#its so clear to tell when it’s just bias

[zappedbyzabka]

[snapscube]

Hey I was just wondering, due to the reaction you had with Stray yesterday, and wanted to ask if you had issues with the game.

I'm not asking so I could judge it due to bias, I just want to hear your thoughts on what you dislike

ok so

if by “the reaction” you specifically mean the vim and vigor with which i was cackling during the switch versions reveal, that had NOTHING to do with the game itself and instead was my reaction to the graphical compromises apparently required to get that game running. as someone who played through all of stray, that game is absolutely beautiful from a visual perspective and the switch version is DECIDEDLY scuffed in a way that i found hilarious.

HOWEVER, if you’re instead referring to the comment at the beginning where i kinda jokingly did the “That fucking bird that i hate” reference but replaced “bird” with “game” and “hate” with “Enjoyed Well Enough”, yes that does genuinely reflect a sort of running gag with my overall opinions on Stray. i streamed the game in its entirety when it released and there is a LOT to love about it, but personally i left the game feeling somewhat underwhelmed by its writing and the way it elected to communicate the story. the first thing that appeals to almost anyone about the game is the promise of seeing this sci if dystopia through the eyes of a cat, with all of the mischief and personal distance that implies. and Stray absolutely does have NOTES of this throughout the game. there are so many little interactions and animations that capture the essence of a cat so flawlessly and it’s commendable. but as the story goes on i personally felt like the game started to make more and more concessions away from this concept in order to fit in a relatively traditional adventure game narrative. it all ended up feeling somewhat well-tread. to this day the things i remember about the game are its stunning art direction, sound design, and the clear care that went into capturing and replicating cat-like behavior. i could not tell you a single detail of the story or the characters off the top of my head save for a few vague generalizations of its themes.

so, in short: i liked stray! i think its a really good game and its fantastically put together. i just was not nearly as crazy about it as some other folks were. so the running gag is that i hate stray and i think its the worst game of all time.

[serana666]

Getting on my soapbox about something I think is REALLY important for chronically ill ppl to think about.

Being undiagnosed and disabled is a terrible experience. You’re screaming into the medical void for ANYONE to please SEE YOU and help. You start thinking “is it just me? Could it just be in my head? What’s wrong with ME?”

And I’m here to tell you, it’s 👏🏻NOT YOU👏🏻 it’s THEM. (The doctors)

I have been through the grueling process of becoming totally disabled by chronic illness, without knowing what it could be. I picked up diagnosis’ along the way: RA, then lupus, then fibro. And I am LUCKY that my blood worked with me to show those things, not everyone is so lucky.

I kept thinking (foolishly buying into the narrative doctors try and sell you) that if I could just get a *serious* diagnosis I would finally be given access to the care I needed, that ALL disabled people need. That was never the case at any step in the process.

When I was diagnosed with RA and began having symptoms outside of it, that were completely debilitating my rheumatologist told me I just needed more exercise and activity. I told them specifically I had fatigue so strong that I was loosing the ability for basic functioning.

When I found a new rheumatologist and was diagnosed with lupus I thought my troubles were over. Then she started saying weird shit like “do you have a boyfriend? You’re so pretty!”

She found out I was a lesbian when I brought my girlfriend to my appointment to be my advocate. Her whole demeanor changed to me and I spent 6-8 months with her receiving no treatment. They kept saying “oh it’s the insurance” nope they sent me letters telling me this office was not following up.

So I moved to a blue state literally out of fear that I would die waiting on these bigoted doctors. I got a rhum in a blue state. I was diagnosed with secondary fibro. Again, I foolishly believed I would finally be in the clear. No, she still minimizes and blinks at me when I describe my pain.

Doctors are not our allies, even though they should be above all else. They find ANY excuse to minimize us. So if you are someone who is undiagnosed or with a diagnosis that is misunderstood/not taken seriously , they will milk that for all it’s worth. 👏🏻ITS NOT YOU👏🏻

I’ve seen people in disabled communities minimized for their race, their weight, their gender, their sexuality/queerness, their age, their diagnosis or the lack thereof, ITS NOT YOU!

You know your body, and the pain you feel BETTER than any doctor that has been trained to systemically ignore you!

Don’t let them tell you what your reality is. It’s such a knee jerk reaction for minorities to do this to themselves.

You deserve medical care that isn’t contingent on your doctors bias’. We NEED more empathy. Don’t let their disregard for your life leak into the love you NEED to give yourself. 💕

[mayashesfly]

An interesting part of Stayed Gone and Hell's Greatest Dad is how these two duets visualize the different dynamics Alastor has between his two "rivals"

In this analysis I'm mostly going to focus on RadioStatic since they're the ones I'm brainrotting over, though there are a few things I've noticed about HGD that I wanted to point out in this post.

So if you're looking for a more RadioApple focused analysis, I'm afraid this isn't it due to my inherent bias. If you have any thoughts about Alastor, Lucifer, and their dynamic or anything in general about this post feel free to share your own thoughts and ideas! ^w^

First let's get to the starting portions of the song when Alastor is in the picture.

In Stayed Gone, we're first presented with the background of Vox's store front having an empty neighbor by its side. Until Alastor enters the picture.

Visually this already tells us that there's always been an empty spot by Vox's side that Alastor fills.

Interestingly enough, we also see them being visualized as cleanly slotting together in the song even if there's a definite line between the two of them that keeps them separated. (Which is also present with how their store fronts are also separated by a wall)

Meanwhile, in Hell's Greatest Dad, we're shown that Lucifer and Alastor starts off in the song by being physically beside each other.

Which Lucifer swiftly leaves behind to have his solo portions.

In Stayed Gone, when Alastor first entered the picture, Vox tried to push Alastor out. But kept failing as Alastor continues to keep himself in the picture.

Interestingly enough, regardless of how much Vox pushes and how much Alastor keeps himself in the picture, they're always shown together visually even when they're singing by themselves.

And the moments when they're are on the screen alone instead of together is shown to be very brief before Alastor enters the picture yet again.

Contrasting that to Hell's Greatest Dad, they spend alot of their singing portions being solo and alone on the screen. Making a point to push the other away before making their point with Charlie.

They don't really stay in the same screen together and beside each other for long.

If Stayed Gone started with Vox trying to push Alastor away before begrudgingly letting him stay on the screen with him.

Then in Hell's Greatest Dad, they started off as staying and singing their parts separately away from each other as much as possible.

Before they stayed with each other for a longer period of time and making them have their more heated instrument duet and the arguing at the end.

You could argue that the two songs are an inverse of each other in a weird sense.

Another thing I've noticed is how Vox and Lucifer were presented differently when it comes to being "below" Alastor.

For Vox, there's a very clear line that makes this sense of being below Alastor very apparent.

Meanwhile Alastor's attempt at making Lucifer seem below him isn't as apparent and clear cut as Vox's

(I find it so fucking funny and hilarious how Alastor gave Lucifer a thumbs down. He didn't even pull anything like I thought he did at first!)

That's all the things I can compare and contrast between Stayed Gone and Hell's Greatest Dad for now.

I have more thoughts about how Alastor and Vox's relationship is presented, but they're not as closely tied/limited to these two songs so I'll talk about that in another post :P

This post isn't meant to say that either RadioStatic or RadioApple is better than the other as that's not my intention at all with this post. I just wanted to give my personal observations about these two songs and their differences and similarities.

So if I accidently offended anyone, I sincerely apologize.

Since I'm a RadioStatic fan, I naturally talk about them more in a positive light, though I did try to keep my observations about RadioApple as neutral as possible since I'm not as confident with my observations about them.

I hope this was a good read regardless!

[explodingchantry]

Anders isn't my problematic fave because he isn't problematic. I think the wider concept of anders being 'wrong' the fandom has is a clear example of how biased the writing has been in the games. It's the same reason why people hate Jowan, or why they think the kinloch hold mages were stupid. There's a clear bias in the writing and framing of it all that guides the player towards feeling negatively.

The majority of answers you can give Jowan in Dao are negative, mocking, or downright insulting. The ones who aren't are just... Neutral. You can be a bit sympathetic to him in the circle origin but by the time you meed him in redcliff most of your dialogue choices are so fucking mean. In my replay I was trying desperately to be nice and sympathetic to him but the best you can do is be neutral and let him go but for every rude dialogue option there is no "you've been through something horrible, I'm sorry" or "you were manipulated, loghain took advantage of your vulnerability, I'm sorry" it's soooooo.

Likewise, I always make sure to speak to every single npc in the mage origins and the One mention of uldred before the broken circle quest is from the one mage who tells you about the different political faction enchanters are in, and it's with absolute disdain. That mage thinks uldred is annoying and it's implied that the other enchanters think so, too. Uldred who was an activist for mage liberation is treated as annoying for being an activist.

Then he turns out to be a blood mage and to have killed the majority of the circle, turning them into abominations. The message is clear: those who seek liberation are wicked. In the first game of the series, thus in the game which introduced the concept of circles at all, their existence is justified by the text. It overtly says: look at all those foolish mages, how dangerous they can be when One of them is wicked. Can you imagine if they were free? Can you imagine those abominations' destruction if they were out in the open?

Something similar happens in the mage origin, with Jowan. Through the whole origin, whilst Jowan is painted as annoying, he's definitely seen as a victim. Up until he uses blood magic, that is. Suddenly, the player is likely supposed to think "oh, so they were right to want to make him tranquil after all". Instead of being a way to show that the circle will often turn innocent mages tranquil, it shows you that greagoir was right to distrust Jowan, because he was indeed a blood mage. Instead of showing you how paranoid those in power are about mages, the writing justifies their fear and hatred.

Bear in mind this is the first game and likely the very first thing that happens to a lot of new players. The game does not expect you to know the intricacies of its lore yet, doesn't expect you to understand that blood magic is actually fucking neutral unless you sacrifice people for it. You might be tempted to argue that it's setting up for that realisation later and for you to feel bad about Jowan later, realizing he was led to blood magic because it was his only solution, because he and all other mages are caged like dogs (except this is ferelden, so the dogs are better treated than them). But then you've got the redcliff fiasco where it's obvious the writers expect you to fucking hate his guts

And while dragon age 2 is more overt in its depiction of mage suffering, it also tries to pass on the idea that kirkwall is a special case, that it's only the gallows that are this bad. That it's just Meredith whose craaazeyyy 🤪 and not just Meredith being a product of a corrupt system. The writers expect you to think of Anders as an unstable extremist, or as his writer puts it, a "bipolar terrorist" (note that ofc there's nothing fucking wrong with being bipolar, but I don't think his writer cares!)

With different writers and the exact same set of events, Anders blowing up the chantry would be easily recognized as a positive, as an act of justice, of rightful rebellion. Instead it's seen as a tragedy, a mistake. Instead Anders is categorized as a villain, morally grey even though Hawke themselves has a higher death toll than he ever will.

It's a lesson, I think. In narrative bias.

[dootznbootz]

Odysseus was afraid the entire year on Aeaea in the Odyssey.

Content warnings: Rape, Sexual Coercion, Sexual assault, Sex Work, power dynamics, this will also be long as fuck as I talk too much. This is NOT a "Circe the Goddess Hate Post". I call her out but that's it. I tried to keep this neutral but still making a point (Let me know if I gotta put more)

Lots of lovely folks on here have written great essays on what Calypso did to Odysseus as it's soooo blatantly obvious there. It literally states how he cried every day and how he flinched from Calypso, very straightforward on how he was explicitly raped.

But I've noticed that a lot of people are always iffy about Circe's situation (understandably so, it's not so in your face.) She's usually always mentioned in the "Odysseus never cheated! He was raped!" posts but then the evidence is only ever given against Calypso, and then mentioning how you can't say no or disobey the orders of an immortal and how it was in exchange for freeing his men.

WHICH IS ALL CORRECT!!! But!!!

There ARE immortal/mortal couples who genuinely love each other. Dionysus and Ariadne, and Eros and Psyche are examples. Apollo and Hyacinthus. Psyche indeed becomes immortal eventually and in some versions, both Hyacinthus and Ariadne do too. But even while mortal themselves, their immortal lovers still remained respectful and loving towards them and definitely doted on them. There are definitely power dynamics at play here but there's some nuance.

Odysseus and Circe's relationship, however, is very different. We all know he slept with her at the very least once. And that was in exchange for his men being returned to humans. That was the only time it was explicitly stated. With Calypso, it tells you every night he was enchanted and slept beside her. It was the narrator speaking but Odysseus is the narrator now and it's his story. If you think he lied, this probably won't change your mind anyway.

But even if it was a one-time thing, (which isn't the only interpretation and I will have points that talk about others) then why did he stay a year? What was he doing?

I'm doing a deep dive into the year he spent on Aeaea based on evidence in Book 10 and then the beginning of Book 12. Step by step, and honestly I'm writing this for Tumblr, not as a thesis so I will be a bit more casual but still using sources. To me, it's very obvious that he was uncomfortable throughout the text simply based on the language that is used. But it's very subtle and not an outright statement of "He's been crying every day."

BTW, just so we're clear, this is not a "Circe is the root of all evil, etc." type of post.

This isn't meant to villainize her. She's an immortal being and in mythology that changes things. Everybody is morally gray. I genuinely think if we were to ask her feelings on it, she'd probably be like "Oh, yeah! Turned his men into pigs! Strange little man he was." I don't think she gave a flying fuck.

I just simply get pissed tf off when people think Odysseus was fine. It honestly disturbs me how often I'll go on other websites YouTube and see everyone call him a whore and a womanizer. It's sexism at its finest because 1.) "MaN AlwAyS wAnTs sEx" and 2.) women can't rape/coerce. THIS IS SIMPLY TO LOOK INTO HIS FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

This is also only for Homer's Odyssey, using different translations. If you want to discuss this, (I'd be happy to! Just be nice!) DON'T BRING UP ANY OTHER WORKS.

With all that out of the way, come yell with me 🤗

I've read multiple translations, as I know there's going to be bias depending on who's translating. And having done so, each one has basically the same situations described the same so that's nice for consistency. Also, there are some parts in the story that are vague and that we'll never have answers to.

Odysseus first simply sees the smoke from her chimney and then sends his men in, after drawing lots Eurylochus leads half of the men to check out the house. I mentioned here vaguely how the 2 immortals he sleeps with are both introduced while singing and weaving, which could be seen as an enchantment (which to me is most likely. They both possess magic and are goddesses). So I'm just gonna move past that. Just take a peek and come back or just know that enchantment was likely.

Next, I'll see people often joke on Tumblr about how

"Odysseus says that Polites is his best friend yet only mentions him once!"

I think Odysseus mentions his best friend, the one to jubilantly go in first, to show WHY he would go through with this. How much these comrades mean to him. That's his best friend, and there are approximately 20 others who are now pigs as well. Could you knowingly leave one of your best friends to live a life like that knowing you could've done something?

[...]Circe—and deep inside they heard her singing, lifting her spellbinding voice as she glided back and forth at her great immortal loom, her enchanting web a shimmering glory only goddesses can weave. Polites, captain of armies, took command, the closest, most devoted man I had: ‘Friends, there’s someone inside, plying a great loom, and how she sings—enthralling! The whole house is echoing to her song. Goddess or woman—let’s call out to her now!’ So he urged and the men called out and hailed her. She opened her gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting them all in, and in they went, all innocence.

(Fagles, Book 10)

In the Odyssey, it's never mentioned why she turns people into animals. I think they were turned into pigs because, throughout the Iliad and Odyssey, Odysseus is often associated with boars. His men are associated with him, therefore: 🐖 Piggy. From what we know, the lads were just eating her food. With how much Xenia and hospitality are a large part of the story, they probably thought they were safe. They were GUESTS. This is especially welcome after the Cyclops and the Laestrygonians. And it literally says "All innocence". They were simply naive.

