#ive been able to think so clearly lately

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

the thing about chronic migraines that they dont tell you is the lingering terror of the long stretches in between them. bc you know you'll have one again. its inevitable. its just a matter of time.

but then you desperately try Not to think about it because you dont want to jinx it / somehow psyche yourself into one

[phagodyke]

weekend melancholy is starting to kick in >~<

[lunarsapphism]

how dreams work is so interesting and horrifying to me

[gaystardykeco]

the problem with vacation is that now in three days i have to go back to working and being alone the rest of the time and idk if i can handle it

[sugrhigh]

BOY NEXT DOOR 9 - ( c.s )

part eight

summary- you and your roommates live beside a bunch of senior hockey players, one of them being the infamous team captain chris sturniolo. he’s effortlessly flirty and undeniably attractive, but he’s also a pain in your ass. you find that you have to fight between lust and hatred as you finally get to know the boy next door, whether you want to or not.

warnings- angst, swearing, i think that’s it

a/n: i’m back my little goblins let’s get it!!!! part ten of this series will be the final part, and then i plan on writing an ‘epilogue’ type chapter to wrap it all up. i’m hoping to have them up as quickly as possible, but ive been absolutely slammed so im sorry if it takes me a minute. i love u always and i’ve missed being on here so i hope you enjoy <3

(if you asked to be tagged in the last part and weren’t tagged it’s bcs it wouldn’t let me!! i’m so sorry i tried my hardest)

to be let down, you have to expect something from someone. it’s a mistake you’ve made far too frequently in your years on earth, especially in college, but this time around the grief is debilitating.

you spend the rest of your weekend locked inside your room, attempting to sleep away the heartbreak. somehow dreaming almost makes it worse; for a second you’re able to forget about being completely humiliated, until you wake up in reality once more.

it doesn’t help that chris has been absolutely blowing up your phone since the moment you left. every call and text goes unanswered. it’s impossible to read them, so most of the time you don’t.

hell, you can’t even open your curtains because you’re too scared that he’ll be looking back at you when you do. so you block out the sunlight, ensuring that your room matches your dreary feelings.

you figure he’ll give up on trying to talk to you eventually. you’re not different. he’s not different. and once chris regains that pride of his, he’ll go right back to fucking some other girl he won’t care about half as much.

thoughts like those make you cry even harder, as much as you hate it. but you know the disinterest will wash over him sooner or later, and you resent that inevitable day.

cassidy and ramona check on you pretty much every other hour. it makes you feel even worse that they’re so concerned, but neither of them have ever seen you like this. at least not since freshman year, when you dated an upperclassman for a couple months just for him to dump you over text.

even that heartache was relatively short-lived. but this pain follows you into the week, trailing behind you like a shadow you can’t get rid of. it sits beside you in class, curls up next to you in bed, weighs your shoulders down whenever you walk.

it feels like you’re struggling to stay afloat, to even act like a real human anymore. chris consumes your brain, and so do the ‘what if’s’ of your situation. it makes the week drag on, even though you try to spend most of it asleep.

to make matters worse, his multiple notifications continue with a routine consistency, almost like clockwork. you figured he’d already be over it, but he clearly doesn’t want to make himself easy to forget.

you have to admit that you’re glad his persistence lasted at least this long, even if it’s for selfish reasons. you’re disgusted that the attention satisfies you, but it’s not an unwelcome change considering all you’ve been feeling lately is queasy.

still, you don’t read them, or pick up when he calls. you can’t hear his voice, because you know it’ll absolutely break you.

and then finally, on friday, you see him in the flesh. you’re walking home from your bus stop after the only lecture you managed to get to that day, and there he is, getting out of his car.

your throat seizes up; there’s no way to avoid this. it’s easy to ice someone out over text, but it’s a hell of a lot harder when he’s your neighbor.

before you can snap your head away he’s turning to look in your direction, eyes equally as wide as yours once the recognition washes over him. he looks like shit, and yet he’s still so goddamn beautiful it makes you physically sick.

for a brief moment, everything stops. you just stare at each other.

chris takes in you in, the way you look noticeably drained. he feels that familiar nauseous pang in his stomach flare up, knowing that he stole the spark from your eyes.

the worst part is that you’ll never look at him with that fire again. there’s nothing he can do to bring it back now, no way to reverse the past.

then—before he can decide what to do in the present—you break the spell, cutting through your other neighbor’s lawn to get to your front porch. everything in him wants to run after you, so much so that he has to physically restrain himself.

you hear him calling after you, and something about him shouting your name stirs the tears awake once more. but you make it through the door before they fall, because you can’t show any more vulnerability than you already have.

getting inside doesn’t mean that you make it up the stairs, though. the physical and emotional exhaustion catches up to you, and you collapse around halfway through your blurry climb to your room.

your elbows dig into your kneecaps, hands holding your head while you sob. it seems impossible to catch your breath, or calm down in the slightest, and your cries only grow louder.

normally you’d be careful about the noise, but there’s no one to hide from right now. nobody is home. it’s just you and your thoughts, which, as always, are full of him.

you may be able to push him out of your life, but you have a feeling he’ll be lingering in the corners of your mind forever.

the post-game locker room mood is completely miserable tonight. after that last minute loss and the thirty minute bitch-session they just endured from their coach, it honestly should be.

chris barely even has his skates off before his teammates are all over him, which he expected but still dreaded.

his head’s not in it, and everybody knows.

“what the fuck is wrong with you, man? it’s like you’re not even awake out there.” one of the team’s leading defensemen, luke, yanks him up by his jersey roughly.

for a second he pauses, setting his jaw and puffing his chest out slightly. the accusation, though it’s not completely untrue, pisses him off.

so much so that chris retaliates by shoving him back to his rightful place a foot away. “get the hell off of me, man.”

luke looks like he’s ready to jump into action again, but connor steps in between before anything else can happen. he’s also very visibly angry, a side that doesn’t come out often.

and just because he stopped a physical fight from breaking out doesn’t mean he’s going to stay silent. “he’s right. you’re playing like shit, and we‘re way too far into the season to be blowing it now, especially with selection show right around the corner.”

chris can feel his blood is boiling at this point, knowing that even his roommate is going to support this kind of disrespect towards his own captain. the rest of the team is watching silently, but he can’t find it anywhere in himself to care.

the words have already bubbled up, and he won’t hold them back anymore.

“oh come on, it’s not like anyone else was stepping up! dylan turned the puck over every other play, ben was offside during that odd man rush, and don’t even get me started on you and the high sticking penalty that just lost us that fucking game.” he shoves his pointer finger against connor’s chest for emphasis, trying to make sure his criticism stings as much as possible.

but his friend is quick to swat his hand away, shaking his head once sharply.

“no, you don’t get to turn it on everyone else. you lost it for us during that sorry excuse of a penalty kill. you let that little UMass shit go right by you, which is why he had a wide open shot to score the game winner. you’ve been making dumb mistakes like that for two weeks now, and we all know why.”

that implication is enough to send chris over the edge, because nobody has the right to mention what happened between you and him. knowing about the situation doesn’t mean they should get to speak on it.

he can feel his fingernails digging into his palms, both hands balled into tight fists at his side. the anger coursing through his body makes him shake ever so slightly, almost like he’s humming.

“keep going and i’ll bust your fucking face in.” chris says, voice eerily calm despite the fact that his body is screaming.

but connor doesn’t back down; he stands tall with an unwavering gaze that’s more serious than ever before. “you gotta grow a pair and start being our captain again. you fucked up, and losing someone you’re actually into because of that sucks. most of us have been there. but trying to throw everyone under the bus is bullshit when you’re the one that needs to get it together.”

nothing about his words are intentionally meant to hurt, and chris knows that, but for some reason they do. probably because he doesn’t want to hear the truth, or start coming to terms with the fact that he actually did lose you.

he really doesn’t ever want to accept it.

but his ego won’t let him say that. instead, chris shifts his gaze to observe the rest of the room, at all of his teammates, before focusing on connor once again.

