#itachi: don't do that. i'd have to go get you

[mixelation]

people in my life keep having babies so childrearing has been on my mind recently. here's some vaguely homemade dynamite-compliant itadei baby headcanons no one asked for

so first i want to preface this with: i don't intend to actually write an itadei baby into homemade dynamite. this is more like "for those of you wondering how this would go down." my mikoto definitely wants grandbabies, so i have already written at least one conversation about a surrogate that they both hate lmao.

i don't think itachi would want kids. i do think he likes the idea of his loved ones having kids he gets to spoil. if sasuke or shisui had a kid? he's there! i think in his whacky itachi-brain he is capable of being like "if my partner had a baby, i would uncle that baby so hard" but is not into spawning his own offspring. weird, bad feelings there. i think he would struggle with connecting to his own baby unless the baby took after his partner (or sasuke lmao).

i think deidara has never once considered having a kid and the idea would freak him out. but also i think once the baby was a Thing in his life, he'd be much better at connecting with them then itachi.

all that being said: i think even though he theoretically has a duty as clan heir to produce more heirs, itachi would reject the idea of being the sperm donor. the baby is genetically deidara + some uchiha lady mikoto very carefully picked out.

i am going to make the baby a girl, for reasons of diversifying pronouns for writing. she has tiny hands with tiny mouths??? itachi was weirded out at first and didn't even want to talk to their poor surrogate but now he is in love. weird cute mini deidara

i recognize that itachi and deidara are both very likely to produce the most fucked up kid in the universe. however, i don't want to write about them fucking up a kid except in vaguely comedic ways, so i'm going with this angle: itachi and deidara do not give a shit what their kid wants to do with their spare time. they are very supportive of the kid just.... doing her own thing. it does not occur to them to intervene in "problems" until they are already happening.

your kid is failing class? oh shit, i guess we should make sure you do your homework. your kid bit someone? uuuh don't do that unless they really deserve it, i guess. your kid can't hold a fucking kunai? surely we taught her that--

the kid is deidara's and mikoto would only let a Top Kunoichi birth her grandbaby, so i want to kid to be the "disaster genius" brand of character. she picks up things infuriatingly easily but her parents have completely failed to give her real structure so her academy years are a lot of "okay so i don't actually know how to sharpen a kunai--"

she creates deeply stupid problems for herself, and she is then very good at solving them in increasingly unhinged ways. she is a "i put on a fire by adding more fire" type of person. a "i solved the problem by creating ten new problems" kid. a "i don't know how to do division but luckily i solved the question using backwards-multiplication, a thing i just made up that works exactly like division except it made my project partner cry." she is very bad at explaining herself to other people. her dads think she is fine and normal

so she is a very clever and talented kid, who does not have to work particularly hard to get ahead of her peers, but also she fucks up in new and spectacularly ways that prevent her from getting an ego. she is confident in her ability to figure out how to do whatever she wants to do and has a very "I can do it!!" attitude, but she doesn't particularly like applying herself to things she thinks are boring or she isn't immediately good at, which will cause problems for her once she graduates

she has a very strong sense of herself, so once the "imagine the SHEER DESTRUCTIVE POWERS of basically girl-deidara with a sharingan--" start happening, i think she'd reject the idea immediately. yes she DID set that abandoned building on fire, but you don't understand-- it was one part accident two parts an act of HEALING CREATION--

[skyahri]

So..? |Kakashi Hatake X Civilian! Reader| HC

Summary: Kakashi finally musters up the courage to ask you out.

Warnings: Nothing, really. Pretty tame. Civilian reader.

Masterlist Ko-fi

- - - - -

You worked in the hospital. It was nothing spectacular; the shifts are long, it can get a bit over crowded, and sometimes you don't even have time for a meal, but it's honest work.

You were decent with medical ninjutsu. You could heal cuts and bruises, but anything more was outside your skill set.

You have your fair share of regulars, Kakashi being one of them.

Sometimes, he's in and out - just there for a few stitches or a mandatory check-up after a long mission. Sometimes it's longer, like after his battle with Itachi or the Kazekage's retrieval.

You scold him every time for being reckless.

"Kakashi, you know what happens when you overuse your sharingan. Can't you at least try to be a bit more careful?"

He always dismisses you, promising that everything he does it put of 100% necessity.

You roll your eyes and fix him up regardless.

Its a lucky thing that you always end up taking care of him, or at least you think it is.

