#its me im talking about myself lmao
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pleaseshootthejester · 11 months ago
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Writing a resume when I have to will to live is such a bad idea lmao
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you know, as an asexual who still enjoys viewing sexual content in like books fanfiction and films and things, it's all fun and games until I remember that people actually DO THOSE THINGS?? LIKE IN REAL LIFE?? REGULARLY??🧍🏻‍♂️like WHAT DO YOU MEAN SEX ISNT A FANFICTION TROPE??? 😭 crazy out here man
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faunandfloraas · 2 months ago
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im so glad im not the only person that looks at seungmin and goes "❓tism❓" bc he is Way Too Relatable to me as a person w autism
yeah..... like I say it in jest but also..... well, yk. sometimes you notice something and you notice something and you notice something and you go Hmmmm
#enby-peep#lol its funny for me personally bc i see a lot of stuff that reminds me of my cousins daughter........ and shes autistic#but everyone in our family constantly and my cousin especially is like Shes you. You are her. Youre so alike.#So you were autistic and that explains your childhood#and i was like Um. I dont know :) i dont know........ i refused it and then i went to the psych for my adhd#he was like 🤨 can you fill out these sheets... and it was to see if i was hitting the markers#and i was hitting them. I was hitting them out the park but i also knew exactly what to answer... not to hear it#so i just answered it... incorrectly to myself. anyway that was 3 yrs ago and i still go ???? why did you lie ??? wtf#so. maybe my seungmin commentary is sometimes a commentary on myself also#but its the same reason being sent to therapy as a teenager didnt work on me bc i knew exactly what to say to be#told what i wanted to hear- youre a mature smart young woman- youre good. id just lie to hear that even if it wasnt actually helpful#and i succeeded. Im a great actress. i didnt want help i wanted to be perceived as normal and i was for a minute. incorrectly.#and probably negatively maybe if i didnt lie i'd be different now but I did and I did it again 3 yrs ago but..... I think ive finally left#idk. my weird obsession with being 'normal' behind- i dont follow the script as much as i did before and im much more honest about how i am#this is an insane set of tags LMAO#so sorry#i dont talk about this stuff often and its An Anniversary today i accidentally used this ask as an emotional dumping ground#some people have journals (seungmin) i have tags on a tumblr post#peace and love on planet earth
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becauseplot · 2 years ago
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Okay so something about the spiderbit wedding has been sitting in the back of my mind for awhile now and I don't know if anyone's talked about it but I just recently figured out the words to articulate it (kind of) so here we go!
Prior to the q!spiderbit wedding, a lot of the fanart/fanfics I saw/read depicted Cellbit waiting at the altar while Roier is walked down the aisle by either Foolish or Vegetta. Which makes sense! It keeps with the idea of the father "giving away" the bride (or in this case, the groom) at the wedding, which wouldn't be possible for Cellbit since he doesn't have any parental figures on the island. So, I was a little surprised when the wedding day came and Cellbit was the one to walk down the aisle while Roier waited at the altar. I was a bit disappointed at first---they missed a chance to do a sweet little spin on a wedding tradition! (Found family* my beloved <3)
But then I kept thinking---something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle. Something about Cellbit walking down the aisle to the altar where Roier, his soon-to-be husband and trusted confidant, stands; where Felps, his best friend whom he just got back from an unknown fate, stands; where Forever, the friend he wronged but never lost faith in and wants to do right by going forward, stands.
Something about Cellbit being alone and walking himself down the aisle towards them like he is making an active choice. After the fear and the isolation, pushing others away and hurting those close to him so he could make himself a martyr because he felt like he had to face the Federation alone and that he could only rely on himself---now choosing to walk towards the altar where they stand---walking towards his happy ending.
Because this is his happy ending. I'm not at all an advocate for the idea of "oh romance/marriage is the only thing that will make you happy in life" but not only is being married to Roier something Cellbit desperately wants, this wedding means so much more than just getting married.
Of course, this isn't really the end, but for someone like Cellbit, it's a start. A new beginning. A brand new chapter of love, friendship, and trust. So yes, Cellbit walks down the aisle at his wedding, and he does it alone, and he does it because he deserves it, and he does it because he wants to, and he does it because he has to, and he does it because he needs this.
