#its something I've learned but still struggle with sometimes

[saltyowlets]

Fandom Concerns: Cullen, Solas, and Forgiveness Deserved?

Something something, the narrative and character parallels between Cullen and Solas are quite fascinating in a microcosm but also reflective of the potential problematic nature of their romances in regards to analysis and meta talk.

This is not to say their romances are bad- even if I still struggle with the appeal of Solas' romance (just being transparent here), I enjoy his character. The central issue is the consistent narrative I've seen brought up, coddling and fixing both men in regards to their conflicts, Cullen with his lyrium and trauma, and Solas with his own past and actions in DATV.

In Cullen's case, it is not difficult to avoid such a narrative, but once you dig just a bit deeper, you find how easily it is to fall into the trap of coddling when addressing the major problems in his story. Fandom reaction can be mixed when faced with these plot points. Usually, it becomes a narrative of wanting to fix him or, worse, ignoring the issue altogether. If this was just about enjoying his character for fluff, then fine, take no mind in what I say. I love fluff as well and sometimes, i just want to enjoy a sweet narrative.

However, I am pointing towards more lenient analysis of Cullen and his arc that I have seen pop up through meta or even some analytical fanfiction (or so-called)

I don't find fault in people wanting to enjoy a simple and generally romantic story/fanfic. I also love them but for ones that try to somewhat address or tackle his story with critical thought, I take issue with the themes of the LI being the center and cause of his healing journey or sometimes lack thereof. It is not wrong to want to help and fix your partner, but at what cost?

It is not healthy to ignore the valid reasons why Cullen should have had a redemptive arc instead of a healing one. Relationship with Cullen becomes questionable in a realistic sense post game. Points and concerns of his past will prop up. That is the nature of relationships. To willingly allow his problematic biases and fears remain, to allow the narrative that love fixes a man, a woman fixes a man? That's what I take issue the most, why I cannot understand the vehemently denial of the necessity of redemption. This isn't about how you enjoy Cullen, it's about acting as if there are no faults in a man who actively seeks redemption for his actions. Aren't you taking away from his own narrative by claiming no fault in himself?

Some of my favorite Cullen fics and ships have no input in his redemptive story, but at the very least, they aren't built rose colored.

This is all the same for Solas. I have seen recently of narratives that leave Solas blameless for all his actions, pointing to all other people in canon such as Varric and Rook. And egregiously, Mythal.

Is this reflective of his disappointing narrative in DATV or the brewing sentiment towards Solas after a decade? Could be both. What is true is that his story falls directly in the trope of women (in this case 3) fixing him. Mythal, Morrigan, and Lavellan, for the good ending. It takes no time to address the faults of the man, directly letting him essentially go scotfree. Solas is not a good man nor entirely a bad man. Instead of understanding that characterization, we have a story that initially treats him as a proud, selfish man but ends with him, good man? This fault in his narrative becomes reflective of how the fandom treats his character, jumping from villification and obsession

Playing DATV on its own, Solas' character is muddy at best and contradicting at worse. This grey area makes it easy for certain groups to coddled and over-excuse Solas without even acknowledgments of the literal deaths at his hands. His appeal was never about being a misunderstood character- his appeal is about a character who is trapped with ideals and regrets of days long gone. His inability to change and learn is his downfall, so to have people say he did nothing wrong, that he was justified, erases the crux of what made Solas even a character.

What I say is never out out of hatred to those that enjoy their characters and romances, God knows how much I love Cullen. I literally talked about him every day for nearly 5 months.

But I will always take issue with people who purposefully disregard the blatant issues these men have and how misogynistic themes can be presented by fandom and its culture.

It becomes even more worrisome when this resolute refusal to accept both of their narrative issues and problematic history turns into talking points that mirror alt right pipelines and conservative culture.

Grants, I've been in the DA fandom for 5 months, 4 on tumblr. My observations are more of what I see in the current day and maybe it's limited, but I don't speak out of my ass when I see some weird shit growing in the corners.

[detaia]

@eleven-of-the-woods @raymusterio @rainnism @mikko-lyn @titan-god-helios uquiz uquiz uquiz

Have you ever wondered what flower from Victorian flower language you are? I have! I have a quiz about it! (my credentials are that I have a spreadsheet of over 600 flower meanings)

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Actually, I think this does link in with a wider conversation that I have been thinking for a while Tumblr maybe needs to hear.

There's a common meme on this site now that no one here has any reading comprehension skills. The best one is, of course, the original "No offense but reading comprehension on this site is piss poor/How dare you say we piss on the poor" post, which gave rise to the nickname "pissing-on-the-poor website". There's also the "I like pancakes/How dare you say waffles are terrible" one. Both of these are great, because they're silly jokey ways to show two closely related phenomena that are probably the commonest ways to fail a reading comprehension check.

The first is someone reading certain catchphrases or buzzwords in the post, and based on their own biases or prior experiences or whatever else, their brain simply fills in what it reckons the poster is saying on the topic. Instead of reading the rest of the sentence and digesting it, the reader then just uses their assumption as the interpretation, and reacts to that.

The second is closely related, because it also uses biases and prior experiences to to interpret the post, but rather than ignoring what the OP is actually saying, it instead performs a series of gymnastic leaps to construct a whole new assertion on the OP's behalf that simply isn't there.

There's also a third, of course; that one is people being so eager to feel smug and superior over someone they perceive as Bad that they wilfully assume the OP is stupid or being serious when they're actually joking. And if the reader hadn't been so blinded by their desire to get to look down on someone, they'd have seen the very obvious tells, sometimes even including sentences like "Obviously this is a joke." (I think we have all seen examples of these. Also, in a bid to avoid as many reading comprehension fails here as possible, this does not include misunderstandings borne entirely of neurodiverse struggles to parse intentions; but, neurodiverse people are just as likely as neurotypicals to have ego play a part in their misinterpretation of others, and that is what this point is about.)

And the thing is... actually, we are all capable of any of these. I imagine a sizable chunk of people reading until this point were probably thinking "Lol, yeah, people are so stupid," but na, nage, I'm not having that. Literally everyone does these sometimes. And it becomes a particular risk when the topic under discussion is something that might brush against an issue that is a pressure point for you, like a social justice talking point that you are forever having to argue with internet strangers about, for example. Your brain holds schemas! And sometimes it likes to pattern match things before it deigns to tell you about its findings! And that can hit you right in the emotions, which if they are strong enough, really can shut down all rational thought.

But. This brings me to the real point of the post.

Because the thing is, we have all saddled up and gone to war under these conditions, or at the very least been strongly tempted to. And a vital skill that literally everyone has to learn, sooner or later, is:

Before you hit 'reply', double check the post to make sure you fucking understood it.

And that does not mean "simply re-read, confirm your bias, carry on." It means, "Is it possible to read this post from the point of view of someone who doesn't intend it the way I've taken it? If I put myself in the shoes of an innocent, could they still have written these words? Is there another interpretation for these phrases?"

And you do have to do this step. You simply do have to. Because if your desire is to 'clap back' and call someone a gargling knobskin made of garbage, fuck me sideways but you must see that it is imperative that you check if they actually deserve that kind of treatment first. You cannot spend your time claiming that we must all choose to be kind and then not bother doing your due diligence before screaming a person's various and assorted bigotries at them. If you misread it, and they were innocent - you are the raging aggressive cunt in this situation.

It does not matter that you reacted from an emotional place of normally having to defend yourself either, by the way. Sure, that makes the quality of your human soul better than that of the average Redditor who just enjoys anonymously hurting people, I guess? But it's also irrelevant. If you messaged someone and called them a misogynist because you performed several mental somersaults and landed on your own sore spot when they meant no such thing, you are the attacker. You owe them an apology. And yeah, sure, you can explain your over-reaction as the product of your normal experiences if you like, but that is only an explanation, not an excuse. You are still the asshole here. You still need to apologise and mean it.

And you could have avoided it if you'd done that due diligence, as you should have. If you're going to take a swing, make sure it's the right target. This was once described to me as donkey people - they don't think, they just kick. This is admittedly a little unkind to donkeys, who always do their due diligence, but I feel it's an apt metaphor.

TL;DR: If you feel moved to angrily reply to something, first make sure you've interpreted it right. Don't be a donkey person. And if you ask for clarification, people are innocent until proven guilty. Ask nicely. If they are a bigot, you can then smelt them for parts.

[witchywcmans]

PLEASE, EAT. | LAIOS TOUDEN

synopsis ━━ after you've been bitten by a sea serpent, you know the consequences are either death or the possibility of turning into one yourself. thankfully for you, laios touden is the devourer of all things monster and he is dedicated to getting that venom out of you. (laios x f!reader.)

content warnings ━━ sex pollen-adjacent, cunnilingus + fingering, praise, breath play (kinda, if you squint), semi-public sex, multiple orgasms. nsfw (minors + ageless blogs dni).

word count ━━ 3k

song inspiration ━━ too sweet, hozier / more than friends, isabel larosa

author's note ━━ this is the first time I've ever written and posted an x reader one-shot on here, so please be gentle with me lol. I usually only write x oc fics bc I'm a yapper and I love creating characters. but alas...I was perusing the laios x reader tag and wanted to read something with this plot, couldn't find it, so I figured I'd just do it myself 🫡

🪽 part i: PLEASE, EAT. / part ii: FORBIDDEN FRUIT. / part iii: TOO SWEET.

This was definitely one of the worst situations you’d been in.

You had joined Laios’ adventuring party just a few months prior. They had found you on floor 3 of the dungeon, shivering and mourning the loss of your father. His body, dead in your arms, and beside him lay the lifeless body of a ghoul you had killed. At first, the party’s leader, Laios Touden, had only been interested in taking the ghoul's body so they could use its bones for utensils after the flesh rotted off. But it was Marcille who noticed the tears in your eyes, how you trembled from the cold, and suggested they take you in. You almost declined, not wanting to leave your father’s body, but knowing he’d soon turned into a monster left you with only one option. Your father had been with you for the past twenty-five years of your life, and now, you were leaving his dead body in a dungeon to travel with a group of strangers.

You soon came to appreciate your new party, though, and you felt your father’s spirit within each of them. Marcille had his kindness, Chilchuck had a comparable wit, Senshi was gifted with excellent cooking skills, and Laios … well, you were still figuring that out. And surprisingly, it was Laios who you began to connect with the most. His knowledge of monsters was unmatched, and he had a passion for learning how to prepare them while they traveled deeper into the dungeon. He was overtly blunt, much like you, and possessed similar advanced fighting skills due to both your fathers' teachings.

Sometimes … sometimes though, you found yourself staring at him more than you should have. His face was abnormally perfect, as if he’d been carved by an artist. His tousled ash-blonde hair reminded you of a lion, and his eyes … sometimes you could’ve sworn they were made out of gold, shimmering like molten lava. Each time you thought this way, you smacked yourself when no one else was looking. I mean, Laios was your friend, your party leader. Having a crush, especially in circumstances like these, was unethical. You had always been focused on one thing: helping your party and making it out of this dungeon alive, for your father. You wouldn’t let a little crush deter you.

Everything had been all well and good until today, when you and your party reached the end of floor 4. When Laios had struggled to fight off a sea serpent, you joined him in the lukewarm water, using your crossbow to shoot the creature in the head. Finally, Laios was able to step in to slice the serpent’s head off … but not before the creature could snap its jaw, tearing one fang down your hip. You jumped back, screaming as you felt the venom seep into you instantly. Some said sea serpent venom would kill you immediately, others said it turned you into one of them, cursing you to haunt the waters with them as penance. As soon as the head was cut, Laios carried you away from the water, and the last thing you heard was Marcille cursing him out before you were rendered unconscious. 

