#two years of this and i cant do it anymore just really hope i can get into an IT apprenticeship soon
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Ah this Vasovagal thing is gonna be for life, great.
#getting medication sorted for it soon just shit it took this long and several docs blaming it on stress and then not doing anything else#but it severly limits the kind of jobs i can do and activily looking for a new one as we speak#cause sick of ending up in A+E with my current job#two years of this and i cant do it anymore just really hope i can get into an IT apprenticeship soon#also cant drive with this so looking to see what disability aid i can get financially or other wise#maybe eventually can look into getting a service dog especially cause i have to plan my days carefully so i dont pass out when im outside#im just glad i finally at last seen a doc that had a name for what ive been experiencing#instead of just oh thats worrying too bad so sad
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my sister has taken to calling really fucking normal ass opinions "radically liberal" and i am so so so tired. so unbelievably tired. i thought university was supposed to turn u into a leftist, not just give you more language to shit on leftist politics. what the fuck.
#like. ''police hurt people sometimes'' or ''addicts are people too'' or ''homeless people should be given shelter somewhere''#i think those are fairly normal baseline opinions to have. and yet!!!#idk man i think i am going to do something very bad to myself soon. im so fucking tired. i cannot keep this up for much longer#literally i am getting physically ill these past two weeks. like i took a covid test today bc i thought maybe i somehow caught covid again#but no its just. stress. and everything. im having dizzy spells where i cant hold myself upright and almost pass out ???#i am nauseous and shaky 90% of the day??? its not hunger related either (although the nausea gets worse after eating lmfao)#like i just. i cant do this. unfortunately im the fastest crocheter in the system so nobody else can take over#which puts me in uhhhh. well. a lot of danger if im honest. i dont do well w this month ever.#usually have lots of huge memory gaps and occasional blackouts. so im not feeling well from having to be front constantly this year#i just. idk. idk! theres nothing to be done for any of it and i just have to hope I survive it i fucking guess#really being pushed past my limits though. i can count on one hand the amount of times stress has made me physically sick.#this is scary honestly. call me scooby the way i cant fucking doo this anymore!!!!!!#suicide mention#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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ok so how are we…
If this is about the new Taylor album...
The feelings are complex and they are not good. I don't want to upset anyone though because I know that a lot of people are enjoying the album and I love that for them!
I will just say I was personally really disappointed by it, and I was going into listening to it thinking this was going to rekindle my love for her, instead it was kind of the opposite. I've been a fan of hers since the debut album, but started to distance myself when all the really intense craziness happened last year. I was so excited to be blown away by the album and just... wasn't which then led to this whole identity crisis because liking Taylor was always "my thing" the number of texts I got today from people I don't talk to regularly or haven't talked to in a while was actually insane, everyone was like "are you so excited!!" and "don't you love it!!" while my close friends were like "I'm sorry." I feel so dramatic and parasocial saying that though.
I saw a review on Stereogum that I think did a good job putting a lot of the same thoughts I had into more concise words. Maybe it will grow on me, but every time I try to do another listen I end up skipping to the next song halfway through.
Sorry for bringing the mood down! I hope you're doing well and had a great Friday! I appreciate you checking in and hope you have a lovely weekend!
❤️Ally
#allylikethecat#ask ally#anon ask#keep it kind#tw taylor swift#this is just my opinion!!#i dont mean to upset anyone and i dont mean any harm#i was just disappointed because like i feel like the album could have been so much better#and felt very let down#also not gonna lie i did feel for matty but im glad his people said hes doing well#also i hope joes mental health is getting better#what makes me REALLY MAD though is that i even kinda felt bad for Travis? like i cant stand him but wow id feel weird if my gf#released an entire album about being obsessed with her ex like she put out that tweet saying she was much happier and the past was the past#but like still this was like a lot#not even just one album but TWO ALBUMS#idk i just im sad im disappointed and i wish i could go back this time last year and how excited i was about her music#i have tickets to see her in august and i dont even know if i should go anymore#like im feeling so weird about it all im like should i sell them so someone who loves her like i used to can go?#idk
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#i had a really good energy day. i was awake at 8 in the morning and hung out with my mother in law from 10 to 4#we went shopping and got food and it was a really good day#but it wasnt enough. the moment i got home i realized how tired my body was and i took two naps#i woke up from my last nap over an hour ago and i still feel like im in a twilight state of consciousness#im so tired but my dream was ao vivid and real despite being nonsensical that it freaked me out and i dont want to go back to sleep#but im also so emotionally fragile and cant watch videos without something making me want to cry#im supposed to go on my honeymoon in two weeks to disney world. objectively not a good place to go with low energy and weak muscles#but i wanted to go back so bad and didnt want to keep putting it off since i might be like this forever#yet the idea of me getting this exhausted each day is making me wonder if im wasting our money and that we wont have fun bc of me#like this was the best day energy wise ive had in almost a year and i feel this awful now. how am i supposed to last a week at disney?#we've been spending 3 years waiting to have money and time for our honeymoon#ugh. im not ok. i just want a new body so i wont feel like im dying every other day#im just hoping that we chose a good time to go to avoid crowds as much as possible to reduce the chance of getting covid#bc i cant just keep waiting for covid to be gone to do things. i can mask but i cant stay home almost all the time anymore or else i will go#insane#i want to just live life and not constantly worry about getting covid from going to a store but i also dont know whats wrong with me#and wont see my specialist until december so i dont want to get really sick and mess up my health even more#i havent gotten covid yet though so hopefully that will continue. triple vaxed and it seems to be working for me#i'll still be careful though but i hope i have the energy to have fun bc these past 3 years have been trying to kill me with trauma
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somethin' stupid - oscar piastri
summary: carlos sainz's sister, y/n, owns a bakery in barcelona, and during the spanish gp, she begins to see a certain face a little more
a/n: there is no face claim so imagine y/n as you wish!
liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, and 16, 287 others ynbakery Make sure you head into the bakery before the Grand Prix this weekend (don't worry, I will NOT be selling whatever Carlos is making)!
carlossainz55 Plenty of people will want the pancakes I made 😡
landonorris Don't worry Carlos I will try some ynbakery landnorris Get a room you two
carlossainz55 Best bakery in Spain!!
user52 aww carlos is so supportive
lilymhe barca weekend + y/n's pastries = heaven
ynbakery LILY I LOVE YOU
user91 i may not have tickets to the gp, but i do have 3 euros to spend on y/n's famous muffins
user67 I'm so ready for all the drivers to be at the bakery HAHA
liked by ynsainz, oscarpiastri, and 82, 932 others lilymhe the fia need to make barca the only circuit all year round purely because of y/n's pastries tagged: alexalbon, ynsainz, ynbakery
ynsainz you are welcome at my bakery whenever you wish
alex_albon If you haven't had that croissant, you haven't lived
georgerussell63 Real
user28 Y/N'S BAKERY!! PLEASE SOMEONE GET THE GRID IN THERE
user63 IF OSCAR WENT HE WOULD LITERALLY BECOME OSCAR PASTRY LMAOOO
user59 lily and alex are so cute i cant
liked by oscarpiastri, lilymhe, and 33, 209 others ynsainz slide 3 trigger warning tagged: carlossainz55
landonorris HAHAHA
carlossainz55 hermana...
ynsainz sorry king I had to do it
oscarpiastri Will the bakery be open all weekend?
ynsainz yes all days except for sunday!!
user74 y/n you are so beautiful
lilymhe Such a pretty girl 💜 liked by ynsainz
view oscarpiastri's story...
tagged: ynbakery
liked by ynsainz, charles_leclerc, and 3, 726, 198 others scuderiaferrari Raceday pancakes?
ynsainz SOMEONE STOP CARLOS FROM THIS PANCAKE BUSINESS I CANNOT DO IT ANYMORE
user87 i'm crying 😭😭
charles_leclerc I think we should leave the cooking to y/n
ynsainz I agree thank you
landonorris I've never seen someone look worse in an apron and chefs hat @ carlossainz55
user22 what is carlos' obssesion with pancakes...
user98 RACEDAY PANCAKES?? GET THEM IN THE FUCKING CAR
liked by oscarpiastri, charles_leclerc, and 44, 827 others ynsainz race day bitchesss 😎 #idratherbeatmybakery
oscarpiastri I'd rather be at your bakery too
lilymhe excuse me oscar but i was just abt to comment this
user55 y/n clutching up with the charlos pics
user60 sorry but umm oscar??
scuderiaferrari End of race pancakes?
ynsainz STOP NO. NO MORE FUCKING PANCAKES
liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 2, 198, 277 others oscarpiastri Barcelona recap ft. a non-edible y/n croissant
mclaren 🧡
ynsainz hope you enjoyed the gift!!
user87 Y/N GOT OSCAR A JELLYCAT
user52 wake up babe, oscar piastri is making moves on his enemy's sister
carlossainz55 ...
user98 IM SCREAMING
user53 official y/n bakery verdict?
oscarpiastri Really really delicious
liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, and 11, 727 others ynbakery Aaaaaand we're back open! First twenty people in store receive a free muffin from our new range!
oscarpiastri Yummm
ynbakery oh hey pastry boy 🥐
landonorris Oh we'll be stopping by then
user61 we?
lilymhe breakfast, lunch, dinner, and my snack are now sorted for the day (please never close again)
ynbakery I think we need an honorary lily cookie...
view oscarpiastri's story...
tagged: ynbakery
liked by charles_leclerc, ynsainz, and 4, 982, 129 others carlossainz55 Proud to be back at home, we go again 👊
scuderiaferrari 🏎️💨 liked by carlossainz55
oscarpiastri Great race brother
user50 we really got oscar complimenting carlos before gta 6
landonorris Sexyyy
user81 Carlos Sainz the man that you are
user93 thoughts on y/n and oscar 😏
carlossainz55 No thoughts.
view ynsainz's story...
tagged: oscarpiastri
liked by landonorris, alex_albon, and 17, 823 others ynbakery For everyone asking if I can get Carlos to bake some things for the shop... NOOOOOO he only makes pancakes 😢
carlossainz55 They are good pancakes y/n
ynbakery yeah okay.
landonorris Don't let him anywhere near any machinery, you're whole place would be shut down
ynbakery HAHA carlossainz55 Says the man who won't eat fish
liked by lilymhe, ynsainz, and 2, 822, 376 others oscarpiastri My girlfriend is a baker so does that mean I should change my username to oscarpastry? tagged: ynsainz
ynsainz yes i think it does
oscarpiastri Good to know
user44 Y/N AND OSCAR MATCHING JELLYCATS??
carlossainz55 @ ynsainz Are you making pancakes without me
oscarpiastri Don't worry we followed your recipe 🤣 ynsainz oscarpiastri OSCAR DON'T EXPOSE ME
user92 GIRLFRIEND AHHHHHHH
landonorris I am praying for your well being now that carlos is technically your brother in law
oscarpiastri Thanks mate
please let me know if you liked this, i know it's been a while since i last posted! reqs are open!!
