#its a fuckin process
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any advice for new girls
like tgirls? hm.. im not a trans girl so im pulling from my experience as black trans person whos struggled w being able to be feminine.
i guess if i had to say, do it weird, do it the way it makes you happy. eurocentric beauty standards and white supermacist/patriarichal caricatures have already said their piece about us, but gender expression is so much more than just masc and fem.
if passing feels so far a way, what can you do instead to distance yourself from an image you’ve at best felt neutral about and at worst hated. a lot of alt subcultures were pioneered by queer and/or people of color! do u see something thats wormed its way into ur brain but thought maybe this could only be for other people? go for ittt, build up your collection of cool shit. ofc theres the issue of money, but there has always been broke alt people, you can always find tips online. through those, you can find community and people more than delighted to see you for who you are.
AND.. and and and and, pleaaaseee do not be comparing yourself to white skinny girls on the internet, find models that look like YOU. trans women who have gotten weird with it and are vocal about their own journeys. you do not need E to be a woman, and though the people irl may think so, life is a transitory (lol) process. you dont just suddenly look like the woman you’ve always dreamed of, work on the foundation and your self confidence as you grow. also be safe, i love you.
#its a fuckin process#d talks#ask#no ones like explaining the best way how to exist comfortably in your skin and it sucks bad. and usually if they are they just want you to#conform in one way or the other so watch out for that
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#art#my art#mspaint#rowens liddol guys#i got testosterone :3#not liek today its been like#2 weeks sence i got my first injection#my healthcare provider fucked alot of stuff up during the whole process so#ive been kind of upset lately becsause like#it should not be this fuckin hard#but whatrever#i am over it (lieing)#biblically accurate rowen#almost forgor that one
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terzo sure does love his ghouls!
#my art#the band ghost#terzo#alpha ghoul#omega ghoul#papa emeritus iii#terzo fanart#terzomega#terzo x omega x alpha#ghost band fanart#terzalpha#terzo x alpha#ghost fanart#in this house we also stan the OT3 pair of terzo and his ghouls#what do you think went down during their acoustic tours when it was just the three of them???? the world may never know.#i feel like with alpha & terzo its very much all flirtatious teasing and alpha just doesnt know how to fuckin process it.#alpha is actually just socially awkward hothead who doesnt know how to act around the flamboyant and unpredictable terzo#its ok when it comes to omega they both care and love him dearly.#the trio that are friends two of which are dating and the other had a thing for the friend but still cares about him dearly and vice versa
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Alright yeah I want/need to do all of this so let's try this out.
25 notes = Finish crocheting bearded dragon from scrap yarn
75 notes = Find and finish crocheting owl and crochet his crown
125 notes = Start using a self care app again
150 notes = Crochet a seagull plush
175 notes = Track my sleep again
250 notes = Crochet my fursona plush
300 notes = Begin learning C#
400 notes = Try again at learning pixel art
600 notes = Set a consistent schedule for showering and actually follow it
800 notes = Begin work on a Rain World mod
1200 notes = Try to get hired as a page at the local library
1750 notes = Buy a chest binder
2500 notes = Finally resume therapy and try to get a different therapist
5000 notes = Clean my room? Might change this one if I can think of something more important, but for now it sticks
OLD 5K NOTES GOAL, NO LONGER APPLICABLE: Come out to relatives as non-binary and tell them my new name (yeah this one just kinda Happened lol, it was surreal)
And some tags!
