#its the making peace with yourself! accepting your role!!

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Sunny my life my love my deranged little puppet from my brain

[starsofang]

CALL OF THE SEA / PART EIGHTEEN

pirate poly!141 x f!reader tw: NSFW, MDNI, violence, fire, illness, depictions of death, be warned as always masterlist

When a group of unhinged pirates invade your small village, you're whisked away from your peaceful home and thrown on to a voyage out at sea. Forced to obtain a new role as their medic, you have no choice but to accept your fate as you join their forces and aid them in their treacherous travels.

Rest didn’t come easy, nor did waking up with agonizing pain flashing through you like a beatdown on repeat with no stop button. Sometime during your rest, you recalled Soap and Gaz returning with the promised pillows, carefully cushioning you in between to ensure you as much comfort as possible, but the memory was fuzzy.

Everything felt a bit surreal, as if you weren’t truly present and the events that unfolded never actually happened. You figured it was your mind attempting to protect you, repressing the pain of the new memories, but it always came back in the form of anguish, your shattered bones shifting beneath the surface of your skin with every subtle movement you dared to make.

There was no use in pretending. It was pure hell, and up until now, you played the role of a strong woman with no fear of walking along a path unknown. You played long enough. The pain was far too much to muster an act of strength.

The room was empty when you woke for the nth time, the barest of sun rays peeking through the small windows and casting the room in a dim glow. The Captain nor the others were nowhere to be found, most likely manning the ship as promised or in their own beds to earn the rest they deserved after seeing a ghost of their past.

Your eyes remained on the ceiling, vision blurring then focusing, in and out. No matter how hard you blinked, the fuzziness wouldn’t relinquish its hold, nor did you have the strength or courage to lift a fist to frantically rub it away.

You hated being alone. After Price left last night, it had felt peaceful—now, it felt torturous, listening to the distant waves clash among each other and having no way of taking your time to breathe in the salty air as they fought against the sides of the ship.

Had he slept last night? Had he rested at all?

You went to open your mouth, to call out for him in hopes of being loud enough, but all that left you was a heavy wheeze, your mouth dry to the bone. You were parched as much as you were weak, and it showed in the way you attempted to inhale a deep breath, only for it to come crashing down on you in the form of an extreme sharp clash to your ribcage.

Everything hurt. The euphoria of your shared kiss with the Captain had long worn off, leaving you sober and miserable.

You were nothing more than a skeleton, or perhaps even an undead from those of the stories you’d heard about as a child. Alive, but not living. That was surely how it felt.

You felt utterly helpless as you laid there, unmoving. Even the lift of your finger felt as if you were lifting the weight of the world. It was all so heavy, your body, mind, and soul.

While you were one to cure the sick, you were never on the other line. There was no one there to coddle you in the way you knew to do with others, nor any treatment that could fix you the way you wanted to be fixed. An immediate recovery was out of sight, and it only grew you more restless, an itch burning beneath your skin.

It was only by a miracle of the universe that just as you were beginning to fight within yourself that the door to the quarters opened, Soap stepping inside with a bowl of something warm, the steam faintly radiating up. He looked surprised to see you awake, making haste in shutting the door and hurrying to the bed.

“Dove,” he chirped, throwing you a smile. You knew immediately he was trying to bring you some light, and for that, you appreciated it. “Yer up early today. Was just bringin’ ye some breakfast to start the day with. Ye hungry?”

Your eyes fluttered at the sight of him, then down to the bowl in his hands. You had no desire to eat, your appetite shot the moment you woke with no relief. Despite the faint grumbling in your stomach, the sight made you nauseous, mouth watering in ways considered unpleasant.

Soap noticed, frowning at your pained expression. He set the bowl down, coming to your aid. “Ye don’t look well. Did ye sleep at all?”

All you mustered was a small hum, lips turning down into your own frown. Your body ached, begging to be stretched from its stiff knots, but you truly felt exhausted. It was taking everything in you to resist moving, fearing more flare ups along your side.

Soap’s hand lifted, carefully resting his knuckles on your forehead. Your skin was clammy and warm, something he took note of, and the skin around your eyes appeared darkened, bags already beginning to form.

“M’sorry for what ye had to deal with,” he apologized sympathetically, brushing a knuckle along your brow bone. “Price has been bustin’ ass to figure out where to take ye. Been out there all night.”

You deflated at that, guilt pulling your heart strings. The last thing you wanted was for them to exhaust themselves for the sake of you, and the helplessness only grew.

“Ach, don’t look so grim, lass. We just want what’s best for ye, can’t have ye all banged up and broken, can we?” he attempted to tease, his smile fading into defeated pout when you gave no reaction. “Does it hurt?”

You let out a heavy sigh through your nose, feeling the tension in your rib cage as you excelled your lung’s usage. You offered a short nod, Soap’s expression only turning more apologetic.

“Can I see?” he asked, and when you threw him a weary look, he corrected himself. “I won’t hurt ye, dove, swear. I’ll be gentle.”

You stared at him long and hard, before ultimately agreeing, lifting a heavy hand to paw away at the sheets. The dress was pulled back over your figure, but with Soap averting his eyes respectfully, you worked with all your strength to tug at the fabric to pull it up enough as you did the night before.

You released a frustrated noise when you were unable to get it past your hips, your arm failing you. You hated how weak you’d grown in only mere hours, feeling as fragile as glass, and you knew it would only grow the longer you remained unattended to from a doctor.

“What’s wrong?” Soap asked, voice slightly muffled from him facing the other way. You huffed.

“I can’t get it,” you mumbled, voice croaky from the dryness in your throat.

“I can help,” he tried, keeping his head turned. “I can see ye wantin’ to say no. I won’t make it weird, dove, but it needs to be checked. Let me?”

Your eyes bore into the side of his face, flickering across the rugged skin and stubble. There was no reason not to allow him to see, granted he already had last night, but alone felt much more vulnerable. Still, this was Soap you were talking about—he wouldn’t dare make you recoil.

You hummed approval, turning away from him to avoid his eye as he shifted towards you. His gaze dropped down to the bare skin of your legs, hand outreaching carefully.

Your warm skin felt even hotter when his fingertips grazed your thigh, trailing its way up to the bunched hem of your dress. He was cautious as he helped you lift it, seeming more focused on his own concern rather than anything lustful.

It made you relax, body slowly admitting defeat as the dress lifted past your ribs, the only thing keeping your decency being the thin sheet he had graciously pulled over your legs to provide you cover. It was as if he sensed your discomfort and was doing everything in his power to guarantee he meant no harm.

Your heart seemed to pick up its pace, pounding against your ribcage and shooting a different type of pain through you. You couldn’t put your finger on what it was. You just knew it hurt.

Once your injury was revealed to him, he couldn’t stifle the pained breath through his nose. His face contorted into one of hurt, as if he mirrored your pain.

“Is it bad?” you asked, voice cracking under the cottonmouth.

“Ach, it’s nothin’,” he attempted, though you could hear the burrowing worry in his tone. “Just a bruise, aye?”

You sucked in a careful breath, feeling your lungs fill then slowly release. “You’re lying, aren’t you?”

Soap grimaced, fingers lightly brushing along the aggressive bruising on your side. The blackened veins had only grown, spreading into ugly branches. Whatever was hiding within them was the sole reason you were so weak, even just mere hours after inheriting them.

“Would I ever lie to ye?”

“Yeah.”

A small smile broke out on his face, only falling when you whimpered a noise of discomfort as his fingers caressed the skin for too long. His expression morphed into one of deep thinking, eyebrows tugged together and teeth nearly gnawing his bottom lip. You thought he looked a bit silly, but maybe you were being delirious.

“No need to worry ‘bout it, birdie. We’re fixin’ ye up real soon,” he assured, a sign of a promise. Despite it, he didn’t sound so sure.

You only hummed, sinking further into the fluff of pillows surrounding you, eyes redirected to the ceiling.

“Do ye want to eat? Ghost fixed ye up somethin’ warm, figured it may lift yer spirits,” he tried, reaching for the bowl he set aside. The steam no longer rose, but the smell of it invaded your nose.

You didn’t think anything could make you feel better, and the reality was until you got true aid, you wouldn’t heal. Not with the Devil coursing through your veins.

But the look on Soap’s face was hopeful, and you felt a nagging guilt if you were to deny him. It wasn’t often you got Soap alone, and you knew he had been the one to take the food to you in order to spend time with you. It would be downright barbaric to deny.

That was how you ended up with Soap feeding a spoonful of warm soup into your mouth, burning your turn at first taste with him snickering in apology and you glaring daggers.

He chirped your ear off, rambling about everything yet nothing at the same time. You laid and listened, occasionally throwing in your own piece, albeit shortly. Speaking fully was hard, even when you wanted to, but the soup had done wonders to your throat.

You reminded yourself to thank Ghost later. Even if he wouldn’t accept it.

“Have ye ever loved anythin’, birdie?”

The question was sudden, nothing like the ventures Soap had been going on about in order to occupy your mind. It took you off guard and you shifted your head to look at him, noting his curious expression.

Love was a strong word, and you knew your answer. You had been alone up until this point, and even then, the act of friendship was something you were still on the path of discovering.

“No,” you murmured honestly. “I have never felt that.”

Soap hummed, tapping his finger against his lip. “The Captain was quite jolly this mornin’,” he stated suspiciously. “He was still actin’ like a hound dog, don’t get me wrong. Barkin’ us around like his li’l workin’ mice, but there was somethin’ different. Ye know somethin’ ‘bout that?”

The two of you stared at one another, Soap holding a grin behind his hand, you appearing stumped. He was playing a game, even with you bedridden and suffering. He truly was a boy at heart.

“Acting different like Ghost does with you?” you bit back, Soap’s face dropping. “You are barking up the same tree, Soap.”

“Ach,” he tsked, throwing a hand up. “Ghost always say I’m too nosy for my own good. Thought the little birdie would have somethin’ for me to hear.”

You didn’t know why, but you felt you could entrust your heart with Soap. He never held judgement towards you, even from the beginning when he fought for your right to be treated fairly. He was a boy at heart, but a man when he needed to be.

“I’m afraid I do not,” you dismissed, rolling your head back forward to stare at the ceiling.

“Tch. Liar.”

You fell silent, as did he. You could practically feel him waiting for you to break, knowing it was brimming.

“I do not think what I say will be very good,” you confessed, tone growing soft.

“I have never forsaken ye,” Soap replied cooly, unfazed by your reservedness.

You frowned to yourself, knowing he was right. At the end of the day, Soap had been your supporter, even from afar.

“Is it bad to feel for more than one?” you asked, keeping your gaze glued to the ceiling.

Soap grew surprised, eyebrows raising. It wasn’t what he was expecting you to say, let alone ask him. “Ye said ye have never loved anythin’.”

“Because I have not.”

“Then what’s this yer speakin’ of?”

“Forget it.”

Soap cocked his head, taking in the way you seemed to shut in on yourself. While he was an open book, he’d dealt with plenty of introverted feelings with Ghost. It was nothing he hadn’t seen.

“There’s nothin’ wrong with feelin’ for more than one person,” he assured, eyes flickering over the side of your face. You could feel the heat of seriousness in the stare. “Hell, who cares if ye end up with more than one? More love to go around, aye?”

You took in his words, allowing yourself to feel comforted by it. You didn’t expect Soap to find it strange anyway, but to hear it outwardly put your mind at ease from the torn battle being fought within it.

“I feel for the Captain,” you murmured quietly, as if afraid to say it. “Yet I feel for Gaz. I am trapped.”

“Is that so?” he hummed, encouraging you to continue, yet you had not much to say. Your own words felt like vomit with anything wanting to come out being trapped in your throat. “Is there anybody else included in that picture?”

You knew what he was insinuating, and it made you nauseous. To confess that your heart pushed and pulled towards each of them in a way that had you longing, it was too much to say. You feared for the path you were strung along, though you feared veering off of it more.

“No,” you replied, missing confidence in your answer. You knew you were lying—you were just too frightened to admit it.

Soap blinked, weighing your answer. It felt as if he was hiding disappointment. You wouldn’t have noticed if it hadn’t been for the slight drop in his shoulders. “S’not that bad,” he dismissed, trying once more to make you feel better.

It only made you feel worse.

You no longer had a reply, opting for silence instead of conversation. You knew you could trust Soap with the information you’d given him, but there was an underlying feeling of something missing from the conversation, something you weren’t quite ready to address.

Sensing the shift, Soap shot you a smile, clapping his hands on his knees to stand. “I’ll be back later, dove. Ye know to yell if ye need anythin’.”

You highly doubted you’d have the energy to yell, but you nodded nonetheless, frowning at his back as he receded from the room.

You worried you hurt his feelings, but you weren’t sure why they’d be hurt in the first place—your own strange inner workings towards him and the others were nothing bad. He’d said so himself. Yet, the way he left so suddenly had your stomach sinking, thinking that you gave the wrong answer.

You watched the door for the next agonizing hour, blinking away sleep in hopes of catching the next person to come in. When nobody came in, you caved in, disappointed, slipping back into a restless sleep, losing the fight with your own mind and body.

The world was distorted around you, as if peering through a dense lens. You weren’t sure where you were, but all around you was an unsettling darkness surrounding a vast, empty land where nothing there seemed to thrive.

The grass beneath your bare feet was dead and dry, poking into your soles like little needles. The trees, albeit what was left of them, were thin and brittle, branches littering the ground around them. Buildings crumbled in pieces, standing broken and tarnished, the homes of what once lived here now vacant.

The world felt void of anything but disaster, showcasing its ugly teeth and rearing them into you.

You couldn’t recall if you’d ever been here before. There was a sense of familiarity in it, something that struck a chord with you.

The air filled your nostrils, breathing in old ash and faint smoke. It made your throat tighten and your eyes water, the scent shifting the more you consumed it, something more rotten poisoning it.

When you looked around, you realized your loneliness. Nobody was near you—not even Graves. It grew confusion, wondering whether this was one of his nightmares he loved to toy you with, or if this was entirely on your own.

Your body felt weightless, as if the pain you’d been suffering had vanished and you were nothing more than a feather. When you lifted a hand to touch your side, there was no agony. It was like you’d never been injured to begin with.

The world around you was eerily quiet. While it had a nostalgic feel, it had your hairs on the back of your neck standing.

You dared to take a step forward, your feet burrowing into the straw-like grass. The moment your foot touched the ground, everything morphed. Rather than the quiet runes of an old town, your ears nearly bled from screams and cries of hopelessness that filled the air.

Villagers ran frantic, seeking shelter from impending death. Women, men, children, they all were succumbing to their own horrible cruelties. Mother Nature offered no mercy on their souls, taking what she wanted and whatever stood in her way.

The homes were no longer rubble but burning in flames, villagers running for safety, coughing and hacking from the smoke that clouded around them in a dome. You felt the heat singe your skin, warming you from the inside and out.

You stood, horrified, unable to do anything but watch.

You knew why everything seemed so familiar—this was your home. You were watching it fall apart just as you’d done before, but this time, you knew the outcome before it arrived. Everybody around you would be dead once again, and you would be the unlucky survivor.

You attempted to move, but as if your feet were glued to the ground, you remained frozen, locked in a nightmare of watching everything you’d ever known crumble to pieces for a second time.

Why? Why were you being shown this? Why did you have to relive it? You didn’t understand, and the more you fought, the more disoriented you became.

Your gaze darted everywhere, frantic as you searched. It wasn’t until you realized the small bookkeep of your village that it was the only building left standing, unharmed. The flames hadn’t slithered inside, nor had it succumbed to destruction.

