#ouat because its so fucking funny

[callisteios]

it is time for The House Spreadsheet

so yeah for those who don't know i have spent like two years making (and constantly mentioning that i am making) a spreadsheet to track several things in the 2004-2012 tv show house md

I'll probably rb with details/graphs but without further ado:

Here it is!!!

some disclaimers:

I may have got things wrong!!!!

PLEASE note above, i am just one person with a poor attention span, i did my best but may have missed instances of something im tracking.

if you do notice something wrong you can let me know (timestamps please) and if i verify i'll update the sheet

please don't take the notes seriously, they were just a stream of conciousness reaction to keep me sane

re: the things wrong point, i definitely got the medical categories wrong so if anyone has better suggestions i am Begging You please come to me

If you make anything with this i'd love to see, so please tag me when you do :)

[naivesilver]

Your icon doesn't make this sound threatening at all @melon14 I swear asjkdhakjshjfhjfhajkh

Jokes aside, I've already given this AU some basic groundwork in this post, but:

the kids' ages will necessarily vary a lot more than they do in EAH canon to better fit show events - Ramona, Ash and Maddie are among the oldest, and Apple is slightly older than the twins, a fact which she will occasionally lord over Raven;

Apple and Raven having genuine schoolyard drama going on is so funny to me. Like, what are they feuding over? Who Henry loves more as a little sister figure? Their mothers' war? If One Direction was better than Nirvana? Nobody fucking knows, especially not their dads;

(on a more serious note though, Apple has an inner conflict nearly as complicated as her canon self - sure, no one is telling her to follow some fixed destiny guidelines here, but the pressure of having a family filled with heroes and Certified Good PeopleTM might still get to her. Moreover, Emma's jealousy was off the charts when she was born, even though Snow tries to pretend it never happened;)

I'D FORGOTTEN OUAT HAD FRANKENSTEIN WALKING AROUND CAN WE BRANCH OUT INTO MONSTER HIGH TOO????? Because I'd be STOKED to have Francesca "Frankie" Whale show up as a consequence of her dad's actions (also Jekyll and Hyde are there so like...Hyde Serum!Jackson and Holt when);

Sparrow is a mama's boy while Raven is a daddy's girl and it SHOWS;

you know that meme with the lizard and its offspring that goes "children this is dirt" "dirt?" "dirt?" "dirt?"? That's Ruby with her babies on Wolfstime. Mama wolf running through the woods and teaching her pups things while Dorothy has some time to herself;

they're all very protective of Cedar, regardless of any squabble or picked side. Raven, Maddie and Cerise are protective of Cedar, Apple is protective of Cedar, Sparrow is protective of Cedar, even though he usually doesn't give his sister's friends the time of the day. Basically everyone took one (1) glance at this tiny, shy puppet girl and was immediately flooded with love;

that definitely includes the adults in her life, BTW. Of course daddy adores her and grandpa is beyond thrilled, but the moment Dr Archie Jiminy Hopper realizes that this kid is nothing like young Geppetto and Pinocchio and is instead sweet, quiet and capable of staying put when she's asked to? He's sold. He'd have loved her no matter what, but at least Cedar's behavior won't give him a heart attack before he's 50;

I still think that Cedar should have that wood gene show up in the worst possible moment, but it'd probably be an innate trait of hers rather than the result of Blue's active intervention. HOWEVER, what Blue would most definitely do is try to imply that Cedar did something to deserve what's happening to her, which is nearly as bad imho;

not that that would fly with August, honestly. He's barely convinced by the fact that he deserved his various punishments - you mean to tell him that his little girl, who's been deemed extremely pleasant to have around by just about everyone she meets, has somehow committed some sort of sin and is being puppet-ified as a result? Are you shitting him? This is gonna give him the catharsis arc OUAT never bothered to send his way, alright;

finally, there's a ton of characters I still haven't managed to work in, like Farrah, Faybelle or just any other male character, so if anyone has better ideas, let me know please I'm begging you these kids are so complicated adjshjkfhk

[slashingdisneypasta]

I haven't fully finished ouat yet, I'm s6 somewhere so I'm half hoping james comes back though its prob won't happen, I mean getting shoved into the river of souls is pretty definitive

I do really like Charming he's actually perfect however Prince James is such a little bitch and I love it lol

Another scenario I love for him (inspired by him kissing snow) is where you are with David but James keeps trying to steal you away and at times momentarily tricks you into believing he is david. And some type of once upon a time calamity happens and you must choose only one of them to live and David is consoling you like hey don't feel bad the world is probably safer off without his brother and that you're just doing what you have to, and everyone thinks like no doubt your gonna choose for David to live but you don't you choose James and James is like yooo wtf, he's so excited and then pleased with himself and then he's like utterly devoted to you because you freely choose him over his brother when you really didn't have to

I love James so much its not even funny like I fully wanna throw a tantrum that I live in the real world and not the enchanted forest and therefore i cannot marry dear pathetic beloved James I would even settle for being a servant or a prisoner just anything remotely near him 🤣

I'm not gonna spoil it for you XD But I haven't seen season 7 myself (I couldn't do it, it's just the same thing as season 1 again)- but if he makes an appearance there please let me know!! XD

OH MY GOODNESS. THE DRAMA HERE. I love this so much, this would be such a good fucking fic!!

Hahaha XDDD I love your love for him so much!! <3<3<3

[twig---verginix]

This is the first time i've used Ao3's tag searching system. So that's fun!

The word "unsympathetic" yielded a solid 583 results. I got through a third of them. Overwhelmingly, the Sanders Sides fandom dominated the results, with 202 of the tags I checked either denoting some character as some level of unsympathetic or touting a fic with no unsympathetic characters. (There were a number of those! Despite many ficwriters seemingly disapproving of the schema, they still used the language to describe how their fic fit into it.)

(these were some tags that I found kind of funny. for one reason or another.)

But listen that's ALSO not what I needed to be doing. I had those tags sorted by NAME when I could have been sorting them by TIME. You know what the oldest tag to use the term "unsympathetic" in this context was?

fucking. not sanders sides that's what.

That fic was posted in 2012; the first sanders sides-related "unsympathetic" tag was posted to a fic in 2017. There's some hand-wiggling to be done about nuance and definition, I think– there's a difference between writing about that one character just about everybody fucking hated in canon and designating one guy as the one who Says The Mean Things in this story so the other guys can have feelings about it, right? So we keep going.

The next few results are in a language I don't read, about original characters, use the word "unsympathetic" in the wrong way (which is to say, the right, typical way) ...and then there's one about Dean from Supernatural! I know that guy. The tag has been made synonymous with "Dean Winchester Bashing," so I know it's the right context, so let's click through and–

sorry. the what. sorry. guys did you know they made a supernatural anime. did everyone know about this but me. sorry I'm gonna wrap this up but I gotta text my roommate later

anyway. Anyway! I can't find the fic that had the tag "And a little bit unsympathetic to Dean," but not because of the tag merger, because there are other works in that category that still retain their original, synonymous tag. I'm wondering if the (0) next to the tag meant that the work has been deleted? But they still have record of the tag? But REGARDLESS we can trust that it was posted between June and November of 2014 because of the works attached to the tags directly above and below that one.

So that's a little closer to the definition of "unsympathetic" that the sanders sides fandom is working with here. Here's a guy that a lot of people like; in the context of this story, he is not someone who we are meant to sympathize with.

There's also an OUAT fic that published its first chapter 2014 that uses the term in a way that feels closer to me, somehow, despite the character in question being relatively disliked due solely to her canon presence? Something in the phrasing, I think: [milah is not completely unsympathetic,] backtracking two tags later with [Okay maybe Milah is a real bitch,]. The next solid example is in 2017, but it's even better, stating that [Sakura is an unsympathetic character in ***this one***,] (emphasis mine), the author clearly acknowledging that they are choosing to bend Sakura's characterization for the purposes of this story specifically.

So. So far. Conclusion time. I'm pretty confident in saying that, while the Sanders Sides fandom designates characters as "sympathetic" or "unsympathetic" in this context most prolifically, they were NOT the inventors of the term and not the only fandom to use it.

...I don't know where I would look next to find out who did coin the terms. do we think fanlore might have anything. That's for another night. Anyway.

I started thinking about all of this again because it was a slow day at work and I was thinking about a fic I'm not going to write and wondering if there was a way to easily denote on ao3 that your fic involves a pairing in a *bad* way, you know? To both avoid bugging people who are looking for positive depictions of the ship and avoid getting filtered out by people who don't want to see that (but might be interested in the dynamic if the fic didn't portray it as positive). Or something.

I am in no way interested in campaigning to introduce the schema to other fandoms. I think it's a neat quirk, though, and I'm interested in figuring out exactly how it thrived so well in one specific, kind of weird fandom.

A little while back, my youngest sibling got really into sanders sides and I, delighted by the SEL lessons for middle schoolers and not immune to the simplicity of color-coded boyshipping, even if those boys were the same 30-year-old man different outfits, followed. They're the only fandom to this day that I've seen use the terms "sympathetic" and "unsympathetic" attached to characters in ficwriting: ie, something about "unsympathetic roman" would be a story where the red one made the blue one cry, whereas a fic tagged with "sympathetic remus" would be about the personification of intrusive thoughts being a really fun guy once you got to know him, actually. Nice if you want to avoid any content of the purple one being mean to any of his buddies... but like. A little weird, right? a little rigid, almost encouraging of hyperbolic characterizations in fanon.

It would be easy to pin it all on 1) a young fandom with 2) very few characters that 3) people felt strongly about, one way or another, and wave it off as a weird quirk of that one youtuber's fandom that disliked nuance in their fanworks so strongly that they developed a tagging system to avoid any moral confusion... if i could confirm that it was just the sanders sides fandom doing it?

Tumblr search is weird and largely unhelpful, but the top results when I start typing are mostly sanders sides.

(Tried to figure out if that was due in part to fandom size– 40k people are following the tag. Is that big? I don't know what counts as big.)

So off we go to Ao3.

Much of the same when typing under "other tags to include," with the exception of Dream, Except It's The Real Dude. To be expected. moving on.

This looks a little different! The thing is, though, based on views, Sanders Sides hit its peak back in 2017. I made a shitty graph in Canva. That huge dropoff at the end starts on episode 37 of this official playlist– that was in 2019. So those two other dudes who hung out on the dsmp (which started in 2020!) could NOT have predated themWAIT I don't know how ao3 works this isn't where i should be looking.

Ignore all of that. I have another chart to make.

[swanqueensalad]

regina mills + text post meme part 13

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

top 5 ouat moments? i've only seen a few eps but everything i've heard about the show is wild so i'm curious

jesus christ let's go

first and foremost I would be absolutely refuckingmiss if I didn't talk about Emma and stupid fucking eyeliner Captain Hook absolutely sucking face in the goddamn cursed jungles of Neverland while an absolutely demonic Peter Pan was skittering around abducting children. absolutely insane payoff to that sexual tension. this woman's annoying 12 (???) year old has been abducted by his own shit-eating immortal great-grandfather and she has this absolute mess of a wet one-handed man dragging himself after her in 700 pounds of leather rambling about how he's in love with her because they have the same abandonment issues... and he was right. she truly said fuck it I will climb this particular leather-bound tree don't mind if I do. this might as well happen. most desperate make out ever aired on a network that doesn't allow kissing with tongue. goth kings do not despair there is a jock gf out there for you and if you go on enough stupid little adventures together she WILL want to peg you.

do you guys remember when Belle went off on an adventure by herself for a episode and she had the absolute KICKIEST little leather booty shorts outfit you ever did see? god. a fashion icon. and then she met this flamboyant CGI Lumiere which absolutely no goddamn sense because he wasn't even, like, IN the Beast's castle because the Beast was just Rumplestiltskin and he had a completely different deal but OUAT was only kept alive through the goodwill of terminally unhinged Disney adults so they had to pepper in little movie references no matter how misplaced and inexplicable they were? okay good now that we've layed the groundwork for that one let's talk about this:

when Elsa and the cast of Frozen showed up as major supporting characters for an entire arc in goddamn live action LESS THAN A YEAR after the movie came out. hello??? HELLO??? unhinged. also very funny how the show played exactly as fast and loose with Frozen as they did with all the older Disney fare up to and including introducing Elsa's Evil Ice Aunt Who No One Ever Mentioned Even Though She Has The Same Goddamn Powers Don't Worry About It.

okay sorry I've sat on this long enough but we simply MUST discuss that a not insignificant chunk of Rumpelstiltskin's backstory is that his wife left him for Captain Hook. and then however many decades later (like every fairy tale character in this show was 500 years old because of *magic* and no one talked about it) Captain Hook came back and. god you guys are not going to believe this. he came back, still the exact same age, and he cucked Rumplestiltskin's son (WHOMST HE ALSO MET AS A CHILD) with tremendous success. please see point #1 again. if you need a reminder. this is so funny and I will genuinely never get over it. this show is nothing but convoluted connections between public domain characters but that is by FAR the most insane. Henry better watch his fucking back when he grows up because this patrilineal is evidently cursed with Getting Cucked By Captain Hook Disease. "Makenzie that's crazy what are the odds it would happen a third time" WHAT ARE THE ODDS IT WOULD HAPPEN TWICE. of all the women you could have fallen gobsmackingly stupid in love with. it was your stepson's baby mama. idiot.

the final season finally coughing up some canon gay rep in its death throes but instead of getting a really popular existing ship like Mulan/Sleeping Beauty together or canonizing a beloved Disney character common headcanoned as queer like the aforementioned Elsa they decided to get Little Red Riding Hood together with never-before-seen Dorothy Wizardofoz in a 5 second scene that was disrespectful to Mulan, Aurora, the audience, and Dorothy's book gf Ozma.

and I'm like barely even scratching the surface here. OUAT is insane. a pre-MCU-fame Sebastian Stan is there for a few episodes. Star Wars is canon. there's an alternate universe based on classic horror instead of fairy tales and everything is black and white there. Christian Gray is a pretty significant character in season 1. Rapunzel showed up like three different times and was a a completely different character each time. Maleficent and Zorro had sex. Emma Stone wishes her Cruella had a SLIVER of what Victoria Smurfit was bringing to the role.

[lizacstuff]

Liza that 3rd fragman 👀 "if I was born a 100 times I'd fall in love with you everytime" Eda saying this is their last obstacle and nothing can separate them, serkan's "I'll be right back, close your eyes I'm here" If this isn't all a red flag for shits about to hit the fan then I don't know what is LOL (but also how cute to Edser look and them telling each other they love each other very much 😭😭😭)

That fragman is both the SWEETEST and the MOST OMINOUS thing I’ve ever seen. ALL AT ONCE.  

Friends... we’re gonna go through some things.  That being said, everything is going to be great. These writers have been solid so far, and I have faith they have come up with something really interesting to increase the longevity of this show. And I don’t know about you, but I’m prepared to go through some things if it means keeping Eda and Serkan for longer.  (I heart them)

This show is about Eda and Serkan and their love story, at it’s core it’s a comedy, it will all lead to happy things, but... yeah, buckle up! 

I have a lot of asks both about the fragman and last ep, so I’m going to answer a bunch under the cut. 

Anonymous said: The fandom theories about episode 28 have gotten so wild that I literally think the most shocking thing would be if they actually got married and were not separated (emotionally or physically). What if the earlier painful episodes were to make us believe that things couldn't possibly go right in 28 and it's a reverse psychology trick?

You could be right!  I like your thinking. I checked on twitter and I had to back away slowly. The juvenile temper tantrums were too much for me today.  

Look, I think it’s clear something big is coming. It has to, there has to be something that shakes up the show. Some of the theories are more upsetting and catastrophic than others, but the writers won’t do anything that dings either character or their love for one another.  Whatever happens will showcase the connection between these two and the chemistry between the actors, that’s the point of everything, and anything that does those things is gonna be a-okay with me. 

@jan31​ Hi Liza. Do you think we are going to see the wedding in 28 or they will leave it on a cliffhanger for next week. Lots of theories going round mainly cos of Neslihan saying new dimensions coming in episode 29, which could just mean married life etc. I have seen suggestions of memory loss, it's all a dream since episode one. I would personally love Eda to wake up like in episode one but for it to be a total turn around and she is the boss and Serkan the employee. Eda being robot yildiz appeals to me!!! I know it will never happen but leave me here with my dreams!!

I started the day at 90% sure they’ll be married in 28/29, but now I’m down to like 30% that they’ll get married in these episodes. I really, really want them to get married before whatever happens happens, because every scenario I can think of for this reset or starting again, seems like it would be better if they were married.  

However, the shooting spoilers from today, make me question that. Namely the videos where Hande appears to still be wearing the ring on her right hand. We shall see, that could be for many reasons. 

