#but if i make a change now people will notice somethings off about me. parents would get concerned if j did anything not in my room
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Until I Found You
Summary: Living in a small town had it's pluses and minuses. But when an older man and his daughter move in, things start to change, perhaps for the better.
Word Count: 24.3k+
Pairing: Logan (X-Men) x fem!teacher!reader
Notes: this is looong, and believe me, i was surprised when i realized that it ended up being 24,000 words.
this thing is a slow-burn, i was literally screaming at my screen saying 'just kiss already!' then realizing that, in fact, i'm the one who has to make them kiss or confess or do something.
reader has a last name, but other than that, she isn't described. this technically could be considered an AU of logan (2017) where logan survives, so this was written with old man logan in mind.
i would like to turn this into another oneshot series, so don't be afraid to send in any requests! (relating to this or anything else you want to see!)
warnings: none!
The small town you lived in meant a few things, everyone knew everyone, and everyone got in everyoneâs business.
A few months ago, an older man and his young daughter moved into town. You werenât sure exactly how old he was, of course you knew who he was, but even you had to admit, he was attractive. But thatâs what everyone thought, you heard the mothers who would pick up their children from school, looking at Logan as he picked up Laura.
It was nice to see a man who picked up his kid, though youâve never seen Lauraâs mother, so perhaps that explains why.
Laura was a quiet and sweet girl, at least thatâs what you thought. Apparently, she also had the spirit of a firecracker and got angry easily. And while sheâs visited the principalâs office at least 9 times since sheâs been here, you still canât help but see her as a cute little girl whoâs been through something traumatic, whatever it was.
You were standing outside with your class in the afternoon, waiting until all the students were picked up. Laura was in another teacherâs class at the end of the day, your coworker Emma Zhou. You and Emma stood next to each other, your classes mingling as they waited for their parents to pick them up.
Emma leaned close to you, âthis is my favorite part of the day, you know.â
âYeah, I think itâs everyoneâs favorite part of the day. We get to go home after this.â You replied.
âIt used to be that, but nowâŚâ Emma trailed off as you glanced over at her, âthere arenât a lot of people in this town who are good looking. But heâs a great new addition.â
You hummed noncommittally, so what if Logan was good-looking? It wasn't like you spent your time ogling him. He was just another parent in the sea of them, a bit rougher around the edges maybe, but nothing that special. Emma shot you a knowing look.
"Come on, youâve seen him, right? That scruffy beard, those eyes," Emma said, nudging you with her elbow. "Heâs like one of those rugged cowboys from the old Westerns."
"You sound like you're about to swoon," you teased, trying to keep the conversation light. You didn't want to admit you might have noticed the way his eyes softened when he looked at Laura or the way he seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"Well, can you blame me?" Emma shot back with a grin. "Small town like ours, and a guy like that shows up? It's bound to turn some heads."
You knew that much. All the women, even those who were married, always ogled him, but he either didnât mind or didnât care. His salt and pepper hair, the thick beardâhe was practically a wet dream for women everywhere.
Emma nudged you again, eyes gleaming with mischief. "What, youâre not even the least bit curious about him?"
"I mean, sure, he's... attractive, but I'm not about to join the fan club," you said, shrugging it off, though you could feel heat creeping up your neck. You kept your focus on the kids in front of you, especially Laura, who sat quietly on the steps, doodling in her notebook like she always did while waiting for her dad.
Emma smirked, clearly not buying your indifference. "Yeah, right. I see the way you look over there sometimes."
You scoffed, shaking your head. "You're seeing things."
Just then, you noticed Loganâs truck pull into the school parking lot. He stepped out, running a hand through his hair as he made his way over to the crowd of parents. Laura immediately perked up, her quiet demeanor shifting just a little, and she started gathering her things without a word.
"Speak of the devil," Emma murmured, but you ignored her, watching as Logan approached, his usual scowl in place, though it softened when his eyes landed on his daughter.
He gave a brief nod in your direction as he came closer. "Afternoon."
"Hey," you replied, casually. You werenât about to give Emma the satisfaction of seeing you flustered.
Laura stood up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder as she walked over to him. She paused in front of you, though, glancing up with those big, serious eyes of hers.
"Bye, Ms. Aberra," she said, her voice quiet but steady with a hint of her accent.
You smiled. "See you tomorrow, Laura."
She gave a small nod before taking Loganâs hand. He didnât say much else, just a simple âthanksâ before turning to leave with Laura in tow. You watched them walk away for a moment longer than necessary, noticing the slight limp in his step that he tried to hide.
"Y/N," Emma sing-songed, breaking you out of your thoughts. "Admit it, youâve got a little thing for him, don't you?"
You rolled your eyes. "You really need a new hobby."
Emma laughed, but before she could press any further, her attention shifted to another parent picking up their kid, and you were grateful for the distraction. Still, you couldnât help but wonder about Logan and Laura, what their story was. Everyone in town seemed to have their theoriesâsome more ridiculous than othersâbut youâd always figured it wasnât your place to pry.
As the crowd of students and parents thinned out, you found yourself thinking about Logan again. His gruff exterior didnât bother youâit reminded you of those old Clint Eastwood characters, tough but with something vulnerable underneath. Maybe it was the way he looked at Laura, so protective but with a softness that made you wonder what kind of man he really was when he let his guard down.
Emmaâs voice pulled you back to the present. "So, whatâs your plan for the evening?"
You shrugged. "Probably just grading papers. Maybe catching up on some Netflix. You?"
"Trying to figure out how to run into Logan at the grocery store," she joked, though you wouldnât have been surprised if she wasnât kidding.
You chuckled, shaking your head. "Good luck with that."
As you both said your goodbyes and headed to your cars, you couldnât help but glance over at Loganâs truck one more time. He was already driving off, Laura in the passenger seat, her head leaning against the window.
You let out a small sigh and got in your car, starting the engine. You werenât sure what it was about him, but there was something there. Maybe Emma wasnât entirely wrong.
Not that youâd ever admit that to her.
---
Much to your dismay, you had to go to the store once you were already clad in your loungewear. You wanted to make pasta, only to remember you forgot to get milk after work.
So now, here you were at the small local grocery store grabbing milk and a pint of ice cream for your troubles. The store was quiet at this hour, a few other people milling about but otherwise uneventful. You grabbed a basket and made a beeline for the dairy section, trying to get in and out as quickly as possible. Loungewear was great for a lazy evening at home, but not exactly your first choice for public appearances.
Once you made it to the frozen section, you looked at the pints of ice cream, specifically looking for one of your favorites, Ben and Jerryâs sâmores. âFuck.â You muttered, seeing a pint of cookie dough in the spot of the sâmores.
You angrily grabbed the cookie dough ice cream to look behind it, only to find a chunky monkey pint. With a huff, you looked at the pint of ice cream, mentally cursing your luck. Just as you were about to put it back onto the shelf, a deep voice spoke from beside you.
"Didn't figure you for a chunky monkey type."
Startled, you looked up and found Logan standing there, one eyebrow raised, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He was holding a six-pack of beer and a carton of eggs in one hand, the other casually resting in the pocket of his jeans.
You blinked, thrown off by the sudden appearance. "What? Oh, no, I was just... I was looking for s'mores," you explained awkwardly, holding up the ice cream like it was evidence.
He nodded, his smirk deepening a little as he glanced at the shelves. "Guess theyâre out, huh?"
"Yeah, my luck tonight," you muttered, a little embarrassed to be caught standing here obsessing over ice cream in your loungewear. Not exactly how you wanted to run into the guy you were definitely not crushing on. How could you? He was the Wolverine, around 200 years old, and looked to be the age of your father. Well, if your father was still alive. Or if you ever got to know him.
Logan glanced at the shelf again and shrugged. "S'mores is overrated anyway."
You quirked an eyebrow at him, momentarily forgetting your embarrassment. "Oh really? Whatâs your go-to then, Mr. Anti-S'mores?"
He smirked, that same low, gravelly voice coming through as he responded. "Not much of an ice cream guy, but if I had to choose⌠probably plain vanilla. Simple. Not too sweet."
You couldn't help the chuckle that escaped you. "Of course you'd go for the most basic flavor."
His eyebrow twitched slightly at that, and you could see the playful glint in his eyes. "Sometimes simpleâs the best option."
You rolled your eyes, grabbing a pint of vanilla. "Well, I guess I'll take your advice tonight, then. Not like I have much of a choice."
He gave you a brief nod, and for a moment, it seemed like the conversation would end there, but then Logan shifted slightly, his weight on one leg, clearly trying to mask the limp you'd noticed earlier. You werenât sure if it was from the adamantium or something else, but it definitely wasnât healing like it should. You found yourself biting your lip, wanting to ask but knowing better.
Instead, you went for something safer. "Lauraâs doing well in class, by the way. Sheâs sharp. A little stubborn, but sharp."
He glanced down at you, a flicker of pride crossing his face. "Yeah, sheâs a tough one." His expression softened as he added, "She doesnât talk about it, but I know she likes you. Keeps her distance with most people."
Your heart fluttered a little at that. Laura was a bit of a mystery, rarely engaging much with the other teachers or students, so hearing that sheâd let her guard down even a little with you meant more than youâd expected. "Well, sheâs a good kid. I try not to push her too much."
Logan nodded, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than you expected, like he was sizing you up in that quiet, brooding way of his. It made you feel both exposed and⌠oddly seen.
"Anyway," you said, breaking the silence, "Iâll let you get back to your shopping. Iâm sure youâve got more important things to do than stand around talking about ice cream."
He gave a small grunt that mightâve been a laugh, but it was so subtle you couldnât be sure. "Yeah. See you around, Ms. Aberra."
"Y/N," you corrected, feeling a little awkward. "You can just call me Y/N."
He hesitated for a split second before nodding. "Y/N, then."
You gave him a small smile, feeling a strange warmth at the way your name sounded in his deep voice. He gave a nod before turning to leave, but as he walked away, you couldnât help but steal a glance at his retreating form. There was something about himâsomething rough, broken, but undeniably captivating.
---
The next morning, you pulled into the school parking lot, iced coffee in hand, still replaying your chance encounter with Logan at the grocery store. Why did it have to be the one night you went out in loungewear? If Emma ever found out, you'd never hear the end of it. You mentally braced yourself as you walked toward the building, determined to shake off any lingering thoughts about last night.
As you entered the teacher's lounge to drop off your things, Emma was already there, nursing her own cup of coffee. She spotted you immediately and raised an eyebrow.
"You look a little too chipper for a Wednesday," she teased.
You shrugged, trying to act casual. "Just happy to be halfway through the week."
"Uh-huh," she said, not quite convinced. "You didn't run into anyone interesting last night, did you?"
Your heart skipped a beat. How does she know?
"Like who?" you asked, trying to play dumb, but Emma's smirk told you she wasn't buying it.
"Oh, I donât know... maybe a certain rugged cowboy-looking guy with a truck?" she said, her grin widening.
You groaned. "Seriously, do you have a sixth sense or something?"
"I knew it!" Emma practically squealed. "You did run into Logan, didnât you? Come on, spill!"
You rolled your eyes and took a seat at the table. "It was nothing. We just ran into each other in the frozen section, talked for, like, two seconds. Thatâs it."
"Uh-huh, and?" Emma leaned forward, eager for details.
"And nothing. We talked about ice cream. He said s'mores was overrated."
Emma let out a dramatic gasp. "Overrated? Now, I know he's not perfect."
You chuckled despite yourself. "Yeah, well, that's the most thrilling part of my story, so feel free to be disappointed."
Emma shook her head, still grinning. "Oh, I'm not disappointed at all. This is just the beginning."
"There's nothing to begin, Emma," you said, exasperated. "He's just another parent."
"Uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that," she said with a wink before heading out to her classroom. You couldn't help but roll your eyes again as you followed her out into the hallway.
---
The morning passed uneventfully, but Laura had been quieter than usual in your class. Not that she was typically the most talkative kid, but today she seemed more distant, even from you. Sheâd finished her assignments early, as usual, but spent most of the class staring out the window instead of doodling in her notebook.
During lunch, you decided to check in with her. You found her sitting by herself outside, picking at the sandwich Logan had packed for her. You approached cautiously, not wanting to startle her.
"Hey, Laura," you greeted, taking a seat on the bench next to her. "Everything okay?"
She glanced at you, her expression as unreadable as always, before giving a slight shrug. "Yeah."
You studied her for a moment, noticing the way she kept her gaze low, avoiding eye contact more than usual. Something was definitely off. You knew better than to push too hard, but you also didn't want her to bottle everything up.
"Well, you know if you ever want to talk, Iâm here," you said gently.
She gave another shrug, but this time, her eyes flickered up to meet yours briefly. "I know."
You nodded, letting the silence settle between you. Laura wasnât one for big emotional outburstsâat least not around youâbut you had a feeling she'd talk when she was ready.
"By the way," you said, changing the subject to lighten the mood, "your dad said he donât like s'mores ice cream. Is that true, or is he just weird?"
Laura looked up at you, her lips twitching slightly like she was trying not to smile. "I like s'mores."
"Thought so," you replied with a smirk. "Well, Iâm officially questioning all of your dad's taste now."
Laura didnât laugh, but her expression softened a little, and she took another bite of her sandwich. It wasnât much, but it felt like progress. You let her finish eating in peace, feeling a little more at ease knowing that youâd at least gotten her to relax.
---
The afternoon flew by, and soon enough, the end-of-day pickup routine was in full swing. You and Emma stood outside again, watching the usual parade of parents and cars. Loganâs truck was easy to spot as it pulled up to the curb. You tried to act like you werenât paying attention, but of course, Emma caught you glancing over.
"Still nothing, huh?" she teased under her breath.
"Shut up," you muttered, doing your best to seem disinterested.
Logan stepped out of the truck, his usual stoic expression in place as he made his way toward the school. Laura was already waiting, standing near the steps with her backpack slung over her shoulder. She saw him and walked over without hesitation, but before they left, she turned back to you.
"Bye, Ms. Aberra," she said, her voice a little softer than usual.
"See you tomorrow, Laura," you replied with a smile.
Logan gave you a nod as they walked past, and you couldnât help but notice the slight limp in his step again. It was subtle, but there. Your curiosity piqued, but you pushed it down, reminding yourself it wasnât your place to pry.
Emma, however, was still watching you closely. "Youâre so not fooling anyone."
You shot her a look. "Seriously, get a hobby."
Emma just grinned, clearly enjoying this way too much. "Oh, this is my hobby, Y/N. And Iâm going to enjoy every minute of it."
As you both stood there, watching the last of the kids get picked up, you couldnât help but glance over at Loganâs truck one more time as it drove away. Emmaâs teasing was getting on your nerves, but there was a part of you that couldnât completely dismiss what she was saying.
Maybe you were a little curious. Just a little. But you werenât about to admit that to anyoneânot even yourself.
---
Over the weekend you decided it was time to get an oil change. You werenât going to go to âMavinâs Oil Changeâ, not after that happened. Which is why for the past few years youâve been doing it yourself.
It wasnât difficult, and it was a lot cheaper, both wins in your book.
You walked around the hardware store, glancing at the shelves as you carried a new oil drain pan. You paused in front of the rows of motor oil, scanning the labels. Conventional had always worked fine for you, but maybe this time you'd splurge on the synthetic blend. It wasn't a huge decision, but it felt like a small act of treating yourself, in a way.
You were debating the pros and cons of the oil options when you heard the sound of someone walking up behind you.
"Didnât peg you for the kind to do your own oil changes."
You turned your head and were met with Loganâs familiar gravelly voice. There he was againâof all places, heâd found you here in the auto section of the hardware store.
"Yeah, well, it's cheaper this way," you replied with a casual shrug, hoping to mask the slight surprise in your voice. You gestured to the oil in front of you. "What about you? Conventional or synthetic blend?"
Logan glanced at the shelf, then back at you. "Conventional. Gets the job done."
"Figures." You grinned a little, grabbing the conventional oil off the shelf. "Guess Iâll stick with what I know too, then."
He raised an eyebrow at you, but there was a hint of amusement behind his usual stoic demeanor. "Figured youâd be one to overthink it. Syntheticâs not all itâs cracked up to be."
You chuckled. "Iâll take your word for it, Mr. Oil Expert."
He grunted in response, grabbing something off the shelf for himself. For a moment, you both stood there, surrounded by tools and motor oil, neither of you saying much. It was kind of niceâquiet, comfortable in a way you wouldnât have expected.
You shifted, holding the oil pan in your hands. "So, is Laura doing anything fun this weekend?"
Logan glanced at you, his face softening slightly at the mention of his daughter. "Not much. She likes to keep busy, but⌠this town ainât exactly got a lot going on."
"True," you nodded, biting your lip as you tried to think of something. "She could come by and help me out with my garden, if sheâs interested. I know she likes plants."
Logan looked at you, a little longer than usual, and you wondered if youâd crossed some kind of line offering something so personal. But then he nodded. "Sheâd probably like that."
"Cool," you said, feeling oddly relieved that you hadnât messed up. "Let me know if she wants to. I could use an extra set of hands."
He gave a small nod, but his eyes lingered on you again for a second before he turned his attention back to the shelf. There was that same weight to his gaze, like he was always sizing things up, figuring people out.
"You know," you said, breaking the silence, "Iâm starting to think youâre stalking me. First the grocery store, now here. Should I be worried?"
Logan snorted, shaking his head. "Pretty sure itâs the other way around."
You raised an eyebrow, pretending to be offended. "Excuse me? If anything, Iâm just a simple schoolteacher who likes ice cream and doing her own oil changes. Hardly the stalking type."
"Sure," he replied, the corner of his mouth twitching just slightly into what could almost be considered a smile.
You felt your own lips tugging into a grin, and for a moment, it felt easier. Logan wasnât always the easiest person to talk to, but something about these small, random moments with him made you feel more at ease than you expected.
"Well, good luck with your oil change," he said, turning to head down another aisle. "Maybe see you around."
"Yeah, see you around," you replied, watching him walk away before you continued shopping, a strange warmth lingering in your chest.
As you walked toward the checkout, you couldnât help but think back on how natural it felt, just talking to him. There wasnât any awkwardness or forced conversationâjust two people running into each other at the hardware store. Nothing to overthink. Except, maybe, the fact that you were starting to like these encounters more than youâd like to admit.
---
Logan blew out a breath of his cigar smoke. Laura said she didnât like it when he smoked inside so he started doing it outside on the porch.
A small added bonus was seeing you, a few houses down, across the street, currently underneath your car getting the oil to drain.
The door opened and shut behind him as Laura stepped out, âella te gusta,â she said softly.
He let out a huff, âkid, I donât know how many times I have to tell you, but I donât know Spanish.â
Laura let out her own huff, sitting down next to Loganâs chair with her sketchbook, flipping it open. She didnât say anything for a while, just started sketching in that intense, quiet way she had. Logan leaned back, puffing on his cigar, watching the smoke curl up into the air.
He caught himself glancing back across the street, where you were still working under your car. Laura's earlier comment lingered in his mind, even if he pretended not to know what it meant.
After a few minutes of silence, Laura looked up from her drawing. âYou should go help her.â
Logan snorted, taking another puff of his cigar. âSheâs fine. Knows what sheâs doinâ.â
Laura raised an eyebrow at him, her expression skeptical. âYouâre always saying people shouldnât be doinâ stuff like that alone. What if something happens?â
âYeah, but sheâs not helpless,â he grunted, though there was something in his tone that sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than her.
Laura shrugged and went back to her sketch. âStill think you should.â
Logan glanced at her, then back at you. You were sliding out from under the car, wiping your hands on your jeans, looking like youâd handled it just fine. He grunted again, though this time it was more to himself.
âWhat are you drawing?â he asked, trying to change the subject.
Laura held up her sketchbook, showing him a detailed drawing of a plantâa vine with thorns twisting around a branch. It reminded him of your garden, something about the way the plants seemed to grow wild but still had a certain beauty to them.
âThat for Ms. Aberra?â Logan asked, the name slipping out before he could stop it. He tried to keep his tone casual, but Laura shot him a knowing look.
âMaybe.â She shrugged, but there was a smirk playing on her lips. âShe likes plants. Thought sheâd like this.â
Logan just nodded, staying quiet. He wasnât about to get into a conversation with an eleven-year-old about why heâd noticed things about your garden or how you seemed to have a way with plants. That wasnât his style.
âWhy donât you go show her?â Logan suggested, nodding toward you as you gathered up your tools.
Laura seemed to think about it for a second, then shook her head. âMaybe later. Sheâs busy.â
Logan raised an eyebrow at her but didnât push it. He knew better than to try and make Laura do something if she wasnât in the mood. The kid had a stubborn streak a mile wide. Though he supposes it was his fault.
A teenage girl who was walking a dog, a tan pit bull, stopped in front of your driveway, the dog happily wagging its tail as it patiently waited for you to say hello.
You were still wiping the oil off your hands when you noticed the pair. "Hey, there.â You smiled as you crouched down to greet Juno, who leaned eagerly into your hand, her tail wagging excitedly. "How are you, Juno?" you cooed, giving the pit bull a good scratch behind the ears.
The teenage girl holding the leash smiled politely. âSheâs been dying to see you again,â she said, giving the leash a little slack so the dog could get closer.
"Well, Iâm always happy to see her." You grinned as the dog nudged your leg, clearly wanting more attention. "Been a busy evening?â
The girl shrugged. âYeah, but Juno here makes it better. You know how it is.â
You nodded. "Definitely. Plants are my version of Juno. Or baking, itâs hard to decide.â
The girl chuckled lightly before glancing at the car behind you. âDoing your own oil change?â
"Yep," you said, standing up and wiping your hands again on the rag. "Easier and cheaper than going to a shop."
She raised an eyebrow. "Impressive. I wouldnât even know where to start."
âYouâd be surprised how easy it is. YouTube tutorials, mostly,â you said, shrugging as you wiped your hands on the rag.
The girl smiled. "I might have to try that next time. If I donât mess up my car in the process.â
You laughed. "Thatâs what the tutorials are for. But yeah, itâs not too bad. Youâd get the hang of it."
As you chatted with the girl for a bit longer, Juno continued to happily soak up the attention. You scratched behind her ears one more time before standing up straight. âWell, good luck with the rest of your walk. Always nice seeing you two.â
âSame here,â the girl replied, tugging gently on Junoâs leash. âCâmon, girl. Letâs get home.â
You waved as they continued down the street, Juno looking back at you with her tail wagging. With a satisfied sigh, you turned back to finish cleaning up, putting away the oil pan and bottles of motor oil.
Across the street, Logan puffed his cigar, watching as you gathered your tools and wiped your hands one more time. Laura had gone back to her sketching, though every now and then sheâd glance up at him with that same look.
âSheâs done now,â Laura said after a moment, still sketching.
âI can see that,â Logan grumbled, tapping ash off the end of his cigar.
âStill think you should go help,â she added, not even bothering to look up this time.
Logan huffed, staring at you as you double-checked your work and began packing up. He didnât need to helpâyou were obviously handling everything just fine. But still, there was something about the way you worked so methodically, so determined. Youâd done it all yourself, like you didnât need anyoneâs help. He couldnât quite shake the feeling, though, that maybe he wanted to offer it anyway.
âKid, you sure know how to push buttons,â he muttered under his breath.
Laura just smirked, flipping another page in her sketchbook.
Logan grumbled to himself for a moment longer before standing up from his chair, tapping out the last of his cigar in the ashtray. âStay here.â
He walked across the street toward your driveway, hands in his jacket pockets, his eyes set on you as you knelt by the toolbox, sorting through the remaining tools.
âYou done already?â he called out, making his presence known.
You glanced up, not expecting to see him again so soon. âYeah, just finished up,â you replied, standing up and wiping your hands on the rag again. âWhat about you? Something break down?â
âNah, just figured Iâd see if you needed any help,â he said, his tone casual, though you could tell it wasnât exactly his style to offer assistance without a reason.
You raised an eyebrow, smiling a little. âYou offering to help after the jobâs already done?â
"Guess I am," Logan replied with a hint of a smirk, his eyes not quite meeting yours.
You couldn't help but chuckle. "Well, it's the thought that counts, I suppose. Next time, Iâll be sure to save the hardest part for you."
"Yeah, you do that," he said, his voice gruff but not unfriendly. He shifted his weight slightly, glancing over at the now-finished oil change. "You do this kind of thing often? Or just the oil changes?"
"Mostly just the oil changes," you admitted, as you leaned in closer like you were telling a secret. âI went on a few dates with Mavinâs son the first few months I was here and didnât go over well. Now he overcharges me.â You held up your hands, âbut if itâs something complicated, I promise I drive 30 minutes to the city to get it checked out.â
Logan's eyes flickered with interest, the corners of his mouth twitching into something resembling a smile. "That right? Well, can't say I'm surprised. Mavin's a bit of a jerk."
You chuckled softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Yeah, he wasn't thrilled about me ghosting his son, that's for sure. But hey, I learned how to change my own oil, so I guess something good came out of it."
Logan grunted in agreement, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He didn't say much after that, his eyes lingering on you as if he were trying to piece together something that didn't quite fit. You had a feeling he wasn't used to people like youâpeople who seemed to find their way into his life, one way or another.
"Well," you said, breaking the silence, "thanks for the offer, even if the jobâs already done." You smiled, a little uncertain about what to do next. "Guess I'll see you around."
He nodded, but didn't make a move to leave. "Laura likes you, you know."
That caught you off guard. "Oh," you replied, a bit flustered. "Well, I like her too. She's a good kid. Smart, but... you already know that."
"Yeah," Logan muttered, his voice softer than usual. "She doesnât open up to many people. But you... youâre different."
You weren't sure how to respond to that, so you just nodded, feeling an unexpected warmth spread through your chest. "Iâm glad she feels comfortable around me. Sheâs been through a lot."
Logan's eyes darkened slightly, a shadow passing over his features. "More than most," he agreed, his voice rough with something that sounded a lot like guilt.
You wanted to reach out, to say something that might make him feel better, but words failed you. So instead, you just stood there, the silence stretching between you, not awkward but charged with something unspoken.
"Anyway," Logan said, clearing his throat as if to shake off the heavy moment. "If you ever need help with the car, you know where to find me. Or Laura."
You smiled, feeling that warmth again. "Iâll keep that in mind. And if you two ever need help with, I donât know, math homework or... anything else, you know where to find me."
He nodded, a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips. "Noted."
You watched as he turned to leave, feeling a strange mix of relief and disappointment. As he walked back toward his house, you couldn't help but feel that maybe, just maybe, this was the start of something more than just friendly encounters at the store.
---
During lunch, you sat in your classroom, enjoying 30 minutes of peace and quiet before the kids came back into the room. The soft hum of the heater filled the space, making the room feel warmer than usual as you flipped through the stack of quizzes you needed to grade. The formulas and diagrams were a blur as your mind drifted back to the weekend, specifically to Logan.
The way heâd offered to help with your oil change, the quiet moments that had followedâit was so unlike him. Or maybe, you realized, you just didnât know him well enough yet. Either way, something about it had left you feeling... something.
A soft knock on the doorframe pulled you from your thoughts. You looked up to see Emma standing in the doorway, that cheeky grin on her face.
âSo,â she started, stepping inside your classroom. âI hear youâre making friends with a certain someone across the street.â
You rolled your eyes, setting down the quiz youâd been half-grading. âIâm not âmaking friends.â We just happen to run into each other.â
Emma raised an eyebrow, crossing her arms. âMhm. Sure. Totally normal for him to come help with your oil change, right?â
"My God, how do you know?" you asked, eyes widening in disbelief as you sat back in your chair.
Emma smirked, leaning against the doorway like she had all the time in the world. "Small town. You know how people talk." She paused, eyes gleaming with amusement. "Besides, youâre not exactly subtle. Logan? The gruff guy across the street? Itâs hard to miss that you two have been... running into each other more than usual."
You sighed, rubbing your temple. "Itâs not like that. He just offered to help with my car, and Lauraâ"
Emmaâs grin widened. "Ah, Laura. Thatâs the key, isnât it? Iâve seen how she looks at you. That kid doesnât warm up to just anyone. Sheâs a little... prickly, but with you? Sheâs different."
"Sheâs a good kid," you said, trying to deflect. "Sheâs been through a lot, you know? I just think she needs someone to talk to. Someone whoâs not... intimidating."
"Sure, sure," Emma teased, walking further into the room and sitting on the edge of one of the desks. "But you canât tell me there isnât something more going on between you and Logan. I mean, come on. He doesnât exactly strike me as the âfriendly neighborâ type. More like âleave me alone or Iâll stab you with my clawsâ type."
You chuckled despite yourself. "Okay, yeah, heâs not exactly Mr. Rogers. But itâs not like weâre... you know, itâs justâ"
"Flirting?" Emma offered with a raised eyebrow.
"Friendly," you corrected quickly, though the warmth in your cheeks betrayed you. "Itâs just friendly. Heâs Lauraâs dad, and weâve talked a few times, but thatâs it."
Emma gave you a knowing look. "Uh-huh. Sure. And Iâm the Queen of England."
You groaned, pushing your quizzes aside. "Why are you so obsessed with this?"
"Because," Emma said with a shrug, "itâs about time you had a little fun in this town. You spend all your time either at school or working on that garden of yours. You deserve to have a life outside of grading papers and pulling weeds."
"I have a life," you protested.
Emma raised an eyebrow. "Really? And when was the last time you went on a date?"
You opened your mouth to reply, but quickly closed it, realizing you didnât have a good answer. "Okay, fine," you admitted, "itâs been a while. But that doesnât meanâ"
"Exactly my point," Emma interrupted, flashing a triumphant grin. "Look, Iâm not saying you have to marry the guy. But Logan? Heâs clearly interested. And I think you are too."
"Okay⌠even if I was interested, Iâm pretty sure a guy like that doesnât have dating or relationships on his mind. Especially with someone like me." You leaned back in your chair, feeling a mix of frustration and doubt.
Emma gave you a skeptical look, shaking her head. "Someone like you? Come on, Y/N. Donât sell yourself short. Youâre smart, funny, and clearly, Logan thinks youâre worth his time. Heâs not just helping anyone with an oil change, believe me."
You sighed, crossing your arms. "Itâs not that simple. You know what heâs been through. And Laura... sheâs been through so much already. Iâm not about to mess with their lives."
Emma smirked, tapping her fingers on the desk. "Mess with their lives? Or make their lives better? Laura clearly likes you, Y/N. Sheâs practically glued to your side when youâre around. And Logan? Heâs different with you. I see it."
You frowned, picking up a pen and twirling it between your fingers. "Lauraâs nice to me, yeah. But that doesnât mean anything. Sheâs indifferent to most of the other teachers, and she barely talks in class. I donât even know if she likes me, or if itâs just... I donât know."
"She doesnât warm up to just anyone," Emma pointed out. "Youâre different. She looks at you like she trusts you, and Logan trusts you too, whether he shows it or not. Thatâs not something that happens often with them. Theyâre... well, guarded, for obvious reasons."
You were quiet for a moment, thinking about Laura. It was trueâshe was quiet, distant with others, but with you? There was something different. Sheâd even started staying after class sometimes, just sitting there while you graded papers or prepped for the next lesson. And Logan? He was always nearby, watching, but never intruding.
Still, the idea of anything happening between you and Logan felt... complicated. "Even if he did trust me, itâs not like heâs the type to be thinking about relationships. The manâs got enough on his plate. And me? Iâve got work, and... Iâm not exactly relationship material."
Emma laughed, shaking her head. "Please, Y/N. If anyone deserves a chance at something real, itâs you. Youâve spent so long taking care of everyone elseâyour students, your job. Maybe itâs time to let someone take care of you for a change."
You looked at her, skeptical. "You think Logan is the type to 'take care of' someone?"
She smirked. "He already is. Heâs just doing it in his own way. And trust me, the way he looks at you? Thereâs more there than you realize. You just have to stop overthinking it."
Before you could respond, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Emma stood up, giving you one last knowing smile before heading for the door. "Just think about it, Y/N. Sometimes, the best things happen when you least expect them."
You watched her go, your mind still swirling with doubt and a tiny sliver of hope. Could there really be something more between you and Logan? Or was it just your imagination?
As your students started filing back into the room, you pushed the thought aside, focusing instead on the rest of the day. But even as you taught your lessons and graded papers, Logan lingered in the back of your mind.
---
Later that evening, you found yourself in the garden, pulling weeds and trying to clear your head. The sun was starting to set, casting a warm orange glow over the small town. You liked this time of dayâthe quiet, the calm.
Just as you were settling into the rhythm of pulling weeds, you heard footsteps behind you. Turning around, you saw Logan standing there, hands shoved into his jacket pockets, his expression as unreadable as ever.
"Need any help?" he asked, his gruff voice breaking the silence.
You blinked, caught off guard. "Uh, with the garden? Iâm just pulling weeds."
He shrugged, stepping closer. "Doesnât hurt to have an extra set of hands."
You smiled, feeling a bit awkward but oddly touched by the offer. "Sure, if youâre up for it."
Logan crouched down next to you, pulling at the weeds without saying much. The two of you worked in silence for a few minutes, the only sound being the rustling of plants and the distant hum of traffic.
Eventually, you spoke up, trying to break the tension. "So... Lauraâs been doing well in class. Sheâs quiet, but I think sheâs starting to come out of her shell a bit."
Logan glanced at you, a hint of surprise in his eyes. "Yeah? Thatâs good to hear. She doesnât talk much at home either."
"Sheâs a smart kid," you added, pulling another weed. "But I think... she could use someone to talk to. Someone she feels safe with."
Logan was quiet for a moment, then nodded. "Sheâs been through a lot. Trust doesnât come easy for her."
You hesitated, then asked, "What about you? Do you feel safe here?"
He looked at you, his expression softening just a little. "Safer than Iâve felt in a long time."
That simple admission hit you harder than you expected. Logan, this gruff, guarded man, was letting his walls down, even just a little. It made your heart ache in a way you hadnât anticipated.
"Thatâs good," you said quietly, your eyes meeting his. "Iâm glad."
For a moment, neither of you said anything. The quiet between you felt heavy but not uncomfortable. Loganâs presence was grounding, solid in a way that made you feel... safe too.
Finally, he broke the silence. "I appreciate what youâve done for Laura. She doesnât trust many people, but with you... itâs different."
You shrugged, trying to downplay it. "Iâm just doing my job. Sheâs a good kid, like I said."
Logan gave a low chuckle, shaking his head. "Itâs more than that. She trusts you. And... so do I."
Your breath caught in your throat at his words. There was something unspoken in the air between you, something neither of you was ready to address. But it was there, simmering just below the surface.
"Logan, Iâ"
Before you could finish, he stood up, brushing the dirt off his hands. "Anyway, Iâll let you get back to it."
You stood up too, feeling the weight of what was left unsaid hanging in the air. "Thanks for the help."
He gave a brief nod, his eyes lingering on you for a moment before he turned to leave. "Anytime."
As you watched him walk away, your heart was pounding in your chest. There was no denying it nowâthere was something between you and Logan. Something real. And it scared you just as much as it excited you.
---
Parent-teacher conferences always stressed you out. Gathering all your studentsâ information, organizing it all, it was hectic and unreasonable. You couldnât understand why an email didnât suffice.
Possibly the worst thing about it is the fact it took place in the school gym, which had no AC. The heat was almost unbearable, making your clothes stick to your skin as you shuffled through your notes, waiting for the next parent to arrive to your table.
The gym was packed, parents and their kids moving between tables as they talked to teachers, making the already stifling room feel even hotter. You fanned yourself with the stack of notes youâd organized earlier, feeling sweat prickle at your back.
You glanced at your list of appointments, sighing when you saw who was next: Logan. You hadn't expected him to come. Laura was doing well enough in your class, but she wasnât exactly the type to care about grades. You figured Logan would be the sameâpractical, but not overly concerned about school meetings.
You straightened up, glancing around to see him approaching with Laura by his side. She looked slightly uncomfortable, her arms crossed and her gaze focused anywhere but the gym, while Logan was, well... Logan. His expression was gruff, unreadable as usual, but there was something in his eyes that softened when he saw you.
âMs. Aberra,â Logan greeted as he reached your table, giving you a nod.
âLogan,â you said, smiling at Laura. âAnd Laura. How are you two doing?â
Laura shrugged, barely meeting your gaze. Logan pulled out the chair for her, and she reluctantly sat down, still quiet. He stayed standing, leaning on the back of the chair, watching you with that familiar intensity that made your heart skip a beat.
âDidnât expect to see you here,â you said lightly, trying to ease the tension. âLauraâs doing fine in class. Really, thereâs not much to talk about.â
Logan glanced at Laura, then back at you. âFigured Iâd come by anyway. See how things are goinâ.â
You nodded, pulling up Lauraâs grades on your tablet. âWell, like I said, sheâs doing great. Sheâs one of the best in the class, actually. Quiet, but I can tell sheâs always thinking.â
Lauraâs face remained impassive, but there was the slightest twitch of a smile at the corner of her lips.
âSheâs got potential,â you continued, looking at Logan. âEspecially in science. I think sheâd be great at anything she wanted to do, honestly.â
Logan grunted in response, but there was a proud glint in his eye. âThatâs good to hear.â
Laura finally spoke up, her voice quiet but clear. âI like science. And math.â
You smiled, surprised by her willingness to engage. âWell, youâre really good at it. I was thinking, if you ever wanted, there are some extracurriculars coming up. Science club, math competitionsâstuff like that. It might be fun.â
Laura glanced at Logan, who simply shrugged. âUp to you, kid.â
She seemed to think about it for a moment, then nodded slightly. âMaybe.â
âWell, no pressure,â you said, trying to keep it casual. âYou can always decide later.â
There was an awkward pause as you flipped through the rest of Lauraâs grades, though there wasnât much else to say. She was excelling, especially considering her background. You couldnât help but feel a little protective over her, knowing what sheâd been through.
âSo, uh, anything else you need to know?â you asked, looking back up at Logan.
He shook his head. âJust wanted to check in, make sure sheâs on track.â
You smiled, feeling the warmth in his words even if he didnât show it. âSheâs doing great. Really.â
Logan gave you a brief nod, his gaze lingering on you a little longer than necessary before he straightened up. âThanks.â
You watched as he turned to Laura, ready to leave, but she didnât stand just yet. Instead, she glanced between the two of you, her brow furrowed slightly like she was piecing something together.
âAre you... friends?â she asked suddenly, her voice cutting through the noise of the gym.
You blinked, taken aback by the question. Logan seemed just as surprised, his eyes widening slightly before he quickly recovered.
âWell,â you said slowly, glancing at Logan for a cue. âI guess you could say that.â
Logan cleared his throat, crossing his arms. âYeah. Somethinâ like that.â
Lauraâs eyes narrowed slightly, as if she didnât quite believe it but wasnât going to argue. âOkay.â
She stood up, her chair scraping against the floor as she started toward the exit. Logan hesitated for a moment, giving you one last look before following her. âSee you around,â he said, his voice gruff but softer than usual.
You watched them go, feeling that strange mix of emotions againâthe warmth, the uncertainty, the possibility of something more. As the door closed behind them, you realized that, for once, you didnât mind the heat. It was a small town, and people noticed everything. But you were starting to wonder if maybe that wasnât such a bad thing after all.
Laura grabbed his hand as they exited the gym, having already seen her other teachers. She looked up at Logan, as he stared straight ahead at the truck in the parking lot. âCreo que ella te gusta.â
He let out a huff, âkid, donât know how many times I gotta say it, but I donât know Spanish.â
Laura gave him a sidelong glance, clearly unimpressed by his response. "You should learn," she muttered under her breath, squeezing his hand as they reached the truck.
Logan grunted as he fumbled for the keys, a slight wince crossing his features as he slid into the driverâs seat. He glanced at Laura, who was already buckling herself in without a word. The silence between them wasnât uncomfortable, but it wasnât quite easy either.
He turned the key in the ignition, the truck sputtering to life as he pulled out of the parking lot. His mind wandered back to the parent-teacher conference, and specifically to Y/N. Sheâd always been good with Laura, he could see that. But lately, something about her seemed to calm him tooâa feeling he wasnât used to and didnât quite know how to handle.
âYou like her,â Laura said, breaking the silence with her blunt observation. It wasnât a question.
Loganâs grip tightened on the steering wheel. âSheâs a good teacher. You like her, too.â
âThatâs not what I meant,â Laura said, crossing her arms. âYou act different when sheâs around. You donât growl as much.â
Logan let out a low chuckle, though it lacked any real humor. âI donât growl.â
âYes, you do,â Laura said, looking out the window. âBut not at her.â
He didnât know how to respond to that, so he didnât. Instead, he focused on the road, trying to push away the thoughts circling in his mind. He wasnât a man used to... feelings, especially not ones that left him unsure. But Y/N had a way of sneaking under his defenses, and that scared him more than heâd like to admit.
âI like her,â Laura said quietly after a long stretch of silence.
Logan glanced at her, surprised by the soft admission. Laura didnât trust people easily, and she certainly didnât like many. But her words carried weight, especially to him.
âYeah?â he asked, his voice softer than usual.
Laura nodded, still looking out the window. âSheâs not like the others. She doesnât treat me like Iâm different.â
Logan felt a knot in his chest loosen, though he wasnât sure why. Maybe it was the relief of knowing Laura had found someone she trusted, or maybe it was the way Y/N had already become a part of their lives, without him even realizing it. Either way, he didnât say anything more, just drove the rest of the way home in silence, lost in his own thoughts.
---
The next morning, you thanked the stars that it was Saturday. You were exhausted from the large amount of human interaction last night and decided to sleep in a bit before tending to the garden.
