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its really funny to me how as a robot i actually have really piss poor grades in IT class
#its because it class has nothing to do with ocmputers actually#we are just learning about businesses and economics#its very boring and no one likes it#im not elon musk kin im robotkin#i cant do this#mine#text#otherkin#alterhuman#polykin#robotkin#aikin#computerkin#machinekin
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babys first flight
words: 1.3k
warnings: flying, dad!rafe, mom!reader, breastfeeding, dude briefly being rude about your baby crying
a/n: i guess this could be a prequel to pink unicorn but honestly i just wanted to use the same name for the baby again lol
rafe sighs, rubbing his face with his hand as he looks at the flight board. you can tell from the defeated look on his face as he walks back over to you that your flight is delayed.
“two hours.” he states, sitting down next to you. you sigh just as deeply as your husband, looking at your sleeping daughter in your arms.
“i think i should wake her up. that way she falls asleep on the plane.” you say, running your finger over rosie’s cheek, her skin soft and flushed pink as she naps.
“yeah.” rafe nods. “whatever you think is best.” rafe defaults often to you, letting you guide the way through raising your daughter. he has experience with his two younger sisters, but you grew up in an even bigger family and often helped out with the babies.
you feel bad having to wake rosie up, especially when she’s asleep during her usual naptime. “wake up, babygirl.” you coo, pressing kisses to her cheeks until her eyes open up, lips instantly turning into a pout.
“its okay!” you stretch a smile over your face. “its okay, rosie!” your soft tone stops her tears, but her pout remains. you jiggle her favorite toy in front of her. your daughter is only three months old and still working on her grip, so you manage to entertain her by placing the toy in her hand every time she drops it.
“here, let me take her.” rafe reaches out. “you stretch your legs and take a break.”
you glance at the clock. still an hour and a half until you can get on your plane. its a short flight, from north carolina to the bahamas for a much needed vacation, deciding to spend the entire summer at your second home while rafe has paternity time away from work.
“gonna use the bathroom.” you press a kiss to rafes cheek, then rosies. “be right back.”
you don’t hurry as you walk around the airport, glad that you’re booked in first class and can use the lounge as the bustling sounds of the airport would surely annoy rosie.
you use the bathroom and get a coffee for rafe, deciding to ditch the decaf and get a mocha for yourself. while you know its generally safe to drink coffee while breastfeeding, you still try to stay away from it, but on days like today, you certainly need it.
“here ya go.” you hand the coffee to your husband after making your way back to the waiting area.
“oh god, thank you.” rafe lets out a moan as he tips the cup back, the warm liquid filling his mouth. he bounces rosie gently on his knee to keep her eyes open.
“would we be terrible parents if i turned on something on my phone for her to watch?” you pout, trying hard to keep her away from screens, but sometimes you just need something to distract her.
“we absolutely would not but if it makes you feel better, i’ll use my phone.” rafe pulls it out of his pocket, transferring rosie easily back into your arms. you cradle her in a way that still allows her to look at the phone screen, her eyes glancing between rafes face cooing at her and the dancing fruits and vegetables.
“shes loving this.” rafe laughs when rosie giggles, her plump cheeks stretching. rosie just started laughing last week, and rafe is still the only one who can get it out of her, although she smiles at you constantly since she first developed the muscles.
“now boarding first class.” the announcer calls out, the hour flying by with rosie entertained.
“she just started looking tired too.” rafe says, taking your carry ons in his hands as you place rosie into her sling, deciding to babywear her until you’re all settled in your seats and can put her in the carseat that rafe also manages to carry.
“welcome aboard.” the flight attendant smiles at you, leading you towards your seats. three all in a row. rafe works quickly to get everything set, placing rosies carseat in the middle seat.
“babys first flight!” you coo to her, hoping to keep her awake through boarding so she will hopefully sleep the entire two hour flight.