“if you don’t think that i’m your captain anymore then find a new one.” he spits.

the room somehow gets even more quiet; everyone is stunned by the out-of-character reaction. for the most part, chris really is a good leader. they all voted for him to represent the team when it came time, and the group dynamic has been great since then.

but he doesn’t feel like that guy now. he’s not sure who he is anymore. so he throws the rest of his equipment into his bag and yanks it over his shoulder.

“really, chris?” it’s ben this time, who’s clearly dumbfounded by the theatrics.

he doesn’t respond, and he tries not to hesitate too much as he makes his way out of the locker room. everyone lets him pass, which makes it even harder to leave.

it feels so wrong, but his feet keep pushing him forward regardless.

when chris finally makes it home twenty minutes later, the frustration has only festered. he doesn’t like anything he’s doing, and yet it’s spiraling out of his control. by the time he gets to his room, tears of aggravation have made their way down his face.

he wipes them away harshly as he stares out his window at your room, which is still closed off by your curtains. it’s like his heart seizes up just from being this close to you, knowing that you’re in there yet he can’t reach you.

and maybe that’s the problem. chris loves hockey, but at the end of the day he clearly loves you more. and with things the way that they are, his heart is fully wrapped up in you, not the game.

it’s terrifying, and it’s painful. he never thought that there’d be anyone to test his bachelor lifestyle until you came around, and he can’t just go back to normal because he doesn’t know how.

he’s been permanently changed, and it feels like a huge part of his new life is suddenly missing.

you saw the deepest parts of him, parts that he didn’t even know existed, and he saw the same side of you. you challenged him in ways he’d never experienced, and he loved that he always felt like he was evolving when you were together.

now he just feels stagnant, unsure of himself.

the only thing he’s sure of is that he needs you, whether that makes him inconsiderate or not. he can’t keep sleepwalking through life, but he’s not sure what else there is to do.

simply put, he misses you like hell. so he lays back in bed and closes his eyes, trying to remember what it felt like to have you right beside him.

@fawnchives @l9vesick @55sturn @luverboychris @teapartyprincess4two @pinksturniolo @mattinside @stonermattsgf @impureals @chrisactualwife @fikefries @riasturns @mattybsbitch @mattsmunch @sturnifyed @julessspoetry @beijhe @gnxosblog @braindead4l @orangeypepsi @ponyosturniolo @cupidsword @rainydayenthusiast @sturnvvz @wurlibydominicfike @poopydroopt @bernardsleftbootycheek @trilliwarner @rubyjanexxx @reallykaz @neatcarrot767 @kirby0strombolli @bunnysturns @junnniiieee07 @hrt-attack @sturnssmuts @stunza @beccaluvschris @asturniolos @slutz4sturniolos @mattslolita @alorsxsturn @sturnrc @chrissystur @kellsbells-18 @realqueenofpepsi @snowysosturn @secretfangirly @scarlettbitches @satvisfavetoodles

[cherry-pop-elf]

hiya, i was wondering if you could make a headcanon sorta thing with the weasleys and them realising they’re in love with reader

Gasp, that sounds so fluffy. I MUST!

Weasley siblings the moment they realize that they are in love

Warnings: Only really for Bill honesty. I have to make it from his werewolf wounds. So medical gore warning. Bullying as well, with some scared Ron. Because it will involve spiders.

William ‘Bill’

The moment his working eye was able to focus, he was able to see you. See you there. You were fast asleep next to him. Curled up in his side, with your arms tucked in on yourself. That way you wouldnt mess with his bandages and wounds. He was in so much pain, and could hardly breath, but you were there. He was able to see your hands were slightly red, seeming to be irritated. Thats when he noticed the bowl of water on his bedside table. Along with a bloody rag. You must have been busy with washing his fresh wounds, while he was knocked out. You were taking care of him, until you needed sleep as well. That warmed him, as he was clearly taken care of. Especially given where he was. The Wolf Ward. A place for people suffering werewolfism are stayed. People tied to beds, chained, hooked to IV's, near death, already dead, so many cases. Yet.....Here you were. You stayed. You stayed, made sure he was taken care of, and made sure he wasnt alone. You loved him. Loved him so much, despite the risks. Even as far as sleeping in the same bed as him. That was when he knew it. Knew he was in love. His breathing was able to move easier, as he wrapped his arm around you. Hurt like hell, but worth it. Worth it, as he was able to see you smile.

Charlie

"What?” He blinked, as he stared out his bedroom window. Looking down to see you there. “You heard me. I’ll cause a distraction. I know you are packed. Go on and go-!” You called, as he was jaw dropped. He had been arguing with his mother for ages about this. Molly didn’t want him to have such a dangerous job. But of course precious golden child Bill got to be a curse breaker. One would argue is even more dangerous. Despite the letters of people wanting him to work in Romania, his mother refused. Over and over again. Seems like someone had other plans. You. You knew this could be the last time you see him, but you just couldn’t let him rot away in England. So, you hatched a plan. You would distract Molly, and give him enough time to sneak into the fireplace and get to Romania. “You are bloody insane….I like that-“ Charlie had to smile, as you would run around to the front of the house. Leaving Charlie to make sure he was properly packed. While he made sure his dragon hide gloves were inside, he could hear you knocking the front door. The familiar creaks of his mother leaving her room, and heading to the front door. He tossed his bag over his shoulder, and hurried down the stairs. “Where is the floo-?” He hissed. Of course she would hide it. Making sure he couldn’t sneak off. Course, you were smart enough to think ahead. “Oh come in. I’ll fix you something. Poor thing out in the late night cold. Come on-“ The moment she stepped to the kitchen, you ran over to him. Handing him your bag of floo. “Go go-“ You whispered, as he stared into your eyes. His heart never felt so full. “Better promise to visit-“ And before you knew it, he was kissing you. Kissing you goodbye. You were dazzed, only to snap back when the flash of green of the fire place echoed. “What was that-?!” Molly called. “NOTHING-!” You squeaked, with your face flushed. Left Charlie in a sappy smile, as his new chapter begun. With you in it.

Percy

“Leave him alone!” Percy heard you shout, as he was currently being dangled from his ankle. For being a prefect, he sure did not get treated as such. Was ambushed by a gaggle of Slytherins, younger then him no less, and now he was up in the air. Unable to grab his wand, as he just did not have the core strength. Another taunt at him. “Oh? What will you do if we don’t?” A bully asked, as you kept your fists tight. Percy didn’t want you to fight for him, but you were willing to even though you knew you would lose. And lose you did. Hard. Least in the chaos, Percy was able to escape. Running off to get a teacher, and catching them red handed. Needless to say, suspension will not be to light. Now, there you two were. Sitting in the medical wing. Both sharing a bed, as you two sat together. “You didn’t have to-“ He muttered, as he fidgeted with his bandages. “Yeah I did. Someone’s gotta. Bill and Charlie were busy.” You tried to play off, before you felt his hand holding yours. “Still. Pretty stupid…” He grumbled, but you returned the hand holding. “Someone’s gotta be stupid, so you don’t have a stick up your butt.” You smiled, as he rested his head on your shoulder. Comforted, and at peace.