#oscar piastri#oscar piastri smau#oscar piastri fanfic#oscar piastri x you#oscar piastri imagine#oscar piastri fluff#oscar piastri x reader#op81#op81 fluff#op81 x reader#op81 imagine#op81 fic#formula 1 x reader#formula one imagine#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fic#formula 1#formula 1 x female reader#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#mclaren#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fic#f1 fanfic#f1#formula one x y/n#formula one x you#formula one x oc
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auburn!!! i’m so glad that over these five years (half a decade wow 🤑) your work and most importantly your amazing personality has grown to receive so much recognition and love. i’m proud of you and i’m glad we’ve known each other for so long 🫶🏽. i hope your work continues to grow and you continue to do amazing things and be generally pretty cool. okay thats too much sappiness bleggh poop fart shit fuck ass ☝🏽
erm anyways i would like the chocolate swirl bread slices with brown sugar bubble tea in the special 3k event cup with cat cap… rubs hands together like fly…
would also be cool if the reader was FTM and/or was not-so-subtlety avoiding leona for any reason
DANIEL YOU BUTT THATS THE SWEETEST THING YOUVE SAID TO ME IN FIVE YEARS AND YOU END IT WITH POOP FART SHIT FUCK ASS????? ANYWAYS this almost made me cry what the fuck i feel like a baby bird leaving the nest even though im older than you. i cant believe we're like adults now. what happened to being weird ass teenagers on quotev dot com. i cant say i miss that era though but i do miss kaomoji IDK WHERE HALF THE FRIEND GROUP IS LMAO anyways thank you for being my friend mwah you are a real one you have seen me at my worst and stuck with it IDK HOW YOU DID THAT anyways your lion man
an order of romantic angst with leona kingscholar!
Leona watches your back as emotions he would much rather not acknowledge fester and boil in his chest. His tail flicks, his ears twitch, and it’s obvious to everyone around him that he is exceedingly annoyed.
That’s not the shocking part, however.
It’s the fact that he’s annoyed with you, the one boy in this whole school he never should have felt that way towards.
Leona wouldn’t be so annoyed in the first place if it wasn’t for the fact that you’d been inexplicably ignoring him for the past few weeks. As petty as always, Leona was sure he could outlast you, ignoring you in much the same way. He was good at being nonchalant, at taking it easy even though his affection shifted to bitter resentment.
Could he really call you someone close to him if he’s starting to genuine dislike you?
Nah, it’s not like he should have expected anything in the first place. He turns on his heel and walks off in the opposite direct of you, tail flicking lazily behind him. If you don’t want him anymore, that’s fine. If he’s not your number one anymore, he’ll just grin and bear it, bear like he always has and always will.
He thought he had something just for himself. How naive could he be?
Leona scowls, digging his hands into his pockets. If he sees everyone else in the hallway giving him a wide berth he doesn’t show it, his vision laser focused on Savanclaw’s dorm, his room, his bed, where he can sleep and ignore his reality for a little while longer.
The reality that you were so clearly avoiding him, the reality that you probably didn’t want him anymore, the reality that he was finally number one to someone and now he wasn’t.
Leona was once again second, but when there were only two people in a competition, second was the same as dead last.
#sorry not sorry for the yapping tumblr people#daniel is one of the og ogs we have much lore to discuss on the regular#auburn's 3k event <3#auburn's fics <3#twisted wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#leona kingscholar angst#leona kingscholar#leona kingscholar x reader#leona x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#disney twst x reader#disney twisted wonderland x reader#male reader#ftm reader
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fallout tv show ghoul discussion
the only thing i dislike about the show is their retcon of ghoul lore- everything else is a banger i had a great time but the lore changing the ghouls baffles me, as it retcons and changes literally every other game in the franchise. its funny, im not mad about it, im ok with the show having different lore than the games. i just hope they make it clear that its an AU kind of thing haha mainly because if someone gets introduced to the series from the show, and they go off to play the games, theyre going to be confused. so, what are the changes? well-
in fo3, theres an entire side mission involving the underworld, where the ghouls there really hammer in that the rumors like; that they regen and so can only be killed by headshots, that they eat people, that they can go feral at any point, and that they're zombies.
all of this is just propaganda spread by the brotherhood and bigots to justify murder and genocide.
none of it is true. they bleed and die like anyone else. but in the show, these things are not rumors, and they are completely true. cooper constantly has to take this drug from a vial that prevents him from going feral. theres no explanation on where this medicine came from, who makes it, whats its made out of, etc.
so, while in the game, turning feral is unknown, seemingly at random (theories range from genetics, lack of socialization, insanity, radiation exposure, and time) and ghouls dont just- randomly turn feral. but in the show its enevitable and therefore the hate towards them is justified. the only things that are special about them is that they; age much, much slower than non-ghouls, that they can heal faster using radiation. (to my knowlege, they still need to be patched up. they do not just regen. they can still get shot to death, or maimed. they just heal a little faster.) and they need more potent drugs, as it doesnt affect them as strongly (mentioned in fo3 by some ghouls in a subway) the changes made in the show heavily changes the stories of a few characters and places in the entire series.
for fo3: changes the entire underworld. these ghouls cannot leave this place. if they do, they're shot and killed immediately by the brotherhood nearby. they discuss how they're discriminated against. in the fo3 dlc, point lookout, the ghoul there presumably hasnt left the manor he lives in for well over 200 years. he wouldnt have access to these vials. tenpenny tower. their ban on ghouls would be justified then. the entire narrative involving the water purifier and putting the serum in that will kill off all mutants. with the changes the show makes, the decision whether or not you do this has no weight and eradicating mutants becomes justified. for fallout new vegas: dean domino. he hasn't left the Sierra Madre in over 200 years. he wouldnt have access to these vials either and would have probably gone feral a long time ago. for fallout 4: diamond city. diamond city's ban on ghouls wouldnt be an issue anymore. since in the show, ghouls cant die aside from headshots, the ghouls being thrown out into the wastes to the elements wouldn't really be as heavy of an issue.
(i cannot comment for fallout 1 and 2, as i am not as knowledgable about the ghouls in those two games. feel free to add on in reblogs if you know more about them than i do)
i love the show, i think its awesome. im basically consuming it now with the idea that its canon -within its own story and lore- and is separate from the game itself. cooper is a badass and the changes work for the show itself, not so much the entire series. which is fine in my eyes.
#fallout tv series#fallout tv show#fallout tv show spoilers#fallout#fallout tv show discussion#fallout amazon#ghoul discussion#feel free to add/critique more of what i said#i like discussing this its neat#theories are awesome too#dont be a dickass about it being “bad” this is just a discussion for fun#its not that serious
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pairing ; leehan x gn!reader
genre ; obviously fluff!! :3
warnings ; none (probably)
a/n ; hi im back hehe SORRY I TOOK A HUGE SUDDEN LEAVE LOL, but i hope i can be more active <3
you and leehan had been dating for a little over a year now. though you both havent hung out for awhile since his schedule was so packed due to his idol duties. you always texted him asking when he would be able to hang out again, but of course, he would either be in dance practice, recording variety shows, recording new songs, or he would be on tour. you knew he always tried his best to make time for you, but its especially hard because of his schedule. you knew it wasnt his fault, but you couldnt help but feel sad.
you woke up this morning, ready to just spend another day with your usual cycle of doing absolutely nothing but scrolling through your phone all day.. and maybe waiting for a text from leehan?
you had just finished breakfast, you were just sitting on your couch as you scrolled through tiktok while sipping on your coffee ( or any preferred drink! ). you were mindlessly scrolling, until .. ding! a notification– FROM LEEHAN?!?!?!
–
–
and just like that, he left you on read. you chuckled to yourself, “where could he be taking me?” you muttered to yourself with a small grin on your face. you got ready, dressing up, but not too much. you looked at yourself in the mirror as you did your hair, and put on multiple accessories to see which ones suited you better. you finished up as you smiled, you cant help yourself but feel super excited cause leehan was finally taking you out!
you waited for him as you made sure you had everything you needed in your bag, powerbank, hairties, bottled water, hand sanitizer, tissues, and–
ding dong! the sound of your doorbell. you quickly zipped your bag up and dusted your clothes off before getting up and rushing over to the door. you practically yanked the door open as you saw your boyfriend, leehan, standing at your doorstep with a bouquet of flowers.
he had a slight rosy hue on his cheeks as he smiled, “flowers.. for you?..” he muttered as he handed them to you in a flustered manner. you smiled at him and leaned in and hugged him tightly. he couldnt help himself but hug you back. “i missed you..” he muttered into the crook of your neck as you feel his warm breath against your skin. you both pull away gently.
“soo.. where are you taking me, hm?” you said as you trailed behind him to his car which was parked in your driveway. “just wait and see!!” he replied, he seemed really excited. you were still curious as he didnt budge to tell you where he was taking you.
–
an hour of driving passed as you arrived to a building.. it was an aquarium! you smiled as you looked at him. “aquarium date?” you said to him with a small smile on your face. “mhm! are you excited?! i’ve always wanted to take you to an aquarium!” he said as he drove to the parking lot. he parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt as he got out of the car and opened your door aswell. he held you hand as he helped you out of the car as you both walked into the building.
upon entering, he opened his phone and showed it to the security as they scanned the qr for the tickets as they both let you in. hand in hand, you both admired the aquarium and its atmosphere together. even though it was rather crowded, you both felt like it was just the two of you. as you walked, leehan kept talking about the fishes there, giving you fun facts and everything. you didnt even have to read the descriptions of the fishes anymore, cause leehan had it all covered :)
#soubeomies#fanfic#kpop#kpop fanfic#boynextdoor#leehan#bnd#bnd x reader#bnd fluff#bnd leehan#boynextdoor x you#bnd x you#boynextdoor x reader#boynextdoor fluff
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-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143
pairing -> lee minho x fem reader
synopsis -> after a bad breakup, y/n needs to find a new place to live. although she's grateful for her best friend, up-and-coming model hwang hyunjin, for letting her stay at his, she can't keep living with him and his model roommates. so when an opening for somewhere nearby with cheap rent opens up, she jumps on it, despite knowing next to nothing about the 3 other tenants, only that one owns 3 cats. the three quickly learn of her breakup, determined to help get her back on her feet. but what happens when one of them begins to develop feelings?
warnings -> general, feelings of anxiety, punches r thrown
MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT
CHAPTER FIVE -> BAD BITCH ENERGY (partially written! wc:722)
"Actually, I can't do this!" You exclaim, anxiety gnawing at your lungs as you get closer to your home.
"Yes, you can." Minho drives on, not sparing a glance in your direction.
Sooner than you hoped, you're there, staring at the pale yellow door through the passenger side window of Minho's car. The house looks no different than when you left, only you can see your flowers drooping slightly in the window. Although you'd only been gone less than a week, it felt like a million years. This place was no longer your home; you didn't know if you had one anymore.
"Just- can we stay parked here for a second?" You try to squash the tight feeling in your throat, constricting your words to a whisper. "I'm not ready."
"No offence, but I don't really wanna waste my gas sitting here all day-"
"Yeah, and that thing I left for you was actually kind of important-" Beomgyu chips in.
"I basically stood someone up for you, so you better not chicken out-" Han gives you a pointed look.
They all stare at you and you have to look away, hide the tears welling in your eyes. You're going to disappoint them if you don't go, just like you disappointed Seonghwa, just like you always do. You never should have asked them, never should have burdened them with this-
"Hey." Minho shifts his body to face you better and you glance over, eyes falling to your hands. "How about we come with you? Would that make it better? Easier?"
You look up at his question, tears now threatening to spill over. "Yes, please."
"Shit, she's gonna cry again!" Beomgyu laughed uncomfortably. "Y/n, c'mon, it'll be okay, don't worry! You've got us. Now, wipe your eyes and let's go. Can't have your ex seeing you this distraught over him, can we?"
"Bad bitch energy," you say in a broken voice, words NingNing has tried to engrave into your very brain over the years.