“here, i got her.” rafe places her in the carseat once its all strapped down, waiting to do up her buckle until the plane actually takes off.
you both talk partially to her and partially to each other to keep her eyes open, even occasionally giving her tummy little tickles to keep her droopy eyes from closing completely.
while the flight attendant does the safety demonstration, you do up rosie’s buckles. she’s asleep before the plane even begins to move, and you’re surprised when she doesn’t even startle during take off. you reach over to hold rafes hand until you’re steady in the air, hating the rising feeling in your stomach.
“doing good baby?” rafe asks, swiping his thumb over the back of your hand.
you take a deep breath. “yeah, yeah.” looking at rosie and your husband helps sooth the little bit of nerves you have about flying.
the flight goes smoothly until halfway to the bahamas, rosie suddenly startles away with a cry.
“ohhh, its okay baby.” you coo to her, able to recognise from her cry alone that she’s simply hungry.
“oh god, will you shut that baby up?” a man behind you groans before you can even undo her buckles to get her out of her seat.
“what did you say about my daughter?” rafe stands up, glaring as you just try to quiet rosie, pulling her into her lap while you search for a blanket to cover yourself with.
“you heard me! i didn’t pay for first class seats to listen to a crying baby!” the man grunts.
“you’re lucky we’re on a plane or-” rafe begins, until you hiss out his name. “stop it, let the flight attendants handle it.”
rafe sees the stress on your face, nodding as he grabs you a thin blanket, draping it over your shoulder while you adjust your shirt to feed rosie, her cries quieting as she latches onto your nipple.
“sir, that is not appropriate behavior for our airline-” the flight attendant begins to lecture the man behind you, clearly a mom herself.
“it’s okay.” you tell rafe as he turns his shoulder to glare at the man. you rub your hand over his cheek just like you would to rosie until he’s calm.
“dudes an asshole.” rafe grunts out, but his tone is softer now, leaning across rosies car seat to press a kiss to your cheek. he pulls the blanket away slightly so he can look down at your daughter, happily nursing.
“she’s so perfect.” he sighs, glad he has such a well behaved baby for her first flight.
you both settle into your seats as rosie finishes, clearly just needing her tummy to be full before going right back to sleep. you decide to keep her in your arms until the plane begins to descend.
“i got her.” rafe pushes your hands away to do up her seat belts. he knows how much of a stress pregnancy and breastfeeding is on you, so he tries to do absolutely everything he can, even naming himself the sole diaper changer.
you hold rafes hand again as the plane descends, letting out a sigh of relief when the wheels make smooth contact with the runway.
--
“this was absolutely worth the pain of the flight.” you smile to rafe, resting your head on his shoulder as rosie lays on the towel in front of you, body completely shaded by a pink umbrella.
you look out onto the ocean, waves lightly lapping against the pale yellow sand.
“couldn’t agree more.” rafe hums, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.