You tried your hardest to understand, to think of any reason why your mind was reliving this horrible memory, but the flames began to slink its way towards you, tickling your feet. Its ember grew, and you cried as the heat embedded into your skin.

You’d hardly visited the bookkeep, only on the occasion your curiosity on a subject got the best of you. It held no significant meaning to you. All the knowledge you earned was from your own research. So why?

You watched the fire dance around the building as if it were untouchable, killing everything in its wake while protecting the bookkeep. It hadn’t even touched its grass, keeping it green and vibrant compared to the soot-covered fields around it.

You desperately searched through your mind for importance. Even as the flames at your feet rose, you tried with all your might, hoping that anything of significance would cease the torturous pain and bring you back to your reality.

They rose and rose, until you could no longer think of anything but your melting skin and scorching body. You burned along with the villagers and could do nothing but accept it until you were swallowed whole, engulfed in your own personal hell.

“She’s a furnace, Cap,” Gaz said wearily, the back of his hand pressed to your forehead. “Whatever Graves did to her, it’s not givin’ us a lot of time.”

The Captain paced his quarters, hand dug into his beard, tugging.

Upon Gaz returning to feed you dinner, he found you clammy and burning, your skin hot to the touch. Your forehead was covered in a sheen of sweat, the skin discoloring around your eyes to a meek gray. You were asleep, though God only knows for how long since Soap had left that morning.

“Captain,” Gaz tried once more, watching the man nearly rip his own hair out as he lost himself in his own muddled thoughts.

Price said nothing as if he hadn’t even heard Gaz. He was thinking up anything to stall your illness from whatever disgusting infection Graves mustered up, but he wasn’t a medic. That was your knowledge. He felt utterly useless.

“Price,” Gaz snapped, loud enough to garner the Captain’s attention. “Get a fuckin’ grip. Stress later, come up with a plan now.”

Price halted in his tracks, taking in a deep breath. He took the moment to calm himself, knowing Gaz was right in everything he said. He was a Captain, damn it, yet was falling apart at the sight of one of his own.

“We don’t have time for a professional,” Price stated, stepping up to your bedside where Gaz sat. He peered down at you, observing your sickly skin and pure exhaustion. “We’ll take her to a village doctor, a shrink, it doesn’t fuckin’ matter. The nearest place, we take her to.”

Gaz released a sigh, glancing back at your crippled form. Broken ribs seemed to be the lesser worry. It was the ugly veins that only seem to travel further under your skin. They looked worst than they had been the night before, far worse.

“Nobody leaves her alone,” Price continued. “One of us will be here at all times until we make landfall.”

“I’ll stay,” Gaz offered immediately.

Internally, Price wanted to protest. He was Captain, he should take the responsibility, but his responsibility lied with the helm and manning the ship until his body gave out. It was his heart yearning to stay.

“I’ll let Soap and Ghost know,” Price replied. His hands balled into fists at his sides, jaw clenching uncomfortably. “None of you leave her fuckin’ side. Am I clear?”

Gaz stared at the Captain, noting the tension he held. He glanced back at you, a poor sight to see, and he nodded in agreement.

“No man left behind, aye, Cap?” Gaz tried.

Price grunted, giving him a clap on his shoulder. He gazed down at Gaz with an unreadable expression before shaking it off, storming out of the quarters to inform the others of the plan.

Gaz sat quietly, focusing on you. His heart was pained, seeing you so distressed. He did what he thought may comfort you, grasping your hand in his, rolling a thumb over your knuckles. There was nothing for him to do but get comfortable for the night and ride out the storm that Graves stowed upon them once again, promising to whatever God was listening that he’d fight through hell and back if anything were to happen.

You didn’t wake that day, nor the day after. You relived the nightmare over and over until it was engraved in your head, festering itself deep. It took nearly three days to awake, forcing your eyes open.

Your mouth was dry as cotton, eyes crusted over with endless sleep. Your body felt heavy, as if molded to the cot, and it took all your strength to move your head. You would’ve shrieked in surprise if your throat was hydrated enough.

Price slept beside you, faint moonlight as well as a trusty candle illuminating his peaceful features. He laid on his stomach, arms curled under the pillow and cheek pressed into it. He looked almost boyish like that, the worry exhausted from his face and replaced with a quiet calm.

It was the first you’d woken in the middle of the night to the sight of him. The times you’d spent in his bed before were ones you didn’t wake up to, only waking to an empty cot or falling asleep alone.

You couldn’t help but stare, studying every smooth feature. You almost felt it wasn’t real, that maybe this was a new nightmare forming and was playing tricks on you with a subtle beginning. But when you stared long enough, reality formed and you knew you were awake.

Your body was still hurting, though from being so still in slumber, it was more stiff than anything. You weakly lifted a hand, pawing at the Captain in attempts to rouse him.

As if he’d already been on edge, his eyes shot open, meeting yours. His expression quickly morphed into surprise, then relief.

“Dove,” he breathed, sitting up. He made an uncomfortable grunt from the stiffness in his muscles but was quick to ignore it, laser focused on you. “Are you alright?”

You opened your mouth to speak, an embarrassing squeak coming out. Price noticed instantly, shooting up from the bed.

“Water?” he asked, and when you nodded, he dipped from the room, leaving you alone.

You didn’t wait long, and you would’ve thought Price was running a marathon with the haste he made. He sat beside you, carefully curling his hand on the back of your head to lift it. He placed the cup to your lips, and you nearly moaned in relief once the water hit your tastebuds, flooding them with hydration.

“Better?” he asked, watching you gulp he beverage.

Once finished, you sighed, blinking away the soreness of your eyes. His hand remained on your head as he stared at you, worry lines forming between his brows.

You knew you looked even more hellish than before, but he didn’t seem to pay any mind, only concerned about making sure you were alright. It warmed the coldness in you, melting away the icy wall you’d built from the reoccurring nightmare you suffered.

“We’ll make landfall tomorrow,” Price explained, smoothing his knuckles along your cheekbone with his other hand. The affection caused you to relax. “Get you all better, aye? I know how much it hurts.”

You sluggishly nodded, content with the change of scenery rather than angry flames that burned you to death over, and over, and over. Though it’d only been three days, it felt like years.

“Home,” you murmured, voice still shot from weakness.

Price appeared confused, cocking his head. His thumb brushed along your cheekbone as he spoke. “Home?” he repeated. “What’s on your mind, dove?”

“Need to go home,” you mumbled softly.

“I don’t understand—”

“My village,” you explained, frowning.

Price stared at you, trying to read you. His eyes flickered between yours, displeased with the sickly bags surrounding yours. You looked void of life.

“You want to go home?” he tried, and when you nodded, he hummed. He knew you had no home to go back to, and so did you. It was rubble.

Rather than question your reasoning, he merely took it in stride, nodding in agreement. “We can go home, dove—after you get better. Alright?”

You knew you sounded silly, but the nightmare kept flashing in your head. The bookkeep—something was there, even in the ruins of it. It called to you in your dreams, and it stayed unharmed during mass destruction. There was nothing else for you to believe besides its calling.

Price glanced down at the bare skin of your ribcage where it peeked out from beneath the blanket, your dress still pulled up from when you’d shown Soap. They all made sure you remained decent, never wanting you to feel uncomfortable.

Whatever was plotting beneath your skin in the rooted veins, Price could only hope it wasn’t making you delirious. Hearing you utter words about home had him stuck, but he knew better than to not trust you—it was something he did with his life, now that he had you.

If it was home you wanted to be at, he’d take you. He only prayed you made it long enough to see it.

[pickingupmymercedes]

A thousand times over - Lewis Hamilton

request: Hii! Omg, I just saw a comment on instagram that was so cute it made me think a Lewis fic would be so much cuter. You're my favourite writer for F1 so I know you'd eat this up. So a guy commented that when his wife takes off her wedding rings for baking/gardening/painting/etc and he finds them, he waits til she's done then gives them back to her by proposing to her again. - @happy-golden-hour

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: pure fluff

wordcount: +1K

a/n: The three times Lewis reasks y/n to marry him, and the one time the roles are reversed.

a/n.2: Thank you for the idea bestie, took me a while but I couldn't decide on a single scenario, so there's 3 and a surprise one. Hope you like it ❤️

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

______________________________________________________________

The Gardening Proposal

The morning sun made the garden golden, its rays filtering through the leaves and casting long shadows from the pine trees across the lush grass. Even though it wasn’t even 8 am yet, you were already lost in the peaceful new flower bed you had been working on for the past week. The air was crisp and fresh, a bit of fog still lurking deep in the woods that surrounded your country home, adding to the serene atmosphere.

Lewis looked over from the porch at the scene, his ever-attentive eyes lost in thought as he admired you. His fingers played with the golden band of your wedding ring he had found on the kitchen counter just minutes ago. The soft glint of the ring caught his eye, reminding him of the love and commitment you shared.

Before you could even feel his presence, he cleared his throat to catch your attention. Your vision as you turned was him, in only his basketball shorts, kneeled in the grass by the flower bed. In his hand was the band you had left in the kitchen the previous day, placed carefully so it wouldn’t get amidst the dirt.

"Love, would you marry me, again?" Lewis said softly, holding out the ring between his fingers, his gaze filled with warmth and affection. His voice was gentle, carrying a hint of playfulness that always had you melting.

Surprised but delighted by his heartfelt gesture, you accepted the ring, feeling its familiar weight as he slid it back onto your finger. The metal felt cool against your skin, a tangible reminder of the bond you shared. "Thank you," you whispered, your heart swelling with love and gratitude.

Lewis chuckled, his eyes sparkling as he looked up at you. "Well, is that a yes?" he began, his voice filled with warmth and humor. His playful tone made you laugh, easing any lingering nerves.

Tears of happiness welled in your eyes as you nodded, your voice filled with emotion. "Yes, a thousand times over" you replied, sealing your promise with a passionate kiss. The scent of blooming flowers filled the air around you, a perfect moment in your blossoming garden.

The Workout Proposal

The early night lights danced around in your bedroom windows as you read your book. You had just finished an intense workout in your home gym, the exhaustion and exhilaration leaving you feeling both drained and sleepy. So, after a shower, you had wrapped yourself in a plush robe, seeking comfort in your bed for a bit before thinking about dinner.

A while later Lewis found you, curled up in bed. A smile tugged at his lips as he admired your relaxed demeanor, his fingers playing with the ring he had found placed at tv console in the gym, now safely tucked in his pocket. Scooting closer to you on the bed, he gently pulled you into his embrace, his warmth enveloping you. His touch was gentle, and with a contented smile, you nestled closer to Lewis, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your chest. His arms wrapping around you protectively.

In that intimate moment, Lewis gazed into your eyes softly. "I love you," he whispered, his voice soft but filled with conviction. "And I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy."

“I love you” You whispered back as you looked up at him, although not without a questioning look, as to why the sudden confession.

He let out a chuckle and reaching into his pocket, he retrieved the ring, his features full of adoration as he asked you for the thousandth time "Will you marry me, again?" his voice barely above a whisper.

Overwhelmed you took a moment to gather your words, your heart pounding just like it had when he asked for the first time. “Yeah, always”, your voice steady and certain. As he slipped the ring onto your finger, sealing your renewed commitment, your hands reached for the back of his neck, pulling his lips down to yours.

The Candles Proposal

The aroma of a Sunday roast filled the air, mingling with the comforting scent of herbs and spices. You were in the kitchen, focused on preparing a delicious meal for Lewis's family. His mother was by your side, offering her expertise and sharing cherished family recipes.

As you started making fresh pasta from scratch, you carefully removed your new wedding ring, placing it in Lewis's hand for safekeeping. He smiled, understanding the gesture, and pocketed the ring, promising to keep it safe.

The meal was a success, filled with laughter, stories, and the warmth his family always provided. As you two got back home late at night you headed for the shower, to clean up and decompress.

When you returned to the living room, you were greeted by the soft glow of candlelight. The flickering flames cast dancing shadows on the walls, and soft music played in the romantic and intimate background that Lewis had created.

In the center of the room, Lewis knelt on one knee, his eyes filled with love and determination. The ring you had entrusted to him earlier glinted in his hand, catching the candlelight. "Since I still don’t believe it’s true… would you marry me?” Lewis asked softly, his voice filled with warmth and affection as he held out the ring to you.

"Yes, Lew" you replied, your voice filled with love and gratitude. "I would be honored to marry you, over and over again." Surprised and touched by him, you felt a wave of emotion wash over you. The love and thoughtfulness he had put into this moment a reminder of the lengths he would go to show the love he felt.

The Surprise

As you entered the newly painted nursery, a smile spread across your face at the sight of the lovingly decorated room. Your heart swelled with anticipation at the thought of welcoming your baby into this home and to finally start your own family.

As you admired each detail, your eyes fell upon the wedding band resting on the dresser. Curiosity piqued, you picked up the ring, a tender smile playing on your lips as you realized Lewis had left it behind, probably had taken if off when he was painting.

Knowing he must be in his study, you made your way there, your heart fluttering with excitement. Entering the room, you found Lewis absorbed in his work, surrounded telemetry and car part’s designs. Without a word, you wrapped your arms around him from behind, resting your head against his shoulder.

He turned to meet your gaze, a soft smile lighting up his face as he pulled you onto his lap, his hands automatically resting on your 6 months-bump. "You know, I can't physically kneel like you always do" you teased, a playful glint in your eye, "but there's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Lewis chuckled, his arms tightening around you as he waited for you to continue. With a grin, you reached into your pocket, retrieving the wedding band. Holding it up between you, you met Lewis's gaze, your heart overflowing with love and joy.

"Would you marry me?" you asked, your voice filled with warmth and affection. Lewis's eyes shimmered with emotion. Without a moment's hesitation, he nodded, his voice filled with love. "Yes, I’ll marry you, every day if need be"

As you slipped the ring onto his finger, sealing your renewed commitment, you knew that no matter what life had in store, your love would always be the guiding light that led you through every joy and challenge.

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour

If you’d like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

[ozzgin]

Hi it’s me again 😁. I wanted to try to request something but it’s very specific so if you don’t like the idea or just don’t have the time you can just put it aside 😅.

It’s another female predator story but in this one reader is a preator that was born black with white markings which is seen as a bad omen ( i don’t think it’s real in the Yautja culture but let’s just role with it ). Reader was abandoned by her family and was found by a family of thanator ( you know those fierce alien panther from avatar ) so she was a savage and knew how to hunt without any tools from a young age. Her grandmother, a strong and important matriarch, found her and took her back to their planet. But reader doesn’t really have contact with her kind except for her grandmother and her thanators and she hunts alone a lot of dangerous enemies ( like xenoporph queens ).

I’m totally making the even up but let’s imagine it’s mating season and there is a huge a tournament to help yautjas find a good partner. Like wrestling, shooting or small combat matches… It’s time for the females to compete, reader is participating cause her grandma asked her ( she wants grandpups 😂 ) and is wrecking the events and catches the interest of many males. Especialy after the one on one fight where she would use a lot of her natural features and thanator fighting style ( we don’t really see them using there claws, feet or teeth a lot and it’s disapointing cause those are mass murder weapons). The males are enamoured and quickly process to begin the courting but reader doesn’t really know how to act with males and she never really paid it much attention before cause she’s usually hunting or founding and taking care of new alien pets companions. I bet the males are amazed with this unique and strong ( and kind of inexperienced 😏 ) female yautja.

Thanks for reading this ( long ass fuck to be honest 😂😅) resquest and i hope everything is alright for you, 😘 bye.