*I would just like to note that found family does not have to follow a nuclear formula with parent-child roles and I don't wish to propagate this misconception. That's just how Roier's family is structured in canon. Foolish and Vegetta are boyfriends and Roier calls them (or at least Foolish) "dad" that's just how it is and it is beautiful &lt;3
Also apologies if I get any lore wrong. I'm not a Roier or Cellbit main viewer but I learn a lot through what I do watch of their streams and what I absorb through my dash. Hopefully this still makes sense.
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kawaii-kushami · 2 months ago
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having one of those mid-20s moments where you're like well damn. im really not a teenager anymore i dont hate myself anymore actually. like its insane
sorry i gotta ramble but this feels too silly to post anywhere else
#kk.txt#not snz#like for a while even the thought of like admitting i didn't hate myself felt like.. like i was being full of myself#idk what clicked in my brain a few years ago but it felt like i started to see myself more and like understand myself as a person#like i would a friend. and i just didn't think like that before i guess lmao#but like idk i dont talk about my personal life much but ive been recovering from post-pandemic agoraphobia#and i just went on my first big trip alone and im like. god its barely there anymore its just a little shadow in the corner of my mind#that only spreads occasionally now instead of overwhelming me#like im still terrible at a lot a lot a lot of social interaction type stuff but im like.. doing better than i thought id be able to#a few years ago. like idk im not good at.. change and especially conceptualizing myself as someone who can change and be fluid#like i really do think a majority of my person like my core morals and demeanor havent changed that much. and i like that#it makes me feel more secure to be that way#but at the same time its like my mental image isn't nearly as self hating as it used to be#like i used to picture myself as coming off basically the same way as that girl from watamote lmao like#ugly greasy awkward offputting weird#but now im like.. im just some guy... like yeah i have less experience putting effort into my appearance and i slouch and i have acne#but i am also capable of looking good occasionally. i dont need to do it all the time#ok i got off the bus and my train of thought died goodbye
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red-dyed-sarumane · 23 days ago
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what are your rankings for hiiragi magnetite songs? ^^
sorry i said this would take several hours and then spent several days on it i care too much.
im only listing songs they've posted themself bc i'll be honest they do a lot of comm songs & i've lost track of all of them & this would get just way too extensive if i did so
kyuuyaku hankagai - the definitive magu song to me its really got everything. its heavy its dramatic the weight of the scenario gets across in every part of the composition. the part at like 3:24 where the bell tolls & u can really feel that sense of time running out. how long and high the notes are just being the perfect representation of screaming out of stress and fear and panic. how the rute furute woa & nami no ne no motifs mix into it so so well. i could go on about this song forever not even exaggerating ive never loved a song more.
oumen mokushiroku - the atmosphere of this one is so pretty yet so intense. the slower very pretty sounds like ur in a cathedral vibe into undeniably more intense edm & the way the two are mixed flawlessly together i love it i love it i love it. the way it reflects her state of mind, the shock of realizing her times almost up at the beginning shown with nothing but the rain that gradually works its way into something heavier with all her pleas, the feeling of panic & desperation it gets across, everything building up until she finally lies to herself it'll be better for everyone & ending so quietly as theres nothing more to be done no way to change the outcome she has no choice but to accept its over for her. its so good both in and out of series context for real
kugutsu ashura - the thing that sells me on this is always the last lyric section theres just something so so emotional about it. and it feels like every motif in the series should be in there and yet no matter how hard i try to find it in either the vocals or just the instrumental they arent there. after the heavy whole rest of the song the part from the ugate iine sono rensa line is just so bright and decisive and has so so much in it it makes the whole song for me. also i have mad respect for making a whole song out of words that are so mildly different sounding from each other. and magu says theyre bad at words. whats all this then. amazing to me. 
kannagi - i swear this song is permanently stuck in my head the rhythm & the melody are just so easy to listen to. i'll be going about my day not listening to it & suddenly im tapping it out or singing it without thinking. the fact that not even the jpn fans were sure if it was a made of language or old time jpn. & i think the majority of it Was deciphered but theeres still some overlooked lines i dont have the time to figure out myself (old jpn into modern jpn into eng). but even then u can feel a sort of hopeful regret in all of it. that feeling of "i meant well but it still ended up like this". i adore this song i really do. 