@fymo-blogs @therewillbenoromance @theshaddowedsnow @wxtchesheart @the-principality-of-sealand @non-tyrannical-usa (sorry countryverse members I don't have big moots lol)
#if i didnt make the numbers absurd i was going to be mauled publicly by my own brain#and the rain world mod is so high up because i just know itll be a fuckin PROCESS </3#i tried to sprinkle more enticing tasks in among the difficult ones to help convince myself to make this#see: chest binder in between the Three Scary Tasks#im not even shit at pixel art its just hard#anyways now to the proper tags#notes goal#note goals#fuck else do i tag this as#note game#notes game#yeah that feels sufficient#bye now
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#klawf#doing these two late at night as opposed to early in the morning. still trying to find a schedule that works for me with this new job#and the work has been ramping up a bit recently. this one i just somewhat Forgot to do all day#typically i like to do them before i start working on anything else. but i just. forgot! this time#uhm. anyway i never really processed how this thing looks until now? it's like. a boss and everything. but i never Really looked at its eye#i know biologically there's probably a crab like this. fuckin mr krabs looks like this. but. huh!#never looked at it this closely. was more focused on figuring out what type it was so i could beat it faster
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OOH YEAH BABY! PARTY TIME BABY! MUSIC! DRINKS! SOCIAL PRESSURE & A PSYCHEDELIC BREAK DOWN! WELCOME TO VAMPIRE SOCIETY MOTHERFUCKER! ARE YOU SCARED? DO YOU UNDERSTAND YET? ITS OKAY IF NOT. FIRE DISSOLVED IT! ITS ALL GONE NOW. HAVE FUN!
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi suckening#jrwi suckening spoilers#RRAAHH IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SHOW SOOO GOODDAMN MUCH!! each o these characters has STOLEN my HEART!!!#LIKE EMIZEEELLL i love emizel so much.. runnin around announcing that HE isa PRINCE while shiloh FINALLY quietly clicks the pieces together#nathan hanover you MADMAN!!! that slow dramatic guitar riff as emizel makes that announcement was so fuckin COOL UGHHHH#MR HANOVER DOES IT AGAIN just creating tracks that absoultely WORM into my MIND and HHEAARRT UUGHHGHH#emizel is so cool and so funny and so adorable UUGHH ill gush abt him more when i finally post my emizel n soda doodle page#ARTHUR FUCKING BENNET. i totally get why grizz has a hard time playing him. hes cool and stoic n its not easy to play a man o little words#BUT BBOOOY DOES HE DO IT WELL!! arthur DOES come off as so stoic n cool & it just makes his lil misfortunes all the more charming#like falling into the red fear or confrontin edward twilight or accidentally doing lsd. I LOVE THATS HES THE BAD LUCK GUY.#okay uhhu uhh i have limited room here what else should i say uhh. THE NPCS. MY GOD THE NPCS. CHARLIE U WONDERFUL MADMAN#edward twilight is SUCH a funny fucking antagonist. and supposedly his magic stuff is super scary?? SO EXCITED TO SEE MORE OF THAT#ill ramble abt mr deacon keller later eheh i have a. uh. a doodle page in the works. so in the meantime DAYBRINGER SOLOMON!!#“HERE COMES THE SUN MOTHERFUCKER!” “ILL SEE YOU IN HELL. NOT. IM GOING TO HEAVEN. BITCH.” like come on now. oh my god. i need him#BIG POWERFUL BEAST AND EVERY WORD HE SAYS HAS ME CRACKING UP. THE MUFFLED VOICE IN THE DARK BROKEN BY “LIGHT!”#TRULY HILARIOUS AND YET TRULY HORRIFYING. I FUCKIN LOVE CHARLIE NPCS SO MUCH. I HOPE WE SEE HIM AGAIN OHH MY GOOOODDD#OKAYokay. im normal now. ill talk abt the piece. if u read my tags this far then u get special secret knowledge abt the artistic process#IM VERY HAPPY WITH MY COLORS! i know they were hallucinating on drugs so i just recalled the times i did drugs & used that as my influence#REMEMBER KIDS! acid is totally fine if ur safe and responsible about it. do acid and then stare at my art for a bit trrruuust me. IT MOVES!#anyway i think thats all my thoughts here. thank you for looking at my art n thanku if ur one o the ppl that says nice things in the tags#U are LITERLY my life blood i pick up each of u n kiss u so sweetly on the head. remember to try acid!!!!