taglist: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @drewstarkeyslut @forstarkey @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog @outerbankspov @drewstarkeyswifehoe @cutielando @kamninaries @buckyswhxre @rafeinterlude @bellbottombaby @deeaardiary @rubixgsworld @wearemadeofstardust0 @leighbronk @starkeysheart @pradabambie @tobesolovelysstuff @alexiskirkland @rafestar @brioffthegrid @juniebugg @magicalyoura @cokepewpsii @mysticallystilinski @luvdella @aerangi @folklorsweet @yourenogoodforme @auryyz @mayhem-72 @thestarlithideout @marvelfanfics1recs @rafesgiirl
#this may be very boring for some of yall#BUT I LOVE DAD!RAFE EVEN WHEN ITS DAD!RAFE LIKE DOING SOMETHING MUNDANE#rafe fluff#rafe cameron fluff#obx fluff#outer banks fluff#rafe fic#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x oc#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x oc#rafe cameron x reader#rafe blurb#rafe drabble#rafe one shot#rafe imagine#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron one shot#rafe cameron imagine#dad!rafe#dad!rafe cameron
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one thing u can count on me for is being normal about Some Guy
process under cut where u can see me losing my mind trying 2 figure out what i was doing in real time! :3
#mine#cats#original#i started colouring this last night and could NOT . get my brain to work#i like knew the vibes but i couldnt translate that into an actual physical colour palette AOAUGH#but i did kind of pop off w this one ngl. anyway#ive been listening to you cant do that podcast very good very funny hockey girls !!#i do need to listen to a boring white man podcast though so i can get . information . and not just who has been the most cunty nhl player#what else happened today. my tamagotchi evolved ! i love them so much#and i completed sm more crochet blanket! maybe i should post pictures of that bc its going to take years off my life i might as well get#sm clout for it
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you know im unable to shut up when i have any opinion on zelda (though i try and have thus far succeeded at not commenting on any other concept from the darn book)- i find most totk ganondorf concept art worse than what we got to insulting even (of those i have seen) ..... this one though
much more the one in the background than the one up front, still at least he has the collar and the weapon we saw in the first trailer of things that never happen in the end (like so much else)
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#it looks like he got actual shoes in the bg one#which i like#also the big flowing robe is jsut cool as fuck#i like old japanese aesthetic but i still dont think it fits at all in totk#like its so clearly done to other him from the gerudo despite wearing their symbol all over#idk it looks so much more unique and memorable#sorry but totk gan normal looks a lil boring though i like the pattern in the robe#and his deeeemon form looks more like they tried to do demise again but not quite#like yeah lets use the design things on the uncool and forgotten and possibly retconned villain#and staple it too the much more known one :)#like yes he looks different from the gerudo still and very much still japanese in this concept#but it .... just kinda looks more unique and interesting to me#like in an either go all the way or leave it kinda way#yes i am biased#i love both demise and gan#anyway- i am still a prisoner of art (cant draw weeeee)#(plus IRL stress with my parents and weather change thus migraine yippiiie)
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What if I made FOP ocs what then. Meet Wolf, the most well meaning Anti-Fairy you will ever meet and Flowers, its violently playful fairy counterpart who had to be banished from Fairyworld for repeatedly almost killing people :3
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#fop oc#fop ocs#art#digital art#fanart#I saw a drawing of Anti-Wanda with tusks and Im in love with that idea so scary teeth be upon ye!#Irep made a comment about how anti-fairies aren't Usually allowed to have godkids which means there are times where they ARE allowed#(I know he was just talking about that one loophole but Im taking it and running with it)#I don have a child design but Wolf is one of the few anti-fairies who is allowed to be a godparent and run around outside anti-fairyworld#Flowers likes playing dangerous games and doesnt feel bad when people get hurt#He gets bored extremely easily and hates following rules#His coat is meant to look like an explosion and the patern on its pants are meant to look like a dust cloud#Its also very uncareful about showing off its bug features in front of kids
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read a fic recently that had an interaction like
sasha: tim get like one social media PLEASE I am BEGGING
tim: I have linkedin?
and I cannot describe the Joy I felt reading that. they get it.
#ramblings with major#the magnus archives#tma#i love tim but he is so offline to me#if he does social media its very lightly#i mean his canon sense of humor is pop culture references like movie quotes and stuff. not memes.#tim's idea of a meme is an image with impact text and an image with impact text Only#danny was the fun online one finding all the weird niche communities and hobbies and whatnot#tim is the boring one#im telling y'all hes the 'straight man' of the archives
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ppl who follow me are tired of me saying this, but if i could address the aa fandom directly... i rly would just ask that people like, stop being mean about dd and soj. like thats all i want.
im not even IN the fandom anymore, so i have no reach. i draw fanart and make my little ship posts but thats all. and thats bc the wider fandom ... is so fucking mean sometimes. omg. like its just not fun!!
but really, specifically, its about the dd and soj thing. the "play ace attorney we have so many games and [MOST OF THEM] are good!" thing. like, its fine if you dont LIKE dd and soj, obviously!! im not saying you HAVE to!
but "i dont like these games" and "these games are objectively bad and no one likes them" are entirely different statements.
plenty of people like dd and soj, even have them as their favorite games. i know this bc my soj fanart gets notes 😭 i have ppl in my tags excited and happy when i draw dhurke and datz. bc we like these characters!! and like to think about them and the story they come from!
