#its not fair she has to be put with him also
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infinitelystrangemachinex · 24 hours ago
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Mel has magic armor and chose to save Jayce, but she's keeping it a secret from him
First frame of episode 1: something is glowing gold
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The camera is blurry because this is Jayce's POV and he's reeling from the explosion. The camera focuses enough to let us see Jayce's face. He's holding Mel. We see her gold pieces in the same location as the glowing gold parts in the previous frame.
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Jayce focuses. He clearly doesn't know how he ended up in this position. He blinks in confusion, then sees Mel.
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Mel's back is still to the window. Jinx's rocket literally was going to hit her directly in the back. Jayce is in the wrong place to have put his body between her and the rocket.
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We're made to think that Jayce, being a big strong guy, somehow protected Mel from the explosion. But there's nothing a human body can do against a whole entire rocket. How did Mel survive, but also, how did Jayce survive? His survivor's guilt torments him.
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Mel is sad for him and tells him simply that it's senseless that one person survives while another person dies or is injured. The quickest way out of needing to provide an explanation is to point out that no explanation is needed.
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Jayce probably thinks that he, like the audience is supposed to believe, had a hand in protecting Mel, because he doesn't wonder how Mel survived.
Mel's gold parts were glowing. It's definitely armor. And for SOME REASON, she's not telling Jayce. And I really want to know what that reason is. And I would also really like to know how Mel feels about having had the power to choose one person to save, because I can think of one feeling that's worse than survivor's guilt.
One final piece of proof:
In the Council scene in episode 1, there's a fair amount of emphasis placed on the stone floor, which is mostly destroyed and riddled with cracks. This is to emphasize Salo's wheelchair as well as Piltover and its Council literally crumbling under their feet. However:
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In the lower right corner, we see a PERFECT CIRCLE of untouched stone. Even that part of the Council table is intact. Everything else is cracked or destroyed or covered in ash. But not the spot where Mel and Jayce were. Also recall that Fortiche has said that a perfect circle represents the Arcane.
We get a glimpse of it again in episode 3:
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The floor is cracked everywhere except in the lower right.
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ashlynniis-bracketeers · 2 days ago
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Y'know, I find it really interesting (and hilarious) that somebody can Corrode into something that looks even freakier (or at least weirder) than the E.G.O's source Abnormality. I have to wonder if they could freak/weird-out their matching Abnormalities lmao.
Putting a bunch of text under the cut.
Using the E.G.Os/Abnos in the images as examples:
The Rose Hunter is at least arsed to look vaguely like a normal dude 90% of the time (discounting his thorny stem/root lower half as seen in the E.G.O splash art background for Hong Lu's version of Lasso). Corroded Lasso Faust is similar. Corroded Lasso Hong Lu, however, is basically a rose with two long stems tied into lassos and his "lower body" connected directly to the horse, with only part of his ponytail left. Not even getting into the fact that both his "torso" and the horse's abdomen are "bleeding" rose petals and the fact that the horse's rein is tied around Hong Lu's neck akin to a noose. He actually reminds me a bit of a Nuckelavee with the really long arms and being directly connected to the horse.
The Heavenly Executioner's Scribe is a pretty simple statue-looking thing. Meur's Corrosion is a bit funky with the little hands on his wings, his floating hands, and funky mask... But his Corrosion is nothing compared to whatever the hell Corroded Pursuance Rodion has going on lmao. She's got chains and she seems to have eyes on her eyes. Eyes for days.
Der Fluchschütze is a variant of Der Freischütz but red, basically. Pretty simple design, nothing fancy. Both of the Fell Bullet Corrosions are pretty goddamn weird compared to Der Fluchschütze's design, with Heathcliff's version turning him into a giant heart filled with guns while Yi Sang's version turns him into a sentient reflection stuck in a jury-rigged mirror+gun setup, but Yi Sang's version of Fell Bullet isn't in the game yet, so we do not have the sprite, so I just put Heathcliff's Fell Bullet Corrosion there. To be fair, it deserves to be here. Der Fluchschütze would definitely be confused as to how it could cause... that.
The Dreaming Electric Sheep is... Well, it's a sheep alright. With really long, clawed legs and a bunch of spikes sticking out of its wool, but it's a sheep alright. Meur Corrodes into this E.G.O hard. Compared to Don's Corrosion, he goes full Sheep. Which just makes me wonder why he's got that weird Demogorgon-looking meat-flower-flap face in his attack, while the Dreaming Electric Sheep's version of the "Electric Screaming" attack does not have that. Sheep Meur, y u have weird meat flower face. His head is also inside the wool 90% of the time for some reason...
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jjmaybankssurfergf · 2 days ago
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It wasn’t Rudy or Madison. It was his gf that had a problem and has apparently caused scenes on set and made people uncomfortable because SHE is uncomfortable. To be fair it would probably suck having your bf being shopped with another girl constantly but to cause problems in his acting career is the bigger problem because this will follow him to every job he where he has a love interest. Rudy and Madison follow each other on socials. Elaine and Madison don’t but Elaine follows all the other cast members.
Look anon we can talk but if your gonna start stuff take off anon, first off madison bailey is a bully. She really is and when jj died she showed her true colors. Her acting sucks, her attitude sucks, her movie sucks, and her whole personality sucks. Sorry but its true, the reason why i didnt throw in elaine is because thats a whole other story, if want clarification on that just ask and i will gladly give it to you or anyone. Mariah is a jerk too sorry but thats true she was the one who started the unfollowing social media bullshit. Yes his gf played a part in the drama but you cant also say madison and mariah are innocent, because there not. Madison bullied rudy behind set, and he was super uncomfortable and upset. He was being hurt to the point where hes like "Ok this is going way to far". Madison bailey is what you would call a mean highschool girl bully, because thats the person she is. The reason why no one noticed it is because of her body and looks, which is soooo true. Just because rudy follows her on social media does not mean anything, he just doing it so he doesnt get hate and constant dms of fans giving him shit about it. Im not saying Elaine is innocent but shes not the only drama queen, there are two others who like to start shit too. And how are you going to tell me it will follow him in every job when he literally had a play call Romeo and Juliet where he had to kiss and hug another women for a month straight every night? See how that doesnt make sense which now it concludes to bailey being unprofessional and a major bitch. You can believe its all elaine fault, but its not just her its madison bailey and mariah no one ever caught onto it until now, when rudy is officially done with outer banks and jj is dead. The reason why people caught onto it so late is because they were just focused on rudy and jj in the show and now because hes gone theyre focusing on madison and putting the puzzle pieces together and what really happened. Like i always say karmas a bitch it was coming for her either way and it bit her in the ass. Im not afan of what she did and rudy didnt deserve the hate and the constant pettiness from her, or her girlfriend but what can i say that just another self centered bitch for you 🤷🏼‍♀️
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sky4cherry · 2 days ago
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hi #1 bob sheldon defender
can you pretty please elaborate on what you think bob’s relationships with the other socs are ?
