#its all about doing shit i dont really know how to do but fake it till u make it right
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darlingfreddie · 3 months ago
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applied for a library job lets all hope I actually get it
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dykedvonte · 7 months ago
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I dislike takes that Danse would be just as conservative in modernized aus when it's clearly shown his staunch views of things come from his time in the Brotherhood and his deep-rooted desire to belong to something with a greater purpose.
Not to mention lines that show much more open-mindedness that get overlooked for his harsher sentiments when you first meet him. Like the oppurtunity to be a part of something is why Danse fell so far into Brotherhood dogma and it doesn't negate the offense things he does but I feel like it's just lazy to be like "hmmm he'd def be racist" just so it aligns to his BoS beliefs.
#like i genuinely think he would like not fall into the military if he was in modern times because of all the other things he could do#he clearly has a passion for tech and mods and likely would find himself more useful as like a mechanic like at most hes one of those range#types or something but I feel like people equate his seriousness and him being a military man to closemindedness when its like having to ge#a new view point like we really dont know what he believed in before the BoS if he believed in anything at all outside of selling scrap to#survive before basically having an army recruiter have him join one of the scariest factions like why is the BoS so fucking violent???#like the BoS operates in such a way cause there is no civilian population like everyone is something or training to be so they arent really#fighting for anything but themselves at this point which is just a feedback loop of gaining more power and is not equatable to real#military people due to the fact most of the recruits are really born and bred to be soliders while say irl you have a family and country to#fight for and return to outside the military which is def grounding as Danse wouldn't be in the army 24/7 like in canon#idk its odd to me when a character that is has fantastic racism ergo the trope of bigotry to fake races people try to translate it to real#life especially when those races have not equivalent like tell me what is the irl equal to a fucking ghoul or super mutant like????#racism is not like a funny headcanon like making him a defrosting prude or by the book is whatever but he would not be a bigot just like a#narc or some shit hed tell on me for loitering but I know hed tear apart each voting party and likely the military for being self serving#and like knows all about it and it makes him sound like a politics nut but its more annoyance like I have such strong feelings about#characters who would be marginially better if they were not victums to the military like yes I believe we can fix Danse he just needs to#be around not war/the military for like a week and see people be happy existing like he doesnt know how to do that but this is a weird take#ive seen mostly from white fans that makes me super uncomfy like ur weird#anyway still fuck the brotherhood everyone is so rude like damn i know its the east coast but can we get a little hospitality fuck you#maccready was right brotherhood of squeal more like it dont worry porky we'll get you out (danse is porky btw)#fallout#fallout 4#fo4#paladin danse
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asklesbianonceler · 4 months ago
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I have not posted any of my analysis to reddit yet and I think I might just post it and ghost it. I've already spent too much time looking at other people's threads on there to feel any way good about interacting with folks.
I already went in an added the "I know you're going to bring this up let me save you the time" section which is exclusively touching on the frequent topics of:
"well what about the fingerprint nostrum and finger mimics? He is clearly just a crackpot"
And
"it's definitely some weird elaborate sacrifice to Metyr thing"
#if he's drinking hallucinogenic tea in his free time genuinely good for him. whatever man. i just do not think either of those items are-#at all relevant to the quest especially the nostrum because it is a placebo medicine and aint nothing fake about this shit#also i think theres a distinction between becoming fingers vs wanting to replace metyr? idk like as ive said i think he thinks he's-#better than the fingerweavers and rightfully so#like please come to a new conclusion other than “man this guy is on drugs”#also girl... metyr doesnt need sacrifices. like? where is that textually or in set design? metyr wants us to leave her the fuck alone#she's minding her own business EVERY TIME WE SPAWN INTO HER ZONE#like why are people so desperate for everything to have a dark undercurrent? not everything has to be some dark disney ass shit#“actually finding nemo is a hallucination & Marlin is insane & nemo is dead that movie is actually super fucked up & dory is a grim reaper”#like im sorry but this is how this extra shit all feels to me#like it is already fucked up and miserable?#is he 100% a good person? like thats genuinely person to person. theres personal gain from the quest#and hes definitely very good at getting what he wants#manipulate manifest mother#tail fingers on the vision board#devon yaps#and yap I did#like I don't want to be a bitch because yeah we should genuinely celebrate other peoples theories and hcs in these games#but i dont think “lol this guy is just on drugs” is one of those things#because i like spooky theories if theyre backed up.#but to say “its this weirdly horrible thing and youre all wrong” especially in his context is not great to me#Sorry. like may my own arrogance strike me down like the scholar i think i am 😤 farewell#because again its coming down to meeting this narrative without preconceived bias and most of the reddit stuff feels like-#“he is fucked up. won't say why. but i bet you know why i actually think this 🤫🤫🤫” like just you cant wrap your brain around guy mom#i do really want to reiterate this is about reddit shit. like i am so into people who love his character but interpret him more sinister💕😚#truly eating that shit up