After that, and taking a shower, you slipped into comfortable clothes, some small shorts and a large t-shirt that covered the shorts, since it only getting warmer outside.
Even with that said, you couldnât help but crave chocolate chip cookies, thanking the stars once again that you had all the ingredients.
You turned on the oven, allowing it to pre-heat, as you grabbed a mixing bowl and walked around your small kitchen looking for the ingredients listed on your worn-out piece of paper. You still hadnât memorized the recipe after making it for years.
The doorbell ringed as you poked your head out the side of your kitchen. When you answered it, you were pleasantly surprised to find Laura outside, wearing what you could only describe as a cute grey shirt with a colorful bear on it. Youâd never say it to her, sheâd probably leave if you said she looked cute.
âHey, Laura. Dâyou need anything?â
âDaddy said I could help with the garden.â She spoke softly.
âOof, sorry kiddo. Already did it this morning.â You looked back inside your house before turning back to Laura, âthough, I could use some help making cookies.â
Laura hesitated for a second, her dark eyes studying you as if trying to decide whether this was worth her time. You were still getting used to her quiet, guarded nature, but youâd learned quickly that she was different around you compared to other people. It was like you had some sort of unspoken understanding, even if you didnât fully get why.
âOkay,â she finally said, stepping past you into the house.
You closed the door behind her, walking back into the kitchen and grabbing a second mixing bowl. âYou ever make cookies before?â you asked, glancing over your shoulder at her.
Laura shook her head, standing by the counter as she watched you.
âWell, todayâs your lucky day. Iâm about to show you the magic of sugar, butter, and chocolate chips.â You grinned as you started measuring out the ingredients. âCan you hand me the brown sugar?â
She scanned the countertop before reaching for the brown sugar, silently passing it to you. You got the feeling she wasnât used to this kind of thingânormal, mundane stuff like baking cookies on a lazy Saturday. Not that you knew her whole story or anything, but youâd heard enough about Logan and his complicated life to guess Laura hadnât had a typical upbringing.
As you started mixing the butter and sugar together, you tried to think of something to say. Conversations with Laura could be tricky; she wasnât the chatty type, and you didnât want to push her too much.
âSo,â you started, keeping your tone casual, âwhatâs Logan up to today?â
She shrugged. âResting.â
You raised an eyebrow but didnât push further. Logan resting was a good thing. You knew heâd been having a rough time lately with his health, even though he wasnât the type to admit it. You figured he was just being stubborn, refusing to slow down even though it was clear his healing wasnât what it used to be.
Laura remained silent, watching as you added the flour to the mix.
âYou wanna stir?â you asked, offering her the spatula.
She looked at it for a moment before stepping closer and taking it from you. Her movements were careful, deliberate, and you couldnât help but smile as she focused on the task.
âNice job,â you said, giving her a thumbs-up. âYouâve got a future in cookie-making, I can tell.â
Laura didnât react much, but you swore you saw the tiniest flicker of amusement in her eyes.
As she stirred, you reached for the chocolate chips. âBest part of making cookiesâsneaking a few of these before they go in the dough.â You tossed a couple into your mouth, then held the bag out to her.
She paused, looking at the chocolate chips like she wasnât sure what to do. After a second, she picked one up and ate it, chewing thoughtfully.
You chuckled. âSee? Told you itâs the best part.â
Laura kept stirring the dough while you got the baking sheets ready. The silence wasnât uncomfortable, just⌠quiet. You didnât mind it, though. Laura wasnât the type of kid who needed constant conversation, and you appreciated that about her.
As she worked, you glanced at her again, feeling a strange sense of protectiveness. You didnât know what exactly sheâd been through, but whatever it was, you could tell it had shaped her into someone far older than her years.
When the dough was ready, you started scooping it onto the trays. âAlmost done,â you said. âThen itâs just a waiting game while they bake.â
Laura nodded, wiping her hands on a dish towel as she watched you.
You slid the trays into the oven and set the timer before turning back to her. âYou want some water or anything while we wait?â
She shook her head, her eyes still on the oven like she was trying to figure out why people made such a big deal out of cookies.
âWell, Iâm grabbing a drink.â You poured yourself a glass of water, leaning against the counter as you sipped. âItâll take around 12 minutes for them to finish. Then we put in another batch, and another until the dough has all been used.â
Laura gave a small nod, her eyes still focused on the oven. It was like she was trying to figure out if all this waiting was actually worth it.
You studied her for a moment, wondering what was going on in that head of hers. She never really said much, but it was clear there was a lot happening behind those dark, watchful eyes. You werenât exactly sure why sheâd taken to you, but you were grateful for it. Laura didnât let many people in, that much was obvious.
âI can show you a movie. Or maybe some music? I usually play somethinâ while I wait.â
Laura glanced up at you, her brow furrowing slightly. âMusic,â she said quietly.
You smiled, glad she was at least open to that. âCool. Letâs see what we got.â You pulled out your phone and scrolled through your playlist, landing on something mellow, nothing too upbeat or distracting. You hit play, letting the soft sounds of a guitar fill the room.
Laura leaned against the counter, listening, her arms crossed over her chest. She wasnât fidgety or impatient, just quiet, like she was absorbing everything around her.
You took another sip of water, watching her from the corner of your eye. âYou ever help Logan with stuff like this? Like cooking?â
She shook her head. âNo.â
You figured as much. âWell, if he ever asks, youâll be a pro now.â You winked at her, earning the tiniest of shrugs in return.
You both stood there in a comfortable silence, letting the music play. It wasnât awkward, just⌠peaceful. The smell of the cookies starting to bake filled the kitchen, and for a moment, it was easy to forget all the heavy stuff hanging in the airâLoganâs health, Lauraâs past, whatever weight she carried that you didnât fully understand yet.
After a few minutes, Laura spoke up. âI talked to Logan about you⌠last night.â
You paused, surprised sheâd bring it up. âOh yeah? Whatâd he say?â
She didnât answer right away, her gaze fixed on the oven. âHe said youâre... different from other people. In a good way.â
A warmth crept into your chest at that. âWell, thatâs nice of him to say. I think heâs pretty different too, you know. In a good way.â
Laura looked at you, her expression unreadable. âHe likes you,â she said, her tone flat, but there was something in the way she said it, like it was a fact she was still processing.
You felt your cheeks heat up a little. âYeah? Well⌠I like him too.â
She stared at you for a moment longer before nodding slowly, like she was piecing something together in her head. âHe doesnât trust people. But he trusts you.â
You swallowed, not quite sure how to respond to that. âIâm glad he does. I mean⌠I care about him, Laura. And you too.â
Lauraâs eyes flickered with somethingâmaybe understanding, maybe something else you couldnât quite name. She didnât say anything for a while, just looked down at the floor.
Before the silence could stretch too long, the oven timer beeped, cutting through the moment.
âCookies are done,â you said, turning to grab the oven mitts. You pulled the trays out, setting them on the counter to cool. The smell was even stronger now, warm and sweet, filling the entire kitchen. âWanna taste test one?â
Laura hesitated for a second before nodding.
You carefully lifted a cookie from the tray, holding it out to her. âCareful, itâs hot.â
She took it, blowing on it before taking a small bite. You watched as she chewed, her face still neutral, but you could tell she liked it.
âGood, right?â you asked, biting into one yourself.
Laura nodded again, chewing slowly. For a split second, you thought you saw a hint of a smile tug at the corner of her mouth, but it was gone just as quickly as it came.
As you both stood there, munching on cookies, the air felt lighter, like some kind of invisible barrier between you had shifted just a little. You didnât know all of Lauraâs story, but you didnât need to. What mattered was that she was here, sharing this small moment with you, and that was enough.
âSo,â you said after a few minutes, breaking the silence. âWhat should we do next? More cookies? Or maybe try out that movie?â
Laura looked at the remaining dough, then back at you. âMore cookies.â
You grinned. âGood choice. Letâs make this batch even better.â
---
After all the cookies came out of the oven, you sent Laura home with a container of some of the batch. You could never eat them all on your own, and you ended up giving some away anyways, so why not give some to Laura?
You walked Laura to your front door and watched as she crossed the street, her figure disappearing behind the door three houses down. There was always something surreal about the way she movedâso quiet, so controlled, like she had learned to blend into the background. It made you wonder what her life had been like before coming here.
When Laura walked in, the container held tightly to her chest, Logan sat on the couch, the soft murmur of the TV barely audible as he sipped from a whiskey bottle. His eyes flicked over to her as the door clicked shut behind her.
âYou were gone a while,â he muttered, his voice rough but not harsh.
Laura shrugged, walking past him toward the kitchen. âMade cookies.â
Logan raised an eyebrow, watching her disappear from view. The faint clinking of a container hitting the counter reached his ears. He knew she didnât do stuff like this unless someone dragged her into it. âWith Y/N?â he asked, taking another sip.
Laura reappeared, nodding as she plopped down beside him on the couch, the container of cookies now on the coffee table.
Logan stared at it for a moment, then gave a small grunt of approval. He reached over and grabbed a cookie from the container, breaking off a piece and popping it into his mouth. He chewed slowly, savoring the sweetness that felt out of place in his usual world of bitterness and whiskey.
âNot bad,â he muttered, glancing at Laura. âYou help with these?â
She shrugged again, still watching the TV, but there was a hint of satisfaction in her expression that didnât go unnoticed by Logan.
âHmm,â he grunted, leaning back. âMaybe next time, you can bring some whiskey to wash âem down.â
Laura didnât smile, but her lips twitched slightly as if she was trying not to.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes, the low hum of the TV filling the room. Loganâs thoughts drifted back to Y/N. He didnât trust people easilyânever had, and probably never would. But Y/N was different. Heâd seen how she handled Laura, how she didnât push too hard or ask too many questions. And she was patient, something Logan knew he didnât have much of.
âY/Nâs a good one,â he said quietly, almost to himself.
Laura didnât say anything, but she shifted slightly, leaning her head against the arm of the couch.
Logan watched her for a moment, then sighed, running a hand through his graying hair. He knew settling down wasnât really in his nature, but for Lauraâs sakeâand maybe a bit for his ownâhe was trying. And Y/N? She made that easier, even if he didnât want to admit it.
âShe ask about me?â Logan asked, more curious than he wanted to let on.
Laura nodded, her eyes still on the screen. âYeah. I told her you were resting.â
Logan snorted. âResting. Thatâs a nice way of putting it.â
Laura didnât respond, and Logan didnât push further. He knew what Y/N probably thoughtâthat he was just some grumpy guy with a limp, maybe a few too many scars for comfort. She didnât know the half of it. But she didnât pry either, and for that, he was grateful.
âGuess Iâll have to thank her for the cookies,â Logan said after a while, taking another sip from the bottle. His mind wandered to the thought of Y/Nâthe way she smiled when she was around Laura, how she always seemed to have the right balance of patience and understanding. It wasnât just anyone who could handle a kid like Laura, let alone make her feel comfortable enough to bake cookies on a Saturday.
âShe likes you too, you know,â Laura said suddenly, her voice cutting through the quiet.
Loganâs brow furrowed. âWhat?â
âY/N,â Laura clarified, her tone as flat as ever. âShe likes you.â
Logan chuckled, though there was a bit of discomfort behind it. âYou donât know that, kid.â
Laura looked at him, her gaze piercing and a little too wise for someone her age. âShe does. I can tell.â
Logan stared back at her, caught off guard by how matter-of-fact she sounded. It was hard to argue with Laura when she had that look on her face, the same look that said she saw through everything and didnât waste time with pleasantries.
He cleared his throat, trying to brush it off. âYeah, well⌠thatâs her problem, not mine.â
Laura didnât react, just turned back to the TV. But Logan could feel her eyes on him for a few seconds longer before she settled back into the cushions.
Logan shifted uncomfortably, feeling the weight of Lauraâs words hanging in the air. He wasnât used to people âlikingâ him in the way Laura seemed to imply. People tolerated him, sure, maybe even respected him, but liking him? That was new territory.
He let out a sigh and reached for another cookie. It wasnât worth thinking about. Not right now.
But even as he chewed in silence, he couldnât shake the thought of Y/Nâand what it might mean if Laura was right.
---
A few days later, you found yourself at Loganâs house helping Laura with some of her English homework. You usually donât make âhouse callsâ to help students, but you couldnât deny Laura.
Logan stayed seated in the living room, drinking a beer and watching the TV. But really, he was pretending not to listen to their conversation in the kitchen.
âYouâre doing good, Laura.â You said.
Laura shrugged, her eyes flicking over to Logan in the living room. âCan you stay for dinner?â She asked you.
Loganâs head snapped up at that. He hadnât expected Laura to ask, but there was no denying that the kid had gotten attached to you. Before you could answer, Laura added, âI made something. With Logan.â
That was a lie, of course. Laura had barely touched the stove since the cookies, but she gave Logan a look that told him to back her up.
Y/N smiled softly. âI wouldnât say no to dinner.â She glanced at Logan. âIf thatâs okay?â
Logan grunted, shifting his weight. âYeah. âCourse.â
Laura gave a small nod, clearly satisfied with the answer. You smiled, pushing the papers aside. âGuess Iâm staying for dinner, then.â
Logan shot Laura a look, one that said what exactly are we eating? but she ignored him, turning her attention back to you. âItâs nothing fancy,â she said, which wasnât reassuring.
âWell, Iâm excited. Food always tastes better when someone else cooks it,â you joked, standing up to stretch your arms.
Logan watched you from the corner of his eye as he sat back down on the couch, pretending to be more interested in the muted TV than he actually was. You couldnât help but notice the way he seemed a little tenser whenever you were around, like he wasnât quite sure what to do with himself. He was trying to stay low-key, but you could tell he was keeping tabs on every move you made, every word you said.
âSo, whatâs on the menu?â you asked, trying to ease the quiet that had settled over the room.
Laura, sitting across from you, didnât answer right away, like she was carefully considering her next move. Loganâs eyes flicked over to her, waiting for her response.
âSpaghetti,â she finally said, her voice as flat as ever.
You raised an eyebrow, suppressing a smile. âOh yeah? Sounds good.â
Logan gave a low grunt from the couch, and you could tell by his expression that he was trying to figure out when theyâd supposedly made spaghetti. But he didnât contradict Laura, just took another swig from his beer.
âWell, Iâm looking forward to it,â you said, standing up from the kitchen table. âLet me know if you need any help.â
Laura didnât say anything, just headed to the stove where a pot of water was already simmering. You followed her, glancing at the nearly-empty box of spaghetti on the counter. It was clear she hadnât done this a lot, but the effort was what mattered. And if it meant spending more time with herâand Loganâyou werenât about to complain.
âIâll get the sauce going,â you offered, stepping beside her. Laura gave you a slight nod, sliding over to make room.
Logan watched from the couch, his eyes narrowing as if he was weighing the situation. He hadnât expected you to just roll with it, but then again, you always had a way of adapting.
âSo, howâs school?â you asked Laura, trying to keep the conversation light while you opened the jar of sauce.
âItâs fine,â she said, her tone noncommittal.
You stirred the sauce, giving a little shrug. âWell, if you ever need help with any other type of homework, you know where to find me.â
She glanced up at you, her expression unreadable, but something in her eyes softened for a second. âI know.â
The two of you worked in quiet sync, with Laura focusing on the pasta and you keeping an eye on the sauce. It wasnât long before the kitchen started to smell of tomatoes and garlic, the scent filling the air and making the small space feel cozy. For a while, the only sounds were the bubbling pot and the clinking of utensils.
Logan shifted on the couch, clearing his throat. âNeed me to do anything?â
You glanced back at him with a smile. âJust sit there and look pretty, Logan. Weâve got this.â
A low chuckle escaped him, though his face didnât change much. âThat so?â
Laura glanced at Logan, her expression unreadable, but you caught the briefest hint of approval in her eyes before she turned back to stirring the pasta.
Once everything was ready, you and Laura brought the food to the small dining table. You plated up the spaghetti, topping it with sauce and a sprinkle of Parmesan. Logan joined you both, moving slower than he probably realized, and sat down with a grunt.
As you all ate, the room stayed comfortably quiet. It wasnât one of those forced silences that felt awkwardâit was more like everyone was just settling into the moment. Laura was still guarded, but you could tell she was starting to relax, even if it was just a little.
âYou did good, Laura,â you said, twirling some spaghetti on your fork. âThis tastes great.â
She didnât say anything, just kept eating, but you saw her shoulders ease up ever so slightly.
Logan, on the other hand, glanced between the two of you, chewing slowly. He hadnât been big on cooking or anything domestic like this, but he could tell Laura had put in effort. He took another bite, grunting his approval. âNot bad,â he said quietly.
You smiled to yourself. This whole thing wasnât exactly what youâd planned for the evening, but it was nice in its own wayâjust simple, like normal people having dinner together.
As you were finishing up, Logan pushed his chair back, grabbing his beer bottle from the table. âIâll handle the cleanup,â he said, his voice gruff but not unkind.
You raised an eyebrow, standing to gather a few plates. âYou sure?â
Logan waved you off. âYeah. Laura and I got it.â
You nodded, stepping back. âAlright, Iâll leave you to it then.â
Laura watched you quietly, her dark eyes flicking between you and Logan. You could tell she wasnât used to this kind of thing, the casual ease of sharing a meal and cleaning up afterward. But she was learning, and it seemed like she didnât mind having you around for it.
âWell,â you said, grabbing your bag from the chair. âThanks for dinner, you two. Iâll see you around?â
Logan grunted in acknowledgment, giving you a nod. Laura followed you to the door, her small figure standing by your side as you reached for the handle.
Before you could leave, she spoke up. âWill you come over again?â Her voice was quiet, almost hesitant.
You smiled softly. âOf course. Anytime.â
She nodded, her face still unreadable, but there was a certain calmness to her now, a trust that hadnât been there before.
You gave her a little wave before stepping out into the evening air. As you walked back to your house, you couldnât help but think about how unexpected this had all been.
---
You muttered to yourself, hanging up the phone. Your sink had started to leak, and even though you were fairly handy, when you tightened the pipes, it did nothing.
So here you were, on your lunch break, looking for a handyman that didnât want to charge you $200 for a quick fix.
Emma walked in, holding a folder with her lesson plans. âSoâŚâ
You rolled your eyes, âdonât start.â
âWhat! Iâve told you, word travels fast. Rose saw you leavinâ his house last night.â
âRose?â You shook your head, âthat woman is 85 and still gossips like sheâs 20.â You put your phone down, âI was helping Laura with her English homework.â
"Helping Laura with her English homework?" Emma raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. "You mean, at ten o'clock at night? Sure, Y/N."
You groaned, leaning back in your chair. âIt wasnât like that. Sheâs struggling with some of the writing prompts, and Loganâs... well, you know heâs not exactly the best person for that.â
âUh-huh,â Emma nodded slowly, setting her folder down. âIâm just saying, you and him⌠thereâs something there. You can deny it all you want, but people see things.â
âPeople need hobbies,â you muttered. âBesides, Loganâs... complicated. Itâs not that simple.â
âIâm not saying it is,â she shrugged. âBut youâve been spending more and more time with him and Laura lately. Iâm just curious.â
You crossed your arms, narrowing your eyes at her. âCurious about what, exactly?â
âJust curious when you're going to admit you like him,â Emma smirked.
âI donâtâ" you started to argue, but stopped yourself. âEmma, heâs⌠I mean, I care about him, but itâs not like that. Heâs a single dad with a kid, and Iâm just the neighbor who helps out sometimes.â
âYeah, sure, Y/N.â Emma grabbed her folder and gave you a pointed look, âif you donât make a move, someone on the âWolverine Watchersâ will.â
You choked on the iced coffee you took a sip of, âthe what?â
Emma grinned, âthe âWolverine Watchersâ. A bunch of women in the town created a Facebook group about him. I joined out of curiosity.â
You blinked at Emma, still processing what sheâd just said. âHold onâthereâs a Facebook group about Logan? Are you serious?â
âDead serious,â Emma said with a smug smile. âThey call themselves the âWolverine Watchers.â Thereâs, like, at least 30 women in it. Maybe more.â
You shook your head in disbelief, sinking back into your chair. âThatâs insane. Why would anyone even...â
âOh, please,â Emma interrupted. âDonât act like you donât get it. Heâs rugged, mysterious, barely speaks to anyone, and heâs got the whole grumpy-silver-fox thing going on. They eat it up. Hell, even I get it.â
You glared at her. âYouâre not helping.â
She leaned against the desk, still grinning. âJust saying, donât wait too long, or one of them might swoop in.â
You waved her off, though a part of you felt oddly defensive about the whole thing. âLoganâs not interested in any of that.â
Emma shrugged, pushing off the desk and heading for the door. âMaybe. Maybe not. But are you interested?â
You opened your mouth to respond before shaking your head. âOkay. Iâm going to forget this part of our conversation and continue to try and look for a plumber or handyman.â
Emma laughed, clearly enjoying your discomfort. âFine, fine. But if you need help with Logan or plumbing, you know where to find me.â
She left the room at the same time Laura walked in. She walked over to the front of your desk and stared at you with those eyes of hers. âYou need help?â Laura finally asked.
You shook your head, âno. Just need a plumber. The sink in my kitchen is leakinâ.â
Laura tilted her head slightly, considering something. âWhy donât you ask daddy?â
You sighed, rubbing the bridge of your nose. âBecause your dadâs busy, and itâs not his problem to deal with. Iâll figure it out.â
âHe fixed the dishwasher last week,â she pointed out quietly, a hint of mischief in her eyes. âAnd the dryer.â
âYeah, but I donât want to bother him with stuff like this,â you countered, trying to ignore how her face lit up every time she mentioned something Logan had done for you. âIâm sure heâs got enough on his plate.â
Laura didnât respond right away. Instead, she leaned against your desk, her small fingers tapping lightly on the wood. âHe likes helping,â she murmured, almost like she was testing the waters.
You looked at her, raising an eyebrow. âIs that so?â
âMhm,â she nodded, but quickly glanced away, pretending to focus on the bulletin board behind you. âHeâs good at fixing things.â
You watched her for a moment, your irritation from earlier starting to melt away. It was hard to stay frustrated when she was being so earnest. âOkay, okay, I get it. But your dad doesnât need to be the townâs go-to handyman.â
Laura glanced up at you through her lashes. âJust tell him. Please?â
There was something almost⌠hopeful in her gaze, and you felt a twinge of guilt. Laura wasnât the type to ask for much. If this meant that much to herâŚ
âFine,â you sighed, holding up your hands in surrender. âIâll ask him. But only because you asked nicely.â
Lauraâs lips twitched in the faintest smile, a look of victory crossing her face. âThank you.â
âYouâre welcome, but youâre not off the hook yet,â you teased gently. âYou still owe me an essay on Newtonâs laws of motion, remember?â
She scrunched up her nose, making a face. âI know. Iâll finish it.â
âGood,â you nodded, giving her a playful wink. âAnd donât go trying to bribe me with homework just to get me to talk to your dad, okay?â
Lauraâs eyes widened in mock innocence. âI would never.â
âUh-huh,â you said skeptically. âAlright, head back to class. Lunch is almost over.â
She gave a small nod, then glanced back at you before leaving. âHe really likes you, you know.â
Your heart stuttered, caught off guard by her bluntness. âLauraââ
âJust saying,â she added quickly before ducking out the door and heading down the hallway.
You stared at the empty doorway, a mix of emotions swirling in your chest. Liking you? What did that even mean coming from an eleven-year-old?
You shook your head, trying to push the thought away. Logan was⌠well, Logan. Gruff, quiet, and often impossible to read. And sure, heâd been more present lately, but that didnât mean anything. He was just being a good neighbor.
You glanced at the time on your phone, groaning softly. Lunch was almost over, and you hadnât even finished setting up for the afternoon class.
âGuess Iâll ask him about the sink,â you muttered under your breath, more to convince yourself than anything.
Because if Laura was already noticing things, how long would it be before the whole town started talking?
---
That evening, after school had ended and youâd finally managed to get through the rest of your lesson plans, you found yourself standing in front of Loganâs place. It was only a short walk down the street, and yet, your feet felt heavier with each step.
You could hear the faint sound of a TV through the open window and the soft murmur of voicesâLaura and Logan, probably talking about her day. It was⌠nice. Domestic. Something that made your chest tighten with an inexplicable emotion.
âJust ask about the sink and go,â you whispered to yourself, giving a firm nod. âNo big deal.â
You knocked lightly, and a few seconds later, the door swung open to reveal Logan. He was in his usual attireâflannel shirt, jeansâand he looked at you with that same unreadable expression.
âHey,â you said, suddenly feeling awkward under his gaze. âI, uh, wanted to ask for a favor.â
His brow furrowed slightly, and he stepped back, gesturing for you to come inside. âWhatâs goinâ on?â
You hesitated, then took a deep breath. âMy kitchen sink started leaking, and⌠well, I tried fixing it, but I think I made it worse. Laura said youâre good at this kind of stuff, so I thought⌠maybeâŚâ
Logan raised an eyebrow. âYou want me to take a look at it?â
âYeah,â you nodded quickly. âIf youâre not too busy. I donât want toââ
âItâs fine,â he interrupted, already grabbing a toolbox from a nearby shelf. âLetâs go.â
You blinked. âWait, you donât want to, like, finish dinner or something first?â
He shot you a look that was almost amused. âIâm not gonna let your kitchen flood because of a sink. Câmon.â
You let out a small laugh, relieved by his reaction. âOkay, fair point. Thanks, Logan.â
âNo problem,â he grunted, stepping out onto the porch. âLead the way.â
As you walked back to your place, you stole a glance at him. Logan might have been gruff and intimidating to most people, but youâd come to learn there was more to him than that.
When you reached your house, Logan set to work immediately, inspecting the pipes under the sink. You leaned against the counter, watching as he tinkered and adjusted, his movements methodical and precise.
âYou didnât have to come over right away,â you said softly, breaking the silence. âI know youâve got a lot going on.â
He didnât look up, just shrugged. âItâs fine. Better to fix it now than let it get worse.â
âYeah, I guess,â you murmured. âBut still⌠thanks.â
Logan glanced at you then, his eyes lingering for a moment longer than usual. âYou donât gotta thank me every time I do somethinâ for you, Y/N.â
âI know,â you replied, offering a small smile. âBut I want to.â
He gave a low grunt, something between acknowledgment and dismissal, and returned his focus to the pipes. You stayed silent, watching him work, trying to make yourself useful by occasionally handing him a tool or holding a flashlight.
âYouâve done this before, huh?â you asked, breaking the silence again.
Logan didnât look up, but you saw the faintest twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth. âCouple times.â
âFixing sinks?â you teased, raising an eyebrow. âOr just everything?â
âEverything,â he muttered. âYou learn to handle stuff when no one else can.â
There was an unspoken weight behind his words, something you didnât pry into. You knew Logan had been through more than he let onâthere were pieces of his life you still hadnât put together, and you werenât sure you ever would. But that didnât stop you from being curious.
Instead, you chose to keep the conversation light. âWell, I appreciate it. I probably wouldâve made a bigger mess if Iâd kept trying.â
He grunted again, this time almost in agreement, and you couldnât help but chuckle.
âOkay, I walked into that one,â you admitted. âBut seriously, thank you. Laura was rightâyou are good at this.â
Logan tightened the last pipe and stood, wiping his hands on a rag. âShe talks too much sometimes.â
You shook your head, still smiling. âSheâs just proud of you.â
He didnât respond, his eyes darkening for a brief moment before he shifted the subject. âItâs done. Shouldnât leak anymore, but if it does, just call me.â
You nodded, feeling that strange tightening in your chest again. âGot it. Thanks again.â
Logan grabbed his toolbox and started for the door, but something in the air between you both felt unfinished, like there was something unspoken hanging there. Before you could second-guess yourself, you called out.
âLogan?â
He paused, his back to you.
âI meant what I said earlier,â you continued, a little more quietly this time. âI know youâve got a lot on your plate, and I donât want to add to it. But I appreciate you helping me.â
Logan turned, his gaze locking onto yours. There was something in his eyesâsomething you couldnât quite place. For a second, you thought he might say something, but then he just gave a slow nod.
âDonât worry about it, Y/N,â he finally said. âIf you need somethinâ, Iâll be around.â
He turned and walked out the door, leaving you standing in your kitchen, staring after him. You exhaled, feeling a mix of confusion and warmth.
Later that evening, as you cleaned up and prepared for the next dayâs lessons, you couldnât stop replaying the interaction in your head. Loganâs quietness, his willingness to help, Lauraâs knowing smiles. There was something stirring there, something more than just neighborly concern.
But you pushed the thoughts aside, reminding yourself of the practicalities. Logan was a single dad with a complicated past, and you⌠well, you had your own life to focus on. This wasnât the time to start overthinking things.
Still, as you drifted off to sleep that night, the image of Logan fixing your sinkâfocused, calm, and oddly comfortingâstayed with you.
---
Youâve never liked storms. Youâre not sure why, you grew up in Houston where it rained consistently and encountered a few hurricanes.
But when you turned 18, you went to college further north in Texas, getting away from the rain and finally getting sunshine and real heat, not humid heat.
It never rained much in the north of Minnesota, but when it did rain, it rained a lot. So much so that the school cancelled classes for the rest of the week.
You could use the time to catch up on grading assignments, but instead you found yourself barely able to keep your attention on the TV, flinching every time you heard thunder.
The storm outside raged on, lightning flashing every few seconds, followed by the rumble of thunder that rattled the windows. You glanced at the stack of papers youâd set aside to grade, but your mind just wasnât in it.
âWhy does it always feel worse at night?â you muttered, sinking deeper into the couch, trying to focus on the TV.
Then, a knock at the door startled you. You werenât expecting anyone, especially with the weather this bad.
You got up, hesitating for a second before opening the door to reveal Laura, soaked from head to toe, holding a small flashlight.
âLaura? What are you doing out here?â you asked, eyes wide with concern.
âOur power went out,â she explained quickly, shivering slightly. âDaddy said I could come over here since your lights are still on.â
You frowned, glancing past her toward Loganâs house, which was barely visible in the heavy rain. âIs your dad coming over too?â
Laura shrugged, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. âHe said heâd figure it out.â
You closed the door behind her, grabbing a towel from the bathroom and handing it to her. âYou shouldâve just called, you know. I wouldâve come to get you.â
Laura gave you a small smile as she dried off. âItâs fine. I didnât want to wait.â
You shook your head, unable to suppress a smile at her stubbornness. âOf course you didnât.â
The two of you sat in the living room for a while, Laura settling into the corner of the couch with her legs tucked under her, still glancing out the window at the storm every so often.
âHow longâs the power been out?â you asked after a few minutes.
âSince just after dinner,â she replied. âDaddy was gonna try and fix it, but he said it might take a while.â
You nodded, already feeling a little guilty. If the power didnât come back on soon, youâd probably end up with both of them staying over. Not that you minded, but it was one of those situations where you didnât want to impose. Especially with Logan.
Almost on cue, there was another knock at the door, this one heavier, more deliberate.
You didnât even have to look to know it was Logan.
You opened the door to find him standing there, drenched like Laura had been. His hair was plastered to his head, and his usual gruff expression was softened slightly by the rain dripping from his face.
âCome on in,â you said quickly, stepping aside.
Logan entered, shaking off some of the rain before giving you a nod. âThanks. Powerâs out, and I donât think itâs cominâ back anytime soon.â
You closed the door behind him and offered him a towel, which he accepted without a word. He glanced over at Laura, who had made herself comfortable on the couch, and then back at you.
âYou alright with us beinâ here?â he asked, his voice low but genuine.
âOf course,â you replied, waving it off. âIâm not gonna let you sit in the dark with no heat.â
Logan nodded, though there was something in his eyesâsomething like gratitude, though he didnât voice it.
The three of you sat in the living room for a while, the storm still raging outside. It wasnât exactly the most comfortable silence, but it wasnât awkward either. Just... quiet. Logan wasnât one for small talk, and Laura seemed content just to be around people, her gaze flicking back and forth between you and her dad.
As the night wore on, the storm didnât let up, and Lauraâs eyelids started to droop. You glanced at the clock, noting how late it was getting.
âYouâre welcome to stay the night,â you offered, glancing between them. âItâs still coming down pretty hard out there, and I donât think the powerâs coming back on soon.â
Laura perked up at the suggestion, but Logan hesitated, clearly uncomfortable with the idea. âWeâll be fine,â he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. âDonât wanna impose.â
âYouâre not imposing,â you said firmly, crossing your arms. âThereâs a guest bedroom, and Iâve got blankets. Besides, Iâm not letting either of you walk back in this mess.â
Laura, sensing her opportunity, chimed in before Logan could object. âI want to stay,â she said quietly, her eyes big and hopeful.
Logan sighed, glancing at his daughter, clearly torn. âLauraâŚâ
âDaddy, itâs still storming,â she added, her voice soft but insistent. âWe can stay, right?â
You jumped in before he could refuse. âItâs no trouble, Logan. Really. Laura can take the guest bedroom, and I can sleep on the couch.â
Logan gave you a skeptical look. âYouâre not sleepinâ on the couch in your own house.â
You rolled your eyes. âItâs not a big deal.â
âItâs your bed,â he grunted. âIâll take the couch.â
Before you could argue, Laura piped up again, her voice full of innocent mischief. âYou could both sleep in the bed.â
Your eyes widened, and you quickly glanced at Logan, whose expression had shifted to one of slight surprise.
âLaura,â you started, but she just shrugged, clearly enjoying this more than she should have been.
âWhat?â she said innocently. âItâs a big bed.â
Logan sighed heavily, rubbing the bridge of his nose. âYouâre not helpinâ, kid.â
Laura just grinned, her eyes gleaming with quiet victory. âI think I am.â
You cleared your throat, trying to regain control of the situation. âIâm fine with sleepinâ on the couch, really. Canât really sleep when itâs storminâ anyways.â
Laura, still lounging on the couch, piped up again, her grin growing wider. âYou could just share the bed.â
Your face flushed, and you shot her a look. âLauraââ
âWhat?â She shrugged, playing innocent, but you could see the hint of mischief in her eyes.
Logan sighed, his shoulders slumping. âKid, stop messinâ around.â
She held up her hands in surrender, but the teasing smile on her face didnât budge. âIâm just saying itâs an option.â
You shook your head, feeling a mix of embarrassment and amusement. âLaura, youâre gonna sleep in the guest room. Iâll be on the couch. End of story.â
Laura rolled her eyes but didnât argue. âFine.â
Logan glanced at you, his eyes softening for a brief moment before he muttered, âYou sure about this? I donât wanna take your bed.â
You waved him off, trying to sound casual. âSeriously, itâs no big deal. Just get some rest. Youâve been out in the rain long enough.â
He hesitated for a second, then gave a small nod. âAlright. But only because you wonât stop arguinâ.â
âExactly,â you said, smiling a little as you grabbed an extra blanket from the hallway closet and tossed it to Laura. âYou can get settled in the guest room, kiddo.â
Laura caught the blanket and headed toward the guest room with a little bounce in her step, clearly pleased with how things were turning out. You watched her disappear down the hallway before turning back to Logan, who was still standing in the living room, looking somewhat out of place.
âYou can leave your wet clothes by the door if you want,â you offered, trying to keep things normal, even though the situation felt anything but.
Logan gave a quiet grunt of acknowledgment, pulling off his soaked jacket and hanging it on the back of a chair. He moved slowly, like he was still debating whether to argue about the sleeping arrangements again, but thankfully, he didnât.
After a minute, he glanced back at you, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. âYou really are stubborn, you know that?â
You raised an eyebrow. âTakes one to know one.â
He chuckled softly, shaking his head as he walked past you toward your bedroom. âFair enough.â
Once he disappeared into the room, you let out a small sigh, running a hand through your hair. This was... not how you expected your night to go. Sharing your house with both Logan and Laura during a storm, with Laura sneakily playing matchmaker. It was almost funny, if not for the fact that Logan being this close made your heart race a little too much for comfort.
You settled back onto the couch, pulling a blanket over yourself and staring at the TV screen without really watching it. The sound of rain pounding against the windows and the occasional crack of thunder filled the quiet, but it was hard to focus on the storm when you knew Logan was in the next room.
Laura had probably planned this all along.
You glanced toward the hallway where the guest room was, wondering if she was already asleepâor if she was lying there, scheming her next move.
Thunder broke you out of your thoughts, making you flinch slightly under the blankets.
You settled deeper into the couch, but sleep wasnât coming any easier despite the exhaustion from the day. Your mind kept wandering, mostly back to Logan and how natural it had started to feel having him and Laura around. Maybe a little too natural.
A sharp crack of thunder rattled the windows, and you flinched again, instinctively pulling the blanket tighter around your shoulders. Youâd thought you were getting used to storms, but this one was relentless, dragging on with no signs of easing up.
Just when you started to think youâd be up all night, you heard the soft creak of the floorboards behind you. You turned, expecting to see Laura coming out of the guest room, but instead, Logan stood there in the dim light of the living room, looking as uncomfortable as you felt.
âCanât sleep?â you asked, your voice quiet but steady, despite the storm.
He shrugged, leaning against the doorway. âNot used to sleepinâ anywhere but my own bed.â
You nodded, biting back a knowing smile. âYeah, I get that. Stormâs not helping much either.â
Loganâs eyes flicked to the window, then back to you. His gaze was a little softer than usual, like the storm had taken some of the edge off his usual roughness. âYou alright? Heard you jumpinâ every time the thunder hits.â
You rolled your eyes, trying to brush off his concern. âItâs nothing. Just... not a fan of storms.â
âYeah, I noticed,â Logan said, stepping further into the room. He hesitated for a moment, then moved to sit on the armrest of the couch, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him. âDonât have to tough it out, yâknow.â
You looked up at him, caught off guard by the gentleness in his tone. It wasnât like Logan to be this open, to offer any sort of comfort. He usually kept things buried under layers of gruffness and distance.
âGuess Iâm just used to toughing it out,â you said softly, offering him a small smile.
Logan studied you for a moment, his eyes flicking over your face, like he was weighing his next words carefully. âYou donât always have to. Not with us.â
The weight of his words hung in the air, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. You werenât sure what to say. This side of Loganâthe quiet, protective sideâwas something youâd only seen glimpses of before, but tonight, it was like the storm had brought down some of his walls.
âYou donât have to worry about me,â you finally said, but your voice lacked its usual conviction.
âNot worryinâ,â Logan replied, his gaze steady. âJust statinâ a fact.â
The thunder rolled again, quieter this time, as if the storm was finally starting to let up. Loganâs eyes lingered on you for a beat longer, before he stood up, looking like he was about to head back to the bedroom.
But then he paused, glancing over his shoulder. âIf you want... thereâs room in the bed.â
Your breath hitched, and you blinked up at him, not sure if you heard him right. âWhat?â
Loganâs lips twitched in the faintest hint of a smile, but his expression remained serious. âI ainât suggestinâ what Laura was earlier,â he muttered, a little embarrassed. âJust... if it helps you sleep better, I donât mind. Couchâs not exactly comfortable.â
Your heart thudded in your chest, caught off guard by the unexpected offer. Logan wasnât the type to offer comfort lightly, and the idea of sharing a bed with himâplatonically or notâmade your pulse quicken.
âIââ You faltered, unsure how to respond. But something in the way he was looking at you made it clear this wasnât just about the storm or being polite. This was about something moreâsomething that had been quietly building between the two of you for a while now.
Before you could overthink it, you nodded. âOkay.â
Loganâs eyebrows raised slightly, surprised by your answer. He stepped aside as you stood, grabbing the blanket from the couch. Neither of you said anything as you walked down the hallway to your bedroom, the tension thick but not uncomfortableâmore like an understanding had settled between you.
Once inside, Logan shifted awkwardly as you took your side of the bed, pulling the blanket over yourself, trying to act like this was normal, like your heart wasnât racing in your chest. Logan laid down on the opposite side, keeping a respectful distance, though the bed felt smaller with him in it.
The sound of the rain outside softened, though the occasional rumble of thunder still rolled in the distance. You stared at the ceiling, hyper-aware of Logan beside you, the space between you feeling charged.
âYou good?â Logan asked after a minute, his voice low in the quiet.
âYeah,â you whispered. âIâm good.â
A beat passed. Then another.
âThanks,â you added, not just for offering the bed, but for being there, for not making this weird.
Logan turned his head slightly to look at you, his eyes soft in the dim light. âAinât nothinâ.â
But it was something. It was a lot, actually.
You both lay there in silence for a while, the sound of the rain becoming almost soothing. You could feel the warmth of him next to you, solid and reassuring, and slowly, the tightness in your chest began to ease.
Just as your eyes started to drift closed, Loganâs voice broke the silence again, so quiet you almost missed it.
âI meant what I said earlier,â he murmured, his voice gruff but sincere. âYou donât have to do this on your own. Not with us around.â
Your heart swelled, a mix of emotions you werenât quite ready to confront just yet. You didnât know what to say, so instead, you reached out, your hand brushing against his in the small space between you.
Logan didnât pull away. Instead, his fingers curled gently around yours, his grip warm and steady.
And for the first time in what felt like forever, you fell asleep without flinching at the sound of thunder.
---
You woke up to the sound of soft rain pattering against the window, the storm from last night finally easing up. For a second, you forgot where you were, until you felt the weight of the blanket and the warmth of another presence next to you. Logan. His steady breathing filled the quiet space, and you shifted slightly, careful not to wake him.
This was new.
You glanced over at him, his face relaxed in sleep, the tension he usually carried nowhere to be found. It was strange seeing him like thisâcalm, almost peaceful. You could feel the residual warmth from his hand where heâd held yours last night, and the memory made your chest tighten.