ok sooo sorry this took me so long but i am so incredibly ill and my brain is not doing its job 🙂‍↔️
putting this under ‘read more’ because this turned out long
bob and paul: they’re obviously really close!! i hc them both as being only children, which bob feels kinda different for since he’s grown up with chet and brill who both have 2 siblings each, and trip who has a brother. they definitely view each other as brothers, hence why paul was quite as fucked up as he was when bob died (also like to be fair he did watch it happen so there’s that too)
bob and cherry: guys they are so important to me,,, girlboss gf and girlfailure bf… obviously they are head over heels for each other, and cherry’s the only one bob is really vulnerable around, which makes it all that much harder when he’s been drinking. they both want to help each other get through the bad times, but they both know that it’s inevitable that bob’s going to get caught up in the social divide :( they are so important to me :( bob who doesn’t know how to comfort cherry about her parents arguing but really wants to try
bob and marcia: the idea of bob being very wary around marcia because he’s scared she’ll spread slander about him is so funny to me because she is only 3 apples tall!! you’re telling me you’re scared of her when she’s 3 apples tall and riddled with anxiety?? they’re close because they’re the two who are closest with cherry, so they spend a lot of time together, but bro is quaking in his boots because he’s so scared she’ll put the embarrassing shit she knows about him to use
bob and trip: dyslexic bob sheldon who claims he just ‘doesn’t get it’ when he struggles with homework, and trip who helps him out without making any jokes at bob’s expense. trip (in my head) presents as quite stoic on the outside even though he’s secretly silly, while bob is more outwardly silly, so they balance each other out. trip who knows the best out of all the guys that the fighting is worthless, but knows exactly why bob does it. and bob who knows trip doesn’t fully support the fighting, but encourages him to join in so trip can control something. they’re not the absolute closest of the bunch, but they are very important to me!!
bob and chet: bob sheldon who wreaks havoc on his parents to try and get them to parent him better, but he takes things far more seriously when chet is the one being ignored by his parents. bob who doesn’t let chet go a night sleeping at his own home unless it’s by choice, so he always fixes up the couch for him in case chet lets himself in while bob’s asleep. they’re close. they’re so similar in the way they’re treated by their families, and how they choose to cope with that treatment. i don’t think i can actually put into words how important they are to meee!!!
bob and bev: oh you thought he was scared of marcia? beverly jitney-bush is no man’s peace. they’re close in the way they argue a ton but it doesn’t change their dynamic at all! with bev constantly at brill’s, and brill living 2 doors down from bob, they spend a lot of time together! bob’s probably the most headstrong guy, while bev’s the most headstrong girl, so they’re both close and at constant odds with each other. i think they argue because they’re similar, but they know they understand each other well enough to know when they’re going too far.
bob and brill: childhood best friends type shit!! they’ve known each other since they were little kids, and brill’s always balanced bob out really well. when bob’s letting his emotions guide him, brill’s there to help him regulate himself. they’re pretty big opposites from each other, but it’s something that really comes in handy when one gets in a situation he’s not exactly equipped for, because the other will always come to his aid. all the more tragic considering bob and brill make direct eye contact when bob gets stabbed
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gayspock · 2 years ago
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see the thing is, battlestar galactica, i will never care about kara and lee....
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theladyfae · 2 months ago
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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mariatesstruther · 4 months ago
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thinking abt the maria’s outbreak night. having many thoughts
#imagine her and her dad and kevin and his daddy were all together#maria and jack are fighting and maybe separating at this point#her dad is visiting them because its his birthday tomorrow#yes its rhe same birthday as you know who#her and jack end up going upstairs to argue when she gets home because hes been home alone with kevin and her dad all day by himSELF#when this was supposed to be a FAMILY day maria#and you leave me here with your fucking dad who hates me#he doesnt hate you#he hates me and you know it! and you leave me here with kevin who you NEVER see#dont. thats not fair#of COURSE its fair. look at today! where were you today?#maria was at work#because of course she was at work#shes always working because she has to be to financially prepare for raising a son#(and raising a son through a divorce. because she needs to get a fucking divorce.)#also there was a work emergency#(theres always a work emergency)#so she had to be gone most of the day and then in her way back the roads were CHAOS#she barely got home alive#i barely got home alive jack!#you ALWAYS barely get home#anyway they fight and then the world blows up and at some point they disagree on what to do#maria has a basement with enough food to last about three days for three people and an emergency go bag full of baby food#because of course she does#so at some point they have to decide between staying holed up there and waiting shit out#or going out and meeting with the soldiers who are going around blaring an evacuation notice#hank her dad is like Nope Do Not Trust the Government#and maria is like True#jack disagrees#he goes off on maria when she tells him they have to put it up to a vote
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helloiamacashier · 3 months ago
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It's a travesty that I can't reblog gifsets of books.
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bibleofficial · 4 months ago
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i dream of being able to go get a couples massage but instead of w the love of my life it’s w my colon & she finally gets what the FUCK has been WRONG w her WORKED out 😭🙄
#stream#GET A GRIP#I HATE BEING ALIVE#i need to make a new tag where it’s literally just posts of my pussy causing my suffering#shitter nation#that’s it#that’s the one#swag#i say swag so innocuously that my chinese flatmate will just say it too & it makes me laugh like u know when someone has like an affirmation#& start saying it it’s that except i feel bad kind of bc the way i use it is literally butchering the word#me sitting on the bus & it stops: swag#it’s just so fucking funny ALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLAKALAKSLA like I CANT HELP IT IM CONSTANTLY SAYING IT MY BROTHER GOT ME STARTED DOING IT LIKE#THIS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#anyway#my family got hit by the hurricane yesterday & thank fucking GOD that PINE FELL IN THE OPPOSITE DIECTION bc YALL#literally it would’ve taken out the bedrooms#like the whole root system has TIPPED#but do we know why ? YES WE FUCKING DO & ITS BC FATHER KEPT CUTTING DOWN ALL THE BRANCHES bc ‘it’ll damage the roof!’ which i mean in this#case … FAIR …. BUT ALSO IN THIS CASE IT WAS SOOO TOP HEAVY#i mean like they always made ME afraid bc u can see them sway but i just thought ‘like a sailboat u need a mountain of a wave to tip’ &#hurricanes ? are the mountain … BUT SHE LASTED DURING ALL THE OTHERS#LITERALLY ALL OF THE OTHERS like this tree is older than the house & the house is OLD [FOR AMERICA] it was built in the late 70s/early 80s#like she took HARVEY & IKE FINE#which i was there during but i worry abt them bc of the lack of cell service wifi & power but i know its over so its just clean up now#sucks to be my brother bc my father sent pics of him w an axe having to cut the tipped tree from the road lmfao#wait why is he using an axe we literally have a chainsaw#probably bc the tree’s wet & it’ll fuck up the chain & it has to be out of the road bc that’s where it landed btw lmfao it was house or road#& it’s in the road thank FUCK - NO DAMAGE TO ANY CARS literally we were sooooooo LUCKY#ANYWAY i’m only on a few hours of sleep & tired & my knee kills bc it actually got damaged during the omar assault so ive a new knee brace#swag … :( im just so tired. i’m so over constantly feeling like im being watched 24/7 it has genueinly put so much stress on me
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logansdoll · 3 months ago
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thinking about logan x reader who’s literally the most introverted but bluntest person he’s ever met. that meet-cute (if it could be called that…?) would be entertaining as hell
cottontail
wolverines are known to prey on rabbits... which would explain why Logan was looking at you like that.
CW: fluffy fluff, heavily suggestive, profanity, i kinda changed it up a bit, takes place after X-Men (2000), reader is a bit of a personality, reader also has a bunny mutation, again kinda iffy on how this turned out, etc. (@OstarwomenO for the inspiration)
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"And, finally, the gym," Ororo finished, motioning toward the door. "Much like the Danger Room, we use it to train or spar, but strictly without powers."