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dirt-str1der · 7 days ago
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That post is still pretty active so i have to scroll past that guys bloated festering corpse every time i want to see someones new reply
#Listen to my problems#so im always thinking about it .... they were literally just trying to match my energy they were the most enthusiastic person on the post#i would almost feel bad but their opinions were so trash that i didnt know how to respond in a nice way. i tried really hard but i think you#just hate women. and then i see their idea for a femslash ship and yepp you hate women#lowkey some characters should come with a do not separate label or at lesst with the understanding that they will continue being the most#important people in each others lives even if they choose to date elsewhere ... if there is no ship that can beat canon then you must#be doing something wrong ... provide some better rationale idk ... some pairings feel very cheap and soulless because youve fundamentally#misunderstood the character ... but also im in constant agony because theyre the only person who mentioned kohahyo and i fCKING LOVEkohahyo#but they called it hyohaku so its over and we cant be friends#WHY DID THEY HAVE TO BE THE ONLY ONE ITS SO OVER COME ONNNNN GUYS#the whole reason i signalled for hetships is because i was waiting for kohahyo ... but nobody came ... except that one guy#and i blocked them for being enthusiastic and friendly because i found their opinions so revolting#huh actually thats another thing ... nobody has listed any really problematic ships yet but then again a good portion of people consider#TKSN to be problematic as if youve never broken the neck of your crush before whatever man. wait sorry this is a s/g hate post now hehe ! i#just remembered that s/g shippers like saying 'senku would never fall for his killer!' as rationale for why they refuse to ship it even#after season 2 (thats when they lost so they all doubled down instead of switching) oh my god wait i just thought of that one dj series#okay no i have to finish this thought before its gone. they sound like they dont even believe it because there ARE s/g enemies to lovers aus#out there so the enemies part isnt a real problem you guys just dont want to admit when youre beat honestly this is why early game ships are#so hard becsuse you never know if this guy is gonna be his parallel forever or only sometimes. so im thankful to stanxe for being tksns#parallel to keep it relevant and alive forever and ever and ever male anglerfish style. but yeah s/g fans have no real reason to hate tksn#because tsukasa is fucking awesome so they cant say hes not good enough for senku and thats why they keep parroting that line. even if ...#like if you know senkus character you already KNOW it doesnt matter shit nor fuck to him so the fake reason you gave is ooc and wrong also#but then again thats why theyre so happy because they have enough people to just do whatever they want. much like something else#i need to finish that fic for valentines day
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jackass-jones · 11 months ago
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Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨
#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me#but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk#just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more#fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person#to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever#i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better#but also way worse at the same time#i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely#but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped#cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out#i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want#its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake#cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it#ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else#im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there#then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that#crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening#and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil#the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me#its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything#aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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Quite honestly, i think people just dont like to acknowledge how many times i have been victimized bc it doesnt work for their narrative of the Scary Bad Trans Guy With No Regard For Others And Likes To Kick Puppies And Doesnt Know Real Pain Or Trauma
