#its just kind of a mood?? idk

[coy0te-therian]

being a therian/otherkin is so weird cause its like yes I'm a coyote but I'm also a human sort of but if anyone calls me a human i'll scream. This house is a prison but I can't get the motivation to go outside, mental shifting is amazing but afterwards is just sadness because I'll never actually get to be a coyote

[justaz]

big fan of klance being the best of friends circa s3-beginning of s4 and then having a falling out when keith joins the blade. so during their bff phase, they are attached at the hip and spend nights together in lance’s room (its completely platonic, they swear. so what if they wake up most mornings cuddled together? as long as they shift back before the other wakes it doesn’t count). they do facemasks and paint each other’s nails and talk about life before getting abducted into space and their dreams for the life they’ll build once they get back to earth. they sneak out at night and go swimming or train or try their hand at baking with alien ingredients. sometimes they don’t really do anything and will just sit in silence together while doing other things. keith will lay on lance’s bed and read while lance sits against the wall, their legs tangled together, and sews. anyways, they’re the best of friends, lance even made them matching friendship bracelets to prove it. when they go to planets, keith will go search in the market for charms to put on their bracelets while lance goes scouting for rocks to give keith for his rock collection.

i got carried away, my actual point is this: lance has this stim where he fiddles with the bracelet on his wrist while anxious/homesick and keith has this stim where he makes a loose fist and curls his pointer finger to brush it with his thumb (this is actually canon he does it in his little video diary on youtube). they both know of each other’s stim and take note of it so they know when to intervene and either comfort them or take their mind off it or even just insert themself into whatever issue has arisen to ease their burden. keith joins the blade and they have this falling out and don’t talk for a while (months for lance, years for keith since the whole space whale business) until keith comes back to the team and all that shit goes down and they head back to earth. things are different now between them as they’ve both changed since they last saw each other and they always seem just offbeat. until a problem arises and keith notices that instead of lance going for his bracelet to fiddle with it, he makes a loose fist and rubs his pointer finger with his thumb. keith is a little surprised until he notices the cool metal between his fingers and looks down to find himself fiddling with his bracelet

[fox-guardian]

have u considered..... alice/celia toxic codependency?? where they only see sam in the other and alice cant stand a life with no same and celia is suffocating from the guilt

I've considered something Similar. I don't think it'd be so much "I see sam in you" and more just. "Hey this fucked up thing happened. Sam is gone. You're the only other one who gets it. Please don't leave" at least on alice's part, and celia is, yeah, mostly just. Horribly Guilty and low key sticking it out to see if the archivist going through too means that Sam can come back without issue, but the guilt and the lying is still Eating Her Alive. So she keeps close to alice, comforting and supporting her as best she can as a way to almost pre-make up for it without ever actually telling her the truth.

[mamawasatesttube]

i wish it wasn't so normal for people to complain about unfinished wips or fics that take a long time to update. because sometimes i think i have a really fun idea for a fic but it'd take a while for me to write, and i like talking about my work as i do it and i don't like writing entire fics over like 20k without sharing, because i lose steam. so if i were to write and post that cool fic idea, it'd be as a wip. and then i think about all the people who just refuse to engage with wips, or all the other people who would just go "update pls" all the time, and of how people only really comment in the first 24 hours something is posted and then it's lost to obscurity, and then i just go "actually whats the point in going through the effort writing this out? i'll just daydream about it now and then and be done with it." and then i don't write it. alas!

[mindisinmars]

It's centrifugal motion, it's perpetual bliss, it's that pivotal moment, It's, ah, subliminal.

[slugandthorn]

The coolest gender thing in the 2009 Japanese video game persona 3 100% how hard they coded shinjiro as the dead mom

[anxiously-sidequesting]

To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope

[maretriarch]

turns out how not to be deficient in fat in your diet is to stop eating only low fat versions of foods

[savetheghost]

wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years

[sashasluggo]

i hate that i get a freeze response and my brain just. goes blank whenever someone asks me how im feeling or what i think of something

i hate not having access to my own enotions and opinions and panicking when i should be able to just. tell how im feeling???