You'll have to excuse potentially wrong assumptions as I haven't watched Avatar and have no idea what it is about 🥲 buut otherwise I just detailed around your ideas, they’re pretty solid and I didn’t want to tamper with them more than necessary

Predator Headcanons: Predator Reader in Tournament

Featuring a Yautja female with an unusual background.

Everything happened so suddenly. Your peaceful like among your family, uprooted within seconds. One particular day and out of nowhere, a bizarre vessel hovered over Pandora's forests, alerting everyone in its vicinity. The intruders that teleported down caused even greater confusion: they looked just like you. Yet you couldn't understand their odd clicks and guttural noises, nor did you trust the intricate holograms and machinery pointed in your direction.

After what felt like an eternity - and with the help of a translator - the uninvited guests announced their purpose: to retrieve you and bring you back to Yautja Prime. Nonsense, you thought at the time. There's no "back" when your home has always been on this Planet. Despite your protests, you'd quickly learned that your hunting expertise was no proper defense against their foreign technology and so you begrudgingly accepted the proposal.

The first few months were, plainly put, depressing. The matriarch - you'd soon learn she is your remaining family - insisted on keeping your integration a secret at first. Many factors were still unknown to them: would you be able to learn their language after so many years? What about defending yourself against other Predators? Yautja communities are ruthless and unforgiving, and the matriarch could not risk killing off her only successor.

Thankfully you proved yourself efficient enough with your skills. Growing up in the forest has honed your senses, perhaps to an even greater degree when compared to a Predator who relies on modern weaponry. Impressed with the outcome, your grandmother decides to register you for the Grand Tournament. What better way to reveal the return of her long-lost suckling? You don't know what it entails, but the time spent hunting xenomorphs has gotten quite monotonous. You'd take any challenge to entertain you.

The gate opens and you step inside the ring without hesitation. There's a moment of silence, followed by suspicious murmurs from a confused audience. Unbeknownst to you, the patterns you're donning are not only a rare occurrence among the Yautja species, but a bad omen as well. The males are studying your movements carefully. It's not just your appearance; Your fighting stance is unusual, resembling a wild animal. And, as the end of the match quickly follows with an effortless win on your side, they're certain of one thing: they've found their mate.

You raise your first victoriously and don't even notice the predatory stares. Nor do you comprehend the sudden gathering of males that has formed towards the exit, awaiting your return. What's the meaning of this? You glare at the matriarch, and she responds with a smirk. You'll figure it out soon enough.

[astroeleanor]

The Four Zodiac Signs That Will Be REBORN in September 2024

LIBRA (Moon, Rising, Chart Ruler)

During September, Venus conjuncts the South Node in Libra, bringing about:

• Opportunities to let go of outdated beliefs or attachments, particularly in the areas of relationships, self-worth, and personal values, leading to a sense of liberation.

• Reassessment of how you relate to others, potentially ending old relationship dynamics that are not beneficial. This can feel like a “rebirth” as new, healthier ways of connecting and creating balance are established in your life.

• A deeper exploration of your personal identity, beyond your relationships, redefining who you are independently of others.

• Find new equilibrium in your life, shedding what disrupts your inner peace and embracing what promotes balance.

• This conjunction might bring people or situations from the past back into your life for resolution. This could be an opportunity for closure, healing, and growth.

PISCES (Moon, Rising, Chart Ruler)

The Lunar Eclipse in Pisces on September 17th and the transit of Saturn in Pisces might affect you in the following ways:

• Heightened emotional awareness, deep insights, and the potential for significant release or closure.

• Profound emotional release or awakening, letting go of past emotional wounds, illusions, or attachments.

• Closing of a significant chapter in your life, paving the way for new beginnings.

• Bringing form and structure to your dreams, spiritual practices, and emotional world.

• A strong emphasis on developing boundaries and self-discipline. You may be pushed to balance your compassionate, empathetic nature with the need to protect your energy and establish clearer boundaries.

• A reality check! You may have to confront your fears, illusions, or escapist tendencies. This confrontation can lead to a major personal transformation and a clearer, more realistic vision of your future.

VIRGO (Moon, Rising, Chart Ruler)

With the New Moon in Virgo on Sep 2nd, Virgo Season, Mercury entering Virgo, and the opposition between transiting Sun and Mercury in Virgo and Saturn and Neptune in Pisces, you may experience:

• A powerful opportunity to initiate new projects, habits, or routines that are aligned with your goals for personal growth and improvement.

• A focus on self-improvement, clarity, and redefining your purpose, making it a perfect time for a personal "rebirth."

• An emphasis on rethinking and reevaluating your thoughts, communication style, and decision-making processes, refining your perspectives and adopting new ways of thinking.

• Confronting where you need to balance your desire for perfection with accepting life's imperfections and integrating more compassion & flexibility into your routines.

• Potential confusion or uncertainty but also the chance to clarify illusions or unrealistic expectations, seeing beyond your usual practical mindset and incorporating a more spiritual or imaginative perspective.

• Integrating more emotional intelligence, compassion, or spiritual awareness into your life, gaining a more holistic sense of yourself.

• Setting new health goals, establishing healthier habits, redefining your daily routine for greater well-being.

CAPRICORN (Moon, Rising, Chart Ruler)

As Pluto makes its final entry into Capricorn for our lifetimes, you may experience:

• A culmination of the transformative energies Pluto has been bringing into your life since 2008, marking the end of a profound cycle of personal and collective transformation.

• Shedding outdated identities, roles, or structures that are outdated. This shedding process allows for the emergence of a renewed, more authentic version of yourself.

• Letting go of rigid beliefs, societal expectations, patterns of control.

• Becoming aware of deep-seated fears or traumas that need healing. This is a final call to confront and transform these issues.

• Reconstructing your personal and professional foundations, building them on more authentic & stable ground.

• Pluto’s energy is about power dynamics, both internal and external. There is an opportunity for you to reclaim or master your personal power, learning to wield it responsibly and effectively in your life.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

ASTROLOGY READINGS ARE OPEN!

Full Birth Chart, Soul mate Readings, Career Readings are available. There are limited spots for the month of September so grab yours now!

• 🗡️ TAP HERE TO BOOK A READING with me to navigate your life with more clarity & awareness.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Thank you for taking the time to read my post! Your curiosity & engagement mean the world to me. I hope you not only found it enjoyable but also enriching for your astrological knowledge. Your support & interest inspire me to continue sharing insights & information with you. I appreciate you immensely. • 🕸️ JOIN MY PATREON for exquisite & in-depth astrology content. You'll also receive a free mini reading upon joining. :)

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[rntoshi]

͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ 🔊 bachira meguru (n): the obsessive type.

͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏/ • yandere tendencies, all characters are adults.

͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏​ ͏ ͏similar: a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

it's canon that there's something a bit sinister about bachira— something a little off. it makes me believe he isn’t the conventional lover you’d want him to be.

bachira is an obsessive type, meaning if he enjoyed something he would indulge in it in an excessive, unhealthy amount. it's unfiltered. and as cute as he is, there is a brewing darkness inside of him that he's been open about since he was a child. so much so that he's seemingly made friends with it, referring to this imaginary friend as a "monster," and often talking to and about it as if they were longtime friends.

you to bachira was no exception. he was attracted to you because you were self-assured, not in a cocky way? but in a way that you have a level head on your shoulders. you're seemingly at peace with yourself and where you are in life— and bachira is intrigued by that because he hasn't.. felt that. bachira has never known the happiness that is being surrounded by those who love and accept him like you did when you were a child. much like how he was drawn to isagi, it's similar with you. but instead, bachira doesn't want to coexist and awaken something in you: he wants to possess you because he views you as some sort of angel— you're a virtue who makes him feel tranquility he's never had when he was young. it feels euphoric for him when he's with you for the simple fact he feels protected, heard and accepted even despite his.. eccentric personality. all the things he gotten tormented for; you love. you actively heal his innermost trauma which is why he'd go to extremes rather than letting you go.

you balance him out. he’s very childish, whimsical and chaotic whereas you are nurturing, doting and stable. you’re his anchor in many ways but it’s most evident emotionally. he has moments of weakness where he needs your constant reassurance that you love him, having to promise him a thousand times that you won’t leave him for someone else— his biggest fear is being alone but when he met you it shifted into: he’s afraid of you leaving him all alone.

the relationship definitely an odd pairing according to the public eye. one would assume that you’d be a better fit for someone like rensuke, seishiro or maybe even rin because from the outside it seems as though there’s a dynamic that puts you in a more dominant role. the way bachira so easily clings onto you and finds himself falling asleep in the crook of your neck, solely being lulled into peace from the sound of your voice. he’s incredibly touch starved and often gets restless and agitated when he’s away from you for too long. your touch, your smell, the warmth you produce— it’s like his lifeline.

he is submissive to you in certain aspects, even a bit codependent to a trained eye from the outside looking in, but this wasn't the entire truth.

see, bachira is an brilliant actor and while he does put on a world class performance of being the whimsical, cutesy boy toy— he’s an excellent manipulator. bachira has gotten to a point where does it so we that he doesn’t realize he’s doing it anymore, its altered his sense on reality.

the best way to describe it would be to say there’s a hidden dimension of the relationship that you’re totally unaware of, but he is. bachira is the puppet master and you're his most prized doll. because you’re so nurturing, kind, and naive, you play right into his game every time. you would never suspect your darling, dear bachira to ever do such a thing. in your eyes your sweet boyfriend could never do anything wrong, let alone manipulating you. into what? not leaving him? you know he has some issues to be worked out in therapy, but you've already reassured him countless times that you only have eyes for him and not a soul could change that.

“you know if you ever, ever, ever~ ♡ left me for someone else..” he's breathless in your ear as his hips rut into you from behind but there's so clearly a smile in his voice. if only you could see the unhinged look on his face, but his bicep is wrapped around your neck in a light chokehold. the only thing you can focus on his the headboard in front of you. “i’d kill them— i’d kill them and i'd record it so I could send it to you as a gift. isn’t that romantic?” but little do you know, he actually dead serious. he’d go lengths to assure you’ll never leave his clutches.

“chira— d-on’t say t-things like that.. ah..” you whine, dainty fingers gripping the soft bedsheets underneath you. you're too under the influence of an orgasm to really process his words, for now you think of it as chira being chira. “you feel so.. good..”

“you’re mine— ‘nd you’ll be my bitch forever, yah~ ♡? my pretty princess.. my angel?” he says as he picks up his pace, now chasing his own high as you near your own. the sounds of skin on skin from his pelvis hitting the meat of your ass and the high-pitched moans coming from both you and him were explicit and pornographic.

“always.. always!” the tightening around the base of his cock from your high and your cries are what essentially push him over the edge, making him unload deep inside your hole. the simple implication or rather.. agreement that you'll be his forever was enough for him.

nevermind the aggressive love bites that have sense drawn blood, bachira will just give you that pretty puppy-eyed look and apologize for getting out of hand. he never "means" to, honest. he totally doesn't get the sweet satisfaction of marking what he considers his property.

© rntoshi 2023. do not modify or repost.

[lxvemaze]

彡in the end, it's you

pairing' cha eunwoo x reader

genre' hurt/comfort

wc' 3.5k

warnings' childhood best friends to lovers, miscommunication at its finest, angst angsty angsty, i cried, happy ending tho

song rec' always you by astro

a/n' no notes, i'm just sad

You couldn’t escape him. You saw him every single day without fail. His face was everywhere. You two had been friends all throughout your childhood, you grew up together, spent every day of summer break together, had each other's backs all throughout elementary and middle school. When the two of you were fourteen, he got scouted by an agent from an entertainment company who asked him to come audition to be a trainee. You were so excited for him, you knew he’d be a fantastic entertainer, so when he asked you what he should do, you told him to go for it.

And so he did.

And then he never spoke to you again.

You saw him on TV a few years later, he had debuted with a boy group as a vocalist. You almost couldn’t believe it when you saw him, he had debuted under a new name, so you thought it might’ve been another boy that just looked like him. But there was no one else in the world that looked like Lee Dongmin.

You were more than a little bitter about it, you two had been the best of friends throughout your entire lives until he got scouted, and then as soon as he got accepted as a trainee, he completely ghosted you. Not even his parents or brother could tell you why he didn’t ever text you, apparently he refused to tell them.

So now here you are, nearly a decade after he ditched you, a year after you graduated college, and working at your friends cafe because you decided to major in a degree that was nearly impossible to get a job in.

In the years since Dongmin’s debut, he’s only gotten more and more famous. He’s gotten huge acting roles, become an ambassador for some of the biggest brands on the planet, and the entire country was in love with him. It seemed like every single time you opened your phone or turned on your computer, you saw some headline about him like;“The Most Handsome Man In Korea; Cha Eunwoo”, “Cha Eunwoo: Face Genius”, “Cha Eunwoo Dating Rumors”, it was exhausting.

You lived close enough to the cafe to walk to work, and much to your chagrin, it seemed like your old friend was the face of every brand ever. You saw posters of him, billboards, screens playing his ads, coffee cups with his face on them. You couldn’t escape him. The memory of the boy you had grown up with followed you everywhere.

During exam season, your friend liked to keep the cafe open 24/7 on weekend nights, so students could have a place to get coffee and relax for a minute before getting back to studying. Tonight was one of those nights.

None of your coworkers liked the overnight shifts, but you didn’t mind them. They were slow and peaceful. About once an hour, a teenager with dark circles under their eyes would come in for a pick-me-up, and leave as soon as the drink was in their hand. So you always offered to take the overnight shifts by yourself.

It was 3 a.m., and no one had come in for almost two hours. After an hour of experimenting with the different syrup flavors and making what was quite possibly the most foul drink to have ever existed, you resorted to scrolling on your phone while sitting on the stool behind the register. You were tired, the blue light of your screen burning into your eyes. You had half a mind to just close the shop and go home, and pray that your friend wouldn’t murder you when she found out.

You didn’t even notice when the bell on the door rang as it opened until the person was standing right in front of the register.

“I am so sorry,” You apologized, quickly setting your phone beneath the counter and looking up at the man in front of you “What can I get-”

You stopped in your tracks as you observed the stranger in front of you. He was tall, and wearing a mask, glasses, and a beanie pulled down to his eyebrows, but there was something familiar about his eyes, and with the way he was looking down at you, you could tell he thought the same about you.

The two of you maintained eye contact for what anyone outside would have thought was an uncomfortable amount of time. You knew this man somehow, how somewhere. But where? Where could you have-?

It hit you like a semi-truck going 50 over the speed limit on the highway- It was him. The man that had haunted what felt like your every waking moment of the past decade.

It was Dongmin. Your Dongmin.

A shocked “Holy shit.” left your mouth.

You thought there was no way he would recognize you. He’d probably have worked with thousands of people over the past ten years, his world a constant loop of meetings, rehearsals, photoshoots, recordings, and performance. When he left, he cut you off completely, he probably wanted to forget his life before fame, he probably wanted to forget you.

At least that was what you thought until he pulled his mask from his mouth and breathed out your name.

“Uh…” You stuttered for a moment, your brain scrambling to think of something to say, should you confront him? Ask him why he never called or visited? Instead, what left your mouth was a lame, “You want coffee?”

You could’ve sworn you saw his face fall for a second before he nodded. “Yeah, just…Just an Iced Americano, I guess.”

The two of you were silent as you made his drink. Your mind was racing. He recognized you. He recognized you, and you kind of blew it? Why did you just ask him if he wanted a coffee? Are you stupid? Well, sure, maybe a little bit. You have to say something else to him. But what? What could you possibly-?

