#like you dont even have to do anything wrong either‚ you can do it perfectly and just Happen to have a vein right where you stab

[walking-loather]

.

[zweiism]

I’ll see you around?

art x reader / reader is tashi’s best friend / patrick goes to stanford / correct me on any wrong tennis terms!

art donaldson, tennis star, 17th in youth tournaments worlwide, hates you. the talk of the school, talented, young, beautiful, confident, and arrogant, according to him. But when youre forced to train together after your friends bailed, art starts seeing another side of you.

first time writing! lmk how it is :) !fluff enemies to lovers kind of thing..

its no suprise that art donaldson was named the second most famous person campus. He’s one of the best college tennis players in the country, ranked 17th in youth tournaments nationwide. But, why second? it was simple. The first being given to a girl that won the NCAA women’s tennis championship, or in other words, you.

you were at the top of your game. making headlines by winning the 2025 NCAA women’s tennis championship. Your forehand was powerful, your footwork was otherworldly, you didnt fall under pressure, you were the best of the best.

and art hated it.

he hated how you much better you were than him. like you were in your own league. he hated how much attention you got, he despised how smug you were when you heard about going to nationals. he hated knowing that he couldnt be like you if he tried, and he most definitely hated the way your body looks in those brand new tennis uniforms coach got.

hated the way it hugged your hips nicely, detested the way your legs look in those short, short, short skirts. He resented the way those tank tops captured your body perfectly. He’s a firm believer you got to where you were through connections, hes characterized you as the snobby tennis bitch, rolls his eyes every time someone mentions your name.

his best friend patrick? he is so onto him.

he knows its all an act, he sees the way art admires your everymove, he knows everything art has ever thought about you; without art having to ever say anything at all. Its all an act, he knows it, art tells him he cant stand her, and yet he always sees art turning his head every time youre not at practice.

one afternoon

“i cant believe hes still making us practice when the season is practically over” your friend tashi exclaimed. “it’s unreasonable, and dumb.”

you laugh at her comment, it is dumb. theres practically no more important matches for you, you were almost going to skip the practice when tashi texted you to “PLEASE COME!!!” and being you, you did.

you know tashi has a match coming up, against some country club loser named pepperdine. tashi duncan is admittedly way better than you in many aspects, youre not ashamed to admit that, you wouldnt have really won without her, she being your hitting partner and all. its just by luck you even won the championship at all.

as you set up all your equipment, you hear a loud laughter coming from a couple of boys behind you.

“c’mon artie, im just kidding” the older brunette boy says to art, art laughs and hits the boys shoulder to brush it off. you wonder what was so funny for them to cackle and laugh so loud

you’ve heard all about art donaldson. all about him. you know he has this animosity against you, you know he cant stand to be near you, and you definitely know he has something towards you.

you caught him staring at you again and again, whether it be at practice, the cafeteria, or just around campus. you dont understand it, but each time you tell yourself to forget it. maybe you’ll understand him one day.

practice starts of with light jogging around the court, then coach tells you to partner up, which is surprisingly easy to do since you and tashi are together. that is until she gets a mysterious phone call, which she wont elaborate about at all.

“tashi! just tell me!” you whisper-shout at her

“cant say L/N, i just have to go!” you can see through her, you know somethings up. you see the way the corner of her lip turns up, and the way shes rocking back and forth

“Hey! c’mon duncan we dont got all day, either go to where you gotta go, or stick around for the practice.” thank you coach ben. thank you.

tashi turns to you and shakes her head, “well, thats my cue… ill.. uhh… see you later yea?”

she runs off before you could utter a no.

“hey art, i just got a call from my dad, i gotta get going man…” you hear in the distance

you could almost predict donaldsons protest, it starts off as a “no patrick. dont. please.” then leads to art chasing ‘patrick’ all over the court, it made you laugh seeing art running around and laughing with his friend, which was short lasted because coach ben told them to stop.

neither of your and art have a partner now. you worry that coach ben might see, or maybe he wont, maybe he’ll just have everyone run more laps. you pray he makes you run more laps. but nonetheless, nothing goes unnoticed by coach ben.

“L/N and Donaldson, partner up and make it quick.” you can almost feel art’s disappointment.

you look up to see art walking towards you, you can hear a few people laugh at him, they all know how he feels.

“lets get this over with, yea?” art says, you can hear the sass.

“yep. lets get this over with” you awkwardly smile.

its hard to play when you have this awful moment between each set of straight silence and eye contact. you could feel him stare you down while you get ready for your serve.

he can feel the tension too. he tells himself its the heat thats making him sweat, his grip on the racket rough and firm. He knows that you’ve got what it takes, he knows you’ll do anything to win.

its the final set. the score is set as 9-8, final-set tiebreake. match point.

art is fuming, he has this abnormal desire to beat you in a sport you dominated. he needs this point. you chuckle to yourself, absolutely shocked hes taking a practice match this serious.

why not add fuel to the fire?

“one more shot, hot shot. dont choke this time”you manage to giggle out, a hint of tease in your tone.

this sets him off.

this sets him off.

art looks away, jaw tight. you know what you did to him. youre 100% know thar art donaldson is gonna hate your guts even more. what you dont know, is his pants are growing tighter. Art donaldson, 17th in youth tournaments nationwide, was getting off to you trash talking him.

he knows its wrong. it wasnt your talent that scared him all along, it was the way he felt every time he saw you succeed, it was the way you make him shudder each time he thinks of you.

“c’mon dont bail on me artie.” you really are pushing it now. its nice to see him so frustrated, hes so serious about it, its ridiculous coming from art donaldson.

you bounce the ball twice; the serve was fast, wide, just clipping the edge of the box, it was a blink-and-you-miss-it type of serve.

art lunges for the ball, barely getting his racquet to touch the ball, sends a high ball that felt like ages for it to come down

you stepped in, one clean swing towards the ball, forehand so loud youre sure students in the dining hall across campus could hear.

the hit itself caught art off guard, he used to mock you for taking tennis too hard, but now its clear. tennis isnt just a game to you. its everything.

“nice shot.” he said flatly. ignoring the warmth in his heart as he heard your laughter.

you walked to the net, offering your hand, “close one donaldson.” you say, breathless.

arts eyes burned, you dont know if its with hatred, or desire.

“next time.”

you thought you just made art donaldson your worst enemy, but you hear him let a out a snicker and lend his hand out for a handshake.

because to him, deep down, he didnt really mind losing. not to you at least.

—————————————————————————

“yea and he got all mad and angry, im sure he was about to pop a blood vessel or something.” you laugh to tashi, mouth full of the cafeteria’s churros

“oh wow, i wish i was there to witness it.” tashi responded, a hint of sarcasm in her tone.

“yea, me too, i cant believe you and his hitting partner- whats his name? patrick?” you questioned

“yea, patrick zweig.”