Honestly, though, I wouldn’t hate a memory loss storyline. Seeing one of them (and Serkan’s line in the trailer makes it seem like it might be him) lose their memory and have to fall in love all over again? There are worse fates for a shipper than getting to experience that all again but in a different way.  

Anonymous said: Your response to the fandom drama anon was so good, it's exactly how I feel. While I don't know what the old posts that were like are (that's shady as fuck) I did see all the other drama go down and wow. The actresses def need to stay in their lane and some of the fans, hoooo boy, it's obvious they're young based off their reactions alone. Had to unfollow some people once I realized what they were like. Also some of the IRL shipping reminded me of col*fer stuff, reading into everything and blowing it out of proportion (which then gets picked up by paps....). But you're right in that at least the show related drama is tame compared to OUAT. But still, people being too careless even while they know the paps see everything and harass Kerem and hande (omg did you see the video of hande the other day stopped in the van and she looked so overwhelmed 😔)

You’re referencing this post here about yesterday’s drama. 

Today Neslihan made it worse by addressing everything and claiming she didn’t like all those Hande-bashing posts because... wait for it... she was HACKED. Oy. Hackers got in and went back two years to like gross posts about Hande? Sure, Jan. While I don’t believe that for a second, I guess that at least gives her cover with Hande so they can all pretend it’s true and move on so it’s not awkward on set.  But, yikes, she needs to consult a publicist, she took a narrative that was circulating in certain circles in fandom and made sure all her followers were aware. Not very savvy. 

As for the paps coming after Hande, yes I did see her in the car, she did look overwhelmed. Back off vultures!!! That’s why I think Kerem sometimes throws himself to the wolves so that doesn’t happen. She always handles them like a pro, but you can tell she’d rather be anywhere else on earth than talking to them. 

The pap stuff is worse than I’ve seen before, they’re like vultures circling for any conjecture (sometimes made up out of thin air) they can turn into a question and blame fans. OUAT actors dealt with nothing like this. Also I can’t believe they never ask about the show. Like after last week? They could legit ask about the sex scene which probably would have given them some angle on the actors that they wanted, (especially since it was too hot for Turkish TV) but they let that pass them by, and instead asked the same questions about being together that they never answer. Dumbasses. They are not only awful people, they are awful at their jobs. 

In Van, the paps pay off crew members for info, they always know more than fans. Also I don’t remember stars of my shows getting this level of tabloid attention before. Except for on Riverdale, Lili and Cole generated that level of interest, and while I didn’t pay terribly close attention to them, I feel like they rarely talked to the paps, were just photographed. Also I don’t suspected the CW of calling the paps on them, but I suspect either the network or production company of sometimes calling them on Hande and Kerem. 

Anonymous said: Do you think it’s weird that they didn’t touch the kidnapping at all in either trailer? They might not have filmed it in time for the 1st one but certainly the 2nd. And I’m definitely not complaining about the ones we got because its like a fairytale but the kidnapping was the cliffhanger...? 🧐 I think they should’ve just left the princes storyline at “he went back to his country” but then they didn’t so......

If they’d left his story at just going back to his country, then the Prince really wouldn’t have served his purpose. He was brought on to cause some sort of trouble, so they probably need him to cause the trouble before he goes, lets hope it ends with this kidnapping!

And to answer your question, yes, I do think it’s weird that neither trailer touched on it. On any other show I’d think it was a huge red flag, but on this show maybe not as much because  a) there’s obviously a lot of romance in this episode, it’s not crazy that they are focusing on that to draw people in with the promos  b) this show likes to do cliffhangers that end up being no big deal, that happens a lot.  

Who knows it could turn out to be a big deal that shapes the rest of the episode in some unexpected way (Eda’s captured the whole episode and she’s dreaming about wedding prep, or... who knows) but I think it’s more likely that they resolve in the first 5-10 minutes and then move on.  Since we know from the summary (not that I trust those) that Serkan goes on the bachelor weekend, it feels like the Prince is taken care of prior to that. I don’t think he’d leave her alone for a second if there was a chance the Prince was still a threat. Perhaps Babaanne is pissed he tried to kidnap Eda and tells them she’ll handle it herself???

Anonymous said: Semiha not being in the promo is highkey suspicious. The actress is promoting the episode lol. She's about to Evil Queen this wedding ceremony but you know what, I'm fine with whatever she has planned if they end up married at the end of the day. What's funny is that since a lot of fans these days will assume that there will be shocking negative plot twists, not actually having one here would be a plot twist so I hope the writers keep them together for whatever's next haha

You’re not wrong, at this point, having this wedding take place would be a shocking twist for all of us!  As for Semiha... hmmm... it will be interesting to see what her reaction is to Eda being kidnapped by her pick of suitor. Serkan Bolat might be the son of the man indirectly responsible for her parents death, but he would never hurt her. Take note, Grandbag!  

Anonymous said: Do you mind sharing your speculative scenarios?

After the trailer today, I don’t know if I can even remember some of them. 

Memory loss

Grandma forces Serkan to choose between Eda and his company/wealth,  he chooses Eda and they start over from scratch with nothing

Time jump

AU starting over, showing a different path they might have taken together

Dream

These actors playing different characters in a new story

I don’t think the last three are likely, but they did spring to mind after some of Neslihan’s teases. 

Anonymous said: So this show doesn't get like fantastic ratings (it actually seems to be on the lower end compared to all other dizis airing) but the social media engagement is off the charts. Why is that?!? Is the show just extraordinarily popular internationally? or that this is a "shipping" show? I'm floored by the numbers - its like no other show/fandom is even trying

The ratings were terrific during the summer. But to your point, it has a huge fandom both in Turkey and internationally, but it’s worth noting that most of those charts you see where it beats every other show in every imaginable social metric is just for Turkey.  

It’s one of those lightning in a bottle situations where you get the right property and the right actors together at the right time and magic happens.  And, for sure, the number one reason is the shipping. Shipping drives fandom engagement, and a fantastic ship with a juicy, fun, tropey love story is what this show offers. It also offers up two extremely attractive, talented, likeable leads with off-the-charts chemistry (plus the added speculation about an off-camera relationship that has intrigued more than a few fans, tabloids and gossip sites and fueled interest) who have done a good job of building the fanbase through their social media engagement. Plus the timing is part of it as well. I don’t know about you, but this show hit the spot during this pandemic and the horror of 2020. We all needed this escape. 

Anonymous said:Do you think something happened in the writers room after the backlash of 25 and fan disappointment after Ayse's announcement? I feel like a switch flipped and now we're in fanficland with how much good content we've gotten in these last two episodes. Like I thought maybe they should wrap up the series soon before the characters got completely off the tracks but they may be finding their groove now and I'm interested to see what their next twist is after they can write out Balca/Seymen.

I don’t know about a switch flip, this show has been fanfic land since the first episode!  The tropes! That is how I described it to multiple people when I first started watching: an AU fanfic come to life.

As for the writing changes, no, I don’t think backlash after 25 affected 26 or 27, because 26 was already 90% shot, and 27 already written. However, I assume they themselves could tell that 25 got just too dark and had strayed pretty far from the DNA of the series. While I didn’t think it was bad, it was not fun to watch and this show ought to be fun to watch. 

Let’s hope, however, that the backlash affects future episodes in that they know what works... and what doesn’t.  The last two episodes definitely felt reminiscent of the first batch of episodes. Light, funny, romantic. If they can keep that tone... I’ll be thrilled.

Anonymous said: i didn't realize how much i missed "together" edser until watching 27.. it's been so long since they were "officially" together and we also had such few episodes of it.. ppl have been comparing it to 12 and while in some ways i agree, edser are always so different here than they were there. 12 was them navigating their new relationship.. they were more shy and finding their footing.. here they are very much established, as they should be after knowing their love for so long in comparison to 12!

Yes, it was lovely. You know I’ve preached a lot about how even though Eda and Serkan were broken up, they’ve still been together all this time. And it’s true, but there is something about them truly being together that is magical. We never got enough of that the first time around (a writing mistake in my opinion) and they’re so good together it’s lovely to watch. 

Anonymous said: Serkan not asking for help from Balca when asking his team for help with the marriage gifts preparations and refusing her offer of help when she asked made me so happy. Good job Serkan! He's learning! She's not trustworthy!

Yes, that was a good moment. And he was eyeing her very warily when she offered. The thing I don’t understand is how has no one caught on that she’s working with Babaanne? That entire office is filled with nosy people, has no one remarked on the number of times Balca has gone up to the office or they’ve disappeared for lunch at the same time? Come on Leyla! Come on Melo! Notice these things!  

Anonymous said: Fingers crossed that we finally make progress towards getting rid of Seiman & Balca now that all the girls were drugged and Eda was put in the car in the last episode. Unless Seiman has a change of heart and takes Eda back inside before anyone wakes & the guys get there then the show has to address it. Although I do not think Balca is going to back down unless Serkan straight up tells her he has zero interest in her and never will. Totally fine if that happens in the next episode.

Will Balca backdown even if she’s humiliated like that? She’s so delusional I’m not sure. What I am sure is that she’s dangerous. This came in before we saw the other two fragmans that have no mention of the kidnapping. Hard to picture how that is so easily resolved. Unless she frees herself (which seems unlikely in her groggy state) or maybe Melo’s future boyfriend is able to stop it before they get far?  Or I don’t know. I just know that I want to see Serkan lose his mind and all the other characters see Serkan lose his mind and then I want it to be over. LOL.

Anonymous said: As much as I am loving everything Edser, I cannot wait for Seiman, Balca and Grandma to be gone. And I am even more annoyed to think that the show might try to redeem all 3 characters. All 3 of them are truly awful people and no need to waste air time trying to make the audience think any different. Just my opinion...��🏻‍♀️. Show please finally expose those 3 for the psychos they are and get rid of them.

Bye bitches!  I don’t think there’s any redemption for Balca and Seiman. They both have poisoned/dosed people, hard to come back from that.  And there is no need to redeem them because neither is compelling enough to be a long-term character. But maybe Granny, we probably will see a redemption arc for her. 

Anonymous said: i know you were worried a few weeks ago that with ayse leaving as writer, we probably wouldn't have the same sort of comedy as previous episodes... but istg the whole kiz isteme scene, especially with chef alex, had me almost crying with laughter. especially when serkan off the cuff just goes "well if that's an option..." to everyone misunderstanding alex "wanting" ayfer for 2 nights and then eda ready to beat him with the flowers he bought her... comedic gold lmao.

SO GOOD! I was thrilled to see that sort of comedy, the sort of comedy we’d come to expect, from these writers. I think it bodes very well indeed!  

That scene was amazing. I know Neslihan said that much of it was improvised. Probably that line from Serkan (since Serkan is SO out-of-his-mind in love I’m not sure he could even joke about having Eda only two nights a week! LOL) was improv from Kerem, and Aydan asking about the other nights, and Seyfi bringing up the weekend. And Eda’s very Hande-esque “Ser-KAN.” 

I just love rewatching that scene and checking out everyone who is breaking character and just losing it. Cagri most of all. He’s blurred aback there but you can see Ferit spends the whole time laughing or trying to stifle a laugh. Reminds me of Cagri in the scene in 18 when they’re watching the security footage he was losing it in that scene as well. 

Anonymous said: i'm scared - I think they are really about to give us all of these happy EdSer scenes only to have something happen RIGHT before the wedding ceremony due to Babaanne. Based on the last episode, I don't think there's any chance of a breakup (knock on wood) but what if Serkan gets arrested, goes to jail for 2 years, and we get a time jump?

This was sent before the last two teasers, so yes I think something is gonna happen. We shall see!  I don’t really think Serkan going to jail for 2 years is in the cards, at least I hope not!  Besides if Babaanne did that she would have no hopes of ever reconciling with Eda, so that seems unlikely she’d follow through and leave him there for so long a time. 

Anonymous said: With the last week's sex scene, they did a lot of fade outs but the scene was basically still there so it wasn't much wasted effort for the actors. But for what they're teasing in episode 28 - idk how they can get away with showing them in the shower at all if Serkan lifting Eda with her clothes on had required blurring? Is Eda dropping her robe even pushing it? It's intriguing indeed.

Great questions. We’re 36 hours from finding out (well I'm longer than that because I wait for the English subs, hee hee) All I know is I want to see these scenes.. one way or another! 

[hookedonapirate]

Figure of Speech

Summary: Killian has been in love with Emma Swan ever since he was eleven and she was his babysitter. The last time he saw her was the day he kissed her, thinking they were having a special moment… right before she headed off to college with her boyfriend.

When their paths cross years later, he’s just happy she remembers him—because while he’s a talented, free-spirited journalist who takes risks and has a knack for finding trouble, Emma is an accomplished and sophisticated politician who’s planning to run for President of the United States. 

Sensing Killian Jones—the boy who once knew her and supported her long before she entered the soul-sucking world of politics—is the key to unlocking a part of herself that’s been dormant for so long, she hires him as her speechwriter. As she travels the world to launch her 2020 presidential campaign, he is by her side, helping Emma find her voice again. 

The attraction between them sizzles, but when they eventually give into it, will their relationship withstand the demands of the election and scrutiny of the public?

A/N: Thank you @ultraluckycatnd​ for beta reading and @onceuponaprincessworld​ for your help with this! Thank you @captainswanmoviemarathon​ for starting the event and everyone on discord for all your help!

Before you read, there are a few things I want to clarify.

First off, this story is heavily based on the movie, Long Shot, for the Captain Swan Movie Marathon, with some elements of OUAT weaved in. What I’m referring to mainly is that the president in this fic is in no way based on President Trump. In other words, I am not using this fic to bash the current U.S. president in any shape or form, or any other real-life president. So if you plan on going into this with that mindset, I beg you to hit the back button right now. This story in no way reflects my opinions or views, I mainly stuck to the plot of the movie.

Secondly, I hope that I have made it perfectly clear in the beginning scene of this chapter that Killian is not actually a white supremacist, he is only going undercover to get his story. Nor is he Jewish like Fred Flarsky is in the movie. He’s the Killian we all know and love. So please don’t send me hate messages accusing me of either being a racist or writing Killian as one. I was very torn whether to include this scene or not but I feel it is relevant to the plot and shows Killian’s character in this story as very passionate about what he believes in and is a big risktaker when getting his point across, so I decided to keep it.

Third of all, I know some of you are sick of hearing about politics, especially since the U.S. election is so close. But this is not a political movie, it’s a romance. There is of course some talk of politics, but I’ve tried my best to keep it to a minimum. So if you’re worried about that, please don’t be. The movie genre is a romantic comedy.

Writing this fic was a huge wake-up call for me because it’s the first one in a while that I’m not proud of, for lack of a better word, because I have not been able to spend much time on it. I have so many wips in my docs it’s not even funny and I think that has really impacted how this chapter turned out. But because of this fic, I decided to take some time and work on finishing some of my wips before posting them, with the exception of this one because today is my posting date.

With that said, because I’ve been pushing myself to finish my wips, I finished writing my first original novel after working on it for two years, and I will be publishing it soon. So be sure to look out for Follow My Lead, a romance about a former ballerina and a gym owner.

Okay, now I am done with my rant, so please enjoy!

AO3 FF.N

Rated: M

2018

“So you guys are fairly active on social media, right?” 

“Yeah,” Jaxon answers absentmindedly, his eyes focused on the cue ball as he lines up the shot.

“How many times a day would you say you Tweet on average?” 

Jaxon taps the ball, sends it into its pocket, and high-fives Marcus, ignoring the question.

“Hey Rogers, ready to get a Swastika tattoo?!” Richard calls from the other room as the tattoo artist is finishing up with him.

“No, that’s okay, I’m cool,” Killian replies nonchalantly through the large lump in his throat, glad his British accent didn’t leak out as he takes his turn.

“Oh, come on, man, we’ve all got ‘em!”

Killian gulps and looks around the room, all the members pulling up their shirts to show their tattoos on the left side of their chest. He was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but he can sense Jaxon is already suspicious of his motives. He forces a small smile, pointing to himself with his free hand as he holds up the cue stick in the other one. “You want me to get a swastika tattoo?”

“Yeah!” the group chants in unison.

“Then I’ll get a swastika tattoo,” he agrees submissively, hoping the anxiety he feels isn’t clear in his voice. He removes his leather jacket, or rather the jacket he borrowed from Victor, depositing it in a chair before he walks into the adjacent room where the tattoo artist is waiting for him. He sits in the parlor chair, his stomach twisted in knots as he chooses his left bicep for the tattoo and cringes at the thought of getting it. He’s never gotten a tattoo before, and not only is he afraid of needles, but his beliefs don’t at all resemble anything a swastika symbol resembles. Tattoos are removable, though, right? 