You were woken up – hours, maybe days later – by a drop of water hitting your face every few seconds. Lifting your head from the makeshift tunic pillow, you took in your surroundings. You were at the entrance of floor 5, in a damp corner of cobblestone, while water dripped down onto the floor every so often. There was a moist bandage covering your side where the serpent’s fang had cut into you, part of your tunic ripped to shreds. Hunger boiled in your stomach, making you groan and rub your head. Laios was sitting just a few feet away, a small fire in front of him to keep warm. Marcille had to have helped him with that; there was no way to craft a fire in an area this damp.

“Am I dead?” You asked softly. 

Laios immediately turned in your direction, his mouth lifting in a smile. “Of course not.”

Your stomach did flip flops as you took in his smile, hunger consuming you. You needed something to eat – bad. Your body felt hot and sweaty, and you wondered if it was just from the humidity, even though Laios didn’t look affected. Sitting up, you informed him, “Well, that was one of two options my father said would happen from a sea serpent bite. Which means …” You lifted the bandage up, noticing the gills that started to form on the healing wound. A turquoise hue surrounded the gills, almost like a bruise. “Oh, fuck,” you muttered.

Laios stood, looming over you while asking, “What’s wrong?”

“It’s the other option,” you replied, too hungry to cry. “The bite is –”

“– Turning you into a sea serpent,” Laios finished. “Honestly, I thought that was just a myth. But when the bite didn’t kill you …” His mouth twitched, tongue darting out to wet the corners of his lips. “We have to suck the venom out. That has to stop the mutation.”

Your head snapped up. “Huh?” 

But as soon as your eyes met his, you started to wondered if what you were experiencing was hunger after all. Perhaps … a different kind of hunger. Laios stared down at you, the sparkling gold replaced by a dark hazel. It was just you two in this little corner of the dungeon, but you suddenly felt exposed, so naked, under his gaze. Your body was hot all over, sweat sticking to uncomfortable places. And your thighs … a burning need emerged between them, soaking the thin linen of your undergarments. This had to be a symptom of the bite, but it suddenly didn’t matter anymore. Your worry had been replaced by an ache that only he could fix.

No – absolutely not. You couldn’t. You shouldn’t. You were turning into a sea serpent.

But the need between your legs still throbbed.

“It’s like when a snake bites you on the surface,” Laios said, crouching down to your eye level. His closeness made your heart rate pick up. You realized then that he had shed his armor, kneeling in front of you in just his gambeson, which clung to his muscles and wide frame. “A sea serpent is part snake. Sucking out the venom should stop the mutation. You’ll probably experience symptoms from the bite for a few more hours, but they’ll stop eventually.” 

He started to peel back the bandage, taking a look at the gills forming on your hip when you gripped his wrist. Immediately, his skin burned, making you even more hot. You ripped your hand away from him, and with sweat trickling down the side of your face, you said, “Don’t you think this is … weird? Maybe Marcille should do it.”

“Marcille and the others just went back to another part of the level to find dinner. They won’t return for an hour, at least. This can’t wait.” He inspected the turquoise gills with concern, before his eyes snapped back to yours, noticing the way your black pupils filled almost the entire iris. “Do you not trust me?”

“Of course, I trust you. It’s just …” What exactly was the reason again? Oh, yes, it was pulsating hunger dripping between your legs from the bite, and you were terrified how you’d react the second his lips wrapped around your wound. The symptoms would just get worse. But he was right – this was the only way. Fuck, this had to be the most embarrassing thing you’d ever experienced. 

“Fine,” you finally relented, lying back down on the cobblestone. You did your best to get comfortable, but the makeshift pillow hardly provided much cushion between you and the floor.  “What should I do?”

“Nothing, just lay back and let me take care of it.” Laios lifted your tunic a smidge, and just the tenor of his voice made your ache even worse. “We’re just gonna … get this out of the way. And then …” His fingers hooked on the waistband of your pants, and you immediately clutched his collar. If you touched his skin again, you were sure to moan.

Laios looked from where your hand was gripping him and back to your eyes. “Your pants need to be off so I can have better access to the mutation. It’s on your hip.” You swallowed hard, knowing he was right, and your hand started to slip off his collar. “We’re friends, right?” He asked.

You nodded weakly.

“Good,” he smiled again, and you struggled to hold back a plea for him to touch you. He pulled down your pants, tossing them to the side. For a moment, he paused, taking in your soaked underwear and running his fingers over the mutation on your hip. He licked his lips again, and then said in a rather blunt tone, “You’re so –”

“Don’t say it,” you cut in, snapping your eyes shut to prevent further embarrassment.  Though you had never minded Laois’ occasional lack of social cues, this was one of those moments you needed anything but. “Just get the venom out.”

Laios tugged your underwear down a little to see if the mutation had spread. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he informed you, lowering his head to your hip. “I’ve read that these bites can have a multitude of internal symptoms. Nightmares ... sweating … fever …” He ran his tongue over the gills, making your breath hitch instantly. “… And especially, arousal. Neat, huh?” He chuckled, and just his warm breath on the gills made you even more wet. “Don’t worry, I got you,” he assured before finally wrapping his mouth on the wound.

Your body burned even hotter than before as soon as his lips touched your skin. He sucked the venom out of you, spitting out blue globs every other second. His hands gripped your side, digging into your flesh and leaving crescent shapes from his nails. As you felt the gills start to close up, you couldn’t help but moan and arch into nothing. This felt better than any time you masturbated … any time you imagined your party leader above you … Fuck, who would’ve thought sucking sea serpent venom out of you would feel this good? Thank the gods the rest of their party was off catching dinner. You couldn’t deal with them possibly hearing this.

It surprised you when your orgasm flooded through you like a crashing wave. As Laios finished sucking out the last of the venom and the mutation closed, your arousal came to a definite peak and you let out a whine. You grabbed his arm, cumming from absolutely no stimulation.

Laios didn’t seem to mind though. In fact, he was mostly preoccupied with inspecting the area. You opened your eyes, your cheeks tinged pink, and saw the globs of venom to the left dissipate to nothing but water. You pinched the bridge of your nose, “I’m sorry, I –”

“The mutation closed. I was right!” Laios looked down at you, a big grin covering his face. “How do you feel?”

“Well, I definitely don’t feel a second set of lungs on my hip anymore.” You lifted your hand when you noticed a trickle of blue staining his lip, wiping it away with your thumb. “But I … my body is still …” The ache inside you had simmered slightly, but it was still there, lingering underneath the surface. 

This was genuinely humiliating. Maybe you should’ve just decided to turn into a sea serpent after all.

Laios grabbed your wrist before you could pull away from his face. He leaned into your palm, running his long nose down to your inner wrist. “Your skin is so warm. I can still smell how aroused you are from the serpent bite.” His eyes burned into yours, keeping your hand close to his face. “I can help. Do you need another release?”

Your cheeks got even more red when he acknowledged your orgasm. Shaking your head, you said, “I couldn’t ask you to do that. I can just –”

“I’d be honored to,” he replied, quite gruffly and persistent. His fingers tugged your underwear down with precision and ease, despite the damp fabric clinging to you. He spread your legs wide and placed them on his shoulders. Lowering himself down, he inhaled the scent of your climax and hooked his arms around your inner thighs. He smiled up at you – your pretty face red with embarrassment – all dopey-eyed and grateful. “You lot like to call me the devourer of monsters. Perhaps I should devour the last bit of monster out of you.”

He inhaled again, groaning like he typically did when he was hungry. His hot breath against your achingly wet pussy made you whimper with desperation. “You smell so good down here,” he whispered. “I’d wager you taste even better.”

You gasped as soon as he dove between your legs, licking a stripe through your folds, tasting your recent orgasm. He flicked his tongue over your clit before sucking on it with feverish excitement. Slick gathered on his tongue and he whined, needing more. So much more. You were the most delicious meal he’d ever tasted. Better than any monster, better than anything on the surface. 

“So good,” he muttered into your pussy, lapping against your clit, doing anything that would get him more of your arousal. “You taste so, so good.”

You whimpered out his name and attempted to close your legs, but he held them opened with all his strength. His arms wrapped around your thighs went tight, bruising the sensitive flesh. Your jaw went slack while your own hands scrambled for purchase, eventually landing in his cropped hair. You tugged, hips bucking against his face, making him groan even more. This allowed him to hold your hips a little higher, and his tongue finally dipped into your leaking entrance. You heard him grunt the second he plunged his tongue deeper, his nose nuzzling your clit. 

He devoured you like a starved man. He devoured you like you were a boiled scorpion, or roast basilisk, or – even better – like sweet, delicious homemade cheesecake. 

“Laios,” you whined, feeling your fever dissolve with each lap of his tongue. “Laios, it’s … fuck – it’s okay, I feel –”

“Need more,” he muttered, his voice low and laced with need. He was practically humping the stone floor as he buried his tongue as far as it could go inside you. Your hips couldn’t stop bucking forward, riding his face as you felt your orgasm building at the base of your stomach. Laios was completely transfixed. He wanted to be here, nestled between your thighs, for every meal. He’d take you away from the rest of the group before dinner, lapping away to the sounds of your pleas and whimpers, so help him gods. He’d do this every day, every night, whenever you wanted, for as long as he was alive. Fuck monsters. He could survive off the taste of you for the rest of his life.

Slipping his tongue out of your hole, he went back to sucking on your throbbing clit and feeling your legs start to tremble. You had to be close to another release, and he was desperate to taste it. He paid all his attention on your clit, snaking one hand up and sinking two fingers knuckle-deep into your entrance in tandem. “Fuck,” you moaned, tugging on his hair once again, “fuck – gods, Laios. I – I’m s-so close –”

“Please,” he begged, smearing your slick all over his mouth. “Please, you’re so good. Need to see how you taste when you release on my tongue.” His own hips continued to buck against the floor.

You choked on a cry when you finally came all over his tongue. He groaned, loud and drawn out, when he finally got a taste of your sweet climax, knowing that it was him that brought you to this point. The orgasm felt long, like the ocean bringing you in and out, and your whole body trembled. He continued lapping at your clit as it pulsed under his tongue, his fingers curling inside you through your orgasm. When you finally breathed out and started to come down from the high of it all, Laios stayed between your thighs, allowing his tongue to gently swirl your clit. Maybe if he continued, he could taste a little more of you …

You found your voice, hoarse from overstimulation. “Laios, please, you have to stop,” you begged, yanking his head up from between your legs. His mouth was covered in your slick, and then he was giving you that dopey expression again, making your heart clench. Your body was no longer hot and sweaty. Laios had completely cured you of the sea serpent bite with that expert mouth of his. He unwound his arms from your thighs, bringing his fingers that were still covered with your wetness to his mouth, tasting the last of your orgasm. You watched him, eyes wide and cheeks blushing, until he was looking at you again with those golden doe eyes.

“That was amazing,” he said, like he was in a haze. When your eyes flickered down, you realized he was hard in his pants, but it wasn’t like he even noticed himself with the way he was staring at you. “We should do that again sometime.”

He stood up, and you scrambled to pull your clothes back on before the group came back. You stammered, “It’s okay, uh – we don’t have to. Especially if you don’t want to. We could just –”

“I want to,” he cut in, a determined look in his eyes. “What are friends for, right?” 

[intheestaars]

Solar return Observations pt. 2

‼️Don't repost my Observations without consent and mentioning my page‼️

Hello girliieees how are you? I thought i'd give you a new post, as i am very much procrastinating. Honestly, i dont really have much to say soo... lets just get started!

Befor i start: these are just some random things i observe from people with these placements. They might fit you but they dont have to. I wsnt to emphasize this as i tend to also talk about darker stuff, and i dont want people to get scared. Everything i'm writing could totally not apply to you, so please take everything woth a grain of salt!

Now lets go!

Venus conjunct 10th house: For some reason, people in general perceive you to be more attractive and desireable. If you also have some good placements in your sr 5th or 7th house or the ruler of your sr 7th house is taurus or libra, you might even attract more love interests than usual.