"Bad bi-" Han waves a hand in the air. "Yeah, sure, whatever you say."
You wipe your eyes, trying to muster every bit of strength you have to see him, placing a hand on the door handle. A wave of fear washes over you again when you start to push it open, the boys following suit.
But then you slam it shut.
Han groans loudly and sits back down, Beomgyu and Minho doing the same.
"What happened?" Han asks, exasperated. "Where's the bad bitch energy or whatever?"
"I'm sorry!" You can't look at them. "I'm sorry. I can't-"
"Enough with the 'I cant's' because yes, you can." Minho turns his whole body to you again, grabbing your chin with two fingers, and making you look at him. "He broke your heart. He hurt you. So, yes, you can go in there, reclaim your things, and never have to see him again. There's no reason for you to even think about him after this." He can tell you're not fully convinced. "How did it feel to see him with the other woman?"
"It felt like my heart shattered into a million pieces," you say. Minho opens his mouth, but you continue on. "Then he took those pieces, ground them up into a fine powder, and scattered them to the edges of the Earth where I'll never find them again. It felt like the ultimate betrayal because I knew I gave him everything and trusted him, but he clearly didn't do the same. Or even close."
You sit up straighter, squaring your shoulders.
"Yes, there, that's it." Minho smirks, eyes widening ever so slightly.
"And the way he thought I'd be the one cheating?" You're anger flares, skin heating up. "As if I didn't tell him how much I loved him daily? As if I wouldn't be too busy working on something that I was proud of that he didn't even let me talk about because, 'oh, honey, we both know your career isn't going any further'."
Anger leads you out of the car and to the front door before you can register your feet moving, pounding a fist on the door when the spare key is nowhere to be found, mumbling every wrongdoing he's committed.
You are furious.
And your hand moves on its own when Seonghwa opens the door.
notes -> do NAWT mess w miss y/nnie. she WILL beat ur ass.
notes pt 2 -> didn't mean to post this! so accidental extra chapter today lmaoo
taglist -> @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @puppyminnnie @tfshouldidohere @kangaracha @chlodavids @whitney190 @thisisnotjacinta @borahae-reads @brooklynie @gini143 @kayleigh-28 @skz-streamer @babyphotos0325 @scallywag1299 @venusmoonxnight @naomisosoup @fertiliezedtoesw @s00buwu @realrintaro @anothershorthuman @skzstaykatsy @ilovejeongin007 @btswestan @taeriffic @ihrtlix @raehawthorne @euphoric-univers @hyperpixie @evermourning @satsuri3su @jazziwritesthings @minhwa @wyzminho @fic-for-readers @dreamerwasfound @imsiriuslyreal @lailac13
L^^^ orange means i can't tag you
#-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143#skz#stray kids#skz smau#non idol au#stray kids smau#lee minho x reader#lee know x reader#lee know smau#lee minho x fem reader#lee know x fem reader
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not right - lando norris
pairing - lando norris x reader x mention of charles leclerc.
summary - an anniversary dinner goes wrong, or does it?
warnings - swearing, slight angst, sexual mentions, fluffy at the end.
a/n - ahh my first post, pls lmk any tips you have as this is my first ever fic ive ever written. i hope you love itttt!
You knew it was wrong, theres no way it wasn’t wrong. Turning up at your now ex’s bestfriends apartment at 11pm wasn’t on your to-do list for tonight.
It started when he came home late from work, you made an amazing dinner for your 1 year anniversary.
“ y/n i’m home.” his voice was gentle but filled with tiredness, as if he hadn’t caused you hours of stress and worry.
you don’t reply, you just stay wrapped up on the couch, still in your outfit but makeup noticeably smudged.
“y/n whats wrong mon amour? ” he says just above a whisper, smiling at you.
“ Don’t mon amour me, I’ve been sat here looking stupid for 2 hours Charles, two fucking hours! ” you shout, finally rising from the couch.
his brows furrow, charles slowly walks over to me and tries to grab your hand.
“ baby don’t be like this, i wasn’t gone long and we can eat now! ” he laughs as if nothing has happened, making you even more furious.
“ eat? eat what, the cold pasta or the stale bread? i’ve been waiting forever, worrying about where you are. Not even a phone call, why do you keep doing this to me every night? ” you run my hands through your hair and walk towards the shoe rack, grabbing your heels and throwing them on.
“i cant deal with your shit anymore y/n, i have a life you know, and it doesn’t revolve around you! ” he points in your face, eyes darker than ever and teeth gritted.
your breathe hitches and you feel tears welling in your eyes. you walk out your apartment door and slam it.
And thats how you got to where you are now, stood outside of his bestfriends apartment, debating whether to ring the bell or not. After ten minutes of anticipation you finally ring the bell.
“ y/n? ” lando’s eyes widen and he puts a hand through his wet hair.
you just look at him in delusion, as if nothing was real, were you actually stood in front of him or was it in your imagination, had you really left your boyfriends apartment and come straight to his friend for comfort. Nothing felt real to you.
“ y/n look at me ” lando grabs your face and makes you look at him, wiping the smudged mascara from under your eyes.
his voice is filled with so much concern and seeing his face looking down at you with so much worry is exactly what it takes for you to finally break.
“ it went so wrong, the whole night went so wrong” you fall into his arms sobbing, clutching onto his shirt like you were begging him not to let go.
lando puts an arm on the small of your back and walks you into his apartment, slowly sitting you down on the couch next to him.
After telling him what happened, and eventually calming down, your actions become a reality and you finally realise where you are.
you stand up of landos couch and straighten out my dress, looking round the room.
“ i’m sorry i shouldn’t have come here, charles is probably waiting. ” you smile and walk towards the door and grab my jacket.
“ y/n, do you not remember why you came here? ” he walks closer to me and places a hand on your cheek, sending butterflies through your stomach.
you just look at him in awe, something inside you takes over, you grab the back of his neck and put your lips on his, His kiss was too addicting.
it was almost everything you craved for. The way his lips moved on yours, the soft moan that slipped from his lips, and how his gaze had settled on you. His hand roamed around your body freely as if he knew it like the back of his hand.
you snap out of the trance he had you in, finally thinking about the actions you were doing.
you pull away and throw your hand over your mouth, putting your other on your stomach, feeling violently sick that you had just cheated on your boyfriend with one of his bestfriends.
“ i cant do this lando, i have a boyfriend ” you bite my bottom lip anxiously and turn quickly on my heel.
“ do whatever you thinks right y/n ” he smiles at you softly, making you nearly drop to my knees.
you smile back and walk out of his apartment door, walking through the streets of Monaco full of guilt, but also full of wonder.
what were you going to do?
#charles leclerc#f1#formula one#lando norris#lando x reader#charles x reader#formula racing#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#charles lechair#lando#lando x you#lando x y/n
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dont smile - oikawa toru
(credits @strangergraphics-archive for the divider)
word count- 508
angst
"hey hey! iwa my phone" oikawa cried reaching for his blue cladded phone that was now in the steel grip of iwa's hand
"no, i am deleting their contacts right now, im sick of your incessant whining about them, you broke up with them" he seethed angrily, shoving his hand away, already opening oikawa's phone searching for their contacts "really? pretty thing? that what their contacts were? god" iwaizumi judged clicking the information button ready to delete it
"you cant do that, thats a invasion of my private life" oikawa yelled reaching for the phone "what if they need me! what if they cant contact me because of this!" he tried to reason coming up with stupid excuses to leave their number in his phone because he just wasn't ready to actually break the bound they once had stitched so closely together, he wasn't ready to never be able to have a direct line of communication to them at all times
"if its an emergency they can contact the emergency services, and they have plenty of other people they can call" iwa easily bushed the concerns that oikawa had already seeing though his ploy to come up with stupid excuses because he wasn't ready to let it go
"if you wanted to keep this, you shouldnt have broken up with them, but no, things got to real when graduation is around the corner and you are too scared to grow up and face the fact that relationships will have hardships" iwa kept pushing, he was sick and tired of constantly hearing about his stupid relationship and how he was in it for the long run because they were, but then two weeks ago what was stupidly tooth rotting because incessant whining about how the relationship would break apart once he moved to Argentina
oikawa stood there breathing heavily staring at iwa, the anger in his eyes, the sharp stinging anger was enough to remind him of how they looked when he told them he wanted to break up
'i just cant stay with you anymore' he stood out front of their single apartment handing back the key they once gave him so he could enter the apartment when he needed
'the hell do you mean 'ru, i cant believe you're doing this after 3 fucking years, this is ridiculous' they scoffed ripping the key from his hand 'you know what? i hope you get what you dream of in this life but i hope i never hear your name ever again
he remembered the moment all too well, the moment he realised this wasnt some nightmare he had frequently, this was happening. he just broke up with the one person he loved and now they are out with some other guy while he is sitting here begging his best friend to let him keep their phone number because with out it he knows he'd dig himself into a hole that will be inescapable
he needs to get them back, he needs his oxygen again, he needs them back.
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu angst#haikyuu oikawa#oikawa toru#angst no comfort#r-riri#oikawa x reader#oikawa toru x reader#x reader#short fic
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42 behind the lens — curtain call !
epilogue
scaramouche x gender neutral reader
It’s at the times between recording scenes where you really get a glimpse at your lover.
His sweat stained hair and tear stained cheeks from a rather intense scene never get old. You were feeling rather fond as he made his way over to you, falling into your director’s chair and heaving a heavy breath. The only one other than you allowed to sit in it.
For a mere moment, you both simply look at each other. You guys were on break so a few conversation topics come to mind, it wasn’t often you guys got to speak as lovers rather than coworkers during work. And while they’re all things you’d like to talk to Scaramouche about, you realize you don’t need to force conversation with him.
There’s a hue of weariness that shows in Scara’s eyes, but you can tell that he’s happy. He’s doing what he’s been striving to do for all his years at university, so of course he is.
You search his dark eyes for his thoughts, too. When your eyes meet Scara’s he let’s out a tired smile.
“I missed you,” he easily says. The words come out easier than they would’ve years ago.
Your heart skips a beat, even years later.
“How? We’ve been working together all day,” you say.
“Do I need a reason to miss the person I love?” Scara scoffs, looking away from you to study the script he brought with him.
It isn’t the first time Scaramouche had told you that he loves you, but it’s never stopped holding the same weight it did the first time he’d ever said it.
It’s a rare type of love. The kind that exists so rarely for people in this industry and that lead lives similar to your guys’.
His loves makes you feel alive everyday. And Scara should know it, you should tell him more often—even if it’s rather dramatic for midday on set for their most recent project. It’s something you’d bring up at night that you two could laugh about in bed. Even if it catches Scara off guard.
But Scaramouche’s love caught you off guard, too, and every second you got the privilege to spend with him was a gift.
And as you stare at him, fiddling with the sleeves of his costume and eyebrows scrunched as he mouths his lines, you couldn’t help but feel your heart grow heavy.
“I suppose you don’t,” you reply, a minute too late, but Scara still chuckles at your response as he tosses the script aside.
“What? You’re not going to say it back?” he teases, “And I thought I was the emotionally constipated one.”
“Oh, fuck off,” you mutter, hitting him on the shoulder, “I love you, too. I guess.”
“Archons, you’re worse than me.”
“No, you were much worse when we were younger!”
“It was hot and mysterious when I did it.”
“Uh huh, just go back to set I’m sick of you.”
“Weird way to say you agree but okay.”
“Go!”
.
.
.
