#its also midnight and i already took my sleep meds so????
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rafeandonlyrafe · 4 months ago
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morning cravings
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words: 1.1k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, friends to lovers, mentions of past hookups and drinking, semi public sex
you pull out your phone and quickly type out a message to rafe.
im coming over. unlock the door for me.
you push your feet into your tennis shoes before he even texts back.
i was about to hop in the shower
i don't care. my coffee machine broke and im dying without my caffeine 
you grab your bag before heading out the door, crossing the street to rafes house, having lived next to him your entire life.
“hey.” you mumble as rafe opens the door for you. you don't even look around as you enter, knowing his house like the back of your hand.
“wheezie just bought some new syrups if you want to try them out.” rafe says before retreating out of the kitchen, knowing you'll be in a bad mood until you have a mug of hot coffee in your hand.
you don't put much care into your first cup, drinking it black and gulping half down before adding some syrups and milk.
you sip slower now, padding around the house and it's many rooms until you find rafe.
“thanks.” you tell him. “where is everyone?”
“probably asleep still.” rafe says. he knows you always get up early, and he's adjusted his schedule throughout the years to fit with yours.
“hm.” you hum out, taking another sip of the bitter coffee before setting it down on the side table. “do you think we have time to fuck?”
“i-” rafe sits up suddenly, straightening out his previously slumped position. “what?”
“remember that time we hooked up?” you question, moving with confidence to sit on rafes lap, placing your knees on the couch cushion on either side of his thighs.
“we were both blacked out though. i thought for the sake of our friendship we agreed to not-”
you cut rafe off by surging forward and pressing your lips against his. “i want you. now.”
rafe doesn't question it. if he did you'd probably admit that your vibrator frustratingly died on you last night and wouldn't charge, leading to your pent up attitude.
rafe kisses you harshly, one arm wrapping around your waist to pull you in flush to his body while his other hand comes to the back of your head, holding you close as his lips attack yours.
“fuck, we don't have much time though.” rafe says, breathing faster already as his muscular chest rises and falls.
“i want you right here.” you reach down and pet your palm over rafes crotch, feeling his length harden under the plaid pajama pants material. “we can fuck again later in your room, but i need you to make me cum right now.”
“okay.” rafe tries to stay listening to the stairs, waiting for a creak to tell him to stop, but the second your hand moves under the hem of his pants, all is forgotten.
you pull his cock out, wrapping your hand around his length as you stroke up and down, grinding yourself down against his thighs to get you even wetter than you already are.
“take your shorts off.” rafe says, hand coming to your ass and giving it a squeeze, a smile growing on his face when you get off his lap only to turn and have your bum face him as you pull down your shorts and underwear, bearing your pussy to rafe.
you expect him to let you turn around and ride him, use his body if he doesn't feel like helping, but suddenly your thighs are being spread by long slender fingers and rafes mouth is on your cunt.
you moan out probably too loudly and lean forward to place your hands on the coffee table as rafes tongue swipes through your folds, tasting all the juices and wetness that has accumulated.
“god.” you whine, pushing your hips back against rafes face. “don't stop.”
you feel his mouth drop slightly to reach your clit, his lips wrapping around your bud as he sucks. 
your fingers dig into the wooden table as you moan out again, trying to keep yourself from screaming as you grind back against his face.
rafe eats you out for as long as he will allow himself while in the living room. he stands suddenly, tongue licking at your wetness covering his lips.
before you can stand or turn, rafes cock is pressed against your entrance, his hands on your hips.
“fuck me rafe.” you tell him, looking over your shoulder. “fuck me hard.”
you don't have to tell rafe twice as he sinks into you, both letting out curses at the sudden intense pleasure.
rafe pauses for just a moment, somewhat to let you adjust but more so to allow himself a deep breath and refocus on not cumming too soon despite your cunt clutching his cock, seemingly sucking his length deeper inside of you.
“so fucking-” rafe gasps. “warm and wet.”
you open your mouth to respond with some quip when rafe begins to thrust, pounding into you with abandon, not treating you like you've been his best friend since kindergarten but like a whore he's having a one night stand with.
it makes you regret not giving in to the lust sooner as rafes hand reaches around your midsection and his fingers find your clit, strumming it with rhythm in time with his hips.
“we're doing this more often.” you tell rafe, who nods in agreement despite you facing away from him, he can't find his words at the moment.
“god, your cock is big.” you moan out. you remember the hookup somewhat despite telling rafe the next day you didn't, but a cock like his leaves an impression even in a completely blacked out drunk mind.
rafes fingers pinch at your clit, smiling as he feels your pussy grip his cock tighter every time.
the one hand on your hip is grabbing you so tightly you're sure to be bruises, but you just want rafe to cover you completely, marking you as his.
“im-im not gonna last much longer.” rafe says. 
“rub me faster.” you command, eyes squeezing shut as you focus on the high building inside of you, wanting to cum at the same time as rafe.
his cock swells inside of you, pushing even further against your walls as your orgasm suddenly breeches as you cum with a gasp and a cry of rafes name.
you let out a whine when rafe suddenly pulls out, his cum spurting across your bum as he jacks himself off.
“the fuck?” you ask, turning around. “i wanted you to cum inside of me!”
“i-i-” rafe stutters, his eyes widening.
“come on.” you groan, pulling your shorts back on and grabbing your sullied, wet underwear. “you can make it up to me in your room.”
you make sure to grab your coffee before heading up the stairs.
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mcalhenwrites · 1 year ago
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So excited to get near the end of Seasons, especially bc so many of my other stories are speaking to me. Short ramble about writing, pretty much.
I didn't get much sleep, and all attempts to get more have failed, so I guess I just try to stay up until about noon now. I have a little over an hour until midnight to get some more writing in for today's Camp NaNo word count, so I'll see what I can do with that. I just don't know if it'll be Seasons or one of its side stories at this point, bc I'm kind of thinking about twenty different ideas all at the same time. RIP But I'm so close to hitting 25k too! (It's a little over 24k rn) I set my word count goal for 40k, so this is doable... But ugh, so many words. :') I've packed some writing snacks for the night. Got my water, root beer, and this lunch box:
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Already ate the peach parfait cup since I like them chilled. Slowly gonna nibble on this through the next few hours. XD The sandwich is a little bit of butter with some caramel pecan apple butter Cove gave me last month when they visited. :) (IT IS GODLY) Trying to eat healthy and get back to doing more of my walks/exercises, I slacked due to stress, pet deaths, Alvin health (which... he has another very minor start of a hot spot, we may have to talk to the vet about increasing his med dosage for apoquel but he's back in a cone and I need to shave the area to let it stay dry, I think this constant rain is tormenting his allergies + preventing his fur from staying dry), etc. But I went to the zoo this morning since my mom has a pass and can take me with her for free, and I took mostly photos of flowers. Most of them were bird of paradise aka STRELITZIA lmao I'm so predictable I also took a picture of some kind of orb weaver chilling by the chimps :3 I write a lot better + find a lot of inspiration when I go for walks and keep up with exercise, though my sleep is still rubbish bc my health is, so... it's pretty mild stuff for me. Okay, time to fucking write. Wish me luck? XD And if you're working on writing and happen to read this, GOOD LUCK TO YOU TOO!!! :D
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pl-panda · 4 years ago
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The vines that bind us - Chapter 6
Chapter 1 || Previous || NEXT
Elevator took her all the way to the highest floor. When she exited, the floor was back to perfect condition and several more plants were awaiting her. She promised them silently to check on them soon and went to the main office. She knocked several times on the doors, but nobody answered. Hesitantly, she pushed the doors open, but no one was in the office. After double-checking with security, it turned out that Tim Drake did not show to work. She sighed. Looks like more work for her
 Just like Nathalie said.
“Didn’t you cause enough drama
” Lila never got a chance to end that sentence, because Mari delivered a straight one strong enough to send her flying several feet back before she came crashing down. Blood pouring from her nose.
The girl was about to launch herself at the liar and pound her into the ground when two strong arms grabbed her. She noticed the characteristic spikes on the sides of black gloves and stated to trash around. “Let me go you overgrown furry!” She screamed. “I will mix her face with the concrete until it’s nice and even!”
She tried to wiggle herself out of his grip. Most of the class surrounded Lila and were trying to help her. It only served to irate Mari more. She kicked her leg back, hitting Batman’s shin. It was finally enough to let her go. The girl fell down... right into the embrace of Chloe and Adrien who managed to get to her on time. The two blondes hugged her tightly. 
“There. It’s alright Goldie. You got her good. Rest.” The girl cooed and pressed her best friend to her chest, muffling the sobbing. Adrien was just silently there and hugged them both. When Batman tried to approach again, the boy sent him an angry glare. The warning was clear and the vigilante didn’t really need anything from the girl right now. 
After a bit, Mari fell asleep in their embrace. The stress finally caught up to her and she couldn’t hold exhaustion at bay any longer. Chloe easily picked her up and started to walk toward a taxi that was conveniently parked nearby, waiting for them. 
“What!?” Angry Alya looked from Lila who was now being cared for by a pair of paramedics. She turned to Commissioner Gordon who was discussing something with Batman. “You!” 
The policeman looked at her curiously. Alya continued her shouting. “You’re letting her go just like that? She just assaulted Lila! She might’ve ruined her modeling career! Arrest her!”
“Miss.” Gordon shook his head. “These are some of the braves men and women in Gotham, but I doubt any of them would dare to try and arrest her right now. They don’t get paid enough.”
“What?!” Several kids started to protest, but Gordon just ignored them and directed Harvey to start taking statements. He wasn’t paid enough to deal with these brats. 
--------
Bruce sighed as he exited the Batmobile. Almost immediately, he was swarmed by the rest of his family. Jason and Dick practically carried him, still in the suit, to the movie room. 
“Now, Ladies and Gents, we have some of the greatest shows for you. We call it
 The Demon Trashing!”
What followed was a clip taken from monitoring in the anteroom of the CEO office in Wayne Tower. He watched as Damian, dressed in civilian clothing, and carrying a simple ninjato on his back entered the room. He walked around for a moment before knocking on the main office doors, but whatever answer he got seemed to have irritated him given the scowl that formed on his face. He walked over to the PA’s desk that stood there, but no one was here. After a short moment, one could see the elevator doors open again and a small girl in a smart outfit walked in. Damian dashed to the shadows before she had a chance to notice him. 
Bruce resisted the urge to facepalm. He could already see where this was going. 
When the girl started to walk to the desk, his son suddenly reappeared with the sword drawn. He pressed the blade to her neck. From the angle, it was impossible to see either of them expressions. The man did not expect his son to kill a civilian for trespassing, but the amount of glee on Jason’s and Dick’s faces was suggesting that his headache hadn’t really started.
The girl suddenly grabbed the blade and pushed it away. Damian, probably acting on instinct, tried to cut her, but she just walked out of the way and disarmed his son before knocking him out. There was a short skip to when Jason and Dick entered the room. The small girl was clearly very much irritated with them from the start and when she reached her limits, she used a pencil as a projectile to open the elevator doors. 
A small smirk made its way to Bruce’s face when he saw her storm past his three sons, carrying the ninjato through a tissue. The video ended with Damian waking up.
“And that’s how Drake’s new PA trashed a certain Demon Spawn. I swear, she could probably give Luthor’s bodyguard a run for her money when it comes to being a badass” Jason commented on the silent video in his typical fashion. 
“Tt. She stole my sword.” Damian huffed.
“You mean the sword she later used to stab Riddler’s man before disarming him?”
“I still consider the best part of today when she called B. an overgrown furry,” Dick said trying to hold back on laugher.
“Wait. I have a new personal assistant?” Tim asked half-awake. 
“Yeah. She was supposed to be an intern, but apparently, Sarah hired her on the spot and quit.”
“Oh
 Cool.” Tim said and took a swing from his gargantuan cup. 
“Did you manage to pull the video of her taking down Riddler?” Bruce asked.
“The cameras malfunctioned before she even entered.”
“It was me,” Tim confessed. “I was still in my office when the alarm sounded. I keep a separate copy of my suit in a hidden compartment. To save time I dressed there, but I had to disable the CCTV
”
“Yeah yeah. Whatever.” Jason shut him up. “I also got the part when Damian’s eyes roll back as my new screensaver.”
“Tt. You’re lucky I don’t have my sword.”
“Don’t think you’re getting it back any time soon,” Bruce said in a stern tone and sighed. “What exactly do we know about her?”
“She is from Gotham, but she lives in Paris for some years. She said she was practicing martial arts since she was five.” Dick started
“She is also one bada
”
Jason was interrupted by Alfred, who entered the room with a plate full of cookies and tea. “A young woman just called. She asked me to forward a message to young master Damian.”
“Tt. What is it?”
“I quote. ‘Good luck getting your sword back now. Police took it as evidence. Suck it, Wayne.’ I believe the woman was young miss Chloe Bourgeoise.”
Dick, Jason, and Tim were literally rolling on the floor laughing. Bruce just facepalmed.
“No, you can’t break into the evidence room. You might jeopardize the whole investigation if you taint the evidence.” Bruce said in an exasperated tone. 
----------
It was late after midnight (or even early morning, depends on your definition) when the vigilantes returned from the patrol, only to meet Tim and Barbara working on something on Batcomputer in tandem. Whatever it was, they were completely devoted to it since neither realized they had company until Bruce made a coughing sound.
“Not now.” 
“What exactly are you doing?” The father inside Bruce resisted the urge to force-feed Tim some sleeping meds. 
“We’re doing the background check,” Barbara said while typing frantically.
“On my new personal assistant.” The boy supplied.
“oh?” Bruce raised an eyebrow.
“Like
 from what we found she is either the worst bitch on the block or strongest badass around.”
“Langauge master Tim.” Alfred scolded him. 
“Sorry. But like seriously! There are so many contradictions.”
“Check this out.” She pulled out a scan of a letter. It was largely creased, but still perfectly readable. “Her adopted parents one day disappeared, leaving her everything they owed sans some of their clothes. It was like they packed and left.”
“You suspect a foul play?”
“I’m not sure. The investigation was a joke and so was the follow-up proceeding. The interesting part is the custody battle that followed.” 
“Jagged freaking Stone and Parisian Mayor.” Tim interrupted Babs. “It ended with a compromise that Jagged was lawfully named her uncle and Mayor became her guardian. She was the one who suggested it.”
“How can one be lawfully named someone’s uncle?”
“Apparently one can in France. Or they just made some concessions to a celebrity. Seen weirder things.” He shrugged. “She was also his designer for years now. You remember that mysterious MDC?”
“The one you used to fawn over?” Bruce asked.
“She is brilliant so sue me.” The boy huffed. “Also, it stands for Marigold DĂ©sign et CrĂ©ation. She runs an internet boutique where she takes commissions from both commoners and celebrities.”
“What does it have to do with anything?” 
“I’m getting to that. Gee.” 
“Maybe I will get there?” Babs tried to take over. “She’s been working part-time as a babysitter to get funds to buy materials for new clothes and received nothing but praise. She also became a class representative. A successful one at that. She also holds the national championship in U-17 Mechastrike.”
“How is that important exactly?” 
“You wanted to know everything about her B., so we are giving you everything.” Tim sassed
“Just
 get to the important parts.” He shook his head. What did he do to deserve this?
“Fine. Her school records are a mess. Skipping that they wouldn’t hold to any official inspection, they straight-up contradict each other.” Tim waved his hand in some undefined gesture. “On one hand, she receives nothing but praise from the teachers, but at the same time, there are multiple bullying reports and even several assaults in here. Most of them were met with harsh punishments.” Tim opened a separate file. “Too harsh according to the school charter.”
“It didn’t help that the letter from her parents also mentioned these kinds of things.” Babs chimed in, trying to regain control of the tale. Bruce just gave an exasperated sigh. He just gave up and allowed them to solve it, mentally already cataloging the information. 
“Except! There were statements from several people that contradicted this. Especially Chloe Bourgeois. She said, ‘Puh-lease! Mari is the kindest doormat in the world. I was mean to her for years and she still welcomed me back with open arms.’ Given her track record, I’m inclined to believe it.” 
“There was also this Drama, capital ‘D’, with MDC stealing designs. Several tabloids caught the wind of it and it even led to the police investigation. Only after Jagged Stone intervened, the thing quickly shut up.”
“Now onto the juicy parts!” Babs smiled. 
“And that was what? An introduction?”
“Yup. She has a certified black belt in two different martial arts, is a master gymnast, has an IQ of over 130 and owns two separate businesses in Paris.” She quickly read. “As we mentioned, she is the honorary lawful niece of Jagged Stone, but also designed for Clara Nightingale, Nadia Chamack, worked with Gabriel Agreste, was offered an internship from Audrey Bourgeois before she became her ward. She was seen hanging out with Kagami Tsurugi, world-renowned fencer, and Luka Couffaine, the rising star under Jagged Stone’s tutelage.”
“That was fast.” Tim summarised. 
“Yeah. Also, she was adopted some nine years ago. She originally comes from Gotham.”
“Do we know her biological parents?” Bruce asked, getting serious.
“That’s where it gets juicy. When I tried to pull out her adoption files, the computer shut down to avoid detection. There is some serious encryption on it. Probably due to who her father is. We got some of it. She described her mother as ‘wearing an outfit that showed more skin than her beachwear’, so we suspect she was a prostitute.”
“Hm
 It’s not unheard of. You say she was with her mother until she was eight?”
“Between seven and nine the file said.”
“Hm
 Do you think she is a threat?”
“No. But I have a different question. Why didn’t the league investigate Paris’ supervillain?”
“We were made aware of him only recently, after what our satellites mistook for Poison Ivy attack,” Batman said in an irritated tone. The fact that there was a supervillain running around for close to four years completely undetected grated on his nerves. “Diana Prince has been investigating for some time now. She has it under control.”
“The only problem I see is that she is only sixteen,” Barbara pointed.
“I mean I’m barely seventeen and I ran this company for two years now. And don’t act high and mighty. You started playing Batgirl at fifteen.”
“Played?!” She screamed. 
“You wore a hoodie and carnival mask at first.”
This quickly developed into an insults contest until Bruce finally had enough. He just shook his head and left. Alfred silently followed him, carrying a plate of sandwiches. 
-----
The next morning, Mari woke up in her bed, with Chloe and her curled together in a mess of limbs and clothes. Of course, she panicked and jumped up, waking the blonde.
“Honestly, Goldie, five more minutes. I need my beauty sleep!” She murmured.
“Um
 Why are we in one bed?”
“Because you fell asleep hugging me yesterday and refused to let go at any point. I swear I wanted to get a crowbar. Ridiculous!”
“Sorry
” Mari gave her a sheepish smile.
“None of that! You ruined Lila’s face in one punch. Adrien texted me that in the end she lost seven teeth and will require plastic surgery for her nose not to look like a mashed potato.”
“No
!” Her eyes widened. 
“Yup.” Chloe grinned, popping the ‘p’. 
“That’s awful! I can already imagine how much the class will hate me now! And the employees that saw this! There were cameras there!”
“Some people actually applauded you. It could be also because you called Batman an overgrown Furry though
” Chloe’s voice wandered off. Mari collapsed onto the bed, head buried in the pillows.
“Kill me
”
“Can I kill you with hugs?”
“Fine
”
When the panicking bluenette finally calmed down, Chloe got her to sit down and showed her the headlines.
Brave WE employee saves dozens of lives!
A hero without a suit!
Civilian stopped Riddler!
Personal Assistant takes down a dangerous criminal!
They were all overly positive and showed much support. Only one tried to vilify her based on Lila’s comment and her being punched, but it quoted Ladyblog as a reliable source, so it was dismissed. The majority of the comments were also positive. The ‘overgrown Furry’ was already trending too. 
Only one of the articles contained the list of names of people killed in the attack.
Ted Black - a security guard, put himself between the bullet and another employee Sigfried Osborne - a security guard, died when he tried to stop them from entering Molly Bishop - a PR specialist, called the police when she thought the guards were busy Heidi Dickson - a security guard, killed in crossfire Craig Lloyd - an HR employee, wrestled the gun from one of the henchmen before he was shot in the back. Ethel Arson - A lawyer, killed in crossfire Christian Thorn - a security guard, shot two of the riddler’s henchmen in defense of a group of hostages.
Their room had several live plants on the rail. Mari walked to them and allowed her powers to flow. Slowly, the flowers bloomed. She picked seven beautiful flowers and put them on the table.
“Mari
 I’m sure they will understand if you don’t come to work today
” Chloe placed a hand on her best friend’s shoulder.
“No
 No. I won’t be scared into hiding by Riddler of all people.” She said with determination and some coldness in her voice. She stood up and walked to her suitcase. From there, she gathered a different outfit. Now she would wear a red shirt, a black blazer with the Ladybug logo on her right breast, a black pencil skirt, and black leather ballet shoes (she still hated heels). But the greatest change was her hair and eyes. She let go of her twin pigtails and allowed her wavy hair to run free. It was no longer black, instead turning dark blue with purple highlights. Her eyes also changed. Her bluebell eyes also changed. The iridescent green she used to suppress was now mixed with the normal eye color, giving an entrancing effect that was hard to stop looking at.
“It’s time to rock this place.” She smiled at her best friend.
------- (Play ‘Confident’ by Demi Lovato) --------
Marigold and Chloe entered the Wayne Enterprises in full stride. Flashing her pass, she got them through control without the queue or checking, much to the shock of the class (who still had no idea Mari was now technically their boss). Adrien showed the girls thumbs up. Lila was seething, but neither Chloe nor Marigold paid her any mind and guards didn’t let her follow them and straight-up kicked her to the back of the queue. 
Mari gave a nod to the receptionist, but they didn’t slow down. Elevator was about to close, but one of the employees held it for her. Once they entered, she quickly checked her tablet and the to-do list she had for that day. First stop: PR. Chloe was going to HR to receive a new mentor after
 the previous day.
When she entered the Public Relations department, Mari didn’t stop to chat with the employee that looked at her in awe. Her goal was the department’s head office and that’s where she would go. Gently knocking on the doors before entering, she pushed the doors. While she was smiling kindly, her whole posture screamed professional. 
“Hello. Mr. Drake will need the Friday press conference plan adjusted in response to what happened yesterday. There needs to be a mention of the event, as we won’t want to sound too detached. The press would tear us apart. Some gesture to show the public that we care
”
“Maybe a memory board in the lobby? And perhaps schedule Mr. Drake to visit each of the families somewhere next week?”
“I think it will be okay
” For a short moment, Mari allowed her confidence to drop, but she quickly gathered herself and made a note in her calendar. 
“If that’s all
”
“I will also need a press statement no later than by lunch.” She said quickly. “Make it a priority and forward it to me to read before you post it.”
“Yes, Ma’am.” The man smiled. Mari was about to leave when he spoke again. “And thank you for yesterday. Many people owe you their lives.”
She stopped in her tracks, unable to say a word. Finally, she regained her composure. “Thank you. I
 I’m coping.” 
As she left the office toward the elevator, Lila and Alya, who were interning in that department, tried to speak with her, but she didn’t even spare them a glance. Alya tried to grab her, but she was stopped by one of the older employees. As the elevator doors closed, Mari could see the girls receive a serious scolding. A grin made its way onto her face. Lila and Alya would have a really hard life for the next two months. Especially if she had anything to say about it. 
Her next stop was the security office. She entered it with a neutral expression, but it lasted only maybe five steps from the elevator. She didn’t tear up. She was a Gothamite inside. Right as one walked out of the elevator, there was a small bar, behind which a board was filled with pictures. Some looked really old, black and white or even sepia, while some others were high-quality and new. Roughly half of them were the clean pictures one would attach to a resume. The other half were profile pictures from social media. Or a photo that was taken in the forest. One was even a detailed drawing of a person. There were maybe fifty of them in total.
“It’s a reminder. Guards who lost their lives since the founding of WE” An older man said. “Silas Wayne started the tradition after he served in the Great War. You’re here for something miss?”
“Oh
 Yes. The security on Friday press conference. We must increase it by about fifty percent. And make sure that only those with invites can enter.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He saluted her.
“Um
” Mari suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable. 
“Don’t worry. It wasn’t your fault.” He said in a comforting voice.
“Thank you, sir.” She allowed a weak smile to enter her face before she left. Only two more stops. 
The elevator next took her to the Legal Department. She had many things that needed to be done here. Chloe met her as soon as she exited the elevator. Mari managed to regain her professional posture and once more emanated the aura of confidence. She wasn’t sure how long she could keep it up, but she was determined to show that she was okay. 
“I already forwarded your requests. At first, Madame McKinsley was reluctant, but apparently, our entrance is already the top corporate gossip. Good job Mari-bear.”
“Good. Thanks, Chlo. Now get back to work before someone sees me get friendly with an intern. I have a plan.” Before they separated, Marigold let a smile ghost her face. “One more thing. You’re free to unleash the foxes of war.”
Chloe lit up at that. Her whole demeanor changed to almost beaming light. She immediately started planning. Mari left her to the devious scheming and instead went to McKinsley office. The head of the Legal Department was a middle-aged woman with short, slightly graying brown hair and no-nonsense composure.
“Miss Bourgeoise informed me of your visit. I already had several documents prepared, but I will need clarification on several things.” She offered the young PA a chair, but Mari refused with a shake of her head. She opened her tablet and started to go through the list.
“First of all, the video that caused the attack was leaked by an intern. What actions exactly can be undertaken in response?”
“There are several options. We could terminate their contract entirely, but as it’s their first offense, it could’ve been seen as too harsh. It would also require to terminate all internships.” The woman was clearly unamused by the situation. Mari just raised her eyebrow and gave her a quizzing look.
“I’m not sure who in their right mind wrote their contracts, but when I track them down they are gonna get their ass demoted to toilet cleaner. It’s one big mess.”
“Don’t I know it
” Mari deadpanned. “So, other options?”
“We can move them between departments, so having them demoted to Toilet cleaners could also work, but it’s not exactly a legal punishment. The fact that it was Riddler really threw a wrench in any legal proceeding as he is clinically insane and the video was not directly calling him out and only speaking about him. I could give you the legal mumbo-jumbo, but the gist is that they are somewhat protected.”
“What about revoking their privileges?”
“Take that to HR.” 
“Will do. Now, about the next matter.”
“It was much easier. She can’t do anything to you, not even forward the bill. You were in shock and there are several recordings showing her taunting you. If she pushes it, she will lose. You’re a public hero right now. Good job by the way.”
“I was only doing what had to be done.” Mari brushed it, doing her best to keep a professional face. 
“Sure
” It was clear that McKinsley did not believe her.
“Now about the last thing?”
“Ah. The slander. I already directed it to our French and Italian departments, but it’s slow-going. That witch made it an international case. It will definitely bite her, but we have to be patient.”
“Brilliant. Thank you for your time.” Mari left the room with a grin on her face. Now onto the HR.
As she strode through the floor, people turned their heads to look at her. In the killing outfit, she looked older than she was and the aura of confidence and professionalism made her seem like a powerful woman. They had no idea just how powerful she was, but the way she carried herself was enough to make them shake in their shoes. 
----
When the doors of the elevator opened, Juleka and Rose were waiting for her. Both looked furious. Before either got a chance to say anything though, Marigold silenced them with a murderous glare that took away their voice. She strode past them looking fabulous. Any other employee removed themselves from her path to avoid her ire. The rumors were already circulating and the fact that she took down Riddler before Batman even arrived did wonder to her image. 
“Hello. I had an appointment.” She said when she entered the head of the department office. 
“Yes. Miss Dupain-Cheng. I was told you forwarded a list of topics, but an intern lost it.”
“Was this intern from my class?” She asked in a cold voice.
“Um
 Yes actually.” The woman said after checking a small post-it.
“Then it was probably sabotage.” Mari spat the words. “I asked to have a list of possible punishments in regards to the newest intern group prepared. Two of them were responsible for the leak. Sadly, as one of them is the class representative, she is quite popular.”
“Ah. Well
”
“First of all, both Alya Cesaire and Lila Rossi are to have all possible privileges revoked for breaking the rules. They leaked or were involved in the leak of video. Neither of them is to be handed anything more important than refilling a stapler or bringing someone coffee, to ensure they are no further threat to this company. They will also receive an official warning and an entry to their acts. They are also restricted to the lower floors. If possible, I want their access to electronic devices restricted. Maybe assign them a pager each so it doesn’t negatively impact their work.”
“Hm
 I will see what can be done, Ma’am.” The woman replied, already going through her notes.
“Good. Onto the next business, while it pains me to do it so fast, we need to hire more security as soon as possible. But make sure to triple check their backgrounds.” 
“Understandable.” 
“And the last thing. Why was Damian Wayne allowed to bring a ninjato into the building?”
“There is actually no restriction on bringing swords ma’am. We’re trying to fix it, but we’ve been blocked at every turn even when Mr. Wayne was the CEO.”
“And whose permission is needed?” Mari allowed a small grin.
“Yours would do. Sarah was always too stuck up to even leave her desk unless forced so she didn’t care that much.”
“Consider my permission granted. Forward the paperwork to me.”
“And if Mr. Drake disagrees?”
“He can try.” She said coldly, remembering how close she came to being cut in half.
“Oh
”
“Last thing. When is the top floor scheduled for repairs?”
“It should be done already. It was made to withstand an assault from a much larger force, so we only had to replace the furniture. Following the instructions that were left, we repotted the plants into bigger and more decorative pots. As per your request, we added some more plants.”
“Thank you. Plants always calm me down.”
“I prefer cat pictures.” She pointed at the wall where a cheesy calendar with a cat giving her thumbs-up was hanged. It took all of Marigold’s willpower not to burst into laugher at the image of Chat Noir posing for such a calendar.
“Good. Thank you.” With that, she left. This time, Rose and Juleka did not try anything. They were too terrified of her. 
Elevator took her all the way to the highest floor. When she exited, the floor was back to perfect condition and several more plants were awaiting her. She promised them silently to check on them soon and went to the main office. She knocked several times on the doors, but nobody answered. Hesitantly, she pushed the doors open, but no one was in the office. After double-checking with security, it turned out that Tim Drake did not show to work. She sighed. Looks like more work for her
 Just like Nathalie said.
----
NEXT
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princecharmingmendes · 4 years ago
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Best Friend's Brother | Raul Mendes
Growing up with your best friend is amazing, having this loving and caring relationship is fantastic, planning your lives together seemed natural, what Y/N didn’t include in her plans was falling in love with Raul Mendes, Peter’s brother.
Hi hi, lovies! I know, I know, I disappeared, but I’m back with a Raul piece! It’s been ages since the last time I posted something and I missed it so much! I had a really hard time writing for the past few weeks and I’m really happy that I was finally able to finish it. So I’m so sorry it took me way too long and thank you so much for being so patient, really 💘 I’ll stop rambling now! I hope you enjoy it!
*Word Count: 8.5k+
*Warnings: a few curse words, drinking, injure (sprained ankle in case this triggering), and I guess that’s it!
*Posted: October 5th, 2020.
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                                                     -*-
You could say Y/N was in trouble.
Growing up with someone right beside you will always create that invisible string that’ll keep you two together for, what some say, the rest of your life. It forms a bond so strong you can tell what they’re feeling just by a single look in their eyes and you just know exactly what to do. And if life allows you, you’ll keep them around for a long time and have them around you for every occasion, being it good or bad, but always near you to support you. And thankfully, that were the triplets for her. She met them in High School, Shawn was obsessed with music, Peter was the cute nerd that took amazing pictures and Raul was the typical bad boy and Y/N was a sweet and quiet bookworm. They met when she was asked to tutor Raul and he ended up asking her to meet him at his place, and that’s how she ended up with three best friends and a crush.
She was a bit closer to Peter since they had similar interests in general and also had similar plans on Friday nights, and they’re basically glued to the hip and everyone outside from their little bubble were one hundred percent sure they’re together somehow. And the fact that the three of them (Shawn was too busy touring the world) went to the same college didn’t exactly helped with the rumors. But in reality, the triplet that makes her heart skip a bit, her stomach to do flips and her breath to get caught on her throat was Raul. And if she was honest, how could someone honestly resist him? Girls who didn’t even know him normally wanted him, and Y/N knew him like the back of her hand and knew that behind the bad boy exterior there was the softest and biggest heart on the planet, was almost impossible to resist.
And even though she had all this feelings and felt all warm inside when he playfully winked at her, she never acted on them. Peter obviously knew about it, but she never told anyone else. Hell, she didn’t even tell him, he somehow managed to notice it.
Peter tried encouraging her to talk to him about it or do something about the whole thing, mostly because he was tired of seeing her suffering every single time she saw him with another girl, which wasn’t very uncommon. But she never did. Y/N doesn’t like comparing girls, that’s just mean, because everyone is different, and just because you don’t look like someone doesn’t mean you’re not enough or good at all, just makes you unique, but she can’t help thinking she’s not his ‘type’. Not that she noticed he has a specific body type or something, she’s just not the kind of person who would catch his eye.
It’s just he literally models on the side, goes to med school and has amazing grades, while still going on parties, having hook ups and living his best life while getting tattoos and having fun. While Y/N likes to light up a candle and read a good book on her couch, maybe with Peter while they eat some pizza and discuss from the latest thing that happened on campus to the theory of wormholes. They are close, they are friends, but they are polar opposites.
And the worst part? He acts as if she was the reason the sun rose every single day and treats her as if she’s the reason he’s capable of breathing, but in a “you’re my best friend and I love you like you are family” type of thing, not in a “I am hopelessly in love with you”. He was very touchy and big on pet names, specially when Peter went to sleep and it was just the two of them watching stuff on his living room, but never did anything to lead her into thinking he likes her more than a friend. It’s all her fault for looking too much into it and having her heart broken whenever he had a girl over when she was there (which wasn’t that common since he wasn’t big into having a serious relationship, at least not enough to bring someone to their flat) or when she saw him all heart eyes or making out with someone.
Y/N swears she tried burying those feelings down, even going as far as hanging out less with him and avoiding going to his place, taking way too long to reply to his texts and dodging him everywhere she could like the plague. He wasn’t having it, so he randomly showed up at her dorm room at midnight, looking like an abandoned puppy and begging her to forgive him for whatever he had done that upset her so badly. And that’s when she decided that maybe that wasn’t her greatest idea. That maybe all she needed to do was just to forget those stupid feelings and butterflies that felt like ripping out of her body whenever he smiled at her. Well, that didn’t work either. So, to sum it all up, Y/N was in trouble.
In a big, big, gigantic trouble.
                                                    -*-
So it was a Friday night when Peter called her to crash at his place so they could watch the last season of How to Get Away with Murder while he worked on a project for his class or something like that, and she agreed almost immediately, it’s not like she planned on doing much better. Y/N gathered what she considered to be important in a few seconds cause he told her he was going to pick her up since he was still on campus and ran to the entrance of her building, already seeing his car parked outside. The ride to his place was quiet and consisted on them basically talking about what theories they had for the end of the season since they met for lunch.
“I don’t think Raul’s home yet, his bike wasn’t on his usual parking space” Peter hummed as he opened the door to his apartment.
“Yeah, I didn’t see it either” was all she could answer. And Y/N didn’t know how to feel about it, it’s been a week since she had the chance to talk to him and she missed it,  but at the same time, she wasn’t going to end up a blushing mess around his natural flirty persona.
“Let me just grab my camera and computer, you can drop your stuff on the guest room if you want”
“Okay, don’t start the show without me” she said before starting to walk away and all she could hear was a ‘don’t take too long then’ Peter muttered under his breath.
She giggled to herself from his silliness as she placed her backpack on the bed and took off her shoes, getting rid of her jacket and pulling her hair in a loose ponytail, only grabbing her phone as she got back to meet Peter on the living room, already on the couch with his stuff around him as he let out a frustrated groan.
“What’s wrong, grumpy?”
“Raul’s an idiot, he took the remote to his room since he stepped on his or something like that and he’s too lazy to get his fixed or return the other one to its place”
“But is it in his room?”
“Probably, could you please grab it for me?”
“Wouldn’t he get mad I got into his room without him being around?”
“Oh please, Y/N, Raul mad at you? He’d probably get mad at me for making you go in there to grab it for us”
“It’s not like that”
“Of course it is, Raul could never even look at you slightly pissed, and even if he did, he’d feel guilty”
“If he gets mad I’ll tell him it was your fault”
“He won’t, honey, he’s not even home yet”
“Fine” she ended up giving up, arguing with Peter was always pointless.