“yea him, i cant believe BOTH of you guys left! like, time and place tash, time and place”

theres a moment of silence. a big smile plastered on tashi’s face.

“no. no fucking way.” you say with a stern face

“well, what can we say, art has absolutely been eye fucking you. everytime. i thought you would notice? and hey, if it wasnt for me and patricks sake. you guys wouldve never gotten to this point of- friendship.”

“you fucking snake” you cant help but laugh a little hearing it, you cant believe tashi and patrick zweig went behind you and arts back to plot such a thing.

tashi shrugs and starts cleaning her plate up, you follow to do the same.

on the walk back to the dorms you catch a glimpse of art donaldson, and maybe you’ve never really noticed him, but he is kind of cute.

[lnkedmyheart]

Okay so minimafioso on twt brought this up but this art has everyone hanging on threads like puppets around Fyodor.

And if you look closer all of them are hanging in ways that show that they are obeying the laws of gravity, limp, and doll like with their hair and clothes all hanging off in the correct angles.

And then you have Chuuya who is hanging upside down but his doll isn't limp. Yes he is a gravity manipulator but he is being controlled like a puppet with no autonomy on a string so why isn't he limp? Why is his hat not falling off? Or his coat and hair? Why are they perfectly in place?

Also like, everyone is strung up and the body parts pulled up are all held up by strings but Chuuya only has one leg on a string and the other is still perfectly positioned despite not being held up by anything.

Chuuya's doll practically looks like it is standing upright. But if Chuuya is a puppet he shouldn't have control over his ability like that. Maybe it's just me but the doll also seems to be fully aware and looking straight at Fyodor, being the only one whose head is not in a natural position for his body (everyone else is).

And the whole speculation with Chuuya having broken out of Fyodor's (Bram's) control. We know Chuuya was really exhausted as a vampire when we first met him. He was heaving and sweating, something no other vampire in my memory was shown doing (I could be wrong about that though). And he's not someone who'd get exhausted easily. We also know Chuuya has managed to power through corruption and not only recognised Dazai but also actively searched for him in his corrupted state and controlled his strength to not take off his head with a punch in that state.

We also know that words can have some effect on the vampires like Aku remembering his promise to Atsushi which could imply something because we got Dazai's words invoking their unbreakable bond followed by the last panel where we saw his eyes showing a seemingly fully lucid Chuuya.

And then we either dont see his eyes and fangs at all or he is entirely missing from the scene. He hasn't even hissed and shit. And he had left the control room he and Fyodor were in long before Fyodor gave him the order to kill Dazai. Also Dazai dragging himself right to the camera to let Fyodor know exactly where he is.

Idk about anyone else but that bitch is planning something.

[cpvnksabm]

Things I Think RTC Did Well In Disability Rep (in 2016-2018 scripts)

exactly what it says in the title. i'm not touching on the pre-2016 scripts because i dont know enough about them and i'm not talking about the 2022 script changes for obvious reasons.

disclaimer, this is all my own opinion as one disabled person, other people may feel differently and that's fine.

Ricky's disability in general

Ricky is a young person who uses mobility aids. He can't talk, implicitly due to dysarthria. He has a degenerative disease, specifically a rare disease which is heavily implied to be neuromuscular. And it's stated outright that his disease is lifespan-limiting and that he's dealt with his own mortality in life.

And all of these things are very underrepresented!

I'm not going to claim that all of these things were explained perfectly or explored in detail in the canon. But just having them on-stage, in my opinion, is a big deal in itself. And it's also a big deal that Ricky is a main character, who has the same character depth as the abled characters, when so many characters like him are reduced to ableist props for other characters' story arcs.

I understand there's been some confusion about the specifics of ricky's disability, in the fandom. And I know part of the confusion comes from the fact that the script didn't explain everything, and glossed over most of the details. But honestly? The fact that so many RTC fans didn't initially understand parts of his disability - such as the fact that it's likely neuromuscular, or the fact that his inability to speak is implied to have a physical cause - just makes it more important that these things were represented on-stage in the first place. They're so underrepresented, little-known, and poorly-understood that many people don't pick up on them even when they are represented!

Just showing these underrepresented disabled experiences on-stage has potential to help a lot of disabled people feel seen, which matters.

Ricky as a victim of ableism

Okay, this one might be controversial, but i'm speaking from the heart here.

Ableism is a huge part of Ricky's backstory and character - the whole Zolar thing is stated to be a coping method to deal with isolation & cruelty. Throughout the musical Ocean infantilizes him in dialogue, and in her song she argues point-blank that he has no reason to be alive due to his disability. The rest of the choir aren't perfect either - sure, nobody else says anything ableist, but they're all bystanders to Ocean's overt ableism, nobody really holds her accountable or acknowledges that what she's saying is fucked up. On top of that, Ricky says after his song that nobody listened to him while he was alive which, combined with the whole choir being shocked upon learning about his deeper thoughts, pretty clearly implies that they all ignored him previously.

And it's so fucking realistic.

Look. I'm not saying that Ocean's ableism was ever handled perfectly in canon. I am saying that when I saw a post-2022 production with the able-bodied Ricky script, I got a sinking feeling in my gut when we got to *that* part of WTWN and I realized the ableist lines had been removed/replaced. Because facing ableism is a huge part of my disabled experience that I barely ever see even acknowledged in media, let alone represented accurately, and the more I face ableism in real life the more I feel I can relate to Ricky, and that is so important to me.

Depicting bigotry in fiction is always difficult to do right - it's a rough balance between "this is not okay and we should not imply that it is" and "many people believe this is okay, wrongly, and that needs to be shown accurately". Sure, you can make it so the antagonist character is overtly ableist and every sympathetic character explicitly says "I do not agree with your ableist views!" and that way it's 100% clear that the ableist actions are wrong. But real ableism isn't just like that. Sometimes real-world ableism is a group of perfectly nice people who just never think about the disabled kid, or how he's doing or whether someone should talk to him, because they've been taught to ignore him. And sometimes it's a girl who swears to God that she's a good person, who considers herself an ally, whose voice stays sweet and kind as she switches between talking to her disabled classmate like he's 5 years old and claiming he doesn't deserve to live.

I think the brutal honesty of ableism in RTC is important. Yeah, it's pretty fucked-up when you think about it - Ocean openly sings about why Ricky shouldn't live, every ableist character is presented sympathetically, nobody is ever actually held accountable for ableism on-stage - and that's just like real life. I'd like to think that it could act as a wake-up call to some abled fans, who are similar to Ocean (+ others) and who could learn to understand the flaws in their worldview when they realize you're not supposed to agree with what she says in WTWN. But even more importantly than that... it makes me feel seen, in a way that I couldn't feel if Ricky's experiences with ableism weren't shown so realistically.

SABM, like, all of it

Do I even need to explain this? Disabled person has a whole furry-themed musical number. That's cool as fuck. God I wish that were me.