yamete kudasai - I LOVE THIS SONG this character could be my best friend fr. following orders bc its what u think u should do only to realize too late ur not urself anymore and get mad & complain about it. i love her we're the same. also its just a really fun song rhythm wise. bu bu bubun bu bu bubun... i also adore when the train crossing bells are used in songs its like my favorite thing ever feels like home to me
kafu-eine - KAFEINE!!!!!!!! for a while before this i was thinking someone should make a kafu themed coffee song like kafu-ccino or something imagine how i felt when my favorite producer did it better than i could ever think of. also i have a spiritual attachment to this song bc yelling kafu with the whole rest of the club & magu themself was by far the best moment of my life
aru sekai shoushitsu - i have very strong opinions on this song everyone who says its too long are missing the point. yes its 11 minutes long. if u would pay attention for 2 minutes u would realize how intentional that is & that its SHOWING the very themes the song is describing. also even being 11 minutes long this is the easy song to listen to ive ever heard the rhythm of everything is just perfect it really doesnt feel like 11 minutes at worst it feels like a 4 minute song u dont remember putting on repeat. this song gives me a headache when i think too hard about bc its SO direct and to the point it leaves out context (thats what the other songs are for so its fine) that makes it impossible to understand on its own but u get the context from other songs & ur like oh damn it really meant that directly they really just told us that. flawless first song that continues to hold up with the rest of the series songs 10/10
marshall maximizer - can i be honest with u the piano chords in this song remind me of pokemon dppt's route 216 music (which i love). anyway i love this song i dont think its overrated at all i think its perfectly rated although i do think a lot of people dont really think about what its saying so much as its fun to listen to. we love sunk cost fallacy the song!!!!! tabete! sugu nete! ushi ni naru! okite! mata nete! hito de nashi?!!! u will always be famous to me. it has a sort of unaffected vibe compared to other series songs despite her very clearly being aware of whats happening & that interests me. also shout out to the mini novel in the middle just flat out telling us what happens when someones not a "person" anymore. although this character's indifference to it means it didnt really hit me until laboratory. 
red rose - idk compass at all but THIS SONG GOES SO HARDDD.  AKAKI HOLY RAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!! theres a feeling of strength in this song its like impossible for me to feel bad while listening to it. its just really good really solid. its also my friend who also a Huge magu fans favorite song so it get extra points. im in the process of making a rime cover of it btw if u didnt know. 
laboratory - ive never had a song tear me apart this badly before. its so heavy and direct it took me like a whole month or more to process it when i came out and even now if i start thinking about it too hard i feel a little sick to my stomach. its exactly what maximizer was describing but from the opposite perspective. she doesnt want to die. she would do anything to take a step back and have another chance. but she ignored all the warning signs & overlooked the details and now she's passed the point of no return and all she can do is watch it happen to herself. and the dubstep drops just add to the whole feeling of when ur panicking so hard everything feels like its spinning and unstable and theres nothing to hold onto. and this is also my favorite usage of rime ive ever heard shes SOOOOOO cute and smooth thank u magu for the food im begging u to use her again. 
rasshaina - its just a really fun halloween song. it think its really funny that they tried being scary & even wrote a mini novel in it about like copious amounts of blood filling a room and its STILL no where as terrifying as laboratory is. zero complaints on this song and the word play is really really fun. 
nadenna - super cute zirai song. i was so happy when this came out & i still love it. i dont have anything profound to say its just a fun song. 
antenna39 - THIS IS SUCH A FUN SONG IM SO HAPPY THEY GOT TO DO THE MAGIMIRA THEME THATS SUCH AN HONOR..... my vocaP doing such an influential song love that for them. i unfortunately missed the ticket window for magimira itself but it was super fun in the club & i like to listen to it on the train to events really gets me in a fun excited mood i love it a lot i get a little emotionally overwhelmed listening to it sometimes but like positive emotions so its fine. 