So Y/N turned around and headed for Raul’s room, knocking tentatively and without response, she just got in and tried to find the control without looking at his stuff for too long, she didn’t want to be nosy. Since she was busy with the task of finding it, she didn’t notice the soft sounds coming from the bathroom or the gentle click of the door when someone opened it. Her attention was finally brought the other side of the room, when she hear someone clearing their throat. Her eyes widened as she looked up only to find Raul standing across from her, with his hair damp and naked apart from the fluffy towel hanging low on his hips.
He had a little smirk on his lips and a funny expression, but that didn’t stop from almost giving Y/N a heart attack. She started mumbling a string of apologies as she covered eyes with both hands, walking backward until she hit her head on a shelf and tripped over something, falling right on her butt.
“Ouch!” she said reaching one of her hands on the back of her head to try and relive some of the throbbing, still covering her eyes “I’m so so so incredibly sorry, I didn’t mean to simply walk in here, but we thought you weren’t home, and I knocked, and Peter told me to come in here to grab the remote, and said you wouldn’t mind, and...”
“Hey, no, it’s okay” Raul said hurriedly, walking towards her a crouching down in front of her, lightly wrapping his fingers around her wrists “Y/N, it’s okay, look at me, love”
And with the gentle tug on her hands she decided to let go, opening her eyes to be met with his honey orbs “I’m so so sorry, I really didn’t mean to invade your privacy, if I knew you’d be here I wouldn’t- I would never come in, please don’t be mad at me, please”
“Oh, sweetheart, there’s no reason for you to apologize, really, I’m not even naked, or completely naked at least, and even if I was? wouldn’t have minded, yeah?” Raul said gently cupping her face “and I’m not mad at you, how could I ever be mad at you? You’re the sweetest person I know and you didn’t do anything wrong”
“I’m sorry” Y/N mumbled softly and he just chuckled, leaning in and pressing a kiss at the top of her head.
“It’s okay, are you staying the night?”
She nodded “we’re having a marathon, we’re rewatching How to Get Away with Murder”
“Oh, do you mind if I join?”
“You’re not busy?”
“Not at all, but it’s okay if you want to watch just the two of you”
“No, of course not, you can join us if you want”
“Are you ordering food or do you want me to make us something?”
“We didn’t order anything, and I don’t want to bother you with cooking”
“I’d gladly do it, I can make us something quick so it won’t get in the middle of your shows
“I really don’t want to bother you, Raul”
“It’s not a bother, come on, the remote is over there, I’ll change real quick and make us something to eat, and you two can start the show, I’ll meet you guys in the middle, yeah? Sounds good?”
“Sounds amazing”
“Now go, you pervert, I need to change” he said trying to hold back a laugh.
“Oh, sure” she mumbled as she scrambled to get back at her feet.
“Or you can just stay and enjoy the show" Raul threw a wink at her direction as she was already by the door.
Y/N only closed his door a bit harsher than she should, feeling her whole body heating up, she just couldn’t decide if it was of embarrassment or... something else. She shook her head to get rid of the dirty thoughts about her best friend’s brother out of her head and got back to Peter at the leaving room. Seeing he was sitting at the armchair, with all of his stuff around him for him to work comfortably, leaving her the loveseat.
“Oh hey, is Raul at home?!”
“Yeah, he was at the shower, so thank you for putting me in that position”
“Was he mad at you?”
“No”
“Told ya, got the remote?”
“Yeah, by the way, he’s going to make us dinner and join us later”
“Oh, thought he was going out tonight” Peter said opening his computer  “do you want to arrange the show?”
“Don’t you think we should wait for him?”
“Nah, don’t think so”
“Wait for who?” Raul asked coming out of the hallway wearing a pair of sweatpants and thin white T-shirt.
“You, to start the show” Peter answered without looking up from the screen.
“Oh no, go ahead, I’ll make us some food and I’ll bring you guys some, okay?”
“Do you need help?”
“No, it’s okay, sweetheart, it’ll be pretty basic”
Y/N hummed in response as she started the first episode and things were as normal as every Friday she spent watching anything with Peter. Only this time, he was a bit less focused on the show and more on his work, but still was able to make comments about the all the scenes. They would both laugh and joke around a lot more than actually watch anything, specially since this wasn’t the first time they watched this. Almost at the end of the first episode, Raul showed up with plates of a very appetizing looking pasta, placing one in front of Peter and one on Y/N’s lap. He went back into the kitchen and coming back with his own, plopping down beside Y/N.
“This is the first, right?”
“Yeah, the end of it”
“Oh, it’s been a while since the last time I watched it, I don’t think I’ve ever finished it”
“Really?”
“I kind of forgot it, I was watching another one at the time, but I remember liking it a lot”
“Well it’s a great thing we decided to follow the episodes and not just jump into our favorites, and by the way, this is amazing”
“Oh, thanks, it’s really simple actually”
“Don’t even start, you always make the most basic stuff like grilled cheese taste like gourmet food”
“He just likes to be praised” Peter said with a chuckle.
“Fuck off, Peter” Raul chuckled and before he could throw a pillow at him, Y/N grabbed his wrist “hey!”
“His camera is there”
“Oh”
“Thanks, Y/N, but this pasta is actually amazing, I have to give you that”
“Was that too hard?” Raul asked and Peter just shrugged with a laugh.
“Maybe we should focus on the show” Y/N said pressing the next episode before they both decided to start something.
Peter got up after they finished dinner to place everyone’s dishes in the sink, going back to his place and work silently. As they watched the episodes, Peter was getting silent as he focused more on his work and Raul was the one commenting on the episodes and talking to Y/N. Which she didn’t mind at all. He was always pretty funny and manage to make her laugh at the silliest jokes.
Maybe that’s the reason so many people were attracted to him. He had a mysterious vibe going on, since he was pretty close with people in general, but could be a sweetheart with the close ones, he had the looks that had everyone’s head turning, he was funny and intelligent. He’s just so good and she hates to admit that even her fell for his charming smile and golden heart. And when he leaned a bit closer to her as the episodes went by, she hated to admit that her body felt a bit warmer and she was itching to lean into him as well. But what made it worse was him laying his head on her lap as he wrapped himself in a throw blanket, giving her a sheepish smile and turning back to the TV. That had her fingers practically moving to its own accord to tangle on his curls, and she couldn’t help but brush them out of his face. And just as she was about to mumble an apology, he let out a content sigh and leaned into her hand.
After a few moments Peter looked up at them and just chuckled softly, and as Y/N looked up at him he just shook his head and pointed towards Raul “He fell asleep with you playing with his hair, just like a puppy”
“Do you think he’ll mind when he wakes up?” she said barely above a whisper.
“Not at all, he loves you, he can never be upset with you”
“That’s not true”
“It is, ask Shawn or Aaliyah, they’ll agree, he’s got a soft spot only for you”
“Shut it, Peter, we’ve known each other for years, he’s just nice because I’m your best friend”
“That’s not true, but I’ll drop it, I think I might go to bed now”
“Okay, I think I’m going to finish this episode”
“You know you can wake him up, right?”
“I know, I just don’t know if I feel like doing it”
“I can do it for you” Peter offered as he gathered his stuff.
“No, it’s okay, I’m going to finish this episode first”
“Do you want me to roll out the sofa and make it more comfortable for you? You don’t have to move”
“Yes please”
“Okay” he answered as he leaned down to extend the couch into a kind of makeshift bed as carefully as he could to not disturb his brother “call me if you need anything”
“Okay, thanks, Peter” she said smiling at him as he shook his head and leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead.
“Goodnight, dummy”
“Night, Peter”
He grabbed his stuff and threw one last look at her direction, but she was far too distracted with Raul’s curls to have noticed, and he caught a glimpse of his brother slowly opening his eyes, only to close them again and nuzzle closer to Y/N. Peter hold back a laugh as he went back to his room, he would never figure out how the most brilliant people he knew could be so oblivious.
                                                    -*-
Y/N didn’t intend to fall asleep, but the warmth radiating from his body, the soft light coming from the TV and the soft cushions lulled her to sleep without her even noticing. She only noticed she fell asleep when she woke up to rushed whispers in the living room and the soft click of the front door closing.
She was a bit confused, but the strong Raul’s strong scent and the comfortable position she was currently at made it hard for her to come back into consciousness. But as soon as she opened her eyes, Y/N noticed she had her face nuzzled into Raul’s neck, with her body partially on top of him and cuddled close with his arm around her waist. Her immediate  thought was to pretend to be asleep so she could come up with a better plan of getting rid of the embarrassment. But before she could do anything, she heard Raul’s warm chuckle.
“Morning, sweetheart” he said combing his fingers through her hair gently, almost making her melt back into his chest.
“Hi” she said sitting up and knuckling at his eyes softly “I didn’t even notice when I fell asleep”
“Me neither, I was completely drained”
“I’m sorry for -you know, being on top of you”
“Oh, it’s okay, I woke up in the middle of the night and I didn’t feel like waking you up, cause you seemed so peaceful, so I just rearranged us, and I guess we ended up cuddled”
“Yeah” Y/N said brushing her hair out of her face.
“You know I don’t mind, right?”
“Mind what?”
Raul gave her a knowing look and she could feel her face beating up “It happens, sweetheart, and there’s no reason to be ashamed, I slept like a baby with you”
“Oh, I slept well too, is Peter gone already?”
“Yeah, he said something about having to buy something for his camera or something like it”
“He saw us?”
“You make it seem like we were doing something so scandalous, he found it cute actually” he said with a chuckle.
“Oh, okay”
Raul gently grabbed her hand and placed a kiss at the back of it “Relax, darling, hungry?”
“A bit, yeah”
“Want to go and grab breakfast? I can drop you home after if you want”
“That’d be amazing, but only if you’re available”
“Of course I am, I always have time for you, now let’s go, I’m starving”
“Already?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to wake up for a while now”
“Why?!”
“Didn’t want to disturb you, you needed to rest, sweetheart”
“You’re too sweet”
“Only for you” he said throwing a little wink on her direction.
He had no idea how much that affected her.
                                                    -*-
Aaliyah’s birthday was always an amazing event. The triplets always committed to provide her the best birthday they could every single year and they never let her down. It has always been like this since the triplets parties were always nice for the three boys, they felt like they needed to give her the best time possible. She was their little baby after all.
This year was no different.
Her seventeenth birthday party was beautiful and she was literally gleaming, surrounded by her closest friends and family. Raul had a tough week and was feeling a bit off for a few days, there were many reasons to it but he could never ruin his sister’s birthday, so he put on his best smile and went smoothly along with his siblings. He tried his best having fun and forgetting about everything else, but he about half an hour into the party he sat down by the bar and decided just to sit there and drink until he felt lightheaded. Raul just sat there and watched everyone, sometimes having a small talk with anyone who sat down beside him, but mostly, his gaze was constantly searching for Y/N. He didn’t mean to act like a thirteen year old boy with a school crush, he didn’t even mean to keep on searching for her, but she looked so damn adorable he couldn’t help it. She was wearing a beautiful summer dress, in a peachy color that accentuated her gorgeous curves and of a silky kind of material, urging him to run his hands through it. But he knew better, he knew her since they’re kids and he knew he wasn’t what she needed or wanted, or at least, that’s what seemed. So he just stood there, watching from a safe distance and from time to time, but as soon as he started feeling tipsier than he desired, he decided to move away from the bar and take a breath of fresh air.
As soon as he got in the balcony, he let out a sigh of relief as he noticed no one was around, so he would have a least a little bit of peace. He placed both of his hands on the stone railing, feeling his footing not the most balanced one, maybe he had too many drinks for the night and maybe he should go back and grab a bottle of water and something to eat. But before he could actually really think about it, Raul heard a pair of heels clicking behind him, and since no one called him or made a noise to call his attention he just ignored. He felt the person coming closer and he saw on his peripheral the same coloured dress he’d been staring all night. As he turned his face slightly on the person’s direction, he saw Y/N standing beside him, mimicking his position and looking down at the city. Neither of them felt like breaking the silence, so they just enjoyed each other’s company in a comfortable silence. At least until he saw her body shivering from the colder temperature it was outside, which led him to taking out his leather jacket for her and handing it to her.
“It’s okay, I don’t want you to be cold” Y/N mumbled as if not to disturb the peaceful environment.
“I’m okay, sweetheart, but you’re visibly cold”
“Thank you” she said giving him a soft smile that made his whole body warm up as she put on his jacket, wrapping her arms around her own body “but let me know if you need it back”
Raul chuckled “Fine”
“So
 Are you going to pretend everything’s okay?”
“What do you mean?”
“Raul, I’ve known you all my life, you don’t have to tell me what’s wrong, you just don’t have to act as if you’re fine around me”
“It’s silly and nothing to worry about, really, you should go and enjoy the party”
“I’m okay here, actually, ’m a bit tired”
“Oh” he said with a nod and looked forward at nothing in particular.
“And I also didn’t want to leave you all alone, and I want you to know that I’m here in case you want to talk”
“Thank you” he said turning to face her and she looked up at him ‘’you’re beautiful, but tonight you look just perfect”
“Oh, thanks” Y/N brushed the hair out of her face “you look gorgeous, as always”
“Yeah, I do, right?” he joked as she giggled, making a smirk appear on his lips.
“Yeah, right” she said looking down at the city.
Raul spoke up after a few moments of silence, regretting almost immediately “I saw you with Mike yesterday”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah, you’re leaving the movies at the mall, Peter asked me to buy his new lens and I saw the both of you, was it nice?”
“What?”
“The date”
“Oh, no, it wasn’t like that, he’s actually into Jeff and we go to the same classes since I got in college, he needed to vent and to get distracted, so we went to see a movie”
“Sorry, I had no idea”
“No need to apologize, you didn’t do anything wrong”
And back to the silence. Raul was embarrassed for bringing it up and relieved in a very selfish way she wasn’t going out with him. And he was also afraid he was going to blurt another inappropriate question or comment, the alcohol normally tended to make him lose his filter.
“Was it a shitty week?”
“Huh?” Raul hummed looking back at her.
“Was it a shitty week? That left you like this”
“Yeah, I guess you can say that”
“Is it about the girl you were seeing?”
“Anna? No, we’re not going out anymore, I haven’t even seen her in a while” He answered taking a deep breath “It’s just, sometimes I wish I had someone that understood me, that was there for me, that cared about me besides my family, I don’t know, and I had so much work to do this week was insane, I’m sorry for rambling, I’m just- I don’t even know, I’m sorry”
“Hey, it’s okay, you can ramble as much as you want, sometimes it gets hard, and you should know by now that I’m here for you and that I care for you, yeah?” Y/N said reaching for his hand and squeezing it lightly and he nodded, pulling her into a hug.
“Thank you” he mumbled against her hair as she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly.
“Now come on, let’s sober you up a bit for the cake, okay?” she said placing her chin on his sternum to look up at him and he nodded chuckling lightly.
“Whatever you want, sweetheart”
“Don’t give me this amount of power, Raul, I might regret it”
“Would never regret it, ’sides, I’m already yours for you to do whatever you want” he said and her heart did a flip, but she only giggled.
“Oh, darling, you have no idea of the mistake you just made” she said grabbing his hand as he slotted their fingers together, letting her drag him back inside.
And to be honest? The party was much better after she showed up to talk to him, specially since she was practically glued to his side making sure he was having a good time.
                                                   -*-
To say Y/N and Raul got closer was an understatement. Since his sister’s birthday, they were hanging out pretty much every single day they could, Peter was involved almost all of the time, but something that didn’t happen before was only Y/N and Raul going out alone just for the sake of hanging out. And even though it was completely new, it felt completely natural as if they’re the closest for years. So, for the past month she felt really connected to him and she also felt her crush multiplying like crazy, which could end up pretty bad, but she couldn’t stop herself from being closer and wanting to be around him. And when Shawn called Raul on FaceTime one night and who picked up was Y/N he was delighted. He was coming home on the next weekend and he suggested they went camping, like they did when they’re younger, renting cabins, bonfire, guitar and marshmallows type of thing.
And of course the triples were instantly excited and planning everything and Y/N was included on the camping trip from the moment she picked up the phone, her wanting or not. Not that she was opposed.
So they rented the cabins, one for Peter and Y/N, one for Shawn, Brian and Raul, and one for Mark, one of the guys’ friend and his girlfriend. Raul took her to the market the night before of the trip to buy supplies and food (mostly snacks, but Raul insisted on buying at least some stuff to make a real meal).ul insisted on buying at least a few things to make a real meal for them “we can’t survive two days with cookies and marshmallows, baby”). He even went to her place to help her pack and offered her to stay the night and his flat with Peter so she could sleep a bit more before they hit the road the next day. She couldn’t deny, specially when Peter was complaining Raul was stealing her from him and that he missed her, and since Raul was pouting and begging while using the silliest pet names he could come up with, and he was pretty creative.
When the time to wake up and get ready to leave, she was awaken by rowdy boys on the hallway, clearly too excited to go camping, just like children as they practically bounced on their feet. The ride was pretty nice, she even took a nap on Shawn’s shoulder as Raul and Peter listened to something on the radio softly and chattered about random stuff. Arriving there brought back that nostalgic feeling of when they’re young and came here twice a month on summer days. They quickly dropped their bags on their respective cabins and went out the explore, going to the lake until it was lunchtime and everyone was starving.
After resting a bit, they decided to go on a hike up the hill to watch the sunset from the top of it. Which was clearly filled with jokes, laughs and a bunch of random pranks they pulled off. If anyone was to tell their age, they’d never say anything over 15 years old. Sarah, the only girl on the group apart from Y/N was pretty nice and was walking side by side with her, laughing at the boys and just talking about everything when Raul came back, face flushed from laughing too hard and grabbing Y/N’s hand.
“I was informed your boyfriend misses you and I’m here to keep miss Y/N company”
“Very well then” she said giggling and throwing Y/N a knowing look and a little wink, walking a bit faster to reach John.
“What?” Y/N asked as she heard Raul laughing “what did you do?”
“Hey! I didn’t do anything”
“Oh really?”
“I did not! Brian did though”
“Oh God, what is it then?”
“He might’ve pushed John into the mud” Raul said sheepishly and Y/N laughed.
“And why do you seem so guilty?”
“Cause I was the one who saw it”
“Of course you did” she said slightly bumping her shoulder into him.
“I wasn’t the one who pushed him though”
“That’s true, but doesn’t make you completely innocent”
“It’s not my fault I pay attention to stuff”
“No, but it is your fault telling Brian you saw it”
“You got me there” he said bumping her shoulder back as he chuckled and she laughed shaking her head.
“Hey, lovebirds, come on, it’s almost staring!” Shawn shouted a few feet away already at the top.
Y/N felt her cheeks heating up and Raul just laughed, walking to where everyone was already waiting for the sunset.
They sat down to watch the process, and since they’re both the last ones to reach the top, they sat down in the end of the semicircle they formed. Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder and he did the same, laying his head on top of hers as they chattered watching the sun to set on the horizon. Y/N’s heart felt a bit warmer being so close to Raul and having such a beautiful view. He grabbed one of her hands and placed it on his lap, carefully playing with her fingers and tracing random patterns at the back of her hand.
“Maybe we should go back before if gets too dark” Peter suggested as everyone got up and grabbed their stuff.
On the way back the guys were trying to make it as an obstacle course, always making fun of every situation as Y/N and Sarah laughed leading the way. At least until Brian called out Y/N when she started roaring with laughter as he fell face first on the mud.
“That’s what I call Karma”
“It’s easy to laugh and not do anything princess, bet I can get to the cabin before you do”
“Well, I was on the tracking team”
“Well, I’m better than you”
“First one to get there is free from all the chores?”
“Deal” Brian said “on three, who’s counting?”
“I am!” John chirped in.
“This is not the greatest ide-” Peter was cut off by John”
“3... 2... 1 and GO!”
That was all it took for both of them to start running down the hill as they laughed, the others hurrying their steps to follow them. The cabins weren’t that far and as soon as Y/N got there, she tripped in one of the firewoods the guys placed there sooner, falling down and feeling the pain crawling up her leg in a burning sensation.
“Fuck, Y/N!” Brian was the first to arrive, kneeling down beside her “are you okay?! Are you hurt?! What the hell?! Who let this shit in here?!”
“It’s okay, I-“ her words got caught in her throat as she tried to move her feet to get up, feeling her eyes welling up with tears from the burning sensation.
“Y/N!” Raul shouted rushing towards her, flopping down beside her “what happened?”
“She tripped on the damn firewood someone left here early”
“It’s not their fault” she let out with her voice a bit strained.
“It doesn’t matter right now, what’s hurting, baby?”
“My foot”
“Which one?”
“Left”
“Can I see it?” he asked and she just nodded, knowing that if she spoke another word her voice would break and she would start crying for real.
“Holy shit, what’s going on?” Shawn was the first to ask.
“She tripped and now she’s hurt”
“Do you need me to get you something?!” Peter was the first to offer.
“Yeah, I brought an aid kit in case something happened, it’s in the car, also, grab me a bottle of water” Raul said almost robotically as he carefully worked on taking her shoe off “it’s swelling, it looks like a sprained ankle, but it doesn’t seem like you feared any ligaments for now”
“Should we go back?” Shawn asked.
“No! Please don’t!” Y/N barely chocked out as Raul looked up at her and she focused on looking at him because it was calming her a bit “I don’t want you guys to miss all the fun due to my clumsiness”
“Honey, we don’t mind, we ca-”
“Please, Shawn, I- no, okay? I want to stay, and it’s dangerous to drive at night” Y/N cut him off, still looking directly at Raul.
“Here!” Peter said coming back with a bag.
“Thanks, I don’t think it’s too bad” Raul finally said “I’ll keep on checking it through the night, if the swelling gets too bad or if there are any signs that she might have tore or stretched a ligament I’ll take her back, is that okay?” he asked and she just nodded, looking down at her lap.
“You should stay with her tonight, I can spend the night with Shawn and Brian if she doesn’t mind” Peter offered.
“I’d appreciate it, do you mind, Y/N?” Raul asked and she nodded “okay, I’ll take her to her cabin so we can have a better look at it and shower, can you guys take care of the bonfire?”
“Sure, do whatever you need to” John said.
“Okay, can I pick you up, sweetheart?” and again she just nodded, so he picked her from the ground bridal style and carried her back to (now) their cabin.
“I’m okay, you don’t have to do this”
“Of course I do, and it’s okay, we need to put some ice on it, where do you want to sit?”
“Not on the bed, I’m probably too dirty to sit there”
“Okay” he replied placing her down on an armchair, with her feet up “wait just a sec” he said before going through the mini fridge to retrieve an icepack “here”
“Thank you”
“It’s okay, sweetheart” Raul said kneeling down beside her on the floor “is it hurting?”
“A bit, it was worse before”
“Okay, good, you can’t put much weight on it, yeah? Or it’ll only get worse” Raul softly grabbed her hand, lightly thumbing at her knuckles “if you need anything, just let me know and I’ll do it for you, yeah?”
“You don’t have to do this, I don’t want to bother you”
“You won’t, don’t worry about it”
“Raul, you’re literally going to have to babysit me, I’m ruining your weekend”
“You’re not ruining my weekend”
“Of course I am, this is what you do every single day, you’re supposed to be free to relax and not take care of people all the time”
“This is different, this is you we’re talking about and I really don’t mind spoiling you and caring you around the whole campsite if it need be, besides, I like doing what I do, so it’s no bother at all, you’re not ruining everything, now try to relax a bit, you don’t need sore muscles to appear too”
“Okay” Y/N squeezed his hand lightly.
“Good, I’m going to grab my stuff and hand Peter his, is it okay?”
“Yeah, sure”
“Be right back” he said placing a kiss to her forehead and leaving.
Y/N reached into her bag to grab a book to pass the time, Raul quickly came in and said we was going to shower so she would be free to do the same when the ice was done. She got so deep into reading it, that she barely noticed when he got out of the shower, only realized he was in the room when she her gentle humming to a song. Looking up from behind her book, only to find Raul with only a towel wrapped around his hips, looking through his duffle bag for something to wear. Y/N really tried to look away quickly, but maybe her brain was too clouded by him to actually make a quick move, and since he was literally standing in front of a mirror he caught her glimpsing at him, causing his famous smirk to appear on his lips as he got back into the bathroom to get dressed.
“Don’t” Y/N warned before he could even say a word when he came out with a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie.
“What?”
“Just don’t, I know you”
“Sweetheart, you don’t have to be shy, you can look, I don’t mind, I actually like it”
Y/N scoffed and threw the pillow that was behind her at him as he laughed “Fuck off, Raul”
“Okay, stinky lady, let’s get you to the bathroom, I got a little plastic chair for you to sit instead of being on your feet”
“Hey! I’m not stinky”
“Oh really? How can you be so sure?”
“Shut up, Raul, I hate you”
“Fine, then you won’t be taken to the bathroom”
“Okay, then I’ll walk!” Y/N said standing up and before she could put her feet to the floor, Raul was swiping her off her feet (quite literally) and she let out a squeak as he chuckled “put me down!”
‘’Nope, you can’t simply walk without a cast or something, so I’ll be your knight and shining armour”
“My saviour” she mumbled rolling her eyes and he laughed, pressing a kiss to her cheek and placing her seated on the little plastic chair for her shower.
“Okay, smelly girl, do you need help with anything?”
“I think I’m good, can you just grab me something to wear?”
“Sure, ma’am”
And with that he left, only to come back with a similar look to his and left her to shower. It wasn’t the easiest event of her life, but she managed it just fine, trying to get out to the door by jumping in only on foot, and as soon she opened the door to the bedroom, Raul was already there by her side with furrowed brows, hands on her waist to steady her and helping her to the bed as he informed her they had a bonfire ready and food as well outside. And they decided to grab some shoes and meet the rest of the group outside, Raul tried wrapping her foot the best he could to imobilize it with what he had there, and he did a pretty great job. So they sat down on the little wood kind of benches already on the ground with everyone, and they started talking about the most random stuff and Brian was trying to convince everyone to tell creepy stories like the movies, which quickly turned into a huge joke cause they couldn’t be serious for a long time. The environment was pretty light and filled with laughs as they ate the burgers Peter was making, Shawn even grabbed the guitar and played some songs, that were quickly ruined by everyone else shouting atop of his voice and messing up the lyrics. As they started to roas the marshmallows and calm down a bit, acting like civilized humans again, Y/N started to feel a bit sleepy.
She was wrapped up in a cozy blanket with Raul, making her just absolutely toasty and comfy, a bit drowsy from the painkillers she took and all the food, feeling just delighted to be surrounded by this people. She loved to be around the triplets, and Brian and John have been around long enough that she was completely used to them and liked them very much. They always made sure she was okay and having fun, the whole Mendes Family if she’s honest, she always felt very welcomed and glad to have them around, specially since she grew up with them. Maybe it was all of that great feeling, associated with the medicine and the that comforting feeling, she felt herself leaning into Raul a bit as Y/N struggled to stay awake, and instead of pushing her softly or saying something about her falling asleep too soon, he wrapped his arm around her welcoming her in his arms as she laid her head on his chest. She heard his warm chuckle as he placed a kiss on the top of her hair.
“Do you want to go to bed?” he asked softly rubbing intricate shapes on her back in a gentle way and she shook her head “let me know whenever you’re ready, yeah?”
She just nodded, nuzzling closer to him and without even noticing, she fell asleep.
                                                      -*-
She woke up what felt only moments later feeling her body moving and when she opened her eyes, she noticed that Raul was placing her on the bed for the night.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you” Raul whispered, pulling the covers up her body.
“It’s okay, I didn’t mean to fall asleep”
“It was a long day, sweetheart, it’s only natural” he said going to grab them each a bottle of water and flopping down beside her and she giggled.
“Thank you”
“For what?”
“For taking care of me and being the sweetest person”
“You don’t have to thank me for anything, you deserve it”
“But I do” Y/N said knuckling at her eye and reaching out for his hand, slotting their fingers together and squeeze it gently “thank you”
Raul smiled and leaned in to place a kiss at her forehead “you’re so beautiful, you know that, right?”
“Stop being silly” she laughed as he feigned an insulted expression.
“I’m not, you’re just the prettiest girl I’ve ever met and I’ve always thought this”
“Oh really? Aren’t you just trying to butter me up?”
“Me? I would never do that!” Raul scoffed and she just chuckled giving him a knowing look “okay, okay, you caught me, I’m just trying to steal your heart”
Y/N gasped “why would you do that to me?”
“Because I want it”
“For what? I’m not an athlete anymore, it’s a poor heart, and I love junk food, you won’t be able to sell it”
“You’re ridiculous, you know?”
“Look, you have to decide if I’m pretty, smelly or ridiculous, can’t be all of them” she said and he laughed.
“You’re impossible”
“Oh great, thanks, can you elaborate?”
“Don’t feel like doing it, no” he said and she rolled her eyes, turning away from him on the bed.
“Fine, then goodnight” Y/N turned off the lamp from her side of the bed and he chuckled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her back flush against his chest “Hey! I-“
“Do you really want to know?” he said taking a deep sigh and burying his face on her neck.
“Well, if there’s an explanation to it, then yeah, but I was just being dramatic and-“
Raul cut her off trying to gather all the courage possible “There is and I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a while, I was just trying to find the best timing and not ruin our friendship”
“You won’t end our friendship, yeah? You can just tell me” she said trying to turn in his arms but he had a vice grip on her, so she just gave up, interlacing their fingers together.
“We’ve known each other for years now, and even though you are closer to Peter most of the time, I couldn’t help it but want you closer. You’re always the cutest and sweetest little thing, always caring about the people around you and taking care of others, and being this funny smart person that always make the environment better around you, so I felt drawn to you. And for years I pushed it aside cause you’re always shy around me and I thought you just weren’t interested so I never made a move or something, but recently that was proven to be impossible, since that night you spent over and we slept on the couch I’ve been wanting to ask you about it or just do something about it“ Raul slowly loosened the grip on her and she decided to turn around to face him “You’re not impossible, maybe sometimes when you really want something, but what was really impossible was not falling for you, and you don’t have to say anything, I just thought you should know”
And Y/N couldn’t even speak and she wanted to. She was just speechless. The guy she had a crush on for years just told her he liked her, what the hell was she supposed to say?! She truly wanted to shout that she liked him too, that she wanted him too and that she felt like this for years, but the only thing she could do instead of gaping him like a fish was lean forward and press their lips together, and that’s what she did.
Raul was completely shocked at first and didn’t react at all, which made Y/N instantly regret her decision starting to pull back, but before she could completely pull away, Raul cradled her face in his hand and smeared their lips together in a sweet yet passionate kiss, pulling her closer as she wrapped her fingers in his hair, tangling on his curls. Y/N couldn’t believe this was actually real, the only thing that made her understand this wasn’t a dream, was the warmth and butterflies spreading through her body as he swept his tongue on her bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth genlty. Her head was spinning when they finally parted for air without actually leaning away. Raul rested his forehead on hers as they both panted softly, a bright smile spreading on his lips and Y/N just chuckled, making him do the same.
“I’ve had a crush on you for years now, you idiot” she said and he laughed.
“So sweet” he retorted and she laughed.
“But it’s true! I thought I was so obvious!”
“If I knew I wanted me too I would’ve done it sooner” he said before leaning in and pressing another kiss to her lips.
“Well maybe I should’ve said it sooner”
“Well, we can change that now, but I can take you on a date as soon as we get back and your feet is a bit better”
“Or we can just ignore my feet and go!”
“Not a chance, we can hang out at my place or yours and then go out”
“Sounds pretty nice”
“Then it’s settled”
“Oh, we have to deal with Peter”
“Hm, we can deal with him tomorrow, yeah? Really don’t want to think about my brother right now” he said pulling her to his chest and she giggled.
Okay, maybe she wasn’t completely fucked as she thought a month ago.
                                                     -*-
*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.
*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.
*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!
*Hope you guys enjoyed it!
*xoxo
-🌙
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featherymalignancy · 4 years ago
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PART TWO — The Eyes of Texas: A Rowaelin Origin Story 🏐 đŸș ♄ 
  Long before Cash and Nesta, there was Rowan and Aelin.
Rowan Whitethorn—a Navel academy graduate and recently discharged second lieutenant from the United States Navy—takes a break from studying of the police academy exam in Los Angeles to fly back to his native Hawaii and compete in a twos volleyball tournament with his ex, one of the best sand players on the amateur circuit.
Beyond Remy’s devious machinations to win Rowan back, the biggest impediment to victory is the so-called Ashryver twins, a pair of cousins from Miami with a reputation of their own. Rowan can’t help but admire the gorgeous and sharp-tongued Aelin Galathynius, who’s more than ready to give Remy a run for her money—both on the court and in the race for Rowan’s affection.
This takes place in the same AU-verse as my Nessian story In Vino Veritas, about four years before. 
This a two-shot, you can find  PART I here.
The Eyes of Texas, PART TWO
By midnight, Rowan knew he was in deep shit.
They’d migrated to another bar by that time, Aelin practically in his lap as they traded stories about college and their friends. Rowan found himself caught between despair and delight as he listened to Aelin speak, unsure if he should be reveling in the attention from a woman of her caliber, or fretting that it couldn’t last.
It wasn’t just that Aelin was beautiful, though he was admittedly so mesmerized by those blue eyes and that dazzling smile that he had to actively avoid staring.
She was funny, too.
And not “when a sexy woman makes a joke you feel oddly compelled to laugh” type of funny, either.
She was fucking hilarious.
She’d had him in stitches earlier with a story about getting the business-end of her grandmother’s chancla after she’d gone to Easter mass with blue teeth from her candy basket, and he’d hardly stopped laughing since.
Rowan had always been a somewhat serious person—even more so after Lyria’s death—but Aelin made him feel...younger. Lighter. And he might have felt guilty for that, except he’d had the oddest sensation throughout the evening that Lyria was there, laughing alongside him.
And—as if gorgeous and hysterical weren’t enough—Aelin was also incredibly bright. Despite the rigors of her volleyball schedule, she was a neuroscience and psychology double major, with plans to attend medical school and become a psychiatrist when she graduated.
It was an answer that Rowan hadn’t expected when he’d asked what she was studying, but somehow it suited her. The ambition, the focus—it explained in part why she was such an incredible athlete. Rowan knew better than anyone that it took more that height and muscles to be a success in the sport, and even among the juggernauts who’d completed in the tournament, Aelin had been in a class of her own.
She’d grown oddly bashful when he’d pressed her about her volleyball career, at which point she admitted she’d held off med school applications to accept a place on the AVP tour.
“They’ve offered you a spot?” Rowan’d asked.
Aelin’s cheeks had gone slightly pink.
“They called after the tournament,” she’d said. “A scout was there to watch me play.”
“Aelin, that’s incredible.”
At this Aelin’s smile had relaxed into something sensuous that had made Rowan’s stomach tighten.
“Couldn’t have done it without, guapo. ”
Now as Ro sat twirling the tail of Aelin’s braid around a tattooed finger, he tried to remind himself that he needed to shut all these bright and shiny feelings down. Aelin had been a danger to the comfortable numbness Rowan had been living in since the moment she stepped onto the sand of that volleyball court. Now, having heard her laugh and flirt and speak Spanish, she’d become lethal.
He told himself that if he was smart, he’d kiss her cheek right now and tell her goodnight. It would probably take him several days to extract her from pleasant place she’d settled under his skin, but he could stop the bleeding now. If he was smart, he most definitely would not sleep with her.
But apparently he wasn’t smart, because when she’d slyly tugged him to his feet and coaxed him into one of the private closets marked “For Staff Only”, he didn’t stop her.
He also didn’t stop her when she kissed him, tongue sliding effortlessly into his mouth and she hands tracked under his shirt.
It was a bad idea to want Aelin Ashryvver-Galathynius the way Ro did, but he found as her hands continued their exploration that he didn’t care. Even if he could only have her for one night, he would make it enough.
“Your body is insane,” Aelin breathed, tracing the ridges of his abs in a way that made him shudder.
He couldn’t help the self-satisfied smirk which tugged at his mouth as he kissed her again.
“You haven’t seen anything yet.”
At this Aelin paused to laugh, eyes sparkling with wicked delight.
“Was that a big dick comment?” She said. “I knew you had it in you, Whitethorn.”
Rowan debated going for the obvious joke about having ‘it’ in her soon before quickly deciding against it. He was tipsy; it didn’t mean he had to be a jackass, too.
