#its really nice to feel like im progressing
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flowergardeninthewall · 10 months ago
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Last year, when the qsmp first started I tried to figure out how I would introduce myself in Spanish using only the two to three highschool classes I took 7 years ago. I struggled a LOT and eventually gave up because I lost a lot more than I thought I had.
Now that I feel more confident in myself,
¡Hola! Me llamo Garden (o jardín). Estoy un blogger de qsmp. Estudio español y un poco portugués.
Yo comencé jugar la minecraft en 2010 y es mi juego favorito. Otra juags me gusta es pokemon, stardew, y splatoon.
Yo solía jugar overwatch por mi universidad, pero estoy jubilada ahora.
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the-art-of-sanshoku · 1 month ago
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Some post fight TLC
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thewickerking · 23 days ago
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3 year old messages cannot be having me giggling out loud it is three am. Sighs. I think more than anything I just miss having the energy to text as many people as often as I used to. I miss late night conversations while barely awake and memorizing timezones and inside jokes and well okay maybe I do miss specific people. I miss the groupchats and servers and communities i was a part of... especially now when I feel such a lack of community around me.... :/
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gifti3 · 28 days ago
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its been a long time since i found a game that had me excited for whats to come
this is a me thing that im talking about below... usually when i play games, its mainly about it preoccupying my brian with tasks and goals. this is why i gravitate towards sim and management games! to me thats whats enjoyable
i feel like its rare that i just play something just cause its fun to me if that makes sense. and i think infinity nikki is managing to do that like im not progressing through the story super quickly and kind of just letting myself explore, dress up and take pictures at my own pace and im really hoping it stays like this for me for a long time
#this doesnt apply to VNs btw i play those purely for story like 95% of the time lol#im mainly talking about games with actual moving gameplay if that makes sense#anyways im really excited for houses#im gonna fill mine with plushies if possible#but like seriously i feel the last time i felt like this was...#probably when i was a child and i first really started getting into mmos#stuff like toontown and pixie hollow and neopets online etc etc#maybe its just a me getting older thing but like...i really do just get into doing the tasks and consider that enough#and im not saying i dont like doing tasks and like setting goals for myself (i like these types of games)#or that i dont play for other reasons too like story#its just nice to switch it up sometimes and just be in the experience and not thinking about what i need to do next#and tbf there have been times when im dragged into game for task reasons when thats not the point of the game!#unfortunately ffx1v was one of those games for me#so i didnt see the point of paying monthly you know#honestly if it wasnt subscription based id probably play more but id like touch the game once or twice a week to make progress#or play with friends#since i wasnt really getting pulled into the world#then for time princess its become more about doing dailies and collecting stuff#my otome gachas i still have...i dont even read the stories anymore i just log in to complete dailies so i can collect cards#tw/st im there for the story but it still falls into me mainly logging in everyday to complete tasks and lvl up cards#since im not always in the mood for reading the story#i think with nikki im gonna have to definitely let myself not log in EVERYDAY to do dallies#once the initial exitement goes away#i should just play when the mood strikes so it doesnt become another game i log in to everyday for those dailies#im not too worried about it because like i said im not desperately trying to get through the story and collect stuff#and im fine getting whatever clothes i happen to get while playing#but still that daily stuff can become tedious and is part of the reason i dropped d33pspace even though i liked it#if ur not careful before u know it a game becomes a chore#and fomo has an easier time setting in#infinity nikki
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wizardsix · 2 months ago
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it sucks when bad games exist bc usually they'll actually have good foundations for interesting characters/lore but it just. doesn't go anywhere. and it's incredibly frustrating every time. idk what it's gonna take for writers to take their work seriously but I am just so incredibly tired of mediocre writing.