Logan cocked a brow, ears perking at the faint sound of music coming from the other side of the door, along with the rhythmic thuds of limbs slamming against a mat.
'Huh...'
Ororo insisted on giving him the official tour of the mansion now that he was back from his trip to Alkali, seeing as she never got the chance to when he first arrived.
And, of course—Logan being Logan—he waved her off, insisting he'd be able to figure it out.
But the woman did not take no for an answer.
"Someone in there?" he asked, shifting his cigar to the side of his mouth as his thumb jutted toward the door.
"Just (y/n)," she shrugged, an amused smile rising her to lips. "It's actually kinda ironic, she rolled in about an hour before you did yesterday."
That was the new smell he picked up on.
It was the same one the hallway was currently drowning in—not that he was complaining.
It was sweet and musky, with faint, floral notes and a smidgen bit of earth—like taking a breath of fresh air in the middle of a meadow.
"And I didn't run into her?" Logan raised a brow, feigning indifference.
Ororo let out a dry chuckle, as if she was in on a joke he wasn't, "(y/n)'s a... character. She kinda does her own thing around here."
Character?
Forget indifference, the man was intrigued.
"I can introduce you if you'd like," she nodded, her eyes widening slightly, remembering something. "Fair warning, she says whatever she wants. So just... don't be shocked when she says something appalling. She's a sweetheart once you get to know her."
'Jesus...'
She made it sound like he was about to meet some sort of feral grizzly bear.
Logan shrugged, and she let out a sigh, pressing the keypad and opening up the door to reveal you.
Grizzly?
No.
Feral?
Entirely possible.
With a wide grin, you weaved around, dodging jabs from the automated dummy before back-flipping onto the wall and pushing off like a spring.
Tackling the robot, you slammed its head into the ground, winding for a second blow when it suddenly bucked you off.
You recovered quickly, shifting in mid-air so you landed on your feet, before launching another attack.
Jumping high, you landed right on the dummy's shoulders, locking your thighs around its neck before effortlessly throwing around your body weight, sending it crashing to the ground
But that wasn't it.
With a soft grunt, and a small twist of your legs, you popped its head right off in a flourish of sparks and circuits—the action sending a warm tingle through Logan's stomach.
'Damn...'
You pulled yourself up off the ground with a laugh, grabbing the robot's body and tossing it in a pile in the corner—which consisted of at least twenty others.
"Finally," you sighed, jokingly, as the two entered further.
You sauntered over to your boombox and cut the music, dusting off your hands.
"This is a disgrace. How the hell are the kids supposed to learn from these things, 'Roro? They barely last two minutes."
She playfully rolled her eyes, fighting off her smile as she pulled you into a hug, "I hope you know you're paying for those."
You chuckled, giving her a loving pat on the back, "Put 'em on my tab."
Logan was still transfixed.
In all his years, he had never seen a mutant like you before.
(h/l), (h/c) hair, plump lips, heavenly curves, made evident by your workout clothes, or slight lack thereof, stark white bunny ears, equally white tail, paired with alluring (e/c) eyes.
You were dripping in beauty and confidence.
Logan, so mesmerized, didn't even realize that you'd already cruised your way over, and were now standing directly in front him.
"I take it you're Logan," you smiled, shamelessly staring at him. "If I knew you were this handsome, I woulda introduced myself sooner."
"(n/n)," Ororo scolded, pinching the bridge of her nose.
'Here we go...'
"Is that so?" Logan smirked, amused by your blunt start to the conversation.
"Hell yeah," you nodded, shifting you weight on your hips
You weren't stupid.
You saw the way he was staring at you, and you heard the way his heart frenzied when you walked over.
So what's to say you couldn't have a little fun?
After all, it wasn't every day you'd meet someone as sexy as Mr. Tall, Dark, and Brooding.
"Of course, I could always do that over a few rounds."
His brow quirked with interest, eyes slowly flitting over your body at the proposition.
"On the mat, that is..." you chuckled, reading him loud and clear as you turned to walk toward the sparring area, stretching out your arms.
"That works, too," he grinned, tugging off his leather jacket.
"You two are doing this? Really?" Ororo groaned, resting a hand on her hip.
"Yup."
"She asked for it."
Ororo sighed, deciding to check herself out for the day and head for the door.
"Y'know what? Knock yourselves out. I'm gonna take a nap," she waved, turning the corner. "Don't break anything."
Logan scoffed, cracking his neck as he stepped onto his side of the circle, "No promises..."
You grinned, pleasantly surprised by his seriousness.
Many assume that because of your mutation, you're just some helpless little rabbit—as kids, you and Scott got into a huge argument when you caught him pulling his punches.
But Logan seemed ready to throw down, a fact that not only excited you, but made the man move up a great many rungs in your respect ladder.
"You sure you want this?" you smirked, lowering yourself into a split, stretching your legs. "I don't go easy."
'Goddamn, how flexible is she—'
"Neither do I," he snapped himself back, playing it off with a chuckle. "Let's see how long you last."
You scoffed, tongue in cheek as you stood up, shifting into a defensive stance.
'I'm gonna kick your ass, mutton chops."
"I'd like to see ya try, cottontail."
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english-history-trip · 1 year ago
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Ever see a depiction of St. George and the Dragon? It's pretty fair to say if you've seen one, you've seen them all: Georgie on a horse stabbing a flailing dragon creature, princess piously kneeling in the background, vague landscape alluding to the homeland of the artist's patron.
The most varied part is the dragons. No one had a real definition for the thing, it seemed. For your pleasure and entertainment, I have ranked some medieval depictions based on how impressive George's feat seems once you see the dragon.