Uranus in the 7th house: I know i've talked about my Uranus conjunct Jupiter in the 7th house in relation to sudden, unexpected things happening in your love life, which it definately means, but it can also make your love life more unconventional, in whatever way this applies to your life. For me, it was finding out i'm bi and dating the same gender for the first time in my life. Of course it isn't weird or anything like that, but me finding this out was completely unexpected, because i was always someone who was very keen on saying "i'm straight, but i'm a big ally", so completely going the opposite way was unconventional for me, although it felt exactly the same as dating the opposite gender. In the end it didn't work out, but i found out something major about myself, and am still figuring shit out (i'm honestly not 100 percent sure abouz my sexuality, but its a step in the right direction letting this part of myself free).

12th house stellium: No matter why or how (you can see this through other placements in your chart), but definately a year where you might struggle with your mental health (please get yourself professional help if needed), BUT at the same time it could be a year, where you might go on a transcontinental trip, as the 12th house also relates to international travel.

Saturn in the 6th house: For some reason, your everyday work and routine might feel very harsh and restricting and you might really struggle because of it. Please, even though sometimes its just life, always try to still respect your mental health and dont drive yourself into a burnout. But generally, when you're going through this, taking into account your mental health can be a good way to balance this out.

Pluto in the 3rd house: I can only talk about my own experience, but this solar return year i've had this placement and i've definately had my struggle with friends and have already lost an entire friend group. But as Pluto also relates to tramsformation through heavier experiences, i am really hoping i lost these friends to make space for new and better friends and for myself to be a better friend through learning from those experiences. I've also been sensing that the people i am surrounded with might not necessarily be the kind of people i would want as my friends, not because they are bad people but because characterwise we are very different. So maybe it could also just change the way you see your friendships.

North node in the 6th house: If you have this in your sr, a very important thing for you this year is to get into physical fitness, whatever this means to you, and generally taking more care of your body/physical health. So if you havent started yet, i would recommend trying it! Or just more generally, getring healthier routines.

Mercury conjunct Mars in the 10th house: You might be known for speaking more harshly to others this year.

Neptune in Pisces: I know i've talked about this placement before because i dont like this placement, and i need to emphasize this. No matter where you have it, it can mean you experience some kind of hurt due to some these factors

- some kind of illusion making you to not be able to see the reality

- you or other people having mental health stuggles

- you could go into a mental health spiral because of what you experience, where you might not be able to see everything as it is

- you might even be the one putting illusions on others

In the best case it can mean having a very spiritual experience. But i truly advice you, if you are struggeling mentally in some way, please get yourself professional help. Its hard but you can get through it!

Okay soo, i think this is it for now. Thank you so much for reading and see you next time. Lots of love and byeee <3

[revelboo]

I check Tumblr multiple times a day and every time I need to check if you've posted anything new because I'm completely obsessed with your writing!!! You've revived my love for Starscream in a way I haven't felt in forever. I've just been spinning him around in my head while I wait for you to post something new (doesn't matter if it's of him or other characters!)

Like you really have no idea how happy your writing makes me, thank you so much for bringing such great writing into the world ❤️💙🩶

Thank you! I was honestly a bit surprised in the amount of interest in these little blurbs.

Bad Idea Pt 3

TFP Soundwave x Reader

• Moving slowly, carefully so he doesn’t break the human, he closes his sharp servos around that tiny form and lifts it up. The song falters, the notes wavering into terrified silence as little hands push frantically at his servos as if to free itself. There’s something admirable in that doomed struggling. A desperate hunger to live that he remembers all too well. Lifting it higher he studies it as it stares defiantly at him even as it shakes in his grip. Terrified, but still fighting.

• Breath hitching, you push at that too tight grip, your heart frantic and wild. It’s just staring at you, even with no discernible face, you feel the weight of its attention. Scrutinizing you. That music note blips across the screen again, its head cocking in a way that you instinctively recognize as predatory. Dangerous. One of those snaking tentacles swings up, pincers on the ends splaying out far too close to your face. And your panicked, frazzled brain can’t think of anything besides the stupid nursery rhyme you’d already sung it, so you offer it that song again feeling like an idiot.

• Shuddering, his frame droops some as he lets the broken sound play over him, rasping and halting. Desperate and fascinating. He runs the graspers of one tendril through the human’s hair, surprised by the softness and how it flinches away from that touch, eyes wide. It stops singing but almost immediately starts up the music again. Learning quickly what’s expected of it. From his shoulder, he can feel Lazerbeak’s irritation with him. As dependent as the drone is on him for survival, he also strains against that bond sometimes. Wanting independence.

• He understands that, too. But still he misses having something small looking to him. Needing him. And his knowledge of humans is sorely lacking. It can’t hurt to study this one. If intelligence is his greatest asset, then surely he needs to gather more about the dominant life forms of this world. Satisfied with his reasoning, he stands and tucks the human to his chassis as he begins to make his way out of the woods with his newest acquisition. Its little voice wavers, but it keeps singing for him, the sound hitching strangely.

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[saturnniidae]

More dragon rider disability headcanons for disability pride month!

(Ones specifically abt Hiccup are here)

Ruffnut has hypermobile EDS (when the twins were doing some bit that was basically Guinness book of world records she said smth abt 'worlds stretchiest skin' and my mom made a joke and said 'ruff has eds!' And it stuck)

A joke Ruffnut loves to make is saying Tuff is so insufferable she should just run away to join a circus and become a contortionist. She thinks it's the funniest thing ever

Hiccup also has some weird hypermobility stuff going on, when Ruff learns this she calls him a fellow circus freak (affectionate) and offers to let him come with her when she runs away. The response she got was "I'd rather stick my hand in Fenrir's mouth."

Tuff is visually impaired in his right eye from a childhood injury (another joke taken seriously)

All the riders are neurodivergent!

Snotlout has a frequently irregular heartbeat as well as memory issues due to how many times he's been struck by lightning. His whole book he wrote in that one episode isn't the only writing he does, he keeps a notebook to help keep track of minor things he might forget.

Astrid tries to make Hiccup breakfast in bed when he's having bad pain days and is too tired to do it himself. She almost burns the house down every time, so Toothless will go and get the other riders to help out while Astrid is kicked out of the kitchen and sent back to bed

Hiccup can be really fucking mean sometimes! Usually it's intentional bc he's in a bad mood and wants to be left alone. If it's seemingly unprovoked though, the others know it as a sign he's likely in pain and needs to be left alone (he still insists on getting work done but usually Toothless annoys him into resting)

Astrid has aches in her leg from when she got shot with that arrow, it being poisoned with dragon root did something to mess up the healing process so its worse than other old injuries (Dragon root isn't poisonous to humans but still having it in your blood stream isn't a good idea). She's also very mean when she's in pain, especially because it ruins her schedule since she can't train. Eventually her and Hiccup come to an agreement when they're having bad pain days they'll meet up in one of their huts and just. Sit together enjoying the others comforting presence but rarely talking

This is because Hiccup and Astrid both hate being in pain in front of people, they both share that almost extreme fear of vulnerability and the best they can do is take comfort in each other

Hiccup and Fishlegs are hyperfixation buddies! Fishlegs is the only one who doesn't get mad (it's just fond exasperation) when Hiccup wakes him up in the middle of the night to infodump, they just bounce off each other talking about dragons until woah suddenly the sun is rising and that is when Fishlegs gets upset because he values his sleep

All the riders have burn scars of varying severity. They literally work with dragons there's no way they wouldn't. And they all deal with their pain in different ways, but are unwavering supportive of each other when they can be

I've said it before and I'll say it again, a lot of characters should be disabled.

I know, cartoon logic and all, but the things that happen to these guys are things that should affect them for the rest of their lives. And watching characters struggle with permanent change like that, the realization you can never go back to how things were, and eventually healing and learning that's okay! You can still find happiness and be happy and it doesn't make your pain any less valid! It's so important to me and that's obviously reflected in my interpretations of my favorite characters lmao

[moonselune]

Some tav angst could be interesting. Where tav feels like they've spent so much time learning and figuring out each individual companion, but Tav feels like no one truly knows them yet. I think it could be particularly angsty with Astarion or Gale. And maybe particularly comforting with Halsin who i think would react maturly to that feeling. Dealers choice on whether to end with fluff or angst.

P.s. Youve been writing so many great pieces. It's really made my weekend!

Ooof I am a sucker for angst I cannot lie, tried to balance the angst and comfort but who knows what I've concocted really

Astarion:

The camp was quiet, the fire’s embers glowing faintly as everyone settled down for the night. You sat apart, staring into the flames, feeling a heavy weight on your chest. Despite the camaraderie and the bond forged through countless battles, an emptiness lingered, a sense that no one truly knew you.

Astarion approached silently, his usual swagger subdued. He settled beside you, his eyes reflecting the firelight. "You’re awfully quiet tonight," he remarked, his tone light but probing.

You sighed, tracing patterns in the dirt with a stick. "I’ve spent so much time getting to know everyone, understanding what makes them tick. But sometimes, it feels like no one really knows me. Not even you."

Astarion’s smile faltered, replaced by a rare look of vulnerability. "I thought… I thought we were getting closer. I’ve shared things with you I’ve never told anyone."

"I know," you said softly. "And I appreciate that. But it feels one-sided. I’ve been so focused on you and the others, making sure you’re all okay, that I’ve forgotten to let anyone in. To let you in."

He reached out, his hand trembling slightly as it rested on yours. "I’m not good at this," he admitted, his voice strained. "Caring. Loving. It’s foreign to me. But I do care about you. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone."

You looked into his eyes, seeing the struggle within him. "I know you do. But it’s not just about caring. It’s about knowing. And I don’t think you know me, not really."

Astarion’s grip tightened, his expression pained. "Then help me. Let me in. Show me who you are. I don’t want to lose you because of my own failings."

Tears welled in your eyes as you nodded. "I’ll try. I promise."

Gale:

The stars were bright above as you wandered away from the camp, seeking solace in the night’s stillness. Gale found you near the river, his presence comforting but also a reminder of the distance you felt.

He approached cautiously, sensing your turmoil. "You’ve been distant lately," he observed, his voice gentle. "What’s on your mind?"

You turned to face him, your heart heavy. "I feel like I’ve spent so much time understanding everyone, including you. But I don’t think anyone truly knows me."

Gale’s brow furrowed, his concern evident. "I thought… I thought we had something special. That we were connecting on a deeper level."

"We do," you assured him, your voice wavering. "But I’ve been so focused on you, on all the others, that I’ve forgotten to let anyone truly see me. To let you see me."

He reached out, his hand cupping your cheek. "I want to know you. All of you. But you need to let me in."

Tears spilled down your cheeks as you leaned into his touch. "I’m scared. Scared of being vulnerable. Of not being enough."

Gale’s eyes softened, his thumb brushing away your tears. "You are more than enough. And I want to help you carry your burdens. Let me be there for you, as you’ve been for me."

You nodded, the weight on your heart lifting slightly. "I’ll try. I’ll let you in."

Halsin:

The forest was a place of refuge, its tranquility a balm for your troubled soul. Halsin found you among the trees, his presence steady and reassuring. He approached without a word, sensing your need for space yet wanting to offer his support.

You leaned against a tree, your heart heavy with the feeling of being unknown. "I’ve spent so much time learning about everyone, understanding their pains and fears. But it feels like no one truly knows me."

Halsin nodded, his expression calm and understanding. "You’ve been a pillar of strength for all of us. But even pillars need support."

You looked at him, tears in your eyes. "I feel like I’ve lost myself in the process. That no one sees the real me."

Halsin stepped closer, his hand resting gently on your shoulder. "It’s easy to lose oneself when caring for others. But you are not alone. I see you, even if you feel hidden."

Your tears flowed freely as you leaned into his embrace. "I don’t know how to let people in. I’ve been so focused on everyone else."

Halsin held you tightly, his presence a source of comfort. "It’s okay to be vulnerable. To let others see your true self. You are worthy of being known and loved for who you are."

