#its like a 5 minute + process on average

[phagodyke]

this assay is so fucking fake......

[umemiyan]

𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙏𝙈𝙊𝙍𝙏𝙀𝙈 / 𝙋𝙊𝙎𝙏𝙋𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙐𝙈. — 𝖯𝖠𝖱𝖳 𝖨

𝘕𝘌𝘟𝘛 𝘊𝘏𝘈𝘗𝘛𝘌𝘙 ･ 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 ･ 𝘛𝘈𝘎𝘓𝘐𝘚𝘛

𝗦𝗔𝗧𝗢𝗥𝗨 𝗚𝗢𝗝𝗢 𝗫 𝗚𝗡!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥. ⌇ sfw, but minors dni (potential for nsfw continuations) / jjk manga spoilers / this is my version of "came back wrong" gojo inspired by recent events, but it turned out somewhat softer than i expected / what happens when satoru is brought back and suddenly finds himself deeply attached to you of all people?

yandere!gojo / he's also slightly higher-needs disabled coded… idk i tried to approach it as best as i could. it's an unfamiliar thing for reader and they're trying to process it / i very well may try to continue this because it is rotting my brain!! / 1.7k words

“Satoru… you need to eat.”

A full bowl of soup sits on the table before him untouched, his hands resting unoccupied in his lap and eyes trained on your figure as you circle around to stand near him. That piercing blue gaze is ridden with innocence, lips parted like those of a quizzical child, but they turn upwards into a pleased grin when you take a seat in the chair next to him.

You’d prepared a rather simple dish, something you figured might be easy for him to consume and digest given his… peculiar state, but Satoru apparently had yet to pay any interest to it. He instead sat obediently in his chair just as you had commanded several minutes ago, unable to initiate the task of feeding himself, for he was much more intrigued from afar by your every move as you tidied the kitchen. It was as though he couldn’t find the drive to function unless you were within an overwhelmingly short distance of him.

Satoru’s heart thumps now that you’re close, a burst of satisfaction rushing through his brain. Dopey yet stimulating chemicals. You are Pavlov’s ringing bell. 

He is reminiscent of a child picked up from school by their beloved parent, or a puppy being reunited with its owner after a day at the vet, overcome with joy and unable to properly contain it. He leans forward and presses his lips to your neck as though that is the appropriate response to his elation, the crossed wires in his brain telling him that this is the sort of affection that will please you and is therefore the sort of affection he most desperately wants to give.

His condition was difficult to understand, and you wouldn’t call yourself properly equipped to deal with it, but there was simply no other option but to try; Gojo wouldn’t let anyone else try, the horrible rattling in his skull consuming him when deprived of your presence for too long. Yuuta had described the look in his eyes as “frenzied and lost.” You were told that the infirmary still needed repairs.

Once he returned to this world, Satoru had been stripped down to his essence, bare bones, a creature of instinct, reduced to something quite simple yet difficult for the average person to understand. But you had to understand, or try at the very least. This was the new burden placed upon your shoulders; it was either soothe this new version of Satoru Gojo for the sake of the world, or find a way to send him back into the icy arms of death. You were often caught between which option sounded worse.

However, when met with the sweetest and most earnest of his smiles, your bones were frosted with guilt, and you regretted ever entertaining the idea of letting him go again.

You stumble over getting him to perform necessary tasks and be further than 5 feet away from you at any given time, because it seems that, upon his revival, Satoru equates you and only you with everything of importance in his life. It’s more than a little unnerving given the fact that you’d never so much as even kissed prior to the loss of him, and now his neurons only fire off every happy memory he’s ever had of you, every positive thing he’s ever felt, no matter how stifled. You are his entire world now, and he can’t even verbalize it, but as each day passes following his awakening, you’re starting to gather that much on your own. You can’t be frustrated for long, however, because his cheerfulness is contagious, his enthusiasm making you feel loved even if it is somewhat smothering.

Is this selfish of you? 

The man's lips travel slowly across your skin, pacified by your presence, your taste, and ignoring the grumble in his stomach. How does one differentiate the types of hunger? You don’t attempt to fight him off, but rather exhale a defeated sigh in response. It hasn’t been long since you’ve been tasked with this responsibility, but it feels as though you’re frequently fighting a losing battle and failing him all the same. It’s so peculiar, so very unnatural… but still, you have to try.

“Satoru, please…” you beg, voice light in his ear and a hand settling at his nape. His nerve endings come alive every time his name leaves your lips. The bell. “Just one bite? For me?”

That seems to do the trick, as you’ve gathered. Satoru pulls himself back, hyper-aware of the tone in your voice and suddenly willing to comply. He’s more than eager to accept the spoon into his mouth when you offer it, placing your fingers beneath his chin and carefully bringing the soup up to his lips. He swallows it with ease, the task literally more palatable now that you’ve reminded him of how badly you would like him to complete it. Anything for you.

“There,” you say, satisfied and offering a faint, exhausted smile. He grins widely in response and hums, no longer capable of words of his own, but his simple noise expresses his glee with efficacy. Satoru decides to punctuate it by pressing the tip of his nose to yours for good measure.

It feels wrong to enjoy these subtle moments of intimacy with someone who doesn’t appear to be in his right mind, but who are you to say whether he is or not? There’s still an agency he possesses, a heart full of emotions, and a mind teeming with thoughts that you wish you could be privy to. He might be different now, but part of you wants to say with certainty that the old Satoru is still here with you somehow—you can sense it. He chuckles at particular images that flash across the TV and still gets a kick out of teasing you to some degree. To diminish that seems like a disservice to him.

You’re unable to deprive him of the happiness your closeness provides nonetheless; in fact, it’s obviously rather dangerous for you to even try and do so. Satoru’s conscious recollections are filled primarily with you, but his body is still more or less the same as it always was—the vessel of his clan’s power, the strongest sorcerer on earth. You’re not sure to what extent he remembers how to control these abilities, but part of you doesn’t wish to find out. For now, you care for him, placate him, re-learn him. Nothing is certain about the situation other than the fact that he apparently needs you now more than ever.

Your eyes soften at the warmth he exudes, and you wonder if he really remembers who you even are—or were—to him. It’s not worth pondering over for now, however. He needs to eat.

“Another?” you ask, testing to see how willing he is to fulfill your wishes. Satoru often easily complies once you’ve expressed satisfaction in him doing so, but all of this is still so new and experimental; you never know when he might decide to switch gears.

However, still smiling, he nods, and you bring another spoonful of soup up to his lips for him to swallow. It pleases you to see him finally getting something into his stomach, and he can sense it, taking it upon himself to further your agenda and simultaneously realizing just how gratifying it is to fill his belly.

“Good,” you say, and he feels rewarded. He is crowned by your praise. Exalted. You take him to the greatest heights with the simplest of words.

You place the spoon back in the bowl and Satoru takes it in his grasp, feeding himself without quarrel while you observe. Most of his motor skills appear to be intact as far as you’ve seen despite the cognitive and behavioral changes, and if someone were to look upon him from afar, you’re fairly certain they would never know the difference. But you’re still trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together little by little, deciphering each bit of information and also determining just how deep his severe attachment to you really goes.

Why did it end up being you? Why do you suddenly seem to be the only thing that makes sense to him in this entire universe?

You can’t answer that, he can’t answer that, it’s just the way it is. Satoru doesn’t need to know why you nearly consume his every thought, he just knows that you make him happy, and that’s truly all that counts in his version of the world. He’ll chase it on instinct until death decides to take him again; he’ll tear down anything that stands in his or your way, for you alone are all that he thinks he has left to cling to. Never matter the others that show concern for him—they’re nice enough, earning a small smile or even the privilege to touch before he shakes them off and seeks you out again. It’s nothing personal. It’s simply pathological.

Leaning an elbow on the table, you turn the possibilities over in your mind as you silently watch him eat. A life has been restored, but yours has been turned upside down, and you have to figure out just exactly what you’re going to do about it. You suppose that taking baby steps ought to be the best way to make progress, but how do you make space for someone like this out of the blue? You’ll have to give it your best shot.

Satoru finishes drinking down the remaining broth of his soup, and you pose a question. “Would you like to go for a walk with me today?”

He sits the bowl down and looks over at you, eyes assessing your features and mind processing what you’ve asked. He hasn’t been out much in the days following his return, but you don’t see any reason to keep him cooped up inside if he happens to respond well to a casual outing with you. Taking him for a stroll outside seems like a decent way to test the waters.

Satoru smiles and nods, recalling memories of how your hair looked when touched by the wind. He’d be glad to accompany you outside if it meant he could see you glow in the sun, radiant and warm. The center of his universe.

“I think it’ll be nice,” you remark with a grin, an ounce or two of weight being lifted from your shoulders at the positive shift in outlook. Baby steps.

Reaching out to take your hand, Satoru squeezes it in his own to convey his agreement. It’s as if he’s trying to say, “everything is nice when I’m with you.”

[dandelionsresilience]

Dandelion News - October 8-14

Like these weekly compilations? Tip me at $kaybarr1735 or check out my Dandelion Doodles on Patreon!

1. All 160 dogs at Florida shelter found homes ahead of Hurricane Milton

“[The shelter] offered crates, food and anything else the dogs would need in exchange for the animals to spend just five days with the foster parents if the human didn't want to keep them for longer. […A]fter about a day of receiving around 100 messages every 30 minutes, Bada said, all 160 were gone from the shelter and in safe and warm homes.”

2. Restoring Ecosystems and Rejuvenating Native Hawaiian Traditions in Maui

“[Volunteers] are restoring water flow to the refuge, removing invasive species, and restoring a loko iʻa kalo using ʻike kūpuna, ancestral knowledge. […] This human-made ecosystem will provide food for community members and habitat for wildlife while protecting coral reefs offshore.”

3. Solar-powered desalination system requires no extra batteries

“In contrast to other solar-driven desalination designs, the MIT system requires no extra batteries for energy storage, nor a supplemental power supply, such as from the grid. […] The system harnessed on average over 94 percent of the electrical energy generated from the system’s solar panels to produce up to 5,000 liters of water per day[….]”

4. Threatened pink sea fan coral breeds in UK aquarium for first time

“The spawning is part of University of Exeter Ph.D. student Kaila Wheatley Kornblum's research into the reproduction, larval dispersal and population connectivity of Eunicella verrucosa. […] Pink sea fans are believed to have been successfully bred by only one other institution, Lisbon Oceanarium, in 2023.”

5. Tiny 'backpacks' are being strapped to baby turtles[….]

““We analysed the data and found that hatchlings show amazingly consistent head-up orientation – despite being in the complete dark, surrounded by sand [… and] they move as if they were swimming rather than digging[…. This new observation method is] answering questions about best conservation practices,” says Dor.”

6. New California Law Protects Wildlife Connectivity

“A new state law in California will instruct counties and municipalities to conserve wildlife corridors when planning new development. […] This could entail everything from creating wildlife crossings at roads or highways, employing wildlife-safe fencing, or not developing on certain land.”

7. ‘I think, boy, I’m a part of all this’: how local heroes reforested Rio’s green heart

“By 2019, [the program] had transformed the city’s landscape, having trained 15,000 local workers like Leleco, who have planted 10m seedlings across […] roughly 10 times the area of New York’s Central Park. Reforested sites include mangroves and vegetation-covered sandbars called restinga, as well as wooded mountainsides around favelas.”

8. Alabama Town Plans to Drop Criminal Charges Over Unpaid Garbage Bills

““Suspending garbage pickup, imposing harsh late penalties and prosecuting people who through no fault of their own are unable to pay their garbage and sewage bills does not make payment suddenly forthcoming,” West said. [… The city] has agreed to drop pending criminal charges against its residents over unpaid garbage bills.”

9. New Hampshire’s low-income community solar program finally moves forward

“The state energy department is reviewing seven proposals for community solar arrays that will allocate a portion of their bill credits to low-income households. […] New Hampshire’s strategy of working with utilities to automatically enroll households that have already been identified streamlines the process.”

10. The Future Looks Bright for Electric School Buses

“EPA has awarded about $3 billion in grants from the infrastructure law, which paid to replace about 8,700 buses. Of those, about 95 percent are electric. [… Electric buses are] cheaper to operate and require less maintenance than diesel buses and will soon be at cost parity when looking at the lifetime cost of ownership[….]”

October 1-7 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[evillemons]

Which BTS members would last the longest in bed

Including the entire session, both foreplay and sex itself. Ranked from longest time to shortest. Check out the masterlist for other fun content.