When the needle pierces his skin, he pinches his eyelids shut and yelps, “Blo-ooooody he-eeeell!” He realizes his mistake immediately when the words screech out in his thick, British accent. Plus, bloody hell isn’t exactly an American phrase. 

He’s praying no one noticed, because if they did, they would know he’s lying about who he claims to be, but when he flips his eyelids open, everyone’s staring at him.

Fuck.

Jaxon, the leader of the group, enters the room with Killian’s jacket in one hand and wallet in the other, raising it for everyone to see Killian’s driver’s license. His heart flitters with panic. “Look at this. He’s been lying to us. His name isn’t John Rogers,” Jaxon announces angrily. Marcus appears next to him, holding up his laptop. On the screen is the Storybrooke Advocate website with Killian’s profile pic on the page. “It’s Killian Jones. He works for the Storybrooke Advocate! He’s a fucking journalist!”

“Wait, wait, wait, I can explain!” Killian pleads, raising his hands in surrender. 

The members circle him like sharks, and everything becomes a blur as they yank him from the chair and slam him against a table. 

“What are you doing, trying to fucking embarrass us, huh?!” Jaxon screams at him. “Who sent you?!”

“No one sent me!” Killian claims adamantly, fear and pain crippling him as he tries to think his way out of this. “I was just…”

Before he can finish his sentence, Marcus reaches into Killian’s jeans pocket as the others hold him down, and pulls out his phone. Which is currently recording everything. “He’s been recording us this entire time!”

Jaxon’s face is red with anger, steam practically emitting from his ears as he grits his teeth and fists Killian’s shirt in a vice-like grip, pulling him so close that Killian smells his wretched breath. “You infiltrated our group! You’re gonna fucking die!”

They say your life flashes before your eyes during your very last moments. They say it’s like reliving every moment that’s ever stuck with you—every moment that’s ever made an impression on you. Killian always thought when he was finally shuffled off to sleep with the fishes, his life would appear in sequence or at least in random order, featuring all the people who have played a vital role in his life—his parents, his brother, his best friend—but he never thought one person would stick in his mind. He never thought all the images flashing before his eyes would be of one person and one person only.  

The woman he’s been in love with since he was eleven years old.

Killian remembers when he first fell in love with her like it were yesterday. Or at least an eleven-year-old boy’s version of love. He remembers the song, It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday by Boyz II Men, was playing on the boombox. He remembers what day it was, what he was wearing and the fuzzy feeling in his chest. He remembers thinking about one of his favorite movies, The Sandlot, how Squints tricked the lifeguard, Wendy Peffercorn, into kissing him and how she eventually married him even though she was older and way out of his league. 

Back then, a three or four year age gap seemed like a huge deal, but maybe because he was so young and she was… well she was so grown up and mature and very beautiful for her age. Not Wendy Peffercorn. Well, he supposes Wendy was too, but Killian had his real-life version of the movie character. His version of her was also blonde. She may not have been a lifeguard, but she was his next-door neighbor and also his babysitter ever since his brother left to join the Navy. Killian’s bedroom had an excellent view of her backyard and he would occasionally watch her sunbathing by the pool as she listened to music on her headphones or read a book in her bikini. Not only did she have a beautiful body, but she was wicked smart. She was passionate about the environment and the things she cared about. She was super nice to him—which went a long way with him—and had a ridiculously cute, dimpled smile. She was perfect. An angel.

Maybe that’s why, right before his death, she’s the only one he sees.

Before he met her, he never considered kissing a girl, or even liking one for that matter. He thought girls were gross and had cooties. But Emma was no girl. Not even at fifteen. She was a woman. 

Emma Swan was his Wendy Peffercorn.

She still is. Even as he’s being threatened by a group of angry white supremacists. 

She’s all he sees.

“Did you know that every year, the school throws away over five hundred tons of recyclable garbage? And no one cares!”

“Aye, it’s rubbish. But how do you get muppets to care about stuff they don’t care about?” 

Emma shrugs. “They’ll just…” She bites her bottom lip, hesitance etching her features, “they’ll just c-care because it’s the right thing to care about.” She may not have all the answers, but she’s the most inspiring person he knows.

He smiles and rests one elbow on the counter, his chin perched in his hand as he admires her passion for the environment. He admires how beautiful she is in simply a snug pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt with a picture of a buttercup on the front. He admires her waist-length, golden hair, how it glows radiantly in the sunlight cascading through the kitchen window and how it swishes from side to side when she turns around to grab a mitt and pull the pizza out of the oven. Delicious aromas of crisp, baked bread, melted mozzarella cheese and sweet tomato sauce waft through the kitchen, making his stomach growl. Licking his lips, he jumps off the stool and heads over to grab a slice from the pan.

She gently swats his hand away. “Don’t touch, kid, you’ll burn yourself. Let it cool, first.”

He frowns as he returns to his seat. He hates it when she calls him that. He doesn’t want her to think of him as a kid; he’s almost a teenager! Heeding her warning, he does his best to resist the temptation of getting up again and grabbing a slice, even though the gooey, golden cheese, colorful toppings and toasted crust look amazing. Instead, he places the hand she’d touched on his cheek. He never wants to wash his hand or his cheek ever again.

Emma continues the speech she’d prepared for her Student Council election. She’s running for president, and he is not only her biggest supporter, but he also came up with her campaign slogan, ‘Stay calm and vote for Swan’. He was quite proud of himself when she actually thought it was clever enough to use.

“I would definitely vote for you, Swan.”

“Thanks, Killy,” she says, ruffling a hand through his hair.

Now that’s a better nickname. Though he hates when his brother calls him Killy, he never minds when Emma does. 

Once the pizza is cool enough to eat, Emma returns to the oven, using a pizza cutter on the pie. She plates two big slices, one for each of them, and brings them to the counter, sitting next to him. They eat their pizza in silence at first, besides the yummy food noises they make.

“Thanks for helping me. I know it’s probably boring hearing my speech over and over again.”

He shakes his head. “Not at all,” he mumbles through a mouth full of pizza. “I’m just happy to help,” he smiles. His hand pauses midair, still holding his half-eaten slice of pizza as he locks eyes with his beautiful babysitter. He wonders if she feels the same way he does, and normally he wouldn’t think it was possible, but the way she’s looking at him right now makes him rethink everything.

She reaches out to him, and he closes his eyes as she caresses his cheek. His heart slams against his chest and he loses all the air from his lungs. And that’s when he knows he’s totally and completely in love. Her hand feels so wonderfully warm, he wants to spend the rest of his life feeling her touch and immediately gets a chill when she pulls her hand away. 

“All better.”

His eyes flip open to see Emma wiping her hand with a napkin. She looks up at him and smiles. “You had some sauce on your face.”

He chuckles on the outside, but internally he’s berating himself for being foolish enough to think someone like Emma Swan could possibly like him. She’s way too good for him. 

Especially when he’s thirteen and has to wear glasses. As if hitting puberty isn’t bad enough, he also has to sport the most hideous pair of thick-framed glasses. By then, his father said he was too old to have a babysitter, so he didn’t get to see Emma as much. He mowed the Swans’ lawn occasionally, but she was gone most of the time with extracurricular activities and prepping for college. He convinced himself she could never be into someone like him. Someone who was nerdy and awkward and four years her junior. 

Until one day when he’s fourteen and she’s eighteen.

She’s leaving for college and he’s been in his room sulking while listening to It’s So Hard to Say Goodbye for two weeks, not looking forward to her departure. He’s afraid he’ll never see her again. But he’s also happy for her. She’s off to better and greater things, greener pastures as they say. She’s going to Harvard and leaving him in the dust.

He’s on the front porch, sitting on the top step, his chin in his hands and his elbows propped up on his knees as he watches Emma and her parents packing up her things. He wants to offer his assistance, but this seems like a very important bonding moment for the three of them and he doesn’t wish to interrupt. He can tell Mr. and Mrs. Swan are both incredibly sad but also very proud of their daughter, and there are lots of hugs and tears by the time the car is packed. Then Emma says something to her parents and they wave at Killian. He smiles and waves back before they head inside.

Emma walks over to him, and he immediately stands up, making his way down the remaining steps.

“Hey,” she murmurs, smiling at him.

“Hey,” he parrots, offering a small smile. “So, you’re all packed?”

“Yeah, we’re leaving soon.”

Nodding nervously, he scratches behind his ear as he looks away, not sure what to say.

“Look, I’m not a goodbye person, but — ”

“Let’s not say goodbye then,” he suggests and offers his hand. But instead of shaking it, she throws her arms around him. Killian’s stunned, and can’t even move at first, completely paralyzed in her embrace.

Emma’s hugging him.

He slowly molds into her body, his arms wrapping around her waist as she tightens her hold. Her hair smells like strawberries and cream as he buries his face there. He never wants to let her go.

“I’ll miss you, Killian,” she whispers in his ear.

His heart does a little somersault, and he whispers, “Not a day will go by when I won’t think of you.”

He feels her smile against his neck. “Good.”

That one simple word does something to him and he grins into her hair, holding her tighter. 

She breaks the hug long before he’s ready, and he’s still awestruck as she leans in to kiss him.

Bloody hell. 

Emma Swan leans in for a kiss as he springs forward to meet her halfway. Their lips finally connect like they had so many times in his dreams, but he doesn’t fail to miss how surprised she is when a gasp escapes against his mouth. She doesn’t pull away, but he knows he probably should after realizing she was actually going for his cheek. But her lips are so soft and warm and taste like cinnamon and cocoa, and he swears they move ever so slightly against his. He still has his arms around her, pressing her to him, and her center suddenly moves away from him. Forcing himself to break the kiss, he looks down and notices the very prominent and very hard erection tenting his pants.

Fuck.

His cheeks are on fire as he looks up, apology and embarrassment flushing his face. He’s expecting her to either slap him or storm away and never look back, but she stares down at his groin, her mouth agape. 

“Bloody hell, I’m so sorry, love.”

“It’s okay,” Emma squeaks as her eyes snap up to his.

Just then, a ‘69 Ford Mustang pulls up in front of Emma’s house, the music booming through the speakers at an obnoxious volume.

He panics when Emma’s boyfriend gets out of the car and makes his way over to them. Killian forgot Neal was riding with Emma to Harvard, where he was certainly not attending. Neal could only get into a community college.

Killian quickly pulls off the backward baseball cap from his head and uses it to cover his obvious boner. 

“Hey, babe, ready to go?” 

She nods and looks at Killian, a small smile tilting her lips. 

“Bye, four-eyes,” Neal taunts with a condescending sneer as he wraps his arm around Emma’s shoulders.

Really?

Killian bites his tongue as he rolls his eyes. That nickname really gets old. Can’t he think of something more original?

“Don’t call him that,” Emma scolds her boyfriend, swatting his chest. “He has a name.”

“Sorry, I mean Killian,” he says insincerely before turning around and pulling Emma with him.

As Killian watches them walk away, pushing up the bridge of his glasses with his finger, he would give anything to be the one with his arm around Emma, the one leaving with her instead of being the one she leaves. She cranes her neck to look at him as she walks away. He swears she’s looking at him longingly but he’s sure he’s only imagining it. She’s still gazing at him until her parents emerge from the house. Neal doesn’t even have the courtesy to open the door to her parents’ station wagon for her, and instead hurries into the back seat. 

Arsehole, Killian thinks bitterly as he watches the vehicle pull away from the curb. Emma stares at him through the passenger’s window, and their eyes connect. He flashes one last smile and waves. She smiles back at him and presses her palm to the window before she disappears down the road and out of his life, leaving a permanent gaping hole in his heart. 

He always thought not being able to see Emma anymore was the scariest thing he’s ever experienced. But that was before he was inked with part of a swastika tattoo so his cover wouldn’t be blown. That was before he fell from a two-story building and landed in a dumpster. Luckily the trash bags cushioned his fall and didn’t contain any glass or other sharp objects. He hadn’t really thought that through when he jumped. But then again, he didn’t really have time to do anything but run for his life while Marcus and Jaxon were busy trying to figure out how to stop Killian’s phone from recording. Killian took advantage of the distraction and plucked the phone from their hands, sprinting for the nearby window.

His phone.

Killian quickly lifts his hand to see that not only is his phone still in his hand but it’s still intact. He climbs out of the dumpster, his entire body sore, but he lands on his feet. He’d left his leather jacket up there, but it wasn’t even his. Killian doesn’t wear leather jackets, he’s content with his hoodies. He borrowed the jacket from his best friend, Victor. He’ll be pissed, but oh well, Killian will buy him a new one.

Three of the members are poking their heads out the window and Killian looks up at them, throwing the hand that’s still holding his phone in the air. He feels like Bennie in The Sandlot when he finally gets the baseball from the beast and hurdles the fence, still holding onto the ball. The difference is the beast chased Bennie down. The difference is the beast in the movie was not actually a beast at all. He can’t say the same about those white supremacists, though.

“We trusted you, man!” Richard calls out. He’s the one Killian had contacted through one of their social media groups. 

“Sorry, mate,” he says in his British accent, his words lacking any sort of apology as he spins around. “Peace!” he calls behind him trying to sound as American as he can, and instead of saluting the members with two fingers, which is not a peace sign for Brits, he flips them the bird as he goes. 

∞∞∞

“Tonight on Walsh News, we take an in-depth look at Emma Swan, a Rhodes Scholar, a Pulitzer Prize winner and a protégé of President Gold who tapped Swan two years ago to be the youngest Secretary of State in the history of this nation.”

As sore as Killian is from that jump out of a two-story window and as much as he hates that arsehole, Walsh, and everything the media mongrel represents, he lifts his eyes from his MacBook. He pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose and manages a small smile when he sees Emma on the television screen. He knows what he’d done to write his article and expose the White Power group was worth it. He may have lost faith in humanity long ago, but Emma’s passion and ambition and hope have always stuck with him. He wants to believe the support he’d always shown her when they were young has always stuck with her too, but he doubts it. She doesn’t need his support. She never did. She was never a helpless duckling, and even after she lost the student council election to August Booth because of his stupid two prom platform, her wounds healed and she eventually spread her wings and soared high in the sky, leaving Storybooke in the dust. 

As Killian gazes at her wistfully at the screen, he sees the elegant swan he always knew she’d become. While everyone he knows had hopes and dreams they gave up on long ago, Emma is the one person who made hers come true. Well, not quite all of them. She always talked about saving the planet, but he knows her work isn’t nearly finished. She’s only thirty-seven, and even though they haven’t spoken to one another since the day he watched her ride away in her parents’ 1987 Pontiac Safari Station Wagon, he still believes in her. He’ll always believe in her.

∞∞∞

Emma sucks in a deep breath as she twists the knob and opens the thick, wooden door, entering the Oval Office with a little bit of forced enthusiasm. President Gold had been vague over the phone about what he’d wished to discuss with her, but his tone of voice indicated it might be something big. “Good morning Mr. President,” she greets with the smile she had practiced in her bedroom mirror repeatedly that morning. 

“Hello, Ms. Swan.” He rises from his chair and rounds the desk, gesturing to one of the couches. “Please, have a seat.”

She sits down and crosses her legs, folding her hands in her lap as he sits on the couch across from her and rests his elbows on his knees. “Ms. Swan…”

“Yes, sir?”

He blows out a long breath as if whatever he’s about to tell her has been weighing on his mind for quite some time. “I will not be seeking re-election.”

Emma’s sure the awestruck expression on her face doesn’t even come close to how surprised she actually is. “Really?” Did she hear him correctly?

He nods, clapping his hands together. “Look, I know how absurd it sounds seeing as I’m only halfway through my first term—”

“And you’re incredibly popular, sir.” But she knows most of his popularity stems from being a television star before he took office. He hosted the popular game show, Let’s Strike a Deal.

“And I’m going to use that popularity to transition into something more prestigious than the presidency. I wanna make it in the movies.”

Emma blinks, not believing what she’s hearing. She opens and closes her mouth several times, trying to process this. “Yoooouuuu… want to leave… the presidency… to be a movie star?”

“I know it’s tough to make the leap from television to film, but I think I’m going to give it a shot.”

After the initial shock washes over her, she sees this as an opportunity. She had planned on running for president in 2024, but with Gold leaving office at the end of his first term, perhaps she can use this to her advantage. And she knows just how to go about it. Gold may be good at convincing people—he is an actor after all—but Emma not only has far more education than him, her extensive political background has helped her greatly improve her cajolery tactics over the years. After she lost the Student Council election to August Booth in high school, she’s learned that in order to get ahead, sometimes you have to use a little sleight of hand to get there—give the people what they want, so to speak. Or, in this case, help Gold realize just how legendary his presidency could be.