You nodded against his chest, his words a soothing balm to your aching heart. "Thank you, Halsin. I’ll try to open up more. To let you in."

He smiled, his eyes warm and full of understanding. "Take your time. I’ll be here, ready to listen and to know you, whenever you’re ready."

Hope you guys enjoyed this :) - Seluney xoxox

[victoriadallonfan]

Having re-watched Alien (1979) and Aliens (1985), I think I've realized what went wrong with the further expanded film universe on a thematic level (this is not accounting for AVP films, which seem to exist within their own continuity atm).

The main issue is that these films made 2 intertwining mistakes:

Making the Xenomorph too animalistic

Removing the mystery of space

For the first part, Alien and Aliens are quite vague about the Xenomorph mind. Alien treats it almost like a serial killer at times, including a particularly interesting moment where it disregards Jones the Cat entirely, despite making a very easy target, and how it will sometimes meander up to the crew as if it knows it's inflicting terror upon them. This Xenomorph even seems to only flee when Parker goes to kill it with a knife and hides within the evac shuttle when it realizes that Ripley was going there as well.

Aliens forgoes this in favor of showing how terrifying their numbers are even in the face of superior (if greatly mislead) fire power, but then pulls the rug under our protagonists by (seemingly) cutting the power and testing the endurance of the auto-turrets. While the drones are not individually as intelligent as the original xenomorph from the first film, this is instead given to the Queen, who understands not only the danger Ripley poses to her Hive but hostage negotiations of the most blunt variety. And, of course, incredible spite and vengeance when Ripley burns her eggs.

Basically, the two films do a good job of making you wonder... how sapient and sentient are the Xenomorphs? Do we take Ash's word and think of them as simply Hostile Weapons or do we see them for the adaptable and complex - if instinct guided - parasites just trying to protect their hive? This is further food for thought when we learn that one of the cut endings would have had the Xenomorph kill Ripley, tentatively use the shuttles control panel, and speak into the intercom with Dallas voice (ala Predator).

Imo, that goes too far into making them human, but we'll circle back to that later. The point is that the Xenomorph is never clearly one thing or another, but rather, something that constantly foils our attempts to understand them completely.

Aliens 3, Alien: Resurrection, Prometheus, and Alien: Covenant fail in that regard, because they take the firm stance that the Xenomorph is... an animal. A very, very, dangerous and hostile animal but an animal nonetheless. It's not some vague horror that we struggle to comprehend and reason with, because all the facts (as they are for now) are laid out: the Xenomorphs are weaponized animals that just kill, reproduce, and kill etc etc.

Nothing is entirely new about the Xenomorphs in these movies (beyond the forms and one part of Covenant, but we'll circle back to that as well), but rather trying to recapture the formula of Alien and Aliens. And even when the film isn't necessarily about the Xenomorphs like Prometheus, it still goes out of its way to copy the play by play of Alien to an almost hilarious degree (except, somehow, having a cast entirely of stupid scientists).

The Xenomorph is used as a toll for the films to talk more about the human threats who would use them, which is fine, except the same message of "Weyland-Yutani wants Xenomorphs, They Failed" over and over again (except I guess for Alien: Resurrection, but that had Walmart as a plot point so...) gets tedious. It's not longer about the folley of mankind, but rather this one company led by a man (or Android?) who keeps fucking up.

Ditto goes for the second part: removing the mystery from space. Alien and Aliens treat the Space Jockey and other (non-Xenomorph) alien life at an arms distance. They are large, grand, ominous, and vaguely defined. We don't know much about WY in either movie, nor how much is them knowing versus independent people within the company (Burke mentions cutting out his own bosses for profit for example, and Bishop the company Android is heroic and horrified at the situation they are all in, a big difference to Ash). The Xenomorphs having a Queen was a huge reveal, because we literally had no idea until then if those were actual eggs or simply pods artificially created.

Aliens 3 tries to add some mystery with the prison colony, but it's also hamfisted and given a lot of exposition to explain the situation they are in, but I will give it kudos for making Weyland (???) look like Bishop as a twist. Aliens: Resurrection... yeah, no.

Prometheus and Alien Covenant gave us a plethora of seeming mysteries, but also gives us really super simple answers. Basically, Space Jockeys are just super humans seeding life across the planets and they wanted to bomb Earth into oblivion because we killed Jesus Christ (who was a Space Jockey). And one of our androids then - possibly - goes to their home planet and bombs them to oblivion thus wiping out the human race. And they made Xenomorphs yadda yadda.

Prometheus in particular seems to despise the idea of space being a mystery, with the conversation David has with a scientist being plainly spelled out as the theme of the film: "Sometimes, humans/space jockeys just build shit, and it goes wrong I guess. No gods or mysteries here, just hubris."

Which, if handled well, is still a fascinating idea (I think it's a pretty interesting 'take-that' against the stupidity of Ancient Alien Conspiracy Theorists)... but it's not handled well. At all. And certainly doesn't work well when trying to write Xeno-Horror.

So, what COULD work?

Well, I think we need to look at how Alien and Aliens made the Xenomorphs, Space Jockey's, and Space itself all work.

For the xenomorphs, I think back to one scene I actually thought was interesting in Alien: Covenant; as a chestburster is born from a hapless scientist, it lays its eyes (???) on David and replicates his movements, mimicking the first living thing it witnesses. Nothing is ever done with this (of course), but think about the potential that could be used! Plenty of animals like crows, ravens, dolphins, octopi, killer whales etc etc can use mimicry in voices and actions, and that includes things like tool-use! And of course, the fact that they take on new forms from hosts helps with that.

For the Space Jockey's: scrap them. They had their time, the mystery is basically solved. Show us new and different alien civilizations long past. Were they also victims of the Xenomorphs? From some other threat entirely? Surely, there are extraterrestrial predators out there that don't follow the Xenomorph formula. Why not have them share the splotlight, with just as little explanation?

For space itself: stop with trying to recapture Alien and Aliens. Alien: Isolation is the only successor specifically because of the format of the medium. Alien and Aliens rely heavily on the shock factor of sudden reveals. Remove that, and you are given "bug hunt" games and movies ala discount Starship Trooper. Focus more on making human space feel almost alien and beyond our understanding as well, but just enough that we can recognize the purpose that we would have them for our society.

How I would write an Alien Story:

(This would all be backstory and setup for the actual story)

I would set it within a colony satellite with an explicit task: a skyscraper ecological time-capsule for deep space experimentation of wildlife.

It would have levels, with humans situated at the second uppermost and an AI as the manager at the top level of the satellite, with all the other animals in different levels fit for their habitats (including some non-earth, non-xenomorph aliens). It's a religious sponsored and run organization, offshoots of [Insert Church Here] that is trying to get good press with cutting edge AI and biological research.

The prize is an alien lifeform that looks like a cross between a crocodile and a panther. Usually docile when fed, it has been growing more and more agitated, harming several workers on the job. Most assume it may be some late-stage degenerative disease within it's brain.

Not all things are as it seems, as at the bottom of the station, a location no one but a select few faithful engineers are sent to maintain, a pod is damaged. A young attendant watches in shock and horror as a bloody and maimed chest burster crawls out of the pod, possibly having injured itself to burn through the lock. The creature is mewling in pain, but the young attendant makes a choice: leaving food, water, and blanket for the creature. Watching as the creature watches them, before going to feast. All under the gaze of a camera.

The xenomorph grows and grows, eating more, getting bolder and allowing its "caretaker" to feel more comfortable. Soon it begins to recognize certain sounds as they pray when he feasts, and association occurs. One day, its hiss sounds suspiciously like "Lord".

This is when the young attendant reaches out to higher, but trusted, priests to share this miraculous revelation. The first one is shocked, terrified, but intrigued as the creature mimics words like "Lord" and "Mighty". Barely audible, some would say hallucinatory, but they believe they can here this humanoid creature speak their language.

The second is equally shocked, terrified, but listens and becomes a believer.

The third one does not believe. Rightfully horrified and full of questions. Their arguments in front of the beast escalate into violence and when the young attendant shoves the priest to the ground, it is the Xenomorph that pounces. Blood is shed. the creature rises in front of it's faithful, and the Xenomorph uses the same sounds it heard over the fight. Lord. Mighty. Here-tik.

They can't be delusional or driven by guilt! This is a sign... right? This creature is speaking to them!

The faith grows. Never large. Can't risk word getting out or people noticing too many missing priests. The satellite is just barely large enough that people can excuse going missing for a few days between objectives.

But key individuals are brought in. The creature is worshiped. Animal offerings are delivered. It's changing, slowly. Growing larger (not a Xenomorph Queen, it's too maimed, but adapting to a steady diet).

Things might have escalated, had one of the priests killed not had an estranged sibling/spouse/loved one who had the pull to make a formal investigatory complaint.

The investigator arrives with his repertoire, this supposed garden of eden in deep space, none the wiser to what he would uncover. (Again, this would be the backstory, not revealed except through character investigations and evidence found during that. Defeats the purpose if it's spelled out like this).

It would play with the idea of how sapient/sentient the Xenomorphs are (do they care? do they understand? if not, why act like this? if yes, what does this mean for their continued slaughter), how much one puts into faith versus delusions, and leaves lingering questions: who put the xenomorph on the ship, why is the AI so complicit with the deaths and disappearances, and why is the one non-xenomorph alien acting so dangerously agitated despite being far away from the xenomorph's quarters?

[lunicho]

(send riize asks to @angeltsan)

{𐙚 10:43} l. anton + l. sohee

♡ 3.8k | dom!anton, subby inexperienced!sohee, fem!reader, cuckholding, oral (f!receiving), premature ejaculation, unprotected sex (don't be like them), cumming inside, cum eating, anton is kinda an asshole, sohee is kinda pathetic

♡ a/n: DON'T READ THE LAST SENTENCE OMG ITS SO BAD IM SORRY,, im so bad at ending fics,,, anyways its been tew long since i wrote smth new so feast my loves,, i've kept y'all starving fr (i'm sorry) also new fic layout 😝😝 gonna be updating stuff on my blog so yeahhh.

you'd been with anton for a while. over that time you've come to learn a lot about him and things that he likes. of all the things you've learned, this might be the craziest one. 

a momentary silence fell over the room as you looked down at your hands, fiddling a little. you crossed your arms over your chest and thought hard. “okay wait.. you wanna do what?” 

anton tried to explain again, his voice quiet, “well sohee likes you.. and i know you like him and i'm okay with that.. i think we should let him have sex with us.. at least once.” 

you continued thinking, “i mean yeah i like sohee, but i don't know if i like him like that.. a- and how long has he liked me?” you were sort of struggling to wrap your head around the whole thing, the idea of sohee liking you as more than a friend never crossing your mind. 

“the same amount of time i've liked you, we both wanted you originally.. i just ended up being the one to make it official.” you frowned a little at this, suddenly feeling bad for sohee. you don't know if it was pity or if you really wanted this but something in you wanted to say yes to the whole idea. 

you weren't vanilla by any means when it came to sex but bringing one of anton's close friends into your bed was a little daunting, the idea of being the reason to ruin their friendship scared you. anton contrasted from you, he had a very calm demeanor about the whole thing, this both intrigued and intimidated you. 

“okay, we can do it..” you looked up at anton from where you sat, watching his eyes light up. he placed a large hand on the back of your head, just his gaze made you feel small. with his other hand he hooked a finger under your chin to tilt your head upward, leaning down to place a kiss on your lips. his kisses alone could take your breath away.

when you first got with anton he was nothing like this. he was shy, awkward, and honestly just overall submissive to you but the more you got to know him and the more confident he got, his personality began to really come out. he's still like that sometimes but the way he kisses you, the way he carries himself at times, even the way he fucks you is so different.

you whimper under your breath, pulling away slowly moments later, your teeth tugging at your lip gently, “so when do you want to do this?” you gazed up at the boy, your arms wrapping around him as you wait for his response. 