*NSFW content*

1. SUGA - Yoongi savors sex and would be in no rush at all to reach climax for either himself or his partner. He loves to take his time kissing her and caressing her body gently, building the heat slowly and gradually. Foreplay would be sensual and romantic but also a little lazy most of the time, frequently beginning organically while watching TV or first thing in the morning after waking up. Once she starts to get needy and/or bored after the buildup, he would please her by alternating between his hands and tongue, exactly how she likes it (he wouldn't mind if it took her an hour to finish, but with his exceptional skill and dexterity it wouldn't take more than 5-10 minutes max). In terms of actual penetrative sex, his stamina would be average; sex is a form of relaxation for him but he wouldn't feel the need to draw out his orgasm as long as his partner is thoroughly pleased beforehand.

2. V - Taehyung might be into a rare quickie if the mood is right, but for the most part prefers a longer session to be able to both fully tease and please. He's a dangerous combination of dominant, unpredictable, and has incredible control over the timing of his orgasm. Some days he loves drawing out foreplay until his girlfriend is quite literally begging him to make her cum or for him to put his cock in her. Other days he might bend her over a table, pull her skirt up, and fuck her without warning, but then stall his orgasm by changing speed and positions frequently. If he decides to do both, the whole session could last up to an hour; there are times when she'll cum/squirt multiple times because of how ridiculously long he can last. For Tae, sex is both a play time to explore his sexuality and an opportunity to feel close with his partner.

3. RM - Namjoon is a master of foreplay. He is an absolute gentleman in bed and loves to give his partner the best orgasm every single time. The lead up to sex is all about her; he would take his time kissing her lips, neck, and breasts strategically while his hands roam over her body delicately to build the heat in between her thighs before he even touches her. And even though he's quite skilled at pleasing and could make her cum within a few minutes if he wanted to (especially oral), he also knows how to work slowly and gradually so that her orgasm can build to its fullest potential. During sex, he has excellent control over his orgasm when on top. When it comes to Joon's favorite positions though (ahem, being ridden), control goes out the window and he has to concentrate immaculately hard on not cumming prematurely.

4. Jungkook - In terms of foreplay, Jungkook is focused more on the goal than the process. He's more than capable of using his mouth and hands for a long period of time to make his girlfriend orgasm if need be, but between his skill, enthusiasm, and speed, his girl would cum relatively quickly. Although he does enjoy frantic kissing and a heavy buildup, a long foreplay session would bore him and potentially ruin the mood. During sex, Jungkook's stamina would vary heavily depending on the situation. With him on top, he would have phenomenal control over his orgasm and be able to last quite a while if he wanted to. While being ridden or given oral, however, he would become weak to the visual and likely be unable to hold back for more than a few minutes.

5. Jimin - Jimin isn't particularly keen on making sex long and drawn out. To him, sex is about the the foreplay and buildup more than anything. He loves to tease, engage in a little role play, give and receive a lot of touch, maybe some dirty talk here and there. Stamina wise, I don't think he would last longer than average or feel the need to. Jimin loves affection and physical intimacy, but again, moreso the before and after where he can have fun with his girlfriend in a way that feels romantic and not overly provocative. I actually do think, however, he would really enjoy a handjob or blowjob with heavy eye contact, with oral sex often being the main act in itself rather than PIV.

6. j-hope - Although Hoseok enjoys sex quite a bit, he is generally not patient enough for a long foreplay session. He might give his girl oral or finger her at the start of a session but usually not for long enough to make her orgasm. He also likes to fuck fast and hard, making sex with him relatively quick as a whole. Most of the time her orgasms would come from one of them frantically rubbing her clit while he is inside of her (which would frequently end up in unintentional squirting). However, he can have decent stamina and control over his orgasm if he wishes. If it's a special occasion or he's feeling more romantic he might try to make himself last longer for her, but as a whole sex with Hoseok wold be on the average to quick side.

7. Jin - Similar to Jimin, Jin loves the romanticism aspect of sex more so than the physical pleasure itself. He doesn't offer much foreplay outside of kissing and light fondling unless his girlfriend requests it; but even if it's straight to sex, he 's still gentle and loving and always makes sure she feels comfortable and is experiencing pleasure. A "making love" kind of guy, for sure. I don't think he would have much control over his orgasm. He would probably last for a very consistent and predictable amount of time during both sex and oral. As I always say, I imagine Jin with a relatively low sex drive and little interest in drawing out a session longer than it needs to be.

[agapi-kalyptei]

crowdstrike: hot take 1

It's too early in the news cycle to say anything truly smart, but to sum things up, what I know so far:

there was no "hack" or cyberattack or data breach*

a private IT security company called CrowdStrike released a faulty update which practically disabled all its desktop (?) Windows workstations (laptops too, but maybe not servers? not sure)

the cause has been found and a fix is on the way

as it stands now, the fix will have to be manually applied (in person) to each affected workstation (this could mean in practice maybe 5, maybe 30 minutes of work for each affected computer - the number is also unknown, but it very well could be tens (or hundreds) of thousands of computers across thousands of large, multinational enterprises.

(The fix can be applied manually if you have a-bit-more-than-basic knowledge of computers)

Things that are currently safe to assume:

this wasn't a fault of any single individual, but of a process (workflow on the side of CrowdStrike) that didn't detect the fault ahead of time

[most likely] it's not that someone was incompetent or stupid - but we don't have the root cause analysis available yet

deploying bugfixes on Fridays is a bad idea

*The obligatory warning part:

Just because this wasn't a cyberattack, doesn't mean there won't be related security breaches of all kinds in all industries. The chaos, panic, uncertainty, and very soon also exhaustion of people dealing with the fallout of the issue will create a perfect storm for actually malicious actors that will try to exploit any possible vulnerability in companies' vulnerable state.

The analysis / speculation part:

globalization bad lol

OK, more seriously: I have not even heard about CrowdStrike until today, and I'm not a security engineer. I'm a developer with mild to moderate (outsider) understanding of vulnerabilities.

OK some background / basics first

It's very common for companies of any size to have more to protect their digital assets than just an antivirus and a firewall. Large companies (Delta Airlines) can afford to pay other large companies to provide security solutions for them (CrowdStrike). These days, to avoid bad software of any kind - malware - you need a complex suite of software that protects you from all sides:

desktop/laptop: antivirus, firewall, secure DNS, avoiding insecure WiFi, browser exploits, system patches, email scanner, phishing on web, phishing via email, physical access, USB thumb drive, motherboard/BIOS/UEFI vulnerabilities or built-in exploits made by the manufacturers of the Chinese government,

person/phone: phishing via SMS, phishing via calls, iOS/Android OS vulnerabilities, mobile app vulnerabilities, mobile apps that masquerade as useful while harvesting your data, vulnerabilities in things like WhatsApp where a glitched JPG pictures sent to you can expose your data, ...

servers: mostly same as above except they servers have to often deal with millions of requests per day, most of them valid, and at least some of the servers need to be connected to the internet 24/7

CDN and cloud services: fundamentally, an average big company today relies on dozens or hundreds of other big internet companies (AWS / Azure / GCP / Apple / Google) which in turn rely on hundreds of other companies to outsource a lot of tasks (like harvesting your data and sending you marketing emails)

infrastructure - routers... modems... your Alexa is spying on you... i'm tired... etc.

Anyway if you drifted to sleep in the previous paragraph I don't blame you. I'm genuinely just scratching the surface. Cybersecurity is insanely important today, and it's insanely complex too.

The reason why the incident blue-screened the machines is that to avoid malware, a lot of the anti-malware has to run in a more "privileged" mode, meaning they exist very close to the "heart" of Windows (or any other OS - the heart is called kernel). However, on this level, a bug can crash the system a lot more easily. And it did.

OK OK the actual hot lukewarm take finally

I didn't expect to get hit by y2k bug in the middle of 2024, but here we are.

As bad as it was, this only affected a small portion of all computers - in the ballpark of ~0.001% or even 0.0001% - but already caused disruptions to flights and hospitals in a big chunk of the world.

maybe-FAQ:

"Oh but this would be avoided if they weren't using the Crowdwhatever software" - true. However, this kind of mistake is not exclusive to them.

"Haha windows sucks, Linux 4eva" - I mean. Yeah? But no. Conceptually there is nothing that would prevent this from happening on Linux, if only there was anyone actually using it (on desktop).

"But really, Windows should have a better protection" - yes? no? This is a very difficult, technical question, because for kernel drivers the whole point is that 1. you trust them, and 2. they need the super-powerful-unrestrained access to work as intended, and 3. you _need_ them to be blazing fast, so babysitting them from the Windows perspective is counterproductive. It's a technical issue with no easy answers on this level.

"But there was some issue with Microsoft stuff too." - yes, but it's unknown if they are related, and at this point I have not seen any solid info about it.

The point is, in a deeply interconnected world, it's sort of a miracle that this isn't happening more often, and on a wider scale. Both bugfixes and new bugs are deployed every minute to some software somewhere in the world, because we're all in a rush to make money and pay rent and meet deadlines.

Increased monoculture in IT is bad for everyone. Whichever OS, whichever brand, whichever security solution provider - the more popular they are, the better visible their mistakes will be.

As much as it would be fun to make jokes like "CrowdStroke", I'm not even particularly mad at the company (at this point - that might change when I hear about their QA process). And no, I'm not even mad at Windows, as explained in the pseudo-FAQ.

The ultimate hot take? If at all possible, don't rely on anything related to computers. Technical problems are caused by technical solutions.

[cynautica]

i remembered i can just make stuff up (stream sketches + scrapped designs)

uhhhh quick fire for the second image from left to right juvenile vessel - old world cable maintenance - artistic diplomat vessel

Headcanons below the cut:

(Im not kidding word counter marked this as a 5 minute reading time open at your own risk)

While the sentiment of the architect network as "a thousand strings in a melody, not one louder than the rest" is a poetic interpretation of the network, it is not necessarily reflective of the precursors society as a whole.

At its peak, the species span billions of planets with billions on billions of individuals, all with their own degrees of autonomy and divergence. If each architect is equal in its power, than it is equal in its power to choose. Even if the soul of an architect, its very essence and its personality, is designed so perfectly that its primary desire is the perpetuation of order and advancement (two inherently divergent concepts), faults occur. Breakages occur. Pockets, cultural subsets, faded transmissions, and any other element of lost insight be it archaic or modern, lends itself to the impossibility of an entirely homogeneous society.

Whether a hive minded society reflects the only means to perfection is debatable, but its important to remember that our main portal in to the precursor world is Al-an, a known prodigy born and raised in to a society that has done nothing but benefit him. His view of his people is intrinsically skewed. He has never had a reason to see beyond the propaganda, nor question his directives. They have never once failed him.

But what of the little guys? The constructed failures so to speak. Those destined to be cast in to the bowels of poisonous cobalt mines and those who's birth purpose is to be irradiated and isolated for the greater good of the collective. Those who's genes prompted sub-standard intelligence who will never be seen as truly important. Their needs must be cast aside by design for the greater good of the collective. By design they must be ignored, their thoughts not relevant to the forwarding of progress.

Because there is true power disparity there is a true hierarchy.

Aware of this, the precursors devised a system of checks and balances to ensure that scientific progress remains at the forefront, rather than the accumulation of power by any individual.

As with all things though, power inevitably seeks to maintain and grow like a cancer.

One such exertion of power comes in the form of a "hive master". These unique individuals require precise expensive machinery in order to be produced, and as such are very rare. The vessels they require are likewise uniquely suited to only these hive masters and their unique ability to sway the voices and personality of any individual connected to the network. They themselves are invisible, completely undetectable except in physical form. Their unique telepathic abilities only work when paired with these vessels. They have no voice nor will of their own and are said to represent architect society on its most basal level.

Given their difficult to produce nature established personalities are very often used in place of new seed combinations. Personalities most suited for repurposing as a hive master include those who are most senior, intelligent, and aligned wholly with societal goals.

They are typically only found on heavily populated planets with more than a few thousand individuals. There they go undetected, like the sound of wind lost in a sea of voices, whose squall directs its very rampage. They are also enlisted for many unique duties on populous planets, such as the refactoring of corrupted individuals and silencing cultural sub-sets.

The average architect probably isn't even aware of the existence of a hive master unless their profession lies in the refactoring and diplomatic processes.

