#its weird for me too dw
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i am writing a fic guys heres some behind the scenes: sneak peak into my google doc :0
as you can see i am a very organized overachiever . ao3 watch out. now i disappear back to my little cave and not post for 3 billion years who cheered. <- dont answer that ily
#and i am officially coming out as having the same name as the queen of england#its weird for me too dw#but the fic? i mean. i see the vision but its a trope ppl have prob used millions of times before i wouldnt be surprised#no timeline could contain my sheer brilliance however! and this will never reach you#is that for the better#hmmmmmmmmmmm
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i saw a post saying boom was good bc it feels like it could be done with any doctor/companion duo and honestly that was one of the things i felt was wrong with it
#in a show with a title character that could be Literally Anyone and a companion sharing the lead that could be Literally Anyone#i value the little moments that set this duo apart from the rest. ESPECIALLY when it comes to returning writers like rtd/moff#fifteen and ruby felt a little too eleven/twelve and clara adjacent in boom. in both their dialogue and characterization#space babies also landed a little weird at first bc it lifted a bit from end of the world BUT the scenes that fifteen and ruby#had to themselves. like ruby getting covered in snot and fifteen laughing. or fifteen and ruby looking after the Space Babies#or fifteen going out of his way to save the monster bc that monster is the only one of its kind Just Like Him Fr#that stuff is so good and its also something we haven't seen from another nuwho doctor. the vulnerable bleeding-heart empathy#and a dynamic w a companion that is basically 'two troublemakers that just deeply love fun and adventure and getting into trouble together'#oh yeah and also the devil's chord was peak fiction because it touches on fifteen's renewed connection and love for humanity#and marries it to ruby being a musician and how music like any art is the expression of the human soul etc etc#WHAT MAKES A DOCTOR WHO STORY GOOD TO ME IS PARTLY HOW THE PREMISE TIES INTO THE DOCTOR AND COMPANION'S CHARACTERS#IT HAS TO FEEL LIKE IT WAS TAILOR MADE TO THEM. ELSE IT WONT LAND RIGHT TO ME#i hate the take that they should've saved wild blue yonder for a fifteen episode bc#the tension is hinged on how well the doctor/companion know each other. u have a level of it that u can ONLY get#with fourteen and donna who are two halves of a whole soul but have also spent much more time missing the other than knowing them#im not rewatching fifteen's eps rn until a week later when i can watch it w my qpp but#rn i still feel a stronger sense of fifteen and ruby's characters from all the rtd-written eps rather moffat#which like. i get that a lot of that is my personal dislike of moffat's writing style but still#dr who#15 era#dw spoilers
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somebody please explain to me, not what, but HOW a lesboy or gaybian or turigirl or whatever you wanna say is. because the only thing i can think of is a trans man/woman who still has a deep connection with their agab, at least in terms of sexuality, which i can understand as a tmasc lesbian. but i genuinely do not understand how a fully cis man can call himself a lesbian.
#this is not a hate post or anything#please god dont take it that way#i am just genuinely confused#because like#im just imagining the one i think drake lyric where its like#she said shes a lesbian i said dw girl me too#cus its like#silly drake! no tf ur not!#and now suddenly he could be 100% serious#idk man im confused#queer#queer tumblr#weird queer#mogai#lesboy#turigirl#gaybian#mspec lesbian#i also feel like i see more lesbian men than i do gay women and that is kind of weirding me out...#but thats probably what trauma does to a motherfcker
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days 3, 4, and 5 of inktowbew!
i couldnt think of anything for day 3 so i mixed it with day 4 and drafted bixby o7
#styx says#my art#homestar runner#oh its so scary actually posting in the tags. hi#champeen#homestar#homestarmy#strong sad#ocs#bixby#inktowbew#hsr#h*r#ok tag commentary time#had a bad day today so i gave up on teaching myself ibis and went back to mspaint :'] hence the weird quality difference#um also. thats bixby theyre my self insert 4 self/ship w ss and its also on art fight !#also also. i use exclusively she/her for ss bc i have Problems /lh dw abt it ok <3#i have the other days done too just gonna. queue em for like in 6 hours when im asleep so the horrors dont get me
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who in the torchwood team would hate nardole the most.
