#its just kind of a mood?? idk
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being a therian/otherkin is so weird cause its like yes I'm a coyote but I'm also a human sort of but if anyone calls me a human i'll scream. This house is a prison but I can't get the motivation to go outside, mental shifting is amazing but afterwards is just sadness because I'll never actually get to be a coyote
#therian#otherkin#therian community#coyote#coyote therian#slight vent#tw rant#rant#therianthropy#otherkinity#being a therian is really weird#its just kind of a mood?? idk#im tired
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What have you done?
based on an idea @username8746489 had where sylvie discovered nightmare fuel for the first time on accident while getting bullied by some older kids (and pushing him further into social isolation now that he's known as "that scary kid who could summon someone's worst fear")
#♦️charlie's art#epithet erased#sylvester ashling#sylvie ashling#ok i have a lot to yap about here hold on#this was a challenge to make since i was imagining it with no dialogue and limited colors i hope i pulled it off#because of those two things something i had to think a lot about was how the color progression changes the mood#I wasn't originally gonna add that last panel with the aftermath but un suggested the idea of the bullies being vague shadowy figures#initially until sylvie realizes what he did and is forced to see that “that was a real person with their own fears and insecurities”#so then they're drawn more detailed#sylvie and the bullies also aren't in the same panels together until the last one because he's just so below them that he isnt worthy of#sharing equal space with them. these kids are highschoolers. if sylvie wants to look at them he'll always have to look up#and also because i was struggling with their height difference#i hope the second page doesn't make it look too much like sylvie summoned a fire 😭 it kinda helps with the mood but what he summoned is#supposed to be ambiguous and i dont want it to look like i was born yesterday and think nightmare fuel ONLY summone fire#but its hard to make it NOT look like fire when i can only work with orange#the lineart starts out clean and gets messier as the conflict progresses to represent a lack of control#and also it creates kind of a shakey/unstable effect which emphasizes sylvie's fear#also unintentional but i think the second page having detailed shading emphasizes the mood changes. this just got SERIOUS#oh also i used the mizu5 untrained as a color reference thats fun#ALSO SYLVIE DIDN'T KILL ANYONE im just realizing the one curled up in the last panel could be interpreted that way#that's not what i was going for#this might be unrealistic...... but we also know so little about sylvie's backstory that who's to say for sure IDK LET ME MAKE MY FAV SUFFER
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big fan of klance being the best of friends circa s3-beginning of s4 and then having a falling out when keith joins the blade. so during their bff phase, they are attached at the hip and spend nights together in lance’s room (its completely platonic, they swear. so what if they wake up most mornings cuddled together? as long as they shift back before the other wakes it doesn’t count). they do facemasks and paint each other’s nails and talk about life before getting abducted into space and their dreams for the life they’ll build once they get back to earth. they sneak out at night and go swimming or train or try their hand at baking with alien ingredients. sometimes they don’t really do anything and will just sit in silence together while doing other things. keith will lay on lance’s bed and read while lance sits against the wall, their legs tangled together, and sews. anyways, they’re the best of friends, lance even made them matching friendship bracelets to prove it. when they go to planets, keith will go search in the market for charms to put on their bracelets while lance goes scouting for rocks to give keith for his rock collection.
i got carried away, my actual point is this: lance has this stim where he fiddles with the bracelet on his wrist while anxious/homesick and keith has this stim where he makes a loose fist and curls his pointer finger to brush it with his thumb (this is actually canon he does it in his little video diary on youtube). they both know of each other’s stim and take note of it so they know when to intervene and either comfort them or take their mind off it or even just insert themself into whatever issue has arisen to ease their burden. keith joins the blade and they have this falling out and don’t talk for a while (months for lance, years for keith since the whole space whale business) until keith comes back to the team and all that shit goes down and they head back to earth. things are different now between them as they’ve both changed since they last saw each other and they always seem just offbeat. until a problem arises and keith notices that instead of lance going for his bracelet to fiddle with it, he makes a loose fist and rubs his pointer finger with his thumb. keith is a little surprised until he notices the cool metal between his fingers and looks down to find himself fiddling with his bracelet
#keith and lance being so intertwined that they literally just kind of absorb one another without realizing it#omg is that the beauty of vore? :O#sorry that was a joke i swear#anyways#they notice the exchange of stims and begin to notice their own quirks reflected in the other person#and theyre just kinda like ‘omg thats literally my best friend despite it all’#and they fall back in sync with one another#their love grows stronger#and gay 👍#lance mcclain#keith kogane#klance#vld#voltron#im in a klance mood rn idk whats going on#its been merthur for like eight or nine months
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have u considered..... alice/celia toxic codependency?? where they only see sam in the other and alice cant stand a life with no same and celia is suffocating from the guilt
I've considered something Similar. I don't think it'd be so much "I see sam in you" and more just. "Hey this fucked up thing happened. Sam is gone. You're the only other one who gets it. Please don't leave" at least on alice's part, and celia is, yeah, mostly just. Horribly Guilty and low key sticking it out to see if the archivist going through too means that Sam can come back without issue, but the guilt and the lying is still Eating Her Alive. So she keeps close to alice, comforting and supporting her as best she can as a way to almost pre-make up for it without ever actually telling her the truth.