Fred

“Wicked-“ Fred whispered, as the two of you were huddled together. Hidden away in a corner of the Three Broom Sticks, as you two were bonding over the map. Able to just people watch so happily. George had been given detention, and Fred was able to have a reassuring comfort in seeing him on the map. Knowing he wasn’t anywhere dangerous, given what happened to Ginny. It also was comforting to be sitting with someone as well. The two of you just snuggled in the tavern, during a winters day. It was soft. Different from the normal madness he’s used to. It’s different, and he liked different. Different also meant a change in habits. Such as feeling you rest your head on his shoulder. Trying to snuggle closer, to get more warmth. He couldn’t help it, as he wrapped his arm around you. Just you cuddling, and oblivious, as you watched the map. So curious by it, as he was more fascinated by you now. Taking advantage of how distracted you were. Maybe quiet moments were nice. Couldn’t help but rest his head against yours, and take in your scent. A quiet moment. A moment to think, and he was thinking hard. Maybe he wanted more quiet moments like this. Couldn’t help his smile, as you pointed at a name on the map. Making up some speculation on why they were there at this time. Had him laugh, and just melt into the moment. Yeah. He wanted more of this.

George

“George George Georgie Georgie Georgie-!” You just wouldn’t stop shouting, as you were soon crashing into him. Right when he left the shop he was in. Having been helping his younger siblings with getting school supplies. “Hey-! Who says I’m George-?!” He joked, as you didn’t let go. “Because you are actually nice-!” You tease, as he was hugging you back. “Also you have a mole on your neck, Fred doesn’t-“ You whispered. That had him blink, as he reached to said neck. “Ha-! Made you look-!” You giggled so deviously, before he pushed you away. He was cackling though. “You got me, I won’t lie-!” He snorted, as you two were just in giggles. It was so nice. He liked to laugh, and sometimes laughter from someone who wasn’t identical to you was nice. You felt as natural to laugh with as Fred. That’s something special. You don’t come across that easy. He knew you were special, and that simple moment was nice. “George-! Help-!” Ginny called, as she struggled with her supplies. “Coming Gin Gin-!” He would hurry over, with you in toe. Instantly helping, all the same. He couldn’t stop his smile, as he watched you help Ginny out. Shit, he was in love. And he knew it.

Ron

“HELP-! PLEASE! SOMEONE-!” Ron was screaming bloody murder, as he was cowering in the corner of the stone corridor of the courtyard. A decently large spider was keeping him trapped on a bench, and trying to hide his body as much as he could in the corner. He was in tears, as he was trying to hide from the spider. Luckily, you could hear him. “IM COMING RON-!” You shouted, as you ran across the stones. Coming into view, and seeing what was distressing him. He was already expecting you to yell at him for being such a baby about it. You didn’t, but instead you focused on getting the spider away. You pulled out your wand, and remembered what Hermione taught you both. “Wingardium Leviosa-“ You called, and lifted the spider into the air. You then made sure to make as much distance from Ron as you could, and let it escape into the wild. Other side of the courtyard, and outside a window. That way it would return to the forest. Once done, you hurried back. Quick to hold Ron. “It’s ok, it was a big spider. Spiders can be pretty dangerous.” You comforted. Not teasing him, or calling him a baby. Not making fun of him, but actually took his fear seriously. The relief was in his tears, as he held you back. Holding you tightly, as you pet his hair. You understood it was a fear, and fears were serious. He was so relieved. You were his hero, and he owed you for it. His guardian Angel. “Thank you-“ He hiccuped, as you kissed his head. “You would have done the same, shush.” You tease, as you didn’t discount that he can be brave. That was the kicker that sparked something inside of him. He was smiling, as you held him. For as long as he needed. You cared about him, and he was sure caring about you.

Ginny

“Do you think I’ll ever become a Quidditch player-?” Ginny asked you, as you two were busy in class. Was History Of Magic, with Professor Binns. Boring as hell, so it wasn’t like you two were paying attention. “Yeah, doubting yourself?” You asked, as she played with her Quill. “Maybe…” She mumbled, before plopping her head on the table. Ever since that incident in the chambers, she got depressed far easier. Bill said that’s often a side effect of being involved with a long term curse, or being exposed to a Horcrux. Curse breaker stuff, so you didn’t really focus on it. Well, until Ginny needed help. She needed a cheerleader, and like hell you wouldn’t grab your Pom Pom’s and cheer. “You’ll be an amazing Qudditch player. I know it. The best even! You’ll make history.” You beam, as she watched you. Unable to really hear you, as she sighed. So, you did what you’ve seen her brothers do. You hugged her, and refused to let go. “Get off me-“ She whined, but you refused. “I shall suffocate you, until you say uncle-“ You warned, before she started to giggle at you. “Seriously, stop-“ She pleaded, but was giggling away. “Not until you say you are the best quidditch player ever. I mean it, I’m stubborn-“ You warned, as she threw her hands up in defeat. “I yield I yield. I shall be better than the likes of Viktor Krum, even-“ She spoke with sarcasm, but it’s a step. “Nope, you gotta mean it.” You refused, as she giggled again. “Eh, you’re comfy.” She retaliated, as you two ended up in a cuddle bundle. She was able to smile, and mean it. Was hard to do, since that incident. She liked it. Liked how you were able to do it so easy for her. Had her heart all a flutter. Guess that’s another thing she will need to ask her older brothers about. What to do when someone gives you butterflies?

[faggot-greg-house]

house is autistic i will accept no criticism

i have so many thoughts about house and autism. this might be the most unhinged post on my tumblr yet but here we go so house had the illusion of normalcy forced on him from a young age. i dont think thats like, full canon, but house talks about how his father abused him on more than one occassion and talked about how he was never satisfied or happy with house no matter what. so i truly dont think its a far reach to say that he would not have tolerated a "weird child." the thing that i think, though, is that all of his actions are a response to the fact that he's not particularly great at masking. he's afraid if he lets people close to him he won't be able to hide the fact that he's "weird" (aka bad). he intentionally pushes people away with his weird creepy comments and being an asshole and that's both him masking (if he's aggressively mean all the time no one will bother to look further) and a way of coping with the fact that he cant mask. the more he pushes people away the less likely it is that they'll see that he cares about things and that he's not "normal" like he's always been told. i also think that as the show went on, he got less and less concerned about masking. he constantly stims, he hyperfocuses and burns out, he panics about change, he treats his fellows a lot more like family. once he got to a point in his life where his "weirdness" is not something he can be ruined for (he's tenured and he has people who will fight for him) he found himself a lot more able to be aggressively autistic, even if he struggles with it due to trauma.

a huge Autism Moment in the show for me is when foreman quits and house fires chase. house has been afraid his whole life of showing who he actually is, as mentioned. his fellows, though, are his People, they knew all of his shit and they never ran awayy from it. they didnt question who he was and what he knew, only his methods, and they were willing to fight back against him (something he's shown he loves). but then foreman quits because he "doesnt want to be like house" and this is house's worst nightmare. this is exactly why he had normalcy beaten into him, because being weird only makes it that people will run away once they know you. he dared to let people see a bit of who he actually is and how he thinks and acts and foreman essentially said "i cant stand to be like you." on top of that fear, his team became Different. he doesnt know if chase or cameron thought the same things as foreman, if they were also judging him or hating him for being autistic. it sent him into fucking panic mode because how is he supposed to trust them when he doesnt know if they agree with foreman!!!!! and even if he could, the team is Different and its for a reason he cant control and he cant just go back to normal. his method of interviewing his new fellows also shows this - how is he supposed to be able to tell if someone will be okay with who he is and if they'll work well together based off a short intervew where he's almost certainly masking the whole time???? anyway. to end this absolutely unhinged post ive put together an inconclusive list of autistic traits and actions from house, and i want to say that so much of this is him being written off as an antisocial eccentric genius and, while he is an ass that cant be debated, it clearly runs deeper than that!!!!