Okay, seriously. I think SABM is wonderful and important for a number of reasons. Like all of the character songs, it's important for expanding Ricky's character - not only is it a main glimpse into his interests, but it sets up for us to learn more about his personality and the selflessness that would later lead to the touching Savannah scene. It shows us his deep internal thoughts - it confirms that he has deep internal thoughts - and explains how he's been coping with the ableism he faces.

SABM is weird. I like that. I like that Ricky gets to have weird interests and a weird self-insert fantasy, while being disabled - I like that being disabled isn't treated as his "weird" trait, such that giving him weird interests as well would be "too much". Because that happens a lot! Disabled people are expected to be completely average in every other way to "make up" for our disability. And, yeah, SABM is kind of horny - and that makes sense! Ricky is a teenager, he's in his final year of high school, most people his age do have sexual fantasies. Other characters also reference sex in various ways so it makes sense that Ricky would. And I think it makes sense for SABM to be weird because part of Ricky's backstory is being ignored and isolated due to his disability - that's the sort of thing that, long-term, can leave people without a clear reference point for 'weird' and 'normal', or just leave them having no reason to care about being 'weird' because they're ignored anyway.

But also, if I may get analytical for a moment. Throughout the musical until SABM, Ricky faces a lot of ableism from Ocean, which isn't really commented on - she infantilizes him, both by assuming he's incapable of deeper thought/understanding and by being shocked at the idea that he might talk about porn or sex, and she also argues that he doesn't have a reason to live with his disability. Ocean is a flawed character and an unreliable narrator, but for the first half of the musical, you could be forgiven for thinking maybe you're supposed to agree with her and view Ricky as some pitiable child.

And then in comes Ricky's introduction, followed by SABM. And clearly Ricky isn't mentally a child, in any way - he's developed a whole complex story with deep worldbuilding so that he can imagine himself having sex with alien catgirls. But it also makes it clear that Ricky does have valuable ideas to contribute and, heck, just things he enjoys - which feels significant to me when a few songs ago it was being argued that there's no reason he should be alive.

As I said earlier, the ableism Ricky faces is extremely realistic and relatable to me. And SABM makes it clear that Ocean's ableist views about him are untrue and harmful, without breaking the realism for her to turn directly to the audience and say "By the way, you aren't supposed to agree with most of what I say about Ricky - I'm an unreliable narrator speaking due to my own biases!"

Basically - SABM is a subtle deconstruction of all the ableist things said to/about Ricky throughout the musical. It's an incredibly important part of the musical and an important way to represent a disabled character. And it's also a fucking bop.

Why this is important

Representation matters. That's a concept that has been explained a lot, by people who can articulate it better than I can - I won't fully explain here, just google "why does representation matter".

Look - over the years, many aspects of RTC's disability rep have been criticised in various ways. And a lot of that criticism is completely justified. Many topics were handled confusingly, not fully explained, and not properly explored like they could have been; erasure was pretty much baked into the script, with Ricky becoming able-bodied in the afterlife, and while some productions have tried to alleviate this by retaining his mobility aids nobody has found a workaround for his inability to speak in a genre where it's important for him to sing; and in recent years his disability has been entirely erased from the script, in an incredibly ableist way.

I'm not saying RTC is perfect; far from it. But if I thought there was no value in RTC's disability rep, and Ricky was just some offensive caricature, I wouldn't be in the fandom.

In fact, it's because I love Ricky and see him as valuable disability rep that I think it's important to criticise the parts of the musical that aren't handled well & the issues with disability erasure. RTC had good disability rep - that's why I think it should be improved, why it can be improved, and why i think we should fight against erasure. That's a big part of why I hate the 2022 script changes! Because they erased something that was important to me!

A lot of the things I loved about RTC in the first place are things that I frequently see glossed over, or downright erased, in fanworks. I think sometimes people don't realize the significance of these details, so I wanted to share why I think it's important! Some of these details really need more exploration and more love!

Overall, I think it's important to understand that media can't always be sorted neatly into "good representation" or "bad representation". And that talking about the good things and criticising the flaws can both be important. I really wanted to share my perspective on this topic. Thanks for reading!

[sturnioz]

okay so imagine they’re in a party and chris went for a drink or something and what if bun was hit on by a guy and asked her if she had a boyfriend,but like is insisting a lot and doesn’t go away? how does she react? anddd most importantly would chris do anything to stop the guy from flirting with bun? like I don’t know if I explained myself haha but basically she doesn’t say that chris is her boyfriend because he isn’t but the guy won’t go away and chris sees this, I’m sorry I normally can’t write what I’m trying to say but love your writings!🥰

you worded this perfectly, dont worry !!! and thank you !!

if someone was hitting on bun, she honestly wouldn't really realise it at first. she can be a bit clueless with signals, especially if its something to do with flirting or any sort of attraction. but as soon as that boyfriend question pops up, and the guy keeps being very insistent with it, thats when she'll notice something is wrong and will get very uncomfortable.

she would be honest and tell him that she hasn't got a boyfriend (cos she doesn't), and she doesn't really have it in her to lie and say she does either so she'll be kinda stuck, just constantly saying no and walking backwards to get away.

i've mentioned this briefly before in other asks, but when chris isn't around bun, a lot of the frat brothers (even kitty and bee included), have their eyes on her. they're all very protective and watch from the side lines, waiting to jump in if necessary.

also, the frat doesn't fuck with that type of behaviour at all. if someone is making someone else uncomfortable. especially a girl, they're going to do something abt it.

chris isn't afraid to fight or to cause a scene, so he's immediately walking up and getting in between them to be up in the guys face, and matt and nate are right beside him. the other frat brothers will form a circle while kitty and bee tug bun away to safety.

[deathbxnny]

I’ve been busy.. but that doesnt stop me from daydreaming!

Can i request platonic Vi with a best friend that is like Wriothesley? I didnt realized how similar those two are until i saw Wriothesley’s birthday art. It’s just.. mind blowing. ALSO WRIOTHESLEY AND CLORINDE, VI AND CAITLYN. DO YOU SEE IT?! Personally, i dont ship Wrio and Clorinde but i can see why people even ship them in the first place. I see them as platonic besties who support their endeavor with their respective lover (Neuvilette and Navia respectively)

Context:

Reader and Vi met in prison and just clicked bc they just understood each other. When Caitlyn came to ask Vi for help, Vi also made Caitlyn to allow reader out with her as well. Whatever happens next is your choice to make but please also note how reader is from Piltover.

That’s all and have a good day/night!

(School is just.. really busy rn and i have my final exams next week. Im honestly scared, so i might not be active for a while here. But know that i do read your stuff to time to time to destress. Also i really like the post with my navia request, tysm ^_^)

- Flower Anon 🌸

Vi with a best friend Wriothesley-like!Gn!Reader.