He's actually using his social pull to end up wherever you are. Kakashi Hatake, the copy cat ninja, is very well known and has earned more favors than he could ever cash in.

He remembers the first time he met you - it was several years ago, in this very hospital. He'd been injured during one of his Anbu missions and needed some critical care.

The hospital was swamped that day, and you were new. He could tell by how anxious you were. It was lucky that you had ended up with him, someone who wasn't picky about his treatment and wasn't bothered by nerves.

There was something about you, though he wasn't sure what. Yes, you're pretty, but he's seen lots of pretty girls. Maybe it was the confidence you emitted despite the cluster of the environment. Maybe it was the gentle way you touched him as yo wrapped his arm or the feeling of your chakra on his skin.

Either way, it stuck with him, and all the feelings he felt have only intensified over time.

Which is where we are now.

Eventually, he sees you outside of the hospital. A rare sight, really. He's perfectly healthy, between missions, and not being dragged around by his students for once.

Your last shift of the week just ended. You're carrying home your weekly grocery haul when he spots you and basically demands to carry some most of your bags.

He tries to chat you up, along about work, hobbies... potential partners?

"So what have you been doing outside of work, hm? Interesting... I see. And you do all of this by yourself, or..?"

You laugh, knowing he's fishing for specific information. He already knows you pretty well after seeing him so often at work. Maybe he forgot that fact in his stupor.

However, slick Kakashi thinks he's been all this time, knock it down by 60%.

You may not be a shinobi like him, but you're very well aware of people.

"No, Kakashi, I don't have a boyfriend."

He plays it off. Shoving his hands in his pockets and pretends not to be borderline giddy at this newfound information.

Once you reach your apartment, you have no problem allowing him entry so he can set your groceries down on your counter.

He looks around while you put things away. Everything embodied you perfectly. The plants, the color scheme, the decor. It was perfect.

Once you're finished, he becomes nervous again.

"So..."

"So?" You ask expectantly.

"Would you wanna meet up with me sometime? As a thank you for all you've done for me over the years, of course."

"Of course," you mock him lightly, crinkling your nose.

"I'd love to."

He let's out an animated breath.

"I'll pick you up tonight at 6? We can head to..."

The plans are set. Now, it's just a matter of patience before this long-awaited date.

Although you've been looking forward to this day for so many years, the anxiety is still there, and you're wondering how it'll go and if he likes you.

Little did you know he's having the same thoughts.

What if you didn't like him? What if he just damaged your friendship (could it even be called that considering how confined they had been to the hospital?) and now he's lost someone else because he's stupid?

Only time will tell, so may as well just shove down the nerves and prepare for what could be the beginning of something great.

[tossawary]

I do like time travel fics for a variety of reasons. It can be fun to see a "perfect run" fix-it fic running through the canon storyline again. There is a little suspension of disbelief required for some of them, because at some point, the little changes for the better or big tragedies averted should start to mess with the world. Very good time travel fics take this Butterfly Effect into account.

It is VERY fun to think about time-traveling characters who immediately break the plot, because they fail to or don't even try to keep things on a certain track. I love seeing authors use this jumping point to explore entirely new directions for canon. It's off-roading time!!!

Some characters are happy to work within the systems of their worlds. They'll put up with the little indignities of having do to things again and are able to act their way through a redo. (And apparently have incredibly good memories, like, damn.) The cost of keeping things roughly the same is something that they're willing to pay in order to reap specific benefits at the end of the journey.

Other characters would prefer to break the systems of their worlds. They have no patience to play by someone else's rules if they have the power to do otherwise. They may think that the world is broken as it is and needs to be changed. They may be unable to let certain injustices happen again no matter the cost to their ability to predict the future. (I admit, I have a preference for this, because I think it's more interesting, and if the protagonist is a heroic figure, I like the idea that every single life is worth trying to save if you can try.)

Anyway, this is all to say that I just read the last 100 chapters of "Naruto" and apparently Naruto was the only person keeping Sasuke from following through on his unhinged and vague supervillain plans at the end there. If you sent Sasuke back into the past, let's say from a battle with Kaguya going poorly back to the Uchiha massacre or something, and he retains his adult body or any of his abilities (full Sharingan + Rinnegan)? I cannot see that Sasuke trying to give Konoha a shot again. I don't think he trusts like that anymore.