“So…How’ve you been?” His question stopped you before you could hand him his finished drink. How’ve you been? How. Have. You. Been?

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” The question left your mouth before you could stop it, stunning the both of you. But still, you continued. “We haven’t seen each other for like, an entire fucking decade, and you’re asking me how I’ve been? You completely stopped talking to me after you got accepted into your company. Do you know how many all-nighters I pulled after you left, hoping that you would send me a message? Do you know how many times I went over to your moms house to ask about how you’ve been, only to find out that you wouldn’t even tell your own family why you wouldn’t talk to me? I see your face every fucking day. Everywhere I go, you’re there. On every fucking poster, every billboard, every magazine. Hell, every time I open my goddamn phone, your name is in every damn article I see. Every day, I have to wonder why you ghosted me like that, why you just pretended I didn’t exist, and went on with your life. I’ve had to watch as you’ve become one of the most famous men in the entire country, while I slogged through school to get a degree that just led to me working in a fucking coffee shop. And you’re asking me how I’ve been. What the fuck?”

You took a breath, letting everything you just said sink in. You couldn’t have stopped yourself if you tried. All your frustration about him over the past decade had just come tumbling out of your mouth in rapid succession. You realized you were still gripping Dongmin’s coffee and set it down on the counter in front of you. Dongmin’s expression hadn’t changed much, other than the furrow that had formed between his brows.

The two of you stood in silence for what felt like an eternity. You were still fuming, and Dongmin was still practically expression-less.

“I’m sorry.” Was all he said before grabbing his Americano, tossing the cash for his drink onto the counter, and quickly exiting the cafe.

You were left shocked. All your questions unanswered. You stared at the wall for the next three hours until the crew for the morning shift came in. You were in a haze the whole walk home. You had finally seen the man that had been on your mind constantly for the past several years, told him what his absence in your life had done to you, and all he could say was “I’m sorry.”

You didn’t know whether to cry, scream, or stare at the wall in silence. So you just went to sleep.

You slept for an almost inordinate amount of time- 15 hours. It was already almost time for you to go back to the cafe for another overnight shift. You got ready with your mind still in a furious fog, the thought of your best friend as a kid- really, your only friend as a kid going out and living a successful life made you what others would probably say was unreasonably mad. Even your own mom thought your grudge against him was a little much. She didn’t understand. She didn’t understand what his actions had done to you.

It was a much busier night at the cafe, students and businessmen alike all coming in for a dose of caffeine to get themselves through the busy season. The cafe didn’t calm down until almost 4 a.m., and at long last, you were finally left by yourself in peace and quiet.

Maybe ten minutes after the last customer had left the store, you were drying out a froth pitcher when the bell above the door dinged again, alerting you to another customer.

You were still turned around facing the sink when you heard his voice.

“I swear I can explain.”

You whipped around so fast, you could’ve gotten whiplash. Once you saw him standing there looking so perfect and handsome in his long tailored black coat, expensive glasses, and designer shirt, you had half a mind to throw the small metal pitcher in your hand at his head. He raised his hands as if he could see the wheels turning in your brain. He looked around for a second before pulling out a chair at one of the small tables in the cafe and sitting down. You stared at him for a moment, wondering what the hell he was doing before he gestured at the seat in front of him, motioning for you to sit down.

You contemplated just leaving. Leaving the store unattended with Dongmin sitting alone at that little table and then never coming back again. Maybe you’d just walk out and keep walking and walking and walking until you dropped dead. But in the end, you decided that wasn’t a feasible option, so you set down your rag and pitcher, and slowly moved to sit down in front of him.

“So…Go ahead. You said you were gonna explain. So explain.”

He remained silent for a moment, his eyes scanning your face intensely, as if trying to find something that wasn’t there. He sighed and took off his glasses, placing them on the table. He rubbed the corners of his eyes, and folded his hands on top of the table, right next to where he sat his glasses before meeting your gaze.

“It’s not as simple as you think it is.”

You opened your mouth to argue, but he silenced you with a raise of his hand. “Please…Just let me talk. I know you’re angry, I know you’re frustrated, I know you’ve had a really hard time these past few years. But please…For the love of God…Let me say my piece before you say anything. When I’m done, you can yell and scream and call me names and tell me how shitty your life has been. But let me finish first.”

You closed your mouth and slumped back in your chair, watching curiously as Dongmin twiddled his thumbs for a moment before speaking again.

“I didn’t really…Have a choice. When I was accepted into the company, they told me that I couldn’t do anything that might damage my reputation in the future. They asked me if I had any female friends, so of course, I told them about my best friend; you. I told them about how we spent every day together, how we took all the same classes, how our families knew each other, how close we were. And they told me that wouldn’t do. They told me that if I stayed friends with you, that you could hurt my career.”

You almost opened your mouth again to speak, and he could tell, as he stopped and put his hand up again.

“I know. Okay? I told them that you wouldn’t do anything, that you were my best friend and only wanted good things for me, and you would never say or do anything to hurt my career. But they didn’t know you. So they didn’t believe me. They took my phone and blocked your contact, and told me to forget about you. To never mention you again to anyone. And if anyone tried to bring you up, to shut it down immediately and change the topic. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to abandon you. You were the most important person in my life. It was so hard to imagine you at home by yourself, wondering why I was ignoring you. I cried every night at the thought that I would never see you again. I hoped and prayed that we would see each other again, that you would be waiting for me, because I-”

Dongmin was cut off by the bell above the door dinging. You quickly stood up and saw a teenager standing in the door, obviously startled by your quick movement. “We’re closed.” You lied, ushering the teen out the door before closing the blinds and turning off the “Open” sign in the window. You turned around to see Dongmin still seated in his chair, facing the one you were sat in just a moment ago, fiddling with a string on his ripped jeans that probably cost more than your rent.

You sat across from him again, but this time he was determinedly avoiding making eye contact with you.

“Are you finished?”

He nodded his head slowly, his gaze returning to yours. “Do you…Wanna say anything? Now that you know?”

Your mind was a mess. You were still mad- you didn’t really know why, but you were. You finally had a reason, a pretty good reason, for why he did what he did. But you were still…Really fucking mad.

“Why…Didn’t you contact me? Like, after you debuted, after you started acting, after all that…Why did you never reach out? Hell, you could’ve had your mom or your brother deliver a message to me or something. If I was really important, if you really cared about me to the point where you were crying over me every night, why haven’t I heard from you until now?”

His head hung low and a long quiet sigh escaped his lips as he rubbed his eyes again. 

“I really don’t know. I think I was scared. Scared to see you, or scared that you would be mad at me, scared that you wouldn’t want to hear me out.” He looked back up at you, this time his eyes welled with tears. “I missed you. So much. More than I missed anyone else. It hurt so much, and I really wasn’t okay. So after a while, I did try to forget you. But it didn’t work.”

Your eyes were welling with tears of your own, and you weren’t even sure why. You choked them back and stared at the table for a second, gathering your thoughts before looking back up to him. “Didn’t you have…I don’t know, other friends or maybe like… I don’t know, girlfriends or something? I mean, your life is so…Insane. Why couldn’t you forget me? When you really think about it, I was kind of only a small part of your life.”

He let out a teary chuckle and your heart ached as you saw his real smile for the first time in years. He wiped the tears from his eyes with his sleeve and attempted to compose himself.

“Of course I have friends, come on. But really, I don’t…I never…Really had any girlfriends.” His head ducked again in what you could only assume was embarrassment. “And you…You were never a small part of my life. You were everything to me. The thought of being able to see you again after I debuted was basically the only thing that kept me going as a trainee. I could never forget about you. I tried, but I just…Couldn’t. You were my reason for going on. My reason for…Everything.”

You quickly looked away from him, your cheeks reddening for an indecipherable reason. You took a second to regain your composure, eyes wandering around the cafe before landing on the table. “So…Why didn’t you have any girlfriends?”

He chuckled again, and your heart once again tightened at the sight. His teeth were a little different, you noticed. But his smile still met his eyes the same way you remember it doing all those years ago. He scratched his chin and his eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but you. He stared at the ceiling for a second, his smile slowly lessening before he looked back down at the table between you.

“Every time I tried to…Go out, or even just…Spend time with a girl…” He brought his hands to his face, groaning into them before finally looking back up at you. “I could only really think about you.”

His words took you off guard, and it took you a minute to process what he was saying. Your anger at him had long since worn off, and instead, you were left with a feeling of guilt. He had spent so many years working completely non-stop with people- management and fans alike- watching his every move. And any time he tried to stop and enjoy life like a normal human being, he couldn’t. Because he was thinking of you.

“...Why?”

He smiled gently at you, like he was waiting for you to realize the answer yourself before he said it, “Because. It was always you. Since the beginning, it was you. You were all I could think of before I went to sleep, all I could think of anytime I tried to enjoy myself. I wasn’t complete without you. From the beginning, and in the end, it’s you. And I think that’s the real reason I tried to forget you.”

The sunrise started to creep through the blinds as your mind was reeling, trying to make sense of what Dongmin was saying. It’s you. What? You stared at him blankly, unable to form a coherent thought or sentence. After all this time, the reason he had never called, never messaged, never tried to find you, the reason that he had spent the past decade of his life trying to forget about you was because he…You couldn’t even bring yourself to think of that dangerous word.

The smile had long since faded from Dongmin’s face as he carefully watched your reaction. He pushed back his seat, and adjusted his jacket. “I should probably go. Your coworkers are going to be here soon.”

He stood from his seat, your eyes trained on him as he slowly made his way to the door. Suddenly, something in your mind clicked, and you rushed forward to grab his arm just as his other hand reached for the door handle. He looked down at you, his brow furrowed as you looked up at him. Now that you had him, you weren’t really sure what to say, so instead of thinking, you just let the words flow out.

“I think I know the reason I never got over you leaving. I think I loved you- love you. I love you so much that you leaving and blocking me without warning hurt so bad, and then I kept seeing your face everywhere, and in every picture you just looked so happy, the sadness that I felt just turned into hate. I hated you for being happy without me, I hated you for being successful without me, I hated you for the fact that everyone in the country loves you. But I don’t hate you, I never hated you. I love you. I love you.”

Both of you stood in shocked silence at your words, neither of you moving, neither of you breathing, neither of you blinking. You just stood there, looking at each other. You couldn’t tell how long the two of you had been motionless until Dongmin’s face broke into a soft smile, and he gently removed your hand from his arm and held it in his own.

“I love you, too. I always have. It’s always, always been you.”

[luneengene2]

I was wondering if you could write about what it would be like to be newly married with Jo and live a quiet life in Kyoto, Japan? 🫶🏻

Peaceful Life After Marriage

• Warnings : Mention of 'after intercourse' (?)

• idol!Jo x Fem!reader

• Notes : When making this, I had to look for things directly related to Kyoto, and it turned out to be quite difficult༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

// Being a newly married couple with Jo and living a quiet life in Kyoto must feel like a fairy tale that you would never have imagined, even when you were a child.

// When you decided to accept his proposal, you wanted a quiet life away from the noisy city life. You wanted yourself away from the camera spotlight after becoming his wife. His love for you is so great, and he is willing to do anything for your happiness. And yes, he complies with your wish to live a quiet life in Kyoto, away from the noise of the city and the glare of the cameras. He can balance his career as an idol and his role as a good husband for you.

// Kyoto, with its natural beauty and deep cultural heritage, will provide the perfect backdrop for raising a family together with your sweet husband.

// Mornings in Kyoto begin with the sound of birds chirping in temple gardens, where maple leaves turn red and gold in autumn. You wake up feeling refreshed even though your body is a little sore from having sex with him last night. He treated you well that night, not even leaving you to sleep first, making sure that you were fresh before going to sleep completely.

You don't find your husband beside your bed, the part where he was lying is already neat. A sign that he woke up first. The bedroom door opened, revealing Jo carrying a tray of breakfast for you. His sweet smile makes your morning feel fresher.

He approached you and put the tray on the bed, saying good morning in his deep voice, not forgetting to peck your lips briefly. Eating breakfast together in bed.

// Every morning, you and Jo can enjoy the fresh air from the beautiful mountains. You can take a leisurely stroll along the narrow streets lined with traditional wooden houses, or maybe sit in a small cafe that is quite famous in that area while sipping warm green tea and tasting wagashi (traditional Japanese cakes).

// On weekends, you can visit famous temples and parks such as Kiyomizu-dera Temple or Arashiyama Park.

// In Kyoto, life feels slower and more intimate. Of course, you'll be staying in a traditional Japanese house, probably a machiya, full of wooden furniture, sliding doors. as well as a small garden behind the house. The two of you use the garden to sit and relax in the afternoon, listening to the trickling water from the small pond or simply taking in the scent of the blooming seasonal flowers. Talking sweet nothings about your new marriage. How Jo is always touched when he remembers that one of his life goals has been achieved, marrying you.

// PICNIC! Together, you can enjoy simple moments like a picnic by the river when the cherry blossoms are in bloom.

// Cycling through the Arashiyama bamboo forest in autumn, with beautiful red leaves decorating the roads.

// Your days are filled with a serene routine—shopping at the local Nishiki market, picking out fresh vegetables and traditional Japanese ingredients to cook together at home. When at the market, a seller who was around 70 years old asked you whether you were married or not, when you answered 'yes', He prayed for you, blessed you at length with good words, even prayed that you and Jo would be given great descendants.

// In the evening, maybe you'll cook a simple dish like homemade nabe or ramen. Then sit together on the tatami while talking about future dreams, laughing, and enjoying each other's presence.

// The nights in Kyoto were quiet but peaceful. Outside the window, the wind could be heard gently blowing the bamboo leaves. Jo might like to draw or read in a corner of the house, while you make green tea to accompany him while doing his hobby.

// When he's tired, he'll immediately invite you to the room. Lie down and cuddle on the comfortable bed. Back to talking about the future before he really falls asleep in your arms.

// Every day, you find happiness in each other's little moments—a touch of the hand in the middle of a conversation, a loving look in the eye, and a burst of laughter for no reason.

// In Kyoto, time seems to slow down, giving you the chance to be truly present with each other, cherish every second together, and celebrate love in a quiet yet meaningful way.

// Even though he sometimes has to return to Tokyo for his career as a idol, he will still come back to accompany you to enjoy a quiet life. Until you have children, he will continue to follow your wishes, keeping your children's privacy away from the camera.

[kitkatscabinet]

Bejeweled

Aegon Targaryen II x f! reader

Summary: You hadn't married Aegon for love but you had thought time would at least endear you to each other. When years pass and he remains stuck in his drinking, whoring ways you decide to make him pay the best way you know how.

Word count: 2.6K

A/N: didn't know where i was going with this and ended up writing whiny sub Aegon: 18+ only, minors scram. never written smut before so if its cringe sorry. Spell check stopped working halfway through so probable errors.

Baby love, I think I've been a little too kind. Didn't notice you walking all over my peace of mind

As a highborn daughter of a lord you'd always known it was your destiny to marry well. To be sold like cattle to the highest bidder, you had long since accepted your lot in life.

So when you had been wed to the first son of the King you had done so without a hint of protest. Your parents hadn't been a love match but they had grown close enough and were on friendly terms. You had known this going in, just as you had heard the less than savoury rumours that surrounded the prince.

You had let it slide when he'd gotten outrageously drunk on your wedding night and the months after when he'd continued to drown in his cups and whores.

All the while you'd continued to play the role of the loyal, loving wife. Pulling his hair from his face, tucking him in when he'd passed out drunk, bending to his every whim in the hopes that maybe he’d finally see you.