୨⎯ THE END ⎯୧
behind the lens !
masterlist — prev
author’s notes — and that’s a wrap folks! hope the ending wasn’t awkward i just wanted it to be short and sweet. anyway, thank u to everyone who read and kept up with this fic, means a lot to me that this blew up as it was smth i wrote for myself. if ur rereading this or are a reader in the future ty to you too! i appreciate the silent readers, anons, and ppl who left me sm cute comments and reblogs. u guys made writing it more fun and easier to ignore the not so nice ppl. i cant reply to everyone but just know i do read every ask and comment i get! i do hope to see u guys in my notifs in the future even if i don’t write for genshin anymore, but if not then i’m glad you gave my writing a chance <3 have a great day/night byebye
synopsis — you, better known as STARDUST, and BALLADEER have always been in competition for the top streamer spot on twitch, which is especially impressive since the two of you have never shown your faces. you’ve never been on good terms, constantly one-upping each other in matches and getting into petty arguments on twitter, causing your fans to also dislike each other. that’s until BALLADEER does a face reveal that breaks the internet with his good looks…which makes you realize it’s the same guy you went on a date with last night. the type of date that made you crave to see him again. the only problem was he didn’t know you were STARDUST and he was way different behind the lens than he portrayed himself online to you. should you keep your identity a secret to salvage the relationship or just let him go?
taglist — @captainzep @elysiumarchieve @plinkuro @sakkakuu-squared @eliqusgenma @vuvulia @kunikuzushiit @ins4nebish @stxrgxzxr @lilacponds @uma-umie @mitsukifilms @caesars-bubbles @wheneverthesunrise @its-like-twilight @kazuhalvrr @erosdevil @thenightsflower @p1utto @noodleshark420 @lxry-chxn @court-jester-stuff @lauragalliart @veyu002 @kaeyas-eyepatch-69 @leathernourishingshoepolish @courtneydefender @drunkwithfever @exhaustedcommunist @vincanzu @ainlaw @ovaliz @kitsuvil @whatamidoing89 @celestair @kunihaver @kazioli @xiaosoneandonly @cridtiins @cherrybeomgyu @asukahiriko @moon-320 @orionicchaos @cartierfiles [1/3]
#behind the lens smau#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x yn#scaramouche x reader smau#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche smau#scaramouche x gender neutral reader#genshin smau#genshin scaramouche
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GOOD LUCK, BABE! #3 ⋆ 정국
what happens when you leave everything behind, only to be faced with it again years later? eunbi is convinced she was given another shot at keeping all she ever wanted, but it’s difficult when that all is her childhood best friend who doesn’t want to do anything with her anymore. how to earn his trust back?
☾ pairing: non idol!jk x fem!oc
☾ genre: childhood friends to strangers, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut
☾ word count: 9k +
☾ warnings: explicit language. say hi to eunbi!!! and to the friend group!!! its a bit funny until it becomes angsty … ouch. jeongguk is a bitch lowkey. pun unintended (you’ll see). theyre dramatic as hell. like bro it cant be that serious 😭. im sawrry for this. and its not all!!! see you in fourth chapter 🫡
☾ author’s note: hi hi hi!!! this took a bit to fully convince me but in the end it did. i was frustrated because i felt like i couldnt really use my words properly to tell the whole thing but… here we are now!!! thank u!!! enjoy 🫶🏻
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three ⋆ this is me trying
Up to that point, Eunbi’s life has been a constant adjusting to new surroundings, leaving bits and pieces behind, getting attached to new ones, and hoping they wouldn’t be taken away from her. It would always end up as she feared it would, though. From as early as she can remember, Eunbi would live off her blue backpack, where she gathered a toothbrush, a change of clothes and her favourite plushie to help her sleep and adapt faster to the smaller bed at her dad’s house. When her parents had divorced, it had been a rough patch before the both of them could come to a legal agreement; that being, she would spend the weekend with her father, and then stay with her mother again until Friday rolled around.
She rarely looks back at those days now, but when she does — mostly at night, her mind seemingly incapable of putting a stop to her furious flow of thoughts and just sleep — she thinks if it hadn’t happened to her when she was still pliable and mouldable, when she was yet to be met with what ordinariness was supposed to look like for others, she wouldn’t have been ready to wholly face all that followed. Eunbi was young when she learned that love between two people could end so easily, and her innocent self accepted that as the norm.
As a result, what she found harder to accept, more than her own mother and father not even being able to stand next to one another without ending up quarrelling, was having to leave her small black poodle in Gwangju, with her grandma, after moving away to Busan. Curly (little Eunbi had given him that name for obvious reasons, and to this very day she finds it dumb, but it makes her giggle nonetheless) had been a great companion through the inevitable loneliness she had to face as an only child. She was convinced he could understand her better than no other, even when she would force the tiny creature to sit and listen to her ramble on.
Busan was the next big change that was pushed onto Eunbi, only a few years after her mother got engaged to a man that would soon replace her biological father: with time, sleeping over at his house for the weekend was no longer even a contemplated thought on his side, coming up with excuses after excuses as not to, and that slowly led to showing less and less interest in keeping up with her and meeting up. The little girl had always been numb in relation to such negligence, and because of this she could consider herself lucky in some distorted sense; it didn’t affect her as much as it should have.
Part of that was also due to her step-dad being a great father figure during the initial times of his and her mom’s relationship, making sure to adapt to Eunbi’s pace and boundaries, never overstepping while also being able to bring fun into her life by taking the family out to visit places and eat delicious meals. What he couldn’t do for her, however, was live with a dog. When he and her mother decided to finally move together following their wedding, they both agreed on wanting to restart from a brand new place. Busan was their perfect pick for a variety of reasons: her mom got offered a job at a recently established company that seemed promising, and her step-dad could fulfil his deep-rooted dream of expanding his by starting a new branch.
Every single thing about him seemed perfect to her mom’s eyes, even if he was apparently deathly allergic to dog’s fur. And, of course, she picked her husband over Curly. Eunbi couldn’t believe it, nor accept it. The girl cried over the small dog for the two weeks prior to moving, during the trip to Busan, and for the following days there. Her grandmother would keep her updated by sending pictures of Curly through email, and even after the scar had healed, those would never fail to make her tear up.
As shameful as it might be to admit it, after having dried herself from half the water that made up her body because of the constant crying, it didn’t take long for the scar to close. When she first stepped foot in the big city by the seaside, Curly showed up right in front of her. Just in human form. Big eyes, long black hair and puppy manners, her neighbour was definitely sent to her by something greater. Eunbi was obsessed. It didn’t show at first, her pride prevailing. But it was harder and harder to fight against it. Jeongguk was simply too easy to love.
They became inseparable. Wherever he was, better believe she was there too, attached at his hip. And if they showed up alone, people would naturally ask about the other. Because the moon is never seen without its stars, and sunflowers only ever turn to face the sun. Their bond could be perceived by anyone as unbreakable, a friendship to envy and wish for, and every brick that built it had resulted in the creation of their own safe haven that only had space to contain the two of them. Not anybody else could be let in, the bubble exclusively recognised their password. It wasn’t composed of words, or numbers. It was the look of understanding they would share; the white lies used to cover the mischief of the other; their own handshake, accompanied by an original friendship jingle that Eunbi came up with randomly; the assurance that they could reveal their biggest secrets to one another, and they’d be kept like an oath.
There’s many of those that Eunbi shamelessly revealed to Jeongguk, some with intent and others unleashed spontaneously during their many endless talks. But when she thinks of it, she never admitted the single one that really mattered, the one that her best friend in the whole world needed to know, and remember. At all times. In any circumstance. It wasn’t a secret, it was more a result of her pondering; it came to a full reasonable thought only years later, and by then it was too late to tell him.
Eunbi thinks, and she’s sure, Jeongguk was the reason why all that came before the two of them had to happen. If it didn’t, she would have spent her whole life looking for that missing puzzle piece: under the cushions of the couch, in between her bed sheets, accidentally thrown away in the bin. It was as if all the hardships she experienced were justified, because at the end of the tunnel Jeongguk was waiting for her. And everything finally made sense. The puzzle was complete. Jeongguk was the reason himself. He was sent to teach her an important lesson: everything happens for a reason. There’s a cause and an effect, and even if the cause was suffering, at least the effect was her favourite boy.
Then, a gust of wind had wiped the puzzle to the ground, every single piece losing its place. When her best friend was taken away from her, she stopped being so convinced with the thought she herself had harboured, because she suddenly couldn’t find the meaning behind such a cruel fate. If everything really happened for a reason, then what was it? Jeongguk helped her see colours, only to return to black and white. Leaving him behind had marked the death of a version of herself that she would never get back.
Seoul was big, and harder to adjust to, even more with the baggage she was now dragging behind. Unpacking it, she found out all she had brought with her was a shattered trust and a soon to be broken promise to never get attached again. It was hard to be faithful to such an imposition, when Eunbi was born to give out love. It was hidden in that luggage, in between fears and regrets, but surely present.
And it prevailed in the end. Even at a slower pace, love found its way up and helped a lost Eunbi navigate the big capital city, promising new beginnings and healing. She found that in the faces of people that she would then start to recognise as friends, inside warm cafes during the coldest days of winter, and in the certainty that no matter where she is, she is always looking up at the same moon.
What she has built in Seoul so far feels the closest to stability that she has experienced in years. Starting university and meeting Dahye was the last bit of convincing it took to make her consider once again that a reason could exist, and that in the end it would make sense. Maybe not totally. Maybe just partly is enough after all.
Until, seeing a pair of familiar starry eyes in the midst of dull ones was all she needed to firmly believe in what she had been finding hard to accept. It took one shared look for past and present to get blurred together, and the mixture of old with new feelings created a mess. It was nice, nonetheless. Better than the seemingly impossible to get rid of emptiness at the pit of her heart.
Behind her eyes, Eunbi could see the puzzle slowly reaching its final form again, this time with more missing pieces, but the image was at least recognisable. When Jeongguk showed up in front of her again like magic, she contemplated becoming religious. Getting to her knees and starting praying to whatever greater force was shining on her path to please keep doing that. None of that showed on the outside, her smile breaking and mirroring the expression on the boy’s face. Pure sorrow. She knew she was probably the last person on earth Jeongguk wanted to see, and the fact that he wasn’t even trying to mask it didn’t help.
The most rational response she could come up with at that moment was to act as if nothing ever happened. And then, the bricks that a long time ago held together their safe bubble were being used by the boy to raise a high wall between them, making sure accessing his space would be impossible for Eunbi. Who could blame him? Still, the happiness she shamelessly felt when Jeongguk showed up at her 20th birthday party was too consuming, she selfishly wished for the rest of her birthdays to always look like that as she blew the candles. Nonetheless, when he suddenly left sprinting on his bike she knew the gods would need time to grant her desire. Although, this time around she had faith.
She doesn’t know how long it would take for it to break, though. September getting closer and closer only means that Jeongguk’s birthday is just around the corner. As part of his friend group, she had been involved in the process that led to organising the surprise camping trip, even if she didn’t exactly participate. After all, she doesn’t get to say she knows the boy better than anyone, anymore. Jeongguk has evidently changed, and as a consequence she knows way less about him than the others.
For that exact reason, Eunbi had made various attempts to back down from the trip, fearing her presence could significantly ruin it for the celebrated boy. At first, she tried to be casual about it with Dahye, since she’s the only one she’s opened up to about the whole dilemma, “I think it’s better if I don’t come. After all, it’s a friend trip. I’m not really his friend.” To which her roommate only replied with bullshit, proceeding to type away on her keyboard. That did not help whatsoever.