“Let’s go, you little troublemaker,” Ro said, reaching for the door which led from the closet to the secluded hallway.
Aelin’s answering grin was staggering in its seductive force. She casually leaned against the door, blocking his exit as she pulled him towards her by the beltloops.
“Why, are you afraid of getting caught?”
He grabbed the hand that was attempting to slip into his pants, pinning it over her head and bowing into her so she could feel how hard he already was.
“No. But the kind of sex I want, you can’t give me here.”
This seemed to stun her into aroused silence, and he reveled in the victory of rendering Aelin Galathynius speechless. However, she recovered quickly, leaning in to nip his lip.
“Fair warning: I’m not easily impressed.”
Her wrists still caught in his grip, he bent to whisper in her ear, grinding a little against her as he did so.
“So you say, but I’m going to guess you’ve only ever been with boys, Aelin. You may not realize it, but I don’t think you have any idea how good sex can actually be.”
Her legs went slightly weak at that, and he slid his knee between her thighs to keep her upright.
“And you’re going to show me?” She asked.
All the things he wanted to do to her flashed in his mind, and Rowan had to fend off a groan as he hardened further. Much more of this and they would end up doing it in this closet.
“I am,” he replied simply.
Aelin’s answering laugh was husky.
“How are you the same guy who didn’t have the cojones to ask for my number this afternoon?”
He recognized the gesture for what it was: an attempt to gain back the upper hand in their continued tug-of-war for dominance.
Turned on by her bravura, he let her, adding with a shrug, “I guess I’m more of a ‘lady in the streets’ type.”
Still, unwilling to cede to her completely he shifted his thigh where it was still nestled between her legs. She moaned a little, moving against him almost involuntarily to get the friction she needed.
Despite the desire for privacy enough to make Aelin scream herself hoarse, Ro found the idea of her rubbing one out on him too hot to resist. Rotating his knee, he pushed up until she was practically riding his thigh.
Aelin’s nails dug into his forearm as the seam of her shorts hit the exact right spot. He increased the pressure, and she moaned again, the sound growing more fractured as he snapped open one her overall straps and squeezed her firm breast over the lace. God, her tits were perfect.
“Stop or I’m going to come,” she said, teeth gritted.
Rowan didn’t bother to fend off a self-satisfied smile.
“You’re this easy to set off, Galathynius?” He laughed softly. “God, the things I’m gonna fucking to do to you.”
“I thought you said we weren’t going to bang here.”
“We aren’t,” he said. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t have an orgasm.”
“You seriously want my first one with you to be while I’m fully clothed?”
He glanced up to meet her overcome blue eyes.
“I just want to show you how many different ways I have to make you scream, Aelin.”
Taking a fistful of the denim jumper, he tugged up roughly until the fabric was splitting her. Even though all her clothes he could see what a gorgeous little pussy she had. The realization he’d soon be inside of her made Ro’s cock ache.
“Fuck,” Aelin said, hips canting forward as he used the back-and-forth friction to drag her closer to release. “This is not how I imagined things going when I brought you in here.”
Rowan kissed her neck.
“Better or worse?”
“Better,” she said. “So much better. Mierda .”
Her body tightened then relaxed slightly against him, and were he inside of her, he knew she’d be clenching around him right now.
“You have a gorgeous come face,” he told her honestly.
“I bet you do, too.”
He couldn’t fight a grin.
“Would you like to find out?”
“Yes please. ”
He pressed forward to kiss her again, their tongues tangling as he breathed, “let’s get out of here.”
Needing no further prompting, Aelin reached behind her to twist open the door before slipping out, Rowan behind her.
Taking his hand, she tugged him towards the exit, her phone already out with a map pulled up.
“Where are we headed?” He asked. “I might be able to help.”
Aelin’s answering smile was cryptic.
“It’s not far. The app is saying a 17-minute walk. Hang on.”
With this she dialed  a number before bringing the phone to her ear. Whoever she was calling—one of her cousins, Ro suspected—picked up on the second ring, and she began giving orders in rapid Spanish. After a minute she hung up, flashing Ro a simpering smile as she batted her lashes.
“Shall we?”
Rowan couldn’t fight a laugh.
“Did you just kick your cousins out of the room?”
“Suite,” she said with a growing smirk. “But who’s counting?”
“You didn’t have to do that,” he said. “We could have made it work.”
Her gaze heated, burning hot enough that Ro felt his cock stirring again. He watched as her fingers nimbly went to one of the long braids hanging over her shoulder, deftly undoing the plait.
“We don’t need an audience for all the filthy things I want you to do to me.”
He groaned.
“You’re killing me.”
She smiled, working the other braid free and giving her curtain of blonde hair a shake. Christ, he wanted to run his hands though it, then bunch in it his hands while he fucked that pretty little mouth.
She smirked as if she knew what he was thinking, even biting her lip a little in suggestion.
“Something wrong?” She said.
He only laughed.
“Completely the opposite.”
She smiled, tugging him down the street for ten blocks or so before making a left and heading towards a glittering glass building.
The Ritz Carlton.
Rowan let out a low whistle as they entered the marble lobby.
“You keeping secrets, Galathynius?”
She bit her lip.
“My dad is...not poor.”
“Define ‘not poor’.”
“He owns twenty-three luxury hotels in Miami?”
Rowan’s throat felt a bit scratchy.
“You’re a millionaire.”
Her grin was sheepish and slightly guilty.
“Kinda?”
He must have looked confused.
“I mean, yeah, with a b.”
Holy shit, her family were billionaires.
She studied him for a moment when he stopped walking, trying to take it all in. He wasn’t usually one to be embarrassed about money or his upbringing, but she was stupid rich. He suddenly felt out of his depth.
“This is why I didn’t tell you,” she said quietly. “It makes people see me differently.”
At this he glanced up, reading the sadness and loneliness in her eyes.
“It doesn’t change anything,” he found himself saying.
Dating a girl that rich, especially as a cop in Vice Squad—that could be complicated. But that’s not what this was; after tonight, Ro would likely never see her again. Besides, she’d made an effort not to make it a big deal, and hadn’t thrown money around to impress him even when she easily could have. If she could set it aside for the evening, so could he.
Also, he really wanted to fuck her. She was a girl begging for pleasure, and he wanted to be able to show her things she hadn’t experienced even in her wildest fantasies.
Aelin seemed to read the acceptance in his eyes because she tugged him towards the elevator, punching 36 before pushing him against the wall to kiss him.  Sliding his hands down her thighs, he hoisted her easily into his arm, crushing her against him.
When the door opened he didn’t bother putting her down, simply breathed against her mouth, “where?”
She gestured to the left and he headed towards the single door at the end of the hall. Producing a key from her back pocket, she slid to her feet before unlocking the door and ushering him inside.
Ro told himself not to gawk as they stepped farther into the palatial space, but it was impossible.
The lavishly-appointed suite was furnished with a living room, full kitchen, bedroom, and formal dining area, floor-to-ceiling window along the far wall looking out onto the Pacific Ocean.
There was a bottle of expensive Cuban rum and several glasses sitting on the marble island, half-smoked Monte Cristo cigars resting in a nearby tray. The Ashryvvers, it seemed, were no strangers to the finer things in life.
“Do you want a drink?” Aelin asked, trailing a hand down his back and observing him as he took in their surroundings.
He turned to her to say yes, but when he caught sight of the heat in her gaze he changed him mind.
“Later,” he said, walking her backwards into the wall closest to the bedroom.
“Thank god,” she said as he threaded a hand through hers to pull her arm above her head. “I don’t think I could bear to wait.”
Rowan chuckled, teeth grazing her ear as he said, “Does that mean you’re going to be a good girl and do as I say?”
Her blue eyes snapped to him, blazing with defiance.
“What makes you think I’m that type of girl?”
“In your everyday life, you like to be in control?”
“Yes.”
Rowan nodded.
“That’s why.”
“I don’t follow.”
“You’re used to responsibility and keeping all the plates spinning, but I bet deep down, you fantasize about being able to let go; you just don’t know how.”
She scoffed, through the sound turned to a breathy exhale as he kissed her neck.
“And what makes you think that I’ll be able to let go with you, a total stranger?”
He pulled back, kissing her softly on the lips.
“Because I am going to make you feel so good and so safe, you won’t have a choice. Do you trust me, Aelin?”
“I have no real reason to,” she hedged. “We just met.”
“But...” he said onto the sensitive skin of her throat.
She paused, muscles in her neck gorgeously taut as he tugged her earlobe with his teeth.
“DĂ­os ayĂșdame,” she choked out. “Yes, I do.”
“Good girl,” he praised. “Let’s get you naked.”
Throwing the overall strap he’d previously unbuckled over her shoulder, he unsnapped the other. He knelt as he coaxed the whole garment down her hips, pausing to lave her tattoo.  He resisted the urge to venture between her legs, enjoying the way she bucked her hips towards the heat of his mouth as it pressed against her low belly.
“Patience,” he said, nipping the sensitive skin.
She settled slightly at that, and Ro ran his hands up her torso with with deliberate slowness, palms skating effortlessly under her lacy bralette and tugging it off in a single, fluid gesture.
He glanced down at her and groaned.
“Fucking Christ.”
Her breasts were flawlessly round and dark enough to suggest she spend a decent amount of time tanning topless, her tight nipples framed by matching diamond studs. He ran a finger over the jewelry, laughing at her shudder of pleasure.
“Are you crazy, Galathynius? You’re a D1 athlete!”
She chuckled.
“I tape them up to play. Why, you don’t like?”
He glanced up to meet her gaze.
“I didn’t say that.”
The truth was they suited her: elegant femininity edged in wildness.
“You approve then.”
He reached down to tease her, brushing a knuckle against her left nipple until it pebbled.
“They’re gorgeous.”
Aelin preened a bit at that.
“Tits this nice deserved a little something extra,” she said with a smirk.
Rowan was inclined to agree.
“These real diamonds, princess?”
“They were a gift from Aedion.”
At this Rowan stiffened, unable to smother the discomfort the idea inspired. Aelin only laughed, catching his face in her hands and kissing him lightly on the lips.
“I’m playing with you, tonto. Obviously he and Galen don’t know about these or they’d hit the roof. Besides,” she said, pert nose wrinkling slightly. “We don’t share things like that with each other. We’re close but...not that close.”
Rowan couldn’t hold back a relieved laugh, which only made Aelin’s grin widen.
“You should have seen the look on your face, though.”
“You’re trouble,” he told her.
“You love it,” she shot back, leaning in so her breasts brushed his chest.
Yeah he fucking did.
Crushing her into another kiss, her massaged her breasts, palms scraping her nipples. When they’d grown hard from his machinations he bent to taste them, loving the feel of her fingers as they wound into his hair and tugged.
“Take off your clothes already,” she said, breathless. “I want to know if your dick is as big as it feels.”
He grabbed her wrist and guided it between his legs.
“See for yourself.”
Deft as a snake, she had a hand down the front of boxer briefs, stroking him twice with a firm grip.
He planted a hand on the wall beside her head, breathing through his nose as he bowed into her wicked touch.
“What are you thinking about?” She asked as she unbuckled his belt and pushed his chinos off his carved waist until they hung low on his hips.
“You.”
“What about me?”
He bent to kiss her deeply again. God, he wasn’t sure he’d ever been this turned on.
“About what you’d look like on your knees with my cock in your mouth.”
She gave a sensuous chuckle.
“Dream on, querido. ”
He only grinned in response.
“No one likes a liar, Galathynius.”
“What reason would I have to ever suck you off?”
“The same reason you’d let me tie you up: you want to know what it’s like to let someone else be in control.”
“I never said I wanted to be tied up,” she said, voice turning to a groan as he pushed her underwear aside to dip two fingers inside of her.
“You didn’t have to,” he said, holding up his fingers so they glistened in the moonlight pouring in from the open balcony doors. “You’re soaked.”
She didn’t respond, merely leaned forward to licked the offending digits clean in a way that told him that not only did she want to suck his dick, she was going to be excellent at it.
He hardened at the thought, even as he forced a calming breath. If this was his only chance with her, he intended to savor every second.
He wanted tears— actual tears—of pleasure from her. He wanted to hear her beg. And not just some breathy “ please, more ” bullshit, either. He wanted to her to plead—for him, for release, for anything and everything he was willing to give her.
He wanted all of it and more, but to have it, he needed to be patient with her. It meant going slow, and sending her off the edge several times before he ever slipped inside of her.
Gently collaring her throat, he pressed a soft kiss to her lips before easing her off the wall and into the waiting bedroom.
“You are so beautiful,” he told her.
She smirked, eyes flashing.
“Bet you say that to all the girls you fuck.”
“I’ve never fucked a woman as beautiful as you.”
It was out before he could stop it, and he had to fend off the the twinge of guilt it produced. Still, he couldn’t regret saying it, because it was true; Aelin was the most beautiful woman he’d ever met.
Aelin, seeming abashed by this declaration, responding by coaxing Rowan’s buttoned shirt open and over his shoulders. Chest to bare chest, her next kiss was soft and drugging.
“You’re...not ugly, either,” she said at last.
“Not ugly?” He repeated with a laugh.
“You’re...” she trailed off as he kissed her neck.
“I’m...?”
“Gorgeous,” she said finally. “But I think you already knew that.”
“Maybe, but it hits different from you.”
Aelin seemed pleased by that, and she rewarded him by dipping her hand into his unbuckled pants again and fisting him.
“I was also right; you’re enormous.”
Grabbing her wrist, he pinned it to the wall and put his hand between her legs instead.
“And I bet you’re tight,” he said, drawing lazy circles with his thumb that had her back arching.
“Are we going to fit?” She teased, but he could hear the concern underneath that she couldn’t quite hide.
The idea that some douchebag had pushed into her before she was totally ready—it made Rowan’s skin prickle in irritation.
He caught her jaw.
“After I’m done playing with you, Aelin, you’re going to be so wet that you’ll feel like my cock was made to fit inside you.”
She moaned.
“If you’re half as good as sex as you are dirty talk, I think this might be the best night of my life.”
Rowan was counting on it. What he hadn’t counted on was the fact it was shaping up to be one of the best nights of his as well. And not just because of the sex, though Rowan couldn’t deal with that right now.
“I bet you taste good too,” he said, grinding against her and living for her answering moan. “Don’t you?”
“I’ve never had any complaints,” she said, and he tried to ignore the twinge of jealousy at the thought of another guy’s mouth on her.
Her pussy was his, at least for tonight. He intended to make sure she never forgot how it felt to have him between her thighs.
Kneeling at her feet, he peeled her thong down her lean legs. He let his eyes drag up slowly, taking his time admiring the muscles in her quads before his gaze settled between her legs.
She was already wet, her thighs glistening with arousal. He imagined what they would look like dripping with his come instead. The idea had masculine satisfaction thrumming through him, even knowing it was a fantasy he couldn’t indulge. He wouldn’t put her in a vulnerable position by not wearing a condom.  Pressing a mockingly chaste kiss on her low belly, he rose to his feet.
“Get on the bed,” he said, guiding her hips towards the waiting mattress.
“Get naked first,” she countered, tracing the band of his Adonis belt before tugging him towards her by the waistband of his Calvin Klein boxer briefs.
He didn’t stop her as she skated her hands down the back to squeeze his ass before pushing them off his hips.
His dick was already rock hard, and it pressed between them. She leaned up to kiss him again before sinking down to sit on the bed. The movement bought her eye-level with his erection, and gripping him in a fist, she put her mouth on him.
He swore as she laved his length, cock twitching as she traced a ridge of vein with her  tongue. Threading a gentle hand into her hair, he took a step back, coaxing her off the bed and onto her knees. When she looked up at him, blue eyes overcome with want, he had to fight the urge to come right then.
Despite her earlier declarations, Aelin sucked him off like both of their lives depended on it, and Rowan could only hang on and enjoy the ride as her tongue worked miracles on his shaft and her hands found every pleasure point he craved.
He swore again as she massaged his stones before kneading the sensitive swath of skin behind them. As her touch grew more deliberate, he debated telling her she could push inside him before deciding it wasn’t exactly fodder for a one-night stand.
However, when her fingers trailed back to brush the tight ring of muscle, he couldn’t fight a groan.
“Yes?” She asked, keeping her touch light.
“Go ahead,” he said, breathless.
He didn’t think he’d never been so close to losing it as he was the moment she used her own wetness to coat her fingers before carefully teasing two inside of him.
His tattooed hand tightened in her hair, but he forced himself to otherwise remain still, to let her set the pace.
“Fuck, Aelin.”
Crooking her fingers to hit that perfect internal spot, she put her mouth on him again. Between her fingers and her tongue, he only lasted ten more strokes before he came hard .
Holy shit.
Rowan was no stranger to anything they’d just done, but he was fairly sure that was the best blowjob he’d ever had.
“As good as your imagined?” Aelin said with a smirk.
“Better,” Rowan said. “Way better. My turn.”
Picking her up, he tossed her on the bed before grabbing her ankle and dragging her towards him so her legs hung off the edge.
Wasting no time, he broke her legs apart and put his mouth right where he knew she needed him, sucking hard. However, he didn’t stay there for long, ignoring her attempts to manuever his mouth into position as he teased her.
“Rowan,” she choked. “You’re killing me.”
In answer he swirled his tongue around her bundle of nerves before alighting elsewhere.
“Rowan,” Aelin said.
He sucked on her this time, loving how she rocked her hips up to fuck his face. Still, he didn’t linger long enough for her release to find her.
“I’m going to kill—“
He glanced up at her, pressing a hot, open-mouthed kiss to the crease of her hip as she watched him.
“Beg me, Aelin,” he told her. “Beg me and I’ll give you an orgasm to make you cry.”
He laced her once, and she bucked.
“I don’t beg,” she said, even as he felt her contract once against his tongue.
The idea was turning her on.
“You haven’t begged before,” he corrected. “It doesn’t mean you won’t for me.”
At this he slid a finger inside of her, finding the right spot and applying pressure.
“Oh god,” she breathed. “More.”
Rowan pulled the finger out in response.
Aelin paused, heaving slightly as she considered before breathing, “Please, Ro.”
“Please what?”
“Please, give me what I want. I’m...begging you.”
Rowan slid two fingers inside of her, grinning.
“Really, this is your begging? Pathetic.”
“Harder.”
“Harder?”
He increased his speed, knowing she was right on the edge of where she needed to be. Still, he didn’t cross that line.
“Fuck,” Aelin said, voice almost a whine. “Rowan, I’m right there—just make me come.”
“If I do, will you beg me for my cock next?”
“I will give you anything you want,” she said. “Just...” she exhaled again. “Please.”
He bowed his head between her legs again, pumping his fingers as he tongued the spot he knew would set her off.
Driven the brink by all his edging, her climax seemed to shudder through her, muscles in her stomach flexing as she contracted against his mouth. He was careful to keep his touch feather-light as the orgasm crested and ebbed, knowing her body was too sensitive to be properly played with yet.
“Oh god,” she breathed, body still trembling slightly. “I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm that strong before. What did you do to me, Whitethorn?”
He crawled up to meet her, hands sinking into the mattress on either side of her head before he kissed her.
“Showed you what you’ve been missing, apparently.”
She arched her hips up to meet his, the contact making him harden again.
“Aelin,” he breathed, using both palms to scrape her sweaty hair from her face.
“Kiss me,” she said softly, gaze so sincere he had to close his eyes to avoid being overcome.
He did as she asked, keeping his touch gentle in an effort to to convey what he couldn’t bear to voice out loud: that this was more than just meaningless sex.
“I want you inside of me,” she said.
He rotated his hips against hers, cock brushing against her in a way that made her cry out softly.
“I need to grab a condom,” he said into her ear. “Don’t move.”
“And what if I do?”
He bent to kiss her deeply.
“Do you trust me?”
“Yes,” she breathed.
Rowan smiled, rising from the bed to grab a condom from his wallet before crossing to the window. He deftly unknotted the silk tie which had been used to hold back the curtains and holding it up for her to see.
Aelin expelled a noise of pleasure so finely edged it was almost a whine. Slowly, deliberately, she raised her arms above her head in invitation, eyes hooded as she watched him approach.
Sliding over her, he slipped the length of silk around her wrists before synching it to the  headboard.
Aelin tugged I’m experimentation.
“Too tight?”
“No,” she said.
Rowan gently collared her throat as he bent to kiss her.
“Good girl.”
Rowan drew a finger down Aelin’s torso, circling her tight nipples before tracing her navel and venturing between her legs.
“I’m going to have to make this count,” he said, sliding two fingers into her again even as he held up the condom. “I only have one of these.”
“I have some in my suitcase,” she said. “Lucky for you, I think they’re magnums. Dream big, and all that.”
He grinned, making her laugh.
“Never hurts to be prepared,” she said.
“No it most certainly doesn’t,” he agreed, putting his mouth on her again.
She bucked off the bed and he used his hands to keep her hips pinned as she twisted against her restraints.
“If only I had a spreader bar,” he told her. “I would really have you at my mercy.”
“I’m at your mercy now,” she said. “Take me.”
That, Rowan could not resist.
Quickening the pace of his fingers, he concentrated on her clit until she shattered again. Only when she’d settled back on to the bed, legs quaking slightly, did he tear open the wrapper of the condom, sheathing himself with a practiced hand.
“You’re probably going to be extra tight from the orgasms,” he told her. “So I’m going to go slow at first.”
She nodded, and he kissed her again before grabbing his shaft and sliding a few inches into her.
“Tight” had perhaps been an understatement. The pressure of her was mind-numbing, spine-tingling bliss. Still, he forced himself to pause and take in her expression.
Her brows were synched, breath ragged. He bent to kiss the tightened corners of her eyes before brushing his lips to hers.
“Talk to me, gorgeous,” he breathed. “How are you doing?”
“You’re—big,” she said, voice still tense. “I’m just trying to adjust.”
“Relax,” he coached, petting a hand down the tense muscles in her stomach. “Breathe, Aelin.”
At this she let out a shuddering exhale, even mewing a little as he reached down to play with her.
“That’s it, sweetheart,” he said, working her with the pad of his thumb. “Let me in.”
With that the some of the tenseness in her body loosened, and she moaned. He pushed in farther, kissing her deeply until she was forced to take another calming exhale.
When he shifted her hips and pulled her the rest of the way onto his shaft, she melted. He couldn’t hold back his groan of pleasure as he sank in effortlessly to the hilt, his stones brushing her soft ass.
“Fuck,” she said. “Why does that feel so good?”
He rose onto his knees, tilting her hips up on the process. She groaned.
“Because I bet no one’s hit this spot with you before,” he said.
Rearing back slightly, he thrust into her with delicious intent.
She bit her lip.
“Yours is deep,” he said.
Her answering laugh was husky.
“Are you trying to suggest you’re the biggest dick I’ve ever had?”
He smirked, unable to deny the smug masculine satisfaction that slithered through him at the thought.
“You said it, not me.”
He pulled back and thrust into her a second time. At this she squirmed a little, eyes firmly shut again.
“Yes, Aelin?” He said, repeating the gesture a third time.
She wiggled, trying to get more friction.
“Yes,” she said. “Oh god, yes.”
With that he increased his pace, loving the obscene sound their bodies made as they came together. Christ, had it ever felt this good?
He rode her hard but tried to maintain a pace that wouldn’t cause her an unpleasant amount of friction. From her moans, he was doing a better than alright job.
Rowan drank her in as she writhed beneath him, her body covered in a glistening sheen of sweat, her small breasts bouncing with the force of his thrusts.
When he reached a hand between her legs to play with her again, she swore, tightening around him.
“I’m so close.”
“Say my name," he said, left hand wrapping around the headboard for better leverage as he drove into her with increased force. “I want to hear you say my name when you come, Aelin.”
She surged forward, tongue tangled with his in a desperate kiss.
"Ro," she breathed. “Rowan.”
Rowan had to fend off a strangled moan at the reverence in her voice.
When he'd made the demand, he'd imagined her screaming it the way other women had, like it was a triumph that needed to be heralded. But hearing it whispered, as if it were a secret meant only for him, had been so much more powerful.
He instantly knew why: because this was so much more than mindless sex.
He felt the exact moment she came apart around him, loving the pressure as she squeezed him in a vice. Deftly he untied her bound hands, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck as he kissed her.
He couldn’t hold back the pleasured groan which escaped as he found his own climax, hips nestled to hers as he drove in deep a final time.
God, what he wouldn’t give to come inside this girl for real. It was a selfish thought, but one Ro couldn’t immediately shake. He didn’t often think about babies of his own, but something about Aelin Galathynius made him want to have a million.
He shook his head slightly, desperate to rid himself of the notion of having children with a woman he’d just met. He kissed her instead, using the feeling of her lips against him to ground him more fully into reality.
When he felt he’d mastered himself, he pulled back to meet Aelin’s eye, mildly horrified to find that hers were glassy. Despite his earlier declaration about wanting to have her in tears, actually seeing them in her eyes had his heart dropping out of his chest.
“Oh god, you’re crying,” he blurted, quickly pulling out of her and touching her cheek. “Aelin, why are you crying?”
At this she snorted, the sound halfway between a laugh and a sob.
“Because that so intense I almost don’t know what to do with myself,” she admitted. “And when I get overwhelmed I always end up crying.”
He frowned, brushing her petal-soft cheek again.
“Good overwhelmed or bad?”
“Good,” she said. “Definitely good. That was just so—“ she blew out a shaky inhale, another tear slipping from the corner of her eye. “I came so hard I think my brain just stalled for a second.”
He couldn’t help but grin, even as he gently brushed the moisture from her cheek.
“I don’t think I’ve ever broken someone’s brain before,” he said. “Should I take that as a compliment?”
She laughed, the sound easier this time.
“Don’t be annoying,” she said. “You know how good you are.”
“What can I say? You inspire greatness in me, Galathynius.”
He bent to gently kiss her, his finger drawing a an ever-tightening circle around one erect nipple. Her back arched slightly at his featherlight touch, goosebumps breaking out across her small breasts.
“You are so gorgeously responsive,” he told her, bending to tug the opposite nipple with his teeth. “It’s like your whole body is a hot spot. It makes it impossible to stop touching you. I could seriously play with you all night.”
“It’s not usually like this,” Aelin admitted after a beat, threading her hand into his hair. When she spoke again, her tone was softer, more candid. “Most the time I’m too in my head, and it makes it hard to get turned on enough to let go.”
“What made tonight different?” Rowan asked, brushing the hair out her face.
He was fairly sure he already knew, but he needed to hear her say it, to take ownership of the feeling.
“I feel safe with you,” she said. “I don’t know why—you’re basically still a stranger—but I do.”
Rowan smiled, kissing her more deeply this time.
“I told you that you’d let go for me,” he breathed against her lips. “How did it feel, gorgeous?”
“Incredible,” she said, shifting her hips in search of friction as he settled more fully on top of her again. “I didn’t want it to end.”
Deftly, Rowan peeled off the condom and threw it into the trash.
“Who said it had to?” He asked grabbing her hips and rotating so he was on his back, Aelin nestled in his lap. “That was just round one.”
In response, She reached for his shaft to begin getting him hard, but he caught her wrist instead.
“It’s a marathon, Galathynius, not sprint,” he said, flipping her hand in his so he could kiss her palm. “And your body’s not ready for me to be inside you again yet.”
Aelin seemed a bit flustered at that, which left Rowan feeling torn. On the one hand, he hating thinking he’d embarrassed her or made her uncomfortable. On the other, the idea that he has the ability to make swaggering, sensuous Aelin Ashryvver-Galathynius bashful filled him with deep-seated satisfaction.
Seeming to read the intention in his gaze, she bent to kiss him, whispering, “you don’t have to.”
He pushed her back gently so he could look into her face.
“Don’t have to what?”
“Go down on me again. I know most guys don’t like to do it again once they’ve—“
“That’s amateur hour,” Rowan said, tone sharper than he’d meant it to be. “Whichever pin-headed prick told you that is a loser.”
She laughed, relaxing a little. At seeing this, Rowan settled more fully on his back, hands braced on her hips.
“Come here,” he said, voice rough with desire.
He was rewarded with a pretty blush.
“I’ve never...done it like that,” she admitted.
He smirked.
“Then I’m about to give you an important lesson in pleasure. Come here.”
Rising onto her knees, Aelin rose over Rowan until she was mere inches from his face.
“I feel like I’m going to suffocate you!” She said with a sheepish laugh.
“Then I’ll die the luckiest man on earth,” he said, gripping her ass. “Hold onto the headboard.”
She did, and he lifted his head just enough that the tip of his tongue brushed the most sensitive part of her.
Her whole body tightened in pleasure.
“Do that again,” she said, sounding more her confident self now.
“No,” he told her. “This position is about you being in control.  I don’t give you pleasure; you take it.”
When she still didn’t move, he added, “this should be no problem for an imperious little thing like you.”
He knew goading her would do the trick, and after a moment she relaxed her hips, body sinking down to meet his waiting mouth. He couldn’t stifle a groan as she rocked her hips against him in experimentation. Seeing Aelin in is position, vulnerable but in control, was hotter than her could have possibly imagined.
Rowan flicked his tongue against her and she swore.
“That feels good,” she breathed, rocking forward against his mouth again. “Really good.”
His hands on the back of her thighs, he urged her hips forward, grazing her with his teeth before sucking hard.
This proved to be her unleashing.
Using the headboard for leverage, she began swishing her lips in a rhythmic motion, panting softly through her teeth as she worked herself up to climax.
He kneaded the soft flesh of her backside while she rocked against him, trying not to imagine what it would be like to slide his cock into her tight little ass. He had no idea if she was into that sort of thing nor any desire to pressure her into finding out, but the way she rocked back into his hands—as if urging them to explore—was enough to make him curious.
Hands on her waist, he tilted her pelvis towards him slightly, waiting to see how she’d react. In response she scooted higher on his body, her knees practically touching to the headboard. In this new position, there was no part of her he couldn’t access, and when she leaned forward, the invitation was clear.
Using his hands to open her legs more fully for him, he brushed his mouth against an intimate spot that—judging by her deep moan—no one had even touched before. When he repeated the gesture and she didn’t tense or pull away, he split legs even wider and circled the tight ring of muscle at the back with his tongue.
“Fuck,” she said, voice devolving into a string of slurred Spanish. “Rowan.”
Rowan worked her in broader strokes, his free hand coming up to play with her clit. When he slipped a finger inside of her he could tell she was getting close. Not wanting to claim the victory of her orgasm with only his fingers, he pulled her hips down so his tongue could replace his hand.
Far bolder now that she’d been when they’d started, Aelin followed his lead. Her fingers twined in his hair as she rocked against him hard, and Rowan was happy enough to sit back and watch as she took her pleasure like he’d instructed.
Between the rimjob and the edging, Aelin’s orgasm—when it hit—seemed to last a blissful eternity. She was trembling slightly as she collapsed beside him, eyes still closed.
“That was the hottest thing I think I’ve ever seen,” he said.
He gently cupped between her legs, careful not to apply too much pressure when she was still so sensitive.
“You’re telling me that?” she said with a laugh. “I’ve done it that to other people, obviously, but I’ve never let anyone—“ she broke off with another laugh. “Apparently I’ve been missing out.”
Rowan smirked, if only to hide the twinging realization that after tonight, it would someone else making her feel good, not him.
“I hope I didn’t set an impossible standard,” he said dryly.
“Maybe not yet,” she said, eyes blazing with want. “But you’re well in your way, and the night is still young.”
She let her azure gaze snake down his body with exaggerated slowness. By the time it reached his cock, he was granite-hard.
“Where are the rest of the condoms?” he asked.
If he wasn’t inside of her in the next minute, he might actually lose his mind.
“Bathroom,” she said, rising to her feet. “I’ll be right back.”
Rowan didn’t have time for that. He rose from the bed to follow her into the lavish en-suite. Normally he might of gawked a little at the opulence—the marble countertops, the sunken tub—but his entire focus was on Aelin. The best he could do was shift the lens to the things in her periphery. Everything else was a blur.
She was just straightening—foil packet in hand—as he entered, and he didn’t even give her a chance speak before her grabbed her around the waist, spinning her so his chest was pressed into her back.
Taking the condom, he ripped open the package and slid it on with one hand while his other moved between her legs to ensure she was ready for him.
“How do you feel?” He asked. “Do you need me to—“
“Whitethorn, if I was any wetter I’d be Nile. Get inside me already.”
It was all the permission Rowan needed. Hand on her back, he coaxed her to bend, using his legs to push hers wider as he did. She yelped softly as her bare breasts made contact with the cold marble, and he ran a hand over the curve of her hip to settle her before sliding to the hilt in single stroke.
It felt better, even, than it had the first time. She clenched around the intrusion of him even as she moaned, and he only managed to wait a beat before grabbing her hips and setting a blistering pace.
He glanced in the mirror and their gazes caught in the reflection, her desire molten.
Wanting more, he coaxed her up until her torso lifted from the counter.
Yes, he thought with greedy satisfaction. This.
This was what he wanted. Her firm tits bouncing with each hard thrust, her hips rocking back and forth, and her eyes squeezed shut in pleasure.
Gently collaring her throat with his hand, he whispered in her ear.
“Touch yourself for me.”
She did, canting her hips forward for increased friction as she moaned.
As she increased the speed with her hand, Rowan increased his, fucking her hard through her orgasm as she tightened around him.
She collapsed against the counter as he pulled her hips flush to his for one final thrust before coming undone.
She wobbled when he stepped back to pull off the condom, and he deftly caught her around the waist before she melted to the floor like a newborn fawn.
“Easy,” he said, coaxing her into his arms.
She laid her head on his shoulder.
“I think your dick has mystical powers,” she said. “Because that was insane.”
Rowan chuckled, carrying her to the bed and laying her down.
“There’s a Harry Potter joke in there somewhere,” he said, brushing some hair off her sweaty cheek as her eyelids drooped. “I’m just too lazy to find it.”
“Harry Potter references,” she said, already half-asleep. “Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?”
She was out before he could even respond, but he did anyway, lips to her temple as he whispered, “I wish I could.”
XX
Ro woke up at sunrise the next morning, Aelin still fast asleep beside him. Not quite in his arms, but still close enough that he could feel her warmth. Christ, she smelled incredible. Like lemon and coconut.
He propped his head on a chin, admiring the way the dawn light set her skin and hair to glowing. She looked like a fallen star.
Rowan’s heart ached a bit as he studied her, trying to memorize every detail, knowing that their time together was quickly running out. Originally, he’d only planned to stay the night, promising himself that as soon as the dark was gone, he would be, too.
In the light of day, he knew it wasn’t going to be that easy. Perhaps it was only asking for more trouble, but Rowan wanted to stay at least for the morning.
He could bring her coffee from that shop Cash loved; if Ro remembered correctly, it wasn’t far from here. He could go get it while she was still sleeping, and make her breakfast when she woke up.
He wouldn’t stay all day, he promised himself, just long enough that she knew she wasn’t some meaningless screw he’d fucked and then chucked. Surely she deserved that much, at least.
Unable to resist, he ran a hand down the silky mane of her hair, slightly tangled from their numerous romps the night before, before rising from the bed as quietly and creeping towards the bedroom door. He found his boxers briefs and shorts easily enough. He just needed to find his—
“Leaving so soon?”
He turned to find Aelin sitting up in the bed, that signature smirk painted on her pouty mouth. She hadn’t bothered to pull up the sheet to cover herself, and her breasts were fully visible, the studs in them winking in the crepuscular light pouring in from the window.
“Only to get some coffee,” he said, loving the way the tension which had limned her muscles disappeared. She’d been displeased with the idea of him leaving, even if she hadn’t wanted to show it.
Her next smile was far easier.
“I have coffee here,” she said.
“Not like this you don’t,” he said with a grin. “There is no coffee on earth better than the beans for the Kona Mountains.”
Her expression grew feline.
“You dare say such things to a Cuban?” She said. “If Galen were here, he’d have you tarred and feathered.”
Rowan recalled the coffee he’d had on a trip to Havana during the short period travel when from the US to Cuba had been permitted. She wasn’t wrong; it had been fucking delicious. Still, he wasn’t going to give up that easy.
“That’s more like espresso; not the same as having a full mug with you while you watch the sun rise.”
“The sun’s already risen,” Aelin said with a smile. “And coffee should be strong and decadent, and that’s what a cortadito is. You can keep your vat of hot bean water; a little is all you need. Just enough to whet the appetite.”