Then Eurylochus runs back, so terrified that he couldn't speak at first. He then begs Odysseus to just leave the men behind. Odysseus has shown that he does TRY to save his men when it is truly not reckless to do so.

But I shot back, ‘Eurylochus, stay right here, eating, drinking, safe by the black ship. I must be off. Necessity drives me on.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Then the famous warning from Hermes. I've seen folks bring this up when talking about this. YES, he is literally commanded by Hermes to not refuse her if he wants his men back in basically every translation. It sounds like Circe was warned as well. When? We don't know, but it sounds like Hermes didn't pick "sides" here.

Strange that he was still like, "Sleep with each other" to both, because he could've been like, "Circe, there's this guy named Odysseus. When he comes to this island, change his men back." But who knows, maybe it was Circe's idea from the beginning and Hermes went along with it. Just food for thought.

Now here’s your plan of action, step by step. The moment Circe strikes with her long thin wand, you draw your sharp sword sheathed at your hip and rush her fast as if to run her through! She’ll cower in fear and coax you to her bed— but don’t refuse the goddess’ bed, not then, not if she’s to release your friends and treat you well yourself. But have her swear the binding oath of the blessed gods she’ll never plot some new intrigue to harm you, once you lie there naked— never unman you, strip away your courage!’

(Fagles, Book 10)

But that doesn't explain why he was there for a year afterward! Nor if he himself was okay with it, which is what I'm trying to delve into as he wasn't.

Also the knife thing? She's still immortal. It was meant to startle her. Her dad is Helios. Odysseus would've been toast, literally.

Also note this exchange wasn't a "Yippee! Hermes says I'm going to get laid!".

...just approaching the halls of Circe, my heart a heaving storm at every step, paused at her doors, the nymph with lovely braids— I stood and shouted to her there. She heard my voice, she opened the gleaming doors at once and stepped forth, inviting me in, and in I went, all anguish now …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Another translation by Ian Johnston, (they all say the same thing essentially but trying to make a point.)

I continued on to Circe’s home. As I moved on, my heart was turning over many gloomy thoughts. After I had walked up to the gateway                                                of fair-haired Circe’s house, I just stood there and gave a shout. The goddess heard my voice.                      She came out at once, opened her bright doors, and invited me inside. I entered, heart full of misgivings.

HE👏WAS👏SCARED! The tone is solemn and suspenseful. He was just told that without Hermes' help with the root, he wouldn't be able to survive and bring back his men. Circe was dangerous.

He made her swear not to harm him.

Straightaway she began to swear the oath that I required—never, she’d never do me harm—and when she’d finished, then, at last, I mounted Circe’s gorgeous bed …

(Fagles, Book 10)

Please note that she NEVER promised that to his men. His comrades did NOT have moli in their systems. He had no way of truly ensuring their safety in any way from Circe.

He then refuses to eat or speak, literally "lost in grim forebodings". If he "just got laid", then why isn't he happy? Not many men can say that a goddess CHOSE to have sex with them. He did it to get his men turned back. It was an exchange. I don't think Circe is "Evil" so maybe it slipped her mind. Or yes, she could've thought, "Hey, I got what I wanted. He's handsome enough. Homer never shuts up about how hot this guy is He hasn't brought up the pigs yet. I'll just let this play out. Maybe HE forgot. I don't have to do anything." We don't know. But Odysseus probably felt like he got deceived.

"Hey, I did my part of the deal. I slept with you. Now do yours."

She pressed me to eat. I had no taste for food. I just sat there, mind wandering, far away … lost in grim forebodings. As soon as Circe saw me, huddled, not touching my food, immersed in sorrow, she sidled near with a coaxing, winged word: ‘Odysseus, why just sit there, struck dumb, eating your heart out, not touching food or drink? Suspect me of still more treachery? Nothing to fear. Haven’t I just sworn my solemn, binding oath?’

So she asked, but I protested, ‘Circe— how could any man in his right mind endure the taste of food and drink before he’d freed his comrades-in-arms and looked them in the eyes? If you, you really want me to eat and drink, set them free, all my beloved comrades— let me feast my eyes.’ So I demanded.

(Fagles, Book 10)

He doesn't trust her despite what she had told him that he should when they sleep together. He has figured out that while she will not hurt him, his men were not a part of that oath, the men he was trying to protect in the first place.

She is then moved by how they rejoice when they see one another again. While turning people into animals for funsies isn't cool and coercion is fucked up, I think she comes to see this group as not quite friends but I think she did find them entertaining in a way.

This is very strange but I've seen some folks say that since Odysseus was pissed at Eurylochus for still not believing him about Circe is proof that "Oh he was trying to defend her!". Which??? Uh, Eurylochus was literally questioning his leadership as a whole. Calling him reckless and shit. He is captain and he's the King, he can't let that shit slide. The text literally says "Mutinous". Also if I had to sleep with someone I did not want to especially if it was to save my friends and I got called names afterward I'd get fucking pissed too.

Only Eurylochus tried to hold my shipmates back, his mutinous outburst aimed at one and all: ‘Poor fools, where are we running now? Why are we tempting fate?— why stumble blindly down to Circe’s halls? She’ll turn us all into pigs or wolves or lions made to guard that palace of hers—by force, I tell you— just as the Cyclops trapped our comrades in his lair with hotheaded Odysseus right beside them all— thanks to this man’s rashness they died too!

They stay a year. Again it's never stated that Odysseus slept with her that whole time. You could interpret that. (Honestly, I feel Circe would get bored with him? She's a goddess, she's got more important matters than mortal men. And she definitely doesn't love him.)

His men DO have to bring it up that "Odysseus has forgotten his native land." Maybe they thought they could sneak out without her knowing??? I am fucking REACHING but hold on as Telemachus did because he knew Nestor would well, be Nestor and try to coax him with "Have a meal with us! Let me tell you about how badass I used to be in my youth." But to sneak away from a goddess? Without her permission? That won't end too well. Aeolus in the beginning kicked out Odysseus when he tried to ask for another bag of wind. If she didn't want him around, she could literally boot him out. While she didn't force him to stay like Calypso did, she didn't "release" him either.

We don't know if they've been asking for a long time. Odysseus does say to Circe that they have been begging him nonstop, but he could also be saying that to try and convince her. He's good at persuasion. I think while he knew he could rely on her for food, shelter, and good advice, he still didn't feel...SAFE with her. I think he was possibly avoiding her personally.

I think HOW he asks her to leave is important to know as well.

...but I went up to that luxurious bed of Circe’s, hugged her by the knees and the goddess heard my winging supplication: ‘Circe, now make good a promise you gave me once— it’s time to help me home. My heart longs to be home, my comrades’ hearts as well. They wear me down, pleading with me whenever you’re away.’

(Fagles, Book 10)

Throughout all of Homer's works, the characters grasp another's knees when they are desperate and are literally at the other person's mercy. Priam did when begging Achilles for Hector's body back. The man who literally killed his son and was defiling his body by dragging it around. Leodes grabs Odysseus' knees to beg for his life before Ody kills him. If he saw her as a friend, and not a captor, WHY DID HE FEEL THE NEED TO BEG IN ORDER TO LEAVE?! No one, who is in a healthy relationship, has to BEG for permission to leave. Or to "Break up", if you interpret them as still sleeping together.

And even Circe acknowledges that he is there against his will!

‘Royal son of Laertes, Odysseus, old campaigner, stay on no more in my house against your will.

(Fagles, Book 10)

[...]Odysseus, man of many resources, scion of Zeus, son of Laertes, don’t stay here a moment longer against your will

(A.S. Kline, Book 10)

This is probably another reach that you can ignore but the whole "they wear me down", could be trying to appease her. "Look, you're REALLY cool, it's actually my crew that wants to leave hahahah please don't kill them"

I mentioned before how Telemachus snuck away from Nestor but that was simply out of necessity because he needed to go home now. Not rest for the night. NOW. Nestor is just everyone's grandpa. Menelaus kind of talked more but Telemachus is very straight up in "Please I have to go now" and Menelaus immediately got things ready for him. He never has to beg and clasp his knees. Telemachus was never afraid. Menelaus is a fun uncle and Helen is your cool auntie.

Back to Circe! She tells him instructions for the underworld, they were in her bedroom. But that might've been the only way to speak with her. As even Penelope is usually away from the suitors when they are in her halls, Circe may have done the same. The text never states she played hostess physically. If she was hosting in the halls during the day, why did Odysseus wait until night to talk to her? He could've just asked her while she was on her throne in front of everyone. (He did so with the Phaeacians)

Or maybe he went alone because she only swore an oath to not harm him and so he didn't want his men near if she decided she didn't want to let them go. I could be missing something here so feel free to say something. Idk if this was a pride thing on how "I don't want others to see me beg".

She has info he needs in order to go home as well. She tells him to go to the Underworld.

She gave him new fine clothes and put on pretty clothes herself but that doesn't mean they had sex. Nausicaa gave him nice clothes as well but he never slept with her.

Then he leaves. Immediately. Not even doing a headcount as he didn't realize one of his men had died. (That was negligence on his part but he wanted out) He booked it, to the UNDERWORLD BY THE WAY. Circe even had to sneak the animals he needed for the sacrifice. Odysseus even basically said "She's a goddess. She can do things mortals can't" at the end of the book. And it almost feels...Numb? Solemn? Neutral? Gives a "It is what it is" vibe.

But Circe got to the dark hull before us, tethered a ram and black ewe close by— slipping past unseen. Who can glimpse a god who wants to be invisible gliding here and there?

(Fagles, Book 10)

She’d slipped past us with ease, for who can see a god move back and forth, if she has no desire to be observed?

(Johnston, Book 10)

She's a goddess. She has magic. She can do whatever the fuck she wants.

NOW ON TO BOOK 12!!! That was long! GET A SNACK AND WATER! LUCKILY THIS'LL BE SHORTER!

In Book 11, Odysseus swears, upon all his loved ones in Ithaca, to Elpenor that he'd give him a proper burial as he's been "unwept, unburied". So in Book 12, he sails back to Aeaea to fulfill his promise.

But you know what's funny to me?

He didn't tell Circe he was there.

He didn't even go to greet Circe himself. He sent his men to go get Elpenor's body.

The biggest clue that he didn't love/trust her is that if she was his "Affair partner" then why not go see her for "one last night together"?

SHE came out herself and pulled him aside to know what happened and then gave more advice.

I dispatched some men to Circe’s halls to bring the dead Elpenor’s body. [...]

Nor did our coming back from Death escape Circe— she hurried toward us, decked in rich regalia, handmaids following close with trays of bread and meats galore and glinting ruddy wine. [...]

But Circe, taking me by the hand, drew me away from all my shipmates there and sat me down and lying beside me probed me for details

(Fagles, Book 12)

In every translation, it talks about how he sits, and she lounges/lies down. That's not sex 🙃 In some translations, it even says he tried to be with his shipmates but she pulled him away!

So we lay down and slept beside our ship’s stern cables. But Circe took me by the hand and led me away, some distance from the crew. She made me sit, while she stretched out beside me on the ground. 

(Johnston, Book 12)

Then, she gives advice about the sirens, Charybdis, Scylla, and her father's Cattle. He tries to ask if he could save all his men. She scolds him for even thinking he could try. He again books it out of there.

I think we all know it wasn't "love". But I think a lot of people think Odysseus was willing and happy with whatever this was. "Friends with Benefits", if you will. I guess you could see it that way but I will say that makes me feel itchy with the whole power dynamic and fear. I don't think folks who have that arrangement have to beg on their knees to ask if they can leave though.

I mean the entirety of Book 10 gives me the vibes of "Laughing uncomfortably because you don't want to upset the other person". To just grin and bear it.

A lot of this was just putting the text here and picking it apart step by step. What you do with this is up to you. It's rambling while banging pots and pans together.

Maybe you see him as drugged the entire year and still sleeping together, as the moli "wore off". Even then, just because her magic can't affect him, there are plenty of natural concoctions that can be created that can affect mortals.

Maybe you see the entire year as sex work in exchange for shelter and food.

Maybe he was just alongside his men the whole time under her roof and was avoiding her after the exchange. After he got asked by his men to finally leave, he would start to walk up to that room only to freeze and turn around, thinking "One more day won't hurt. Should wait until I know she's in a sympathetic mood".

I beg of you, however, PLEASE understand that there was fear and coercion throughout his entirety on Aeaea. He wasn't staying to get laid. While there is so much going on and too many things that are left vague to really know exactly what happened, it is consistent that he was scared/numb. Lots of people go through with things they don't really want to do just to appease others. There are plenty of situations of sexual trauma where one person goes through something and the other has no idea the other person isn't okay. ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEONE CAN HARM THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT AT ANY MOMENT!

Sexual trauma is a very complicated thing and while he was scared, he definitely wasn't as traumatized by her as he was by Calypso. Calypso was a torturous hell while Circe was a year of walking on eggshells. Not comparable but I still think it should be acknowledged. It's wild because I read the Odyssey and kept thinking "Y'all are calling the sex slave a cheater? The guy who slept with a goddess to get his men back? The ultimate simp apparently doesn't love his wife??"

Things I'm adding that shouldn't affect the argument as it is not in the Odyssey but I want to mention as it's a "fun fact": Odysseus' dad was an Argonaut. Laertes probably met Circe as well, (or knew of her) with the whole purifying thing and maybe Odysseus heard his dad tell stories of her. Later myths also have Circe with the habit of turning her crushes (or their lovers) into something with Scylla and Picus.

In conclusion, Yeah, he was afraid of her. At least to an extent. And don't pull the whole "Ancient men didn't get raped". Male victims exist and deserve compassion for what was done to them and women are capable of sexual abuse. If you think otherwise, you are not a true feminist and Fuck you. I said in the beginning this'll be casual and I don't wanna write a fancy ending. You can still think Circe is neat but you have to know that this was fucked up.

If you think a lot of this is bullshit or wanna give more context or wish to yell with me but still know he wasn't alright on Aeaea, cool. If you want to point out mistakes or something I should keep in mind with interpretations then feel free to say so but give text evidence. If you try and bring up the Telegony and/or Madeline Miller's Circe, fuck clean off. This is Homer. If you call Odysseus a whore and not the malewife he canonically is I'll start biting. 😤

[distressedjellyfish]

Things I think about with frequency

Amy March

How we deserved to see Amy and Laurie's wedding, and them falling in love, and just more of them

How Amy March is hated by many because LMA based the characters off her own sisters, and Amy was obviously written with some bias (as were all the sisters), which shines through and makes us feel similarly about Amy that "Jo" felt about her younger sister.

That line where Amy says "I've been second to Jo my whole life" hits A LOT harder when you realize that Louisa's (Jo) middle name is May, and her younger sister, who she based Amy off, is named May, after LMA's middle name.

I think that people see Amy as this vapid little bitch because she always knew she wanted to be a wife, and she knew she wanted to be rich. But what people fail to consider is that a lot of the time the youngest is the one that sees all the flaws in their family’s lives and feels responsible for taking care of them, even if its not expressly stated. Jo was a wild card. She was free to do as she wanted and nothing could stop her and God love Marmee for never trying. Meg was docile and almost polar opposite of Jo, and as the eldest sister she felt the same burden but lessened because yes she had typical Eldest Sister Syndrome where she had the need to take care of the family, but she also was the first, and therefore had no pre-set markers and expectations that she needed to meet or surpass. She wanted to marry and all that, but it didn't super matter about finances to her. Beth was unable to do "better" than her sisters "mistakes" flat out. And its not through any fault of her own, its just the way it was.