I think he would immediately 1) kill Itachi if Itachi forces him to do it and he can't convince Itachi to join his side, 2) kill Danzo and any ROOT agents who get in his way, (2.5) kill Zetsu and Madara if he can find and catch them, and also Obito if Obito forces him,) 3) kill or try to kill the Third Hokage, and potentially 4) try to declare himself the new Fifth Hokage. Winning a lot of these fights just by taking eeeeeverybody by surprise. Or something like that, you know? I think he'd at least try to immediately do some reckless revenge murder.

If time-traveling Sasuke is stuck in his child body for a redo, and can't set himself up as the new dictator of Konoha or the new shared enemy of the shinobi world or whatever, then I think that he might just run off and join Orochimaru again. I think he would make early deals with Orochimaru for the relative freedom that offers.

Like, Sasuke just does not strike me as a particularly stable person who gives a shit about maintaining a comfortable life for everyone around him. He does not care about Konoha's image. He does not want to settle complacently into a comfortable life within this corrupt state. I think he'd rather drag out the rot and set everything on fire than sit through the frustrating false civility of politics or go to school again, if he had any choice in the matter.

A time-traveling Sasuke would not behave like a time-traveling Naruto or Sakura! So, if I had to do a time-traveling Sasuke, I'd probably reach for the "break-it" rather than the "fix-it". Konoha struggles to deal with this new, mysterious, Rinnegan-wielding Uchiha who appeared out of the middle of an incomplete massacre, just killed the Hokage, and declared himself the new one, completing the Uchiha coup at the eleventh hour. (People are saying he looks like Uchiha Izuna come back to life, apparently???) Oh, shit, someone secretly go get Tsunade and Jiraiya right now, fuck.

[animeomegas]

New Things and Misunderstandings - Naruto Omegas x Alpha!reader

A/N: Happy birthday @omeganronpa !!!! I can't write more because ow, but yay, it's your birthday! I don't know what this post is, I just picked a few of your favs and wrote about misunderstandings lol, but I hope you like it anyway lmaoooo ❤️🩷🧡💛��💙🩵💜🤎🖤🩶🤍

Warnings: Just some innuendo lol. And me thinking I'm funny, that needs a warning.

Naruto

*Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto having a drink together*

Sakura: It's your birthday soon, right Naruto? Do you have anything special planned?

Naruto: Uh, not much. Work is crazy, y'know?

Sakura: Ugh, you don't have to tell me. I haven't got my birthday off from the hospital in four years.

Naruto: Yeah, it sucks. I'll probably just spend the evening at home with my alpha. I was thinking of asking for a quickie or something.

Sasuke: *grimacing* Tmi, dobe.

Naruto: What? I've never had one before, so I thought it'd be cool to try.

Sakura: Naruto! No one wants to hear this.

Naruto: Why? You don't like quickies? I always thought they looked tasty. I mean, they aren't ramen of course, but I always get birthday ramen from Ichiraku, so I can't ask my alpha to make it.

Saskue: ...

Sakura: Naruto, spell quickie.

Naruto: Um, okay? I think it's Q-U-I-CH-E.

Sasuke: 🙄

Sakura: 😠

Shikamaru

Alpha: *in the middle of a chat with Kiba* -and Shikaku was so hot yesterday, it's kind of crazy, y'know.

*Shikamaru suddenly walks in, home from work, overhearing*

Shikamaru: What 😐

Alpha: Shika! You're home!

Shikamaru: What 😐

Alpha: We were just talking about how the aircon has given up in the jounin headquarters. You must have heard about it. The common room wasn't too bad once everyone opened the windows, but I was just saying that your father was suffering a lot in his small office.

Shikamaru: *visibly relaxing* Oh, I see. Yes, for once I've been grateful that Naruto keeps me in Hokage tower most of the time.

Alpha: Yeah, I bet!

Shikamaru: Okay, I'm going to take a shower upstairs, I'll be back in a bit. *Shikamaru leaves*

Kiba: ...

Alpha: ...

Kiba: Good save.

Alpha: Thanks 😅

Lee

Lee: *sighs sadly*

Alpha: You okay, baby?

Lee: I... Do you think I'm intimidating? To our fellow Konoha shinobi I mean.

Alpha: I mean, I would hope that they have a healthy respect for your abilities, but I don't think people find you unapproachable. Why do you ask? Did something happen?

Lee: I overheard some people talking in the jounin common room. They were saying that they could suffocate in my thighs... But I would never hurt them like that, even in a spar. Do you think they're... afraid of me? 🥺

Alpha: ...

Lee: ...

Alpha: Oh, baby, no.

Shino

Shino: *visibly relieved* Alpha, you're back from your mission!

Alpha: Yes... Is everything okay?