Carefully, you slipped out of bed, not wanting to disturb the rare moment of quiet. You padded out into the hallway, stopping by Lauraâs room to peek in. She was still asleep, wrapped up in blankets, her small body barely a lump under the covers.
You smiled to yourself, already suspecting that she had something to do with last nightâs sleeping arrangements. Laura was too clever for her own good sometimes.
In the kitchen, you started brewing coffee, the scent filling the small space. As you waited for it to finish, you found yourself staring out the window, your mind still on Logan. Last night had been... unexpected. But not unwelcome. The way heâd stayed close, offering comfort without making a big deal out of itâit meant more than you wanted to admit.
The soft creak of footsteps behind you pulled you out of your thoughts.
âYouâre up early,â Loganâs gravelly voice broke the quiet.
You turned to see him leaning against the doorway, his hair still a little mussed from sleep, but otherwise looking much like his usual self.
âCouldnât sleep much after the storm,â you shrugged, offering him a small smile. âCoffee?â
âYeah,â he grunted, moving to sit at the kitchen table. âThanks.â
You poured two mugs, setting one in front of him before taking a seat across from him. For a moment, neither of you spoke, just sipping your coffee in the comfortable silence that had settled between you.
Logan glanced at you over the rim of his mug, his eyes softer than usual. âYou sleep alright?â
You hesitated, remembering how easily youâd fallen asleep next to him. âBetter than I expected, honestly.â
He grunted in acknowledgment, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. âGuess the storm wasnât as bad as you thought.â
You rolled your eyes, trying to fight the heat creeping up your neck. âOr maybe it was the company.â
Loganâs smirk widened slightly, but he didnât push it. Instead, he leaned back in his chair, his eyes scanning the kitchen before settling on you again. âThanks for lettinâ us stay. Laura didnât give you much choice, huh?â
âShe didnât have to,â you replied with a shrug. âI wasnât gonna let either of you stay in a freezing house with no power.â
Logan nodded, his eyes drifting to the window. âPower should be back on soon. Iâll head back once itâs up.â
You didnât say anything, but part of you felt a pang of disappointment at the thought of him leaving so soon. You hadnât had many moments like thisâquiet, with just the two of youâand you found yourself wanting it to last a little longer.
Lauraâs quiet footsteps broke the silence as she padded into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes sleepily.
âMorninâ, kid,â Logan greeted her.
âMorninâ,â Laura mumbled, glancing between the two of you with a knowing look before plopping down at the table. âIs the power back on yet?â
âNot yet,â you said, trying to ignore the way she was eyeing you and Logan.
Laura just shrugged, grabbing the cereal box from the counter and helping herself. âGuess weâre stuck here a little longer, huh?â
You shot her a look, but she didnât seem fazed, her focus on her cereal. It was hard to tell if she was playing innocent or if she was just that good at pretending.
âSo, whatâs the plan for today?â you asked, trying to shift the conversation.
Laura perked up at that. âYou said youâd help me with my English homework, remember?â
You blinked. âIâuh, right. Yeah, I did say that.â
Logan raised an eyebrow, looking at Laura. âSince when do you need help with English?â
Laura shot him a quick look before turning back to you, all smiles. âI figured Ms. Aberra would be better at explaining it than you.â
You narrowed your eyes at her, starting to catch on. âIâm sure youâre doing fine in English, Laura.â
She shrugged, playing with her spoon. âYeah, but itâs better when someone explains it.â
Logan just shook his head, clearly not buying it either, but he didnât say anything, letting Lauraâs little game play out.
âWell,â you said, getting up from the table. âI guess we can take a look at it after breakfast.â
Laura grinned, clearly pleased with how things were going. âThanks, Ms. Aberra.â
You smiled back, even though you knew something was up. Sure, you had been helping her with English homework for a while now, but she didnât need the help. When she would show you her essays or answers to questions about a reading, they were always perfect. Still, you played along, grabbing your coffee and heading toward the living room.
âAlright,â you said, glancing over your shoulder at her. âGo grab your stuff, and weâll take a look.â
Laura jumped up, cereal forgotten, and dashed off to retrieve her things. You settled onto the couch, sipping your coffee and trying to push aside the strange feeling that this was part of something bigger. But what?
Logan followed you into the living room, sitting down in the worn armchair opposite you. He gave you a lookâone eyebrow slightly raised, lips set in that half-smirk he sometimes wore when he was figuring someone out.
âShe really roped you into this, huh?â he asked, voice low and rough.
You shrugged, trying to seem casual. âItâs not a big deal. Iâm used to kids asking for help with schoolwork.â
âYeah, but Laura? She doesnât ask for help unless sheâs got some kind of angle.â
You laughed softly, but the truth of his words settled somewhere in the back of your mind. Laura wasnât just a smart kidâshe was calculating. Youâd seen it in class and at home. The way she observed things, the way she always seemed to know what was going on, even when no one said a word.
âI guess Iâll find out,â you said, leaning back into the couch.
Before Logan could reply, Laura returned, a small notebook and a pencil in hand. She sat beside you, flipping it open to a random page. You glanced at the page, immediately noticing that it was filled with neat, almost perfect handwriting. The essay sheâd written didnât have a single correction or revision mark.
âAlright,â you began, pretending you didnât see the perfection in front of you. âWhat do you need help with?â
Laura handed the notebook over, her face perfectly serious. âI just wanted to know if the introductionâs strong enough.â
You skimmed through the first paragraph, and honestly, it was better than anything youâd expect from a sixth grader. If anything, it felt more like she was testing you than asking for actual feedback.
âItâs good,â you said slowly. âYour thesis is clear, and you have a strong opening sentence. You might want to make the transition to your first point a little smoother, but overall, itâs solid.â
Laura nodded thoughtfully, pretending to make a note in her notebook. You watched her for a moment, trying to figure out what game she was playing. There was no way she needed your help, but for some reason, she wanted you here. And Logan, too.
Logan just sat quietly, watching the two of you like he wasnât quite sure what was happening either. His hand rested on the arm of the chair, fingers tapping lightly. You could feel his presence, steady and grounding, even when he wasnât saying anything.
Laura glanced at her dad. âMs. Aberraâs a pretty good teacher, donât you think?â
Loganâs eyes flicked to you, his smirk back in full force. âYeah, Iâd say so.â
You gave Laura a suspicious look. âYouâre not just buttering me up for extra credit, are you?â
Lauraâs eyes widened in mock innocence. âNo. I just like the way you explain things.â
âMhm.â You werenât buying it, but it was hard not to laugh.
The quiet hung between you all for a moment, just the sound of the rain outside and the occasional scrape of Lauraâs pencil against her notebook. It felt⌠peaceful, despite the nagging feeling that something was going on beneath the surface.
âAlright, well,â you finally said, pushing yourself up from the couch. âLooks like youâve got this handled, Laura. I donât think you need much help.â
Laura blinked up at you, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at her lips. âThanks anyway.â
You caught the look she sent Loganâs way, and suddenly, it clicked. She didnât need your help with homeworkâshe was just trying to get you to stick around a little longer. Maybe even trying to give you and Logan more time together.
Smart kid.
Logan, of course, said nothing, just watching you with that unreadable expression he wore so well. You could never quite tell what he was thinking, and it both frustrated and intrigued you.
"So," Laura said suddenly, breaking the quiet. "Whatâs the plan today?"
You glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. "Youâre the one with the notebook full of perfect essays. I thought you had plans."
Laura grinned at that, not even trying to hide it anymore. "I was thinking we could all go out for lunch. Since weâre stuck here."
Logan gave her a look, but didnât say anything, clearly seeing through her. You stifled a laugh, playing along. "Lunch, huh? You paying?"
Laura shrugged, looking way too pleased with herself. "Iâll ask nicely. Maybe youâll cover it."
You shook your head, pretending to think it over. "Might be able to swing it."
Logan snorted. "Real generous of you."
"Hey, Iâm a teacher. Gotta budget wisely," you shot back, smirking at him.
Laura just smiled, clearly happy with how things were going, and it hit you againâshe was definitely playing matchmaker. Subtle, but it was there. Not that you minded. Spending more time with Logan wasnât exactly a hardship.
Logan leaned back in his chair, his eyes still on you, though. "Youâre sure you donât mind us hanging around?"
You tilted your head, genuinely surprised. "Logan, if I minded, I wouldnât have let you in. Youâre both always welcome here."
For a second, he looked like he was going to argue, but then he just gave a slow nod, like he was accepting itâmaybe even appreciating it, though heâd never say that out loud. "Thanks."
You shrugged, trying to act like it wasnât a big deal, even though you knew it kind of was. "Donât mention it."
Laura got up, stretching her arms over her head before grabbing her empty bowl. "Iâll go get ready for lunch then," she said, already heading to the sink. "Iâm starving."
You watched her go, then turned back to Logan, raising an eyebrow. "Think weâve got time for that before the power comes back on?"
Logan shrugged, his smirk returning. "Could be out a while longer."
"Convenient," you muttered, though there was no real bite to it.
Logan chuckled, a low, rough sound that made something in your chest tighten. He set his empty mug on the coffee table and stood up, stretching slightly. "Guess we better make sure the kid doesnât eat the place out of food while we wait."
You laughed, following him into the kitchen. The dynamic between the three of you felt easy now, comfortable in a way that surprised you. Even with Lauraâs not-so-subtle attempts at matchmaking, there was something natural about how you and Logan were around each other. It wasnât rushed or forced. Just... right.
Laura appeared from the hallway, already dressed and tugging on her jacket. "Ready when you are," she said, a little too cheerfully.
Logan gave her a look. "We havenât even decided where weâre going."
"Iâll leave that up to the grown-ups," she said, grabbing her shoes.
You exchanged a glance with Logan, both of you clearly thinking the same thing: this kid was way too clever for her own good. But neither of you called her out on it.
"Alright," Logan finally said, grabbing his jacket. "Letâs get going before the power comes back and ruins her plan."
Laura grinned but didnât say anything, grabbing your hand as you all headed out into the damp, cool air. The rain had finally stopped, but the sky was still overcast, a soft, gray light filtering through the clouds.
You walked beside Logan, Laura skipping a few steps ahead, her eyes darting around like she was taking everything in. She was always like thatâwatching, observing. And now you knew why. She was playing a long game, slowly pushing you and Logan closer together, little by little.
You couldnât help but smile. She was good. Really good.
And maybe, just maybe, you were starting to appreciate her efforts.
---
The school did something special for parents on Valentineâs Day. Instead of just handing out donuts or cupcakes, they did a competition.
There was different challenges for each couple, or pairing, to finish, and to make it even better, their kids would have to guide them on certain challenges, like walking blindfolded to the finish line on the field.
Emma glanced over at you as you were going through the list of parentâs names, making sure everyone had a partner. There were a few single parents, so you had to figure out who they should be paired with. But there was an odd number, one parent would have to sit out.
âSo⌠whoâs sitting out?â Emma asked, leaning on the desk next to you. She had that casual curiosity in her tone, but you knew she was just as invested in making sure things ran smoothly as you were.
You chewed your lip, staring at the list. âLooks like weâve got one extra parent. Iâm not sure yet.â
Emma peeked over your shoulder, scanning the names. âWhat about Logan?â
You paused, looking at the list. Loganâs name was there, as was Lauraâs, but you hesitated. He wasnât exactly the type to jump into school events, especially one that involved blindfolds and teamwork. And while heâd been involved in Lauraâs life, you werenât sure heâd want to participate in something like this.
âYeah, guess he can sit out. We have an odd number of parents anyways.â You put down the clipboard and looked at the empty donut box, âIâll be right back. Gonna go to the other room and get another box.â
As you moved toward the door, you noticed Laura sitting quietly in the corner, fiddling with her notebook, watching everything with that usual sharpness in her eyes. She had been quiet all morning, almost too quiet. You gave her a smile before heading to the break room, still feeling a little awkward about pairing up the parents.
Emma stayed behind, her eyes flicking between you and Laura, a slight smirk tugging at her lips like she was onto something.
You weaved through the hallway, your mind still on the whole situation. These parent events were always a little tricky when it came to single parents. You knew Logan wasnât exactly the type to jump into the school scene, especially for something like a Valentineâs Day competition, but you couldnât help but think maybe heâd want to give it a shot for Laura.
Grabbing the donut box, you paused for a second. The idea of Logan being there today, paired up with someone else, didnât sit right. Not that you had any reason to feel that way. It was just... Logan. You werenât even sure if heâd show up.
When you returned to the room, Laura was still sitting there, now scribbling something in her notebook. She glanced up as you entered, her expression neutral but her eyes watching you closely.
âEverything okay?â you asked, setting the fresh box on the table and moving to grab the clipboard again.
Laura nodded. âYeah, just thinking.â
âThinking about the competition?â You smiled, trying to make conversation, but she just gave you a vague shrug.
âSomething like that.â
Emma glanced at you, her smirk still there as she made a little noise of amusement. âLogan didnât strike me as the âcompetitionâ type. But who knows?â
You shot her a look, but before you could respond, the door swung open, and Logan walked in. Speak of the devil. He looked around, taking in the sight of parents getting ready, kids buzzing with excitement. His eyes landed on you, and he gave a short nod, his usual gruff greeting.
âYouâre here,â you said, surprised, trying to keep your voice casual. âDidnât think youâd make it.â
Logan raised an eyebrow, his hands in his pockets. âLaura signed us up. Thought Iâd better show.â
Laura, sitting nearby, perked up but kept her face mostly neutral. She wasnât about to blow her cover, not yet anyway.
âRight,â you said, glancing down at the clipboard. âWell, thereâs an odd number of parents, so... I was thinking maybe youâd sit out.â
Laura, quick as ever, jumped in. âOr you could partner with someone else.â
You blinked at her, caught off guard. âWell, yeah, I guess, but we donât really haveââ
âYou could partner with Daddy.â Laura said it so simply, like it wasnât a big deal, like she hadnât been plotting this for weeks.
Loganâs eyes narrowed slightly as he glanced between the two of you, clearly realizing what his daughter was doing, but he didnât say anything. He just stood there, waiting for your reaction.
You stammered a bit, caught completely off guard. âIâI donât know if thatâs a good idea...â
Laura gave you a look, one that said she knew exactly what she was doing. âItâs just for the competition. Besides, itâll be fun.â
Loganâs gaze flicked to you again, and this time, there was a slight smirk on his face. âItâs just a game, right? Weâll survive.â
Emma, watching the whole thing play out, was trying very hard not to laugh. âLooks like youâre stuck with Logan, Y/N.â
You felt a wave of heat rise in your cheeks. It was one thing to think about spending time with Logan, but being thrown into a school competition with himâespecially with Laura being the mastermind behind itâwas another.
âOkay, fine,â you muttered, trying to act like this wasnât a big deal at all. âI guess weâll partner up.â
Logan just gave a nonchalant shrug. âLetâs get this over with.â
Lauraâs eyes practically sparkled with victory as she hopped up from her seat, already heading toward the field where the first challenge would take place. You followed, trying to shake off the awkwardness, but it was impossible with Logan right next to you.
As you reached the field, the first task was announced: a three-legged race. Of course. Out of all the challenges, it had to be this one. You glanced over at Logan, who was already eyeing the ropes being handed out for the pairs to tie their legs together.
"This should be interesting," Logan muttered under his breath, taking one of the ropes and holding it out for you.
You raised an eyebrow, trying to hide your nerves behind a smile. "I feel like this is a recipe for disaster."
Loganâs lips quirked into a smirk. "Only if you donât keep up."
"Me?" You chuckled, shaking your head as you bent down to tie the rope around your ankle and his. "Youâre the one with the bum leg."
Logan grunted, not arguing, though his usual swagger was still intact. "Iâll manage."
Laura stood off to the side, watching with a faint smile, clearly enjoying the show. You could tell she was pleased with herself, and part of you was too, even if you were trying to act like this was no big deal.
"Alright, ready?" Logan asked, standing up straighter after securing the rope.
"As Iâll ever be," you replied, trying to gauge the best way to navigate the race without falling flat on your face.
The whistle blew, and before you knew it, you were awkwardly hopping forward, one leg bound to Loganâs as you tried to find some sort of rhythm. The first few steps were disastrousâLoganâs longer strides making it nearly impossible for you to keep pace without stumbling.
"Slow down!" you laughed, grabbing his arm to steady yourself as you nearly tripped.
Logan smirked, his hand quickly coming to your waist to keep you from toppling over. "You gotta move faster than that, Y/N."
"Or maybe you need to move slower!" you shot back, trying to adjust your steps to match his. After a few shaky moments, you finally found a rhythm, the two of you moving in syncâwell, mostly. Loganâs hand lingered at your waist, steadying you as you both half-hopped, half-laughed your way toward the finish line.
"Not bad," Logan grunted as you crossed the line, not quite first, but definitely not last either.
"Not bad?" You shot him a look, still a little breathless from laughing. "Iâm pretty sure we almost face-planted three times."
"Couldâve been worse," he replied with a shrug, that smirk of his still in place.
You rolled your eyes, but you couldnât deny the way your heart was still racingâthough you werenât sure if it was from the race or from the fact that Logan had kept his arm around your waist longer than necessary.
Laura, waiting at the sidelines, gave you both a knowing look as you untied the rope. "You guys were pretty good," she commented casually, though the glint in her eyes said otherwise.
"Pretty good?" you echoed, shooting her a playful glare. "We almost ate dirt, Laura."
Logan grunted in agreement but didnât say much, just shaking his head as he rubbed his leg a bit. You noticed the slight grimace that flashed across his faceâsomething you hadnât seen often, but it was there for just a moment before he covered it up.
"Next challenge is... egg balancing," Emma announced from the other end of the field, holding up a spoon and a carton of eggs.
You and Logan exchanged a look, and you couldnât help but laugh. "Oh, thisâll be fun."
Logan just sighed, clearly less than thrilled about the prospect of trying to balance an egg on a spoon, but he didnât protest. You handed him one of the spoons as you lined up for the next round.
"You got a steady hand?" you teased, raising an eyebrow at him.
Logan glanced at the spoon, then back at you. "Steadier than yours, probably."
"Letâs see about that," you shot back, placing the egg carefully on your spoon. The whistle blew, and you both started across the field, trying to keep the fragile eggs from toppling off. You had to admit, Logan had a surprising amount of focus for a guy who usually looked like heâd rather be anywhere else.
"Not bad for an old man," you joked, glancing over at him as you both carefully moved toward the finish line.
"Careful, Y/N. Thatâs how you get egg on your face," Logan muttered, but you could hear the amusement in his voice.
Just as you were nearing the end, Laura darted over, watching closely. "Come on, you guys can do it!"
It was hard to ignore the pride in her voiceâshe was definitely enjoying watching you two work together. And maybe, despite the ridiculousness of it all, you were too.
By the time you finished, both of your eggs still intact, you couldnât help but feel a strange sense of accomplishment. It was silly, sure, but being paired with Logan for these goofy challenges wasnât as awkward as you thought it might be. In fact, it was... kind of nice.
"Two for two," Logan said with a smirk, handing his spoon back as the event wrapped up.
"Donât get too cocky," you replied, bumping his arm lightly as you handed yours in too. "Weâll see how you do with the next one."
Laura appeared beside you again, her eyes bright. "You guys make a good team."
You gave her a sideways glance, trying not to read too much into her words. "Yeah, well, itâs all about teamwork, right?"
Logan didnât say anything, but his eyes met yours for a brief moment, and there was something thereâsomething unspoken that made your heart skip a beat.
The rest of the day went by in a blur of silly games and laughter, and by the time the event was over, you were exhausted, but in the best way possible. Logan had stayed the whole time, never complaining or trying to bow out early. Laura, of course, was thrilled with how things had turned out, and you couldnât help but feel like she had succeeded in whatever plan she had been cooking up.
As the parents and kids started to trickle out of the school, you found yourself standing beside Logan near the door. Laura had already run ahead to grab her things, leaving the two of you alone for a moment.
"Thanks for sticking around," you said, glancing up at him. "I know this probably wasnât your idea of a fun day."
Logan shrugged, his usual nonchalant expression in place. "Wasnât so bad."
You smiled, feeling a warmth spread through you at his words. "Well, Iâm glad you came. Laura seemed to really enjoy it."
"Yeah," Logan agreed, his gaze softening slightly as he looked in the direction where Laura had run off. "Sheâs a good kid."
"She is," you said, nodding. "And sheâs lucky to have you."
Logan didnât respond right away, but after a moment, he gave a small nod. "Thanks."
There was a brief silence between you, the air charged with something unspoken but palpable. Before you could say anything else, Laura came bounding back, her backpack slung over one shoulder.
"Ready to go?" she asked, looking between the two of you with that same knowing glint in her eyes.
"Yeah," Logan said, ruffling her hair lightly. "Letâs get outta here."
As they started to head for the door, Logan paused, glancing back at you. "See you around, Y/N."
"Yeah," you replied, feeling your heart skip again. "See you around, Logan."
---
It had been a few days since the Valentineâs Day event, and things had settled back into routine. You were sitting in your living room, halfway through grading papers, when there was a knock on your door.
Opening it, you found Logan standing there, hands shoved in his pockets, looking slightly out of place.
"Hey," he greeted, voice low. "Laura wanted me to ask if you'd join us for dinner tonight. Nothing fancy. Just... thought itâd be nice."
You blinked, surprised by the invitation. Logan wasnât exactly the type to invite people over casually, but something about the way he stood there, slightly awkward, made your heart skip a beat.
"Sure," you said, smiling. "Iâd like that."
Dinner at Loganâs place was unexpectedly warm. Laura set the table with care, and you found yourself laughing more than you expected as Logan recounted some old stories about his past. The tension that usually simmered between you felt different tonightâsofter, like you were slowly crossing an invisible line youâd both been careful to avoid.
As you helped clear the dishes, your hand brushed against Loganâs, and the brief contact made you pause. He glanced at you, and for a moment, neither of you moved. It was like a quiet acknowledgment of something building between you.
âThanks for coming,â he said, his voice low, his gaze lingering just a little too long.
âAnytime,â you replied softly, feeling the weight of his eyes on you as you turned to put the plates away. You tried to ignore the flutter in your chest, but it was hard with Logan standing so close. It was like every time you were around him, you felt like something unspoken hovered between youâsomething that Laura, in her quiet, clever way, seemed determined to help along.
Laura wandered back into the room, a book in her hands. âY/N, can you help me with my English homework?â she asked, holding it up and glancing between you and Logan like she hadnât just interrupted a moment.
You blinked, turning to her with a small smile. âOf course, I can take a look.â
âGreat!â Laura said, her voice a little too cheerful. She plopped down on the couch and spread her notebook and book out in front of her. âItâs this essay Iâve got to write.â
Logan lingered by the kitchen counter, his eyes flicking to Lauraâs book with an expression you couldnât quite read. âIâll leave you two to it, then,â he muttered, and before you could say anything, he was stepping outside, probably to get some fresh air or give you and Laura some space.
You turned your attention back to Laura, still smiling but a bit confused. âAlright, letâs see what youâve got here.â
Laura launched into an explanation, talking about a character analysis she needed to do for class. As you glanced over her notes, though, it struck you that everything was pretty much perfect. Her sentences were clear, her argument made sense, and sheâd clearly put a lot of thought into it. Like always, it was perfect.
âLaura⌠this is really good,â you said slowly, giving her an impressed look. âI donât think you need help with this.â
Lauraâs face stayed impassive, but you caught a faint hint of a smile tugging at her lips. âJust wanted to make sure it was okay,â she said casually, glancing in the direction Logan had gone.
Something clicked then, and you had to suppress a chuckle. So this was just another one of Lauraâs little schemes to get you to stick around. You were starting to see the patternâtiny excuses to keep you close, to get you and Logan in the same room more often. It was subtle, but now that you were catching on, it was impossible to miss.
âWell, your essayâs great,â you said, folding your arms as you gave her a knowing look. âBut I think thereâs more going on here than just English homework.â
Lauraâs gaze stayed steady on yours, and for a moment, you could see a glimpse of something deeper in those eyesâsomething far beyond her years. âHeâs lonely,â she said quietly, so softly that you almost missed it.
Your heart gave a small squeeze at that. It was true that Logan always seemed like a man on the outskirts of everything, never quite fitting in. And you knew he and Laura had been through a lot together, more than most people could imagine. But he wasnât exactly the type to talk about his feelingsâor admit he might need someone else in his life.
âMaybe,â you replied gently, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. âBut thatâs something he has to figure out on his own, okay?â
Laura nodded slowly, but she didnât look entirely convinced. âHe likes you,â she said, blunt as ever. âAnd you like him.â
Your cheeks heated, and you glanced away, trying to keep your voice steady. It wasnât the first time Laura has said something like this. âItâs not that simple, Laura.â
âWhy not?â she asked, her brow furrowing like she genuinely didnât understand.
You struggled to find the right words. How could you explain that things with Logan were complicatedâthat you werenât sure where you stood with him, or if there was even a place for you in his life beyond being Lauraâs teacher? And yet, every time you were near him, there was this pull, this quiet magnetism that made you wonder.
âI just⌠donât want to mess things up,â you admitted finally, feeling a little silly for having this conversation with an eleven-year-old.
Lauraâs gaze softened, and she reached out to squeeze your hand. âYou wonât.â
Before you could respond, the door swung open, and Logan stepped back inside, his gaze immediately going to the two of you. âEverything okay?â he asked, his tone gruff but laced with something you couldnât quite pinpoint.
âYeah, weâre good,â you said quickly, trying to push down the strange mix of emotions Lauraâs words had stirred up. You stood up, smoothing down your shirt as you gave him a smile. âI should probably get going, though. Itâs getting late.â
Logan nodded, but there was a flicker of something in his eyesâsomething that almost looked like disappointment. âIâll walk you out.â
He led you to the door, and you hesitated for a moment, glancing back at Laura. She gave you a small, encouraging smile, and you couldnât help but smile back.
âThanks again for coming,â Logan said as he opened the door, his voice a little softer than usual.
âAnytime,â you replied, echoing your earlier words as you stepped outside. The cool night air hit you, and you wrapped your arms around yourself, feeling the weight of Loganâs gaze on you.
There was a long pause, the kind that felt like something should be said, but neither of you knew what. You shifted on your feet, biting your lip as you glanced up at him.
âLogan, Iââ
âY/N, Iââ
You both spoke at the same time, then paused, sharing a startled laugh.
âYou first,â Logan muttered, his lips twitching into a faint smile.
You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words. âI just⌠I wanted to say that I really enjoyed tonight. And I know Lauraâs been⌠well, playing matchmaker or something,â you added with a chuckle, âbut I just want you to know that Iâm notââ
âUsing her as an excuse to get close?â Logan finished for you, his voice dry but not unkind.
You nodded, feeling a little self-conscious. âYeah.â
Logan stood there, his eyes steady on yours, and for a moment, you both let the silence fill the space between you. He shifted his weight, his usual stoic expression softening just a bit, and for the first time, it felt like he was truly considering what to say next.
"Look, I know Laura's been trying to push things," he said, his voice low and gruff, but gentler than usual. "She's... smart, too smart sometimes. But thisâtonightâit wasnât just about her."
You blinked, surprised by his admission. You werenât used to Logan being so open, especially about anything personal. He seemed to read the surprise in your face and let out a quiet sigh, rubbing the back of his neck like this was harder for him than any physical fight heâd been in.
"What I mean is," he continued, glancing at the ground before his eyes flicked back up to yours, "itâs not just her, Y/N. I didnât mind tonight. And thatâs not something I say often."
Your breath hitched a little at his words, heart beating a little faster. There was a vulnerability in Logan that you werenât expectingâa side of him that he clearly didnât let out much, if at all.
"I didnât mind it either," you said softly, trying to match his tone, to let him know you werenât taking this lightly. "And Laura... well, sheâs got a way of seeing things."
Logan let out a quiet chuckle, a rare sound that caught you off guard. "Yeah, she does. Sometimes I think sheâs too smart for her own good." His eyes softened as he spoke about her, a fondness there that made you smile.
"She just wants you to be happy," you said gently. "And, I guess, maybe me too."
Logan looked at you for a long moment, something unspoken passing between you, and for the first time, you wondered if maybeâjust maybeâthere was something more here than just a shared concern for Laura. You had always admired Loganâs strength, his quiet loyalty, the way he looked after Laura with such fierce protectiveness. But standing there now, with the night air cool against your skin and Loganâs presence so close, it felt different. More personal.
"You know," Logan said after a long pause, his voice low again, "I donât exactly have a lot of people in my life. Never been good at that sort of thing. But... youâre good with Laura. And youâreâ" He stopped, his jaw tightening for a second like he wasnât sure if he should say the next part. "Youâre good for us."
Your heart thudded in your chest, and for a moment, you werenât sure how to respond. His words hung in the air, heavy with meaning, and you could feel the weight of what he wasnât sayingâthe layers beneath that simple statement. Youâre good for us. It wasnât just about being Lauraâs teacher anymore. It was about something more.
Your heart thudded in your chest, but you forced a smile to keep things light. âGood for you?â you repeated with a slight chuckle. There was an ache there, something that hinted at how much more those words meant coming from Loganâsomeone who didnât let people in easily. The way he looked at you, steady and deliberate, made it hard to brush aside. His eyes held yours a little longer than usual, almost daring you to look away.
"Yeah," he replied, his voice a low rumble, and you couldnât help but notice how the weight of the night seemed to gather between you, thick in the air. Loganâs usual guarded stance had softened, just enough for you to sense it. He stepped a bit closer, enough that you could feel the faint warmth of him, the earthy scent of cigars and the wild outdoors clinging to his skin.
You shifted on your feet, trying to figure out where this was heading, but the flutter in your chest only grew stronger. Something unspoken seemed to pass between you two, like a current beneath the surface, waiting for one of you to reach down and touch it.
âI think Lauraâs got something figured out,â you admitted, voice soft as you kept your eyes on him. âSheâs smart enough to see whatâs happening here.â
Loganâs lips quirked into a small, barely-there smile. âYeah, too smart sometimes.â His gaze fell to the ground for a moment, and when he looked back up at you, there was something different thereâsomething raw. âBut sheâs right. Youâre good for us. Hell, youâre good for me.â His words carried a weight, a kind of honesty that took you by surprise, even though deep down, youâd been hoping to hear them for a while.
You swallowed, trying to keep your composure, but your pulse quickened. âLogan, IâŚâ You started to say somethingâanythingâto break the tension, but the words stuck in your throat. He was so close now, you could feel the heat radiating off him, and there was a wildness in his eyes that drew you in.
And then, as if some invisible line snapped, Logan took another step toward you, his rough hand reaching out to cup your cheek. His thumb grazed your skin, the touch light but electrifying. âI donât say things like this often,â he muttered, his voice husky, the growl in it more pronounced now, âbut I want you to stay close. For Laura, yeah, but... for me too.â
Your breath hitched as his words sank in, your body reacting to the closeness of him, the way his hand lingered on your cheek. It wasnât just the softness in his eyes or the tenderness of his touch, but the way he was looking at you, like he was seeing more than just the surface.
âIâve wanted to stay close,â you admitted, your voice barely a whisper, as your hand gently touched his chest. His heartbeat was strong, steady, and you couldnât help but feel drawn in, like the pull between you was more than just chemistry.
Loganâs gaze dropped to your lips, and for a moment, everything else faded awayâthe cool night air, the sound of distant traffic, even the faint light from inside the house. All that mattered was the closeness, the way you could feel his breath mingling with yours.
Before you knew it, Logan was leaning in, and you closed the gap without thinking. His lips pressed against yours, rough and warm, and everything else just melted away. The kiss was slow at first, almost tentative, but then it deepened, and the heat between you flared like wildfire.
His other hand found your waist, pulling you closer against him, and you could feel the solid strength of his body as you pressed into him. The kiss was everything you hadnât let yourself think about for so longâfilled with a hunger that had been simmering beneath the surface, waiting to spill over.
Logan kissed like he livedâintensely, without holding back. His grip on your waist tightened as if he was afraid to let go, and you responded in kind, threading your fingers into the rough texture of his hair. There was no hesitation, no second-guessing; just the two of you, connected in this raw, unexpected moment.
When you finally pulled back, breathless, you both stood there for a moment, neither of you saying anything. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and Loganâs forehead rested against yours, his breath still ragged.
âIââ you started to speak, but he cut you off, his voice low and hoarse.
âDonât,â he muttered, shaking his head slightly. âDonât ruin it with words, not yet.â
You nodded, biting back whatever thought was trying to escape. The night air felt cooler now, the warmth of Loganâs body contrasting sharply against it, grounding you in the moment. His hand lingered on your waist, thumb brushing your side, and you could feel the slight tremor in his fingers, like even he was surprised by what just happened.
After a long silence, he finally spoke, voice quieter than before. âDidnât think thisâd happen,â he admitted, almost to himself.
You gave a soft laugh, still trying to catch your breath. âMe either.â
His lips quirked into the faintest of smiles, and he shifted slightly, his hand moving from your waist to gently brush your cheek. The gesture was so uncharacteristically tender for him that it made your heart twist a little.
For a moment, you both just stood there, the weight of everything unspoken hanging between you. Part of you wanted to step back, to put some distance between you and Logan, to give yourself a chance to think. But another partâthe stronger partâwanted to stay right where you were, feeling the warmth of his hand on your skin, the rough edge of his thumb grazing your cheek.
Meanwhile, Laura peeked through the blinds, a smile spreading across her face.
tags: @freythecrazyfae
#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett x you#wolverine x reader#wolverine x you#james howlett x reader#james howlett x you#logan howlett fanfiction#logan howlett x fem!reader#logan howlett fic#logan howlett#old man logan
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TWST PARENTS! Trappola, Hunt and Ashengrotto!!
â ď¸â ď¸First of all, I must warn you that these designs may change in the future, either because the game presented us with the official designs, or just because I really wanted to change... Or I could reuse these designs for these characters!â ď¸â ď¸ Given that warning...
Guys, gals, and non-binary pals. I present to you, the Trappola, Hunt, and Ashengrotto families!
The Trappolas it's a very common family, compared to others. Of course, Ace Trappola and his brother get into a lot of trouble and face their mother's anger very often... But hey! It's good that they have their father to calm things down when things escalate, right? It may not seem like it, but Mrs. Trappola in her youth was just like Ace, always getting into trouble and facing authorities without thinking twice⌠Which led to many fights with Ace's grandmother. Mr. Trappola, on the other hand, rarely started fights, at least physical ones. Since he has a sharp tongue, always with some offense or something to irritate the other person. Both Ace and his brother inherited these traits from their parents⌠Although the older one is a little more responsible and is sometimes the one who talks sense into Ace's head. Ace and his brother have always been close, even though they fight or torment each other, they both have great respect for each other, even now that they don't see each other as muchâŚ
The Hunt family is a mystery to many.
The members of this family are⌠Lively, for lack of a better description, and Rook is the best known among them, and yet he is a guy who hides many secrets.
Although they are unknown, they are apparently a family with a certain wealth, many stories surround their members about how the Hunts managed to get so much money and influence in Twisted Wonderland...
But of course none that came close to the truth.I still wonder what kind of people they are.
Mama, Papa and Grandma Ashengrotto! A very loving family that loves young Azul more than he can imagine. Miss Ashengrotto goes to great lengths to demonstrate her love for her son, even though she is a busy woman, always does everything possible and impossible to be present in her son's life. She is a great friend of the Leech family, and always gets in touch to talk or update each other on how the children are doing. Mr. Ashengrotto, Azul's stepfather, is a kind man who has great respect for his wife. At the beginning of his relationship with his current wife, he was afraid that it would end up affecting the relationship between mother and son⌠The last thing he wanted was to make the young man hate him, but time passed and Azul and him ended up getting very close ( and catching his stepfather off guard when he called him "papa"⌠who ended up crying with happiness). Unfortunately, he carries the guilt of not having noticed the bullying that Azul went through in his childhood, and whenever he can (or when Azul allows him) he helps him with whatever he can⌠Always trying to talk and advise the youngest. Grandmother Ashengrotto, like her daughter, is a kind but strict woman. Always wanting the best for her grandson and being one of his biggest supporters in any projects her grandson starts. Always demands that he visits her more often... And preferably with friends! She wants to make sure her precious grandson is being well taken care of!!
AND MORE FAMILIES DONE!! And I'm still going to draw pictures of other members of the TWST families, so please bear with me a little⌠I'm going as fast as I can!đŤ
I'm not 100% satisfied with their designs... They have a big chance of being changed, but I hope you like them! đ
#twst#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland fanart#twst fanart#twst parents#ace trappola#ace twst#ace twisted wonderland#ashengrotto family i looooove u!!!!#azul twst#azul ashengrotto#azul twisted wonderland#ROOK HUNT WHY YOU MAKE MY LIFE SO DIFFICULT#i swear his family give me SO MUCH trouble#rook hunt#twst rook#rook hunt twisted wonderland#ROOK HUNT I WILL GET YOU#!kah art
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A Trip
Le Sserafim Yunjin x Male Reader
8k Words
Content Warning: smut, very fluffy, a little bit of angst cause reader has daddy issues (why not), lots of plot
Minors DNI
A/N: Hello fearnots!! I took a small step out of my comfort zone to (happily) fulfill a request from one of my followers. I hope they enjoy it and I hope you all do too!
Also most of the information I got about Yunjin is from google so feel free to message me if it's wrong. I will change it.
(So sorry if there are typos, i proofread this at midnight lmao.)
-
Nothing could lighten your mood like Yunjin, she's perfect for you
-
You wake up hearing the loud hum of the airplane fill your ears, it was a sound you were all too familiar with by now, a sound that often times meant work. You keep your eyes shut, shuffling in your seat to turn your head away from the vibrant daylight that shone through the window, breaching your eyelids. Then you hear whats probably the pilots rough voice on the intercom, muttering something about preparing for landing. That's when your eyes finally open and almost immediately they meet a pair of eyes so beautiful you can't help but smile.
It's your girlfriend Yunjin. You've been together for eight months and some change now but due to your conflicting schedules, you haven't been able to spend much quality time together recently. So the second you two found an open window you took it and decided to do something with the short week you had off. You're heading to Boston so she can meet your family for the first time, then the plan is to go on a mini roadtrip to Albany so you can meet her parents too then after that get a hotel and relax, maybe even head to the city.
The chances of your schedules being free at the same times are really slim so you want to make the most of your time together.Â
Yunjin smiles softly when you wake up and you begin to start wondering how long she's been watching you. "How did you sleep?" You stifle a yawn, stretching your arms and legs a bit as the plane begins to descend, feeling a slight discomfort in your ears.
"I didn't"
You quickly go from being tiredly relaxed to being slightly concerned "Jen, it's been thirteen hours. What do you mean you didn't sleep?" There's another yawn that tries to come out while you're talking, you manage to suppress it but it still makes you teary eyed as your body was still trying to get over the effects of waking up.
"I couldn't, I don't know I've just been thinking a lot" She chews her bottom lip nervously before speaking again "I'm about to meet your parents, you know? It's a little nerve wracking"
Theres a gentle smile that grows on your face when you realize why she hasn't slept, you think it's cute. "You have nothing to be nervous about, they will love you. We're gonna go over there and we're gonna spend the day with them and it's gonna be great" You try to reassure her, a small chuckle escaping your lips.
Yunjin pokes out her bottom lip and tilts her head to rest on your shoulder for a bit "You sure?"Â
"Yeah baby" You nod before leaning over to plant a kiss on her forehead, catching a whiff of her hair.Â
The plane lands and you two do your best to get through customs and everything without any troubles and you can't help but notice how easy it is. No fans, no paparazzi, no bodyguards, no extensive amounts of suitcases, just you and Yunjin. The feeling was sort of bittersweet to you, on one hand it was nice not having to push through crowds of people but on the other, you kind of missed the support, the "I love you's," the look of genuine support on the faces of your fans. "What are you in your head about now?" Yunjin taps your arm as you roll two big suitcases through the airport. You glance at her and hum, not yet processing the question "You were making that face again"
"What face?"
"That face you make when you're thinking about something too hard" She responds cleverly causing you to roll your eyes slightly.
She gives you a moment, allowing you to be silent as you try to figure out how to convey what you want to. "Don't you miss it?" You ask a bit vaguely, assuming that she'd get what you were talking about. When you only get a confused look from her you begin to expand on it "The attention, the fans.. you know.â You almost cringe at yourself, feeling like a little bit of an attention whore.
Which⌠you kind of were, otherwise you wouldnât have be an idol
"Oh" Yunjin pauses, then gets visibly confused "A little bit, I mean it's really wholesome the nice things they say and the little interactions... but isn't this more peaceful?"
"Yeah, I don't know it's just weird being in an airport for something other than work" You say as you walk through the double doors, inhaling the all but fresh scent of Boston air. The smell of home. You pull out your phone and shoot your father a message asking where he was parked and you get one back almost immediately "They're a little farther down" You nod in the direction where they were parked towards, a disorder of cars and angry drivers honking.
Yunjin's starting to get nervous again and you catch it immediately so you take her hand in yours "Hey, just breathe" You tell her before bringing it up to leave a kiss on her knuckle for comfort. She nods and you both begin to walk around the outside of the airport, wondering how and why there were so many people there at eight in the morning.