...just bc YOU dont like soj, doesnt mean a lot of ppl dont like soj! so i really dont understand the drive to constantly talk down and insult these games?! like ... why be negative. u could be nicer. its possible and easy and then doesnt drive ppl away from the fandom bc their favorite games are being trashtalked all the time.
a lot of ppl find the space family dd interesting! they LIKE the phantom and his concept as a character! they LIKE soj and all of the political settings! it doesnt rly matter that they are, by and large, A Little Flop, bc people still LIKE them and like making content for them and thinking abt them and playing in the space and...!! like. why hate that? why constantly put us down for enjoying smth you didnt?
just dont need to constantly make slights at how "bad" and supposedly unenjoyable dd and soj are. cus not only is it mean, and makes the fandom hostile, but its literally untrue. i dont even consider myself in the fandom anymore bc all the fun is taken out of it when i have to brace myself for shitty comments like this whenever i read a post abt the series!
and i rly wish i could just Not Care what other ppl say. a lot of my friends dont care. but soj is like.....ive spent the past 5 years loving that stupid ass mediocre game. like its deeply important to me. and i just feel like a lot of ppl would have some fun with it if they werent constantly told how bad and skippable it is. im sure dd fans feel the same way.
its very cliquey. its very "the popular opinion is correct and if you dont agree, you dont get to play with us". it just sucksssss
#ace attorney#spirit of justice#dual destinies#like again im sure this will flop too#but if i can at least convince One Person to be a little nicer abt these games#OR JUST. NEUTRAL? LIKE JUST DONT BE MEAN THTS ALL I ASK#then ill be happy#its all crazy cus to me ace attorney is a very unserious mediocre series#the first game is tight but even then most ppl hate 1-3 or 1-5 and think theyre boring#so idk why dd and soj are the black sheep when their crimes are NOT unique to their games lol#just uplift the entire series! its easy!#Idk or maybe im the crazy one.#i wouldnt rly know how the wider fandom is cus again im not IN it cus you guys are mean af sometimes!!!!#i sit in my little bubble of ppl who appreciate datz are'bal Amen!
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there's something i find particularly annoying in this fandom and it's the way purebloods are written as highly sophisticated extremely rich and straight up a rip off of regency period novels
i understand the choice of this specific portrayal, i can see it as an approximation to historical drama, where the social restrictions are compelling and are relevant to the story, and a good writer can make any concept believable and good
HOWEVER as much as the worldbuilding on wizarding costumes (and a lot of other things) is extremely inconsistent and gets progressively worse towards the later three books, the implications that i see don't point towards this version of a sophisticated performatic elite who interacts only with itself
while i tend to see the blood status in the harry potter universe as a distinction of class and not at all a distinction of race, i don't think the difference is, in practice, as marked as it is in real world contexts, mostly because of how numerically small and insulated the wizarding community is
this post is part of my personal vendetta against purebloods as charming aristocrats & what appears to be the necessity of writing each and all of them as so very well spoken and politically savvy and never-caught-dead-speaking-to-a-half-blood
for once, the sacred twenty-eight is extra canon information and is disputed IN UNIVERSE, because it was anonymously published and received backlash for the inclusion (weasley, ollivander) and exclusion (crabbe, goyle, potter) of certain names
the malfoys are the only extremely rich family we see in canon. extra canon information tells us they made money before the statute of secrecy by trading with muggles
compare that to the potters who are also very rich (there's no scale to tell us who is the richer family), but made most of their money from the invention of sleakezy in the 20th century
the blacks are also implied to be wealthy: sirius manages to live off his inheritance after buying harry an expensive broom, and he says his grandfather likely paid for an order of merlin