Rowan couldn’t help but grin.
“Awfully set in your ways for a person who’s so young.”
“I’m only five years younger than you,” Aelin pointed out. “And I didn’t hear any complaints from you last night.”
“That’s because I have none,” Rowan admitted. “You’re—“
He broke off, not wanting to embarass himself with verbose declarations now that they were both stone sober.
“I’m—“ Aelin prompted, standing from the bed. She was still naked as they day she was born, and it was an effort not to admire her.
“You know what you are,” Rowan said.
“I do,” Aelin agreed, slinking forward and draping her arms over Rowan’s shoulders. “But it hits different coming from you.”
It was the same thing he’d told her the night before, and he decided to indulge her the way she had him.
“You’re perfect,” he said, his hand slipping around her bare waist to tug her into him.
He kissed her softly, and he could feel her answering smile against his lips.
“Yes, I am,” she said, and he couldn’t help it.
He laughed, lifting her off her feet and heading towards the bed with her still in his arms. When he was close enough he tossed her onto the wrinkled nest of sheets and pillows before crawling over her.
“What am I going to do with you, Galathynius?”
She laughed as he playfully nuzzled her neck.
“Feed me? I’m starving after your thorough ravishing last night.”
“I think I can do that,” he said, bending to kiss her.
Still, he couldn’t bring himself to get up right away. Instead he rolled onto his side so he was facing her, trying not to preen as she traced a whorl of his tattoo.
“We never talked about these last night,” she said, her featherlight touch making goosebumps appear on his skin.   “They’re...Hawaiian?”
“Māori,” Rowan said. “I grew up on Maui, but my family is originally from farming town near Auckland.”
Aelin’s eyes glittered with interest.
“Have you even been there?”
“To New Zealand?” Rowan shrugged. “We used to go every few years while my grandparents were still alive. At the time it seemed boring. Now I’m glad we got the opportunity.”
Aelin nodded, still tracing his tattoos. She’d moved from his shoulder to his chest, fingers trailing closer and closer to his heart. To—
“And this one?” Aelin said. “It doesn’t look Māori.”
Rowan’s throat ached a bit as she ran the tips of her fingers over the letters at the very center of the massive design, directly above his heart.
Î›Ï…ÏÎŻÎ±
“It’s Greek,” he explained.
She glanced up at him, gaze full of emotion as she said quietly, “It looks like a name.”
He nodded, throat growing tight.
“Lyria.”
Aelin didn’t push for clarification, but after a beat Rowan found himself speaking anyway.
“She’s my—she was my—“
When he broke off, Aelin only nodded.
“What happened?”
“Non-Hodgkins lymphoma. It was stage four by the time they caught it. She was gone within six months of her diagnosis.”
Aelin reached up to gently cup Rowan’s cheek.
“I’m so sorry, Rowan.”
He’d had people apologize to him a thousand times for Lyria’s untimely death, but something in Aelin’s tone was different. It was sympathetic but also...understanding, somehow.
“Have you ever lost someone you thought would be in your life forever?”
Aelin considered this before flipping her wrist and extending  it. There, inked in neat script, were three small letters Rowan hadn’t noticed before.
S-a-m
“We were high school sweethearts and went to UT together,” she explained. “My sophomore year we lived in an apartment together in West Campus, but we’d started to talk about moving after there had been a series of unsolved rapes in the neighborhood. We were on the first floor and Sam was worried about me being there when he was on the road for baseball season. The night I finally agreed we could start looking for another place, there was a break-in.”
She paused, brows furrowed as she continued to study the tattoo.
“The guy had a gun, and told Sam that if he cooperated it would be over quickly and neither of us would get hurt. But Sam refused, and he fought the guy off while I called the cops. He got shot while they were struggling with the gun, and by the time the paramedics got there it was too late.”
“Aelin, I...” Rowan paused, not wanting to saying the wrong thing. “That must have been awful. I’m so sorry.”
Aelin nodded, rubbing the tattoo with her thumb.
“Me too,” she said. “I miss him a lot.”
That, Rowan certainly understood. There wasn’t a day that went by that Rowan didn’t miss Lyria.
“Did they ever catch the perp?”
“Yeah, the guy’s gloves came off in the struggle and he ended up leaving prints. Cairn Macgory. Turned out he was a law student, top honors, no criminal record. The only reason they had his fingerprints was because of his application to take the bar. He was going to be a family law attorney. He already had a job lined up after school.”
“I hope he rots in hell,” Rowan said honestly, hating the haunted look that had crept into Aelin’s eyes.
“He’s honestly just lucky the cops got to him first,” she said. “My dad was ready to have him black-bagged back to Cuba and cut into little pieces.”
“I’m sort of sorry he didn’t,” Rowan admitted, and this—unexpectedly—made Aelin laugh.
“Aren’t you a cop? I thought you’d be all gung-ho for law and order.”
“Even cops can want revenge.”
Some of Aelin’s mirth faded at this, and she looked up to study him. It was an odd feeling to be so exposed, but Rowan found he didn’t mind it coming from Aelin. After a moment she relented, leaning over to rest her head on his shoulder.
“Sorry, that was sort of heavy for a one-night stand.”
Rowan strung an arm around her sturdy shoulders as he ignored the twinge in his gut.
A one-night stand.
He’d never stayed the morning with his previous one-night stands, and he’d certainly never told any of them about Lyria, so how could that be what this was?
Before he could damn the consequences and ask Aelin about it, she slipped from his embrace, grinning at him over a shoulder.
“Can I make you a cortadito, or have I scared you off?”
He grabbed her hand to pull her back.
“I’ll have coffee,” he told her rising onto his knees and she sank back onto the bed half-way. “And after that I’ll take you to breakfast.”
“You’re friends won’t be missing you?
Rowan traced her hipbones with this thumbs, everything he’d done to her the previous evening flooding back.
“They’re adults,” he said breezily, leaning forward to kiss the soft skin between her breasts. “They’ll be fine.”
Aelin drove a hand into his hair, her grip light and playful.
“You phones been blowing up for 20 minutes,” she pointed out.
“That’s just Cash being nosy.”
“He’s not dating anyone?”
“Not that I know of,” Rowan admitted setting back onto the bed and tugging her casually into his lap. “But Cash has always been full of secrets; it’s part of his charm.”
“What about the other two?” She asked. “The gorgeous one and the grouch.”
“Fenrys is more a serial dater,” Rowan said. “Mostly because his taste in men is garbage. He always falls for the haole fuckboys  then cries when they turn out to be assholes.”
“Haole?” Aelin said.
“Non-Polynesians, technically,” Rowan explained. “But most of the time Hawaiians just use it to mean—“
“Gringos,” Aelin said, grinning. “They do love to make trouble, don’t they?”
Rowan had to laugh at this.
“Fen would certainly say so.”
Aelin nodded, laughing as well.
“So that just leaves—”
“Lorcan,” Rowan said. “His bark is worse than his bite.”
“Aedion said he played him in Volleyfest last year in Miami. Why didn’t y’all compete in the men’s division together?”
Rowan rubbed the back of his neck.
“It’s...complicated.”
“I assume this has to do with your ex?”
“She invited me to play in with her. Lor wasn’t even supposed to be here this weekend. He decided to surprise me last minute.”
“So there is a gooey center underneath the scowl!” Aelin said.
“To be honest, I think Lor is probably the most sensitive and caring of all four of us. He just—isn’t good at emoting. He’s also a fastidious believer in ‘boys night’, though I think that’s just because he’s not good at chatting women up.”
“Bet he wasn’t too thrilled with me last night then, huh?”
“He’ll get over it. And he still pulls like crazy, even with his terrible flirting. Usually women take one look at him and decide they don’t even care if he can talk at all.”
Aelin laughed.
“I figured as much,” she said, rising from the bed again. “I have a lot of follow-up questions, but I need a shower before we go. Care to join me?”
She was already halfway to the open bathroom door when Rowan found his feet again, and wasting no time, he quickly swept her up in his arms and carried her the rest of the way.
After they spent forty-fives minutes fooling around in the shower and another hour having sex against nearly every available surface in the suite, breakfast—inevitably—turned to lunch.
After lunch, they’d joined a pick-up “king of the beach” doubles tournament some of the previous day’s competitors had set up. They’d made such a good team that it was nearly evening by the time they lost a match and were finally bumped off the champion court.
Starving from the exertion, they’d gone back to the suite to shower before leaving again to go to dinner. Dinner had turned into cocktails on the beach, which had turned into beers  drinks at Bar 35 then tequila shots at Smith & Kings. The evening that followed was a blur of pleasure, as was the following morning, which they spend in bed together, naked and sweaty.
At every turn Rowan told himself he needed to leave, need to start distancing himself from Aelin so he could start trying to forget her. However, he’d known from the start that it had been a fools errand.
There was no forgetting a girl like Aelin Ashryvver-Galathynius. Her vivacity, her humor, her raw sexual charisma—Rowan had never met anyone like her, and he doubted he ever would again.
So how the fuck was he supposed to just let her go? It was a thought that plagued him all the way to the airport on the afternoon Aelin was due to fly back to the mainland. He’d agreed to accompany her for a last drink before her flight departed, wanting to wring every last second he could out of the weekend.
It was—he knew—only delaying the inevitable by continually putting off their goodbyes, but Ro couldn’t help it. Aelin was like the sun—vibrant and essential—and Rowan had found himself in her orbit.
Harsh realities aside, it was a painfully lovely place to be.
Ro definitely felt a shift in the vibe as he paid their tab and they headed towards the security gate. Things had gone from easy and playful to quiet and subdued, Aelin’s usual flair dimming as she continually adjusted the bag on her shoulder.
Rowan searched and searched for the words he would say to her when they were finally forced to part. They’d never even exchanged numbers; perhaps he could ask for hers and offer to call her if he was ever in Austin?
It seems so stilted and formal after everything they’d shared this weekend. He’d been inside of her, for Christ’s sake. In fact, they’d had so much sex that they’d had to buy more condoms. And she’d fallen asleep in his arms last night, and stayed there until they’d woken up this morning. That was worth more than some vague promise to “look her up” if he even came to Texas.
Still, Ro was burning daylight and he knew it. The security gate was visible now, and though they’d both seemed to slow their pace in an effort to delay the inevitable, it was approaching just the same. Finally they reached the short queue where agents were checking boarding passes and travelers were taking off their shoes and belts.
Aelin was busy on her phone as they slowed to a stop, almost as if she were avoiding looking at him.
“My cousins are already at the gate,” she said by way of explanation. “They said boarding is starting in twenty minutes.”
Rowan glanced at the security line then his watch.
“You’ve got time; things seem to be moving pretty fast.”
Aelin looked over at the line as well. Finally she dragged her azure eyes back to him, the sheer force of her gaze enough to stun him stupid. She paused, as if waiting for him to speak. He had nothing, though.
“Well,” she said finally, a small, tense smile playing around her lips.  “I would offer to shake your hand and say ‘it was nice to meet you’, but given the fact we’ve seen each other naked, I think I’ll spare us both the indignity.”
Rowan forced a laugh, even as a pit began forming in his stomach. Shit, should he give her a hug, offer to give her—
“Goodbye, Rowan,” she said, leaning up to brush a kiss just to the right of his mouth. “It’s been—“ she clearly her throat, glancing away for a second. “I had an amazing weekend.”
“Congratulations again,” he found himself saying. “For making the AVP tour. You deserve it.”
Jesus Fucking Christ, was that really the best he could do? Maybe Fen was right, and he was destined to die alone.
Aelin’s grin didn’t quite meet her eyes.
“Like I said, I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“Happy to help,” he forced out. “Have a safe flight, Aelin.”
She smiled, the solemnity in her eyes now limning her face as well.
“I put my number in your phone,” she said, beginning to walk backwards towards the TSA podium. “Call me if you’re ever in Austin.”
With that she turned, and Rowan’s heart was suddenly in his throat, beating two hundred times a minute.
His mind whirred with all the reasons he had to simply let her leave—she still in college, they lived thousands of miles apart, he was a cop in Vice Squad and she was a fucking billionaire—a perceived conflict of interest even if it wasn’t a real one. There was no way it could ever work. It was hopeless, fraught with problems, doomed to fail—
He could hear his pulse pounding in his ears as he continued to spiral, thoughts growing so jumbled that he could hardly make sense of them anymore. Then a single, cogent thread emerged through the cacaphony and chaos, spooling him back to sanity.
A voice.
“Anóitos,” it teased, the tone soft and airy. “What are you doing? Don’t just stand there!”
Fuck , he missed that voice.
It had been three years since he’d lost Lyria. Three years since he’d heard her laugh, or sing, or speak Greek.
Three long, terrible years since he’d heard her speak at all.
But even after all this time, her voice was crystal clear in his head. He often felt it was her absence—more than her memory—that he’d been left with when she’d died. In that moment, though, it almost felt as if Lyria were standing beside him.
“Go, Ro. I’ll be here.”
Rowan felt a warmth tingle through him, and as he blinked back to reality, Lyria’s voice seemed to fade. But where he’d been buzzing with doubt a moment before, Rowan felt himself suddenly brimming with clarity.
If there was anything he’d learned from Lyria’s sickness, it was that life was simply too short to waste.
Lyria had died with her would-be engagement ring still in tucked away in Ro’s dresser drawer. He hated himself for the cowardice, but when she got sick he couldn’t bring herself to ask her to marry him. He’d wanted to believe that if he put off giving her the ring it might somehow serve as a talisman to keep her from leaving him. It hadn’t though, and instead she’d died never getting to be his wife.
It was a mistake he couldn’t afford to make a second time. It was improbable that he and Aelin would get married, but he felt he owed them both the opportunity to find out.
His mind was made up; fuck, he was really doing this.
“Aelin!”
She turned, watching with bemusement as he jogged toward her.
“What—“ she began, but he cut her off.
“I don’t want this to be over,” he blurted.
Aelin sagged a bit, a genuine smile splitting her face.
“Oh thank God,” she said.
Setting down her bag, she started towards him and they met halfway. Rowan cradled her face in his hands and he bent to kiss her. She fisted the fabric of his T-shirt at the hips as the kiss intensified.
“So what does this mean?” Aelin said, slightly breathless as she pulled away. “I’ve never done this before.”
Rare for her to admit she wasn’t perfect at something.
“We’ll have to figure it out as we go,” Rowan said. “My detective’s exam is in two weeks, and then I get a week off. I can come to Austin then?”
She nodded.
“Are we...” Aelin paused, biting her lip. “I mean, do you want to be...”
“Be what?”
“Exclusive?”
“Yes!”
It was out before he could stop it, so he quickly amended, “but only if you—“
“Yes,” she said, smile easier now. “I want that.”
“And are we...using labels?”
She smirked.
“Three days in and you’re already trying to wife me up?”
Now it was Rowan’s turn to flush.
“Okay, no labels—“
“I didn’t say that,” Aelin said quickly. “I just don’t want to jinx a good thing by moving too fast. What if you get back to LA and realize you accidentally got a girlfriend you don’t want? You did drink a lot of tequila this weekend.”
“Never,” he said gently, taking her cheeks in his hands. “Doubt that I want you, Aelin Ashryvver-Galathynius. And I’m fine to wait, if that’s what you want.”
“But...”
He felt his lips tugging again.
“But it’s doesn’t feel soon, not to me.”
“So....labels?” she said.
“Labels,” he agreed.
She grinned, kissing him again.
“In that case, your girlfriend has to go or she’s going to miss her flight and turn into your live-in girlfriend.”
“Honestly, your boyfriend wouldn’t mind.”
Aelin scrunched her nose, even as she laughed a bit.
“We agree the third person thing is creepy, right?”
“Yes, thank you God,” Rowan said, laughing with her.
“Dame un beso,” Aelin said, grabbing the collar of his shirt in an effort to tug his lips closer to hers. “Or I really am going to miss this flight.”
Knowing his time was short, Rowan made the kiss count, teasing Aelin with his lips and tongue until she was slightly breathless.
“See you in three weeks,” he said, pulling away.
He set the bag Aelin had abandoned on her shoulder and kissed her quickly again.
“And text me when you get on the plane so I know you’ve made it.”
She grinned, kissing him a final time before jogging off towards security once again.
“Oh and just fair warning,” she said, spinning on a heel to grin at him as she joined the short line. “My cousins are not going to like this. Might want to sleep with one eye open for a while.”
“You tell me this now?”
“Te veo pronto, querido,” she said in response, kissing her hand in farewell before showing the TSA agent her boarding pass and disappearing into the concourse.
He waited several minutes before pulling out his phone to text her. As he did, his phone chirped to signal an incoming text.
Did I mention I also stole your number and put it in my phone? 😈 💋
Troublemaker, he wrote back. Did you make it?
Yes. Wish you were here to join the Mile High Club with me.
Before Rowan could even formulate a response to that, his phone chimed again, this time from a number he didn’t know.
This is Aedion Ashryvver, it said. Treat her right or I’ll break both your kneecaps.
His phone went off a third time, the new text also from an unknown number.
Not just your kneecaps, either.
Galen Ashryvver, if Ro had to guess.
Ignoring Aelin’s cousins, he replied to her instead, saying simply, Seems like good news travels fast
The grey ellipsis pulsed for a moment as Aelin typed.
Aedion said it was their price for letting us stay in the suite alone all weekend. Taking off now. Talk to you soon ✌ ✈
Then it was worth it, Rowan sent back. Have a safe flight. Call me when you get stateside.
Aelin sent back a heart, and Rowan had to fight down an annoyingly girlish fluttering in his stomach as he dialed a new number and put the phone to his ear.
It only rang twice before the line clicked.
“He lives!” Cash said in greeting. “Welcome back from the island  of puss—“
“Very funny,” Rowan interjected. “Where are you?”
“Hideaway. Where are you, honeymoon chapel in Vegas?”
Rowan rolled his eyes.
“Ha-ha.”
Cash scoffed.
“Ha-ha, that’s all I get? You’ve been gone for two days, brother! I want details.”
“I’ll tell you everything when I get there.”
“Just give me a quick teaser: do you have a girlfriend now?”
Rowan growled, making Cash laugh.
“I told you!” He said to someone on his end, presumably Lor or Fen.
“You’re seriously dating her?” Lor demanded a second later. “Like full-blown ‘exclusively-fucking, using-labels’ dating her?”
“Full-blown.”
“I KNEW IT!” Cash called, just as Lor growled, “fuck me, man.”
“You owe me a drink,” Lorcan told Rowan. “I just lost 200 bucks because of you.”
“I’ll buy you a shot of house tequila,” Rowan said, unable to keep in a smile. “Final offer.”
“Hurry up,” was Lorcan’s only response. “Before Kahukore explodes from the anticipation.”
“Getting my popcorn as we speak!” Cash called from the background, and with that Rowan hung up.
A short Uber ride later, Rowan strolled into the Hideaway Inn, his friends wolf-whistling as he approached.
Cash was on his feet first, grabbing Rowan by the shoulders an inspecting him head-to-toe.
“What are you doing?” Rowan said, playfully pushing out of Cash’s grip.
“Just taking you in,” Cash said with a disarming smile. “It feels like it’s been an age since we last saw you!”
Rowan rolled his eyes, and Fen added, “Pretty dark circles you’ve got there, lover boy. Galathynius keep you up all night?”
“I am not answering that,” Rowan said. “Or any questions about what she’s like in bed.”
“Why?” Cash cooed. “Because she’s your girlfriend?”
“You’re both clowns,” Rowan said.
“You’re the one dating a teenager,” Lor said. “So who’s the clown now?”
“She’s 21,” Rowan said. “And green isn’t a good color on your, Salvaterre, so just relax.”
Lorcan smirked.
“Jealous? Of you dating a Amazonian she-devil? I don’t think so.”
“That is exactly what a jealous person would say,” Fen pointed out. “Chin up, Lor, your time will come.”
Lorcan only snarled in response.
“What do we think Salvaterre’s  eventual lady love going to be like?” Cash chimed in. “Betting line’s officially open, gents.”
“Tiny,” Rowan and Fen both said at the same time.
“Fifty bucks says he ends up marrying a girl under 5’4,” Fen added.
“Grow up,” Lor said with an eye roll, though Ro had known him long enough to tell he wasn’t actually bothered by the conversation.
“Make me,” Fen said.
Lor jerked his head the pool table in the back corner.
“I beat you, you owe me fifty bucks and you shut your cakehole.”
“And if I win?” Fen said.
“You won’t, so it doesn’t matter. Let’s do this.”
Lor shot Rowan a quick, conspiratorial nod, and Ro realized Lor had done it on purpose, to give Rowan and Cash a chance to talk.
It was one of the things that Ro loved about Lorcan Salvaterre. He was perceptive in seeing what people needed, and not jealous or petty. Somehow, he’d seemed to sense Rowan’s need to talk to Cash alone, even if Ro himself hadn’t realized it until just now.
He gave Lor a grateful smile, and Lor turned to clap Fen on the back, leading him towards the billiards table in the back.
“So,” Cash said, flagging the bartender down and ordered two beers and two shots of whiskey. “Tell me everything.”
He clicked his glass to Rowan’s in salute and they both tipped the shots back. Rowan winced a bit at the taste before running a hand through his hair, trying to collect his thoughts.
He ran Cash quickly through the weekend’s events, skipping over the more X-rated content and ending with his and Aelin’s agreement at the airport.
“Damn,” Cash said when Rowan had finished. “Are you sure this girl isn’t a witch? Because she has you under a spell.”
Rowan laughed.
“She’s—” he began, breaking off with a sheepish laugh. “I really like her, man.”
“You’re smitten,” Cash said with a grin. “Look at you!”
Rowan opened his mouth to deny it before shrugging.
“Being with her feels different somehow. It isn’t just that she’s gorgeous or funny or smart, even though she’s all of those things. It’s more than that.”
Cash considered this, but he didn’t tease the way Ro feared he might. Instead he simply asked, “what of you mean?”
Rowan blew out a breath.
“There’s just something about her that’s almost... familiar . Like I’ve been looking for her my whole life, even without knowing it. I know that sounds crazy, but...”
Rowan shrugged again, tracing the rim of his glass.
“She’s just special.”
Cash’s smiled, a softer thing than his fiendish grin from before.
“I’ve never seen you like this, brother.” He paused, his expression growing more reverent as he added in a softer voice, “Not in a long time, at least.”
They were quiet a moment as they both silently recalled the memories that hung unspoken between them. Cash had been the first important person in his life that Rowan had introduced Lyria to, and over the years, Cash was the one who’d come to know Lyria the best; he’d been her friend in his own right.
He couldn’t see it at the time, but when Ro finally emerged from his own grief over Lyria’s death, it was realize that Cash had been grieving as well; he’d simply put his aside to focus on helping Rowan heal instead. 
It was hard to describe what that sacrifice had meant to Ro; the nice thing about a friendship as deep as theirs was that Rowan didn’t have to explain his gratitude for Cash to understand it. It was implicit in every conversation they ever had about Lyria, even this one.
“You want to know the weirdest part?” Rowan said finally. “When I was watching Aelin walk away, it felt like, I don’t know, like Lyria was there with me. Like she was telling me ‘go get her’.”
Cash smiled, his expression one of admiration tinged in sadness.
“She wanted you to be happy, Ro.”
Rowan nodded, throat tight as he looked into his glass.
“I still miss her, every day. Part of me worries that if things with Aelin ever got serious, I might start missing her less.”
Cash’s answering shrug was sympathetic.
“Is that a bad thing?”
“I don’t want to forget her,” Rowan said, marveling that he could admit that fear out loud.
“You won’t,” Cash assured him. “Ever. But you’re allowed to move on, brother; that’s what she wanted for you.”
There was something in his tone, an assurity and a promise, that had Rowan’s mouth going dry. He glanced up to meet Cash’s gaze.
“She told you that?”
Cash nodded once.
“The last time I saw her. She made me promise to look out for you, and to make sure you ended up with the right girl. And honestly?” He said, a smile beginning to grow on his face. “I think you might have just met her. I can’t let you mess that up by overthinking things, for Lyria’s sake as much for your and Aelin’s.”
Rowan felt his lips tugging up.
“You’re going to like her,” he said, and Cash grinned.
“Latin girl who can kick your ass in sports? I love her already.”
Rowan laughed.
“I’m going to Austin after my exam, but she’s planning on coming to LA sometime after that. If you’re free, you could fly out, I have airline miles—“
“I’d love to,” Cash interjected, clapping Ro in the back. “But I’m going to be out of commission for the next few months. I promise I’ll meet her properly soon, though. She seems cool as hell.”
Not to be put off by the diversion regarding Aelin, Rowan frowned, narrowing his eyes as he scrutinized his friend’s expression. Cash’s answering smile was cryptic and slightly wild. It was then Ro remembered what Cash had told him when he’d first gotten into town days ago.
“Fuck,” he said, running a hand through his silver hair. “I feel like such a dick, you said you had news. I totally forgot, I’m sorry.”
Cash laughed, the sound easy and unburdened.
“You just met the women you’re probably going to marry. I’ll give you a pass.”
Rowan thought to object to the notion he was going to marry Aelin after only three days together, but something told him not to.
“Well tell me now,” Rowan said instead.
His friend’s cryptic smile returned, mischief sparkling in his hazel eyes.
“The only thing worse than having too many secrets,” Cash always said. “Is having none at all.”
Ro had a feeling Cash was about to drop a big one on him right now.
“I’m moving to London.”
“Wait?” Rowan demanded. “Seriously?”
Cash grinned.
“Seriously.”
“Just for a change of pace?”
“Partly,” Cash said with a shrug. “But mostly to be a Master Sommelier.”
Now that, Rowan had not expected. He struggled to pick his jaw off the floor enough to speak.
“Like a wine expert?” He said, stunned. “I thought you didn’t like wine! You always ripped on your uncle for opening Merchant of Vino!”
Cash laughed.
“That’s because it’s a stupid name and Dev’s a hapless businessman.“
Rowan still couldn’t fully master his shock, though it was quickly being subsumed by an overwhelming pride.
“This is amazing, man,” he said, clasping Cash’s shoulder. “When did you decide to do this?”
Cash’s smile had grown slightly sheepish.
“When I first sat for the Level One Sommelier exam three years ago?”
“Three years?” Rowan repeated. “You’ve been sitting on this for three fucking years? Why didn’t you say anything? Every time I asked about your job you brushed me off!”
Cash rubbed the back of his neck.
“I didn’t want to tell you in case it—didn’t pan out.”
“Seems like it’s panning out just fine!” Rowan said with a laugh.
“It’s going alright,” Cash agreed with a laugh. “Considering I passed the theory portion of the Master Sommelier exam. I just have to complete the tasting and I’ll be one of 229 Masters Somms in the world.”
“Jesus Christ,” Rowan blurted. “That’s incredible. How does London fit into all this?”
“If I said the name Sadeghi, would that mean anything to you?”
“Persian billionaires or something?”
Cash nodded.
“The old man is from originally from Tehran, but the family has been in England for ages; they’re real estate royalty in the UK. Sadeghi put his son in charge opening a new hotel and restaurant in London, and I’m going to be the wine manager. Make the lists, relationship build with vineyards, that kind of thing. They’ve already hired a Michelin Star chef from Marrakech, so it’s...a pretty big deal. It’s also a good way to for me to grow my network while I study for the exam. I don’t want to be stuck in the restaurant business forever.”
“Cash,” Rowan said, grinning. “That’s amazing.”
Cash smiled.
“Maybe you and Aelin can come visit once I get settled,” Cash said in deflection, clearly at his limit for discussing himself. “You know, Aelin your girlfriend.”
Rowan had to laugh.
He had a girlfriend.
And—Jesus Christ—Cash was moving to England. It was almost too much good news for a single day.
“I’m happy for you,” he told his friend, giving his shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “And you deserve this. You’re going to crush it”
“I hope so,” Cash said. “The pass rate for the tasting portion of the exam is 32%.”
“You’re the smartest person I know,” Rowan said. “So that number means nothing.”
Cash grinned.
“You flirting with me, Whitethorn?”
“If you’re going to be friends with billionaires, you need to learn how to start taking compliments,” Rowan said with a chuckle.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Cash said, and Rowan could see the unsaid words shining in his friend’s hazel eyes. “Another drink?”
Cash turned to slip off the stool he’d been perched on, by Rowan caught his arm.
“Cash.”
Cash turned back, expression somewhat bemused. Rowan felt a lump beginning to form in his throat, but he pushed on regardless.
“It’ll be you, you know that right?”
“Be me?” Cash repeated, confused.
“When I get married—whoever I get married to—you’ll be my best man. I couldn’t have it any other way.”
Cash smiled, eyes sparkling. He considered this for a moment before pulling Rowan into a hug, one which Rowan gratefully accepted.
“Love you, brother.”
There were very few people Rowan considered worthy of this type of familial affection, but Cash was certainly one of them.
“I’m not drunk enough for this kind of thing,” Cash said, pulling away. “I’m going to get us another drink.”
Rowan’s phone buzzed with an incoming call just as Cash was sauntering away. He was surprised to find it was Aelin, and concern sluiced through him as he answered the call.
Before he could ask if she was okay, Aelin said, “Stupid flight attendant has been holding out on me. She waited until just now to tell me I could make calls on WiFi.”
Rowan felt amusement tugging at his lips.
“Should I be concerned that you’re calling from altitude? Nothing’s wrong, is there?”
Rowan could practically hear Aelin’s grin through the phone.
“No,” she said breezily “But I realized I never told you about the Cinnabon I had on my way to the gate. I figured I should call and tell you now lest I forget.”
“Oh yeah?” Rowan said.
He couldn’t help it; he was all-out smiling now.
“It was life-changing,” Aelin said.
Rowan glanced up to find Cash joining Fen and Lor at the pool table with a conspiratorial wink. When he mouthed ‘sorry’ and made to rise, Cash waved him off with a smile.
“In that case,” Rowan said, settling back on his stool. “Tell me everything.”
THE END
If you liked this story and want more Rowaelin, check out my Nessian fic In Vino Veritas, set in the same modern au-verse about four years later. If you want a sneak peak at how Lorcan’s romance check out the teaser for F*cking Lawyers, set within the In Vino timeline. ♄ 
TAGLIST:  @tswaney17 @katexrenee @mightymorphingayagenda @nalgenewhore @superspiritfestival @mis-lil-red @pilesofriles @whitewashedasiangiril @http-itsrebecca @starkovsnesta @thebitchupstairs @sometimesimthatbitch @islareads @faerie-queen-fireheart @queen-of-glass @sleeping-and-books @enpointe10 @justgiu12 @thesurielships @keshavomit @stardelia @awesomelena555 @alyx801 @carbconnoisseur @ladywitchling @thewayshedreamed @annedub @cityofchelsea16 @spyofthenightcourt @empress-ofbloodshed @morrigays @theminorfallandthemajorlift @belamoonbeam @moonstoneriver77 @wesupremeginger @scrawlandspirits @garnet-29 @b00kworm @cursebreaker29 @jesstargaryenqueen @feyrethedarklady @officialasianbitch @cridhe-teine @sassyhobbits @musicmaam @januarystears @tottenhamboys20 @shyvioletcat @ifinallygavein @maybekindasortaace
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sooghostwriter · 4 years ago
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Member/Pairing: Do Kyung Soo x OC Genre/Type: Mature, Romance, Angst, Doctor AU. Warnings: OC is married.  Word count: 6,284
Summary: Kyung Soo fell in love with So Min at med school. But she wasn’t alone.
Some years later,  he meets her again, but her life hasn’t changed since those days. Neither his feelings. 
Chapter I
“You look very beautiful dear” Her father told her as soon as So Min approached him.
“Thanks dad, you look very handsome too”
“Well, this is the only opportunity I have to look good since the rest of the year I’m wearing a scrub” She knew what he meant. Since her father was alone at the door greeting their guests, she decided to stay there with him as his daughter and a doctor of the hospital.
As every year the hospital was celebrating its anniversary. This time it was the 20th celebration, so the party was a bit bigger than in other years. More than 200 guests, from doctors to nurses, therapists and the most important ones, donors, business partners, and people from the government, 
“Our new pediatric surgeon arrives today”
“I was informed dad, your new favorite?” Her dad every year had a new favorite doctor. This new favorite didn’t get better pay or better shifts. Her dad would only talk about them at any given time, and maybe he would send them to several symposiums during the year. 
“This kid is going to be good for us, not only he’s  bringing all his patients but also he is becoming the best in the area”
“Where did he study?”
“Same as you, he was one year higher than you, he says he remembers you”
“Really, what’s his name?”
“Do Kyung Soo” The name rang a bell, but a very distant one. She went over all the faces of the students she met during those years, but his name could only bring one memory back.
“Ah! I remember him! Up skirt Kyung Soo!”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Yeah, he was a player back then, so everybody called him that, because that’s where his hand will end up, up the ski
”
“Yes, I understand, thank you” He said cutting her off, but still laughed. 
“I didn’t know that, and I was his teacher for a year
did he
you know
with you?”
“Oh, no way dad, I was already dating my husband at that time” Her dad fixed his tie, slightly irked. 
“You should have dated more” He wasn’t very fond of his son-in-law. He just never liked the idea of his daughter getting married so young, and so inexperienced. 
“We are not discussing this dad, also it is too late for me to date some more” She answered playfully, already aware of her father’s opinion. 
“By the way, where is he?” She did her best to keep a composed expression, a carefree one maybe. 
“He had a surgery, and he will be done late, I told him to go straight home” He nodded as he greeted a new guest and then changed the subject. 
“Now that you told me that about Kyung Soo, I’m going to think about it each time I see him, it’s like I just forgot all the great things about him and the only thing there is his silly nickname, is hilarious”
“Don’t tell him that I told you, I’m sure he is not like that anymore” She tried to defend her colleague. Her dad looked into the distance still laughing and shook his head. 
“I doubt it, look at him” He nodded in the direction of the entrance. A smiling Kyung Soo walked in their direction, arranging his tie nervously and rubbing his hand once he was done. Suddenly, she remembered him. He looked older now, in a good way. She remembered he had a child face when they were studying, now he looked way more mature. But that was all she remembered. She didn’t remember ever talking to him.
As he stood in front of them, greeting her father first, she remembered that one of the reasons Kyung Soo got that nickname was because he was very popular. She remembered that his popularity was related to the fact that he was very handsome. And he still was. Now even more.
Her memories of him weren’t a lot. She never really looked at him twice because he was kind of a slut, and that made him already a very unattractive person for her. But now she did look twice, and it was a nice view. He was wearing a dark blue suit and a light blue shirt and a tie of the same color. His hair was perfectly arranged to make him look young but dapper. He then greeted her, shaking her hand. Apparently, her dad was about to become member number one Kyung Soo's fan club. 
“I’m thrilled to finally have you here, as a member of our family, please feel at home Kyung Soo”
“Thank you, sir, this is the first time I get such a welcoming”
“Well, it’s great to have you here son, So Min why don’t you take him to his table? I have to stay here greeting our guests, I will be there in a minute” She asked Kyung Soo to follow her and he obeyed, slightly startled. 
“My dad asked for you to sit with us, bear with him, he gets very excited whenever someone new arrives” He smiled politely at her but said nothing. 
“You will be sitting with my parents, my uncle who also works at the hospital and my husband and I” They had already reached the table where her mom was chatting with her uncle. Kyung Soo stood next to her making a face. She could describe it as surprised, although it looked like something more. 
“You
you are married?”
“Yeah” She answered with the smile that the subject brought to her face. 
“You got married? When? With who?” Those were normal questions to ask, but his tone wasn’t normal, it made her a bit defensive. 
“I got married four years ago, with my boyfriend”
“Sung Wook?” “Yeah, you know him?” He nodded, looking around the room, his lips forming a straight line.
 “Well, yeah, a married him”
“He is not here? He works at the hospital?”
“No, he doesn’t, he is a plastic surgeon, he works at the Generic Hospital, he is working now” Kyung Soo kept silent looking at her left hand. 
“Congratulations” He broke the silence sitting at the table. She stood there, not sure what to do. Her seat was next to him, but he looked kind of angry and she wasn’t looking forward to a sulking partner. They both remained silent. So Min got an unfriendly aura from him. She couldn’t understand why. He looked so cheerful when he arrived.