Then, the night she was too tipsy to take a taxi back home and Jeongguk had offered her a ride on his bike, she came home with a smile on her face only to burst out crying in front of a just as drunk Dahye. In between sobs, she begged to be left out of the trip, “Ple- Please, Dahye. He hates me. I can’t stand it.” Her friend tried to shush her whines, pushing Eunbi’s head on her chest and consoling her, “He doesn’t, baby. I’m sure he doesn’t.”
As a result of that night, Dahye had then sat her friend down with the intent of fully convincing her to be present for Jeongguk’s birthday trip for a number of reasons, “It would be rude to not show up after he was there for your birthday. And also, what if you two end up talking about… things! And everything gets solved! That would be nice, wouldn’t it, Bibi?”
Eunbi had just nodded all the way through the motivating speech, not really understanding nor believing her words, but apparently they were enough to lead her to the present moment: awkwardly squished between Dahye and Jimin on the couch of her flat, while they animatedly converse with the others to approve on the trip schedule. She has never felt so out of place before, not only because she doesn’t feel like she has a say in the whole discussion, but also because as time went by the two friends by her side kept shifting to subtly get closer to one another, not realising they were compressing her body in the process. To the point she is forced to get up, the position she was in being too uncomfortable, and sit on the ground under the couch next to Namjoon.
She can feel her movements being followed by a pair of curious eyes, and when she looks up to meet them, she finds out they belong to the origin of all her worries. Before Jeongguk can divert his attention elsewhere, aware he was caught observing, she gives him a quick tight lipped smile. It goes dismissed, as if it hadn’t happened. Ouch. It’s okay, Eunbi can take it. She used the few days prior to this to mentally prepare. She knows she’s not exactly welcomed anywhere near him, that’s why she made a silent secret pact within herself: whatever happens during the trip, don’t be a bother to Jeongguk. Stay away from him as much as possible, and if not possible, then do anything to avoid putting that frown on his face, exactly the one he’s sporting right now. On a second thought, if just looking at her gets him to react like that, maybe it’s best to mentally wipe that off her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip.
With there still being a day left before their minibreak takes off, the girl can already tell it’s going to be hard to follow the flow of that list, Jeongguk making it obvious her presence could have been avoided before the vacation has even started. Still, she remains composed and brushes off what had just happened, instead focusing on the main topic of conversation.
The group (Hoseok) has decided to meet to go over the schedule one last time because, “Everything needs to be perfect, guys. We can’t afford to slip!” It’s still Hoseok talking. Eunbi learned that he had always been the one in charge of organising events and little getaways when it came to the friend group, his obsession with keeping everything under control coming in handy in such scenarios.
Not only that, but the reddish haired guy is also amazingly quick on his feet, and in a relatively short amount of time he has managed to find the perfect excursions and experiences to go over during the trip, making sure every day spent together would be filled with fun activities that he knows the birthday boy is going to look forward to. In between what he has arranged there is cycling, canoeing, trekking, and more stuff that Eunbi can’t keep up with. Surviving this is going to be made ten times harder by the amount of energy that is going to be expected out of her. She sighs at the thought, looking down at her manicured nails. She just got them done, and now they would surely break.
It takes a few seconds for her to realise the sudden silence that fell above the room, and when she looks back up she’s met with eleven pairs of eyes staring at her. She straightens her posture, suddenly too aware of being perceived, and she deduces her previous exhale had been released with more energy than intended. Hoseok sweetly smiles at her, “Anything you don’t agree on, Eunbi?”
The panicked girl opens her mouth to justify herself, her eyes getting wider and shinier with embarrassment, but Dahye beats her to it, “Bibi, didn’t you say you, like, hate cycling? I’m sure we had a whole conversation about it.“
Eunbi is mortified. Her eyes jump from Dahye to Jeongguk, trying to get her best friend to shut up while also registering the boy’s scoff and muted roll of his eyes. Oh god. Her whole be-lowkey-and-make-yourself-unnoticed plan just shattered in a matter of seconds. She can feel Jeongguk’s eyes bore flaming holes into her skull, his arms crossed and his legs furtherly stretching out on the armchair. If she still had a small, tiny hope left that he didn’t fully hate her, she just witnessed that shattering in pieces too.
She quickly shifts to sit on her heels, her hands frantically shaking to try and save her face for what she could, “No, what? I love cycling. Seriously, I’d do it everyday if I could.” She chuckles shakily while subtly shoving Dahye’s knee next to her to signal going with the lie. At first, Dahye looks clearly confused: she was so sure of that information about her roommate. She furrows her brows, looking down at a panicky Eunbi widening her eyes. It takes only a few more seconds for her to suddenly get it, shaking herself from her doubts and catching the ball, “Oh, right! You do! I got it confused with, huh… something else.” The girl mutters that last part only to join her friend in a nervous laugh, and an apologetic smile. Best believe Dahye is going to hear about this later.
Hoseok looks just as puzzled as the others, but nonetheless he nods, announcing the schedule has been officially confirmed. A collective acclaim fills the room, only for the boy to stop it with a raise of his pointer finger, “Now, I will assign you guys in your respective cars.” Which is comically followed by a joint groan, and some protests. Hoseok ignores them, and goes on reading off his perfectly planned out Word document.
”Namjoon is the first driver, and he’s travelling with Iseul, Seokjin and Sora,” he looks up to briefly check with the mentioned members to see if there are any complaints, then proceeds. “We’ve got Yoongi with me, Aera and Taehyung. Then…” Hoseok squints his eyes while scrolling down the document, and those few seconds of silence are enough for Eunbi’s thoughts to anticipate what is about to follow. She lowers her head, unwilling to meet Jeongguk’s glare when Hoseok says, “Jeongguk is driving with Jimin, Dahye and Eunbi. All set?”
The positive response is quick, even too rushed and disregardful of what was said, as Namjoon and Taehyung have been impatiently begging for the never-ending organising to be over so they could order food and finally fill their starved stomachs. No one pays any mind to it, but Eunbi and Jeongguk stay quiet, while Jimin and Dahye share a knowing look. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.
The evening is spent in the cramped living room of Eunbi and Dahye’s shared flat, eating pizza and letting a random movie play, which soon only functioned as a background noise the moment Taehyung started a game of Would You Rather. Even if Yoongi initially shushed him, everyone eventually became more delighted with Seokjin’s unthinkable suggestions than with the film, “Would you rather be trapped in a small room with 10,000 tarantulas for 10 minutes, or eat 10 tarantulas in 10 minutes?”
Eunbi tries to let herself be distracted by the content smiles on her friends’ faces, even feels less distressed when she notices Jeongguk relaxing as well, but that doesn’t stop her mind from overflowing with all the things that could potentially go wrong. It inevitably shows on her face, and in her unusual quietness. She has been pondering on the last information Hoseok had shared about the confirmed schedule for hours now, worrying it was going to start the trip on the wrong foot. There were all the best intentions to not poke the sleeping bear, but she fears being in the same car as him is going to stir him awake.
After the group leaves the apartment at past 1 a.m., Hoseok checking with everyone that they’ll show up at 8 sharp tomorrow morning in front of the same building they’re now parting ways from, Eunbi releases a long sigh as she closes the door behind her shoulders. Dahye catches the look on her features immediately, taking her pretty face in between her palms, “I’m sorry for earlier. I was trying to help.” She pouts, and it makes the shorter girl chuckle.
Eunbi shakes her head, dismissing her apology with a small it’s okay, and freeing herself from her friend’s hold so as to avoid meeting her eyes, instead busying herself with tidying up the mess in the living room. Her flatmate looks at the strangely silent girl narrowly, “What are you thinking? Please, don’t let it be something stupid like I don’t wanna drive in Jeongguk’s car.”
When all Dahye is met with is silence, she knows that specific something stupid is flowing in the other girl’s head. Eunbi spends the next hour packing and letting Dahye think she’s wholly convincing her distressed roommate nothing could go wrong from just being close to each other, and if anything, it could be a starting point.
For the sake of getting at least three hours of sleep before the long drive ahead, Eunbi fake promises her friend that she won’t let such thoughts haunt her mind and stop her from enjoying the holiday (she was forced to repeat those exact words) knowing she’s going to let them do precisely that. She also ends up staying awake all night either way, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse that she can use to ask Hoseok if a small change would be possible, hoping it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to him and his perfect plan.
When the following morning rolls around, the group gathers in the courtyard of the flat complex as instructed hours earlier by Hoseok, who looks like he’s on the verge of a serious crisis when it’s one minute past 8 a.m. and Taehyung still hasn’t shown up. Eunbi fears for her life when she taps his shoulder as delicately as she can, still unable to avoid a jumpy reaction from the boy, who then relaxes when he sees the girl’s sweet smile. That lasts for about one second, because when Eunbi softly asks him if they can talk he’s back to puffing out panicky breaths.
She hesitates a moment before uttering in one single exhale, “I’d rather not go in Jeongguk’s car.” Faced with Hoseok’s perplexed stare, she goes on explaining in a rushed, messy speech, “It’s nothing personal, really. It’s just- Iseul! Yeah, Iseul begged me to be in the car with Dahye… She doesn’t know Sora that well so she said it would be way too awkward. I can go with Namjoon!” She ends it by trying to sport a convincing grin on her lips, but with the way it looks like she’s being held at gunpoint to smile it’s doing the exact opposite, not helping in hiding her own panic at all.
Hoseok takes a few seconds to process her request and read her expression, but in the end he just shrugs and nods enthusiastically, “That’s okay!” He then claps his hands twice, recalling the others’ attention who comically snap their heads in unison, hanging on the boss’ lips, “Tiny change. Eunbi doesn’t wanna be in Jeongguk’s car, so she’s going with Namjoon.”
For the second time in under 24 hours, Eunbi is so embarrassed she prays the ground to swallow her whole. Hoseok doesn’t seem to be making a big deal out of the way he worded his announcement, busy typing away on his phone, probably updating his Word document with the recent change. The others don’t look too fazed either, accustomed with the two infamously not being too fond of each other for no apparent reason, except for Dahye and Jimin: the former is looking at the girl incredulously; the latter has shifted his attention to his best friend.
Eunbi can feel cold sweat dripping down her forehead, the weight of the world crushing on her shoulders. She’s afraid to follow Jimin’s line of vision, but as she slowly does, it leads her to meet Jeongguk’s intense gaze, a slight pissed scowl hardening his features along with his brows almost meeting at the bridge of his nose. His all black attire composed of an oversized t-shirt, cargo bermuda shorts and chunky sandals matches perfectly with the look on his face. He seems confused, and unnerved. And sad? This is not how things were supposed to unfold.
Under such pressure, the girl impulsively releases a nervous laugh, her whole face red with awkwardness, “It’s not like I didn’t- Okay! I’ll just go wait in the car.” Her head hangs as she distances herself from the group, finding an escape from Jeongguk’s disappointment in Namjoon’s car. She bangs her head on the dashboard a few times, making the most of the last minutes alone she’s getting before departure.
Starring in that shitshow was not on her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip in any way. On the contrary, what she has been trying to do is going by the rules of the list itself: stay away from Jeongguk and don’t be a bother. Instead, the opposite seems to be happening every time she attempts to be nice to him so as to not be a hassle during the trip. Releasing a shaky breath, she hopes her intentions wouldn’t be misinterpreted by the boy, as she tries foolishly convincing herself the telepathy between them still exists, at least to a small extent. She was only doing this for him. To make it easier for him. Please, please send this telepathic message to Jeongguk.