Despite the cultural drive for a monotonous and orderly society, artistic expression is common and encouraged in some sects. All architects possess the desire to express themselves, similarly to humans. Some do this simply with their inbuilt biolights that vary naturally with the individual, while others (less commonly) modify their vessel or design new and unique ones for themselves.

A vessel after all is a costly investment you cant just change like the season, its built to last you a couple thousand years. It's only natural that some seek to don something unique.

This behavior is sometimes detested by more traditional architects, but is not universally frowned upon.

Diplomats are actually encouraged to take on more artistically designed vessels. Often with their respective species' artistic values in mind. They've found greater success with alliances when they don't look like massive sticks in the mud.

Subsets of culture also at times develop unique vessels. Such as an order-over-progress movement that developed on the fringes of the network and preferred pie-bald esque vessels. Alternatively in the past as wars waged between the architects the opposing sides often don differing forms to show their allegiances. In more recent history, a wave of white-clad vigilantes advocated for a complete reset of the old-world collective.

Aside from artistic and affiliation vessels, mainstream precursor society also used a series of varying vessels to reflect personal occupation. Some of the most notable included the warrior vessel, who by design met the largest accommodations of standard architecture for the purposes of intimidation and physical altercations. Al-an's vessel likewise is very common as a heavier-built variant meant to face harsh outer worlds such as 4546B. On base, more light and energy efficient vessels make the dominant force where defense isn't a huge priority.

Microvessels such as those seen above in grey are fairly uncommon despite their energy efficiency. They are most efficient on old world planets that have been in development for hundreds of thousands of years, where the march of time means that not all builders past and present were on the same wavelength and as such small and precise forms mean that construction can be completed with minimal risk to crowded infrastructure.

Another unique and uncommon vessel is that of a juvenile grow-out vessel. These are seldom customized beyond survival needs, and are designed to acclimate a freshly generated architect to the physical world. Like a living vessel, they grow with the individual starting from broodling all the way until young adulthood. They tend to be a bit clumsy and lack the ability to interface with most technology. Always running a blue biolight, these vessels to not require a lot of energy to function physically. A juvenile architect must prove its maturity before it is allowed to graduate in to an adult vessel. This change-out phase is a diplomatic process and one can sometimes wait many years before being approved in to maturity.

The treatment of a new architect varies quite significantly depending on their birthplace and genotype. High performing juveniles are singled out very quickly for better education. Despite the rarity of surviving children in architect society they are not given much importance. A single broodmother may be the ward of up to fifty broodlings, each of which given little attention in favor of allowing them to develop social skills among themselves. Despite architect's seeming infinite power to control resources, broodling mortality is surprisingly high.

[sonicasura]

Biological Complications of Being A Kaiju

Here we are with my personal thoughts on the possible biological changes done to Kaiju No. 8's Kafka Hibino. I will be talking about different biology such as reproductive amongst others things. Fair warning that shit will get weird. (Nothing is sacred with kaiju.) Now let's get started.

Kafka's kaiju form has traits seen from various different animals mainly reptiles and sharks. His hide acts closer to that of the Nurse Shark with some traits of marine iguanas alongside poisonous frogs. Thanks to this, he can secrete substances like poison or liquid waste from his entire body. (Kafka doesn't fully know this because otherwise the man would never use his nips like THAT again.)

Similar to Marine Iguanas, his kaiju side is an very adept swimmer. Kafka's average speed can be clocked around 80mph in water but he could go even faster by manifesting a tail and webbing his hands/feet. The awkward shape of his neck conceals special gils that filters out water or harmful gases.

Kafka is cold blooded to a degree. He prefers seeking out warmth by sunbathing but it'll take constant extreme cold to make him hibernate. Attempts to force him into such a state will result in his kaiju side growing thick fur similar to polar bears as a defense mechanism. This coat being shed off over the course of Spring and regrown during the fall.

Kafka's body will adapt under extremely stressful situations. These particular changes can be difficult to near impossible for him to will away as they were done by Tiny(Mosquito Kaiju). Pecking order involving alterations to their kaiju form: Tiny, Kafka, Ai.

Fangs are very similar to that of any shark. Should Kafka lose any then new ones normally grow in after two minutes. His jaw strengthens matches that of an alligator mixed with a snapping turtle. Unless Kafka lets go then breaking his teeth is the only way to free oneself. Although the fangs will be embedded in his victim as a way to cripple them.

Kafka has a tendency to shed his scales from time to time. A normal process as its a way for his body to naturally dispose of the dead ones. Losing large patches occurs from either sickness or bi-annual molting.

Similar to a lizard, Kafka can climb and hang on different surfaces. His claws are perfect to retain his grip should the climbing target be slippery or someone tries to pull him off. If push comes to shove, one adaptation Kafka can use is camouflage similar to a chameleon.

*Reproductive Section is here. You can skip this as nothing new is past it.*

Reproductive organs are still present even in kaiju form. Similar to a lizard, Kafka's genitals are hidden behind a cloaca for protection. His kaiju form comes with both sets of reproductive organs i.e male and female.

The species are highly adaptive when it comes to keeping their population numbers stable. Kafka wasn't exactly happy to learn about this change. Especially since most kaiju are the egg laying type, his included.

Should conception occur then at least 3-5 eggs are laid after 3 weeks. During that time period, Kafka will eat twice his body weight and be quite aggressive around unfamiliar faces. A nest is also made from various bedding materials like pillows, blankets, to even mattresses.

Eggs will hatch in the span of 4-7 weeks. Newborn hatchlings are the size of kittens and have small fangs as they only feed on meat or fish at this age. They age at the same rate humans do thus reach full maturity in around 20 years. All of them will have a human form and obtain it at the 4-5 year mark.

Similar to a possum, Kafka will carry any whelp he has on his back. His instincts make it difficult for him to leave them alone for too long until they are at least 3 months old. It'll take some heavy persuasion from anyone close to Kafka to have someone babysit for him during that time period.

Experimenting with Kaiju biology is quite the acid trip, huh?

[flnpushy]

Helios 10. Experimental Birth Part 1

It had been 3 weeks since the last check up. Kara was now heavily pregnant with a 27 pound baby. Kara was fast asleep when a knock at her apartment pod door woke her suddenly. She struggled to get her huge belly out of bed and waddled to the door. It was Dr. Karens.

“A group 1 mother has gone into labor. Report to experimental lab in 15 minutes.” Dr. Karens said.

Kara got on a scooter and headed to the lab. The other group 1 mothers including angel had already arrived. 

“Ok girls groups of 5 are selected on on screen, you will be escorted to your garden birth area and induced to keep the experiment controlled. Kara and Angel were lucky, they were in the same birth group. They were escorted to EXP Garden 1. A new facility designed for the experiment. The girls entered a lush and beautiful surrounding. The floors where a white membrane designed to be comfortable and self cleaning. The garden had a small pool, a community birth stool area, squat bars, beds, and so much more. It was the ideal place to birth. The garden was also filled with hidden cameras so that the scientists could always keep an eye on the progress or issues the mothers may be having. The girls entered. A scientist was there at the entrance giving the girls a pill as they entered. The pill was to activate labor and get things started for birthing. The scene was set. Its was time to birth some babies. 

The girls were instructed to sit upon the birth stools and were briefed for the mission. The stools were in a circle so the 5 girls could birth together and offer each other encouragement. In the sub group was Kara, Angel, Molly, Luna, and Kate. A screen mounted on the garden entrance wall also displayed the information from the other sub groups of group 1 so that everyone knew where everyone else was at. All 20 names were on the screen and next to all of them currently read “Induced.”

Kara and Angel acquainted themselves with the other girls. Molly was a petite brunette about 5 foot 2. She had freckles and blue eyes, she supported a big belly that was much to large for her frame. Luna was a blonde hair medium framed girl, about 5 foot 7. Her large belly fit her frame a bit better then Molly. Finally there was Kate. She was a small 5 foot 1 brunette girl, her small frame made her like Molly, her belly was much to big for her! Both Angel and Kate were to be birthing breech babies, where as the others were to have normal headfirst births. The average size for the babies in this group was 27 pounds. 

Dr. Karens entered the room. 

“Since this is group one I will visit you girls first and get things set up.” She said.

“You will all be equip with probes to help us monitor your progress and health of the babies during this birthing process, lets fit these probes now.” 

Dr. Karens grabbed a probe from a sealed container and moved toward Molly first. 

“Ok Molly open those legs. Molly leaned back on the birth stool and opened her legs revealing her small pussy. Karens pulled her open a bit more and with a gloved hand inserted the tiny probe. 

“Ok the probe will fall out on its own after the placenta is delivered, It will relay information to us as well as live video feed of whats happening inside you.” 

Karens fit the rest of the girls with their probes. Each girl was given a screen to hold onto. this screen provided a live video feedback from the probes that were inside of them. A self-locating wire from the probe made its way from the probe itself through the mucus plug and into the womb. The girls could now all see their babies inside of them, as so could the scientist to help monitor the progress. As the mothers pushed and progressed the babies, the wire would move allowing them to see as they pushed. 

The girls had immediate entertainment from their live feedback screens. 

“Oh look at that little man inside me!” Molly said. 

“Ohhh He’s so cute! Luna said, looking at Molly’s screen. 

Kara and Angel were also seeing what was within their wombs. Kara could see her babies head and face on her screen, as Angel was birthing breech she could see her babies legs and feet. 

Angel looked at Kara’s screen. 

“Oh hes so cute! But his head is so big!” She said.

“Right, that head has to come out of me! Wheeeew!!” Kara said. 

About an hour passed, finally Molly was the first to experience a contraction. 

“Oh, here goes, I’m contracting!” Molly said. 

On the screen above the girls that showed all 20 names, Molly’s status changed to “Active labor.” It wasn’t long after and all the girls in the sub group were experiencing contractions. The birth marathon had begun. 

In a small dark room above the gardens another group was forming. All of the gardens were in a circle around a central tower shaft. This was invisible from the girls prospective in the gardens but the scientists within this tower had perfect viewing of all the gardens. As the girls went into labor, the scientists gathered to begin taking notes and monitoring the “Challenge” Experiment. 

“ Ok so have we discussed options for the mothers carrying breech?” A scientist asked. 

“Yes.” Replied Dr. Karens. “They will proceed as usual.”  

“Ok what about the possibility of a stuck baby?” Another scientist brought up.

“We will let the mothers push until they can push no more, then we will intervene, this must be a realistic trial as per Council orders.” Dr. Karens applied. “We need to stay hands off!” 

Back in the sub group, contractions were coming and going rapidly. The girls were enjoying watching contractions on their personal live screens. They could see inside themselves and see the contractions squeezing the babies, slowly working them downwards. Little to the girls knowledge the labor of this “Challenge” Experiment was designed to be short. The pills they took would make them dilate much faster then natural so that the pushing stages could begin sooner. The probes that were inside the girls could also measure dilation. And after the first 2 hours, many of the girls in group 1 were showing 6-7 cm dilation on the information screen. A couple more hours passed and the group 1 girls were now reading 10cm. The painful transition phase was about to begin. Transitioning from labor to active pushing. In the sub group that 

Kara was in, the girls all started to loose their mucus plugs around the same time. Their probe cameras now showed the dilating cervix instead of inside the wombs. They could now watch the babies being forced through the 10 cm dilation. 

Up in the tower the scientists were scrambling to take notes and observe. 

“Ok everyone, critical timing!!!” A scientist said aloud. “Will these babies fit through?

Back on the floor of the garden below, Angel was laying on a small bed relaxing, she was in pain as she was transitioning. She watched her screen intently, watching each contraction to see if her baby was moving. All of a sudden a tiny baby foot poked through the cervix and out of her womb! 

“Hey girls, my baby just poked through my cervix! He’s coming!” Angel said.

A few moments later Kara could see her babies large head begin to push its way through her cervix and into her vagina. It really hurt! But it was exciting to see her baby slowly coming. Soon though would be the pushing. 

Within the hour all the girls in Kara’s sub group were through transition. In the tower the scientists celebrated this first major milestone. 

“Ok they fit through the cervix, but now can theses babies be pushed out?!?” Dr. Karens said to the team. 

Down in the garden things are changing.

“I feel like I could push.” Kate said. 

Kate was having a breech baby and could see the babies two little feet an her probe camera sticking through her cervix and into her vagina. She could feel the baby wiggle as she began to push on the birth stool. On her camera she could see babies little feet twitching and moving around. 