#torchwood#doctor who#nardole#dr who#dw#cannot figure it out#the one (1) thing im sure of is this: andy and nardole would get along SO well. they would LOVE each other. they meet like‚ ONE time in the#presence of at least one torchwood team member & like INSTANTLY hit it off in the background while whoever it is investigates smth and when#theyre done they come back to find nardole nd andy having a very quietly intense discussion abt smth extremely mundane & the team member#is like that photo of ben affleck with a cigarette. & then gwen finds out later that nardole and andy meet up every week to play mah-jong#also nardole would NOT fuck andy theyre just friends. and both of them get defensive if anyone ever suggests it.#in particular nardoles response is: (in a high and mighty tone of voice) 'actually. i dont sleep with cops thank you.' andys like 'whats#that supposed to mean' (a little offended) and nardoles like 'no a-dog its just a bit too messy for me‚ what with the legal system and all.#i dont do lawyers either. beyond clingy you know how it is' and andys like 'yea you know what thats reasonable i guess'#ari opinion hour#also andy DOES NOT KNOW THIS but thats the only thing preventing nardole from trying to fuck him like a bird doing one of those#weird ass mating displays. thank god for this also because it means we are all spared from whatever That would be (which‚ awkward‚ mostly)#ALSO YES NARDOLE WOULD HAVE A NICKNAME FOR ANDY BY THE END OF THAT FIRST CONVERSATION. IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY.
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unsure what my spiders' recent obsession with not having water is but im starting to get worried about them
#its becasuse its both of them and not just 1.. hm#im going out of town for a few days and theyll be home alone.. dw they will be ok#i get up to see them everyday ofc but they have big meals. i dont feed em too often really... same goes for my other guys#and like theyre meant to keep in water so theyll be ok but. molly wont get her fat ass out the bowl#and holly DUMPED ???????STCKS AND LEAVES AND DIRT IN HERS ??#ans shes been hiding in the leaves next to it so i cant clean it cos i dont wish to frighten her#holly hasnt had oit in a week prolly and molly uh a few days#hopeful;y b4 tomorrow they MOVE and i can give em oit b4 i leave but auh#i love them but they stress me out sometimes#its not really their fault tho i just worry way too much about them#im sure the ocd plays into it somewhat? idk it makes me get up one million times in the night to double check that the lid is closed#i get weird about them cos....... theyre my baby girls :((#hollowspeak
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you get a lot of weird anons what's your favorite ice cream flavor?
ohh i havent had ice cream in forever.. probably chocolate im a basic bitch
#anon#asks#also dw about that :3#people comment sometimes on how i get weird asks but trust me i only publish ones im comfortable with answering!#or if im not comfortable if theres like. a point to be made etc. ^_^#i get a lot of sweet ones i dont answer because i dont want to spam my blog with them too!! so its alright haha
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btw i just wanna say if ur a long term follower but we're not mutuals it 100% isnt a personal thing, i do love and cherish you just as much and have probably checked out your blog multiple times and we just. didnt have enough overlapping interests for me not to have to filter the tags for basically everything you post about to keep my dash from being 99% things i scroll past jsbfjsbfkdb
#I've never rlly engaged with the idea of mutuals the same as other people i don't think#like i think to most people its the social media version of like. best friends? which is also a concept I've never engaged with#normally so. lol#but yeah i check out new followers and ppl who show up in my notes a lot and if im like hm i dont like this person#then i just block them#so if i didnt follow you back it isnt that i didnt like you i just. already follow i think like 700 blogs JEBFKSBFKSBFKDN#actually i should go clean those out again its been a while since the last time#origibberish#esp the ppl i feel like might have post notifs turned on for me#some of u like new posts too quickly too often to just happen to be refreshing your dash at the right time 🤔🔎#jahfkwhfjdb thats /lh dw and i hope doesnt make anyone self conscious#i always have a thing where in like 'oh i cant like this post it was made less than a minute ago thatd be weird'#and then theres me getting likes right after posting a thing going !!!!😃👉 FRIEND#its rambling hours again ig lads JEBFKSBFMDN
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pro tip: if you're going to stay up until 1:40 AM don't start thinking about some of the lowest points in your life <3
#eugh feel kinda nauseous but its fine#i am going to take melatonin#and i am going to get out of that headspace#like guys dw nothing happened#im just thinking about when things did happen and its putting me back in that weird spot and ah fuck#nobody says stuff#venting ig#uhhhh idk my brain is too fried to think about it
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Do you think Niko's hair is greasy (because teenage boy) or all fluffy and frizzy (because he doesn't take care of it)
Fluffy and frizzy. He def washes it often...enough. Not as often as his forehead though.