It takes two years for you to completely give up, two years two long because after all Puttin' someone first only works when you're in their top five.

Aegon’s 20th name day was a resplendent affair. The Queen had taken it upon herself to ensure her eldest son and heir received the finest of days, even if he didn't deserve it. Deserved or not the festivities had given you the perfect opportunity for subtle retribution.

You had taken it upon yourself to be fashionably late to the banquet, mirroring his own lady mother's entrance to princess Rhaenyra's wedding. The magnificent gown that complimented every inch of your figure a stunning example of your house colours. Not a single inch of Hightower green or Targaryen imagery to be seen.

Hungry eyes of lords and ladies alike followed your figure, drawn to the beauty that had been heavily accentuated by the glittering jewellery that adorned your wrists and neck. Diamonds and pearls that had mostly been gifted to you by your already outrageously drunk husband. The husband that had been too busy eye fucking the poor serving girl to notice your entrance.

It isn't until you take your designated seat beside your husband does Aegon notice your form. Eyes widening comically as you grasp the newly filled cup from his hands and bring it to your own painted red lips.

A wicked sense of satisfaction fills your chest its tendrils curling around your heart as you notice how absolutely entranced the drunkard has become with you. Aegon's lips are parted with desire as his eyes greedily drink in what he believes to be his present. Your raise the glass once more to hide the vindictive smirk that has slithered its way onto your face as you think

Best believe I'm still bejeweled. When I walk in the room. I can still make the whole place shimmer. Aegon had taken so much from you, but your body, your beauty was still yours.

You don't stay seated for long as jaunty music fills the hall in a tune you had always been particularly fond of. Fingers lightly trailing over Aegon's shoulders as you make your way to the dancefloor. Your husband had never been one to entertain your desire to do so, and now you were determined to make him watch as another man placed his hands on what he thought was his.

As you made your way into the dancing crowd your husband was forced to watch as you laughed in delight, spinning between the various lords that had all but tripped over themselves to be by your side.

Aemond had regaled you with tales of what it felt like to ride the legendary Vhagar and whilst you had never experienced the rush of dragon riding yourself you could only assume it felt something akin to your current delight. The burning fire of your blood as you witnessed Aegon's scowl turning into something darker. The power that thrummed through your veins as you forced your husband to watch as his nephews clutched at your waist. Not even his brother had been spared from your devious clutches, half-lidded eye and head following your retreating form as you moved to your next plaything.

Alas, that seemed to be the final straw for Aegon as he swiftly made his way to your side with a jaw clenched so hard you wondered how his teeth didn't crack. The grip with which he grabbed you was bruising though you refused to allow your discomfort to show, chin raised high as you looked into furious violet eyes.

"What, do you think you're doing, wife" he hissed into your ear all vitriol and gnashing teeth. Feigning confusion, you furrow your brows before running a delicate hand over his face.

"Whatever do you mean husband? I simply wished to dance, you've never shown any interest before and I didn't want to bother you and your serving girls." The illusion you had tried to maintain instantly shattered as your own venom leaked through.

It is Aegon's turn to be slightly taken aback then, you'd never so much as hinted your displeasure for his proclivities before. He'd never witnessed anything other than your kind doting and blind eyes to his lecherous ways. The sheer surprise in his countenance has you scoffing and pushing back an ugly bubble of laughter.

"Don't look so surprised husband" you hiss, "familiarity breeds contempt." Your rage fades into something more melancholy as you realise it is indeed the familiarity you had allowed yourself with him that has you so angry.

You had only ever brought up your fury once before in a drunken haze when you had begged him not to put you in the basement when you wanted the penthouse of his heart.

To your eternal luck, the song ended before either of you had the opportunity to speak again and you were pulled away by a brave or suicidal lord for the next.

Forcing back the tears and pushing a smile onto your face you eagerly took the lord's hand. You spent the rest of the night avoiding Aegon's presence, surrounded by lords and ladies more than willing to keep you company. Diamonds in my eyes I polish up real, I polish up real nice.

Your sudden desire to entertain anyone other than your husband doesn't end with the celebrations. When Aegon confronts you once more, a week after you stop mothering him you simply say "baby boy, I think I've been too good of a girl." You run a thumb over his lips before turning to make your escape, I think it's time to teach some lessons.

By now the residents of King's Landing court were more than aware of your sudden cold treatment of the prince. None more so than the men and women that had found themselves on the recieving end of your attention. Light touches with your rind adorned hands and whispers into ears with lips lingering a little too closely to be proper. Helaena and Aemond were the most popular recipients of your affection, the starved pair eagerly basking in the glory of your love.

Aegon, who had attempted to appear nonchalant at your sudden interest in the lords and ladies of the courts had eventually become furious.

It came to a head when Aegon had stalked into your room, obviously drunk, to see you curled up in Helaena's lap as she read through the newly update encyclopedia of instects you had gifted her. The following acidic conversation had quickly devolved into a screaming match that had you ushering an overwhelmed Helaena to safety.

Every nasty thought you had been holding in finally erupted once the sweet girl was out of the crossfire and the doors to your chambers slammed shut.

"My brother wasn't enough for you, you're fucking my sister now?" he sneered, wine spilling over his hand and adding to the various stains adorning his once white shirt.

Tears of fury burn the corners of your eyes but you refuse to let them fall, to give the bastard in front of you the satisfaction. Scoffing you stalked towards him, remaining out of striking distance but more than ready to rain your own hell down on him.

"What would it matter if I did?" you hissed defiantly, the ugly part of you still determined to make him hurt.

"You're my wife! You belong to me" he shrieked back, and that was your final straw. Feet swiftly closing the small gap between the two of you as your open palm connected with the skin of his cheek. The force left your hand stinging but you couldn't drag your eyes off the reddening skin of his pale skin. Pained shock covered his face as he clutched at the affected area.

"You're my husband, you're supposed to belong to me!" you retaliated trying desperately to ignore the gathering tears in his eyes. "I made you my world! I gave you all my pieces until I didn't even recognise myself anymore!"

The sapphire tears that you had so desperately been trying to keep at bay streaming down your own face. All at once your rage diminished and you were drowning once more in the sadness that had become your whole sky.

Unfortunately, your vitriolic rage was the only thing keeping your shaking body upright and your knees were quick to hit the floor. Deep heaving sobs shook your entire frame as you struggled to regain the breath you were losing.

Vaguely you are aware of Aegon clutching onto your form but you are too exhausted to push him away, desperate for some kind of comfort. His lips leave a burning trail along the skin of your neck and down to your chest. His deft fingers slowly unlace your nightgown whilst yours tangle in his silver hair, tugging at the roots to direct his movements.

Your mind is screaming at you to stop him, to not let him just crawl back to use and discard you once more. Gaining back some clarity you tug harshly at Aegon's hair, forcing his mouth to dislodge itself from your inner thigh. What you hadn't accounted for was the pathetic whine that your action had drawn from his throat.

You watched greedily as your husband's pupils dilated even further, lips pouting as he struggled against your hand to return to his prize. Your grip remained firm however as you sat up, using your free hand and legs to flip the unsuspecting man onto his back, before enclosing your grip around his neck instead. Once more his throat let out a pathetic whine that set your veins alight, fire burning in your chest down to your fingertips as you forced his writhing form to stay still.

Slowly you ground your hips down against his, eyes never leaving his as you lowered your mouth to bite down just over his heart. Your reward was a shaky gasp that sounded delicously close to a sob that had your hips faltering in astonishment.

The desperate upwards bucking of hips below you snaps you back into action. Fingers flexing in a warning around his throat as you lifted yourself onto his lower abdomen in order to stop any movement.

"No." With a single word the tides had changed, the usually prideful man had been reduced to a puddle of shaking, begging tears. Throat dry and nerves alight with ecstasy you slowly rid your bodies of any remaining cloth before sinking back down into his lap. You keep your movements deliberately slow as your rock your hips back and forth, mouth leaving punishing bruises along the milky expanse of his skin.

All the while your eyes never leave his face, scrunched up in pleasure and mouth stringing together the prettiest mix of moans and babbled words.

"please" he whimpers, eyes rolling into the back of his head and almost causing the last thread of your self control to snap from its already frayed state.

"Please what?" you smirked wickedly in response, attempting to maintain the last vestiges of your percieved control. Unintelligible whimpers are your only response and in a vindictive move you stop once more. "Use your words Aegon" you chided, leaning up to nip at the skin just below his ear.

"Please. Please, please fuck me" he shakily babbled out, breathy words finally pushing you over the edge. Your hips snapped into a punishing pace, hand grasping his throat so tightly you knew the skin underneath would soon bllom into a deep purple.

"Is this what you want? The reason you throw yourself so desperately at all those whores? You want someone to treat you like one?" you growl into his ear, your own pants of pleasure ane exhertion mixing with those from the writhing form beneath you.

The gasped moans increasing in pitch and furiously shuddering thighs indicated that in a typically selfish Aegon move, your husband wouldn't last much longer. A wave of annoyance ran through you as a snarl erupted from your throat. Lightening the harsh grip on his throat you offered only a brief reprieve before your fingers snaked their way into silver locks once more. Tugging forcefully you pulled until his chest was flush against yours, sweat mixing together as the two of your fought to pull the other impossibly closer.

"Touch me" you demanded, forcefully pulling his mouth down to bite at your hammering pulse and shoving one of his hands between your legs. Where Aegon ends and you begin is a mystery, the both of you desperately clawing at each other as if trying to pull the other into their very being.

It is with large hands splayed and grasping at your back and whimpered chants of your name just reaching your conscience through the debauched moans and slapping skin that you reach your high. Thighs clamping down against muscled thighs and a final harsh tug of sweat soaked silver locks is all it takes for Aegon to follow.

Your lungs greedily gulp in air tainted by the stench of sex as you force your shaking body to cooperate. Pulling yourself back you allow a brief persual of the masterpiece you had created still splayed bonelessly on your mattress. Burning leg muscles eventually allow you to move, collecting your discarded nightdress as you make yourself as presentable as possible.

"where're you goin?" Aegon slurs from your bed, glazed eyes hazily attempting to take in your movements.

"To bed, and seeing as mine is occupied it appears I'll have to find my rest elsewhere tonight. Good night Aegon." You are too swift for him to protest but as you reach the door you throw one last look at your painting of purples and reds before calling, "clean yourself up, you look like a whore." With those final words you close the door behind you once more, holding your head high as your assigned guards for the night throw uncomfortable glances at your post pleasure form. The sweat adorning your skin glinting slightly in the low lighting the various torches provided.

What's a girl gonna do? A diamond's gotta shine

Whispers flitted through the cut throat court of King's Landing. Whispers of a bejweled temptress and the pathetic Targaryen that attempted to hang off her arm like a broken bangle. Whispers that turned to scandalised gasps that followed when she walked in the room, a different Targaryen draped proudly across her arm. Long silver hair matching the refinery littering her fingers, wrists and neck as she made the whole place shimmer.

join my taglist!

[matchagyudon]

Pomp and Gallantry - Jakurai Jinguji English Lyrics Translation

Now, do you understand what karma is? The glory and errors of my past days have been piling up Was I trapped because I wanted to be at ease?

Remorse, my guilty conscience, and self-sacrifice This is the conclusion to taking the easy way out The challenges that have been lying about are still untouched

In this Labryinth Wall Time or patience, are they no longer necessary? Is it easy to break free from here? Are you saying that life itself has no pain?

Is our answer, even now, that suffering in agony is inevitable? Is it said that we humans have ended conflict? So then, what in the world have we learned from history?

Life is a game, this embellishment is a joke Just when you think that you can’t take it anymore, The true scenario of your fate can be rewritten Strike out your languidness, and remove the overbearing shackles With my mic and charts, all that’s left is the love in my heart It’s not that those who believe are saved, But rather whether you can keep believing until you are saved

Inside of strength is tenderness, and within tenderness you can find strength The taste of defeat, like biting on sand, is now the spice of life

With these hands, certainly, with these hands I will wake them up This country’s heart is coming to an end And the only power that can revive it Would be love That is the only way we can wake them up With pomp and circumstance, today, we will be gallant too

The commotion of Shinjuku, noises mingling together Dissonance reverberating within the spiral of reincarnation This city is still in deep turmoil Whispering sweet temptations, fleeting pleasures

Like a weed hidden in a back alley, this flower is nameless, yet noble It sways gently in the breeze today, once more There is no other flower as strong as concrete

It was sudden, my heart became soaked The shock hit me like lightning “Obligation and self-awareness”, I was prepared for those two words From tragedy to comedy, the reasoning is reversed

To live, in itself, is love Life isn’t about winning or losing It’s about everything Now is the time to accept one another’s differences Why don’t we accept each other? Or to love each other?

Let’s return, once more, to the beginning Be rid of any doubt’s on the meaning of Life Life and soul, the contrast of finite and infinite The land that rises with its bestowed role

The voices that cry out as we plunged into the battlefield Even if my throat were to be slit, I will keep shouting For the happiness of myself and others, my altruistic heart keeps going on The timbre of world peace now sounds nostalgic Let it ring out

From this one microphone, this song will connect once again I am not offering words such as ostentation, vanity, or greed But my very life in itself, I am selling piece by piece Relish yourself to your heart’s content on my flesh and body

The contradictions and absurdity of our murky, chaotic society Drink it all in one gulp This is the essence of the power of words, true vitality, meaning and significance of life, To be inherited with abundance and triumph

There’s no need to be frightened or worry anymore If you have already put together that death is certain That even then you cannot escape the 7 Deadly Sins Calmly hold it close, just as you are, all your worries The future is waiting for us to complete our unfinished work Lying in wait, clearing their throats Eagerly waiting for as long as it takes

We will set a firm foundation for the new century to come When that time comes, we shall make a sound that will shake the heavens and the earth The land will split and crawling out of it will be song and dance The voice that we shouted at the moon, and felt as if it were in vain Will reach the moon in 32 days Devote yourself to the one before your eyes From the bottom of one’s heart to another, the seed of peace Together, slowly, one step at a time, we will move forward

We are all God’s creatures!

From now on, let us all entrust our lives to another, together!

[starsofang]

CALL OF THE SEA / PART THIRTEEN

pirate poly!141 x f!reader tw: NSFW, MDNI, heavy topics such as death, blood, and past trauma mentioned, lots of tension in this chapter masterlist

When a group of unhinged pirates invade your small village, you're whisked away from your peaceful home and thrown on to a voyage out at sea. Forced to obtain a new role as their medic, you have no choice but to accept your fate as you join their forces and aid them in their treacherous travels.

“Shadow’s Peak,” Price began, pointing to the circled island that seemed to be parted from all of its neighboring ones, “is where Graves resides when he’s not at sea. Nobody’s been to the island that’s been able to return home. It’s cursed to many, deemed uninhabitable.”

“If you have never visited it, then how do you know?” you risked asking.

Price looked up from the map, a frown on his face. “Ghost,” he answered, and you let out a sound of recognition. “You must understand that Graves is known amongst the people as a danger, same as us. People see monsters when they see pirates, but Graves lives up to the name.”

You trailed your finger along the map, studying the remote island and the ink around it. It looked as if Price had been the one to sketch it out himself, rather than a merchant selling it with the island displayed.

Monsters, you thought. For a long time, you were in the same boat as others. Pirates were never in good fortune. They were a rarity, but when they appeared on land in the public, you’d heard the stories. They almost never ended well.

“I do not think you are monsters,” you murmured quietly, more so to yourself than anything. Still, Price cocked his head, eyes locked in on you as you kept your own focused on the map.