“Mr. President, have you given any consideration as to whom you might endorse? I’m sure you’re probably thinking of Yang or Crowley. Sound choices,” she nods and purses her lips, averting her gaze, a look of contemplation on her face. “It’s so strange because I was considering a run in 2024, and I can’t stop wondering what…” she looks at Gold again, “what it would do for your legacy to endorse the first female president. I mean, wow. ” The word is breathy, almost a whisper. “Now that’s a legacy.”

Gold presses his joined hands to his lips and has a thoughtful expression embedded in his features, but she can’t discern what he’s thinking.

She looks at the floor between them while he ponders her words. 

“Emma?” he finally says after a moment.

“Hmm?” She reverts her eyes to him.

“I would like to endorse you to be the next President of the United States.” 

Her entire body is thrumming with excitement and her stomach is full of butterflies; she doesn’t even care he said it like it was his idea. She’ll even give him credit for it. Besides, trying to convince him otherwise would be like trying to teach a fish how to bark. She closes her eyes and refrains from jumping up and down on the couch. She opens her eyes again, trying to hide the excitement in her voice but fails, her tone coming out unusually high pitched. “I mean, if you think that’s a good idea, sir, I trust you completely. I’d be… I’d be honored.”

He reclines back, wagging a finger at her. “I’ll be pulling for Team Emma. Because you’ve been a great secretary.”

“Of State,” she adds.

“Whatever. You’ve done it well, Dearie.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“So stay focused. Don’t make any major screw-ups. Don’t kill anyone. That’s probably not a problem for you. I don’t know what you’re into. Whatever. And before you know it…” He rises from the couch and hums the US Presidential Anthem. 

“I like the sound of that,” Emma says with a jubilant smile as she stands up.

“Hey here she comes, it’s the first lady president,” he chants.

“Thank you, sir.” She heads for the door, Gold following behind her still singing. 

“Who can believe she is actually a woman. She’s got a big brain and a couple other assets.”

Emma opens the door and walks through, not even giving another thought to how incredibly sexist Gold is being. She’s floating high on a cloud as she sashays proudly down the hall and raises a subtle victory fist in the air, whispering to herself, “Yessss!”

∞∞∞

“You’re gonna love this,” Killian raves as he hands the piece to his boss. “I almost died for this.”

Sidney lowers the mug from his lips, swallowing his coffee down. He offers a tightlipped smile as he glances very briefly at the draft before looking up at Killian, a serious expression clouding his face. “Got a second?”

“Of course.” 

“Come with me.”

Killian follows Sydney into his office and sits across from him at the desk, setting his satchel on the floor.

Sydney sets down Killian’s article and his coffee mug, folding his hands together on the desk. “I have some great news, Killian. We’ve just been bought by Walsh Media.” 

Killian pales and his stomach drops. “What?!” Blood bubbles under his skin at the thought of the wanker buying the Storybrooke Advocate. The thought of him owning something Killian has literally put his blood, sweat and tears into. “Bloody hell. Are you fucking kidding me?!” Ever since he was a kid, he’s dreamed of being an investigative journalist, so he’s been nothing but loyal and dedicated to the company from day one. But in the blink of an eye, Walsh has managed to ruin all that for him.

“Look, I knew you would have a poor reaction—”

“A poor reaction?!”

“Killian, this is a good thing.”

“How?! That wanker represents everything we’ve been fighting against since day one. The whole point of this paper is to fight giant media conglomerates. Now we’ve been bought by a giant media conglomerate.”

“I see the irony,” Sydney nods.

“Irony?!” Killian stands from his chair, his voice growing louder with every word. “He’s going to turn us into a giant propaganda machine! And not the good kind!” Anger pulsates through him as he paces back and forth in front of Sidney’s desk; he’s never been this worked up before in his entire life. And that’s saying something for him.

“Killian, we’re running out of options. We’ve been running as long as we can on ads for weed doctors and escorts.”

Killian stops in his tracks and raises his hands in the air. “Then run penis enlargement ads or something!”

“Come on, Killian,” Sydney admonishes.

He sighs in exasperation, trying to calm down, his voice calmer. “This Walsh guy ran fake stories to get Gold elected.”

Sydney shakes his head and raises a finger at him. “No, they couldn’t prove that.”

“We proved it!” He holds up three fingers. “I wrote three articles about it. You published them!”

Sydney nods, lowering his face into the palm of his hand. “I did.”

“The shite that comes out of this guy’s mouth? He said same-sex marriage caused tornadoes! He represents everything that’s wrong with this country!”

“Killian, it’s done, alright?”

He freezes. “It’s done?!”

“They’re upstairs, finalizing the deal right now.” 

Killian presses the pads of his fingers to his temples and turns away from his boss as he tries to process this. 

Sydney stands and rounds his desk, sitting on the edge, pleading with him. “Look, we have to cut two-thirds of our staff.”

Killian turns around, devastation in his features. “Two-thirds?”

“Yes. But we want to keep you on. They want to keep you on. It’s just,” he blows out a hesitant breath, “you just have to tone it down a little bit.”

Killian furrows his brows in bewilderment. “I don’t know how I can tone things down any more than I’m toning them down, mate,” he mutters through gritted teeth.

“Okay look, Killian, you’re a brilliant writer…”

“Thank you.”

“You’re funny, you take risks, you connect with people…”

Killian’s brows pinch in suspicion. “Why am I sensing there’s a big but coming?”

“You have a distinct, authentic voice… but… ”

“And there it is…” he sighs.

“But, sometimes you’re a little too much.”

Killian is taken aback. “I don’t think I am too much. I actually think I’m the perfect portion,” he says defensively.

“Look, you have your job, so focus on that and just toe the line a little bit.”

Killian is enraged. Toe the line a little bit?! He’s not toeing any lines. “I quit.”

Sydney’s face twists with a mixture of shock and disappointment. “Oh, come on, Killian…”

“You should quit, too. Everyone should bloody well quit.”

“No, I’m not quitting, I need my job.”

“I need my job too. I’m broke. But I can’t work for that tosser.”

Sydney sighs. “At least let me fire you so you can collect unemployment.”

Killian slices a hand through the air over his chest. “No bloody way! I want nothing from him. Besides, I want him to know I quit.”

“He’ll never know it, he’s never heard of you. You’re going to destroy your life to spite a guy who’s never heard of you?”

“Yes! You said it best! That’s exactly what I’m doing. Fuck this.” Killian grabs his satchel and walks out of Sydney’s office, closing the door behind him, announcing to all his former coworkers, “Journalism died today, people!”

∞∞∞

“So the headline is, you’re in great shape,” Mary Margaret, the polling team manager, points out as she displays the next presentation slide.

Emma’s sitting at the meeting table between her Chief of Staff, Regina Mills, and Deputy Chief of Staff, Robin Locksley, trying to follow along with the presentation, but it’s difficult for Emma to focus when her stomach is full of butterflies. She still can’t believe she persuaded Gold to endorse her. Her head is spinning.

“Ninety-two percent, that’s good,” Regina comments. 

“It’s very good,” Mary Margaret agrees exuberantly and moves on to the next slide, which shows Emma’s personality traits and how they were ranked. “Your sense of humor is eighty-two, which is solid.” Mary Margaret cocks her head to the side, as though she has to rethink that assessment. “It’s solid, but we wouldn’t mind seeing that number go up a few points… or more.”

Regina leans in to speak to Emma as she takes notes. “I’ll get some writing samples from some funny speechwriters.”

Emma sets her pen down and smiles. “Thanks, Regina.” She rests her elbows on the table, clasping her hands together as she reverts her attention to Mary Margaret and says, “But I’m really interested in knowing how people feel about my accomplishments.” 

“Right, so we don’t drill down on specific policies, and that’s only because people don’t seem to care.”

Well, that’s a blow to the gut.

“With that said, if you could broker a deal that gets you out there talking about something you feel strongly about, that would be really great.”

“Well, that’s perfect,” Emma says enthusiastically, sitting on the edge of her chair. “We’ve been looking for an opening to start a conversation about the environment.” 

“That sounds great,” Mary Margaret says with a grin, but Emma’s not sure if she’s being sarcastic and trying to hold back a laugh, or if she’s being sincere. “Now, if I may, onto your romantic life…” The brunette shows a photo of Emma and Graham Humbert smiling for the camera.

Emma refrains from rolling her eyes as she rests her chin in her palm. She doesn’t have a romantic life. One make-out session with a world leader she barely knows doesn’t constitute a romance.

However, the way Mary Margaret gushes as she looks at the couple in the photo, one would think they were actually a couple. “Remember the stir online when you and the Canadian Prime Minister were seated next to each other at the Global Business Forum?”

Emma nods, wishing she were taking a nap right now. She doesn’t care about improving her personality traits or starting a romance that will raise her numbers and appease the public. Although she is quite proud of her two highest scores, elegance and charisma, both ranked at over ninety-five percent.

“A relationship like that,” Mary Margaret points to the photo of Emma and Graham, “could push you into the high nineties.”

“High nineties? Wow,” Regina murmurs to herself, making note of it.

“That brings us to…” Mary Margaret switches to the next slide, showing Emma’s wave.

She knits her brows in confusion. “What’s wrong with my wave?”

“That kind of elbow movement is um…” Mary Margaret purses her lips as though she’s trying to figure out how to put it delicately, but then gives up, “well, it stresses people out.”

“You know what? It’s just an area of improvement,” Robin assures Emma after sensing the offended tone in her voice.

She supposes the movement in her elbow is a bit too much. It makes her look like a robot actually. “Fine, I’ll work on the wave.”

∞∞∞

“I’m not going to a fancy rich person party,” Killian declares after Victor proposed going to the World Wildlife Fund benefit in Philly tonight. Killian had shared the details with Victor and now they’re walking down Main Street discussing their plans for the evening. But Killian thought Vic was trying to make him feel better. Going to a fancy, rich person party will only remind Killian how rich he is not. He had something else in mind, something involving the closest bar and lots and lots of rum. 

“Oh, come on, Jones. Don’t be so judgemental. There will be free booze and pandas and shit. People love pandas and shit.”

Killian shakes his head. “I just lost my job, I’m not really in the mood to mingle.”

“Fine, just sit at home and do nothing. Don’t hang out with your best friend and Boyz II Men.”

Killian’s ears perk up and he stops in his tracks. “Boyz II Men will be there?”

Victor stops walking and turns around, nodding. “Yep. They’re bringing their timeless blend of R&B and hip hop to the party. The fancy rich party doesn’t sound so bad after all, now does it?”

Not at all. He used to listen to Boyz II Men and other popular musicians in the nineties. But mostly Boyz II Men because it’s what he and Emma would listen to when she was over at his house babysitting him. He didn’t know Victor then; they met in college before Victor went off to medical school, but they have similar tastes in music. Which is how Victor knew exactly how to persuade Killian into going to a fancy, rich person party. “Okay, I’m in, mate.”

“That’s the spirit!” Victor pats Killian on the shoulder, and they walk again as Victor sings Motownphilly.

∞∞∞

“I’m starving. Why didn’t you power bar me?” Emma asks Robin as they make their way down the staircase, Regina and her Secret Service agents following behind them.

The Grand Room glitters like something out of a fairy tale, all candlelight and crystal chandeliers and gilt and sophisticated shine. The attendees glitter, the women dripping in diamonds and other precious stones and the men donning suits and black ties. 

“I tried to, but you pushed my hand away,” Robin chuckles.

“Hopefully they don’t have skewered foods. I can’t eat skewered foods gracefully; I always look like a fucking cavewoman.”

“And there are cameras everywhere.” Regina points at a dutiful photographer who’s unobtrusively circling the perimeter of the room, taking pictures of as many of the guests as he can. “That would hurt your elegance score.”

“That’s my best score.”

When they reach the buffet table, Emma’s relieved to find that not all the food is on skewers. But even so, she’s so hungry, she may still look like a cavewoman trying to stuff as much food into her mouth as she can. “Cover me?”

“Of course.”

Regina and Robin both stand behind her like walls as Emma makes her first selection, grabbing a saucy meatball on a toothpick and bringing it to her mouth, being careful not to drip any sauce on her black dress. 

“Oh my god, these meatballs are really good,” Emma mumbles through a mouthful of food.

“Graham Humbert is approaching,” Regina warns her. “He’s about nine feet away.”

“Shit,” Emma whispers and shoves another meatball into her mouth before wiping her lips and chin with a napkin. After swallowing it down and discarding the napkin, she spins around, offering a bright smile. 

When Graham approaches her, giving her a once over, Regina and Robin disperse.

“Graham… how are you?”

“Good evening.” His lips twitch in a pleased smile as he takes Emma’s hand and presses a kiss to the back of it. “I am so sorry I missed you at the White House a few weeks ago,” he says in his thick, Irish brogue. He was born in Canada, but his parents are originally from Ireland, so naturally, he took on their Irish accent.

“Oh, it’s fine.” Emma waves off his apology with a flick of her hand. “Maybe next time?”

“Well, I—”

“If I may?” the photographer interrupts, holding up his camera.

“Aye, of course,” Graham turns toward him, and Emma relents, remembering what Mary Margaret said about how being seen with Graham would raise her score. She supposes if she’s going to be running for president, she must endure some things she may not like, in order to appease the public. Besides, it’s not like Graham is bad looking; in fact, he’s rather handsome with his curly brown hair and grey-blue eyes. But her hectic schedule doesn’t allow time for a romantic relationship. 

Graham wraps his arm around her as she places a tentative hand on his back. The camera flashes a few times as Emma and Graham hold their smiles.

“One more,” Graham says, just as Emma’s about to pull away. 

A few more successive shots are taken before Graham thanks the photographer and they break their pose, turning toward each other. 

He inches closer, speaking intimately in her ear. “What do you say we get out of here? Grab a drink somewhere a bit more… private?”

The music changes from something soft and elegant to something more familiar. Very familiar actually. 

Motownphilly.

Emma looks over Graham’s shoulder and her eyes light up when she sees Boyz II Men on stage. “Yeeeessss!”  

When Regina told her about the World Wildlife Fund benefit, she failed to mention Boyz II Men would be performing.

“Yeah?” Graham asks, a big smile spreading across his lips.

While he’s thinking she was saying yes to his invitation, Emma had forgotten his presence as soon as she heard the music. Not that she would’ve accepted his invitation anyway. But now she sees this as an opportunity to avoid the question altogether. “Oh my God!” Emma scurries over to the crowd that’s gathering around the entertainers of the evening.

“Alright, alright, alright, alright. Philly, make some noise. Make some noise!”

The crowd whistles and cheers, and Emma is taken back to when she was a kid again. She was ten when this song came out—when she bought their CD—and listened to it constantly throughout her teen years. 

Graham joins her on the dance floor as she moves to the music, not even caring about her elegance score. She literally hasn’t danced like this since high school, but she feels more carefree than she has in years and she hasn’t even had a sip of champagne. Stuffy music and champagne have never been her thing. But this… this is her music.

“Duty calls.” Graham’s deep voice in her ear makes her jump, and she spins around to look at him. “I’ll take a snow check on those drinks. Canadian for a rain check,” he winks.

“Okay,” Emma says, forcing a small laugh at his joke. 

“Good evening,” he bids her, slowly walking away.

∞∞∞

“I feel very underdressed,” Killian grumbles as he peers down at himself. He’d never thought to change out of his blue jeans, t-shirt and black hoody, and here he is drinking champagne in a room full of rich people who are wearing tuxes and formal dresses.

“Don’t worry, you look fine,” Victor says as they make their way through the crowd. 

Killian knows he’s just being nice though. Even Victor is wearing a dress shirt and blazer, but then again he blends in more with the other rich folk because unlike Killian, he’s not jobless or poor; he’s a doctor who makes more than a decent living.

Killian finishes his champagne and places the flute on a tray when a waiter approaches, and snatches another one, gulping it down like rum.

“Easy, buddy. You’re pounding those drinks pretty hard, don’t you think?” And that’s coming from Victor, who’s at the bar every night he’s not on call.

“I got fired today, mate.” 

“I thought you said you quit?”

Killian’s gaze moves across the room as he turns his head to look at Victor who is standing next to him. “I was forced to quit because—” His words die in his throat, his jaw dropping when his eyes land on a gorgeous blonde dancing.

But not just any blonde. Killian recognizes her. 

It’s the Secretary of State. It’s Emma Swan. His first crush. His first kiss. 

He hasn’t seen her in person since she was eighteen, but she’s even more stunning as a grown woman. And she’s even more stunning than she is on television. 

[piraticalarchive]

Repost, don’t reblog! Tag 6 muns you would like to get to know better when done!