Shino: No... it's Shihori. I'm... I'm worried about her, but I didn't know what to do and you were away and I was scared I'd make it worse so-

Alpha: Woah, slow down. What happened? Is she okay?

Shino: She's... been drawing things. Horrible things. I don't know where she's getting it from, I didn't want to ask in case I made it worse! What do we do??

Alpha: Deep breaths, what sort of things has she been drawing?

*Shino anxiously opens a drawer and pulls out a stack of drawings. They depict large, scary creatures. A brown bear, a purple rabbit, and a yellow chicken. You immediately remember hearing your fellow parent shinobi complain about the latest horror video game trend that became popular with children*

Alpha: Ah. It's Freddy.

Shihori: *overhearing from the living room* YOU KNOW FREDDY, APPA?!?!

Alpha: Of course. And Bonnie. And Chica.

Shihori: 🤩🤩

Shino: 😧

Itachi

Alpha: Oh, hey, you're back from reconnaissance. Did you catch them doing anything suspicious? Pein seemed really sure there were our guys.

Itachi: No. Unfortunately, they both kept entirely normal schedules for the day, as far as I could tell.

Alpha: Damn. So we came all the way out here for nothing?

Itachi: Not quite. While their conversation was mundane, I believe they may have been using a code.

Alpha: Seriously?

Itachi: Indeed. They mentioned at one point that their compatriots had been 'sixty-nining' each other. I believe that might have been code, although I am not sure of it's meaning.

Alpha: ...

Itachi: What?

Alpha: ...

Itachi: You recognise the code?

Alpha: *suddenly remembering that Itachi had no friends as a teenager and parents that taught him how to dismember people instead of teaching him anything about sex*

Alpha: ...I'll explain on the way back 🫠

[ladykissingfish]

Kakuzu: Come, brat. Lets get on with this inane ritual of yours while the night is still young. Hidan: Trick or treating isn't "inane", bastard. You know you'd probably feel a lot better if ya didn't have a big fat stick rammed up your ass all the time. Kakuzu: I'm merely trying to draw your attention to the pointlessness of all of this. You have to buy some overpriced costume that isn't even really scary, to parade door to door all but begging for candy? Hidan: For Jashin's sake, the candy is FREE. I'd think that you of all people would appreciate some FREE shit! Kakuzu: For once, I'd have to argue that "free" isn't needed in this case. You truly think you need all the candy you get? With as many cavities as you have?? Hidan: You know what? Fine. Stay at home then, you stupid bastard. Better you don't come and ruin my fun. But don't expect me to cut you in on my profits later! Kakuzu: ... profits? Hidan: Yeah, profits. I only keep about 25% of the candy I get. The other? I keep it to sell to Itachi and Tobi. They blow through their own sweets really fucking fast and when they do? They get DESPERATE for more candy, at ANY price. I was able to buy a new scythe last year with the money I made off of Tobi alone. Kakuzu: Hidan: But go ahead, tell me some more how this is stupid. Kakuzu: Kakuzu: ... I love you.

[harukamitsuki]

I need Bakugou stans to realise that it's not that I hate him as a person. It's that I hate him as a character.

A lot of my favourite characters are unrepentant assholes, or assholes who are set to or have already been redeemed. Vegeta from DBZ, Ouma Kokichi from DGR: V3, Dio from JoJo, Laxus from Fairy Tail, Greed from FMA: B, Bill from Gravity Falls, and the list that goes on.

If a character is a terrible person, that's fine by me. But if the author tries and fails to redeem them, yet still acts as though they are suddenly this amazing person, that's when I have an issue with it.

Bakugou was originally written to be a minor antagonist, and that would have been fine, if Horikoshi didn't suddenly go "I drew him crying so imma fix him".

Redemption is such a complex yet simple thing to do. So when you try to do it and fail spectacularly, um, yeah, I do not enjoy that character or your writing.

That is my main issue with Bakugou. I do not think he deserved any redemption, not because he's a bad person, but because there is nothing to convince me that he could change.

He gets one scene where he goes, "boohoo I lost and everyone is stronger than me" then cries, and that's supposed to be enough for him to become a better person? That is nowhere near enough.

There was no moment that made me believe he genuinely regretted and took accountability for the abuse he put Izuku through in middle school.

"He changed!" That's not my issue. I don't care that he's changed. I care that I don't believe in it. If there was a plausible reason as to why he changed, then I would be fine with it. Maybe I'd even enjoy him!