Up in the tower all attention was now on Kara’s sub group, but most specifically on Kate. 

“We have a push!” A scientist said aloud.  “Kate is pushing her baby!” In the tower a large screen was now devoted to Kate’s probe. The scientists watched the baby inside of her as she began pushing. When Kate pushed they could see the babies little feet move a few millimeters into the vagina, but then retract slowly back in her womb through the cervix. This went on for a few more pushes. The more she pushed, the more worried the scientists became. Can she progress the baby from her womb? Will it even fit? Another few pushes went by, luckily there was forward movement of the babies foot from the cervix and into the vagina, but only a little. Progressing these large babies was going to be a difficult task. 

  As for Kara she was just starting to feel like pushing. Kara loved that she could see what was happening inside her. Her babies head was now engaged and she patiently waited to begin the pushing progress. Total elapsed time since induction for the group was now about 4 hours. The inductions pills rapidly increased labor and dilation time, but would obviously not help with the pushing. For that simply time, effort, and stretching had to take place. Kara reached down with her hand at felt inside of her vagina. She felt back as far as she could, but she could not feel her babies head. The baby was simply too far inside yet. She looked over to see Angel, Angel was clearly in a bit of pain and was progressing her baby quickly. Angel was also birthing a breech baby, but she was progressing faster then Kate. Meanwhile, Kara, Luna, And Molly had normal births and were progressing slowly as they needed to get the big babies heads through first. At this point, no girl had yet seen any outward signs of their babies. Now time was progressing, but the births weren’t. The girls continued working and pushing for about 12 hours, not a single girl in any of group 1 had seen bulging, water break, or outward signs yet. 

Up in the tower scientists started to deliberate on their next move. Dr. Karen's was starting to bring up the idea of manually Breaking the girls water to help speed up the pushing process. This was eventually decided against as the babies were so big and would take so long to birth, that breaking the water could risk them. As long as they were within the water sac they would be safe. Now twenty four hours had passed. Still no real outgoing progress from any of group 1. Kara looked intently at her screen to see her babies head. After 24 hours now she had not seen any movement of the baby whatsoever. She could feel her baby kicking so she knew it was ok. But it was stuck well within her. 

“Come on little man.” She whispered. 

Just as she whispered Angel made a noise.

“aahhhh, owwwww ahhhhh!” She moaned. 

Angel was sitting on a birth stool and making small pushes. The other girls made their way over to the birth stools to see if Angel was making progress. Angels screen camera now moved further into her vagina, she was making progress. A little foot could be seen on camera. The other girls gathered around closely to watch her screen. Angel reached a hand down and inserted a  finger into her opening. She pushed in a bit and made contact with the babies foot!

“Oh there he is, I can feel his foot!” Angel announced. “It feels so big for a baby foot.” 

Just then Kate announced that he breech baby was moving as well. Up in the tower Dr. Karens that the scientists were in debate.

“It seems the breech babies are advancing faster.” One scientist said.

“This was unexpected.” Said Dr. Karens 

All the attention was now on Kate and Angel with their breech babies. The other girls with head first babies had made no progress whatsoever. Inside Kate a new development was happening. The babies feet were now being drawn back in her womb. The other girls watched on Kates live feed screen. The baby transitioned inside her womb to a Frank breech position (rump first). Kate pushed and now revealed the babies butt coming out of her womb, through the cervix and into her vagina. She was now committed to a Frank Breech. Meanwhile Angel was working through some pushes, About 30 minutes elapsed. Finally the first signs of birth were happening, Angel made a big push while pulling her legs back. The others watched in anticipation. A little baby toe appeared in her opening, when the pushed ended it went back inside. Her next push made the babies foot come out. Dr. Karens came down from the tower with one other scientist to get a closer look on the action. 

“We should probe it and get vitals.” Dr. Karens said.

Dr. Karens grabbed a probe from her lab coat. She touched the babies foot coming out of Angels opening. The instant she made contact with the foot, the baby squirmed and the foot withdrew back into Angels vagina.

“Oh my we have a shy one here!” Dr. Karens said. 

“Little guys not ready to come out of me yet.” Angel said. 

Dr. Karens and the scientist went back to the tower and left Angel to push some more. 

As Angel continued to push the footling breech baby, Kate was starting to make progress with the frank breech baby. Meanwhile the other girls with normal head first babies were making zero forward progress. 

Angel resumed pushing once more. the babies foot made another appearance, The next push revealed a leg. Angel got into a squat position as the leg was now dangling out from her. She pushed a few more times and managed the other leg. Angel now had two legs hanging from her vagina. The other girls marveled at just how large the baby was. Angel pushed a few more minutes and managed to get the baby out to its waist. The baby was huge! the babies waist was wide and filled angels opening beyond what was thought possible. Angel struggled a bit at the waist, but eventually the babies chest began to slide out. Now only the arms and chest remained inside Angels vagina. However the baby itself became very active. The baby began moving its legs and doing small tummy crunches as if trying to extricate itself.  Angel dealt with the pain as best she could. The heavy moving baby was a huge strain on her perineum. The next few pushes made the baby move, but little progress. Finally one should popped free. Then the other. Now just the head remained. Angel was on a birth stool so all of the babies weight was now being held on the babies head that was still inside Angel. She needed to move immediately for the bases safety. Two scientist came down from the tower to aid in the move. One grabbed the baby and held it while the other helped angel up. They laid angel on her back and rested the still stuck baby on the birthing pad. Now the weight was off the baby and Angel could focus on getting the head out. As Angel continued to try and free the stuck head form her vagina, the baby continued to be active and move. It wanted out, but angel couldn’t quite push the head free yet. 

Meanwhile Kate was starting her one battle with her frank breech baby. She was in a squatting position as the other girls watched her each and every push, waiting to see the babies rump come out. It had been about 2 hours now since the baby had switched positions inside of her. Each push showed the baby moving on her live feed screen. It would soon begin coming out. 

For Angel each moment began feeling like eternity. she could feel her almost born abby struggle to try and free itself from her vagina. Only the head remained inside her vagina. She pushed, wiggled, and tried for over an hour, but the large head wasn’t coming. Finally two scientists came down from the tower. 

“We fear that the baby could be under extreme stress with its head bing stuck.” One scientist said. 

“We need to get that head out.” The other said. 

One scientist grabbed a bottle from her lab coat. It was lubricant. She put a bunch in her hand and began rubbing it around Angels opening, she pushed the lubricant up and around the babies head inside Angels vagina, making an effort to lubricate the opening as best as possible to help the baby slip out. Angel tried a few pushes but with no luck. The girls gathered around angel for support. Even Kate who was trying to push out her breech baby waddled over to watch. The scientists attempted more lube, but no results. 

Dr. Karens arrived from the tower.

“We need to extricate this baby soon, It is under stress.” She said. 

Two scientists grabbed the baby and began giving it a slight pull as Angel pushed. The head of the baby made angel bulge farther than anyone thought possible. The head was so stuck! 

“PULL!” Dr. Karens said.

The scientists pulled hard as Angel pushed with everything she had. Finally in one huge gush of fluids the head came free. Everyone stared in awe at the size of the baby. Angel and the baby were immediately taken for farther testing and examination. 

Next it was Kates turn. She was making some progress. Each push now revealed the babies rump in her opening. She was getting to the point where each push was revealing the entire rump of the baby, But it continued to slide back in after every attempt. Just then an alarm went off on Kates live feed. The babies vitals were slipping. 5 scientists rushed from the tower and down to Kate. Dr Karens followed as well.

“Ok times limited, we need to get the baby out!” Karens stated 

“The baby may be too big to fit out this way.” One scientists stated. “We must correct the position to a footling.” 

Two scientists gloved up and inserted hands into Kates vagina. One pushed the babies rump back up inside while the other was trying to locate the leg and pull one down. The scientists struggled as Kate struggled in agony. Finally after 5 minutes the scientists managed to free a leg. Now the baby was footling breech. Kate was instructed to push hard. The scientists pulled on the babies leg until the other came free. Now they pulled hard to get the baby out. The rump and the waist came free, the chest was next. Kate pushed hard as the scientists pulled. The shoulders came free next. Then the battle for the head began. Two scientists lubricated Kates opening and joined in the extrication efforts. Kate pushed as hard as possible as the scientists pulled. This battle went on for ten minutes till finally the head came free. Kate was carted off for further testing and examination. 

Now remained the girls with the normal head first babies. None had made any progress. Kara, Molly and Luna, now just patiently awaited their turns to push…. To Be Continued. 

[justicegundam82]

Pathfinder 2E to 1E Conversion: Karina

Here I am, back with a new conversion.

The Karina is a creature that comes from the book The Mwangi Expanse. I thought it was a fairly cool and rather uncomplicated creature, so I decided to try my hand at converting it. As always, please let me know what I can do to get better at this! XD

KARINA

Image (c) Paizo Publishing. Accessible at the Archives of Nethys here

This odd creature looks like an oversized owl with reddish-brown feathers, but its face has an intense, malevolent look to it. It has a pair of human-like arms, ending in taloned fingers.

KARINA CR 5

XP 1’600

NE Large Outsider (native)

Init +5; Senses darkvision 120 ft., low-light vision; Perception +14

DEFENSE

AC 19, touch 14, flat-footed 14 (+5 Dex, +5 natural, -1 size)

hp 51 (6d10+18)

Fort +8, Ref +7, Will +6

Damage Reduction 5 / good; Spell Resistance 16

OFFENSE

Speed 10 ft., fly 60 ft. (average)

Melee bite +9 (1d8+4 plus disease), 2 claws +9 (1d6+4 plus disease); or 2 talons +10 (1d6+4 plus grab)

Special Attacks grab, grave blight, mocking cry

STATISTICS

Str 19, Dex 20, Con 16, Int 7, Wis 12, Cha 19

Base Atk +6; CMB +11 (+15 grapple); CMD 26

Feats Deceitful, Flyby Attack, Weapon Focus (talon)

Skills Acrobatics +14, Bluff +12 (+20 to mimic voices), Fly +9, Perception +14, Stealth +10; Racial Modifiers +4 Perception

Languages Abyssal, Common, Infernal (cannot speak)

Special Qualities sound mimicry

ECOLOGY

Environment warm forests

Organization solitary, pair or trio

Treasure standard

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Grave Blight (Ex): Disease, bite or claw – injury; save Fort DC 16; onset 1 day; frequency 1/day; effect 1d3 Con damage and 1d3 Wis damage plus confused for 1 day; cure 2 consecutive saves. Grave blight manifests itself through fever, gray patches on the skin, disorientation and, at later stages, an innate urge to attack others and spread the disease. Anyone who touches a victim sufffering from grave blight must make a Fortitude save (DC 14) or contract the disease as well. The save DC is Constitution-based

Mocking Cry (Su): As a swift action once per round, a karina can choose to demoralize a single creature who failed to see through its sound mimicry (see below). The creature is affected as though by a crushing despair spell (-2 penalty on attack rolls, saving throws, ability checks, skill checks, and weapon damage rolls) for the duration of 1 minute. Whether or not the creature succeeds at their saving throw, they cannot be affected by the same karina’s docking cry again for 24 hours.

Sound Mimicry (Ex): As general monster rules; a karina can mimic any voice they have heard.

A karina, also known as a plague bird, is a sinister creature whose goal is to spread pestilence and cause communities to collapse. A deeply sadistic creature, a karina lurks in the wilderness surrounding small cities and villages, waiting for a potential victim to attack and infect with the foul disease carried by their beaks and claws. They usually attract their victims by mimicrying the voices of the victim’s friends or loved ones, infect the victim and then retreat. They repeat this process a few times, enjoying themselves as the newly diseased fall to madness and spread their pestilence further, potentially destroying entire cities unless something is done to halt the progress of the malady.

The karina’s malevolence and unnatural behavior suggests an extraplanar origin for them. The most popular hypotesis posits them as creations of either Urgathoa or Apollyon, but other theories counter that karinas were born from the souls of the first mortals that murdered and cannibalized one of their kind. The fact that karinas have a habit of stealing corpses from graveyards in order to feed on them gives credence to this theory, but nothing is known for certain, and the karinas are not interested in clarifying.

A karina is usually about 10 feet tall, but is relatively light for its size. They are usually solitary creatures, but they sometimes join forces with a few more of their kind in order to better terrorize a town.