“i'll bring him over.. we can kind of feel things out you know? maybe watch some movies and have some snacks beforehand?” you nod at this, a wave of nerves washing over you, “what if something goes wrong? like what if you and sohee aren't friends after this?” 

anton chuckles at you, his cocky demeanor making you press your legs together. “we're still friends after i got the girl he wanted, what makes you think he wouldn't want to be friends after this? i’m practically doing him a favor.”

you nod at this, it's somewhat true, but you didn't want to let it bother you, anton was relaxed about it and this was his friend after all so you were okay with it.

you'd never paid much attention to the way sohee interacted with you until now. the way his hands would pull away extra fast when you'd hand him things, the fear of accidentally touching you taking over him. you even noticed the way he stared at you when he thought you weren't looking, you'd caught him out of the corner of your eye a few times now. 

you brought a bowl of popcorn over to the coffee table that was in the middle of your living room. the tv was on, waiting for commands from the remote.

sohee sat alone on the couch to the side of the one you were on, the bottoms of his  feet facing the tv and he kept his eyes trained on the screen, or at least that's what he wanted you to think. you see him now though, zoned in at the way he stares at your leg that's poking out of the blanket or how he just stares at you while you reach for another handful of popcorn. 

you were sat in anton's lap, his back leaned against the arm of the couch while you laid on your side cuddling into his chest. you couldn't help the way your gaze wandered to sohee, curiosity flooding your mind. you'd never thought about him differently, he'd always just been anton's friend but you'd be lying if you said you still thought of him that way now. 

you wondered what he'd look like naked, how his lips would feel on yours, how it'd feel to have his and anton’s hands on you at the same time, the thought made you squirm slightly in your spot. 

“mind wandering?” you turned to anton with a smile, your head gently nodding. anton adjusted you in your spot, your back now flush to his chest. there was a small blanket lazily thrown across the two of you, the fabric covering your lap slightly. 

anton's hands were gentle on you, big but delicate. you weren't looking at the tv at all anymore, your mind focused on the feeling of anton's hands on your body. he drags his hands across your waist and hips, fingertips slightly sliding across the waistband of your shorts. 

he'd specially requested for you to wear this pair of shorts, it happened to be his favorite pair and apparently sohee's as well. the two of them seemed to have a lot more in common than you originally thought. anton also specially requested that you “forgot” to wear panties tonight. 

his hand easily dipped into your pants, two of his fingers falling to your wet hole. he firmly dragged two fingers up your cunt, wetting it fully in the process. you breathed out of your nose, your legs opening up more for him. 

his pointer and ring fingers push your lips apart, his middle finger lazily flicking your bud up and down. neither one of you faced the tv at this point, anton placed lazy kisses on your shoulder while you soaked up the pleasure. 

anton speaks in a barely audible murmur into your ear, your eyes slowly peeling open at the sound of his voice, “let's show you off, call for him baby.” 

you nod along with what he said, your mind already feeling foggy. he dips both fingers into your hole, his long slender fingers curving up into you, “s-sohee..” 

he visibly perks up at the sound of your voice, his body stiffening. he was trying so hard to mind his business, you and anton moving around was so hard to ignore. he suspected something was going on but the sound of the movie drowned out the slick noises of your pussy. 

anton moved the blanket off of your lap, his fingers thrusting in and out of you harder than before. “wanna come see the pussy you've been dreaming about?” anton's tone is dripping with lust and cockiness. he's smiling at sohee, his free hand moving to grab a handful of your breast. 

your hand grips onto the arm he's fucking into you with as you feel yourself getting closer, you squeeze your eyes shut, a string of moans escaping your lips. 

sohee's frozen where he's at, already embarrassingly hard all of this is too much, he can't believe what's unfolding in front of him. 

the sound of your moans as you cum on anton's hand catches sohee's attention, he admires your beautiful expression, the one he'd daydreamed about for so long. 

your breathing is ragged, your head leaning back on anton's shoulder as you catch your breath. he let's go of your breast and uses that hand to gently grip your throat, his lips peppering kisses on your cheek as he pulls his soaked fingers out of your shorts. 

he rubs the backs of his fingers against your lips, your mouth opening for him. he slides the pads of his fingers down your throat, leaning to your ear once again. “invite him over.. let him play with you.” 

you lift your head off his shoulder,, your shorts sticking to your slick. “wanna come over here? wanna sit by me?” you pat the spot in between your legs, almost like you're calling over a puppy. sohee hesitates, his eyes trained on you. 

you could tell sohee was a bit more like anton used to be, again, shy, timid, a little awkward, and definitely not as dominant as anton is now. 

sohee nods weakly, walking over to you, unable to look either of you in the eyes, especially not anton. he didn't expect for this to somehow be so humiliating for him. he sat in front of you, shivering when he felt your hand gently rub down his arm. this made you smile, “relax hee.. i don't bite.” 

sohee let out a shaky breath, his eyes finally meeting yours. you brought your hand up to his cheek, caressing it gently. anton stood up as you did this, his hands moving to your shoulders. when he moved you readjusted, one of your legs resting gently on sohee's lap. 

you could feel how hard he was under your leg, his breath hitching in his throat when you put the slightest bit of pressure on his cock. you noticed how small it was, especially in comparison to anton's but you thought that was so endearing, smiling at the idea. 

anton leaned down to your ear, his whispers tickling you slightly, “show him how you kiss me, how you make me feel good..” he places small nibbles and kisses from your ear down to your shoulder. you shut your eyes at this, a shiver falling down your spine. his firm hands grip onto your shoulders, lightly massaging them in his grasp. you sigh contently at the feeling of anton's hands on your body. 

you open your eyes again, they immediately meet sohee's pretty round orbs. “you alright if i kiss you?” you look down at his lips, suddenly noticing how pretty and soft they are. you smile and chuckle a little, noticing a few crumbs of popcorn on his lips. 

you cup his jaw in your hand, your thumb wiping away at the bits of popcorn. he wordlessly accepts your question, his head nuzzling into your grasp. you pull him in, the taste of salt spreading across your mouth when you swipe your tongue along sohee’s lip. you're quickly able to take control of the kiss, one of your hands moving to the back of his head. 

he pushes into the kiss, his body moving forward. sohee's desperate in the way that he kisses, the passion is definitely there. you can tell he's been waiting for this moment with the way he's carrying himself at this point. 

your hand snakes into the hair on the back of his head, your fingers taking hold of the strands there. you pull him away from you, a smile creeping into your face at the way he whines at the feeling of you tugging at his scalp as well as the loss of your lips. 

at this point you're more into this idea than you thought you'd be. you don't yet let go of sohee's hair, your gaze trailing up anton's body until you meet his eyes, his stare filled with satisfaction. 

“should i let him fuck me ton? don't you think he's waited so long, so patiently?” your gaze falls back on sohee, his eyes are unconsciously pleading for you. you let go of his hair, your hand caressing his face again. 

anton nods at you with a shrug, “i mean, he won't be able to fill you up like i do. his cock is so tiny, don't know if he'll even be able to make you cum.” you notice the smile that tugs at the corner of his lips, his smile widening at the sound of sohee’s sad whines. 

“be nice ton! i'm sure he can make me feel good anyways, it's not always about size, right hee?” the boy nods eagerly, another whine leaving him at the nickname you call him. “i- i can do it! can make you feel so good!” he's both shy and desperate in the way he speaks to you, you're getting impossibly wetter by the second. 

anton chuckles to himself again, his hands moving to readjust himself, he's so hard by this point but he's holding himself off. 

he gets behind you once again, his hands grabbing onto the bottom of your top. he pulls it over your head, leaving you with your bra on. he tosses your top onto the table, his eyes staring at sohee. 

sohee, although still fully dressed, feels naked under both of your gaze. he'd never seen anton have this look in his eyes before. he focuses back on you and the way you're laid out before him. 

“go on hee, take my shorts off.” your gaze is heavy on sohee, performance anxiety slowly trickling in. you cuddle back into anton, fingers intertwining with his as they rest on your chest, your legs open in front of sohee. 

with a shaky hand, sohee reaches for the waistband of your pants. he looks so cute right now, shyly moving your shorts down your body. you lift up to help him take them off your legs, the piece of clothing falling to the floor.

sohee bites his lip at the sight of your glistening pussy, swallowing hard as if his mouth was watering over it. “can i.. can i taste you first?” his voice is small and shy, but his fingertips run along your thigh, making you breath out a small moan. anton snorts at this, already knowing how it’ll play out. he leisurely runs his free hand up and down your body.

you nod eagerly at his question, your hole clenching around nothing. sohee notices this as he adjusts his position, laying on his stomach in front of you. luckily the couch is a little bit longer but one of sohee's legs still hangs off the couch, the other resting against the cushion but he doesn't mind. 

you think he looks a little silly but don't pay it much mind, finding him too pitiful to laugh. his thumb shyly runs up your slit, his big eyes looking into yours for a second. he smiles to himself, his excitement evident. 

although he asked to taste you, he actually wasn't too sure what to do, he tried to recall what he'd seen in porn videos but his mind was blank. anton noticed this and he smiled about it a little. 

“you don't even know what to do, huh?” anton knows sohee lacks experience, technically he’s not a virgin, he did have sex once before but it wasn’t much to talk about. sohee shakes his head, his facial expression making you pout at him. 

“do what feels right, me and ton will help you, okay?” you try to reassure him, giving him as much encouragement as you could. anton rolls his eyes slightly at the fact that he was volunteered but he agrees with you anyways. 

sohee musters up the courage to do something, his lips nibbling at the skin of your thigh gently. he places small kisses along your skin, his lips finally resting on your clit. you're full of anticipation, wondering what he'd do next.

a confused expression plays on your face, the movement sohee's doing with his mouth feels strange and unfamiliar. you try to decipher what doesn’t feel right, “think you’re using too much lip sohee, use your tongue.” 

he lifts his head again and nods, eager to learn from you. he sticks his tongue out, dragging it along your pussy, you suck in a breath at this, nodding to sohee. “there you go, such a good boy. anton struggled with this a bit too when we first got together.” your words encouraged sohee but were a bit of a blow to anton. sohee snickered quietly at this, noticing the way anton looked a little annoyed.

his nerves start to subside by this point, allowing him to think a little clearer. the tip of his tongue drew circles on your clit, earning a moan from you. your noises made him more confident, encouraging him to try new things. he sucks on your clit now, finding out what you like each time. 

“such a quick learner, sohee..” the soft praises that fell from your lips got him more riled up than before. you noticed his hips begin to rut into the couch as he ate you out. your hips rolled against his tongue, sohee’s whines vibrating against you. 

anton has his hands in your bra, his fingers playing with your nipples. “gonna cum y/n?” you moan in response to anton's question, your head nodding quickly. anton's fingers pinch at your sensitive buds, adding to the overall feeling. 

sohee humps the couch, his orgasm building up too quickly for him to keep up with. you moan out, your hips stuttering against his tongue. 

he slurps up your juices, his hips stilling too early as he cums in his pants. a frustrated sigh falls from sohee's lips as he accidentally ruins his own orgasm, still painfully hard. 

you sit up after this, eyes locking with sohee's, “want you to fuck me hee, wanna see what you got.” sohee's mind is cloudy, his body moving quicker than his mind can. he stands up off the couch, removing his shirt before running his hands through his hair. 

you move to help sohee out, your hands eagerly untying his pajama pants. when his pants fall down you're immediately met with the sight of his red, dripping, cock and it makes you smile up at him. 