#fg's answers#asks#the magnus protocol#tmagp#tmagp spoilers#cursing#'i see sam in you' is kind of. idk the word for it but reductive comes close. of their dynamic and vibe#alice has Also Lost Another Friend so she is Extra emotionally vulnerable rn its not just sam#and celia seeing sam in alice is kinda like. from a writing perspective at least. does she need to?#she has Plenty of reminders as to what she did#his empty desk. alice's altered mood. the baby she comes home to daily.#i understand the whole 'i see them when i look at you' thing is fun but it doesn't Suit Them imo
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bello
#i hope you're all doing well <3#im back? kinda? not really? idk :(#it was really nice to get a lil break and i did miss being on here a little but also#not really#literally whats wrong with me rahhhh#maybe its bc ive been so drained and so busy im just not in the mood for fics or simping or kpop in general but like yeah idk :/#im still really busy until i go home for break which is the 10th i think#so i probs wont be super active until that point but even then i don't know if i'll be on here a lot :')#i hope its just uni making me feel this way and ill wanna be back on here more over the break#we'll see though#take care everyone love youuu be kind to yourselves and eat well and sleep good and yeah <3333#misiu’s diary ♡
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turns out how not to be deficient in fat in your diet is to stop eating only low fat versions of foods
#i was scared of being hungry unfortunately and didnt want to change my diet to more calorie dense stuff out of fear of like hunger related#mood swings which i get badly now which i didnt used to which is awesome i totally love feeling like a half starved half mad dog if my lunc#is like half an hour late#i will not eat like regular ice cream but y'know. cheeses. yogurt thats abt it i eat the same 9 ingredients in rotation#apples cauliflower cottage cheese cabbage sardines carrots broccoli tomatoes uhhhh monster energy drinks#i mean other stuff too sometimes but those r the staples#if i could go raw vegan without dying i probably would just bcs its easier#that list is kind of pathetic and depressing but idk man what's a guy to do#i do worry about it not being varied enough and missing micronutrients and stuff but like yknow ive always been a very unadventurous eater#eating the same things day in day out years on end and ive always been like fine lol it's just a less heavy carb selection these days which#like im pretty sure all that you need xyz amount of grains a day is a total psyop by the corn and wheat us subsidies i don't think you need#that shit just like how you dont need milk.
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#coworkers decided to do an impromptu happy hour today and must have made this decision while i was away from my desk at lunch.#bc i got back and they were just. all gone. and i only found out bc our boss swung by my desk before he left and told me.#and i know it wasnt intentional (at least i don't think it was) but idk man! just feels kinda shitty! yall could've left a note or something#but anyways. boss was like you should come! but i. did not go. partially bc im kind of a little sore about that actually?#but also they went to a beer place and i. dont drink beer. and like yeah yeah go for the people not the place but also. idk just.#it's cold and rainy and today has kind of sucked too so like. im not really in the mood#(which HONESTLY was probably the point of going out bc NO ONE is in the mood)#but. ugh.#now im going to spend the whole weekend trying to think of what im going to say when someone inevitably asks me why i wasn't there#and they all probably think im antisocial or whatever#esp bc like. im pretty quiet at work too. like. i feel awkward just jumping into conversations sometimes bc like.#im still the newbie on the team. like i just got moved to this one at the end of august#but these people have been working together for like years now.#so like they all know each other!!! theyre all super comfortable with each other!!!!#but im still new im still getting to know them all!!! and like idk. just feels awkward to insert myself into those conversations#even if im probably allowed to. so i just. dont.#and ugh. its a vicious cycle i know. 😔#but anyways.#wow that was so much oversharing how embarrassing#whatever. what is the internet for if not embarrassing amounts of oversharing 🤷♀️#N E WAYS.