Your words about the Wriothesley and Clorinde comparison have enlightened something in my mind lmao. Also, good luck with your exams, Flower Anon! I really, really hope that they go well and dw about not being active much! I appreciate your support either way and hope you'll enjoy this!<3

Content: Reader is from Piltover, past murders, crimes, platonic relationships, Vi and Reader being a menace duo, sfw

Reader has no mentioned pronouns.

((Not proofread))

You and Vi had your backs from day one after meeting in Stillwater. You were both teens then, having been imprisoned under terrible circumstances, and that made you stick together as a team. There was no one else to look out for you in that hell after all.

During your long, seemingly endless time in jail, you both got to know each other perfectly, with no details about your pasts spared. She came to know about your dark past and the murder of your abusive parents rather early on, yet never judged you for it. If anything, she may have been the only one to understand you.

This was surprising, considering your vastly different upbringings. Vi came from poverty down in the slums of Zaun, whilst you once tasted silver spoons and golden dishes on the daily. But it all faded in this hellscape of a prison, where you both endured torture and pain as equals.

You became an unlikely duo out of that, one that upheld a scary and menacing reputation amongst prisoners and wards alike. She was the more angry, violent one, whilst you were a bit of a joker, your words alone enough to send shivers down anyone's spines. It made you both feel more confident and hopeful, even if a way out was unlikely after many years spent in the prison.

Now, far into your adulthood, you decided to give up on that childish dream of freedom, accepting that your life in Stillwater is all you'll ever know. You were used to it by now and built a routine to follow and survive with. But things changed when that Enforcer girl showed up.

You didn't trust her at all, despite roughly remembering who she was. And unfortunately, she remembered you two, although for all the wrong reasons she would simply scoff at. However, since Vi decided to make a deal with Caitlyn, you decided to leave the past behind and simply accept this opportunity to finally escape this place.

And so, after what felt like endless years of fighting for your survival together, you were finally permitted to breathe, mostly, fresh air and live freely again... even with the grim mission at hand that often left you having to comfort Vi whenever things got too out of hand with her emotions. Hunting down Jinx was more traumatic than she'd let on anyways.

But alas, you eventually began enjoying your time out by trying new tea and pastries, running around your okd neighborhoods, and beating up people with Vi that wronged her in the past. It was all in good fun, even if Caitlyn had to hunt you both down every time.

You were the more calmer and gentler out of the three of you, however, as your rationality and ability to lead effortlessly often came in handy. You were somewhat of a balance between the two when things got really bad, despite your own reservations, and eventually ended up being an accidental wingman with how well you spoke of Vi to Cait. You knew firsthand how bad the prejudice against Zaunites could be and would be damned if she ever mistreated Vi because of it.

Ultimately, life turned out a lot more chaotic outside than it was outside of the prison... but with your best friend at your side, you suppose things would only get more interesting from here.

[elainsgirl]

The fandom hasn’t been this much of a mess since 2021. I’m still here mostly because I feel like the announcement is coming soon and at this point I’ve been around too long to just dip.

But man, seeing gwynriels mock the elriels who left actually has me seething. Acting like they’re just too sensitive for fandoms or scared their ship is sinking. Like, really? People can’t even leave without getting dragged? It’s like they can’t turn off the ship war mindset for five seconds and realize that real people were actually hurt. Instead they just make fun of them on their way out. It’s messed up. And the worst part is that the wrong people are leaving. Like I get why, but it’s always the kind ones who go. How many times is this gonna happen? I’ve seen so many good people leave over the years and many never came back.

This week sucked ass. Easily one of the worst since the 2021 chaos. So many who joined the fandom after silver flames just have no decency. I just feel weirdly empty now. We really need that announcement.

A fandom is meant to be a space of fun. A space where you can shut off from real life issues & problems - and simply enjoy, stressfree for a while whether that’s through creating content or simply consuming it. Obviously it will be inevitable that some real life issues filter through into fandoms, however it should always be talked about with empathy, caution and care - so those that are affected or going through these issues aren’t so triggered.

That side were simply not mature enough to handle such heavy topics. Their posts were careless and triggering. Any sane, normal person would be able to understand why people are upset and leaving. I think lately, I’ve really come to the realisation that antis do not see elriels as real life people who are going through our own struggles. As you perfectly put it -(and a phrase I will now be using so thanks anon) it seems as though most antis cannot turn off their shipwar mindsets for a minute to look past and understand how these sort of heavy topics are very disturbing. Each post they made this past week about the issue/article basically went

“Yh no sure the article was wrong…but like, its just an opinion and tbf the author did write it as such where people would y’know bring up Elain not having the right anatomy…so blame Sjm and not the readers/journalist and…like, its not a big thing - elriels have said so much worse! And honestly…they’re just mad bcs the point make sense and they can’t deal with that. It was nothing to make such a big deal about”

I know this might come across as mean but, you know when a young teenager or even child enter spaces meant for more mature adults - they dont understand or grasp on how to communicate with the conversations going on in that space. They just end up blabbering and saying dumb stuff, missing the point. THAT is how antis have acted this past week.

You know, Im going to be real with you. Everytime I think antis can’t go any lower then they already have - every time they prove me wrong. Who and why is anyone creating posts & making fun about those leaving due to feeling triggered? Its just immature and pathetic. People have a life outside of the shipwars, something most antis won’t know about. I feel like most of them are consumed within the shipwars and its the centre of their lives.

You’re so right anon. The wrong people are leaving. The people that make the fandom a better, brighter place that have put nothing out but positivity. Its sad to see them go but hopefully they’ll be back once we finally get something about the next book.

Im convinced most who joined after SF - its either their first fandom experience or most of them are just attention seekers. At this point, I simply have stopped caring about anything fandom related, you’re right. I also feel empty and tired - just done with this fandom but Im just praying we get an announcement soon. Match preferably - we need something new to create a positive buzz again.

[its-no-biggie]

actually im making this its own post. the thing about the hunters gonna lay low is that its exactlyyyyyy what i want out of a fantasy romance. i love high stakes and unrealistic drama - life-threatening situations and monsters and magic and all manner of situations that dont happen in real life. and i love this as a setting for romance because it means you can create a lot of conflict that doesnt have to do with the characters feelings for each other - sure, you can still have arguments and complicated feelings, but throwing the characters into these high stakes situations creates a lot of flavour - high intensity emotions and conflict that arent just from within their relationship, yknow?

the problem with most fantasy ive read that also has romance is exactly that - its fantasy, with a side of romance. theres romance, sure, and a lot of times side romances do have these high-intensity moments im looking for, but usually the author is spending more time on worldbuilding or political drama or yknow. the plot. nothing wrong with that - i like an intense action plot without romance. its why i read a lot of fantasy. but i think ive really been hurting for a story that has this kind of high-stakes drama, but makes the relationship a more central part of the story. and ive had no luck with romance with a side of fantasy, either - most romance stories ive encountered are about very typical romance-style relationship drama, even if they take place in a fantasy setting. jealousy and miscommunication and will-they-wont-they. again, nothing wrong with that, its just not really my style.