Once dinner was served, her dad took Kyung Soo’s attention. He looked more friendly talking to her dad. Her dad asked him everything about his internship at the Mayo Clinic and kept repeating how happy he was to have him there, after all, the Hospital was opening a pediatric intensive care unit because of his arrival. She was sure her dad was very close to call the PICU 'The Do Kyung Soo PICU’. Her dad included her in the conversation, but Kyung Soo never reached her with his words. She shouldn’t care. She was talking with him for the first time. Which was the thing that bothered her the most. Why so much hostility in a first meeting?
After the dessert, there were some speeches, some greetings, and a celebrated welcoming to the superb Pediatric Surgeon Do Kyung Soo. It shocked her to see that he could smile.
After everything was said she got a text from her husband offering her a ride. She accepted gladly. It was close to midnight, she was full of food, her heels were hurting her feet and she had patients to attend tomorrow. She bid goodbye to her parents, uncle and Kyung Soo. 
“See you tomorrow I guess” She told him to which he only nodded.
Sung Wook was waiting for her in the car. She greeted her with a kiss on the cheek when she got in. 
“Did you have fun?”
“Yes, it was nice, my dad was very happy, especially with the new surgeon, Do you remember Do Kyung Soo?” He pursed his lips thoughtfully. 
“I do, Up Skirt Kyung Soo”
“You also remember that nickname?” He laughed with her, making her heart warm. 
“I do, but it was an unfair nickname, he had a friend back then, Chanyeol, remember him? tall, big ears, he works at Bussan now, well, he told me that a girl he rejected started the rumor that he was a player, and he never bothered to deny it”
“I remember Chanyeol, so he is not upskirt
Anyway I don’t remember ever talking to him back then”
“He wasn’t very talkative” The conversation moved from Kyung Soo to the dinner party and his day at work. Once they arrived home, everything was said. They moved around their house in silence. Not comfortable silence, but a rather heavy silence. She was too conscious of the lack of conversation.
It made the time between arriving home and going to sleep incredibly long and silent. Sometimes boring.
She knew they were facing something in their relationship. She didn’t know what to call it. The camaraderie they had was gone. They didn’t fight. But they didn’t laugh either. At least not as often as they used to. She kept repeating to herself that at least they weren’t fighting, so they didn’t hate each other, they were still respectful to each other. But it didn’t make it easier.
She missed the past. Her previous relationship with Sung Wook. When she looked forward to arriving home. When he called her during his free time for a little chat about anything. A couple of months ago she gave herself an ultimatum. If things are still like this next week, we are going to couples therapy.
But that never happened.
She never had the guts to tell him so, because whenever she looked at him, he looked alright. He didn’t look worried, sad, or tired of her. He looked just like always.
So maybe the issue was only in her head.
+
When Kyung Soo saw her, he felt time stop for a long minute. He was a man of science and he knew that was impossible. But as a man of science, he knew about Premature ventricular contractions, what people called skip a beat.
And that's what happened to him when he met her.
He was in his third year, assisting one of his teachers at the physiology lab. They were going to analyze lung and heart tissue. A very simple class. His teacher asked him if he could lead the class because he was exhausted after 9 hours in the OR. Kyung Soo couldn’t say no to his tired eyes, so he moved around the lab as his teacher sat at his desk. He was talking with one of the students when he heard a loud thud and a scream. He looked to the front of the lab, and his teacher was lying on the floor unconscious. He dashed to the front, but someone beat him. One of the students kneeled next to him and began applying CPR as the other students stood in shock. He was in shock too, but not because of his teacher.
With firm arms, she pressed on his chest rhythmically, as the room went silent in fear and surprise he could hear her breathing and grunts. 
“Someone call an ambulance!” She shouted, looking at him with a frown and sweat forming on her forehead.
That’s when his heart had a premature ventricular contraction.
Thanks to her, their teacher survived the heart attack.
But Kyung Soo was sure he was developing a heart disease.
Every time he saw her, he felt a current of electricity under his skin and around his body.
With time it got more and more frustrating.
So Min wasn’t single.
She was very much in love with her boyfriend, Sung Wook. They were together most of the time, he owned her laughs and her stares. Kyung Soo was glad they were one year apart, so he didn’t have to see them together all the time. But even knowing that she wasn’t single, he kept looking at her and searching for her. He didn’t know how to explain the way he was attracted to her. She looked beautiful in his eyes, the way she walked always made him stop and look at her. He could recognize her voice in the multitude. But her words were never directed at him. And all the years they shared the same faculty they never exchanged more than a greeting. She was friendly, and very welcoming, but he was protecting himself.
He knew that a simple conversation with her could finish building the foundations of his feelings. But what use it have if she was already dating?  He knew they could still be friends, but he never liked suffering just for the feel of it.
He wasn’t that admirable.
But there were way too many opportunities for them to meet. He stopped assisting his teacher but ran into her at the voluntary work they did in small hospitals in the countryside.
It was terrible to learn that she was so giving with her time. That she was conscious of her privilege and decided to give back. She preferred to spend time with the patients of the different hospitals instead of her boyfriend.  
A year passed since he met her and every day he wished them to break up. He hated having those thoughts. Nothing, absolutely nothing assured him that even if they broke up, she would pay attention to him. She didn’t do it now, why would that change even if she was single?
++
So Min was done with that morning’s patients. Her stomach was calling for her attention, asking for food and it wanted an immediate solution. The fastest option was the coffee shop downstairs with their overpriced sandwiches. She was done selecting her lunch and dessert, about to pay, when someone slid their card in front of her. 
“Charge her order with mine please” Kyung Soo was standing next to her, smiling at the cashier. 
“You don’t have to” She tried to stop him. 
“Please let me” Since she never interacted with him back at med school she knew nothing about him. So his stare shook her when he rather ordered than asked her to accept his invitation. She couldn’t say no, it looked like he would get mad if she did. He ordered a sandwich for himself and a bottle of orange juice and they waited for the order around the counter. 
“I should be the one inviting you, as a welcoming meal” She said, crossing her arms in front of her. 
“I was the rude one last night, this is my apology”
“You don’t need to, although it was strange” Kyung Soo looked at his hands and then her. 
“I don’t have an explanation, but it wasn’t related to you, sorry,” He said, looking away. 
“Ok, as long as you don’t hate me for no reason”
“I don’t! Of course, I don’t” It made her very happy to hear that. She hated the idea of being judged and liked the idea of having another friendly colleague, so she offered her hand, so they could greet properly.
Kyung Soo stared at her hand slightly shocked. He was over his crush, but for some reason, touching her hand now sounded so incredible. Like shaking the hand of a long-time idol. He grasped her hand softly, his body language incredibly formal. But the formality was cut short when they were informed that their sandwiches were warmed up. They grabbed their food and sat at one of the few free tables.
She didn’t have hard feelings with him. He must have his reasons, and she wasn’t going to ask him what those reasons were.
He didn’t explain himself either, only apologized. Which was good enough for her. 
“So you are a General Surgeon, that’s good”
“It’s not, but thank you” He giggled almost choking with his drink. 
“Too hard?”
“I can’t complain, I knew how it was going to be, I’m lucky I have no children, and my husband is a doctor too, so he gets it” He coughed softly and took a big bite of his sandwich.
“You are a pediatric surgeon, you don’t get it easier than me”
“I don’t have children nor husband, or wife for that matter, so
” So he was free to slave himself with work. 
“Good for you Kyung Soo, how was your first day at work?”
“Good so far, a lot of doctors came to greet me, the team at the PICU is great”
“You got nurse Kim” He lit up at the name. 
“Nurse Kim Junmyeon?! Yeah, he is great”
“You took him away from me, thank you” She joked, narrowing her eyes at him. 
“At least Jae Yi, his wife, stayed with us” Kyung Soo looked at her with big round eyes, his sandwich halfway to his mouth. 
“Is everyone here married?!” The people seated around them reacted to his shout, some laughing, some a bit startled. Kyung Soo noticed the small ruckus he caused and apologized. 
“He got married a couple of months ago, he didn’t tell you? That’s weird, whenever he can, he brings up his wedding, or how his wife proposed, or how great his wife is”
“They met here?”
“Yeah, they arrived the same year, A couple of months after that I found them kissing on the stairs” She laughed at the memory, Junmyeon's cheeks red as apples, and Jae Yi laughing at his cute reaction was a fun and adorable memory. 
“The hospital is not against that kind of relationships?” So, Surgeon Do was checking his privileges as a doctor uh? 
“No, keeps the morale up I guess, As long as they don’t fight in the OR, everything is fine” He giggled again, he had an easy laugh apparently, and she was known for being funny, so they could have a good work relationship. Kyung Soo was going to ask something, but her phone interrupted him. A 40-year-old man with a broken leg and a shoulder injury had just arrived.
+++
Kyung Soo was amazed at how quickly his old crush came back.
When he finished his studies, he just never saw her again. They didn’t have the same circles of friends, both of them didn’t have social media and he never got her number.
One day he just didn’t see her anymore. And since he was so busy learning how to work in a hospital and survive as a doctor, he didn’t have time to think about her. At least not every day. And now she was there, now they were co-workers. And the crush was back, stronger than ever.
They ran into each other all the time. Their offices were on the same floor and they met often at the ER. It went from 0 to 10 pretty fast and Kyung Soo didn’t know what to do. He laughed with her, shared meals, and discussed cases with her. But always made sure to not look at her hand. Her left hand was forbidden. Luckily, she always took off her ring at work.
Kyung Soo felt weirdly happy to know that she was working in such a good environment.
People made fun of her for being the daughter of the owner of the hospital, but always in a friendly way. She always fooled around with her collages telling them that she was going to talk with her dad to get them fired.  
He was getting along with everyone too. The fact that So Min was with him really helped. She did the introductions, and before people could judge him by his serious face, the other doctors and nurses had accepted him.
He was very thankful. It was always hard for him to make a good first impression. His student life was filled with people who didn’t approach him since his stare was so particular due to his bad eyesight.
“Kyung Soo, I’m hungry!, let’s go to eat” Like a clock, So Min appeared at his door at lunch time. 
“I already ate, I have a conference in 15 minutes” He sounded maybe way too disappointed, he wanted to have a meal with her. He suspected that she could appear, but that conference was mandatory. Kyung Soo hated how quickly he learned her itinerary. She had breakfast after her morning rounds and a snack in between patients. She always finished lunch with an espresso with a lot of sugar and during the night shift, she had a meal at 9 and then another at 1 am. His knowledge was heavily centered on food because those were the times when they spent time together.
Kyung Soo hated the way he reacted to finding her again.
But loved how she was already calling him a friend.
++++
Kyung Soo enjoyed his time at the ER. It worked perfectly, the nurses were great partners and all the doctors worked with a lot of respect for their patients and their colleagues.
He was on his way to the night duty room for a 30-minute nap when he ran into So Min talking with a family. It was a bit past midnight, so she was probably just out of a surgery.
“Thank you so much Doctor Jung, thank you so much” Someone who looked like the mom held her hands as the rest bowed at her. 
“I just did my part, your daughter was also very brave, she is going to spend the night at the ICU, so you should all go home and rest”
“Doctor Jung” A man who was probably the father, spoke. 
“I wanted to thank you for giving us your services, thanks to that we are going to be able to pay for the treatment of our daughter without risking our business, thank you so much”
“Please don’t mention it, now everyone go home and rest, I’m going to check on your daughter often during the night” So Min fidgeted with her hands, growing a bit uncomfortable with so many compliments, and also looked very tired after a 5-hour surgery. He waited until the family left to walk to her. 
“Good work Doctor Jung”
“Kyung Soo, you have the night shift too?”
“Yeah, did you eat anything?” She shook her head, taking off her cap. He invited her to the lounge room for a cup of ramen and she accepted.
He prepared a ramen for her and a cup of coffee for him. He looked at her eat and when he noticed that her face looked a bit brighter, he spoke to her. 
“So Min, May I ask you something?” She said yes, slurping her noodles. 
“When was the last time you got paid for your work?” The changes in her face were so fun to watch. A bit of shock, then trying to avoid his eyes so she could come up with a good excuse, and then a bit of sassiness. 
“None of your business Kyung Soo” He didn’t need a better answer, that was a confirmation. Junmyeon and Jae Yi commented once about how she would work for free depending on the situation of the family. And once by accident he heard a family commenting on how the doctor was working for free in the surgery of their sister. 
“You are amazing” He thought out loud. 
“It’s nothing amazing, is not that big of a deal and my husband takes care of me, so I don’t need that much money” She chuckled, finishing her ramen.
And as always, every reminder about her marriage twisted his stomach.
That night at the ER was an active one. It was raining outside which translated to way too many accidents and people slipping on the streets. By morning he was tired, hungry, and for some reason cranky. Before leaving, So Min came to his office to drop off some food and wish him a good day of sleep. He wished her the same and waited until she was gone to drop on his chair with a long sigh. He wished she could be the one who made things easier for him.
When she arrived home, Sung Wook was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee between his hands. He looked tired and worried. He noticed her arrival only when she was standing in front of him. 
“Is everything ok?" She asked, bathed in fear. She had had nightmares that started like this. The tension from the past months was about to burst, she felt it. 
“I couldn’t sleep last night, we need to talk” She was speechless. Her ears were buzzing, and her hands went numb. 
“I want your opinion on something, we are married and I feel like this is a you and me issue”
“Tell me” She was able to utter those two words. 
“I was offered an opportunity to go to Switzerland for two months to do some studying, a colleague got in touch with me, and you know over there surgeons are one of the best, there are a lot of procedures that I could learn first-hand, not just through videos, I could make a lot of great connections and
” So Min interrupted him grabbing his hand across the table.
“Why are you trying to convince me? You want to do this, do it”
“Can I?”
“If you are asking for my permission, you shouldn’t, if you are asking for my opinion, which you should, my opinion is that you should do it” Sung Wook got up and came to hug her resting his chin on top of her head. It had been a long time since he hugged her like that. They kept quiet for a while. His hug wasn’t tight, and neither was hers. It was warm, it was always warm and familiar, but not tight. 
“So Min, are you sure I should go?”
“I am”
“Even with what we are going through?” Something close to horror ran down her back. This was the first time he acknowledged their distancing. That there was something that it wasn’t clicking between them. 
“If it’s an issue, I’m not going”
“Babe, you have to go, It’s a great opportunity for you
and maybe
maybe is good for us, to miss each other” He grabbed her head between his hands, looking at her warmly. 
“Thank you”
“Don’t thank me” He kissed her forehead and hugged her again before going to the bathroom and finishing getting ready for work. As she changed into her pajamas, she couldn’t shake off the thought of why he didn’t kiss her. For a couple of months now every touch he gave her was closer to what you would expect from a father or a brother. Not a lover.
He left for Berne the following week. She reprogrammed a Colostomy just so she could go with him to the airport. He finally kissed her once it was time to leave. The kiss was passionate this time, catching her by surprise. A faint spark lighted up in her chest, giving her some assurance.
His trip was probably what their marriage needed.
+++++
“It’s weird because I could tell you that it feels like I’m back to being single, but I was never single, so I don’t know how that feels”
“Are you bragging that you were so popular that you always had a boyfriend?” Jae Yi commented lifting an eyebrow, getting a giggle from her husband. 
“No, but I always had Sung Wook, I never lived alone I went from my parent's house to our house”
“I can understand that, I also went from my parents’ house to my wife’s apartment” Years had taught her to comprehend Junmyeon talking through his mouth full of food. Kyung Soo also reacted to his bad manners, rolling his eyes, bothered. 
“So as I was saying, it’s weird, but I like it
I get why young women don’t want to get married” Her joke was received by a soft giggle from Junmyeon and a concerned look from Jae Yi. She knew what was going on in her marriage. 
“You don’t cook, what are you eating?” Kyung Soo asked her. 
“Delivery and frozen” He frowned at her, she knew a bit of nagging was on her way. 
“If you are experiencing singledom for two months, learn how to cook”
“Not interested, and also, I’m here most of the time, and the meals here are great” He shook his head, looking annoyed, but she knew he was just messing with her.
That day, after a short but intense appendectomy where a nurse student faded mid-procedure, she was free and ready to go home. It was almost midnight. She went to pick up her bag at her office and found Kyung Soo waiting for her at the door. 
“Doctor! What are you doing there?”
“Are you done with work?” He followed her inside her shared office. 
“Yes, I’m done, you?”
“Same, I’m going to drive you home” Her happiness was real. She thanked him profusely and quickly grabbed her things to not make him wait.  
On their way to her house, they talked about their days and what awaited them the next day. He dropped her at her door, wished her good night, and then drove away. She got inside her house, put on some music, and drank a cup of tea in the living room, giving herself some time to relax before bed.
That first week of being alone at home was just working, resting at home, and enjoying Kyung Soo 's company at work and now after work.
++++++
Kyung Soo hated when people didn’t listen to him when he was just trying to help and also, was right. So Min was an expert doing that. She never listened to his advice. It was very charming. Telling her 'I told you so' and getting a cute gesture with her nose. Just when he arrived at her office early in the morning with coffee he heard breaking glass and a loud curse. 
“No, my favorite cup!” She cried out bringing her hands to her chest. It was probably a gift from her husband. 
“One of my patients gave it to me, she painted it herself” He smiled at that, but freaked out immediately when he saw her get on her knees to clean the broken cup. 
“So Min, I will clean it, I am wearing leather gloves” Of course she didn’t listen to him. And as he came closer to her to clean with her, he found her grabbing her finger. 
“You cut your finger didn’t you?” She pouted and showed him her index finger. She got a small, bleeding cut just on the tip of her finger. He sighed heavily, joking, and told her to sit down so he could take care of her. The cut was almost nothing, but fingers liked to bleed. He put some ointment and then a cat-themed Band-Aid. 
“You don’t have a normal one?” Kyung Soo pointed at his ID. 
“It says Pediatric there, of course I don’t have a normal one” She giggled and accepted the Band-Aid. In a moment of pure stupidity, that’s the only way he could describe it, he kept a hold of her hand, examining her wedding band. 
"I can't believe you got married" He commented, giving free will to his mouth. 
"Why is it so hard to believe?" He wished she hadn’t heard him, but how not to? They were very close, in a rather small room. He felt as if  she had just found something secret about him. 
“No, it's just you are very young” He covered up, looking down at her hand, releasing it slowly. 
“Oh I see, you are one of those who see marriage as a prison”
“Yeah, sorry” He lied. He wasn’t one of those.
He craved marriage.
That day he also drove her home. Although he had to wait for her for at least an hour. But he could never say no to spend 15 minutes with her.
He wasn’t proud of recognizing that he was taking advantage of the absence of her husband. Not only to spend more time with her but also, his absence translated into her talking way less about him.
Kyung Soo was in heaven with their short but constant interactions at work. Her presence had his feelings loose. He laughed more and also suffered a bit more, but he wasn’t a man who focused on the negative. He sought for their encounters, careful to not make her feel uncomfortable, but always ready for lunch or some rest in between duties. But all that wasn’t just because he wanted to see her because he liked her. Before arriving at this hospital he was driven by work. And if he wasn’t working, he was studying. Nothing else occupied his mind. Now it was so different. He woke up thinking about her. About what could they eat or talk about. Every day he worked on building up the nerve to ask her out for drinks but never did it. But he had waited a lot and could keep waiting. Although he wasn’t sure what was he waiting for. Her ring was still there.
+++++++
“Kyung Soo, I have a Colectomy in an hour but our resident had an emergency, and no one can assist me now, could you help me?” Kyung Soo was leaving the hospital when he got her call. He turned around quickly and jumped into the elevator. She was already at the OR preparing for the operation. 
“I’m so sorry, I could do this by myself, but I had a hard morning, so I could need some help”
“Don’t worry, it’s my pleasure, tell me about the patient” So Min informed him about the procedure as they got ready for the surgery.
She was secretly wishing to be with him in the operating room. Nurse Kim didn’t shut up about what a great surgeon he was. And also, she wanted to see if his calm manners and soft movements translated into a peaceful and efficient OR.
And it did. He assisted her very naturally, his hands were wherever she needed them, without her saying anything. Always collaborating, but never taking over.  His voice brought a lot of calm to the room and since everybody already knew him, he worked comfortably.
They finished on schedule, no small fires, and a successful surgery.
She went to inform the family about the results and then met Kyung Soo outside the recovery room. 
“Everything alright?” She asked him as he took off his mask and gloves. 
“Perfect, very beautiful suture, he is still sleeping” She thanked him for the compliment and noticed something in his face. 
“Why are your cheeks so rosy and shiny?” He jolted and looked at her completely lost. 
“They are?” He stuttered, touching his face. Jae Yi stood next to them on her way to the recovery room. 
“Yeah, we just finished surgery, why do you look like this?” She gestured shaking her hand in front of his face. 
“Pretty boy privilege” She commented to Jae Yi. 
“Your husband has the same privilege” The nurse nodded, agreeing with her friend. 
“You think I’m pretty?” Kyung Soo said, pointing at himself, incredulous. 
“Yeah, you and nurse Kim always look good no matter what, that’s pretty boy privilege” Kyung Soo bowed at them shyly, making them giggle at his cuteness. 
“Speaking about the devil, is your husband done? The four of us could go for food, on me” Jae Yi texted her husband and immediately got a response. 
“He is getting ready to leave, I’m also done, let’s meet at your office in thirty” She agreed and walked to her office. 
“Pretty boy, let’s go” So Min called Kyung Soo when she noticed that he was stuck in his spot. He looked as if he had just woken up from a dream.
In their way to her office, Kyung Soo ran into one of his patients going on a walk with her mom. She shouted Kyung Soo’s name and came to him hugging his knees tightly. 
“Bora! You are here, how’s your tummy?” The little girl lifted her pajama showing a clean bandage and a sticker of a happy face. 
“It’s ok, the happy face is still there see?”
“I see, well done” He patted her head softly and tickled her behind her ear. 
“I’m very obedient doctor, tell my mom I am, so she buys me something nice” Kyung Soo promised that he was going to, caressing the girl’s head, getting a bubbly giggle from her. She signaled him to come closer, covering her mouth, ready to share a secret with him. Kyung Soo did as she instructed and adopted a serious stand, taking the girl's secret as a serious matter. Once she was done, Kyung Soo shook her hand and patted her little shoulder with his other hand. 
“Deal Bora, we will do that” She nodded and dashed to her mom’s side. Kyung Soo stood up and waved at her as he kept walking. 
“Doctor Do!” The little girl shouted, making them both turn around. 
“Have a good night, I love you!” Kyung Soo broke into a shy laugh. His entire face transformed into this twelve-year-old child. His eyes were now crescent moons, his cheeks looked rounder and shinier than before, his lips took this adorable shape, unique and charming. He was now as adorable and huggable as his patients.
She was sure that she had seen him smile like that before. She always got a smile from him with one of her bitchy comments. But for some reason now she felt different.
So Min was stunned by his beautiful smile.
TBC
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mickeymouse-moshpit · 4 years ago
Text
Take Care
Hoo boy, I've written a second something. In my Star Wars renaissance during this pandemic, I have discovered an appreciation for medic Kix and I have very little shame about it. To those who know me in real life, I beg you to skip over this, or stop reading at the second set of asterisks. This started out as just drabble but soon turned into, how do I put this, filth. We’ve got brat-tamer!Kix and a very bratty newly employed doc reader. If you don’t want a lot of plot, skip to the second or third set of asterisks. 
Pairing: brat-tamer!Kix x fem!reader
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: pandemic themes, near death but no actual death, SMUT, some definite Dom/sub undertones, lots of oral, lots of fucking, uhhhh I think that’s it. As usual, reader has a birth control implant and everything is consensual. 
Enjoy!
You shuffled your feet as you climbed the stairs in the medical center. You were grateful to be alone, away from the hustle and interruptions of the crowded med bay and even further from the constant start and stop of the lifts. As a trainee you would use them to speed up your day, see more and learn more. But now? Now you could take the time to enjoy making your pulse race from something other than anxiety. You paused at the door to the second floor, considering popping into the lounge for a snack and some water, but thought better of it when you remembered how crowded it would be at this time of day. You kept climbing.
You had been in this maker-forsaken building for going on 36 standard hours, and weren’t sure when you would get to leave. You were the new kid on the block, taking over for the poor doc who had led the initial response to the clone illness. She would be back, but she needed rest. You were just happy to be here with a steady job and the knowledge that you could keep these men alive.
You reached the fifth floor where the isolation unit was, but also where the sleep rooms were located. You needed a minute to close your eyes and get your polarities straight. If you didn’t, mistakes would ensue, something neither you nor the unit could afford. You badged into the tiny broom closet of a room, just enough space for a cot and a desk where your data pad lived. You toed off your shoes and set your hip bag on the desk. It bumped the data pad and you sighed in relief when it lit up but didn’t show any new messages or results. Twenty-six standard minutes, that’s all you needed to refresh. You set the timer, clicked off the light and flopped onto the cot. Twenty-six minutes, that’s all; you let your eyes close.
Code blue, 5A. Code blue, 5A.
At the same time, the beeping you had already come to dread started, calling you to the isolation unit. This couldn’t be happening. You hadn’t even been here for 48 hours and already you were undoing the work Doc had done?
You grabbed your hip bag, slid on your shoes and ran. Ran for your job, ran for their lives.
You reached the doors to the unit and were met with the aide tasked with making sure everyone was properly equipped before entering the unit. He held out the white disposable coveralls, helping you step into them hastily without falling over. As you put on your shoe covers and gloves, he slipped the hood over your head, sealing out the outside air and clicking on the closed circulation. No emergencies in a pandemic.
Satisfied, he clicked open the doors and allowed you to run inside. You reached the room along with a medic you didn’t recognize and Carly, one of the nurses in the unit. The three of you waited for the medic who called the code to approach the end of his compression cycle.
“Evening everyone, my name’s Bee and I’ll be running this code according to the algorithm established by Doc. At this point, it is time to switch compressions and get meds running.”
So began the dance. The medics and nurse rotated between providing compressions to Sly and administering medications. After three changes, everyone waited with bated breath watching the monitor. One beep changed the atmosphere of the room.
“Great work team let’s place him onto his side and start cooling him down. We’ll evaluate in three and a half hours.” You stepped to the central desk to grab cool blankets. It was a miracle that his heart started beating on its own, but now it was time to ensure it would stay that way. You walked back in, spreading the towels over the clone while others hung medications and fluids. You took one last look before stepping out. “Thank you again everyone.”
You nodded at their reception of your words and made your way around the unit, checking in on the others under your care and were satisfied with their vital signs, their comfort levels. All was well again. You walked to the doffing room that connected to the exit. There was another medic there tasked with offering assistance for unsealing the suit you wore. After that was done, you didn’t need any help. You doffed the suit and hood, before getting rid of the gloves and shoe covers. You were drenched with sweat, but that was the usual these days.
Out of the unit, you made it maybe twelve steps before you started to see stars.
“Oh, not again.” You shuffled to the wall, sliding down it to avoid blacking out. You thought you had gone unnoticed, but that was not the case. The medic who had called for help was leaving the unit and saw you.
“Bee! What happened? Are you alright?”
“I’m fine
”
“Kix. My name is Kix.”
“I’m fine Kix, just a little lightheaded but nothing unusual.”
“You don’t look fine.” He knelt at your level. “Your face is grey and you’re sitting on the floor of a hospital. No one sits on the ground here if they’re fine.”
“If I tell you I’m fine, I’m fine.” You whispered without too much commitment.
“Come on, let’s get you checked out.” He stood and offered you his hand.
You stared at it for a moment, your exhaustion addled brain attempting to get your hand to cooperate. After a few too many seconds you took it and accepted the help getting back to standing, your head spinning briefly and making you squeeze your eyes shut when you made it upright. You glanced at Kix when you could open them again and nodded.
“Still think you’re fine?”
“Let’s just get this over with.” You dropped his hand and let him lead you to one of the other units that was currently running at 25 percent capacity. He led you into one of the empty rooms and pointed at the bed when you just stood there. “You have to sit so I can work and so you don’t pass out on me.”
You sighed deeply but sat down. He pulled one of the handheld scanners out of the cabinet and ran it over your forehead and thorax.
“You’re a little tachycardic and your blood pressure is a little low. When was the last time you ate or drank anything?”
You wracked your brain. You had eaten on your way to the center and had had some snacks here and there; you knew you had drank some water that morning and a cup of juice that one of the nurses had passed to you when she saw you zoning out downstairs, but that was it.
“If I say this afternoon is that good enough?”
He looked at you and raised an eyebrow.
“Considering it’s almost midnight I wouldn’t say so. But I won’t hold it against you. We only know how to take of others, not ourselves.”
“You can say that again.”
“You’ve got two options.” He locked eyes with you; apparently, he meant business. “I can give you fluids and you can sit here for an hour while they run, or I can follow you to the mess hall where you’ll eat an actual meal and drink something with electrolytes.”
You rested your face in your hands.
“What I want to do is sleep. That’s it. But if I have to pick, I guess I’ll go eat because that’ll be more permanent than fluids. Is my answer to your satisfaction?”
“Yup!” He grinned. “Let’s go.” He offered his hand again. You didn’t take it this time, just stood up and gestured in front of you.
“Lead the way.” You weren’t quite sure where the dining hall was considering you hadn’t been there yet. You could follow signs, sure, but it would be easier with someone who knew where they were going.
Much to your disdain, he led you to the lifts in the middle of the floor. The doors opened and you both stepped inside, waiting for the whoosh and dive down to the first floor. Fortunately, there was no stop and start to this trip, what with the center being empty of everyone except staff this time of night. The two of you exited and started in the general direction of the stairs. Instead of the stairwell, however, he led you down the hall to the right. You could hear some voices echoing down it but didn’t see anyone yet.
“Here we are. Now, I’ll go find a place to sit, you go and order.”
“I’m going, I’m going,” you grumbled. It was bad enough you had almost passed out but being babysat was worse. You walked through the archway and considered your options. The amount of smells mixing threatened to turn your stomach, but you quickly settled on grilled tip yip and vegetables with some rice, something that wasn’t too heavy but still had nutrients. You took it to the cooler to grab the electrolyte drink Kix insisted on and a water.
After checking out, surprised when you found out one of the benefits of the job was free meals, you found Kix and sat down across from him. You avoided his gaze and started chopping up the tip yip. Satisfied, you took a bite.
“That bad?” He smirked at the face you made.
“No, just getting back from that hungry/nauseous line isn’t pleasant.” You picked up the electrolyte drink and took a sip. “This, this is much better.”
“Good. I hope you got another to take back to the call room with you.”
“No, mom I got water because I need that too,” you quipped, rolling your eyes.
Kix just shook his head.
You worked your way through the meal, pausing to take sips of your drink, dropping your head down every time someone walked past.
“They won’t judge you, even if they know who you are.”
Your head popped up.
“I know that,” you snapped. “I just don’t want to talk to anyone when I’m being babysat.”
“We’ve already been through this! You know how to take care of everyone in this maker-forsaken building, except for yourself. That’s normal. Just accept some help! The last thing we need is someone else being put out of commission.”
“You did enough when you made me come down here. You don’t have to sit there watching me like I’m a child who’s going to run off!”
“Right. And if I did leave, did go back upstairs and take over for Zip, would you actually stay here and finish up? Or would you take off with your water and abandon everything else?” His eyes bore into yours. “Because I think you and I both know the answer to that. So, I’m going to sit here, and you’re going to sit there, and you’re going to give your body what it needs to keep going. Then and only then will we go back upstairs, where I’ll go take over for Zip and you’ll go get some sleep!”
You slammed your drink down and went to stand up.
“Make me.”
He was next to you before you could get your left leg out of the bench seat, grabbing your shoulder and shoving you back down.
“Sit. Down. And stay there.”
You glared at him and huffed out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. You slowly turned back to the table and Kix went back to his seat.
“The sooner you finish, the sooner you can go to sleep.”
The nerve of this man. You started eating again in earnest, almost done and yet with too much left on your plate. After fifteen minutes of silence, you were finally done.
“Now, do I have your permission to go up and get a nap before someone else decides they want to crash?” You couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of your voice.
“Oh of course, Bee! Just as soon as you say, ‘thank you, Kix.’”
“Go to hell.” You extracted yourself and your water from the seat and hustled to the stairs before he could respond.
***
The lilting notes of your alarm woke you gently. You sat up and grabbed the data pad, turning the alarm off and the desk lamp on. Using the data pad, you read through the latest nursing notes from the unit and were relieved to see that Sly had come off the vent again. You pulled on a pair of fresh socks from your shoulder bag and slipped on your shoes. You clipped on the hip bag headed for the unit to round.
On went the suit, helped into it by a new medic. Sign out had happened while you got some much-needed sleep. You stepped into the unit, thankful that it was calm in here again. Carly was gone, you knew this, replaced by Loren.
“How’s everyone this morning?”
“They’re all looking much better right this second. They’re actually with it today, even know they’re in the medical center and not on a cruiser,” came her hope-filled reply. You knew better than to join her, lest a repeat of yesterday be on the horizon.
“That’s good. I’m going to go see them all right quick, let them know I’m still here.” You walked to the right, starting with 5125 and working your way back. It was the same questions. Can you tell me your name? Where are we right now? What day is it? How much do you know about what’s going on? Today, they all knew the answers. Yesterday, they had known some. It wasn’t time for hope yet, but you allowed yourself to relax a little as you walked out of the unit to go chart. Or, at least you did until you recognized a now all-too-familiar head complete with high maintenance haircut and tattoo walking straight toward you. You groaned internally.
“I thought you would be gone by now,” you said, both as polite conversation and out of curiosity.
“Oh no, I’m here until tonight. Perks of floating. Plus, it means I get to keep an eye on you until Doc gets back.”
“Wait, Doc’s coming back? I thought she was off for the whole week?” You barely managed to keep the panic out of your voice. She had told you to hold down the fort, had trusted you with her unit. Now she was coming back early.
“Oh yeah. She heard what happened yesterday and thought it was time to come back and sure everyone is stable.”
You were so fired.
***
You weren’t fired. Doc only wanted to spend 12 hours on sifting through data collected over the two days she had been gone and see about optimizing some treatments and protocols. She insisted you go home and get some sleep, and when you came back, she would brief you on any changes before going back on vacation.
When you got back to the center, you climbed the stairs to the seventh floor where Doc’s office was, hoping she would have some good news.
“Knock, knock,” you quipped.
“Bee! Great you’re here. I didn’t do much while you were gone, changed up some formulations and adjusted post-resuscitation protocols, but other than that nothing has changed.” Her face grew serious. “You know those two codes weren’t your fault, right? They’re the sickest of the sick, if we can get them back it’s a miracle and you did just that. Don’t deprive yourself just because you think it’ll make up for anything,” she said knowingly.
“He told you?”
“Oh yeah. If I hear about you trying to pass out again, then we’ll have to have a more serious talk about what the expectations are for your health. Don’t let it happen again. Now, are you ready to take over or do you need to hear more details about overnight?”
“No I can read over the changes and get started.”
“Great.”
You left the room, pulling the door to behind you. Your data pad binged at you.
Office ready. 5th floor. Room 14.
You went for the stairs and jogged down them, careful of your footing. When you reached the fifth floor, you turned to the left instead of toward the unit, looking for your new office. You finally found it and scanned your badge at the reader. The fingerprint reader popped out and you placed the pad of your index finger on it.
Access granted.
The door unlocked at the same time the stairwell door opened and closed.
“Bee! Long time no see. Sleep well?”
You groaned in frustration.
“Yeah, it was nice not being fussed at incessantly. Thanks for snitching by the way.” You pushed the door open.
“You’re welcome.” He was proud of himself.
“Where do you get off doing that? I had it under control!”
“No, you didn’t. How many times are we going to have to go through this? All I did was make sure that if someone else coded it wasn’t going to be you.” He reached you then, leaning against the wall. Did he think you were going to invite him in?
“Just shut up.”
“Make me.”
You grabbed him by the shirt collar and dragged him into the office, clicking on the light as you went and kicking the door shut. If you ended up killing him, you didn’t want witnesses. You let go of his shirt and put your forearm across his chest, pressing him into the door.
“I had one moment where all I needed was to get myself together that you just so happened to witness. That does not give you permission to make yourself my keeper!”
“No.” He grabbed your wrist and pulled your arm off his chest but didn’t let go. “What you did was sit on the floor of a medical center because you were so close to passing out. People who just ‘need a minute’ usually make it to the call rooms before sitting down.”
“It still doesn’t mean I need someone to constantly be checking on me.” You snatched your hand away. “I’ve got this office now which means I can keep all the supplies I need to not have it happen again.”