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I don't have any money cuz I had to pay my housemates rent and he hasn't paid all of it back yet so I texted him this morning like hey are you able to pay me back 180 so I can take pollux to the vet but he could only give me 100 so now she just gets to suffer I guess
#I am kind of irritated about the rent thing anyway#because it was late to the point that our landlord was pretty much like if you don't pay this I'll start the eviction process#and my housemate just didn't say anything to any of us?#and then I paid it and he's not able to pay me back rn and I'm like. what was your plan dude#like what was the fuckin plan there#this is sort of a reoccurring problem which I think is another reason why its irritating me#plus it almost felt like he was trying to guilt me when he couldn't hive the 180 this morning?#like sorry that I want MY money for my dying rat but whatever#anyway sorry its just been a stressful and irritating time and now pollux has to suffer for it for no fucking reason#ghost posts#text
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Day 342 | id in alt
Itadori having a moment
#dailykugisaki#jjk#kugisaki nobara#itadori yuji#i just think Itadori just gives the fuck up on having a thought process when chilling with Kugisaki#thats his bestie that he horridly misses every single time they arnt shoulder to shoulder#when the friends are horrifically codependent but Kugisaki hates it and Itadori dosent know the meaning of the word#what going two months fighting non stop and missing the pressence of somebody that actually gaf about your free will does to you#Kugisaki gaf about Itadori HARD. the second somebody was withholding information from him Kugisaki wanted to KILL that person#Fushiguro withheld information from Itadori and Kugisaki fuckin hated his ass#its so funny to watch Kugisaki actually care about Itadori not being cursed n such LOL
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yeah. finally did day 50. my god .
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#okay chat. i. wow. uhm. i really reallt like lo bcorp#i wouldve completed it sooner but HURRICANE!!!!!#the words that stuck with me were 'fade away with out a trace'. i cant fully articulate my thoughts right noe as its a MESS but#wow. okay. kind of wanted to just make a small piece to try and process what happened#of fuckin COURSE the middle final room was the sky and grass and trees dude. man.#i didnt go in spoiled. best experience of my life#ayin lobcorp#carmen lobcorp#haha seed sprouting out from the ground. the rotation of the facility freaked me out along with the RUMBLING#got one last train jumpscare because i was just shocked at what was happening . no one died . i love shields#lobcorp spoilers
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I wanted to draw my own take on ART-as-a-presence-in-the-feed but struggled with what path to take for A While bc all I had was that I was adamant about a winding, serpentine body, too large to take in at once and So Good at piling upon your shoulders with weight that's either overwhelming or comforting, take your pick
And then I brought in the hexagons and everything just worked
(They let me give it a face without an actual face, make for a good shorthand to show that it's talking/present in potential future art, and as a bonus serve as an homage to JWST bc hey, science!)
Partially brought to you by a whole lot of listening to Satellite by Starset
#ive hit the 'i just wanna stop looking at it' phase tho so here. take it#digital art#fanart#murderbot#the murderbot diaries#asshole research transport#character design#somehow this is what taught me how to make custom brushes in krita (it was for the face hexagons)#okay i am fuckin Tired but im still reeling from Network Effect and i care these two dipshits so much#i picked orange for ART to contrast Murderbots blue#but unfortunately also bc its been stuck in my brain as orange-aligned from the moment it appeared#bc my first impression was 'oh youre like simaris but not fuckin infuriating'#which is a Very unfair comparison btw bc i cant fuckin stand simaris but i love ART dearly#also a million other reasons but yeah. sorry bud you got assigned orange at introduction#at some point during the desing process it also had a whole bunch of hands since its controlling so many things at once with ease#but i had no way to make that look good and keep with the original vision of 'annoying long weighted blanket'
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NEW RAIN WORL TRAILER DROPPED. WHY BACKGROYND MOVING??? BACKGROUND ELEMENTS. FUCKING HELLO??????
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THANG. WEIRD FUCKIN LEGGED GUY.