and this is why all my ships of choice are Like That. its always an action story with a pairing of major characters who have a deep relationship - they have history, they care for each other a lot, they click with each other in a way they dont with anyone else....... the kind of thing where the growth and development of their relationship is a big part of who they both are. and then putting them in high stakes scenarios where they almost die all the time. you get it. the thing is that ive never really encountered one of these where the relationship was canonically romantic - which isnt necessarily a bad thing, but again, romance can add a lot of unique flavour! its why i read a lot of slash fic lol

[the closest ive gotten to this before would be banana fish, and i love banana fish so much i basically dont have anything to say about it. what is there to say? watch banana fish.] [hmm and maybe alien stage? alien stage is just so short though - not a lot of time to get to know the characters before they die yk.] [and notice how these are both tragedies???? i love tragedy but man. i do want a happy ending sometimes...... although i havent actually finished thgll so i guess this one could be a tragedy too 😩😩 pleeeease i just want them to be happy.......]

but here it is!!! the kind of story about a duo whose lives become intertwined through the high stakes fantasy plot, who care very deeply for each other and have history and keep watching each other almost die, and also they kiss!!!! its honestly a little frightening how well it suits my tastes - i can almost see the way the author is using the fantasy setting to deliberately further the relationship between these two, because its the kind of thing i do to whatever blorbos im rotating in my brain like a binary star system this month. but because the characters were actually created with romance in mind its like. cranked up to 11. like what do you mean cha euijae is the only person who can safely touch lee sayoung????? hello????? and the soul contract???? the alternate timeline?????? the BACKSTORY?????? i dont want to spoil too much but like. it really is just so good. its exactly the kind of thing i didnt know i was looking for.

and like. not only is the fantasy setting perfectly implemented for this more relationship-focused story. its also just really interesting in its own right?? like im hooked. im absolutely invested in these two trying to stop the apocalypse, save the world, and maybe avoid dying and leaving the other behind (again) in the process. im having the time of my fucking life right now

[btw i just finished part 1 of the novel, so no spoilers please!!]

[catboylesterr]

hi hi it’s @bamtwozled of “trying not to be completely insane in the tags of your failed ritual au” fame! (I hate using my main for asks forgive me lmao) this au compels me so bad and I was wondering if you had any lore for it you’d like to share besides what’s in the art 👀

AUGH thankyouthankyouthankyou for asking because I've REALLY been meaning to make a post talking about this au in more depth outside of art !!! I just keep getting preoccupied and forgetting 😭😭

(I had also specifically wanted to talk to u abt it via tags but even tho I've been on this app a couple years I still don't really know how reblogging other people's reblogs of your posts. works. so I'm glad you asked!! :3 )

Failed Ritual's lore is essentially the same as canon DAPC up to a certain point, that point being Slime, of course. Though we don't know much, we can assume the crafties met online in the same or a similar way as actual dnp. I personally think they split from real life events shortly b4 the first DAPC upload after they both begin to obsess over the occult. Maybe it stared from them looking at forums? Either way it devolves very fast.

We also know later on, pre-Slime, they were locked up together in a government facility for an undetermined amount of time and then escaped. I dont think just calling it 'obsessive occult practices' really comes close to scratching the surface of what they've been doing in universe at all, but we dont see all of their uploads, so we have to take what we have.

As for where I think it splits in Slime, there are so many things that had to go perfectly for the ritual to work that I think you can decide what you think the actual wrong move was for yourself, honestly!! It could've been like 10 seperate things. Maybe more than one, maybe just one tiny detail ruining everything. The actual Slime could've been made wrong prior to burning the night before, the ritual circle could've been sloppy, they could've just been out of practice from being in containment, even a candle accidentally snuffing out as Dan carved Phil's heart out. I like to think it was something very small that they were too preoccupied to notice.

Whichever you choose, when Dan begins to try and bring Phil back as he always has, [indicated by potato prints, Phil seems to be the one that usually dies and returns] it doesn't work. And Dan doesn't process it at first, waiting for a sign of life, but it begins to sink in quite quickly when nothing happens after a significant time. He tries everything he can think of to set things back on course and nothing works.

He doesn't leave Phil's side for days. But, eventually, he does, because otherwise he'll starve and have no way of even maybe getting him back. He doesn't have anything to dig with so he has to leave Phil where he is.

When he leaves, he absolutely takes Phils heart with him. He wouldn't dare leave it.

In regards to what happened on Phil's side.. he's not all gone, but it's arguably worse. The ritual only going partially right has left this soul in a sort of limbo, unaware and waiting for something he doesn't know will never come. With no physical body to return to, he remains. And though he can't see where he is, and doesn't quite know who he is, he knows something is missing. Someone.

Dans life post-ritual is something I want to touch on ALOT more than I have. I believe he and craftie Phil became codependent due to necessity thoughout the years, with being locked up and practicing carefully done rituals. He never really adjusts to being by himself. 15 years of Phil rattling on about something in his ear and suddenly it's replaced with nothing but rumors of police investigations and habits he picked up from him.

My most recent art regarding this au, a bloodied phil looking up from a dark red pool, is regarding nightmares I absolutely think craftie Dan gets. Trusted with Phil's life to bring Him back and failing and never ever recovering from the emotional turmoil. Sure, it may get a little better, but it'll never truly fade. He will be on the run forever.

At its core, intricacies aside, Failed Ritual, to me, is an au about grief. A bone deep grief and sense of anguish that will leave you haunted forever by your semidead cultist partner. You never really recover from that.

This au is also totally moldable to whatever someone's specific vision of a 'failed ritual dapc', I'm down to hear literally ANYTHING anyone wants to say because it's nearly been a yr since dapc has returned (and been put to rest) and I miss them really really badly everyday of my life it's agony like I miss dapc so badly oh mygod help help help he- (gets shot)

[jojotier]

i'll be real with you nothing has radicalized me quite like the experience of seeing les mis live. and not bc of the themes of the show or anything, because like, les mis is an excellent show don't get me wrong, but just metanarratively.

because walking to my cheap ass seat in the theatre i was jostled by assholes in full tuxedos, heard derisive sniffs from ladies with pearls around their necks, overheard a dozen conversations about what new overpriced restaurant just opened up in the city. I'm only lucky that the cheap seats were filled with people like me- younger, not necessarily white and not necessarily ultra-wealthy- who could ease the atmosphere.

the show itself was beautiful. i dont think i'll ever forget that particular Valjean's rendition of 'bring me home'- it was the highest, most perfectly angelic version i've ever known. the rebels at the barricades touched my heart because there I could see in them myself and those i knew- artists and dreamers, who still wanted to do better, to make sure everyone up top did better.

the end always rubs me a bit the wrong way. Marius just gets to go back to living in relative wealth and prosperity while all his lower-class friends are dead and gone; perhaps he'll do good beyond the end of the show, but we'll never see it. in terms of the show itself, it rubs me the wrong way, but i don't hold it against the show either- it's likely a result of the source material and the time in which the show was written.