there's a lot to be said about the blacks (e.g. they should have at least a couple more properties other than grimmauld place), but the big picture and the similarity with the gaunts (not about the incest, stop fixating on that) suggest they were a family in decadence by the time sirius was growing up
i believe that the implication is that neither of them had a proper job, which creates a similarity with gentry, but gentry lived off rentals and while it is possible they had a country state i don't think grimmauld place was making a lot of money
lucius malfoy also didn't work and spent a portion of his time being a school counselor (and obviously not being paid for it, as it was a way to exercise his political power over the main learning institution in his community)
it's also extra canon that the nott family had equal footing with the malfoys, so we can assume that crabbe, goyle, parkinson and bulstrode were slightly beneath them, either in social standing or money, despite the later two being part of the sacred twenty-eight (or it could appear to be so because pansy and milicent are girls)
the weasleys are obviously the main example of a poor sacred twenty-eight family, as were the gaunts
the crouch family was most like rich (they could afford a house elf), but it's likely that most of that money came from mr. crouch having a high level ministry job. his family and connections were probably an advantage to getting the job, but it's possible he wouldn't be able to maintain the lifestyle without work
longbottom, prewett and macmillan are families that appear to be very traditional, but not remarkably wealthy
other working members of the sacred twenty-eight are: horace slughorn (school teacher, but it can be argued that teaching hogwarts is a prestigious position), garrick ollivander (wand maker and shop owner, but, again, the only wand maker, which holds a certain prestige in itself), mr. burke (shop owner), arthur weasley (ministry employee), frank longbottom and kingsley shacklebolt (both aurors). amycus and alecto carrow are also temporary hogwarts teachers
the blacks married out of the sacred twenty-eight many times (max, gamp, crabbe, potter)
all of these people and every single muggleborn goes to the same school, buys magical supplies at the same place, drinks from the same pubs, etc. that alone should serve as evidence that there aren't many exclusive pureblood hangouts around
the only place that seems to attract the malfoys (arguably the richest and most important pureblood family in the 90s) and not most other people, is the knockturn alley, which is hardly a high brow sophisticated spot
except for malfoy and flint, no slytherin quidditch player during the 90s is in the sacred twenty-eight, so that's hardly a criterion for making it into the team
mulciber is not a sacred twenty-eight name, they could very well be half-bloods
tom riddle and severus snape were half-blood students who formed ties with purebloods while in school and held blood supremacist views, assimilation to a certain level was possible
#my other personal vendetta is that it all comes down to demographics but no one wants to hear me talking about that#trying to come up eith background slytherin characters from the 70s took me places i wouldn't go with a gun#and my very petty complain is can we please stop with the galas? when can we stop with the galas?#and assuming they care about culture like at all my rant on wizards and art is probably bigger than this one#hp meta#pureblood society#pureblood culture#the noble and most ancient house of black#the sacred twenty-eight#sacred 28#a worldbuilding nightmare#this is my most annoying post up to date and its a Hard contest#also just find reading about this stuff soooo boring but i find myself trying to justify not wanting to write like this
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i am asleep much in the way that Wally is asleep. that is to say, I Am Not Sleeping