[bachissidehoe]

the introduction

chapter 1 of it's classy not classic. [bachisagi]

Though it’s already been a day, the buzzed feeling of scoring yet another game winning goal still sits fresh in Isagi Yoichi’s mind. It’s not a new feeling, but it’s one he can’t live without. The sound of the ball hitting the back of the net is his white noise that helps him sleep at night, his alarm that wakes him up in the morning, his motivation for living this life. Nothing can even compare to it, and time and time again he’s been shown that very few people understand what that’s like. He’s only met a few people like him in his lifetime, many of them from Blue Lock over 5 years ago.

Being the current number 1 striker in the world comes with its fair share of responsibilities that don’t involve constant focus on the game, which is honestly insane to Isagi. He recalls his coach, Noel Noa, talking with him before about the expectations society has for famous people. Interviews, charities, parties, way too many things that aren’t simply being on the field. Isagi would much prefer not to do any of this stuff. 

But today is one of those days where an interview is required. Though he hates it, he’s made sure to put substantial effort into maintaining positivity. The last thing he wants is unneeded negative attention that distracts from the game itself. When Isagi solidified his dream of becoming the number 1 striker, he did not expect it would come with all of this garbage. 

Regardless, he’s learned to be fine with it, even though it is fairly confusing to someone like him. 

“So Isagi Yoichi, what do you tend to do to wind down after a big game like the one yesterday?” The interviewer asks, staring at him with a fake smile and perhaps the brightest pair of blue eyes he’s ever seen. She does look like someone who should be a TV personality, he understands why she became a successful sports journalist. 

“Well, I usually just go back to my apartment and review the match, then try to get plenty of sleep.” He answers. The bland truth. 

“Hm. No celebratory food or drink? Hanging out with anyone?” 

“I mean, sometimes.” He adds a fake chuckle. He’s practiced that one for a while.

“Ah, so do you have anyone special in your life, a girlfriend perhaps?” The interviewer continues.

Isagi rakes his fingers through his slicked back raven hair, shifting a bit in his seat. This question again huh? It’s asked constantly, it makes him wonder if people care about the game or they just want some drama. According to Itoshi Rin, who also gets asked the same thing quite a lot, it’s something society assumes when someone decently attractive reaches a certain age. At age 22 and apparently of above average attractiveness (though Isagi can’t see it), the world expects that he’d have someone he’s dating or interested in. It doesn’t make much sense to Isagi.

Plus, he’s answered the question probably a thousand times (an exaggeration, but it certainly feels like a thousand), how many different answers should he give until they stop asking?

“Oh, I don’t really, like-” He pauses, realizing he’s probably flushed. It’s an embarrassing question. “Girls. Or anything like that.” He finishes with a sigh, flashing a light smile afterward. 

The entire interview process has always been something stressful for Isagi. He feels his heart race in a bad way, he hates sitting backstage in a fancy suit and tie with makeup on his face that just makes him feel heavy. But he’s been lucky enough to never have said anything in an interview that turned out to be harmful or provoke a negative response from anyone. He’d like to keep it that way. 

He assumes he completed this interview easily as well, since the interviewer didn’t seem to react negatively to anything he said. The exhaustion from the interview is enough to make him more tired than any physically grueling game he’s ever played, enough to force his tired body directly into his bed the minute he gets home. Somehow, Isagi finds that talking to unfamiliar people is way more exhausting than physically exerting himself for hours of intense gameplay. 

It’s over though, the interview thing. At least until Noa sets him up for another one. 

Or. 

That’s what he thought happened. 

Isagi sees the light of day through his tired blue eyes, waking up to the sounds of the repeated vibration of his phone invading his dreamy state. He groggily reaches over, his heavy hand collapsing on his bedside table to rummage for his phone. Within seconds, he’s wide awake, his pupils expanding further by the second as he processes the hundreds of posts, mentions, and calls he’s received in the last twelve hours. 

The first thing he does is open a message from Noa, mumbling it to himself as he reads, purely out of shock for what it contains. 

Noel Noa: Isagi, I’m proud to hear about your wholesome coming out story in yesterday’s interview. Though I wish we discussed this before the interview itself, I want you to know that I’m happy for you. 

Fuck.

What the fuck is he talking about?

Isagi rolls out of bed, pacing back and forth as he reads some of his Twitter mentions.

Bravepurple: not @isagiyoichi coming out yesterday omg. I mean we all figured but…

Puffinxconcretex: WAHT this is HUGE FOR JAPAN LGBT!!!! @isagiyoichi

Darksnowy67: look at him aakahihighih he’s so cute ab it too i would diE FOR HIM @isagiyoichi 

Um_actually_: no but fr, having a gay soccer player is big for us @isagiyoichi 

Holy shit. 

Holy shit. Holy shit. HOLY SHIT. 

Isagi paces, his shaky hands scrolling endlessly through mentions and posts of support and congratulations. They’re all quote tweeting one single clip from his interview. The one where he didn’t even realize exactly what he said. 

He opens the short clip, the sound of his own voice blaring through his phone’s speakers.

“Oh, I don’t really like girls, or anything like that.” 

“Really? That’s nice to hear! Good for you!” 

“Thanks. Yeah, all that stuff can be stressful, but I’m happy where I’m at now.” 

Isagi Yoichi- had no idea he was coming across that way. Now, hearing it back, he totally came out as gay to that interviewer. 

Fuck, bro. 

He runs his fingers through his hair, still sticky with gel from yesterday. He really should take a shower. Maybe it’ll help him calm down. 

At least everyone’s overwhelmingly supportive right? There are way more comments expressing happiness and support for his bravery than people against it. Thinking about it broadly, if Isagi were to make any mistake, he’s glad it’s one where society is in support of him. He should just post something and clear it up, express gratitude for the support but he didn’t mean it that way, what he meant to express was that he’s not looking for a relationship, not that he’s gay. 

As he steps out of his hot shower, beads of water dripping from his soppy hair, he fully realizes the gravity of the situation he’s caused. In his approximately 10 minute shower, his notifications have nearly doubled, an article has been released, and this fake coming out story has gone viral beyond his belief. 

He can’t help but read the article, which forces him to completely disregard the idea of being honest about it. The article in question, published by a popular pop culture magazine, details the importance of sports maintaining representation of LGBTQ+ members. With Isagi’s story, they’re slowly breaking down the walls of sports being a “straights only” activity. The article warns, however, that queer baiting is a harmful practice, and cautions organizations from trying to appeal to different communities using this tactic. 

Queer baiting. 

Huh. 

Isagi’s never heard of that term, but upon looking it up, yeah. That’s exactly what he’d be accused of doing if he were to come clean. Turns out that relaxing shower just put him right back where he began. 

He should head out, go for a walk, maybe go practice. Anything but doom scroll through supportive messages that are based on a complete miscommunication. 

He sighs to himself, moving to check Instagram instead. Maybe the news hasn’t made it over there yet. 

Upon opening the app, the first picture he sees is that of a familiar face. It’s Bachira Meguru, an old friend of Isagi’s from Blue Lock, at the game from the other day. He didn’t even realize Bachira was there, he should have reached out. It would have been nice to catch up. Bachira was always fun to be around during their time at Blue Lock, they played great together and enjoyed each other’s company. He was one of the few people Isagi ever met that shared his love for soccer so intensely. One of the only ones to ever understand.

The two of them still talk occasionally, but not enough for Isagi to know anything about what Bachira’s doing now. Maybe it would be helpful to get some advice from him, Bachira would probably understand the situation Isagi’s gotten himself into. He really can’t go to his coach or his teammates- asking someone on the outside might be his best option.

He takes a breath and decides to go for it. 

Isagi Yoichi: Hey man! You were at the game the other day?

Within seconds, Bachira replies. That guy surely doesn’t miss a beat.

Bachira Meguru: Hiiii, yeah I was there. Great game!

Isagi Yoichi: I didn’t even realize you were in Tokyo, you should have told me lol

Bachira Meguru: yea im here for work for a while

Isagi Yoichi: damn no way! Where are you staying?

Bachira Meguru: IMG602.heic

Bachira Meguru: not far from the stadium actually, im exploring today

It’s a selfie of Bachira holding up a peace sign in front of a cafe. It looks like he quickly snapped the picture, it’s even a little blurry. But he wears a wide smile, the same silly smile he always had on his face back in the Blue Lock days. Isagi can’t help but smile himself, Bachira’s attitude always brightened him up. As Isagi looks at the picture more, he realizes that he’s actually quite familiar with the cafe Bachira currently stands in front of. In fact, it’s about a block away from his apartment. 

Isagi Yoichi: no way you’re at Honeybee? I live right down the street from there

Bachira Meguru: ayyy! Come meet me!

Honestly, this is perfect. This will help Isagi talk this out with someone who isn’t connected to the situation, and also connect with an old friend. Out of all the surprises he’s experienced so early in the morning, this one is at least positive. 

“Isagi!” Bachira calls out, noticing him first. 

He looks…stylish? Much better with his sense of style than Isagi remembers. He wears a fitted beanie with a pair of baggy slacks and an oversized sweater with a collared shirt underneath. He still has those same yellow highlights, he’s had them for so long Isagi’s starting to wonder if they’re natural. 

“Hi Bachira!” He jogs up to his old friend, going for a handshake but getting an excited hug instead. He should have expected that much, Bachira really hasn’t changed a bit. 

“Great to see ya, I figured you’re busy, so I didn’t let you know I was around or anything.” His golden eyes are bright and cheerful, same old Bachira Meguru. Just a ray of chaotic sunshine.

“Nah, I would have loved to see you, I’m so glad you made it to the game.” 

“It was a great one. Made me wish I was out there.” He smiles, much softer this time. 

Isagi sighs. “Yeah, me too. I bet you could still out dribble me any day.” He chuckles.

“You sure about that, egoist?” 

“Oh stop, I escaped that prison, it’s everything in me not to shake in fear every time I think about it.” Isagi jokes, sitting down across from Bachira at a little table outside the cafe. 

This is one of Isagi’s favorite cafes, he often grabs smoothies and snacks from here after practice.

“You’ll never escape it, MWAH HAHA!” Bachira exclaims, dramatic as ever. 

“So what are you doing now?” Isagi changes the topic, scanning the menu while speaking as if he doesn’t already have the thing memorized.

“I’m an artist, carried on the family business in a sense.” He explains. “What should I get?” He asks, referring to the menu.

“I always get the strawberry kiwi delight, I’m not too big on coffee.” Isagi points to his selection on the menu.

“Ah, I don’t drink caffeine either, I’ve been told it would make me overpowered.” He jokes. “I was between the strawberry kiwi one or the passionfruit?” 

“That one’s great too.” 

“Okay, I’ll get that if you let me have a sip of yours.” 

“Yeah, of course.” Isagi says, walking to the counter to place the orders for the both of them, only to return a few minutes later with the drinks, Bachira waiting eagerly to chug the fruit smoothie. “So how’d you even get into art? I know your mom’s also an artist, but you never seemed interested in it.” He takes his seat once again, sipping on his drink. 

“I was so bored without soccer, I had to do something.” Bachira laughs, reaching for Isagi’s drink. 

Isagi hands it over, watching as Bachira takes a short sip. 

“I like yours better.” He sighs. 

“You can have more if you want.” Isagi chuckles. Somehow, he’s always felt like he’s babysitting Bachira in a way, and even six years later, it hasn’t changed at all. He still acts like a glorified elementary schooler, but this time with money. Apparently, being a famous artist pays damn well. 

“Yippee!” He snatches Isagi’s strawberry kiwi drink, trading him for the passionfruit smoothie. Isagi doesn’t mind, he’d rather Bachira be happy. “Oh, by the way, I heard you’re gay?” 

Isagi almost spits out his drink.

“I, uh-” 

“Hah! It’s fine!” Bachira giggles.

“No, I actually kinda wanted to bring that up, because I’m actually not gay.” Isagi blurts out, rushing through the sentence before Bachira can congratulate him too much. 

“Uh, what? I saw that clip-” 

“No see that’s the thing. I didn’t mean that. I meant to say I don’t want a relationship, I didn’t realize it was coming out like that.” 

“Hm, “coming out” like that.” Bachira chuckles.

Isagi sighs. He’s never been able to tell if Bachira has a serious bone in his entire body. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Bachira takes another sip of Isagi’s drink. “I believe you, why didn’t you just say you didn’t mean it?” 

“I was going to, then I realized people might get upset about queer baiting- or whatever it’s called- and I don’t want negative drama…” He trails off.

“I see your predicament.” 