but even so, despite that, as i stood with the rest of the crowd for a standing ovation, it was impossible to ignore how that effected the audience. because as i filed my way out of the theatre, those same rich patrons from the best seats with their furs around their necks and drink laden in their voices, were wiping teary eyes and gushing about how wonderfully brave those rebels were, how tragic their deaths, how it was simply the most marvelous show.

all the while, keeping a mistrustful eye on the poor tranny in somewhat ill-fitting clothes, dressed sunday best but no better. wondering in whispers whether they just let anybody in. because certainly, they loved every character on stage. they felt enjorlas' death as though their own damned child's. but the moment Marius can go back his life of refinement, so can they- they can dust off their gloves and gossip about the newest Manolo Blannik collection. they were more than happy to leave the barricade behind.

i don't have that luxury. the barricade lives within the walls of this house, lucky as i am to live in one. it only takes one fire. one hail of shrapnel. it takes one storm to blow everything i am trying to one day have away. if only i were some abstract concept, maybe they could spare an ounce of pity; if they had no choice but to watch me from beyond the veil. but i dared to occupy the same space as they, and it was an injustice that easily outweighed their cursory sympathy.

never before had it been cemented just how much of a different world the truly rich live in. it took me months of saving for a lone ticket and nothing else; for them, it would have merely been a drop in the bucket to have the best seats, the best wine, the best clothes, all to make a spectacle of watching poor people die.

and isn't that the greatest irony? les miserables is a story about poor men trying to either cheat the system which is rigged against them or abolish it for something for everyone, and yet, it attracts the wealthiest as flies to honey. never once do they question themselves. never once do they question the system. if they had that introspection, they still wouldn't do a damn thing about it.

after all- what's more entertaining to the rich than watching the unworthy masses struggle to matter in a system oiled only by their blood?

[talon-dragonbeast]

hello! fellow endermankin here i was wondering like how you specifically knew you came from the nether and the warped forest? im trying to figure out where i come from but im not certain i think maybe from the overworld? i dont have many memories and only a few noemata (still figuring out stuff beyond just being an enderman) but i also feel a connection to the end in a way i cant describe i dont know its that i lived there and then moved to the overworld or if its like an ancestral pull or like what the situation is and im not sure if any of these details are even accurate and i was just hoping maybe hearing how another figured it out might help? idk sorry /nfta

oh, a fellow enderman! its so rare to find one of us on the wild, hello!! o/

for me, when they added the warped forests to Minecraft (i was like 14 at the time) and i saw them for the first time, it felt like coming home in a way. i hadnt saw anything like that before, but deep inside i knew that not only had i seen a warped forest before, but i had been inside one. i recognized those trees. i knew what stepping on that grass felt like. that color palette was familiar to me. i was seeing pixels on a screen, but my brain was reacting as if i was there.

i read somewhere that your sense of smell is where your deepest memories reside. it has something to do with brain anatomy i think, your olfactory center is very close to the part of your brain that processes long-term memory, so when you smell something that is familiar to you, your brain reacts showing you the memorie(s) associated with it. it works in reverse too; when you remember something intensely, it feels like you can smell it too. or something. idk i only studied neuroanatomy for like a year. with my hearthomes, its a bit like that. even though i have never been in a warped forest before (as its kinda impossible, it being a videogame and all), my brain reacts as though it has been there before, and tries to pull the memories from it. except there arent actually any memories, so it just makes things up. and what is the easiest information to fabricate for the brain? smells and feelings.

for example, i remember the smell of sulfur on the back of my throat, the constant taste in my tongue that was both sweet and smoky. i remember the air being so hot and humid all the time, like a thick coat surrounding me from all sides. i remember the ground being soft, spongy and a bit wet, like moss. it gave in when you stepped on it. and i remember the Warped Forests as the only bearable region of the Nether for us endermen, because the mushroom-trees cooled the air and helped it stay in circulation, unlike in other biomes where the air was so still it felt suffocating.

i dont think its necessary to have memories about your hearthome. it isnt necessary to have noemata either, or even a hearthome! its possible to have multiple too; even though i come from the Nether (born and raised there, and i follow the Nether culture and behaviors more), like all endermen i share a deep connection with the End, as thats where i believe my species comes from.

if you feel like you come from the Overworld but still feel connected to the End, thats perfectly normal and okay! your alterhumanity is yours to define, not anyone elses. being nonhuman is all about internal feelings and subjective experiences, so you dont need definite "proof" of anything (be it noemata or hearthomes or whatever). theres no "alterhuman police" to stop you if you get something wrong. if something feels right, its right.

[uwushitsuji]

Reading black butler again as an adult, I find myself thinking a lot the sexualization of Sebastian and Ciel's relationship. I was expecting to feel disgusted but.... Morals aside, I feel from a narrative standpoint, it actually works?

We all know most sebaciel scenes are fanservice, Yana used to draw yaoi, the anime was sold as "shonen-ai" etc etc It's 2024 there's no point to debate that over and over again.

But is that fanservice unnecesary? At least in the manga, I dont think so. For the better or for the worse, it does serve a purpose. It defines the entire relationship of the main characters.

Just to make it clear, I think their relationship is very sexual, but not in a literal *they have sex* way. Sex is associated with love, intimacy, passion, desire, but also with violence, possesiveness, domination.

You could get rid of all the "weird fanservice", but that would destroy the complexity of their relationship. It would become either a story about two characters that don't care about each other, or a bland "wholesome" one.

Ciel, despite all his trauma, feels comfortable exposing his body to Sebastian. Having physical contact with someone. Showing his vulnerable self, because he's absolutely confident he won't be hurt.

Sebastian is always close to Ciel. Even too close. And the weird way he carries Young Master. It's clearly unappropiate and he doesn't seem to care about boundaries. Because Ciel is what he desires the most, and he *owns* him. Ciel is his treasure, his prize, his most precious possesion. Ciel is *his*. He's always being possesive, showing the world Ciel belongs *only* to him, while also being (somehow) gentle and caring.

(The topic of how Sebastian uses his sexuality as a weapon is pretty interesting as well, but not today!!)

Surprisingly, the fanservice does wonders to develop the duality of their dynamics. It perfectly showcases both the "light" and "dark" between them. Intimacy, healing, confidence absolute trust, caring for each other. Codependency, unhealthy desire, possesiveness, manipulation.

They're two sides of the same coin.

On the other hand, in contrast with Sebastian and Ciel's relationship, I think it's interesting how scenes involving real sex are not sexualized at all??

Sebastian and Beast are both really attractive characters, and they could be used in a more "fanservicey" way. However, their scene together it's short and uncomfortable. The intimacy between them feels fake, everything seems off. Beast doesn't look like he's actually enjoying anything. It's pretty clear she's being abused, and thanks Goodness there's no romantization nor explicit borderline fetish content. Instead, it does a great a job creating a "something is wrong here" atmosphere.