unplanned apoptosis - i have 2 opinions on this song and the first is i understand her entirely and shes so right to be Like That. the second is wow girl why are we acting like this it seems a bit over dramatic and nonsensical. shes such a brat she awful WHY are u so mean. but also shes got the whole world ending repeatedly & her closest friend(?) just died permanently possibly bc of her & she didn't even get a chance to say anything about it or to her so like yeah i get it she deserves a meltdown or too. but u just know shes also awful in general too look at how she talks come ON girl. i think about her constantly. the instrumental too just really embodies that panic and instability of a breakdown total whirlwind of a song i think its really well handled. the fact even some of the lyrics kind of switch tone from hiding/ignoring something to accidentally letting the truth through idk its a fascinating song. i get her im her #1 apologist. i would also trip her down the stairs given the first opportunity to do so. 
kanon - this song had me worried magu was going to do maximizer but different as their usual music but that didnt happen its fine like ah it was an intentional choice [saying this they tossed a large rock from behind their back] i always think im neutral on this one until i hear it and i absolutely lose my mind over it. daremo gisei ni nanka naranai sonna risou ni sugatteshimatta in particular drives me INSANE. like YEAH. YEAH that wouldve been nice wouldnt it. wouldnt it. i like how this girl also admits to lying like in a i just wanted them to listen to me way & now she regrets it deeply. its like a totally different regret from kannagi tho. very solid song. also like the little coded text in the bg implying(?stating?) the whole things their fault in the first place and now they cant fix what they started. 
saiken romanesque - i'll be honest i just like thinking about this as a ship song for the girlies. like yes both of the girlies Are this producer's ocs no this song is not actually about them even slightly. but im insane enough to make it work. one day i'll finish the coko (+kafu & rime) cover of this that i started like 2 years ago. 
shuuen touhikou - putting a series song this low feels wrong & my opinion of it HAS improved since realizing the rute furute woa motif is like. a thing. & is most of the instrumental in this song. sorry this is just the least impactful of the series songs to me. thats not saying much however i would defend this song with my life. the.  mikitte isso nigeteshimaetara has gotten me thru so much. sometimes u really do just have to say ashi wa mada & do things scared. if i put it on by choice im neutral about it if it comes on when im not expecting it i Lose My Mind i do love it a lot. 
realize - im still waiting for kohane solo vocals on this. im SOOOOOOOO happy magu got a comm song in proseka i was begging for shuuen touhikou or maximizer to get in for the longest time and then they said magu comm song for vbs and i was like YESSSS. its a really good fun song too. i want to ap master in proseka one day but my wrists have been too fucked to practice it 😔😔
perfection - i again have no familiarity with the source material here but the song is really solid. nice full sound with miku & the piano to give it a very pretty touch
tetoris - i dont know how this exploded i think kafu-eine is the better meme song BUT it is a really fun song. bouncy rhythm. te te te teto teto te te te tetoris!! very fun. theres actually a lot in it too if u care to look (i have not yet beyond what they explained themself). they said they were having a rough time & they only ended up finishing it bc of a friends tweet & it kinda shows its very much a depression song. thats a neutral statement not a complaint. 
uni - this ones cute. nice to have a rain theme magu song thats not a series song. just some cute gumiku. i started a kafu lapis cover of this and never got anywhere with it oops. it has a sort of sparkly feeling like sun bouncing off raindrops very fitting as expected of magu
retry - i actually DID read several chapters of the source material specifically bc of this song (it was not my thing) and its really neat to see magu doing time loops outside of aru sekai series . its such a similar theme but done so entirely differently & its really fun to see them handle it as such. going from series songs where the world is dying & everyone's right to exist as a person is on the line at the same time to this where its just a boy getting in situations & making it his problem to solve is like. refreshing in a way. 
fabric flower - this one as well idk the source material but the stories really clear from this song. this feels like an experimental type of song for them its so much lighter than just about everything else theyve done before or since. were it not for the magu signature piano & chord progression i would not recognize this as a magu song if i didnt already know. i actually do like how the story in it is told i think its a really good solid song but given the choice i usually listen to their other songs instead. 
im not including comm songs they havent posted themself but honorable mention to viper they wrote for kankan. AMAZING song its my fave comm song of theirs i think it'd be like 7.5 on this list i think. mugen kyoukaisou for araki also ranks high as does dimension for isekaijoucho. 