Name: Taylor. I joined tumblr for my first ever rp experience and i had never heard of aliases. Sometimes I joke around with changing it but honestly, I feel like its lying at this point. I don’t know why. Some people do it for safety issues and I get that but I had such a reputation as being a jerk that I think it’s better to keep ‘taylor’ and let people decide for themselves. It’s never changing. Kind of like this url/blog. It’s all here. The good, the bad and the ugly.

Favourite muse(s) you’ve written: Captain Hook without a doubt. Not a moment’s hesitation. 100 % full stop. The dichotomy of his entire character makes everything so interesting. I’ve waxed on about how much I love this twit as a muse as far as personality etc goes .. but I also love the relationships he’d led me to. The way writing him has led me on my own journey. The things I’ve learned about myself and the way I’ve grown as a writer. I’m pretty proud of what I’ve accomplished and looking at the writing relationships I have on this blog and knowing they extend for years is just .. so fucking cool in my mind.

What inspired you to take on your current muse (that you are posting this on): It was a myriad of things. I’ve always loved captain hook and I had been on tumblr with my personal for the first time ever for about a month when I somehow stumbled across the rp community. I kind of was like ‘can i do this?’ but I didn’t see a lot of literature based blogs and no version of hook that i knew of felt the ‘idea’ i had in my head. Like two or three days later I was working on an A&P online lab at my best friend’s house and she was trying to get into ouat and the ep she was on was the crocodile. I barely paid attention but I was drawn to Killian from the first moment. I didn’t realize he was meant to be captain hook until the last scene when he yells out neverland! but we won’t talk about that. I checked out his next three episodes and was pretty into it. I knew from the first moment I didn’t want to write that character, however. I wanted him to be my iteration of Captain Hook. I was wary with the ouat fandom because i was so new and there were a million killians around, so I randomly joined the robin hood bbc fandom and replied to like five opens?? because what was mutual exclusivity back then. He blew up pretty fast and it was a lot of ‘learn on the go’, but here we are. And I wouldn’t change anything. He’s developed so much from how he used to be and I love that because there’s no way I could write a static character for seven years.

What are your favourite aspects of your current muse: the anger. the attitude and confidence that is simply a wall formed around a very broken man. He can be so fucking funny. There are a few times where I laugh out loud writing stuff, even the stuff that isn’t necessarily in a ‘crack au’. He can be so absurd that he fits in anywhere and I credit barrie for that. He makes the character of ‘hook’ a very real human being. A killer, yeah, but he’s also a hedonist who is obsessed with keeping his nails clean and has an affinity for flowers. I love that.

What’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing: Peter Pan 2003 does it for me. But also any emotional scene. The Land Before Time usually gets me going on this blog. I also have a tendency to write killian when I feel overinflated with ego or I’m bordering on the edge of manic. That’s when I get my best writing done (for this blog at least) - so I think my activity is usually like three or four days of writing and then radio silence haha. I’m also a big fan of songs and I have different playlists for different moods I might try to be creating.

Favourite types of threads: FUCKING ANGST. I love angst. I think there’s such room for growth during an angst thread. Pushing your character out of their (and possibly your) comfort zone - you learn a lot about someone based on how they react in a crisis. I’m not super good at fluff etc which is probably why I don’t ship a lot.

Biggest struggle in regards to your current muse: the time and the energy. there are so many things i want to write and so many people i want to write with - but sometimes I get overwhelmed by the sheer number of them. I worry I’m too slow and people will get tired of waiting which then leads to me freezing up and being even slower. I struggle with telling people ‘no’ now because I’ve tried to be so much more open and welcoming and different than how I used to be and sometimes I end up writing things I don’t necessarily feel or agree with as far as his character goes, because I’m afraid to let someone down or hurt their feelings. I’m starting to move away from that though. I’m falling back into the mindset of i don’t care. unfollow me...which is a nice change. I think having a lot of my best friends returning has a lot to do with it. It reminds me of how much fun it was when it was just about writing with friends and ignoring tumblr politics / that new atmosphere that has invaded the rpc as far as hand holding goes. I’ve reached my limit when it comes to making myself available for every single person who follows me and I’m starting to set boundaries which helps a lot. So yeah, its not a really struggle to write or capture him. But dealing with the things I’ve allowed into my rp life that I don’t like or agree with .. is a big oof.

tagged by: @murdcck

tagging: @twistedwit, @matchedrage , @ahbutimavillain, @trickstercaptain, @whisperedreveries , @valorsworn , @copiesofher, @denydefeat + anyone else who wants to ! tag me!!

[themattress]

OUAT AND ME: SEASON 4

Story - The story for the first half of the season is the Frozen Saga and the story for the second half is the Operation Mongoose Saga. The Frozen Saga is about Elsa from Arendelle crossing over into Storybrooke in search of her sister Anna, bonding with Emma in the process and helping her face another Snow Queen who has a secret connection to both of them, while the Operation Mongoose Saga is about heroes and villains alike searching for the elusive author of Henry's storybook so that he can give them their happy endings.

The Frozen Saga is noteworthy for being the last time that OUAT was big in the mainstream, due to the ubiquitous nature of the Disney phenomenon it was capitalizing on not even a year after its release in theaters. And despite the initial apprehension of many, it's actually the Frozen elements that are the strongest part of this story. The flashbacks tell an interconnecting tale serving as the backstory of the present-day events much like the flashbacks of the Dark Curse Saga did, making excellent use of both Frozen and OUAT's established mythology. And the present-day story is all about the unexpected yet perfectly natural bond between Emma and Elsa, and it's honestly one of the strongest depicted friendships the show has ever had. The way the two of them are further linked through the Big Bad is also ingenious, bringing about a great feeling of cohesion to the narrative.

In fact, rewatching this arc after Frozen 2, it's kind of funny how I actually prefer it as a sequel to the original movie than the actual sequel! Like Frozen 2, this arc deals with why Elsa and Anna's parents left on their fateful voyage, the discovery of a secret from their mother's side of the family, a revelation of what the source of Elsa's power is, Elsa making peace with herself while Anna learns to be more independent and ends up marrying Kristoff, and a location called the Enchanted Forest. But it does so in a way that feels more true to the characters from the original film and avoids all of the pratfalls that Frozen 2 stumbled into. There's no over-its-head political message, no sisterly separation ending, and no Olaf.

Unfortunately, there are two subplots that put a damper on things. The first subplot starts off well enough, with Rumpelstiltskin returning to his former villainous glory as he sneaks and schemes and manipulates his way through a plan to obtain the power of the Sorcerer's Hat of Fantasia fame, but it sadly fails to stick the landing in a way that matches the build-up and there end up being no lingering consequences to it when there really should have been. The second subplot is horrendous, focusing on the increasingly skeevy romance between Regina and Robin Hood while also pushing Regina forward on a ridiculous quest to find the Author of Henry's storybook. Why? She believes some cosmic rule is preventing her from having a happy ending  because she was written as a villain in the book (and not because, y'know, she was actually a villain in the past), and if she's rewritten as a hero she thinks that will change. Yes, that is the absurd idea that this whole subplot is founded upon, and the fact that everyone goes along with it as if there is an ounce of logic behind it is cringe-inducing.

Sadly, that subplot ends up becoming the plot of the Operation Mongoose Saga, which on the one hand gives Season 4 more connection between its two arcs than Season 3 had, but on the other hand it's so fucking stupid. Now, whenever it's Rumple leading around his villainous team, "the Queens of Darkness", to find the Author before the heroes can, things are fun and watchable in spite of the plot's stupidity. But whenever it's Regina and Robin's continued relationship angst or a horrendous new subplot about Snow and Charming having secretly been villains in the past by causing Maleficent to lose her child, it's tiresome and insulting. The finale, a two-parter actually named "Operation Mongoose", is highly enjoyable, but it can't fully wash away the taste of what came before it....or what it sets up to come after it.

Characters - Heroes and villains everywhere, and not always where you expect.

* Remember how in Season 3, Emma had a great character arc in the Neverland Saga but then it came to a halt in the Wicked Saga until the two-part season finale finally picked it up and resolved it? And that the Wicked Saga did her dirty by building her up as the only one who could defeat Zelena only for Regina to defeat her instead? Season 4 does kind of a repeating of these problems, except this time around they are a lot more glaring.

For most of the Frozen Saga, Emma has a great arc that's essentially her and Elsa's shared journey toward self-love; learning from each other to accept themselves and their innate powers without having to always rely on the approval of a loved one. But then, after a huge broo-ha-ha is made about how Emma must be the one to defeat the Snow Queen....she doesn't, and Anna barges in to help the Snow Queen see the error of her ways before Emma can lift a finger. She isn't even the one to save her own boyfriend from Rumple afterward, Belle does it instead. It makes Emma look like the definition of a Boring Failure Heroine.

And things don't improve for her in the Operation Mongoose Saga. Her roles are being subservient to Regina in spite of the abuse Regina had thrown her way in the previous arc, being unreasonably angry at her parents for keeping a secret from her, being vilified for daring to kill a heinous villain in defense of her son, going back and forth between being a friend or an enemy to her "dark half" Lily, and being hyped as the key to restoring reality to the way it was in the season finale...only for Regina, yet again, to end up taking that role away from her. I think it was Disney's insistence that Emma be tied to Elsa and have that arc in the Frozen Saga, because Adam and Eddy clearly couldn't care less about her.  

* Snow and Charming....SIGH. In the Frozen Saga, Snow is the new mayor of Storybrooke...until the Operation Mongoose Saga, where she suddenly isn't anymore and Regina takes up the mantle again. Through both arcs, Snow reaches new levels of bad motherhood toward Emma while continuing to coddle Regina, which is not touching, it's creepy. Charming, meanwhile, is revealed to have been a long-haired coward during his shepherd days and owes his bravery and swordsman skills to Anna, which neuters just about any coolness he ever had. And then, of course, there's the egg-napping subplot from the Operation Mongoose Saga, where Snow and Charming are revealed to have stolen the egg containing Maleficent's baby, transferred Emma's darkness into it while Emma was still in Snow's womb, and then sent it away in a portal. All because of some nebulous prophesizing and interference from Isaac. And this revelation means, according to the show, that they were villains all along and thus all this time have been pious hypocrites who just do things the easy way rather than the right way. Doesn't Regina look so much better in comparison to them now? Because that's clearly the intent behind this fucking writing decision. Character assassination at its finest.

* Henry sucks, Henry sucks, Henry.....doesn't suck? Yes, for most of the season Henry is lamer than he's ever been, still being treated like a precocious kid character even though Jared Gilmore has clearly entered puberty. But then he ends up as the leading character of the season finale, and shockingly rises to the occasion. It concludes with him becoming the new Author, and this marks a turning point in Henry's character that has been a long time coming, which I will go more into detail about when I talk about the next two seasons.

* This is the season where Regina officially crossed the line into Mary Sue territory. She decides that Marian's reappearance means that she is being punished for being a villain...not because she actually was a villain, but because some Author dared to write her as a villain in a storybook, and that he needs to rewrite her into a hero so that she can get the happy ending that she's entitled to. And in true Mary Sue fashion, she warps the plot and characters around her so that nobody objects to this idea and instead whole-heartedly embrace it.

Every good guy in Storybrooke fights to help Regina get her happy ending, constantly repeating that she "deserves it" and has "come so far" even as she continues to act in ways contradicting that notion. In the end, she doesn't even need the Author since she gets Robin Hood back, gets the adulation of being a "Light Savior" who restores reality back to normal, and has Emma sacrifice herself to the Dark One curse in order to save Regina and her "hard-earned" happy ending. I think the scene that best displays the problem is in the flashback of the episode "Mother", where we see Regina in the past remorselessly murder a groom on his wedding day for no good reason, then immediately go cry over Daniel's grave since this is the anniversary of his death, and then we cut to present-day Regina mention how life always "kicks her in the teeth". Yeah, I kinda think life kicked that groom in the teeth WAY more. So where the Hell is the Author who's gonna give his poor widowed bride her happy ending?

* Rumple, for the most part, is great in this season. In the Frozen Saga, we see him going back to his Dark Curse Saga roots as he plays the role of the true villainous mastermind behind the female Big Bad, dealing and manipulating his way toward one single objective - in this case being to use the power of the Sorcerer's Hat to "cleave" himself from the Dark One dagger. And in the Operation Mongoose Saga, he steps up as the direct Big Bad who leads a team of other villains in pursuit of the Author, under the promise that he can give them their happy endings. It helps that Robert Carlyle is clearly enjoying himself; that fun is infectious.

Unfortunately, there is a problem: Rumple fails to stick the landing in his last three episodes of both arcs. In the Frozen Saga, his failure to absorb Emma into the Sorcerer's Hat seems to drive him bonkers because he then rips out Hook's heart, relying solely on commanding him to do his dirty work all while ranting and raving repetitively about how when the stars in the sky and the stars in the hat are aligned, he will cleave himself of the dagger and he will kill Hook to do so, and that Hook better enjoy so-and-so because it'll be his last and blah blah blah. It's boring and silly, and Rumple's arrogance as he keeps saying it just makes his failure that much more pathetic. And in the Operation Mongoose Saga, his suddenly revealed heart condition ends up taking its toll on him and he is ultimately unable to mount a final assault against the heroes on his own, requiring the far less impressive Isaac to do so instead. The "Light One" version of him that Isaac overwrites him with manages to put up a fight, but that's not nearly as good. Rumple as the Big Bad should have gone out with a bang, not a whimper.

* Hook remains one of the best characters in the ensemble, forced to reconcile his pirate past with his heroic present in both the Frozen Saga and the Operation Mongoose Saga. In the former, his fears of regressing allow Rumple to manipulate him into servitude, which Hook ends up fighting against until Rumple rips out his heart. In the latter, he contends with the way in which he'd wronged Ursula in the past, and with the help of Ariel (whom he also finally does right by), he is able to rectify his mistake and grant Ursula her true happy ending. I'm not really a big fan of his new modern leather jacket, though. The pirate coat was iconic!

* Following such a good Season 3 performance, Belle looks like she's on track to become even better at the end of the Frozen Saga when she finally sees Rumple for who he is and dumps his ass all the way across the town line. It was a powerful scene with some great lines from Belle, and by all logic it should have been the end of her and Rumple as a romantic pairing. They needed to be done after that, with Belle now being free to develop her character entirely apart from Rumple. But of course, Adam and Eddy would never allow that, so all she does in the Operation Mongoose Saga is date a man she doesn't actually love to soothe her heartbreak, fall passed out on the floor, have her heart stolen by Regina and then have it recovered by Rumple which causes her to inevitably crawl back to him at the end of the finale. As the next seasons will show, this damaged Belle's character beyond repair, turning her into the very Stockholm Syndrome-afflicted abuse victim that stupid detractors of the Disney version always claimed she was. This isn't a love story anymore. It's a horror story.

* Robin Hood is a regular for this season in all but title, being present for many episodes in the Frozen Saga and even getting his own focus episode in the Operation Mongoose Saga. If there was any chance of salvaging this horrendously misused character, it died the moment it showed that he still desired a relationship with Regina even after learning that she was the one who killed Marian, which would have stuck if not for Emma and Hook's time travel adventure. I'm sorry, who does that!? That is not realistic human behavior! And it only gets worse when he ends up deliberately and vocally throwing away his honor code by cheating on Marian with Regina while Marian is frozen solid and could possibly die! Oh, but Marian ends up being Zelena anyway, so all's cool. No! All's not cool! Why did this show make Robin Hood into such a lame character!? It's especially a disservice to Sean Maguire, who's a smooth and funny guy in real life and the Robin Hood he plays utilizes none of his charm.

* And then we have the regular in title only, Robin's former associate Will Scarlet, carried over from Once Upon a Time in Wonderland. Of all the screwed-over regulars the show has had, none can compare with Will Scarlet. He does little of interest in the Frozen Saga except for enticing viewers with various mysteries about who he is, why he's here and what's he up to...and those mysteries get absolutely no pay-off in the Operation Mongoose Saga, where he barely shows up and when he does is mainly just Belle's new boyfriend (whom she scarcely interacts with directly!) so that Rumple can get jealous and more determined to find the Author. In the end, Will Scarlet is a nuisance who has fuck-all to do with anything that's going on in the season, leaving viewers scratching their heads as to why he was included to begin with. I can't believe that in his last speaking appearance, the show actually has him deliver the line "I warn ya, I'm scrappy", to which Rumple replies "All right, Scrappy." It's funny because Scrappy, in the TV Tropes usage of the word, perfectly describes Will here.