The Blue Memory flashback. It's disgusting and makes me physically ill, but it's able to do so without being explicit. It's really powerful without being morbid. Absolutely no fanservice here. Thanks Goodness again.

Like in real life, in Black Butler sexuality can be a safe place (Ciel and Sebastian), or a source of violence and pain.

Imo Yana is a better writer than you all give her credit for. She may be a shotacon or whatever, but at least she is coherent with the overall tone of her story and can be respectful when it's due. Despite all the fanservice at some points, I feel she's great at knowing when to do or not do it.

At the end of the day, I find fascinating how sex and sexualization are used in Black Butler. Sebastian and Ciel's relationship has nothing to do with sex, yet is so intense that I could argue that rather than being sexualized, their entire relationship is inherently sexual per se. If you remove that element from the equation, the main characters would be so different that the nature of the entire story would change.

The "fanservice" is not only fanservice, but what moves the characters and story foward.

Is it ethical?? That's up to you.

But for me, even if there are some uncomfortable moments, the result is worth it. A relationship so unique that you can't "tag" it. Both unhealthy and abusive, yet a safe place for Ciel to heal. It's problematic on several levels, but *that*is what makes it interesting.

Anyway, it's just fiction, and it's nice to explore different kinds of stories without hurting anyone.

[juniorig0327]

Thinking about my Robin AU, the origins of Percy, etc.

I wanted to play around with Percy being an experiment of some of the dark multiverse Batman variants because like, why not yk? I wanna do something different for once. And so I'm thinking maybe he was experimented on. At first he was a normal kid, but after losing his mom the dark knights found him and Barbatos decided Percy would be perfect, being as he was so very similar to Bruce. Percy had everything a kid could want, despite not being rich, despite his shitty step-dad. But he made one kid mistake and now his mom was gone and he was stuck living to his step dad. Until the Dark Knights found him and took him in under the guise of helping him, but they experimented on him instead and turned him into a weapon (Damian vibes, ikr?)

And so he's found, saved from whatever hellhole he was in, and naturally he has no idea how to act. So he studies Bruce Wayne, looks him up, and everything is sort of ranging from fake smiles to crazy ass "drunk" shit.

So naturally, Percy follows that example and after a few years, which is when the story takes place he's become a bit of a party animal and nobody can really stop him. And the only time he isn't taking like that is when he's Robin, which Bruce sort of did as a way to ground him.

Now whenever people think of the "angry" robin, that's basically what Percy is. He's sort of bitter, and has been for a while so he uses Robin as an outlet. That's not saying he isn't nice or kind, he is. Just generally to other members of the Bat fam like Jason or Dick, someone who can sort of understand.

Anyways, Percy is very emotionally driven.

I've been thinking about other characters and I think I want Grover to be his speedster. Grover would be the new speedster chosen by the speed force after the retirement of Barry Allen (I dont read alot of flash comics so apologize if i get some stuff wrong with these super heroes). Grover would be one of the people Percy is actual open with and they're essentially best friends. Percy is there for Grover when he has trouble being a hero (as Grover would be the least experienced) while Grover is there for Percy when he's essentially drinking and partying himself to death and helping him get back on his feet.

Next up we have our Kryptonian, who is apart of a lineage who left Krypton thousands of years prior to the explosion. Their family has been living at the same planet for a while now, but he's bored. He wants to go out and explore what other planets space has to offer and ends up on Earth. Now, I actually have zero idea what character I want to make this because I wanted to make Thalia, Jason, and Reyna amazonians, which Jason being similar to Diana's brother (of the same name funny enough). He wouldn't be fully Kryptonian and would have some distant blood of other alien species from prior to them settling on whatever planet, but no crazy powers besides typical Kryptonian powers for now. So uh comment any ideas you have.

Now the next member is a Martian which would be Frank. I feel like Frank fits this role perfectly ngl. A Frank who's finally completed his training and joins Percy's hero team to prove himself.

Either Thalia or Reyna as the Amazonian, but probably Reyna. I don't know much about the wonder woman comics sadly so I'll have to come up with a backstory later.

Connor Stoll, seeking to break free from the Arrow Family, specificially his older brother, Travis and finding himself, leading him to joining this young superhero team.

And finally Annabeth Chase, who is more of an honorary member rather than anything. I think I want Annabeth to be possibly Batgirl?? I haven't though it out. Maybe she's a legit child of Bruce and was Robin prior to Percy and after the role of Robin became vacant but got seriously injured which led to Bruce essentially firing her.

Annabeth eventually becomes a vigilante in her own right regardless, even despite Bruce trying to keep her away from that life and steps up when Robin vanishes.

Anyways I was thinking about names bcuz there's no way I'm using Teen Titans. Maybe Outcasts (Or is it too similar to the Outlaws??)

I feel like I'm gonna have ALOT of fun with this and I think I'm gonna start writing it rn. Luckily for me I don't have to put alot of elaborate plot into this because its legit comics, but I do want to have some plot in here.

Anyways, coming soon than you think so, be on the lookout.

[a-dumbass-jester]

I love being a stranger avatar obsessed with vocaloid. Because like Hatsune Miku (and vocaloids in general) dont have cannon personalities ages or anything rlly. Their just mascots for the voice bank. They don’t have proper identities. They literally could be anything you want. You could say Hatsune Miku is a stranger avatar, or even the face of it and you’d be correct. She even aligns with it because of the identity thing!!

She even has a lot of designs/figures and songs that feel very stranger too (I am specifically talking about The Face by DaijobuP)

EDIT: ALSO I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT. Vocaloids can sound very uncanny because they aren’t human. There’re singing robots. They aren’t going to sound perfectly human all the time. especially when a lot of producers like to stylise their tuning

While I’m here I’m going to give an example of the identity thing, because why not. So Hatsune Miku is typically depicted as a bubbly and sweet because that’s what people typically do with her, and because it better to have something positive representing ur brand but if you depicted her as a self obsessed bitch, stuck up by fame, you wouldn’t be wrong either.