#im black so i dont really know too much about how like straight hair/non curly hair gets greasy so damn quickly#but yeah thats what i think#dw no one needs to explain to me in comments its just a weird phenomon to me that i forget about sometimes lmao#blue lock#asks#bllk niko#bluelock#niko ikki#<333333 niko my beloved
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dw about it i just have a lot of evil bird dreams. last night i had one where there was a giant raven in my backyard and i punched it in the face and ripped its neck open but that summoned a bunch more that attacked me. i always wanted to start the second chapter of this fic by giving sasha fucked up bird dreams but this one was helpful. or maybe not bc its so different from my normal ones
Every time i try to answer this ask i cant see any of the text. Even now what im writing j cant see it it doesbt show up its black on a black bacground. Not even tumblr wants me to listen to you about your messed up bird dream. Apparently
#i get the weird dreams tho. mine usually arent birds its train stations#i had a hunger games eske one recently takibg place in the sky above a train station/city centre that turned into me tryibg to run away from#being killed i think by some other person in the hunger games like event#the arena was built like minecraft tho it was just like floating hanging off sone mountain way further than it should have#i just remembered talkinh about that dream was how i was gonna answer the other ask so pretend i answered that one too dw#really curious how this is gonna post kegit cant see anything#dw bro u can tell me about ur weird bird dreams whenever i need to remember to talk to ppl#Tree Man Posts#other peoples asks
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About half the reblogs are about 73 yards and I'm sorry to break it to you but I don't really like 73 yards that much..
No hate to the episode I thought it was cool as an idea but wasn't really well done in my opinion
Firm believer that doctor who should get fucked up and unnerving on the regular
#absolutely not calling it bad. it has some killer moments and i absolutely loved the entire welsh pub segment#but as a whole although unnerving it kinda fell flat#it felt vague for the sake of being vague and not for any actual reason#i dont mind being left in the dark as too what truly happened but giving literally ZERO idea of what the fuck that was kinda sucked#like the doctor just going “idk fukin fairy circle” was a really lame ass ending#i liked ruby taking initiative and really showing off what she can do tho#ngl i know the whole jab in the pub was that everyone thinks wales is all witchy but i kinda wish it was actually some curse#idk i thought that would be sick#also the whole 73 yards thing relating to the tardis' perception filter was weird. like was it the tardis or was it not the fuckin tardis???#okay midway through writing this it clicked the plot is likely the tardis activating some emergency paradox thing and looping ruby#i think atleast? but then what about the fairy circle? where the fuck did the doctor go????#again i like a confusing story and i love the horror of the unknown but when im never given ANY answer at all in the end i feel annoyed#idk fucked with the vibe and set up but the plot lost me#if you think its amazing all the power too you because it is a pretty sick concept#but when i talk about getting weird and fucked up i mean 73 yards but borderline straight up horror film#also about that whole thing of people being scared of ruby what the fuck???#i originally thought it was going to relate to the one who waits but it never pays off at all???#theres so many ideas happening that i just feel dont blend well and it makes me confused and nauseous#maybe im just stupid but that's my feelings on it#sorry for ranting so long. again ZERO hate to this episode i just wish it was more coherent in its themes and storytelling#doctor who#dw