Speaking from experience, its always been clear to me that as the youngest of 3, I would have to do better. My half brother got a girl pregnant on his gap year when he was 18, so I was never allowed to take one, even though it would have probably helped in the long run. My half sister has always been mean to my parents, and won't let my dad see his only biological grandkid, which rips my dad apart, so of course I feel the pressure to have a child to give my dad a bio grandkid to dote on like he does with his non-bio grandkids, even though he's never outwardly expressed to anyone ever that he feels any disconnect from my niece because they aren't related, or that he wants me to have kids for any reason other than he wants them.

Anyways, my point is that Amy felt that pressure from a young age, hence always saying this or that about marrying rich. Add onto that when Aunt March tells her she's her family’s only hope of not being in the lower class/lower middle class for the rest of their lives. And just because that's the only time we see it, but that doesn't mean that there weren't other similar conversations had. Do you really think Aunt March never made her snide comments about the family and their status in front of Amy?

Amy's entire character revolves around this point, she's focused on being a proper lady, being delicate and pretty, in hopes of one day being able to bag someone rich, for her family.

Obviously, she falls into infatuation with Laurie when she meets him at the ripe age of 12??? She idolizes Jo, and Laurie is basically just the boy version (with some exceptions). He's also rich, young, handsome, and charming, and adores the family for who they are, including all their flaws. He's exactly what Amy had been saying she would marry, with the added bonus of him loving Jo the way she is, the exact opposite of Amy, proving that there are rich lovely men out there who will love you even if you aren't perfect, even if you falter. He's proof she can have the life she knows she needs to have for her family, and also still enjoy it and not be stressed all the time about being perfect.

Of course Laurie loves Jo first, for very similar reasons that Amy is infatuated with him. At 15, his whole life has been spent at dinner parties with girls the exact opposite of Jo, all proper and lovely and so so similar to one another, being told he'll marry one of them, everyone expecting him to be polished and well spoken and everything that no 15 year old boy wants to be. So then in comes this whirlwind girl who is completely different, a breath of fresh air that never wants to marry and can't ballroom dance for shit and laughs too loud, and shows him that life can be the Something Different he so desperately craves.

And of course, he ends up with Amy. He was Jo's best friend, so for 6 years all he knew of her was the way she was presented through Jo's eyes. A bratty little girl, who was the same as the other vapid girls he knew, that wasn't worth a thought. And he never paid her any mind because he spent 6 years thinking Jo loved him back, so why would he think of other girls? Then, at 21, he is essentially dumped by the love of his life, and travels abroad to find who he is without her. He meets Amy again, the girl who was always happy to see him. Of course he's going to spend time with her, she's familiar enough to feel like home, but different enough from Jo that it doesn't hurt. And there's the added validation of her liking him, which sometimes you need after your heart has been ripped apart. Plus, she's the only one he really knows in Paris. So they spend time together, and in that time he learns that she's not at all the way he's seen her over the last 6 years. Where he always saw someone not very bright, with a dim personality, that didn't stand up for anything or really rock the boat unless seriously provoked, who would do anything for him, he now finds a strong, funny, kind, beautiful girl, who is very intelligent and has a deep understanding of how cruel the world is (maybe ((definitely)) moreso than her sister) and knows how to manipulate said world in such a way that she can come out close to on top, who cares about her family enough to put everything else aside in order to become the person they need her to be in order to support them, who would still do anything for him but will absolutely call him on his shit and put him in his place when necessary. And how could he not love that?

She's not all that much like Jo, sure, but she is so much more. And she deserves so much more than people calling her his second choice.

Also I think that its criminal that most people don't see that obviously Jo loved her family but she loved herself more. Her sense of duty was to herself, and finding the place that would make her happy. She was also kind of a brat? Things didn't go her way? Editor is a dick? Boy critisizes her writing? Tantrum.

Whereas Amy loved her family more than herself. She was willing to put aside her dreams in order to support her family, and growing up was very rarely bitter about it. She decided, on her own, that her family was her number one priority, and that regardless of the fact that she could be happier doing other things, she wanted to do what she could to provide for her family. She knew how the world treated women, and she learned how to take that, and general criticism, on the chin.

Personally, I think that Amy is a way better character, and I'll die on this hill

Amy March

[booksandabeer]

Stucky, Fandom Longevity, and "Primacy Bias"

There’s this post that's been floating around the past few days about how the Stucky fandom in its heyday produced fic and art masterpieces like they were all collectively possessed by an unprecedented spirit of creative insanity. It’s a good, fun post and I agree with the person who wrote it. (not rb'ing because I didn't want to hijack their post with something that's only tangentially related).

It was indeed a magical time and the creative output in both quantity and quality in the two-year period following the release of CA:TWS is—with perhaps a few exceptions—unmatched by anything that I’ve seen before and since. However, going through the notes on that post, I noticed something that left me a little irritated and quite frankly sad since it is in congruence with, and to a certain extent the confirmation of something that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

For one thing, there are so many people in the notes expressing sentiments along the lines of “it was such a wonderful time; I wish I could go back; I miss these fics; I want to read these fics again,” etc., etc., you get it. And it feels a little silly pointing this out, but…you can just do that? Almost all of these fics are still right there, waiting for you to be (re)read. Yes, a lot of people left the fandom after The Great Devastation of 2019, but their stories didn’t just disappear. It's not like there is now a big, black hole where the Steve/Bucky tag used to be on AO3. So, if you miss these fics and you want to revisit them—just do it. Chances are the authors will be delighted that people are still finding and enjoying their stories all these years later. And—since apparently this needs saying, too, judging from the notes on that post: A lot of people seem to be very concerned with losing ‘coolness points’ for openly admitting that they still miss the ship and often feel tempted to dip their toes back into the Stucky pool. I don’t know how to tell you this, but if someone tries to shame you for simply enjoying or missing something, they are an asshole. Not to mention that all this is happening on tumble.com—'coolness' doesn't exactly live here. And that is a good thing, to be clear. Fandom is not about being cool. It’s about being as enthusiastic, as silly, as absolutely fucking unhinged about the things you love as you want to be. So, stop caring what other people think and enjoy yourself.

The other thing is that there seems to be a pretty widespread misconception that the Stucky fandom hasn’t produced any good fanworks after 2016.

First, that is patently and demonstrably untrue. There is so much incredibly good fanfiction and fanart still out there. Not as much as back in the day, sure, but it still exists. And more is being posted every day! Even some of the OG Big Names are still around. One of the most beloved Stucky series that started all the way back in 2014 was updated as recently as December of last year. The artist, who I believe the op is referring to as creating ‘baroque’ paintings, posted their latest Stucky art not even two months ago.

Second, I find this “primacy bias” more than just a little insulting to the many hardworking and incredibly talented people who are still putting their blood, sweat, and tears into creating for this community. And it’s one thing if people who have long left the fandom believe or say something like this, but it’s frankly irritating when I see people who are still very much active—and therefore definitely should know better—feed into that same false myth. Yes, it sucks that the Stucky ship isn’t as big as it used to be, but that doesn't mean there isn't any 'fresh talent' to be found anymore. I’m also not saying we shouldn’t still celebrate and recommend older works—I do it all the time! And it sure as hell doesn't mean everyone has to reblog absolutely everything all the time, either. Your blog, your rules.

But maybe we should put a little more focus on the good things, on the creators and the community we have now, especially if we want that community to still exist in another ten years. I mean, imagine you’re a person who’s just gotten into the fandom (because yes, there are indeed still new people discovering Stucky all the time) and one of the first things you’re being told is “eh, nice that you're here, but you’re about 7 years late; the big party is already over.” Does that seem like a fun space to hang out in to you?

So. Let’s all—and I do not exclude myself from this because God knows, I love to complain—spend a little less time mourning the ‘good old days’ that are never coming back anyway, and instead focus our attention on enjoying and appreciating both the incredible treasure chest of an archive we have AND the wealth of high-quality art and fic that is still being created by this wonderful community every single day. With this in mind:

🥳🎊Happy Stucky Week 2023!!! 🎊🥳

*I want to make it very clear that this is a general thing that’s been on my mind lately and that I’m trying to work through here—probably not very coherently. I'm not trying to tell anybody 'how to do fandom' and I’m most definitely not vagueposting about any particular incident, person, or group in this fandom. This isn’t a callout post. It’s an I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about this and I don’t know what else do with them post.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 428: Night of the Kouhai

Previously on BnHA: Well at least Spinner is sort of kind of doing okay??

Today on BnHA: I see the check that I sent to Horikoshi finally cleared.

okay first things first, you all know how it is right. I’ve never made a secret of my Kacchan bias on this blog. I promise you I did actually write a recap to 426 and 427 as well, but both of those chapters went HEAVY on the themes and drama and philosophical shit, and my reactions were kind of all over the place, and the Todoroki one in particular was like a million words wrong and it needs a shit ton of editing which I don’t know when I’ll have the spoons for

on the other hand however, a chapter like this which features class 2A cuteness and an absolutely unreasonable amount of Kacchan character development fanservice to hyperfixate on, takes absolutely no spoons at all and in fact actively recharges some of my spoons, so yeah. here we are

anyway so when we last left off Kacchan and Shouto were in terrible danger from a threat more terrifying than any they’ve ever encountered before. so I already knew this chapter was going to be great

“IIDA IS BIG AND STRONG AND AUTHORITATIVE, LET’S HIDE BEHIND HIM, HE WILL PROTECT US” everyone, I’m delighted to announce that the BnHA manga ending arc, despite having its ups and downs until this point, has officially been saved thanks to this panel right here. pack it up folks. this was officially a sweeping success. this panel brought Tomura back to life and teleported Touya’s mind back into his childhood self from roughly ten years ago time travel fix-it style. Horikoshi you beautiful bastard

Shouto trying to explain that he can handle them one on one but just not ALL TOGETHER IN THIS TERRIFYING SWARM LIKE THIS... buddy you don’t have to explain yourself sob. or is he trying to negotiate with them??

meanwhile Kacchan skips the negotiations entirely because he’s already assessed the situation and knows that the best way to handle this is to appeal to Iida Tenya’s boundless love of regulation and social order

y’all it’s killing me that this boy can handle being LITERALLY MURDERED by the greatest evil the world has ever known. but a group of admiring fifteen year old kouhais? no sir. that’s where he taps out

“but I thought Bakugou liked attention” yes well, you see, Shinsou, it’s kinda a “monkey’s paw curls” sort of thing

Kaminari with the BLACK SPEECH BUBBLE lmfao. FRIENDSHIP WITH KACCHAN HAS BEEN CANCELLED. NOW MIDORIYA IS MY BEST FRIEND

“well you see up until recently the ladies all thought Kacchan was a feral troll so they avoided him at all costs” wow Deku this man literally died for you and you just throw him under the bus with zero hesitation just like that

“SOURCE: ME, HIS CHILDHOOD FRIEND” just adding in his credentials in that little footnote there lest anyone question his authority on the subject

wait so is Shinsou surprised that girls used to not like Kacchan? or is he surprised that Kacchan and Deku were childhood friends? I can see how the latter might be surprising (oh Shinsou, sometimes I forget that you effectively just got here. we have so much to catch you up on. you will not BELIEVE how badly the two of these kids just want to hold hands all the time), but ngl, I’m rooting for the former just for the implications. “you’re seriously telling me a certified ten like him never had any girls interested in him?”

Horikoshi, hear me out, I know there are only two chapters left after this, and they’ve both already been written. but if you wanted to rewrite one of them at the last minute in order to add about a dozen more pages solely dedicated to Shinsou interrogating the rest of class 2A about Kacchan’s love life, out of what he insists is just innocent curiosity with no ulterior motives. well, I would not complain about that

anyway so yes Shinsou he is still single, for now. though I don’t really think it’s the girls you need to be worried about

meanwhile Mineta is all, “I just wanted to let all of you know MY opinion, which is that Bakugou isn’t morally upstanding enough for my delicate sensibilities.” yes you heard that right. Mineta of all people is weighing in on which personalities are deserving of being popular. that’s some audacity right there

A WILD DEKU FANBOY APPEARS???!

“IT GAVE ME COURAGE” omg yesssssss. jotting this down for essay material at some future point in time!! because THIS. this right here is the true “what it means to be a hero” in my opinion. a hero is someone who brings reassurance, yes. someone who makes people feel safe. but I think a hero should also be someone who makes people feel brave. someone who inspires other people to be heroic in turn. so yes, this, all of this, inject it into my veins. wtg Deku

having an official fanboy apparently broke Deku’s brain. hang in there bud. I know you’ve still got villain angst to work through, but try to enjoy this. you’re allowed to have nice things

IS MINETA STRANGLING KACCHAN BY HIS FUCKING TIE OMFG. THAT’S WHY HE NEVER USED TO WEAR THEM. also you’ve worn my patience down all the way now Mineta. get the fuck out of my blog

also Kacchan successfully beat the shit out of him with his ONE GOOD ARM so take that Mineta

also shoutout to this KiriBaku moment right here which feels like the first time we’ve had the two of them together in ages. good stuff

I’m LOVING this panel of Ochako staring at Deku all indecipherably, but ngl it’s also giving me just the slightest bit of anxiety, because does this mean we’re finally gonna get answers on what ultimately happened to Toga. it better not be sad. please don’t ruin my happy chapter with depressing things Horikoshi

“tell them no” OH MY GOD AIZAWA’S TURNING DOWN ALL THE INTERVIEW REQUESTS FOR HIS KIDS SO THEY CAN JUST BE KIDS AGAIN FOR A LITTLE WHILE nooooo what is this. “yeah but I’m prioritizing the kids who aren’t up for dishing to the media about all of their horrific trauma.” omfg. it’s been too long since my last Dadzawa feels. I wasn’t ready after all this time

you guys Izuku finally got a new hero costume that’s not in tatters after all this time. all it took was his old costume getting literally torn to shreds. and now he’s back to looking twelve years old again lol

JEANIST AND FATGUM REUNION?!?! RETURN OF KACCHAN’S THIRD DAD, AND A SECOND WACKY UNCLE TO BACK UP GOOD OLD MIC? GOD BLESS

FAT HIRED TAMAKI AS A SIDEKICK D’AWWWW

now they’re putting the kids to work. glorified janitorial duty. Deku you better not be using up any more of your embers on this sob

this motherfucker did not just liken my baby boy Kacchan to “distressed denim” omg. we have less than three chapters left and we’re spending our hard-earned time on this and I TRULY WOULD NOT CHANGE A SINGLE THING

“Kacchan on light duty” PROTECT HIM!!! don’t think I don’t see you over there too in the background, Aizawa. he’s surrounded by dads. they’re not letting him out of their sight again until he’s thirty

meanwhile he’s out here quietly sorting through trash with his one good hand without complaint and without even the barest hint of a gremlin face. with his half-and-half costume so we can’t see how fucked up his arm is. AND NO MORE MASK. we burned the mask. my thank you letters are in the mail, Horikoshi. and you too TomurAFO, this was your actual greatest contribution to society

ANOTHER DAD?!?!?!

dfjsdlfksldkfjl

“don’t worry, I’m gradually recovering” fsdfkslfkj r.i.p. my ability to take this man seriously ever again. do you think his voice is like the normal sexy Edgeshot ASMR voice except all high-pitched like a squirrel in a Disney princess movie. it is, isn’t it

he can make hands now. buddy you’re amazing. mvp of the entire fucking manga. my son literally owes you his life. please let me see you sitting Jeanist’s shoulder like a parrot before this wonderful glorious chapter ends

Kacchan’s little cheek scar is somehow both badass and adorable at the same time. I can’t stress how fucking much this chapter is just surrounding me with “protect him at all costs” feelings.

MORE SOFT KACCHAN FEELS ON THE NEXT PAGE BECAUSE HORIKOSHI WROTE THIS CHAPTER SPECIFICALLY FOR ME, THANK YOU SO MUCH

“are you... [ever] gonna go back to normal?” because if not he’s gonna cry himself to sleep every night for the rest of his life!! no big!! YOU WOULDN’T DO THAT TO HIM WOULD YOU EDGESHOT?