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sea-buns · 6 months ago
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it just set in for me that i start community college this upcoming monday literally less than a week from now and i want. to throw up
#its a combo of omg holy shit my life is progressing im healing im reforming into a human being im a real boy#and ✨academic trauma✨ reflecting on my life now vs the last 6 years and the last time i was in school#and im not handling it well. maybe i am a little cuz so far i have held back the tears but i dont think thats an acceptable bar#the tears are certainly there. and i most certainly feel like losing the little ive eaten today#ive also started seriously considering if it would be more or less strategic to skip cr today in favor of playing smth with a friend#i was like dang its important to take the time when we're both free#but also cr uploads on mondays and ive reignited my interest in watching live and i dont trust myself to fight the vod impulse on that day#i want things to be different and i want to do good and i want to feel all the progress ive made in action#so if she is available today im gonna be honest and say sorry i cant play this thing we were both excited about bc ive got a 4 hour#nerd show tonight. and im gonna feel really shitty about it.#feels shitty and stupid to choose a piece of media thatll always be there over quality friend time#but i know if i dont get this shit thats always gonna be there over with NOW itll be really hard to put off later#hhhhhhh#im a mess dude ima finish the video i was watching before i started having a crisis and then im gonna take a bath#and then maybe stardew valley. it is the game for when life is falling apart and i just deep cleaned my desk itll be so nice
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bangcakes · 11 months ago
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#so like is the rest of my life just gonna be Yearning from now on NZNXNXJXNXMX#ok maybe not the rest of it. but the forseeable future. god how do ppl do this. how have ppl BEEN doing this.#ignorance is truly bliss like. i talk to my friends about him n they dont like fully understand bc theyve never liked someone so mucg#its just so embarassing to talk about n i just BDNDJDJNDJD#i just !!!! always imagined myself single. and would Say Stuff about not wanting anything like that but now im a big clown JDJDJDJJDDJ#BUT HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW ITD BE LIKE THIS. GOD#im also like. trying to talk myself out of it. like oh maybe its all in my head JDJDJDJDJDN#but like just too much has happened. idk. im just........ im feeling impatient 😭😭😭😭#but like. its progressed well so far with me just progressing things when they feel Right. hhhhh god#and like things wouldnt have progressed this far without him liking me at least a little????#idk !!!!!!!!!!!! this stuff is so hard. and like i cant even see him now without making plans hhhhhhhhhhh#it was so much easier before we graduated NDJDJDJDJDMMFMD#ah well..... soon i guess. soon#itd be really nice tho if he like asked me out. but i have a feeling that maybe im not being obvious to him?? maybe i gotta spell it out idk#he also said (in ref to a job offer tho) that he wouldnt take it unless it was for sure#and i have a feeling......... that maybe hes not sure ????????? god idk#rip to my simple life. guess i gotta wait til i see him again hhhhhhh#personal
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oozeandgoo-art · 1 year ago
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I'm working on one of those little title card things to stick at the top of my pinned post. No idea when the hell I'll finish this.
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eta: style referenced from this post by @peachmarch3 and this post by @carnivamp... which i didn't realize until about three quarters of the way through drawing myself in was probably a format they made up and not, like, just a thing that every artist in a specific corner of the internet was doing. i really do like the idea of having it all together in a nice looking format though, and mine's chaosneon enough to be distinct, i think... regardless I'm just gonna cross my fingers they don't see it and get mad LOL
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cacturne · 1 year ago
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act 3 kind of sucks to go through so far i just want to start another character again..
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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*walks in covered in blood* i finished first penguin. i reaaaaally really loved it oh my goddd all these peepaws being so dramatic and sulking wow grow up.. IWASAKI WAHHHH she was so cool and so awesome and so smart and she helped so much oh my god and she problem solved and and and WAHHHHH i think my fave parts were when she got Very Loud i kept saying damn girl at my screen each time she put her foot down UGH and the conflicts and the solutions and the AUUGHHHHHH. anyways loved it why am i sobbing over the ending though.