“no underwear? must've been so eager..” you grab his length in your hand, the size easily fitting in your grasp. 

you look at it like you're investigating something, “did you cum in your pants baby?” sohee nods, suddenly feeling embarrassed again but you praise him instead, telling him how cute he is. 

you lay flat on your back now, inviting sohee between your legs again. anton is standing again, now removing his own clothes 

sohee hovers over you, one arm hooking under your leg. your hand caresses his cheek again, “fuck me pretty boy.” 

he presses into you, his hips quickly becoming flush with yours. he leans down on his elbow, his face close to yours as his hips begin to rut into yours. 

he wastes no time picking up a steady pace, his desperation taking over. his hips snap against you harshly, both of you moaning continuously.

you kiss sohee, eyes shutting tightly at the feeling of him. he's so caught up in the sensation, no thoughts in his mind right now. he feels his orgasm bud in his stomach, pulling away from the kiss. he nuzzled his face into your neck, his cum shooting into you.

“m’ sorry, so sorry!!” sohee's voice is apologetic and whiny as he speaks. you laugh quietly which catches sohee's attention, he slowly lifts his face to look at you. “it's okay, gorgeous, you're alright.” 

anton sighs, hand gently stroking his length in his grasp. he’s had enough of watching the two of you, this was his idea after all but the thought of you being left unsatisfied has him almost losing it. “let me show you how to really fuck her good.” 

he takes sohee’s place, positioning you with your ass in the air. its moments like this where you’re reminded how strong he is, the way he slightly lifts you by your hips. he spreads your pussy lips apart, the sight of sohee’s cum dripping out of you making his cock twitch.

“fuck..” anton’s big hands grip your ass cheeks firmly, just the feeling of his hands anywhere on your body makes you so needy. you reach for sohee, hands guiding him to the spot in front of you, where anton was sitting before. you grip onto sohee as you feel anton’s fingers dip into you again. sohee watches intently as anton pleases you.

the sound of your pussy rings in your ears, the slick squelching making excitement bubble in your stomach once again. anton rubs the tip of his cock against you, groaning at the feeling of you. he lines up with your opening, pressing his length into you. he slides in relatively easily because of how wet you are. you begin to feel full already, his full length not in you yet.

your hips push back on anton, moving side to side so he enters you fully. you moan at the feeling of him stretching you out. you lick your lips as you eye sohee’s smaller cock in front of you, red and leaking once again. your hand makes a fist on his length, pumping it once or twice in your grasp. sohee’s sensitive by this point, you can tell by the way his body shudders at the feeling of your hand on him.

anton's thrusts are rough and deep as he fucks into you, your body jolting forward with every hit. you muffle your moans on sohee's length, the tip of his cock tickling the back of your throat. 

sohee thrusts into your mouth as he chases his high, one hand in your hair, head thrown back in pleasure. 

your fingernails dig into the skin of sohee's hips as you feel anton repeatedly hit your sweet spot. anton smacks your ass persistently, the sting causing your eyes to roll back. 

you pull off of sohee's length, pumping him in your hand as you moan out. you come undone first, unable to catch your breath as anton continues thrusting into you. 

sohee cums next, his hand grasping onto your jaw so he can place your lips back on his tip, his cum shooting into your mouth. anton follows shortly after, his thrusts slowing down as you feel yourself being filled up once more. he slowly thrusts into you a few more times, his hands gripping you hard. 

when anton pulls out of you he admires your cunt, the sight of you dripping once again, this time with his cum makes him feel good. you hold sohee’s cum in your mouth, sitting up and turning to where they both can see you. anton loves to watch you swallow his seed so it only seems right for you to do it for the both of them. 

you open your mouth, showing the cum that pools on your tongue before you swallow it, sticking out your tongue to show them that you swallowed it. anton grins at you, kissing your cheek lovingly, “such a good girl.” 

sohee watches you, his feelings for you getting stronger, maybe he shouldn't have agreed to this after all, but he can’t go back now.

[still-fatemeh]

...Passion Is the Gale.

Still baring the pain...

16! stormbringer chuuya x oc

(I decided to keep takako as character's name because I've already posted the first one with that name, but it doesn't necessarily nod back to the real takako ueno)

(The fanarts credit goes to the creator)

Her gaze was fixed on her own reflection in the bathroom mirror, the toothbrush hanging idly on her bottom lip, eyes searching for something but there wasn't anything in that reflection, there was just a corpse staring back at her. Her hands clutched the hem of her shirt in a desperate attempt at calming down her nerves and stop the thudding of her heart in her ears.

All five of The Young Blood at once and without any hardship, probably he didn't even struggle...

THAT was something else entirely, in it's own league. He was no normal human, that was for sure but only a monster can take out all five of them at the same time. Her head hurt, she felt sick to her stomach.

Chuuya didn’t wanna talk to her. He didn't even look at her texts.

That wasn't the problem

She understood. The texts were more out of formality than anything else. He probably didn't even spare his phone a glance, his head a mess. Chuuya wasn't the best at dealing with his emotions, he didn't know how to grieve for them.

Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it's overwhelming. All you can do is learn to swim and he's an avid swimmer. Well, not by his own record but thanks to albatross who felt the need to drag the poor boy out in the middle of the night to god knows where in the port.

Takako spat out the toothpaste in her mouth, looking at the blood mixed with it as it went down the drain. She couldn't remember the last time her gums bled while brushing her teeth, maybe when she was eight and brushed her teeth with one of those singing toothbrushes. She felt like she was looking at the rotting corpse of that little girl and those memories were those of another person. A girl who knowingly threw herself in the pit of demons instead of dying with dignity. Dignity is as essential to human life as water, food, and oxygen. The stubborn retention of it, even in the face of extreme physical hardship, can hold a person's soul in their body long past the point at which the body should have surrendered it. She had to survive, she didn't even know why but she had to. She could almost hear the sound of his jaw breaking, as the man pressed his shoe into her brother's skull. She didn't scream, just trembled as she watched the man in black shoot him three times. BANG BANG BANG. That's how her brother became a corpse, a ghost of the past.

Fear is a part of life. It's a warning mechanism. That's all. It tells you when there's danger around. Its job is to help you survive. Not cripple you into being unable to do it. She wasn't afraid of death, she never was. She'd grown up accustomed to it. Felt its ominous shadow looming over her at all times.

Kouyou's girls called them port mafia's singles. Heh, oh God. Then it became port mafia's singles AND chuuya. She remembered albatross' lively cackling and chuuya's muttered curses as they walked together. Chuuya hated too much noise and albatross loved parties. A match made in hell. The blond was the most cheerful guy she knew in this shithole, a sweetheart and she could almost imagine chuuya's betrayed look if she ever said that to his face.

Before her mouth could curve up into an absent smile, the damn toothbrush hit the bathroom tiles with a loud thud.

She clicked her tongue, bending down to pick it up. She had to double check 'cause the thing was so goddamn bloody, there was no way in hell that all that blood came of her mouth.

She dropped it in the sink with an annoyed huff, she could just throw it out later.

Takako rinsed her mouth, watching as blood dripped into the sink. What the hell...

She stomped out of the bathroom, her room drenched in darkness. The only source of illumination was her bedside lamp that didn't even have enough light to attract flies.

She wanted to turn on the TV, pick her phone, pick up a Goddamn book to get her mind off of the fact that she had deliberately left chuuya alone. She knew he didn't want her beside him now, that would be so bitchy of her to not give him the needed privacy.

She wanted to rip off that poster of lippman in her room, the one from his most famous romance movie. The man was gorgeous. Lippmann was an extremely powerful skill user with an ability that reacted to and countered an attacker's thirst for blood. Therefore, it would be impossible to kill him without leaving behind any evidence. If his killer's name got out, every major news organization the world over would be chomping at the bit to expose the person's history, motive, and who was backing them. Whatever organization ordered the hit would lose any privacy it once had, and that would spell its end. Murdering Lippmann was a death trap- a bomb that would go off the moment he died hence why nobody had the guts to lay a hand on him.

But there he was. Another corpse ready to to be swallowed by the dark pit of this city's underground.

And piano man? The executive-to-be?

Even Ice man the assasin?

Even Doc?

The five of them together were a force to reckoned with but...

All of their skills apparently paled in comparison to Europe's king of assassins.

Why the hell would the killer of two of the English queen's personal guards be in yokohama in pursuit of chuuya?

Just what was this boy?

She had heard of the explosion, the reports say that it was hell on earth. The casualties were minimum, not that many deaths. But one side of a nearby eight story building had just vanished, completely and utterly gone. Melted streetlights, parked cars, asphalt...

Black flames, the same ones who burnt a hole so big in this city that it can never recover. Suribachi city, where she was raised. The same flames that were associated with the appearance of the previous boss last year, that led to the death of her superior, Randō. He was a sub-executive at that time and apparently a traitor, which was impossible. The man who was always cold, a traitor?

He was killed by that wraith, dazai and chuuya. Apparently, he was the one who brought back the previous boss, but the details on this case were a lot less clear.

And now...

Those black flames were back, and in the middle of it, was chuuya.

Oh God, just who was this boy?

He never told her anything, waiting so she could figure it out herself or maybe just keeping her in the dark. It wasn't how she liked it at all, it was a burden that both of them were supposed to bare, not just his alone. That was the whole point of a relationship, to share the burdens on their shoulders so the weight would lessen. She knew one day he'd tell her everything, just like she told him about her unsavoury past, but apparently not that soon.

She sighed, reaching for the drawer on the nightstand next to her bed to take out a pack of cigarettes.

But that was when she heard it. Someone was knocking on the door to her apartment, the sound was subtle. It couldn't have been chuuya since he probably wouldn't want to see her now. He'd never knock like that. He always knocked on her flat's door expectantly, as If he would take it off hinges if she didn't open it at the moment's notice. It couldn't have been gin-chan or amane or any other one of her friends, they would have definitely called before appearing on her front door in the middle of the night.

The knocking was calculated and very polite. She had no idea how knocking could sound polite, but it did.

"Who is it?"

She shouted harshly but was met with no answer.

Whoever that was knocking at her door was very persistent.

An enemy? No, why would they come for her of all people in this high-end apartment complex.

She got off her bed out of curiosity, putting a dress shirt over her shoulders and reaching for her sliver pistol to shove it in the wristband of her sleep shorts. She cursed anyone who made these doors and was dumb enough not to put peepholes.

She walked to the door silently, gently opening it and peeking to see who was it that was knocking.

And the moment her eyes fell upon him, she lost it.

A blanche, pallid expression came over her face, losing the little hint colour that it already had. Her palms felt clammy as she tried to slam the door shut but he put his shoe in front of it, preventing the door from closing, her heart pounded in her ears as the bile rose in her throat.

"Hello, you must be takako ueno, right?" He said sweetly.

The king of assassins was tall. A blonde european man with a pork pie hat similar to that of she'd seen with chuuya. He wore a suit the colour of midnight sea.

Her mouth was dry, her throat felt swollen. This was the guy who took out all five of the flags at once.

Damn it, say something! At least deny it! Yell at him that you don't know who the fuck takako is!!!

She could only look up at him in abject horror as the man smiled. A mischievous smirk that made her stomach churn with fear, judging from his playful way of analysing her face, he appeared to be enjoying what he saw.

"Oh, cat's got your tongue, sweetheart?"

He said mischievously, shoving a bouquet of flowers in her face.

What the hell?

She absent-mindedly caught the flowers, whispering: "You're Paul Verlaine, right?"

He nodded his head, amused.

"Certainly, would you happen to be accepting any guests?"

She couldn't process what was going on but played along. For this man, killing her was a piece of cake, probably. Her thoughts were going a million miles a minute, weighing each and every possible option and possibility. There were not many delightful ones though. He was here to kill her, there could be no other business.

But fucking WHY?

"Yeah... I'm takako. Why are you here?" She mumbled like a deer in headlights, her fingers loosely holding onto the flowers as she swallowed thickly.

"I'm just here for a little talk, takako."

He said elegantly, waiting for the light upstairs to finally turn on but the problem was the lights in her mind were already going out, flickering on and off hundreds of times a second.

She finally snapped out of that fear-induced trance as she asked him with narrowed eyes: "What exactly do you wanna talk to me about?"