Connection probably isn’t working too well, because when they all get to the destination after a fairly long ride, Jeongguk still looks pissed, shutting the car door with more energy than required and unloading the luggages, taking his and Iseul’s to the entrance of the camping site. Eunbi narrows her eyes as she observes the scene, the short haired girl thanking the previously annoyed boy and effortlessly putting a smile on his lips, and she almost doesn’t notice Namjoon urging her to move. She abruptly shakes herself out of that trance, relaxing her hands that had subconsciously closed into fists, and takes her bags out of the car. As she clumsily drags them on both of her shoulders, her Converses do little to protect her soles from the rocky ground, and she groans. It’s not like she was expecting Namjoon to carry her baggage, she can do it herself. But as she keeps watching Jeongguk easily handling all that weight, she huffs.
The campsite looks amazing. The space that the group has at their disposal is huge and wholly surrounded by nature, making it the perfect getaway from the chaos of the city. Not too far, in between trees, a glimpse of the sun reflecting its rays in a large lake can be caught. Eunbi witnesses an excellently carried out jam session, with the lively enthusiasm of her friends on microphone, birds on percussion and cicadas on bass. She smiles, and sighs contentedly. Dahye’s words from last night echo in her head, don’t let this stop you from enjoying the holiday, and today she wants to believe them. She’s glad she chose to wear jeans shorts instead of cargos, the heat slowly but surely rising, and a flowy white top that keeps her fresh, for now.
Hoseok instructs them to get to work, and they do. All their bags are gathered under a big ancient tree as each couple and trio starts (tries) setting their tents. While they’re busy figuring out how to ensure the tent won’t fly away, which Taehyung fears particularly, Jimin and Jeongguk offer themselves to go and fill everyone’s water flask at a nearby drinking fountain they had found. Eunbi kneels down to fish hers out of a blue backpack and goes to hand it out to Jeongguk, who’s collecting Dahye’s bottle. The boy smiles at her friend, but it gets wiped off when he shifts his gaze on Eunbi’s shorter figure. The moment is brief, and awkward: her big unsure eyes stare into his hardened ones, arm extended out to him, wondering if there might be something funny on her face for him to turn so serious; she hesitantly lifts her brows, waiting for something; Jeongguk looks her up and down, only to not acknowledge her water flask, and just walks past her.
Eunbi is dumbfounded, the tip of her ears reddening as she remains paralysed with her hand out, even after Jimin collects her flask, muttering something close to Don’t mind him, please accompanied by an apologetic smile. She regains consciousness of her surroundings only when, beside her, Dahye can’t help the snort coming out of her mouth, trying but failing to save it with her hand. The still shocked girl slowly turns to face her amused friend, mouth slightly agape and left eye clearly twitching, “Did he just… act as if I don’t exist.”
The situation shouldn’t be funny, but to Dahye it’s the peak of comedy as she keeps giggling the more the slow realisation of what has just happened shows on Eunbi’s features. Obviously, the latter can’t find one single reason to laugh about it, whining while the taller girl pats her shoulder, still smiling, “You really need to talk to him.”
The targeted girl ignores that, biting her nails nervously, ”Was he saying anything about… me, in the car?”
Dahye lifts her brows, shaking her head, ”Nothing. He’s probably talking shit about you with Jimin, though.” Eunbi follows her pointed finger and catches Jeongguk animatedly discussing with his flatmate, balancing the bottles in his arms, before they turn a corner. Eunbi fusses, lightly tugging on her braided pigtails, and she feels helpless as even the friend who’s supposed to be supporting her through all of this is chuckling at her. Despite being shorter, when Eunbi shoves Dahye’s shoulder she manages to make her stumble, but that doesn’t stop her laughs, though.
”You’re building the tent on your own.” Arms crossed and pout on, Eunbi isn’t joking as she goes to sit under the tree surrounded by bags and ignores her name being called out. Rather than reacting to it, she spots tiny bugs between the grass and inspects them for a while, pretending it keeps her distracted from what’s plaguing her mind. Soon after, with her knees to her chest, watching those ants working to transfer food from one side to the other inevitably gets her lost in her thoughts. What is she doing wrong? There’s clearly unresolved problems between her and the boy who brutally ignored her existence minutes ago, but she thought maybe if she started seeking for truce, then he would too. His response, instead, makes her realise no matter how much she tries, it’s apparently not enough to mend what happened all those years ago. She messed up worse than imagined.
The constant pondering makes her lose track of time, and she comes back to reality with undesired outcomes that she convinces herself to be true. When she recovers from the (as she has deduced, deserved) humiliation, Dahye has already set up half of the tent and Eunbi walks over to her bashfully, “Sorry for being childish. I’ll finish this, Hye.” The girl just smiles softly and nods, sending her a flying kiss that makes Eunbi chuckle before taking her previous spot under the tree. At least Dahye doesn’t hate her.
It takes her a while to figure out what to do but she soon grasps how hard a seemingly simple task can be, feeling bad for letting Dahye do a great part of it on her own. Still, she needs to work fast as lunch time is approaching, and everybody around her is almost finished. She has been crouching on a particular spot on the ground for a while now, trying to properly secure an angle of the tent unsuccessfully. Until she groans exasperated, puffing her hair out of her vision and lifting her body up to find a solution. She tries stomping on it a few times, but it doesn’t work, and if anything it worsens the situation. Huffing out, with her hands on her hips she looks around for help, and the first person her eyes fall on is Jeongguk.
He was already staring at her, comfortably sitting on a deckchair with his legs spread and sunglasses on. His tent looks perfectly set already, with Jimin seemingly fixing the inside of it. His hand is covering his mouth before he uses it to lift his glasses over his head, and is that a smirk? They both stare at each other in silence, Eunbi still struggling to breathe, and she hesitates slightly until her eagerness to be over with the tent becomes stronger. She speaks up to make herself heard over the small distance, “Can you- help me?”
Jeongguk narrows her eyes at her, initially not answering but not even moving from his relaxed position. The girl is ready to be met with silence again, but it’s something worse when he opens his mouth, “I think Namjoon would be happy to do that.” He’s as stern as ever as he returns the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, furtherly spreading his whole body on the chair and facing the sun. Only then, he releases a content sigh, smiling slightly.
All of this cannot be real. What does that even mean? Eunbi can feel her eye start to twitch again and she needs to clench her jaw to stop it. It’s okay. Breathe. She unexpectedly but successfully manages to hold herself from exploding on him, both overwhelmed with tent building and frustrated with his behaviour. She can’t really decipher what led him to not only act cold, as he usually is with her, which is fine, but also mean! But no problem, she’ll try once again. It costs nothing to be nice. And she tells herself she’ll stay that way, even if she’s met with the opposite, until he breaks.
The storm of negative emotions tormenting her thoughts can be distortedly seen as a good thing on one side, if she considers that the sudden adrenaline flowing in her body gets her through most of the task without any help, even mindlessly, while she keeps reflecting on the interaction and the previous ones. Why the fuck would Namjoon be happy to help her? Well, he would, he’s naturally a helper, but why did Jeongguk say that? Is he really that pissed about her going in his car? She tries to understand, she really does. Keep being nice is what she tells herself instead.
When the tent is finally up, only with Dahye’s finishing touches, and food is finally in her stomach, refilling her energy tank, it’s like there’s a switch going off in her head, making it seem as if nothing bad has ever happened. Eunbi is back to her talkative self with a full tummy and a bashful grin while her best friend teases her for the earlier tantrum she went on about, but at least it’s all smiles again.
The first day at the campsite is spent basking in the slowness that follows after ticking off the only two activities planned for today on Hoseok’s schedule: setting their tents and preparing meals for lunch and dinner. The boss then instructs the group on just getting acquainted with their surroundings, and they don’t need to be told twice, making the most out of those short remaining moments of ease.
The rest of those hours are used to laze by the huge lake, in between swims and sunbathes. Luckily, Eunbi had packed a few bikinis and she chose to wear a black set, its laces meeting at the back with a bow. Sitting back and taking it easy, before all that she will be faced with the next few days, gives her a chance to get closer to the others. During the earlier drive, she had the opportunity to chat with Sora and discover the sweetheart she truly is, and the car was then easily filled with laughter, mostly provided by Namjoon and Seokjin’s terrible jokes. She now sits by Sora on a beach towel, all the other girls in a circle catching up and laying by the sun. In the back of their gossip session, the boys could be heard laughing and squealing, and the sound reminded Eunbi of sweet childhood. She briefly shifts her attention to them and smiles when she observes how they’re doing the most to tire their energy out, from using a rope hanging by the branch of a tree to leap into the water, to initiating a volleyball match using one of their rolled up towels.
Eunbi grows even fonder than before of the people she’s surrounded with, the earlier stress leaving her body and being replaced by serenity, a small sigh released from her lips before she returns to listen to the girls’ chat. She laughs at something Dahye says and jumps on it excitedly, making the others chuckle at the two friends eagerly recounting one of their craziest uni experiences so far.
All of it is short lived when Taehyung and Jimin suddenly drop a water balloon over their heads, a collective gasp filling the space followed by the two boys’ childish giggles and Dahye’s screams, getting up to run after them. They all spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get back at each other with more pranks, bathing in the lake’s cold water and taking silly group pictures to seal the day. As the sun begins to set, they all sit on their towels and silently observe nature, definitely too tired to speak, and preferring to savour the sweet moment.
When the sun finally leaves its place for the moon to rise and the group of friends gets back to their tents, their stomachs growling signal it’s time for dinner. They take turns to shower using the nearby public structure and then help setting a campfire to cook. It also works as a very needed source of heat, given the temperature has significantly dropped and their bodies are still humid from washing up. Eunbi wears the grey cargos she had discarded earlier this morning when deciding on what to put on, and a white tee, her damp hair falling on her shoulders and making her feel slightly chilly. She comes up beside Yoongi to help him with the meat, benefiting from the warmth of the fire.
There’s not much talk between the two, only the older boy advising her to be careful of the flames every two minutes, but it’s comfortable. Eunbi still has a hard time reading through Yoongi, and maybe it’s what she enjoys the most about him: his aura is soothing and it exudes security. He doesn’t exactly show it, but he’s deeply attentive and caring of his friends, and the girl feels safe next to him. She can sense him looking over at her while the meat is cooking, and as she turns to him she meets his eyes with a smile. He ponders, scanning her face “You got sunburnt. You need to wear sunscreen tomorrow, or it’ll get worse.”
Eunbi chuckles, dragging her pointer finger up and down her red nose, “Yeah, I know. It kinda hurts but it looks like I have natural blush now!”
Yoongi shakes his head with a small amused scoff, “That’s stupid, Eunbi. Wait for me here, I’ll go get you an after-sun cream.” And even as he walks off, he reminds her to not stay too close to the fire. She thinks that’s an exact demonstration of what the boy is truly like in her head.
The girl keeps grilling the meat, humming unknown melodies under her breath, and she almost misses a broad figure sitting on one of the chairs surrounding the fire. When she looks up, it’s Jeongguk avoiding her eyes and instead staring at the flames, their light reflecting in his big orbs and making them shinier. He wears his bermudas from earlier, but he now has a grey Stussy hoodie on top of it. His locks are still wet after freshly coming out of a shower, and they curl on his forehead, making him look like a poodle. She smiles. It’s like 15 years old Jeongguk is there with her again, his bare, exhausted face and droopy eyes taking her back to Busan. Without even realising what she’s doing, she extends a cooked piece of meat his way, “You want some?”