NO HE WOULD NOT. THANK YOU EDGESHOT. ONCE AGAIN YOU ARE A REAL ONE

...or wait. so does he mean he is indeed going to go back to normal eventually? or is it that he’s embracing this new form as an exciting new evolution, hence the “even further”? it kind of feels like the latter, ngl. especially with this weird sad little smile Kacchan gives in response... fuck me. what the hell am I gonna do when this series ends in two weeks. nobody can rip my soul to pieces as utterly and effortlessly as Horikoshi does, man

THEY MADE THE KIDS LUNCH AWWWW. though in fairness there’s something seriously messed up with Japan if any of these kids ever has to pay for another meal again for the REST OF THEIR LIVES. like come on

noooooo goddammit I’m tired of seeing Izuku quietly despairing over things that AREN’T HIS FAULT

I am glad to see this side of the civilian population, though. sure have come a long way since the low point that was the U.A. clown mob. I like this a whole lot better ngl

what’s up with this mysterious bus all of a sudden

OH MY GOD THEY’RE BACK LMAO. QUICKLY BAKUDADS. form a perimeter

they’re apologizing again dsfkjlskdfjlsfd THEY DIDN’T EVEN CONSIDER EVERYONE’S CIRCUMSTANCES!!! holy shit these first years are all collectively my new favorite character

Cementoss couldn’t take the pressure omfg. is this your first year as a homeroom teacher?? YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING OUT OF CEMENT BUT CAN YOU MAKE YOURSELF A FREAKING SPINE, CEMENTOSS. I love him

Cementoss is telling them to go work in the corner so they don’t bother everyone else lmao. stuck them as far away from Kacchan as possible. good looking out, Cementoss. how many dads are we up to now?? five? six if we count Iida????

“hey so anyway what actually is up with these fucking kouhai though” I don’t know but my greatest regret is that this only became a thing three chapters before the series finale. where has this nonsense been all my life

“I don’t really understand” me neither fella but here in BnHA land we just roll with it

now we’re cutting back to Ochako who’s making yet another mysterious face that makes me think she knows perfectly well how much we all want to know whether Toga is alive or not, and she’s deliberately dragging it out just to fuck with us

okay I honestly can’t tell if Ochako is being fake cheerful or genuinely cheerful. but it’s definitely fake cheerful right??

aaaaand there’s a close up of Deku with FULL LIGHT back in his eyes like the clouds just parted for the first time in an age. accompanied by a THROB sound effect. ohhhh buddy. did my boy just have a hormone. is it finally that time

THEY’RE LETTING THE KIDS GO BACK HOME OMG. if they want. awwww. r.i.p. fanfic dorms. poor Shinsou missing out ONCE AGAIN

THEY DIDN’T CATCH THE CONCLUSION OF THE TOGACHAKO FIGHT ON FILM??! oh hell no. that settles it, she’s definitely still alive

tell me this cheeky motherfucker (Horikoshi, not Ochako lol) isn’t going to try and actually END THE SERIES with Toga’s fate still all ~mysterious~ and ~up in the air~ like I’m starting to get the sneaking suspicion that he’s doing

HORIKOSHI I SAID I DIDN’T WANT A DEPRESSING CHAPTER WHY ARE YOU HITTING ME WITH THESE FEELS AFTER I LET MY GUARD DOWN

YOU REALLY GAVE MY GIRL A SYMBOLIC FRODO STYLE ANGSTY STAB WOUND SO SHE CAN NEVER FORGET THE PAIN OF THAT DAY ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW WITH THIS

DEKU AHHHHHH

oh my god lol. I’m so curious what’s going to happen next week. my money for the record is on them bonding in a STRICTLY PLATONIC WAY over their respective dead(!??!?!) villains rather than a Romance Thing happening. but I wouldn’t be bothered if they do go there though just so long as we don’t get any timeskip epilogues where they’ve all got fucking kids and such now. don’t you do that to me Horikoshi Kouhei. I swear to god two chapters left omfg. this is really happening. the inexorable march of time etc. etc. ahhhhhhhhh

[gallierhouse]

Let’s make a quick note of the fact that Armand’s leadership of the coven and his general abuse of power is pretty normal for a theatre director. Like, it’s not perfect, but it’s pretty normal for the director to punish/humiliate the troupe to inspire better performances or enforce obedience. (Here are some examples.) There’s even a TV show about it (Barry, HBO). If you think about it, a theatre is an insular environment with a clear leader (the director) that subjects its participants to long, grueling hours of rehearsal, memorization, prop-building, costume-making, etc. Also, given the timeline for performances, many actors and stage techs end up spending a lot more time working on the production than a 9-5. It’s not uncommon for practice to be ramped up or extended because of an inadequate performance, so people end up staying late at the theatre, arriving early, etc. Furthermore, the nature of theatre demands criticism. There’s never going to be a perfect performance unless the director criticizes actors and makes notes, never going to be a perfect set unless the director gives the techs notes, etc. Ultimately, the performance is always about the director’s artistic vision, so it’s their job to correct and guide actors and techs to that vision. Also, think about the nature of theatre — it’s a performance. It’s inherently public. So when the director criticizes actors or techs, it doesn’t make a lot of sense for them to take the individual backstage and gently correct. It’s more productive to do it in front of everyone so that everyone receives the same note and can integrate it into their work. It’s the same for auditions. It only makes sense for everyone to watch so there’s a sense of meritocracy when the castings come out, like, oh okay, yeah, the lead deserved it because their audition was amazing, and not because of some secret bias. Anyway, put all this together (clear leadership, insular environment, public criticism, public performances and auditions, long hours) and you have a pretty good recipe for a cult. Also, each director will have their own philosophy about acting, and it’s not uncommon for directors to believe that criticism creates better performances, or that actors should actually feel what their characters feel (method acting). This is one wrong turn away from turning into “justified” abuse to generate a good performance (e.g. I’m going to scream at you so you truly feel Hamlet’s anguish and then once you’re shaking and crying and doing a perfect job I’m going to praise you and tell you how much I adore your performance, and this is going to be normal for us.) It’s also a system that has built in rewards. Like, there’s built in punishment (criticism) and built in rewards (roles). It’s all very carrot and stick. Withholding approval, validation, affection, etc. for obedience. It can be cult like.

Going back to IWTV, the coven essentially follows all these conventions. They’re insular and demand an initiation ritual (not out of the norm for troupes, and theirs is honestly pretty mild), engage in public humiliation (Armand criticizing the troupe, singling out Claudia, etc.) and spend long hours together rehearsing (curfew). There’s also this coven mentality that everyone should be grateful because it’s a privilege to participate (why Claudia is forced to wear the dress, because she’s not grateful enough; Sam tells her it’s a privilege to clean up after the shows) That’s cult-like, but it’s also common to theatre. There’s this whole idea that it’s a privilege to perform and a privilege to help, and the director is only abusing you — or sorry, correcting you — because they think you’re worthwhile. It’s out of love. If the director didn’t love you, didn’t see value in you, didn’t believe in you, they wouldn’t bother. They’d just fire you. But if they take the time to punish and correct and criticize? That’s love. That’s something to be grateful for. And it’s unfair and selfish to do anything besides accept the abuse. It’s not only disrespectful to the director, who’s clearly putting in so much effort and love that you’re rudely brushing off, it’s also disrespectful to everyone else putting in the work to support your performance (co-stars, techs, costumes, makeup, etc.). It’s insulting to all of them. You can see how this creates an us vs them mentality — the moment someone steps out of line, not only are they disrespecting the director, who they should be grateful towards, they’re disrespecting the time, effort, and dedication of everyone else. It’s especially bad for Claudia because she’s in a lead role. She’s new, so she’s at the bottom of the pecking order, but she still has the nerve to disrespect everyone, when she should be grateful for the opportunity to lead! Obviously, Claudia isn’t actually ungrateful. She’s just responding normally to the stupid, controlling rules of the coven and Armand’s abuse of power. But no one deep in the coven is going to see it that way, so she gets punished again instead of getting heard out.

Basically, the coven is a lot of things, but one of the things it is is a criticism of the theatre industry. Which makes sense, since the show employs theatre actors and playwrights, who have probably all experienced some degree of this. Being stuck in the same theatre with the same 20-50 people every day for 12 hours is crazy-making, basically. It’s conducive to creating cults, and it’s conducive to abuse. This isn’t to excuse any of the shit the coven of Armand does — it’s all shitty and cruel and abusive and not how a theatre should actually function — but it’s an angle I haven’t seen that many people mention.

[vnti-vnxiety-recs]

Oo how about a yeosang x reader smut? He's an idol she's a fan but she has never met an idol before. So she gets nervous etc. And she's a hybrid so since she's nervous she goes into heat and he quickly takes her away from the crowd sensing her distress. After speaking with management takes her back to the hotel and asks Seonghwa what to do. So he tells him how to help her and get back to clear (creampie her) and so he does but he makes her squirt for the first time and he ends up asking to go again etc? Please

These asks were similar enough i combined them. This was my first crack at writing hybrid so hope its on brand.

Unprotected sex, creampie, mature, MDNI (lowkey I forgot what I wrote and I don't feel like proofreading sooooo WARNING WARNING)

Hybrid! Reader's first heat with Yeosang (M) ₊˚౨ৎ˚₊

Today was lively, filled with people bustling in and out of the shopping district. You had planned to run a few errands and pick up some clothes, especially since you had recently been paid—and shopping was your guilty pleasure. As you were window shopping, you caught a glimpse of him through the shop's glass pane: Yeosang from ATEEZ. You were so taken aback that you could hardly move. You had known they were on tour in your city, but the tickets had been out of your budget at the time, so you hadn’t been able to attend. It was shocking to unexpectedly encounter a member in such a casual setting; you would have thought they would be on the road by now.

You felt a wave of nervousness wash over you; you had never seen an idol in real life before. Yeosang was accompanied by what appeared to be his manager. As a huge ATEEZ fan and Yeosang bias, this was an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to speak with him. You knew you had to seize the moment.

The store was bustling with holiday shoppers, making it challenging to navigate through the crowded aisles. You carefully maneuvered your way in and out of people, your heart racing with every step. The closer you got to him, the more intense the feeling became. It wasn’t just nerves; something deeper stirred within you, but you pushed forward nonetheless.

“Excuse me,” you manage to say, your voice weak and shaky.

Yeosang, who was engrossed in a rack of clothes when you approached, turned to look at you. A small smile spread across his face. “Yes?” he replied.

“Are you Yeosang from ATEEZ?” you asked, wincing at your own question. Of course, he was; you wouldn’t have approached him otherwise.

He chuckled softly, his eyes sparkling, and nodded in confirmation. “Yes.”

“I’m a really big fan, and I just wanted to say hi and tell you how much I love your mus—” You suddenly feel lightheaded and clear your throat, forcing yourself to finish. “Music,” you manage to add weakly.

“Are you okay?” Yeosang asks, concern etching his features. His hands reach out to steady you, and it dawns on you that you’ve been swaying.

When he touches you, it's as if your skin ignites. A wave of tingling warmth rushes through you, leaving you unable to concentrate. The noise of the crowd swells around you, becoming almost deafening, and it feels like your ears are ringing. Your vision starts to blur, and suddenly there are two or three fuzzy images of Yeosang before you.

Then everything goes dark.

When you wake up, it feels like your body is ablaze. You writhe in discomfort, the heat radiating off you so intensely that you throw off the covers you hadn’t even noticed before. As you sit up with some difficulty, it dawns on you that you’re no longer in the bustling mall. The room around you resembles a hotel suite—tastefully decorated yet overwhelmingly unfamiliar.

You strain to hear, catching the faint sounds of muffled conversation coming from the bathroom.

“I couldn’t just leave her there!” Yeosang’s voice carries through the door, laced with urgency. After a brief moment of silence, he continues, “I don’t know what’s wrong with her. Seonghwa came and said she was a hybrid… He thinks she’s in heat.”

A heavy silence follows his words, and confusion swirls in your mind like a thick fog. You’ve heard whispers of hybrids before—beings that blend human and animal traits—but what could it mean for you? You’d always believed your parents were entirely human; could they have concealed something so significant from you?

An unsettling realization washes over you. What kind of hybrid could you possibly be? You think back to the odd things about yourself—things you’d always brushed off. Unusually keen senses, a strange affinity for certain animals, but nothing overtly visible. Usually, hybrids had telltale signs like tails, pointed ears, or even sharper teeth, all characteristics that would have required concealment.

But you don’t recall anything like that in your life. What was happening to you? As your mind races, you find yourself grappling with questions that feel far beyond your understanding. You try to calm your racing heart, focusing on the warmth you still feel radiating from your skin and the lingering memory of Yeosang’s touch. Would he have really brought you here? And why would he think you were in heat?

Just then, the bathroom door creaks open, and Yeosang steps out, his expression quickly shifting from concern to relief when he sees you awake. “You’re okay,” he says softly, as if trying to soothe both you and himself

Your eyes land on him, and it’s as if all your senses have been cranked up to a hundred. Every nuance, every detail about Yeosang is amplified, and your body feels strangely magnetized to him, an overwhelming urge to pounce surging through you.

“Ughhh,” you groan, curling in on yourself. You’re not writhing in pain anymore, but rather it feels like an instinctual restlessness coursing through your veins, one that’s unfamiliar yet potent.

His scent wafts toward you, a heady mix that sends your senses into overdrive. You find yourself clawing at the covers, desperately trying to keep yourself grounded. “What’s happening to me?” you ask through clenched teeth, the words escaping in a breathless whisper.

“I think you’re in heat,” he replies cautiously, his eyes searching yours for understanding. “I can help you, but you have to let me.”

His voice sends a shiver down your spine. “I don’t care,” you insist, your voice forceful despite the chaos inside you. “Do whatever you have to—just make this go away.”

He nods, but there’s a noticeable hesitation in his demeanor. “Okay, um… You’ll have to get undressed,” he says, his voice quiet and uncertain. “I can help relieve you, but… only if you’re okay with that.”

He glances away as he fidgets with his hands. “I don’t want to pressure you, but I really think it would help ease your discomfort.” There's an almost palpable tension in the room as he waits for your response, hoping you’ll trust him amidst the chaos swirling inside you.

You quickly shed your clothes, desperation driving your movements. Crawling to the edge of the bed on your knees, you looked up at him, your breath quickening. “Please… help me,” you panted, the weight of your need pressing heavily upon you. You were gradually losing your mind—literally. Every ounce of your being was screaming at you to devour him. You needed him to do something fast.

You see him take a deep breath before he sheds his own clothes. His touch is light as he guides you to lay on your back but the moment his hands touched your skin, you lost it. Your body reacts like a spring-loaded trap and your limbs cage him in. Your legs wrap around him and you pull him flush to your body. He lets out a groan, his already hard cock slipping through your impossibly wet folds. You were soaking.

“Fuck, should we go slow?” he asks with a shuddered breath.

“I can’t wait. I feel like I'm dying every second your not in me” You growl primal instincts screaming at you to let him breed you.

He leans back as far as you let him and slips a hand between your bodies to line himself up at your entrance. When he pushes into you, it's like nothing you've ever felt before. Yeosang must have felt like that too because his grip tightens and he's driving into you at a bruising pace and you're grateful because if he gave you anything less, you would have cried.

You still do cry, but these are tears of pure, unfiltered pleasure. It was like he was made for you, made to fill you up and fuck you over and over. He pulls away and your hands reach out to grab him but he's quicker than you; he presses you back down into the mattress with your legs pressed up against your chest before he's thrusting back into you. The room was filled with lewd noises, his throaty groans, your unabashed moans and the slick sounds of your core slapping against his balls.