#bc otherwise yall would have to feel bad about putting me through way more additional unnecessary trauma on here#and i swear its yall who believe everything my abuser says about me. you need to tell yourself its true that i did the shit they accuse me#of and theyre just this pure uwu innocent pewson who doews no wongg umu#yall dont wanna except ive been through hell bc then you gotta accept youve put me through additional unnecessary hell that only warped my#perception worse of a community i thought i was fuckin part of and accepted in but apparently tf not#like you only have yourselves to blame for that shit. for why i hate online queer spaces now.#man it would just suck so so hard for your narrative if i was actually abused as much as i say and my abusive x was actually lying about me#bc otherwise how will you pretend trans men never ever experience any issues ever?#like i dont need to look. ik im one of the main blogs yall like to target and put on blast for transandrophobia stuff bc im super fuckin#outspoken about my shit (nevermind that yall never directly confront me). i already know thats how it is bc theres ppl on here who have a#apparently deep interest in constantly hating me and trying to find reasons im wrong. so when i say something is bad they habe to act like#its good actually somehow. and ik it all roots back to my abuser. there is literally no other reason i can think of that would mame ppl#that invested in hating me unless they believe everything my ex says. so undoubtedly theres ppl in my exs spaces who believe#transandrophobia is fake men arent oppressed ever etc etc. i digress. but ik its yall who've propped this whole shit up#ik its yall who put me on blast for this first and triwled to spread it that i was one of the Big Bad Names in the transandrophobia spaces#so ik yall use me as an example. ik you tell people i lie about everything. ik you tell people i exaggerate. ik you tell people im crazy#ik you tell ppl they cant trust me or rely on me and spread all the bs my ex says about me and even spreads their abuse toward me further#by even doing that shit. yall NEED to keep believing that im the Big Bad Trans Guy that you think i am bc otherwise your whole worldview#falls tf apart. everything you've been standing on online about how trans mascs who believe in transandrophobia are bad would fall apart.#if i am really as fuckin abused and victimized as i say. suddenly you dont get to use me as the example for Bad Transandrophobia Believer#and I KNOW thats the only reason yall choose not to listen or believe us. its LITERALLY just because you're choosing a side in a personal#relationship situation. ik it has nothing to do with politics for plenty of you. you're taking a side and shitting out reasons for why you#did after the fact.#if you really care about politics n shit you should listen to ALL THE OTHER TRANS MEN TALKING ABOUT THIS#besides using one person as your example for why you shouldnt believe people who believe this is a thing.#i mean. even aside the fucking fact that its all bs. if yall dont wanna believe me. whatever. you can get traumatized by them if you want#idefc at this point. if you actually care about politics as much as you say you gotta engage w people in good faith and uh maybe try n#listen to the SWATHES of other trans guys who also talk about this shit and thinks its real.
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gibbearish · 1 year ago
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it is fun when u comment on a post on reddit and someones like "ummmm look what sub youre in" like no i know. i just think what you said is dumb enough that i'm willing to get downvoted to tell you that
#EVEN IN A SELF PIERCING GROUP DOING YOUR OWN SMILEY IS NEEDLESSLY DUMB!!!#like im of the opinion that self piercing for sure has risks and isn't something that should be encouraged but also that#people have the right to assess that and decide if theyre good with that#like i pierced my own ears bc thats about the lowest risk one you can do (see: claires)#obviously its not NO risk so again i dont think people should be encouraged to. but also people are going to do it#you're never gonna stop ppl from self piercing‚ even if you took all the needles and guns off of amazon and wish n whatnot#people would (and do) just Find Other Pointy Things#so with that i believe while it shouldnt be encouraged‚ there are ways to minimize the risks that should be like#publicly available information. cause if ur never gonna be able to stop it you might as well make it as safe as you can#but your SMILEY??? YOUR FUCKING SMILEY?????#like anything in the mouth really is just. stupid dangerous to do yourself no matter how many precautions you take#ex did you know it is not difficult to fuck up a tongue piercing so bad you bleed out#like you dont even have to do anything wrong either‚ you can do it perfectly and just Happen to have a vein right where you stab#and because its so close to your heart it has a Lot of blood flow#like theres a guy i follow on youtube who's been told by multiple piercers he can never get a tongue piercing#specifically because he would straight up die#absolutely not. never ever in 1000 years. straight up it would be more responsible to do your own dermals with no training#than to pierce shit in ur own mouth with no training and i will die on this hill fuck my fake internet points
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noisy-weasel · 2 years ago
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When you can't play the main story because you're too weak and you can't catch up on hard mode 3 chapters behind because you're still too weak and you can't play the event because you're too weak and farming levels is a horrible part time job and it's like well wtf man. wtf I'm supposed to do?