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Paolo Uccello, 1456
This is a terrifying beast. The hell is that. Uccello was one of the first experimenters with perspective, so the thing also looks surreal, like it's taking place on Mars, or a Windows 95 screensaver. I would not want to fight that, I would not want to be tied to that. (Sometimes the princess is tied to the dragon for some reason.) 10/10
Horse thoughts: Maybe if I look at the ground it will be gone when I look up
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Unknown artist, c. 1505
This is a rare change of form for the dragon; it's the only one I've seen actually flying (or at least falling with style). It doesn't look particularly deterred by the spear through its throat, either. Also, George looks appropriately nervous. On the other hand, it hasn't got teeth, it seems to be fuzzy rather than having scaly armor, and George is bolstered by his army of Henry VII and his children, most of whom definitely didn't actually die in infancy. Still, wouldn't want to fight it, wouldn't want my pet sheep near it. (Sometimes the princess has a pet sheep for some reason.) 9/10
Horse thoughts: I am so glad I wore my mightiest feather helmet for this
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Raphael, 1505
We are coming to Dragons With Problems. This guy looks about comparable in size to George, and does have wings, but doesn't seem to be using these things to his advantage (and has he only got one wing?) And how does he deal with the neck? He does have a comically small head, but holding it up with such a twisty neck seems complicated at best. But most egregiously, he is doing the shitty superheroine pose where he is somehow simultaneously showcasing his chest and his butt, with its unnecessarily defined butthole (more on this later) (regrettably). 8/10 bc it's Raphael
Horse thoughts: AM I THE BESTEST BOI? AM I DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB? WE R DRAGON SLAYING BUDDIEZ
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The Beauchamp Hours, c. 1401
We had a spirited debate about this one at work. Again, the dragon has gotten smaller, and this one hasn't got even one wing. He's basically a crocodile. So the debate became: would you want to fight a crocodile if you had a horse and a pointy stick? Would the horse trample the animal, who can't get on its hind legs, or freak out and throw its rider? Would the pointy stick be enough to pierce the croc's thick hide? In this case, George seems to be controlling his horse and putting his pointy stick in the dragon's weak spot, so we can be impressed by his skill and strategy. However, his hat is dumb. 7/10
Horse thoughts: Dehhhh
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Book of Hours, c. 1480
Here we have the same kind of croco-dragon, but George's focus on his strategy has gone out the window. He's flailing around, not even looking at his target, he's about to lose his pointy stick, he hasn't got a hand on the reins, and his sword seems to only be poking the invisible dragon over his shoulder. All he's got going for him is that his hat is slightly less dumb. 6/10
Horse thoughts: Yay, new friend! Come play with me, new fr- what is happening
Final dragons put behind this Read More for your safety:
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Rogier van der Weyden, c. 1432
I'm thinking this guy is at least semi-aquatic. Webbed feet, wings that seem more like fins, bipedal but top-heavy, jaws that seem more for scooping than biting. Maybe she's crawled up here from the nearby body of water to lay her eggs, and this is all a big misunderstanding. Moreover, George's dagged sleeves seem entirely impractical for the situation. 5/10
Horse thoughts: i got my hed stuk in a jar and now it is this way forever
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Unknown artist, c. 15th century
I hate this. I hate everything about it. Why has it got human eyes and teeth. Why is its nose melting. Why has it got a dick on its face and balls under its chin. The fin/wings are back but they look even more useless. Also, George is shifty as hell, schlumped over in his saddle with his bowler hat thing over his eyes. The baby dragon at the bottom eating some hapless would-be rescuer is kind of metal. 4/10 at least the thing is gonna die
Horse thoughts: I Have Smoked So Much Crack
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Book of Hours, c. 1450
Remember what I said about the buttholes? First, sorry. Second, yeah, we're back to that. I'll admit this one is less about the danger from the dragon itself than the very specific choices the artist has made. They didn't need to do that. It's a lizard. They don't even have. And it's like they had an orifice budget and they skipped an exit wound for the spear to focus. Elsewhere. It's so detailed. And George had an even dumber hat. 2/10 take it away
Horse thoughts: I Have Smoked So Much Weed
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Book of Hours, c. 1415
This is just bullying. There isn't even a princess. That is clearly an infant. Look at that smug look on George's face as he swings his sword that's bigger than the whole little guy. This is the equivalent of when DJT Jr. hunted those sleeping endangered sheep. 1/10
Horse thoughts: ....yikes
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And this is the previous one, but now the baby dragon is cute. He's chubby. He's got toe beans. He's Puff the Magic Dragon. His eyes have already gone white, implying that George is just kicking its corpse around for funsies. What's the difference between the dragon and the lamb in the background? That the dragon is dead, like our innocence. This George is truly deserving of the dumbest hat of all. 0/10 plus one more butthole for the road
Horse thoughts: Perhaps it is we who are the buttholes.
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ellecdc · 7 months ago
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Poly moonwater or marauders (up to you! I can see both being cute, though marauders would be interesting since theyre all gryffindors) x a partner who thinks snakes are the cutest, and has a really big python of her own? And she often takes it on “walks” (walking outside while the snake is lounging on her arms to get some sun) or chills in her room with the snake just resting on or beneath her robes (calmer snakes in my experience love to slither up sleeves and wrap around abdomens and collars)? My snake loves doing that, and sometimes it gives people a fright haha. My snake is quite large, but just the cutest and most curious thing, she’s helped many of my friends get over a minor phobia before. She also contracts her muscles (not enough to hurt) when wrapped around a hand, which feels like a little hug. LOL sorry for rambling, I love my sweet baby (5 foot long apex predator) so much. Bonus points if reader is very sweet and smiley, just the last person you’d expect to have a big “scary” snake.
this was such a cute and funny request. and, funnily enough, almost immediately after I received it I started seeing this creator with her snake on TikTok and was like "this is perfect!!!"
poly!marauders x whimsical!reader who apparently has a pet snake that her boyfriends didn't know about
CW: fem!reader, reader has hair she can put up in a bun, best friend Barty being a fucking menace, snakes?
Remus let out a breath of relief when he finally made out your form sitting contently under a tree on the castle grounds with your face shoved in a book.
He couldn’t help but worry about you a little bit; he worried about James and Sirius too, mind you, but something about you struck him as a little too pure, a little too lovely to be navigating this scary world on your own.
He knew you could, he just didn’t think you should have to.
It appeared Sirius and James were just as grateful at locating you when Sirius took off in a run to join your little makeshift picnic.
Remus almost felt bad for the interruption of what was likely a very peaceful sanctuary you had built for yourself. But knowing you, you’d be just as happy to have them join you.
Your smile at Sirius’ form as he made it to your blanket let Remus know he was quite right in his prediction.
“Hi Siri!” You greeted tranquilly, causing James to let out a small breath of awe as he all but dragged Remus the rest of the way over to you. 
“Hey Angel!” James called to you as Remus offered you an apologetic smile turned grimace. 
“Do you mind if we join you?” Remus had the grace to ask.
“Of course not; I’d love it if you did.” You responded quickly, shifting over to make room for them all on your blanket.
“Of course you’d be so gracious; our sweet girl.” Sirius cooed at you, but as he went to pull you towards him by your shoulders, he let out an embarrassing shriek as he launched himself away from you. 
“Godric’s saggy balls, Pads; what is the problem?” James asked bemusedly as he took over Sirius’ now vacated spot beside you.
“She’s got a sodding snake in her hair!” Sirius screeched as he pointed at you.
James’ head whipped back towards you to see that, sure enough, there was a medium sized snake seemingly almost curled up in your messy bun.
“Don’t move, Angel.” James said seriously as he stood carefully and brandished his wand. “I’ll get it off of you.”
“Oh, there’s no need, James. She’s very docile.” You said simply as if you hadn’t just scared the living daylights out of your boyfriends.
“Docile!?” Sirius bellowed at the same time as James questioned “she?” 
Remus smirked at his boyfriends’ theatrics, though felt momentarily ashamed he hadn’t realised you owned a snake, or…had a snake friend.
“Is she your pet, dove?” He asked finally, fighting the urge to grimace as the snake curled further around your bun and moved its head to sit at your temple. 
“Yes; her name is Tinkerbell.”
“Tinkerbell?!” James and Sirius chorused.
Remus chuckled at the boys letting their Pureblood show. “Like the fairy from Peter Pan?”
He was rewarded with a pleased smile as you moved your eyes back towards him. “Exactly.”
“How long have you been living with a snake?” Sirius asked severely, causing Remus to nudge him with his knee warningly.
“Barty got her for me for my birthday.” You responded simply.
“You’ve had that thing for months?” James asked, finally earning a swat from Remus.
“She’s not a thing, Jamie.” You gently chided, offering the snake your finger who wrapped her head around it reminding Remus of a cat rubbing up against their owner's leg. “I’m surprised you haven’t seen her before; she’s almost always with me.”
Sirius just let out another horrified squawk as Remus fought the urge to let out a full body shiver.