“I don’t believe you.” He stepped away from the door slightly.
“Oh yeah?” You gave him a small shove to put him back. “I made it this far without having someone take care of me. I didn’t even have roommates at the academy, to say nothing of living in a broom closet of an apartment while I was in the last years of my training.” You put a hand against his chest, holding him against the door, not wanting him coming any further into this space that was supposed to be your haven.
“That’s not normal! People aren’t supposed to be isolated; you know this!”
“It’s normal enough for me! It keeps me sane when everything seems like it’s falling apart!”
Something snapped. He closed the distance between you, lips landing on yours. You stepped back with a shove to his chest, chest heaving. He grabbed you by the shoulders, spinning and pushing you into the wall. You clutched onto his biceps and sought out his mouth with your own. He got impossibly closer, the kiss all teeth clacking and tongues sliding over each other. You tried to grind against him, but he grabbed your jaw with one hand, and your hip with the other, holding you still.
You growled low in your throat in frustration and broke the kiss, nipping at the corner of his jaw and grabbing the loops on his pants. You pushed him back again, making some space just as a knock sounded at the door.
“Get under the desk,” you whispered. “Coming!”
He looked at you incredulously.
“I said. Get. Under. The. Desk.” You whispered through gritted teeth. By some miracle, he complied as you went to the door and opened it. “What’s up, Zip?”
“I was wondering if we could go over the changes Doc made to the unit protocols. I was running late and missed sign out.”
“Sure! Take a seat, there aren’t many, but we may as well use the office instead of getting suited up.” You walked over and sat in your new desk chair, all padded foam and no arm rests to remind you to keep good biomechanics. It was almost perfect, except that you had a seething clone medic under your desk, so it was impossible to sit the way you were supposed to. Instead, you sat with your legs tucked under you and pulled yourself closer to the desk. “The only major changes are to the fluids and timing of their blood pressure meds. We’re doing a different ratio of saline to dextrose and giving them pressors sooner rather than later.”
“Oh, that’s it?”
“Yup!” you replied brightly. “So, in about thirty minutes they’ll all be ready for another dose of them. I’m going to work on notes for them and then come see them again.”
“Oh, sorry to have bothered you. I didn’t realize they were so simple but didn’t want to screw up today.” “It’s no bother at all. I’m always happy to chat.”
“I’m going to go up then, get some of the fluids mixed up just in case. You can’t be too careful, ya know?”
“I completely understand.” You pushed back and stood up when Zip did. “If you have any questions, call, come down, shoot me a message, anything.” You walked him over the door and opened it, smiling.
“Thanks again, Bee. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem, Zip. No problem at all.” You pushed the door shut, exhaling deeply. You hadn’t been caught, but it was entirely too close for you. You turned around as Kix was crawling out from under the desk, probably seeing red if his face was any indication.
“I didn’t need to be under there, you know. You could have just said you were going over the protocols with me.”
“I could have, but you’ve been here all morning. This was also way more fun.” You smirked.
He was grabbing you by the hips, leading you back to the wall, but you side stepped and spun him around.
“Not here. Not in my workplace.” Your eyes didn’t leave his. “As much as I would like to, lives are at stake here and I need to get my charting done.”
“Okay.” He looked crestfallen, but he was nodding. “I understand. When you get some time off though?”
“Just like a man, thinking with his dick. Yes, when I get some time off, but I have no idea when that will be. We’re in the middle of a crisis and I won’t have backup until Doc gets back.”
“Okay, I’ll leave now. Let me know if you need anything.” He left without looking back.
You went and sank into your chair. You weren’t quite sure what had just happened, what you had just agreed to, but you couldn’t think about that right now. You had work to do, and work you did. Three hours later, you were finishing up your last note, having to update plans for all the patients in the unit. You were almost done when an alert popped up on your data pad.
New provider from med bay on the Resilience. Arriving tonight.
Just your luck.
***
You stepped out of the unit, thankful you were getting a reprieve, but worried that you were shirking your responsibilities by taking the three days off the new provider was going to cover until Doc got back and the three of you could start pulling 24 standard hour shifts instead of days on end. You walked down the silent hall to your office, resigned to packing up your shoulder bag and going home. You did and didn’t hope Kix would show up again. Your door had almost shut when it caught on something. There he was.
“Hey, heard you and Doc have some more help. Maybe now you all won’t be killing yourselves trying to keep everyone alive,” he quipped.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel guilty enough over how relieved I am without you making it worse.”
“No, I really do think it’s a good thing. You get to go home and have some time off, maybe I get to go with you?” He was bold, no one need ever doubt that.
“And why would I let you into my home? I barely know you.”
“Fair enough, let’s go get dinner and you can ask anything you want. But you have to answer the same questions.”
“No need. I know where you work.”
He laughed.
“That you do. Take your time packing up, I’ll meet you downstairs after I sign out to night float.” He was gone again.
You shook your head. What had you gotten yourself into?
You changed out of your scrubs and into the jumpsuit you had arrived in, quite content to not bring the med center’s clothes home with you. You threw the scrubs into the laundry bag and slipped the data pad into your shoulder bag. Your hip bag would stay here. You clicked out the light, made sure the door locked behind you and headed for the stairs.
Down and down you went, careful not to slip but hurrying just a bit. Whether it was anxiety or excitement that made you move with a purpose, you weren’t sure. When you popped out into the main lobby, you glanced around and found Kix, but didn’t call attention to yourself. You just slowed down to make sure he saw you and followed you out. No one here needed to know.
You walked to the shuttle stop without looking behind you, confident he would have seen you. He did.
“The hospital scrubs really are a sin, ya know,” he whispered in your ear.
“Yeah, yeah, shush.” You had made it this far without getting caught, the last thing you needed was the shuttle ride to your speeder doing it. You both stepped onto the craft, grasping the overhead bars. You rode in uncomfortable silence, hyper aware that he was just a little too far in your personal space for it to be overlooked by strangers. Thankfully, no one else got on so it was just the droid pilot. “Lot 6 please.” The droid gave no acknowledgement but closed the doors and ferried you to where your speeder was parked.
When you stepped off, yours was the only one left. It wasn’t the nicest transport, but it was zippy and got the job done.
“Nice ride.” You couldn’t detect any sarcasm.
“Thanks, it gets me where I need to go.” You hopped over the side into the driver’s seat, Kix making his way to the passenger side. Once he was in, you started it up and pulled out of the lot.
It wasn’t a long way to your apartment, but the tension that returned when he brushed your thigh accidentally-on-purpose made it feel like it was never ending. At your apartment, you parked and the two of you moved maybe too fast to be inconspicuous to passers-by, but at this point you didn’t really care. You were away from work, and no one in this district knew you. He could wrap one arm around your waist and squeeze your hip while you waited for the lift and no one would have reason to question it. So, he did. And you let him. Maybe you even wiggled a little to encourage him.
When you got in the lift, he didn’t let go all the way, just rested his hand as the lift moved up to the fourteenth story where you lived. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him for fear you wouldn’t make it to the apartment. The doors weren’t all the way open when you were rushing down the hall for the door, Kix behind you again. As you dug out your key and got it in the door, hands starting to shake, he wrapped both arms around your waist and brought his mouth to your neck, planting sloppy kisses and making you suck in a sharp breath as you got in unlocked and open.
You stepped through and spun around as he nudged the door shut with his foot. You brought your mouth up to his as you clicked the door locked behind him. It was like the kiss earlier, teeth and tongues and grabbing onto each other, but this time when you nipped his jaw you kissed the spot and soothed it with your tongue, causing him to let out a low groan. As you both moved further into the space, you reached behind you to unzip but gripped your wrist before you could do it.
“Turn around,” he rasped. You complied and he let the zip down gently, holding you steady as you stepped out of it. He unclasped your bra, and you tossed it away from you. You tried to walk toward your bedroom, but he gripped your wrist and pulled you to him again. He captured you in a bruising kiss, gloved hands gripping at your ass. You wanted him undressed too, but his armor was still in the way and you weren’t sure how to get it off.
“Ta-take this off,” you panted, tapping on his chest plate. You took a half step back and watched in amazement as he made quick work of the plates, shucking them and his gloves quickly until he was only in his blacks. You stepped close again, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and tugging it up over his head. It dropped somewhere behind him, and you grabbed his hand, leading him where you really to be. You almost made it too, before he pushed you against the door frame, nipping and licking at your throat. He held you in place with a hand on one of your hips, the other hand palming your breast as he worked his mouth lower. He took the other nipple in his mouth, nibbling and sucking, eliciting a high-pitched moan from you.
“You like that?” He snickered. “I think I know what you’ll like even better.” He dropped down, mouthing over your stomach and down to your underwear seam, bringing the hand from your breast down to provide some pressure, causing your hips to buck as much as they could with him still holding you in place.
“Please, Kix, keep going.” Your breathless moans were getting a little more desperate as he got closer to where you really wanted him.
“Oh, someone drops the attitude when they want to come, that’s good to know.”
You groaned in frustration when he stopped moving again and pushed at his shoulders, giving you enough just space to get from under his hands and into the room.
“Get on the bed. Now.” You meant business, and hoped you sounded like it, but you weren’t sure given how out of breath you were.
“Fine.” Oh good, he was too.
Kix walked over to the edge of the bed, gripping the top of his pants and starting to pull them down.
“Ah, ah, ah.” You sidled up to him and grabbed his wrists, pulling them away just a bit. “Not yet. Lay down. Eyes on me, hands by your side.”
He nodded, and did as he was told, glowering at you the whole time.
“Now, that’s better.” You eased your panties down slowly, not a whole lot to work with in terms of teasing him, but it would do. He eyes were glued to your hands as you slid them over your feet one at a time, setting them down by his head. “I said eyes on me.”
He rolled his eyes but looked back at you.
“Something to say?”
“Oh no, just hoping you’re enjoying this while you can.”
“Is that a threat?”
“Oh no, honeybee it’s a promise.”
You hummed nonchalantly in response, but your walls were fluttering, nonetheless. You climbed up on the bed and straddled him. You considered him for a moment, before deciding to put him out of his misery. You ground your hips down on him once, causing you both to moan in unison at the contact. You pulled down on the top of his pants, erection springing free. You leaned over and licked a stripe up his cock, pulling wanton noises out of him. You tapped on his ankle so he would open up and you could lay down between his legs.
You took him in hand and lapped softly at his glans. When you took him further into your mouth, he fisted a hand in your hair, trying to tug you down onto him. You pulled all the way off and tsked at him.
“I thought I said no touching.” He started to protest but you cut him off. “No. I’ll tell you when you can touch me.”
His hand flopped back onto the bed in defeat. You resumed your ministrations, licking over his whole cock before taking him into your mouth again. This time he didn’t move, just groaned lowly. You brought a hand up to cup his balls gently, and he made a broken sound. You bobbed your head faster, bringing your other hand down to run your nails over his inner thighs and the space behind his balls in slow circles. You were fairly certain you had him on the edge when his hips surged up under you, but instead of forcing him further into your throat it knocked you off him entirely. You were just shocked enough that he was able to sit up, flip you over, and pin you to the bed.
“You think you’re funny? Being such a fucking tease?” he growled in your ear. He had himself propped up over you with one hand, the other working quickly over his cock. “I’m going to ruin you.”
You keened at that, squirming under him as he sat back on his heels, pressing one hand into your chest while his other kept working. He hissed through his teeth as he finished, ropes of come landing on your stomach. He ran three fingers through it, scooping it up. He brought them up to your mouth.
“Open.”
You shook your head.
“I said. Open.” His voice was dangerously low.
You pursed your lips and shook your head again.
“Fine.” He smeared his fingers over the lower half of your face. Your tongue flitted out to lick his come off your lips, your eyes not leaving his. “You filthy brat.”
You just quirked an eyebrow at him, egging him on.
“We’ll see if you still have an attitude when I’m done with you.” He pushed your legs apart, kneeling between them. He ran a finger up your lips, making them part and exposing your anatomy to him. “Oh, but you’re so wet. Only good girls get to come, you think you’ve been good for me?”
“Please, I can be so good for you.” “You weren’t being very good earlier.”
“I can make up for it, just please please touch me.”
“Since you asked so nicely
” He leaned down and went to work. He licked flat, wet stripes over your clit before swirling and lapping at your vestibule. You let out a moan and he went back to your clit, now planting filthy kisses on it on it in earnest as one finger entered you easily, followed by a second. “You’re soaked, honeybee. Is this all for me?”
“A-all for you,” You panted out. “Fuck you feel so good.”
“You’re so eager for me to take care of you. Where was all this enthusiasm earlier this week? Hmm? Not too good to ask for help when you want to come, but not willing to actually take care of yourself.” He licked another flat stripe from your vestibule to your mound, nipping at the soft flesh there. He kept pumping his fingers in and out, adjusting his angle, looking for that one spot but not quite finding it yet.
“Ah, please don’t stop, Kix!” You were desperate, and you didn’t care.
“Hmm
 go ahead, Bee. Come for me.” You let go, clenching around his fingers. He kept licking at your clit, to the point that it was almost painful.
“Ahh, it’s too much, Kix.”
“Oh no, I think a good girl like you can take more, what do you think?” He pulled his fingers out and started lapping at your vestibule, licking up the wetness that seeped out. With the attention off your clit, you nodded. “What’s that?”
“Yes. I can.” Your voice was as breathless as you felt.
“Good girl.” He slipped his fingers back into you, seeking out your G-spot but finding it this time.
“Hooooo fuck! Ohh do that again.”
“Ask nicely.”
“Fuck! Please Kix do that again!”
“Atta girl.” He skated his fingers over it again and again, bringing his tongue back to your clit, licking and sucking like a man possessed. You couldn’t stop the mewling that came out of your mouth, the stimulation both too much and just enough. “Come. Right now.”
You were fairly certain the neighbors above and below could hear the wail that left you when you came again, vision whiting out and tears leaking out.
“There we go, now I think you’re ready.”
“Re-ready for what?” You didn’t have a voice at this point, just a desperate whisper.
“Ready for my cock, duh.” You looked away from his eyes and saw his hard-again cock in his hand. Your lips parted. “That’s what I thought.”
He dragged the tip up your lips, covering himself in your wetness.
“Wait, I have a better idea,” he said quietly, whether he meant for you to respond or not, you weren’t sure. “Based on where you were screaming for me, you need to turn over.”
You blinked at him a few times and quirked an eyebrow at him, then sat up to turn over.
“Hands and knees.” You complied, a little too entranced to say anything. He ran a hand over your hip, smacking your ass lightly. “Perfect.”
He gathered some more wetness, spread it over himself, then slid the head of his cock between your lips. He paused for a moment before sliding the rest of the way in. You groaned quietly.
“Let me hear you, honeybee. Let me hear how well I can take care of you.” He pulled halfway out, head dragging over your G-spot.
“Fuck, Kix!”
“That’s it.” He pulled almost all the way out before easing back into you, making you whimper with the slow pace.
“More,” you whispered.
“What was that?”
“More, please,” you asked with a little more volume.
“Whatever you want.” He sped up, quickening his thrusts and fisting his hand in your hair. He gripped you under the shoulder and pulled you up flush against him, changing the angle but still skating over that same spot with every thrust. You couldn’t stop the moans spilling out of you. He fucked up into you, biting at your shoulder, groaning into your shoulder. “Touch yourself.”
You didn’t hesitate to comply, reaching down to rub quick circles around your clit, positively mewling at the feeling of him everywhere. He removed the hand from your shoulder and pressed between your shoulder blades, pushing your face into the mattress while he continued to fuck you relentlessly.
“If you’re going to come again, do it now.” He didn’t have to tell you twice. Your walls clamped down around him as you came again, more tears spilling down your face with how overstimulated you really were. You were cognizant of him pulling out and spilling on your back, but barely.
You felt the bed shift as he got out, but he was only gone for a moment, back with some wet cloths and matching dry ones. He cleaned your back before helping you turn over and cleaning your stomach. He took a second one and softly dabbed at your face.
“What do you need, honeybee?”
“Mm, some water would be nice. Maybe a blanket?”
He left again, and you heard him puttering in the kitchen putting ice and water into a glass. When he came back, you saw that he had found where you kept reusable straws. He also had your favorite blanket that lived on the couch.
You sat up and tried to accept the glass, but your hands were shaking a bit.
“Here.” He held the straw up to your lips and you took it, gladly sipping.
“Thank you,” you said quietly as he put the glass down, climbed back in the bed and covered the two of you with the blanket.
“No thanks needed, just listen when I tell you that you need to take care of yourself next time.” You just laughed softly, curling yourself into his side. 
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Tagging just a few people who left a lot of love on the first story I actually posted, thanks for your support, I wouldn’t have been brave enough to post this otherwise. @catsnkooks @nelba @cherry-cokes-world @000ayfh 
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thebluesideofmyworld · 5 years ago
Text
House Key - A Solangelo One-Shot
Summary: Nico moved into a new apartment. Will helped him settle down in the new place. And deep down inside, Will wanted to make the apartment a home for Nico.
Word Count: 3200 | Read on AO3
***
My contribution to @solangeloweek for the Solangelo Spring Ball 2020. My date for the event is @pjozz​ who has created TWO gorgeous moodboard for this fic (moodboard 1| moodboard 2) (go check her blog, she makes awesome stuff!)
Author’s Notes: - A gazillion thanks for the wonderful Eaf who has helped me to beta this work. - Based on the song House Key by Scott Helman. Title is also from that song.
***
“This is the last one,” Will said as he put the box that he was carrying down on the floor. He stood up, straightened his back and looked around. A few feet away from him, Nico was sitting on the floor, taking some stuff out from one of the boxes.
Nico snorted. “You said that as if I had hundreds of boxes.”
“I can’t believe that you could pack your whole life in just a few boxes,” Will sighed. He made his way to the couch and threw himself there. It wasn’t exactly new. The brown couch was a hand-down from Piper, but it was comfortable enough. Will shifted, half-laying on the couch with his back against the armrest.
“Come here and give me a hug, babe,” Will called out to Nico. Nico turned his head to look at Will. He rolled his eyes but as Will widely opened his arms, there was a small fond smile on his lips. Nico stood up and made a beeline to come to Will. He lay down on the couch and snuggled up against Will. Will started playing with the soft dark strands of Nico’s hair.
“How are you feeling, love? Excited?”
Nico hummed his answer. “I can’t believe I finally have my own place.”
“Well, you practically had Cabin 13 to yourself
”
Nico huffed. “Yeah. But it’s different, you know?”
Will smiled and kissed the top of Nico’s head. He hummed and let Nico continue.
“This is the first time I’m, like
deciding everything by myself. Like, really owning something for myself.”
“And how do you feel about it?”
Nico huffed. It took a moment before he answered, like he was considering his answers. “Excited. Scared. Nervous. Happy,” he shrugged his shoulders. “All at the same time. I feel like I am still too young to do this, but at the same time I also feel like, hey, I am a real adult now.”
“Oh, wow. I can’t believe that the Ghost King could have so many emotions at once,” Will teased.
Nico groaned and punched Will on the shoulder. Will laughed and caught Nico’s wrist. He brought Nico’s hand to his lips, and kissed the knuckles.
“You’ll be fine, darling,” Will said. “It’s not going to be easy. Living in your apartment, doing your classes, but you’ll be fine.”
Last year Nico managed to earn his GED certificate, and then he decided to do a degree in Social Work. For now, he was still doing it part-time, as he was still doing some errands for Hades. And when it was possible, he opted for classes that he could take online. Will knew that Nico still needed some time to adapt to the way formal education worked. Will himself was already in his third year of his undergrad when Nico started doing the degree. Will was doing Biochemistry and going for a pre-med track. Classes were hard, but Will enjoyed doing it, as he had always wanted to be a doctor. And he was glad to see that Nico seemed to be really interested in the field that he was studying now.
Nico hummed. “Anyway, what time is it now?” Nico asked as he moved, trying to find a more comfortable position against Will’s chest.
Will shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. Late, I guess?”
Nico stayed quiet for a moment. But then he asked another question.
“Do you
have to go back to your dorm now?”
With Nico’s warm cheek against his chest, Will couldn’t see Nico’s expression. But the years that they had spent together made it easy for him to recognize the hesitation that laced Nico’s voice.
Will rubbed Nico’s arm. “I don’t have any classes anyway tomorrow.”
“Oh?”
Will hummed. “And it’s already too cold for me to go outside now.”
Nico shifted so now he faced Will. “It’s not that cold, Will,” he said. But there was a look of relief in his eyes. Will chuckled, and flipped Nico’s nose.
“It is,” he said. “And to be honest, I don’t think I want to leave you alone right now. It looks like you need some warmth to help you getting through your first night in this apartment.”
Nico opened his mouth, like he was about to say something. But Will put his finger over his lips, stopping him from saying anything.
“I’ll stay for the night. I am pretty sure that if I go back to my dorm, I will end up calling you anyway, making sure that everything’s okay with you.”
There was a small smile on Nico’s lips. “Thanks, Will,” he whispered. Will smiled back, and leaned down to kiss Nico’s forehead.
One day, Will thought. One day, the only place where I have to go back to, will be to where Nico is.
***
“I’m coming!”
Will smiled unconsciously when he heard Nico’s voice, followed by the sound of footsteps coming. Then the door swung open, revealing Nico, reading glasses perched over his nose. Will’s smile turned into a grin.
“Will?”
Nico looked a bit surprised as he took off his glasses, and put it on the top of his head. “Hey! I didn’t know you were coming!”
“I got something for you.”
Nico’s eyes widened. “What?”
Instead of answering, Will pulled down the zipper of his jacket, revealing a gray kitten who was comfortably snuggling against him with its eyes closed.
“Here. Take it,” Will said as he half-shoved the cat to Nico. Nico looked dazed, a bit clueless, but he took the small cat anyway and cradled it gently in his arms. The cat opened its eyes and stared at Nico sleepily. The cat purred and appeared to decide that Nico’s hands were as warm as Will’s jacket, as it closed its eyes again. Will watched the expression on Nico’s face change from confusion, to caution, until it turned into amazement along with fondness as the kitten snuggled against his chest.
“I think the cat likes you,” Will said, smiling warmly.
Nico hummed. He lifted the cat up a little and nuzzled its head gently. He earned a soft purr from the cat that made him chuckle.
“Does he have a name?” Nico asked, looking at Will questioningly.
“Shakespeare,” Will answered as he let himself in. He closed the door behind him.
Nico snorted. “That’s a terrible name for a cat,” Nico said as he walked to the living room area. Will was trailing behind him.
“Better than Valdezinator, though.” Will said. Nico let out a small laugh at that.
“Yeah, I can’t argue with that,” he said. He sat down on the couch. He petted the cat gently, smiling as the cat stretched and yawned on his lap. Will took a seat next to Nico on the couch. He looked around at the papers and notebooks that were scattered over the coffee table. Nico’s laptop was open, showing a Word document on its screen.
“What were you doing?” Will asked
“A paper. Assignment for my Cultural Diversity and Justice class.”
Will whistled. “Sounds interesting, babe. But the most important question is, have you eaten anything yet?”
Nico gently put the kitten on the carpet, right next to the couch. He brought his glasses back down to his nose and took his laptop from the coffee table.
“Well?”
Nico shrugged his shoulders. “I had some yogurt.”
“And when was that?”
It took a while before Nico answered. “Like
at noon?”
Will groaned. It was almost seven in the evening. “You’ve promised me you’re going to eat more.”
“The due date for this paper is this Friday, Will.”
“Which is still, like
 three days from now!”
Nico huffed. “I want to finish it now.”
Will sighed, but then he stood up. He ruffled Nico’s hair, then bowed down a little to kiss the crown of Nico’s head.
“Stay here,” he said. “I’ll whip something up for you so you don’t starve.”
Between the two of them, Nico was surely the better cook. In fact, Nico often said that cooking was one of the things he considered a part of his Italian heritage. But in times like this, when Nico was too absorbed in something that he was doing, it was Will who would make sure that Nico ate something, even if it meant that Will had to do the cooking. Not that Will was bad at cooking, though. His cooking was decent enough to be edible, thank you very much.
Nico mumbled something about not being hungry, but Will still made his way to the kitchen anyway. He was just about three steps away from the couch when Nico called him.
“Hey, Will?”
“Hmm?” Will turned to look at Nico.
Nico brushed some strands of his hair away from his forehead when he lifted his head up to look at Will. “You left your guitar here. I put it in the bedroom.”
“Oh! Yeah, right! It’s okay, you can keep it here,” Will said.
Nico rolled his eyes. He looked down again at his laptop. “The next time you leave your things here, at least put them where they won’t block the way. I tripped on that stupid guitar last night.”
Will grinned. “You know you love the guitar, darl.”
(And Will loved it when Nico played the guitar. Which wasn’t new or surprising. Will loved everything that Nico did anyway.)
An hour later, they had some honey garlic chicken for dinner, where Nico exclaimed that he wasn’t sure that Shakespeare could sleep well in a new place with a total stranger. So, of course, Will decided that yeah, he could stay for the night.
Later that night, Will managed to drag Nico to bed before midnight. But before they went to bed, they spent 10 minutes creating a makeshift bed for Shakespeare from a box and some old blankets. Now Shakespeare was sleeping peacefully in it, while Nico and Will lay down side by side on Nico’s bed.
“I still can’t believe you got me a kitten.”
Will shrugged, and started playing with Nico’s hair. He loved feeling the silky strands on his fingers. “I think it will be nice to have a cat here. To make this place feel more like home for you.”
Nico stayed quiet for a while. He drew some small circles on Will’s chest with his index finger. In the dim light of the night lamp, Will could see the contemplative look on Nico’s expression.
“What are you thinking, darling?”
Nico stretched his lips into a thin line for a second.
“What about you, Will? Do you feel like this place, this apartment
 Do you feel like it’s home for you?”
Will smiled softly, and leaned to place a gentle kiss on Nico’s forehead.
“Wherever you are, is where it feels like home for me.”
***
Nico di Angelo was gorgeous.
Not that Will wasn’t aware of that fact before. But it was the first thing that crossed Will’s mind when Nico swung the door open for him that evening.
“Will! Happy birthday!” Nico exclaimed, and tiptoed just a bit so he could peck Will’s lips.
“Thanks,” Will said, still a bit dazed to see Nico. Will stood still for a second, staring at Nico. “Wow,” he said. “You look really nice.”
Nico’s usual attire was dark-colored shirts, sometimes with printed graphics on it. If the weather was cold, he went for hoodies.
(And if half of the ones that Nico usually wore were actually Will’s
well, Will had no problem with it, at all.)
But this evening, Nico was wearing a navy blue button-up shirt. He’d rolled the sleeves up to his elbows. And instead of hanging loosely on his body, this shirt actually fit him, showing his lean muscle.
Nico rolled his eyes, feigning annoyance. But the soft blush on his cheeks betrayed it. Will stepped in, and Nico closed the door behind him.
“Are we going somewhere?” Will asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the shirt that he was wearing. Sure, it was a clean and quite decent shirt. But compared to how his boyfriend looked now

“What? No. I’ve told you, I’ll cook dinner for you.”
“Yeah, but
you’re dressed up. Like you’re going somewhere nice. Like there’s something special.”
Nico rolled his eyes again, but then he smiled shyly at Will. “Of course it’s special. It’s your birthday.” He kissed Will’s cheek. “You are special, tesoro.”
Will’s heart suddenly felt too big for his chest.
“Oh,” he said, wanting to say something to that but couldn’t really find the words. “Okay,” he said, and let Nico take his hand.
“Come on,” Nico said, pulling Will along with him to the kitchen area. Then Will saw the dining table.
Oh.
The small table was set up for two people. The table was covered with a dark red tablecloth. A small but elegant bouquet of red roses and white carnations was on the table. And there were candles!
(Okay so Will was a sucker for aromatic candles so what?)
Nico turned around, and looked up at Will. There was a mixed look of hope and hesitation in his eyes. “So, do you like it?”
Will stared at Nico’s dark eyes. “You
did this for me?”
Nico hummed softly as he nodded. “It’s your birthday.”
Something inside Will melted like warm honey. He wrapped his arms around Nico and pulled him into a tight embrace. He kissed the top of Nico’s head.
“Thank you, darling,” he whispered. “I love it.”
Nico pulled away just a little. When he looked up at Will, his eyes sparkling like the stars were trapped behind them. “Anything for you, tesoro.”
“Now,” Nico said, and took Will’s hand again to lead him to the table. “I have spent the whole afternoon preparing a three-course dinner that deserves a Michelin star. So have a seat and don’t make my cooking go to waste.”
Will chuckled as he sat down. “You know, you can still change your major to culinary or something
”
Nico hummed as he walked to the kitchen counter. He walked back to the table, holding two plates.
“Yeah, that’s something that I can consider as my alternative career, I guess
” he said as he put down one of the plates in front of Will. “But for now, you have the honor to be the one who tastes my marvelous cooking.”
Will let out a small laugh. “As you said, I am honored,” he said. He took his fork and knife, and started eating.
Nico was serious about the three-course meal. They started with some delightfully tasty anchovy crostini for the appetizer. The main course was risotto with shrimp and peas, wonderfully seasoned with saffron. To end the dinner, they had some tiramisu, that for Will was something to die for.
Will already knew that Nico was good at cooking. But to know how Nico really took some time to prepare everything for his birthday
It was just something that made Will’s heart fill with warmth. Sometimes he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to have Nico. Sometimes he just couldn’t believe that Nico, the boy that he loved, loved him back.
“So,” Will said, leaning back on his chair with a full stomach. “What’s next?”
Nico hummed as he took the empty plates. He put them on the sink, then sat back across from Will. He lifted his glass and sipped his wine before he asked Will back. “What do you think?”
Will shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. But watching Queer Eye while cuddling sounds like a really good idea.”
“It is. But don’t you want to get your birthday gift?”
Will’s eyes widened. “What? But I thought this dinner was already your gift for me.”
Nico’s eyes were soft as he smiled at Will. “You can say so, but I still have a gift for you.”
Nico stood up, and Will watched him as he walked to the cabinets. Nico opened one of the cabinets, the one that he dedicated to storing different kinds of pasta (he once spent a good half an hour teaching Will the differences between each type). He took something out from it and walked back to Will.
“I hope you like it,” Nico said as he gave a small black box to Will. A thin gold-colored ribbon was tied into a bow on the top of the box, holding the lid of the box in place.
Will took the box. It’s small, but too big for a ring box.
(Not that he was thinking of engagement rings, of course, or thinking about being proposed to. Nope. Not at all.)
(Yeah, he already had this jar where he saved some money that he  had planned to spend on a decent pair of rings but, no, of course he wasn’t thinking of it at all.)
He lifted his head up, looking at Nico that was already sitting back in front of him. Nico looked a bit nervous.
“Can I open it?” Will asked.
Nico nodded. “Go ahead.”
Will untied the ribbon and opened the lid. He gasped a little when he saw what was in the box.
A key was in the box, along with a round black key chain. Will carefully picked the key up and studied the key chain. On one side, an intricate sun was engraved on it, while a lyre was beautifully engraved on the other side.
“It’s Stygian iron. The key chain,” Nico said.
Will lifted his head up. “Is it
the key
?”
Nico gave him a single nod. “It’s the key to this apartment.”
“And you’re giving it to me. As a birthday gift.”
Will looked at the key in his hand again. Feeling strangely breathless.
“Well,” Nico said, and paused to clear his throat. “I mean
 I like it. When you spend the time here. Or when you stay for the night. And... Yeah. This is just
a small apartment. But when you’re here, it feels like home.”
Will held the key tightly, something warm and sweet running through his veins.
“Thank you,” he said to Nico, voice cracking a bit with emotion.
“And. Uhm.” Nico paused to clear his throat again. “Well. I was just
thinking. You
we have like
four weeks more before the Spring semester ends? So. You’ll start your last year in college this year. I was thinking
”
Nico stopped, and he took a deep breath. Will watched him. His heartbeat doubled while he was waiting for Nico to continue.
“So. Will. I was thinking. What do you think of moving in? To this apartment?” Nico asked, holding his eyes at Will.
Will’s face broke into a wide smile as happiness glowed inside his chest. “Oh, Death Boy
”
Nico closed his eyes as he groaned. He opened his eyes and shook his head. “Nope. Never mind. Forget that I ever asked.”
Will grinned as he lifted the key up, showing it to Nico. “Sorry. It’s too late. I already have the key.”
Nico huffed. But then he smiled shyly. “So, I take it as a yes?”
Will leaned forward, and took Nico’s hand to hold it. “Of course it’s a yes, Nico. I’ll move in with you. We’ll make this apartment a home for us together.”
***
Notes: 1. Thank you for reading. Any feedbacks are always welcomed :) 2. Check out other works submitted to @solangeloweek. All of them are wonderful
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divine-noire · 5 years ago
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Mononucleosis Awareness Post
So I caught Mono participating in Hot Girl Summerℱ (jk jk lmao) but I did get Mono, and this shit is not a fucking joke. If you feel like you might have it, please go to the doctor. Over the past 4 weeks, I have been going through literal medical hell from complications. I’m gonna list the symptoms I’ve had and if you feel like you might have it, go get looked at. I thought Mono was something only horny ass teens got in high school playing spin the bottle, I’m 26 (27 next month) and was NOT expecting this shit at all.
Fatigue
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My first symptom that something was wrong was fatigue. This is not normal, everyday fatigue. This is actually waking up and feeling like the world is ending when you take your first step, fatigue. I couldn’t keep my eyes open. While driving, I put my emergency break on at red lights because I was afraid I would fall asleep while at the standstill. At work, if there were no calls, my head was down (luckily, my boss is only here twice a week so I could get away with this). At home, I was in bed by 6PM and when you do sleep, it’s immediate. There is no gradual lulling off to sleep. It’s face-meet-pillow-meet-morning-alarm type of sleep. But I was still tired no matter how much I slept so I started using No Doze to counteract the effects. At first, it was fine, but even then, I still had the underlying fatigue. It got so bad, I drove over a friend’s house in Greenbelt, MD which is about an hour and a half away with rush hour traffic, using every bit of energy I had in my body to get to her, because she said she would take care of me, which she did. But by the time I pulled up to her house, I basically almost fell out of the driver side door when she opened it for me. That is not an exaggeration, that is the level of exhaustion I felt from just driving that far without sleeping. We thought I had the flu or something flu-like, so she gave me fluids and alot of Day & NightQuil. It made the symptoms lessen, but it never made them go away.
Sore Throat
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At the beginning, my throat merely felt scratchy. This lasted for about 3 days, before I knew it, my voice was gone and my throat was in so much pain I gave up talking. The pain is not akin to Strep Throat, if you’ve had that before. It is actually worse. My throat was swollen as a symptom of the virus, but it graduated into its own infection of severe Tonsillitis. It was so severe that I actually began having trouble swallowing from the amount of swelling that it caused. I had to receive a steroid injection in my butt to counteract the swelling and start methylprednisone (which wasn’t strong enough and I had to go back for regular prednisone 20mg). I couldn’t eat anything without pain, so I stuck to drinking a lot of fluids and ice water. Ice water became my guardian angel because my throat was in a constant state of burning pain. I also grew exodus on the back of my throat, past my tonsils, as a result of the infection in my throat, and had to gargle salt water like crazy everyday to get them out. The exodus hurts, it is hard and feels like cement on the back of your throat and it makes the Tonsillitis 10x worse than it already is. I didn’t have a voice at all for 12 days, I had to use a dry erase board for all interactions (it’s quicker than typing on my phone.) 