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mbat · 4 months ago
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i feel like my soul is dissolving
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yongseungkim · 10 months ago
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#like i definitely need therapy lol#not that i havent tried in the past nothings just worked/stuck like the therapists werent a good fit for me perhaps#so im trying to reach out again because holy shit#i want to a) get out of my phd and b) have normal fucking friendships#but its so hard right now when anxious thoughts take over SO much some days like i know i cannot do this on my own#i have good friends i know who will hear me out#but man its the same thing over and over again with me but in a new font sometimes i swear#and my friends dont need to hear all those anxious depressive thoughts lol like#once in a while sure esp my closer friends but all the time? nawr#i have been trying to journal but man the emotions just bubble up and i dont feel better until ive like said things out loud#so honestly just having someone to rant about the same issues over and over again might be nice lol .#but i need to find a therapist that fits which is the hardest part#i do think ive made small strides on my own which is nice#but the emotions are just so loud and genuinely affect my day to day like its so hard battling things on my own#im at the point now where im like this cant go on for much longer somethings gotta change#if i want to have a phd in the next year and if i want to maintain friendships normally#and esp if i wanna stay roommates with this girlie cuz holy shit its been a lot harder than i expected maybe#i dont think i can do it on my own without major reprecussions#bro its also been like so long#i feel like ive always had some human i was extremely fond of for the past ?? years albeit most of them were like fake right like in the kp#*kpop world so it was fine when it becomes a real person it is absolutely terrible let me tell u .#but its also been a habit like i didnt realize how terrible my thoughts w ys were until now cuz they really wernet normal thoughts at all#like i want to break free of having these kind of attachments to people in a way cuz the only way i feel like ive been able to deal with bi#feelings is by transferring them to a new subject which isnt what i want anymore#like i just want it all to stop!#i also feel like mentally ive gotten worse ?? than before ?? in some ways like#i dont know if i want to make new friends and connections anymore#the same way i was trying so hard in the previous year which is worse bc now my efforts are like#SOLELY on this one girl in a way which is NOT. GOOD.#ive been trying to have conversations with the third roommate but i have to force myself?
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tried-andtrueblue · 11 months ago
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oh no what do i do. !!!!!
#said i was fine to call today but the messages theyve been sending have been so negative amd pessimistic and i fear that if we called they#would just be complaining the whole time and i hate the fake sympathy i have to show just bc theyre ALWAYS like this idk???? ugh i feel like#such a terrible friend but that is just not what i need to surround myself w all the time rn#sure you can have your moments where you confide in me about things that have been bothering you but when thats ALL that you do and you cant#even hold a normal conversation i just#like what do you want me to do!!!!!#i cant fix anything for you!!!!#just UGH#and ive been ignoring their messages which i KNOW is a shitty thing to do but i do not need this rn when i have been feeling so shit lately#as well and i dont know how to tell them that because of the person they are!! theyll take it as me being distant instead of me setting a#fucking boundary!!#and i DO feel bad for them w the situation but they need to learn and grow a bit like we all have!!!!!#learn to love life a little ya know!!! despite everything#there are hard things you need just to do sometimes and theres nothing you can do about it!!! youve j gotta change your attitude and mindset#and sure its hard!!!! i fucking know it's hard! it still is sometimes!!!!!!#i am getting so far off topic i just dont really wanna call if theyre gonna be sulky the whole time and i dont know how to get out of it bc#oauahahavshshogogoguahah!#theyre gonna take it personally!!#FUCK anyways.