IM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT
#I HAVE CLASSES I DONT HAVE TIME FOR THIS!! WHAT THE FUCK IS ALL THAT!!!!#rain world#rain world spoilers#<- fuckin i guess. its a trailer it just dropped im gonna fucking throw uo from Too Many Emotion#that opening freaked me the fuck out what is Happening. also effervescent mention 🐌#im. i need to take a nap to process this what the fuck
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Can’t believe the world is potentially two hours away from a canon blackbonnet sex scene in Our Flag Means Death. what a time we live in
#unless we’ve all been had. though this show is uniquely averse to messing with its fans#they don’t do queer fandom shows like they used to I tell you what#I mean holy shit#I still haven’t fully processed that them getting a 2nd season where they’re in love & get to kiss more than once is real#that we get to have a show that not only doesn’t queerbait but centers its queer relationships & puts great meaning & care behind them#I was on the frontlines of destiel back in the day it’s such a stark difference#I don’t even expect it to be more than like. a pan to the fireplace but still!#the queerbait is so over that they not only have the time to breakup get back together kiss multiple times but they’re fuckin too???????????#insane to me just insane#ofmd#ofmd s2#our flag means death#ofmd speculation#ofmd spoilers#spilling the Tea
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okay dare i say the gauss prime trailer is adorable, they gave him so much personality, i'm living
#as usual absolutely no fuckin clue what ballas is saying but its fine we're not here for him#(not as in i cant make sense of it. as in my audio processing just says no to the guy completely)#chatter tag#menace prime <3#warframe
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i think one of the stupidest parts about racist conservative's arguments against 'illegal' immigrants and Black people supposedly causing more crime 'in their country' is that its not only blatantly not true but also white men take up largest demographic of criminal offenders and idk how they keep refusing to see that lmfao
#ik ik its ignorance and stubbornness but ough its tiring#sorry to speak facts on here but being a criminal justice major is so eye opening HAHAH like wow conservatives are just fuckin dumb HAHAHAH#like no you didnt get overlooked in the hiring process bc of a diversity quota maybe you just fucking suck idk LMFAOO#i think its too late for me rn im forgetting super easy words i literally had to look up diversity by its definition bc i couldnt remember
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he's doing his best...
#i contribute#doodle#andercard#---#anderson is fighting a losing war#their final duel amuses me#so much#all of alucard's praise#the fuckin noise anderson makes in response-#favorite scene#absolute favorite#i can draw the manga panel from memory#otherwise its due time for me to make another joke#about anderson's inability to process alucard adoring him
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(spoilers up to orv chapter 270) (sort of?)
you ever just kinda. suddenly realise what you're listening to
#omniscient reader's viewpoint#omniscent reader#orv spoilers#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#art i made#the first hyperlink is to the song on youtube the second one is to my translation btw#that caption was not an exaggeration i was deadass like walking back from class with my spotify on shuffle and kinda like#tuned back in to what was playing in my ears and just had a kinda. HOLD UP WAIT A FUCKIN SECOND#honestly the whole song is kinda yjh if you squint and like for what its worth literally the only reason this is tied to like#that scene from 269 specifically is bc i literally just read that part today so it was really fresh in my brain#god the process of making this was so strange too bc i did it in almost one sitting except i had a fuckin SPORTS EVENT of all things#in the evening so it was like. 3 hours straight of doing this 2 hours of playing sportsball of all things then another 3 hours of this#so now i am physically mentally AND emotionally drained! genuinely couldntve had a more exhausting consecutive 8 hours if i tried#btw fun fact in the spirit of like. making life easier for myself all of yjh's flashback frames or whatever are webtoon panel redraws#except for that last one obviously cuz the webtoon isnt there yet (which. wow the processing of drawing that was. very painful)#but its like. I AM THE WAY THAT I AM if given the chance to draw to my knowledge one of the most tragic moments from the story I WILL DO IT#ok looking back theres a bunch of editing errors but also i just. really need to go do my ACTUAL FUCKIN WORK LMAO#god my arm hurts#hmmm i might clean up that 10 scenario sketch later on. i kinda like how the wings turned out#and also kdj's dipshit expression.
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