You eventually spot your parentsâ silver SUV and you point it out to Yunjin. She makes eye contact with your parents who are standing there waiting for you and she feels her nerves coming up again, but she manages to tell herself everything will be okay thanks to you. You roll the suitcases near the car "Hey mom, hey dad" You greet them with hugs so tight and loving that you think you might pop all while Yunjin stands there awkwardly. You step back next to her "This is my girlfriend, Yunjin"
"We know her name by now, she's all you talk about" Your mother says, brushing past you. Yunjin puts her hand out thinking that your mom was going for a handshake but instead she pulls her in for a hug. You winced a bit, feeling like you should've maybe warned her about how much your mom likes to give hugs. "It's great to finally meet you, you can call me mom" She says, holding onto her arms when she pulls away. Your mom looks Yunjin up and down, a look of pure adoration in her eyes "She's so pretty and she's so tall I might have to steal her from you" Your mom turns to you before backing up and you both just awkwardly laugh at the older woman's humor.
"Nice to meet you" Your father reaches his hand out to shake hers, firm and proper then he looks at you "Your sisters are home, they didn't want to come for the ride" He shrugs as he grabs one of your suitcases to load in the car. Your mom and Yunjin get inside and as you expected, your mom is talking her ears off, you snicker, hoping it's not too overbearing. "So whats the plan?" Your father asks as you help him with the bags.
You take your eyes off of the girls. "What plan?"
"With her, you really like her? are your fans going to be okay with it?" He purposefully lowers his voice so they canât hear.
Your father was the reason you got into the industry in the first place. When you were fifteen he packed your bags and sent you down to SM entertainment--on the other side of the world--to train in hopes that you'd make your big break. Why at a company like that? You had no clue. But one thing you were sure of was that your relationship with him has never been the same since then. It's also quite relevant to add that he was a trainee when he was younger but he never made the cut, deciding to instead to move to the states for college and lead a normal life.
So he knew enough to know what could happen if you went public with your relationship.Â
You give him a look and you're kind of annoyed that he's bringing it up now. He thinks your career is the most important thing and in his eyes, relationships were merely just scandals waiting to happen. He didn't see the point in them, so when he found out that you were dating Yunjin, he obviously didn't approve. But you never cared about what he thought because she's the love of your life. "I don't just like her dad. I love her and the fans will just have to deal with it if we decide to go public"
"But you won't" He says it in that matter-of-fact tone. The one that you hate and he knows you do. Maybe it's immature, but you held a lot of contempt for him deep inside of you because of the way he's run your entire life. Now he's trying to do the same right now and you won't let him because you're older. You're your own man.
There's something about him that just makes you want to rebel and do something crazy out of nothing but pure spite. Something drastic like posting a picture of you and Yunjin kissing just to show him that he doesn't run your life.
You couldn't do that though, mainly for company reasons. "Remember to be careful Y/n, your career is everything, your brand is everything. You haven't even been able to go solo from your group yet and if you want to-"
"I don't wanna talk to you about this" You slam the trunk closed a little harder than you should've, most likely startling Yunjin and your mom then you walk around to get into the backseat.
Yunjin tilts her head, laughing a bit "Why'd you close the trunk so hard" You shrug, trying to make it seem like everything was okay but it wasn't. Not when your dad's being an asshole again. You we're hoping he'd show a little respect for the occasion but then again, he's him. You shouldn't have expected anything. "You okay?" She gets a bit more concerned noticing the change in your demeanor and that's when your dad gets into the car and starts the engine.
"Yeah no everything's fine"
Yunjin knows you too well. She recognizes that tone and she can tell somethings bothering you but she doesn't say anything, knowing that you don't want to talk about it. "Okay" She subtly takes your hand into hers as the car begins to move, silently telling you that she's there for you. She'll always be. "Well, your mom was just telling me about how gross you were as a kid..." She says, triggering a long lost memory in the back of your mind and you're almost betrayed that your mother would tell her about it.Â
"Mommm! Come on!" You complain and the car bubbles with laughter, some coming from you as well even if you were embarrassed.
-
The car ride ended up being full of conversation and good energy. It lightened your mood to see how quickly Yunjin and your mom got along with each other. You expected for the short exchange you had with your dad to kill your mood, maybe even have you bothered for the entire day. He has that effect on you. But for once he doesn't and maybe its cause Yunjin had your hand in hers, moving her thumb to rub your knuckles for extra comfort.
Nothing could lighten your mood like Yunjin, she's perfect for you
When you arrive, your dad pulls into the garage where you look over and see your car. The car you plan on driving all the way down to Albany to see Yunjin's parents. You get out and walk into the house where both your sisters are sitting on the couch, Sarah and April. They look up at you, their eyes lighting up the brightest you've ever seen them.
"Oh my god, I can't believe my lame ass brother is actually dating a member of Le Sserafim" Sarah, the older among the two teases like she always did. It's good to know she still has that fire in her.
"I havent even been here for a minute and you're already bullying me" You fake complain, silently enjoying the playful relationship you shared with her. Yunjin purses her lips to stifle a laugh as you walk over to put Sarah in a fake headlock and hold her there right up until she's saying sorry. It was your big brother, little sister dynamic and you were glad that after all this time she was still willing to play along with it no matter if she was getting older or not.
The youngest, April kind of looks a bit shy and you know exactly why. "Oh... I forgot to say, April really likes Le Sserafim" You mention to Yunjin who continues to smile even bigger after taking in the flattering information. She walks over to the couch and takes a seat next to her.Â
You just watch as she tries her best to get your sisters comfortable with her, cracking jokes to make them laugh. She was more natural at meeting people than she'd ever give herself credit for. You turn to your mom "I need the keys for my car" You mention as you walk with her up the stairs, leaving the others downstairs.
"How long are you staying?"
"Maybe three hours, then we have to head down to Albany. It's a long drive so I don't want to leave too late" You explain she gives you a look, an inquisitive hum leaving her throat as she moves to open the bedroom door.
"I thought you were going to stay here for the night, change of plans?" You nod and you just shrug but then she gives you a look, one that says to cut the bullshit and tell her what you're feeling.
"Dad's being.. dad again. I don't want to spend too much time under the same roof as him" You mutter, leaning against the king sized bed as you watch her fish through a drawer for your keys.Â
She pauses for a minute, a small sigh escaping her lips and you already know whats coming. A water-downed attempt to defend the indefensible "He just wants the best for you, you know" She closes the drawer after finding the keys and puts them in your hands, acknowledging your unconvincing glare.Â
"Yeah, right. Did he also want the best for me when he sent me to train at a company that doesn't give a fuck about me?" You ask, not meaning for there to be so much hostility in your tone. Hell, you didn't even mean to curse at her. It just got on your nerves that she'd ever begin to defend him, especially with the whole 'he's doing it in good faith' argument because if he was, he would've let it be your choice to begin with. Not just the choice of company, but the decision to go to Korea in the first place.
She flinches at your language and you apologize shortly after. You move to leave the room, ready to head off downstairs to see what Yunjin and your sisters were doing when your mother holds your arm. "Before you go and leave forever, talk to me, tell me about how everything's been going in Korea. I haven't seen my son in months and he's already leaving after spending what? two seconds here?"Â
"Sorry" You apologize and its genuine, like actually.Â
-
You ended up staying and talking about basically everything that's happened in this past year with your mom, who was always a really good listener. She gave great advice about how to solve some of your problems when you go back. It was a good maybe half hour long heartfelt conversation. One that you had with her often over the phone but it's even better in person.
"I should probably get back, Yunjin's probably wondering where I am" You stand up and stretch your arms a bit. Then you leave the room. When you get down stairs, you see Sarah and April and they're watching something in the living room. Theres a moment where you look around in confusion before asking "Where's Yunjin?"
"In the garage with dad" April shrugs, not even bothering to look away from the TV.Â
Your heart sinks.
"Fuck" You mutter as you walk over to the garage, already knowing what he was trying to do. You walk through the garage door and they're talking. His demeanor was almost intimidating and hers was small and it only made you angrier. You step between them and shove him backwards. "The hell are you doing?" You're level with him this time, almost mirroring his muscular build and his height. It was almost scary how alike you were.
"I was just trying to tell her-"
"I don't care, I don't want you to tell her anything" It's kind of contradicting, but you can barely think straight right now.
"Y/n, no its fine he was just" Yunjin tries to argue, touching your arm with her soft hand. You turn to look at her for a moment, your eyes softening when they meet hers.
All of your anger almost goes away, thats what she does to you.
"What did he say to you, Jen?"
Yunjin's eyes darting to hers and then back to yours before she can even speak he cuts in "I was just letting her know that she's going to ruin your career" You turn to him struggling to even begin to comprehend what the fuck he just said. By the cold stare you give him he can tell you're angry but he doesn't care. "Don't be like that, you know it's true! and when you two break up, there's going to be rumors and-"
You look over to Yunjin "We're leaving" Is all you say as you walk behind your parents' car, popping the trunk to take your suitcases and transfer them to your car. If you had no self control, you would have probably punched your dad in the face and maybe even have a full on altercation with him right there in the garage.
But Yunjin didn't need to see that and your mother probably wouldn't be able to handle that.
Soon everything's packed and you're inside of your car, reaching to put your seatbelt on. "Tell mom I said goodbye" You tell your dad and you can't even look him in the eyes when you do. You just watch as the garage doors slide open to make way for your car. Yunjin gets in too and she sets up the navigation on your phone. "How longs the drive?"Â
"Two and a half hours" She answers as she puts her seatbelt on. You put the keys in the ignition and you pull off, just glad that you're away from him and the dark emotions he's dredged up.
The car ride starts off silent, you're thinking about a lot. About how Yunjin must've felt hearing that from your father, about how telling it was that he thought he had any right to say something like that to her and especially about how much you damn near hated the man.Â
"So" Yunjin breaks the silence.
"So" You repeat her words.
"When were you gonna tell me that you have daddy issues?"Â
Your face scrunches up in confusion "I don't have daddy issues" You repeat the term, seeing it as something that could only apply to women. Until you actually start thinking about it, how your relationship with him isn't good, how you get upset when he's around and especially how small he makes you want to act out like a teenager. "Holy shit, I have daddy issues" You realize, causing Yunjin to almost burst out laughing.
The mood was lightening up and you were happy about that, not wanting the altercation with your dad to sour the entire trip. "I had a feeling, you talk about your mom and your sisters a lot but not him." She mentions and you kind of nod, not even realizing how obvious it was.Â
"Seriously though, what he said, did it bother you?"
Yunjin shakes her head "Not at all, I still really liked hanging out with your sisters and talking to your mother. They're great" She smiles and you do too, being able to tell that she was being fully genuine in her answer.
You knew each other like that.
-
The rest of the trip was quiet, mostly because Yunjin ended up falling asleep in the beginning half and for the entire ride. You expected her to sleep especially because she didn't get any on the plane.
Shamelessly, you found yourself glancing at her at the occasional red light just to watch her sleeping peacefully.
It made you happy to know that she was yours and only yours.
When you finally arrive in front of her home, you park out front and reach over to tap her awake. It took a few light pushes to wake her up. You watch as she smacks her lips together, wiping the sleep out of her eyes while she stretched her back. It was all the signs that you just woke her up from a really good nap. "What? are we here already?" She yawns and looks out of the window.Â
It's already beginning to get dark, the streetlights in the neighborhood were already on, shedding warm light on the empty sidewalk. Now you begin feeling the nerves about meeting her mom and dad. You hope it goes better than the visit to your parents house and you hope they like you. "You ready?"Â
You nod your head and the two of you get out and walk up to the door, ringing the doorbell only once. Then the door opens, revealing what you assume to be Yunjin's dad. She opens up her arms, hugging him tightly with a big comfy smile on her face "Hey Jen, you guys got here just in time. Your mom's just finished cooking" He pulls away from the hug then sizes you up a bit, you almost feel a chill run down your spine "I'm guessing this is Y/n?" He asks, putting his hand out to shake yours, nice and firm.
"That's me, it's good to meet you" You nod and move to enter the house. You look around the foyer, noticing a bunch of pictures on the wall of Yunjin and her family together. In some of them she looks so adorable, so happy as a little girl.
Then you walk into the dining room where Yunjin's mom is setting the table. She looks up and smiles upon seeing the two of you, placing a plate down before walking over to hug her daughter first. "Here's the famous boyfriend I assume" She jokes, opening her arms to hug you too.
"Wow, it's nice to finally meet you guys" You smile politely.
Then you take a seat at the table and Yunjin sits next to you and when everyones actually settled in, some conversation begins. "So Y/n" Her mom begins and you hum in response, making sure to make good eye contact "You work in the industry too, right?"
"Yeah, i'm in my fourth year" You nod.
"I'm, curious. How do you two manage to make time for each other?"Â
Wow, right out the gate with the heavy questions
You look over to Yunjin, who has already started eating and then your eyes find their way back to her mom's. Noticing that her dad was looking too, you cleared your throat as you tried to figure out a good way to answer the question "It's hard, with the way our schedules conflict a lot but we manage to find windows and do little acts of service for each other when we have free time. For example, when i'm not working and she is, I'll go out and buy her gifts or something and vice versa" You explain and you can feel Yunjin staring at you with that smile on her face.
Yunjin's parents look satisfied with your explanation and you almost feel proud of yourself for handling the question well.
-
The dinner goes way better than you expected, much better than the visit to your parents house which you're grateful for nonetheless. You stay after dinner, getting to know Yunjin's parents better as you played a few fun board games with some music playing in the background. Soon it started feeling like more of a hangout with friends rather than meeting your girlfriends parents.
So it was safe to say that they liked you.
When it started to get late, you and Yunjin said your goodbyes, exchanging friendly hugs with the each other before leaving. There's a nice hotel just thirty minutes away from her parents house, providing you with a place to stay the night before heading down to the city.Â
It took a bit of waiting but finally, you were able to book an acceptable room with a good view of Albany.
You put your bags down and without even taking off your clothes, you fall backwards onto the bed and you just lay there. "Well today was... one hell of a day" You mutter, the altercation with your father still in the back of your mind.Â
Yunjin sits on the edge of the bed and watches as you lay there. You notice that there's a look on her face. That one she makes when she wants to ask a question but isn't sure how or maybe she doesn't want to ruin the mood with the weight of the question. "Babe?" You ask, sitting up "You alright?"Â
"I... your dad... there was something else he said and I know it shouldn't have but it kind of got to me" She subtly begins to play with her fingers, like she's about to break some bad news. You already feel your blood boiling as you start to realize that his words may have bothered her way more than you thought.
Before she continues you stop her "Yunjin you're not going to ruin my career, seriously I value you more than anything in the-"
"No, it's not that" You quirk your eyebrow, deciding that you'll just shut up and listen. "He also said that this is all for nothing, that we'll fall out of love because we barely see each other." Yunjin looks worried, like for the first time she's having some doubts about your relationship. That's because it's the only thing that feels like it could be true. You two had to go almost extreme lengths to have dates, or hang out when you're free.Â
Sometimes it gets so busy that you go weeks without seeing each other and that's what worried Yunjin the most. It was the distance. You hold her hand with yours, an act of affection that you found yourself doing a lot when you needed to reassure her "Jen, I love you and... what we have isn't going to fizzle out, it's going to be there forever. My dads just trying to get into your head, I can't believe he said that" You mutter the last part, making a mental note to give him a call later and maybe curse him out.
"Really? Cause sometimes I feel like things at work can get stressful, so stressful to the point where even in our free time we need time to recharge alone. Then when is there going to be time for... just us?" She asks, and its a valid question and a valid feeling but all you do is hold her hand tighter, firmer.Â
"You can recharge in bed with me and my arms wrapped around your body"Â
This makes Yunjin laugh, cracking a smile at your comment even though you weren't joking at all. She nods "I know.. I'm sorry I let things get to my head. I've just been overthinking a lot and I didn't get much sleep" There's a small smile that threatens to show on your face and she immediately catches the curving of your lips "What?" She laughs a bit, pushing your shoulder lightly. She already knows what you're thinking.
"I know something that'll help you sleep better" You lean in, leaving a small peck on her lips.
Yunjin begins smiling "What is it?" She asks, her lips just centimeters away from yours. You lean forwards again to press your lips together and the kiss is longer this time, slower. You pull away just enough to disconnect your lips.
"Guess" Is all you say before you push her body back on the bed and you kiss her again but its a bit harder this time. It lasts for a minute too, a whole minute (and maybe even more than that because who's counting?) where you're just exploring each others' mouths. Her breathing becomes heavier and you shuffle a bit, careful not to break the kiss as you do.
You finally pull yourself off of her lips, just for a moment so you can get yourself out of the limiting confines of your clothes. Watching as you take your shirt off, Yunjin follows and pulls her top over her head. You move to unbutton and unzip her tight jeans. She's wearing the ones that you loved, the ones that cling to her thighs so perfectly. As you pull them off, Yunjin lifts her legs and straightens them to help you out.
"I've been wanting to do that all day"Â
"Really? While you were meeting my parents?" She giggles, pretending to be shocked, she knew that you were looking.Â
She caught on every time "Don't act like you didn't know" You reach for your belt and you sling it off, standing up from the bed for a moment just to drop your loose fitting jeans all the way. Then you get back into bed with her and you crawl in between her legs. Yunjin wraps them around you, bringing your body that much closer to hers.
You kiss her lips again, breathing slow and heavy breaths as you do, you couldn't get enough of her plump lips. Then you begin sliding your hand down between the crevice where your bodies met all the way down to her panties. You allow your hand to rest there, feeling the heat through the lacy fabric while you began to move your lips elsewhere. First the corner of her lips. then her cheek, then her jawline and eventually to her neck.
Yunjin moans softly, rolling her hips up into your hand as you begin to suck on her warm flesh. You lick the skin, then gently take it between your teeth and you suck hard enough to get a reaction but not to leave a mark of any kind. It's a lot to deal with. Your lips on her neck, your hand teasing her right where she needs you the most right now and the way your warm body felt on hers. No matter how torturous the teasing feels right now, she's loving the time and care you take with her body.
"Baby" She tries to whisper, but it comes out as more of a needy whine. Her hips haven't stopped moving yet either. "Please"
Thats when you finally slide your hand beneath the waistband of her panties and you palm her cunt. You take note of how wet she is as you begin to rub messy circles around her clit, providing enough pressure for now "You're soaked, baby" You announce, as if she wasn't already painfully aware.
"For.. you" She manages to say through her soft moans and then as quickly as you put them in, you slide them right out to use both of your hands to pull her panties off. Then you motion for her to lean up, and you reach around to unclip her bra, letting it slide off of her arms delicately. You struggle a bit to shimmy out of your boxers while you were still on the bed and once they're off, the two of you are completely bare in each others presence.
You put your body flush to hers again and you leave a kiss on her neck, sliding your hand back to where they belonged. "I'm going to put a finger in" You warn, and an enthusiastic hum from her follows. You slide your middle finger into the smooth and tight confines of her cunt. Yunjin moans, biting her lip as you curl the finger and begin pumping it in and out.
"Feels so.. good" She breathes and you decide to let your mouth explore other parts of her wonderful body. You kiss along the perfect curve of her collarbone, getting every inch wet with your saliva and your tongue. Yunjin didn't even have to say it in words, her body language spoke volumes. Especially the way she rides your fingers and whines your name.
You slide another finger inside and she moans louder, really beginning to feel the stretch as you work them both inside. You kiss all the way down to her left nipple which you take into your mouth almost immediately, her back arches a bit when you do and you grab her right breast with your hand. You begin to massage it, tweaking the nipple between your fingers while you sucked on the other one.
Then you switch, rubbing the saliva you left back into her breasts and along her body. It was like you were claiming her as yours or--for lack of better words--marking your territory. "Baby.. please" She gapes, her voice just above a whisper as she begs. You hum in response "Need you inside"
 So you slide your fingers out and take them between your lips "You taste so good, Jen" You mutter as you lean over her body, positioning yourself more properly between her legs. Theres a moment when you look into her eyes, your faces just a few inches apart. Then you take your cock into your hand and you begin stroking it, just lathering it up with the mix of her slick and your saliva.Â
The moment you prod her entrance, another "Please" escapes her lips but this time it sounds so breathless, so desperate, like she'll die if you're not inside of her by the next second. You waste no more time and you push your hips forward immediately feeling the way her warm walls wrapped around you. It was like a tight hug and you fit so perfectly inside of her, like you were made to be inside of her.
Yunjin winces, her eyebrows upturned as she shuts her eyes all in an attempt to cope with the indescribable pleasure of you being inside of her. You lean down and close the gap, putting you lips together as she moans long high pitched whines. She wraps her legs around you and thats when you reach the hilt "Fuck" You curse on her lips, feeling her throb inside.
You begin to move, starting off slow and deep with your movements, sure to make her feel every every inch. You're bodies are on fire as you share this intimate moment of pleasure together, relishing in the particular feeling when your hips meet. She's so wet that you can hear it, you can hear it and its driving you insane. Yunjin feels so good, you just want to stay in the moment forever.
You move to kiss her neck again, mostly so you can allow her to moan as loud as she wants to. It's because you want to hear her pretty moans, every stutter, every word she tries to get out in an attempt to let you know how good she's feeling--more importantly how good you're making her feel. She does just that "Fuck baby... so deep" and "You're so big, stretching me so good" and "don't stop." You hear all the praise and you're obsessed with it.
"You feel so good" You grunt as you begin to pick up the pace, fucking her faster "So tight and wet for me"Â
Theres a whimper that escapes her lips and shortly after a loud moan "Yes, faster please fuck me faster...harder." She pleads and you do just that, hearing the moment she begins to choke on her own words, literally losing breath as you began to hit the deepest spots inside of her. You can feel her nails scratching her back. "I love You" She moans, and the words sound so beautiful coming out of her mouth.Â
"I love you" You groan, feeling the way her cunt pulses and throbs around your cock. It felt so fucking good you couldn't even believe how good she felt, like nothing ever before. "Fuck" You sigh, leaning up to hold yourself up by your arms. Yujin looks so beautiful with her eyes closed and her eyebrows kitted together. Her whole face is flushed a shade of red and so is her body as you get her closer and closer to her climax.
Yunjin grabs onto your forearms tightly, "Gonna cum for you"Â
You reach your hand down and you begin to rub her clit in tight circles, feeling the swollen bud throb on your fingers. You're looking right at her, wanting to catch the exact moment that she topples over the edge. "Go ahead baby, let go" Your voice is soft while you say it.
She does it so beautifully. First her eyes go wide and she stares into nothing as her body goes rigid, you keep going and a moan gets caught in her throat. Yunjin gasps, then chokes out a sob right before she begins to tremble and shudder. You can feel it inside, the way her cunt begins to pulse and clench around your sensitive cock. It feels so good and it starts getting hard for you to hold back as well.
"I'm cumming" She finally gasps, releasing as her creamy slick begins to coat your entire cock. Her back arches as her orgasm knocks the wind out of her and it stays that way for a moment. With a longer moan she falls backwards and thats when you know she's done. "Fuck" She sighs as your thrusts slow to a stop. You lean down and kiss her, just to seal everything in. it's slow and sensual, a moment that could make it feel like time has frozen and the only thing that matters are her lips and her body.
Eventually you pull away from the kiss, and before you can even do anything, Yunjin flips you over. She's giggling as she does because she's still in her post-orgasm state, feeling like she's floating. The look in her eyes is so loving and lustful at the same time "Let me make you feel good" She says it in a tone that sends a chill down your spine, so sexy and naughty as she's about to please you.
Yunjin's hovering over your lap and you watch her every move. From the moment she wraps her hand around your throbbing cock to the second your tip comes into contact with her entrance. You squirm a bit, and she bites her lip, the look in her eye is dangerous, itâs fucking deadly the way it makes your heart stop for a moment.Â
Your eyes are glossed over, lost in lust as your eyes flicker downwards. She's teasing, sliding the head through her folds and she just watches you with that desperate look in your eyes. "Please" You nearly whimper and thats all it takes for her to sink downwards. A throaty moan escapes your lips and a softer moan comes from hers as she meets your body, ass flush to your upper thighs. "Fuck me" You mutter, and you mean it both in a literal and figurative way.
She takes it literally and leans forward, holding onto your shoulders as she raises her hips then slams them back down onto your body. The creaking sound that the bed makes, the slapping noise that fills your ears when your skin meets and the filthy squelch that comes from between your legs almost sends you over the edge, like all the way. "You fill me up.. so... fucking good" she bites her lip harder as she begins to get in a rhythm, bouncing on you, up and down.
You hold onto her waist, thumbs pressing into her abs as you squeezed tightly. "Oh, babe you're so fucking good at that" You praise her, a breathy groan leaving your mouth as you begin to feel the heat build in the pit of your stomach. Yunjin slows down a bit and grabs your hands, you allow her to take them off her waist as she intertwines your fingers. She pins them to the bed and leans over, using them for support as she picks up the pace.
She does it so she can feel the way your hands grip hers as a reaction to the way she clenches and rotates her hips. It feels so fucking good, so incredible, so mind numbing to be inside of her. Then not to mention the view, the most beautiful girl in the world, naked, looking at you like you're the only one that exists in her world. Perky tits bouncing and jiggling up and down with the way she's riding you. "I.. fucking.. love you" You choke the words out and she leans closer, a satisfied smile on her face.
Yunjin kisses your lips, not for too long, just as long as you can keep up with and she giggles just a bit, her breath hitching when she slams her hips down again. "I love you" She closes her eyes, then puts her head down into the crook of your neck. You know she's chasing another orgasm, but you have no clue how you're gonna hold back until then.
Now she's squeezing your hands harder than you're squeezing, maybe she's closer than you thought "Jen, baby i'm about to.." You can't even finish your sentence as she begins to bounce harder, faster on your body. "cum" You manage to say, but it comes out silent and you doubt she could hear anything over her own moans.Â
"Not yet baby, just a little longer" She begs, her voice sounding so erotic as she does. It doesn't help in the slightest.
But you try your hardest to get through without cumming, your labored breaths heaving directly into her ears. "I can't.. i'm going to cum in this... fucking-" She cuts you off with a loud moan, one that goes directly into your ear and it lets you know that she's reached her peak before you. Yunjin keeps going though, riding you mindlessly as if her mind was disconnected from her body. She's cumming, babbling in your ear as everything goes blank and you can feel every quiver inside.
Your body begins to shake as you reach the edge "Don't stop, don't fucking" You grunt as your cock begins to pulse and throb the pleasure almost too much to bare as you begin to paint her walls white with cum. "Fuck" You groan, low and long as you keep shooting endless ropes, fucking it deeper inside her as you thrust your hips up to stuff and fill her as much as possible. She stops moving and at some point you're no longer cumming.
The two of you just lay there, a hot and sweaty mess and a tangle of limbs and skin. It takes a moment for you to squeeze her hands which were still in yours, signaling that you were going to slide from under her. So you do and she rolls over and sits up, you lean in to leave another peck on her lips. "You know, the bath tub is huge and it could probably fit the both of us"Â
Yunjin smiles and gets off of the bed, she looks back at you then walks off towards the bathroom swaying her hips purposely in a way that made your heart throb. You get up and go after her, walking into the bathroom, closing the door behind you. It was then when you realized how cold the room was and you begin to shiver a bit. "Make it hot... like, super hot" You tell her as she goes to turn the water on.
You watch the steam rise from the tub where the hot water begins to pool and you allow Yunjin to get in first. Then you get in after her, sitting behind her with your legs spread. She lets her body rest against you her back to your chest and everything's warm again. You rest your chin on her shoulder "No matter what anyone says, no matter what happens... I'll never fall out of love with you" You wrap yours arms around her torso.
"How are you so reassuring?" She hums, closing her eyes as the water slowly rises, warming the both of you up even more.
"I'm just honest" You shrug, your voice soft in the way she likes.
"I love you"Â
"I love you more" You move to kiss her cheek, then she turns her face some more so you can capture her lips. No matter if the angle is kind of awkward, it still feels so right, so comfortable.
-
The next morning feels like a dream because you wake up and Yunjin's head is on your chest. Your head turns over to the digital clock on the nightstand and you see that it's eleven in the morning. You rub small circles in her back and you just lay there. For the first time in a while you feel true peace, matching her slow breaths with yours as you stared into nothing.Â
When there's no rush to leave, no rush to get up, you didn't even have to stay awake. It would make no difference if you just went back to sleep and stayed like that for the end of the day. You close your eyes again, to do just that when you feel Yunjin start to stir.
A low, raspy noise escapes her lips as she does "Babe" she calls you.
"Yeah?"
She takes a deep breath in, finally opening her eyes as she gets to look at the clock "What time does breakfast end?"
"I think like twelve" You start rubbing the sleep out of your eyes and you sit up when Yunjin rolls herself off of you. She stands up and goes over to the phone where theres a menu of all the different breakfast items they had for order.Â
Yunjin gets so focused that she doesn't even realize that you got out of the bed until she feels your arms snaking around her waist. You kiss her neck "Do you know what you want?" You question her.
"Yeah, you?"
She chews on her bottom lip as she flips through the pages "What are you getting?"
"The typical pancakes with eggs and bacon, a western staple breakfast if you ask me" You shrug.
"You're so bland" Yunjin jokes.
"I might be bland, but I managed to get you to love me. You like bland" You tease.
"Maybe I do"
#le sserafim#kpop gg#kpop smut#girl group smut#le sserafim smut#huh yunjin#yunjin smut#le sserafim yunjin#yunjin le sserafim
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hauuuuuuugh me when i dont feel real on several fucking levels???
#i dont feel like me and its concerning#my parents dont feel like my parents#i had to fucking mentally confirm a bit ago that 'yes that is yoyr friend who is having a birthday and not just some stranger'#i keep. second guessing myself on things i know are true#and my body shouldnt be mine . and my personality is only me because i made it me#if you took all of the fake things and stripped them from me what the fuck would be left#and oopsies i cant talk to anyone about it because the only people i would are my friends and i know most of them have more issues than me#but i cant help them with that because all i have is luck and a shitty jokey personality to scrape through life with#i owe them so much honestly. i only really go outside with them. otherwise i would be a total shut in#and i cant do so much as ask if theyre okay because if they say yes its likely a lie and if they say no then what do i do ?#so im not making them deal with more of my shit. so i'll just keep having those moments where i look up and take a bit to remember its real#im so lucky. just to be alive. and for what#to make shitty jokes and never help anyone and rot in my room all day?#but if i make a change now people will notice somethings off about me. parents would get concerned if j did anything not in my room#one day my lucks going to run out and ill be gone and i won't be memorable because none of me is real#..if youre my friend and you see this. i love you and i wish i could do so much more to help you#and im sorry im a little too pathetic to be able to do that now but one day ill figure out how to help people and be useful#and repay everythjng#and one day i wont be some weird combination of personas and jokes and fakes#just. gotta get there#. still. it feels like the real old me got cut out of their body and i got stuck in here instead. if i could id give it back lol#hell. is this even real or am i just spouting what i thjnk i should be feeling#my emotions go by so fast that they dont feel real either#ha i need to stop rambling here#maybe im having a Dont Trust How You Feel After Nine moment#does this. count as#derealisation#probably
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Give It To Someone Special (Detective!Agnes x f!Reader)
You take your fiancĂŠe home before the holidays, but your parents and Agnes have never been on the same wavelength. On the drive back home, you offer her the best remedy to release her tension that you know.
Content/Warnings: Smut, Rough sex, Car Sex, Dom/Sub Dynamic, Age Gap Relationship, Vaginal Fingering, Choking, Spit Play, Degradation kink, They fuck nasty but they really love each other
Thank you so much to @ragnarockz @msharkness @lotsofmilfs for beta reading and helping me get this out in time for the holidays! I appreciate all of you angels so much! âĄ
Iâm actually home for Christmas for the first time in years and the amount of time driving around to meet family that finds me odd and off putting inspired me, but like make it horny and enjoyable. My Yuletide Gift, from me to you! Enjoy my loves, happy holidays!
It was raining. Of course it was, you were in early December, and thanks to climate change, Westview barely got an actual white Christmas anymore. Let alone snowy December Days. Driving even further down South to the town your parents lived in certainly hadnât helped. Miniscule raindrops hit the windshield silently, making the view muddy. The road was concealed by the mist like rain, the cars headlights piercing through just enough to safely follow the path.
Some young pop stars had covered Last Christmas, and the radio played it for the third time today. If dinner had been better, you might have sung along. But, as per usual, bringing Agnes out to see your parents had gone like shit, so you didnât exactly feel the holiday spirit right now. The rain didnât exactly help either.
Agnesâ hair was in a low ponytail, a few strands falling loose around her face, forehead creased stoically as her eyes were fixed on the road. A few days ago, youâd found the first grey hairs on her head while laying entangled in the morning, pressing little kisses to the crown of her head as sheâd frowned and told you to get box dye immediately.
Now, the grey had disappeared between the rich brown of the rest of her hair,. If if you didnât know you probably wouldnât even notice them at all. However, the frown on her face remained. Just, it wasnât her own greys frustrating her anymore. It was your parents. You licked your lips, resisting the urge to reach for her hand. Not while she was driving in weather conditions like this.
âThank youâ, you said instead, breaking the silence that had lingered since youâdyou'd entered the car in your parents driveway. âFor coming with me. I know you donât exactly get along.â
Her jaw tensed, you could hear the motor give a tiny roar when her foot pressed down on the gas a little harder. You swallowed, eyes focusing back on the dark road before you. The highway was empty this late on a Sunday, especially in this weather. It was early December, most people hadnât gone to visit family yet. You just liked to get it done early.
âI donât mind your dad most of the timeâ, Agnes huffed, knuckles tightening around the steering wheel. âBut today ⌠was just uncalled for.â
âWhat did he say?â, you asked without looking at her, wanting to give her the space to dodge the question if she didnât want to talk about it.
âHe probably just had too much beer.â, Agnes snarled, but you could tell it still bothered her, âSaid the ring youâre wearing is a seal of your fate, that youâll be in the prime of your life stuck taking care of some bitter old cop. That Iâm stealing your best years and you donât even realise it.â
You bit the inside of your cheek, anger boiling in the pit of your stomach. âIâm sorry. He shouldnât feel entitled to say something like that, alcohol or not. Thatâs messed up.â
She scoffed, shoulders rolling back. âItâs fine. I know your mom doesnât like me either.â
âThatâs not trueâ, your tone didnât even convince yourself. Your mother was better at pretending, but even you knew the smile she put on whenever Agnes and you drove down once or twice a year was a forced one. That she wished the person you brought home was anyone but the rough around the edges woman besides you. Like it was any of her business who made you happy.
Agnes scoffed. âI know she doesnât show you her brunch friendsâ shiny young sons for shits and giggles.â
âAgnes.â
The rain had intensified, thick drops of rain splattering against the windshield. Another roar of the engine. She kept her eyes focused on the road, gripping the steering wheel a lot tighter than she had to. You swallowed.
âYou know none of their shit matters, right?â, A heavy sigh left your lips when she wouldnât even glance at you, âMy dad is talking out of his ass and my mother still thinks maybe the whole liking women thing will be over soon, as if we havenât been engaged for two years now.â
Agnes stayed silent, eyes sternly focused on the dark road, only the sound of raindrops splattering onto the windshield between you. And that cover of Last Christmas, again.
You passed a road sign. A parking lot and a phone cell just a few miles ahead of you.
âLetâs stop thereâ, you proposed, watching the way Agnes pressed her lips together in a harsh line. âYou know I donât like when you drive angry.â
âIâm not angryâ, she replied immediately, and as if to prove her point, she took her foot off the gas, letting the car slow down a little, âIâm just ⌠irritated.â
âEither wayâ, finally, you reached out to her, brushing the few lost strands of hair behind her ear. The gentle touch of your fingertips against her cheek had her exhale immediately, readjusting her grip on the steering wheel. The car did a minimal swirl to the left before she caught herself again and readjusted her position on the road.
You giggled, pulling your hand away, elbows leaning on the middle console as you grinned at her. The tip of your tongue peaked out past your lips, giving her a coy smile. âI think you should take a break to ⌠release some tension anyway.â Your voice dropped lower when you saw the way her jaw tensed. âAnd itâs just us out here tonight.â
At the clearly suggestive tone that swung in your voice, she finally glanced over at you, pupils dark. You shrugged your coat off your shoulders, leaning a little further towards her, eyes batting almost innocently.
Agnes' eyes stared at your lips, your eyes, your shoulder, still covered by a knit sweater, but the lacy strap of your bra peeking out, and then quickly back to the road before you.
She swallowed hard, then scoffed. But the smirk on her lips betrayed her, even as her eyes turned back to the road. Her right hand left the steering wheel to come rest firmly on your thigh, fingers brushing over the fabric of your pants so high up, your breath hitched at the contact. That made her chuckle, a low sound in the back of her throat, and she blinked right to pull over into the parking lot. âMaybe youâre rightâ, her thumb ran lazily up and down your inner thigh and you felt your stomach tighten at the touch. âA break sounds good right now.â
You were right, the small square of asphalt lay completely abandoned, nothing but a few parking spots and a telephone cell already halfway towards decay. No street lights, no buildings, just Agnes' grey little car alone between fields and meadows, the rain now pouring down against the metal roof.
Agnes put the car into park mode and turned off the radio, right hand never leaving your thigh as she did so, and then took a deep breath, back of her head hitting her seat as she did. She would never admit it, but she wasnât just frustrated, she was tired too. Exhausted of never being enough to please your parents, of every trip to see them going to shit in some way. There was the little crease between her brows, the one she always got when she worried, when she was questioning herself.
âBabyâ, you sighed. Now that you were safely parked, you leaned over the middle console completely and reached for her face with both hands, turning her head to face you. The tips of your fingers ran over her cheekbones, gently cradling her face, and her face immediately softened. Her hands wrapped around your wrists, keeping you close, the tips of your noses mere inches apart from each other.
âIâm sorry we left on a bad noteâ, she said, blue eyes warm as she scanned your face, âI know you just want them to be happy.â
You shook your head at that, your thumbs brushing over her bottom lip as you gave her a warm, reassuring smile.
âIâm sorry we spent your day off driving all the way down there only for dinner to be shitâ, you replied, âI want my parents to be happy, but I value your happiness more.â
Her eyes widened, and you watched her pupils dilate at your little smile, which only made you grin brighter. âI mean it.â
Agnes' lips parted and she took a short breath. But before she could say anything else though, you surged forward, cutting her off with your lips on hers. Chapped lips melted against yours, leaning forward to deepen the kiss immediately. Fingers wrapped around the back of your neck to tug you closer, and you had to smile against her. Your teeth brushed against her upper lip and you felt Agnes holding back a little moan against your lips.
âI donât care what my parents thinkâ, you whispered, cupping her face in your palms. You made sure to look at her while speaking, watching the way her eyes flicked from your lips to your eyes, back to your lips. Your breath was heavy. âI just want you.â
For a moment, you just held eye contact in silence.
Agnes barely smiled, and she wasnât one to keep her heart on her sleeve either, but you had learned that a lot of her inner world played out right behind her eyes. The way all color seemed to fade from them when she was sad, every little crease of her brow. How bright and wide they turned only when she looked at you.
Your tongue darted out, wetting your bottom lip as she scanned your face, that bright, distant look of almost disbelief on her face. Like she couldnât wrap her head around the fact that you were real, that you chose to wake up next to her every single day. Like she was trying really hard to focus on what you were saying, but failing miserably.
A calloused thumb ran along your jaw, gentle like you were something delicate to be handled with care.
âYouâre too good to meâ, she murmured, and your own hand found hers, clasping around the pale skin, her fingers flexing in your grip.
âAnd youâre still way too tenseâ, you whispered, watching her eyes widen as you lead her thumb up and over your chin, grazing your bottom lip. Her eyes were firmly focused on the tip of her thumb, and you couldnât help but grin before pushing it up further, lips parting to slip the single digit inside.
Agnes sucked in a sharp breath, watching the way your lips closed around her finger like it was some kind of mysterious sorcery, like sheâd never seen it before. You had to withhold a smirk, tongue swirling around the tip of her thumb playfully, cheeks hollowing out as you made a show out of it. Agnes' other hand on the back of your neck tightened its grip, grasping at your soft hairs there.
Your eyes fluttered shut as you let out a soft moan, like her thumb pressing down onto your tongue was the most delicious thing youâve ever tasted. It was. Your stomach did a little flip at the taste, and a part of you wanted her to push more fingers past your lips, until you were gagging on her.
When she pulled out eventually, thumb now glistening wet, your mouth still parted as you blinked up at her with a smirk, you could swear you saw her tremble a little.
Agnes was fidgeting around in her seat, her eyes dark as she licked her lips, gaze heavy with arousal.
She kissed you again, firmly, one hand finding your shoulder and holding you in place, the other on your cheek, her wet thumb leaving a thin trail of your saliva on your skin. It made your insides feel like they were burning up.
âI really want to eat you out right nowâ, you gasped into her mouth, barely holding back the breathless giggle that accompanied your words. Her grip in your shoulder tightened, fingers digging into your skin.
âWay too good to meâ, Agnes purred, her gaze heavy, fingers hot on your skin. Your lips were parted in a slight pant. Your thighs pressed together where you were still halfway sitting in your seat, halfway draped over the middle console to be as close to her as possible. Agnes glanced down at you, cheeks hot and lips swollen from kissing, your eyes dark and pupils round, practically begging her for more. Her own face was flushed too, and her breath had picked up, taking sharp breaths through her nose.
âBackseatâ, she ordered, her tone leaving no room for discussion. Not that you had any intention to disobey. âNow.â
You jumped out of your seat and into the rain faster than you thought you were even able to move.
But, Agnes was still faster. She leapt around the car, pried the backseat door open, and before you even knew what was happening, your back hit the hard cushions. She was on top of you, crowding you up in the limited space of her car, slamming the door behind her shut with a little more force than necessary. She was straddling your hips, eyes now black with lust as she stared down at you. Even though youâd only been in the rain for a few seconds, wet strands of hair were already sticking to her forehead, and she wiped them back with one hand, the other finding your chest, pinning you down against the car seats.