[bbq-potato-chip]

kind of want to rewatch cowboy bebop

[hoardlikegoldenirises]

something a little silly

(he's not actually angry at the "drugs" thing, just busy trying not to die)

oh i almost forgot

transcript of my bad handwriting:

Page 1 Panel 1: 2013, 1:38 pm (sfx: DING DING DING)

Panel 2: 9th period, 1:40 pm

Peter's internal thought bubble: "Oh shit my meds"

Panel 3:

Student 1: Hi, Mr. Parker!

Peter: mm-hm

Panel 4:

Student 1: Mr. Parker? Hello?

(Student 2: Huh?)

Panel 5:

Peter: Hm?

Student 1: What are those, tic tacs?

Student 2: No, he's doing drugs!!! (In class!)

Text pointing to Peter's hand holding his pills says "PTSD medication"

Peter: HKFGH (choking noise)

Page 2:

Panel 1:

Student 1: Are you okay?!

(Student 2: oh fuck)

Peter: COUGH COUGH

Panel 2:

(sfx: WHEEZE)

Peter: It's not DRUGS!

Panel 3, Peter cont.: Well, I mean, it is drugs, but it's prescription—it's medication. OK?

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

I have thoughts about the TTPD speculation/two years/loneliness/sharing feelings through songs train but I'm putting them under a cut because. Yeah.

OK, so I'm giving a warning:

I'm talking about BTTWS, but NOT about the speculation/inspiration behind it. Just about the feelings in it and the Midnights of it all/the idea that sharing the difficult things brings comfort/companionship. So getting that out of the way so we can remove that part of the discourse out of it.

Regardless of whatever the inspiration/event behind BTTWS may be, whether it's about a loved one or personal, I've long felt that its inclusion on Midnights, an album about things that have kept her up at night, is significant in the feelings it portrays.

For instance, we can be fairly certain that Taylor wasn't actually turning in Scooter B. to the FBI and conspiring with his ex-wife to bring him down (or was she?) in Vigilante Shit, just as we can safely guess that she probably did actually pick up that pebble in Wicklow that reminded her of a peaceful time in Sweet Nothing. The line between fiction/reality, personal vs. narrative matters less on Midnights in this case than the feelings she was expressing in the songs, which are very personal and truthful. The revenge fantasy in Vigilante Shit is her working through her anger over having her masters sold and how she's fought hard to have the last laugh over someone who is a sworn enemy. Sweet Nothing is her reflecting on the dichotomy of her (presumed) quiet home life she felt was safe and the noise of the outside world. (Now, we might speculate on why she was ruminating on this, but that's another story.)

So with that preamble out of the way, BTTWS's inclusion in the tracklist I feel is just as important, again regardless of the inspiration behind it or her personal connection to it. Even if it is a song about someone other than herself, including it as the only "not personal/not diaristic" song on an album as ostensibly self-reflective as Midnights would stick out if that were thecase, though obviously it's her album so she can do whatever she wants and could have her own reasons. (Just like she included Ronan on Red and Soon You'll Get Better on Lover about similar themes, it could just be a tribute to a loved one.) But given all the thematic arcs and parallels on Midnights, I do feel like it's there to include a specific set of feelings being processed, even if the origin on the feelings may or may not be her own. (I'm trying to be really sensitive in my word choices here, hope they make sense.)

BTTWS is a song about loss and grief, and specifically the fallout of an event outside of her/the narrator's control. The person in the song has nothing to turn to to deal with their pain: no faith to guide them, no wisdom to tell them everything will be alright. Throughout the song there is a pervasive sense of isolation: everything is over, they're living without something that was once theirs but suddenly was not. It captures the fog and confusion of living through a painful event without having any way to process. She even says from the start that, "no words appear before me in the aftermath," which for someone like Taylor who has stated over and over how writing is literally how she processes her life would be the ultimate reflection of the depths of her hurt.

(To be clear I do not think this is a song about a breakup whatsoever: IMO it clearly is not about a relationship dissolution of any kind. I just think that the feelings of grief and loneliness in the song may have felt relevant to whatever she was going through during the time the album was coalescing in 2021-22.)