he doesnt understand how ppl feel (he repeatedly talks about how small talk is like a guessing game for him and he doesnt know what to say)

he doesnt like to be touched (for a lot of the show people just do Not touch him, wilson excluded)

he stims constantly and he needs Sensations

he's blunt, rude, somewhat monotone, etc

he has a hard time making friends

he has a hard time saying what he feels (he'd rather joke or be mean than analyse his emotions)

he has a routine that he Sticks To (even thgh its not exactly the same because of patients etc, he goes to work late, he talks to the same people, he sits in his same office. he's shown coming to work sick at one point and he doesnt rly go on vacation. plus when cuddy took his bloodstained carpet it was such a fundamental change to his life that he couldnt deal)

he notices Everything (yes ik this is a sherlock holmes thing but consider sherlock holmes - also autistic)

he has a method and train of thought that works for him and he is unwilling to break from it (he's shown at least once stopping the fellows from writing on his whiteboard, and after he loses the og three he continues trying to hold ddx's because its how he Thinks)

[invisible-brandy]

im gonna re: my own tags from a personal post and talk about spock at the academy utilising their kitchen like an actual person who can cook while most students eat instant noodles and synthesized food (or go out to eat - but that's expensive).

and kirk (who absolutely can not cook for shit at that age yet) smells something delicious and like a cartoon character follows that smell into the kitchen, expecting to find someone who brought in some take out, but instead it's spock quietly talking shit about the cheap pots and pans they have in there. is it illogical to talk to himself? sure. will he still do it? also sure, probably partially in vulcan too because he misses it wants to stay comfortable in his use of it. and for a few minutes jim just stands in the hallway, staring at this vulcan–their only vulcan, in fact, so he knows who he is–and he'd stand there longer admiring spock's beauty if his stomach didn't growl like it's trying to invite itself to dinner and that alerts spock and he's just standing there with a spoon in his hands awkwardly, posture like a question mark and a little red in the cheeks because of the steam from the pots.

of course jim gets to share the meal with him. and THEN amanda sends spock more cooking utensils, because spock of course in his letter (god i think spock would like hand written letters) or on their videochat says that the ones they have in the communal kitchen are trash and "it affected the quality of my meal and my dignity, mother" and amanda gets all perky eared like "your dignity? why, son, do tell me?" "im afraid ive put shame on your family recipe when i shared the meal i cooked with a human from my course."

amanda would absolutely want her baby to make friends through cooking them meals. AND and and

mccoy would also be one of the few people who can actually cook, but he's a terrible night owl, so for a bit they don't cross paths.

then, exam season hits and suddenly jim is in the kitchen at 2 am, sitting on the counter, feet swinging in the air, and he's still trying to convince spock to actually make them a meal (spock is in pajamas because he refuses to stay up too late to study "you're supposed to do during the day time, jim", but he's actually also been lying in bed and reciting material in his head because he is very illogically anxious before their first exam. he's starting to suspect some heart disease bc his heart wont calm down, but its actually just anxiety. kirk tells him that eventually). spock keeps trying to insist on something lighter, just a snack, and then bones comes in and shooes jim away from the counter so he can cook.

and spock and bones could later have joking (but with serious vibes) competitions for who can cook a meal that jim likes best (even going as far as to make the same meal and present it anonymously to jim. jim is both stressed and very happy and well fed) and of course they'd end up hanging out together outside of the communal kitchen too.

bones wouldn't be able to keep jim from perching up on top of kitchen counters or his desk, or really anywhere that he finds comfortable or sometimes even uncomfortable if it's at least a convenient place to sit and flirt with either bones or spock.

spock would get more packages from amanda and somehow they'd all end up going to the post office ("it's not that big of a package to need two humans and a vulcan to carry it, it's only some herbs" "spock, you are clearly yet to understand mothers. there are not gonna be only some herbs") and carrying the surprisingly giant box back under sudden rain. mccoy would either get splashed or just not be dressed for the weather and spock would lend him his jacket and it would be super warm and mccoy who always grows cold would kinda want to hoard it for himself, but he'd feel bad that first time.

not the next time though. they'd go out to the town and jim and bones would be drinking while spock would be trying to figure out if he likes bars or nightlife in general and bones would complain dramatically that he's cold and spock would of course lend him his jacket. spock would never see that jaket again, it's mccoy's now. (both because it's really warm and because it smells like spock)

[softxsuki]

hi!! id like to make an urgent request please :)

tw !! mention of self harm / new sh wounds , mention of a blade

if you’re alright with it, id like to request a (romantic) hawks x gn!reader where hawks walks in on reader relapsing.

ive recently grown more and more stressed and tired lately, like my energy is constantly being drained and no matter how hard i try im not enough to stop it. and i wanna reach out for help cause i know i have friends who care about me but i just cant for some reason—i dont feel the need to ask for help cause i just dont think i deserve it. no matter how many times ill comfort others i was never strong enough to ask for the same comfort, and instead of going to someone and talking about it i turn to my blade.

hawks is a big comfort character of mine and my current hyperfix, and as embarassing as it is—reading comfort fanfics of him is a way of coping with it all. so id gladly appreciate if you could write this for me :) ++ if possible, id love if youd be able to include hawks cleaning reader’s cuts, cleaning them bringd me a sense of comfort and id love to see that in the fic.

but if you’re uncomfy about anything at all, no worries ! you dont have to write this if you dont wanna :) have a lovely day<3

Hawks Comforting Reader After They Self-Harm

please do not read if any kind of mentions of self-harm will do you more harm than good!

Pairing: Hawks x Gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of self harm, blade, blood, scars

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 750

Summary: In which your BF Hawks catches you self harming and cleans up your fresh cuts

[A/N: Hey hey, so sorry for taking so long to write this, I know it was urgent. I just happened to get sick randomly and couldn't focus to write. But I finally got this done for you! I hope you're still around to read it </3. Hopefully it provides you with some comfort. Always go to others for help before taking matters into your own hands. Even if you feel like you can't, I'm sure the people in your life would love to help you out <3 I'm here too if you ever need anything! Enjoy!]

You look back and forth between the bloody mess in front of you to the panicked face of Keigo who had walked in on you. 

He was supposed to be gone for the whole day, patrolling his designated area until later that evening. Who knew he’d stop by to check in on you, hoping to have lunch together before continuing his patrol duties. Yet, coming home to you hovering over the bathroom sink with blood dripping from your delicate skin was not what he expected at all.

Of course he knew about your history with self-harm and could very clearly see all your past scars on your body, but he never expected to see you actively harm yourself in front of him. 

“Y/N…” He starts cautiously, eyeing the blade in your hands as you shake with regret.

“I’m sorry,” you cry, dropping the blade in the sink and moving your bleeding wrists away from his view, but he quickly closes the space between you.

Gentle hands grab your own and inspect the damage done. He rolls up the sleeves of his hero suit and gets to work on cleaning you up. With a clean towel he dabs the blood away, applying slight pressure to help stop the bleeding a little, whispering an apology whenever you flinch from the pain. 

He’s silent; contemplating how he let it get this far. He was a hero for crying out loud and the one person he wanted to keep safe the most out of everyone else in the world, managed to get harmed while he was away. He was angry and frustrated at himself that he couldn’t prevent the fresh cuts on your arms. All those nights he kissed your scars and whispered sweet promises of love and protection were all for nothing. Why couldn’t he be more useful to you?

“Keigo, I didn’t mea-” you start, but he quickly cuts you off as he finishes applying the bandage wrap to your wrist.

“I’m sorry. This isn’t your fault, it’s mine. I should have known something was off, I should have paid more attention and been around to help instead of being out. I’m sorry.”