So, what went wrong? Well, originally the Wonderland spin-off was meant to take place during Season 2 of the main show, with the originally filmed pilot making this explicit. So Will in Season 4 was to be the Will we have after the Wonderland Saga's conclusion, meaning somehow he'd gone back to Storybrooke and regressed back into a selfish, self-esteem lacking, seemingly heartless thief separated from his true love Anastasia / the Red Queen. Highly unoriginal of Adam and Eddy, but whatever, there were still plans to move forward with him as a character on the main show. But those plans failed to materialize and Michael Socha spent a lot of time on set doing nothing, a miserable experience which he was very vocal about afterward. And what was Adam and Eddy's excuse? "It’s just, you know, there’s just so many…there’s just so many people that it’s like, it’s sometimes hard to do that story and sacrifice Regina’s story. That’s just showbiz." It all comes down to Regina. Of course.

In the end it's for the best that the confirmation of the Wonderland Saga as taking place in Season 2 never happened in the pilot we actually got, since Will's existence in this season only makes sense now if it was happening before the Wonderland Saga rather than after, thus my headcanon will always be that Will's fateful break-in to Granny's was after it closed up on the night "Operation Mongoose" ended on rather than the night of the wraith attack.

* Elsa, Anna, Kristoff, Sven, Hans, Grand Pabbie, Oaken, the Duke of Weselton, and the former King and Queen of Arendelle are all lifted from Frozen to OUAT, and for every character that required an actor they got an actor who perfectly brought the animated movie character to life. They are also written accurately as well, with Elsa naturally being the stand-out given how much she gets to do and the bond she forges with Emma. And then there are the new Frozen characters invented for the show: Elsa and Anna's aunts - the deceased Helga and the icy-powered Ingrid, who is also the Frozen Saga's Big Bad, the Snow Queen. Ingrid, played beautifully by Elizabeth Mitchell, is essentially what Elsa might have become if Anna hadn't been so unconditionally loving toward her - her mind warped by her past pain and trauma, embittered toward all normal people, and willing to cross any moral boundary to find a family and place to belong to. Her connection to Elsa and Anna is perfectly exploited, her interactions with characters like Emma and Rumple are fascinating, and her ending where she realizes the error of her ways and sacrifices her life to reverse the damage she's done is the show's most beautiful, emotional send-offs for a villain since Rumple's death.

* The Queens of Darkness are Rumple's cohorts in the Operation Mongoose Saga who also desire the Author to write them a happy ending. The initial group is the trio of Maleficent, Ursula and Cruella De Vil, and it's later revealed that not-so-dead Zelena is also a member.

Maleficent, in spite of being played competently by Kristen Bauer van Straten and having great fashion sense in both worlds, is the weakest of the initial trio, since she is saddled with the mind-bogglingly stupid eggnapping subplot. Ursula isn't actually reflective of the Disney version of the character (Regina already did that in Season 3) and is more like a dark version of Ariel in regards to her backstory. She also isn't nearly as villainous as her peers and naturally she is redeemed rather quickly and easily as a result. And then there's Cruella De Vil, who is not a fairy tale character so everyone feared how she'd come off. Well, she's not only the best of the trio but one of the show's best villains, period. Victoria Smurfit looks, sounds and moves like the cartoon character made flesh, backed up by strong writing that makes her both funny and menacing - especially the latter when it comes to her backstory, a twisted little tale that subverts the show's usual "evil isn't born, it's made" mantra HARD.

Zelena.....SIGH. Like I said before, Adam and Eddy were dropping obvious clues that she wasn't really dead at the end of Season 3, which begged the question why they did a fake-out death to begin with. Apparently, it's because of this season's twist where, with almost no foreshadowing whatsoever, Marian is revealed to actually be Zelena in disguise, having traveled back in time with Emma and Hook and then killed the real Marian in order to take her place. She's revealed to then be pregnant with Robin Hood's child (since he slept with her thinking she was Marian...therefore, she raped him) before being hauled right on back to Storybrooke prison again. It's awful writing, salvaged only by Rebecca Mader's performance.

* We get some welcome returning characters this season, including Sydney Glass, Blackbeard, Ariel, Cora, and against all expectations August Booth. There are some interesting new side characters introduced as well, such as warlord Bo Peep (yes, really), Ursula's father Poseidon played by the great Ernie Hudson, and the Sorcerer's Apprentice, keeper of the Sorcerer's Hat and the Author's boss, meaning he naturally plays a major role throughout the season. The Author himself is Isaac Heller, played by Patrick Fischler, and he turns out to be a surprise villain who abuses his powers to influence events, which an Author is not supposed to do. While I wish he didn't take over the Big Bad position to such a degree in the finale, Isaac is still a very entertaining villain, especially when he's playing off of Regina and Rumple. His sardonic and cynical attitude also make him the perfect foil to Henry.

And then there's this season's biggest waste of a new character: Lilith "Lily" Page. There are three major problems with Lily. First of all, her origin - she's Maleficent's child that Snow and Charming kidnapped, passed all of Emma's natural-born darkness onto, and sent through a portal when she was still in an egg. It's so utterly stupid. Second, she is played by a Latino actress as a child only to have a white actress playing her as an adult. How does that work!? Finally, for all of the build-up she receives, she and her story go absolutely nowhere after she is reunited with her mother. They even make a point of giving her a scene toward the end about wanting to find who her father is, and that never gets followed up on. Even worse, the next story arc is all about Emma going dark, which Rumple had been trying to make happen throughout this arc and Lily was linked to, and yet Lily, her literal dark half, ISN'T involved!? Honestly, Mal from Descendants made a better "daughter of Maleficent" character! MAL!

Atmosphere - The Frozen Saga's atmosphere is very...Frozen-y; I don't really know another word to describe it. At least whenever it's focused on the Frozen characters. The Rumple subplot gets progressively darker to the point of becoming unpleasant, while the Regina subplot is just romantic and existential angst 24/7. These atmospheres don't fit in with the Frozen one at all, which is a testament to how Adam and Eddy are going the wrong direction with this show. Once the Operation Mongoose Saga happens, the atmosphere of the show goes insane, flip-flopping back and forth between family fairy tale wholesomeness to dark and disturbing and depressing to campiness on a level that feels off even for this show.

Episode Quality - For the most part, the Frozen Saga's episodes are perfectly fine and entertaining, although stretching out the 8th episode, "Smash the Mirror", into a two-parter was a horrible idea that cost the show terribly in the ratings. The only two standouts of badness are the 5th episode, "Breaking Glass", which introduces Lily in the flashback story while the present day story is all about Emma just having to sit back and take Regina's verbal abuse in spite of doing nothing to deserve it, and the final episode, "Heroes and Villains", whose only redeeming quality is the scene with Rumple and Belle at the town line, which doesn't even have lasting consequences. For the rest of the episode, we either spend time giving the Frozen cast a rushed, underwhelming send-off, having Rumple continue to abuse Hook while none of the idiot heroes catch on, fixating even more on Regina's angst as she has to let Robin Hood leave town in order to "save" "Marian", and watching a stupid Rumbelle-based flashback introducing the Queen of Darkness trio. In short, the episode is more the start of the Operation Mongoose Saga than it is the end of the Frozen Saga, which feels like a slap in the face to the last thing that made this show relevant to the mainstream.

And the Operation Mongoose Saga's episodes....actually got a lot better on a rewatch!? Don't get me wrong, this story arc is BAD. But when you detach yourself emotionally from the show and its characters, it becomes So Bad It's Good. It's as if the entire saga is Isaac's fanfiction; after all, it truly got started in "Heroes and Villains", and that's the name of Isaac's book in the "Operation Mongoose" two-part finale. Some episodes are unironically fun: "Darkness on the Edge of Town", "Poor Unfortunate Soul" and "Sympathy For the De Vil", but the other episodes are also fun when you just embrace how batshit crazy this whole story is and just enjoy watching how these poor actors are struggling to make something out of the material, and it's just as much fun when they fail as it is when they succeed. "Heart of Gold", the Robin Hood focus episode that reveals the Marian = Zelena twist, is one I have a soft spot for, because between Mader and Carlyle's acting, the scene of that reveal is hilarious.

Overall -  Season 4 is basically the inverse of Season 2. Whereas Season 2 was horribly structured but a lot of strong material in either writing or acting was able to make it stronger than the sum of its parts. Season 4, on the other hand, has a solid structure with two inter-connected story arcs, but the material gets so increasingly shoddy that it doesn't matter. Until Seasons 6 and 7 came along, this was definitely the weakest season the show had to offer. If you don't mind a So Bad It's Good quality, then you should stick with the entire thing. But if you only want something that's actually good, then just watch all of the Frozen material.

[celticheartedfangirl]

My OUAT Rewatch -- S6E2 -- A Bitter Draught

Link to Rewatch Review and Ranking archive

Before we dive into this episode, I want to start a new game that I believe we’ll be playing in almost every episode this season.  The title of this game?

What the Fuck is Emma Wearing??????

There’s really no commentary here -- just a screen cap following the title of the game.  What else is there to say?  Perhaps Emma as a Sister Wife is an Untold Story that is now being played out?  

I’m half tempted to take all of the screen caps I make of Emma’s unfortunate S6 wardrobe, and then make one big post of them at the end with Red Carpet-esque commentary on each item.  Would anyone be up for that?  

So funny story . . . . . . . . I really didn’t recall much about this episode, probably because I went into a full-on rage the minute that BELLE MOVED ONTO HOOK’S FUCKING SHIP!!!!  

Because yes, that’s where a pregnant woman needs to live . . . . . on the smelly 300-year old vessel of a sociopath who tried to murder her FOUR FUCKING TIMES!!!!!!

Some 2016 commentary on this bullshit:

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/151489420332/i-cant-believe-i-have-to-say-this-again

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/151264768227/bookwormsandbroomsticks-why-the-fuck-is-hook

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/151263947722/why-the-fuck-does-she-forgive-hook-so-easily

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/151286205217/this-is-the-sad-sad-realization-i-have-come-to

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/151358579772/but-seriously-does-belle-even-know-all-that-rumple

Also, Hook’s “apology” was really all about HIM and HIS pain but hey -- details, schmetails, right?

Ah, the beginnings of Golden Queen.  I will admit -- I laughed OUT LOUD when this shit happened.  Because how stupid is this?  How ridiculously out of character and dumb is this?  Because Eddy Kitsis someone sat in the writers room and was like “Hey lets make Rumple and the Evil Queen a thing even though we’re in season 6 and Rumple and Regina have had how many scenes together and that’s NEVER been implied before!” 

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/151265699907/never-in-one-hundred-years-did-i-think-golden

The Count of Monte Cristo stuff -- I wonder how hard Dumas spun in his grave over that one.  

I will say, Lana is fabulous in this episode.  Both versions of her.  But there’s just . . . . so much ridiculous.  

Also, isn’t it lovely that Killybunny supports Emma getting therapy from Archie?

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/151263294832/you-know-we-never-did-find-out-who-the-poor

https://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/151251949962/mel35-its-sweet-that-h00k-supports-emmas

Points tally:

40 points to start

5 points for Swan Queen

10 points deducted for Hook and Zelena

10 points deducted for OOC Belle

10 points deducted for the Belle and Hook crap

I’ll give 12 points for Lana -- she’s really knocking it out of the park 

Sorry, gotta dump 25 points for the start of GQ and the Belle living on Hook’s ship bullshit.  There was literally NOWHERE ELSE for her to live?  Under the troll bridge would have made more sense than this shit, which is literally done to a) prop up Killy and b) create Rumbelle drama.  Because it sure as hell isn’t being done cause it MAKES SENSE!

Total points:  2

Follow #celtichearted OUAT ranking tag for more to come!

[shadowdianne]

Ok people. Time has come. Let’s be ominous and extra on main

So the order for me posting all my WIPS at once will probably be.... the order in where I finish doing all the editing. I’m currently in my last prompts. I’ll still answer the ones I recieve by the end of the week if there is anyone feeling like sending me some.

Aside from that ...

A few months ago I posted a really rambling text about me leaving the SQ fandom writer wise after the SuperNova was over. In the way it’s over once we all put the fics where they will, later on, be revealed. The full explanation of why I’m doing this is even more rambly than the one I gave and is full of nuances that I’ve talked about a little bit with a few of you.

However, I want to say something about it either way. Because words are the way I communicate the most with. And that’s something that I guess is obvious about myself in a myriad of different ways; not only with my fics.

As I’ve said a few times before, SwanQueen was not my first fandom. If I need to pin it to the moment when I actively began to search for fandom-related things, of how I first stumbled into fics and what that entailed…

Going really back in time my first fandom experience was with Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura. Yup, that. I was really into anime back in the day and, don’t ask me how, I stumbled into a website that no longer exists that had these pages upon pages on something people called “fics”.

It was around the same time I was building my own sexual identity so you can imagine the mess; I devoured those fics. Most of them were not even good. Most of them had some questionable themes thrown around. Most of them had language on them that I needed a few years until I realized that was hurtful. But some others taught me what “angst” meant, what “hurt/comfort” was, why “fluff” was about or why “smut” at my tender age of 12/13 was something I wasn’t entirely grasping.

Again, I devoured those fics, I searched for more, I found livejournal and ffnet. By the time I started fully diving into fanfiction livejournal was slightly abandoned so at the end I focused entirely on ffnet and from there… Pretty Cure (another anime) Strawberry Panic and the even more dubious Kannazuki no Miko followed. I found some amazing writers I still follow today and whose stuff I will forever adore on MaiHime/MaiOtome and, eventually, Kim Possible. I still didn’t write though. Probably because my English at the time wasn’t the best, my writing voice in Spanish was barely a murmur and while I had always been the “weird kid who likes to write poetry and if you ask her nicely she will write you a story on the spot” I had never truly considered… writing and posting on the internet.

Funny thing is that this kind of things are like that and those who are content creators will probably understand that: You NEED to create. So, eventually, slightly older, and full on the whole Twilight era, I wrote a very… cringey fic. And then another. And another. And another.

At first I didn’t know shit about editing. My actual first review told me I was horrible at writing, that I was a mess, that I should stop. But my second review told me: “Hey, if you do this and that on the editing process it will help you and this will be more readable.” And I followed that comment. I eventually became friends with that second reviewer but, as life tends to be, I lost contact with her years ago. I still hope she is doing ok though.

Eventually, I started working, if working is something that one can say about writing a chapter in 20 minutes and throw it every Wednesday while your mother is at work, not monitoring what you are doing and you have the internet for yourself back when the internet went through the phone, in a multichaptered story. It is in Spanish, it is awful, characterization is horrible… but it also made me meet the person that became a very important person. And still will be for that younger version of me. 

From twilight and the occasional writing on the HP fandom with the Hermione/Ginny pairing [Yeah, I wonder what younger me would think of my current main pairing on that fandom] I “graduated” to Glee. Lots and lots of Glee.

And then I stopped. Completely. Not a peep from me. Not a word, not a line. For over a year.

I was a fan and a shipper, however, of this little show called Once Upon a Time. I started watching in the pilot, in a very shoddy link a friend sent me over gmail. I fell in love with the characters but while I loved them I couldn’t… or wouldn’t really, put myself into writing. At the time my English was slightly better but my confidence levels were even lower than currently are. And the ones who have talked to me can safely say how horrible I am at taking compliments.

Yet, I had a very meaningful conversation, one I don’t know if she remembers still, in where I was told: Writing is you. If you want to write… like you did when we first met, why don’t you do it? I tried with a wip that is still there, buried beneath other stories now, that I never fully took off. And then I said fuck it and wrote several others, badly written, even worse characterized, but ones that helped me say… why not.

Disney World Family Business (in case there’s even someone here who read that mess) comes from there. Interview with the (Evil) Queen does too. Dancing Ring (who I’ve seen people roasting me over it and it’s fine because it was awful) was too. Texts on the cloud was there too, Coffee Black News… Eventually, I wrote a fic I’ve erased since then called The Holiday. Over 2k per chapter every day. I did it under a month.

It was… interesting. It was exhilarating. It was magical in many ways. And I had my favorite writers of course. Those who I followed religiously. Who I absolutely admired. And who I, to this day, still admire. And I even get to call them friends now which my younger self would probably be having a meltdown about now xD

I had opened my tumblr account way before that but I had never truly used it. I didn’t know how. Eventually, though, I dusted it off. I put some cringey theme there and I posted, after being sent a couple of random prompts here and there over ffnet pm’s the first “prompts anyone?” post I ever did.

It’s funny because now I’m a tease but the first time I asked for prompts I did it asking for words that I promised I’d make a smut ficlet out of them.

Words of Desire was born. Is, to this day, the one I feel cheekier about. Even if the writing is awful xd I even got my ffnet account in the line of “am I going to get deleted?” after I posted a story called “Lips”

Why I’m writing all of this you guys probably don’t care about? Because that post led to another. And another. And another.