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oceanwithouthermoon · 7 months ago
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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lightbulb-warning · 6 months ago
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i used to freehand comics all the time as a child and since the part i liked was the drawing part i would just draw panel after panel because i didn't want to stop drawing to think about icky icky words, plus the story TOTALLY still made perfect sense! to me! and noone else, but 'whoooo caaaaares omgggg its not like comics and sequantial art are a communicative meeediummmm lmaoooooo'. i spent my entire childhood telling myself stuff like "oh pfft I know this story by heart- ill SIMPLY remember the dialogue and write it later" ...and. I can't help but admire baby maiora's (call that a minora ba tm tsk) fucking audacity? hubris? confident wrongness? kid couldn't even remember to finish the comics in the first place? INCREDIBLE levels of unearned self assurance, wish that were me, genuinely- what an icon!!! anyway i think i have forever cursed myself
#maiora garrulates#the maiora overthinks the process of writing dialogue saga continues!!!!!!!#im so tired. i have been overthinking this shit in circles i have not been making any progress in any which way lmao!#im bitching and moaning for funsies this is not that serious in the Grand Scheme Of Things i just wanna improve at my fav thing#and ❤️ Unfortunately ❤️ my favorite thing in the world involves learning MY MOST HATED *NEMESIS*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! verbal communication. ew#words are fun! i LOVE words! toys!!!!! im using words right now and i didn't combust!!!!! wow look at that!!!!!!!!!!!!!#putting words in SEQUENCE? multiple times?? filtering THOUGHTS into SENTENCES???? sentences that a character would or wouldn't SAY???#AND THEN THERE'S ANOTHER CHARACTER SOMETIMES???? AND THAT BITCH ALSO HAS THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS????? AND THEY ALL HAVE PERSONAL IDIOLECTS#AND TONES THAT S U P P O S E D L Y ARE IMPLICATED BY MANNERISMS AND VERBAL HABITS AND CIRCUMSTANCES (AND THERE'S WRONG ANSWERS! ALSO!!)#AND THEY'RE IN A CONTEXT!! AND THEY'RE INTERACTING WITH EACH OTHER AND INFLUENCING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THE CONVERSATION COULD VARY GIVEN ENERGY LEVELS WHETER OR NOT SOMEONE'S FOOT IS FALLING ASLEEP THE F U C K I N G WEATHER#“oh dialogue is easy just say it out loud to yourself until it 'sounds normal' ^^”#screaming crying throwing up NONE OF THIS IS INTUITIVE TO MEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....!#ok dramatics over its out of my system! for now!!!#this is all easily explained bc i just. draw a lot more than i talk to people. so like. OBVIOUSLY i have more practice drawing#so drawing comes natural! talking does not! subsequently dialogue is Hard! No FUCKING Shit Sherlock!!!!! (affectionate)#so yeah. im using y'all (the tumblr void) as practice! hi!!! words at you!!!!!!!!!!#so yeah thanks for baring with me while passing by my corner of the internet#i do love self indulgence this is fun check out my navel gazing actually no do not look at my belly button#anyway i just think this is mildly interesting. some of my writer buds have the same “not good enough” allergy towards visuals#but they use it to be mean2me >:( same bitch that “omg i cant i suck at drawing i can't do this-” does the “uhm. just write? lol.” 2 meeee#we could have peace and love on planet earth and a common experience and yet you KICK miette for being bad at words!!!1!!! </3 heartbreak!!#what the fuck was i talking about even#oh yeah. perfectionism within creatives i guess. LMAO JK i am talking about NOTHIN!!!!G i am just putting Words Out Here ehehehehehe#its practice >;)c#all this bc ive been doodling comics for myself again and im V!! PROUD OF THE ART!!!! wanna share- but DIALOGUE!*⚡sfx!!*....... so! options#a) leaving it blank. no there are NO microphones in the budget. b) leaving blank *balloons* so that the Rythm is there. implied convo!!!#c) ...doing it badly. (tragic)(heartwrenching)(teeny tiny bruise 2 the ego) *dramatic single tear cleches fists * its the only way.........#...we shall see! literally none of this is all that serious i am procrastinating!! <3 playing with my tuoys!!!!!!!! silly time!!!#/all lh! am reaching 30 tags so that is all for THIS episode of the maiora bitches about dialogue saga thank you for joining me!!okilyBuhBY
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nabaath-areng · 10 days ago
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I think the worst part about being disabled is just how MANY issues you get in one go. Like a 9-for-1 type of deal but for shit you'd rather not deal with but now you're stuck with it. And on one hand I'd love for that to not become my entire personality! Yet at the same time every little thing decides how I'm interacting with the world as a whole and everything and everyone around me, you cannot remove those things from the equation and so there's nothing to do but to try and quell the shame and embarrassment in favour of actually growing a psychological spine that's built better than my physical one. The mourning for all the hopes and ambitions you had to give up in order to survive is an ongoing process of mourning but the time will pass anyway and so all one can do is keep going and keep surviving.