The fact that he's changed doesn't mean shit if it's not believable.

"That was in middle school!" Okay. This one pisses me off the most. That was a year pre-canon? Oh, wow, I guess that's completely fine! It's not as if characters are the way they are based on their past. Oh, Itachi killed the Uchiha clan before canon! Okay, maybe comparing a massacre to bullying is a bit unfair. Still, just because it happened a year ago, it doesn't mean it never happened. It doesn't mean that he's changed considerably.

"Izuku doesn't have any lasting damage and forgave him!" And? Just because your friend forgives their bully, it doesn't mean you have to forgive them. And, again, I do not believe Bakugou's apology was good in anyway. He was trash-talking Izuku, blaming All Might for Izuku's behaviour, and didn't accept any culpability for what he did to him. He didn't tell anyone else what he did to Izuku. Also, if Izuku really didn't have any lasting damage from the bullying, then why did Bakugou's apology make him calm down? If he didn't care about the bullying, then why is he so relieved by the apology? BECAUSE HE WAS AFFECTED.

"Bakugou was being abused!" ... NO HE WASN'T!! Mitsuki is not abusive. Yes, she hit him round the back of his head. After he threatened her. Anyone with Asian parents can tell you that her hit does not hurt. Not only is it somewhat normal in Asian families, but it also doesn't hurt. We have no evidence that she is abusive. Horikoshi knows how to set up abusive families, as seen with the Todorokis. This not that. Either way, even if she was, being abused doesn't mean it's okay to abuse others. You can hurt without hurting others.

"It's the school and teacher's fault!" No, it's not. Part of the fault lies with them enabling him, but Bakugou is already fifteen when the series starts. His mother clearly doesn't agree with his attitude. The school is only partially to blame. Bakugou should have learned by himself what is right and what is not. In fact, he clearly does know considering he doesn't want any of that stuff on his records in case U.A. rejects him.

Again. I don't care if he's a terrible person. I care that he's a terrible character.

So the next time someone says that I'm stuck in Season One, take a moment and think about what you're saying. Bad people in fiction are entertaining. Bad characters are not.

[comikadraws]

Why do I feel like knowing Fugaku’s favouritism, Itachi would have a much better room. Like with a walk in closet, bathroom etc. I can’t help but believe that Mikoto was lying when she said that Fugaku talks about Sasuke whenever they are alone.

Oh boi. Fugaku hate in my inbox. It is finally happening.

And to that, I say, probably not?

Don't get me wrong, Fugaku certainly plays favorites, but it doesn't really strike me as something he does consciously. And if he does, he at least knows not to overdo it.

Not going to work on an in-depth analysis right now on either Fugaku or Mikoto. I'd probably ask my mum to assist me in writing that one, as she's been working in the field for 40+ years (specifically spotting, critiquing, and correcting malfunctions behavior in parents and adolescents) and it's been a while since the two of us last discussed Fugaku and Mikoto.

On Fugaku

This is going to sound harsh but, to Fugaku, Itachi is just more "interesting" and "useful" than Sasuke. Essentially, Fugaku doesn't participate in the world of his children but instead, he waits for his children to be able to participate in his world. Since Sasuke is younger and has reached fewer developmental milestones, he is not yet able to partake in his father's life to the same degree Itachi does.

Sasuke is still going to school. He can barely use any jutsu. He has never seen a battle before. This is too far removed from Fugaku's world for him to interact with Sasuke on a genuine level.

Itachi is going on missions. He is a prodigy among Uchihas with a wide range of skills. He has seen many battles and gained experience. And to top it all off, Itachi's work is closely related to his father's as a double agent. He has been fully submerged in Fugaku's world.

This is more or less supported by Mikoto's explanation in chapter #224. Itachi is older, so he has more clan duties, which is why he gets more involved with Fugaku's work.

We see this thinking in practice when Fugaku takes more of an interest in an ANBU mission than an entrance ceremony at the academy. One is directly related to his duty as clan head, and the other is child-rearing (something Fugaku doesn't really do).

And to top it off, one has actual consequences (ie. Itachi potentially getting killed or not making it into ANBU), and the other is basically just a pleasantry.

And, of course, Itachi also is of use for Fugaku. As a double agent, his skills are a valuable asset for the Uchiha. The first time Fugaku praises Sasuke, it is after Itachi has fallen out of favor with him and proven himself to be disloyal - if not no longer useful to the clan. And the praise is accompanied by a warning.

"Don't follow your brother [or I might no longer praise you]."