“You carry… Tinkerbell around with you often?” He queried carefully.
You hummed in acknowledgement as your hand fell back to your book. “She usually wraps around my elbow under my robes, but lately she’s enjoyed nesting in my hair. I think maybe now that it’s getting warmer, she likes to sit in the sun.”
“We really need to talk to Junior about gifting our Angel with dangerous animals.” James muttered quietly to Remus and Sirius as your attention turned towards the devil your best friend himself.
“Hi Treasure! Hi Tink!” Barty called you you; his voice raising an octave when greeting your reptilian friend.
Remus winced when he noticed a slightly larger snake hung casually over Juniors shoulders that seemed to be considering the group as they approached.
“Introducing your sweet girl to the boys?” He asked as he sat beside you on the blanket; speaking about your three boyfriends as if they weren’t there.
“Yes. I don’t think it’s gone particularly well, admittedly.” You responded serenely, reaching out to gently boop Barty’s snake’s nose with your finger. 
“It’s going fine.” Sirius argued; never willing to show signs of weakness in front of a Slytherin. 
Unfortunately for Sirius, Barty seemed to call his bluff. “You’re not afraid of a little old snake, are you Black?”
Sirius scoffed derisively. “I go to school with enough of them, don’t I?”
“Okay, why don’t you pet Mr. Smee here then?” Barty taunted, holding out his large reptilian friend to Sirius. “He won’t bite.” He promised with a Cheshire cat smile.
Sirius looked at Barty sceptically before his eyes nervously darted towards you. 
“Mr. Smee is very friendly, Siri.” You encouraged.
Sirius tried to smile at you before he returned his stormy eyes to Barty. “I don’t make it a habit of petting slimy animals, Junior.”
Barty scoffed as he rolled his eyes. “He’s not slimy, Black; he’s scaley.”
Seemingly pacified, Sirius reached out a cautious hand towards Mr. Smee.
Sirius made a garbled heaving sound as he slowly pulled his hand away from the snake's body where strings of slime connected his fingers to the reptile.
“He is slimy!”
“That’s because I soaked him in slime!” Barty cackled. “You’re so easy, Black. Gods, I should spend more time with the lot of you; this was fun.”
And with that, Barty stood from the blanket, kissed Tinkerbell on the head and then pressed one to your head as well before he skipped off.
“He’s a real menace.” James grumbled as Sirius transfigured a piece of paper into a paper towel and wiped at the slime on his fingers.
“I thought that was very brave of you, Sirius.” You praised him, and almost all of the contempt colouring Sirius’ face faded away as he looked at you lovingly.
“Thanks dolly.”
Thankfully, Tinkerbell remained content in your hair, and the boys remained content pretending there wasn’t a snake on their girlfriend’s head for the rest of the afternoon.
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pinkie-quinns · 25 days ago
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(posting some old twitter threads here for posterity's sake)
Chrissy and Eddie breakup. She's a lesbian, apparently. Has finally come to terms with it. It's half a decade of Eddie's life in the dust. He... he doesn't exactly handle it well.
But Steve's there for him, offers Eddie a shoulder to cry on.
They’re drunk when Eddie says no one’s ever been in love with him. Not really. So Steve kisses him.
But Eddie’s straight.
He always has been.
He freaks the fuck out. Bolts. Lets the calls go to voicemail. He’d lost his partner and one of his best friends in the span of a week and it’s not fair and he’s pissed off beyond belief at Steve for doing it. 
But he’s also confused. And he also can’t stop thinking about it. 
He stews on it for weeks. Avoids mutual friends like the plague. The band lets people know he’s alive, apparently. Between losing Chrissy and Steve, he feels like there are chunks of him missing. So he gets drunk. Hooks up with blondes who kiss him all wrong. 
He’s five whiskeys deep and when he finds himself banging at Steve’s door. Steve answers with his hair mussed and his voice sleep-rough. And Eddie tells him he’s really fucking pissed at him. And Steve apologizes again. And it should be enough but it’s just fucking not. 
So Steve apologizes again and again and again, all blubbery and guilt-ridden. It's only making Eddie more angry. And he doesn’t know why. And he’s too drunk for this shit.
So he shoves Steve against the door and kisses him stupid. 
He wakes up in his own bed the next morning and he's sure he dreamt it. (He’s been dreaming it a lot lately.) But his lips are all stubble-scrapped and his mouth is cotton but he remembers how his friend's tongue tasted and he just.. Wants to cry.
Cause he’s not gay. He’s not. Other people are. Most of his friends are. And he’s fine with that! He’s been a good ally.
Well, maybe not to Chrissy. But only cause it broke his goddamn heart. Only cause he loved her so much. Only cause he'd never felt that way about anyone before or anyone since.
Except well— Fuck. Shit fucking fuck.
So he calls her. He’s kind of hoping it’ll ring through but she picks up straight away, lets out a soft little hey. And it breaks his heart all over again to hear her voice. But he takes a breath and says, “I kissed Steve.”
And she pauses. “You kissed Steve?"
And then he says, “Well, he kissed me first. But yeah. I got drunk. Jeez Chris, I got wasted. And then I— yeah, I kissed him.”
And she's quiet for a long time, just soft breathing and static. Then she says, “Thank you for telling me, Eddie.”
And oh. That’s what it was, wasn’t it?
So they talk about it. All of it. And he really listens to her this time. He couldn’t the last time, couldn’t hear over the sound of his heart fuckin’ shattering. Then he’s the one blubbering apologies cause his girl was going through all this shit totally alone and he is now way too familiar with how bad it sucks.
And then they talk about It. The big It. All the stuff her mama drilled into her brain since she was in diapers. All the names that got spat at him between hall shoves. Shit they couldn’t be 'cause then they’d be wrong, shit they couldn’t be 'cause then they’d be right. 
And when they’re done and the conversation turns into How’s the band? and Is Marcel still driving you crazy? Eddie feels ten pounds lighter, almost whole again. Like he was but better, all glued together in gold. Well, almost altogether.
He really needs to talk to Steve. 
He knocks on his door again that night. This time not at 1 AM, this time sober and remarkably dehydrated.
And Steve answers. This time put together, this time hair done and voice in its day pitch (Eddie kinda misses the sleep rasp). And he looks.. fuck. He looks perfect, doesn’t he?
Eddie’s spent all day mulling this conversation over. But standing here now he’s coming up blank. He mutters, “I- I was an asshole.”
Steve opens his mouth but Eddie just trucks on.
“–you were an asshole too, man. But me, uh, probably more?” 
And he ignores the way his stupid traitor eyes start to water, always do when the moment feels too big. “–Sorry about that. Sorry that I freaked, sorry that I was pissed at you for the shit I was just pissed at myself for. Sorry for, uh. Yelling at you. Sorry, um. Yeah. Sorry for kissing you. That definitely wasn’t cool. It’s been uh... a confusing month. Shit. I’m so sorry Steve.”
Steve just leans against the door. Normally he wore everything on his face. Couldn't win Texas Hold 'Em to save his life. Not now though. Now it feels like Steve could have a sleeve full of aces and Eddie wouldn’t know a thing.
But then he says “Eddie” so quiet it sounds like he hadn't even meant to. Like it just slipped onto his tongue.
Eddie can’t do anything but blink, “Yeah?”
“Let me um-” Steve swallows, “Let me get this straight. Where’d you land?”
God, this shit was humiliating, “Not that. Straight. Not straight.”