âYouâre wetâ, she stated, and when a whine left your throat in response, paired with a twitch of your hips underneath her. She let out a hollow laugh. âI meant your shirt, slut.â
Your lips curled into a pout and her hand on your chest grabbed a fistful of your wine red sweater. She leaned down towards you, propping herself up with her other hand, until her face was mere inches from yours. You craned your neck, trying to catch her lips with yours, but she was just out of reach, her smile smug as she tugged harder on your sweater, exposing your midriff. A breathy whine escaped your throat, met by an evil chuckle.
âNot so assertive now, huh?â, her brows raised almost mockingly and for a moment, she just enjoyed watching you struggle underneath her, unable to push up against her grip on your jumper, helplessly wiggling underneath where she had you pinned. It was utterly pathetic, and by the way her breath came ragged, it was exactly what she wanted. Keeping you pinned down by your chest, she rolled her hips down into yours exactly once, the rough fabric of her jeans pushing against your softer, loose fitting slacks.
âAgnes pleaseâ, you whined at the contact, staring up at her through heavy lids. Heat was pooling in your stomach, you knew that your underwear must already be absolutely soaked, and you wanted nothing more than for her to just press her knee up against your core, to grind down against her until you were in tears from how good it would feel.
For a moment, she seemed to actually consider it. Then, she readjusted her position, sitting back up. At the loss of her closeness you almost cried out in frustration.
But her gaze was stern, so you didnât dare to just yet.
âArms upâ, she instructed, eyes twinkling even in the dark at your eagerness.
You put your hands up over your head willingly, allowing her to quickly pull the knit sweater up and off, leaving you in just a thin black bralette, goosebumps rising on your skin. The moment the jumper was over your head, her lips found yours in a bruising kiss. One of her hands found your wrists and immediately pinned them over your head, the other one found your ribs, tips of her fingers running over your exposed skin. When you gasped at the contact, she took the opportunity to slip her tongue past your lips, smirking against you at the mewl in the back of your throat. The muscle ran over your teeth, pushing your own tongue aside as she explored your mouth, claiming each and every inch as her own in the process. Her hand ran over the flimsy lace of your bralette, and the little squeeze to one of your breasts made you squeak into her mouth.
âWorked up already?â, her voice had dropped low, that mocking tone she loved to taunt you with. A thumb ran over the curve of your breast, self satisfaction painting her face when she found your nipple already hard peaking through the thin fabric. She ran her index and middle finger over it, pressing down right into the hard bud just once. Hot pleasure surged through your body and your chest pushed up into her touch, the mewl escaping your lips loud and desperate.
âYou knowâ, her hand wandered further up, over your collarbone. The tip of her finger ran over it asshe licked her lips. Like she was already planning how to devour you, how she was going to paint your delicate skin in shades of purple.
She was watching the way you were trembling under her touch, trying so hard to stay still. Fingers wandered up your throat, finally clasping around your neck, her grip firm but not yet tight. Agnes leaned down, voice ghosting so close to your ear you could feel her lips move against it. âIf you just wanted me to fuck you in the backseat, you couldâve just asked.â
A moment of silence. Then you felt the tip of her tongue dart out, running along the shell of your ear. Hot breath right against it. âNext time we can skip the entire dinner and just go straight to this.â
Finally, her legs shifted, her knee pushing between your thighs. Your legs parted willingly, mouth opening in a gasp. Her fingers tightened around your neck, and the mix of finally feeling something push up against your aching cunt and the sudden lack of oxygen made your head spin. Agnes knew how to make you melt into nothing but a boiling hot puddle beneath her.
Agnesâ voice was still right by your ear, though she was leaning towards your face now, watching every muscle shift in reaction to her touch.
âYou think you can cum like this?â, she taunted, âWith me merely touching you?â
You nodded frantically, eyes wide with eagerness. Agnes scoffed, âDidnât take you for such a needy slut, but alright.â Without warning, her knee pushed up hard against you, and the squeak you let out was high pitched and throaty, weak through her firm hold on your neck. The older woman raised her brows expectantly, âShow me, and maybe Iâll fuck you properly after.â
There were lawyers of fabric between you, and it shouldnât work as well as it did, but God, you could not get enough. Your underwear was soaked, sticking to your core, and if you rolled your hips just right, angled yourself with just the slightest arch of your back, your clit brushed against her knee just right. So that was exactly what you did, grinding down into her, trying desperately to push closer as she kept your wrists pinned above your head with one hand, and your throat tightly gripped by the other. Piercing blue eyes stared down at you, taking in every single rut of your hips, every gasping attention to grasp for air, the flush of your face, your eyes fluttering open and closed as you worked yourself against her, steady and unwavering even in your compromising position. It was a borderline pathetic sight, and she couldnât get enough of it. She needed to watch you fall apart like this, needed you to come undone on the brink of consciousness. She needed to see you in absolute ruin, from barely any stimulation at all. So you did.
You lost your sense of orientation, no way to tell where was up and down. Stars danced before your eyes, black spots mixing in with them over the blurry view of her face hovering over you. Hot white, spots of black, bright blue. Your eyes fluttered shut, but the view remained. Hips pressing down hard against her knee, picking up their pace as much as you could. Or maybe the sudden flashes of almost painful pleasure just came naturally, you genuinely couldnât tell. But the soaked cotton of your underwear rubbed against your aching clit, pulsating with want as you chased more and more of it.
âThatâs itâ, the only clear sensation flooding your mind was her voice, so close to your ear, ringing through your head, âYou look absolutely wrecked, my love.â
Hot, wet lips against the shell of your ear. A moan tried to escape your throat, but no sound could make it past the vice grip she had on your throat.
You felt scathing hot beneath her, burning up from the inside out, pleasure overtaking every last nerve end of your body. Finally, it all came crashing down. Your core pressed against her knee, not even rutting against her anymore, just pushing up as close as you could as a wave of heated, explosive euphoria shot up your spine. Your body was shaking, there was no up or down, left or right. There were just colors dancing before your eyes as your mouth fell open, no scream able to push past her tight hold and the pulsating of your aching clit as the orgasm took over all of your senses.
The grip on your throat disappeared, and your lungs rapidly filled with air in a loud, deep groan. Agnesâ lips attached to the side of your neck, nipping and kissing along the reddened skin, feeling the deep, slow breaths you took as slowly, your vision cleared and you felt the cushions beneath you again.
She released your wrists still pinned to the car door over your head as well, and your hands immediately found her hair, tugging her up towards your lips. She kissed you softly, making sure you could still breathe through it.
You wanted to moan into it, her name right on your lips, but no sound could make it past your throat, the strain settling in. Agnes' tongue darted out against your bottom lip, and you let her enter, hands running down her front. Your fingers dug into the washed out fabric of her flannel shirt, pulling her closer by it. Your legs, still shaking from the ragged orgasm prior loosely wrapped around her hips, holding her as close to you as possible.
The kiss turned heated again, and you felt your sense of up and down slip away. But she pulled away before you could fully lose yourself in the feeling again, leaning back enough to take you in before her. Your neck raw and bruised, painted by choking marks from her hands, a few blooming kisses peppered between them, the ghosting remnants of her teeth against your jaw. She loved to paint you hers, the view of her mark on you unlocking a feral, deep lust in her, a need to claim you and your pleasure as hers. To let everyone who laid eyes upon you know that she was the one touching you, that she was willing to do anything to make you feel good. And the things she did to you, even in the back of your car in the middle of nowhere on a mid December night ⌠it should embarrass you, but something inside you twisted the humiliation into fuel for the fire inside you. Your legs twitched.
âAgnesâ, you managed to croak out, surprised by how hoarse your own voice was, the single word barely making it past your lips.
Her brow raised, âWhat?â
Instead of an answer, you just tilted your head back, lips parting. Your tongue darted out, flat as your gaze found hers, a silent plea. Agnes' eyes turned black, her fingers digging into your waist harder. But, of course, your wish was granted.
Agnes strained her neck, jaw tightening at the movement. She was leaning over you, dark eyes never breaking contact with yours as a single string of saliva left her lips, dropping right onto your waiting tongue. Your eyes fluttered shut, lips closing around it as you savoured her spit like an expensive, rare fruit. With heavy eyes you stared at her from beneath your lashes as you swallowed, wincing at the slight pain the motion sent through your neck.
âJesus fuckâ, Agnes voice was low, nails digging into your waist, and your legs wrapped tighter around her at the sharp pain.
âIf you could see yourself right nowâ, Agnes groaned, âSo fucked out ⌠and I havenât even touched you yet.â
She surged back down, lips crashing into yours, and you managed to actually slip an audible moan past your throat this time, arms wrapping around her neck as you let her tongue lap into your mouth.
âFlip overâ, she panted, words mere inches from your own lips, before propping herself up enough to give you some movement space, âOn your hands and knees.â
Wriggling into the new position proved slightly difficult in the small space, but eventually you made it. On all fours, you cowered in front of her, Agnes forced to be halfway draped over your body with the low ceiling of the car. One hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against her before reaching up to brush your hair over your shoulder. Warm lips ghosted over the back of your neck, trailing downward between your shoulder blades.
âYou okay?â, she grumbled, lips vibrating against your skin and you gave a quick nod.
Her lips attached to your back again, this time more urgently, sucking your skin between her teeth, the pain minimal but delicious.
Her other hand dove into your pants, brushing over your tailbone before dipping lower. She gave your ass a little squeeze, grunting into your neck at the feeling of your soft flesh in her palm. Her knuckles ran over your asshole on their way further down, and you jumped at the unexpected contact, making her chuckle.
âNow, nowâ, she just as much purred into your ear, âDonât get greedyâ, teeth nipped at your earlobe, âIâm saving that one for another time.â
Your breath hitched, pushing back into her touch as her hand ran lower, down the curve of your ass and then finally, the tips of her fingers dipped between your folds.
She hissed at the contact feeling not just how hot you were but also the amount of slick that covered your core, absolutely soaking your underwear that sheâd pushed past so easily.
âYou are so wetâ, she hummed, pressing a kiss to the sensitive spot right below your ear, âHow embarrassing.â
Her index and middle finger swirled around your entrance, collecting liquid pleasure along their way. Your hips bucked back into her touch almost all on their own, and you heard her tut.
âDonât get impatient now.â
For a moment, her touch was gone, and all you felt was the stretch of your cotton panties as she pulled her hand away. The lining sat just over your clit, and maybe if you rolled your hips just right âŚ
Agnes let out an evil little laugh. âGod, youâre so fucking pathetic.â
And then, without any warning or preparation, she plunged right in. Two digits slid right inside with little to no resistance, and the sudden intrusion made you jump, the moan on your lips shaking your entire body.
âAgnes fuck!â
She did not waste any time easing you into it, thrusting into you at a rapid pace, her hips pressed firmly against your ass. Your fingers dug into the fabric of the car seat underneath you, back arched like a cat to take her as deep as possible.
Once she was sure your position was stable enough, her other hand let go of your waist. Before you knew it, her fist curled into your hair, yanking your head back. You yelped at the unexpected tug, gasping for air as a hot, tingling sensation slowly crept up your entire body.
Her fingers drilled into you mercilessly, other hand pulling your head back by your hair. The tug was harsh at your roots, a sharp pain shooting through your skull that mixed deliciously with the way her fingers brushed over your walls, sliding in and out with no resistance.
âAgnesâ, you mewled, eyes rolling back in your skull. The fist in your hair gripped harder.
âWhat, slut?â, she spat, fingers never breaking their brutal rhythm.
âPleaseâ, was all you managed to reply. But of course, that wasnât enough.
âPlease, what?â Her tone was harsh, and if it wasnât for her grip on your hair, your head would have fallen forward in frustration.
âMake me cumâ, you groaned, throat burning. You pushed your hips down into her hand, your entire body shaking as her fingers brushed over that one spot that made you see stars. âLike thatâ, you rasped, not caring for your voice anymore, so lost in the mix of pain and pleasure, all you needed was to reach that peak, and then come crashing down rapidly.
âDonât stop Agnes, oh godâ please donât stop! Iâm gonnaââ
And then you crashed. Her fingers drilled into you relentlessly, hitting the right spot with every thrust. The wet fabric of your panties still clung to your pulsating clit, and you could feel the way she pushed her own hips against the curve of your ass, felt her ragged breath against your back. For a moment, everything turned into singing, burning hot pleasure.
Your limbs gave out beneath you and you collapsed forward onto the seat. However, before your forehead could hit the car door right in front of you, Agnes' arm had wrapped around your waist already, interrupting your fall before gently laying you down on the cushions. Your breaths came ragged, panting loudly, throat still aching, your body numb from sheer overwhelming pleasure, tears stinging in your eyes.
But Agnes was right there. Her hand slipped out of your pants, running up your spine to brush your hair out of your face, a gentle kiss finding your cheek, arms wrapped around you firmly enough to keep you grounded, but not so tight that you could feel smothered. Slowly, your breath evened, craning your neck carefully, just enough to glance back at her.
âFuckâ, you sighed, sweat glistening on your brow.
Agnes chuckled. âWhat, youâre done already?â Her hand brushed a few strands of hair from your forehead, stuck to the layer of sweat on your skin, âI thought you were gonna eat me out back hereâ
Still catching your breath, you shook your head at her. âNot after that Iâm notâ, your voice was hoarse, throat still a little tight and youâd definitely feel sore tomorrow morning. âI can barely breathe.â
Her thumb slid underneath your chin, tilting your face upwards to look directly at her. âAre you okay, darling? Did I go to hard?â
Slowly, as to not strain your neck any further, you shook your head. âI promise Iâd tell you if you did.â
Her eyes scanned your face for any signs of pain, but when all you did was give her a gentle smile, she nodded. âLetâs lay you down for a moment," she whispered, leaning forward. Her lips pressed against your forehead for a soft, lingering kiss, âI could use a breather myself.â
You were laying on your back, head in her lap, the blanket she kept in the back of the car for emergencies draped over your body, your hands holding one of hers, gently running your fingertips up and down her calloused palm. The movement came to a halt when she felt the metal of your ring brush against her skin, the rough edges of the little polished amethyst on the band. Her hand clasped around yours, warm skin against skin.
âWe should pick a date soonâ, she whispered suddenly, and your eyes fluttered open, already half asleep in your exhausted state.
âHm?â
She leaned forward, nose brushing against the shell of your ear before pressing a single, small kiss to your cheek. âWe should get married next summerâ, she whispered, ponytail falling over her shoulder. Your heart skipped a beat.
âIâve already made you wait too long," Agnes murmured, forehead resting against yours.
You stretched your free arm over your head, blinking up at her, eyes bright in the half dark of the car.
âIâd like thatâ, you whispered back, voice growing hoarse from the strain your earlier actions had put on your vocal cords. âMaybe Lilia could officiate. And weâd have a bonfire in the backyard. Iâd wear a flower crown. Jen could do my makeup.â You sounded drowsy, half asleep but still smiling, the vision clear before your eyes, cheeks warm at the thought.
Agnes looked at you for a moment, and her face was soft. No crease on her forehead from constant frowning, no furrowed brows. Her lips were swollen from kissing you so hard, and they were slightly parted when she leaned in, a slow, gentle press of her lips against yours.
âI love youâ, she murmured, and you felt her arms wrap tighter around you. âAnd promise weâll make our day the most special day it can be. But Jen is not touching my wife at my wedding. Youâre beautiful as is. Jen should feel lucky that sheâs invited.â You rolled your eyes at her, pulling her into another kiss by the back of her neck. She let you, leaning down to brush her lips gently against yours.
The Radio played that stupid song again. This time, it made you smile, whether you wanted it to or not.
âMerry Christmasâ, you whispered against her lips, and she pulled back in surprise. For a moment, she stared down at you in disbelief, like she was waiting for a punchline of some sort. But at your sheepish little grin, she just rolled her eyes with affection.
âMerry Christmas to you too, my love.â
#berry writes things#agatha all along#agatha harkness#agatha harkness x reader#agnes of westview#agnes o'connor#Agnes oâconnor x reader#aaa#Marvel#wandavision#mcu
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A Much Needed Interview (OP81)
(Part 2 of Teen Dad) Summary: After the shock of Oscar revealing himself to be a former teen dad, he joins an interview in the hopes of clearing everything up and limiting the overwhelming amount of questions he has been getting.
âOscar, it is nice of you to sit down with us. I know it has been an interesting few weeks for you and your family. How are you guys all doing?â The interviewer asks.
âYeah, yâknow, I had expected to one day have to open up about it all, but I never thought Iâd have to do it the way I did. It has been fine, obviously my kids are young enough to not be impacted because they arenât on social media, but it has been strange for my fiancĂŠe who is now getting hundreds of requests on her private account. I have sort of decided to take a break from social media because the response has been overwhelming and like none before. Mostly positive but I think a few people have gotten the wrong idea so I was hoping to clear everything up.â Oscar rambled. He was more nervous about this interview than any he had done before.
âOf course. Why donât we start at the beginning, how did you and your fiancĂŠe meet?â
âWe actually met at one of my races. She went to support one of her close friendâs brothers. After the race that I sadly didnât do too well in, I saw her with her friend and I was kinda frozen in my spot, immediately head over heels. Sadly, it seems like everyone but her noticed. I was too scared to do anything so I just watched her leave. I think I sulked for days, totally regretting my decision to do nothing. A totally heartbroken 16 year old. I looked for her every single race until she finally came back a few months later.â
âOh please tell me you finally got the confidence to shoot your shot.â
âNope! I just stared at her and stuttered when she caught me looking then ran off. I then had an amazing race, I think part of me was just trying to make up for the embarrassment and luckily it seems my car got the memo. After the race she came up to me and asked for my number.â God, he was blushing profusely at the memory. He knew he would be getting slack for this for a very long time.Â
âSuch a story! The young Oscar Piastri was no ladiesâ man.â
âHe was absolutely not. Soon after we started dating.â Oscar awkwardly laughed, sensing what was about to come up.
âAnd then kids came shortly after?â The interviewer asked with care in his voice, certainly able to sense Oscarâs change in attitude.
âYeah. Uh, obviously not planned. I donât think many people plan to become parentâs at 18. It was a shock⌠I didnât handle it the best at first, something I think I will always regret. She was scared and while so was I, I should have been more supportive. I was embarrassed for a while. Felt like a total idiot. I didnât tell anyone outside of my family and made them swear to secrecy. I also began to isolate myself from friends because I couldnât bring myself to tell them but also felt terrible lying. A few months in I finally snapped myself out of it and began to focus on all the wonderfulness that was to come. I loved her more than anything and I would be lying if I said I hadnât already imagined a life together in great detail. By the time we found out it was twins, a boy and a girl, I was ecstatic.â
âWell mate, I donât blame you for your feelings. I definitely would have been a terrible father at 18 so I salute you.â The interviewer joked.
âHonestly, I had the same thought for a while, even when I was excited to have kids. I had so many doubts about it, I mean how could I not? But when it came down to it, I couldnât afford to be anything less than a great father. Of course I had my moments, and still do years later, but I wouldnât be able to let myself be anything less than I am. If you love your kids enough, you find a way.â
âHow did having kids so young impact your career? Obviously it didnât hurt it too much considering you are in your second year driving in Formula 1.â
âWell, I decided I wouldnât advertise my situation unless a team was very serious about me. Prema knew, Alpine did too and of course McLaren does. All were welcoming and accommodating, as much as they could be. I donât think I would have gone with any of them if they werenât cool with it though. I realized the minute my kids were born I would give it all up for them, which scared the hell out of me.â
âThat is admirable. All these years later you are still with their mother, correct?â
âYes! I asked her to marry me over break. Everyone close to us had been confused as to why it took so long but we had discussed marriage together many times and made the decision that because our relationship moved so fast with having kids so young, we would wait a bit. I mean, we are still young but I honestly couldnât wait any longer. She is everything to me and the most wonderful mother my kids could have.â
âHave your kids been around the paddock yet? I assume they are old enough to understand what you do.â
âThey have been to the factory and come with me to meetings when we havenât had a sitter for them. Luckily, they are both very well behaved in public, they also really like watching the races on tv and have somewhat of an understanding of what I do. They donât believe I actually drive the car though.â Oscar rumbled. Trying to convince his twins that yes, their father actually does drive the cars they see going super fast, has been an ongoing issue. They seem to believe he is tricking them but have no problem believing Uncle Logan and Uncle Lando drive the cars. It has definitely humbled him immensely.
âWell you will have to fix that soon huh? Will they be attending races in the future?â
âI am trying to work that out with my fiancĂŠe actually. They are almost four so we donât want them traveling too far, I also donât believe they will be able to be entertained solely by the race the entire time so we have a lot to deal with. But I think seeing them on the paddock supporting me will be one of the best moments of my life. I selfishly canât wait for them to come.â
The interview wrapped up shortly after that. Getting to reminisce on the start of his relationship and how far they have come and how many wonderful things are in the future put Oscar in a deliriously happy mood. He couldnât wait to get home to his family.Â
Walking through the door, he was immediately welcomed to the sound of toddler meltdowns. Fully entering the house, he saw his very tired fiancĂŠe rubbing her face as she tried to calm her babies down. Clearly this had been going on for a while.
Despite how upset she looked, she immediately perked up at seeing Oscar had returned. But that immediately went away as she remembered the screaming kids and how messy the house and herself were.
âSorry honey, I know you are probably so tired after the interview and meetings earlier and these two missed their nap so they are so cranky and I just-â He cut her off with a kiss. Once he pulled away she looked at him, perplexed. A kiss from Oscar was never unwelcome but it was the last thing she expected at that moment.
âHey, look at me.â He said as he put a hand on her cheek. âI love you and our little family so much and you never, ever have to apologize for something as trivial as this. Why donât you go get in the bath and relax a little and I will try to wrangle these two, okay?âÂ
In her eyes, Oscar had never been hotter than he was now. Now it was her turn to surprise him with a kiss, even more passionate than the first. They would have continued if it hadnât been for more screaming from their two kids.
Still, Oscar wouldnât change a thing.
#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#oscar piastri x reader#oscar piastri#op81 fluff#op81 imagine#op81 x reader
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NOW OR NEVER
PAIRING: spider-man!sunghoon x fem!reader
GENRE/CW: smut, unprotected sex, choking, fingering, slight bondage, usage of nicknames, breeding.
SYNOPSIS: going around the city with your massive poster which said, âChoke me, Spider-Man!â was something you did for fun, not knowing that your dream might actually come true.
WC: 1.4k words
WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni
A/N: hihi, loves! this one was requested by my anonnie and iâve also posted this as a mark fic before! i hope you guys will like it :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated! iloveyou all <33
âShh, baby. Donât want your parents to hear now, do we?â
You truly couldnât believe that it was happeningâthat Spider-Man was in your room with his slender fingers wrapped ever so perfect around your throat.
Youâve always wanted this from the day you first saw him, on the day he saved a lift full of people from falling down and crashing to the ground. You were one of those who unfortunately got stuck inside the lift too, which was the traumatic onset of your tiny crush on him.
No one knew who was behind that mask, yet his suit clad figure was a sight to see, his build lean and slightly muscular, not to mention he smelled brilliant (a little something you gathered when he saved you).
To add to it, his ever so attractive voice always grasped everyoneâs attention, you thought he was funny too, which is exactly why you ended up making a poster full of glitter saying:
Choke me, Spider-Man!
It was a silly joke, albeit youâd definitely be lying if you say you didnât get wet dreams about the superhero, because you did. Detailed ones at that.
Maybe carrying the poster with you at all times was a stretch but you did it anyway, granted that your city was full of crimes and spotting Spider-Man was an easy task, which is why you proudly held up the poster in the crowd whenever you saw him, after he fought with the villain that is.
The people around you laughed, but it wasnât mocking, it was more of an amused laugh, and you could have sworn you noticed spidey look your way, before swinging away, much to your dismay.
This went on a few times. You were practically waving the poster frantically when it was the fourth time, yet he didnât pay you attention of any sort, leaving you dejected as you dragged yourself back home from Uni, chuckling at your state.
Crush on a superhero?
Pathetic.
Heâs loved by countless people all over the world, what makes you think heâd have time to give you even a sliver of his attention when heâs so busy saving the world?
Clicking your tongue, you threw the crumbled poster in the trash can of your bedroom, dimming the lights as you sat down on your bed, ready to change into your nightwear before opting to sleep to take your mind off things.
Just then, a loud sound of knocking on your window caught your attention, which was funny considering you lived up on a pretty high floor in your apartment building. You thought that it must be a bird, still, you decided to open the curtains to check it out.
Shock would be an understatement to explain what you were feeling the second your eyes laid on the person right outside your window.
The reason for your sour mood, or rather, the reason you spent hours trying to ease the pent up frustration in you each night, moaning out with need, was hanging by your window.
âOh god,â you breathed out, brain short circuiting for a few seconds before you shook your head, opening the windows for him to come in.
Who knew Spider-Man would actually care enough to notice you?
Then you realized just how awkward the situation was, and you didnât have much to say anymore now that he was standing right in front of you, looking around as if he was inspecting your room.
âSpider man,â you breathed out, and he chuckled.
His attention was on you now, walking closer to you, âso, youâre the one who wanted to be choked by me,â he said smoothly, and you couldnât help but shamelessly gawk at his figure, mouth watering at the sight.
âUhmâI mean, holy fuck youâre actually here,â you tried to voice out your thoughts, but they were a mess, which only caused him to chuckle at your shocked state.
âDidnât you want me here, baby?â He asked and you felt your knees buckling at the deep tone of his voice.
You took another step back, only to lose balance and trip. But good for you, your spidey was quick to shoot his web on your silky night blouse, pulling you close and right into his arms.
He smelled so good.
âCareful. We donât want you hurting your pretty face,â he whispered, tracing his glove clad finger along your jaw, gripping your chin when he noticed how your body had gone still, âdeep breaths, babe.â
âAre you gonna fuck me?â You asked, voice coming out in a low whine, eyes twinkling with hope.
He chuckled, pulling his mask up which had you bubbling with anticipation, you really wanted to see what he looked like. However, he stopped a little too soon for your liking, only exposing his lips, leaning in to mumble against your own.
âIâm gonna fuck the life out of you,â he whispers, a gasp leaving your lips as you pulled him closer into a rushed kiss.
He was quick to take over, kissing you harder as he pushed you down on your bed, you could feel his fang like canines biting down on your bottom lip, âundress, quick,â he ordered, and you fumbled while getting everything off your body.
Your cheeks were warm, your eyes on his figure, which was now devoid of his costume, faint abs and strong muscles on display for you, but your mouth practically salivated at the sight of his cock, thick and hard.
Just when you sat up to touch him, he grabbed your wrist, pushing them up your head and shooting webs to tie them, making sure they didnât move.
You never knew youâd be into web-play but here you are, getting wet by being constrained by webs.
âPlease,â you begged in hopes that heâd touch you, or do something, anything.
âSo needy, arenât you?â He clicks his tongue, his fingers caressing your cunt, collecting your wetness, âso wet already,â he smirked, âwanna be fucked all night, huh?â He asked, continuing working his fingers between your legs, arousal leaking from your cunt.
His other hand was wrapped up around your neck, fingers tightening enough for you to gasp, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you felt lightheaded with the whole situation, but you couldnât have asked for anything better.
He was so good with his fingers, thumb pads circling your clit while two digits plunged in and out of you, eliciting moans out of you.
âShh,â he whispered, his hold around your neck tightening which caused you to open your mouth, giving him the perfect opportunity to lean in and spit in your mouth, watching the glob travel down your tongue till you gulped it down, earning a praise out of him, âgood girl.â
He pulled back right when your body started shaking with the orgasm building up in your lower abdomen, his hold on your neck loose to let you breathe some more before he took it to the next level.
He ran his lips down your neck, sucking harshly as he lined his cock to your eager folds, your expression blissful and your entrance so wet, it made it easy for him to bottom out, âso fucking pretty,â he groaned out.
His voice strained as he started fucking you into your mattress, his power was evident with how precise and hard his thrusts were. It was a lifetime opportunity for you, and you wished to savour every second of it as you wrapped your legs around his slender waist, pulling him even closer and deeper in your pussy.
He hit your spot over and over again, âcream my cock like a good girl, baby,â he rasped out, his own orgasm approaching.
You couldnât hold back anymore, with his fingers still gripping your neck, the lack of air was evident but it somehow made you feel as if you were floating with unadulterated bliss around you as you finally reached your state of euphoria, coming undone on his cock, exactly when he filled you up with his cum, mixing it with yours as he emptied himself in you.
You whined when he pulled back, getting dressed after draining you, âyouâre leaving?â You asked, frowning.
âGotta save the world now, pretty,â he whispered, removing his webs from your wrists before pecking your lips and rushing out of the window, leaving you dazed.
Maybe making the poster wasnât such a bad idea after all.
THANK YOU FOR READING!
@jaeminvore @macaroonff @ajayke-reads @lunalovesstories @jayzdaze @deobitifull @celeste-hoon @mari-oclock @kpoprhia @ikeuizm @woniebae @lalalalawon @blessedcursd @skzenhalove @heesuncore @seuomo @kyurizeu @haechan-nahceah @tobiosbbyghorl @jezzebear @jaehoonii @itsgivingitalian @bunhoons @luvswonyoung @ma-riiii @addictedtohobi @heeliopheelia @haanigurl
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Š jaylaxies | tumblr
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the call pt 2 || platonic grid & gr63
summary: y/n finishes out the triple header strong after being called up to race for alpine
pairing: platonic!grid x george russell x rookie!driver!reader
fc & warnings: none and minor hate comments, bad language, and bad grammar from my end
a/n: i've never had this many people request a part 2 before so i hope y'all enjoy!! I'm going to keep her racing in the remainder of the season so keep an eye out for the rest.
part 1 | part 3
ďž. âż ŕ¨â¤ď¸ŕ§â âż . ďž
alpinef1team has made a post
liked by pierregasly, ynuser, yourbff, yoursibling, landonorris, oscarpiastri, and 876,234
alpinef1team: a point in the bag for pierre and another good drive for y/n đź
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user2: solid result for the team!!! y/n ate in her second race ever
user99: a team of losers tbh
ynuser: yay for points! letâs go pierregasly
pierregasly: we go again in brazil! points for both of us there đ
ynuser: everyone better make sure to bet on us đââď¸
yourbff: letâs go best friend(s)!!!!
ynuser: đŤśđť
georgerussell63: great stuff ynuser
ynuser: thanks georgie
user1: notice how he is always supporting herâŚ. is there something here?
user2: theyâve been friends since their karting days!! if you asked me back when they were in f2 if they were tg i wouldâve said yes bc they were kinda sus but now idk
user1: gonna go research the lore on their f2 days
âż
you let out a huff as you threw your padel racket on the ground and wiped the sweat from your brow, âgod dammit lance! how are you so good at this!?â
laughing lance shrugged, âmaybe you and george are just really bad!â
george shook his head, âno mate that canât be it!â
you took a long drink of your water as the pair continued to bicker. âdid you both see the weather for the weekend?â you asked changing the subject so theyâd stop.
âyeah, lots of rain it seems.â lance put his racket into his bag and looked up at you with concern. âhave you raced in the rain before?â
you shook your head, âno not really. i mean when i was karting yes but outside of that not really.â
âblimey y/n/n,â george ran a hand through his hair. âyouâve been going over those scenarios with your team right? thereâs a chance of some really heavy rain.â
âi have, i have. iâll be ok!â you assured them both with a smile but your friends looked anything but reassured.
âż
ynuser has posted to their story
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user2: jesus christ youâre so hot
user4: im obsessed with you holy f
georgerussell63: green is a good color on you. tho i think mercedes blue is better
ynuser: you mean alpine blue and pink
georgerussell63: nah iâd like to see you in my colors
ynuser: oh?
georgerussell63: you heard me
francocolapinto: đ
ynuser: and youâre coming to play with us next time yea?
francocolapinto: si bonita
yourbff: H O T
ynuser: thanks bb
ynuser: also i think george might be flirting in my dms rn?
yourbff: WHAT?!
ynuser: he said he wants to see me in his mercedes kit
yourbff: oh thatâs đ¤
landonorris: you look tall here
ynuser: thanks shortie đŠˇ
landonorris: uncalled for
user5: thanking your parents for doing it tbh
âż
holding in a yawn you turned to walk back to your garage after the brazilian national anthem. the 5am wake up for this âsuper sundayâ as they were calling it was catching up with you despite the butterflies swarming in your stomach. you had had the qualifying session of your life, which despite the cool confidence you played it off with in your interviews after, shocked you just as much as it shocked everyone else. you qualified in 4th. yes, you read that right, p4. something about the car came alive in the rain and you prayed it came alive again during the race but the rain was starting to pick up and it seemed like it was only going to get worse. youâd already seen several red flags in quali and would be lying to yourself if you said you werenât terrified that that was about to become you in the race.... especially with the threat of the entire field behind you, including max verstappen, wanting to push forward and push forward fast regardless of the consequences.
ây/n!â a hushed voice caught your attention. george had caught up to you and had a serious look on his face. âplease be careful out there,â he pleaded.
âyou too george,â you squeezed his arm lightly. âiâll see you on the podium, yeah?"
"yeah," george winked as you turned to head into the alpine garage.
your engineer, james, handed you your helmet as he went over a few more pieces of data. he was stressing over the litany of different plans the team had put together in the very short window between quali and now. the heavy rain and your heroic lap times caused just about everything your team had prepped to be turned upside down.
âright, right iâve got it james. plan a seems the most logical if i can keep everyone behind me.â you said as you pulled your helmet onto your head and fastened the strap.
things were about to get interesting.
âż
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liked by alpinef1team, yourbff, yoursibling, yourfriend, ynupdates and 435,725 others
f1: the race is stopped under the red flag for a crashâŚ.. and y/n y/l/n is our new race leader! after running a surprisingly strong p4 for the first half of the race, she took the lead when those in front pitted for new tyres. y/n is the only woman in history to lead a lap in a grand prix
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user1: not them calling her performance surprising đĽ´
user2: I KNOW THATS RIGHT!
user12: only gonna last a second. she canât even compete with the likes of verstappen
alpinef1team: @ everyone behind, y/n.. can we pretty please keep it this way?
yourbff: real tears are being shed rn this is monumental
user9: god is this amazing
mercedesamgf1: we love to see this historical moment! even if weâre coming to take it back đ
user11: literally the most amazing thing iâve seen all day
âż
you ripped another tear off from your helmet wishing it would make it easier to see but to your dismay, you still couldnât see a damn thing. the rain was coming down in buckets, your inters were worn, you were fighting the car even in the straight lines to keep it on the track and worst of all, you were scared shitless. you had no moment to even be happy about your current position in p1 because you were too busy trying not to send your car into the barrier.
âmax is 2 seconds behind you and gaining very quickly. gasly is 1.2 seconds behind max and leclerc is 0.9 behind pierre.â james updated you on the radio which sent you into a fit of rage.
âjames for fucks sake i donât care!!! stop giving me timing updates!! i canât see the road so i canât do anything about it!!!â you almost screamed. "i can't even pass half throttle!"
ârain is expected to lighten in about 10 laps,â james reported ignoring your outburst.
â10 LAPS?! how am i supposed to survive 10 laps?!?!?â as you yelled you felt the rear of your car start to slide causing you to need to quickly snap it back into place. âthere is so much standing water james - i canât keep doing this. the front straight is like a swimming pool!â
âyes you can, y/n. lock in and calm down. you only have a couple of laps left in this class of rain.â
âlock in? calm down!? and what if i crash this damn car first?!â turning off your radio you tried to take a few deep breaths while focusing on the road in front of you. you couldnât panic - that would only make matters worse. you had to stay calm. you knew your car, you knew to deviate off the racing line to avoid the slippery curbs in specific turns, and you knew that you had to make it through whether you wanted to or not. panicking was not going to help anyone but there was little way to explain just how scary it was on track at this current moment.
another snap of significant oversteer left you breathless and near tears. âjames im so serious - i need wets and even then i donât think theyâre going to be enough. there's standing water on every part of this track. i can't race like this on these tyres. please talk to fia. please we need a red flag.â
âpitting doesnât make sense right now, youâll come out in traffic and your race will be over.â
âi care more about making it out of this race alive than coming out in traffic.â
âunderstood.â
âż
âż
âthey couldnât have taken any longer with that red flag could they?â you snapped as you pulled your race suit down to your hips.
âno they really couldnât have! it was getting ridiculous out there.â pierre grabbed his water bottle, "driving couldn't have been more dangerous."
âalright you two! thats enough!" your team principal interrupted, looking very serious. "we have a real chance of keeping this double podium finish especially because george and lando pitted before this red flag and lost a lot of time," he explained. "y/n, youâre going to have to push, thereâs not much chance youâll be able to keep max behind you but weâve got to be fast enough to keep george, charles and lando behind pierre.â
right... keep 3 of the fastest drivers on the grid behind you both.. you were going to need a real stroke of luck.
âż
alpinef1team has made a post
liked by yourbff, yoursibling, ynupdates, rubendias, jackhughes, robmcelhenney, and 843,124 others
alpinef1team: THEY DID IT!!! Y/N AND PIERRE CROSS THE LINE AS P2 AND P3! HISTORY MADE
âż
"thats p2 y/n - great job! the entire team and i are so fcking proud of you."
"AHHH YES YESSSSSSS!!!!" you screamed into the radio, banging your hands against the steering wheel, "WE DID IT!! WE DID IT JAMES!!" the emotions hit you like a brick wall, and tears quickly began falling. "thank you all so much. thank you for this opportunity. thank you to the mechanics, to everyone back at the factory, to every single one of you. thank you for believing in me when no one else did."
"you're welcome, y/n. you deserve it. you deserve it all kid."
pierre rolled up next to you to drive the remainder of the cool down lap by your side. he waved excitedly and you waved back without hesitation - you both had achieved what felt like the impossible.
you were the first woman to ever stand up on the podium and you were the first woman to score points in formula 1, but you knew you certainly weren't going to be the last. if you would do anything with your remaining races, it would be to show the world just how much women belong in this sport.
you pulled into parc ferme and shut off your car as quickly as you could. you fumbled with your straps and when you finally got them off, pierre was standing above you with his hand held out. you smiled, grabbing his hand and allowing him to pull you out of the car. "we did it, p -" you said just loud enough for him to hear over the cheering.
"we did it, y/n/n." pierre replied and with that, you both turned and ran hand in hand to your team who was waiting with open arms to greet their heroes.
âż
ynuser has made a post
liked by georgerussell63, landonorris, pierregasly, lewishamilton, oscarpiastri, yourbff, and 943,124 others
ynuser: we did it 𩷠thank you to alpine for believing in me, thank you to pierre for being the best teammate a girl could ask for, thank you to my friends and family for supporting me through the ups and the downs and thank you to my fans -- i love you all so much
view all 999 comments
user1: i've never shed so many tears over a race before
yourbff: i feel like a proud parent rn
ynuser: thanks for never giving up on me bestie
georgerussell63: you're a force to be reckoned with y/n. congratulations on an impressive drive! today is your day đ¤
ynuser: mark your calendars! 11/3 is national y/n day
landonorris: speechless... i am so proud of you. if someone had to be up there besides me, i'm so glad it was you đ
ynuser: thank you lanny. only thing that would have made it better is if you were with me up there đŠˇ
user10: tea LOL
francisca.cgomes: i dont think i've ever been happier?? my two favorite people are on that podium?
ynuser: stop dont make me cry agAIN
pierregasly: thankful for you mon ami
ynuser: đ¤đŠˇ
lewishamilton: being a barrier breaker is never easy y/n but you are crushing it. i am proud to race with you!
ynuser: you have no idea how much this means to me lewis
user9: thank you from the bottom of my heart for continuing to prove everyone wrong
user95: nothing could have prepared me for 1) them running hand and hand to their team, 2) y/n crying tears of joy on the podium and 3) gr63 picking y/n up and twirling her around in parc ferme
user2: george and y/n were so cute it was actually sickening. did you see the way he fixed her hair after putting her down
user95: and how he wiped away her tears??? yeah i saw it đĽš
user2: i want them together so bad
user10: you are going down in the history books
ďž. âż ŕ¨â¤ď¸ŕ§â âż . ďž
a/n: thank you for reading!!! likes, feedback and reblogs are welcome!! massively appreciate all of the support on this little series. i am really enjoying it too
tag list from part 1: @yawn-zi @a-beaverhausen @nichmeddar @divagreymare @raizelchrysanderoctavius @ferakillia @stressed-cherry @sassyangel16 @mxdi0 @awritingtree @danielricciardoslut3 @dying-inside-but-its-classy @seasonswinter @rawr-123s-stuff @grussellsprout @belncaldern @ellelabelle @rafeyybabyy
ďž. âż ŕ¨â¤ď¸ŕ§â âż . ďž
disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction
Š norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform
#f1 fandom#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 imagine#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 x reader#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 smau#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x female reader#george russell smau#george russell social media au#george russell x you#george russell fluff#george russell x reader#george russell imagine#gr63 smau#gr63 x you#gr63 x reader#gr63 fic#gr63
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Ruin
Alexia Putellas x Pre-Teen!Reader
Jenni Hermoso x Pre-Teen!Reader
Summary: Your guardians fight for custody
You had dealt with lawyers before.
You had dealt with case workers before.
Nearly your whole life in the system meant you were familiar with both.
Seeing them never got easier as you sit outside the meeting room, hunched over as you stare at the phone battery that's rapidly depleting.
You'd plugged it in to charge last night but it hadn't.
The wire's been faulty for a while now, one of those chargers that you have to move to the right angle to make sure it works.