“Im close” You whine.

“Me too,” Yeosang moans, not letting up for a second.

Soon he's spilling deep into you. The feeling of his warm seed filling you up pushes you over the edge and you're riding that wave with him.

He doesn't pull out right away, and you savor the feel of the way your bodies entertwine. Hes pulling out and you think hes about to get off of you but hes thrusting back into you with a new hunger.

“Ah! Yeosang,” you moan. You felt a lot better now but you weren't complaining as he continued to please you. You felt that familiar tug in your gut and you knew you were close again but this time felt different. You can feel your legs start to quake and then you were making a mess.

Yeosang tried to fuck you through it but the pressure of your release pushed him out. You squirt all over his thighs, surely ruining his sheets.

Your embarrassed but when you look up at him, he doesn't seem phased.

“Can we go again?”

[yogsandchaos]

I clicked on a video essay about the problems with mcrp by frostbyfreeman, and boy did I regret it, giant rant under the cut

I genuinely think the dream smp as a story and it's failings can only be done by someone who was a fan or at least had some respect for the series. Listening to anyone who doesn't try and talk about it is very...painful, like I'm sorry but the Hamilton homages were really good and fun and helped make sure everyone understood what was going on! I've been listening to the frostbye freeman's video on scripted minecraft videos and i am wincing at the incorrect details and honestly somewhat pompous takes on what counts as a good story.

Wilbur's writing was genuinely good and moving at times, and the smp hadn't hit it's BIG popularity yet when it super was leaning into the hamilton stuff so they still were mostly just goofing around and the scripting was a lot looser. Like he spent the entire opening gassing up the early more obviously scripted stuff as if there wasn't like 30 over a million views yandere simulator knocks via all the yandere highschools, it's the same thing!

By the time the story shifts into Technoblade's allegories the entire genre of the smp has changed from a goofy joke about countries that also tackled things of justice in the background, into a more tense action and espionage story that fits allegories better (which tbf i always thought were a little forced, tommy is not theseus at all really, techno has more in common but thats a whooole other rabbit hole)

Also head writer? Since when was Technoblade a HEAD writer, he wrote the stuff around his own character yes, but everyone else around that was being written by dream quackity and tommy after Wilbur stepped down! It was not or never was his goal to tie all of the dsmp into a cohesive story to my knowledge or according to anything I can find.

While he has some points about people fighting for attention, a lot of the arcs that went nowhere or suddenly pivoted or stopped were for a lot of reasons outside the server's management. While I am sad some things didn't get proper endings, their existences weren't problems or a sign of arrogance, it was people excited to tell their own stories. Some failed, some didn't, that's natural for a collaboration of this size, and while things could have DEFINITELY been organized better 100% its just how its going to go in a project like this that not everything is going to be able to get the attention and streams it needs, people have lives outside the smp and have other things to do or run out of ideas, it happens.

If anything I liked how everyone had their own lore! Everyone had biased versions of events or thoughts and opinions! No one needed to agree on everything because the inherent nature of choosing a streamer is choosing a bias! No one 100% knew the truth, and everyone who saw the same event came out with different interpretations! That's just how things work! Thats not a writing error!

You say none of it made sense but did you actually ask someone who cared about the series about it! People have spent so much time piecing everything together it's actually kind of insulting to flat out state that it makes no sense when so many people could just straight up tell you the entire timeline for their streamer, or of events, or how things led into each other!

God I hate the use of "if everyones the protagonist no one is" like first of all, pretentious as hell. Second of all, the point of the other streamers isn't to just be supporting cast but to ALSO have their own goals and desires, because all characters have goals and desires! While tommy is the quote unquote main character, everyone in the dsmp has clear goals or at least interests that make sense for them to go after! Do you expect badboyhalo and quackity and everyone to just do nothing while tommy's in exile? No! That's stupid and he is ALSO a streamer who needs a story to tell!

It would be completely immersion breaking and so much less real feeling if every single story and every action was just about tommy and if he's not in the area it just stopped until he got back! You can just admit this kind of format isn't for you! Lifesteal isn't "worse" because there isn't one singular main character, that's not how servers work! You pick your favorite and see their pov and how they see events unfold! It's not supposed to be an unbiased telling, it's one person in this world giving their biased and personal accounts! THIS KIND OF CONTENT HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE LIKE 2012 WITH HERMITCRAFT, IT'S NOT NEW!!!

"The dream smp's only lasting legacy besides the amazing countless fanarts is infecting all the wannabe content creators it spawned with a terminal case of main character syndrome." Oh fuck offfff, have you literally talked to anyone in this fandom ever? Songs, animations, cosplay, stories, and CAREERS were launched off the back of the dream smp "and that final folly" say you've never talked to an inniter without saying you've never talked to an inniter.

Genuinely the entire dream smp part of this video is insulting, misinformed, and lazy. Getting key differences wrong and presenting opinion as objective facts. The worst part? You can find every single issue in an old school scripted series. He spends the entire opening talking about the good days when minecraft roleplay was earnest and was well written and had meaning but like?

"its homage" every single yandere highschool series but especially the main og of samgladiator's

"it has too many main characters" mianite

"too many dropped plots" aphmau, just aphmau in general

"the lore is confusing" jurassic craft

in fact, you can sum up ALL OF THAT UNDER THE YOGSCAST

YOU KNOW?

ONE OF THE BIGGEST SOURCES OF THOSE SCRIPTED MINECRAFT EARLY ROLEPLAYS THAT GOT SO HEAVILY PRAISED AT THE START? SHADOW OF ISRAPHEL?

IT HASN'T GOTTEN WORSE AT ALL, EVERY SINGLE PROBLEM LISTED, IS NOT THE DREAM SMPS FAULT, BUT IT HAS BEEN THERE SINCE THE GODDAMN DAWN OF MINECRAFT ROLEPLAY!

Calling all of the dream smp, life steal, all of those smps "crude performance art" is genuinely the most disrespectful thing I've heard I just, how is this video not disliked into oblivion!? You say they've yet to change from genre to it's own medium of art, but that means nothing! That has no meaning! It is the same thing! The medium is just the place the story gets told, it's the lens the story is created with. Writing is a medium! Drawing is a medium! Painting is a medium! Minecraft smp videos are inherently in the medium of the minecraft program!

The utter constant disrespect of the genuine stories and tales people try and tell with minecraft, saying minecrafters have nothing to say, it's cruel! I can find you so many minecraft videos over an hour long that are poignant! I can give you so many stories about minecrafters handling tough themes! To dismiss it ALL as lazy slop is at worst a show of utter pure pretension, and at best a lack of understanding for the genre and a lack of research.

Why are you trying to engage with a minecraft scripted story as a FILM it's NOT A FILM and it is not TRYING TO BE A FILM, it's closer to a tv series! You say people cant be off their cellphones during a film, but you're BINGING something not MEANT to be binged! You are also engaging incorrectly! You would fail to grasp the merit of a podcast because people listen to them while doing other things! Each video he showed of parrot's has MILLIONS of views so clearly, this isnt a universal fact! you just do not like this kind of content! That is okay! It does not mean theres a secret sickness!

Genuinely every word out of this person's mouth makes me want to start biting, he calls the videos entertaining, then DERIDES THEM for not being "actual stories" and that "he needs to sit at the grown up table if he wants to be a story teller" like literally? what the fuck is wrong with this guy? Just because it's not fucking brokeback mountain doesn't make it not a story. A story is just that, a story! You can tell a story in three lines

"Once upon a time there was a dog named spot Spot had a nice nap about chasing squirrels before he woke up Then he went to chase squirrels before taking a nap again"

THAT'S A STORY, that's objectively a story! im being a storyteller! Its not a long story, it's not LITERATURE, but it is in fact. A story. Just because it's not the odyssey doesnt make it not a story! THAT'S HOW STORIES WORK. How can you deride a story taking place in minecraft...for being bound to the rules of minecraft? thats a part of the medium! YOU JUST SAID YOU WANTED IT TO BE IT'S OWN MEDIUM AND YET YOU CONSTANTLY DERIDE EVERYTHING THAT MAKES IT UNIQUE

The lack of self awareness, the lack of care, the lack of understanding why these videos get so many views, it's insidious, it infects every pore of this video. The premise is "i dont like something therefor its bad and im going to ramble about cinema to make me sound smart for saying that" and it's so goddamn blatant that he worked backwards from an inherent bias against a type of medium to condemn it as a whole without taking any real steps to question that bias!

Also the sheer nitpicking against "content creator" vs "storyteller" like i get content creator is an annoying term and everyone hates it, but its literally just shorthand for "makes something for other people to enjoy" like oh my god you don't need to treat it like it's this disgusting plague on the minecraft community. Like you ask why minecraft roleplays have to be scripted smps, and the answer is that some stories want to be told through that lens, while others want to be told through different lenses of what minecraft can be used for. You might as well ask why some people use pens instead of pencil or why people use fantasy instead of sci-fi for all the meaning that question actually has. It's either so benign it has no meaning to ask, or complete apples or oranges!

God, how am I only 30 minutes in. I don't even want to continue. This was only supposed to be me rambling about how the dream smp cannot be understood fully as a story from someone who refuses to engage with it on it's terms, but the sheer audacity of everything this video says is just...disgusting to me and I had to keep commenting on it.

For someone who talks about how important brevity is, this hour long video is full of boring unrelated nonsense that easily could have been cut, false dichotomies being drawn, and far too much time talking about stories you clearly dont want to give even a chance. It's just bad, it's the "why is minecraft boring now" video for minecraft roleplay where it demands it be something its not and never has been, and then throws a fit about it and about people who do like it and holds a nostalgia for something that has the exact same flaws and thus polishes into something Better.

As a story teller myself, as someone who enjoys minecraft roleplays, who has been watching mcrp videos since 2012, it's genuinely disgusting how little respect or care he has for the creators he talks about. As if those creators and all the people who like it are idiots while He is the only one with True Taste that everyone else must go up to meet. It's annoying as hell, and i regret clicking on that video

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite scully moments from s4

in episode 1, she cracks encrypted messages, commenting that “you say ‘a twenty letter code’ to any scientist and they immediately think ‘protein amino acid sequence code’, which is what this turned out to be” <- and that is genius at work right there!!

skinner pulling her aside to ask “do you realize what you are promoting?” when she puts together there's a whole international smallpox conspiracy, and she cuts him off with a clear “i am a SCIENTIST, sir” <- that is right!! you tell him!!!

trying and failing to come up with a theory for how the photos in episode 4 became terrifying: “plus, the film is two years out of date” “oh” “the-the photographic chemistry could have changed” “uh-huh” “the-the dyes fade… they… alright, that’s your theory?” (had me absolutely giggling)

we also learn in episode 4 that she took german in college <3

in episode 6, she spends a great deal of time explaining the science behind sleeping pills and their controversial effects

(and i also loved her fury that such an advanced facility was being used for plastic surgery rather than life-saving care)

tearing into the culture of lawlessness while testifying in episode 9; talking about how she left the medical field to protect the innocent and punish the guilty- such an excellent moment, more of that good old fashioned scully righteous rage combined with inherent optimism- and her continuing to read her statement despite the council repeatedly cutting her off (as she should!)

choosing to be jailed rather than reveal where mulder was located, because she will do the right thing no matter the consequences (and is also just a really great friend)

((and bonus points for skinner checking up on her: “you holding up alright?” “i’ve got plenty to read”, she says, as she flips through medical texts))

“it is my natural inclination to believe they are acting in the best interest of the truth… but i am not inclined to follow my own judgment in this case” (casting aside her own optimism in the face of such corruption, understanding her personal bias and objectively putting it to the side… i admire her ability to do so)

((but still. after all she has been through, it is natural for her to believe that the government means well. it's incredible))

this exchange from episode 12: “where could he hide an adult body where it wouldn’t be found?” “i’ll show you” (cut to them sorting through the medical waste, mulder looking horrified as she casually says she needs his longer arms to sift through the body parts)

((but isn't it just great that she knew the answer to that question instantly?))

in episode 12, when she realizes that leonard betts trying to kill her means she has cancer, she responds to mulder saying she should be proud of stopping him with a quiet “i just want to go home”

(we get another "i'm going home" moment in episode 22, after their confrontation in the hallway about her fears, and the exhaustion contained in those few words could make me weep)

in episode 14, she writes letters saying goodbye to mulder, trying to convince him her inevitable death was not his fault: “and if the darkness should have swallowed me as you read this, you must never think there was the possibility of some secret intervention, something you might have done”, she wrote, knowing how he would blame himself, trying to spare his feelings of guilt even as she knew she had so little time left

later on, her nose starts bleeding while they're making an arrest; “quit staring at me, i’m fine!”, she says in the voice of someone who is deeply not fine, her helplessness inspiring a fury that thrashes about and digs its claws into everything inch of her

how she told mulder she was going to die, but insisted to her mother that she was fine- her mother is furious she didn’t tell her she was sick, shaking in fear, giving her a kiss and a hug, and saying that she is her only daughter now as they hold each other. while she can tell mulder the truth, she can't find the words to tell her mom how bad things really are

writing in her journal that she needs to draw strength from mulder, needs someone to lean on, even though she works so hard to be entirely self-sufficient; “i need to know you’re out there if i’m ever to see through this”

(contrast this with her earlier attempts to do absolutely every single thing by herself and bask in the character growth)

((but then she REJECTS what she wrote in the journal, saying that she isn’t giving up, and she has so much to prove to herself and her family- they have the conversation in the hallway that made me cry and cheer and yell and experience every emotion in between as she realizes that she is something worth fighting for))

in episode 18, she tries her best to save pendrell, telling him that “we still haven’t celebrated my birthday, pendrell; i’m not gonna let you off the hook like this” - it's the way she spent his last moments on earth trying to make him smile that gets me so emotional

later, she's having this very tense face off with skinner until he notices she was trying to hide her nosebleed; he grabs her hand and says “i have a responsibility for the safety of the agents under my supervision, agent scully. i’m not going to put another agent’s life in jeopardy just to keep her out in the field”, and she assures him she’s okay with tears in her eyes (the way he pierced through her best attempts at a stony exterior… i'm emotional)

they visit max fenig’s trailer again and she still HATED it lmao, she says “i remember being amazed at what some people will call a home”

(and then she disses the very bare hotel room they visit in the next episode, saying “i’m not sure if ‘living’ is the word i would use to describe this space” - give her all of the blankets and throw pillows, she wants a cozy house)

((this, combined with her saying "i want to go home" when she is experiencing moments of earth-shattering grief, made me realize how important to her it is that she have a nice, comfortable, safe space for herself))

smirking at her own stupid joke in episode 19; “what was he wearing, a long black robe and carrying a scythe?”

she knows the lowest temperature a human body has ever reached and survived (70 degrees) and also uses the phrase “nuclear magnetic resident spectra”, both of which made my heart skip a few beats

“okay, so this photo that was never taken, when was it never taken?” <- SEVERELY underappreciated line!!!!

in the opening of episode 20, she starts reciting facts about babies born with extra appendages in incredible detail, and i want to know so badly why she is educated on the subject. scully, please give us the story time video

she also mentions her plans to write an article on “diminished acetylcholine production in recidivist offenders” when she goes home from work. because that is how she spends her evenings, very casual. no big deal (said with great sarcasm)

her realization in episode 22 that the killer had been switching around the rings on each victim’s fingers, based on some blurry photos (it was a very good catch!)

talking to her therapist, admitting she struggles to talk about her fears, and that mulder’s passion has been a source of strength during her sickness

(we then, very briefly, see her praying in her nightgown in her apartment, before mulder knocks on the door to ask for her medical opinion. i find that shot so compelling, especially when you contrast it with her saying in the finale that she is not ready to return to the church- it must be too personal to talk about, god must be something she wants to experience on her own at this point in her life)

((and she grapples with the revelation that everyone else who had seen the spirits had been dying, knowing what it means for herself))

the way she shoots the evil nurse in the shoulder not to kill her, but to incapacitate her… scully, your aim is legendary

fun facts with scully, episode 23 edition: dostoyevsky had waxman-geschwind syndrome!