“Even now, after everythin’ we’ve done?” he asked, watching the way your fingers flattened against the map. “You do not view us in the light everybody sees is in?”

You finally looked up at him, and you felt your breath catch in your throat uncomfortably. Your gaze flickered over his face, down to the frown lines permanently etched into his skin, and the way his eyebrows tugged together in heavy doubt.

“Perhaps at first, I did,” you admitted honestly. His expression didn’t falter, and he seemed to be expecting that answer. “I do not now. I have seen the true monster and where it hides. It is not you.”

Price blinked, softening. A look of relief passed over him. “We have done horrible things,” he muttered. “We are prepared to do more until we can no longer. I truly hope you’re aware of what you are agreein’ to, dove.”

You pressed your lips together. You contemplated, though you knew your answer and had already made it previously. You knew the moment Graves invaded your mind and filled it with parasites that he was the true monster in your world and not Price or his men.

It didn’t make their doings any better, not did it excuse it. But you knew they were trying, and that was all you could do in return.

Perhaps you were an idiot for thinking so.

“You will protect me?” you asked Price, catching him off guard.

“With my life,” he confirmed instantly. “I will not allow you to be harmed. I swear on it.”

You watched his finger cross an X over his chest. You didn’t know why it made your heart pick up its pace.

He was swearing to you, on behalf of him and his men, to keep your life as untouched as possible. It was an oath that was to be taken serious. Price was devoting his life to yours the same he did with Soap, Gaz, and Ghost as their Captain.

“What is your plan, Captain?” You gestured to the map, right at Shadow’s Peak that sat on the paper in its lonesome wake. “With Graves. What exactly is the outcome you wish for?”

Price looked at Shadow’s Peak briefly, his eyes hardening. The mood in the room shifted, and the heaviness weighed on your chest when you took a sharp breath in.

There was a protectiveness that came over him, one you were beginning to recognize when the thought of his men or you getting harmed seemed to take control of his thoughts. The idea that he cared enough for you that he placed you in the same category of priority as his men had your mind running astray.

“He has to die,” he grunted out firmly. There wasn’t an ounce of hesitation or doubt in his tone. “One way or another, I’m goin’ to kill that fuckin’ beast. For Ghost, and for you.”

Your breath hitched at the pure determination he exuded, the way his fists clenched on the table and jaw tightened until it looked painfully taut. Wide-eyed, you said nothing outwardly, though your mind was a gamble.

He was willing to kill for you. He was willing to die for you.

You shouldn’t be thinking that way. It was crude even being flattered by the prospect of it, yet your heart and mind were both in unity with how you were growing increasingly flustered.

When Price’s gaze met yours, and the hardness immediately softened and was replaced with a distant tenderness filled with words unsaid, you weren’t sure how much longer your thoughts could be suppressed.

“I’m goin’ to fuckin’ kill him, dove,” he said softly, a stark contrast to the venomous words being spoken.

Your fingernails dug into your palms, fists growing clammy and restless by your sides.

“I understand,” you whispered with a curt nod.

Price’s eyes flickered over your features, the silence growing between you two. His hand furled and unfurled on the table, fighting with itself to not reach out and touch you.

“You look tired,” he murmured, tearing his gaze away. “You should go get some rest.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but quickly snapped it shut when you realized. Price seemed to be in just as much a whirl of confused emotions as you. He was giving you an out, while also expressing his desire to be alone.

You could respect that. After all, you truly were tired, given your earlier sleep was interrupted by the cruel, cold hands of death knocking at your doorstep.

“Alright,” you agreed softly. “You should rest as well, Captain. You wear yourself out too much.”

Price looked up at you in surprise, expression furrowing. He bristled, slumping with a quiet chuckle under his breath. Shaking his head to himself, he spoke. “I have never been the one told to rest. It is usually me doin’ the biddin’.”

You smiled, watching his every movement as he sat in his chair, melting into it. “Perhaps you need to hear it more often,” you reckoned in amusement.

Price smiled back, and you did your damn hardest to ignore the low ache it gave you in your chest. “Perhaps I do,” he hummed. “Go on and rest, dove. We will talk in the mornin’.”

You nodded briefly, shooting him a farewell before retreating out of his quarters and into the night. The Captain watched as you left, eyes lingering on the door even after your absence, before forcing himself to bed, only because you told him to.

Strange girl, he thought to himself, yet his heart thought otherwise.

Upon entering your shared quarters, you nearly flung up in surprise to see Soap meddling about. Your clothes were spread out on his bed, and the miniature telescope you bought for Gaz was in his hands, held up to his eye as he peered through it curiously.

“What are you doing?” you asked suspiciously, eyes narrowed in on the telescope.

Soap startled, dropping the telescope from his eye and clenching it between his hand. “Dove!” he exclaimed. “Give a man a warnin’, will ye?”

You mumbled an apology, stepping towards the bed and eyeing your clothes. “Why are you going through my things?”

“Ach, I’m a nosy lad. Ye can’t buy all these things and not expect me to go through ‘em,” he tsked, and at your side-eyed glare, he stammered. “Don’t look at me like that. Makes me nervous.”

You let out a heavy sigh, seating yourself on the edge of the bed. You carefully grasped one of the flowy dresses you bought for yourself, thumbs running over the fabric. Its quality was rich, much richer than you were used to, and it felt soft under your touch.

“It’s pretty,” Soap hummed. “Didn’t expect ye to be into dresses like that.”

“I never had the opportunity or funds,” you explained, staring down at the dress. “Gaz was very gracious with gifting me the money.”

Soap cocked his head, looking between the dress and you. “That lad never buys me anythin’,” he huffed, taking a seat next to you. The telescope sat carefully in his lap. “And here he is, buyin’ ye a whole store.”

Your eyebrows furrowed as you looked up at him. You briefly recalled Ghost seeming just as confused by the generosity. “Is this not common?”

Soap snorted, shaking his head. “Nah. Gaz is a stickler with his money. Doesn’t like to spend it unless necessary.” He sniffed, peering down at the fabric in your lap. “He clearly didn’t care to give ye some, though.”

You were surprised, to say the least. Gaz didn’t seem the type to be cautious with his spendings, and to learn that he gave you money despite that left you just as confused.

He had no reason to do so. He was simply being generous. But now, knowing it wasn’t just something he did casually, it left you wondering.

“Strange,” you muttered to yourself. Soap gave a hum of agreement.

“What’s this, by the way?” he asked, lifting the telescope. He inspected it, turning it in his hand. “Ye don’t seem the type to use it.”

You watched as he fiddled with it, growing a sense of protectiveness. You were scared he’d break it, or worse, deem it unusable.

“Gaz’s one request was to bring him back a gift,” you explained. “I know he likes to sit and watch the sky at night when it is quiet and peaceful. I got him a telescope to make the experience better.”

Soap’s eyebrows raised and he placed the scope to his eye, frowning. “I don’t think it works, dove.”

You sighed, shaking your head. “It does not work well indoors, Soap. It is meant for distance.”

“Ah.”

He pulled it away, smoothing a thumb over the gold detailing. As if sensing your faint distress, he turned to you, holding it out. “Ye gonna give it to him?”

You took it graciously, cupping it in your palm. “Do you know where he is?”

Soap nodded, giving you a toothy smile. “North end of the deck. That’s his favorite spot.”

You noted that in your mind. Gaz was always a lonely wanderer, so it came as no surprise that he was on the opposite end of the ship, soaking in the quiet. That was something the two of you had in common.

You couldn’t help but wonder. “Do you think he will like it?” you asked, uncertain.

You felt silly, stressing yourself over whether Gaz will appreciate your gift. A gift was all it was, one he specifically told you to surprise him with, yet you found your stomach in knots.

Soap lifted a hand, giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze. When you looked at him, he was smiling softly, a hint of amusement glistening in his eyes.

“He’ll love it,” he assured kindly, and he gave you no reason to think otherwise. “Though, I also like gifts.”

You felt your lips curl up involuntarily and you laughed lightly, something Soap reflected. “There is no need to be envious, Soap,” you jested, standing from the bed. “It is but a one time thing.”

Soap beamed, eyes following you as you stood. “Just a mental note for the future,” he replied back cooly.

You shook your head, making your way towards the door with the telescope in your grasp. You felt Soap watching you, and when you turned, you stilled when he seemed to be in thought so quickly.

“I really do think the dresses are pretty, by the way,” he murmured, voice much quieter. “They… suit ye.”

Your gaze flickered over to the dresses muddled behind him before returning to him. “Thank you,” you replied warmly. “I’ll be sure to try them on tomorrow.”

Soap smiled softly, giving you a nod. You returned the favor, turning back around to leave the quarters, beginning your mission to find the mysterious pirate who loved to vanish in the night.

Your nerves grew the closer you got to the North end of the ship, and you weren’t sure why. It wasn’t as if Gaz were a danger nor a stranger, yet your heart pounded aggressively against your rib cage with every step you took.

The telescope felt infinitely heavier in your hand, and you repeatedly swiped your thumbs over the gold detailing to rid it of any grimy fingerprints and ensure it looked good as new.

Gaz was exactly where Soap said he’d be, and you instantly paused your walking, staring at his back. His gaze was towards the sky, shoulders relaxed and at ease. One knee pulled towards him while the other dangled loosely over the edge.

“Gaz?” you called out quietly as not to startle him.

Gaz’s head tilted back to look at you, and a smile graced his lips. “Hey, dove. Y’alright?”

You stepped closer until you were standing by his side, peering down at the dark abyss the ocean offered below. It was black, your eyes struggling to adjust to the waves that lapped at the ship.

“Mm. Soap told me I could find you here.”

Gaz studied you, curious. “What’s the occasion?” he asked, before his gaze dropped down to your furled hand that held the telescope.

You shifted awkwardly on your feet, before Gaz gestured for you to sit beside him. You complied, letting your legs dangle with his one over the edge, knee brushing his.

“What’s that?” he questioned in faint amusement, nodding towards the telescope.

Gosh, you didn’t know why you felt so unnerved. Perhaps it was due to this being the first time you were gifting somebody something special. You feared he wouldn’t like it, and your heart kept lurching out of your chest as if it were running a marathon.

“Your gift,” you answered, slowly reaching the telescope out. He took it carefully, immediately observing the intricate detailing. “I know you like coming out at night, so I thought it may help you see the sky better.”

Your hands furled into fists on your thighs. You kept your gaze on the sea, reveling in the breeze that came with.

Why wasn’t he saying anything?

It had knots growing in your throat that you desperately tried to swallow down.

You felt foolish and silly. The entire duration of your stay on the ship, you held your ground and stalked your claim. You remained stubborn and fearless for as much as your fragile heart could possibly take, yet all it took for your resolve to crumble was a sickening anxiety over whether or not Gaz liked his gift.

It felt like you were a little girl again, fighting for approval from the other kids in the village. Wondering why you had to be different, why they couldn’t be friendly towards you.

You felt so stupid—

“Hm. You win,” he hummed, smiling faintly to himself.

You whipped your head up to look at him. The scope was pressed to his eye as he gazed up at the stars, admiring them through a new lens.

“What?” you breathed, confused.

“Our negotiation,” he recalled, pulling the scope away to glance at you. “You win.”

You stared at him dumbly, realization creeping in. If he didn’t like your gift, you were to owe him the money back for the clothes. If he did, then you were home free.

“You like it?” you asked, unsure. You thought he was messing with you. He was secretly more of a tease than Soap, and you knew it just from the day of the negotiation alone.

“Oh, yeah. This thing is a real dime,” he assured, inspecting the telescope in his hand. “You know me better than I thought. Lucky you.”

You watched as he looked into the scope again, his other eye squinting to focus. You shifted your gaze to join him in looking up while your stomach twisted and rolled in shot nerves.

“It’s a shame I lost, but I can’t deny that this is somethin’ I would’ve killed to have had I thought of it. You did well, dove,” he praised and you felt your heart leap.

Gaz turned to you before holding out the scope. You raised your eyebrows, shaking your head and throwing your hands up in protest. “No, it’s for you—”

“Look through it, dove,” he sighed. “Give it a shot.”

You paused, glancing down at the scope. You hesitantly took it, giving Gaz a quick look before lifting the scope to your eye.

The sky was pretty before, but now, it was breathtaking to look at. You didn’t appreciate it enough before.

Through the lens, the stars twinkled brightly, waving hello. They were much easier to see, and much more beautiful up close.

You could finally understand why Gaz enjoyed his time out here. It was as if lying under a blanket of warmth, shielded away from the troubles day brought and invited into a night of oasis.

“Beautiful,” Gaz breathed out. “Am I right?”

You nodded, lost in the shining lights. It truly was, and you felt calmer than ever since your first night aboard. In the night sky, there was no Graves, nor danger waiting for you. Just blissful serenity.

You reluctantly pulled the scope away, handing it back to Gaz. He was already looking at you, and when you met eyes, he grinned, taking the scope.

“It’s a nice gift, birdie,” he said calmly. “No need to beat yourself up about it. I could feel you gettin’ all nagged up before you even arrived.”

He knew you were there? Embarrassment flooded your body and you grumbled in feigned annoyance, looking away. He snickered to himself, resuming his time with the scope.

The air filled with a light silence, the only sound being the crashing waves that seemed to further the peace. It was an escape from the hands of life, and you understood enough to see Gaz in a new life.

He was a pirate, through and through, but that human side of him stilled longed for a simple life. You couldn’t help but think of the last time the two of you spoke beneath a blanketed sky, when he had confessed he was a prince, yet turned to a life of crime.

“What was your life like before?” you couldn’t help but ask. “Before you were a pirate, I mean. When you were a… prince.”

Gaz made a noise under his breath, one of thought, and he slowly removed the scope, letting his hand fall into his lap.

“I had everythin’ I could ever want,” he started slowly. He made no efforts to look at you, lost in his own world.

“Then why’d you leave?” you pushed.

Gaz glanced at you from the corner of his eye before sighing through his nose. “Everythin’ can still mean nothin’,” he explained. “There was an arranged marriage between a princess from a neighboring country and I. When I flat out refused, it caused tension.”

Gaz twiddled with the telescope absentmindedly, his focus stuck on the stars. You wondered if he was embarrassed or ashamed.

“I didn’t want a lifetime of dead romance between a woman I did not want. I wanted freedom and individuality,” he continued, growing solemn by the second. You could feel the passion in his words.

“Did you run away, then?” you asked, curious. “You left the kingdom?”

Gaz snorted through his nose, though it was more bitter than amused. “I fled like a coward,” he corrected sharply. “War broke out the moment I left. Blood and ash was the only thing left of my home.”

You gawked in surprise, feeling a tightness in your chest. It seemed all too familiar, in which your home was destined with the same fate. By none other than him, too. It was dramatic irony.

“Your family?” you whispered, and he shrugged.

“Dead, surely.” His fiddling with the telescope grew more consistent. “I wouldn’t know.”

You frowned, turning away from him when he began to seem uncomfortable. Whether it was with your questions or simply his past, you weren’t sure, but you hated ruining a decent moment. They were rare as is.

“I apologize,” you murmured lowly. Gaz perked up, throwing you a weary look.

“Hm?” He sat up straighter, shifting so his body faced towards you. “Why are you apologizin’?”

“I made things uncomfortable for you,” you replied, deflated. “It is a difficult topic, I understand. So, I apologize.”

Gaz went quiet, staring at you with eyes that felt like they’d pierce through your soul. Then, he smiled, tilting his head to the side and eyeing you down. “That is to nobody’s fault but my own,” he assured kindly. “You lost your home just as much as I. I am not uncomfortable talkin’ with you.”