#gave it my best shot for a minute there#really made an effort. its Not Working#see this is what happens when your sleep schedule is Fucked and you usually go to bed when the sun comes up#on a normal night id be jammin to tunes. scribbling with reckless abandon#tonight however i am at Someone Elses place so i need to be Quiet#i need to Sleep i am Driving tomorrow#brain wont cooperate tho. brains a bitch. id like to be unconchus#OH SHIT OH!!! I DO HAVE A JOKE I CAN MAKE BARNABY USE!!!#I HAVE A COUPLE OF OCEAN BASED ONES! FUCK!#sorry train of thought took a detour#im tired. today was mostly very good. had lots of Fun <3#experienced something new! several somethings!!#and now im lamenting my wide-awakeness in a dark room#my hunting gathering badass self is Bored as Hell#and so: wally scribble of him sharing my woes#scribble salad#not gonna tag it as anything else
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#i tried so hard to find angles where you could even TELL what this thing is#flamigo#i hope these are sufficient. for you flamigo likers. i know there's a lot of you because i used to not like flamigo. i used to be a bit of#flamigo hater. and i had my reasons—it was one of the first Evil Shinies i ever got‚ when i was shiny hunting the dreepy line#but it was mainly just because it. was just a flamingo. to me. and its name was literally just “flamingo” with the N removed#it felt like fuckin. blatant dex padding. i was like. this is just a fucking animal#but then someone pointed out how like. it's a fighting-type… and its body is shaped like a boxing glove#which i didn't even realize at first? but i looked at it and it is and that's. kinda silly#and i like THAT. i still think the name is fuckin boring unless anyone knows that it actually came from some#super intricate source but if it did then they didn't communicate that very well
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the geoff retcon is just so poorly done in so many ways. when i think abt it i just rly do have to roll my eyes because it wouldn't even be that hard to be like "actually, paul westfield was duped by agenda under orders from the contessa" and have that as the explanation for the introduction of luthor dna instead of paul westfield's, if you MUST include it. like that way it doesn't blatantly contradict the entire luthor plotline with mae in reign of the supermen, and it could've been a reveal to luthor himself, too. that couldve been fascinating ESPECIALLY in the context of lex having baby lena in that era, until the y2k event.
but fuckign. why do that when we can directly contradict kon's entire origin story which explicitly states he escaped before they were able to put control codes in his head. and when we can also just completely dismiss the ethics of "they [wanted to] put control codes in his head" in favor of "what if... some genes... make you BAD..." which is just very thinly veiled eugenics that the narrative entertains, for some reason. frankly, imo, lex was far more interesting as a character in every plot other than this, because he became so one-dimensionally evil in a very boring stock "manipulative" way. and we didn't even get a single mention of lena in all of his "my son" bullshit. using the contessa wouldve been such an easy and perfect way to tie it all together!!!! but sure. why do anything like that, right geoff.
#rimi talks#LIKE... retconning the contessa to have had more of a hand in cadmus via the agenda would've been a WAY better retcon if you MUST retcon it#it would have been so much more cohesive. the narrative couldve had something to actually say#tbh the more i toy with this version of events i think thats my preferred interpretation headcanon-wise#kon is a kryptonian clone with a very small amount of human dna#which he originally thought came from westfield but turned out came from luthor bc of a scheme of the contessa's that was never realized#there. boom. done. much more elegantly than whatever the FUCK geoff was doing in tt03.#it just fits!!!! you can bring up lena (lex's daughter) AND lena (lex's sister) and lori from smallville this way#without needing to undermine the whole fact that lex WAS genuinely initially blindsided by cadmus creating a superboy#like he's not some perfect scheming mastermind 24/7. he can be taken aback. it makes it boring to be like oh he knew all along imo#also i just think keeping westfield in kon's history is important. he already had one ''i hate this guy'' dna donor reveal#making it two is actually kinda funny. like oh great instead of this shitty guy its this SHITTIER guy :/#kon
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joel etho single dads au .........
