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at my wedding yes i will have a maid of honour but why stop there. ill give all my maids titles. we will have a maid of hope. a maid of horror. a maid of horticulture. a maid of harm. a maid of healing. and of course. a maid of hogs

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Some random guy online: Hey, wouldn't it be funny if I was a girl? Wouldn't it be hilarious? Like, as a joke. I would wear a dress and be pretty and people would think I'm beautiful. Haha, doesn't that crack you up?

Trans women: You say stuff like this all the time, maybe you're a woman? You could transition.

Dipshits, every time: HOLY FUCK can you people NOT? HE can pick HIS gender and clearly HE is comfortable as a MAN. He's joking anyway, he said so. Let people do what they want and don't pressure them!!!

Same random person: I'm a girl now. I realized all those jokes I made were covering up my actual feelings.

Trans women: ...

Dipshots: Wow! That really came out of left field. Of COURSE we support you, king. Haha, I mean queen.

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Getting a bit sick of all the "ooh I'm so glad Laios has a soft body!" "Laios is built like an average guy" style posts. Because he doesn't and isn't.

Laios is built like a fucking professional wrestler. He isn't like, super chiseled or anything but he does not have an "average" body, he his built like someone who does a LOT of physical effort and training.

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I keep seeing americans on my timeline acting like voting doesn't matter because both candidates are pro israel...... There's like a bunch of other issues though? I have a lot of queer friends in America, I would like them to not die. And there's abortion rights. Don't get me started on project 2025. You should still vote. Am I crazy?

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People starting apple cider vs pumpkin spice beef are weak, I will demolish any seasonal beverage you put in front of me without hesitation

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I want to keep a simple memory of me with you if I die in this war. I may not be a professional artist, but I want to give you something that expresses my deep love for you. In many moments, sadness and despair filled my heart and I wished for death a lot, but your support and embrace of me was a beacon of hope for me. Israel killed a person I loved and adored and built my future with, but it compensated me with you (I am not exaggerating or flattering you), but you are a family to me. You may not consider me as such, but I consider you family and friends to me. If I die in this war, know that you have made me very happy with your support. Goodbye my friends. You are the most beautiful thing I have gotten in this war. This is the fundraiser I created to save my family. If you want to support me, donate to me and my family. I love you all.

Forgive me if I have saddened any of you.

•My campaign has been verified✓✓

@\nabulsi here @\el-shab-hussein here

@fancysmudges @brokenbackmountain @aleciosun @fluoresensitivearchived @khizuo @lesbiandardevil @transmutationisms @schoolhater @timogsilangan @appsa @buttercuparry @sayruq @malcriada @palestinegenocide @sar-soor @akajustmerry @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @feluka @tortiefrancis @flower-tea-fairies @tsaricides @riding-with-the-wild-hunt @visenyasdragon @belleandsaintsebastian @ear-motif @kordeliiius @brutaliakhoa @raelyn-dreams @troythecatfish @theropoda @tamarrud @4ft10tvlandfangirl @queerstudiesnatural @northgazaupdates2 @skatezophrenic @awetistic-things @camgirlpanopticon @baby-girl-aaron-dessner @nabulsi @sygutka @junglejim4322 @heritageposts @chososhairbuns @palistani @dlxxv-vetted-donations @illuminated-runas @imjustheretotrytohelp

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Being a henchman suuuucks dude. This latest guy I'm working for, the War-Madillo, he's got a, an Armadillo- motif, or theme, or whatever, right? That's fine, fine, I did a two-month stint with a Marmoset-themed guy once, it's not bottom of the barrel- except. Except. It turns out, he picked the Armadillo thing because he thinks that they're obligate carnivores. Which they kind of are, I mean I googled this, they're insectivores, but he thinks that they're like, land piranhas. He thinks they work in packs to take down significantly larger animals. He thinks they lay eggs in the remains of their prey. He's killed like three guys for trying to correct him. Me and the other guys are paying out of pocket to get the poor little guys in his Armadillo pit food that they can actually eat. Every time he drops some sucker into that thing we all have to draw straws to see who's gonna have to go in and gnaw on the body so he thinks the Armadillos are doing it. Thank god it's such a long drop

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Fuck it. Flavortown miku.

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“i must be faking this for attention” thinks the girl who isn’t even telling anyone about it

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@raymusterio

Once upon a time there was a small desert village with a single well outside town. One day a young woman went to the well to fetch water, and the well heard her crying, and asked “What’s wrong?”

She stopped her sobbing and asked the well “You can talk?”

“Yes,” said the well. “Long ago, the witch who lives in this town gave me life so I could serve as a guardian to the townspeople.”

“Alas,” said the young woman. “I am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the townsfolk for many years. But the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the people up against her, and they burned her at the stake. I am young and still do not know very much magic. I tried to curse them, but my curses fizzled. Now I worry I will never avenge my mother’s death.”

“Do not be afraid,” said the well. “I will take care of this.”

The next morning, when the Mayor came to fetch water from the well, he heard an odd noise coming from the bottom. He peered over as far as he could to see what was happening. Then an impossibly long arm shot up from the bottom of the well, grabbed the mayor, and pulled him into the well shaft. There was a horrible crunching sound, and nobody ever saw the Mayor again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter, and they all lived happily ever after.

Moral of the story: living well is the best revenge

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I want one of those scenes in a dude bro film where “tomboy” chick has to wear a dress to go undercover or whatever, but instead of the guys drooling as she walks down the stairs, they’re like “k. U need to stop. Go put the cargo pants back on. You look super uncomfortable and awkward in that. Brutus, you go be the fake prostitute.”

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"Trans women are actually women for real, not in a metaphorical sense, not in a "anyone can be anything" sense, but genuinely actually make more taxonomic sense to classify in the category of women than any other group" is a position you'll find is pretty radical even in queer spaces

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