Point is. I felt drunk on the sudden realization I could still tell stories. And so I kept doing it. At some point I opened my a03 account. Don’t remember exactly when in this story but I was crossposting some of my stuff at some point bother in ffnet and a03 so… who knows really. And then I kept asking for prompts. Or I got them asked. And so I did.

And I met other writers, and other content creators. And I loved it. I absolutely loved watching OUAT and then shit on the show and then create fix it fics at 3am on a Sunday. And I learnt about the narrative process outside class. How fanfiction truly is its own genre. I started developing my own ideas. I started looking at books, at people, at places around me with a critical eye I later on developed further to be able to specialize myself in literature. Because, at the end, that’s what I minored in.

I had roleplayed, I had written conjoined narratives. But fic writing at the scale SwanQueen was during the OUAT was still airing was something else. It still is in a way, but different now. And I think those who were around during the fucking show that basically did us a lot of bad in many ways was a different approach that currently is.

During those years not everything was good of course. I hit several walls, I didn’t have the ability to create the stories I wanted. It is not the reason why I’m leaving, I’ve spoken about the reasons -plural- with some of you. So I won’t bother you all more than I’m already doing.

 I still love these ladies. I still don’t know how I will open a doc and not write their names. Maybe I relapse from time to time, who knows. Yet, the constant feeling of not being enough, of not being good enough, has devoured pretty much all my creative juices.

I was talking a few months ago with a writer I absolutely adore and I can’t tell her this enough and we were talking about writer’s block. And she said something that is devastatingly true. “You don’t have a creative block now. You’ve had it for a long time now.”

And I didn’t even hesitate when I answered “Yes. I know.”

How do you have a block when you keep posting? Well. By choosing safer options, options you know you will do on autopilot, without emotion even if you know you should be feeling it. And while writing is part of who I am and a huge part of my own emotional stability the fact that I simply cried when I saw the numbers and the stats while being bombarded with anons that I deleted most of them the second I got them… well. It’s far too much I guess.

I love SwanQueen. And to those of you who I’ve created a friendship over the years with I’m not leaving tumblr and I’m not walking out on you. I’m remaining here. You guys are going to need to do more than this to get rid of me Xd

But I do need that. Otherwise I will keep picking safer options, options that I know will take me shorter and shorter time for me to write. And that’s not quality. And not what I want to write. Because while I love writing about them the pressure and the fear and the rejection and the many other little details have outweighed the good. 

Regina is a stubborn woman. No matter what fic you guys are reading or writing. I’m a little bit like her in that department Xd

I’ve finished my wips and I gave myself a few months after that first post so I could create closure and, you know, give you all the best I could do. I felt more relaxed at having a date set. I still feel dread at losing my ability to write now that, probably, the number of prompts will be smaller. But I hope I will still get news from you all. And don’t be mistaken. Me not writing doesn’t mean me not reading. I’ll be actually able to read more so expect lots and lots of fic recs on my side and comments on those fics. So hey, everyone wins.

To those anons, those gatekeepers.

I hope you all wake up one day and realize you are alone in the pit you’ve created for yourselves.

To fellow content creators: There’s always this game I play, on trying to find those headcanons that are truly yours, the ones that repeat themselves on every fic. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a headcanon per se. It can be a word, a special mannerism. I treasure those. I often link you to those in my mind when I’m thinking about you all. Thanks for creating. And thanks for being you.

To everyone really: It has been a few amazing years. Thank you all.

VIVA LA SWAN QUEEN

-Dianne out.

[sieben9]

“the black fairy” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

Wow, you really weren't kidding about this being one hell of a ride. ::pokes shattered remains of my heart:: Good thing I don't need that one, huh?

All joking aside, I loved this episode so much. I mean, yes, I do have some issues with specific bits, but overall it was 40 minutes of a good script, performed wonderfully, especially by Robert Carlyle, who should be legally forbidden to ever cry on screen again. (I am kidding, he is fantastic.)

More under the cut. It's mostly gushing, to be honest. Except about Blue. Screw Blue. Also, screw the Black Fairy, but that's nothing new.

Alright, before I get into the whole Rumple-related bit of the episode (which is also most of the episode, obviously), I just wanted to mention the amazing snark-off/witch-off in front of Granny’s with its tonally very appropriate ending.

can I call it the zucchini-mobile?

It was perfect. I loved it. Regina being about 90% unimpressed with the Black Fairy's trash talk and being just about ready to tear her apart in the middle of the road? Perfect.

And yes, Zelena's timely intervention via dubious looking car was hilarious and I laughed out loud. This whole scene was good

In fact, the whole subplot was surprisingly funny, considering what went on. But the somewhat dark humour of the characters' lines and the excellent delivery by all actors really made it work. Special mention goes to the "put on your Mayor Pants"--"excuse me?" exchange, because, just... excellent comedic timing. Well done, that.

And another honourable mention goes to Snow’s very belated realisation that yes, you should all have safewords! Like… someone gets impersonated roughly every other week, and now is when you figure that out? I mean, better late than never, but damn, this was pretty late, guys. Did none of you read Harry Potter even once?

Honestly, I despair of you human disasters, sometimes.

Over in the flashback:

too tiny! this is too tiny a person for me to deal with!

What do you mean “he’s the Saviour”??

Or “a” Saviour, as the title is clearly not unique or even exclusive at any single point in time. Still, that was one hell of a wham line. I so want the conversation where he and Emma talk about the fact that he basically “made” his successor/replacement. I know I’m not getting it (with about 98% certainty), but I can dream, right?

speaking of which…

And one of the reasons I want the conversation is that this episode reminded me how much I loved Emma’s and Rumple’s interactions back in the early seasons. These two are so similar, yet so different in a few crucial aspects that make them clash in the most interesting ways. It’s fantastic. Rumple going “nope, I just brought you because I didn’t want to do this alone and didn’t want to risk Belle I don’t want you starting shit in the waking world”, and Emma bantering with him, because well, she’s here anyway, so why not go along with it. Or Emma pushing him to confront his fear and deep-seated hurt about being abandoned by his mother. The “we are bad at being vulnerable” line, and the fact that she never once judged him for being afraid of his past, but showed understanding and compassion and, ugh, damnit, why can’t this be the show every week?

Just an aside: I don’t have a clear enough recollection of all the prior episodes, but I think this might be only the second time the flashback is actually integrated directly into the episode. As in, something the characters experience themselves. And I’m hesitant to count the first, because that wasn’t a flashback, that was time travel. (Meaning the 3B finale)

Anyway, it was a neat little touch, and I liked it a lot, even if the actual content hurt my heart.

Like this:

I just keep thinking that this is the first time he’s met his son on actually equal terms. No lies, no mistrust, no missing heart to force them apart… and it was beautiful and perfect and I loved it, but it was also sad, because the whole situation is incredibly fucked up. Even if the Black Fairy didn’t have his heart, there’s the matter of the 28 years she stole from Gideon and his parents. Like Belle said, they’re not getting those back, and just… ugh. Pain. Lots of.

And that is why I still don't find Fiona sympathetic. Not as she is currently, because... yeah, she might have had the best intentions, but the road to hell and all that. She kidnaps children to enslave and torture them. That's just on its own level of evil, right next to Pan, which... damn, Rumple, do you need another hug?

I feel like there should be more hugging

Like I said: she’s only more sympathetic than Pan in that she at least had selfless intentions to start with, even if they brought her to the place where she is now. With Blue’s help.

Yeah, let’s talk about that.

Because from where I’m standing, the story goes like this: to a happy young couple, a child with a great destiny is born. Two fairies visit the couple, to declare that they will watch over this child, because of his great destiny. In the process, though, they reveal that part of the child’s destiny is to die in battle against a great evil and then… basically leave her alone with that. No consolation, no offer to help her deal with the horrible truth, just “oops, I shouldn’t have said that” without further acknowledgment of responsibility. I’m willing to let Red at least partially off the hook, because she had her hands full with damage control, and didn’t realise how far Fiona had gone in her quest to save her son’s life (which makes me think that she hasn’t worked with many parents before, but nevermind that.) And in the end, the mother does find a way: sever her child’s fate, so he will never have to face the evil that she has become. It’s a flawed solution, but it works.

Which is when Blue pushes her through the portal, and then drops the child like a hot potato. In fact, she doesn’t even leave Red behind to watch over the little guy, who is now in the care of a father who professed to hate him right in front of their noses. Like… they were in the room. There’s no way they didn’t realise what that would mean.

Great fairy-godmothering, right there. And weird how Blue dropped this completely innocent child like a hot potato the moment he was no longer the Saviour (read: "useful to her").

I mean... damn. We're absolutely sure she isn't evil?

And all that doesn’t even go to the way Blue interacted with Rumple afterwards. I would love to go there, but at the same time I doubt this was meant to be part of their history until maybe ten episodes ago, so it feels a little nitpicky. Blue is just not a very good person. Or even a good fairy, if you ask me.

By the way, after seeing all that, doing all that soul searching, after being so painfully reminded of what the Black Fairy did to his son…

…I’m supposed to believe that Rumple would work with her? Yeah, get out, show, nobody buys that. He either already has a specific plan for stabbing her in the back or he’s hanging around until he gets an opportunity. I mean… that whole speech sounded suspicious as hell and I cannot believe neither Belle nor Gideon noticed that, but I’d like to believe that my reading of “I have a plan, please trust me, even if it looks really bad for a while” is the correct one.

The only thing that worries me: if I find this ploy painfully transparent, you would assume the Black Fairy might catch on to it, as well. Yes, the villain gets to hold the idiot ball on occasion, but if she doesn’t… well, let’s say I really hope that was Gideon’s actual heart Rumple gave back to him. He’s pulled that trick himself before, I hope it stays a one-off.

scheming seems to run in the family…

So. I gather next episode is the wedding? Or at least an attempt at a wedding. I’d be extremely suspicious if this goes off without a hitch (no pun intended) because that is not how Drama works. If you want a quiet wedding, have it after the finale. If you want an awesome wedding, have it during. “Before” is just asking for trouble. Look at Snowing!

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT Rewatch 4X15 - Poor Unfortunate Souls

I’ve always loved this episode, but I can’t help but wonder what kind of SOUL searching I’ll need to do as I watch this one again! XD

Eh, he got it.

Anyway, review’s under the cut!

Main Takeaways

Past

So, it goes without say, but Poseidon is the best god! He has a tough commanding voice, a method of carrying himself that commands respect, a solid character arc, and MINIONS! What god doesn’t have minions that dress in uniforms and follow his every order without lip?! Additionally, he’s egotistical, placing his need to have Ursula by his side over her desires to sing and awful in that sense that he’ll buy her love rather than earn it. Basically, this guy has the presence of a god. Characters like Nimue and Merlin would have this similar presence, but as for Hades and Zeus, the other actual gods, they really don’t.

I love the story development in this episode. I’ll get into this shortly, but what makes this episode work so well is that Killian is shown to, despite being a ruthless pirate, be someone who does have the capacity for good in his heart. He’s someone who has that potential to care for another person and to be willing to go to great lengths for them. 

It’s great how Killian doesn’t go full tilt against Ursula upon getting a possibility for his revenge, but he does still retreat to villainy somewhat. The trip to Glowerhaven is now a trip not fully made out of goodness and selflessness, but also for profit as Killian asks for the squid ink before he transports Ursula away.

But the way he does ultimately go evil is interesting too. It’s not about hurting Ursula, but about hurting Poseidon. And that makes it worse -- the action that harms Ursula wasn’t made to hurt her, but out of spite. Ursula is turned in that instance from a friend into a pawn. And it’s interesting how Ursula takes agency in her own story back from both Poseidon and Killian. She stands up to both men and even takes the former’s triton to become a goddess and a villain. It’s so tragic, but also kind of badass!

Present

Killian’s development in this episode is fantastic! I like how we see the difference between the hero clan and Killian. While their first thought, as David puts it, is to “save August,” Killian’s is to find the Dark One’s secrets. And I like how this isn’t a bad plan in comparison to theirs, but different. It’s an important part of dismantling Rumple’s schemes in the long run. I also like how the episode shows subtly how Killian’s mindframe about doing good changes within the scope of the episode. When he first announces how he’ll return Ursula’s happy ending, it’s done out of a need to get revenge on Rumple after he screwed them out of the dagger. Listen to how he talks about helping her: “Now’s the time to use it [his backstory with Ursula].” He also calls her a “creature” and a “monster,” and even when she stands up to him for the name calling, he doesn’t apologize.

And look at the way Killian talks about returning Ursula’s happy ending. Normally, a line like that is given lighter and more triumphant music to accompany it, but not here. That’s because it’s not about wanting to do right by Ursula, but that is the mindset he has to learn. He’s sort of on the right trail -- he even points out to Emma how he’s taking a page out of her book -- but because his mindset is botched, he’s not in the right mindset for when things go wrong. While Snow, David, or Emma would try to take a next step after the shell doesn’t originally work and assure Ursula that they’ll help her out, Killian doesn’t think of her wants and needs and just demands the information, endangering himself.

Ariel was both a weird choice and the BEST choice to help Killian along his trail to redemption. For one thing, it allows for the real Ariel to finally get some justice after what happened with Killian and Blackbeard and her in season 3. But most importantly, she highlights that getting a happy ending isn’t necessarily dependent on you alignment, but how you go about getting it. And this prompts Killian to ask for help. That asking for help s so important because of how it shifts Killian’s perspective from wanting to help Ursula for himself to wanting to help Ursula for her own good. That’s how a hero thinks. And it turns out that when he starts thinking that way, he’s not bad at doing good at all!

“If Gold did to me what he did to Hook, I’d want to shove that dagger through his heart too.” I kind of hate a lot of this show’s approaches to anger. Killian’s pissed -- and Emma’s pissed for him -- that Rumple took advantage of the growing trust between himself and Belle in order to reclaim his power, and now the entire town is in danger because of it. This line is treated as a way to foreshadow the possibility of Emma going dark, but honestly, it’s just anger. It’s a valid emotion and in from here until the end of the series, that anger tends to be framed as something that’s not allowed to happen, and the show is worse off for it. Is the agner a touch excessive? Arguably, but given how personal this crime was, I can get that it reached that extent. And Emma even elaborates on that point immediately afterwards.

All Encompassing

Out of all of the episodes where Killian screws things up in the past, but rights things in the present, this I feel is one of the best ones. Killian’s not heartless in either segment, his actions aren’t too bad that they can’t be made right by the events of the episode, and Killian’s approach has to change in regards to his own morality and motivations, which it does.

So, let’s talk about Ursula. On one hand, we never get to see or even hear about any of her villainy and that undermines a lot of her presence in the series. Despite all of the power that she supposedly has, it’s never used to any villainous effect. Because of that, to some extent, she’s less of a villain in a lot of way and more of a vessel for Killian and Rumple. And that’s not really fair. That said, I do think that her character development in this singular episode is quite substantial and in a way, redeems Ursula’s character. She’s given a clear and concise motivation for her villainy as well as a redemption that makes emotional sense. She’s tragic and unique in a lot of ways and her characteristics in both the past and present, despite that lack of villainy, make for a three dimensional character.

Stream of Consciousness

-I love the callback in the opening to both the source of Killian’s apprehension over mermaids from “The Heart of the Truest Believer” and to “The Little Mermaid.”

-I like the design for Ursula’s grotto. Sure, it’s probably like the show’s final Rumbelle scene where it was designed in a minimalist way by painting the set all black, but just as it was there, it’s pretty!

-I like the allusion as Ursula listens to classical music instead of torturing August and only begrudgingly joins Cruella at Cruella’s behest that Ursula is not all that interested in being a baddie.

-I love the clear BS’ing yet improvising skills that August puts on display here!

-”Well it wouldn’t be the first time he lied to my face.” Regina, get Elsa back here because Rumple gave August a BURN! XD

-I do appreciate that Emma points out how fucked up it was to steal a child! It’s not as far as this conflict should have gone, but it’s a good step.

-Between the magical eye drops, giving David half of her heart, Cora’s possession, all the breastfeeding she must be doing, and now this, Snow must be SO tired of sharing her body! XD

-I also appreciate how Regina’s first bit of dialogue was to tell Emma that Pinocchio was fine and what happened.

-”Who? Me?” This is some perfect comedy right here! I love the slow buildup and the way every character’s head is given its own individual moment to turn to Killian. It is a perfect punchline!

-”Even when I didn’t think he could deceive me any more, he found a way.” I feel so bad for Belle with this line. She’s so tired of being tricked by Rumple and now even trusting in those that she wants to is dangerous.

-”Then your name would’ve been written across it.” …”When you can see the future, there’s irony everywhere.”