VERY FIRMLY telling mulder that he NEEDS to get to the hospital, and when he continually refuses, instead asking to go on a road trip, she agrees... ONLY on the condition that she drives!!!!

and when his terrible trauma ketamine trip culminates in him almost shooting her and himself, she manages to talk sense into him, before she rests her entire body on him, shielding him, not letting him move, weighing him down like an anchor back to reality

(her being the one taking charge in this episode even while she feels she is losing so much of her agency in her life makes me so emotional)

when mulder interrupts her family dinner in episode 24 to go on a quest for alien answers, she reminds him that this is his goal, and not hers. when he tries to convince her, she refuses to budge- it was frustrating to watch him put her in that situation, but amazing to watch her stand her ground

(and the fact that she wasn’t able to tell him her cancer was getting much worse is also so fascinating to me- why couldn't she bear to break it to him? would saying it aloud make it real?)

and of course, her tracking down the dude that shoved her down the stairs and nearly hitting him with her car (it was deeply satisfying)

[i-cant-sing]

hi! clarification- this isn't a request to write or anything, i just had an idea and wanted to hear your opinion on it

i know you haven't touched the demon slayer scene in a while, but considering uzui's whole nightmare house thing and tanjiro's act of I Do Not See It, do you think that y/n would actually run to another hashira as a last resort?

honestly if yes, i'm betting its giyuu. man is a platonic yandere but would not stand for shit and is probably one of the least insane (although that means. very little in the grand scheme of things). idk i just have the idea in my head of giyuu smuggling y/n into his estate when she needs a break, and going papa wolf whenever uzui fucking breathes in her vicinity, deep-seated insecurities or not. he may not win, necessarily, but dammit will he try.

(can you tell i have a bias-)

No cause I 10000% agree with you. With Tanjirou constantly ignoring your story about being fucking abused physically and psychologically by Uzui+wives, and not paying attention to Nezuko being distressed over your ptsd state, and EVEN looking away when Uzui and the wives are constantly trying to create opportunities to corner you and being a little to touchy with you (and you're flinching away), someone else has to step up and help. And I have 2 people in mind for that.

First, is ofc Giyuu, cause why wouldn't he??? His moral compass is clear as day and he doesn't even need to be a yandere for him to absolutely shred everyone to pieces just to protect you. He can see the fear in your eyes, he can practically feel the hopelessness and anxiety you're suffering through. I think he may even try to convince Tanjiro to see that you're actually telling the truth, but he's not going to break his back to make him believe it. No, he doesn't exactly need him to protect you. Again, I see Giyuu becoming a platonic yandere, maybe more of a brother than as a father figure, and while he's... emotionally stunted, he's going wayyyy out of his comfort zone to console you. Expect a lot of head pats and deep words to assure you. He's a great listener, if it helps. ALSO, I can also see that if Uzui+wives come with other Hashiras to fight Giyuu for you, then Giyuu doesn't exactly have any qualms about joining forces with demons to protect you. Like I just know that if reader vouches for him to papa Muzan and the 12 moons, they would (hesitantly) accept Giyuu and you. After all, he has been the only human so far who's been kind to you.

Another option that I think would step tf up for reader is Sanemi, as a romantic yandere. Because this man, he's got love on the brain and he's fucking KILLING ANYONE WHO TRIES TAKINGBL YOU AWAY FROM HIM. Fr fr, he will actually fight all the hashiras and 12 moons for you. Will he win? No one knows for sure because like I said, he's absolutely batshit crazy when he's in love. Like one peck on the cheek from you is enough fuel for him to obliterate everyone with in 12 miles. Imagine what he's willing to do if he sees you waking up screaming and crying from the nightmares you have of Uzui.

[ihavethedreamies]

Up Close | What the Heart Wants (2)

Qian Kun - NCT/WayV

Rating: M (18+) MDNI

Word Count: ~7.3k and all of it is smut

Pairing: Kun x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Altered History AU!, Royalty AU!, Smut, No Plot Whatsoever, Self-Indulgent as Hell

!!This is smut…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used, Pet Names (Sweetheart, Princess, Pumpkin, etc.), Swearing, Filthy Words/Dirty Talk, Kissing, Hand Kink, Slight Corruption Kink, Praise Kink, Creampie/Breeding Kink, Daddy Kink (obviously), Soft/Dom! Kun, Big Dick! Kun (obviously), Cockbulge, Cockwarming, Hickeys/Marking, Body Worship, Multiple Orgasms, Overstimulation, Squirting, Spanking, Just a Bit of Bondage, Breath-Play, Thigh Riding, Hand Job, Fingering/Finger-Fucking, Oral (M! & F! Receiving), Deepthroating, Face-Fucking, Intercrural/Thigh Job, Sex on the Stairs, Mirror Sex, Unprotected Sex (Would not Recommend), Kun Being Really Fucking Sexy (as usual) there's so much in this dear lord

Part 1: From Afar - This story can be read as a standalone, since there is no story. I would recommend reading the first part, but you really don't have to.

Disclaimer: I do have the whole cock-bulge thing in this. I understand this could be a bit offensive to some who are on the heavier side (I am in that group as well). Sorry if this doesn't align with your body type, this is just a work of fiction.

Author's Note: Oh Holy Fuck, look at this. I know I said my Good Enough story for Jisung was filthy, nope. This is what I have decided to call a mud puddle because it's that filthy. This is the most self-indulgent thing I have ever written and might ever write. There is maybe two paragraphs of plot at the beginning and end, otherwise its literally 7k+ words of smut.

P.S. Like I said on the last part, Kun is my ultimate bias and so this is my gift to myself.

I split this into two different parts because it would be so long otherwise, plus I wanted this to be independent if someone didn't want to read the first part.

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

The sun was setting by the time all the servants and movers left. It took so long since they had to set up everything, even finish decorating. The wait was killing you, probably Kun as well. With bated breath, you watched the door shut, hearing the click loudly and you dashed forward to look out the side window, watching the last helper walk down the sidewalk. Stepping back, you spun around, your flats let you do so smoothly on the wood floor. You bit your lip playfully making Kun chuckle. Watching, enthralled, he removed his blazer, showing his sleeves up, stalking closer.

"Come here, sweetheart." You met him halfway and he yanked you into him as you giggled. His forehead bumped against yours as you both smiled like idiots and when you opened your mouth, you didn't get the chance to speak, his lips already on yours. You whined, fingers gripping the thin fabric of his white button up. Kun's hand buried into your hair at the back of your head, tilting your head to his preferred angle, tongue slipping its way into your mouth when you moaned at the tug. He pushed your body back with his till it hit a table in the entryway. The wooden vase on the table was luckily filled with fake flowers because it hit the floor as he lifted you onto the surface. Finally, you heaved for air when he pulled back, that sinfully delicious smirk present on his face.

"You need to tell me right now, sweetheart, what I can do to you." He twisted his rings off, letting them simply cling on the floor, then he took his watch off, not caring if it broke when it hit the wall after his toss.

"Anything." Your lips brushed his since he was still so close, your hands cupping his face, thumb running over his jawline. His hands grabbed the hem of your thigh-high socks, pulling them down and removing your flats as well. The gentleness of the action tugged at your heart, but the look on his gorgeous face tugged at your core.

"Anything? You might regret that (Y/N)." Your body shuddered hearing his voice sneak your name straight into your ear as his nose nuzzled the side of your face.

"I promise I won't." Kun chuckled, the sound rumbling straight to your cunt, making you sigh. He toed his own shoes off, kicking them behind him, fingers undoing his belt. The leather snapped as he tugged it hard from the belt loops of his pants and it clattered to the floor as well.

"No? You sure?" His hips pressed against the table under your butt, bringing him even closer. Even through layers of clothes, the heat of his body against yours caught your skin on fire, goosebumps rising all over.

"Please, I want you…"

"Want me? Want me to do what?" You knew he was teasing you, but you didn't care, he was right in front of you, his lips lightly brushing your skin, the scent of his cologne invading your mind, and you wanted to taste him again.

"God, I want you to fucking ruin me." You managed to sigh out, head swimming when he ground his hips into you, and you knew for a damn fact that he wasn't hard yet.

"I think I can manage that." he hummed, "safe word?"

"S-Safe word?"

"Sweetheart, I need one or I'm not continuing." What was he planning? Whatever it was you couldn't wait.

"U-uh, Ceres." The choice made his smirk falter into a soft smile, but he regained his composure.

"There's really nothing you're against?"

"Not like, bathroom stuff…"

"Obviously." Kun huffed, shaking his head, a bit worried that people even did that.

"What do you like, sunshine?" He had straightened up, so his face wasn't at your throat, his hand holding yours, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. The move would be so incredibly sweet if not for the context of the conversation. Before you could even try and think of your answer, he brought your hand up to his lips, kissing your knuckles, then took your index and middle finger into his mouth, sucking. You shivered, whimpering at the feeling, thighs twitching so hard he could feel it where he pressed in close.

"U-um…your…hands." You were more focused with how his hand seemed to dwarf yours than even your own fingers in his mouth. Kun arched a brow, pulling your fingers away, wrapping his own around the saliva slicked digits.

"Really?"

"Yes." You swallowed, twisting your hand around his and bringing it close to your lips, much in the same way he did. He leered down at you, tilting his head, making the small pendant in his left ear sway. You dazedly looked over his hand, entranced, so he moved the rest of the way himself, thumb landing on your bottom lip. You mewled and eagerly took his thumb into your mouth, sucking around it.

"You're such a good fucking girl." Kun groaned, shifting his leg, trying to ease the pressure his pants were starting to put on his hardening cock. Your other hand came up to hold his, and you pulled his thumb from your mouth, kissing and licking over the rest of his fingers, enthralled with how big his hand was, how long his fingers were. You gasped when he yanked his hand from yours, but it quickly grabbed your hair at the base of your head and he inhaled your whimper. You didn't even want to fight back, just letting his tongue make its new home in your mouth, tasting over every inch. Kun swirled his tongue around yours, and you heaved air in and out of your nose, salivating further at the taste of his own. You nearly had to tap out, needing a higher dose of air, but he pulled back in the nick of time. Not leaving your brain time to recover, he laid searing kisses to the side of your mouth and down your jaw to below your ear. When the kisses finally reached your neck, right under your chin at your throat, he sealed his lips over the skin, sucking hard on the flesh. The pressure near your windpipe made your hips jump and you mewled when his teeth lightly nibbled, tongue working your skin as well. You obviously couldn't see it yourself, but he grinned with pride at the deep purple mark he had left, then dove back down to leave another in the crook of your neck. Kun tried to press even closer, the table knocking hard against the wall, jerking your covered mound against the bulge in his pants. Your eyes rolled back, fingers gripping hard into his shoulders as his tongue ran from the bow of your collarbone all the way to your ear, then ran over the ridge. Every exposed inch of skin not covered by your shirt seemed to burn and throb, the dark love marks branded you as his. You were forced to lean back till your head hit the wall when he kissed you again, your chest pressed to his. Kun snaked his arms around you, nibbling your bottom lip and mapping the grooves of your teeth with his tongue. His hand cast down your bare thigh, mostly revealed by your shorts, and you followed his prompting and wrapped your legs around his waist. Kun left the kiss once more and you traded tasks, starting to litter his jawline and neck with little pecks and licks as he picked you up. He hitched you a bit higher on him, holding you to him as he carried you toward the sitting room, and he swore, your wet was leaking through the thick fabric of your shorts. The room was darker from the curtains being closed, and he sat on the couch, you on his lap. He had no idea how much it cost but he couldn't wait to turn you into a mess on it, and every other surface possible in the house. As you kissed his neck, he reveled in your heavy breaths and little whines, sighing when your soft lips tried to seal over his skin like his did yours. He wasn't sure if you were unsure of what you were doing or just not thinking straight, but he let you leave a few small kiss marks over his collar bone.

"C-C-Can I take this…off…" You mewled when his arm around your back held you in place as he slid a bit further down into the cushions, pressing your hips down so they rolled your covered cunt over his cock. Your shaky fingers messed with the buttons of his shirt, and he hummed.

"Of course, sweetheart."

"Um…" You got the first three buttons undone, then slumped into him, mind running on overdrive just seeing the first inches of his bare chest. You were pretty small, you actually felt so tiny and soft on him, so sweet. It made him want to corrupt any of your hesitant thoughts into the same lust-fueled ones he had.

"What is it, pretty girl?"

"C-can I request a…pet-name?" You whispered the last part.

"Yes?"

"Um…pumpkin…" You were horribly embarrassed by your own request, that much was obvious since you shrunk into him further, cheek resting on his shoulder, so you looked away from him. Kun rose a brow, wondering how you came to decide on it, and why it seemed to fluster you so much. Then something clicked in his mind, but he planned on acting on his idea later.

"Whatever you want, pumpkin." You gasped, whole body jerking when he said it, and how he said it too… He couldn't fight back a laugh, kissing the crown of your head. Managing the courage to sit up, he cooed at your beet red face, tears shimmering in your eyes.

"Go ahead, pumpkin." He grinned like a madman when your shoulders jerked in a flinch, and you continued to undo his buttons, even shakier. You sighed a groan when you finally pulled his shirt open, and he sat forward so you could completely remove it.

"Oh my god." You groaned, diving back down and kissing over his collar bone more, then down the hard plane of his chest. He watched, incredibly amused, as you moved off of him as your lips moved down, till you kneeled on the floor before him. He rested back further, legs spreading wider to give you room and your mouth watered. Kun grunted when your hot tongue landed just under and to the side of his belly button, running a slick trail all the way up to his sternum. Kissing and nipping back down, your gentle fingers ran over the skin of his stomach, taught over his abdominal muscles. Getting up on your knees more, your hands splayed over his ribs, thumbs rubbing at the underside of his pec, lips sealing at the skin just up from his nipple. You felt the rumbling groan he let out with your tongue, index finger running through the ridges of his ribs. His cock was painfully hard as he watched you leave five bigger hickeys on his torso. One under his belly button, right at the edge of the waist band of his pants, one on his left hip, another at the base of his sternum, a fourth creeping close to his side and the final right over his heart, a faint bite mark visible through the deep red mark.

"Get up here, pumpkin." You squeaked when his hands went under your arms, lifting you like you weighed nothing and plopping you down to straddle his thigh. You could feel his cock straining in his pants, still not as desperate to be free as you were to make it so yourself.

"Later. For now…" His hands encircled your hips, pressing you down and leading your motions, "fuck yourself here." You mewled, and immediately did as he asked. Trying to focus on wiggling your hips over the hard muscle of his thigh, another part of him that was painfully delicious, he worked at your shirt. Getting the buttons undone in the back, he removed the black corset-like vest, then nearly popped the buttons of your undershirt off in his haste. The fabric flew somewhere into the room, and he started his kisses again. Another hickey was left on the swell of your right breast, two on the left, and Kun deftly unsnapped your bra. Too busy easily getting close to orgasm by rubbing your covered cunt on his leg, you gasped in surprise when his lips sucked just as hard on your nipple as he had on other parts of your skin, the slight pain slithered into pleasure and went straight down to your core. Your hips stuttered, having a bit of hard time focusing on humping his leg as his teeth nibbled on your sensitive flesh. The thick seam of your denim shorts wedged into your wet folds, his hard muscle pressing it against your clit. Your breath hitched, and every little breath you let out was laced with a whine or moan. Kun sat back, watching your breasts bounce as you did on his leg, hands on your ass and between your shoulder blades to help hold you up.