You suppose it must have moved in the night.
You can just about hear the low murmur of conversations if you strain your ears but you don't.
You don't want to hear what they're saying.
"Drink? Food?"
"I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
You turn away from your case worker, angling your body as far away as you can get without falling off your seat.
She'd been responsible for you for eleven years, right back to when you were a baby and your first set of parents had their rights terminated. You thought last year would be the last you would see of her.
"I'm fine," You insist.
"It's okay not to be."
"I know that. It still doesn't change the fact that I'm fine."
You both know you're lying.
She knows you well enough to not bring it up again, merely offering you a few of the hard boiled sweets from the reception desk.
"They won't decide anything without your input, you know."
"They're adults," You say dismissively," That's all they ever do."
"You're twelve now. Your wishes are taken into account."
"Only if it goes to court. Only in front of a judge. If they sign an agreement here and now, they don't have to talk to me about it."
Your caseworker looks like she wants to say something but a bang of a table has her stopping.
Jenni's voice in the meeting room is raised and Alexia's rises to meet it.
The fractures in the relationship were already there by the time you arrived. Small at first but steadily growing bigger and bigger.
You hadn't known it at the time but you know it now.
You had been adopted to salvage their relationship.
It's what a lot of people did. Have a child in the hope that it would bring the relationship together again.
It had worked, for a short while but the cracks hadn't healed. They'd simply been painted over for a little while. All it had taken was a little rock of the foundations, a little change in the norm.
They always came back and soon Alexia and Jenni were arguing where they thought you couldn't hear them and driving separately to practice.
Now, Jenni was moving to Mexico and the tender hooks they were on were failing.
You were hanging on a cliff and they were too busy arguing to notice your grip slipping, ready to plummet into the abyss below.
"You're not taking my daughter from me!"
You stand, unwilling to hear anymore.
"I'm going to the toilet."
It's a single stall, a door lock that you use as soon as you're inside.
You sit on the toilet lid, willing your shaking hands to stop as you clench them into fists. Your fingernails dig into the soft flesh until you're almost certain you've broken skin.
You hate this.
You hate the lawyers and their cool indifference towards you.
You hate your caseworker and her faux sympathy.
You hate Alexia and Jenni for putting you in this situation in the first place. You hate them for thinking a child would salvage an already broken relationship. You hate that they've made you their daughter. You hate that they've tied themselves into you in a way that you can't get away from.
Your phone dies, the music from your earphones cutting out instantly and you sigh, tugging them out of your ears and wrapping them around your phone.
They're an old pair, still wired and plugged in.
Jenni and Alexia have showered you in presents since the moment the adoption went through. You had a pair of Bluetooth ones but you've never used them, not since the presents stopped coming from them together and started coming separately.
They were always one upping each other.
If Alexia bought you Airpods, Jenni bought you a pair of Beats.
If Alexia bought you a Switch, Jenni bought you an XBox.
You blow out all your air noisily, the shuffling at the door alerting you to the fact that your caseworker is outside.
You flush the toilet to keep up appearances, washing your hands and stubbornly not looking in the mirror.
"They should be finishing up," She tells you and you glower.
"For now."
They're not finished up in the slightest and you slump in your seat.
There's no music to distract you from their raised voices, tension and anger building between them.
"And what about her training?! You'd take her away from all that? To what? Gallivant around in Mexico?!"
That's Alexia now, you'd recognise her anger anywhere.
You imagine she's standing now, palms flat on the desk as she gets as close to Jenni as possible. Her lawyer, a straight laced man in a fancy suit and a disinclination to children, probably sits back in his seat, arms spread in a 'how could you tear Alexia away from her child?' pose at the other lawyer.
"Mexico has pools, Alexia! They know how to swim! She can train there!"
That's Jenni.
She's still as angry as earlier, bubbling and boiling inside of her. She's probably standing up too, finger pointing towards Alexia in a brutal jab. Her lawyer pretends he likes kids, pretends to greet you warmly and act like her actually gives a shit about your feelings.
He doesn't and he doesn't even do a good job of pretending.
He's more condescending than anything, talking to you like you're five and don't understand why your guardians are fighting.
"And you'd have her make new friends? Put her in a new swimming club? Her life is here!"
"No, Alexia, your life is here!"
You've never felt more weightless than you were in the pool, just floating around on your back as the water laps at your skin.
You're the fastest swimmer in the region for your age group. Especially in long distance.
Your coaches say you have the stamina.
You think it's because you want to be in the water for as long as possible.
It comes easy to you, mindless, repetitive.
You like to do things you're good at.
The door swings open, slamming against the wall and you sigh.
The yelling has stopped.
Neither Alexia nor Jenni want to make a scene in public.
The meeting room is a free-for-all but outside they can pretend to be civil. Everyone will pretend they didn't hear them at each other's throats a few moments ago.
You stand, plugging in your earphones even though your phone is dead.
You've found that neither of them want to talk to you if you've got your earphones in.
"Say goodbye to your mother, y/n," Alexia says, already strolling over to wait for you by the door.
Your eyes linger on her before they flick to Jenni.
You shove your hands into your pocket and mutter," Bye."
She's still looking at Alexia too, eyes narrowed in anger before they softens a fraction as she turns to you.
Her hand rests on your shoulder, thumb rubbing ever so slightly.
"I'll see you tomorrow, yeah? You've got that competition."
"Yeah, I do."
"I'll be cheering."
You manage a weak smile.
Alexia and Jenni will be on opposite ends of the room, pretending that the other doesn't exist.
"I love you," Jenni says and you sigh.
"Yeah."
Alexia is waiting by the door, impatiently, foot tapping. When you join her, she starts off again, down the stairs and to the car parked up front.
"Not sitting in the front with me?" She tries to tease as you slip into the seat behind her but you're in no mood," I'll let you choose the music."
You hold up your dead phone, earphones in and her small smile turns into a frown.
"Well, if you're sure..."
"I'm sure."
"So..." Alexia drums her fingers on the steering wheel," That competition tomorrow...You excited?"
You stare out the window. "I guess."
You're in no mood to talk, clearly, so Alexia settles on looking back at you through the rear view mirror periodically.
"Don't worry," She tells you," This will all get sorted out soon."
You wish it hadn't happened in the first place.
You with you had never met them.
#woso x reader#alexia putellas x reader#alexia putellas#jenni hermoso x reader#jenni hermoso#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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romeo meets juliet â luke castellan x reader : chess can be played in many different situations.Â
tags : 18+!! loser!luke (hes actually such a loser im sorry), college setting, brothers best friend!luke, mutual pining, religious imagery(?), classic literature references, body worship, smut, luke is pathetically in loveÂ
a/n : save me nerdy boy with sad eyes save me
luke didnât acknowledge your existence at first, he stuck to himself, from his classes, to his dorm, maybe even the lunchroom if his roomate, your brother, convinced him to come rather than just making all of his meals in the dorm. luke and your brother were complete opposites, luke was studying literature, mostly classic, he didnât speak to many people unless forced toâ and your brother was studying engineering, which also basically required him to join a frat, and he spoke to nearly everyone with cockiness prominent in his tone.Â
one thing they did have in common, though, was chess.Â
now, your brother could never tell anyone, especially not his frat brothers, that he played chess, let alone was in the universityâs chess clubâ but he felt pity for luke, most of the time luke played by himself, which was somehow equally as frustrating as having to play against someone else.Â
the only people that knew about your brother playing chess was luke, the chess club, and you.Â
luke remembers the first time you came trotting in to the dorm, complaining to your brother about some argument you had with your parents about how your friends are distracting you from your studies. your brother only rolls his eyes, barely listening to your non - stop whining about how itâs ridiculous, âi meanâ youâre the one in a frat! why arenât they mad at you?âÂ
âbecause i actually do my work,â he mumbles, and luke breathes out in a silent laugh, moving a piece on his chess board.Â
âyouâre in engineering, you donât even have any actual work,â you frown, and albeit the fact that youâre wrong, youâre still confident in what you said.Â
âare you stuâ whatever,â your brother waves you off, deciding to change the subject when he motions to luke, the boy in a nirvana t-shirt, currently moving to a different side of the chess board as he plays against himself, âthis is luke, my roommate, obviously.âÂ
luke immediately freezes, fingers curling around the chess piece he was adjusting to moveâ his eyes are wide, and theyâre moving to look at you, only to immediately flicker to some other part of the room when they meet your expectant gaze. since he wonât speak first, you pick up the slack, âhey, luke.âÂ
your brother notices how luke looks like a scared, lost puppy even by the slightest implication of having to speak to a woman, let alone be perceived by one, so he moves to whisper in your ear, âheâs like, deathly afraid of women, iâve never seen him speak to one, ever.âÂ
and you from that you donât expect a response from luke, until he mumbles a short, âhi.âÂ
thatâs when your head tilts, noticing the way his curls fall over his brows messily, like he doesnât pay attention to styling it, or maybe itâs on purpose, maybe he pays too much attention to styling it. the way he wore something so simple, yet so telling about himself, the way he awkwardly places the chess piece back on the board on the spot he wanted to. he assumes the conversation is over, so he moves to the opposite side of the board to make a move against his own.Â
âare you in the chess club?â you take a step closer, and he perks up, hand ghosting over the piece once more.Â
luke doesnât say anything, his lips twitch around words that donât come out. your brother speaks in his place, âheâs the president, heâs a fucking grandmaster.â
luke just awkwardly laughs, moving his hand to scratch at the back of his neck, eyes moving from the board to you, then to your brother, âiâm not likeâ actually the president,â another awkward, short chuckle, âi justâ like.. um.. play a lot, i guess.âÂ
âyou are the president, dude,â your brother corrects, being insufferable as he always is.Â
but luke puts up with it, then you ask another question, âwhat do you major in?âÂ
âliterature,â luke responds for himself this time, finally able to move his hand to make a proper move on the chess board, before mumbling, âmostly classic.âÂ
âyouâre kidding, i am too, how have i not seen you before?âÂ
lukeâs eyes finally meet yours, now, pausing on your eyes, then resuming down the shape of your face, memorizing each feature, the curve of your lashes, the shape of your lipsâ he swallows thickly.Â
âi justâ sit in the back.. and go to my dormâ as soon as class ends,â thereâs that awkward, short chuckle again.Â
âhave you finished the paper?âÂ
luke nods, and thatâs when your brother finally gets a bright idea.Â
âyou should help her, luke, with the work.âÂ
âđâËâšâĄ
thatâs how it all started, with a simple suggestion, thatâs when you came to the dorm more often, when he began to notice that you were actually in his classes, and when you realized he had an awful staring problem. he thought he was slick with it too, letting his eyes move around the room for a mere.. twenty seconds before they finally snap to you, and from there, they stay, until you finally return the gaze and heâs immediately nervously looking away.Â
he hardly speaks to you, unless your brother urges him to, and heâs always avoiding looking at you when he speaks, stumbling over words, pausing in sentences to catch his losing breath. he was a complete and utter loser, terrible when it came to socializing, even worse when itâs with girls. with you, it somehow seemed to worsen.Â
âam i the first girl youâve ever talked to?â you ask once, far too blunt for your own liking, you didnât mean to really say it, it kind of just came out when seeing how much his leg bounced under the table with nervousness, nearly sweating himself to death under your gaze.Â
sweat beads down his temple when his eyes flutter up to meet yours, moving from the romeo and juliet book in his hands. isnât it so ironic that he had just gotten done reading the scene in which romeo says, âdid my heart love till now? forswear it, sight! for i ne'er saw true beauty till this night,â when seeing juliet for the first time? truly, it isnât the first time he saw you, but itâs night, and you are beautiful. truly, utterly, âbeautiful.âÂ
âwhat?âÂ
oh, oh my god. saliva bubbles in his mouth, sour saliva, and he gulps it down, hoping it would somehow be a form of poison that would wake him from this nightmare. does he say what he meant? that he was thinking out loud? that he thinks youâre beautiful? or should he deny it? deny. he bursts into awkward laughs, âwhatâ what do you meanâ i.. i didnât even say anything.. ha, haha.âÂ
âwhy are you acting like that?â your brows furrow.Â
âlike what?âÂ
âlike youâre hiding something.âÂ
his breathing only shakes anymore, âiâm not hiding anything.. thatâs likeâ a wild accusation.âÂ
âitâs not an accusation, iâm just saying,â you frown at him.Â
his adamâs apple bobs with another swallow, âokay but likeââÂ
âwhy are you harassing him?â your brother sighs, tired how much you press luke.Â
âiâm notâ whatever, i was asking youâ am i the first girl youâve ever spoken to?âÂ
your brother barks out a laugh, and lukeâs eyes fall back down to the book in his hands. did not having proper conversations with women make him any less? romeo grabbed julietâs hand once, and the first words he uttered to her was a promise to redeem himself if his hand was too unworthy to be touching her holy one. parallels sear in his mind, and he just mumbles a, ânot really.âÂ
he has spoken to women before, sure, small greetings, maybe even the slightest indulgence of conversationâ but luke keeps to himself, and to be honest, he was a man used to running from women, as he did from his mother. he grew up being afraid of women, well, afraid isnât the proper word, intimidated is better, and he just decided to avoid them as much as possible.Â
though, no matter how much he tries to avoid you, youâre always there, in his sight, in his mind. maybe itâs a disgrace, like romeo holding julietâs hand, for him to even be thinking of you, looking at youâ you were a goddess that offered a man on his knees the slightest bit of your grace, and now he was hooked.Â
it was pathetic, really, how he anticipated every time he suspected you would be over, how his eyes always found their way to you in class, how he made sure to purposefully walk past you in the lunchroom on the days he went, which was oddly more now.Â
a man who is still a virgin to adore a girl far too good for him, he is hopeless.Â
âitâs okay if i am,â you adjust, okay, there might be a little hope, âanyway, how do you like romeo and juliet?âÂ
âitâs pretty niceââ he notices the way your face perks up in shock, âkind of, i donât know.âÂ
âi think itâs a bore, iâm sure the movie is much better.âÂ
âwe should watch the movieâ um.. together, sometime.âÂ
âđâËâšâĄ
if luke was being completely honest with himself, he didnât entirely mean to say it, and as soon as you left the dorm, he nearly doubled over with shock at his own words, and even more shock at the fact that you agreed. not only did you agree, you actually came, and it was just you and him. your brother was off at some frat party, again, and he had left luke completely alone with you, even when luke begged him not to.Â
âyouâre kidding, dude, iâm likeâ horrified of her,â luke frowns at your brother.Â
âyou need exposure therapy, or some shit, call me your therapist.âÂ
âyouâre a shit therapist,â luke sighs, rubbing his temples.Â
âand you need to grow some balls.âÂ
so, your brother left him, and now lukeâs awkwardly standing with you at his door - step, staring at him expectantly, his lips twitch around so many possible words, possible sentences, and all that comes out is, âhey.âÂ
heâs been staring for you for at least a minute, and all he can say is hey. your lips curve to an amused smile, âhi, luke.âÂ
âumâ you can come in, if you.. want, âcourse.â he moves out the way to let you in, watching you step past him so he can close the door.Â
âi wouldnât be here if i didnât want to,â you remark as if itâs the obvious, mostly because it is.Â
when romeo stood underneath julietâs balcony, he praised how captivating she was, considers her as glorious as an angel, a winged messenger above his head. in his own words :Â
âone who makes mortals fall onto their backs to gaze up in awe as the angel strides across the clouds and sails through the air.â
consider luke on his back now, staring up at the stars in your eyes, the halo that shines above your head, the wings that flap with every stride you makeâ a goddess, an angel, venus incarnate, right before his eyes, staring at him like he had something deeply wrong with him. wait. he blinks a few times, and his eyes refocus onto your confused face.Â
âare you okay, luke?âÂ
he quickly clears his throat, âyeah, yeahâ duh, âcourse i am, uh.. we should,â he moves to the table in which his laptop was on, âwatch the movie, yeah? âts on my.. laptop, if you donât mind.âÂ
âi donât, at all,â you move to sit next to him on the couch in front of the table, watching the veins in his hands pulse, palms sweaty when he moves to open his laptop, shifting a few tabs and pressing a few keys until he mumbles a small okay and presses the space button.Â
moaning. thatâs all you hear, the sound of skin slapping, ah ahâ oh fuck mmph youâre so bâ luke slams the laptop shut.Â
dear god, save him now.Â
he canât even bring himself to look at you, the sweat on his palms only worsens and spreads onto the top of the laptop as he smoothes his hands across it, replaying the scene a million times in his mind. to his surprise, you giggle, âyou watch porn?âÂ
heâs quick to awkwardly scoff out a short laugh, âyeahâ i mean, everyone does.. but like.. i donât watch itâ that much.âÂ
your finger moves to run along the vein on his arm, feeling him shudder under your touch, yet he doesnât want you to stop, even the slightest touch makes his dick twitch in his pants, âare you a virgin, luke?âÂ
he inhales sharply, ây-yeah..âÂ
âdo you want to have sex?â you lean the tiniest bit closer.Â
he pauses, âyes.. of courseââÂ
âwith me?âÂ
âyes.â he responds quick, too fucking quick, it mustâve been at most a second after you said it for him to respond. the truth stings his tongue, to finally be able to say it out loud, how much he had fantasized about you in the late of night, even sneaking off to the bathrooms so his hand can dip underneath his waistband when he thinks about the times youâve worn a tight shirt that frames your tits far too well.Â
but it was wrong, wasnât it? you were a goddess, on a pedestal, and he was merely just a man, staring up at your statue in the hopes that you would notice him one day. forbidden, possibly, but all those thoughts leave his mind when his eyes move from the finger tracing up his bicep to your neck, then your lips, then your eyes.Â
âplease tell me youâve kissed before.âÂ
âyeah.. yeahâ i have,â a playground kiss counts, right?
it seems to when your lips fall against his own, the kiss was so gentle, until he dared to kiss you back, then it got hungry, mostly on his end. he kissed you like a starving man, nearly devouring you but at the same time, being horrified to. your tongue finds itâs way into his mouth, and to your surprise, he whimpers against your lips.
his hands are hesitant, unsure of where to go, does he touch your arm? your shoulder? your waist? he doesnât want to push anything, so the waist seems far too much, his hands awkwardly place themselves on your arm, in a very weird position.Â
âhave you touched a girl before?âÂ
his lips are flushed from the kiss, eyes glazing over the position of his hands, and he quickly moves them off, âsorryâ well, i just.. um.. didnât want to push anything.âÂ
âyou can,â you reassure, but his hands still hesitate, the flesh of a goddess, to be touched by someone so inexperienced. was he really worth it? any of it? to even be in your presence was a blessing, and it was still taking him forever to register the fact that you had actually kissed him, prayers passed through your lips into his.Â
âare you sure?âÂ
ââcourse i am.âÂ
it still took luke some getting used to, having you straddle his lap, you knew so much, it felt like more than just an honor to have you so close to him. his eyes flicked from your own to your lips, then to your tits, the low v - cut showing off your cleavage perfectly. and he looked like a complete deer in headlights, staring at the flesh pushed together between the window of clothing. you smile at his lack of self control, feeling the way his dick throbs underneath his pants, right against your ass, âyou can touch them.âÂ
âwhaâ nono, âts okayâ i just..â he trails off, sweaty palms moving past you to slide across his knees.Â
âreally, luke, you canâ why donât i just..â you move to take off your shirt, his eyes immediately catching on to the lace of your bra, the way your tits are practically spilling out of it, all until you take off your bra as well and they immediately fall out.Â
his hand twitches around nothing, desperately wondering what it must feel like to have your flesh underneath his palm, fingers curling around the plush of it. it seems you mustâve heard his prayers when you move to take his hands, pulling them back to press against your tits.Â
soft, thatâs his first thought, sweat sticks to your skin when his fingers curve around the flesh, gripping it ever so gently. praises spill from his lips almost immediately, thoughts he had since the day he saw you, finally being spoken, âyâre beautifulâ fuck, iâve always.. always wanted toâ do this..âÂ
you smile so sweet at him, nectar nearly drips off your teeth, âcan i ride you, luke?âÂ
his eyes finally meet yours, brows furrowing for a mere second, âhuhâ oh, oh.. yeah, âcourse you can.âÂ
you didnât expect him to have a big, no matter how cruel that sounds, you had heard rumors of nerds with big dicks, but sought to never believe it until you saw it, and good fucking lord you saw it. as soon as his dick springs out from the pants and boxers you were tugging down, lukeâs hands mindlessly moved to your waist, your eyes widen.Â
no fucking way. he has to be.. six? seven inches, at least. slightly girthy too, he wasnât all just length, and precum was beading from his red tip. he immediately inhales sharply when your fingers graze his dick, nervous under your gaze, âis it too smallâ i.. iâm sorryââÂ
âtoo small?â you scoff playfully at his scared expression, worried of what you think, âthis might be the biggest dick iâve ever seen, luke.âÂ
âthatâsâ a good thing.. right?âÂ
âobviously, god, it better fit,â this is the first time youâve ever been concerned about whether or not a dick will fit, luke stiffens when you spit on your palm, pressing it to his dick and wettening it as you jerk him off, his response is immediate, carefully gripping at your skin and pressing his lips together to muffle his whimpers.Â
luke had jerked of many, many times, but it never felt as good as this.Â
âfuckââ he grunts out, already far too close from just a simple hand movements.Â
you immediately stop, picking up on his nearing orgasm from the way his hips kept bucking up into your hands, pathetic whines slipping past his lips, but it was just so cute. the cutest thing, though, was his face when he got the first look at your vagina, he looked like a man staring at a piece of art he had admired. and this was art, sex was, you were, everything about you, it felt so sacred.Â
his lashes flutter when you take his hand, guiding it to your sopping cunt, allowing him to feel the wetness that was nearly pouring from you. like nectar from a fountain, it coated his fingertips when he touched you, his eyes focused onto your face, making sure that he was doing it right. he notices the way you gasp when his fingertips brush against your clit, so he presses against it again, and again.Â
he follows everything he has seen in pornos, spreading your folds, fingers grazing past your entrance, rubbing your clitâ but heâs lost when you wave him off before he can finger you to prep you for his dick, wasnât that something people did? âbut donât youâŚâÂ
âitâll fit,â you mumble back, relying on how wet you are to make it easier.Â
he watches the way your jaw falls when you move to press his tip against your entrance, allowing the tip to push into you and itâs already too big. his eyes widen at the feeling of your walls clenching around his tip, unable to hold back the noises that slip from his own lips.Â
âyouâre likeâ the.. the girl of my drâ fuckâ dreams,â luke hushed out between his mess of moans and grunts, he wondered if romeo ever felt this way when he kissed juliet for the first time, the sort of electric rush that riddled his bones, it felt unreal. you were a dream incarnate, one luke was always haunted with, the woman that would show up when his eyes would close at night, and now you were on his lap, sinking down on his dick.Â
âam i? really?â you question, inhaling sharply when you finally reach the base of his cock. for some odd reason, you didnât believe you were all he was putting you up to be, and that made him sickâ how could you think of yourself as any less? you were perfect, a vision, to be fair, luke would adore you even if you were an enemy, just like romeo and juliet.Â
he would stand at your balcony, stare at you from across the ballroom, kiss your knuckles, kiss youâ he would do it all. he might even drink poison just to spend eternity with you.Â
âyes, yesâ are you.. kidding? mmph.. fuckâ youâre like.. a fuckinâ goddess,â it comes out like a prayer, as if he was on his knees at your altar, kissing your legs, and whispering worshipping words.Â
to nobodyâs surprise, luke doesnât last long at all when youâre bouncing on his cock, no matter how much he tried to distract himself from his throbbing cock by pawing at your tits, or moving to kiss you, his orgasm was just too close. ââm gâna.. please.. gâna cum.. mmphh.. fuck!âÂ
when he does cum, you had pulled off him, jerking him off, and heâs practically writhing, a whimpering and damn near crying mess. and once heâs helped you to your orgasm as well, youâre falling into his arms, finding a safe - haven in how he smells like old books, mint, and cheap cologne.Â
two star crossed lovers, one capulet, one montague.Â
âthese violent delights have violent ends and in their triumph die, like fire and powder. which, as they kiss, consume.â â romeo and juliet, act two, scene six.
#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan imagine#luke castellan pjo#luke castellan#luke castellan oneshot#luke castellan x you#luke castellan smut#pjo luke#charlie bushnell imagine#charlie bushnell x reader#charlie bushnell#loser!luke
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đŹđŠđŤđ˘đ§đ đđŤđđđ¤ | angus tully x reader (series finale)
read đđ˘đ§đ§đđŤ đŠđđŤđđ˛ and đđĽđĽ đ§đ˘đ đĄđđđŤ first!
đŹđŽđŚđŚđđŤđ˛ | angus has been waiting to see you again, but the more feelings get involved, the more complicated your affair becomes.
đ°đ¨đŤđ đđ¨đŽđ§đ | 7k
đ°đđŤđ§đ˘đ§đ đŹ | SMUT (18+ only!!), mega angst but also fluff too, infidelity, boring old people parties, reader is still emotionally constipated and angus still has a breeding kink, but that's honestly it it's just a bunch of emotions so strap in folks!
Angus was pretty sure he broke some kind of record, with how quickly he ran back to his room after talking to you on the payphone.
He was sure that was exactly what you were picturing him doingâ heâd made it pretty clear what heâd do once you hung up, and youâd made it pretty difficult to do anything else with the way you were talking. Youâd been winding him up on purpose, of course; so yes, you could easily imagine him making a mad dash to his room and slamming the doorâ if you really ever thought about him outside of those phone calls.
That was the thing Angus couldnât figure out about you. Well, there were probably a lot of other things than that, but it was the quandary he spent the most time pondering: does she think about me?
Whenever he mustered the courage to ask you something to that effect, you would either change the subject or give a half-answer. Something about how you had a dream about him the other night or how your parents asked about himâ never what he was really asking.
But, frankly, at that moment as he shut his dorm room door and jumped into bed, whether or not you thought about him much was not as pertinent an issue. Right then, all he could think about was getting his hand around his raging boner; his mind was just playing everything youâd said to him over the phone on repeat.
Iâm touching myself right now, youâd whispered in a sultry voice, Iâm so wet, Angusâ fuck, Iâm so wetâŚ
Heâd never had to work so hard to keep a straight face on the phone before⌠he figured if anyone was really looking, theyâd notice how red he was turning or how he kept shifting uncomfortably. And he told you just as much, which of course only encouraged you. Donât want them to know, huh? youâd taunted. Donât want the other boys to find out youâre listening to me get off?
And no, he didnâtâ you were such a precious thing, the boys here didnât even deserve to imagine youâ but when you offered to stop if it was too distracting, he only found himself shakily begging for more.
As he quickly opened his khaki pants and gripping his cock, he hissed through his teeth; his ego could barely take all youâd said about that cock, about how thick and âperfectâ (you used that exact word, perfect, and he thought he might float) it was, about how you wished you could come around it right then instead of your fingers.
âItâs all yours,â he mumbled to himself, under his breath, not even really noticing he was saying it aloud. âYou want it, baby? Itâs all fucking yours.â
He groaned as he stroked himself, the precum that had been leaking from his tip for a while making everything even easier. Shutting his eyes tight, he pictured you, like he always did: all of you, everything, anything he could remember.
You ever think about me? youâd asked him over the phoneâ and heâd blurted out his always before he even realized you meant while he was getting off. It was still true, but more specific than necessary. He craved to hear you say it: I think about you too. But he didnât ask, and you just went back to moaning while you rubbed your clitâ which, apparently, was already swollen and throbbingâ and, well, he wasnât strong enough to interrupt that.
âFuck,â he grunted, deep in the back of his throat, finally letting his pace pick up until his hand was a blur: after all that anticipation and all that waiting, there was no use trying to hold back now. It wasnât like you were here to worry about him coming too fast, even though youâd still maintained you found it endearing when it happened.
He repeated your voice in his head, the moment that had made him worry he would blow his load in his trousers before he could even get off the phone and back to his room: Iâm gonna come for you, youâd warned him in the most beautiful moaning voice, Angusâ I want you so bad, oh godâ Iâm gonna come for you, fuckâŚ
His lip caught between his teeth, his hips rocked up into his own palm. âYes, fuck, baby,â he panted, âIâ fuck!â
He tried to conjure in his mind how it had felt to come inside you, but he knew even his vivid imagination could never really capture the feeling; nothing could even come close. Still, remembering it and letting himself indulge in his strangest fantasies for just a moment sent him over the edge. His face flushed suddenly as he came in long, heavy pulses, the back of his free hand falling over his open mouth yet doing little to suppress his moans.
It was intenseâ it was certainly better than his orgasms usually were when brought on by himselfâ but it only satisfied him for a moment. The moment he was finished, with a deep breath in and his hips relaxing back down onto the mattress, he wanted moreâ he wanted you.
His heavy eyes glanced to the side, trying to remember what it felt like to lie next to you. Heâd never felt lonely after jerking off before he met you; now getting off seemed to bring a new wave of heartbreak each time.
When he shook off the thought and looked down at himself, he frowned as he realized heâd ruined his own shirt doing thatâ not that he could fully bring himself to regret it.
No, his regrets only really began a few weeks later, when the nagging loneliness in the back of his mind finally got the better of him.
It was the middle of the night when he wrote it, after he woke up from a dream of you that he just couldnât shake from his mind. After checking that his roommate was fast asleep, Angus carefully slipped out of bed and tip-toed to the desk, and pulling out a box of cards and envelopes from one of the drawers. (He thought heâd never use them when his mom sent them with him at the beginning of the year, but a lot had changed since then.)
Something about the ungodly hour made him more honestâ or maybe just more shameless. He wrote a frantic ramble, everything heâd wanted to say to you that heâd never had the courage to blurt out over the phone; all the feelings heâd felt since that incredible night in the backseat of your car, which heâd assumed would fade⌠which heâd tried to convince himself would fade.
Unfortunately, even the adrenaline of writing down the thoughts of you heâd been poring over for over a month wasnât enough to overpower exhaustion: he awoke the next morning slumped over the desk, the pen still uncapped and fallen a few inches from his hand, the letter left folded open.
He awoke to the sound of someoneâs door shutting down the hall, specifically; jumping and blinking quickly, he looked at the windowâ it was morning, though still quite earlyâ and then at his roommate who was, thank god, still asleep.
Angus looked back at the letter in front of him, only making out a few words in his brief glance, before his cheeks began to heat up and he quickly folded it shut. As more footsteps moved through the hall, the boy in the bed nearby stirred and grumbled to himself, and Angus quickly snatched up the letter and shoved it in his book bag before he was caught red-handed.
Ironically, that little commotion was what actually got the other boyâs attention. âWhat are you doing at the desk?â he asked groggily, rubbing one of his eyes with the back of his palm.
âOh, I, uhâ I had to do some late night cramming,â Angus explained nervously, âthat big Geography test coming up and allâŚâ
The half-awake boy seemed to notice for a moment that the story didnât really make sense, on account of the empty desk, but he simply shrugged and tossed his blanket aside to get up as well.
For the rest of the day, Angus couldnât think straightâ and not just because of his mediocre rest and achy back from the absolutely terrible sleep posture heâd had. He couldnât stop thinking about the letter, even if he honestly couldnât remember for certain everything heâd said⌠he couldnât stop wondering if he should send it to you. He almost didnât want to read it again firstâ he wanted you to read it in its most authentic state, he wanted to mail it before he chickened out just like he had when you said you two could just stay casual. Even if it made his heart race and his palms especially clammy, Angus decided in the middle of that goddamned Geography test that he was going to mail that letter tonight after dinner: he was finally just going to man up and tell you.
Of course, something went horribly wrong along the way: he made a fatal mistake. Looking back on it, he couldnât tell for certain if his mistake was falling for you in the first place, or writing the infamous letter, or shoulder-checking Kountze without holding on tight enough to his bag.
The argument that happened beforehand was petty and forgettable, even if it gathered a small crowd of Kountzeâs friends, but it ended with Angus trying to walk away a tad⌠aggressively, and with Kountze grabbing him by the strap of his bag which not only knocked Angus off-balance but spilled the contents onto the floor of the dormâs shared room.
Everyone saw the books and papers hit the ground; everyone saw the off-white cardstock land right on top. Angus reached for the letter quickly, but Kountze beat him there, and held it back with a snicker.
âWell, well,â Kountze tutted proudly, âwhatâs this?â
âH-hey, donât read that,â Angus warned, hoping the seriousness of his tone would somehow affect the other boyâ but, obviously, it did not. Kountze started to open it and Angus instantly made a dive for it, only to be stopped by three other students who apparently were curious as well about the letter. âDonât fucking read that!â Angus demanded.
âOh god, itâs to a girl!â he realized. âDo you have a girlfriend, Tully?â
âI swear to god, Kountze, if you fucking read thatââ
âI miss you,â Kountze began to read aloud as Angus thrashed around to try to stop him, âI miss you so much I donât even know what to say.â
The boys holding Angus back were enraptured as Kountze read the letter; âDo you guys pay this much attention in class?â he mocked them, though they were ignoring him completely as they waited for the other boy to keep reading.
âI feel like I canât breathe without youâ aw, Tully, youâre a poet,â Kountze mocked with a smile. Angusâ heart raced as he remembered what part of the letter came next. âNot a day goes by where I donât think about you and your smileâ Jesus, this is some really sappy shitâ or what itâs like talking with you for hours, or how it feelsââ
He stopped, and Angus froze, and after a moment the group of boys started demanding the conclusion. âWhatâ what does it say?!â âRead it, Kountze!â
âHow it feels to be inside you,â Kountze continued with wide eyes, staring at Angusâ bright red face as the other boys began to react loudly.
Angus renewed his struggle against the kids holding him back, but even though he was taller than them, he was severely outnumbered. âStopâ thatâs personal!â Angus demanded to no avail.
âI donât know how Iâm supposed to go back to my hand after having you,â Kountze continued with a laugh. âFrom what I hear from your roommate, Tully, your hand is treating you just fine.â
âShut up,â Angus hissed, but his words had lost their bite as his humiliation grew.
âI shouldâve told you before I leftââ he started, but finally Angus found some new strength within himself to shake off the boys holding him back: he dove at Kountze and took him down, scrambling to snatch the card away. He was going to be satisfied with just that, but of course Kountze still had to open his mouth, even when Angus had him pinned. âJesus, Tully,â he scoffed, âhow ugly is this chick that you got her to sleep with you?â
Angus brought a fist swiftly down to Kountzeâs nose, who groaned in pain and held his face as Angus got up and ran away. The other boys let him pass, thankfully, and Angus wasted no time getting to his room and slamming the door behind him.
Defiantly wiping a tear from his cheek, Angus took a quick look at the letterâ wrinkled, stained and scuffed from the fight with Kountzeâ and crumpled it up, tossing it into his wastebasket before throwing himself onto his bed and hiding his head under the pillow.
He was stupid to even write it, let alone consider sending it; it was no use, you obviously didnât feel the same way about him that he did about you. You were the one who said it should just be what it wasâ a fling. But Angus felt like heâd been flung directly into hell, the way it tore into his chest to imagine you didnât really want him.
Even if he never read the letter again that day, he remembered how it endedâ and it was the part he couldnât get out of his mind even when he wanted more than anything to forget it all.
Is this what love feels like?
//
It reminded you a lot of that dinner over Christmas break, except somehow, it seemed like he was staring at you even more. Shouldnât he have gotten that out of his system a bit by now?
But then again, maybe you shouldâve been more used to it, since it had been over an hour of picking away at this quail dinner, and heâd barely taken his eyes off of you. Something about him looked different; it was basically impossible that he couldâve visibly aged in just a couple months, and yet he seemed like he was carrying just a bit more age on those thin shoulders. Maybe it was just the slight five-o-clock shadow over his jawâ but, no, there was a different look in his eyes, tooâ
Realizing you were, in fact, staring back at him, you quickly snapped your gaze back down to your plate.
Youâd been wanting a chance to talk to him before this dinner, to hopefully prevent exactly this issue, but once the dinner ended you found yourself avoiding him. Of course you werenât ready to talk to himâ of course you had a million thoughts in your head and half of them didnât even make sense.
For once, you actually tried to talk to all of your parentsâ snooty friends, repeating the same answers over and over about how you were going to graduate school in the fall and how you were looking forward to your familyâs Paris trip in the summer and all that jazz. It was worth it to keep Angus off your back for a moment, even if you could still feel his eyes boring into said back from time to time.
Midway through a mind-numbingly boring conversation (if something so one-sided could be called a conversation) with the Gordons about renovations theyâd done on their summer house, you glanced around the room over your shoulder and noticed that Angus was apparently absent. His parents were still there, sitting on a couchâ that is, his mom and stepdadâ so he couldnât be far, but out of view he was far enough. Figuring heâd gone to the kitchen or the restroom, you figured it was the perfect time to disappear into the downstairs bedroom and, hopefully, hide out for the rest of the party. Excusing yourself quickly, you made a polite dash for the other end of the room.
And yet, somehow, he appeared out of thin air; as you turned down the hallway, only a dim lamp on an antique credenza lighting your way, you heard Angusâ hushed voice behind you. He laid his hand on your shoulder, and the moment you turned to face him, he was on youâ his weight pressed you into the wall and you felt trapped in a way that was annoyingly pleasant.
âGod, I missed you,â he breathed, kissing you hard and sudden; you whimpered a little, nearly melting into it, before you pushed him back at his shoulders.
âA-Angus, wait,â you sighed. âYou, um⌠you didnât call for a while.â
âOh,â he mumbled, âum, Iâm sorryâ I just got busy with midterms and stuffâ but I really wanted to!â
He moved like he was about to kiss you again, but you kept your hand on his chest to keep him away. âI wanted to tell youâŚâ you trailed off.
âTell me what?â
âYou remember Brian Stevenson?âÂ
âOhâ um, yeah, I guess so,â Angus frowned a little, clearly confused by what seemed like a non sequitur. âI used to go over to his house when I was little, although it was just to play with his little brother, but⌠yeah, I remember him.â
âIâve been sorta, yâknow⌠going with him,â you explained, hesitantly meeting Angusâ gaze just in time to see the most terrible sadness cover his face.
âO-oh,â he choked out, quickly stepping back from you and shoving his hands in his pockets.
âYeahâŚâ you mumbled, twisting your loafer-clad foot on the carpet nervously. âItâs just, you know, he asked me out a couple weeks ago, and ever since thenââ
âSo is he, like, your boyfriend?â Angus pressed. You nodded. He looked away. âRightâ thatâs⌠cool. Thatâs cool.â
You bit your lip slightly, hating that he wouldnât look at you all of a sudden. âAngus, itâs just that, you know, we saidââ
âRight,â he interrupted sharply. âRight, I remember what we saidâ what you said, that we werenâtâ you know. That it wasnât anything.â
âI didnât say thatââ you tried to correct him.
âYou said you were mine,â he added suddenly, making your eyes widen. âDid you even mean that?â
âIâ Angus, come on,â you laughed nervously. âThatâs⌠thatâs just something people sayâŚâ
He scoffed, and looked to the side as he pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek; contempt looked sort of good on him, you thought, except that it was directed at you. He was trying to hide it, but his eyes were watering.
âIâm sorry,â you began but he cut you off right away.
âNo, donât do that,â he shook his head quickly, crossing his arms and staring down at the floor. âDonât lie to me anymore.â
âNoâ I really am,â you tried to assure.
âHey, itâs fine,â he insisted sharply. âItâsâ you know, it is what it is. It was just one of those things.â
âIf itâs fine, then look at me,â you pleaded. He didnât. And for a long moment, the two of you stood there, still and silent.
âItâs fine,â he repeated softly, turning on his heel.
âAngus, wait,â you hissed, not wanting to raise your voice with all the guests not too far awayâ of course, it was fruitless, and he briskly blended back in with the crowd.
Sighing, you dropped your head into your hands. That wasnât how you ever wanted this to go, you never wanted to hurt him; honestly, youâd assumed heâd be irritated, but not⌠sad. Not devastated. Of course he would prefer to be getting laid, but you figured he wouldnât have too much trouble finding some other girl to screw around withâ sometimes, youâd wondered if he already had.
It was supposed to be easy, it was supposed to be casual, it was supposed to be fun. You couldnât think of anything youâd ever done, or anything youâd ever felt, that was less fun than this.
//
It made a strange sort of sense that the next time you saw him was at another party. Of course, this party was entirely different from the last one: for one, it was hosted by your boyfriend, and there sure as hell wasnât any quail. There was a lot more alcohol, though.
You were hanging off to the side, not feeling quite up for mixing in with the crowd as they danced to the record Brian had put on. Even if they spared you from the same boring questions that your parentsâ friends bombarded you with, they were uninteresting in their own way as every conversation seemed to come back to politics or pot.
Brian startled you a bit by coming up beside you, resting his hand on the small of your back. âHey,â he greeted, and you smiled up at him. Your eyes lingered on his faceâ he looked⌠grown up. It was probably just because he had a beard; he certainly didnât always act grown up, but overall, Brian was perfectly acceptable. Heâd asked you out, heâd actually had the bravery for that, so that was a great head start.
You tried to shake the thought out of your mind, looking away from him; it wasnât a head start because this wasnât a race. Who, after all, would he be racing against?
For some reason, your eyes turned to the front doorâ and you bit your lip as you saw Angus coming inside, slipping off his coat and looking around the room (for you, presumably). He looked even more haggard than before: a little pale, eyes sunken and dark, and he definitely hadnât shaved since you saw him.
Brian looked to find where you were staring, and frowned slightly. âWhoâs that?â he asked.