The two fall into a silence. It leads Isagi to wonder what exactly has gone on in Bachira’s life since Blue Lock. Clearly he’s doing very well for himself, but it almost makes him feel bad that he wouldn’t keep in touch. And here they are, just picking right up where they left off. 

“I feel like maybe the best thing to do is wait it out. People will get over it eventually. Then you can bring it back up later if you do ever want to get into a relationship and need to clear it up, that way the drama has already died down.” Bachira suggests. 

“Hm. Yeah.” Isagi ponders. It does make sense just to wait it out. It feels disingenuous, but the entire thing is already just a lie anyway. Waiting until things die down may be his best bet. Maybe later he can “realize” he’s bisexual instead, in case he ever does get with a girl. But that’s so far down the road that he feels like that’s a bridge he doesn’t have to worry about crossing right now. “That’s actually a lot simpler than I thought.” 

“You can count on me to have the best ideas about everything.” Bachira giggles, taking another long swig of his- well Isagi’s- drink.

++++++

Isagi feels much better about his situation by the time he goes to sleep that night- talking things out with Bachira was definitely helpful for his mental state. 

But waking up the next morning feels like a repeat of the day before, notifications buzzing in his ear over and over before he can even realize it’s morning. It feels like he’s traveled back in time to yesterday. 

But this time, perhaps it’s worse. 

As he opens his phone, he realizes it definitely just got worse. 

LATEST: #1 Striker Isagi Yoichi is dating Pop Culture Artist Bachira Meguru

[positivelyadhd]

Thank you for that sps post 💗 I have high intelligence but below average processing speed and its such a conflict in my brain. I dont think many people realize just how much of a problem sps can be, especially when they can't even tell you have it 😞

i'm so glad it helped anon <3

i expereince the same, my processing speed is very below average but my intelligence is higher and i found those things kind of balanced each other out?

it's largely the reason i couldn't get any support for my ND until i was in sixth form (16/17), because teachers would see that i wasn't failing my exams so clearly i didn't need any support?

learning about what having a slow processing speed means how it impacts us has helped me a lot with being kinder to myself.

I think that society places way too much importance on the ability to do things quickly and really sucks how little people seem to understand it? Since leaving school and working in retail I've found my sps has been the most difficult thing, not because I find it difficult but because people around me seem to struggle to understand it?

so many people seem to think that if they point out someone is taking a while to do something they'll just speed up. like it's something that a person can control? or that everyone does things at the same speed and if someone takes longer to do something than them then they must've been wasting time or not doing it right.

it's the thing i've always been insecure about because it's the thing i've always been so aware i sturggle with it and get told to get better at. it's upsetting and frustrating to have to try and explain that i can't. that yeah it must be a little annoying you had to wait 10 minutes for me to complete a task you would've done in 5 five, but this is my life, everything takes me longer and no matter how hard i try i can't change that.

it has felt so isolating, to know the world works faster than I can, so i'm glad to hear i'm not alone. i'm sending you love anon <33

[dosnotoevsky]

topic of rant: the unnecessary hatred that "toppers" get

don't even get me started on the whole stereotyped notion that people have towards students who are nailing it, esp in a brown household and society.

1. Do you understand what a 9 CGPA is? THAT TOO IN ESTEEMED GOVERNMENT UNIVERSITIES??? THAT TOO, THE MAIN CAMPUS??? no. You don't. you also don't know how a 9.0 is generalized in a middle class Indian household. it is excruciating that you keep running your arse against sand paper and when nobody takes interest in knowing how much you scored and you go and show them on your own, they be like "I knew you could do it" like?????? 😃 YOU DID NOT KNOW IT. WHILE I WAS STUDYING YOU KEPT COMPLAINING HOW I DONT HELP YOU WITH THE HOUSEHOLD CHORES AND JUST KEPT MYSELF BUSY WITH MY BOOKS. YOU DID NOT KNOW SHIT FAMILY. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU TOOK INTEREST IN MY ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENTS DO YOU KNOW THE RESPECT IVE GAINED IN THE EYES OF THE BEST PROFESSORS AND HOW THE WORST ONES KEEP TARGETTING ME??? but you knew it.

2. I keep seeing these reels wherein the so called influencers act like "toppers" (BECAUSE THEY CAN ONLY ACT LIKE ONE) and do the stereotyped scene of how toppers lie about how they're studying. DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE EVIL EYE THINGY? ITS BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE THESE INFLUENCERS WE DONT BOAST ABOUT OUR SCHEDULE BECAUSE IT SCARES US BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY WE ARE INDIANS AND SOMEWHERE IN OUR HEARTS THESE KINDA SUPERSTITIONS ARE DEEPLY-ROOTED. Aur kahi toh tumlog "Nazar shit is real" kehke cool ban jate ho what happens to y'all while talking about this??? Fucking hypocrites.

3. It is appreciable if you work hard on yourself and rise from say, a 4 gpa to an 8.5, in Desi terms, "zero se hero banna" BUT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HERO BANE REHNA IS AN EMOTIONALLY DRAINING JOB?? NO.

4. "Are tum to B.A wale ho." NAHI, HM WO LOG H JINHONE APNI POTENTIAL KE HISAB SE APNE INTERESTS KO CONSIDER KARTE HUYE EK CAREER CHOOSE KIYA WHERE WE'RE NAILING IT. unlike you, jo drop leke kuch naa ukhaad paane ke baad bhi "at least I tried" bolke pvt colleges me admission leke ek 8 bhi nahi laa pate. unlike you, we don't regret our choice, unless it wasn't your choice iykyk.

5. "But nobody forced you to throw yourself into too much study." Sis, unlike you, we're actually trying to improve ourselves and manage to at least excel at one good thing. unlike you, we're actually doing something to make our lives better. unlike you, we don't whore around the campus and club during the entire semester only to cry during exams and give excuses based on baseless criticism of the "toppers" of whom we're just insecure and jealous because they're actually good.

6. It is exhausting. The entire process. Esp when you don't get appreciated enough. This feeling of insecurity and envy is everywhere among everyone we're surrounded with. People think we must be proud. But even if we are, is there something wrong with it? They are ready to criticize us the moment we suffer a minute downfall. Remember Shylock's monologue from The merchant of Venice? Replace the Jew and Christian words with topper and average/below average students. It's that deep. If mocking us behind our backs and bitching about us when some of us are really kind and try to mingle with you, help you out - gives you peace, so be it. But please do not stereotype our efforts like that. Do not spread anymore negative emotions towards us. It honestly doesn't help any better.

[aggressiveviking]

cabbage stew the way i make it

If you ask me why am making this a huge post with pictures, i don't have an answer 😂 just want to share it with a friend

So we start off with the cabbage, obviously. For this I can use fresh or fermented/pickled cabbage. in this picture im using fermented cabbage. Cut it up any way you like it (also I remove the middle stem but it's edible even if u leave it in). This is how I do it.

You get your pot. I usually fill half of it with cabbage, or a lil bit over half cause u don't want it to overflow when it starts to cook. Like so.

If your cabbage is fresh then this amount would shrink up to at least half. As this one is fermented its already shriveled up and it's as much as it would be by the end.

Then you can put some pork, chopped in pieces. You can choose how much or even if you want meat in it. Its still nice even without meat.

It nicer to put in fattier meat because cabbage cause more flavor. I make like 1 layer of it over the cabbage - that's for measurement more than being important for the cooking process.

This is how a chop it and how much I put in.

After that is the onion and the garlic. One big onion would be enough, but if u don't have that size mix and match a few depending on how big they are. I did one medium and one small for this batch, cause it looked right to me 😂 For the garlic 3 or 4 cloves, depending on how big they are. slice them. for some reason i feel like its better than leaving them whole, have flavor everywhere,

chop them up like this and i spread them over the meat, because for some reason i believe onion on top of the meat would make the meat softer.

For tomato I usually use tomato paste. when its this concentrated kind i used like 2 spoonfuls, this much. Prefer to mix that with a little water, like so and i pour it over everything.

Sprinkle some sweet red pepper, enough to cover the whole thing on top but not too much cause its gonna taste powdery 😂 and a few shakes of black pepper, just to have it in there.

Add some vegetable oil. I use sunflower oil but any regular oil would do as long as it doesn't have a strong taste. I usually add around maybe 4 or 5 big spoons. Don't really measure it. Cabbage can take a lot of oil anyway, but too much gets too heavy in my opinion.

and lastly add some bay leaf. very important, wouldn't taste the same without it. I put around 3 average sized bay leaves. 4 if they're really small. 2 if they're big. again just go with what feels right.

i then cook this in a multi-cooker (rice cooker) on STEW setting for 40 minutes, but you can do the same on a stove top. I think 40 min would be enough as well. I mean it's cabbage. you just cook it until its soft.

You don't need to add water to it cause the cabbage has a lot of water in it and it's gonna come out when u cook it on its own. If u start to see it burning in the bottom tho u can add a lil water

When it's done just stir it all up.

Either eat it as is, like a stew or lay it out on a pan/tray and bake it some in the oven.

It's like the best winter meal, especially when u put a lil chili in. I actually ate it today with sambal. Usually just use chili flakes or a chili pepper on the side that u just bite into. Mixed half a spoonful of sambal with my plate and it was so nice.

[traumatisedspider]

MORE FAMILY MEANS MORE INCORRECT QUOTES.

@repo-maniac @valentino-moth-man @vox-tv-demon @ask-velvette

Val: Are you coming to bed?  Vox: I can't. This is important.  Val: What?  Vox: Someone is wrong on the internet.

Vox: What do we say when life disappoints us?  MJ: Called it!  Vox: No.

MJ: Good morning!  Vox: Is it? Is it really?

Velvette: Could you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?  MJ : *crouches down*  Vox: *kneels down*  Repo: *sits on the floor*  Velvette:  Velvette: I hate all of you.

MJ : We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.  Val: ... Your what?  MJ : My friends.  Velvette: Are they saying “friends”?  Vox: I think they're being sarcastic.  Repo: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, MJ ! All of your friends are in this room.

Val: Which one of you was going to tell me that tea tastes different if you put it in hot water??  Vox: Y- you were putting it in cold water??  Velvette: Val. Answer the question, Val.  Val: Yeah??? I thought people just put it in hot water to speed up the tea-ification process. didn't realize there was an actual reason.  Val: Plus you think I have the patience to boil water?  Vox: You don't have the patience to microwave water for 3 minutes??  Velvette: Why are you putting it in the microwave to boil it?  Vox: Do you think I have the patience to boil water on the stove?  Velvette: It takes less than a minute.  Vox: Is your stovetop powered by the fucking sun???  Velvette: How long does it take you to boil a cup of water on the stove?  Vox: Like seven minutes??  Repo: Just stick the mug on top of the stove on medium heat and it boils in like 2 minutes... less than that if you use a saucepan!  Velvette: Why are you putting the whole mug on the stove?? On medium heat?? Repo? Your stove is enchanted!  Val: Every single person here is a fucking lunatic.  MJ : Do none of you own a fucking kettle?!

Vox & Val: Surprise! We're having a baby!  MJ : What?!  Vox & Val: *pull out adoption papers* It's you!

Vox, staring at MJ in a cage: ...Why are they in a cage?  Val: Because they growled at me.

Val: The ritual. To preform it requires a sacrifice.  MJ : Sacrifice? I nominate Velvette.  Velvette: Wait, what?  MJ : Because you're little, you'll fit on a barbecue.  Velvette: I'm 5'9, it's like average height in most of the world!  Val: Its not that kind of of sacrifice guys!

Vox: What are you writing?  Val: The government wants to know what kind of weapons we have in the house. I'm letting them know it's private information.  Velvette, looking over Val's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

Val: But what about MJ ?  Repo: Don't worry about them.  Repo: I once watched them fall down 5 flights of stairs, stand up, and keep eating their hotdog like nothing happened.

Velvette: *gets a text* Oh! It’s Vox.  MJ , excitedly: Did they get me the stuff?  Velvette: Yeah, they say they got you the clown costume, the power drill, and 12 gallons of blood.  MJ : Wow! Where’d they find 12 gallons of fake blood?  Velvette: You wanted fake blood?  MJ :  Velvette: I’ll go call Vox.

[sarkariresultdude]

Engineering Recruitment Results: A Comprehensive Report

 Recruitment for engineering roles is a vital interest that guarantees the organization's technical competencies align with its strategic goals. This file analyzes the effects of a recent engineering recruitment marketing campaign, detailing the tactics, key metrics, observations, and strategic guidelines for development.