Takako Ueno, the girl in question was short in stature and was eyeing him with a venomous gaze. The madmoiselle had slick black that each lock curled near the ends. Big bluish green eyes that were like turquoise stones, glassy and doey. He could easily see the appeal that made chuuya choose her, for a girl her age, she was really beautiful.

"Oh, I think we can talk inside. It won't be so polite of you to keep your guest waiting outside." Verlaine said smoothly and the girl's jaw tightened, gritting her teeth in frustration.

"Gatecrashers don't get to come inside. Just what the hell could you want from me? Why are you after chuuya?"

She observed the flowers in her hands, presumably checking for poison and then cast him another dirty look.

"Oh little lady, let's cut the chase. I'm just here to meet the girl that has stolen my little brother's heart."

"Little... brother?" She questioned with a grimace.

"Unfortunately for you, creep; chuuya doesn't have a brother or a family of his own, if he did, he would have told me."

"It seems like he's lied to you."

"Or you're simply bullshitting." She spat out with certainty and that made verlaine's lips curve up into a faint smirk.

"What makes you so sure of his honesty?"

"It's obvious, really. I would believe his words over yours any time of day."

verlaine's smirk broadened.

"Interesting..." He mused.

Takako chose her next words carefully.

"Why did you kill the Young Blood? Are you here to... kill me as well?"

Takako swallowed her fear along with her disdain so she could look him in the eyes for a moment.

Empty brown eyes, ones that despite the spark of mischief in them, were clouded over with unimaginable grief. The eyes that had absolutely no humanity in them, she was definitely looking a monster in the eye.

"Yes indeed. You're quite sharp, aren't you?"

That was it, her death sentence. As much as he tried to sugar-coat it with his tone, she could feel her body going numb and shivers running down her spine.

She moved aside to let him in, still holding the bouquet of red roses with an uneasy grip, her hands trembling.

She felt like a lamb in the slaughterhouse while standing in the hallway of her own apartment. A lamb with a knife pressed against its throat. She knew the more she struggled, the more painful her death was going to be.

And The King of Assassins happily invited himself inside, striding forward as he observed her place with curiosity.

Fumi hurriedly slammed himself into the cage's walls, alarmed. Verlaine observed the canary with his head tilted to the side. A bird? Interesting...

His eyes trailed to the polaroids and photos on a shelf, on display. There were photos of the girl among a group of girls, presumably her friends. There were even a few ones with the bird. And photos of her and chuuya. A lot of them.

A photo tucked in the back of her and an older man standing together, they shared similar features and he had her hands on her shoulders, she was smiling ear to ear.

She looked so happy in all of the pictures, a concept foreign to the likes of him.

But... Chuuya was also smiling in a lot of them. They were newer, like the photos with her friends.

In one of the them, he was smiling widely while a holding a champagne glass, clearly intoxicated to an extent. His eyes were squeezed shut and he was giving the camera a precious smile. His attire had gotten messy, clearly due to his inebriated state and he simply seemed... happy

In another one, he was, for unknown reasons, trying to tie Dazai to a chandelier by his ankles with a rope and dazai was hanging upside-down without protest.

In another one, he was pressing a chaste kiss to takako's cheek while holding her waist. Another one of him pushing her in a lake. Them eating together at a restaurant...

There were a lot of them. A lot of memories. They happened to chuuya, and he seemed happy that they did. He seemed like he belonged with them. But, his happiness wasn't going to last long.

Verlaine knew that chuuya must have felt othered and alienated by these people. Chuuya was different from them, that was how he was supposed to feel. He understood more than anyone realized how chuuya must have felt when someone told him "They loved him". And he understood how he trusted her who gave affection. Really, he did. But his trust in the girl will only cause him to suffer because she will eventually betray him.

But verlaine failed to justify the smiles.

"Can I have this one?"

He pointed to the photo of chuuya's smile and she immediately shook her head in a manner that indicated a negative answer.

Why the hell did he want chuuya's photo?

Takako inhaled sharply, she even considered running out the door or shooting him with the pistol that she had with herself. None of these options were going to work. He was the same person who had managed to kill a decoy of the Queen of England... They would do nothing other than shortening her life even more.

Her wide eyes traced his steps as he sat down on one of her chairs around the tiny dining table, crossing his legs elegantly as he gestured for her to also sit down.

A sarcastic snort escaped her throat.

"Do you want tea or somethin' too, I guess?" She said mockingly, trying to conceal the nausea that was the result of her stress, she gulped again to get rid of the need to puke out her guts right now.

"That'd be lovely, takako. Finally someone who knows how to treat a guest around here..."

He sighed softly. And after four more minutes of her just standing there in the middle of the hall, her expression caught between terrified and confused, his smile faded.

"Ahhhh, I take back what I said."

"Would you like some chinsoku, it tastes wonderful with tea!" Her mouth opened unconsciously. She sounded hysteric more than anything, the corner of her lips twitching uncomfortably.

Verlaine merely raised a brow.

"I'm not here to waste time."

He said sharply.

"I came here to see you, but it was so easy and you're incredibly defenceless, so I want to talk to you before I finish my business."

Takako let out another sigh at his not-so-subtle jab. She didn't want him to lose his civil demeanor, that'd just make things more difficult and make her death proceed faster and more painfully. It was true, she was practically at his mercy. Dragging it out was her best chance of survival. Against an ability user that powerful, an invasion based attack was her only chance of buying some time. And coming up with a good surprise attack was something that required patience.

She suddenly slammed the tray of chinsuko on the kitchen counter with an unnatural smile and transferred them to a plastic plate (Not planning on giving him more weaponry choices) and placed them in front of him. Walking back to the kitchen to get some herbal tea.

Verlaine's expression was unimpressed, partially indifferent as he put some of the sweets to his mouth.

Takako put the plastic cups in front of him with that same helpless smile as she sat down. It was uncanny and uncomfortable as it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Verlaine disliked herbal tea, black tea or coffee were better options.

Another sharp breath and the girl became more relaxed, as if she felt she had nothing to lose anymore.

"I did some research on you, takako..."

"As a matter of courtesy as an assassin?"

She asked with a pointed smile, absent-mindedly guessing his thoughts.

He merely smirked.

"Oh, you get it, huh?"

"Yeah, I do." She said inattentively.

"If you're killing someone, you might as well know who you're killing, right?" She said, her eyes downcast. Now she knew how the victims of a assassination must have felt before she finished her mission.

Verlaine looked bored out of his mind, she internally cursed herself for choosing the wrong subject. What do inhumane assassins even wanna talk about? Maybe it was just the fact that she didn't amuse him.

"So you and chuuya... get along, am I correct?" His words made her snap out of it, shattering her train of thoughts.

So that was what he wanted to talk about... of course...

She didn't know how to respond to that, so she just nodded her head as a way to confirm it for him.

"We do, most of the time." She whispered softly.

"So how long have you known him?"

He asked, eyes fixated on the table.

"For around a year." Another absent mutter from her.

"Interesting... Mind telling me more about him?" He said firmly, obviously expecting something of an answer but takako only raised a brow at his question.

"Why should I tell you anything about him?" She sounded offended and disgusted at the same time.

"I don't think you're in a position to refuse answering my questions, little lady. I'm just curious about my little brother. You probably know him best, what's he like as a person?" He cooed with a faint smile and a hint of interest as he picked another one of the japanese sweets.

"Chuuya's... someone who doesn't leave you be when you're struggling." She realised how hypocritical it was for her to expect him to be there for her when she left him on his own to process his grief.

"He..."

What this guy even wanted to know?

"He was there for me when I needed him. He doesn't know how to talk someone through something which is understandable..." She said that with a little smile.

"But he listens to the best of his ability."

There wasn't much of an expression on verlaine's face as it was utterly and unimaginably empty.

Takako's smile morphed into a faint smirk.

"What else do you wanna know? I can tell you EVERYTHING." She was grinning as if she's just discovered a new game she could play.

"Let's see... His favourite colour is red, though he sometimes says it's black. Chuuya's favourite food is saba sashimi, likes it fresh and with low sodium soy sauce, he likes steak too. He eats any meal well, isn't picky at all if it's paired with a good wine. He's trying to start collecting wine, learn wine tasting and how different environments results in different tastes... He said one day he'll get his hands on a 1964 Romanée-conti which is very expensive..."

[undercover-stories]

I've always loved the idea of wangxian accidentally making their own clan. Like they would never actually want to because they're happy with just themselves and Lan Zhan still sees himself as a Lan but maybe in the au i made where Lan Zhan wrote history books on Wei Ying (here), word gets passed around really quick that demonic cultivation isn't dangerous or corrupting. It's literally just a an alternative cultivation method. Of course you need to be careful with it because every cultivation method has its limits and can cause harm (side eyes the Nie clan and the fact that they literally use resentful energy to cultivate their sabers to sometimes disastrous results)

But the best part is that Wei Yings cultivation method is perfect for people who have weak cores or simply struggle to cultivate in the classical method. And because of this they can be ostracized, belittled and in worse case scenarios just kicked out of their clan for being 'useless'. So people suddenly start showing up asking Wei ying to teach them and he's like, "I'm not real a teacher but you can tag along if you want", and they do and yeah, Wei Ying is very much a really good teacher and people would spend weeks with them learning with the only rule being that as soon as they all get back from a night hunt they are NOT to be bothered. The only time they stop is when wangxian goes back to Gusu for the winter.

But as months turn into years more and more people show up to learn under Wei Ying so some of the first students basically open up a school where they can teach other and occasionally have Master Wei come over to teach a few classes but there will always be a small crowd of disciples following wangxian around. And at some point wangxian shows up to the school for his annual semester of teaching that he promised and there's a plaque above the doorway that says "The Wei Clan for Demonic cultivation" and Wei Ying thinks it's the funniest shit.

But it all seriousness there is a legit need for this school because of the type of students that they collect and what started off as something small turned into a full-blown administration that create an actual curriculum with classes that cover most basics so when Wei Ying comes over to teach they can go straight to the advance stuff. The members/students do research and store copies of their findings at the school and there's so much of it that they even have their own forbidden library that is very well guarded.

Some of the students become nomads after they leave but most stay and the administration forms a system where they can send their disciples to certain areas that might need their help the same way Lan Zhan does with the juniors. They have dorms, cafeteria, recreational spaces. A huge open space a little far off from the school that's used to test with whatever experiment they've cooked up but of course you can only do it under supervision of a senior. Especially since a lot of juniors range between 8-16 because they were sent to the school to be taught because they'd been turned away from everywhere else

Basically wangxian indirectly brought Xiao Xingchen and Song Lans dream to life about starting a clan that had nothing to do with prestige or blood. Just anyone who wants to learn or join a community.

Of course they have rules. Very important rules, especially pertaining to rogue users who use what they've learned to harm others but they're rare because everyone who's part of the clan just really love being a part of it. Most of them are basically outsiders who were never given the chance due to a weakness that wasn't their fault. The Wei Clan and school is their home. Of course some go back to their parents and relatives who still love them once in a while for a visit and because of that those clan members have basically designated certain places that are under their protection. They're not shooing other clans away but these small areas are always safe from any trouble.

And because there are risks in practicing demonic cultivation the members and administration are also really serious about preventing that from ever happening. They always look for signs like the person becoming more isolated, sometimes violent. They're super strict about stopping rogue practitioners that are using what they've learned to hurt others.

And as years pass the Wei Clan becomes super prestigious and well respected by the majority of other clans. Lan Zhan also has classes where he teaches the students Lan techniques. He's not adamant about keeping the Lan techniques a secret so he teaches them the basics they can use to strengthen what they've learned. True to his heritage he does accidentally bring some Lan rules in his reprimands and some of it become part of the rules and guidelines of the Wei Clan

Even better, Wen Ning also occasionally teaches a few classes of his own. Some about the Wen Techniques. Some about his sisters knowledge on medicine. He doesn't practice it but he knows enough by memory that he could recall almost everything his sister had shared when he was alive.