âOh, umâ Angus Tully, his parents are friends with mine, I used to babysit him when he was a kid.â
You knew that wasnât really what he was asking, so you werenât surprised when he got to the point more directly: âWhatâs he doing here?â
âI donât know,â you shrugged, hoping Brian wouldnât somehow figure out that your heart was racing.
Brianâs hand moved up to your shoulder and gave it a squeeze, just as Angus noticed you and hurriedly shoved his way through the crowd to come face-to-face with you.
âHey, can I talk to you for a second?â he asked, his voice raspy and hurried as he took a quick glance at Brian in his peripheral.
âUmâ sure,â you agreed awkwardly, not sure which answer would be less suspicious. Of course, when you glanced at Brian, he just looked mildly annoyedâ bored, even. You realized in that moment that you didnât need to worry about him suspecting you and Angus of anything, because he barely registered Angusâ existence: he certainly wouldnât acknowledge him as some kind of sexual threat.
âPrivately,â Angus addedâ and that actually got Brianâs attention, though he seemed more aware of your discomfort than anything.
âAnything you wanna say to her, you can say in front of me,â Brian assured firmly, and Angus swallowed anxiouslyâ it was obvious from the bob of his Adamâs apple.
âActually, uh, somebody was looking for you out front,â Angus told him. âSomething about a keg getting delivered to the wrong house?â
âShit,â Brian hissed, dropping his hand from your shoulder and looking towards the door again. âFucking idiotsâŚâ
Having made quick work of Brian, Angus put his attention back on you. âLetâs go outside,â he suggested.
âW-we can just talk here,â you tried to say, but he was already grabbing your wrist and guiding you out; why did your heart still skip when he touched you?
Once heâd taken you through the kitchen and out to the back porchâ where you could still hear the music and chatter, but it was much quieterâ you spoke.
âAngus, I really am sorry aboutâ you knowâ but you canât justââ you started.
âItâs not over yet,â he insisted, surprising you with his intensity; you leaned back against the wooden railing, and he stood just a little too close with those dark brown eyes piercing through you.
âIf you tell me youâre happy with Brian, Iâll leave you alone,â Angus decided, puffing up his chest a bit.
âIâm happy with Brian,â you said sternly.
A brief moment passed. âOkay, I lied,â Angus admitted.
âJesus,â you hissed.
âBut only because I donât believe you!â he explained. âWe were so good together.â
âYeah, we were,â you admitted, âbut⌠itâs over now.â
âNoâ itâs not. It canât be!â he insisted with a whine, and you scoffed as you shook your head.
âAngus, youâre being childish,â you scolded.
âOh, donât say that,â he grimaced. âDonât hold that against meâ Iâm not stupid, you know.â
âOf course youâre notâ but youâre not thinking clearly.â
âDamn right Iâm not!â he spat. âYouâre all I could think about, for months! Months, I couldnât fucking get you out of my head! And not just the, you know, the dirty stuffâ everything. Every moment I spent with you, every dumb thing we talked about for hours, every time you laughed at one of my shitty jokesââ
âAngus, please,â you breathed, glancing down; you could only take so much of this, and you worried he was figuring that out.
âDoes he make you laugh?â Angus pressed, stepping a bit closer to you. âDoes he make you feel special? Does he make you come?â
âYes,â you said sharply, âheâs great, okay? Iâm happyâ so please just stop fucking this up for me.â
âOkay, fine,â he conceded, âyouâre happy, I believe you. But⌠but what about me, yâknow? He doesnât need you like I do.â
Your face warmed up and you crossed your arms tighter, staring down at the ground.
âOf course he likes youâ who wouldnât? But he couldnât even imagine how I feel about youâ how long Iâve been thinking about you. I mean, Iâve wanted you since I was a kid! Youâre my dream girl!â
âThatâsâ that has nothing to do with me,â you tried to explain. âThatâs a fantasy!â
âBut itâs real, baby,â he sighed, bringing his hands up to gently hold your arms at either side. âItâs so real, you know it is.â
You didnât even have the heart to deny itâ or to tell him not to call you that. You knew if you looked up at him, you wouldnât be able to fight him anymore; he mustâve known that, too, because he delicately lifted your chin until you met his gaze.
And then he kissed you: tender, sweet, and shameless. He didnât care if anyone saw, if anyone knewâ even Brian. You, on the other hand, still cared enough to try to stop him; but even you couldnât resist a kiss like this, and you found your hands pulling him closer as quickly as theyâd tried to push him away.
He took you home, without another word about what this meant or where you stood with each other. You snuck him into your room and he climbed into bed with you and he touched you like heâd been waiting a lot longer than just a few months for this moment. Frankly, you were beginning to realize that youâd been waiting a lot longer for this, too.
Before, Angus had always been talkative during sexâ sometimes annoyingly so. But this time, he didnât say a damn thing; neither of you did. And yet, somehow, just by the way he looked at you, just by the way he held you, just by the way he moved inside you... you felt like you heard more than you ever had.
//
You sat next to each other on the bench, staring forward into the dark treeline aheadâ there was still a layer of frost around their roots, and a new snow had begun to fall even if it wasnât cold enough for it to stick on the pavement. You tried not to look at him too long, in case it made this any harder, but you did appreciate that he seemed a bit more put together than he had the last time you went a few days without seeing him. He was clean-shaven, too⌠is it wrong that you kinda missed the stubble?
âThanks for, you know⌠giving me a couple days to think about it,â you mumbled, and he nodded.
âI thought you might have somewhere better to be on a Friday night,â he saidâ trying to lighten the mood a bit, you could tell; trying to make you comfortable.
âWell, even if I did, I think this needs to be done,â you explained, and he pressed his lips together a bit.
He waited patiently, though, for you to break the silence and explain yourself, even if he didnât seem too surprised when you did it.
âIt was a mistake,â you decided. âIt was great, but it was a mistakeâ and Iâd really appreciate if we could just⌠let it go. And if you didnât tell Brian.â
âOkay,â he nodded slowly. âI wasnât gonna tell him. But I still think you should dump him.â
âWell, thatâs my decision,â you reminded him, crossing your arms.
âI know,â he breathed.
You could already tell, just by the way the next silence began, that he was going to interrupt it with something stupid⌠you just never expected how stupid.
âThe thing isâ I love you,â he blurted out suddenly, turning to look at you again as your eyes widened. âI fucking love you.â
âAngus, Iâ you canâtâ!â you choked out, but he continued before you could try to think of a response.
âI know I doâ donât say I donât know what that is, or that Iâm too young or something stupid like that,â he pleaded. âI know how I feel, okay? When you miss somebody this much, when you think about somebody this muchâ what else could love be, but that?â
You sighed, looking away, and he moved closer to you on the bench. Even if you knew it was preposterous that someone else would be in the park at the end of the street at this time of night, you still fought the urge to look over your shoulder.
âDonât tell me Iâm crazy,â he breathed. âYou love me too, donât you? I meanâ I thought you basically forgot I existed, but last night⌠that sort of thing doesnât just happen, does it? Itâs not⌠itâs not usually like that.â
âNo, itâs not,â you admitted, âthat was different.â
He perked up, smiling wide when you looked at him again. âJust say it,â he begged, âsay you love me tooâ âcause I know you do.â
âIâ Angus, itâs more complicated than that,â you explained. âWeâre stillâ thereâs Brian, for one thing⌠we canât really go on like this, you know that.â
âI knowâ I donât want to keep doing this. I want to really be together,â he replied. You tried to turn your body away from his slightly, but he grabbed your hands and held them tight until you looked at him again. âIâm almost done with high schoolâ Iâll go to college where youâre going for grad school!â
You shook your head. âNo, you canât do that.â
âJust think about it: us, togetherâ we could actually go on real dates, and go to college parties together, and, like, study out at the libraryâ or, you know, whatever you college kids do,â he fantasized. You smiled, but shook your head again.
âWe⌠we canât do that,â you denied.
He frowned, and turned away from you, staring darkly at the ground. âI knew it,â he mumbled, shaking his head. âYouâre embarrassedâ youâre ashamed of me.â
âWhat?!â you blurted out. âAngus, noââ
âItâs okay,â he said in a terribly unconvincing way, crossing his arms. âI donât blame you: Iâm just some dumb kid from your hometown. You want a guy your ageâ not some random freshman⌠you want something better.â
âThatâs bullshit,â you replied instantly, âyou can do so much better.â
âCâmon, Iâll never do better than you,â he insisted.
Even though heâd misunderstood you, your heart still swelled a bit at the compliment. âI meant for college, Angus,â you explained, and he deflated a little. âYou can do a lot better than a state school.â
âWell, I, um⌠I donât know if I can,â he admitted nervously. âMy grades are kinda⌠inconsistent. And I went to so many different high schoolsââ
âWho gives a shit?â you scoffed. âYouâre fucking smartâ way smarter than anybody else here. You act like an idiot sometimes, but youâre eighteen, it kinda comes with the territory.â
He frowned, but couldnât exactly deny it.
âYou deserve to go somewhere amazing,â you told him. âYou need to go somewhere amazingâ and do something amazing.â
For a long moment, he just stared out into the dark; until, suddenly, he whipped his head back around at you with a quizzical look on his face. âWaitâ is that what this is all about?â
âWhat?â
âDo you not want to be with me because you think youâd, like, hold me back or something?â he accused.
You blinked quickly; something about the way he said be with me caught you off-guardâ like it was a term much more mature than you had expected from him. Instead of answering directly, you just stammered. âWell, y-youâre young, andââÂ
He cut you off quickly with a laugh. âOh my god! You think I give a shit about that?â
âNo,â you shot back, âbut you should. You realize how fucking dumb it would be to change your whole life for the first person you ever slept with?â
âWhen you put it like that, it sounds dumb,â he admitted, looking down at his feet swinging over the edge. âBut what if itâs somebody that, you know, you think you really have a shot with? What if itâs somebody that you feel like you canât live without? Somebody that makes you finally get all those songs you hear on the radioââ
âIt only feels like this to you because youâve never felt anything else,â you explained gently. âItâs your first love. It fades.â
âBut I donât want it to,â he said instantly, looking at you with the most heartbreaking eyes youâd ever seen. âGod, I donât want it to.â
You looked up at him as his hand brushed over your face, and felt tears welling before you could fight them off; he kissed you, in a way that you thought he might have never really kissed you before. In a way nobody had kissed you before, in fact. It wasnât very long, but it felt like it might as well have gone on forever.
When he broke away, he kept his eyes shut, and he pressed his forehead to yours as his thumb stroked your cheek. âTell me it doesnât have to end,â he breathed, âplease. Tell me itâs not going to end.â
âIt has to,â you whispered back, watching his shoulders sink and bringing your hand up to clutch at his chest. âIt has to end, someday.â
You took a shaky breath, watching a tear fall from his jaw onto your arm, feeling everything youâd held back finally breaking through as your grip on shirt tightened and your lip began to quiver.
âBut it doesnât have to be tonight,â you sighed.
Gasping with relief and joy simultaneously, he kissed you again, and pulled you closer at your waist, and wrapped you up in his arms tightly.
There was, of course, this nagging voice at the back of your mindâ that maybe it didnât have to end. And god, you wanted to silence that thought permanently if you could, because it had never done you any good. That hope had only ever led to pain before. But, without it, nothing would ever really have a chance: if you werenât willing to risk the heartache, youâd never let yourself love Angus the way that he deserved and the way that you knew, deep down, you already did.
So, as he kissed you that way you thought people only kissed in movies, and whispered to you those words you thought people only said because they were poets and dreamers, you realized that maybe it didnât have to end someday. Maybe he would spend the next several years of your lives convincing you that you didnât need to protect yourself from your own feelings. Maybe he would actually have the patience to break down walls he never built, to fix wounds he didnât leave. Maybe he was ready to give you something to believe in, something worth taking risks for while you were still young and reckless. Maybe he, like the oncoming equinox, would melt your ice so new life could grow.
Or, maybe, this feeling he had really would fade once he gained a little more life experience; maybe you would make too many mistakes for him to forgive. Maybe you would always be friends, or maybe you would have too much history to be able to see each other again. Maybe you would grow apartâ maybe you would have to brace yourself for that, to sit next to him on a cold dorm room mattress as you both realized it just wasnât working anymore.
The most important thing that you realized in that momentâ that eternal moment in his arms, in the dark, in the last snow of Springâ was that it didnât matter. It didnât have to be forever to be perfect; it didnât have to be the ending to be beautiful. He loved you. Even if you were still trying to figure out why, he loved you; and that was true, and real, and special. His love couldnât fix you, but it made you feel fixable, and you hadnât seen yourself that way in a long timeâ you could only dream that you might see yourself the way he saw you.
When you pulled back from the kiss for a moment, you smiled wideâ you laughed, actuallyâ and sniffled as he wiped your tears away. âI love you,â you told him, and even though he kissed you again, you didnât stop saying it. You wanted to keep it on your lips until it didnât scare you anymore; you wanted to keep your heart open, even if it made you vulnerable, maybe because it made you vulnerable. After all, you couldnât ever be sure it wouldnât come back to bite you⌠if you could, it wouldnât mean anything.
Even though all you said to him was I love you, each one meant something a bit different. I trust you. Iâm not sure Iâm ready, but Iâm going to try. Iâm sorry. Iâm so glad I met you. Iâll never forget you. Please donât let me go.
Somehow, you felt like he heard each one. Each time he told you that he loved you, though, you heard the same thing: I wonât let you go, ever.
//
Easter Mass was relatively pleasant, if a little too long. You did notice Angus sitting with his family, across the aisle and a few rows back, but you only gave him a quick wave before the service started and managed to resist glancing back at him after that.
The best part of Easter was always afterwards, though: you stood at the furthest end of the lawn, in front of the ivy-covered exterior wall of the chapel, as children ran around snatching up colorful eggs to collect for their baskets. Even if it was totally stupid, and irrelevant to the actual message of the holiday that the priest had just spent the whole service hammering in, you got a kick out of the fancy clothes and tiny dress shoes, the squeals of delight, the candy and toys in bright pastels. You were just thankful the weather had warmed up in the nick of time for all the festivitiesâ indoor egg hunts never have quite the same effect.
Angus sauntered up beside you, sipping on a styrofoam cup of complimentary coffee, and you didnât even look at each other, but you both smiled.
âTheyâre cute,â he stated after a little while.
âYeah,â you agreed.
âDo you wanna have a kid?â he asked, and you gave him a hesitant glance only to find him looking right back at youâ his expression was friendly, but neutral enough that you couldnât read if he meant having a kid with him or just, you know, in general.
Deciding it must be the second one, you let out a soft, nervous laugh. âUh, I dunno⌠maybe someday,â you offered, as non-committal as possible.
âHow about right now?â he challenged, lowering his voice slightly, but not enough to stop you from glancing around to make sure nobody heard.
âAngus, fucking Christ,â you coughed. âDonât joke about that.â
âIâm not,â he shrugged. âI mean, maybe Iâm not being literal, but that doesnât mean Iâm not being serious.â
âWell⌠we canât,â you mumbled, looking out at the lawn again, hoping not to stand out too much. âNot here.â
âI know, I know,â he agreed, and the two of you fell back into a silenceâ an oddly comfortable one, even. You crossed your arms as you watched the kids run around and he kept sipping on his coffee. After a few moments, though, you spoke again.
âMeet you in the Sunday school room in the West wing in five minutes?â
âYup,â he said, already turning to leave. You smiled slightly to yourself, glancing down at your white shoes planted in the grass. Even on such a delicately-manicured lawn, wildflowers were already springing upâ little periwinkle diamonds scattered here and there.
When what felt like a reasonable amount of time passed, you made your careful and casual exit from the egg hunt to slip back inside. Once you were away from the crowds and on your way to meet Angus, you couldnât stop yourself from running⌠and you couldnât stop yourself from smiling, either.
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Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover
Pairing:Â Spencer Reid x Female!Reader
Word Count:Â ~1.3k
Warnings:Â none
Summary:Â Youâre plagued by the kid who lives in your neighborhood, the kid you know has a crush on you. You left town, you lived your life without him, and now youâre staring at him face to face after years. Something about him has changed and now you canât help but want him back.
Square Filled:Â art student au for @spencerreidbingo
Authorâs Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
x
Then
As soon as the last bell at school rings, you race off campus to start the walk home. Itâs not a far walk but you enjoy the silence you get from it. Your house is filled with little brothers and sisters and itâs hard to get a moment of peace. Your parents do the best they can but you know itâs hard for them. Youâre the oldest so youâre expected to help out which is why you also enjoy your time alone.
You walk around the corner and notice the sixth house down from yours with the garage open. Youâre not sure how you feel but something washes over you knowing whatâs going to come next. Maybe itâs annoyance or irritation or indifference but the same thing happens every single time you walk home from school.
The only kid that lives there, Spencer Reid, loves to come out and walk with you the rest of the way to your house. Heâs a nice kid but thatâs all he is--a kid. Heâs two years older than you are but youâre much taller than he is. If he is going to get a growth spurt, heâs getting it late in life or maybe his family are just short people. Heâs not enrolled in your school because heâs mega smart and needs higher education to stimulate his brain.
You slip past his house in hopes you can enjoy the rest of your walk in silence but you hear the garage door slam shut and footsteps padding down the driveway.
âHey, Y/N! Almost missed you.â
âHi, Spencer,â you shake your head.
âHow was your day?â
âIt was fine. Itâs just school.â
âToday was my first day of college and it was exhilarating. I have to admit, I wish you were there. Or I wish I was enrolled in your high school like all the other normal kids. At least weâd be together.â
You knew he had a crush on you after the first conversation you ever had with him. He called you pretty and vowed heâd walk with you to protect you against predators. It was cute at first but not youâre interested in someone like him. Like you said, heâs nice and has the potential of being a good boyfriend but heâs short and you donât go for short boys.
âSure, Spencer.â
âListen, my mom gave me some money and I wanted to see this new French film thatâs playing across town. Do you think youâd want to maybe go with me?â
Never has he ever had the balls to ask you out. Now that he has, you need to put a stop to this. Heâll get over the crush and you wonât be humiliated every time you go out in public. Does that make you selfish? Maybe. Does that make you a douche? Definitely. You stop outside of your house and look down at Spencer who has a hopeful look in his eyes.
âSpencer, listen, youâre a nice kid but itâs never going to happen between us.â Spencerâs face falls but he doesnât say anything. âGrow over six feet and then weâll talk, okay?â
You meant that as a joke but you donât stick around to see if he laughs. Thatâs the last time you ever saw Spencer Reid.
Now
Today is the day. Youâre given the opportunity to feature your art in one of the most successful art galleries in the country. You studied at Princeton and got a degree in fine arts before interning for known artist Benjamin Hale. Heâs so successful that he has hundreds of galleries across America with dozens more across the world. He was impressed with your portfolio and offered to let you study underneath him while creating your artwork in private.
He offered you a chance to showcase your work in one of his new galleries. According to him, he needs new blood in this gallery and youâre the perfect fit for it. Your speciality is portraits, realism, and photorealism. Your favorite things to draw are people but there is something about being in nature and drawing what God put on this Earth. You have an eye for making your paintings look real and raw, and youâre able to capture peopleâs emotions henceforth the realism part of your art.
You only have about a dozen works put up in your small corner of the gallery but youâre proud of it all. You might not sell anything tonight and thatâs okay. When you got the word out that the gallery was going to open, people agreed to come once they saw free food and wine was going to be handed out. Still, you appreciate everyone coming.
The place is packed mostly for Benjaminâs work but you see some people enjoying your work. Youâre in the back room getting more wine for the servers when one of them joins you.
âHey, Y/N.â
âOh, hey, Lori. Iâve just gotten the box of wine for you guys.â
âI just came back here to tell you that someone just bought all of your things.â Youâre so shocked that you spring up but hit your head on the corner of a shelf. You yelp in pain and rub the sore area before backing out of the dusty corner. âAre you okay?â
âYeah, Iâm fine. What did you just say?â
âSomeone bought all of your work.â
You donât wait to hear what else she has to say. Youâre already out the door and rushing into the main room. You look to your section but donât see anyone lingering around. Youâre not paying attention to where youâre walking when you almost run into someone. The man grabs your shoulders to prevent you from falling and lets out a chuckle.
âAre you okay?â
Wait you know that voice. You look up at the man towering over six feet tall. Damn, he grew up.
âSpencer?â
âSo, you do remember me.â
He lets go of your shoulders and allows you to take a step back from him. Damn, not only did he grow but he grew more handsome since the last time you saw him. Well, he was fifteen the last time you saw him but still.
âHow could I forget the little boy who followed me for two years?â
âYeah, I kind of had a crush on you,â he chuckles.
Oh, he even has a beautiful smile. Damn, I really was a dick to him back then. You try to ignore the pang of sadness at his use of âhadâ and not âhaveâ.
âI know you did. Iâm sorry, but I need to go.â
âLooking for someone?â he asks before you have a chance to leave his side.
âYeah, someone bought everything I have out.â
âIt was me.â
You pause and turn to look at him. He has a slight smirk on his face, and something in your head clicks into place. You look at him up and down and notice how heâs trying hard not to be overly confident in his decision.
âSo, what, you got older and taller and now you think youâre hot shit?â
Spencer shrugs and shoves his hands into his pockets.
âYouâre the one looking up, not me.â Your jaw drops several inches at his remark. âSo, can we talk now?â
âExcuse me?â
âYou told me to grow over six feet and weâll talk. Well, Iâm over six feet now. Will you let me take you out?â
You have no clue what to say to that because your mind is reeling from the last thing he said. Someone calls his name and you both see a black man, two blondes, and a brunette waving him over. They point to their watches which means he is either late or they have to go. He digs in his pocket and produces a business card. Only itâs not a business card. Heâs in the fucking FBI.
âHow about this?â He hands the card to you. âCall me when I can pick this stuff up and maybe weâll talk then.â
He leaves your side and joins his friend group without another look at you. Is it shallow to want him now? Maybe. Are you going to try like hell to make up for lost time? Definitely.
x
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#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fiction#spencer reid fan fiction#spencer reid fan fic#criminal minds#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds fluff#criminal minds angst#criminal minds fiction#criminal minds fan fiction#criminal minds fan fic
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it's silly but the biggest reason why im not into t yet is bc im so afraid of losing my hair. do you have any solutions/tips for it?
first of all, i donât think itâs silly â itâs natural to be worried when hair loss is talked about by so many people as likeâŚone of the worst results of aging for men. listening to my dad talk about how much he hates balding definitely did not make me feel particularly good about the knowledge that i may very well be joining him someday. iâm not saying the fear is right, because i donât think hair loss is something awful that we should avoid at all costs, but itâs an understandable fear given the beauty standards weâre working with, and itâs one that a lot of us (myself included) feel.
one thing thatâs helped me is justâŚpaying more attention to the guys that i interact with on a daily basis. iâve learned two things from it: 1) hair loss is super fucking common. iâd say itâs much harder to find an adult man who isnât balding at all than it is to find one whoâs completely bald. and 2) if you forget everything youâve been told about how bad hair loss is, youâll realize that quite frankly, every single one of those guys looks totally fucking fine. it doesnât ruin their appearance and make them ugly, it looks totally natural and isnât really even something youâd notice if you werenât looking for it. we put so much weight on it but itâs really just not that big of a deal. iâll hear my parents talk shit about men in my family who are losing their hair when i didnât even notice a difference last time i saw them. itâs one of those things (like so many other appearance-related things) that you really only notice at all because youâve been taught that youâre supposed to care about it.
this isnât something iâve done personally, but if you really want to desensitize yourself to the idea of it, embrace the time-honored queer tradition of just shaving your whole damn head! find out what youâd look like without hair, find out how you feel about it and what you can do that makes you feel good about your appearance without hair, test the waters while itâs still a temporary change and not something permanent. that way, it wonât feel like this big scary unknown, and youâll actually have a frame of reference for your feelings about how you look without hair rather than accepting the societal assumption that youâll inevitably hate it. if you donât want to actually shave your head, you could also just fuck around with bald filters or photoshop and see what happens.
oh, and if youâre attracted to men, keep an eye out for guys who are bald or balding and also hot as fuck. in my experience, thereâs no insecurity or potential future insecurity that being gay for other men hasnât helped me with. just off the top of my head, i can think of a couple actors who i think are absolutely fucking gorgeous who have helped me get over my fears about losing my hair. despite what our anti-aging-obsessed world might want you to think, there is no such thing as a physical feature that automatically makes someone less attractive, and while making attractiveness less of a priority in your life is good, it canât hurt to also give yourself some proof that actually, you might lose your hair and look hot as hell doing it.
basically, entertain the possibility that it wonât be a bad thing at all! whether thatâs just because it turns out to be a neutral thing for you or because you end up actually liking it, itâs not an inherently bad thing. iâve ended up liking a lot of things that were âsupposed toâ be bad effects of t â i love the weight iâve gained and the new shape it gives my body, i get a lot of gender euphoria from the fact that my acne is now on parts of my face that i saw a lot of guys in high school get it and iâm not complaining about the scars i get from it either because iâve always liked the added texture that acne scars give my skin, and so on. i think thereâs a lot of joy to be had in the changes weâre taught to fear, once we look past that conditioning and actually explore how we feel about it.
but if itâs something you really donât want and you just want to improve your chances of not having to deal with it, itâs not like thereâs nothing you can do! products like finasteride (oral) and minoxidil (usually topical but i think there might also be oral versions) are pretty commonly used among trans guys, for the purpose of avoiding hair loss and for other reasons, and there are plenty of other anti-hair loss products out there (though i donât know how effective any one of them might be). if itâs a big enough deal for you, you can just decide that youâll go off of t if/when you start noticing signs of it, since no longer having higher t levels would stop the process in its tracks. and if you donât find prevention options that work for you so it ends up happening, you can always explore different hair styles (judging by the pattern of hair loss i see in my family, i suspect that keeping my hair long would make it less obvious if i started losing mine), find your preferred method of covering it when you donât feel good about it (personally i love a good beanie generally and would probably wear them a lot more if i didnât have hair to worry about because my main complaint is the way they press my hair onto my neck), or just shave it all off if you donât like the look of the partial balding but donât mind a shaved head. the point being â you have options!
at the end of the day, whether you go on t or not, youâre going to see your body change as you age in ways that arenât always going to be attractive to others or aesthetically pleasing to you. thatâs just the reality of having a body. even if you never went on t, youâd get older and you might see your hair thin out even if you donât bald, youâll see your skin start to wrinkle and sag in places that used to be smooth, your metabolism might slow or your body fat might start to gather in new places; hell, you might lose your hair for a totally different reason and end up in the same place but without the benefits of having been on t that whole time. life is full of bodily changes like that. transphobes will fearmonger about the permanent changes of testosterone all day long but the truth is, there is no escaping permanent bodily changes. whether or not you go on t, your body now isnât the same as it will be in 1 or 5 or 10 or 20 or 50 years, just like it isnât the same as it was at any point in your life before now. our bodies are never supposed to stop growing and aging and changing throughout our lives. thereâs no guaranteeing that weâll love every single change our bodies go through, but thatâs okay! there are so many things in life that are more important than the way our bodies look. even if you go on t and lose your hair and donât like how it looks, your life wonât be ruined; plenty of other things will bring you joy and more than make up for the insecurities.
just think about the gender euphoria and relief from dysphoria that t could give you. would losing your hair be bad enough to outweigh all of that? or is it just the pressure of a society that decided balding is bad thatâs making you fear one single change despite how much joy you could have if you let that fear go? only you can decide if going on t is worth the potential downsides for you, but i suspect that for most of us, the benefits of going on t far outweigh the possibility of side effects like hair loss happening down the line.
#when i say i love helping people beat their fears about t this is what i mean. i will simply write a whole essay about it#some people might think itâs silly to answer a question like this so extensively#but i donât think it is! i feel like this is a really common fear but also one i donât see talked about much#maybe because itâs so common among cis guys that people donât see it as a question to ask in trans spaces? idk#but i think we should talk about it more. especially when transphobes use it as a way to talk shit about t#ask answered#testosterone#hrt#ftm hrt#hair loss#trans men#transmascs
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Gentle "Parent"ing
fandom: obey me pairing: demon brothers x gn!reader warnings: none summary: how the brothers react to an mc who coddles their younger siblings. prompt by @satansbiggestkinnie: I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM I'M YOUR NO1 FAN >:3 SO UHH HEAR ME OUT: A MC who's just the opposite of Lucifer when it comes to being an older sibling!! They looooove their little siblings and they show it!! A little too much since they're "famous" for being a total coddler and giving their lil siblings a buuunch of affection!! (Me-coded fr) (Also what if they're little siblings are annoyed at that and the little brothers in OM especially Satan is just.. FLABBERGASTED.) A/N: tysm for the kind words, this was really sweet to read in my inbox ;-; you didn't specify if you wanted all the characters or just the brothers, but i ended up only writing for the brothers as you mentioned both lucifer and the younger brothers. sorry if i got this wrong. also,,, this kind of turned into "how the brothers would treat your younger siblings" at some point lol.
LUCIFER
⢠As a man who is big on family, he was definitely happy to meet yours. Perhaps even eager, but he'd never admit that.
⢠He usually wouldn't be the type to stress all that much over meeting the family â he's confident enough in his ability to be cordial and agreeable for just one evening â but the added presence of his brothers changes his entire attitude. He does everything short of giving them an actual script to rehearse just to make sure they don't screw something up. He cares immensely about first impressions.
⢠Is somewhat relieved when your younger siblings turn out to be a laid-back bunch.
⢠Maybe a little too laid-back for his liking.
⢠Now, Lucifer loves his brothers. Absolutely he does. And he's known for going along with their antics from time to time for the purpose of bonding. But his style of discipline can hardly be described as gentle or understanding, and he sort of experiences whiplash when he sees you fussing over your siblings like toddlers.
⢠You're doing... everything for them. Some seem happy to let you take the wheel, but others (specifically the older kids, some in their teenage years) seem annoyed at your insistence on cleaning up after them.
⢠If you have any siblings that are still children, he notices how they seem to just hang off of you. They want attention and playtime from you 24/7 and it honestly gets on his nerves, but don't worry, he won't do anything. He knows they're just kids.
⢠Still, I can imagine him being their first experience with proper discipline outside of your parents. He once put one of your youngest siblings in time-out for wasting their food by spilling it onto the table or throwing it, and after you found out you glared at him, picked up the child responsible and started going on about how "Lucifer is just grumpy and mean" and they "don't have to listen to him".
⢠"MC, they need to learn not to play with their food somehowâ"
⢠"Look at their little faces! Just leave them be."
⢠Warns you repeatedly about how they're going to grow up to be spoiled brats if you keep coddling them like this, but it's up to you if you listen to him or not.
⢠Also, don't let him fool you. He may not be particularly fond of or good with children, but he's just as weak to their pouting.
"Why are your eyes red?" Lucifer turns his head to look down at the small child before him, who stared right back. "It's weird." Children were always strange to him. His presence struck fear into the hearts of most, but children seemingly lack that sense of self-preservation that adults have, making them a mix of brave and... well, dumb. "I was born that way," he replies simply, and the child nods in understanding. "And you shouldn't call people 'weird'. Would you like it if someone said that about your eyes?" "No." The child shook its head and Lucifer nodded and reached down to pat the kid's hair. "Exactly."
MAMMON
⢠The week leading up to meeting your family were the most stressful days of his life. Not only were his own nerves acting up, but Lucifer's constant lectures on how to act weren't helping.
⢠What if MC's family hates him? What if that's a dealbreaker and they can't be together anymore? Will he spend the rest of his life chasing this feeling just to find that there's no-one who will love him like that again as he whittles away his time thinking about how he let the love of his life get away andâ
⢠He overthought it. The kids love him.
⢠Mammon is actually really good with kids, if not kind of a pushover. Teenagers also tend to like him for the "rebellious vibe" he's got going on, and the fact he's easy to talk to (and make fun of). The only problem is he gives in to anything they want way too easily, and for that reason you two can't be left alone to babysit. Everyone else will come back to find out you bought an entire bouncy house.
⢠He, unlike Lucifer, totally gets why you coddle your siblings so much. He's prone to doing so himself, mainly with Belphie, and also has literally no perception of how humans age or what level of basic ability they're at. He treats your teenage siblings like toddlers.
⢠"Shouldn't we cut up her food so she don't choke?"
⢠"She's 16, Mammon, she can chew."
⢠Mammon also seems like the type to get straight-up bullied by children. You have absolutely walked in on him having been forced into a "princess tea party" with a fake tiara on and messily-done makeup on his face from your sibling's attempt to doll him up.
⢠Is the victim of every toddler's rough-housing phase (if you know you know). They literally jump on him and start wailing on him with their tiny baby fists. It's not like he can fight back, they're kids, so he just lays there and screams for help.
⢠Will later come crying to you about how he got fucking mugged and beaten by a 3 year-old. Is absolutely appalled when you take the kid's side.
⢠"That little shit took my money!"
⢠"He's just a baby! He doesn't know what he's doing! And don't swear!"
⢠Catch him and your sibling glaring at each other whenever they think you're not looking, because the child absolutely acts like an innocent angel whenever you're around, and you buy into it completely. Even if you didn't, you don't have it in you to punish him.
"What ya doin'?" Mammon approaches the kid laying on the floor with their schoolwork scattered on the ground in front of them. They lean to the side so Mammon can take a look at what they're writing. "Huh. Ya can spell yer name already? Nice." They give him a strange look. "...I'm 10." "...Oh." ...MC's boyfriend is weird.
LEVIATHAN
⢠Levi... uh... doesn't want to be here.
⢠It's not that he doesn't want to meet your family... well, yeah, that's exactly what it is. He's absolutely convinced they're going to hate him. Why would he leave the safe abode of his room just to go mingle with some normie kids?
⢠I can't imagine he's very good with children, and teenagers scare him. So, catch him hiding in a dark corner.
⢠He does like simply watching you go about your day with your family, though. It's an insight into your daily domestic life he never thought he'd get, and it's just really nice to him. He'd never admit he was watching if you confront him about it though.
⢠But... your tendency to coddle your siblings makes him jealous. Obviously.
⢠I mean, it's not like he wants to be treated like a child. But they get away with everything. How come his older brothers don't treat him in that overly-affectionate, loving way? Thinking about it, he'd probably hate if they did... But still!
⢠These stupid kids are taking away your attention, and the way you talk about them like they can do no wrong and remind them how much you love them at every opportunity is making his chest burn with envy. The only reason he isn't summoning Lotan is because it's your house and that would be rude.
⢠Reassure him that just because you love your siblings doesn't mean you love him any less.
⢠Also, if any of your siblings are into anime or at least interested in it, he's more likely to come out of his shell a little. He'll discuss any shows they've watched with them (because he's watched literally everything) and give them recommendations. Child-friendly of course.
⢠Keep him away from any siblings going through a "mean teen" phase. They will make him cry and you will have to talk him down so he doesn't go all demon form crazy on an actual child.
One of the kids in the house makes their way up to Levi, who is slumped back on the couch with his knees up. Levi looks up at the kid, then at his phone, then at the kid and at his phone again. He feels a bead of sweat form. Is this child judging him? "Do you have games on your phone?" They suddenly ask and Levi blinks. Damn, the meme is real. "Uh..." He clears his throat. If he doesn't let the kid play, then they'll hate him. And if the kid hates him... MC will hate him too! "...Yâyeah. You wanna play...?"
SATAN
⢠So, although I think seeing you treat your siblings with such overbearing affection and love comes as a bit of a culture shock to him, I don't believe he'd be super surprised that some of them have a negative reaction to it.
⢠He hates baby-talk or being treated like a child to any degree. He'd probably lose it if one of his brothers did something like offering to complete any kind of work for him, because it implies he isn't capable of doing it on his own. There's that scene of him in Nightbringer threatening Lucifer for force-feeding him breakfast when he wouldn't eat, and the text conversation where he tells you he wants to kill Asmo because he's been baby-talking him all day.
⢠He completely understands your urge to coddle your siblings, but he also understands their frustration in response to it. Will probably try to explain why you should ease up on it a little, but recognises it isn't really his place to decide.
⢠Kids and teenagers actually probably like him well enough. He has a short temper and isn't the best person to deal with kids when they make a mistake, especially when it's with something he considers second nature by now, but he's the type to talk to kids like they're adults and take the things they say completely seriously.
⢠Also encourages rebellion in the older kids because he thinks it's funny and relates hard. Probably joins in, actually.
⢠That being said, they aren't exempt from discipline by him, and he'll absolutely argue against you letting them off so light.
⢠"They need a time-out, MC."
⢠"They're just playing! Aren't you?" They both nod and Satan glares down at the little liars.
⢠"They were hitting each other and nearly broke the TV."
⢠Little added headcanon: Satan does not need to be forced to partake in kids' tea parties or games. He will do it willingly, but will deny it to the grave if he's walked in on. He gives me girl dad vibes.
The youngest toddler in the house waddles up to Satan with a toy phone in hand, holding it up to her ear to mimic what she's seen the adults around her do. The child then holds the phone out for Satan to take. "Bababa." Satan responds with a nod as if he understood the gibberish perfectly and takes the toy phone from her little hands, holding it up to his ear to take a pretend phone call. "Yes? Yes... mhm, mhm..." He murmurs, then looks down at the little girl before him. "Mm, she says she will not be attending unless there is baby food at this function. No? Okay." With that, he takes the toy away from his ear and holds it back out for the child to take, which she does, followed by another sentence in gibberish. "Banguguu..." "Yes, I handled it."
ASMODEUS
⢠Lmao he's even worse.
⢠Asmo is great with kids, but doesn't particularly... like them. I mean, he thinks they're cute and absolutely hosts mini fashion shows with your younger siblings. But he could never take care of one full-time because while they can be adorable, they can also be gross.
⢠That being said, he too is the overbearing coddler type. Not just with your siblings, but with his own too, even his older brothers. All it takes is them acting a little more affectionate with him than usual for him to fold and give them anything they want. Your own family is no different.
⢠He had no concerns before meeting your siblings. After all, he's just naturally so loveable â why would he need to be worried? In his mind, your siblings not liking him didn't even register as an option.
⢠He really didn't need to worry though, because he was right, teens and kids alike do love him. He's the perfect person to share and talk about drama with, as well as doing their makeup and recommending products. And princess tea parties? Playing with dolls? Of course he'll join you, dear!
⢠I wasn't joking about the mini fashion shows. He goes out, buys a bunch of clothes in your siblings' sizes and has them come with him so they can try all of them on. He takes so many pictures (he's always in the frame though).
⢠Joins you in being completely unable to discipline your siblings even if they clearly need it. If your younger siblings find your behaviour annoying or frustrating, then Asmo is absolutely intolerable.
⢠...Kind of wishes you would coddle him like you do your siblings. I mean, he's clearly cute enough to deserve it!
"And thenâ get this," Asmo nods at the teen's words and leans forward a little to show his interest. "We found out, nobody could find her because she was sleeping with Jackson's brother." Asmo lets out a dramatic gasp, pausing the nail painting for a moment. "Really? As revenge?" "Yeah, 'cause he cheated first. Apparently she was going to just leave him, but wanted to make it hurt." "Serves him right."
BEELZEBUB
⢠Another guy who is big on family, and really wanted to make a good impression on your siblings because of it. He worried a little too much over it though, because well... he's Beel. The biggest thing you actually have concerns about is whether he'll raid your entire fridge. You know for a fact your siblings are going to love him.
⢠Beel is very blunt and straightforward, and so are kids. This works out for him because it results in most kids immediately being fond of him.
⢠Lets any younger kids hold on to his arms and dangle off of him because he's so tall. Will even give them a piggyback ride just so they can experience what it's like to be over 7 feet tall.
⢠He also doesn't really react much to how you coddle and fuss over your siblings. He's used to acting a similar way with Belphie, so it's hard to say he notices anything different about the way you treat them. Similar to Mammon, I feel like he also has difficulty keeping track of what humans at different ages are and are not capable of doing.
⢠Covers the ears of a whole ass 17 year old when he hears any swearing.
⢠Beel will absolutely ask you for stories about your siblings just so he can hear the way you talk about them. He knows they're probably not innocent little angels like you make them out to be, but there's just so much love in the way you tell stories of when they were younger that he can't help but listen and nod along.
⢠"There's the handsomest boy in the world!" You coo as you play peekaboo with your baby brother. There's silence from beside you for a moment as the child laughs in delight. You look over and Beel is just... staring at you.
⢠"...You too, Beel."
⢠":)"
"Um, I don't think I can finish this..." He looks up at the child next to him, seeing how they poke at their food. Although the idea of being a picky eater is somewhat foreign to him, he doesn't want to force them to eat something they don't like. "It's fine," he says before covering his mouth when he realised he was talking with his mouth full. "You can give it to me." "Really?" The kid looks up at him and then slides their plate over to him. "Thank you!" Honestly, they're the one doing him a favour...
BELPHEGOR
⢠...Does he have to?
⢠He loves you, he really does. But meeting the family means he'll have to work to keep his attitude, body language and exhaustion in check and it just seems like... a lot of work. Especially if you have a lot of siblings. So much talking.
⢠Belphie doesn't really like kids, but you know how when you're very young, you tend to gravitate towards the cool, quiet and closed-off relative more? That's essentially what happens here. Your younger siblings adore Belphie for some reason even though it's very clearly not reciprocated.
⢠As for the coddling aspect... yeah, he's used to it.
⢠He receives that kind of treatment from most of his brothers and doesn't particularly enjoy it per-se, but as the baby of the family, knows how to use it to his advantage to get extra privileges. When he finds out from watching you and your siblings that "acting cute" works on you as well, expect him to start doing it to get you to clean his room for him.