BRO MFINISHED IT HELLO ??? ?? IM S GLAD YOU FINISHED IT- AND SO QUICK JESUS CHRIST--
BUT YEAAAASSSSSS YES I LOVE IWASAKI THIS AN IWASAKI STAN CLUB !!!!! i LOVE LOVE LOVE how patient and fair she generally is but she also doesn't allow people to do whatever they want. BUUUTT I ALSO LOVE how on top of correcting people in that passive-aggressive way, she isn't afraid to get ABSOLUTELY irate and really let someone have it- IT'S JUST SO GOOD and i NEVER really see it with lady protags so i was a HUUGE fan whenever it happened
ENDING WAS SO TWISTED THO MAAADDDD UNFAIR TO IWASAKI (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)(;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) like i GUESS she did was she was paid to do in the end but..... THATS HER FAM CMON NOW (;´༎ຶx༎ຶ`)
i fuckin. LOVE the fishermen they deadass collectively share exactly ONE (1) brain cell and it's frustrating sometimes but it's also the stupidest and cutest thing i ever seen (╯▽╰ ) THE BIT IN LIKE- EP 3 I THINK WHERE THEY'RE ALL CHASING AFTER IWASAKI TO APOLOGIZE ALWAYS MAKES ME GIGGLE THO i think of it far too often for my own good its so cute... like Goddamn They Really Are A Batch Of Penguins...
#snap chats#THEY'RE SO SILLYYYYYYY //rips my hair out and eats my fingers//#THE CONFLICTS AND RESOLUTIONS WERE SO SATISFYING THO RIGHT ??? LKE UGH THINGS JUST FELL INTO PLACE SO NICELY#i really love how there's SUCH pushback against iwasaki in the beginning tho LIKE GOOD. THATS WHAT I EXPECT !!!#it really does feel as though she earned her progress and that's what makes her victories soo satisfying#because the show really does not waste a moment to demonstrate how hard she's working despite her circumstances#and ofc with that in mind it does make you want to strangle the fishermen at first because its like YOOU. MOTHERFUCKERS#but with the drama's theme being about The First Penguin it also does a good job to remind you they're not only uneducated in all this#but they're also incredibly scared to try and do somethin new- and we know old people cmon they're stubborn as rocks#which is what makes it sweet when they DO start to come around- even if hiro flip flops like a fish out of water for FUCKS SAKE--#hiro's funny as hell for that im not gonna even lie. again his flip-flopping is frustrating but Again 2x i understand his fears#JUST AAAGGGHH I CAN TALK ABOUT FIRST PENGUIN FOR HOURS ITS JUST SO GOOD......#AND LEST I FORGET THE UTTER BAGNER THAT IS ITS CREDITS THEME FUCK#WITH ALL THAT SAIDJVLKAJVK thank you for taking the time to watch it !!! im real glad to hear you enjoyed it as much as i did (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)#gigglnig and kicking my feet thinking of first penguin now i should rewatch it again (╯▽╰ )
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diabeticdelight · 3 months ago
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#Had a suicide attempt last month#Think my 3rd in 3 years#But im finally getting medicated with things that help#I came really really close this time#But it feels like im making real progress this time#I got time off to rest and recuperate#I just want to stay on a good path with this#Im anxious about being back at work but I try to remind myself there's nothing I cannot do#I'm making a little extra money doing nails for people. That feels really good to create beauty for people they can take with them#I've never felt like I could have an artistic career before but it feels really doable now#I think im finally healing from my lowest back in 2020/2021 and making progress unlike my other attempts at therapy/medication#It did really take almost dying to get better and for my family to take my mental health seriously#I wish I could reach out and talk to you sometimes. But I think its for the best that I don't#I'm learning there are just some people who are okay to love from afar and no closer#Idk if it'll ever really heal totally even if it was nearly abusive at the end and definitely manipulative#But I don't feel torn in half anymore#Or like I deserved the punishment and ridicule#Or earned the disrespect#I will not ever let myself feel like that again#And I'm finally learning what that feels like with my new meds- finally have a life vest in a sea of depression#From a lifetime of fucked stuff#Things are still hard dont get me wrong#But its nice to see a light for the first time#Also prozac fucking sucks im so glad it works for some people but I am loving lexapro and am glad to be rid of the fucking brain zaps#ok to like
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phagodyke · 3 months ago