Engineering Recruitment Results

Overview of the Recruitment Process

The recruitment marketing campaign spanned 3 months, from [Insert Start Date] to [Insert End Date], focused on key engineering roles consisting of software program engineers, mechanical engineers, and structures engineers. The intention changed to fill 15 open positions to aid ongoing and new tasks in innovation, product development, and operational performance.

Stages of Recruitment

The recruitment technique is divided into six key tiers:

Needs Assessment: Identification of competencies gaps and introduction of unique activity descriptions.

Sourcing: Utilizing various channels together with online activity boards, company websites, referrals, and recruitment agencies.

Screening: Initial evaluation of 820 programs based totally on qualifications, experience, and talents.

Interviews: Conducting technical, behavioral, and cultural healthy checks.

Offer Negotiations: Aligning candidate expectations with organizational budgets and benefits.

Onboarding: Seamlessly integrating selected applicants into their respective teams.

Key Metrics and Results

The recruitment pressure noticed fantastic successes and demanding situations, summarized inside the following metrics:

Applications Received: 820

Relevant Applications: 480 (fifty eight.Five%)

Non-Relevant Applications: 340 (forty one.5%)

Screening and Shortlisting:

Candidates Shortlisted for Interviews: a hundred and fifty (31% of applicable applications)

Average Time to Screen an Application: 2 days in step with utility.

Interviews Conducted:

Technical Interviews: 95

Behavioral Interviews: eighty (a few candidates required more than one round)

Final Round Interviews: forty

Offer Conversion Rate:

Offers Extended: 20

Offers Accepted: 15 (75% acceptance rate)

Diversity Metrics:

Female Applicants: 25% of overall packages

Female Hires: 6 out of 15 (forty%)

Time-to-Hire:

Average Time-to-Hire: forty-five days in line with the role

Fastest Time-to-Hire: 25 days

Longest Time-to-Hire: 60 days

Cost of Recruitment:

Total Recruitment Cost: $60,000

Average Cost per Hire: $4,000

Insights and Observations

The recruitment process discovered several insights that could tell destiny strategies:

Talent Pool Quality:

While the entire range of programs became robust, approximately 42% of the candidates had been now not a good health. This suggests a need to refine task postings and improve focus on strategies.

Candidate Engagement:

A majority of candidates expressed high-quality feedback about the enterprise’s set-off verbal exchange and based interviews. However, 10% referred to delays in remarks, impacting their notion of the hiring manner.

Diversity Efforts:

Diversity outcomes have been higher than anticipated, with women representing forty% of hires. However, the percentage of women making use of for roles remains lower than preferred, highlighting the want for targeted outreach.

Technical Assessment:

Technical interviews efficaciously identified excessive-ability candidates but had been time-intensive. The average length of every technical interview turned into 90 minutes, adding to the overall time-to-hire.

Competitive Market:

Several candidates declined due to higher repayment packages from competitors. This emphasizes the want to re-examine income benchmarks and beautify non-financial advantages.

Onboarding Success:

The onboarding process was smooth, with new hires rating it a mean of 8.5/10 in a feedback survey. Early integration sports like mentorship assignments had been especially appreciated.

Challenges Faced

High Dropout Rates During Negotiations:

Five applicants were rejected throughout the negotiation phase, citing discrepancies in salary expectancies instead of offers made.

Prolonged Time-to-Hire:

Although the time-to-lease turned into inside industry requirements, delays passed off due to scheduling conflicts and extended background verification processes.

Limited Reach of Job Postings:

Despite leveraging multiple channels, certain niche roles like systems engineering had lower-than-expected applicant volumes.

Skills Gaps Among Applicants:

Many candidates lacked the specialized abilities required, especially in rising technologies such as AI, IoT, and renewable energy structures.

Strategic Recommendations

Enhance Job Descriptions and Posting Strategies:

Use statistics-pushed insights to craft precise job descriptions.

Partner with an area of interest process forums and enterprise institutions to reach specialized skills.

Leverage Technology in Screening:

Adopt AI-powered applicant tracking systems (ATS) to automate initial screening and prioritize excessive-capability applicants.

Improve Compensation Packages:

Conduct market benchmarking to ensure aggressive salaries are maintained.

Highlight non-economic blessings like bendy working alternatives and professional improvement packages.

Foster Diversity:

Partner with universities and companies promoting women in STEM.

Develop mentorship packages for underrepresented agencies.

Streamline Interview Processes:

Introduce pre-interview technical checks to lessen the wide variety of rounds.

Train interviewers to make approaches more green and candidate-friendly.

Reduce Time-to-Hire:

Optimize historical past tests by partnering with reliable verification groups.

Use online scheduling gear to decrease interview delays.

Strengthen Employer Branding:

Showcase the corporation’s culture, innovation, and career increase possibilities on social media and professional networks.

Share success stories of present-day personnel to inspire capacity applicants.

[howyoustudythestars]

I've sat on this for FAR too long... Here are my thoughts/review for "Coco Moon" by Owl City!

A while ago, I stated that I was planning to make a YouTube video discussing both the ARG and Coco Moon. However, life happened (as it always does), and while I haven't scrapped the idea per se, I do want to share my thoughts on the album sooner rather than later. So here are my thoughts on Coco Moon!

Warning: Long post ahead!

Shortly after the full album came out, Adam made a TikTok describing this album as perhaps his favorite one he has ever put out. And honestly, I can see why! On first listen, while I will admit the more religious elements threw me for a loop after the more secular-sounding singles (as well as the first time Adam said "hell" in any song), I can honestly say there wasn't a song that I disliked, which is a first for me. Even back to Ocean Eyes, there was at least one song that I didn't like, even if it wound up later growing on me. Dental Care, Kamikaze, Bombshell Blonde, Unbelievable, and of course, ALL MY FRIENDS were songs I didn't like for one reason or another upon first listen. Save for All My Friends, those songs have all grown on me. Thankfully, that hasn't happened on Coco Moon. I've liked all songs from the beginning, and my appreciation for the album has only grown with time.

If I have any criticism for the album, it would likely be the way the tracklist is arranged. I'm not sure if there is another way of reorganizing this album so it flows better (and I have tried several times), but my main gripe is that the album ends with My Muse. It's a bit like if Maybe I'm Dreaming ended on This is the Future. Without West Coast Friendship, you're just left yearning for the next song, and the album feels incomplete. That's how I feel with Coco Moon. I know the more likely complaint from critics regarding this album is the run time. While Cinematic suffers from the sheer number of songs on the album, Coco Moon's problem, according to some critics, is that nearly every song is too long. The average length of each song on Coco Moon is 5 minutes, but I think none of the songs overstay its welcome. And each song has something to offer.

The final thing I'll say before I dive into each song is that this seems to better capture the old-school Owl City magic and charm than Cinematic did. However, a lot of the songs are, in fact, story based. Cinematic is as well, but I think the main issue with Cinematic is that the songs are so literal that its hard to find entertaining, save for a few songs. HOWEVER, Coco Moon is much better at storytelling. Maybe it's because very few songs are autobiographical, or maybe Adam just improved as a songwriter. Whatever the case is, it's like he listened to some of the critiques on Cinematic and tweaked his process when creating the songs on Coco Moon. It's also easily one of the best produced albums from Adam. It's really a great listen.

The first song on the album is Adam, Check Please. I don't think it's strong as far as being the opening track on an album, but it's still a great song. I will say that as a single, I wasn't as fond of the song at first. It seemed to skirt too close to the Cinematic territory lyrically. However, the lyrics did grow on me the more I listened to it. You can see why in this Reddit post I made when the Studio Door opened for it: https://www.reddit.com/r/OWLCITY/comments/10m8ld1/my_take_on_the_lyrics_to_adam_check_please/

Adam, Check Please has a lot of tempo changes and is one of Adam's best produced tracks. All in all, it's a fun song and a great start to the album (even if it's not the best choice for that position in the tracklist).

That title should go to the next song, Under the Circus Lights. This is probably my favorite song from the album (but there are a lot more songs I really love). For starters, it feels like a Maybe I'm Dreaming track... between "the girl on the flying trapeze" sounding a bit like "a gymnast happily swinging on the uneven bars tucked in a somersault" (Super Honeymoon), the whimsical description of falling in love, and the slightly sad and heartbreaking twist at the end. Also, holy key changes, Batman! Adam once again shows his skills at producing songs. It's also one of the only songs who's Instagram post contains music similar to what's in the actual song its teasing. Upon first hearing ringmaster Adam saying, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most spectacular show on earth!", I immediately connected to Adam's tweet about this being the album it was meant to be. Plus, the scores influence is great. I dare you to find something bad about this song; it's epic and beautiful!

Then, there's Kelly Time, the other song who has music similar to its Instagram teaser. However, this was the first song where I noticed the mix is different from the single version. The harmonies are louder, and the final chorus has a synth choir playing chords, which is either not there or buried in the mix on the single version. But overall, it doesn't detract from the song. Only Adam could come up with the idea to retell the film Cast Away in song form from the perspective of Wilson the volleyball. Plus, the rap doesn't sound like a rap. I get a lot of All My Friends (Alt. Version) vibes from this track. It's like Adam listened to the criticism of All My Friends and created a track that's much better. Plus, it's the first time in a long time that I feel the lead single for the album fits. The last time I can think that happened is for Alligator Sky from All Things Bright and Beautiful. Other albums either had the better lead single as the second single instead (Vanilla Twilight and Shooting Star), or had songs that are forgettable (Verge) or downright irritating (All My Friends). Kelly Time nails it, and it best gives a representation of what the album is like and got people pumped for the then-upcoming album. Plus, the song was released 1504 days after his final tour appearance for the Cinematic tour. This makes the song sort of poetic. I don't know if that was the long-term plan or if it just happened, but I find it serendipitous.

Now, we get to Field Notes. If I'm being honest, after the three songs we've heard so far on the album (four if you count the final single Vitamin Sea), the religious message of the song threw me for a loop. All of those songs were secular, even if Kelly Time had some faith-based inspiration (if the commentary is anything to go by). As someone who has (mostly) stopped listening to Contemporary Christian music (with a few exceptions), I wasn't prepared for a more faith-based album. At least this song doesn't fall into the cliché worship song territory so many of today's Christian songs tend to fall in.

The other thing that I found... strange was Adam's use of the word "hell" in this song. I mean, it is a religious song, but the way it was used makes it sound less like it's referring to the literal place of hell and more so closer to using it as an expletive. Now, it's more innocent than other words, I will admit. It's not me becoming a Kidz Bop mom or anything like that. I just find it odd as someone who associates Adam and his music with innocence. I'm almost wondering if part of the reason Adam took so long to release the follow-up to Cinematic is because he was looking for a team to work with for Coco Moon. I can see many secular pop management teams turn him down for being too religious, and I can also see many religious agencies turn him down as well due to his use of the word "hell" here and in The Tornado. But at least Adam didn't start dropping F-bombs all over the place, so there's that. I also think Adam found the right team with Rise Up Artists. They have been very nice to me in my few times of brief correspondence with Adam's new manager. I hope he stays with them long-term.

But anyway, on the whole, Field Notes isn't that bad of a song. Adam really took one of Jesus's parables and told it with more space than it takes in the Gospel of Matthew:

“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and reburied; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field."

(Matthew 13:44 NRSVUE)

It's not as interesting of a song as others on the record, at least where the lyrics are concerned. However, right when you think the song is about to end, it instead transitions into what should be a brief instrumental interlude. And that interlude is impressive! It reminds me of some of the old-school instrumentals from Owl City's early discography. If there's any reason not to skip the song, it's this interlude!

But then we go from one of Adam's weakest Christian songs to his best one in Sons of Thunder. Yes, I didn't say "one of the best Christian songs from Adam"; I really mean that Sons of Thunder is Adam's BEST Christian song in his entire discography. There are many things I like about it. From its anthemic nature to some of the lyrics that really speak to me as an autistic Christian, it's probably my second favorite song from the entire album (but it's really close between this and Under the Circus Lights). Some of the lyrics I like include:

Oh, we are the odd music makers We are the dreamers of unusual dreams We all face the forces of nature But bravely, we'll take great leaps of faith

...and:

We are the heirs of adventure And we are explorers of wondrous, new worlds We are the gifted inventors And even though we are strange and exquisitely scarred We don't need to pretend to be anything we aren't

The latter is actually on my Facebook cover photo. That's how much this song speaks to me!

