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#ive also started seriously considering if it would be more or less strategic to skip cr today in favor of playing smth with a friend
sea-buns
·
2 months
Text
it just set in for me that i start community college this upcoming monday literally less than a week from now and i want. to throw up
#its a combo of omg holy shit my life is progressing im healing im reforming into a human being im a real boy
#and ✨academic trauma✨ reflecting on my life now vs the last 6 years and the last time i was in school
#and im not handling it well. maybe i am a little cuz so far i have held back the tears but i dont think thats an acceptable bar
#the tears are certainly there. and i most certainly feel like losing the little ive eaten today
#ive also started seriously considering if it would be more or less strategic to skip cr today in favor of playing smth with a friend
#i was like dang its important to take the time when we're both free
#but also cr uploads on mondays and ive reignited my interest in watching live and i dont trust myself to fight the vod impulse on that day
#i want things to be different and i want to do good and i want to feel all the progress ive made in action
#so if she is available today im gonna be honest and say sorry i cant play this thing we were both excited about bc ive got a 4 hour
#nerd show tonight. and im gonna feel really shitty about it.
#feels shitty and stupid to choose a piece of media thatll always be there over quality friend time
#but i know if i dont get this shit thats always gonna be there over with NOW itll be really hard to put off later
#hhhhhhh
#im a mess dude ima finish the video i was watching before i started having a crisis and then im gonna take a bath
#and then maybe stardew valley. it is the game for when life is falling apart and i just deep cleaned my desk itll be so nice
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