He presses kisses to your bandaged wrist, just wishing that he could have the magical healing power that Recovery Girl’s kisses had. He wished he could kiss all your pain away and face it all himself in your stead. 

“No, no, this is all on me. You’re always there for me, telling me how much you love me and trying your best to encourage me and lift me up, but I always hold back,” you confess, snatching your arms away from him in guilt, “You’re so busy as it is saving everyone. I don’t want to add to your burdens with my own problems as well. I thought I could deal with it all alone, but I failed. I turned back to my blade because it was too much to bear on my own.”

He sighs, and this time brings you into his arms in an embrace, “That’s because we’re not meant to go through these things alone, babe. Even as a hero I don’t do things on my own either. I have a whole agency backing me up along with my other fellow heroes. No one can accomplish anything on their own without hurting themselves. So please let me be there for you to help you as much as you’ve helped me.”

Silent sobs escape your lips as he continues to hold you and speak.

“All those days when you held me after I failed to save someone. All those nights you patched me up after a mission and I stubbornly refused to go to a hospital; let me be there for you for all your tough times as well. Let me be the one to gather you up again and listen to all your worries, don’t fight your battles alone anymore. I promise you’re not a bother to me at all. I want to be there for you. It’s my job,” he reassures you. 

“All right,” you sniffle, finally wrapping your own arms around him, accepting his comfort.

He calls the agency afterwards, letting them know that he can’t come in for the rest of the day and instead spends his time with you. Listening intently to everything that’s been bubbling up in your heart, right by your side, wiping your tears away and giving you his unconditional support and love. He’s definitely making sure you don’t deal with things on your own anymore :)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted 3/5/2023

[revived--c]

Taking Care of You

So sorry this took so long, I got really stuck on it for a minute and had to keep rewriting things. If the ending seems a bit rushed I'm so sorry

This was a request from @themonstracerock !

CW: Mentions of self hatred(?), Character death mentions, Dew being a little shit kind of, Hurt/Comfort

Aether was the last one in the infirmary. Which wasn't uncommon for the quintessence ghoul, he liked to work late because it meant he could work at his own pace and focus on paperwork that needed to be done.

Today, though, was truly exhausting. There was a sudden outbreak of Siblings getting sick (flu season, it's fantastic) which caused both him and the other siblings who worked in the infirmary to run around literally all day.

It made his legs ache and his back sore and– more pressing– his magic to be on the fritz and cause his focus to waver.

Which is why he hadn't realized someone else was in the doorway of his tiny office, currently desperately leaning against the wall like their life depended on it.

Dew had basically clawed his way out of his room and down the 3 halls to get here. His body felt like it was on fire. Which, it technically was. Everything in him ached and felt like he had been hit by a bus and then dropped off a 30 story building.

The elemental transition was not treating him well. He wasn't even supposed to survive it technically, since Sister had admitted to him beforehand that it was, quote; “highly experimental and extremely risky” to do.

But the clergy didn't want to waste anymore time or resources to summon a new fire ghoul after they had just (forcefully) sent one back. Ifrit.

And Dew had a habit of thinking he deserved all this pain. That it was his fault somehow that Ifrit got sent back. So he had to take the fire ghouls shoes and hope to the unholy father that he could fill them.

Dew hasn't been able to really move in the last couple days, the pain so intense it'd make him dizzy and loose everything in his stomach. He couldn't hold down any food and if he tried water or any other liquid (like Pedialyte like one of the siblings suggested) it seemed like his body would inflame from the inside and burn it all out.

So he stopped trying. He curled up into a tight little ball on his bed and refused to move. He hadn't shown up to any of the meetings discussing the new Cardinal. No breakfast, lunch or dinner. No practice. Nothing. 

Aether and Mountain had been trying to get him to open up and let them help him- but the little ghoul refused and would snap at them to, “Go away! I don't need your fucking help!”

Dew wants to punch himself in the throat for that, because clearly he needs help. He needs it right now.

That's why he's standing in Aether's office doorway now. Struggling to breathe and even stand.

When Aether finally noticed him, the quint jumped out of his skin.

“Help..” Dew croaked, his voice dry and scratchy. “Please, Aeth.. fuck..”

“Dew!? Oh satanas” he got up out of his chair so fast it spun.

That's when Dew slowly started sliding down the wall, his legs in too much pain anymore to hold him up. Aether quickly caught the little ghoul before he hit the ground. He immediately started pumping quintessence into him through their mate bond, trying to ease the pain enough so he could put Dew down onto a bed and hook him up.

Dew weakly turned his head and glanced up at Aether, his vision quickly turning dark.

Dew woke with a jolt, hissing in regret as his body screamed at him in protest. He quickly flopped back down.

He stared blankly up at the white ceiling for a moment before looking around. Wincing when he saw the IV fluid tubes attached to him.

He hated those things, they gave him the creeps.

“You're awake– oh thank satanas you're awake” 

Dew startled a bit before a hand reached for his hand and squeezed. He looked down and there was a very worried but relieved Aether. Looking at him with a desperate look.

Dew cringed, scrunching his nose “Of course I am? Why do you look so concerned?”

Aether's ears drooped, “Dew.. you looked like you were on deaths door when you showed up here” he let go of his hand “don't you remember that?”

“I guess” Dew shrugged.

Aether considered the little, newly made, fire ghoul for a minute. Why was he acting this way? Couldn't he tell everyone, especially himself that he was concerned for Dew? 

He couldn't stand seeing him like this. Couldn't stand seeing Dew slowly destroying himself with his stubborn attitude. It was in Aether's nature to want to help, nurture and protect his pack mates. Dew is his pack mate. He's the ghoul he fell in love with at first sight when being dragged out of the Pits. He was the first ghoul that extended a hand to the terrified quintessence ghoul.

Aether's jaw tensed, he decided right then and there.

“No”

Dew looked up at Aether then, “What do you mean no? What're you talking about?”

“I mean no,” Aether reached over to the nightstand next to Dews bed “I'm not letting you do this any longer”

Dew huffed a laugh, “Do what any longer?”

“Destroy yourself!” He handed Dew the glass of water

Dew looked at it questionably before wrinkling his nose and turning away, “I don't want it”

Aether sat back, “Fine!” putting the glass to his lips.

Dew rolled his eyes– then suddenly Aether gripped his jaw, squeezed his cheeks– forcing Dew to open his mouth.

Aether smashed their lips together in an open mouthed kiss and forced the cold water down Dews throat.

Dew scrambled and pushed Aether away, sputtering “What in the nine circles is your fucking deal!?”

“You're not getting away with all this anymore” Aether huffed “You won't even be able to scratch your own ass without me knowing now!”

Dew hissed, “Oh fuck off! You're not my boss!”

“Too damn bad, Dewdrop ghoul!” Aether smirked with some mirth, “You have no choice on the matter”

“For fucks sake..”

Nobody truly knows how Dew recovered so well in the end, they had assumed he just shaped up on his own. Aether stuck true to his promise and followed him around like a guard dog, making sure he took the proper medication and care to his body the whole way.

They ended up inseparable.

[skellyflowers]

Happy Birthday To Me

Hello today, September 14, is MY birthday! If you read this you have to wish me a happy birthday.

I woke up late. Late for me atleast. As I stretched I realized two things. One, I was alone in bed, something that rarely happens. Two, it's my birthday! The realization that it was my birthday made me feel a little sad that I was alone in bed.

Before I can think too hard the bedroom door opens. II walks in followed by IV. IV is holding a tray full of food. They brought me breakfast in bed! How sweet. 

“Good morning Darling.” II said as the tray was placed on my lap.

“Happy birthday baby.” IV said, giving me a kiss on the cheek. 

“Thank you boys.” I say, looking over the tray of food. “Where are the others?”