-I LOVE this rendition of “Mysterious Fathoms Below.” It’s so soothing and beautiful. It feels both like a lullabye and what a group of sailors would want to hear after a long day, and that’s an interesting balance to hit.

-I love the costumes of Poseidon and his underlings. I like the beach-y things the cover the tops of their gold and their hats that look like conch shells!

-”It’s unwise to insult the size of a pirate’s ship.” Wouldn’t be OUAT without the occasional dick measuring contest.

-I actually totally forgot about that dream sequence Regina had. So, now that I remember again AND have the context of the Evil Queen arc, I think that arc either alluded to a fear of Regina’s evil impulses threatening to separate her from Robin or foreshadowing of jealousy from the Evil Queen and that’s Wish Robin that’s there.

-I love the absolute look of HORROR on August’s face as he’s turned back into a puppet.

-I’m starting to realize that anyone with a “code” in this series has a code that is weak as fuck!

-Thankfully, that nice swim will be UNDERcut by some FIN-terference, so he’ll SEA you later! XD

-Snow hitting Cruella over the head with a frying pan from back of the room was perfect! Not only is it so funny, but it was a great reminder of just how tactical Snow can be!

-Awww! That August and Emma reunion was soooo sweet! We really see that friendship they had come fully back and it’s honestly so heartwarming.

-I loved Poseidon’s apology to Ursula. There are no excuses and he really gets into how badly he screwed both her and himself over, and not in an egotistical way.

Favorite Dynamic

Ursula and Killian. I like the framing of their dynamic. Killian is very much a ruthless pirate and Ursula is clearly defined as someone who can break through that thanks to the peace her voice brings him. It’s an unconventional, but organic friendship. And I like how it’s not just Ursula providing Killian with things, but also Killian providing Ursula with emotional validation. Ursula doesn’t seem to have many friends (which makes sense given how she’s the daughter of a god), and that’s implied by just how much Killian’s words and promises impact her. You can see how badly she’s needed to hear that her way of honoring her mother hasn’t been wrong and that despite what Poseidon says, she’s doing the right thing. And in return, Ursula gives Killian peace and a chance at some level of redemption. Because of her voice and mercy, he’s able to see some good inside himself and offer her help. And until his revenge gets in the way, and he starts treating Ursula like a pawn, he holds himself to that.

Writer

Andrew Chambliss and Dana Horgan are in control today! And they did a good job! This is just a cohesive episode. Unlike “The Apprentice,” these guys knew exactly what they wanted to do with Killian’s character and did exactly that. They made his character consistent and kept his feelings throughout the episode clear. This is an enormous change from the Killian who didn’t even have a distinguished facial reaction to being forced to hold an old man hostage while he was sucked into a hat. And they still managed to put in nuanced discussions about what it means to think like and be a hero. Writing decisions like that make the kind of material that define a character and these guys brought their A-game to both segments.

Rating

Golden Apple. While I had my nitpicks, this was an amazing episode. Killian’s character development as he descends to and rises from villainy is really well done, the episode’s supporting characters are great, and Ursula is for the most part very three dimensional.

Flip My Ship - The Home of All Things “Shippy Goodness”

Captain Swan - “Don’t you know, Emma? It’s you.” I love these guys. I love how they value each other. I love how in this episode, Killian calls Emma his happy ending and the slow, meaningful reaction to that including the kiss. I love how Emma stands up to David when he even considers that Killian could be evil again. She really believes in him and trusts that he can do the right thing and get them the information they need.

-----

Thank you all for reading!!! Shout out to @watchingfairytales and @daensarah!!

Season 4 Total (131/230)

Writer Scores: Adam and Eddy: (34/60) Jane Espenson: (20/40) David Goodman and Jerome Schwartz: (38/50) Andrew Chambliss: (32/50) Dana Horgan: (16/30) Kalinda Vazquez: (22/40) Scott Nimerfro: (14/30) Tze Chun (8/20)

Operation Rewatch Archives

[pepperony3000-archive]

Ayyy, Once Upon a Time. Let's do a throwback, lol.

Oh wow! That’s such a throwback! xD

You’re trying to make me nostalgic and annoyed all at once, aren’t you? ;)

my favorite female character: Regina Mills. Literally the only reason I didn’t unfollow every single OUAT blog I used to follow. Lana Parrilla is a goddess among women, and she plays Regina so beautifully. Plus, Regina in season 1 was the second best written character (which is saying a lot because they were all actually written quite well in season 1), and the only one with semi-consistent writing in the following six years of bullshit.

my favorite male character: Nealfire. Fuck the show for killing him off just to appease the rape-culture-apologist CS shippers. Nealfire was literally the most important character, and had so many potential stories and dynamics with him being Henry’s father and Rumple’s son. But ya know... Emma couldn’t date Captain Rape Culture when her obvious true love was still around, so he had to be killed off because whiny idiotic teenagers thought he was ugly. I’m still bitter.

my favorite book/season/etc: Season 1: the only good season. I also quite liked Regina’s arc in season 2.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show): Skin Deep will go down as my favorite OUAT episode I think. It’s the episode that actually made me truly fall in love with the show (as opposed to just being a casual watcher). 

my favorite cast member: Lana Parrilla. She’s so beautiful and such an incredible actress and such a sweet and funny person and I love her.

my favorite ship: Swanfire. They really were perfect together. They were two lost souls who found each other, and they kept on finding each other even when tragedy (and fucking awful writing) kept on pulling them apart. Honestly? Swanfire mirrored Snowing’s “I will always find you” more than the rape-culture ship ever did.

a character I’d die defending: Nealfire. He was done so dirty by the writing and the fandom, just because people decided that MRJ was ugly! And I really absolutely hate everybody for that.

a character I just can’t sympathize with: Captain Rape Culture. Oh sorry... wasn’t his name something like Jonesin’ for a Kill? Oh wait, Killian Jones. Sorry... easy mistake to make.Now this is NOTHING against Colin O’Donaghue, who I really love as an actor. This is 100% about that awfully written (albeit well performed) overhyped overloved and overly awful character. I could write pages about how much I hate him and how badly written he is and how he ruined the show, but I mean... I’ve already salted these fields quite a lot.

a character I grew to love: Charming. Honestly I did love him in the pilot episode because who DOESN’T love a man who will swordfight a dozen men whilst holding a baby? But then I just found him... a bit boring during most of season 1. But he’s genuinely such a sweet and wonderful person, and I really love him.

my anti otp: Captain Rape Culture and Stepford Swan. The literal worst ship in anything ever. Nothing brings about such intense hatred in me than this ship. They literally were only a couple because both actors are hot, even though they have literally ZERO chemistry, he made a horrible rape joke while pinning her to the ground and trying to stab her, called her useless, constantly lied to her... I could go on.And honestly? It’s IMPRESSIVE that this is the ship they went with, since Colin O’Donaghue managed to have AMAZING chemistry with literally everything and everybody he interacted with EXCEPT for JMo, and while I don’t think JMo is a very good actress in the first place... she had better chemistry with a BUNCH of other people. Hell... she had better chemistry with CHARMING than with Captain Rape Culture!I literally hate this ship so much.

No, I’m not at all salty about this show. What on earth made you think that.

Send me a show/movie/fandom

[once-upon-a-ouat]

OUAT Rewatch 1x10 “7:15 A.M.”

Okay, I don’t usually do that, but for this episode I feel the uncontrollable need to review it scene-for-scene because I have something to say about every scene and they were all freaking awesome. That will eliminate the need to point out favorite and least favorite scene in this episode, but I’m keeping the favorite and least favorite lines. With that said, let’s dive right in.

The opening scene with August and Henry built up the suspense as to who August is and what he’s doing in Storybrooke and also served as a set-up for two more scenes throughout the episode. I also loved Regina’s worry as to who that might be. First, Emma came to town and started trouble, and now another person just showed up. You could practically see the cogwheels turning in her head.

The weather forecast we heard as background in the next scene informed us about the storm which played a major role later in the episode. Mary Margaret was very funny in her hurry to go out. I loved how quickly she came up with a lie to tell Emma. We know she’s not that type of person and yet, she lied to her closest friend because she herself knew that what she was doing wasn’t right and didn’t want Emma to know about it.

It was quickly revealed why Mary Margaret was in such a hurry. It’s really sad how desperate she was for even the smallest contact with David. And the fact that he was buying two coffees just made it even worse (there goes OUAT with the details once again). It would’ve been plenty horrible on its own, but seeing David walk up to his car, give one to Kathryn and kiss her cheek was just heartbreaking (and I also felt horrible for Kathryn because I know how this is going to end and that she’ll be hurt). Good thing Emma showed up as the voice of reason. I loved how she didn’t judge Mary Margaret, but also firmly and clearly told her that she had to put a stop to that. She’s understanding and supportive and yet, doesn’t let her friend fall even deeper.

Snow looked hella badass with that spear in that next scene. So she didn’t flee the kingdom? Or did she? I’m a little confused. The parallels between the two timelines were cool though. What I’m not a fan of is Snow’s desire to get rid of her feelings in both realms. I know loving someone when you know there’s no way for you to be together hurts, but that doesn’t mean that you have to erase them from your heart. For me that just doesn’t do a favor to their romance and the idea that it’s the greatest romance ever.

Snow and Rumple’s scene was awesome. I loved the way he used her hair to make the potion ‘personal’ because no two loves are exactly the same. That was such a great idea. I also loved how he said that love is the most powerful magic and then made that look horrifying. Given what we know about his personal experience with love, it just became even sadder. Also, now that we know what he used her hair for, this scene is just more brilliant.

Mary Margaret’s shock when she saw the pregnancy test was heartbreaking but I do have a problem with that scene. David’s words in the cabin and his actions on the whole imply that he and Kathryn don’t even have sex. Why did she think she was pregnant? I loved how Regina had only two lines but managed to make a bitch of herself. Also, I loved that she and Kathryn were shopping together. I think this can count as one of the genuine moments of their friendship and I loved it.

The dialogue between George and David was awesome. You can understand where both of them are coming from and sympathize with them both. I honestly couldn’t pick a side in that scene. The implication that George had loved before was very important to me because in many scenes later on in the show he comes off as heartless and it’s nice to have a reminder that that’s not true.

I love how they used the doves as transitions between scenes several times in this episode. The dove is a symbol of love and they used it to show that Snow and David’s love transcended realms and even the Curse. I think it was genius.

I loved how Snow wanted to help the dove so badly. Especially when she learned that it would be alone for the rest of its life if she didn’t get it to its flock. I feel like she was seeing herself in the dove a little bit and that was super weird, but I love how she was determined to help it. It’s just an animal but she did everything in her power to help it. I also loved how she rejected David’s offer to help her. She practically told him “I’m no damsel in distress”.

I loved the scene between Regina and Emma. It once again showed that the one thing that can make them work together is Henry. It was manipulative on Regina’s part though because August’s ‘interest’ in Henry was not the only reason why she wanted to know about him. She thought that she would use the Savior in order to learn about a potential danger to the Curse. It was brilliant.

I love how the dove landed on Snow’s hand while she was holding the vial with the ‘cure’. The joy on her face when she read the letter was so genuine and heartwarming. Damn that show!

Even faced with the very real danger of the storm and the obstacle of the road being closed, Mary Margaret still didn’t give up on her quest to help the dove. The transition between that scene and the next was just fucking awesome!

I love how Snow quickly figured out a way to sneak into George’s castle, but it doesn’t say anything good about the security of said castle. And just when she was about to reveal herself to David, the guard caught her. I really wanted to scream (but it was 2a.m. so that wasn’t an option).

It was adorable to see Snow so determined to break out of the cell and not wanting to give up. Meeting Grumpy was awesome (so he tried to get back with Nova then?). I just loved how this episode kept portraying love as the worst thing ever (sarcasm, if you couldn’t tell). Holy shit! I had completely forgotten about Stealthy. Damn! That’s one of the best twists on the show. I love how Grumpy decided to get Snow out of there too.

David showed up just in time and thank God. He saved Mary Margaret’s life. It kind of sent her not-a-damsel-in-distress attitude to hell though. Even that way, I’m not mad because she could’ve died or gotten seriously injured, seeing how she wanted to keep going even despite the storm.

Stealthy’s death was pretty heartbreaking (mostly because of Grumpy’s anguish but still) even though we didn’t know anything about him really. I loved how Snow was ready to sacrifice herself to save Grumpy even though they didn’t really know each other that well. That’s really admirable about Snow.

Mary Margaret’s little rant was heartbreaking but I really liked the fact that she decided to get all that out in the open. I also liked the fact that she didn’t let David kiss her but not the reason behind it. If she hadn’t seen that pregnancy test, she would’ve given in. Given her turmoil about David choosing Kathryn over her, it just felt like she didn’t have any self-respect.

I don’t really know what to make of the scene between Emma and August. They really built up the tension as to what’s inside the box and then just showed us. Granted, that didn’t make August any less mysterious. I loved how Emma was calculating if it would be better to let him buy her a drink and learn what’s in the box immediately or just leave it be.

Well, that storm turned out to be awfully convenient. Not only did it stop the flock from departing, but it also gave Mary Margaret and David a chance to talk about their feelings and possibly make some more mistakes. I loved how Mary Margaret pulled her hand out of David’s. Honestly, David’s indecisiveness pisses me off so much. If your feelings for Mary Margaret are so real, then just leave Kathryn and be with her. It’s not that difficult, goddammit!

The scene between George and Snow was intense. We once again saw that George was ready to do whatever it took in order to save his kingdom and I liked that. His plan was also very smart although I’m not really that certain if it would’ve worked out the way he imagined it would. I really loved the part with “He’s not my son”. You could see George’s disappointment because if it were actually James, he wouldn’t have betrayed him like that. In this episode, just like in 1x06, it’s easy to understand where George is coming from. You still don’t support his actions but you see the driving force behind them and that helps you empathize with him. That complexity was later lost and I’m really sad about that.

The scene between Snow and David was so awesome but also heartbreaking. I loved the fact that she let him hug her and hold her hands for as long as possible. She wanted to get as much as she could out of that encounter because she thought it would be the last one. I also loved how she couldn’t make herself say “I don’t love you”. She said it but in parts and she actually told him that she loved him (“Love you”). She quickly came up with a reason why she had come all the way to the palace too. And her face when David couldn’t see her anymore just killed me. And David also started crying. My heart! (That was my favorite scene if you couldn’t tell.)

Kathryn was so insanely adorable. You see how much she wants to make it work but also that David’s behavior hurts her. And yet, she didn’t want to be a bitch about it. She was trying to be understanding. And she wanted them to be a family and have kids but she knew that they weren’t ready and didn’t try to rush it. She wanted to get help and fix what wasn’t working. I just love her so much! And I’ll give credit to David for actually trying in this scene (although he threw it to the wind pretty quickly).

The scene between Snow and the dwarfs was very cute. I loved that after all the statements in this episode that love is horrible, we finally got another perspective. Because yes, it is, and it hurts us in the worst way possible, but that makes us who we are. Also, it was sweet of them to offer her a home and their support.

I loved the quiet scene between Mary Margaret and Emma. It showed that Mary Margaret was trying to be strong and that Emma was there for her and supported her. Their relationship was already so strong that they didn’t need words.

They never showed what made David go after Snow and it just came off as random and odd to me. Ruby’s face when David said “I will always find her” tho. She was like “I ship it”.

Seeing that Snow took the potion broke my heart all over again. And just when hope showed on the horizon. In Bulgaria we have a saying that states that no one can do to you what you’ll do to yourself and I think it fits the occasion. Sometimes we’re our own worst enemy. Grumpy’s face at the end of the scene ruined my life.

I guess they really can’t stay away from each other (Ruby’s face during that scene though). What I hated about that scene was that “She’s not pregnant” was the engine for their kiss. So, yeah, it’s okay to lie to her as long as she’s not pregnant. Way to go! I loved the fact that Regina saw them though (and her face). Even walls have ears... or eyes in this case.

Favorite line: “As wretched as it is, I need my pain. It makes me who I am.” - Grumpy to Snow

Least favorite line: “Come on! I helped you when no one else would.” - Snow to Red

That was just manipulative as fuck and I really didn’t appreciate it. I know Snow was desperate but that was just nasty. Just guilt-trip your best friend. That makes sense!

This episode was so amazing. I just don’t know what to say. Every scene did something for the story or the characters. Everything was on point. They managed to establish a clear difference between David’s two personalities. The acting was awesome. The episode was mind-blowing and I was hooked from beginning to end.

P.S. Sorry for the confusing format of this review. I myself see that this doesn’t really work so I’ll stick to my original format and try to avoid another review like this one at all costs. I just really had things I wanted to discuss from every scene and I’m sorry if it’s scattered or confusing.