“Ok. Cool.”
“Yup.”
“And me–” Steve scratches at the back of his neck, “where did you land on me?”
Eddie feels like he’s gonna explode. But he can’t bolt. Not again. Even though every bone in his body wants to. So he plants his feet, coughs, “Well, I pretty much assaulted you, didn’t I?”
Steve rolls his eyes, snarks a laugh. “Sure. Yeah. I’ve been totally gone on you since, I dunno, forever. You were straight. You were basically married to your high school sweetheart. All it took was one of those things no longer being true for me to totally nosedive. But sure, you threw yourself at me.”
This was. It was a lot. 
“Steve–”
Steve waves a hand, stops him. “‘No one’s ever been in love with you. Not really.’ That’s what you said, dude. Meanwhile, shit, cards on the table here? Every relationship I’ve had in the last five years has been a pointless attempt to get over you. So yeah, it was weird to hear, Eddie.” 
Steve won’t look him in the eye. His neck is craned towards the ceiling.
Eddie whistles through his teeth, “Maybe, uh… maybe give me a bit more time?”
“Oh.” Steve finally glances up. His poker face is all gone. He looks like a kicked puppy. “Yeah, yeah, of course.”
“I’ll probably just need a week or two? I mean, fuck man, that’s a whole other, like Phylum of pornography I’ve been missing out on for the last 25 years. I gotta get myself acquainted before I can, you know–” He reaches out, rubs at Steve’s bicep with a wink, “Get myself Acquainted.”
Steve’s whole body is shaking. Eddie can feel the relief flitting out of him. “Jesus Christ, Munson.”
“Then I’ll take you out, Harrington! Show you the town.”
“Dude, will your dick even work at that point?”
“On the first date?” Eddie gasps, “Lord Harrington, how improper!”
Steve just shrugs, “Rules are different for guys.”
“What? Wait seven years and then hope you land a sexuality crisis?” Then Eddie’s leaning in, closing the space between them. Trying to ignore the pounding in his chest, thinks maybe he's never been so terrified. 
Steve smiles into the kiss. “Yeah, Munson. It's something like that.” 
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rafesbangs · 5 days ago
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౨ৎ ˖ ࣪⊹ rafe has always loved the way lace looks on berry!reader, so she surprises him with something he'll really enjoy.
warnings: MDNI ! 18+ ! dom!rafe (duh), oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, use of the nicknames 'baby' and 'rafey', teasing, and strong language.
a/n: this marks the beginning of the berry!reader fics! yay! insp by this p!link actuallyyyy +++ i was listening to gibson girl by ethel cain and i definitely think that's the vibe of this oneshot pretty much summed up. berry!reader definitely put it on sometime during the 'surprise' ;)
cameron development had recently under gone a lot of changes upon rafe becoming a more prominent figure than his father, taking over his duties didn't prove to be easy though.
he'd been spending a lot of time in meetings, on job sites, riffling through real estate paperwork and what not. you hadn't really seen him in days but in all fairness, its not like you weren't busy either.
busy shopping around that is, rafe didn't mind how much you spent and you knew that but you had an idea. he's been working so hard recently and you've been out spending all his money, why not give him a fun surprise.
it was pretty late at night, rafe had endured a meeting that lasted several hours too long and he was dying to see you at this point. thankfully it would be the last of the painfully long meetings for a while.
you were busy up in his room, prancing around in this new deep red lacey lingerie set. complete with mesh lace trim hosiery and garters. you'd decked the room out in a few candles you could find and sprayed yourself with your perfume that also happened to be rafe's favourite on you (he always swore you put pheromones into it).
the front door of tanneyhill slammed shut downstairs, you could hear rafe's loud sigh and you wanted nothing more than to run down the stairs and greet him but you knew for the surprise to be good, you had to stay where you were.
he started calling for you, walking around all over downstairs waiting to see you turn around a corner to say hi, but nothing. when he wasn't getting the hint you finally leant over and grabbed your phone.
posing yourself on your side you quickly snapped a pic of you only your lips biting your finger and everything below until your waist showing. you knew that would get him to finally come upstairs.
you could hear the ding of his phone getting your photo on messages, "baby?" he mumbled, obviously he hadn't opened it yet but when he did you could also hear a drawn out groan and his footsteps heavily coming up the stairs.
"jesus girl, what're you doing to me-" he sighed, finally pushing the door opening and stopping at the sight of you, lying there on his bed with candles illuminating his bedroom.
"holy fuck," his jaw was practically on the floor and you swore you could see drool beginning to drip from his mouth.
you smiled, "hi rafey." and he just about lost his mind.
he threw his blazer off and slammed the door shut, locking it. next to go was his tie which he ripped from his neck and his shoes were flung off somewhere in the room, all while he was holding eye contact with you. he just couldn't look away.
"all f'me, fuck.." he breathed, now kneeling on the bed right in front of you. you looked up at him, seductively, purposefully. your eyes were absolutely screaming fuck me rafe cameron. and all he could do was oblige.
he tore his belt off and began unbuttoning his shirt but couldn't just not touch you for any longer. he reached out and grabbed one of your tits, groaning as he felt the soft lace fabric around your boob.
"are you surprised?" you said sweetly, smiling at him and now sitting up on your knees. he opened his mouth as if to say something but couldn't quite get the words out, so he just nodded, but then immediately connected his mouth to your tit.
you groaned at the sudden feeling and caught his other hand palming himself through his pants.
"rafey... rafe- let me put it in my mouth" you drawled, in that sweet tone you use when you want something. he sat up, leaving only his hand still around your tit but his mouth was again open in awe, "okay... fuck, you're so sexy when you do all this f'me, i'm so fuckin' lucky."
your fingers worked to get rafe out of his work pants and boxers, pulling them down your eyes widened as his length sprang up against his stomach. he watched your reaction with a grin and unbuttoned the remainder of his shirt. you drank up the view of your chiseled boyfriend tearing his tailored long sleeve shirt off his chest, it wasn't your fault he was so sexy. the prominent v-line and huge biceps never fail to make your legs weak, every damn time.
you grinned and gestured for rafe to lay back, so you could easily put his cock in your watering mouth. he obliged happily and smirked as you leant down, arching your ass up as you put one hand under his thigh for support and with the other hand began rubbing the mushroom tip of his huge cock.
rafe was never shy about making sound with you, nor were you with him. he grunted and swore under his breath, tilting his head back every so often as you worked your magic. "got the things you do to me" he sighed deeply as you once again took his entire length in your mouth, nose hitting his pelvis as your eyes roll back.
rafe started bucking his hips a little, practically begging for release. you grinned at him mischievously and connected your lips to his tip again. you stroked the rest of his length, his eyebrows knitting together as his jaw went slack, he tried and failed to stifle a loud moan.
"you're unreal- ah fuck... 'm gonna cum- baby..." he groaned before his cock twitched in your hand and lips, you continued to swirl your tongue around and suck his tip when thick ropes of cum began spilling out. rafe was a groaning mess as you lapped up all the cum spilling out and all over your hand.
finally you placed a sloppy kiss on the tip of his cock and smiled over at him as you sat up again. without a word he got up and grabbed the nape of your neck, taking you down backwards against his bed, roughly and sloppily kissing you.
he now had one hand sliding down your body slowly, gently, you knew he was teasing you, "ugh, rafe.. stop it, stop teasing-" you managed to choke out through his lips. he chuckled against yours, ignoring your request when he finally lifted his lips from yours.