“III is cleaning up. Vessel is making sure he does it.” IV answers.

The mental image makes me laugh. I picture III with a rag in his hand, wiping up a mess he potentially made. All while Vessel keeps a watchful eye on him.

“Poor thing.” I say, with a giggle.

“He should have been more careful. That’s what he gets.” II responds. “Hurry up before the food gets cold.”

I take a moment to look at the breakfast they brought me. It really is a little bit of everything. Eggs, bacon, sausage links, potatoes, toast and pancakes. I have a glass of orange juice and a cup of coffee. There is even a small bowl of fruit. I'm not going to be able to finish all of this.

“Fuck this is good!” I say between bites.

“Glad you like it.” IV says.

“When you're done, get dressed and go down stairs, the ladies are wanting for you.” II tells me.

After I finish all the breakfast I can handle I get ready to meet the ladies. I see IV finish the food I couldn't and laugh. The boys walk me down stairs and the Espera are waiting in the living room with Vessel and III. They were all talking until I walked in. Clearly they are planning something. III runs up to me and picks me up while shouting happy birthday.

“Did you like your breakfast?” Vessel asks.

“Yes. It was delicious, thank you.” I say when III puts me down but not letting me go. “I heard that you were on clean up duty.” I tease.

“Don’t remind me!” III says dramatically. “It was horrible.” His lanky arms tighten around me.

“Don’t feel too bad. It was his mess.” Vessel says, putting a large hand on the top of my head.

“That’s what II said.” 

“You all are so mean to me!” III pouts.

I hear the Espera laugh at the scene in front of them. I then feel multiple sets of hands start to gently pull me away from III.

“NO! THEY JUST GOT HERE!” he loudly complains.

“We have plans with them, you know that.” Nyxia said calmly. “We will return them when we are done.” 

III lets out a huff and IV takes my place. II rolls his eyes at the drama but still puts a comforting hand on III’S back. Vessel follows close behind me as the ladies lead me to the manor's front door.

“Have fun today.” Vessel whispers, giving me a hug. I almost didn't want to leave his arms. “See you later tonight.” Vessel then gently pushed me towards the Espera.

The ladies end up taking me downtown. Vesperine then holds up a little black card and pushes it into my hand. I take a look at it and realize it is Vessel’s credit card! I look up at the ladies with wide eyes. They laugh at my expression.

“You're hard to shop for, so the boys thought it would be easier to just finance your birthday gift instead.”

I feel my face getting warm. They're right. I hate asking people to buy stuff for me, but the bluntness still makes me feel embarrassed. I look down at the credit card one more time before looking back up with the ladies. Well if they gave me the card I might as well use it.

After a few hours I had multiple shopping bags, bought lunch and took the ladies to a movie. A part of me felt bad using Vessel’s credit card, but the Espera’s encouragement quickly drowned out that feeling. They reminded me how the boys wanted to give me the card and get whatever I wanted.

The sun is setting when we get home. The ladies help me bring in my bags and take them to my room. As I follow them inside I call out to the boys.

“Come to the kitchen.” I hear II call back.

As I walk into the kitchen it is pitch black. Just as I try to feel around the wall for the light switch the lights come on.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” the boys shout when the lights come on.

Once I recover for the jumpscare I got I see that the kitchen is decorated for my birthday. There is a ‘happy birthday’ banner and pictures of me all over the kitchen. All of the boys are wearing birthday hats and I see balloons hitting the ceiling. Hopefully III and Vessel are tall enough to grab the stings later. On the kitchen island is a cake! It has two candles for my age and the icing on top spells out ‘happy birthday to our beloved fifth!’

“Awww, guys!” I say, on the verge of tears.

“Happy Birthday Babe.” said IV

“Blow out your candles before the wax gets on the cake!” II says, as he presents me with the cake. The Espera start to sing me happy birthday. 

They cheer when I blow out my candles. II starts to cut a piece for each of us. The cake is absolutely perfect. It is a chocolate cake with strawberry filling and slides strawberries inside! It is so good I think I'm going to cry again.

“What did you wish for?” Vessel asks.

“They didn’t need to make a wish.” III interrupts before I get a chance to answer. “All their wishes came true when we all met.”

I can’t help but laugh. He can be so cocky, but he is right. Not that I would say that out loud and inflate his ego even more.

“That laugh means I’m right!” III says.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full!” IV says, clearly grossed out.

When I finish my slice of cake I take a look at the pictures hanging in the kitchen. There are pictures from Worships, on and off stage, late night music sessions, pictures of me sleeping and pictures from the first dates I went on with each of the boys. All the boys are sentimental but these last four pictures are very special.

“Ready for gifts?” Vessel asks as he wraps his arms around me from behind.

“I thought your credit card was my gift.” I grab his hands and lace our fingers together.

“That was one part of it.”

“Hey! Unless you two plan to include the rest of us, stop that!” II yells. I don’t think people realize how cuddly he likes to be.

I giggle and look up at Vessel. He in turn frees one of his hands and grabs my face. He then gives me a kiss and all the boys erupt in protest. I feel him laugh in my mouth before pulling away.

“You’ll all get a turn soon enough.” He says almost ominously. I can’t ask what he means by that before he pulls me towards the island that now has three gifts.

IV pulls me away from Vessel and places me between him and III. The two of them, clearly jealous of the attention Vessel was receiving. II pushes my gifts toward me, there are two gift bags and one box. The first bag had a pair of bat earrings inside. They had rubies for eyes and were so cute!

“We got you those.” Nxyria said. “We knew you would love them.”

“I do!” I confirm.

The second bag has a black leather choker inside. The choker has an o-ring with the band symbol as a tag attached. The leather is also very shiny and buttery soft. I almost couldn’t stop touching it.

“Like it?” IV asks, breaking me out of my trance.

“Yes. I love it.”

“Perfect. Hopefully it’s not too snug.” III says.

“I’m sure it will be fine.” I say.

“Last one.” Vessel says, pushing the box into my hands.

I carefully rip the gift wrap off the box. III collects the trash from me when I finish. Lifting up the lid I see red tissue paper inside. On top of the tissue paper is a small card. The card reads ‘One last gift.’ I recognize that Vessel wrote the note. When I lift the paper I'm greeted with black lace. Of course they got me lingerie. I’m more surprised that I only saw one set. This is one of those things they hardly agree on.

“I need to see you in that.” III moans in my ear.

“Upstairs. Now.” Vessel growls.

Who am I to say no.

[itspikamefan]

Made a Doc that I THINK has all the necessary evidence needed cor the Upcoming Trial but anyways Ive fallen way too hard for Tetro Pink so here’s my theory on the killer!

Link to said Doc btw:

With that out of tbe way here’s my suspect list:

Watari, Tamba, Masa, and Hiroaki: Its probably rather presumptuous to say anyone isn’t the culprit, but IDRC because Im like 99% certain none of these fuckers are the culprit. (Okazaki is also part of this group but I have a theory on her for later). Watari and Tamba gave a rock solid Alibi for the night, Masa was one of the people to discover the body, and Hiroaki just doesn’t feel like it would. Between him taking charge of the group, being too much of an asshole, and just generally being scared of blood, I don’t think he did it. He also has an alibi it’s just not as solid…

Tsuno, Kamimura, and Wada: I don’t think any of these guys are the culprit, but unlike the former 4 (Or 5 Rather) I could potentially see them. However, I do think they all have solid defenses. Tsuno was taking care of Wada while he healed. Wada was… well… unconscious … And Kamimura claimed to have been in his room all night with Hasegawa (Not to mention helped a bunch with the case). And also just as the Ultimate Crime Scene Cleaner him leaving THAT much blood just doesn’t make sense.