ALSO ANOTHER EDIT:: DANCE!! DANCING IS A MASSIVE THING W VOCALOID!! THERES LITERALLY MMD(MIKU MIKU DANCE)!!!! (You could also make an argument that mmds are uncanny because the movements are janky as hell (especially with the older ones))

[moonlit-dreamers]

its always kinda baffled me how my ocd wasnt recognized sooner but ive realized why it probably wasnt

bc my compulsions were "ideal" behaviors.

long ass post ahead so i apologize but i dont feel like going through and cutting the length down. its 12:30am and i wanted to write this down before i either read a book or write about my blorbos

i used to brush my teeth at LEAST 5 times a day. i hated when they felt "dirty". yk when you run your tongue over the front of your teeth and sometimes you can feel it be a bit textured bc of all the gunk on there? yeah i'd do it obsessively (haha get it cuz . cuz obsessive compulsive . ocd. i'll stop) and any time it felt even *slightly* dirty i'd brush my teeth. and if i didnt have access to a toothbrush i'd scrape off the plaque with my fingernails.

i explained this behavior to my dentist once. i'd looked into over brushing and how brushing your teeth more isnt actually better. i had a feeling that something was wrong. but when i brought it up they said it was fine. good, even. a bit unusual behavior but at least i was brushing my teeth, right?

the other was washing my hands. i HATED my hands feeling dirty (noticing a pattern?). if i touched anything i'd wash them. if i touched the table i'd wash them. if i touched the kitchen counter i'd wash them. if i touched glass i'd wash them. if i touched a person i'd wash them. hell, i'd even wash them after touching my own skin. every time i'd use soap and hot water. i'd scrub aggressively til my hands were red. i have eczema too so that made it exponentially worse.

nowadays i dont wash my hands nearly as much, only doing it when its considered "necessary" (like before and after eating food, after using the bathroom, after getting my hands Actually dirty (like with dirt or dust) and after being out in public spaces). usually just briefly throwing my hand under some warm water and scrubbing satisfies me enough if the compulsion is too strong.

but nobody ever considered it was an unhealthy behavior. i was washing my hands, right? i was cleaner than most kids. i rarely get sick. which honestly idk if its my immune system being strong as hell or if its bc of how clean my environment usually is. usually when i get sick its after ive been in a public space or if a family member spreads it. but i digress.

i also have responsibility ocd so i feel the need to always be in control of a situation. i feel like everything is my job and im the only one who can do it right. the feeling of me being the only one who can do it might be part of another disorder but blehhh this isnt about them. but my point is that i feel like everything is up to me. my bird is the biggest source of anxiety for me. what if im not taking care of him properly? what if hes sick and i dont know? what if im not cleaning his cage enough? what if im not good enough for him?

usually this leads to me doing research for around 30 minutes before getting overwhelmed and breaking down crying bc everywhere i look is conflicting information or its too overwhelming for me to handle. i see all these ppl take care of their birds perfectly. clean their cage once a week, make their chop like it requires no effort, easily change their cage around, clean the space everyday, train them everyday, have all the toys they need, etc. its difficult for me to see bc it sets up the internal expectation that i Also need to be like this.

i recently met someone who seems to have a lot of the same struggles that i do and honestly its comforting and has really helped me a lot with my whole "im a shitty parent and should give him away i dont deserve him".

but with that behavior it makes it seem like im a leader. like i *want* to be a leader. i really dont but i feel like i have to. ppl praise me for being so brave, for stepping up when others wont, for trying so hard and doing so well. internally im breaking apart. i dont want to do it. i dont want to do any of it. when i was younger i used to frequently think to myself "i shouldnt be expected to be an activist for my own rights at 15." my mom used to praise me for it and she still does. i really only try and do this stuff bc i feel like i have to. im trying to change it around into "this is something i Want to do bc i Want to make the world a better place, one step at a time."

but my whole point is that they never caught this stuff bc the compulsions led to "ideal" behaviors. i was clean, i took care of myself better than most kids, i was brave and stepped up when others wouldnt.

i wasnt happy. i was tearing myself apart inside. and nobody saw it bc i was doing what they wanted.

[hotchfiles]

Lari, I apologize in advance, but I really want to add to the discussion of writers supporting writers, because it makes my blood boil sometimes, lol, and I'm sorry if this gets long, and if i sound like a bitch but....

Okay, first off, interaction is important, period! Doesn't matter if you have no followers, if you are a writer with a few followers, or a writer with a lot of followers interaction is important, in every sense! And writers with a lot of followers should be VERY aware of that, because once upon a time, they were a smaller blog too, wishing for people to interact with their works.

Writers especially feed on the interaction, and especially seeing people's thoughts and opinions on their works, and that's where the comments and reblogs come into play!

One thing, that apparently, some big blogs seem to either forget, or not give a sh*t about anymore, because they are just too big now. People are interacting with their works, so they've made it, right? Wrong, because once again, your readers, and their interaction with your works made you big! So, instead of being high and mighty, return the favor by boosting the works you liked reading, written by smaller blogs! (Side note, I'm not hating on anyone, calling anyone out specifically, or etc. But I was a writer in another fandom once, and it was much the same, and it grated on my nerves then, and it's grating on my nerves now)

I was a writer that only used to like, when I was running my old blog, but on this one, reblog, reblog, reblog. Doesn't matter that I don't have a huge number of followers that can benefit from recs, I'm supporting the writer, and to me, that's the most important.

On the mutuals matter, I think you said it right. My works might not be my mutuals cup of tea, or theirs might not be mine. One thing i wanna add here, even if I have mutuals, who's works I don't read because x, y, z, every once in a while I'd reblog a work of theirs and be like "check out this person's works, they write great (character) fics". To me that's just a way to boost your moots, and who knows, maybe someone that follows you actually likes their works.

On indirectly being asked to read their stuff, I think there's nothing wrong with that, BUT! Like you said, if I'm going to support you, I'd expect you to support me too. It's not hard. I myself have asked others to read my works (on my old blog), but I've made sure to interact with them via asks, read and interact with their works, before and after asking! And not because I want to be transactional or anything, but because I genuinely enjoy their works, and asking them to read mine, yes, it might boost me up, but i just want to hear what some of my favorite writers think about something I've written. Later, those same people became my mutuals and I loved that we lifted each other up!

Finally, if some people aren't comfortable interacting, that's completely and totally fine!  What I wrote is for the writers, that honestly should know how tumblr and the community works, well enough to know that boosting people and interacting with people makes for a greater overall experience!

And to the anon that started this whole thing (if they are even reading this, lol), continue being supportive and interesting with the blogs you love, and the works you enjoy! If you still want to read the works of the writers you talked about, be a silent reader, lol. Like you said, they're doing fine! Devote your time and energy and interact with the people that will support you back, and are sweet and kind to you! And, be the person you are now, supportive, because it seems some writers tend to lose sight of where they came from when they grow, and to the ones that don't, you rock!

Again, I'm so sorry for this being so long, lol🥴 (also, if I'm being too bitchy, feel free to ignore and delete this, lol)

i dont even have anything to add you said it perfectly

i love that you mentioned the transaction part because YEAH its not about being a transaction or anything of the sort, its about being reciprocal, and treating others works like you want yours to be treated

i genuinely love reading and helping so i dont mind at all when people ask for me to do that, i just feel like that if you enjoy either my fics enough for that, i should be seeing you reblogging or commenting my fics and the people (really, people, it happens quite frequently) i mentioned just never ever ever reblogged or commented on any of it 😭

i honestly thought i was exaggerating it but it seems its been happening to a lot of writers so

please, writers (especially if you complain about comments and reblogs)

be reciprocal