"you're so fuckin' hot.." he mumbled, noses touching and his hand kept sliding down your torso, getting closer to your dripping pussy. "did this all f'me?"
"yeah.." you breathed, your legs squeezing together and your eyes begging for him to just touch you already. you felt butterflies in your stomach, fluttering around on fire. he smirked and moved his face closer, close enough that when he spoke his lips would brush yours, "yeah?"
when rafe pulled up the waistband of your panties you let a gasp out, your eyes wide, staring into his. he slowly slid his hand down into the fabric, still smirking against your lips. he took no time in sliding his fingers over your sopping wet pussy.
"fuck baby, you this wet from sucking my cock?" he teased, sliding a finger into your begging hole. you gasped at the sudden feeling of his long finger and he mirrored your reaction before pressing his mouth against yours, finger still pumping in and out of you.
he took no time in picking up the pace, you were a moaning mess and he adored the way you were digging your nails into the bicep of the hand that was down your panties. he slipped another finger in, the sloppy sound of your pussy was making him rock hard, and you could feel it, only make you more and more wet.
you were gasping for air, trying to hold off finishing on his fingers, "rafey..." you pulled his lips off of yours to grasp his attention, "rafey.. i need you inside me" you finally breathed. as you finished the sentence, you could feel his cock harden and twitch against you.
"do you now.." he said lowly, cockiness was dripping in his tone but you didn't care, you loved making him feel good because damn was he good at making you unravel. you nodded desperately which only made him groan in satisfaction, "the things you to do me y/n"
he licked his lips before tearing your panties down, taking the garters with, you didn't even care if he'd shredded any of it, he'd buy you as many more pairs as you wanted. you reached for the mesh lace trim hosiery but rafe's hand quickly caught yours, you looked at him questionably before he opened his mouth.
"no baby those stay on," he breathed deeply looking down, "your legs look so sexy with that red lace." you just grinned at his approval because of course you were right, he absolutely adores the lingerie.
lastly, he grabs your tits, peppering kisses all over them on top of the lacey bralette you still had on. he gently slid his hands under you to unhook the bra, all while his mouth was still connected to your chest. he slid the bra off and grinned from ear to ear, mouth diving in to put rough kisses all over your boobs again.
you ran your hand though his messy hair as he now travelled up your chest to your neck and your lips, passionately laying kisses on you. you had both arms wrapped around his neck when you felt his huge tip sliding up and down your wet slit.
"you want me inside baby?" he whispered deeply, breath hot against the shell of your ear. you breathed in deeply and nodded, looking down at the way his cock was resting on top of your stomach, it went all the way up to the top of your belly button. "i need words.. cmon baby, you want my cock inside your wet pussy, hm?"
"yes.. god, please rafe." you gasped, now looking him in the eyes. he smirked before leaning back a little and without warning, he slid his entire length into you, all the way to the hilt. you screamed his name and dug your nails into his shoulder blades roughly.
he groaned as he very slowly pumped his length in you, "just rafe's fine baby, this may feel heavenly but i'm no god" he chuckled deeply, grunting through his words. he couldn't believe how tight you felt, but how easily his dick slid into your pussy because of just how wet you were for him.
the pain turned into pure pleasure as he picked up the pace. the head of his cock kissing your cervix while you couldn’t form a single thought, you just felt so full. rafe was determined to make you reach your peak, the twitching of your thighs and the way your moans were getting louder indicated you were getting closer and closer to coming soon.
the way you clamped around his cock made his eyebrows stitch together in pure pleasure. you felt so fucking tight, he nearly lost it when you whimpered in his ear, "rafey, cum inside me, please baby.."
he met your eyes with a grin and launched his lips onto yours, practically eating your face. he was so hungry for your lips as his cock began to twitch inside you, indicating he was about to spill into you at any second.
"if you're sure baby" he breathed between kisses. he continued snapping his hips against yours, even speeding up as he got closer and closer. you moaned, loud, "yes! fuck- rafe, cum inside me, i need you to fill me up."
he buried his face in the crook of your neck and released a guttural groan as hot thick ropes of cum filled your insides. you came undone around his cock, clenching and unclenching as he filled you up, breathless.
both of your movements had come to a stop as he lay there on top of you, his back rising and falling rapidly. "fucking hell y/n.." he breathed, "you're the prettiest thing i've ever seen."
you smiled at his sweaty grin, leaning in and kissing him softly, "i love you rafe."
he kissed you back before kissing your forehead, "i love you too baby."
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thevoidstaredback · 7 months ago
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Saturday's at Wayne Manor are family days. The whole weekend is reserved for the family to come and go as they please, but the biggest events are the Game Days on Saturday from 11:00 to 16:00 and Sunday Dinner at 18:00.
Every Saturday is a Game Day, but the third Saturday of each month is Competition Day. The kids all choose their favorite games, and everyone competes against each other. It's very rarely missed by anyone, but there have been times when someone has had to tap out for one reason or another. Alfred keeps track of who's missed how many days. Barbra keeps the tally of who's won what and how many times. At the end of the year, on December 31st, the scores are announced.
Sunday Dinners are sacred. No one ever misses a Sunday Dinner. The last person who did Jason is still getting subtle jabs and looks from everyone and that was a year ago and he had a very good reason, thank you very much! Everyone is always present for Sunday Dinner because everyone still has a room and the option to stay the night between the two days. Most usually take up the offer, but there have been extenuating circumstances that have pulled someone from the Manor.
No matter any of that because everyone is here and everyone is staying the night. That means everyone is patrolling Gotham tonight. Almost everyone. Batwoman has offered to take over Bludhaven for the night, so that's where she's gone.
Bruce plans to present his idea of messing with his coworkers when everyone gets back to the cave after patrol. All his kids know who they all are, having been trained by him, so there's no risk or accidental reveals on his part. In actuality, the kids thought of it like a game. They even had a folder for it on the Bat Computer and everything!
Yes, that night, after everyone returned to the Bat Cave, he would gather his Chaos Gremlins and invite them to mess with the Justice League with him. He'd also try and get Alfred in on it. Family bonding, and all that.
Though, making his kids sweat was its own form of amusement for him. It was 3:00 when everyone finally returned. They all ran their own routes, watched over by Oracle, and their own times, but everyone was always done no later than 3:00. It was a rule that the Gotham Rouges had yet to pick up on because Batman went back out until dawn more often than not.
Anyway, Bruce has been the first to get back and had put on an act of being upset. He usually kept his Batman persona with his suit, so he was rarely ever this stoic while he was Bruce Wayne. He hid his smirk as he sat at the head of the meeting table in the Cave, waiting for his children to change and sit with him. Duke normally was asleep by now, but he'd asked the boy to be there, letting him in on the harmless prank while they waited for his siblings and Stephanie to arrive.
Once everyone was seated, he waited a total of thirty seconds, meeting eyes with every one of his children, before he spoke. "I'm very disappointed."
Dick's eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He'd known Bruce the longest - aside from Alfred - and had likely picked up on something the second he saw Bruce and Duke at the table. "At who?"
"The Justice League," It was amusing to watch the tension melt off of all of them when he shook his head, "We all know who all of them are, as well as everyone who trained under them, but they don't know who we are."
"Except Wonder Woman," Jason pointed out, "She figured me out when I came back."