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YURI BLAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#I'm trying to use this blog as a multifandom blog just to see#if I like doing it#(i did it once before and i didnt like it but i think that was a different time)#also I might change some things about “dni RPF” idk yet though. its a really nuanced thing for me as a system but#I'll just say my stance is the same I just might express and be more open about it than before? with introjection and posting art and stuff#I just like characters/personas acted by people pretty much#and then sometimes I have OCs or ideas based on those persona dynamics#but that tends to overlap with fans who like the people (FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE /gen) I have a mixed history with anti-rpf and pro-rpf ppl#anyways I don't care for discourse so I probably worry way too much about it. its just an anxiety trauma response thing tbh so#im hoping i chill out and get over that obstacle with time as i become more comfortable#basically if youre an anti rpf adjacent/aligned friend of mine dw#but if youre reaaally easily weirded out by blurred lines with rpf/oc (and somehow haven't been instinctively scared away by my art already#then your peaceful content warnings will come to pass Now or soon again#aka you can unfollow at any time if you don't dig the direction my expression and personal tastes r going (FAIR#im a very convoluted person/artist 🥳
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didn't even get to do my ironing :-(
#tw self harm#i was looking forward to it.. i usually find it calming n a nice way to end a weekend#but kept having thoughts abt intentionally burning myself or hitting myself with the iron so im leaving it for another day#its fine if my clothes are a bit crumpled at work anyway. i think i have some extra stuff i ironed i didnt wear last week too#im safe btw its fine ive been using ice + gentle pressure on my skin to take the edge off (i keep my nails too short to scratch dw)#if i did have to cut it wouldnt be ideal but its a neutral act i try not to judge it. but ik its less safe + i dont want it to become#a habit again bc i already let myself do it last weekend and im still a bit frustrated abt it bc id been managing so well#and it was the first time since january. and before then i hadnt since august which is a really big deal for me!#bc last year + year before i was really struggling with reliance on it. i had months where i was doing it daily or every other day#and its hardest to stop when its habitual. once on occasion is much more manageable so lets keep it that way#one day itll be the last time i ever do it and ill be clean the rest of my life but i dont think im near that yet#it feels kind of uncomfortable to type this out but i want to stop keeping my thoughts on s/h in my head bc i get weird abt it#and the last thing i need right now is to get weird abt harming urges again. and i dont think my friends are safe to talk to abt it#so talking on here is the closest thing i have to being open abt it. im tired of it being so stigmatised#ultimately its just a coping mechanism. even if it can be unsafe but like drinking or smoking or whatever to feel better is no safer so#but still i dont want to encourage it. anyway#at least ive calmed down a bit now. and i finished some admin i was putting off earlier#and now i need to sleep bc work tomorrow. just glad the weekend is over its so much easier to cope on work days#just the structure and distraction of it innit. we'll get through this week#and im back on the more stable dose again for meds this week as well so hopefully thatll help#and i think my periods due which has probably been tipping these mood swings over into intolerable#so hopefully thatll start tomorrow or tues and the hormonal shit will recede 🙏#all good. okay im gonna meditate a little and then sleep goodnight 😴#.diaries
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Unspecified issue that im going to blame on my pika hospital rating time in a non linear order 4/10
I had to go to the ER twice since they didn't believe me the first time
Despite being afab between 4 women nurses and 1 male nurse the guy was the only one who came back like 4 times to my room to make sure I got an ultrasound and the
women kept trying to brush me off and say it was just period cramps [i am not on my period fuck you], etc thank hell for that guy. He also drove my hospital bed [since I could not fucking move more than like 2 feet] like a damn racecar and took some really smooth corners and that was very fun. Actually the way he handled it makes me think the [3/4] girls that treated me had like an ongoing rumor about shitty care or something
Another girl failed at putting in my IV twice and brought over "the IV guy" who was about to go on lunch break and they literally had to ultrasound my veins to find a good spot i sincerly apologized like 5 times for "having the shittiest veins in the west"