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quadrantbreaker · 1 year ago
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whisp3roftheheart · 2 years ago
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Sometimes I hate that my friend group is so close knit because whenever I'm having issues with one person there is never any real escape from them. At least no meaningful one because no matter what things will always circle back to them and I'll be forced to interact.
#eden speaks#im going to pride tomorrow with my best friend and im so worried my ex is gonna be pissed i didnt invite her since we've all gone together#for the past few years#like i shouldn't care this much but this stresses me out so much#i just wanna hang out with my friend honestly it has nothing to do with my ex at the end of the day#im just really really worried shes gonna make it about her if she finds out we went#im also REALLY stressed shes gonna be there and we're gonna come across her out of nowhere and ill have to explain why i didnt invite her#i have all of these made up problems in my head that arent even problems yet but i stress over them#i just wanna hang out with my best friend. every time i hang out with my ex i feel like im hanging out with the equivalent of a soggy piece#piece of paper. shes just a downer!! and it makes me feel like shit every time we interact#and i dont like how things left off last time i hung out with her :// i was stressed and she asked to kiss me and i said a firm no#i feel like im stuck in highschool im 22 fucking years old!! i never dealt with this shit in highschool#i dont want to deal with this shit now. i think my issue is is that i dont know how to be mean#or im too scared to be mean#i wish she would ghost me tbh or tell me she cant handle talking anymore#because dealing with the aftermath of everything is exhausting especially when i feel like i have to tiptoe around her feelings#shes always upset at me because apparently i look like i got over shit too quickly and that doesnt make any sense?? i can easily fake that#this shit probably makes no sense anymore im just so ready for it all to be over#im gonna have fun with my best friend at pride tomorrow. im gonna smoke some weed beforehand. we're gonna have a great time#even if my ex IS there. its not my job to cater to her feelings. its not my job.#i could say so much more because theres so much fucked context but im gonna refrain before im here all night l#delete later
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warwithoutreason · 2 years ago
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hauuuuuuugh me when i dont feel real on several fucking levels???
#i dont feel like me and its concerning#my parents dont feel like my parents#i had to fucking mentally confirm a bit ago that 'yes that is yoyr friend who is having a birthday and not just some stranger'#i keep. second guessing myself on things i know are true#and my body shouldnt be mine . and my personality is only me because i made it me#if you took all of the fake things and stripped them from me what the fuck would be left#and oopsies i cant talk to anyone about it because the only people i would are my friends and i know most of them have more issues than me#but i cant help them with that because all i have is luck and a shitty jokey personality to scrape through life with#i owe them so much honestly. i only really go outside with them. otherwise i would be a total shut in#and i cant do so much as ask if theyre okay because if they say yes its likely a lie and if they say no then what do i do ?#so im not making them deal with more of my shit. so i'll just keep having those moments where i look up and take a bit to remember its real#im so lucky. just to be alive. and for what#to make shitty jokes and never help anyone and rot in my room all day?#but if i make a change now people will notice somethings off about me. parents would get concerned if j did anything not in my room#one day my lucks going to run out and ill be gone and i won't be memorable because none of me is real#..if youre my friend and you see this. i love you and i wish i could do so much more to help you#and im sorry im a little too pathetic to be able to do that now but one day ill figure out how to help people and be useful#and repay everythjng#and one day i wont be some weird combination of personas and jokes and fakes#just. gotta get there#. still. it feels like the real old me got cut out of their body and i got stuck in here instead. if i could id give it back lol#hell. is this even real or am i just spouting what i thjnk i should be feeling#my emotions go by so fast that they dont feel real either#ha i need to stop rambling here#maybe im having a Dont Trust How You Feel After Nine moment#does this. count as#derealisation#probably
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snekdood · 2 years ago
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if me not being fake nice all the time is the reason ppl generally avoid me then whatever. id rather not walk around with a liar as a face.