Hanagi and Hayashi: The only Woman who I think would be most likely to do this + The man who is an obviously pretty decent suspect. They aren’t my personal top suspects but I can definitely say they have reason to kill or accidentally kill Chiba. Im not going to say for certain but either one of them does have that possibility.

Ojima and Hasegawa: Both are definitely suspicious as fuck. Ojima sleeping in Hiroaki’s room and SUDDENLY a bloodstain is on the Bottom of Hiroaki’s mattress?! Nuh uh, I don’t buy it. Not to mention him spacing out the whole investigation. Then again that sort of his disability so I can’t really call him sus for that but still… Suspicious.

And as for Hasegawa, Originally It hought he was safe due Kamimura’s Alibi, however late testimony unveiled that Harada saw him put in the hallway. Now is it possible Harada is lying? Definitely. Is it also possible Hasegawa accidentally murdered Chiba and Kamimura is just covering for him? Strong possibility.

And before we get to our Obvious Prime Suspect…

Okazaki: Y’all cannot tell me this masked bitch is not suspect as fuck. However, her alibi clearly means that she was not the killer. So what’s her deal then? Simple. She tampered with the crime scene. My guess is the Real Killer moved Chiba’s body to the Medbay to try and save her but failed and left her there, and the Okazaki, to make the murder more “Interesting”, pulled the Byakuya Togami ass move and hung her body from the ceiling, including putting her Pajamas on her to hide her injuries (With her assuming no one would be able to get her without the ladder, which she probably also disassembled). So yeah, Okazami villainous as fuck. I fucking know it.

And finally… That leads to our Prime Suspect and most likely Culprit…

Harada

Yeah I’m sorry y’all, but you can’t tell me it doesn’t make sense. His alibi is… rather lackluster, his only verifiable witness being Hasegawa (Which we can’t even confirm). Him being on the search for his motive item, his past, his connection to Chiba, and all the other potential unknowns, I can’t not suspect Harada. I will say that y’all can feel free to clown on me if he isn’t the culprit, but I’m like 90% sure we’re losing Animal Boy Next week. Sorry y’all :(

Anyways that’s just my piece but let me know your thoughts!!!

[tossball-stick]

MORE TRANSFEM KIERAN

hii kicks my feet. twirls my hair. does a little spin. i wanted to write these out sooo much sooner but i got sick :(( luckily!! im here now!!!! so today ive decided to share some camp transition hcs. personally i dont actually think she would have the time to transition in the gang.. buuuuut its still nice 2 think about :) maybe later ill make a post about the domestic au ive got for her. smiles big and wide

sean is immediately supportive of her transition. this isnt really cause for suspiscion, sean is also trans of course. until his true intentions are revealed and hes simply staring at a womens fashion catalogue in the undergarments section holding it out to kieran and pointing, "i think youd look good in that one ;)"

eventually kieran is doing some of the ladies workload, she is one of them, after all (though i imagine her true role even post transition would be a little more mixed, like karen, who can be seen going on watch and such). of course this means grimshaw eventually coming by to nitpick her the same way she does for the rest of the women. chastised for not being ladylike enough, or being improper. i imagine susan and kieran get along pretty well, honestly, i can imagine kieran being a very effective little worker bee for her that goes along with whatever she says in an attempt to pass. susan clearly knows about being a woman. kieran wants to be a woman. its perfect!

you would think if i headcanoned bill as gay and kieran as a woman i would believe that bill eventually loses his crush on her. you would be wrong. very wrong. i think it maybe seems that way at first, but realistically bills manner of attraction has simply shifted. with men you can be rough and rowdy and awful and its expected, even when trying to court one, but trying to court a lady? now, thats a long process of wearing her down with charisma, wooing her, being a gentleman. things bill williamson sucks at. really badly. i think he would simply stop making moves on her because he just doesnt know how, but i dont think his actual feelings change even remotely

thusly, people start looking at bill weird the times he gets drunk and does dare to flirt with kieran. i imagine people would offer to have a talk with him about it, but she would just smile and shake her head, because bill stumbling over his words to drunkenly call her pretty was one of the best feelings shes ever had

i doubt hosea and dutch would care. really. i think either way they keep her stationed with the horses. it makes her happy and ultimately she is helping around camp more now. theres no loss of hands to complain about, they werent taking her on jobs anyway

her and molly!! i knowwww molly is saying some shit like "youre clearly just pretending, wearing that skirt with that lipstick" and it very quickly snowballs into convincing arthur to take them out on the town and buying kieran some clothes with at least a little class. maybe they kiss while out there. whos to say

look. all im saying is. if kieran goddamn duffy can become a woman then sadie adler can become a man. and sadie adler fucking haaaaaates that the start of his transition was watching an o'driscoll transition first. and i also think it would be really funny and i wanna torture that tboy some more.

grows her hair out for sure, i think in any other setting she would wear it down more than up, but due to the nature of her chores at camp, shes keeping the hair off the back of her neck

i can imagine mary-beth and her sitting together on a quiet night, kieran listening to her talk about whatever dime novel or bodice ripper she'd been able to get her hands on lately. its nice and all, but shes mostly just listening, shes not much of a reader, and mary-beth is clearly talking like she wants the man. until, out of nowhere, shes bringing up how the savior is always the men, and how, sometimes, it made her even more giddy to picture the "men" with long hair and even more identity protection, and thinking about them being women masquerading as men. seemingly, kieran is a lot more engaged now that mary-beth is talking about being saved by a woman that is stuck looking like a man for whatever reason. of course, mary-beth doesnt miss this little detail. theyre sharing drinks by the end of the night.

i think one of her first gender moments was getting her first skirt of course. but i think it only really hit her when she had to mount branwen sidesaddle for the first time, and get used to riding him like that. it was kinda like learning to ride a horse all over again. it gets branwen involved in her transition as well and i think thatd be crucial for her; bonding with her beloved horse in a new way, being a woman while doing it. even if he wasnt a part of such a big moment for her, i still think she would gush to him about all the womanly things she got to do that day. branwen is always the first to hear when a day goes by and she barely feels like a man the whole time.

i hope this was enough food to keep you and any other transfem kieran enthusiasts fed for a bit ^-^

[nicofan57]

i wanted to talk about this clip so here’s my thoughts on it and the entire situation from yesterday (rest is under the cut)

(transcript:

minute: oh but why wemmbu, why, we- clown you and i were against him before, why-

clown: i didn’t like it either, okay, let me- you know why-

minute: ill tell you better- ill tell you better than anyone he’s just gonna use you and spit you out whenever it’s convenient. or whenever you’re no longer convenient for him. i know it better than anyone!

clown: i think we can handle wemmbu.

minute: he can't die!

clown: oh but he could drop- (?)

minute: he's just gonna sit tens of thousands of blocks out and wait for everyone to kill each other until he's the last one. i know this better than anyone! why didn't you talk to me?)

so first let’s dissect this clip. minute saying "i know this better than anyone" brings me back to kings s1 . they worked together to take down the other team that had the mythics and when wemmbu finally got a hold of the lifestealer (i can’t remember the exact details.. time for a rewatch) he threw minute out, saying there could only be one king. which sucks more when you think about at the start of the server, minute was open to teaming with wemmbu because he genuinely thought they were friends like he was not seeing that coming. someone warned him wemmbu is not trustworthy and he went “wemmbus my boy he wouldnt do that" (or something along those lines). and it’s like. well he did end up doing that. and minute realized he was being used all along.

fast forward to foundation when wemmbu literally said something along the lines of (again, sorry this might not be accurate) he’d team with minute because