So the whole curriculum is very much an amalgamation and a mix of techniques from a variety of different sources so but there's no strict hard and fast rule that you have to master all of them. You learn what works for you and you hone it to perfection.

And because there's no emphasis on blood, name or prestige, the Wei Clan actually lasts way longer than the other clans because they're always open to any outsiders who want to join.

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

I just made myself a cup of a new tea, one from a set that a friend sent me. I was super curious to try it with and without milk in it, so after I take a sip without, I'm going to add milk to my tea.

That may seem like such an inane little story to post on a blog, unless you have an eating disorder. I'm sure many of you know what a big deal milk in tea can be, and what an important act of self-love it is.

It was poured into many of our ears, approaching teenhood in the mid-2000's, not to "drink our calories." For those of us whose restriction was weight-based, many of us practiced filling ourselves with water, with our coffee black and unsweetened whether that was how we liked it or not, and with tea that never contained milk.

Like many people who've struggled with binge eating and with restriction, I struggle with creating anxiety-inducing rules about when is okay to eat, especially if I'm between meals and worrying if I should allow myself a snack, or if it's okay to quench my thirst with anything other than water. This is especially true between meals. For some reason my brain has accepted the "extra" caloric intake as part of a meal, but still balks at the idea of introducing these things independently into non-meal parts of the day. I would like to note that my chronic illness and my body's reaction to food has also influenced this weird relationship between me and my favorite treats, such as a piece of candy, or a beverage that might happen to contain a greater-than-zero calorie count.

But tonight, before bed, I want to try this tea. And it sounds like one that'd be super tasty with milk, as it has cocoa powder and vanilla in the blend. So I let my tea cool in the room with me as I type this, telling myself that I can get up and go back for milk after I taste it.

Now I have gone to the kitchen.

Now I have poured in a splash of milk and tasted. It's soy milk, as regular milk sometimes hurts my stomach and I don't want my sleep to be disrupted. Due to my chronic illness, this is still something I have to think about, and I'll be honest, I hate it. Things like this make it so hard to tell myself I can let go of my food fears, because my brain knows that some of my food fears will turn out to have validity, and so what if they all do?

Now I have poured in another splash. Tasted.

Now I have poured in a third, much larger splash. Tasted.

Oh, this is it. This tea tastes like a warm dessert. But now it's too cool, so I need to microwave it back to its best heat. I used to not want to microwave my food. As a teen I heard a hippie say that microwaves destroy the nutrients in your food because the radiation breaks down their molecular structure. This is absolutely false. In fact, it's been disproven that microwaves break down nutrients any more than other methods of heating food, but for a long time I believed it. And even after I learned the truth, I still found it hard to convince myself it was okay to use microwaves for a very long time.

I have just finished my tea in my room. I took the time to identify that I wanted it. I took the time to truly taste it in several different ways, consider how I felt I wanted it and bring it to those specifications. It wasn't planned for any specific time or day, but I agreed to give myself this the way I wanted it anyway. I've been drinking my coffee with milk every morning, too. I actually like black coffee, but I like it better with milk. And I give myself things throughout the day that I enjoy, to enhance my experience of my existence. Life is hard, and it's okay to allow yourself, to the fullest extent you can, the small joys that bring you through the day.

I wanted to share this with you. I hope you don't feel the crushing weight of morality when staring at a bottle of regular soda and the sugar-free, when you wake up with your morning coffee, when your self-care regimen includes a cup of tea. I hope you practice actively giving yourself the love you need this week. And I hope you give it to yourself exactly the way you need it.

[leidensygdom]

Just a bit of a personal thought, but I have grown to deeply dislike how social media, with its' competitive algorithm and need to have a perfect performance, is often giving people a really wrong idea of what is it actually to do art.

Most times, artists are rewarded by posting only their best work: A badly performing post in places like Instagram may affect how well your next post performs. It also prefers you to post finished pictures, very presentable sketches, that kind of stuff. Which is rarely the bulk of an artists' work. Even speedpaints have been chewed down into palatable videos barely reaching 15 seconds. Tiktok and Instagram reels prefer extremely short videos, and speedpaints are mostly just few (sparkles) aesthetic (sparkles) shots of minuscule parts of the process.

And all of that, I've found, gives people this really weird image of what is art actually like. A lot of starting artists grow to make idols out of bigger ones, thinking that these people can only create perfect pieces effortlessly, but that's not how it works. Very far from that. It's mostly that artists that keep active social media and have grown to know the game, know that showing the rough parts of art is not what gets you favoured by the algorithm.

I've been thinking about this ever since I saw a video on twitter of a fairly long speedpaint for what you usually see in social media, I think 4 minutes long, where the person redrew portions of the sketch up to five times. And a lot of people mentioned it was enlightening to see the struggle, to see that even a competent artist sometimes will struggle doing a little phone cord for an hour.

I think that's something I have kind of experienced, too. I'm not a big artist, but a lot of people have mentioned they find me intimidating still, up until they know me on Discord or something and realize I'm just a goof like any other. Up until I mention a face refused to work for 2 hours and I gave up, or how I randomly keep learning new basic functionalities in my drawing software of choice. And I think that's crucial to share too: Art is not a linear road! It isn't a smooth trip! You'll fail again and again and sometimes will end up going back to a previous point, then take another path. Sometimes you render a whole drawing and decide it looks bad so you start over. Sometimes you realize the lines came out wonky as hell and end up redoing it. Sometimes you gave a character 6 fingers or forgot people have eyebrows. It happens! And it's part of what making art is!

I mentioned this on Twitter- I rarely have visible proof of these struggles, but for an Artfight drawing (where I am trying to be speedy), I struggled with a cloak. For long. I made a thumbnail, I made a sketch, realized the cloak didn't work out, so I redrew it over and over again. I deleted most of the discarded sketches, but here's a few of the things that survived.

And like, I'm tired of not talking about this! I'm sad that people think they're failing because their art process isn't as smooth as it could be! So, yeah: I guess rant over, but I just have been thinking about this a bunch lately. If you'd like, do please feel free to reblog or share in replies any similar situations, struggles and flops. I think it could help people to realize how this is actually just a natural part of the process.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hey! before I begin, I wanted to say how much I love your comics!! the style and palettes are really soothing, and it's always nice to read them, relate heavily, and not feel quite such an oddball!! so thanks :]

I (very recently) received the results of my diagnosis for autism and adhd (I got both, and a couple other smaller things) and was wondering what things you did differently immediately after diagnosis that helped you? I've tried things like proper organisation and cleaning, keeping on top of deadlines for college as much as I am able, and trying to study as much as I can (a levels are very stressful even though I've only just started the course, and while these solutions are what's considered "good" by the college, its not really helping me as much as I would like)

a large part of the diagnosis was dedicated to brain function (I had the privelidge of being assessed privately, so the evidence was very detailed and thorough), and I scored stupidly high on vocabulary and language study. However, I feel like there's somewhat of a disconnect between the effort I've put in on my foreign language studies and the progress I'm seeing- I'm trying so so hard to understand grammatical concepts and absorb a lot of vocabulary in preparation for some smaller tests in the near future, but I'm not seeing the reward during lessons or even with preparation. I am fully aware that with all the work and effort I'm spending, I am closer than I would like to be to a meltdown and probably burnout, which I desperately want to avoid. It just feels that although my brain is wired for linguistic study, I feel like I'm falling behind or failing

I guess if you have any advice or anything that helped you once your diagnosis was confirmed, or tips for study, I would be greatly appreciative :]

Tldr: struggling with study and fearful of failure, any advice?

hnng I remember the stress of A levels, you couldn't pay me to go through that again 🫠

After being diagnosed I started to allow myself to unmask and stim in more obvious ways. Previously my stims had generally been pretty small, like flicking my fingers or wiggling a bit, but now I allow myself to flap and rock and play with fidget toys as well and it genuinely does help release tension.

It sounds like your're working really hard - if you feel close to burnout and/or meltdowns, you might be working too hard. I also found it really hard to take breaks when I was studying (...still do) but the truth is, by not allowing your mind to rest, you're actually making it harder for yourself to learn and retain information.

So my advice is, take a break! A real break, not 'I'm gonna scroll on my phone for a bit' or 'I went to the toilet that counts as a break right'. Get up, step away from your work for at least an hour, and do something you find relaxing and fun. Go for a walk or just sit outside. Make yourself a drink. Take a nap if you need to. Try to avoid looking at screens during your break if you can. And when you go back to studying, schedule times to have regular short breaks as well (eg a 10 minute break every hour). I set alarms for mine because otherwise I forget to move for five hours.

A break allows your brain to process the information and let it settle properly. When you go back to work you'll hopefully feel more refreshed and able to take in information again. Remember, if you've just started the course, then this is a marathon, not a sprint, so please try not to overdo it and burn yourself out right at the start. Conserve your energy for the long haul.

If you're still struggling, are you able to ask for help, maybe from a friend or a teacher? A teacher could give you some techniques on how to improve in the specific areas you find difficult, and sometimes just talking through the bit you're having trouble with or not understanding can help a lot.

Good luck with your studies and I hope you take some time to rest as well :)

[jymwahuwu]

TW: non-con, yandere, creepy plant, female reader, spanking without consent

Imagine you are a trainee Forest Ranger. You've heard of Tighnari's reputation in Akademiya, you know he's talented and popular.

Somehow, you are always failing in front of him. When he pointed out your mistakes in knowledge and work for the fifth or sixth time, you complained a little to the Chief Officer. You're too proud to admit your mistake and start taunting and antagonizing him.

You challenge Tighnari's decision in a meeting, speaking in a casual tone ("okay, whatever. It's your decision again anyway."). The other Forest Rangers are aware of the antagonism between you. Tighnari noticed, sometimes he would deal with your rudeness, sometimes not. The first time he asked you to pay attention to your words and manners, you stomped and responded. "Yes, I know, sir."

After a while, you continue to act like this.

Another day of work, patrolling new forest routes. Tighnari reminds you of the discovery of a new plant that actively grabs its prey. And you rolled your eyes and responded perfunctorily - Tighnari was so condescending, treating you like you were ignorant.

You patrol the route marked on the map, check for tourists, and record the condition of the trees. As you approach a flower, something grabs your foot and pulls you back violently. With a scream, a plant grabs your waist, and your body and legs hang in midair. You struggle with all your might, try to use your knowledge to get out of the situation, but it doesn't work. Instead, the dangerous plant sends a sweet smell to your face - and heat builds up your lower body. it hurts. The fluid began to wet the cracks. You can't touch yourself, just whimper and rub your thighs to comfort yourself, in a desperate way.

A few hours later, Tighnari found you.

Lustful plants hang you in mid-air. All the clothes are still intact to hide your privacy, but the juice that has been dripping has created a deep black water trail in the dirt below. Tighnari just reached out to save you, but stopped - the tip of your tongue stuck out involuntarily, your eyes were wrapped in mist and you were helpless, tears were already streaming down your cheeks, faint moans and whimpers lingered in the forest, as if inviting petting.

"Tigh…nari? Help- help me…"

You recognize him and whisper his name in gratitude and shame.

But the next second - your panties are pulled down, your private parts are exposed to the air, and a slap on your ass. You didn't expect this at all and squirted involuntarily. Admiring the spectacle, he continues to slap your ass cheeks, relentlessly pushing you to another orgasm.

"Of course I will help you, but you have to learn first."

"I've had enough of your attitude."

You apologized inarticulately, salivating, trying to avoid continuous slaps. You just look like a mess.

"Huh? You're only moaning, I didn't hear you."

Tighnari pretends to listen to you, but only spreads your legs and squeezes into the tight wall, that pleasure like the land greets the first spring rain, the fingers caressing you after the thrusting begins. As the uncomfortable feeling wears off and the cum is pumped deep down, you gasp, unable to utter a single logical word.

The plant still has a firm grip on you, holding you in this position.

Maybe you should have shown him a little respect before.