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ra-vio · 1 month ago
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#art summary#i have to clear out my phone. im hoping that if i remove all the nier rein screenshots ill have space#im almost certain its all the rein screenshots cause. they’re bigger than most pics and i had a lot#otherwise im not cooked but god i hope its that easy#i dont make resolutions but i hope i draw more next year#the problem with art summaries is youll have months where you draw a lot#months where yiu draw 10 good things and then every other month is empty#but you drew. so you cant look at art summaries with emoty months and get sad#but like i didn’t draw as much this year lmao too much going on in my head#i was gonna say i rarely drew but i draw so much more than the average person#what i really mean is i didn’t finish anything#i was in my dA gallery the other day and I really used to draw a fully colored piece everyday on high school#absolutely mad. and we (me and my friends) all used to do it#i just had a thought: a majority of my friends draw <- thoughts for later#i had to answer the door so I forgot what i was talking about#i think that. what i was getting at was that behavior really screws up what’s a healthy relationship with art?#like when you’re a kid you have time and when you’re inexperienced and don’t know you’re more forgiving on your mistakes#whereas now if i draw one thing a week thats a job well done to me. im so busy i can’t take it out on myself and i dont#and of course the sms algorithm but I don’t play with the algorithm#but yeah everyone i grew up drawing with friends or ppl i follow stopped drawing or just posting a lot and I’ve been thinking about it a lot#an artist i really like used to post a whole bunch of art dumps everyday. just doodles on different series and i loved seeing them#but they stopoed posting. working on being that kind of artist for me. we got xx art at home situation#if any of that makes sense
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scattered-winter · 18 days ago
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made the mistake of reading through the political discussions on my big family groupchat that I usually keep muted. you must never do such a thing.
#like i knew that a lot of them are conservatives or republicans or whatever but man. even the ones who lean left are still well. mormon.#ive been really back and forth on whether or not i should come out to them but tbh. i have started to lean more toward Not.#when i came out as a nonbinary lesbian they all collectively smiled and nodded and then swept it under the rug never to be seen again#and i let them do it bc i was too afraid to try and stand up for myself. and i was conditioned not to also.#but me being trans is a lot harder to ignore. both bc im fucking tired of being treated like a rug and bc i hope to get a legal name change#and surgery and all that good shit.#but i really dont know how to go about doing all that without having to come out Somehow.#i guess i could always just. cut contact or something. but idk im reluctant to do that bc i still rely on my dad for money/insurance/etc#i dunno.#i wouldnt want to cut off my siblings but i dont know if i want to come out to them either.#idk.#im just fucking scared man. like i knew that for the most part my familys politics suck donkey nuts#but it was just really insane reading thru the chat bc even the ones who i had always thought were Safer are. well. not.#theres only 2 people in my family i fully trust and would actually love to come out to and one of them is my gay uncle (<3)#and the other is my aunt who is the ONLY. other person in my ENTIRE extended family. who has left the church.#i barely see her too bc for obvious reasons she dont hang around much. lmao#but idk. im rambling and melancholic its 1130 pm#my problem here is that there are members of my family i do want to come out to#but thatll very quickly lead to Everyone knowing. and i know im not ready for that.#hrhrggh.#maybe ill come out to my brother next time we talk. as a sort of test run.#im already a lot braver than i used to be and hopefully maybe someday ill be brave enough to come out#and then immediately fuck off into the sunset with my friends <3#sigh.#if im still wanting to come out to my brother by tomorrow when im of sound mind then i think i will.#we'll see how i feel after i sleep. lmao.#winter speaks#personal#we're entering Introspective Hours here at scattered winter dot com
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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago
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a quick hot guide for people that struggle commenting on fics aka things authors love to hear and youre just over thinking it and its actually really simple to leave comments on stuff!!