- minute is powerful

- he has gear sets

- he would give him stuff

and most of all because he’s too kind for his own good. he wants peace even with his enemies, which we all know from the current arc right now. and wemmbu knows that all too well he knows he wouldnt refuse siding with him even considering their history on kings. anyway we all know how the abyss arc turned out for them with the orbital

so here is this clip i posted a while ago (linked here, because i cant put more than one video in a post apparently) where minute talks about how wemmbu's betrayed him a million times and how he says it hurts but he moves past it (this guy....) well clearly he’s not going to move past it now. because behind his back wemmbu has been working with zam, the person trying to break him mentally, and wemmbu’s stolen his position of power and is going to undo everything he’s worked towards. and the worst part about it is that he even convinced minutes teammates from day one to vote for him.

it’s pretty clear that wemmbu knows minute more and is able to get to him better than zam, he knows how to get into his head, he knows what actually fucks minute up, and no offense to zam because zam did end up winning… he achieved his goal by employing wemmbu! but i noticed minute isnt worried about zam that much anymore, or any of the players at all. it’s wemmbu because he knows what wemmbu can do and he knows how fucked up the server is going to be under his presidency. worst of all he knows what’s going to happen to his friends, he’s been in their shoes before, he knows they’re going to be left for dead when all is said and done, and even though they betrayed him and voted for wemmbu he still wants to save them because he knows it all too well (i think he also did say this). he still has some good left in him, even after the betrayal.

though the players are using wemmbu's presidency term to get what they want, it’s always going to end up being minute against wemmbu, it’s a cycle that ive noticed keeps repeating lately . thank you all forcoming to my ted talk

(p.s. i copied and pasted this from my twitter thread sorry if theres any weird formatting. or typos. or bad english pleabse be nice to me smiles)

[jasminedragonart]

ive been getting a few inboxes lately about gofundme requests in references to different beliefs like Gaza ans Ukraine. I think I've made the mistake of posting one to this blog before for something else but I'm just stating it here that I will not be reblogging things like this to this blog.

If you hate this, fine. But this blog is mainly for my art and sometimes fanart whenever I remember fanart Friday is a thing.

I know a lot of people like to post about world news and keep others informed and that's great, but it's not what I want this blog to be about.

It's great that I have followers and people who like my art but this blog is mainly kind of like an art diary for me. If it's anything other than art then if I do post it I'll likely delete if after a while or not post it at all because I mainly just want to scroll and see my art.

Again, if you have a problem with this there are a lot of other blogs who post about fundraisers and gofundme requests and everything else. But I don't have the time to vet every one of these requests and I dont want to post anything I dont know the true source of in terms of real fundraisers and such. This might be hard to believe but I was raised in a time where you were not allowed to give money online. Like it was clearly a scam, and the mindset hasn't really left. I don't want to mislead anyone so if you are sending requests like these kindly don't and if you are looking for reliable sources for donating money I think a lot of people are tech savvy enough these days to be able to do their own diligent research and find actual websites and people to donate to.

If you are going to send hate about this I'd like you to kindly read this entire blog post before sending it as I think I'm being very reasonable as to why I don't want to post things like this here

[orangesaek]

Ok so I've been learning Korean recently and thought it was so cute how 포포(popo) means kiss and 포도(podo) means grapes.

So Ive been thinking of a cute scenario with Mark where his s/o is learning korean and mixes the two up when asking for grapes and it makes mark super flustered.

omg my boy mark lee 🥹 i could easily imagine his flustered face lmao should i name this "the grape mistake"? 👀 sorry anyway, thanks so much for requesting this! let me know what you think ♡ hope you liked this! a/n: not proofread. lowercase intended.

mark was working in the studio late at night when you texted him that you'll be visiting him at the company to bring him some snacks and just hang out until he finishes work since you didn't have anything to do the next day anyway.

he mentioned about craving some street food the other day, and so you went to the night market. of course, knowing how much your boyfriend loves watermelon, you started looking for the nearest fruit stand. much to your dismay, the only fruit stand that was open that time ran out of everything else except grapes.

it hasn't been that long since you have moved to korea, but you were already quite quick to learn the language (also thanks to mark's help). however, you never really bothered to learn some of the most basic words for some reason. like fruits, for example.

you were just standing in front of the fruit stand quietly for about a minute, trying to remember a word you never even learned before. you were just about to say grapes in english when the stall owner decided to speak first.

"do you want to buy some grapes? they're fresh," she said. you knew she was talking about the grapes (because obviously there was nothing else in her stall but grapes), but it was the first time you've ever heard of the korean word for it.

"i'm so sorry, but what do you call this fruit in korean?" you asked, hoping she wouldn't find your question too silly. the stall owner gave you a bit of a puzzled look before realizing that you were a foreigner.

"it's called podo," she kindly repeated. after thanking the kind lady and memorizing the word in your brain, you went on your way to mark's studio.

on normal occasions, nobody else but strictly the company staff and artists were allowed to enter the building. however, thanks to mark's popularity within the company and the company actually owing him a lot of gratitude, you were given a bit of a special treatment as his girlfriend.

you were about to knock on the door of his studio but decided otherwise, thinking he might be in the middle of recording something and end up disrupting his work. instead, you sent him a text message that you were already outside of his studio, and thankfully, he was able to immediately open the door for you.

"my babyyy," he greeted in english, clearly delighted to see you again. more often than not, the two of you spoke in english whenever you're alone together. when his members are around, however, you'd mix korean here and there.

he ushered you inside before taking the food you bought for him and placing it on an empty table. he then opened his arms wide and patted his chest for you to come to him for a hug.

"you know you didn't have to bother, but thank you so much for all of this, babe" mark said as he tightened his embrace. "really appreciate it, thank you."

right after eating, mark went back to work while you quietly scrolled through your phone. the two of you were in comfortable silence though, and that was one of the many things that mark appreciated about you. you weren't the type to constantly seek for his attention, and you knew how to entertain yourself when he's busy.

"babe, there are still some grapes left, right? can you please get them for me?" he asked. you got on your feet and passed him the remaining grapes.

"thank you," he said before putting his headphones back on. he placed the grapes on the right side, which was on the other side from where you were seated.

while you were scrolling through your phone, you could see mark pop a grape or two in his mouth every now and then while he was on his computer. you never got the chance to taste one while you were eating earlier (because you were too full), and looking at mark just eating it so deliciously made you want to have some, too.

mark was about to put another grape in his mouth when you lightly poked his left arm. he then looked at you, the grape still between his right thumb and index finger.

"podo juseyo~" you asked in an aegyo voice, both hands open in a gesture to receive. mark blinked at you twice, suddenly feeling flustered while you were there just cutely blinking your eyes at him, waiting for him to give you the grape he was holding.

"w-what?" he nervously asked, his ears turning red at seeing you ask for a 'kiss' after briefly having a coughing fit (poor boy just choked on his own spit). it was definitely not the first time the two of you have shared a kiss, but it was the first time for him to see you ask for it so cutely.

"podo," you repeated. "isn't grape called podo in korean?"

mark's mouth fell in an 'o' after realizing what you have just said. he took off his headphones and asked you again if you were asking for podo, and not a kiss.

you broke into laughter, with mark sheepishly laughing along with you for his mistake. after laughing for a good minute or two, you then took mark's right hand (which was still holding the grape).

"babe, we can get the best of both worlds," you said, still chuckling and smiling in between. mark looked puzzled, wondering what you meant.

"we get to split the grape in two and kiss each other at the same time. like this," you raised mark's hand to your mouth, placing the grape between your teeth and motioning for him to lean forward.

mark chuckled at your idea but leaned in for a kiss and a bite of the grape anyway. needless to say, it was literally the sweetest and juiciest kiss he ever had.

- end.

requests are OPEN! feel free to send me an ask ♡