#esp if we go w liml family#etho with scar and bdubs at the park#joel with hermes#their kids meet and become best friends and keep begging for five more minutes until theyre the last ones at the park#so joel and etho inevitably meet and start talking because theyre both hella bored waiting for their kids#and joel lowk kinda cannot stand etho#hes like “igh this guy is sooo pretentious i could sense it from a mile away. who does he think he is with that stupid white hair”#“newsflash it doesnt make you look cool it makes you look old as hell”#(but he doesnt say any of this)#(obviously)#and it works best if etho is totally oblivious#dude is just waiting 2 drop off scar n bdubs back home2 cleo so he can try2 get the Good Nights SleepTM hes been chasing since he was a bab#then they find out their kids go to the same school#and so obviously joel has decided to make it his mission in life to one up everything etho does#at this point etho is fully aware and finds it hilarious#because he is an Expert in these things okay. hes been making brownies for scar's bake sales since before hermes was Born#and joel can try as hard as he can but he just Cannot reach that level.#he can make as many cupcakes as he wants but none of them r gonna beat the gooey deliciousness of ethos chocolate chip triple layer brownie#and that is just soooo infuriating to him. his blood is boilimg at Every Single Parent Led Bake Sale Ever#and its even worse because etho looks like hes about to spontaneously combust at any possible second#his hair is a mess. deepppp eyebags. hes been running on maybe an hour of sleep every night for the past what eight years???#but hes sooo consistently perfect at everything.#joel hates him.#but like they also have to put up with each other at playdates and parties and whatnot because i repeat their kids are Best Friends#aughhh idk theres some potential there. i promise im just not getting it across very well#nya talks#trafficblr#hermitblr#joel smallishbeans
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it is time for The House Spreadsheet
so yeah for those who don't know i have spent like two years making (and constantly mentioning that i am making) a spreadsheet to track several things in the 2004-2012 tv show house md
I'll probably rb with details/graphs but without further ado:
Here it is!!!
some disclaimers:
I may have got things wrong!!!!
PLEASE note above, i am just one person with a poor attention span, i did my best but may have missed instances of something im tracking.
if you do notice something wrong you can let me know (timestamps please) and if i verify i'll update the sheet
please don't take the notes seriously, they were just a stream of conciousness reaction to keep me sane
re: the things wrong point, i definitely got the medical categories wrong so if anyone has better suggestions i am Begging You please come to me
If you make anything with this i'd love to see, so please tag me when you do :)
#house#house md#hate crimes md#this wasn't actually that fun! except the formulas i love formulas#the worst part of this is no matter how miserable it became i still want to do this for like 3 other tv shows#ouat and criminal minds being the ones that immidiately come to mind#criminal minds would be so easy bc a very similar format though i never finished the show#ouat because its so fucking funny#counterpoint: id have to watch ouat again AND i couldn't skip when it gets boring#honestly i don't know what the banner is about i made this post over a year ago#i don't stand by it i think it looks ugly#but let's give her this#im going to reblog this 15 million times maybe
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thinking about kurapika and chrollo and parallels and this circle of horrors where they are the victims AND the tools of their fates.
they both think they are neither or more like they don't care about it at all. they don't see themselves as victims, and they see absolutely no other way to live other than this role they took upon themselves. kurapika had such a strong sense of identity and what he wanted to do with his life and understands himself perfectly at all times. he was a part of his clan, but he was more an individual than anything else. kuroro, on the other hand, never knowing, never thinking what his motives are, deliberately not understanding himself and desperately holding on to the spider. he can't be an individual but with others, he can be the spider.
and for both of them, it all started on vengeance. kurapika abandoned himself in order to become a tool, a weapon, to avenge his clan, and to collect scarlet eyes. he stopped being himself and became his people. kuroro didn't know his family, didn't know where he actually came from, didn't know who he was or what he was supposed to be. so growing up in meteor city, he held on to his people strongly. and in order to avenge and protect his people, he would become a tool, a weapon, he would give himself to them. he started being himself as he became his people.
kuroro could be something for his people. and kurapika could be nothing for his people.
kurapika took on the role of judgement for vengeance. kuroro took on the role of villain for vengeance. kurapika acted his part by diminishing everything he was, and kuroro acted his part by filling up his identity with it.
but one thing stays clear and fixed with them throughout it all. they would do anything for their people. for whomever they consider their people. "he'll put his friends before his mission." a weakness kuroro sees in kurapika so quickly and so easily. but the same thing he considers a strength in himself. "i am not your top priority. it is the spider that must be kept alive." as long as his people are alive, his identity will live on. and as long as kurapika is alive, his people’s identity will live on.