⢠On that note, he does also understand the annoyance with it. He also hates things like babytalk or being coddled constantly, he finds it tiring. He probably won't bring it up like Satan would, though. He doesn't care.
⢠Insists he doesn't like any of your youngest siblings but you will find him asleep with them curled up on his chest a couple times at least.
⢠Also a victim of toddler rough-housing because he's always laying down, so he's an easy target.
"What?" Belphie groans as a pair of tiny toddler hands repeatedly pat his face to get his attention. Finally opening his eyes, he's met with the evillest grin he's ever seen on a kid this young, followed by the little shit grabbing a chunk of his hair and yanking it. "Ow..." Belphie huffs and tilts his head away, holding the toddler back with one hand. "...You're lucky MC loves you," he mutters, then glares at the child when they immediately follow up with a slap to his arm, as if they heard him. "Stop it." The kid then manages to shuffle onto the couch, now trying to climb on top of Belphie to continue beating him. It doesn't hurt, but it's a hassle. "MC..." He calls, too tired to deal with this. "Come get your baby. I'm trying to sleep..." "They're not my babies, Belphie..."
#obey me#obey me x reader#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#omswd#obey me shall we date#obey me! shall we date?#om! swd#om! shall we date#honestly not too proud of this one ;-;
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something like love
part - 4
pairing - paige bueckers x azzi fudd
word count - 5.3k
c/w - language, small amount of angst, some hurt/comfort. also kinda problematic paige but i get her
a/n - guess whoâs endo cramps are killing her!! thatâs right, me! fml. as usual this is unedited but iâll come back to edit later! also, i changed paigeâs step-dadâs name from tim to dean because i remembered that azziâs dad is named tim and i felt like that would be confusing lol. also, thank you so much for all the fic recs i got! iâm so excited to start working on them :3
Theyâre ten minutes into the thirty-minute car ride and nobody has said a word. Country music is playing quietly over the radio, and Dean and Amy keep glancing at each other. But the awkward silence is deadly.
Nobody spoke earlier, either. After Paige dropped the bomb. It was silent for a good minute before Dean had coughed loudly and turned back to the car, getting wordlessly into the driverâs seat. Amy stared at them for another minute or so, giving them no clue as to what was going on in her head other than her ears, which rapidly turned bright red. Finally, sheâd shook her head and said, âWe will talk about this when we get home,â before following her husband into the car.
As soon as they were both out of hearing range, Paige had sagged, and Azziâd looked over at her, concerned. Usually, sheâd lay a hand on her arm but she wasnât sure if Paige wanted to be touched, especially by her, so instead sheâd said, âRemember, we can leave anytime.â
Paige had nodded stiffly. And then, without looking at Azzi, sheâd gotten into the car as well, leaving the door open for Azzi to follow suit.
And now theyâre on the road, Paige and Azzi sitting in the back seat like two little kids in trouble. Azzi wants to go on her phone to avoid the awkwardness but her parents raised her to be polite, no matter the circumstances, so here she sits, stiff and awkward while she rides in this car that smells new and fancy and she hates it.
Chancing a glance over, Azzi sees that Paige is still staring out the window, the same thing sheâs been doing the whole car ride, and Azzi hates that, too, because Paige only ever gets quiet when sheâs bone-tired or truly upset. And Paige got a pretty good nap on the plane.
Based off the way she acted to Azziâs words before they got on the road, Azziâs pretty sure sheâs doing that thing where she shuts people out because sheâs mad or on the verge of tears or thinking too hard. And when she does this she can get mean, because sheâs trying to protect herself, and it comes out all wrong.
Sheâs always done this, been reluctant to open up about the hard stuff, shut out the people who care about her. She and Azzi have talked about it a lot. She once admitted that Azzi was the first person to get her to actually talk about her feelings. But despite Azziâs way with Paige, and despite the fact that they just get each other in a way no one else ever has, they still have their flaws. Azzi still doesnât always know the right thing to say. And Paige still gets mean.
This fact keeps Azzi glued to her seat, thinking sidling closer and trying to comfort her best friend would only end badly. Azzi acts like she has a tough skin but often, the things Paige says when she gets like this cut deep, and it ends with both of them hurt. Sheâs scared to add a fight between the two of them onto whatever will surely go on with Paige and her parents later. So she stays put, even though every bone in her body is telling her to make Paige better.
Azzi has only managed this for maybe five minutes when she glances over again and notices that this time, Paigeâs hand is splayed over the middle seat, fingers tapping anxiously, almost like sheâs subconsciously reaching over. And that sight alone is enough to get Azzi sliding over, moving Paigeâs hand so she doesnât sit on it. Dean looks at her through the rearview, but Azzi pretends not to notice.
Paige doesnât look over when Azzi settles in beside her. But she does reach blindly for her hand before taking it and placing it in her own lap, playing with the fingers nervously. Azzi breathes in relief. Paige hasnât rejected her outrightâshe canât be too upset. At least not yet.
They sit like that for the remainder of the ride.
When they pull into the driveway, Paige gives Azziâs hand a squeeze before subtly shaking herself out and exiting the car. Azzi follows, afraid to be alone with Paigeâs parents for even a second.
Before Paige can close the door, Amy calls, âBring your bags into your room, Paige. And when youâre done come down and talk to us in the kitchen.â Thereâs a weighted pause. âAlone.â
Paige doesnât answer, just slams the door shut. Azzi winces.
Azzi doesnât say anything while Paige opens the trunk, or when she starts aggressively pulling their things out, or even when she slams the trunk shut. No, Azzi keeps her mouth shut, wanting to allow her best friend to seethe in peace, but when Paige slams into her shoulder when she passes her, Azzi doesnât want to let it slide. âOw! Paige, what the fuck?â
âGet your bags,â Paige responds gruffly.
Okay, so itâs gonna be one of those times. Perfect.
Despite not wanting to, Azzi does as sheâs told, gathering her bags and following Paige to the front porch. She tries not to think about how usually Paige wouldâve carried her things for her.
Paige opens the door without a word and they walk inside. The house is nice, open, smells of cedarwood. Paige doesnât give Azzi a chance to look around, though, instead walking briskly to the staircase, lugging her shit upstairs with impressive strength, and Azzi thanks God sheâs in such good shape because sheâs practically jogging by the time they arrive at a room at the end of the hall.
âPaigeââ Azzi starts to stay, but Paige cuts her off by throwing her own backpack off her shoulder and dropping her suitcases, as if sheâs trying her hardest to make as much a ruckus as possible.
Azzi places her things much more nicely on her usual side of the bed, eyeing Paige cautiously the entire time. Itâs the only reason sheâs able to catch her before she leaves, anticipating her movements just like she does on the court and darting between her best friend and the door, blocking her.
For the first time in nearly an hour, Paige looks her in the eye, and thereâs fire there. âMove, Azzi.â
âNo.â
âGod,â Paige sighs, âseriously, donât piss me off. Get outta my way.â
âNo, Paige,â Azzi repeats, keeping her feet planted.
Paige stares at her and then shakes her head. âWhy are you being so fuckinâ annoying?â
âDonât,â Azzi says, trying to stop her before she gets too fired up, but itâs already started.
âNo, Azzi, you donât,â Paige snaps. âI knew you were gonna get like this, do your fuckinâ peace and love shit that you think will solve everyoneâs fucking problems.â
Azzi swallows hard. Itâs been years since Paige went on a rampage like this, and she opens her mouth to stop her, but is quickly interrupted.
âIt doesnât solve anything, dawg. It actually makes shit worse, because itâs so motherfucking annoying having you acting like everythingâs fine when you donât even know.â Paige shakes her head, taking a step towards her. âAnd thatâs the thing, is you really donât know but you wanna pretend like you do. You donât know what itâs like to have your mom fuckinâ leave you for some fuckass guy, for her to have new kids outta state and raise them to be hateful just like her. Just like him.â
At this point, Azzi has tears in her eyes, and she attempts desperately to swallow them down. âDid you forget that my dad fucking left me when I was a baby? Iâve never even fucking talked to him, Paige. He doesnât want shit to do with me.â
âThatâs not the same and you know it.â Paige sends her a withering glare, so different from the way she usually looks at Azzi. âYou have Tim. You have your mom and your brothers and they all love you so fucking much.â
âYou have your dad!â Azzi responds, throwing her hands in the air. âYou have Drew, you have Alora!â A tear escapes, against her will, and she wipes it furiously away. âYou have me, Paige,â she says, more quietly now. âI love you so fucking much. So you donât get to take this shit out on me and say mean things to hurt my feelings. Thatâs notâitâs not fair.â
As soon as she sees the tears welling in Azziâs eyes, Paige softens, her shoulders slumping, eyes turning on her with guilt rather than venom. âAz, donât cry.â
For some reason, this makes Azzi more mad, and she turns away to face the door, always having hated crying in front of others. âWell if you say mean shit to me, Iâm gonna cry, Paige,â she mumbles, though thereâs not much fire to her weak, shaky tone.
âHey, no, youâre right,â Paige reaches for Azziâs shoulder, trying to turn her around, but the tears have started now and theyâre not going to stop anytime soon so Azzi stays turned firmly away. âAzzi, Iâm sorry, I didnâtââ Paige cuts herself off on a sigh. Her hand falls off Azziâs shoulder, and for a second Azzi thinks sheâs going to walk away, but then a pair of arms wrap tenderly around her waist and Paigeâs chin is wresting on her shoulder. âIâm sorry, I shouldnât haveâI was wrong for that, I shouldntâve said any of that shit.â When Azzi doesnât respond, instead burying her face in her hands to try and hide what sheâs sure is an ugly cry, Paige squeezes her tighter. âAzzi, please donât cry, Iâm really sorry. Fuck, Iâm sorry, for real. I didnât mean any of it, I was just so scared about my parents and I took it out on you, I fucked up.â
Azzi nods into her hands, taking a deep breath to try and stop the embarrassing flow of emotion. âI know, Paige,â she tries, but it comes out sort of as a whimper and this only makes Paige circle around to stand in front of her, full-on hugging her now, burying her face in her neck and rubbing her back soothingly.
Theyâre silent for another moment before Paige says, âIâm serious, Az. I didnât mean any of it.â
Azzi knows this, fundamentally, but thereâs still a part of her that sort of cracked at hearing her best friend tell her that she was annoying, that her efforts to help always fall flat. âYou shouldnât have said it, then,â she stutters, letting Paige hold her close even as her face doesnât come out of its hiding spot.
âI know, I know, I shouldnât have. Youâre the only person who can ever make me feel better and Iâfuck. Azzi, Iâm sorry, I canât believeâI never wanna hurt you.â Paige lifts her head out of her neck to nuzzle into Azziâs hair, pressing a kiss to the spot just behind her ear. âNever wanna make you cry.â She plants another kiss there, and Azziâs breath hitches. From the crying or from something else, she doesnât know.
Sighing shakily, Azzi finally pulls her head out of her hands to look up at Paige, placing her hands at her chest almost as if sheâs about to push her away. Sheâs sure her mascara is ruined by now but she canât bring herself to care too much. âIt really hurt when you shoved me outside, too.â
A pained expression flits over Paigeâs face, and she nods, looking almost sick. âFuck. IâmâIâm sorry, Azzi. Iâm so sorry. Is your arm okay? Does it still hurt?â
Azzi canât take the guilty look on Paigeâs face and shakes her head no. It doesnât seem to relieve much of anything.
Breathing deeply, Paige closes her eyes and then leans her forehead against Azziâs, bringing her hands up from her waist to stroke over her tear-stained cheeks. âIâm sorry, baby,â she whispers, and Azziâs knows that the nickname wasnât a slip-up this time, wasnât just a habit from their pretending. âIâm really fuckinâ sorry.â
And with that, Azzi isnât mad anymore. Her feelings are still hurt and the things Paige said are still going to replay in her head for quite some time, but at least for now, Azzi just canât be mad. Because Paige is going through something she could never imagine going through.
âIâm sorry, too,â Azzi breathes, and Paige rears back, but before she can protest, Azzi says, âabout your parents. About this wholeâŚsituation.â She looks down at her hands on Paigeâs chest, and, deciding she wonât be needing to push her away anymore, she slides them up to her shoulders. âItâs shitty and youâre right, I donât know what itâs like to be in your position.â She shrugs, swallowing back the last couple tears that threaten to fall, trying to regain at least some of her composure. âIâm going to be here for you, okay? I always am.â
Paige nods. âI know you will.â
âAnd that means,â Azzi goes on, âyou canât do this again. You canât take it out on me. You canât push me away. Because that makes it really fucking hard for me to help you, and I want to help you.â
Paige nods again, more solemnly this time, moving her hands back to circle her waist. âYeah, yeah, I know, and Iâm so sorry forââ
Azzi holds a hand up to Paigeâs lips, effectively shutting her up. âOkay, stop. I accept your apology, I promise. Just, show me youâre sorry and donât do it again, yeah?â
âYeah,â Paige says. ââCourse.â
âGood.â Breathing mostly even now, Azzi pulls Paige in for another hug.
With a heavy sigh, Paige hugs her back. âWeâre in it together, hm? From now on, together.â
Azzi rests her cheek on Paigeâs shoulder, the weight of her arms around her, the feeling of her skin and bones, so familiar. âYeah. Together.â
Paige pulls back just enough to look at her, and when Azzi reciprocates, sheâs uneasy to find that Paige is giving her that same new look. The perplexed, maybe enthralled?, almost worried look that has taken over her face more often than can be explained ever since the first time after their kiss. Azzi really wants to work out what it means.
But, as always, Paige corrects herself and itâs gone as fast as it arrived. âWeâre good?â
Azzi nods, smiling softly despite herself. âYeah, P. Weâre good.â
âââââââââââââ
Paige has been downstairs with her parents for nearly an hour.
From what Azzi can hear from her spot at the top of the stairs, it doesnât sound to be going too well. The three of them keep going from yelling to whisper-yelling to yelling again, and Azzi swears Amy has cried like five times at this point.
When Azzi hears Dean say, âWe just donât allow sinners in this house, Paige,â and Paige snap back, âDo not use God against me right now!â Azzi figures it might be time to intervene.
Trying to come up with something quickly, she pulls out her phone and dials Paigeâs number. She hears Paigeâs phone ring downstairs, and the three of them go quiet before Paige says, âJustâone second,â and then thereâs a click on the other line and sheâs answering. âUm, hi?â
âPretend Iâm your dad,â Azzi says, hoping sheâs not on speaker.
âWhat?â
âJust pretend Iâm your dad, Paige. Seriously.â
âUh, okay.â The line gets a little muffled and Paige says, âItâs dad.â Azzi can hear both Amy and Dean let out audible groans downstairs.
âOkay, now tell them that Iâyour dadâam offering to fly you home.â
âIâŚwhaââ Azzi can tell Paige wants to argue but canât with her parents right in front of her, so instead she sighs and the line goes muffled again. âHeâs, um, heâs offering to fly me home.â
Azzi only has a second to hope and pray that Amy shares Paigeâs competitive nature before Amy is saying, âWhat? You told him about this?â
âNo,â Paige answers, âhe just knows how youâre like now. And he wants Azzi and I to have a good summer, not a shitty one with shitty people.���
âIf you want to go back to your dadâs, go,â Dean says, and Azziâs heart sinks. Maybe this wonât work.
But then, bless her evil, horrible soul, Amy is stepping in. âNo. Absolutely not. I will never hear the end of it if we send you to your father after inviting you over. We justâŚâ Amy sighs, and Azzi thinks she can hear her start crying again. âWe want whatâs best for you, Paige.â
Itâs silent for a moment. And then, âLet me be happy, Mom. Let me see my siblings. Let me and my girlfriend have a good trip with yâall.â
Dean interjects. âWe really donât believe in this kind of stuff.â
âI donât care,â Paige replies viciously. âI love Azzi. It doesnât matter that sheâs a fuckinâ girl. IâŚâ Paige pauses, quite abruptly, and Azzi wonders if something happened. But then she hears a heavy inhalation and a quiet, âI love her, Mom.â
Azzi knows itâs for the act, but she canât help the way her stomach somersaults, hearing the words sheâs always wished Paige would say.
âAnd it doesnât matter what you think of it,â Paige continues. âIâm happy. My faith is strong. And what goes on between me and God isnât your fucking business.â
âLanguage,â Amy says immediately. But then itâs silent for another weighted moment and Azzi can imagine Amy and Dean sharing that knowing, judgmental look of theirs. Her heart races while she waits for a consensus, and sheâs sure itâs 100 times worse for Paige. But after a few moments, Amy says, âTell your father that youâre staying here with us. Your siblings will be home tomorrow morning. The four of us adults have a reservation at a restaurant tonight, and weâre all going to go.â
âMomââ
âWe will try,â Amy sighs. âAzziâs a nice girl. We willâweâll try.â Thereâs something tired in her voice when she says, âRight, Dean?â
No answer. But Azzi can imagine him nodding gruffly, and a moment later, with no more words from any of them, Paige appears at the bottom of the stairs. She startles a little when she sees Azzi sitting there at the top.
âHi,â Azzi says sheepishly, finally disconnecting their call. âI was eavesdropping.â
Paige stares at her, and then starts climbing the stairs, a small smile overtaking their face. âThanks for saving me.â
âI told you I would,â Azzi replies, waiting for Paige at the top. âSo. Dinner with your parents tonight.â
âYeah. I guess.â Paige gets to the second-top step and stays there, so sheâs just a little shorter than Azzi.
âDinner as a fake lesbian couple with your homophobic parents,â Azzi clarifies, and Paige laughs nervously.
âUh-huh,â she responds. âI think we needa nap before that.â
âOh, yeah,â Azzi agrees, pulling Paige up to stand with her. âThat is an amazing idea.â
ââââââââââââââ
Azzi is rudely awoken to none other than an old Tyler, The Creator song blasting through the tinny speakers of Paigeâs phone. Azzi groans, and she blindly reaches out for Paige to turn the damn thing off, but her hands only find cold bedsheets. Annoyed, Azzi cracks her eyes open and tries desperately to find Paigeâs phone, realizing in the process that Paigeâs side of the bed is cold. Strange, considering they still have two hours until dinner.
Finally, after probably thirty seconds of this stupid song playing over and over again, Azzi finds the phone tangled up in the bedsheets and slams the off button. Itâs sort of pointless, though, because now sheâs very much awake and will not be going back to bed.
She sits up in Paigeâs bed, rubbing her eyes and looking around the room. The sun is shining through the curtains, reflecting off the mirror above the vanity and showcasing the off-white walls, the pink door to the adjoining bathroomâwhich Azzi now realizes is in use, the sound of the shower muffled through the door. She hadnât noticed before because Paige isnât awfully singing to some Mariah Carey song. Other than the water, itâs dead quiet in there. She must be nervous.
Fiddling with the pink sheets, Azzi feels nervous, too. Usually, merely being in Paigeâs space comforts her, but this roomâit doesnât feel like Paige. It doesnât smell like her, and itâs too pink. Thereâs no purple at all, actually. And the vanityâPaige has never known how to do much else other than mascara. In high school, she needed Azzi to tell her what concealer was for, and to teach her how to curl her lashes. She certainly wouldnât have use for an entire vanity dedicated to makeup. The walls are also decorated with cringy, sort of Bible-thumping quotes and paintings of flowers. Thereâs not a single basketball poster.
No, this room isnât Paige at all and Azzi feels an ache in her heart, thinking about how out-of-place she must have felt whenever she came to visit as a kid. How out-of-place she must feel now.
Without Paige to talk to, and without her room to comfort her, Azzi settles for laying on Paigeâs side of the bed, burying her face in the blankets, and there she isâvanilla, like her hair products, and lavender, like the lotion she wears and the linen spray she uses, because it calms her down.
Azzi thinks she just might fall back asleep, enveloped in Paigeâs scent, but then the door to the bathroom opens and steam billows out just before Paige does, wrapped in a towel, hair wet down her shoulders. Azzi only has a second to ogle the water drops adorning Paigeâs collarbones before sheâs spotted, and Paige gives her a curious look. âYou still sleep? I left my phone here so the alarm would wake you up.â
âYeah, no, it did,â Azzi says, sitting up quickly, before she looks like a weirdo snuggling up in Paigeâs spot. âJust tryinâ to hype myself up for dinner.â
Paige gives her a commiserating look. âMe too. Iâm shitting my pants, for real.â
âThat why you couldnât sleep?â Azzi asks, stretching out her back and swinging her legs over the side of the bed.
Paige hums, bending down to rifle around in her suitcase. âIâon even know what to wear. Apparently itâs some fancy restaurant but Iâm not wearing a fucking dress.â
Azzi laughs at that, lifting her hands when Paige shoots a glare over her shoulder. âIâm serious, dawg! And itâs not like I brought a suit or nothing.â
âI think youâre overthinking it,â Azzi says, standing up. âJust wear jeans and tuck a t-shirt or something. Youâll look cute no matter what.â
Paige straights up and gives her a cocky grin. âYou think all that?â
âChill, P,â Azzi rolls her eyes, shoving Paigeâs shoulder a little.
âWhat were you doing on my side of the bed, anyway?â Paige asks, and Azzi canât help the way she freezes. Sheâd thought Paige hadnât noticed.
Trying to cover her reaction, she shrugs casually. âI didnât know you owned the right side of the bed.â
âNah, weâve always had our sides,â Paige shakes her head, taking a step closer. âWhy was you all cuddled up in mine?â
âOh, I dunno,â Azzi says, trying for sarcastic but she canât even really make eye contact, âmaybe I rolled over or something.â
âPlease. You donât move in your sleep.â
âMaybe I do. You donât know.â
âI think Iâve slept with you more often than Iâve slept alone,â Paige scoffs, taking a step even closer so that theyâre practically chest-to-chest. âI know damn well.â
âOkay, seriously,â Azzi says, taking a small step back and stumbling when her thighs hit the bed, âgo get dressed, you weirdo.â
âMm,â Paige says, pretending to think about it. But before Azzi can move away, she grabs her waist and they both fall onto the bed while Paige starts to tickle her like crazy.
âPaige!â Azzi screams, laughing so hard she almost canât breathe. âGetâoff, oh my God!â
Paige is laughing right along with her, and itâs a miracle her towel hasnât dropped yet. âTell me the truth!â
âWhat theâŚâ Azzi giggles and squeals when Paige goes for her armpit, âfuck!â
âI wonât stop âtill you admit it!â
âOkay, fuck, okay!â Azzi pushes Paige off her, and Paige lets up just enough for her to gasp and say, âIt smelled like you, okay? The sheets, theyâŚâ Paige has stopped completely now, staring at her with a shit-eating grin on her stupid face, âthey smell like you.â
âUh-huh,â Paige replies, âand you missed me so much while I was in the shower that you needed to smell my sheets?â She jabs her one more time in the ribs, making Azzi shriek, before rolling off her. âYou lil creep.â
âIt wasnât like that!â Azzi insists, even though thatâs exactly what it was like. âNow, seriously, go get dressed. You got me all wet.â
What Azzi means by that, of course, is that Paigeâs damp towel and sopping hair had transferred to Azziâs own clothes and hair. But Paige canât be normal about anything, so she looks over and grins slyly.
âDonât,â Azzi sighs.
âOh, no, itâs okay,â Paige says, sitting up in bed and pulling Azzi up with her. âYou donât gotta be embarrassed. I know I make a lotta girls wet.â
âStop being weird,â Azzi says, as Paige bends down once again to pull an outfit from her suitcase.
She begins walking back to the bathroom. âIâm not the one who gets turned on by tickling,â Paige calls over her shoulder. Just before she closes the bathroom door behind her, she says, âDonât worry, we can take care of you after dinner, mama,â and winks at her.
Azziâs shoe hits the door just as it clicks shut.
âââââââââââââ
They drive to the restaurant in silence.
Itâs similar to their car ride from the airport, though it is a little less tense than before. Paige isnât fidgeting too much beside her and her parents arenât giving each other looks the entire time. Thatâs gotta be a good sign.
When they arrive at the restaurant, Amy and Dean start chatting idly, Paige and Azzi trailing behind when they walk inside the fancy building and give the hostess their reservation.
Itâs only when theyâre finally seated that they are addressed.
âSo, girls,â Amy says, her voice all forced cheerfulness, âwhat looks good?â
âI dunno,â Paige mumbles, and Azzi kicks her under the table before saying, âHave you guys ever been here before?â
Amy looks a little startled at Azziâs voice, but she recovers quickly, looking over at Dean with a forced smile. âOh, yeah, we come here sometimes.â
Azzi smiles politely. âWhat do you suggest, then?â
âUm,â Amy says, and then she sort of jerks and Dean winces, and Azziâs sure Amy has also just kicked him under the table.
Apparently well-trained, he speaks immediately. âWe love the spinach ricotta.â
Azzi hums, then nudges Paige. âThat sounds good, right?â
âUhâŚâ Paige looks like she wants to be difficult, but then she sees the warning stare Azzi is giving her and straightens up a little, âyeah, yeah. Sounds good.â
âWanna share?â
Paige sighs, but luckily itâs barely audible. âYeah, sure. Letâs share.â
Azzi leaves herself out of the conversation after that, letting Paige answer her parentsâ conversation starters. When the waitress comes to take their orders, Paige gets a glass of wine for the both of them. Neither of them really like wine, but it seems classy enough and it might take the edge off just enough that they can actually get through the night unscathed.
Itâs not until their dinner arrives that Azzi is addressed again.
âSo, Azzi,â Dean says, out of nowhere, âHowâs the knee?â
Azziâs hand goes subconsciously to her surgery scars. âDoing better. PTâs been going good.â
âGood, good.â He leans back in his seat, and Azzi senses trouble. Something about the way Paige protectively rests her arm across the back of Azziâs seat makes her think she senses it, too.
âYou get injured a lot, huh?â He asks.
Azzi sort of hates the way her face gets hot, hoping it doesnât show up on her brown skin. âIâve torn my ACL twice, yeah.â
âAnd your meniscus, right?â he prods.
Without really noticing it, Azzi looks over to Paige, and thatâs apparently all Paige needs to jump in. âHey, letâs not talk about it.â
âWhy not?â Dean asks, scoffing. Amy is looking between the three of them nervously. âItâs hard not to talk about. Azzi, you donât even play basketball at this point.â
âUm,â Azzi replies, her instincts telling her to get hot-headed but with the way Paige is buzzing beside her, sheâs gonna need to keep her cool.
âWhat the hell?â Paige says, her hand going from the chair to Azziâs shoulder. She looks at Amy. âMom, you said this wouldnât happen.â
âYour father is just asking a few questionsââ
âHeâs not my fucking dad!â Paige exclaims, and Azzi jerks as sheâs pulled into Paigeâs side. âI already have a dad! He raised me, he loves me, Mom, and heâd never say this shit about Azzi.â Angrily, Paige stands up, tossing a few bills onto the counter and helping Azzi to stand beside her.
âSweetheart,â Amy says, reaching limply for her daughter while Dean sits beside her looking far too smug. âPaige, where are you going? Weâre your ride.â
âWeâll Uber,â Paige responds, wrapping an arm around Azziâs waist. âIâm not gonna make her sit through your bullshit because you donât know how to act like a decent fucking human being.â
âHe was just askingâ,â Any starts, sounding exasperated, but Paige cuts her off.
âYou know what he was doing.â She glares at Dean, who shakes his head, smirking. âWeâll go back to the house,â she sneers. âBut if this doesnât change by tomorrow weâre leaving.â
And with that, she takes Azzi hands and leads them both out into the night.
âââââââââââââ
Paige keeps it together until they get to the house.
As soon as theyâre stepping through the door, she turns away from Azzi and leans down to untie her shoes. Azzi does the same, but she doesnât miss the sniffling sounds coming from her best friend.
Paige refuses to look at her when they start heading upstairs, and she tries to make a beeline for the bathroom once they close her bedroom door shut behind them. But Azzi stops her, placing a gentle hand on her arm. âP?â
Another sniffle. And then a quick wipe at her face before sheâs turning around, trying to look nonchalant but her eyes are red and her lip is trembling. âYeah?â
âPaige,â Azzi says softly, and Paige crumbles, hands coming up to her face as she starts crying.
Azzi steps forward to hug her, pulling her down to hide in her chest. âIâm sorry, P. Iâm so sorry, thisâthis sucks.â
âIâm sorry,â Paige replies, voice all small and muffled in a way that makes Azziâs heart hurt. âI thought they were gonna tryâŚI wouldnât have taken you out with them if I knewâŚâ
âHey, itâs all good,â Azzi responds, running a hand through Paigeâs hair. âI didnât mind, really. Iâve heard worse.â
This is apparently the wrong thing to say, because Paige just cries harder. âFuck, Az, you shouldnât have to do this.â She lifts her head up to look at her, and Azzi absently wipes her face. âThis sucks. Itâs the first week of summer and IâI was shitty to you and now my parents, and Iââ
âPaige,â Azzi says sternly. âI wouldnât have agreed to this if I couldnât handle it. I can handle it. Itâs you that Iâm worried about.â
Paige nods, sniffling again. âYou donât gotta worry. Iâm fine.â
âYouâre obviously not fine, P,â Azzi says, and Paige winces, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her shirt.
âIâm okay,â Paige insists. âReally. As long as we do this together, Iâm okay.â
She straightens up like sheâs steeling herself, and Azzi thinks maybe she should do the same.
This is only the first day of their two-week stay.
Itâs going to be a long trip.
@azzibuckets @smiths-fan--13 @ch12334 @makethemhoesmad @the-other-half @rosemariiaa
#azzi fudd#paige bueckers#pazzi#pazzi fics#uconn wbb#wbb#wcbb#fake dating#paige buckets#the people's princess
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Random Astrology Observations (Alternative Meanings Love Edition) đ¤¨â¤ď¸đ¤
DISCLAIMER: I am in no way, shape or form a professional astrologer, modern or traditional.
I HAVE been studying astrology for a while now, and analysing charts available to me, as well as my own, and noticed a lot of the info you find online doesn't make sense in real life, because it is too reductive, stereotypical or lacks broader context. So I thought I'd share some of my personal observations to see if it resonates with anyone.
This is NOT the end all, be all. Apply it as it makes sense to you.
PS: I don't know how to edit posts, and this is my first Tumblr post, so it's not gonna look pretty.
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The 10th House đ°ď¸
The 10H gets reduced to "career and work", but it goes much further than that. The 10th house represents your highest honors, which, in a capitalist modern world, will often be directly linked to your career success, but it's not the success that's built around the career. It's the other way around. It talks about the career that leads you to success. The main point is NOT working itself, but success. 10H will also describe your public image, your reputation, your public persona, your long-term goals, your social influence, your social status, your legacy and the image you wanna project.
(e.g.: your biggest legacy could have nothing to do with something that made you money in this life. It could have been starting a non-profit that changed lots of lives. Or you could become prestigious in your social circle for your personality, which presents you with opportunities in life that aren't directly connected to acquiring material things [because the 2H is the house of materials and possessions])
Going off of the first topic â 10H synastry, specially house overlays â does NOT mean workplace romance. In fact, your significant other may not even work or, if they do, may not even work in the same field as you, let alone be co-workers. Like I said, the 10H is much larger than "career", but also, career and work are not exactly the same thing. If they do happen to be involved in your career, it may have nothing to do with your workplace directly, but with your career in a general sense. So, instead of meeting at WORK, being co-workers, and all the reductive things people claim, you could meet them through your CAREER.
(e.g.: You work at an insurance company, but are studying to become a lawyer, and you happen to attend a conference related to the lawyer part of your ambitions, not your actual job, and there you meet your significant other./You work as a waitress, but your dream of becoming a model. So you attend an event to network with people in the modeling industry, and there you meet your significant other, but they just happen to be somebody's friend who got invited to go to the event, even though they themselves are not in the industry at all).
Since the 10H also rules your highest self, your "best case scenario", and your status and legacy, having 10H synastry with someone could simply mean they will change your life significantly, either positively or negatively. They will shift the foundations of how you are perceived and perceive yourself, and may even change your status in life. In that sense, the person who eventually becomes your spouse and the parent of your children could have 10H synastry with you. They will have changed your public status, as well as your legacy. Broaden your perspectives without thinking of keywords.
The 9th House đ
A lot of astro observations are very Americanized/Euro-centric, and lack perspective and social and cultural context. The 9H is much broader than "foreign things". In fact, it's the most expansive house of all 12, so to reduce that "expansiveness" to foreign travel because it's big and wide is too simplistic, and doesn't take into account people whose realities simply do not include access or contact to foreign cultures and places. It COULD indicate foreign travel and cultures, but it will most likely be "foreign" in the context of abstract things, such as beliefs, philosophy and worldview. The "traveling" of the 9H also does NOT have to be literal, and could very often mean intellectual and moral, such as "traveling" through the acquiring of knowledge, or "traveling" through exploring new spiritual practices and teachings.
(e.g.: The 9H will talk of higher education, but that's not a reality for a large portion of the world. So, instead of thinking in terms of university, think more of "higher education" in terms of evolving studying of concepts and notions. In that regard, life experience is ALSO included in the 9H)
Going off of the previous topic â 9H placements do NOT immediately mean you will marry a foreigner, or somebody from a different race/ethnicity/culture, or even that you will definitely travel abroad and meet somebody there. Not only is the idea of just up and moving to another country like it's nothing wildly unrealistic, it centers itself in the easy access Americans and Europeans have to foreign travel. Most of the world outside of those places will either not have the financial means to make foreign travel that easily, nor will they have political access to it (such as a passport that allows them to travel to other countries with no restrictions). Most people will not ever even leave their country by the time they've reached life milestones like marriage, job and children. Not only that â but the extreme racial divide seen in the United States is a very particular and individual experience, only seen also in major European countries (so very Caucasian-centric). Most people will not be making huge deals about marrying somebody who's from Korea, or Africa, or Brazil, or India, as if they were a totally different type of species.
(So the whole ordeal about "you will marry someone from a different race/culture is bogus. Countries like Brazil have a VERY diverse population, yet, they are very seamlessly integrated, so being of black, white, asian, Arab descent is not relevant, as they will see themselves as "just Brazilians" living the same Brazilian experience over all, regardless of their ethnicity.)
Having 9H love placements (such as Venus, Mars or Jupiter, and Juno) or having 9H synastry with someone very likely will not indicate a foreigner or finding love/starting a relationship abroad. It will 9 times out of 10 indicate somebody who expands your horizons, somebody who makes you question things and seek deeper understanding of the world around you, somebody who challenges your mind and spirit, somebody who will expose you to new and inventive ways of seeing, understanding and interacting with the world. That COULD mean they do that because they come from a different country or cultural background. But it could also mean they just think and act very fundamentally different from YOUR personal culture, and will bring up topics that teach you new ways to approach life. Not to mention that it could just describe accessing different cultures THROUGH them.
(e.g.: You and your spouse may be from the very same country and very same race, but upon getting together, you two end up moving to an area that has a lot of foreigners in it, a large population of foreigners, or through your partner you become acquainted with mutual friends who come from a vastly different cultural background than your own, and that, in turn, expands your worldview as if you yourself had traveled to another country or learned about another culture directly./ Or, to put it in more plain terms, your partner may just be a very freaking smart and knowledgeable person who teaches you things you would only learn in college.)
Still, with that said, the basic repeated meanings you see online COULD also still apply here, for anyone, but specially if you are white and from a country from the Northern hemisphere, as those descriptions apply more to their individual realities.
The 6th House đ§š
The 6H deals with daily, repetitive, routine things, which is why it deals with work, health and caretaking, because those are repetitive, orderly, constant tasks.
(Just like 10H is a "career" house, but it is not necessarily a "money house", the 6H is a "work" house, but not necessarily a money house. The money houses are the 2H (which deals with money you earn yourself), the 8H (which deals with money your manage for or earn from other people's possessions, such as an inheritance or your spouse's money), and â to an extent â the 11H (since it deals with "struck of luck" moments and could indicate coming into unexpected money).
You are more likely to date a co-worker having 6H love placements or 6H synastry than you are with the 10H, because the 10H deals with CAREER, which is not necessarily your workplace itself (could be a side business you're trying to take off), while the 6H deals with WORK itself. Since the 6H deals with daily routines, and a co-worker is someone you see on a daily basis at work.
(Not to be confused with the business-related side of the 7H, which will talk of business partners or having a business with your partner. It's like: the 10H will have your partner RELATED to your career somehow, but maybe not directly. The 6H will have your partner be a co-worker, but not necessarily share your career goals and plans. The 7H MAY describe starting a business with your partner eventually.)
Health is another thing that may or may not be a key factor in your relationship, or even for a long time. You might have 6H synastry and health never becomes a theme of your connection. You might be dating for 5 years and health is never a theme, and then you get married and for most of your marriage health is still not a thing. But then, by the time you two are old, one of you may develop a condition and the other one becomes your caretaker. Or another aspect of the 6H that is not talked about is daily life with your children together. The 6H is not the house of children, but the routine of taking care of a child together night be influenced by the 6H synastry, depending on the sign its happening in.
The 11th House đŤ
The 11H is VERY underrated for romance, because it doesn't manifest as quickly as people think romance and passion should. But it is, in fact, an extremely powerful house for synastry, when combined with other romance-inducing aspects. The 11H deals with, amongst other things, friendship. You'll often find that having 11H overlays/synastry means a platonic relationship or, at the very best, one-sided, but that only happens if there are no other aspects pointing towards romance â HEALTHY romance.
(It's also important to note that 11H synastry is deeper than people think. Just because it's a social house doesn't mean it's a detached house. Houses and signs are not the same thing. Aquarius ruling the 11H and Aquarius being stereotypically described as emotionally detached does not mean 11H synastry is detached. On the contrary, the 11H is very deep because it is the house of hopes, life dreams and aspirations, so it will describe things we idealize in a very pure and hopeful way.)
With 11H synastry, specially moon, Venus, Mars and â sometimes, Sun, if it's a water sign â, there will be a very strong bond of friendship, regardless of other layers to that relationship. And who do we trust more, if not our friends? Those are people we are not related to by blood or law, who do not share our immediate environment, whom we have no obligation to whatsoever, but we choose to give them unopposed access to our private world. So with 11H synastry between lovers, there is a deep foundation of friendship, which means that if it ends badly, it will have a very painful effect on the psyche and heart, because it will feel like losing a lover AND a best friend.
(That means that 11H includes a very important component of TRUST, an aspect that is only talked about with the 4th and 8th houses, but is also present in the 11th. Both for comfortability and feeling of betrayal. Also, that intensity also comes from the fact that with 11H synastry people tend to project their hopes and dreams onto each other. Like thinking they are the best person ever, all-in-one, ticking all the boxes, lover AND friend... So if that breaks at some point, it can make people feel really stupid and embarrassed.)
Like I said, 11H synastry in romance doesn't play out as quickly as people think love should be, so it gets dismissed in the romance department. But the 11H is a Saturn house. It takes time, and it needs structure. It means that friendship will ALWAYS come before romance. Now, does that mean that people will always be friends-to-lovers? No. They might start off as lovers, but they won't reach the potential of their intimacy until there's a well-established foundation of camaraderie and friendship, and once they do, that bond becomes very unbreakable, because they become partners in crime and each other's favorite person. IF IT'S IN A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH OTHER ROMANCE ASPECTS.
General Things â¨
ASTROLOGY is NOT MAGIC. It will not cause anything to happen in your life. Don't just rely on placements and aspects. It means absolutely NOTHING if you got 4H synastry with the one you love, but you yourself have problematic 4H/moon aspects in your natal chart that you do nothing to work on (and vice versa). That 4H synastry could turn toxic at the snap of a finger, and no amount of "comfort" is gonna prevent it. If you can't process your emotions well, you could date all the Cancers you want, or you could be a cancer yourself, you WILL NOT engage emotionally in a healthy way. You can't give nor receive something you don't have or don't understand. So, instead, learn about the makeup of your charts, but then use it as a study to improve yourselves, not just to think you will magically live in a Disney movie happily ever after just because his Venus falls in your 4H.
Astrology is not a hurricane. Not all things are happening at the same time all the time at all times, as of they were things flying around in a chaotic hurricane. The energies of your individual natal charts, as well as the energies of your synastry will play out in their own time, and may play out slowly, over time. Like house overlays, for example. One particular aspect of the 2H may play out at the beginning of the relationship, but if you eventually get married, another side of the 2H synastry may be unlocked. Or your husband could have an specific placement for his love life that will not be activated until he gets married, which means that for the entire time you are just dating, those things will not be happening. As with all things in life, astrology follows its natural course, and develops and changes over time.
Astrology does not bless or doom a relationship. It won't tell you whether you can/should or not be with someone. It doesn't MAKE YOU do anything. However, for the relationships that end in catastrophe, you can always go back and check the synastry/composite, and it will probably be obvious there, you just couldn't see it before. With that I don't mean to go out planing your life and connections around astrology, because that's very impractical, unrealistic and low-key immature, as people are ALWAYS growing and maturing. But I AM saying that if you are in a relationship that feels draining, toxic, abusive, unstable 24/7... trust the synastry, because you're probably trying to force something that is very clearly laid out for you, and that ONE or two nice aspects or placements are not gonna save you from obvious ruin. BE RATIONAL.
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That's it! Thank you if you've read it this far!
I might have come off a bit harsh (I hope I haven't), but I promise I'm nice lol.
Hopefully this resonates, as well as helps somebody understand a bit more. This was my first post, so it's a bit clumsy, but do let me know if you'd like me to share some more thoughts on astrology, and I might do another round.
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#synastry#Astrology#Astrology Observations#Astro observations#Synastry observations#Astro notes#Zodiac#composite chart
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