Startled, the boy breaks from his spacing-out and registers the request. He looks between Eunbi and the meat, gulping. He licks his lips, and she swears she can also hear his stomach rumbling. When he keeps ogling the food without replying, she wiggles the fork and his eyes follow its every movement, as if hypnotised. Then, he suddenly screws his eyelids shut and breaks from the trance, simply shaking his head no and fishing his phone out of his pocket, mindlessly scrolling on it. Just like that, she’s back to the present, and Jeongguk hates her. Eunbi narrowly glares at him while he can’t see her.
Yoongi comes back soon after with two different creams in his hands, and he gives them to Eunbi with a chuckle. She thanks him and lets him take over the cooking, while she curiously inspects the products, still standing next to the fire. When Yoongi spots his younger friend on the chair, he asks the same exact question as her, forking a piece of meat, “You want some?”
Jeongguk’s attention is back up, this time on Yoongi, and when he sees what his hyung is referring to he eagerly nods. Eunbi interrupts her examination just in time to see the boy hungrily shoving the food in his mouth, brows furrowed and praising noises accompanying his munching, making the older friend by her side chuckle. Instead, the girl is once again in disbelief, even more as he watches Jeongguk patting his knee with force, satisfied with the bite, “Hyung, this shit is so good. I want more.”
Eunbi scoffs imperceptibly, leaving the scene with an annoyed scowl wrecking her pretty features. As she enters her tent, she’s glad Dahye is still showering as she makes the most of that isolating moment. She sighs wearily and whips out her phone. Using its camera, she tries to ignore her tumbling emotions and instead puts on the creams Yoongi had given her, but not even those are enough to distract her. She’s still incredulous at what she’s being put through, her patience wearing thin, and the pact she made with herself before coming here is dangerously close to being broken.
Dinner is spent with good food and even better people, and only then Eunbi visibly untenses again. In between bites and full mouths, they go from discussing random facts to casually engaging in games of Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever, the beer bottles slowly being emptied while their tummies get filled. When they’re done eating, the relaxed smiles on their faces implicitly communicate how the meal has been the perfect ending to the lovely day spent together. Still, they stay by the fire and keep up an effortless chat. When one of them comments on the limpidity of the sky, its stars being perfectly visible in this zone of Seoul, they all look up and stare in silence at the fullness of the lights.
Even if it’s not too late, the weariness from being out in the sun for multiple consecutive hours is weightening down on most of them, Seokjin and Sora retiring to their tents, soon after being followed by Yoongi and Hoseok.
It’s a little past midnight, and Eunbi starts to feel more and more affected by the cool breeze, its effects showing on her prickled skin. She tries to warm herself up by rubbing her exposed arms with her hands, but it’s to no avail, “God, I’m so cold.”
A collective agreement follows her claim, with Iseul speaking up and curling herself into a ball on the deckchair she’s sitting on by taking her legs up to her chest and hugging them close, “Me too, it’s freezing.”
”Oh, I have a spare hoodie.” Both girls snap their heads at the voice, which belongs to Jeongguk. However, as he quickly gets up to retrieve the sweater from his tent, it’s not clear who between the two he’s referring to, their curious expectant eyes following his every movement. Eunbi has her reasons to feel so eager, given the fact that she has been begging for one nice interaction with the boy, a spark of hope lighting up in her chest at his offer. On the other hand, she doesn’t know why the other girl seems equally excited, twirling her short hair around her fingers as she waits for Jeongguk to come out of the tent again. She huffs, a pout ending on her features.
When the sought-after boy gets back with a blueish crewneck in his arms, both girls hold their breaths, the sudden tension going unnoticed by the others (except for Dahye, she’s like a psychic when it comes to her best friend’s emotions), until Jeongguk lays the piece of clothing on Iseul’s shoulders, coming behind her and then sitting on his chair again.
Iseul bashfully thanks him, the tips of her ears seemingly reddening while a sweet, alluring smile makes its way on her lips. Eunbi scoffs at that, and if looks could kill Iseul would be dead right now. The dirty look she sends her way luckily goes unnoticed, and she keeps hugging her own body trying to provide herself with warmth. When she shifts her attention to Jeongguk, he’s already looking at her, smirking. She can’t be convinced he isn’t doing all this on purpose.
Even with her teeth almost chattering, the neglected girl forces herself to stay with the others until the end, and with Namjoon and Taehyung retiring to sleep only six of them remain. Under a white full moon, the conversation doesn’t really follow a clear direction, steering from existential questions that none really have the answers to, to Jimin’s drunken adventures. Jeongguk giddily joins the recounting and adds many details to it, specifically highlighting the embarrassing parts that his roommate is trying to omit to save face, and making all of his friends laugh with their whole chest, Eunbi included. She simply can’t ignore the fact that he’s naturally charming, and hilarious as well. In the middle of his storytelling, his whole body gets involved and it makes the events seem even more impressive. Eunbi smiles when she compares the Jeongguk in front of her to the beloved one in her past, the one that would sit her down and force her to keep up with his running imagination, constantly up with new ideas for silly scripts.
Then it’s Dahye’s turn to share one of her experiences, and Eunbi inevitably gets thrown into the tale, which had seen the two friends drunkenly sneaking themselves into a concert. It’s like they’re perfectly mirroring Jimin and Jeongguk’s dynamic, because while Dahye is trying to leave out critical parts of the story, Eunbi strongly insists on specifying them with an unseen emphasis for 1 a.m., causing everybody to laugh along. In between chuckles, her eyes fall on Jeongguk, who is mindlessly scrolling on his phone and seemingly not paying attention. Throughout the recounting, she notices Jeongguk distractly listening but never laughing, and if he does it’s only after something said by Dahye. Slowly, the enthusiasm gets wiped off her face as she curls up on the chair, sulkily letting her friend finish telling the story.
Another hour of effortless conversation goes by, and Jeongguk is back to lively chatting again, his animated gestures and witty jokes getting laughter out of his friends, but this time Eunbi doesn’t join. She silently sets on observing the boy, despite being caught a few times. She really wants to understand the reason behind his behaviour, but there’s no factual explanation she can come up with other than the obvious reasons that put them in this situation in the first place. If that’s the case, there’s nothing much she can do other than going up to him and finally talking it out like the mature adults they should be, but with their petty, silent bickering she doesn’t think that’s happening any soon.
While she’s busy squinting her eyes at the boy, in a borderline creepy manner, she doesn’t notice Iseul crouching in half in laughter at something Jeongguk said, until she’s directly referring to her, “Oh god, Eunbi! Why did you never tell me Jeongguk was this funny?” Said girl is startled by the question and by the abrupt interruption that shakes her out of her trance, confusion written on her face and it must be evident with the way Iseul goes on explaining, “Dahye told me you’ve known him for a long time.”
All at once, the atmosphere is tense and maybe Iseul and Aera can’t feel it, but Dahye definitely can as she snaps her head to her friend, who’s staring directly into Jeongguk’s eyes. The two seem to be battling an unnamed war through eye contact, and the intensity of the boy’s gaze ignites something implacable in the girl’s chest, dangerously close to rage, and it has to do with all the feelings she’s had to bottle up in less than 24 hours. She scoffs, referring to Iseul but never breaking the staring contest with the boy, “Oh, is he? Don’t think I’m well acquainted with that side of him yet.”
If the tension wasn’t palpable to everyone before the comment, it surely is now, the only ones that have something left to say being the crickets and owls in the background. Jeongguk only snickers before washing a hand over his face, an unsettling smirk on his lips. He seems to finally acknowledge the other girl’s presence, but it’s not in the way Eunbi initially imagined it would go. Instead, it’s venom spitting out of his mouth, “You would've been if you weren’t so self centred, always wrapped in your own bubble all the fucking time.”
Eunbi's confidence falls as quick as her heart, a sudden force weighing on it and almost crushing it. She’s fast at hiding it, ignoring the slight sting she can sense in the back of her eyelids, her only goal is to shoot harder. She forces the fakest smile she can muster, “Self centred? Are you sure you're talking about me?” The affronted girl scoffs, loud and sarcastic, “Fuck, and I thought you'd know better than that, Jeongguk. You should try getting your head out of your ass and look around. Maybe you'd see how shitty you've been treating all of us-” me “-for these past weeks.”
Jeongguk is visibly taken aback, and it’s his heart falling this time, his face following suit. His broken features do little to hide the doubts plaguing his spiralling mind. Had he pushed it too far? Had he been actually so bad to his own friends? Seeing his contender’s face relaxing with victory makes him snap out of the sudden trance, as he regains consciousness fast. No, he hasn’t. Fuck this. Blinded by anger, he utters the unimaginable, “Speak for yourself when you say shit like that. As far as I'm concerned, I've been treating you fairly seeing the bitch you are.”
His eyes are as pitch as black, the stars in them that Eunbi would love to get lost into are unreachable now, almost as if a dark cloud had obscured them. It must be the pollution that's taking over his heart too.
She’s frozen in place as the cruel words echo in her mind, the force that was keeping her heart underwater had managed to crush it, and it was now coming up her throat, squeezing the air out of her lungs. Her ears ring with the sudden lack of oxygen, and she can only faintly hear Dahye’s raging comments coming in her defence against Jeongguk. She can only seem to focus on the cracking of the fire, though, its thumping noise suddenly unbearable, as she feels more and more engulfed in its flames. She forces all sounds to come back to her, strongly pulling herself out of her own plagued head, the boy in front of her now unrecognisable to her empty eyes.
Looking around, she notices all of her friends — his, after all — had gone extremely quiet, the pressure weighing on them too. She can't stand it, needs to get out. She wishes she had never agreed to this. So much for keeping her peace. Yet, she'll never give him the satisfaction of knowing how much that hurt her. She'll die before crying in front of him.
“Well, if you don't mind, the bitch has had enough now, so with all due respect, she's going to sleep.” With a forced tight lipped smile, she gets up in one fast movement and walks to her tent, leaving the others disoriented, and a still furious Dahye scoffing at Jeongguk. He follows her with his eyes until she disappears in her shelter, clenching his jaw and announcing his departure soon after.
Inside the tent, Eunbi takes several deep breaths trying to calm down, and she feels frail when she can sense her eyes prickle with tears. She tells herself it’s angry ones. Apparently, being nice isn’t enough, and she watches as the seal to her pact shatters with force, signalling no come back. Following suit, the puzzle breaks once again, and she’s left scrambling for the pieces falling, looking for the one that will start it over again. And this time, it’s going to be even harder.
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25 asks! Thank you! :}} 👹
I have it in the back of my mind, but I haven't actually made any steps in making more master posts.. 😔
ReBLOGGING is good! Its a feature of Tumblr and helps more people find my artwork! Very nice :))
RePOSTING is stealing my art and posting it on your own account. Giving you and only you all the credit. That's theft and no good!
I think I remember wanting my sona to be an object head of some kind. I think I doodled probably a dozen different ideas before I got frustrated and just scribbled my most recent attempt out.