"now you will get to experience the pain of losing your home." kuroro (and the spiders) killing the kurta clan set this parallel in motion for himself as the circle began for kurapika. and (speculatively) kurta clan hurting his people was what set the circle in motion for kuroro, too. now thinking about where they are in the story and how their end could be, it is very clear that they are finally ending up in a place where they mirror each other (as they have from the beginning) and they can recognise it in each other and themselves. kurapika ending up empty after his mission and kuroro ending up empty after losing spiders. both of them purposeless and with no self left outside of it. in a way, this is how the circle ends. "i can hear that he accepted death." they walk with death every day with no fear and full acceptance and after losing the only thing they live for, not even something they hold on to because they don't see a point in being alive outside of the fact that they must keep going for their people, for their purpose, and if not then there's no reason to exist, they are meaningless.
kuroro's vengeance left kurapika all alone, with everyone he knew dead, and feeling hollow at the end. by fate, he ended up all alone, with everyone he knew dead and feeling hollow at the end.
and at that point, they will have to start a new page and build a new self for themselves.
#hunter x hunter#kurokura#kurapika#chrollo lucilfer#hxh#&#when the narrative of characters are so sweetly fucked up and so intertwined that they dont even have to interact for me to go insane#also there are two wolves inside me. one wants them to never leave this fucked up circle and going around feeling lost#and having nasty sex about it bc they are obsessed with each other.#for kurapika its like. 'you're the one caused all of this i will always hate you. but you are the only one who will ever#understand and know me completely like this. i want you to take everything. i want you to give me anything.'#and for kuroro its like. 'i want you to give me purpose. i want you to hate me. i want you to love me. i want to give you everything.#i'll kill for you if you want. i'll die for you if you want. i'll die by your hands if you want. give me anything. give me everything.'#yeah. so#i have a very specific vision for them like the pepe silvia meme. you see my vision or you dont#and the other wolf is just them being kinda mentally stable and living for themselves and building a healthyish relationship#like they come to an understanding and go their own ways but then they keep ending up in the same business and maybe have to work together#and a very slow burn of having to be civil with each other to lovers. or something boring like that#but the sex is still nasty btw#i mean if not. whats all that catholic imagery for
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honestly. its very funny to me that finding out my father did a very bad thing like. 16 years after the fact made me grow to appreciate other takes on Manfred von Karma other than "he's an abusive monster"
me and franziska are shaking hands over here 🤝
#i just find it hilarious because i was one of those OH HES PROBABLY AN ABUSIVE MONSTER people#but now i realize not only is that take boring and bland#its also very unrealistic#as someone with an already complicated relationship with their father#and also finding out something that makes it even MORE complicated#like by 1000x#just listen to me when i say these things are insanely complex and not at all black and white#me 🤝franziska#'still having fond memories of our fathers despite knowing they did a terrible thing'
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leaving this here and running away but i don't actually hate coppola's 92 dracula. as a film, it unironically slaps. however. as an adaptation of the 1897 book 'dracula' by bram stoker, it IS objectively terrible
#if i'm getting out unpopular takes then my other one is i don't see lucy as particularly fashion forward or flowery#in my mind she's someone who's been given expensive dress after dress but she doesn't look after them and they fray and stain#(because she has money! she doesn't look after things!) so she often has a sort of expensive-ish but unkempt look#i just take her 'fashion is a bore' comment at its word idk. she doesn't care for it‚ she's never had to#whereas MINA is the one who thinks hard about what to wear and how she looks. it's how she has to navigate the world#this is very much my Personal (!!!) take this is Not to be inflammatory in the slightest#i just like fandom best when we all have wildly differing takes over all doing the same thing and having the same opinions#which........i do feel like the drac tag......does fall into.........sorry#i think differences keep things healthy#i also have many jonathan opinions but im keeping that to MYSELF i value my life
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