#omigosh janet thats so good thats happening for you !!!!!!!! my many exclamation points dont totally make it seem like im joking#being fake nice means you can never be direct which means all communication is passive aggressive.#and i really dont have time for that shit#im like very done with passive aggressive people. if youve got afucking issue fucking say it you bitchmade motherfucker#its why i cant be around Certain types of gays.#like its all drama LITERALLY just bc no one can be direct with one another. lmao.#and it looks so fucking solvalbe to me all the time and no one ever wants to hear it like dawg#you HAVE to communicate your issues w people otherwise it builds up into reset=ntment.#but then the problem w these types of gay friend groups is since no one is direct- when you're the first to be direct they decide its you#being an asshole when its like... im literally saying the thing you're too much of a bitch to say to the person..... stfu...#anyways im over the catty bitches sorry.#me when i think never speaking up about wanting food will get me fed#and then being passive aggressive in secret group chats about it#when i couldve fuckin said something.#its the reason these friend groups fall apart ALLLLL the time.#a. bc usually they're the type of friend groups that just really loooove finding people within it to secretly hate and slowly ostracize#till they leave. but also because if any of them actually DO learn how to communicate-#they're all gonna realize they actually fucking hate eachother and only hangout bc theyre the only queer ppl you know in your town#that actually tolerates you.#so you'd rather hang out with these miserable ass ppl you dont even really like than be alone.#and personally i cant bring myself to do that.#i really do think id rather be alone than be around ppl i dont like or relate to in any way.
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sparring-spirals · 5 months ago
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someone more well caught up with the campaign can correct me if im wrong. But based on the impression I've gotten, i love the like. Spectrum of "accidentally oncall" we have, with how the Mighty Nein are accidentally unknown go-to's for various powerful people to get tasks done, while Bell's Hells are accidentally primary sources and lynchpins for various powers to understand and coordinate events.
Like the Mighty Nein are. they're assholes, if you talk to them and they dont really like you. you'll know it and it will kind of suck. But for the most part people don't have to interact directly with them. It's almost weird how much they don't have to??? Like shit just gets. Done. And you find out later like OH its the same. weirdos. No idea who they are but you're told its the same group. What do they even look like. There are so many weird stories at least half of them NEED to be fake. Or people just assume incorrect attribution bc it cant ALL be the same group. What do you mean they saved a world and an island and? Turtles were involved? Sea serpents? what.
For anyone who knows even slightly better/has slightly better connections (but doesn't know them personally) They're just like a weird form of an urban legend where its like. elite strike team. silent and effective. (in the background we see them falling out of the sky into the ocean onto one another). But for the most part its really peak. Knows a guy who knows a guy. If someone HAPPENS to be present they might be squinting into the chaos like. That girl choked me with a stick once? Isnt that other one a professor. Wha- okay. They're gone again. Silent. effective. You have a really hard time tracking them down even if you want to. (If they want to find you though, you can't escape them).
And then with Bell's Hells. (At least when I last checked in). It goes more like. Hey some weirdos have critical knowledge for us. And it's just. an Absolute Halloween themed clown car of events that rolls up. There's a talking dead rat. Weird old gnome griping about wood. They keep flirting with everyone. Including someone that looks very evil. A busty faun just took your wallet. You're pretty sure this group threw a bunch of bees in someone's face in a street race and crashed a skyship and were absolute NIGHTMARE CUSTOMERS at various establishments. They're the ones with critical knowledge. They are communicating it SO, INCREDIBLY INEFFECTIVELY. They were on the moon? They have a person FROM the moon? They keep trying to be friendly with you. You don't want them to be. Another critical thing happens. They're the only one with knowledge. Again. The dead rat keeps flirting with you. You're getting voices in your head. More developments in the critical scenario. They're still the primary source on this potentially Exandria-shattering event. They're still spending an inexplicable amount of time talking about the hotness of various people inbetween dispensing information that literally no one else has been able to glean. You know who they are. You kind of wish you didn't. You are Going To See Them Again. (threat)
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