key smash/emoji spam/reaction image/etc (it conveys emotions way more than you might think)
drop a line you really liked
say how much you love a ship/character and how happy you are that theres content about them
ALL CAPS ANYTHING
"i liked/loved/enjoyed/whatever it!" its better to say the most basic thing than saying nothing tbh; writers appreciate hearing anything over nothing 💜
"thank you for writing this" its short, sweet, and very powerful
think what kind of feedback you'd personally like to receive on a piece of art you made. try to translate that want into comments you leave for other people too
you dont have to be critical or constructive or anything, even if the author asks for that stuff in their notes. they'll get it from someone else, you just do you
i feel like people make leaving comments too hard on themselves, so really just make it simple. if you really dont come up with anything, just say thank you. youre there reading for some reason, tell the author what it is. fic comments dont need to be book analysis essays (tho those are. incredibly appreciated as well if you want to write one!!), writers publishing their works for free online appreciate any kind of feedback regardless if you consider it good or well written. a comment is a comment
bottom line is, leave comments on fics and other written works. its whats keeping this game alive
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phagodyke · 4 months ago
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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james-spooky · 4 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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ryssbelle · 11 months ago
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Legends Arceus blorbos got me like 🤪
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rainingincale · 4 months ago
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#ok im making one more dot post and then i am (hopefully) getting off tumblr and going to bed#liam payne#death#i do suggest not reading tbh because its just gonna be waffle. anyways#ive distanced myself from the boys for years for a multitude of reasons. mainly that they did things that disappointed me and i realised the#way i was attatched to them was unhealthy. so for the most part i listened and enjoyed the music and didnt pay Much attention to anything#else. and like liam. i always liked him in the band days because to me he was the underdog. the underappreciated and probs less stanned one#out of all of them. and when youre a fan i do feel like a lot of us just wanted them all to be appreciated. idk. but anyways yeah i did feel#for him. due to him backgroud growing up. his talent. etc etc. even though he wasnt my fav. and even when he did something wrong my teenage#self still defended him like my life depended on it. (embarassing) anyways. his solo music while it was not my fav i still occasionally#enjoyed. its just over produced pop like it was fine and i found it fun. in terms of him as an actual person by this point in his career i#didnt pay attention to him or the others that much anymore#and like. yeah as of recently as more stuff came out about him being kinda weird and rude and abusive 🙃🙃🙃 that was kind of the final#straw for me! like in terms of me giving a fuck about him. if he eventually came around cool but i wasnt gonna wait around for it.#god this whole thing feels so dramatic but i need to get it oit or i Know i will not be at peace lmao anyways#so yeah come to hearing about his death which. i hear about because of trin lovell on twitter like. shsvshs. anyways my reaction was#disbelief and just... nothing? like i said in my brain i had just disregarded him honestly. and even now i still just feel speechless.#to summarise my feelings. fuck him for how he treated his ex and probably other women as well. but also. he was my boy. he'll always be a#part of me. and it feels weird that hes just. gone. he suffered a lot with addiction and pressures etc and its just. sad that hes gone now.#that he never got to get better. and he wont get the chance to. im sad for his family. and anyone else thats gonna be affected by this#im always gonna remember him.#and thats all i have to say. honestly part of me feels SO dramatic for even typing all this out but here we are.#if anyone has read this far and wants someone to talk to im more than happy. and also just wanna make clear that i am fine#le text post
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