Fair, Bruce supposed. Jason was always Diana's favorite. "I think they need some help," he said, "A push in the right direction, so to speak."
Stephanie had a smile on her face that promised mischief. "We're not telling them, right? 'Cause that'd be no fun."
"Course not!" Duke yawned, "B said we'd give them a hint."
"What did you have in mind, father?" Damian asked, stoic as always, but matching the gleam in Cass's eyes.
"We invite them to the Bat Cave," he said, "Show them around a bit. The only exits we tell them about, though, should be the Lane," How the ground vehicles get in and out. "-the Zeta Tubes," Obviously. "-and the elevator. But, we don't tell them what's upstairs."
Alfred seemed very amused from where he had taken his seat at the other end of the table.
"From there," Bruce continued, "We invite their civilian identities to the next Gala. Meet them. Hint about the Cave without actually saying anything. If I know Clark as well as I know I do, then he'll, at the very least, piece together that the Bat Cave is under Wayne Manor."
"And if we play it right?" Dick's grin was manic, "They won't connect who we are."
"Won't that be suspicious, though?" Tim spoke up for the first time, "They may not have put things together yet, but they aren't stupid. They're heroes. If we give them the pieces, they're gonna piece them together."
Damian was the one to answer him. "Batman and Bruce Wayne hate one another, though there is a grudging acknowledgement and respect."
"Give them the right pieces, with a few from the wrong puzzle, in the wrong order, we could totally have them fooled!" Jason explained.
The group shared looks between each other. Nothing needed to be said because the looks and movements said everything.
Alfred smiled and shook his head fondly. "You may plan this in the morning. For now, go to bed and get some sleep."
Part 1 Part 3
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Khichdi ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺
Summary: y/n wants to surprise lando, but her health has other plans for her.
⇗ ln x desi!reader ₊˚ෆ
⇗ fluff + sickfic ₊˚ෆ
masterlist ☾☼
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y/n had been the first woman that lando felt like he was truly ready to risk it all for. he was never a person who could date someone who lived on a separate continent, but somehow, with y/n, he wanted to make it work. after almost a year of long distance, and only meeting on some weekends or holidays, y/n had decided to surprise him by visiting him in monaco. lando had felt happier than he had in a while, and as soon as he saw y/n standing at his door with her suitcase, he had wasted no time gathering y/n in his arms and twirling her around, whispering just how grateful he was that she was there. 
unfortunately, y/n had a habit of always falling sick for at least a day or two after travelling big distances. as much as she had hoped that the flight from india to monaco wouldn’t lead to her falling sick, her prayers had not been heard. the very night that she had landed in monaco, she could feel a fever coming in. as desperate as she was to ignore it, lando wouldn’t let her, and forced her into bed. 
she had slept the entire night, and then, had slept through breakfast. finally, at lunch time, lando shook her awake and asked her if she wanted to eat something. sleepily, y/n mumbled, “khichdi,” 
lando was confused. he had no idea what khichdi was. but, he also did not want to trouble y/n any further. whispering an “okay”, he left the room and headed towards his kitchen, where he was already FaceTiming y/n’s mum. 
lando had met y/n’s mum multiple times through video calls, and the first time he had visited y/n in india was also the first time he had met y/n’s mum. it had been far too early in the relationship to be meeting each other’s parents, but somehow, it had felt right. so, y/n and lando never questioned it. 
“hi, lando,” y/n’s mum’s voice rang through the house, and he quickly put on his AirPods. setting his phone against a kitchen appliance, he took a step back and looked almost scared. 
“what’s wrong?” she asked. 
“um, y/n’s sick. has a fever. she’s been sleeping for almost 14 hours now.” he said.
“oh no,” 
lando nodded, “yeah. but, also, i asked her what she wanted for lunch, because i know she hates soup and i can’t figure out what she would want to eat right now. and, she said something called khich- khichdi?” 
y/n’s mum nodded, “khichdi, yeah. its basically rice and lentils cooked together.” 
“right. i don’t know how to make it, so i was hoping that you could teach me?” lando almost seemed shy in his request. 
y/n’s mum smiled brightly, and began guiding him through the steps. lando had a fair collection of indian spices or as y/n called them ‘masalas’. y/n had stocked his house with all kinds of appliances, food, everything that she would need or she has in india. lando never questioned it, because it just seemed easier to already have all those things for when y/n would eventually move in with him. 
lando was scared out of his mind for most of the part. pressure cookers were loud, and honestly, a little violent in his opinion. he didn’t understand how his girlfriend cooked most of her food in such a violent and scary appliance. every time the cooker went off, lando resisted the urge to hide behind the island. he didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of her mother just yet. he could do that after he had married y/n. then, y/n’s mother won’t be allowed to have a problem with him. 
after the terrifying process of making khichdi was done, lando bid y/n’s mum goodbye, and quickly scooped a decent amount of rice from the pressure cooker and into a bowl. putting it on a tray along with a glass of water and some meds, lando made his way to his bedroom. 
gently opening the door, he said, “y/n, come on, i made you lunch,” 
“five more minutes,” y/n said, as she turned and faced the other way. 
smiling at his girlfriend, lando set the tray on his bedside table, and sat down on the bed. he gently ran his fingers through her hair that had become wet from sweat. but that was good, because her fever was breaking. 
“come on, i made you khichdi,” he said. 
y/n’s eyes opened instantly. had she heard him correctly? she turned towards him slowly and stared up at his face. “you did what?” 
“i made you khichdi. you said you wanted that, so i made it.” 
y/n immediately sat up, and lando propped up pillows behind her so that she was comfortable. 
once she was settled, lando picked up the tray and settled it on her lap, making sure that it wouldn’t fall. all that while, y/n stared at him in wonderment. she looked down at the bowl, and there it was. khichdi. looking the same way as her mum’s khichdi. 
he offered her a spoon, and she took it gratefully. taking a bite of her khichdi, y/n’s heart was overflowing. it was the same as her mum’s. it tasted exactly the same, with just the right consistency and everything. 
“is it good?’ lando asked hesitantly. it was the first time he had cooked indian food. he didn’t want to get his girlfriend sick. or, more sick than she already was.
y/n looked at him with a smile, “it’s perfect. thank you. i don’t even remember saying that i wanted khichdi. how’d you make it?” 
lando smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “i- uh- called your mum. asked her how i could make it, and she taught me.” 
abandoning her bowl, y/n wrapped her arms around lando’s neck, hugging him tightly. lando reciprocated the hug. “i love you,” she whispered. 
“oh, baby, i love you too. are you okay?” he asked, worried that maybe he had crossed a line somehow. 
she sniffled and pulled back, “i’m okay. you’re just perfect, and i love you so much.” 
lando smiled at her, and pulled her against his chest. the two settled against the headboard, with y/n’s head on his chest as she slowly ate the khichdi. lando had pulled out his laptop and put on brooklyn nine nine for her. 
eventually, after she had finished eating, and he had forced the medicine down her throat, because she really did hate taking medicines, y/n had fallen asleep against his chest, wrapped in his arms, with his chin tucked over her head. lando had somehow never felt more at peace before. 
⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆
i hope you guys enjoyed this! ive had this idea stuck in my head for a while now. i'd gotten sick a couple weeks ago, and I thought of this and I was finally able to write it! i really hope all my desi girlies love this! i've also got a link for my taglist that you can find here!
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