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venting sorry... don't want to just delete it bc it helps to get it out just ignore this post pls 👍
haven't slept much at all and feeling so sick andstressed and in pain bc my period is due and so tired its making me dizzy but i cant sleep more or ill just feel more sick and I want a hug and to cry so hard into someones shoulder but no one cares or will even come near me it makes me feel diseased they think things about me that aren't true bc I struggle so much to communicate and thry all make assumptions insteqd and no one wants to give me space to talk to them about it so I cant undo that now and its all my fault and I'm so. exhausted :-(
#going to try and stay awake until lunch at least and yhen maybe ill take a nap. but i need to be able to sleep rpoperly tonight#at least i know im only feeling depressed bc my period is due which means my meds dont work how they should#like its kind of weird n psychologically interesting to feel so depressed again suddenly bc i havent been at all lately#well theres not much i can do abt feeling sick and in pain but ill take it easy. wasnt planning on leaving the house today anyway#and i do need to find a way to talk to ppl abt shit im struggling to communicate bc it really does bother me. and i dont want to do this#im tired of keeping everything in and wound so tightly i just want to feel seen and safe around someone please. please 🥹#its all well n good getting along with people better than i rver havebut if they still wont support me when im going through it#then it fades into shallowness like our friendship still has value. but im unable to feel close to them or safe around them#and right now im glad im doing so well im glad of so manynthings but its so scary to know that if i start doing bad again there is#noone and nothing there to catch me i dont have anything in the way of a safety net just myself. so better not fall 👍#and irs been makinf me feel so horrible lately bc my mum has been trying to emotionally drpend on me again and its making me feel like#when i was a teenager again and i was fighting for my fucking life against what i didnt know was mental illness and i had no outlet and#nowhere to go and i wanted to die so badly and meanwhile everyone around me was completely unaware and making me handle all of their#emotional issues and i was trapped there absorbing everyone elses damage and not being able to express mine and thankfully i didnt kill#myself and i got out and ive gotten so much bettee and worse and better sinxe and how i feel now is nothing like that really but im just#being reminded of it a lot and how hard expressing myself is and sometimes it feels like ive made so little progress#in thetorture labyrinth out here. but i dont want to do this forever i need to get better at expressing i just need people to support me#but i feel unsupported its like thin ice. but its alsonmy fault for not trusting. i dontnknowwwww.#maybe when i dont have to pay for private meds anymore and when i get this raise at the end of the year ill try therapy again#i dont think itll solve the issue bc its the ppl i care abt in my life that i need to be able to talk to. but maybe i can get some#better tools to help me be able to do that. i dontnknow i dont want to think about it anymore actually im going to go do smth else#sorry for venting its been a really nice weekend genuinely feeljng so good in general atm. and yeah i still struggle with the same things#but generally ive been handling their effect on my mental health so much better!!!! like im still feeling okay regardless of them#but they are still there and i will need to go from tolerating them to dissolvjng them at some point if i want to feel okay long term#it doesnt have to be like this. and i do actually truly believe that for once which rly is a sign of how much prpgress ive made!!!!#working on my shit is a fucking lifelong project....as im sure it is for everyone else too. all of our first time on planet earth#we will get through yhis. and anyway how i feel now is super temporary jsut triggered by a few thingsand ill keep reacting to them this#way until i managr to properly resolve them properly instead of folding them nicely and tucking them out of view#bleugh. okay yeah thats enough for now. meds softening the edges too ive stopped crying which is smth#chilling for a bit n then im going to watch some tv or a movie and iron and polish my boots and after lunch i might draw. or not we'll see
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watch-out-it-bites · 10 months ago