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It's centrifugal motion, it's perpetual bliss, it's that pivotal moment, It's, ah, subliminal.
#faith hill#this kiss#girlblogging#girlhood#hi barbie#spring aesthetic#source: pinterest#girlrotting#just girly things#homey#SPRING#girl interupted syndrome#nature#girl blogger#coquette#mood board#kind of#girl interrupted#girly blog#pretty little liars#home#the virgin suicides#miss barbie#idk what this is it looked cool#dreamcore#really hope its not like smthn weird#lana del rey#lana is god#lana del ray aka lizzy grant#lana del ray aesthetic
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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wanna be put in a room with craft stuff for 10 years
#i cant focus on anything rn but the stuff i wanna make and its turning my brain into mush#the weird brainfucked fear that if i dont get these things started Soon ill forget it#my memory is so fucking borked man and my brain runs too fucking fast to hold on to anything#i make so much that i went and made my own hell lol#the two jobs thing i think is probably the crux rn cause ive got even less time than i used to and my time blindness gives me troubles#ill get adjusted to it#sometimes with all my fucked up processing issues makes me feel like im kind of stuck in a weird bubble#like i have no idea whats happening or whos around me or what people are saying and i just have to stumble through it yknow#shouldve been born as a tiktokers pet snail#not tryna be complainy or in a bad mood or nuffin im fine i literally just want to be making stuff rn#even though works like a big Thing its also been understimulating the past week because theres nothing to do i just gotta Be Here#i need to be put under pressure i need squeezed i need smushed and i aint getting that#if i ever make something for u plz hound me about it#so i can explain in excruciating detail what step im on and how im doing it and what still needs done and how ill do THAT#i should make tutorials#i feel like im way too stream of consciousness to make anything actually helpful#idk i want a toast chee
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i read the hunger games books multiple times over as a kid, and i didnt like katniss' ending at first, bc my hyperlexic ass could read the words long before i could REALLY Comprehend the concepts, but as soon as i got a firm understanding of aromanticism and trauma and and etcetc... i like it a lot now
#^bro had the most subtleeeee learning delay !!!!#it kind of disturbs me because like. i just. didnt have a teacher that really helped me UNDERSTAND stuff like themes? i was shy#and i was REALLY good at guessing on questions like theme and mood based on what the teacher said#but i didnt. GET them i usually got half points or missed those questions or wasnt detailed enough#same thing with character motivation#unless i was intimately familiar with the story#and even then stuff like hs and su and mp100... it took multiple times over and also participation in fan discussion to Get what was happen#idk what happened or why it clicked#it was like. slowly thru junior year and into senior i had 2 great teachers in a row#the texts we read were interesting and were about things i could identify as giving a shit about from a fairly surface level#i dont know what made it click..#which is what makes me think its hyperlexia#it was really like an epiphany? or a set of epiphanies#but i could read a LOT of words really fucking fast#i was reading on my own when i was 4#which apparently isnt normal#and they said i read at a 7th grade level when i was in 3rd grade#and by the time i was in 7th grade i was reading at a college level#which! at my school was pretty much just based on knowing vocab!!!!#and damn did i know vocab. i just couldnt.. see.. the bigger picture....... Um. *gulps in missed autism diagnosis*#just connected that thats a manifestation of focusing on the details..#but yeah its weird#i was always pretty sure i didnt have any major developmental delays#just trouble communicating and socializing etcetc sensory issues whatever#im p sure i hit all my milestones on time or early as a bebe#except that... also i was (am...) a wanderer. i got the cops called on me by my family cause i wandered to a neighbors house (there were#kids a little older than me there and i had an older neighbor friend from another house so i thought it was chill. plus they had video game#and i lived w old people so i didnt get any games until i was 7 (dsi))#im pretty sure they wouldnt have called the cops if it was a white family -_- they would refer to them as Them Patels -_-#but regardless i was pulling the irish goodbye before i shouldve LOL
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kind of want to rewatch cowboy bebop