Nausea
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Now my case may be different because the doctors keep telling me my nausea shouldn’t have gone on as long as it did and that I need to go see a Gastroenterologist ASAP but that’s a different story for a different post. Nausea was my worst and most persistent symptom to date. The kind of nausea you may feel will be persistent. I woke up nauseous to the point of my mouth salivating as though I were about to vomit everyday for about 2-2.5 weeks. This never settled. There was never a time my mouth was not salivating, I had to begin keeping paper cups at my desk to spit the residual saliva into throughout the day because it never subsided. One day, I had a salad for lunch from Panera even though I wasn’t hungry, I knew I should try to eat something. (By this time, my throat had made some progress and I could swallow some whole things.) I immediately regretted that decision when I lay in bed at midnight holding my stomach like the world was ending. I was so nauseous that I couldn’t get myself together enough to even get out of bed. The thing that makes the nausea symptom so bad (for me) is that it never made be actually vomit, it just created the sensation of needing to. Eventually, I broke down and stuck a straw down my throat just to alleviate the symptom a bit and threw up the salad, and it didn’t even look like it’d been digested properly. That made the nausea go away for the night, and after that I gave up eating anything solid hoping that would prevent any future nausea, spoiler alert: I was wrong. My salivating mouth picked up right where it left off, it was as though all I went through the night before didn’t even matter. My stomach was empty and still nauseated. That night, the nausea was so bad that I just knew something was off and I drove myself to the ER (Note: I drive myself to the ER that is less than 10-minutes away all the time to save money on an ambulance, if you feel you are not safe to drive, dial 911, it is better to just pay the ambulance than cause an accident and make your situation worse than it already is.). When I got there, I was beyond exhausted, nauseous, dizzy, I just felt like I was dying. The doctor brought me back, took my vitals, asked the usual questions. I told him about the nausea, the Mono diagnosis, he said he wanted me to get a temporary room while he ran some tests. I got a room and a nurse came in and gave me a shot of Zofran for the nausea that did absolutely nothing. It was so bad that when he came back in, I asked for Ipecac or a straw to induce vomiting again. Alarmed, he said they wanted to avoid me vomiting and gave me an additional shot of Zofran. That helped that time, but I still just felt overall terrible. The doctor came in later and told me my potassium levels were extremely low, explaining the extreme fatigue and dizziness, that my liver was swollen from the Mono, and that the nausea was alarming and he would be admitting me for treatment. I was shocked that this virus had done such a number on me. My throat had even worsened and was now even more swollen and painful than it was before (I hadn’t gotten the 20mg prednisone script yet.). I spent 2 days with an IV in my arm, eating mushy foods and sleeping in the hospital. I had to take off work because I was in no shape to even drive there, let alone get anything done. After the 2 days went by, I actually felt back to my normal self! I was so fucking happy to exist and not feel like dying after weeks of wanting to that I went home and started cleaning my room. I had let it get atrocious from not feeling well or feeling like doing anything besides sleeping. Shortly after I began, the fatigue kicked in, the only symptom to never leave, and I sat my ass down and watched Rick & Morty with Sebastia and went to sleep instead, which was probably the safer bet. Fast forward 8 nausea-free days, and guess what’s back??? It’s tolerable now, but still an extreme nuisance. I get my Zofran prescription and it does didly fucking squat to alleviate the nausea. I call the Urgent Care that diagnosed me and ask if there’s anything stronger for nausea and they tell me all the stronger shit will have me bedbound and loopy. Bills gotta get paid so we can’t have that. So that night, in a moment of nauseous desperation, I took double the dosage of the Zofran to alleviate the discomfort. Now, I understand I shouldn’t have done this, but I was DESPERATE and afterward, I felt great. It was the first time the medicine had done wtf the doctors said it would do and the way it was supposed to: quick, fast and in a motherfucking sprint. So I stupidly called the Urgent Care to ask them about the nausea medicine again (I have such a good relationship with this UC for some reason, probably because I hate my primary.) and told them what I’d done the night before and that I was now out of nausea meds and needed a refill before it came back, which was all true. Jessica, the nurse I always saw, was alarmed and spoke to the doctor on duty there, and told them about what I did. Then they cut me off and said to go ask my Primary for the refill because I’ve been utilizing them way too much (long story short). But she also said that I shouldn’t need that much Zofran and something else is going on and I need to be seen by a Gastro. That $40 co-pay appointment is still pending. Andddd I’ve been nausea-free for about a week now, but as I type this, my mouth just began salivating so it looks like I’m gonna be dealing with that again soon. Fuck.
Dizziness
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My dizziness didn’t come full force until about 4 days ago (Week 4). I was out at a shopping center getting groceries and while I was parking at a nearby Dunkin Donuts, the world legit started slanting. I felt like I’d been drugged all of a sudden. My skin felt cold and clammy, everything felt out of focus and I immediately needed to lie down. Luckily, it came right after I’d put my car in park and had the opportunity to put my seat back and do so. I waited about 10 minutes maybe, and then I felt ok enough to get out and go get some food because I thought I was just hungry because I hadn’t eaten yet. Even standing in line and waiting for the food afterward was difficult. I had to sit down or else I’d fall down. I got back in my car and ate and laid down again, went back to the store to get eggs I forgot to grab before, and on the walk back to my car almost walked into another parked car. Of course, people saw and probably thought I was drunk or something. I was embarrassed but didn’t have the motor skills energy to explain the situation of feeling like I was in 2 bodies at once. This symptom has come and gone as it pleases, but luckily after a good 2-hour nap that day when I got home, I felt alot better. 
Poor Appetite
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While battling this virus, I have lost 10 pounds and still counting in the past 4 weeks. While it’s great to fit into clothes I was once too thick to get past my thighs, it is not the way I wanted to lose the weight. In the beginning, I always felt full no matter what, which made me not want to eat, combined with the nausea, it made eating something I just wasn’t in the mood to ever do. This went on for weeks, which caused the weight loss. I learned later that my swollen liver pressing against my stomach is what caused the sensation of fullness, hence, not ever feeling like I should eat. Now, my appetite has returned, and I’ve been eating nothing but starchy, fatty nonsense my diet never would’ve allowed before I got sick. And even with all the newfound calories I’ve been non-stop digesting (seriously guys, pizza 5 days straight, bread bowls, bacon egg and cheese croissants, cheesecake, donuts...) I’m still shedding pounds. My Gold’s Gym Membership is gathering dust because I can’t go workout with my body still always in fatigue-mode and it’s probably just not kosher to do with this kind of virus. My mom said I should celebrate for now until it becomes a cause for concern later, but I think I should probably be concerned now since the earlier you find something out the better health-wise. I lowkey did some research and think I might have Hepatitis-C from the virus, which is curable, but sucks all the same if I’m right. I inherited my mother’s extremely poor immune system, so I really wouldn’t be surprised. I’ll post before and after photos of my weight loss separately, don’t want Tumblr turning me into the Face of Monoℱ because of this post. 
Swollen Lymph Nodes
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This was one of the lesser symptoms that went away by week 2-2.5. They are definitely sensitive and noticeable. I found that icing them alleviated a lot of the discomfort and made it tolerable, but overall, these were the least of my worries.
If you experience any of these symptoms or think you may have Mono, definitely get yourself checked out. They can do a rapid test at any Urgent Care or ER and let you know during your visit if you have it. This shit is not a joke. I’m still dealing with the symptoms right now and have no inclination of when they will be gone. The literature says anywhere from a few weeks to a year, I’m praying for the initial option but I have no way of knowing for sure. I say all this to say, pay attention to and know your body, guys. You only get one. 
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artificialqueens · 5 years ago
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All the Stories (Begin With You and Me) (Branjie) -- athena2
Summary: Brooke is nervous about taking anxiety meds for the first time, and Vanessa comforts her.
A/N: This is a little hurt/comfort gift for Writ, because they are the absolute best and I just adore them. It also ended up a little therapeutic for me, and I hope you enjoy! Please leave feedback if you’d like! This does focus on anxiety quite a bit, so please be cautious.
Title from Message in the Wind from Carole and Tuesday (Thanks Writ for introducing me to that song!)
Read on AO3
—
“It shouldn’t be a big deal, right?” Brooke laughs nervously. “It’s just a little pill.”
Vanessa rests a hand on Brooke’s back. “It’s okay if it is,” she says softly.
Vanessa is torn, because she doesn’t want to make this a big deal, doesn’t want to make Brooke any more self-conscious than she is. She wants taking medication to just be part of Brooke’s morning routine, as normal as packing their lunches. But on the other hand, she’s so proud of Brooke for getting help, for making this change, and Brooke deserves to be praised.
Vanessa decided waffles for breakfast were a good halfway-point, not too extravagant but enough to make the day a little special. She made enough noise to wake the city pulling their waffle maker out of the cupboard, pots and pans tumbling out in an avalanche that ruined the surprise when Brooke came running to see if she was okay. They made them together, Brooke stirring batter that Vanessa let sizzle on the iron, and the golden stack sits next to the bottle of pure Canadian maple syrup—because Brooke wouldn’t use anything else—and the Nutella Vanessa slathers on hers. Their coffee mugs–red with pink hearts for Vanessa and black with white cats for Brooke–steam on the table, lying in wait for their first glorious sips.
She knows this is a big step for Brooke, one that’s taken months, even years. Vanessa has known Brooke’s anxiety as long as she’s known Brooke. She’s reassured Brooke that people in the mall weren’t laughing at her, watched as she stuttered her way through ordering food, sweaty hands holding the menu in a death grip. She’s held Brooke’s hands to stop her from chewing her nails off in a fit of restlessness. She’s talked Brooke down from a panic attack, sitting on the bathroom floor and coaching Brooke to breathe with a light hand on her chest. She was there, even when it broke her heart to see Brooke hurting so much.
When Brooke broke down crying after an anxious spiral one night, cuticles raw and bleeding, whole body trembling even after Vanessa wrapped her in a blanket, Vanessa encouraged her to get help. It took a month of coaxing before Brooke finally called, leading to consultations and paperwork and appointments and the tiny orange bottle looming in front of them on the counter.
“I just
it feels weird to need meds,” Brooke says. Her shoulders slump and Vanessa’s heart aches for her.
Asking for help doesn’t come naturally to Brooke, she knows that. Brooke is a fierce perfectionist, a trait only deepened by her dance training. She’s used to pushing her feelings down, straightening her posture, and holding her head high to cover up the anxiety twisting in her stomach, the worries racing through her mind.
Waffles and comforting words can’t magically fix things, but Vanessa’s going to do her best, and rubs slow, soothing circles on Brooke’s back. “It’s okay to need meds. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you had high blood pressure or somethin’ and needed medicine, would you be ashamed?”
Brooke’s cheeks flush pink. “No.”
“Right,” Vanessa agrees. “It’s just medicine to help your brain out. That’s all.”
Brooke nods, picking up the pill. It’s almost in her mouth when she stops.
“What—what if they don’t work?” She asks quietly, eyes wide with a fear Vanessa wishes she could take away. She knows Brooke’s brain is already calling her a failure over the possibility that they won’t work, like it’s her fault.
“They might not,” Vanessa says truthfully, recalling the paperwork she and Brooke reviewed together. “But it’s not your fault if they don’t. The papers said certain meds don’t work for certain people, or maybe you’ll need a different dosage. But Dr. Cain will help with that, okay?”
“What if they
change me?”
“Well, they will a little bit,” Vanessa says. Honesty is what Brooke needs right now, the best way to calm her fears. “They’re gonna quiet down the things that make you anxious so you can feel better. But you’re still Brooke, right? You’re still caring and patient and smart and think you’re tough when you really just a big softie. You can still eat half a pizza in one sitting. You can still dance and watch cheesy movies with me.” Vanessa smiles, heart lifting as Brooke returns it. “You’re still Brooke. And I still love you.”
Brooke squeezes her hand and Vanessa squeezes back. She holds on tight as Brooke washes down her pill with a sip of water.
“Can we have waffles now?” Brooke asks sheepishly.
“Of course we can.”
—-
All day at work, Brooke tries to decide if she feels different. She knows the meds don’t work that fast, but she can’t stop staring at herself in the dance studio mirror and wondering if anything has changed.
Same blonde hair that she’ll release from its bun and let Vanessa run her fingers through tonight. Same green eyes that Vanessa says remind her of spring leaves. Same legs that Vanessa traces her fingers up, marvelling at how long they are.
The meds shouldn’t change much on the outside, but what about the inside? Will she know the meds are working? Will her thoughts feel different? Is she still Brooke without that voice in her head telling her to find every last typo in her emails so she doesn’t look unprofessional? Is she still Brooke without rehearsing her order 10 times so she doesn’t mess up and sound stupid?
The fact that she’ll have to keep taking medication is strange. Vanessa got her a sparkly black pill holder with a slot for each day, something Brooke would glance over in the section of the store loaded with fuzzy puff-ball keychains and holiday napkins on clearance and old planners with vaguely inspirational quotes–random stuff that was fun to look at, but that she never thought she’d actually need. She can’t quite shake the voices in her head–whether they’re her own, her parents’, or her old dance instructor’s, she can’t tell–saying that she’s inferior for needing them.
You don’t need help. You’re overreacting. There’s nothing wrong with you.
Stop crying and get your homework done.
No excuses. Focus.
She takes a deep breath like she learned in therapy. There’s another voice breaking through, stronger than the others, and it sounds like Vanessa’s.
There’s no shame in asking for help.
Brooke has never had to ask for help. She’s always been the perfect daughter, bringing home straight-A report cards and landing solos in dance recitals, a perfect image neglecting the stress that went into creating it, the sleepless nights studying and practicing routines. She could write an essay with shaky hands and tear-blurred eyes at 2am and still get an A. She didn’t need help. She could chew her lip until it bled while working on the studio’s finances and have it all come out fine. Her anxiety isn’t a problem if she still comes out on top. She didn’t need help. That’s just how she is.
Or how she was, because even if they take weeks to fully work, the meds are supposed to help with that. It wasn’t until she went to therapy that she saw the things she thought make her succeed just make her miserable. She didn’t need to spend her entire lunch hour deliberating over a three-line email, her stomach growling all day after her leftover stir-fry went untouched. She didn’t need to stay up past midnight quadruple-checking studio plans she finished hours before when she could be sleeping with Vanessa.
It’s the way she is, but maybe it didn’t have to be that way anymore.
People have given it many names since she was a kid, in hushed voices like it was some scandalous secret no one was supposed to mention. Brooke was just a worrier. A perfectionist. Detail-oriented. Type A. High-strung. Fussy. It wasn’t until she was sitting in her office that Dr. Cain told her its name: anxiety.
It was anxiety that whispered in her ear and told her she wasn’t good enough. Anxiety that told her a booming laugh from fifty feet away was aimed at her, that she had done something stupid. It was anxiety that told her she didn’t need help, that she didn’t deserve it when people needed it more, that she needed the anxiety to function. But Dr. Cain said none of that is true. She deserves help, and she doesn’t need anxiety to function.
Brooke hasn’t told Vanessa, but she’s scared. All those things–the worrying, the perfecting, the what if-ing–have been part of her as long as she remembers, from when she stayed up way too late as a child worrying about bad things happening at school. She doesn’t want to keep those parts, especially after Dr. Cain showed her how harmful they are, but she’s had them for so long that she’s afraid to lose them. She honestly doesn’t know who she is without the worrying, without the fretting, without the need to be perfect.
You’re still Brooke, Vanessa said.
Vanessa is right. She is still Brooke. She’s still going to let the dog and cats cuddle with her on the couch when they can hardly fit. She’ll still going to make popcorn and let Vanessa choose on movie nights just to see her smile before they trade salty-buttery kisses. She’s still going to work in the studio, and dip French fries (maybe or maybe not stolen from Vanessa’s plate) into her vanilla milkshake, and fall asleep with her wife in her arms. She’s still Brooke, who loves Vanessa with all her heart.
And nothing will ever change that.
—
The smell of chicken with lemon and garlic fills the kitchen, Vanessa tending to the stove in her pajamas (‘Who says I can’t put my pj’s on right after work? It ain’t against the law’).
Brooke knows that no matter what happens, whether the meds work on the first try or need adjusting, if she has any side effects or not, Vanessa will be there, and that’s enough.
“You have a good day?” Vanessa asks.
Brooke answers her with a kiss. “You were right.”
“Ain’t I always?” Vanessa smiles. “But about what?”
“I’m still Brooke. And I still love you.”
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cashtonismyweakness · 6 years ago
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Teach Me (Part 1)
(A/N: this is just the intro to the series... I wrote this last night while on a lot of meds cause I'm sick asf so there may be mistakes. idk.. lemme know if there is...okay...cool)
Warnings: none? I mean I guess its v v cheesy but its fanfic sooo... deal with it...
Part 2 Part 3
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It was a rare occurrence where everyone was home on a Saturday night. Usually you’d be at work or studying for a test while the boys were doing god knows what.
Living with four guys wasn’t as bad as you thought. The rent was cheap and they all became some of your best friends. You all attended the same college too so carpooling was a bonus. Granted there were some things that you had to deal with, like putting the toilet seat down and teaching them how to make food other than what came from a box.
—
You were in your room finishing up some homework when a knock on your door interrupted your concentration.
“Yeah?” The door opened and Michael stuck his head in.
“Hey we’re playing beer pong in the basement if you wanna join”
“...yeah okay” you could use a break anyway.
You followed Michael down the stairs to see Luke and Ashton playing a round while Calum was sipping a beer on the couch. You grabbed your drink of choice from the mini fridge before joining Calum.
You played a few rounds against each of them before you decided to call it, feeling buzzed but not overly tipsy.
“Wanna play something that doesn’t involve drinking?” Calum asked you. You were curious about what he was thinking so you nodded.
“Truth or dare?”
“Are you twelve years old!?” Your exclamation peaked the rest of their interest.
“C’mon it’s just a game. Truth or dare?” He asked again.
“Fine...truth”
“Do you have a crush on any of us”
The music was the only sound anyone could hear. You went dead silent, a red blush creeping up on your face as they all stared at you awaiting your answer. You thought they were all attractive and couldn’t deny having thought of them in less than appropriate ways.
“Um yeah... I-I mean... you’re all not bad looking...” Luke was giggling at your flustered state while sipping his beer.
The game went on for a bit. You asked them questions and they asked you questions. Each one progressively getting more and more dirty. You learned all about their best sexual encounters and what kind of kinks they had before they started to question you.
“Truth or dare?” Ashton asked you
“Truth”
“Best head you’ve ever received?”
Again silence, before you groaned into a pillow. The truth was you haven’t done anything. You haven’t even had your first kiss! You weren’t embarrassed about being a virgin but having to tell them, the four men who you’ve had a crush on since the day you met them, made you so so flustered.
“I’ve uhhh.. I’ve never done... anything” you said quietly, finding the fringe on the pillow suddenly very interesting.
“Anything!?” Micheal asked, surprise evident in his voice.
“...If you must know, I haven’t even kissed anyone” you mumbled but they still heard
“Holy fuck” Luke said under his breath
“You’re so innocent” Ashton shook his head in disbelief.
But Calum continued on.
“Truth or dare?”
You threw the pillow at him
“It’s my turn!” You argued
“Just answer the question”
You narrowed your eyes at him before choosing.
“Fine. Dare”
“I dare you to let me kiss you”
Your stomach lurched with a rush of nerves and you couldn’t find the words to say yes so you nodded.
Hands gripped your waist, pulling you to sit on Calum’s lap. His ring-clad fingers held your jaw and you could feel his breath before he leaned closer to meet your lips.
You’ve imagined what your first kiss would feel like but nothing you ever thought of could compare to this. Calum’s lips were soft against yours. The thumb on your waist was rubbing circles in an attempt to distract you from the three other pairs of eyes watching. He pulled at your chin a bit to part your lips before biting at your bottom lip gently and pulling away, landing a quick peck to top it off.
“How was that?” He asked you
“Good” you bit your lip before hiding your face in his shoulder.
The game continued on but the only questions you got ended up with you kissing each of them.
Luke took your breath away, seeming to never want to stop kissing you with the way his hand was tangled in your hair.
Ashton’s lips were rough but it was a pleasurable roughness, and he stepped it up by trailing his kisses along your jaw.
Michael used his tongue against yours and quickly had your arms wrapped around his neck.
It was nearly midnight by the time you decided to call it a night, bidding them a quiet “goodnight” before heading to your room. You were truly exhausted but sleep didn’t come easily. Thoughts of what just happened ran through your mind, still in utter disbelief that t wasn’t all just a dream.
—
You woke up to the smell of pancakes, a rare occurrence where breakfast was more than cereal or toast. The sound of conversation came to a standstill when you entered the kitchen, greeting them with a soft “morning” and taking a seat next to Luke.
Ashton handed you a plate of freshly made pancakes topped with whipped cream and syrup.
“Thank you!” You said with a smile before shoving a bite in your mouth. You started to wonder why he was being so nice to you, not that he was ever mean. He just never made you breakfast before. But before you could question it, you met eyes with Michael. He had a smirk that told you something was up. Swallowing the food, you pried for the reason behind his smirk.
“What’s up with you?”
Michael looked at Calum and Luke, the three having a silent conversation before he spoke up.
“Ash what do you think? Should we ask her now?”
Ashton came over with the rest of the pancakes before coming to sit across from Luke.
“You already brought it up. Might as well”
“Okay so here’s the thing... you like us and we like you and you trust us right?” Micheal continued. Of course you trusted them. The events of last night wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t, so you nodded.
“Yeah so is there a certain reason you haven’t done anything in terms of sex?” He asked the question so nonchalantly like it wasn’t such a taboo subject.
“Uhm... I’ve never been in a relationship....and also I don’t really know how...” you played with your fork, being too nervous to look at them.
“Yeah, we gathered this. So we’re thinking, if you want, we could teach you some stuff? It’s totally up to you though” Michael said seriously. One of Luke’s hands gripped yours, giving a reassuring squeeze.
The fork fell to the floor but you didn’t move, too shocked with their offer. You’ve only ever imagined doing...stuff... with them, never in your life thinking it could be a reality.
Luke was the one to pull you from your thoughts.
“Think we broke her”
You gave him a shove before speaking.
“Okay
.yeah. Teach me”
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malafight · 5 years ago
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Long-Ass Life Update (I’m not dead!)
Finally a life update now that I’m back home. It’s been a painful and tiring couple of weeks :’) And actually some of the days/times might be off because I was like super fucking out of it for most of that time period.
Anyhow, I went to the ER on Friday the 1st after 3 days of severe stomach pain, and the local hospital is like notoriously shitty but I was in horrible pain ok
They actually took me seriously for once, took me back immediately, ekg, ultrasound, blood and piss tests, and told me from the start not to eat or drink anything.
They told me they found gallstones and one or more might be stuck in the bile duct, but they made it sound like it wasnt inflamed and there werent many, so I wasnt super worried? They sent me for an MRI and then told me that they didnt have the capability to get out any stones, so they sent my ass an hour away via ambulance to a much better hospital so they could do the probe thing they needed to. It took until Saturday night to get a room there, though, and they didnt know when I’d get there and since they figured theyd want to do the probe ASAP, I was kept completely without eating or drinking for all of Friday night and Saturday, after not eating more than a few bites of muffin on Friday and next to nothing Thursday either because Everything Hurt.
Also, Fentanyl is fucking magic. Thats the only thing that even vaguely touched the pain.
So anyhow, I get to the other hospital at fuck o’clock at night and God Damn Staved because, like I said, bitches gave me No Fucking Food for an entire day (I’m not kidding that hospital is horrible and has a horrible reputation for ending up with killing people or making situations worse but the next nearest hospitals are an hour away in different directions and I don’t often have anyone willing to drive me that far and I often don’t feel up to driving myself that far if I’m already at “need to go to the ER, fuck the money I don’t have” point, and Saer has only just gotten into the USA and the last time they came with me to the ER they ended up with a virus for like three weeks and I wasn’t gonna do that to them again!!) and finally when I got to that hospital they were like “yeah we won’t be able to do the probe until Monday so eat something and then tomorrow you’re on a liquid diet and then nothing by mouth after midnight” so they scrounged me up some chicken broth and orange juice at like ten o’clock at night and gave me Those Good Good Meds and I slept in a decent hospital bed instead of on a fucking ER bed like Friday night (since they were transferring me at the local hospital they didn’t admit me and I slept in the ER. yeah. i hurt too badly to sleep on my side even with pain meds, and I slept on an ER bed. I had to sleep all day Saturday on and off just to get vaguely rested, but honestly? this whole ordeal has been an adventure in sleep deprivation despite heavy sedatives)
Monday rolls around and they take me for the ERCP (iirc thats what it was) where they put a thing down my throat and cut the bile duct wider so the stone could pass, get that bitch cleared up, all is well. I was heavily sedated and remember none of it, just waking up with different pain in my stomach and the world’s worst sore throat.
I was on a liquid diet from that and until the extraction on Wednesday. I have drank my weight in broth and orange juice.
Wednesday they take me in to remove my gallbladder. It was supposed to be a simple laparoscopic procedure, nip it out, pull it, I go home in a couple days with a couple small cuts on my belly. My dad (and several other people) reassured me that it was routine and quick, and is an easy procedure that should take 2 hours at most. I told him, “Listen, with me, literally nothing is ever easy and you know that”
Fast forward to me waking up and my first thought is “is that a catheter? guess it didnt go so easy after all.” I’m pretty sure the first words I said as I woke up were “told you it wouldnt be easy” lmao
Remember how hospital #1 told me that my gallbladder wasn’t inflamed and there were only a couple gallstones?
It was chock goddamn full of gallstones and so inflamed that when they tried to get it out laparoscopically, it tore. He spent an hour trying to get it out that way safely before realizing that his only recourse is to cut me open and get it out that way. The procedure took closer to 5 hours.
I have at least 20 staples in my belly now and I hope I get a cool fuckin scar but shit hurts still. I was in the hospital slowly ramping up to eating solid food again until Friday when I was allowed to go home to Saer. I can’t lift anything more than 20 pounds for another like month, and my range of motion is a fraction of what it was before. I’m so easily exhausted now and i can barely do anything and it’s really fucking pathetic??? and every time I bring that up Saer is like “they TOOK your ORGAN” so
(its really sad that i’m so conditioned that If I’m Not Doing Everything I Can All The Time Then I’m Not Trying Hard Enough that even after having full surgery to remove an organ I’m like NO I CAN DO THE THING and then end up hurting myself s-sobs)
(we watched the episode of b99 today where gina comes back after getting hit by a bus and when she tried to dance while still in the halo saer pointed at her and was like “it u” and i was like “exCUSE” but like, tru)
anyhow, im home, and i have my wife with me, and saer is such a blessing right now because i cannot do SHIT and they need to help me off the couch sometimes if my dumb ass gets in a position with no leverage, and also ive already fallen off the couch like twice because i was like NO I GOT IT and saer was across the room like BEB NO U DONT and yeah im stubborn and stupid ok saer is saving me from myself for the most part
also also the app i drive for is shutting down in my city at the start of december hhhhh so now i also have to fuckin... find a job like this and uGH do not WANT ffff
but yeah thats something even my parents have okayed me holding off on until I’m better so if even my fuckin parents are like “pls chill???” yall know im fucked up
however i’m mostly weaned off opiod pain meds now and am only using them at night when it’s worse and hard to sleep, tylenol tends to take care of it well enough now. my range of motion is improving, too, but i am just still so easily tired that its frustrating. we went grocery shopping yesterday and even in the little motor scooter i was completely worn out by the end of it.
but im alive! all is well! i will continue improving! sorry for being so quiet during this but like I said, i’ve been some level of sedated for most of this event. not fully sedated except for the two procedures, but fentanyl and dilautin (ok i have no idea what it actually is and google isnt helping but i had a button for it) and then morphine and hydrocodone on top of not getting restful sleep At All due to pain, discomfort, and people coming in every hour for vitals checks... I was fuckin Gone i got fuckall done rip
however once my pain-induced blood pressure spike was lowered (i saw them take it at the ER and it was fuckin RED) everyone was like “...you have really good blood pressure??” like i’m pretty sure i have low blood pressure naturally and my size/genetics gives me high blood pressure and they kinda cancel each other out, but yeah. pretty cool.
my family kept swinging between “IF YOURE IN THAT MUCH PAIN FOR 24 HOURS YOU GO TO THE ER. YOU DO NOT WAIT THREE DAYS.” and “...jesus christ you have a high pain tolerance”
//throws the horns thats what chronic pain does to ya baybee
my mom especially was impressed because she was just like “you’re so calm talking to them about how much it hurts how are you doing that” and im just like “its literally wasted energy to freak out and i hurt too badly to move so im just gonna sit here and tell them im a ten and hope they take pity on me because i have no other options”
anyhow fun new experience and im pretty sure ive broken my brother’s hospitalization record and also pretty sure i’ve got enough medical debt on me now that i can literally file for bankruptcy so
also i can feel a void near my ribs and it is so bizarre yall fuckin organs need to close the gap asap bc this shit weird as hell
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g0dtier · 5 years ago
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we’re doing the residency thing. tomorrow will be day 3
day 1 was kinda wild. we were there at 10am and its like, this old factory cleaned up to be an artist workspace so we’re with about 40 there. 11 in our class, 32 of the other class. 
we just spent a lil time settling in and then had a slavic drink night, hosted by our own local slav girl, my classmate from slovakia. we kissed pictures of maria and said nasdravya (i cannot spell this but ive said it plenty of times now to get the pronunciation correct lmfao) a lot. we roasted pork, potatoes and onions over fire. we drank a bunch of slavic liquor. then a tiny group of us went out to see a astronomy thing, a tiny building in the city with a big telescope in it. i wanted to see the moon but i couldnt see shit bc of clouds. we found a bag on the way there full of dildos and buttplugs and adderall so that was dope
then at like half past midnight i was already in bed because im Old but i had to go to the toilet so i walked into the bathroom and 1 guy was just wildly dancing in front of the bathroom mirror and another guy was sat atop the wall with 1 leg dangling into a stall and one leg dangling off the other side of the wall. this is the 3rd time in my 2 times of seeing this dude that he climbed some fucking wall. they were listening to soulja boy. also my classmate put his bed next to mine and i was like “alright sure you can do that” and thank GOD he didnt spend the entire night snoring like a motherfucker because i know he does that
today was fine. i went to the building store with some guy from the other class and spent too much money on materials. then the guy took one of the carts to carry the materials to the factory and he got a call like IMMEDIATELY with someone saying “yea we saw u fucking thief give that cart back” so he took it back and then met the boss guy of the company who was like “actually idk who called u but we dont actually give a fuck about this lmao”
im sleeping at home today bc i gotta pick up me meds tomorrow but i think ill be sleeping there as much as possible till the 17th
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hazthediv · 6 years ago
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The Sun Will Shine - H.O
As announced, here comes the first part of one of the new fics! I hope you all enjoy it.
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Thanks to Ana (@sweetosterfield) for this lovely moodboard, you are amazing ilysm!!
Pairing: Fuckboy!Haz x Reader (The Fault in our Stars AU)
Word Count : 5600
Summary :  When you get faced with death, you have two choices: either wait for it to come or live your best life until it does. Y/N has had cancer for almost a year and if it wasn’t for her best friend, Harrison Osterfield, she would have chosen the first option. But something in the blue of his eyes made her decide to live what little she has left as best as she can.
Note : It isn’t really a TFIOS AU, the only thing in common is that Y/N has cancer but whatever
Warnings : Angsty I guess.
Additional note : This story kinda means a lot to me because I’ve lost my childhood friend to cancer but whatever
The smell of the hospital was sickening and the atmosphere hung heavy. The doctor’s eyes were apologetic. You hated those eyes. They were the messengers of bad news.
You watched his lips moving but you couldn’t hear a thing. There was a deadly silence in your head, until the echoes of what the doctor had said reached you.
“I apologize to have to tell you this, miss Y/L/N. I know cancer is scary, but we’ll be with you through everything.”
Even today the world still echoed in your mind, like some song on repeat that you could never get rid of.
You sighed, shooting a look to Harrison. The boy was sitting in the chair next to your bed, probably texting with the newest girl he was seeing.
The monitor next to your bed beat repeatedly as you were waiting for the chemotherapy treatment to be over. You watched the meds dripping inside the tube that was connected to your arm.
“Thought you were supposed to entertain me for the three hours of my treatment”, you told Harrison.
The boy raised his gaze from his phone. “Yup, oops”, he apologized, his cheeks turning pink.
“Who are you talking to?” you asked, wanting anything to distract yourself from what was going on.
“Shelley”, he said. “Uh no, wait.” He glanced at the screen of his phone. “No, that’s it, Shelley.”
You sighed, shaking your head. “Are you serious?” you chuckled.
He looked at you. “Dead ass serious”, he smirked, a small laugh falling from his lips. “Met her when I went clubbing with Tom last week.”
“And you’re still talking to her?” you exclaimed. “Damn, the love must be real.”
Haz laughed but didn’t say a thing.
Your gaze rested back on the intravenous tube and on the meds dripping inside of it. It was silent, obviously, but when you watched it long enough you swore you could hear each drop falling into the tube.
“At least it’s the last treatment”, you said, out of the blue.
Haz looked at you, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “I swear the moment you get out of this hellhole we’re going clubbing.”
You laughed slightly. If only you could

You had had cancer for just a little over a year now. Pancreatic cancer. When they had told you about your cancer all those months ago, they had also said that you were lucky they had found it so soon in its development. They even thought you had a chance of recovery. A year later you weren’t quite sure if you had been lucky. Chemotherapy wasn’t easy and you felt sick half of the time. Radiations were easier, but five months ago the doctors had realized they weren’t enough. So now you did a combination of both. But this was your last chemotherapy treatment.
Hopefully. Hopefully it was going to be your last. You were going to get an MRI tomorrow to know if the cancer had finally receded completely. The doctors were really hopeful and you couldn’t help but to hope with them.
A part of you wondered what you should do if the cancer hadn’t receded. You had tried all the treatments you could, a combination of chemo and radiations being the last thing you could do. If it hadn’t diminished by now, you knew it meant it was never going to. You had read about such cases on the internet so you knew damn well it was possible.
“What if I don’t?” you suddenly said.
Haz shook his head a little. “Don’t say that. You’re stronger than this, we both know it.”
“But what if I’m not? What if tomorrow the doctors say that the cancer is still there and that there’s nothing else to do?”
Haz held your gaze for a long time, searching for the words to say.
“Y/N
 you’ve been my best friend ever since we were four. The little girl you were back then would have never been so pessimist.”
“Am I being pessimist or realistic?” you enquired, bitterness in your voice.
“Listen, we’ll see tomorrow”, Haz softly said. “I promise everything will be alright and I’ll be with you all along and we’ll go to the pub to celebrate.”
You smiled slightly. What would you do without those pretty blue eyes by your side

You had met Harrison when you were four years old, when your parents had had to move to London for work. Harrison was your neighbor back then and you had grown up together.
Even though you had taken different paths in life, with you studying law and being currently sick and him being Tom’s assistant and trying to be an actor, you were still pretty close. More than a friend, Haz was the brother you had never had. And now he was also your only family

Years ago, when you were still young and innocent and healthy, you had gotten into a huge fight with your parents. You always fought with your parents, especially with your dad, but that time had been worse. Your dad had been drunk off his ass, like he always was, and you had gotten angry at him for it and at your mom for letting it happen again and again.
The memories were still bitter and they still hurt like fresh wounds. Your father had kicked you out of the house, telling you to never come back. Again, this wasn’t unusual, he always said stuff like that when he was drunk. But this time, he had hit you. Not so hard but hard enough for you to decide you had had enough.
Your mother hadn’t even begged you to stay as she had watched you pack your bags. She had only said that if you ever needed anything, she was going to help you. Financially. The financially still stung today.
She had really helped though, depositing money in your account each months until you turned 18. At 18 the income stopped and it took almost a month for you to learn that it was because your mother had died.
The day you had learned about her death had been
 weird. You hadn’t seen your parents in almost two years, living with Tom or Haz’s family. The news came from Haz’s mom, while the two boys and you were sitting in the backyard talking about everything and nothing.
At first you hadn’t even reacted. It wasn’t like you saw your mother every day. She had already been out of your life for years
 but it didn’t lessen the loss. You felt bad for abandoning her with your father, even though your father never was violent towards her. She was your mother, after all, and you still remembered how she loved to tell you stories when you were still just a child. But that woman had died long ago and your grief for her was already done.
That night you had gone out to the pub with the guys and you had drunk more than you had ever did in your entire life. Haz had held your hair as you had been sick afterwards and he had never commented about that the next day, or all the ones following for that matter. He had been there for you, like he knew you would be if it was him in that situation.
A nurse walked in the hospital room, indicating to you that the treatment was done. She took the intravenous tube off of your arm and then detached you from the monitor. Haz helped you to get up and then to sit in your usual after-chemo wheelchair.
“So, miss Y/L/N”, the nurse said, “your appointment is tomorrow at 9 AM. You need to be completely sober, so no food after midnight tonight. You can go back home for the night though.”
You thanked the nurse. Haz then wheeled you out of the hospital room and to the elevator.
“What do you wanna eat for dinner?” the boy asked as you got in the elevator.