I had to lie multiple times and say my pain was a 9 in order to get pain meds. Yes I did want to cry but that's like a 7.5 I was not dying and whoever decided a 10 was crying obviously never has had chronic ankle and knee pain [or any chronic pain but y'know. Those are my chronics]. Despite sending me home for period cramps the first time in the ER I said my pain was at a 7.5 and they didn't give me Jack shit [they had to bump up the pain medication they gave me to be stronger so I don't think it woulda worked anyway, just maybe delay how long it took for me to beg to be taken back to the ER]
I was supposed to see the Garfield movie and had to have minor surgery like 3 hours before so womp womp [I am able to refund the tickets and am determined to see it in theaters]
I GOT ICE CUBES?? THEY GIVE YOU ICE CUBES?? brings it up from a 4/10 to a 6/10 honestly bitches love ice cubes
My assigned nurse read fanfiction and I told her about that one 400 chapter batim fanfic and she reaffirmed the name of it like 3 times shes definitely into that shit Good luck gal. I also said "i read this Hermitcraft fanfic-" and she immediately went "HERMITCRAFT??? Oh we are not on the same sides of ao3" and I'm still very unsure of what I implied or what she implied by that so I just transitioned into telling her about my sonic death fanfic from 2019
In the waiting room the second time I went they were playing a horror movie that used a theremin [that one famous no hand instrument] and the movie played the same 4 note creepy audio clip like 7 times in 30 seconds with no dialogue in between each time. What was. What was that excuse me?? Also it was like 11 pm at this point
So yippee me irrational [?] fear of my useless organ I forgot the name of exploding being the thing to have a risk of permanently fucking me over was Not the thing to bring me to the hospital. Here's doodles from my hospital visit taken in approximately shitty lighting that I mind my damn best to save with filters
Also you made it this far read the alt tags
#it was not in fact caused by pika but i do have pika so fuck you you do not need to know why i was in the hospital#the trip both fully solidified why i fucking hate hospitals and why hospitals are usually the best option#like i think i would have had pernament damage/bled out/had an ambulance called if i didnt insist on going back to the ER within an hour#and my nana insisted on going with me to be a karen since shes had cancer like 3 times so i actually got treated this that time yippee#fuck you to the two girls that saw me the first time i went to the er [where i had to wait 2 fucking hours] and thought i was just absolute#-ly fucking insane and bonkers or some shit. they used medical terms to call me a liar to my face. second time i went the wait was only lik#15-30 minutes at the most?? even if i had to stay overnight thats fuckin better than 3 hours#i also took the uh anti anxiety shit they offer before a surgery so i do not remember anything unfortunately or else i would have rated tha#the post surgery girl did listen to me when i said crackers were too salty and got me jello in my preferred color though!!#talk talks#also the read more is weird because ✨ clickbait in the middle of a run on sentence ✨#also i turned reblogs off so my friends that reblog my items. please just leave me an ask in my inbox i do not want my hospital experience#going all over tumblr i want it to stay on My Account#forgot to mention i specifically mean the like 3 people that reblog with a matching rant in the tags. ill know its about this post dw
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Can't teach an old dog new tricks. Odele in particular is quite stuck in his ways, but at least he still manages to keep it somewhat unique each time.
#'ill kill you -> ill kill myself' pipeline real as ever#odele yet again proves to not be bluffing!#dw about the wonky anatomy w/ that hand. its finneeeeee#took me agessss to figure out how to shade this lol#odele oc#i think thats his tag? idk i never remember#tryin to move towards making him look more like a fox... be it one with a rlly weird pelt pattern#love this guy sooo much you dont even knowww....#got back home from a long ass rp sesh today and right away sat down to draw this scene#nooo odele dont kill your self you are so sexy ahahah-#(i dont want him to die but uhhhh i have to play my character. and odele does not believe in bluffing)#also he got a new outfit! how cute! (he killed a man for that hat)#alto art#ask to tag#blood#suicide#implied suicide#(god i hope he doesnt actually die i love him too much-)#(and i have so many plans! but! he is! uncooperative even to me! his player!)#firealpaca#oh wow this got way too long lmao okay im going now goodbye-#(ps you might see a queeshmael funnee from me later. if i get the courage to post it-)
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