#honestly i dont know why i just got this wave of nostalgia for some reason#i watched it in the middle of the pandemic. i distinctly remember binging it and eating icecream sandwiches#ik the pandemic was bad but i. i kind of miss sitting around.........#missing that 3 2 1 lets jam you know.#honestly out of all the watanabe productions its really not my most favorite.#space dandy and samurai champloo are my personal favorites#but i've been in a cowboy bepop mood lately. not sure why#its kind of sad though that its the most popular...WHERE ARE MY SPACE DANDY FANS!! HELLOOO#if cowboy bebop and samurai champloo are like bleach and naruto space dandy is like the gintama#which isnt a great analogy but i think it works.#not to mention the fact that the music SLAPS. honestly all three of them have great soundtracks but#space dandy really is my favorite. it just scratches an itch in my brain idk what to say#if space dandy has 1 million fans i am one of them if space dandy has 100 fans i am one of them if space dandy has#10 fans i am one of them. if space dandy has 1 fan that is me. if space dandy has no fans then i am no longer on this earth. thank you#oh and not to mention that the animation is stunning. they get experimental with it and its really cool#its done by the same people who animated mob pyscho i think. not 100% about that but im p sure#i would rb sooooo many gifs but. no one cares about it unfortunately :\#sorry this totally derailed. uh. now i kind of want to rewatch space dandy instead lol
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OMG you like moral orel?? who is your favorite character :]c *Blinking and fluttering my eyelashes beautifully*
i watched the whole thing in a few days, ended yesterday. My faves are nurse bendy and joe (together and as a unit), stephanie (individually and then as a unit with the reverend but i dont like him individually), + danielle, of course
#idk how to feel about it in general i know there was more planned but it got cancelled but it still ended too suddenly ykwim#i liked what we saw at the end with orel finding family elsewhere (before he grows up)#i like orel himself outside of the wacky edgy adult themes of it all as a Kid who is Good#when i was watching that last episode i got a bizarre kind of emotional bc when he first poses the Big Question i Knew#that the answer was that the only good thing abt his father was that he had a hand in making him#i get so sad with stories involving children like dis 😭#i feel like even if it was fully complete the show had more potential ykwim....i know the Tonal Shift makes the impact more...impactful#but i feel it cldve been handled differently or in different amounts. idk!#skunk mail#pawzcore#i also get its bc the eps are short but nature 1 and 2 didnt impact me the way it did others#like. idk. i knew beforehand it was the serious moment(s)/episode(s) but it wasnt presented in a way that#actually shifted My mood when watching it...clay's nonchalance from the eyes of me as a viewer#just comes off as humorous rather than serious ykwim? not that its funny but it doesnt feel high stakes at all#the whole thing didnt feel high stakes or serious unless u remove it from the context of the show youve been watching#for 2 seasons#its fucked up when you see it on paper but then in the show its different....if that makes sense
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I think perhaps when my psychiatrist asks me how my appetite is maybe possibly I shouldn't say it's fine 🤔
#i don't KNOW 😭😭#but i am realizing#ill be hungry and not be in the mood for any kind of food#so im hungry but i dont want to eat anything#or ill be hungry but not feel like going through the process of eating 💀#which sometimes means i don't want to get up and cook#but sometimes i literally feel like i dont have the energy to perform the task of using a fork and chewing#even tho im hungry#ive never really thought about that stuff before...... but my doctor always asks about my appetite#and im always like idk i think its fine :)#but i just saw her last week for the first time in a few months#and now I'm thinking about it.......#i dont have another appointment with her for 3 more months tho 😭#i guess i should bring it up to my therapist#...... SKDNSK????#why is this actually an epiphany. thats probably really not normal#like 😭😭😭
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I just kinda feel like!! Every time I feel like I'm improving!! I see someone who can do it better and it's just like there's a massive gulf of skill between me and what I wish I could do and I realize all over again how much work I still need to do idk
#not complaining exactly it's just kind of a frustrating feeling#I'm proud of what I'm doing and I like the place I've gotten to#HOWEVER#I feel amateurish because its like im just kinda scraping by with my fingernails#and there's so much I'm missing#sigh#and it's so hard to think in 3d#hands are strangely the easiest thing to do it with#but i just don't always approach it with the shape in mind maybe idk#sorry I'm just. in a mood this week i apologize. see next reblog for more uplifting commentary on the artist's journey
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hot take im tired of the posts abt 同志 faggotry because it does not technically mean that or has any equivalence to that especially not as a slur. it is just a normal word for gay (or more broadly lgbtq) and like YES it is funny but people who don't know chinese just going wow haha so true 😍 just... you dont know anything what if i killed you
#sorry its a little too close to using foreign languages as a funny haha meme moment for me#LIKE. IT IS KIND OF FUNNY THE PERSON CHOSE THAT TRANSLATION. but idk its grinding my gears#tbd#sorry for saying what if i killed you. its not actually that dire#ive just been in a needing to kill mood lately
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