Knowing what we know now about at the very least the period between 2021-2023, Taylor was going through a time of significant difficulty in her life behind the scenes, which is how The Tortured Poets Department came to be, right on the heels of her completing Midnights sometime in early 2022. She has said herself that making TTPD was a lifeline, that she had to keep writing to deal with whatever it was that she was experiencing and going through. And as I posted about earlier today, she's also said repeatedly on tour that not only is writing about her feelings how she processes her pain and loneliness, but that then sharing that music with fans brings her great comfort because it makes her feel less lonely to know people understand and relate to what she's going through.

And we know that she has self-edited her albums over the years (including Midnights) to protect herself and perhaps even the subjects of her songs, which we have seen with the inclusion of the vault/bonus tracks in the re-records and on Midnights. Obviously some of these reasons are logistical -- album was too long, cut songs sounded too much like others, maybe she or her producers felt the ones that were originally chosen were stronger, narrative or sonic cohesion, etc. -- but with what we've seen over the last few years, these songs also filled in the lines of the stories being told and reframed the narrative being told.

Nowhere is that clearer than with You're Losing Me, for example. It's pretty obvious why it was held back: presumably she wouldn't want to release a song about a relationship at its breaking point when she was still actively in the relationship. Yet as soon as the relationship ended, she released it, we can only assume because of her realization that sharing the music and having people respond to it validates her feelings and makes her feel embraced, as it were. Then with the announcement of TTPD and how it's been brewing for essentially the intervening period between when YLM was written and now, we can also surmise that these songs will be dealing with feelings she also felt the need to hold back for whatever reason at the time, but has now decided should be out there so she can feel more whole.

So coming back to BTTWS, it being included on Midnights the way that it was strikes me as a form of sharing feelings that may have been too difficult to process. Again, not implying I have any insight into what the origin of the song is about, or imposing my own beliefs onto her, or that she was sending some sort of secret message with its inclusion! But thematically, BTTWS deals with an intense loss and feeling completely unmoored and alone as a result, which is present in her other work. And that the dreams the narrator once held have gone up in smoke, leaving her reeling about what's to come next. She's cut off from the world because of the event, unable to speak about or grasp what has happened. Similar feelings are also explored in You're Losing Me for instance, and even Dear Reader (not to mention on past albums like evermore, this is me trying, arguably hoax, etc.). Just reading context clues from TTPD and her surprise song choices of late, I don't think it's outrageous to presume some of those emotions are going to be present on the new album as well.

So this is just a long-winded way of saying, I feel like the sense of loss, confusion and uncertainty about the future likely resonated with both what she had gone through in the past, and the story as a whole she was trying to tell on Midnights. And while the origin may or may not be personal or relevant to the new story she's going to tell, I also feel like these same kinds of themes are going to be present on TTPD because they're so important for her to share. (I could even mention that the response to BTTWS may even provide evidence that people sharing their experiences in general brings comfort to those going through it, but that may be veering too far into parasocial "why did Taylor do X" speculative territory.) She sings about these kinds of all-consuming losses so eloquently and mindfully that I know the new album is going to be an absolute gut punch.

(not being self-promotional but I delved a little deeper into the Midnights 3am tracks including this one a few months ago so it's why it's top of mind and why the connections and thematic parallels are so resonant to me lately.)

[skunkes]

OMG you like moral orel?? who is your favorite character :]c *Blinking and fluttering my eyelashes beautifully*

i watched the whole thing in a few days, ended yesterday. My faves are nurse bendy and joe (together and as a unit), stephanie (individually and then as a unit with the reverend but i dont like him individually), + danielle, of course

[florida3exclamationpoints]

I think perhaps when my psychiatrist asks me how my appetite is maybe possibly I shouldn't say it's fine 🤔

[silvercap-art]

I just kinda feel like!! Every time I feel like I'm improving!! I see someone who can do it better and it's just like there's a massive gulf of skill between me and what I wish I could do and I realize all over again how much work I still need to do idk