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#don't let them see this!#I ACCIDENTLY SENT THIS TO THE WRONG CHAT WHEN SENDING IT TO MYSELF WHAT IF I SCREAMED#aaa...#i am. hurty and sad and agh.#i really dont want to be a bad person and i want to be good!!! however!! i feel like im just naturally going to be an awful awful bad#And I Really Hate That.#as much as i try i am just going to be This#im scared im not making progress#i think im going back#so much stuff is repeating and im becomign Awful Awful Terrible again and it is my fault#i really need to do better#but i am drawing right now#so i gues thats nice#i want to scream#i want to go away from this stuff!! i want to take a break because i feel so sick and awful but i already know its no use#and i cant even try because thats wasted time#i will try and itll make no progress so why even try at all#plus im being disgusting again and that Sucks. agh. today is just. not a good day.#i hate when it gets this way i hate everything i hate everything so much and i hate sounds and i hate being awful#i am trying very hard to not break any vows however i keep slipping up and now my sleep schedule is getting to be awful again and everything#everything terrible and i am crying and i hate this so much and i hate bodies and people and surroundings and realizations and thoughts#gah.#i hate having such strong emotions grrjfjjjgjfj#this is all my fault and im just trying to be a victim in my own messes which really sucks so i dont even have a genuine reason to be Sad#i hate being this way gahhhhhhhggjjfjfnfnnfnrnfndjfnxnmdndnsmsndjsjsjskdjsnjfjsjdnsns
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cowhound · 2 years ago
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its overshare friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! reached the point of the twlking stage where the emptional unavailability is beginning to impact my behaviors :3
mostly was just trying to lay pipe b4 getting back on campus to get practice in for Hypothetical Future Relationship teeebeehaych but now ive got emotions beyond that and i dont reaaallly wanna deal with that
and im too scared to do hookup apps for internet safety + transexual reasons lol
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houseofwolvess · 2 years ago
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it's official, im no longer allowed to have anything as my own unless i hide it deep within my room
#this is so fucking petty but im pissed#i bought five energy drinks yesterday only because it was 5 for $5. im broke as shit but i wanted to buy myself something as a treat.#i never buy myself anything anymore and i never really ask for anything either because my mom has to buy a fair bit for my friend#so this was the one and only treat ive allowed myself to get in a long while.#i drank one yesterday and put the rest in the fridge with a sticky note on them that had my name on it#and this morning i found my friend took from it without even asking. when they literally had my NAME on it and everything#im sorry. maybe id be fine with sharing if she had bothered to ask. but for the love of fucking god im pissed#she has a job!!! she has the money to buy herself nice shit!!!#i spent my last fucking $5 bill on this one fucking nice thing for myself after not buying myself anything for well over a month#and i can't even have that.#i took the rest up to my room and i gotta find somewhere to put them#i have snacks up here too because she tends to eat all my snacks before i even have the chance to try them so i have to hide them#ive struggled with some degree of hoarding tendencies for a while now and i thought i was getting better but over the past two months it -#- feels like all of my progress has been reverted#i know it's stupid to get worked up over fucking energy drinks. but its not even the drinks themselves that are the problem.#its just the fact that in my own home the only way im allowed to keep anything for myself is if i hoard it in my room and keep it hidden -#- because otherwise it'll be taken or used in some way#all without anyone even acknowledging me or the fact that these things are mine
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siliconforbrains · 1 year ago
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#real#he would die#but he’s in a time loop so it’s fine#teehee#isat
@veilord you raise me this, I raise you: but what if it wasn't?
What if the sickness progresses with Siffrin through the loops until it becomes too much and even a reset of the time loop isn't enough to erase the feeling of vines constricting his chest and lungs?
*Crashes through the door after rolling down three steep hills and almost getting run over twice*
Isafrin hanahaki AU. That's it that's the post
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