understand them the least #i just really need to learn how to regulate my emotions i guess #and not let myself be so irrational #i can barely accept the fact that i probably have bpd even though ive displayed symptoms for so long sigh #learning about quiet bpd kinda made it all click into place though #like ohhh wdym it isn’t normal to be in intense internal emotional pain every single day and unable to snap out of it #but it has been impossible to ignore recently which sucks #i’ll go back to feeling actually okay eventually and then convince myself i don’t have bpd again (this has happened so many times)#oh lord i’ve written a whole essay. this should’ve gone in my journal but it’s ok… typing it all out in tumblr tags is therapeutic too #i could literally just keep going forever (or maybe there’s a limit idk)#meowww #ok nvm i need to sleep #bpd vent #diaryposting #this post will be revisited if i start therapy

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nomairuins · 3 months ago

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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.

#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing #but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day #while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes #and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her #but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work #and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to #but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat #what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me #and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even #b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it #i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified #theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying #but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly #idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me #me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in #that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i #saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage #for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god #idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week #and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice #i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel #hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in #touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment #a2t #i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it #graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol

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subatomicskud · 4 months ago

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Ah this Vasovagal thing is gonna be for life, great.

#getting medication sorted for it soon just shit it took this long and several docs blaming it on stress and then not doing anything else #but it severly limits the kind of jobs i can do and activily looking for a new one as we speak #cause sick of ending up in A+E with my current job #two years of this and i cant do it anymore just really hope i can get into an IT apprenticeship soon #also cant drive with this so looking to see what disability aid i can get financially or other wise #maybe eventually can look into getting a service dog especially cause i have to plan my days carefully so i dont pass out when im outside #im just glad i finally at last seen a doc that had a name for what ive been experiencing #instead of just oh thats worrying too bad so sad

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raksh-writes · 1 year ago

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Me, unable to play, because its been 30+ degrees Celcius for over a week now and my room is absolutely awfully hot even without my PC sweating:

Maybe I should multiclass my Ranger with a Druid 🤔🤔

#baldur's gate 3 #video games #Raksh posts #tbf Ive been 50/50on which to choose wgen starting the game #but the Renger just speaks to me #I need my wood elf with a long bow doing insane damage yknow 😂#but today I learn Druids can apparently shapeshift into a sabertooth tiger? I neeeeeeed #Ive read some guides and this is prob not an optimal build or anything but the RP and fun element!!#and its prob better to experience a full class on the first playthrough buuuuuut #a wood elf ranger druid!! Ive already been building up a nice backstory to my character and both having familiars And a wildshape fits #I could do like maybe 8 into ranger as my main and 4 into druid for the wildshape??#Im already at lvl so maybe I could respec now so next lecel I get 4 in both and then finish up with ranger 🤔#I dunno theres so many options ahhhhhh #also Ive been wondering if I should multiclass Astarion into a ranger too #give him two attacks and the gloomstalker is apparently very good so itd fit I think 👀#having these two in my party makes my options otherwise very limited so making my MC mote versatile seems a good option too hmm #for now Im going around with Shadowheart and Lae'zel in the mountain pass and might stay this way #anyway this is just a random ramble while I wait until it cools down enough to let me play 😂#there's some clouds approaching so - fingers crossed 🤞

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