Right now the thought of eating made you feel sick, like it always did after chemo.
“Something light, you know I can’t eat full meals after my chemo treatments”, you answered.
“We could ask my mom to make you that salad you love so much”, Haz suggested.
Your eyes lit up at the thought. “Yes, that would be amazing.”
Before you got out of the hospital, Haz helped you to put your coat on. You noticed it was snowing a little outside but the snowflakes were melting long before they touched the ground.
Haz wheeled you out and then towards the car. He helped you to get in and then folded your wheelchair and put it in the trunk.
“You’re lucky you’re like a sister to me because I wouldn’t help anyone else the way I help you”, he joked as he got in.
“A fuckboy with a heart of gold”, you laughed.
“What? I’m no fuckboy”, he replied almost sounding convincingly offended.
“Shelley, is that it?” you chuckled.
He sighed, trying his best to refrain from smiling but clearly failing to do so. “Yeah, I just got confused with Shirley. You know, the redhead I met on Tinder.”
“Never heard of her”, you admitted. “You know, there are so many, I can’t keep up with you.”
Haz laughed. “Yeah, oops. I should probably slow down.”
“Mate, I don’t know what slowing down means to you but I sure as hell know you won’t be able to do it”, you joked, a tired laugh falling from your lips.
All this talk had tired you and you rested your head on the window, yawning a little.
“Do you want to nap before dinner?” Haz asked. “Mom wants us to be there around 7.”
Your eyes must have lit up at the mention of a nap because Haz chuckled and said: “Okay, we are taking a nap.”
“We?” you repeated.
“Why not? I’m exhausted too and I can’t sleep at night”, Haz explained.
“Why can’t you?” you asked.
Haz looked at you, his eyes lingering on yours for just a little too long for it to be comfortable.
“I don’t know, I have insomnia I guess”, he finally said, resting his gaze back on the road.
There in the lines around his eyes you noticed worry. He was worried about you. Of course he was. Everybody who cared just a little about you were worried lately. Chemotherapy made you look like a corpse with the energy of a bee in autumn, when it moves so slowly cause it’s falling asleep for the cold months that are to come.
You knew that under the mask Harrison wore with the world he was just a soft boy, a guy who was so scared of getting hurt that he never let anybody in. He liked to say that he didn’t care about anyone or anything. He never told you he didn’t care about you, obviously, but you remembered the countless girls that had asked you if they had a chance with Harrison, usually the morning after a one night with him. Haz had never cared about any of them, you knew. But he cared about a lot of other stuff. His family and his dog, for instance. His friends too. And since you were somewhere between friends and family, you knew he cared about you too.
It was written all over his features right now, as clear as spring water.
The rest of the ride to your shared apartment was spent in silence, with you dozing off, your head resting against the glass of the window even though it wasn’t comfortable at all. Haz woke you up gently when you arrived at your place.
“Can you walk to our flat?” he asked, as he always did.
And as you always answered you said you could. Both of you knew it probably was a lie, but it felt good to believe it.
Haz helped you to get to your flat, helping you out of your coat. He then guided you directly to your bed.
“Sleep now”, he ordered as you laid down on your bed.
You chuckled. You were already dozing off and the only reply you could mutter was: “Stay with me.”
You fell asleep before Haz sat in your bed, considering whether or not he should stay. Then he felt stupid to even consider not staying: it wasn’t the first time at all that you had napped together, why would this time be any different?
The reply came from deep within him, as he too was slowly dozing off. She is dying

Maybe you were, maybe you weren’t. Chemotherapy did that to people. It made them look like walking corpses, but sometimes, often even, it healed them. Maybe you looked as if you were dying but were you really?
That Haz didn’t have the answer to.
-
You woke up first, to the sound of something buzzing. Whether it was your cellphone or Haz’s you didn’t know. The only thing you knew was that Haz’s arm was wrapped around your waist and his face was nuzzled in the crook of your neck.
His hot breath tickled your neck as he exhaled and you couldn’t help but to giggle, which woke him up.
“Uhm?” Haz hummed, not moving from his position.
“You’re tickling me, you div”, you laughed as he sighed deeply.
The boy raised his head from your neck. “Oops, sorry.” His head fell back on the mattress.
Only then did he realize the position in which you were.
He hurriedly tried to get away from you, so quickly he almost tumbled down from the bed.
You laughed heartily at the sight. “You alright?” you asked.
He nodded quickly. “Yeah, sorry about that.”
“For what?” you enquired.
Haz gestured toward the bed. “I don’t know, for invading your privacy.”
You chuckled. “Invading my privacy? Haz, we’ve known each other since we were four, I don’t mind napping with you.”
“Uh yeah, right”, he said, looking away from you.
He picked up his cellphone from his night table.
“Oh shit”, he said. “Mom’s called me three times. It’s almost 7:30, we’ve gotta go quickly.”
You laughed, propping yourself up on your elbows.
“You need to fix your hair first, Osterfield”, you laughed.
He shot a look to himself in the mirror on your wall. “Right.” His gaze rested back on yours. “Be ready in five, darling.”
He walked out of your room and you groaned as you got up from your bed. You felt a little better now but you were still weak. The evening was going to be a long one, especially when tomorrow you were going to learn if you would live or die.
You saw your reflection in the mirror. As usual you had a moment where you couldn’t recognize yourself. You had lost your hair entirely about two or three months ago, not so long after you had begun your chemotherapy treatment. That had been the hardest part of it all. Because now each time you saw yourself in a mirror you only saw a ghost of you. An empty shell.
You sighed deeply, looking away from the mirror. You chose a pair of leggings along with one of Haz’s sweaters to wear. You hesitated to put your wig on but finally decided not to. It was only dinner with Haz’s family, which pretty much was your family at this point.
You walked out of your room slowly and were glad to see that Haz was walking towards you.
“You won’t believe the text I’ve just got”, Haz laughed.
He took his cellphone to read the text directly.
“Hey Hazzy, I wanted to know if you’d like to hang again”, he said.
“Hazzy? Who the fuck called you Hazzy?” you asked.
“Shelley”, he replied.
“Poor girl”, you laughed.
“Yup”, Haz chuckled. “She should have known better than to call me Hazzy.”
Haz wrapped an arm around your waist to help you to walk to the door where you successfully put your boots on without any help.
“When we were kids I always called you like that”, you remembered.
“Yeah, you did”, Haz laughed. “But it’s different coming from you. You’re you and you’re my best friend. Shirley is just
”
“Shelley”, you interjected.
Haz sighed deeply as you walked out of your flat. “Fuck, I keep forgetting.” He laughed. “I need to change.”
You shot him a questioning look. “What, why would you suddenly want to change?”
“Sleeping around is kinda fun but you know, it gets tiring”, he admitted.
“Am I crazy or Harrison Osterfield just said he wants to settle down?” you asked.
Haz shook his head. “Nah maybe just, you know, slow down the rhythm. Spend some time with the people that matter.”
You looked at him and your eyes lingered on his frame. He didn’t look at you but you weren’t stupid, you knew what he meant.
“Aren’t we supposed to be positive?” you whispered.
“We are”, Haz stated. “It’s just
 I don’t want you to think I was this asshole you know.”
“Haz, we’re in 2018”, you said. “You can sleep around if you want without that making you an asshole.” You paused. “Positive thinking. I won’t die. Tomorrow the doctors will say that the cancer has receded entirely and we’ll go to the pub.”
Haz laughed. “Yeah, we will, you’re right.”
Both of you didn’t feel quite right at the moment. But everything was going to be alright.
The evening went better than you had thought it would. Phil had made the salad you loved and you ate a bit, as much as you possibly could without feeling sick. Charlotte and you chatted together for almost an hour after the dinner, while Haz was talking with his mother and step-father outside in the yard.
You liked that: chatting with Charlotte. It made you feel normal. It made you feel healthy again. Because she never talked about your cancer, she never paid attention to what she was saying. She acted as if you were completely fine and it made you feel like you were. For a moment you forgot about the sword hanging over your head by a single thread and you were able to enjoy the moment.
Live in the moment. That’s what people told you. Live in the present, don’t think about what the future holds. It was easier to say than to do but with Charlotte it wasn’t so hard.
Although, at 11:55 PM, about an hour after you had gone back to your flat, the future came crashing down on you. Sitting on the kitchen floor, eating ice cream from the container, tears were streaming down your face at the thought that you would learn if you were going to live or to die tomorrow.
You heard Harrison getting out of the shower and you knew it was a question of time before he would walk in the kitchen to grab a snack before he’ll head to bed. You ate another scoop of ice cream before putting the container down, leaving your spoon in it. You dried your tears as best as you could as you heard the sound of Haz’s steps coming toward you.
“What are you doing here?” he said, chuckling.
Then he noticed your tear-stained cheeks and the ice cream container.
“Y/N, no”, he said, getting down on his knees in front of you. “Don’t cry, love.”
He pulled you into a hug and you hid your face in his chest, sobbing against him. He held you until you calmed down and then he helped you to get up.
“Come here, time to go to bed”, he softly said.
He offered you an arm and you wrapped your hand around his forearm. He guided you to your room.
“The ice cream is going to melt”, you stated, your voice tired.
“I don’t care, it’s time to go to bed”, he repeated.
You sat down on your bed.
“I’ll be right back”, he gently said.
As you waited for him to come back you lied down underneath your blanket, on your side, in that only position you felt comfortable enough to sleep in. A stray tear fell from the corner of your eye, climbing on the bridge of your nose before rolling down on the other side. It held all of your fears into what tomorrow would hold, all of your regrets in the life you had lived. Now, that wasn’t something you should be thinking. You weren’t dying right now and maybe, if you were lucky, tomorrow you would learn that you weren’t dying at all. Well, everybody is dying but maybe you wouldn’t die until you were old and grey and surrounded by your grandchildren.
Haz came back into your room. You noticed he had his pillow in his hands, along with a blanket.
“What are you doing?” you asked.
“I’m sleeping in your room tonight”, he replied.
“You know I have blankets and pillows in my bed”, you softly said.
“Yeah well, I’ll be sleeping on the ground so
” he started.
“What no”, you refused. “Get in, loser.” You pushed your blanket aside so he could get in and you looked at him.
“I went all the way to my room for nothing”, he pouted.
“Shut up and get in”, you said, chuckling lightly.
The chuckle got caught up in your throat and suddenly there were tears streaming down your cheeks again.
“Y/N, no.” He hurried to your bed, dropping his pillow and blanket on the ground.
“I’m scared, Haz”, you cried.
“I know, I know you are”, he whispered, wrapping both of his arms around your shaking frame. “Everything is going to be alright.”
You wanted to believe him but a part of you just couldn’t. But having his arms around you helped somehow.
“Thanks, Haz”, you breathed when your sobs died down.
“My pleasure, love”, he gently said. “I’m always there for you. Through thick and thin.”
“Through thick and thin”, you echoed.
There was laughter around you as you ran in the hallway, tears pricking at your eyes. The words Caleb had said had hurt you deeply, but the laughter was worse. You thought Caleb loved you, but apparently you were wrong.
You ran out of the school, almost bumping into someone. You didn’t recognise them through the wall of tears in your eyes but you heard the familiar voice shouting your name as you ran away.
Haz followed you, unable to stop you until you reached your houses.
“Y/N, what’s going on?” he asked.
You turned around to look at him. “Caleb’s a fucking asshole, he’s just dumped me in front of the whole school.”
Haz grabbed you by the arm and pulled you gently towards his house. “Come, we’ll sit in the yard.”
You settled down on the trampoline, as you usually did. You sat cross-legged in front of Haz.
“So, do you want to talk about it?” he asked once you were both settled down..
“He said that I was a stupid bitch to think that he ever cared about me”, you explained. “In front of the whole fucking school.”
“That guy was an asshole from the beginning”, Haz said. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”
New tears rolled down your cheeks. “My life’s a mess”, you said. “Dad’s always mad at me lately and now my boyfriend’s dumped me. What am I supposed to do?”
“Well
” Haz said. “You still have me.”
You held his gaze even though he was blurred by your tears.
“I’m just scared I’m going to end up losing everyone”, you said, covering your face with your hands as you started to sob again.
Haz moved to sit next to you and he put an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer. You cried against him until your tears stopped.
“You’re never going to lose me, love. I’ll always be there for you”, Haz whispered as you glanced up at him. “Through thick and thin.”
-
You woke up early the next morning, with Haz’s arms still wrapped loosely around you. For a moment the echoes of your dream made you feel as if you were still fifteen and you were confused as to why you were in Haz’s arms. Then you remembered that seven years had come and gone since that day. And that you had cancer.
It’s strange really. How each morning when you woke up you didn’t remember it. Each morning you momentarily felt calm and peaceful, until it all came crashing back down. Today was no different, only that maybe you were going to learn that you had healed. That you were no longer sick.
If there was a God in the big white clouds up in the sky, you hoped that he could hear your prayers. As you were lying in Haz’s arms, you prayed that your cancer had finally receded and that you could finally hope to finish your degree. You hoped you would be able to live the life you wanted to live: marry someone and have children and maybe a dog or two. You wanted to visit the world too, to see all of its beauty. Actually, there were a lot of things you wanted to do before you died and most of them took time. So you prayed to be given the time you needed.
Haz woke up a couple of minutes after you, as you tried to get out of his grip to go to the toilet. His eyes fluttered opened and for a moment you got lost in the sea they held. Eighteen years. You had known the boy for eighteen years and you were still mesmerized by his eyes.
“Good morning”, he breathed.
“Morning, Haz”, you replied.
He rolled to lay on his back, freeing you from his arms at the same time.
“What time is it?” he asked.
You shot a look to the alarm clock next to your bed.
“7:45”, you replied. “Gotta get ready.”
The boy groaned a little. “Would rather stay in bed with you all day.”
“With me?” you repeated, suddenly feeling a rush of blood to your cheeks.
“Yeah, no, yeah”, Haz answered, a little bit of pink coloring his own cheeks.
You laughed. “You div, I’m your best friend, not one of the other girls you see.”
Haz opened his eyes to look at you. “Right.” Still, a smile tugged at the corner of his lips and you smiled at the sight.
Flirting. If you could call that flirting. It had been this way ever since you were old enough to actually know what flirting was. It was harmless, really, and it made you feel good. You liked that friendly flirt with Haz because it had never turned into something more than that. You had always liked Haz a lot, but it was platonic. Definitely platonic. To you, he was just like a brother. You always joked with him that Tom would have better chances with you because you weren’t as close to him as you were to Haz. Not that you wanted to have something with Tom, he wasn’t your type of guy.
Whenever Haz was in town, he was the one accompanying you to your appointments. Luckily enough for you, he had been in town for a couple of weeks now, having projects to do in London. Although, when he wasn’t, Phil accompanied you. Harry and Sam had come once too, but that was pretty much it. You didn’t blame them: hospitals were scary and you had always been closer to their big brother. But Tom never had the time to accompany you and then again you were way closer to Haz than to Tom. And usually, if Tom was in town that meant Haz was there too so unless he was tagging along with you and Haz, Tom never came with you. Not that he didn’t want to, he was just extremely busy and he didn’t want to bring the attention of the paparazzi on you, which you were extremely thankful for.
With Haz though, it was different. He wasn’t famous like Tom was and although sometimes girls recognized him, most of the time they didn’t. So you could live your peaceful life without someone in the media talking about that sick girl Tom Holland was probably dating. Because that’s what the media did with Tom: every time he was friends with a girl they said he dated her. With Harrison, that never happened.
About forty minutes later, you were on your way to the hospital. Weirdly enough, you were extremely hungry this morning, which sucked because you couldn’t eat. And a part of you hoped it was a good sign. If your appetite had come back, maybe that meant everything was going to be alright.
You didn’t chat a lot in the car, both of you dreading the moment you’d be passing your MRI. You were scared about the outcome but at the same time you couldn’t stop thinking that the world couldn’t be so cruel as to do this to you. It couldn’t be cruel enough for you to still be sick and this time without any hopes of getting better.
Maybe that’s the reason why none of you talked. You were both too scared to say the words on your mind. To voice the fear that you were going to die. And maybe you shouldn’t have thought this, maybe you should have been more hopeful. But would it have really changed the end result?
You were in a haze all along. Maybe that was your armour against the words the doctors spoke. To hide yourself in some dark corner of your mind. And it helped. Just a little. You didn’t scream, you didn’t cry, you didn’t do anything. You stared into the doctor’s eyes until it was time to go. If it hadn’t been for Harrison you probably wouldn’t have moved from your chair in front of the doctor’s desk.
You didn’t say a word at all for the next hours. You just stayed in that haze you were lost in because the harshness of the cruel world couldn’t reach you there. Harrison, on the other hand, felt completely lost. He tried to talk to you more than once, to tell you that there might be some experimental treatment and that you shouldn’t lose hope but you never reacted. You didn’t react when he shed a tear, which he never did. You didn’t react when he yelled at you to say something, to stop being emotionless. You didn’t react when he left you alone in your room, tired of not being able to get you to look at him and to see him and to open up to him.
You didn’t move until much later that day. Until a thought cut through the haze in which your mind was. You thought about all that you wanted to do in life, about all that you were never going to be able to do. The doctors had said that you luckily should have a couple of months to live still. Were a couple months enough to live your life?
You grabbed your notebook, your diary, which was hidden underneath your mattress. You took a pencil and you frantically scribbled a list. And the more you wrote the more ideas you got. The list got longer and you knew there were too many things on it. So you took what seemed less interesting out, you took what you knew you wouldn’t have the time to do out.
And although you knew by the sounds in the flat that Harrison wasn’t alone, you added another line to your list, one that you knew would probably never happen. When you were done, you sat back in your bed. You went through the list once or twice, making sure you were okay with everything that was on there. And you were.
You wondered for a moment if you should call your dad. To tell him you were going to die. You didn’t. He hadn’t told you about your mother, why would he deserve to know about you?
You also wondered if you should tell someone. With all the money in your bank account, you knew it was possible for you to leave tomorrow but with all the things on your list you knew you never would be able to come back. It got you to wonder if you wanted to die alone. Nobody wants to die alone and you weren’t any different. So you decided to wait until tomorrow to talk to Haz. Although you had other friends, none were him and if you were to die, you wanted it to be next to him.
You knew he probably wouldn’t want to come with you. He had other plans in life, why would he give up on his own life to live the rest of yours with you?
You looked through your window. You could see London in the distance and the sky was slowly turning gold as the morning sun lazily rose over the beautiful city you called home. And that’s when it all hit you: even though you were going to die, the sun would still shine, and it would continue to rise and shine for the rest of eternity. It made you feel small, really, and you felt at peace for the first time in months.
Now that you knew you were going to die, it was time to live your best life for what little time you had left.
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scottrunsultras · 6 years ago
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Never Summer 100k recap
Wow.  Where to begin?  I’ll start by saying that this was by far the hardest race that I’ve ever run.  I realize that I DNF’ed Leadville last year.  But if it wasn’t for my terrible hydration management, I have no doubt that I would have finished that.  Never Summer is at roughly the same altitude as Leadville, has the same amount of vert but crammed into only 2/3 of the distance, and is orders of magnitude more technical.  I wanted a challenge this year since I was still reeling a little from Leadville last summer.  Finishing the Javelina 100 was a nice little bounce-back.  But I wanted to prove to myself that I could handle a real, difficult, high mountain ultra.  This definitely qualified.
Despite all of the hand-wringing in previous blog posts about my dead quads, my legs felt pretty good.  The taper seemed to do exactly what I needed it to do.  Because I was super excited and energized and my body felt reasonably strong.  Though one thing that I really screwed up was sleep.  I’m a notoriously bad pre-race sleeper and I tell people all the time that I never sleep before races and it always turns out fine.  Well, I really tested that this year.  I think I slept very close to 0 minutes the night before this race.  I was camping out and had nothing to do.  So I was in bed by 8:00.  I felt pretty drowsy so I figured that maybe I’d actually sleep.  But everyone else was still awake.  So I dozed a little for maybe an hour - constantly being woken up by people and cars.  And after that, I didn’t sleep again.  At about 3:40, I got tired of laying there and got up.  I felt super energized, but that could only last for so long.  The good news is that I was able to rest my legs, but also keep them loose.  So I actually felt pretty good when the race started.  No heel soreness or quad issues.
The race started with a couple of easy miles and then a monster climb.  And I got a quick preview of what the rest of the race would be like.  Rocks everywhere and steep climbs and descents.  We’d climb to the top of a mountain and just come down the side of it.  No switchbacks here.  I maybe ran the very few easy sections a little harder than I should.  For some reason I can’t seem to convince myself that my standard pacing doesn’t apply at 10,000 feet.  At least not at the beginning.  So my legs were already beat by the mid teens.  But they came back leading into the Diamond aid station at mile 17 and I was able to get in a few good miles before the real fun started.
The Diamond Peak ascent is the crux of this race and the thing that everyone talks about.  Like Maiden Peak in the Waldo 100k and Hope Pass in the Leadville 100.  In all it’s a 2200 foot climb in 2.2 miles.  But it’s the final climb that was hard to comprehend.  Strava claims it was a 40% grade but that feels low.  It was a 600 foot climb in 1/3 of a mile directly up the side of the mountain - up to a max elevation of 11,900 feet.  It’s hard to describe how difficult it was - and it took forever.  But it’s definitely one of those moments that I won’t forget.
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After summiting Diamond we ran along the ridge line over lesser peaks for about 3 miles, getting blasted with 60 mph winds and sideways hail - since it seems impossible to ever be on a ridge line in Colorado without catching bad weather.  Once off the ridge, running down a rugged jeep trail I spent a couple of miles talking to another runner about various races.  She had run this before and told me the last 20 miles suck because they’re boring and runnable.  It sounded great to me.  At that point it became a mantra of mine to just survive until mile 44 and then take advantage of the easier finish - hoping that it actually was an easier finish.  That made me a little less bummed out when I was struggling.
There was a 10 mile gap between aid stations starting at around mile 30 and that ended up being the hardest part of the race for me.  With the much hyped Diamond Peak ascent behind me, it became yet another super rocky and technical climb back up above the tree line.  I was really starting to feel the fatigue of not sleeping at this point and I was feeling the abuse of 30+ rocky miles on my feet.  I felt okay from a metabolic and strength standpoint and I wasn’t nauseous at all.  But physically the race had taken its toll and I started to mentally lose optimism.  I was well beyond hoping for a strong finish that I’d secretly hoped for (sub 17:00) and was starting to doubt my main goal of finishing before midnight (sub 18:30).  I wasn’t really able to run anything at this point.  I struggle on rocks to begin with and my feet were hurting enough to make me even worse.  To top off a brutal stretch, I got completely blasted by a thunderstorm a mile or so before the aid station in a completely exposed section of jeep road.
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It was a 5 mile out and back to Clear Lake from the next aid station.  1600 feet up and then back down again.  I was feeling super negative at this point.  But I still had hope that the trail would magically get easier after this.  So I started digging into the bag of tricks (meds) to try to turn my race around.  I fear taking too much caffeine because I don’t want to burn myself up.  But at this point I was ready for the extra boost.  I also started taking advil for the low grade heel pain and feet full of blisters.  I got a little boost when at the top of Clear Lake, they told me I was #99 out of something like 340 starters.  At this point I thought I was in the back half, so that was cool.  By the time I got back down to the aid station, I was feeling better and I was ready for the easy part.
And it actually was easy.  At least the 6 miles to the next aid station was pretty easy and I ran (shambled/shuffled) almost all of it.  The trail smoothed out quite a bit, with very few rocks.  Though there was a lot of mud in places and several river crossings.  The mud in my shoes and socks really didn’t help my trashed feet.  But this was bliss compared to what I’d been running on.
I had these visions of cruising flattish, easy sections to the finish.  Those visions never really became a reality.  From 50 to 56 was a 900 foot climb and from 56 to 62 was a 1000 foot climb - this one back on semi-rugged terrain.  But I had found it in me to slow-jog basically all of the downhills and flats and slower-jog/power hike all of the ups.  I was averaging around 12:00-13:00 miles on the downs and flats and 14:00-16:00 on the gentle ups.  And the same-day finish started to look like it could be a reality again.  The last 2.2 miles actually was the flat cruising that I had hoped for.  I crossed the finish in 18:13:50.  Good for #87 of 341 starters (26th percentile).  
Again, super hard race.  But it was exactly what i wanted to prove to myself that I could do.  I DNFed Leadville last year because I couldn’t dial in my hydration and nutrition at high altitude.  I had that nailed.  Three ultras in a row finishing in the top 30%.  I feel like I’ve actually gotten better this year after 3 years of standing still or going backwards since the magical summer of 2014.  I’m still a mid-pack ultra runner, but now I’m becoming an upper-mid-pack ultra runner.  Also, a strong finish after historically falling apart at the end of races and having to walk in easy sections.  I came out of the North Fork 50 the first weekend in June with a plan of how I’d train for this race, and it seems to have worked very well.  I actually feel super satisfied with this.  Sure it would have been nice to go sub-18:00 or hit some other arbitrary mark.  But running very technical terrain is something that I’ve always struggled with and is made worse by my heel injuries.  So I think I hit my 2018 potential. 
So what’s next?  In 2 weeks I’m running the Steamboat Stinger trail marathon in Steamboat Springs.  The next weekend I’m pacing a friend in the Leadville 100.  Then 2 weeks after that I’m running the Grand Traverse from Crested Butte to Aspen.  The original plan was then to run the Javelina 100 again at the end of October.  But now I’m second guessing that.  I feel like I could have a nice improvement over last year and it’s a fun race.  But I have big plans for next year.  I’m definitely running Leadville again in August 2019 and the plan is to earn my first Hardrock 100 lottery ticket with the Bighorn 100 in June.  I’m thinking it may be a smarter idea to finish my 2018 ultra season in Aspen and get an early start on an off-season of heel rehab, getting faster, and cutting body fat.  I have at least a month to think about it.
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jamie-leah · 7 years ago
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Soul Reader-Part 5
Bucky x Reader 
Summary:  You find out that you are a soul reader, only you don’t know what that means. Can the Avengers help you figure it out and keep you out of harms way? Soulmate AU
Word count: 2451
Warnings: Swearing probably, not entirely sure what else sorry folks 
A/N: I have had a week from hell which is why this has taken so long to be put up and I’m so sorry!! Hopefully you’re still with me and this story and I hope you enjoy it!! Tags are OPEN 
Soul Reader Masterlist     Series Masterlist    One shot Masterlist 
You woke up with a jolt, your chest heavy and sweat starting to bead on your forehead. You felt a tugging on your chest and you looked down with wide eyes as you saw the midnight line shaking slightly. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes as you looked at the time, 2:36am. You frowned as the line started shaking more and the tugging on your chest started making it harder to breathe. You got out of bed and followed the line, further and further it took you down the hall. You didn’t think anyone was this far down, that was until you heard muffled screaming. Your hands immediately became slick and your heart was shaking in time to the midnight line. It led to a door that was slightly ajar and the screams became louder. When you stood outside the door you saw through the crack Steve trying to restrain Bucky’s flailing arms, “Buck. Bucky wake up, you’re not there anymore, I’m here”. The tugging became more intense in your chest as you found yourself pushing the door open and Steve whipped around in surprise, “Y/N, what are you doing here?”. You ignore him as you move closer to Bucky’s flailing body. Steve turns back to Bucky, trying to hold him down and soothe him with words but it doesn’t seem to work and the tugging in your chest starts to tighten. You act on an instinct inside yourself when you close your eyes and picture yourself inside your soul again. The only colour shining brightly is the midnight blue, shaking violently. You reach a shaking hand out towards it and touch the line. It stops shaking as you feel a wave of intense pain and sadness wash over you. When you open your eyes you’re on your knees, body shaking as Steve looks panicked, looking from you to a very still Bucky. You gasp loudly as if you were holding your breath under water. You feel a tear slide down your face as you clutch your chest. You feel your chest becoming lighter and the room coming back into focus as you see Steve kneeling down in front of you, a look of concern that seems permanently etched onto his face tonight. You vaguely hear him asking if you’re okay and you nod your head as Bucky murmurs Steve’s name. Steve helps you up and then goes over to Bucky who has his eyes open but looks out of it. Steve finally gets Bucky to focus and that’s when he spots you standing in the room, one hand still on your chest. His voice sounds harsh when he says, “what are you doing in here?”. You would feel hurt by his words if the room wasn’t spinning. Your head is pounding, and your vision goes blurry as you reach out to steady yourself but find nothing. Just when you think you’ll be meeting the floor for the second time that night you feel an arm slide around your waist. The last thing you see before darkness rises up to meet you is the blue fire of Bucky’s eyes.
You’re standing on a beach. The waves are crashing on the shore as the sun beats down, making the water glint. You feel calm as you breathe in the salty air and feel the wind blow your hair lightly. Your eyes snap open when you hear the voice of your Grandma, “about goddamn time that you answered my call”. You look around until you spot your grandma looking healthy as ever but seems translucent with a halo of white around the edges. You look down at yourself and see that you look solid, so many questions came to mind but your grandma beat you to it, “now you listen here missy, we don’t have much time so I’m going to say what I came here to say and then I’ll be on my way. You’re fighting it. You’re fighting your gift and its making everything more difficult. I know you didn’t believe me when I told you the stories, but you need to start believing me now. Unblock your soul Buttercup, let the power in. I know you’re scared and you feel alone but the harder you resist the more pain you’ll be in”. She cups your cheek and it feels like a feather brushing along your skin. You close your eyes as you say, “its hard grandma, not having you around. I don’t know what to do”. She shushes you in a soothing voice, matching the sound the sea makes as it laps against the shore. The edges started to become darker and you had this feeling that time was running out, “trust your instincts, ours are better than most. I’m proud of you Buttercup”.
Your eyes flutter open to an empty room. You make out that you’re in med bay as you unhook yourself from all the machines. One of them starts beeping like crazy but you ignore it. You hate hospitals, even though this wasn’t a hospital it still gave you that feeling, the feeling you remember when your mother died. Some people in white coats come rushing through the door but you ignore their pleas to sit back down. You push past them and head down the hall until you find an elevator and stumble inside, still shaky on your legs. You push the button for your floor as you close your eyes and try to concentrate. Were you dreaming? What was that? Was it real? You had so many questions swirling around in your head when it hit you, it doesn’t matter whether it was real or a dream either way your grandma was right, you were fighting your gifts. You hadn’t learnt to accept them yet because you were still afraid of it. So, it begged the question, how do you stop fighting it? How do you unblock your soul? You’re too caught up in your thoughts to notice the elevator doors opening and revealing Tony standing there with a shocked expression. You bump into him as he places his hands on your shoulders to steady you and speaks over your mumbled apologies, “Y/N, what are you doing out of med bay? I was just on my way to see you. Barnes just left on a misson and that’s when you decide to wake up? When no one is in your room?”. You look at Tony’s half amused and half concerned face before saying softly, “I don’t like hospitals
they remind me too much of my mum”. Tony studies you a while longer before putting his arm around your shoulder as he steers you towards your room, “I can see that something else is bothering you?”. Despite yourself you find that you’re nodding your head at him, “if I tell you though, it’ll sound stupid aloud”. He shrugs his shoulders while he squeezes yours. You carry on, having a feeling that Tony will just laugh, “I had a vision? A dream? An encounter? I’m not sure what to call it but I spoke to my Grandma”. He stops you outside your room and peers at you seriously, “that doesn’t sound stupid coming from a soul reader”. You look up at him and scrutinise his face to see if he was messing with you, but you just saw soft concern on his face, it was kind of unsettling. He nodded you to carry on and so you did, “she said that I was fighting my gifts, that my soul is blocked up, but I don’t know how to unblock it. I don’t know what to do?”. Tony looked thoughtful for a few moments and looked at you without really seeing you. When he finally came back to himself he said, “I find that mediating can help
and if you tell anyone I do that I’ll deny it and then I’ll kill you, but I find it usually lets me focus and unblocks my mind. Perhaps it’ll work for your soul. I also think closure can unblock you”. You give him a quizzical look before he carries on, “your grandma. You haven’t buried her yet”. Tears spring to your eyes and you hate yourself for it as you say, “I can’t afford it”. Tony starts to vigorously shake his head, “nope, no way, nuh uh. Even before you accepted to be apart of us I would have done it if you asked. Consider it done okay? Just plan the funeral, no matter how expensive it is, I don’t care”. You take a moment before replying, not trusting your voice to stay steady, “thank you Tony, it means a lot to me. I’ve actually already got it planned out. Can I give you the details, so you can arrange it? I think I’m going to be meditating for a while”. You walk in your room and go over to your desk. You pull out the plans you made and handed them to Tony and he took them with a sad smile. Just before he left the room you called out to him, he turned towards you as you landed a soft kiss on his cheek. He looked surprised for a moment before ruffling your hair and walking out, closing the door with a soft click.
 You meditated for two days. You didn’t see anyone during that time and you drank and ate out of necessity. Tony was right, it helped to some degree, you could switch on the colours with less pain and the midnight line became less fuzzy, but you could feel it still. You could feel like your soul was still blocking out the powers to some extent. You tried to not let it get to you and focus on the progress you did actually make. By the time you thought meditation had served its purpose you looked at the clock: 9:23pm. Everyone would have had dinner by now and you felt a pang in your stomach not only from hunger but from missing your friends and hanging out with them. You padded down the hall and made your way to the kitchen, thinking about all the food you were going to make, when you stopped short. Bucky was shirtless, sitting at the island, with a bunch of medical supplies around him. He was struggling to get to a knife wound on his shoulder. You couldn’t help the small gasp that left your mouth, either at the fact he was hurt or that he was shirtless you didn’t know, but you were going on the safe side and saying both. Bucky looked up sharply, his stormy eyes looking right at you, his face softens at the sight of you and he murmurs your name, dropping his hand to the countertop. You make your way over to him, glancing away from his intense gaze as you say hi meekly. You get to his shoulder and wince at the nasty looking cut. You look at him with concern and he gives you a lopsided smile as he says, “it’s not as bad as it looks”. You throw a disapproving look before taking the antiseptic wipe from his hand. You gesture to his shoulder like a question and he nods, never taking his eyes from you as you start to dab at the wound. He shifts at the slight pain, but he doesn’t make a sound. Once you’re finished you say, “its pretty deep, I’m assuming you didn’t want to go to med bay for some reason so, I can stitch it for you
if you want me to?”. He stares at you for a long time and you think he’s going to say no but he hands you the equipment to start stitching, he throws another small smile at you saying, “are you sure you know what you’re doing?”, this time you laugh at his joke and you notice his smile starting to reach his eyes as you reply, “you ask me that question after handing me the supplies to do it?”. And just like that the bad tension between the two of you dissipates and it feels easy to be in each other’s presence again. But you know there’s one thing you need to address before you can fully go back to normal. So, you start to mention it as you start to work on his shoulder to distract him, “hey, so look, I’m really sorry for intruding in your room the other night I- “. Bucky cuts you off by shaking his head, “no, don’t. I’m the one that should be sorry, I didn’t mean to speak to you like that-“, you cut him off this time saying, “hey, don’t be sorry, you had just had a nightmare, of course you were gonna be like that”. He studies your face for a while, watching you work on his shoulder. He waits for you to finish before capturing your hands in his, “lets just both say we’re sorry and draw a line under it. I want to thank you, for coming to help me, Steve wasn’t sure how you did but he said you were the one that finally got me to snap out of a particularly bad nightmare
”, you squeeze his hands before he can dwell on the nightmare too long, “its no problem Buck, I want to help. It may sound crazy since we haven’t known each other very long but I feel closer to you than anyone else
”. You feel yourself blush profusely at your late-night confession, but you know it was the right decision to tell him when he breaks into a beaming smile and nods his agreement. You pull away from his hands as you walk over to the fridge, “are you hungry? Because as nice as it was to patch you up, I came in here to eat”, you pull out two pizzas and turn around with a grin which he returns. So, you put them in the oven and start pulling plates out when he asks, “are you feeling better now? I didn’t know what was wrong when you blacked out
”, his voice sounded a little ragged and you smiled at the concern he had for you. You turn around and go to the island on the opposite side to him, “I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t fine, I’d still be in med bay”, you give him a cheeky smile, but he doesn’t return it as he stays serious, “are you okay though?”. It was a loaded question, he was staring at you so intently that you couldn’t look away. You wanted to lie, if it was anyone else you would have, “I’m not sure Buck, but I think I’m getting there”.
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