You lifted your head up enough to side eye him, testing the waters. He didn’t appear upset, especially not with you, to your surprise. You’re used to Price having an easy temper to set off, yet Gaz acted as if no anguish had been spoken.

You felt relieved.

“I am glad,” you commented stiffly, awkwardly. “I do not feel uncomfortable talking to you as well.”

Gaz released a lovely laugh that filled the air, easing the previous tension you’d been building on your own. “I’m glad myself, birdie,” he retorted easily. “I appreciate the gift.”

The gift sat in his palm, no longer being fiddled and moved at an anxious rate. It sat calmly, his grip light on it, as if he was now worried about holding it too tightly and damaging it.

“Soap told me you do not normally offer luxuries to them, nor yourself,” you recalled. “Was I a special case?”

Gaz hummed in thought, a smile gracing his radiant features. You had to stifle your own beating heart and sweaty palms. “I feel bad for you,” he confessed without a moment’s hesitation. “I figured an act of kindness could go a long way with you. It seems it has.”

He shook the telescope teasingly before letting it rest back on his lap. You smiled small, happy to know he truly enjoyed the gift and not simply out of pity.

“You do not have to feel bad for me,” you assured. “I will be quite alright.”

“Will you?”

You cocked your head in question.

“It is a lot to take on for a bird like yourself. You should be out there, livin’ how you want. Now stuck on here with us,” Gaz said. His expression was unreadable, but you could sense the slight concern.

“I could say the same for you, could I not?” you replied with a shrug. “You also seem to suffer similar fate.”

Gaz quirked his eyebrows, pursing his lips. He mulled over your words, giving them a decent thought. Truthfully, he knew you were correct. Perhaps that’s why he liked you.

“You win again, dove,” he replied softly, a warm smile on his face.

You smiled back, unable to hold back the sudden burst of feeling that coursed through your veins. Gaz made you feel heard, and under the concept of moonlight and stars, it made everything feel much more of a rush.

Your eyes locking on to one another’s made you nervous, even more so that he did it so shamelessly. It seemed as if the two of you got lost in time, the world around you freezing. The sound of waves faded away, the rocking of the boat seizing to a halt.

“Thank you for the telescope,” Gaz thanked, voice soft as ever. You nearly missed it.

You fumbled for words, wanting to look away but unable to. “It is nothing,” you murmured, fisting the fabric of the old night shirt you wore and had yet to discard.

Your daze seemed to falter momentarily when you felt a finger graze your cheek, the touch gentle as it mapped out your skin. Gaz seemed just as entranced as you, and in that moment, you grew fearful.

Fearful of what?

You couldn’t figure it out.

The distance between the two of you seemed closer than ever, and you don’t recall either of you moving. The realization made you jolt, forcefully tearing your eyes away and leaning back.

“I am glad you like your gift,” you muttered, flustered. You made quick work to stand on your feet, stumbling in the process. “I should rest. Enjoy your night, Gaz.”

You didn’t stick around to see the surprised look on Gaz’s face, nor how it morphed into crestfallen. You left as quickly as you could, making haste to the shared quarters so you could lock yourself in, pray to the Gods you fell asleep before he returned, and that Soap wasn’t awake to burden you with any questions.

[monokyubey]

Catching his eyes

Denji angst time!!!

The soft light filters in through the nearby window, casting pillars of light onto his soft blonde hair. His expression is surprisingly tranquil as he sleeps, his eyes closed and his mouth hanging open lightly. Although this reveals razor sharp teeth, it seems unthreatening in this morning light. Seeing Denji this peaceful almost makes it worth it. Almost. 

When he came to you in the middle of the night to lament to you about his suffering, you found it almost impossible to turn him away. As always, you would be his comfort when he had nowhere else to turn. You wanted to help him, after all, you knew how hard he always had it. He had once told you that you were similar to his old dog, whom he could share his dreams with. That you would always listen to him. That’s what you wanted to be for him. But it was so damn hard. Afterall, these dreams of his always starred a girl he could never quite get, and one you could never quite be. 

Makima. 

“Makima.” 

As you said it quietly to yourself, even the name felt wrong on your tongue. It felt like poison, a slow working but fatal poison. Perhaps that is what it was to your relationship with the confused boy in front of you. As he slept on your couch, you could almost imagine that her name would never cross his lips again. But of course, you doubted when he actually rose for the morning that it would take more than five minutes for her name to be brought up by the excited boy. Sometimes you wondered if it was actually love in his heart for the red haired woman, or he simply didn’t know how to express his true feelings. Despite all the time he had spent pouring out his heart to you, you still weren’t quite sure.

When had this happened to you? When had you allowed yourself to fall into this confusing chaotic relationship that would never be a relationship? Afterall, Denji was unaware of your feelings. Even if he knew, he was eager for romance so he might accept even with no feelings of reciprocation. The flame in his heart would always burn bright for the girl with the golden eyes. Before Denji, you had never seen Makima in this way. In your brief interactions with her, she had always seemed untouchable, but not unkind. She seemed to still care for her job and the people around her. Yet now, Denji had put a filter over your eyes. Sometimes you could see what he saw, you could see why she was so perfect. Still untouchable, but now she was worthy of adoration, worthy of worship. It was true, you could see why Denji had easily fallen for her. And yet the pain in your heart whenever she came into your gaze remained. 

Perhaps it wasn’t just seeing her. It was seeing him. His expression. His adoration. He was usually so loud, so obnoxious, so uncaring about others’ opinions. Yet around her, he grew silent. Respectful. This was a phenomenon you had never seen Denji experience with anyone else. 

Its not that you wanted that with him. You didn’t want Denji’s worship. Even asking for his love felt too much. Perhaps you just wanted his consideration. Just wanted to be in the running for his affection. 

Sometimes you could imagine it was there. When he came to you late at night, and you would offer him tea made with way too much sugar (just the way he likes it), a piece of toast with his favorite jam, and a patient ear; you could just barely see it. Just hardly there, glimmering below the surface, you could see something. Some emotion in his eyes. You didn’t quite know what it was. You didn’t want to give yourself false hope, but just like him, you liked to dream. 

Afterall, there had to be a reason he came to you. There had to be. Something inside of you refused to accept his reason of “Power would make fun of me” or “No way I’m talking to Topknot, he’s my rival!”. You never considered yourself an egotistical person, but you had to be special. Denji wouldn’t have chosen you otherwise. You were his confidant, a role you took with honor. You would always be there you this strange boy who had wormed his way into your heart. 

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The sound of an alarm startled you from your thoughts, even startling Denji awake as well. As you walked over to click it off, you heard him groan lightly. 

“Ugh, thanks for setting an alarm for me. Aki would be on my ass if I was late again”. 

There it was again. You didn’t think you’d heard him say “thank you” to anyone else but you. And of course, Makima. But that had to mean something, didn’t it? 

“No problem. Do you want some breakfast before you head out?”

 Your eyes dragged over his tired frame. He was still dressed in his public safety uniform, although much more disheveled now. His tie was undone, his shirt was half unbuttoned, and everything he was wearing was wrinkly. If you had more time, you would offer to fix his clothes for him, even going as far as to get out your rarely used iron, sitting forgotten in your closet. However, you knew he was under a time crunch, so his heavily creased clothes would have to do. His eyes, though they looked tired, lit up slightly at the prospect of food. A fleeting thought crossed your mind about how you wished he would look at you like that. How pathetic you are. 

“Hell yeah! But it’ll have to be pretty quick or I won’t have time to get back to Aki’s before work.” He grinned as he spoke though, clearly more excited about breakfast than worried about what Aki would do to him if he was tardy. You turned your back to him, rummaging through your cabinets to find the baked goods you had procured yesterday. Although giving them to Denji would require you to go out again for food sooner than you expected, it would be worth it. Despite the fact he would probably never reciprocate your emotions, you would still always yearn to keep him happy and healthy. You would remain on the sidelines for him, if it meant you could see his delighted smile become a constant. 

As you turned back to him, that very smile was on his face, his eyes aglow with happiness. Even if it wasn’t for you, you’d take it. You knew Denji would continue to come as long as you’d let him, seeking someone to listen to and in turn help him understand his complicated emotions. And you intended to always be there when he looked. You just wished he was looking at you for a different reason. And some part of you, would always wish to be the girl with the red hair and golden eyes. 

[pitchcom]

OKAY f1 heathers au post starting NOW

heather chandler: fernando - cmon. look at fernando and tell me he doesnt have heather chandler energy. he is totally a mean girl and would be perf for this role

heather duke: carlos - he is supressed mean girl and im saying this as a carlos lover. he wants to put forth a perfect face until its publicly acceptable to be bitchy and charles is just the unfortunate bearer of that. i do think in this au he would be more passive aggressive mean then singing “kill yourself” mean but those are just little bits. i also think he has the capability to go mad with power

heather macnamara: charles - HONESTLY i think that he and carlos could be slightly interchangable based on your perception of them BUT i do think charles pulls off the innocent charmer look better so hes heather mac. but dont forget that heather mac is a heather for a REASON and she is also a shittalker so charles DOES have a mean bone in his body DONT BE FOOLED. charles here also plays into the macnamara/veronica angle bc he also has a bond with oscar

veronica sawyer: oscar - tbh i dont have a clear reason except it just feels right LOL like the narratives all line up … the carcar beef and the veronica/duke beef … the mcnamara/sawyer connection … loscar and martha/veronica …. i fear it all fits too well. also i think it would be funny for fernando to be a bitchy ghost haunting oscar for half the musical

JD: lando - this is mostly because hes been a menace lately and i DO believe he would be dramatic enough to blow up a school + fake their suicide note because someone broke up with him for killing 3 other people

martha dunnstock: logan - tragic unpopular bestie of the loser -> popular main character that gets hurt and left behind because of it. need i say more

ram & kurt: max/daniel OR pierre/esteban - no super strong reason for either of them except they are the two duos left on the grid that can give fboy but also hidden homoerotic relationship LMAOOO

mrs flemmings: lewis - sorry have u seen his whole peace love and plants front … he is so totally the teacher. tries to be pro mental health and diversity that it feels almost fake AND hes kinda unhinged with it. a case could be argued for seb but unfortunately i need him and mark to be oscars parenes LMAOOO

okay thats all for now folks 🫡 and if anyone ever makes any art of this …. pspspsps please feed it to me (tag me)

edit: PLS DROP ME ASKS IF U WANNA DISCUSS I CANT REPLY 🙏🙏

theres also another take on this thats vaguely developing in my head where its lewis + teammates = heathers with lewis, nico, and george being heathers and lestappen being jd/veronica BUT that needs to cook some more compared to this one LOL

[moonhedgegarden]

The Liberation of Letting Go

Today, we’ll confront the a part of existence that often fills us in anxiety and regret. It is crucial to recognize that the weight we carry is not an inherent part of who we are but rather a stone we carry. In our relentless search for meaning, we become shackled by our worries, our disappointments, and the fears that loom large in our minds, these chains crafted from our own consciousness.

The universe exists not as a demanding force but as an indifferent expanse that invites us to engage with its vastness. Every star, every leaf, every pulse of life asks us to acknowledge our role within this reality. We are not isolated beings, trapped in a meaningless void; we are intricately connected to all that is. Our consciousness, that profound aspect of our being, offers us the freedom to choose, to act, and indeed, to let go.

Let’s consider today what it means to set free the burdens that anchor us in despair. Perhaps it is a lingering disappointment that gnaws at our spirit, a fear of failure that paralyzes us, or the weight of self-doubt that festers within. These are not absolute truths; they are distortions of our energy, phantoms haunting our existence. By choosing to release them, we do not deny their presence but affirm our right to inhabit life without them, to live authentically amidst the chaos.

Today, I urge you to engage in this act of liberation. Identify that which weighs upon your soul, a thought, a fear, a relationship that constricts your spirit. Acknowledge it, scrutinize it, but do not allow it to define your being. In this act of letting go, you reclaim your agency, your ability to navigate this day with clarity and intention. You are entitled to the peace that arises from unburdening your heart. In this moment of release, remember: peace is not an elusive luxury, nor is it a treasure reserved for the fortunate few. It is your birthright, a fundamental aspect of your existence. You are allowed to feel peace, to find serenity in accepting the impermanence of all things. Allow yourself to breathe deeply, to feel the sun’s warmth on your skin, and to recognize the interconnection of all life around you.

Embrace the chaotic flow of life and trust that by surrendering the worries you no longer need, you allow yourself to experience the beauty that surrounds you. The universe awaits your recognition, ready to welcome you into its vastness. May this day reveal the peace that is inherently yours, patiently waiting for your acceptance.

Write your younger self a letter. Forgive them.

Or perhaps make a playlist of songs that encompass what you’re trying to release. Dance it out. Move it out.

Create art of the worries and destroy it.

Take a walk in nature and whisper your worries to the wind. Allow them to be carried away.

Write out what positives you could learn from these fears and worries and leave the rest behind.

You are so worthy to feel settled inside yourself.

[mydahliarose]

To love oneself 🪽🃏

Parings: niiri x Michael, miiri

Fandoms: what in hell is bad?

Tags: wholesome, no smut, fluff

Synopsis: poor Michael has never learned to love himself because for his whole life hes only cared what god thinks and wants and not for his own well-being so niiri helps him find positive traits about himself in order to love himself properly.

Authors note: i was inspired by a favorite scene in a black and white french movie called angel-a but i reversed the role where niiri takes the role of the angel women in the movie where as Michael is the guy shes helping him find self love and esteem.

A beautiful evening it was today, the wind was perfectly cool and chilly enough to wrap around your arms into your lovers warmth.

But for niiri and Michael they only stood away a bit from eachother, elbows barley touching as there arms where crossed relaxing on the bridge watching the scenery of the city.

They had just finished accomplishing another extermination together a successful one at that. Now finally alone together enjoying the view, streets filled with the stains of there enemy, grinning in pride as the taboo couple enjoy the view in silence so peaceful it felt and yet something was a miss..

A soft sigh that was filled in woe caught the attention of the Harlequin demon turning her head over to see Michaels eyes ponder down in the dark streets with flickering street lights.

" Angelica whats the matter?" She eagirly wanted to be closer to his touch but best until he signaled her to do so for now.

He wont lie but Michael really did appreciate niiris concern during time like this when his mind wonders of to not so great places. such as judgement from the heavens, if they found out how filthy hes become with associating himself with a demon. To think back when his beloved lucifer hyung was so called veiled his eyes by such unclean creatures only to have been fated by the most irony of all things to happen in his life, to fall in love with one. In the end he accepted these feelings, yet it still didnt change the fact that the fear creepily lingered deep within his psyche slowly trying to take full of him. Before it could get any worse he finally spoke, breaking the silence between them. " Filthy...im filthy, thats whats the matter..." The sound of defeat was loud and clear to niiri now. He was beginning to resent himself over something that should never feel sinful. He moves his head,leaning against hers, aching for those comforting words of hers to echo in his mind to overshadow any negativity within him. Her hand moves to caress his raven locks, soothing him down in the process. " How cruel~ how dare your consciousness play evil tricks on you and make you see ugliness of our relationship.." niiri tip toes her fingertips around his scalp, then traces them around " Its never been ugly my dear, its nothing but beauty what you and i have~" and yet he couldnt see that. No matter how much he tried it always creeped up. And god how he hated feeling this way about himself. " Oh dolly..." He lifts a hand to cup her face. " Why must i suffer?" Then niiri tilts his head face hers. Luckily the streets where completely empty for them to be a little bit vulnerable with each other.