"You're so good for me, pumpkin. You wanna cum?" He grinned when you nodded, "please!"

"Okay, sweetheart, you've done so good, cum for me." His words broke the dam, and your body went rigid as waves of pleasure hit you like a freight train. You fell forward, forehead to his bare shoulder, body flinching, leaving a stain in your panties and shorts, and even a bit on his leg. You went limp when the waves died, and you were both surprised at the intensity of your orgasm. Then again, it was possible he could tell you in any circumstance to cum and you would, just from his words alone. Turning your head and looking down, you panted, still resting on him, your quivering fingers going to the tent in his slacks.

"You're so fucking big." You huffed and he couldn't fight a breathy chuckle, sighing as your gentle digits pawed at his cock over the fabric of his pants.

"Stand up, pumpkin. Take the rest off." You did as he asked, so fast you stumbled from the head rush when you stood. Kun kissed your bare tummy as you wiggled the pants off and you swore under your breath. Your last articles of clothing fell to the floor, and you shoved them to the side with your feet.

"W-wait, there-" You flinched when his tongue swirled in your belly button, and he literally felt a drip of your slick hit his knee.

"Sensitive?" You could feel his smile against your skin, and you nodded, trembling when his tongue ran the same trail you left on him, but he finished at your nipple. He pulled you back down, your back arched as he nibbled at your peak, and you settled on the couch between his legs. The couch was big enough for you to kneel there between his legs, and you eagerly went for the button of his pants. He pulled back, running his fingers gently over your back, watching as you wrestled to get the zipper down. Biting your lip, you grinned, bouncing in excitement as your hand met his hard cock, flesh hot in your grip. Your fingers couldn't even touch and you pulled his dick out, whining long and low.

"So pretty~" You giggled, and your mouth hung open, a drop of drool falling past your lips, aiding your second hand as it joined. He exhaled, enjoying feeling your soft hands eagerly stroke his cock, hardening fully in your grip.

"Ah!" You squealed in glee when his finger met your folds, and he furrowed his brow.

"You're fucking soaked, pumpkin."

"I have been since you grabbed my face last week." You moaned, twitching at the feeling of his fingers skating through your slick cunt.

"Oh, fuck, yes~!" Your hands faltered, but managed to continue as he buried his fingers inside you, the slight burn fading fast into pleasure. His fingers reached deeper than yours ever could, and even just two spread you further than Yuta's… Scolding yourself, Kun must have noticed your slightly wandering thoughts, crooking his fingers hard against the rougher spot of your back wall, taking your breath away.

"Focus on me, princess." His tone got just a tad sterner, and he huffed in awe as your cunt clenched around his fingers.

"Y-yessir." You mumbled and Kun groaned.

"You're such a good girl, (Y/N)." Your gummy walls pulsed harder, and he loved being able to tell just from your body what his words did to you. When his ring finger joined the other two, wiggling and prodding at your walls your pace halted, eyes closing.

"Keep going, princess, good job." His other hand rested over yours, guiding your movements. Kun's hand was soaked, your wet dripping onto the couch and he couldn't wait to taste you.

"Fuck- wait, fuckfuckfuck." He had added a fourth finger, and you fell onto him, hands stopping entirely, breathing hard to get used to the stretch.

"Sorry, pumpkin. You're too tight right now, I don't want to hurt you."

"You can -oh my god- you can if you want to~"

"We'll see what the night brings." He grinned and as you got used to the stretch, your hands picked the pace up, and his dick pulsed in your hands.

"Just a bit more, sunshine, just…" Kun sighed, and he pressed into your weakest spot, hard, and your grip tightened, falling over the edge. Watching his hand become drenched with your own release, he joined you and you squealed in glee as sticky ropes of hot cum spurted over your hands and onto your stomach. Huffing and panting for breath, heart racing, he stayed just as hard under your hands, like he hadn't even finished. Before he even decided if he wanted to ask you too, you wiped up your stomach, then brought your hands to your lips, licking his cum from your skin like it was honey. Your hips jerked when he pulled his fingers from your cunt, bringing his hand to join yours and you took his fingers into your mouth instead. Cleaning every drop of your own release, he couldn't help but marvel at how you seemed to crave him, even more than he you.

"Hm, how good are you here?" His now licked-clean hand when to your throat, not tight, but his thumb did press against your trachea.

"Can I show you?" You seemed shy to meet his eyes.

"Of course, pumpkin." He let you go, shoving the coffee table hard with his foot so it was out of your way when you kneeled on the floor. His sticky release still stuck to his cock and wiggled your jaw, estimating. The vibration from your lips as you moaned, taking the fat head of his cock into your mouth, made him grunt. Eagerly, thirstily, your tongue drank each trail of jizz, swirling over the head, tasting the precum spilling from the tip. You used to be proud of how far you could open your mouth, the dentist always telling you that you did well, but Kun's cock was that fucking thick. Your jaw muscles protested when you swallowed the tip, eyes rolling back at the thought of his delicious dick splitting your cunt in half. More precum and saliva spilling past your lips, trying desperately to fight your aching jaw and take his dick all the way into your mouth. At the angle, you couldn't press him in any deeper when the head hit your throat, swallowing to fight back a gag.

"You were made for me, huh? Just for me." Kun grinned, fingers gently weaving into your hair, then gripping hard, yanking your head back. His hand gripped your face, thumb on your bottom lip forcing your mouth open. You held your tongue out, a glob of spit falling from his bottom lip and onto your tongue. Kun grinned wide when you swallowed and ran his fingers through your soft hair.  Not too hard, he directed you by the hair to scoot backwards on the floor, then pulled your head back toward his cock. His gorgeous hand gripped his dick at the base, and you whimpered when he rested the fat head on your lolling tongue.

"How long can you hold your breath?"

"Um, a while. But for this…if you give me like six or seven seconds between thrusts, I won't gag…" You were a bit shy that you already knew this, but you weren't exactly inexperienced.

"Hm, that so? You won't be able to talk while you swallow my cock, so tap out on my thigh if you need to stop, okay? Three times."

"O-Okay."

"Hm, my sweet girl, you ready?" You nodded, obediently planting your hands on the floor to stabilize yourself, splaying your legs to get lower. You inhaled deep through your nose, using measured breaths through your nose as Kun eased his cock into your waiting mouth. The taste of him alone made your head swim, let alone when the tip met the back your throat.

"Good girl, my sweetheart." His voice didn't match the debauched grin he had adorned, watching in delight as your lips encircled his cock. Slowly, with each thrust, he buried his cock deeper into your gullet, and you inhaled hard, body jerking when he filled your mouth, pressing your nose to the skin of his groin. Your eyes rolled back, fighting a gag, holding your breath obediently, cunt pulsing in need.

"Fucking hell, (Y/N), you're an angel." Kun’s fingers carted through your hair, holding your head still, pulling his hips back enough to let you breathe. He learned the sound of your inhales and exhales, then began to batter his fat cock into your throat. Drool dripped down from your lips, splatting on the floor, the salt of his precum and the residue of his orgasm making your mouth water more. Only a few tears pricked at your eyes, a soft gag forced its way up every so often. He gave you longer breaks between complete air cut-offs, he had too much stamina, he wanted you to last. One of his hands left your hair, pressing against your throat, feeling the bulge of his cock as it fucked deep. Your vision was blurring, chest heaving, even with the breaks he gave you, your need for air was growing, but the dull pressure of restriction fueled the fire in your cunt. Kun's eyes glanced to the clock, you were a fucking champ, he was shocked you could tolerate swallowing his big dick for nearly five minutes. You were about to learn he had the stamina of a fucking bear, and he was pent up beyond all get out. He had been wanting to ruin you in the dirtiest ways possible for too long.

"You want my cum down your throat pumpkin?" You moaned, hands going to the backs of his thighs and Kun groaned, the sound slightly rising in pitch as he got closer.

"Breathe." He pulled out far, you sucked in a huge breath, and he buried his pulsing cock as deep as he could and came. He was so deep you almost couldn't taste his cum, but your tummy warmed. He came like a bull. You tapped his thigh twice and he pulled back, the last few small drops leaving the tip as it sat on your tongue. He was still half-hard, but he would need a bit more time to recover.

"Can you stand?" He panted slightly, contrasted with your deep and laborious breaths. You just nodded, throat burning from getting hit like a battering ram.

"Here, lets get you something to drink." He helped you stand, leading you to the bathroom that just happened to be past the closest door. You looked at your face in the mirror, red and splotchy, lips coated in drool and cum. You didn't bother finding a cup, you just turned the water on and used your hand to drink. Nearly choking, you hadn't notice him slink out of view of the mirror, and something warm and wet met your cunt. You cripped the counter, head bumping the mirror, shakily shutting the water off as his tongue snaked into your core.

"You taste so fucking good, sunshine." Kun's groan echoed in the bathroom, and he felt your legs weaken. He wrapped his arm around your hips, hand pressed to your lower stomach, the other around your leg to hold you up. His tongue left your core, sliding through your folds, swirling around your clit and you jerked against the counter, the soap dispenser falling over, rolling into the sink itself.

"K-Kun!" You gasped twice, then keened a moan, falling apart on his tongue. Your cunt spasmed, your release squirting over his face and chin and onto the floor, your vision spotted.

"Have you ever squirted before, pumpkin?" He licked at your inner thighs to clean the trails of wet from the skin.

"N-No."

"Good, only for me then?" He hummed in delight, kissing your ass cheek, then stood up. He wrapped his arms around you from behind, fully hard cock pressing into the cleft of your ass. His hug was so warm and gentle, his nose nuzzling your messy hair, a soft kiss pressed above your ear. Grabbing your hand, he led you from the bathroom, into the hall, and then he pressed your shoulders down. Your knees hit the rug at the base of the stairs, your hands catching yourself a few steps up, and he kneeled behind you. Kun fucked his cock between your thighs, more wet dripping down from your cunt already, slicking the skin. Even your thighs trembled at the girth and a thick vein running down the shaft skated perfectly against your clit. Your little button was already swollen, and it pulsed, stinging just slightly at the continued stimulation. Sighing in dismay when he pulled back from you, his cock leaving the soft flesh of your thighs, you instead hummed in delight when he moved the tip to your cunt. Just the very end nudged into your core, your walls already fluttering in shock at the intrusion. It was one thing holding him in your hands, or even in your mouth, he felt like he was hung like a horse as the fat head started to press in.

"Good girl, my love, breathe slow." His hands cupped your waist, thumbs rubbing comforting circles into your back. Was fucking you from behind for the first time the best idea? Probably not, he hoped he didn't go so deep it hurt. Your whole body spasmed alone with your wet, hot core, every little centimeter searing burning pleasure into you.

"Oh my god, Kun~! You're gonna break me~!" You squealed, delighted, his cock only halfway inside before you came again. He halted as your already tight cavern gripped his cock like a vice, another puddle of wet forming on the stairs.

"Already?" He huffed, waiting for the waves to die before continuing to press in.

"I-Its because it's you. Fuck, your finally inside me…I'm gonna-!" You gasped, your fading orgasm cresting back up, and he took the chance. Kun snapped his hips hard, burying in all the way, head pressing against your cervix, forcing your next climax from you. Your pussy walls, clit and nearly entire lower half burned from overstimulation, the sting quickly growing painful, before dulling into just a buzz, pleasureful once more. Kun saw you white knuckling the bottom of the banister, shoulders jerking, and he leaned down over you, pressing his chest to your back.

"Need a sec…" You whispered and he hummed, kissing over your back and shoulders.

"Your sweet pussy is so good around me, princess, you feel so fucking good-" He paused his words, not wanting to go overboard.

"Yeah?" You whimpered and he chuckled.

"Of course, pumpkin. You're taking my cock like a queen."

"Oh, god, it’s the best, your cock is so big, fuck, Kun! Just fuck me already!" You cried and he exhaled hard.

"You want my cock, pumpkin? Want me to ruin your tight little cunt? Mold it to my dick till no one else could ever compare? Make your body mine?" He let his words go, and he was glad he did, your core fluttering and leaking at each sentence.

"Please! Please, Kun, please, da-" Your words cut off as you moaned, all air and sanity being pulled from you as he pulled his cock out just an inch.

"I'll give you it, pumpkin, take daddy's cock." He was too intuitive for his own good, and he rolled his hips, fucking back into you hard and shallow, your breath hitching with each pound.

"Yes, daddy! Fucking fuck, ruin me, please! I'm yours, only yours…" You were rambling, words slurring, body dropping on to the stairs. The slight thrusts had so much power behind them, every ridge of his dick perfectly running over your weak spot, making your brain short circuit. Sweat dripped down both of your foreheads, a drop running down his neck, chest, stomach and his thigh, more dripping onto your back, meeting your own and falling to the wood below. Kun started to leave more sucks on your skin along your spine, large hand splayed over your stomach right under your breasts, the other meeting yours, fingers weaving between yours.

"(Y/N), I love you. Fuck, you're so perfect for me, sweetheart. Damn, I wished I could’ve had you sooner."

"I…love-! Love-!  You too! Holy fuck, daddy, I'm so close!" You giggled like a fool, squeaking as his thrusts built power, pulling out not even quite hallway before slamming back home.

"You're so fucking wet, pumpkin, your making such a sweet mess." He huffed, looking down to see the shine of your slick all over your thighs and ass, and gleaming on his cock, groin and down his balls and inner thighs.

"Wanna cum? Cum while daddy's cock makes a mess of you?"

"Yes, please? Can I daddy?"

"Yes, sweetheart, go ahead, my good girl." He stopped his movements, cock head pressing hard against your womb and your cunt wept, burning from overstimulation but you needed more.

"No! Nonono!" You babbled when he pulled out, your sticky release coating his dick, dripping to the floor.

"Ah, wha-?" You yelped as he wrapped and arm around you, spinning you and tossing you over his shoulder like a sack of rice. Trying to balance yourself with your weak muscles, Kun moved down the hall toward the master that was luckily downstairs, arm around your thighs to hold you. When you wouldn't stop wiggling, his other hand came down hard on the flesh of your ass, a red welt instantly forming, and your babbling stopped with a choke. Slick drooled onto his shoulder from where you rested on it and he kicked the door closer, stalking to the bed. Nearly dropping you onto the mattress, he flipped you on to your stomach, smacking your ass again.

"Move up." You scrambled to do so, peaking behind you over your shoulder to watch him drop his pants, fat cock standing proud against his stomach, coated in your wet. With bated breath you watched him open a dresser drawer, pulling a red tie out, then he joined you on the bed. Kneeling next to you, he grabbed your wrist, dragging you further up, shifting the blankets under you. Kun wrapped the soft red material around your wrist, then looped it through a gap in the headboard meant for securing the mattress. Finalizing the tie around your other wrist, you gently tugged, not really wanting to even try and resist.

"Okay?"

"Y-Yes."

"Good." You felt a little nervous to, but glanced behind you none-the-less, and not even ten seconds later, his hand landed on your right ass cheek. You gasped, the searing heat jolting straight to your cunt, and he marveled at your reddened skin.

"You're such a good girl, pumpkin, but I also like your little noises-" smack, on the left, "when I do that, plus," smack, right, "you like it too, hm?"

"Yes, daddy!" You yelped as his hand landed on the left again, before the next landed right in the middle. Your pussy wept, his fingers sliding against your cunt, and you spoke, a little scared.

"J-just don't hit me there, please." You wiggled your hips, his finger running through your folds.

"Okay, pumpkin, I won't. You're so good for me." He kissed your shoulder again, and you sighed when the head of his dick met your core again. His thrust shifted you up the bed a bit, the stretch still burning a bit.