And before I continue on about this song, one thing I wish to address is the interpretation by some Christians that this song is referring to The Rapture. But I don't see it that way for a few reasons. For starters, in Adam's Instagram post about the song, he mentioned nothing about it. But perhaps the biggest reason is because I don't believe in The Rapture... At least as far as how some people interpret it. Yes, the world is going to end, and yes, Jesus is going to come again. There might even be a singular anti-Christ before the end comes. However, I describe my beliefs as amillennial. That means I don't believe in the traditional pre-millennial interpretation of the End Times (as in a pre-tribulation Rapture followed by the rein of the Anti-Christ for 7 years, then the return of Jesus, the Ressurection of all Believers, a literal 1000-year period of Jesus reigning on Earth, the defeat of Satan, the Resurrection of the Unbelievers, and the Final Judgment). Rather, I believe that the "1000-year reign" described in Revelation is symbolic of the current age, and when Jesus returns, the Resurrection of everyone (not just believers) will occur, and then the Final Judgment.

I actually find this more comforting and in line with what the Early Church believed. Consider the logic of Jefferson Bethke (the person behind the "Why I Hate Religion but Love Jesus" video), as described in his book It's Not What You Think: If the "core claim" of Christianity is something like "Jesus died for your sins, and if you believe that, you go to Heaven when you die," Romans wouldn't be persecuting Christians to the point of death to the extent described in the Book of Acts. But if the core claim of Christianity is "Jesus is King right now," that would imply to ancient Romans that Caesar is not King. That would be a bit like saying "Joe Biden isn't the President of the United States right now; Jesus is." (And believe me: It was especially helpful to remember that Jesus is on the Throne and in control of this world when someone like Trump was President.) And because to Christians, to die is to gain, the fear of death (the main cudgel of oppressive regimes like the Roman Empire) loses its power to control people. That's why ancient Romans were so opposed to Christianity in the 1st Century.

But I digress. I do see a lot of Heavenly imagery in Sons of Thunder. Indeed, the song reminds me of how important my faith is as an autistic Christian. As someone who constantly feels like an outsider or misfit in the world, who regularly needs to mask who they really are in an attempt to fit in, Sons of Thunder is a reminder that God sees who we really are and loves us unconditionally. Additionally, through Jesus, we have hope that we will live forever with Him in Heaven. I know some of these themes also apply to LGBTQ+ people, and even queer non-Christians find solace in this song's message. And to queer Christians, they find solace much in the way many neurodivergent people like myself feel. Someone best described this song as "the Christian anthem to those that feel like outsiders". This is exactly how I feel whenever I listen to this song, and it's been an amazing comfort to me and my faith.

Now, I know some people have said that they were on board for how abstract the song feels at first as it relates to its religious theme, only to do a complete 180 and go full-blown religious towards the end with the lines, "So take heart wild one / For there is a God / Who loves you to death / No matter what you've done / So don't lose hope / For He will lead you home". Personally, I don't think this is as off-putting as the other religious songs, including Field Notes where the religious theme seems to come out of nowhere upon first listen. But here, Sons of Thunder is right on par with Galaxies, which doesn't seem religious at first until the bridge. If the only difference is that Galaxies says, "For He is the saving grace of the galaxies," instead of "For God is the saving grace of the galaxies," then I don't know what to tell you. This song is miles ahead better compared to something like "My Everything". While I could see it being used in Worship, I don't see it exclusively as a Worship song, and it's certainly not all "Hallelujah, God is good, praise Jesus, etc." that much modern CCM has turned into. That is a plus in my book.

But I've taken enough time on this song. Just know when I listened to this song for the first time, I was blown away by how great of a song it is. I kid you not, right as this song was finishing, I thought, "That song was such a highlight! The next song is going to have a hard time living up to this song..."

Yeah... Safe to say, I was not prepared for how hard The Tornado was going to go! This song makes the album skirt into Twenty One Pilots territory, especially with that screamo section! Also, the use of the word "hell" here doesn't seem as out of place as it did in Field Notes. There also is some religious imagery in this song, but while it seems to come out of nowhere, it also doesn't feel out of place. Someone on Reddit also pointed out how The Tornado could be symbolic of an autism meltdown, and I can totally see that. I don't know if that was Adam's intent, but I believe this interpretation has merit. It's a fantastic song (and not at all Adam's cringy attempt at a Bohemian Rhapsody moment... jk I love you Jon from ARTV!) and while I might say that it's a tad overrated within the fandom, I really do enjoy it!

Now, how would I describe the next song, Vitamin Sea? You know the Ocean Eyes-era single Vanilla Twilight? And how Up All Night would be that song had it appeared on The Midsummer Station? I'd describe Vitamin Sea as sort of the opposite... taking a single from The Midsummer Station, Good Time, and turning it into a song that would feel at home on Ocean Eyes. Plus, both songs are duets: Good Time with Carly Rae Jepsen, and Vitamin Sea with Abb-- wait, sorry, (checks liner notes) Colbi McCallister. (More on this later)

The one thing I will say is after the roller coaster of a song that is The Tornado, Vitamin Sea feels a bit out of place. We go from a dramatic, metaphorical storm to wishing to be on a vacation in Hawaii? But it's still a solid song... even if radio listeners in Northeast Wisconsin don't particularly like it. The song is definitely close to "Song of the Summer" territory lyrically. And musically, it sounds like a more rock-leaning version of The Yacht Club. This is the most dreamy song that would fit on Ocean Eyes. It's my favorite of the three pre-release singles (although Kelly Time is a close second). The only strange thing about it is that its Instagram teaser, Take Me Back, sounds nothing like Vitamin Sea to me. I did think it could work as an extended intro leading into the final song, but other than that, it just seems the most out of place compared to the actual song. Still, Vitamin Sea is definitely a highlight for me.

Now, what can I say about Dinosaur Park? Well, it's a good song, but it also was the song that took the longest for me to warm up to. I think that's in part due to the fact the first few verses sound closer to a Scores-influenced Sky Sailing track instead of a Scores-influenced Owl City track. It's like the lyrics are so dreamy and depict what should sound like a bombastic Owl City track, but instead, it's very stripped back. (Maybe there's an alternate version that isn't as stripped back? After all, this is the one that was teased through my favorite Instagram teaser, Signs of Life.)

However, I do love that breakdown after the second chorus. This sounds very Euro-dance-influenced. I almost like that section better than the other sections. Thankfully, it shows up again after the final chorus. To me, it sounds like Sky Sailing meets Euro-dance and not Owl City. This further blurs the lines between the two projects and it makes me wonder if Adam could even find a differentiating thing between the two if he released a follow-up to An Airplane Carried Me to Bed. But it's still an amazing song. Lyrically, it depicts a Toy Story-esque scenario about Dinosaur Park in Rapid City, South Dakota. It's a real-life park with giant dinosaur statues, and the song imagines if they come to life, Night of the Museum-style, when no one's visiting the park at night. That sounds like the perfect topic for Adam to cover in a song, and he delivers on it! This is by far the longest song on the album, but it still doesn't overstay its welcome.

Then, we move on to Learn How to Surf. What's ironic to me is that this is the most radio-friendly song on the entire album, but it was never a single. Instead, they created butchered radio edits of Vitamin Sea and Kelly Time, and in the case of the latter, doesn't even flow together as a story compared to the original album version. (Both of these versions are available on YouTube if you want to check them out). But I digress. Learn How to Surf also sounds like it could be a song that appears during the end credits of a family-friendly movie where surfing somehow comes up.

Musically, I love that retro-sounding percussive record skip. It reminds me of Smash Mouth's All Star. It feels very 90s-esque, but not in a heavy-handed way like in Unbelievable. Lyrically, we actually heard much of the first chorus in a preview for the entire album. It sounded very metaphorical, comparing the troubles of life and getting through them to surfing. (If that one old blog reader who asked me anonymously years ago for a song about if Adam had a song with a similar theme... if you're still out there, then this is that song!) However, it's also strange that it seems to tell a story of Adam (or some other dude and Adam takes their point of view for this song) who sees a heavily tattooed lady and asks them what the tattoos mean. It just seemed to come out of nowhere given what we heard from the chorus in that preview. But at the same time, it did give me fodder for a meme on Discord's listening party for the album:

Still, I really do enjoy it. It sounds like typical motivational Adam, in the vein of songs like Shooting Star and Beautiful Times. This is probably my third favorite song from the album.

Now, as we approach the final two songs on the album, it seems to slow down too much. This is especially true considering I had the long-shot hope that the final song would be more upbeat following the next song, The Meadow Lark. Now, I don't dislike The Meadow Lark (But I do have a pet peeve whenever I see people type out this song's title as "The Meadowlark"). In fact, I do like the song's story and themes of forgiveness and grace. And I wouldn't speed up this song in any way.

Lyrically, the song is about someone at war who meets an enemy soldier. They both aim their guns at each other, each prepared to shoot the other. Then, a bird (presumably a meadow lark, given the song title) arrives on the scene and later is joined by more. They start singing as if nothing was happening. But my one critique is that much like Field Notes, the religious 180 comes out of nowhere. Suddenly, one of the soldiers hears from God to "love your enemy", echoing Jesus's words in Matthew 5:43-45 (NRSVUE):

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in heaven, for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous.

This isn't as egregious as Field Notes. Perhaps it's because it tells a full-blown original story set in a war (presumably the Civil War, given how it borrows the melody from the Adam's score album Courdory Road), as opposed to Field Notes, which is just a dramatization of a one-verse parable from Jesus. And I do like the song's message, especially given how it ends: With the soldier lowering his gun, showing him "yield on bended knee". This moves the soldier to do the same and turn away. To me, the whole song sounds very similar to the plot in the Doctor Who Christmas special "Twice Upon a Time", except that story is set during World War I. I won't go into detail as to how they're similar, as this post is already long enough, but if you're a Whovian, you'll know why I said this. All in all, it's a beautiful song and very emotional.

Finally, we reach the closing song on the album: My Muse. It's a sweet, slow love song. This song makes a stunning announcement (even though some people in the fandom, including myself, knew this already), which also explains why Abbey is credited under the names Colbi McCallister and Sissy Willow instead of her own (apart from her general desire for privacy after public backlash for her now-deleted YouTube videos on Cinematic). That announcement? Adam and Abbey got married! Many HootOwls could see this being used as the first dance song at a wedding.

With that said, I'm just going to come out and say it: Be Brave is a better song than My Muse. My Muse could be seen as Be Brave, Part 2, but it just doesn't have the same level of emotional and poetic storytelling that Be Brave shows. My Muse is more to the point and literal, but Be Brave feels like an Owl City song. In fact, I thought for sure Adam would have sung Be Brave and then transition into My Muse on the To The Moon tour, but that never happened. That would have been cool. But My Muse by itself doesn't do it for me the same way Be Brave does. Plus, it being the final song on the album doesn't help.

With all that said, I do like the song. It's sweet and innocent enough, and it's one of the few songs from Adam that I could see a couple slow dance to. The first verse recaps what happened in Be Brave, the second talks about their wedding day, and the third talks about the future. Musically, it's just a simple piano ballad with backing vocals from Abbey herself. It's also the shortest song on the album. I just don't think it works as a closing album moment. Most times I listen to Coco Moon, I add Up to the Cloud to the queue, and then it feels complete. But as it stands, My Muse doesn't seem as memorable as other moments on the album, and that's a problem.

Overall, the album Coco Moon can feel bloated given its lengthy runtime, but no song overstays its welcome even though most songs are over 5 minutes. It's also a solid album, and also Adam's best release since All Things Bright and Beautiful. Cinematic didn't age as well as I thought it would, given that the album is extremely long (even if the average song length isn't compared to Coco Moon), and the fact that I typically only listen to one or two songs from Cinematic at a time as opposed to the full album in one sitting. I can more easily do that with Coco Moon. Still, Coco Moon isn't a perfect album, given a few questionable choices and a strange tracklist arrangement. But I do like it, and I'd give this an 8.5/10. (I probably would have given this a 10/10 closer to release time, but now that I've sat on it for a bit longer, I feel more confident giving a lower rating. It's still probably my top album of the year.)

Wow! If you made it all the way through this post, thank you for reading this rambling attempt at a review. This has been saved partially in drafts for a long time. Please let me know what you think of the album. I appreciate you taking the time to read this! Thank you!!