" let me ask you this my angelica~ do you love yourself?" Michael only blinked in confusion of her surprising question. "Pardon?" A small chuckle leaves niiris lips. " The fact you dont have a proper answer speaks volume deary~" with the same hand niiri moves from his head to shoulders, rubbing them to avoid any outburst just in case. " ...is this a joke? If course i love myself! God created me i am the angel of decapitation and bring justice by destroying every demon on sight! To rid of this hellhole of its sin! If god were still here hed praise me!...if only he where here to see what i had just accomplished...". As soon as he sniffled immediately niiri used her blouse to help wipe some tears away. " Thanks dolly..." " And you just proved my point, you don't actually love yourself. You love more your god than you do yourself..." She scoots him closer to her. " You love him so much that his opinion matters most, your afraid of his opinion about you and me more than anything yeah? More than what the angels would think?" He said nothing except a gentle nod. His face hiding on her chest. " Oh Michael...you really do suffer so much." She looked up the sky to watch god himself for a moment, Michaels spent year of his life only caring about gods words and ideology that hes never bothered to think much for himself, and the fact he was ok with that worried niiri alot.

The doll demon herself did love god, after all without him Michaels existance would not exist. She has always been grateful of that. God fated them to be together for a good reason she was most certain of that. Perhaps this was an opportunity to finally help Michael see the purity of there love. She was going to help him find love within himself, to finally see that. something thats been long overdue to be done. " Come with me, i want to show you your worth somewhere private." She lends a hand out. " How could an angel like myself be worthy of anything now that ive sinned..." Michaels body felt a force walking him with niiri, she dragged him to a nearby public restroom. "Wait here let me inspect" She went in to check around if any demons where hiding. Thankfully none where seen seemed many retreated back to there base. " All clear, now come inside~" hesitantly he walked in, just to make sure and double checked he inspected each stalls and even the small closet sure enough he felt much better. " Stand here next to me" when he walks foward he looks at niiri with wonder in his face as to what she is up to, she then points at the mirror. " My angelica tell me...what do you see?" Crossing her arms waiting for an answer. What on earth did she mean by this? It was obvious it was just them two, or perhaps she wanted him to look outside the box? Michael pondered as he stared deeply. " I suppose..." His eyes ponder to niiri, due to a fight her face looked messy and cracked. Her pigtails let loose as strands of her hair scattred in uneven places. That didnt take any beauty away from her infact it only made her more beautiful. Michael always found her bloodshed mode aftermath to be far more breathtaking combine that with her joy his heart skipped and so inevitably he blushed. " I see a beautiful demon who took my breathe away..." Niiri was caught of guard then smiled with a giggle. " Ahh thank you my angel~" gives a small peck on his cheek.

" but what else do you see?" Michael looked back towards the mirror again this time struggling to see what could possibly be there? "Nothing?" Two hands where met behind his shoulder " nuh uh~ there is something worth seeing, look closer. What do you see? Anything worth seeing in that handsome face of yours?" She gently caresses it. Michael Became nervous, gulping down his insecurities. A small smile creeped up when she mentioned his beauty. But what on earth is there besides that? Surely his divine existence should be enough just what on earth was she seeing that he was failing to see? The more he stared at himself the more irritated he was feeling. That was until when he looked deep within his own eyes in his reflection he could see something...pain years of bottled up emotion's from the past and now. That golden eye of his held it all, a very painful memory. But the other eye, blue as the clearest sky with a lilac circled around it, filled with outmost pride of bieng an angel of authoration and confidence. These eyes have always represented himself and now he is seeing it clearer as his head was slowly getting into a better mindset to understand himself.

" a mask...a mask that shield s me from unveiling the truth of how i feel..." " And what do you feel?" He tried to find the courage to say it ". broken...numb...angry.... explosive...and tired." Niiri wrapped her arms behind him. " Your right Michael, you do feel that. And you feel it everyday. But when your in my dollhouse i see a change. Your happier, because you can finally be yourself without the constant expectations of heavens law...you feel free there but once thats over you regress back to that awful state...my angelica." She tightly squeezes him. Michael let out a shaking sigh, feeling extremely vulnerable at the moment he could break down at any moment. "Niiri...d-dont let go of me..if you do, i fear i-ill..." "I would never let go of you in this moment darling dont worry~ im here, always making sure you stay together~" he turned to place a kiss onto her broken face. " This is why your my savior.." This was a step needing to happen to find self love and it was slowly working he just needed to find it within himself by seeing past his flaws.

" look again my angelica, what else do you see? If you can get past all those flaws of yours what else is there?". Niiri eagirly awaits for him to see the spark shes always seen enough something so precious yet years of bieng locked away for him to see. Scared, he looked back into the mirror, face in shambles as he looks at his imperfect self. Closer he looked within himself. " Intimidating?" " Haha yeah you are! But what else?" " This is beginning to get irritating my dear what is it that you see in me that i dont? " She points to his eyes in there reflection. " Closer love, look deep into yourself like youve never done." He annoyingly sighed but he was so curious as to what it was he was missing. He looked sharply at himself anxiety rising that he had to face his weaknesses in order to find the answer to something so simple, until he realized. All hes ever described himself where things givin to him as titles by god, the things he was ment to represent. No wonder he couldnt see much else about himself, all hes ever known was those things he just said to niiri. Christ for once he felt at loss. Was there something he was known for positively about himself? Infact there was. " Do you need a hint? " " Dare I say yes?" With a sudden sound of beads shaking gained michaels attention immediately, he knew exactly what niiri pulled out that without even thinking he snatched from her. Nuzzling his favorite toy that he hadnt touched in a good while. " My sunshine! Oh how ive missed you!" He laughed with such enthusiasm that all his worries went away with a snap of a finger except it was a toy in this case. " My dolly thank you, this just made my day entirely!" She smiles " now look back at the mirror and youll finally have your answer that youve been desperately looking for~" When he did he noticed a huge change within himself. He was happy. He looked more peacful, not a look of ready to kill on sight for once.

No infact just like his priced possession his sunflower toy. He looked playful, cheerful and kind. This was how he used to be back when his big brother was still around until he wasnt and that all changed. It was all returning back to him, he finally sees the old love he used to have of himself right before him. " I....i am happy and i am kind...perhaps in my own unique way i am that not alot of people see but i am." " Yes yes! And? " Nods up and down looking towards the toy another hint. Michael tilts his head looking at it and he smiles. " I remember when lucifer once told me i looked as happy as this sunflower when i smiled..." Such wonderful memories these where to Michael that he hugged his toy close to him finding comfort in it. " When i look at myself, i am as happy as a sunflower..." Then with a finger he touches the edge of his lips as he smiles. " When i think about that, i realize now how much i love my own smile...i love when I'm actually happy..." Clutching his childhood toy tears of joy begin forming. Finally he properly began to love himself. The heartfelt moment made niiri clap for him she was so proud of him her mission was a success. " Bravo angelica! You see? You finally gave yourself love you filled your wounds with nurture thats been long needed!" She picked Michael up, swinging him around. Both of them laughing with each other. " I certainly did dolly, i dont think i recall ever feeling this positive about myself in recent times."

She has to agree thou the most time shes seen him like this was in her playhouse to play make believe but to see him be more like that in reality was a breath of fresh air. " And you know why that's it Michael?" He cocks an eyebrow to her statement " It did not just start with loosing god but your brother aswell" he grew silent but stayed composed in an attempt to listen. " He was your big brother, and brothers are ment to love and protect his family. But when he did what he did that day..." She had thought about doing this for a long while and now she is taking the opportunity in doing so. She places her delicate fingers onto his fabricated eye. " N-niiri?" Oh how he loved this womens care. " You felt betrayed, heartbroken and confused that it left your heart filled with a void of revenge and thus no room for love anymore not even with yourself. Am i wrong?" " No i suppose your not..." All Michaels ever seen is the color red, from anger to rage like no other always focusing on taking out demons for what they took from him has taken such a heavy toll on him. Without proper support of a close one he felt lost but finally he didn't feel that way anymore. Demon or not he was glad to have somone like niiri who was so pateint with him never giving up on wishing his psyche to get better one day. " You know Michael...i relate to your tragedy alot" he was taken back from that comment " wait you do?" She nods " back in hades i was created to be the playmate of his majesty Leviathan, we where like brother and sister to each other" he was shocked to hear this sudden information " all this time you both had a familial relationship?! Consider me intrigued" niiri laughs. " I was pretty much created by his legion in order to make him happy and distract him from what happend to him when he got captured..." Suddenly niiri's joy faded, looking tensed up. Michael took note of this and offered to hold her in his arms, moving her face to lay on the crook of his neck

" its ok if you dont want to talk about it my dear, sometimes it pains me to even open up about lucifer hyung~ i understand you." Like a gentleman he caresses her hair, treating her the same as she has for him in his most vulnerable moments. " I failed him Michael...i failed to make him happy! his court was not happy with me i was alienated!" Michael squeezes her in his embrace, not to tight he wouldn't want to break her. " You told him you where an angel didnt you?" Silence. Warm tears stained his white button up shirt but he did not mind it. If she needed to let it all out so be it. " I did...he at first took it as me bieng a doll doing it as roleplay until he realized i was serious..." Michael seemed to understand a bit better how she was treated back at her home knowing now the king of envy knew of her delusion. Although he did wonder if they ever attempted to help her. Regardless it seems shes put those days behind her but the wounds linger on her forever. " I dont think theyd understand you to the fullist my dear, however if one day you ever reconcile ill support you. Just as you support me." He lifts her chin up to look directly at his eyes, they felt ethereal to look at so much so niiris woe went away with how mesmerizing they where. " You think hed miss his sister?" Michael shrugs " i cannot say for sure. But maybe he does who knows." For once she felt a small ray of hope light up within her but leviathan was sure as hell scary she certainly doesn't plan on approaching her past anytime soon or if she even wants to. " And i pray that one day you and your lucifer hyung reconcile and be a family again. If im bieng honest i think you have a higher chance than mine." Her strand of her that was blocking her face was then moved to the side of her ear by Michael. " Never say never my angel."

With the shake of his rattler he lends it to niiri " since your my lover you are the person i trust most and thus I trust you with the most precious thing to me." Her eyes widen " oh Michael i couldn't! " He stops her from giving it back " but you could, besides i think mr sunshine needs to comfort you most right now". He says confidently. " Ill be frank Mr feathers, i appreciate this token of affection very much and ill treasure it!" Wraps her arms around his shoulders. " is it greedy of me to say i want to be comforted by both you and mr sunshine?" Michael rolls his eyes but in a playful manner for her " oooh fine~ ill indulge in your sin of greed~" without warning he picks her up bridal style ready to go back home. " Woah woah woah there! Atleast let me check if no ones outside first!. " A soft snort leaves Michaels mouth. " Nonsense, it seems we scared all the demons away from this area. Ill fly us out like nothing ever happened." Both of them cackle in sync laughing from there devious battle from hours ago that the lower ranking demons needed to retreat from them. " Alright lets go " "Wait angelica" " Hm?" "Im very proud of you today." One last time she leaves a kiss this time on his nose. "And im proud of you for opening up to me about your past. I feel even closer to you knowing we both went thru the same thing." " Now you know your not alone" with a smile from both. Michael lifts his wings and flys out of the area with niiri, a long day it was for them but worth it in the end .

End

Angel dividers by @/Chocoperrito

[prettymeredith]

The Complete Guide to Becoming the Perfect Submissive Housewife, Section 2: Subjugation, Sub Section B:

~ Servitude ~

There are two words that often come to mind when one hears the word Housewife; Homemaker and Caretaker, with much more emphasis on the first. Cooking and cleaning without messing up your hair and makeup is only a fraction of the battle. Not only should you be fully dedicated to the fuctionality of the home itself, but you are in service those living in it as well.

Careing for any Domestic Superiods goes far beyond clean clothing, hot meals, and tidy living spaces. There is a connection that must be made on a personal level, and without this relationship you are no more than a simple handmaid with a fancy rock on their finger. Build a connection, and you shall find complacency in all that you do for your Domestic Superiors.

Obedience - This piece is so crucial and so obvious yet it still needs to be said; Do as you are told. The power dynamic between you and a Domestic Superior is the groundwork that allows for ideal Submissive behavior. You will find yourself happiest in your role when you discover that big decision making is not part of your jurisdiction, and that by doing the simple tasks within homemaking and caretaking can bring forward more support and joy than one can imagine.

As Housewife, you do not question the motives of the Domestic Lead. The old phrase "Stand by your Man" is one that should be kept close to your heart. Questioning a Domestic Lead or superior is acceptable, as long as you manage to tread lightly and accept the answers rhat you are given. Being nosey and opinionated are not qualities of a good Submissive Housewife.

Pampering - To pamper a Domestic Lead or Superior is a skill that takes time to master, and is different for each person. The intent is not to spoil a Superior, but to make them feel relaxed and cared for through both their physical and emotional needs.

Learning to give a great massage is a skill that can keep on giving. Knowing when to offer a favorite meal, snack, or beverage may also bring joy, served to them in a place like the bathrub or the bedroom. Little gifts of affection are also great little tools of pampering. Compliments can also go a long way.

Do keep in mind that there is a line between pampering and spoiling or babying. Yes a Superior will appreciate assistance with getting dressed, undressed, washed, etc. However these are people whom are perfectly capable of doing things for themselves; do not over burden them.

Bonding - Emotional support is a pillar that must hold firm, being perhaps the strongest piece of a healthy relationship. Which is why it is incumbent for you to take serious effort to bond with your Domestic Superiors, and most importantly your Domestic Lead.

Find out what their interests are, and show gunine self interest in wanting to know more about them. Having something to bond over is a strong foundation for more connection points to be made. What their shows, root for their sports teams, support their hobbies. Remember, its key to show interest and ket them open up towards you, do not insert yourself forcibly.

Home Decor - Now you may be wondering why a topic such as home decor is not listed previously somewhere with house keeping. This is because decor is what turns a place from anyones house, apartment, condo, etc. into a Home.

Dress the house like you would yourself; in things that your Domestic Superior likes to see. This task is easier done once more connection points have been made, and you have an understanding of who they truley are. This is their happy place where they should feel comfortable, surrounded by what makes them at most peace.

Body Care & Worship - Least we forget some of the key factors of total and complete Submissiveness; Worshiping one's body. Body worship can happen in many forms, and different people enjoy different areas and styles over others. One common thread that is always found is that this humbling act is necessary to both empower your Superiors as well as remind you of your proper place.

As mentioned, there are many kinds of Body Worship. The most common arguably being Foot Worship. Every good Housewife should know how to properly worship a pair of feet, and it is encouraged to perform foot worship as often as comfortably possible. Both research and practice are encouraged to improve your skillset of Body Worship & Care.

Sexual Gradification - As Housewife you have a certain, and many times unspoken, responsibility to satisfy your Domestic Lead's sexual deseries. It is your duty to not only indulge, but also initiate at times, sexual acts that are intended to gratify them. It is imperative to remember here that their needs come first and formost.

With only expressed permissions from your Domestic Lead may you ever take part is sexual gratification with another Superior. You are a Housewife, not a public Fuckdoll. Unless your Domestic Lead calls for you being that kind of support pillar, you are not to activley engage in any kind of activity in that manner with others.

Servitute is a delicate balance of responsibility, duty, and attention. It is not only about putting your best foot foward but letting your Superiors take lead in the 'dance' and follow along step for step. It starts with learning your Superiors, building that relationship foundation, and ultimetly growing. Be the Housewife that you want your Lead to brag about.