"Hold on here." He helped you wrap the slack of the tie around your hands, then you grabbed the edge of the mattress. You sucked in air at the feeling of him pulling back, leaving just the head of his cock inside you, then back in slowly. Disappointed and relieved at the same time, your cunt pulsed and twitched, trying to accommodate his fat girth. With each movement of his hips, it got a bit harder, and you bit the pillow your face was buried in at a good time, because he snapped his hips, starting a brutal pace. You nearly screamed into the pillow, and he forced it lower so you couldn't muffle your sounds.

"I want to hear you, pumpkin. Want everyone to. Hear your mine." He chuckled darkly, grunting, the smack of your skin on his carrying through the room. Each impact of his hips and pelvis against your backside made the hand-marked reddened skin sting deliciously.

"(Y/N), my sweet girl, I'm gonna cum, cum inside you. Hmm, you want me to fuck you full?"

"Oh, fuck, pleasepleaseplease, yes, god, Kun!" You froze, twitching, shuddering when he filled you, tip pressed into your womb, painting your insides white. Heat spread from your core up to your heaving chest and down all the way to your toes. Globs and streaks of your combined releases dripped onto the brand-new covers, spilling from your spasming cunt where he split you open. He watched with a smirk as your pussy spasmed, milking his cock for every drop.

"How the fuck are you still hard?" You managed to whisper out and he chuckled.

"Do you know how long I've wanted you, sweetheart? Too long. Plus, I need to fuck any memory of anyone else from your body, every cell. You're mine."

"Oh~" You sighed at his words, watching him untie the red fabric. Gently, he pulled out, globs of jizz spilling from your cunt and he just smiled, flipping you over. Hitching your legs up to wrap around his middle, even if he was still a bit sensitive himself, his dick slid inside you once more.

"So tight, my love." Kun licked his lips, and your body shivered at the feeling, the different angle hitting new spots inside you.

"Oh, look, pumpkin." He hummed, sitting up, hand on your lower stomach, hiding the subtle bulge evident beneath your skin. When you worked up the strength to look, he moved his hand and the sight made your head swim, gummy walls clenching even harder.

"You're so small, but you're taking me in still, this sweet cunt’s just for me."

"Yes, your fat cock is- oh, fuck, god it's so good!" Your own hand pressed on the bulge, head tossed back, drool dripping from the corner of your mouth. You didn't have the strength to hold your own legs up, and he moved your legs from resting over his elbows, to pressing your thighs to your chest. Your eyes widened, knees at your ears, his cock bottoming out.

"Damn." Kun hummed, loving how easily your body folded for him. He started with the same shallow, hard thrusts as he did on the stairs, picking the pace up some, holding your legs with his chest, ankles by his ears. One hand landed on the headboard to support his weight, the other cupped your jaw. The soft gesture changed as his palm slid down, thumb pressing on the other side of your wind pipe, and pressed slightly. Your air only felt the slightest bit restricted, but where he pressed made his grip feel tighter.

"God, fuck! Daddy~!" Your hands went to his wrist, holding it there, body jerking under his from his fervent pace. His own peak was rising faster than he anticipated, and you felt his cock pulse inside you.

"Cum in me more, please! Want your cum!"

"Hm I can do that. Fuck you full, make it drip from you for days, fill you with me." Kun leaned close to your ear, kissing under it, then sucking on your ear lobe. One, two, three more thrusts and he fucked even more cum into you, already stuffed full, spurts of hot sticky white oozing out and your vision spotted, cunt stinging as you fell apart as well. Your consciousness was fading, exhausted, and you felt his hand leave your throat before you slipped into a light sleep.

~~~

You must have slept through the night since you could see light fading into the room through the curtains, the sun had been setting when you and Kun first started…well, fucking. No way to romanticize it. You were sore beyond all get out, but somehow not satisfied. Neither was Kun it seemed, because he held you to him, both of you completely naked, his hard cock wedged between you two.

"Oh, god." You had nearly forgotten how big he was, the soreness making sense. Small points all over you were sore too, the little hickeys and bites he littered you with. Your ass stung as well, but the most overwhelming feeling was how nice it felt to be surrounded by him. He easily wrapped around you, your body fitting perfectly in the curve of his own, really making you feel made for him.

"You too sore, my love?" His voice made you flinch, not from startling you, but it was deeper and rougher from his sleep.

"I don't think so." You mumbled, throat protesting at you speaking, "though I think I'll be bedridden for the next week." You huffed and he hummed, nuzzling behind your ear.

"Let's start slow." His arm around your middle left, the one under your head curling around your shoulders, pulling you back toward him even more. Shuddering as the head of his dick once again found its home inside you, your pussy jerked in protest, but the slick heat of your walls sucked him in desperately. Bottoming out, he nestled even closer, kissing your head, stilling almost like he fell back asleep. Slowly, the sharp sting faded into the same tingling burn of pleasure, and you experimentally clenched around his cock. Kun huffed in amusement, proving he was still awake, and you felt yourself wake up further as well, nerve endings firing up from the warming feeling spreading from inside out.

"What round will this be?" Kun hummed at your question, thinking.

"Not sure, not enough though." You felt and heard the sucking noise his dick made as it left you, your vision whirling as he flipped you over. Your arms shakily held you up on his chest, his hands on your hips holding you up, hovering over his cock.

"You control the pace, don't want to overdo it." Using his arms to help you ease down and not just drop onto his fat cock, you eased him in, shivering when your clit met the slick you left on his groan, panting, trying to get used to him once more. The idea was good in theory, not great in practice though. You were tired and shaky, so as you started to rock and bounce on his dick, your thighs yelled at you. Still, the pleasure you already felt building spurred you on, almost like an adrenaline rush, but you couldn't keep your pace consistent. You were getting frustrated, and he could tell, hands still at your waist holding you to stop.

"S-sorry."

"Oh, pumpkin, that's fine. Let's do something different." He sat up, helping you dismount, and you whimpered at the loss. Kun kissed quickly and softly all over your face, and you giggled, bowing your head to escape the ticklish onslaught. He scooted back so his back rested against the headboard and he had you face away from him. Easing back down, you straddled his legs, and resting against him when he filled you back up. Moving his legs under yours, he brought his knees up and you were forced back against him more, his legs spreading yours further. Sighing, shakily, you rested your head back against his shoulder, hands falling on his arms around your middle.

"Look, there, pumpkin." He nodded forward and you shifted to do so, finding your reflection in the mirror behind the dresser.

"Did you have them put that there on purpose?" You yiped when his hips jumped, and he hummed coyly.

"I have no idea why it's there." Kun tried not to laugh, and you felt his body stiffen under you. Using his feet as leverage, he started to jerk his cock up into you, quick and deep. You were held up entirely by him, back pressed to his chest, legs over his. Already your clit stung, but you needed him one more time, just one more before you would be satisfied. It seemed he didn't need long either, the same familiar pulse thrummed from his cock and through you. His cum from the day before had still been leaking out of you, formed a ring around where he entered you, mixed with is pre and your slick. You watched enthralled in the mirror, amazed at the ease in which he fucked up into you, and how much of a mess you were.

"Fuck, (Y/N), come with me pumpkin." His hand fell to your clit, flicking it just twice before your body seized, cunt spasming hard even through the soreness and you managed to keep your eyes, watching his release spill from you. As you lay on him, both of you panting, he nuzzled your ear.

"I love you, (Y/N)."

"I love you, too." You mumbled, exhausted already.

"Let's get you cleaned up."

You dozed while he prepared a bath in the jacuzzi of the master suite. With soft and loving movements, he washed your hair and body, massaging away some of the soreness.

"You don't have to wash me too, sweetheart." He chuckled when you lathered up the loofa again. You sent him a playful glare and he sighed, letting you eagerly run the scrubber over his skin before you ditched it in lieu of stroking the soap over him with your hands instead. You looked like you were on a mission, focused, face red with excitement.

"You're so cute." He cooed, brushing a strand of damp hair from your forehead, his own wet hair slicked back.

"And you're the sexiest thing on the face of the earth." You copied his same gentle tone, and it made him laugh. That was the best sound you've ever heard. When he helped out of the bath, legs still shaky, he wrapped his robe around you, going for just a towel around his waist, and you swam in it. It was so nice and soft and smelled like him.

"This is mine now." You declared, shuffling into the bedroom from the bathroom and he laughed again. He cooked you breakfast as you sat on the counter, a pillow under your sore butt, legs swinging. As he waited for the pan to heat up, he nestled between your legs, brushing your nose with his. You had never felt sure pure and gentle love before. Despite neither of you being able to be with each other for so long, you were close enough to fall for each other. At first you thought it was irrational, infatuation, but looking at him before you, with the same loving look reflected in his eyes, you knew that he was yours, and you his. Something you could only really see from up close.

Part 1: From Afar

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[jae-bummer]

My Hospital Bed or Yours?

Prompt: I feel like this could fit him really well - Changkyun and #15

Prompt:

15) You hurt yourself and your bias is in the hospital bed adjacent.

Prompt list can be found HERE.

Pairing: Monsta X Changkyun x Reader

Genre: Fluff

TW: Hospital setting. Mentions of fractures/appendicitis.

.

"Appendicitis," you muttered. "You're telling me it's appendicitis?"

"Unfortunately," your doctor sighed, tapping the side of your hospital bed.

"Well, I don't want it to be appendicitis," you grumbled, crossing your arms, only to cringe in pain from the movement.

"I certainly didn't want that either," the doctor chuckled. "But unfortunately, this is what it is."

"Sooo what's the next steps?"

"We'll have you stay the night and get you ready for surgery tomorrow morning," he nodded.

"Can't you just give me some antibiotics and I can go home?" you groaned.

"Not if you want to be back here in 6-8 weeks to try again."

You leaned your head back on the pillow and whined. "I don't like the hospital."

"I won't take that personally," the doctor chuckled. "I'll be back to check on you in a bit."

With that, your doctor sidestepped around the side of your privacy curtain and began talking to the patient who was in the room with you.

"How are we feeling today, Mr. Im?"

"Same as yesterday," a deep voice croaked. "My butt is numb and my leg is itchy."

"Would it be helpful if the nurse brought you a few more pillows to make yourself a bit more comfortable?"

"Comfort is an illusion here," he muttered bitterly. "I would however like my pudding cup at your earliest convenience."

The doctor let out a surprised laugh. "I'll have someone get right on that."

You heard the physician's steps exit the room and begin to retreat down the hallway. After a moment of silence, the voice on the other side of the curtain cleared its throat. "So, what are you in here for?"

"Appendicitis," you said weakly, but you guessed he had probably already heard that bit. "You?"

"Leg fracture," he sighed. "I'm currently in traction."

"In traction?"

"You know, where they put your leg into a tiny hammock and make it stay there for the rest of eternity?"

"Traction," you repeated. "Got it."

The silence lulled on for another moment. "Whatcha wearing?"

"I'm sorry?" you gasped, hardly believing your ears.

"Don't sound so scandalized," he laughed. "My vote is your hospital gown matches mine. Is it hideous?"

You looked down, furrowing your brow. "I mean...it's not the first thing I would pick to wear."

"Push the curtain back. Let's compare," he said. You could tell from the sudden fluttery motion of the fabric between you that he was attempting to grab at it with his fingertips.

You chewed on your lip, trying to decide if this was a good idea or not. You could just ignore the stranger, whoever he was. Surely he would stop trying to talk to you after some point. Then again, you would be stuck in a room with him for the next day or two. If you decided to stay silent, how awkward could things get?

"I'll make it worth your while," he tried again. "Half of this pudding cup could be yours."

"Fuck it," you thought before narrowing your eyes and focusing on the small pull stick that controlled the curtain. Trying to move as slowly and comfortably as possibly, you grabbed it and pushed it as hard as you could toward the opposite end of the curtain track.

The burst of movement maybe moved the fabric only four feet or so, but it was enough to expose your roommate.

You were shocked by the man you had uncovered. He was smirking mischievously at you, the smile reaching all the way up to his eyes. His hair was black, long, and disheveled, but it suited him. His tan skin had no pallor to it, which was a surprise considering he had been stuck in the hospital room since who knows when.

"Well hello to you too," he grinned, watching you as you took him in.

"Sorry," you squeaked, shaking your head. "I just...I... you weren't what I was expecting. That's all."

"Midsize, dark, and handsome?"

"I...well...midsize?" you fumbled.

"Yeah, I'm nowhere near "conventionally tall" so don't get your hopes up whenever they let me out of this hospital bed," he chuckled. "The adage of "tall, dark, and handsome" didn't quite work."

"Got it," you said quietly, your eyes still roaming his face.

"I'm Changkyun, if you were wondering. And my hypothesis has been confirmed," he nodded. "We are in matching hospital gowns. I've got to tell you, washed out mint is really your color."

"Thanks?" you pushed out. Was this guy for real? "I'm Y/N."

You allowed yourself to finally look away from him and face forward. Taking a deep breath of air through your nose, you slowly blew it from your mouth.

"I was eavesdropping and heard you have surgery tomorrow," Changkyun offered. "That's a bummer."

"Yeah," you said shortly, closing your eyes. You didn't want to even recognize that you were stuck in a hospital bed right now, let alone going in for a procedure.

"You okay?" he asked, his voice tinged with concern. "Sorry if I'm making things worse. I can shut up."

"Please," you said quietly. "And thank you."

After several beats of silence, he cleared his throat again. "It's okay to be scared."

"I'm not scared," you grumbled.

"Didn't say you were. Just saying it was totally okay if you decided to be."

You groaned, opened your eyes again, and turned to face him.

"I'm freaked out," you said quietly, admitting it more to yourself than this stranger.

"That's a synonym for "scared"," he whispered back with a small smile. You couldn't help yourself as you let out a laugh that hurt entirely too much. "Don't think on it too much though. Everything will go great and then they'll wheel you right back here."

"I can hardly wait."

"I can tell," he grinned. "Seriously though, if you don't have anyone else to be here for you, I'm as good a choice as any."

"Oh?" You quirked up your brows. "How so?"

"Well, for starters, I am an A+ cuddler."

"Who said I wanted to cuddle?"

"That's comfort 101, baby," he hummed. "Plus, I'm cute, you're cute, according to science, that makes sense."

You couldn't help but smile. "You're absolutely ridiculous. Do you realize that?"

Changkyun attempted to sit up a bit. "I do in fact live in my head 87% of the time, so i have some idea. Back to the topic at hand though, my hospital bed or yours?"

You choked out a laugh and instantly regretted it as your insides throbbed.

"Sorry," he winced. "You can tell me to shut up again."

"Please don't," you said quietly. This man was absolutely wild, but he was turning your discomfort into something else entirely. You could appreciate that. "You're an excellent distraction."

"You know what else is an excellent distraction? Kissing," he said confidently. "I've heard it works wonders."

It was your turn to sit up now. With wide eyes, you tried to find words. "I don't even know you."

"You could."

Shaking your head. "I think your pain medication is doing the talking right now."

"Is not!" he gasped indignantly. "I know beauty when I see it, and I want your face on my face!"

"Yep," you nodded. "Definitely the medication."

"I will tell them to stop these pills right now and prove to you these are my stone-cold sober thoughts!" he whisper-yelled.

"You're telling me, you just enjoy kissing strangers?"

"If they're beautiful."

You felt heat travel with alarming speed up your neck and to your ears. You knew you weren't at your visual best right now, so any compliment came across well. "You're a flirt, Mr. Im."

"But," he said tapping his chin. "Is the flirting working?"

"I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of knowing."

"Oh, just wait until I get freedom to move again," he gasped. "I am so hopping on one foot over there and suffocating you with unwarranted affection."

"And what if I'm discharged before you are?"

"I'll bar the door with my hospital bed if you don't leave me your number," he said simply.

"And then what?"

"Then we ride my electric wheelchair off into the sunset."