But then it hit me. I doodled two little white eyes on the scribble and I knew I had found my sona XDD
@xxthedragonrebornxx
XD Thank you for remembering my boundaries and respecting them! :)) And THANK YOU FOR THE CUPCAKE!! :DDD
I haven't read it, but I've seen it blowing up all over tumblr. It must be pretty cool! :00
@milk-powrit
<XD I won't lie, Bill is a fantastic villain. I just "hate" him because Stanley is my favorite character and Bill put his family through hell 💀
Most of the team: "Aww 🥰💞💞"
Gloria: "WHO ARE YOU AND HOW ARE YOU HOLDING ALL OF US UP AT ONCE"
@pink088
<XD These past 2-3 days have just hammered me health wise, but I can at least say that I've been sleeping enough!
And thanks for the check in! I wish you the best :))
(Pokemon violet comic(?))
:DD Thank you!! I'm glad you liked it!! :)))
If I ever really go into those series I would :00 But I cant remember the Godziilla movies- plus that would be really hard to draw <XDD
There's so many sonic medias that i wouldn't know which one to go by- and I've seen playthroughs of Poppy playtime but it never really grabbed my interest.. <XD
I'll do my best to keep up with all that <XDD Thank you!
(Frank butterfly post)
Oh there's no need to worry about Frank! It might be hard to tell- but that was actually a moth! Frank had bags under his eyes because he was out late studying moths :))
<XD Well considering Homes intentions are intended to be unknown- you're free to imagine that! :D
@skywillow28022
ohmygosh the third movie is so good I actually cant watch it anymore lest I burst into tears 😭😭😭💞💞💞 10/10 WOULD recommend cars 3--
Anyways- I ADORE the cars franchise and absolutely would have drawn them more.. if cars weren't so hard to draw <XD Plus my favorite thing to draw is angsty cuddles and hugs and big droopy eyes and tears- that's kiiiind'a hard to pull off if your characters are cars-
Of course I could always draw them as humans like many other artists have.. but idk, it just doesn't feel the same you know? <XD
Also thank you! I hope you day goes well too! :))
@neo-metalscottic (Welcome home post(?)) (Octonauts eye study) (Oxem and Pepemijo comic)
AAAAA Thank you sop much! :DD I'm glad you've been liking my recent posts!
As for Oxem and Pepemijo, I cant show images because of the stupid 30 images limit-- But Pepemigo is based on/inspired by the Year of the dragon mask, and Oxem is based on the current season of Duets seasonal guide mask! :00
I imagine there are other dragons out there, like that other sky dragon that I made one time-- <XDD I don't really have any ideas for their powers or their story, but I had intended that Pepemijo at least knocked the krill out in self defense. Thankfully they wont be hunted by krill following that event- Oxem got them to a safe place and he knows that he should steer clear of krill territory in the future <XD
And of course! I'd love to see any critters that you've made! :DDD
@sussyhahag
uhg, always disappointing to see.. thank you for letting me know though 😔
*VERY LOUD CARTOON BROKEN HEART SOUND* (I LOVE THISSS)
<XD yup.
Also even though that disclaimer is there for FNAF and Octonauts, I still get people harassing me anyways!.... :')
@vesselofmanythings
AAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :DDD And I wish you luck on your slime rancher creative adventure!! :}}}
AAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDDD That means a lot!!! :))
@starsbee
This shouldn't have made me laugh as much as it did XDD
@wolfie-777
Oh no.... THAT MUST BE ME WELCOME HOME AU COMING BACK--
@anikakitty11
Somethin ain't right with that dog <XDD
@edelgeist (Referencing this post)
oooh :00 I wasn't aware of that- thank you for the info! Perhaps I should invest in a cooling pad <XD
I have not <:( But after googling it- I love the artstyle! :DD
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what i think your favorite PO boxer says about you
based on my biases and a year of experience (if you get mad over how i talked about your fave im going to turn you into a can of spam)
first time ive ever maxed out the tags
if i missed your fav tell me ‼️
doc louis - you have good taste and are starving for content about him, you really are a survivor
little mac - you either project onto him or just like calling him your son
glass joe - you have a thing for pathetic men (understandable tbh) and like calling him a wet cat since he fits that desc well
von kaiser - same thing as joe but add a hint of "oh no hes hot"
disco kid - you literally have no enemies i love you so much its not even funny (platonic)
king hippo - my god you are good at making up lore, how the fuck do you make a solid personality for a character that only roars and grunts
piston hondo - im 100% youre a saint, no hondo fan i met has ever been unpleasant to talk with
bear hugger - you either see him as a father figure or just think hes hot or (secret third option) you like making jokes about him being a disney princess, either way youre cool
great tiger - oh you have been here for a long time, literally every great tiger fan i know has been in the fandom since 7.000 BC or something, also youre prob really good at art
don flamenco - you use the word "cunty" on a daily basis or just like making fun of his stupid bald head, also yes he has eyeliner on 100%
aran ryan - you'd overthrow a goverment for this greasy rat, youre extremely extremely gay and/or neurodivergent and thats very good for you, you also like making him say lad and have had to go ankle deep in irish slang when making him speak in fanfics
soda popinski - ive never seen someone have soda as their fav, hes always 2nd place somehow so im just gonna go take a shot in the dark and say you like the color pink (mental gymnastics who??)
bald bull - you are a mixed bag, i gen cant put a finger on what kind of personality bull stans have but i can say you either find him hot or like making fun of him, maybe both
super macho man - least serious people ever with some traumatizing lore for the boxers & their own ocs, you prob make him say bogus 88268292 times in a sentence and i can respect that
mr sandman - ive only seen 2 (two ) ppl who have him as their fav and its kinda sad, youre starving for content of him and i wish you the best
birdie mac - hes your son (im not elaborating)
gabby jay - same thing as joe but you went over the top with liking dilfs
narcis prince - gay. gay gay homosexual gay. you went for the self obsessed blonde twink and you thought it wasnt obvious?? you fucking homosexual
heike kagero - youre 1000% queer, sorry to be a broken record about the gay thing but ur fav is literally a man with long hair & makeup that has to be some flavor of queer
hoy quarlow - you are/were another ancient punch out fan, you def shitpost a lot
bruiser bros - where are you??? ive gen never met a bruiser bros fan and its concerning like dude where did u go
texas mac - im sorry but you dont exist, ive never ever seen a texas mac fan, not even someone who mentions him
mad clown - you foul clownfucker. you have weird taste in characters you find hot and tbh im all here for it
masked muscle - same thing as texas mac but theres a slight chance you exist, if you do please show yourself
dragon chan - another punch out ancient fan, you probably were most active in 2013-2019 and kinda miss old shitposts and have either moved on or dont participate much anymore
spo aran - (this is mostly for Charlie but i have hope that theres some other spo aran fans out there) youre probably looking for other spo aran fans, goodpeed soldier, goodpeed
mask x - you arent getting away with this fuck you
#punch out#headcanon#punch out headcanons#punch out wii#aran ryan#bald bull#glass joe#don flamenco#piston hondo#great tiger#gabby jay#masked muscle#mask x#narcis prince#spo aran ryan#super punch out#super macho man#hoy quarlow#dragon chan#birdie mac#heike kagero#mad clown#rick bruiser#nick bruiser#Texas Mac#mr sandman#disco kid#von kaiser#little mac#doc louis
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tsc thoughts while reading (beware of spoilers) starting with -
david wymack my fucking beloved
also i never rlly liked/cared for thea but her scene with jean and her nickname for him was cute
chapter 3 thoughts:
jeremy being in awe of neil and the foxes is giving me life
fanfics with alvarez in them gonna go crazy now that we actually have a first name for her (and don’t have to invent one)
oh they rich rich (in reference to jeremy’s family butler?!)
jerejean first interaction!!!!
chapter 4:
omg sunshine court mentioned
having the sudden realisation that i can never read fanfics that have jean’s perspective or anything about the how the ravens work, raven!neil/aftermath of the kings men in the same way again
my neighbours are having a party and while i’m loving the music and absolutely jealous i’m not there, it’s really distracting me from reading
ngl i rlly miss neil and andrew and the foxes please let me see my family soon
‘ what you hold onto is less important than the act of holding on itself’ nora sakavic shut the fuck up you philosophical genius i’m gonna cry this is so real to me
renee i love u
WIT WTF JEAN IS NINETEEN I DIDNT KNOW THAT OH MY GOD BABY HE JOINED THE RAVEN LINEUP AT SIXTEEN WTF
i’m drinking red wine while reading and i think that’s appropriate… also i’m listening to that jean moreau playlist someone made and it’s mega depressing https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5zlPt63Ap0AjJQ1Ff5OKrd?si=75oEzLE8SO-bfJwewM8Evw&pi=a-ge04jIlVTJGY
this is so funny to only me but i’ve been hyperfixating on one direction again and zayn just dropped new music so everytime i read about jean’s raven roomate zane i think of one direction and confused myself a bit about what fandom i’m reading rn
fuck riko u sick fucking fuck u put jean into a box with a singular hole for air and left him to die u fucking cunt
KEVIN ASKING JEAN TO PROMISE NOT TO KILL HIMSELF AFTER NORA WROTE COUNTLESS DRAFTS IN WHICH JEAN KILLED HIMSELF WHILE ON THE PHONE TO KEVIN AND THE ONLY TIME SHE DIDNT KILL JEAN OFF IS THE VERSION SHE PUBLISHED AND THE REASON WE GET TO HEAR HIS STORY TODAY IM SO BROKEN
jean’s ‘gift’ from the ravens with his broken magnets, blacked out postcards and angry letters is making me cry he deserves so much better
slowly realising that this book is gonna be super triggering lol whoops
a cool evening breeze 🥲
THAT CREEPY LITTLE GOALKEEPER IS MY FAVOURITE GUY OK
‘kevin saw nothingn but the court, but jean had stopped hoping for more than that years ago’ shut the fuckkkk uppppp i cant do this anymore kevin/jean relationship is so deeply important to me (i say this about everything)
chapter 5:
SECOND NEIL/ JEAN INTERACTION OF THE BOOK IM SO FUCKING EXCITED
‘of course it’d be you, you tedious malcontent’ ‘good morning to you too’ is so ‘morning sunshine’ ‘fuck you’ coded (neil and matt bromance confirmed)
the amount of mitski on this jean playlist is making me sick
FUCKING SCREAMING OMFG THIS IS THE JEAN/NEIL CONTENT I YEARN FOR
‘abominable cockroach’ aww jean u say the sweetest things 🥰❤️ neil loves u too babe
literally devouring every last scrap of information jean feeds us about neil - his slow, hungry, hateful smile and the madness in his eyes (neil baby i love u never change)
oh jean don’t diss aaron, do u know how many fanfics have been written about u two
tsc is confirmation that jean moreau will come into ur house and judge u based on the contents of ur fridge (and then throw out ur stash of lollies)
‘to have a real match as a palate cleanser’ jean is really trying to win my favour by borrowing neil’s sassiness huh (no wonder i love them so much together) ((and yes i know he’s BEEN sassy ok))
jean reaching for the tv screen as if he could save neil and describing andrew running for neil as if hell was on his heels is making me absolutely giddy idk whether to scream or cry i’m doing both and i’m giggling
I bet on losing dogs is so jean moreau coded omg
holy fuck nora, the moments after the raven/fox match when riko tries to kill neil is fucking amazingly written. reading from jean’s perspective as he watches the game on tv, the tension, the breathless anxiety and confusion of the scene is palpable i coukd fucking taste it, my chest is tight just reading it
JEAN SAYING ANDREW WILL BE COURT IS IMMACULATE
#tsc#the sunshine court#jean moreau#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#neil josten#andreil#andrew minyard#palmetto state foxes#kevin day#jeremy knox#usc trojans#nora sakavic#tsc spoilers
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