"Don't become disloyal to me or you will fall out of favor with me, just like him."

It can certainly be argued that Fugaku, as Sasuke suspected, views Sasuke as a substitute. Or perhaps chapter #222 made him realize that he had already lost Itachi, so now he is doing his best not to repeat those mistakes with Sasuke and actually listen to his child's needs.

Either way, Fugaku still loves them both. His acceptance of death at the hands of Itachi speaks volumes about his unconditional love for his children.

What I am saying is that Fugaku, despite his very limited screen time, is an incredibly complex figure. He is a failed parent, but he is not a cruel parent. He loves his children but fails to externalize it or build a bond with them.

Does it damage both Sasuke and Itachi emotionally? Absolutely! Was that ever the plan? Hell no.

On Mikoto

I agree with you that Mikoto was most likely lying, however. My mother pointed out that in her experience, children like Sasuke won't usually express feelings of emotional neglect to their parents unless something is actually amiss.

When confronted with Sasuke's perception of the situation, she does two things:

Give a reason for Fugaku's lack of attention toward Sasuke (defend Fugaku's actions)

Tell Sasuke he just misunderstood the situation (invalidate Sasuke's perception)

The first, I have already commented on, because there is genuine truth to Fugaku's paying attention to Itachi being the result of their duty as clan head and spy respectively. But the second is where it gets interesting.

Mikoto defends Fugaku, basically saying "he loves you, he is just too awkward to say it to your face". According to her, it is not that Fugaku doesn't want to or doesn't have time to think about Sasuke, it's that some sort of personality trait prevents him from displaying his pride or affection.

This is contradicted, however, by all the praise that Fugaku openly directs at Itachi repeatedly, right in front of Sasuke, and even when Itachi doesn't seem at all receptive to the praise. Truly, "awkwardness" doesn't seem to affect Fugaku's actions as much as Mikoto claims to.

It is not "awkwardness" that we are talking about here. It is ignorance or disinterest in Sasuke's "lesser" achievements.

Not only that, but Fugaku really does not spend much time with Sasuke and doesn't feel the need to communicate any feelings of endearment or pride to Sasuke. Fugaku is barely involved in Sasuke's life and he doesn't even try to involve himself until that point. Why would he be talking more about Sasuke than about Itachi? How does he know enough about Sasuke to hold a conversation about him?

My mother hypothesized that Mikoto, in that instance, might be prioritizing her loyalty to her husband over her duty toward her children. She still recognizes Sasuke's pain and reassures him, but ultimately, she dismisses his feelings. Not that she wants to but she also doesn't want to or feel the need to confront her husband over this.

It is not an entirely baseless read of her character, as she also appears supportive of Fugaku's choice to involve Itachi in clan politics, for instance. Clan politics which, as an involved parent, she should recognize as harmful to her child.

She agrees with Fugaku's assessment that Itachi is old enough to get involved with clan duties and in another scene she takes a seat beside Fugaku when discussing clan matters (it is symbolic of her support). Of course, it can also be argued that Mikoto is not joining those conversations to support Fugaku but rather to support Itachi. In chapter #221, she appears rather worried or scared, though it is unclear whether she is scared for her son or of her son.

Either way, we do not see her speak up on behalf of Itachi. She agrees with or condones Itachi's involvement in dangerous clan politics against her child's best interest - but in favor of Fugaku's and the clan's own interest.

It appears as though Mikoto is just a "yes" person in the marriage, trusting Fugaku's decision-making and not bothering to argue with or question her husband. Again, much like Fugaku, she is not deliberately failing her children, but that's just what she ends up doing anyway.

[nardo-headcanons]

it's been an age since i've been into naruto, and now that i have plans on making my own version on how naruto shippuden ended, i was wondering, how do you think naruto shippuden should've ended? like are you pro or anti naruhina? pro or anti sasusaku? whats your opinions on how the fourth war was played out? if you already spoke about this i'm sorry lol but im just wondering.

OMG HIIIIIIII @ofrolysdogs you're one of my OGs! How have you been????? Please please tag me or let me know once you create your rework. that sounds so intriguing!

This post is gonna be controversial, beauties.

How do you think Naruto Shippuden should've ended?

Ideally, with Naruto realizing that he doesn't need to become hokage to get the attention and validation from the people he loves and cares about. Or at the very least, with Naruto becoming hokage but abolishing the shinobi system. Maybe even make Danzo hokage along the way, just when Tsunade falls into her coma, and slowly make Naruto question the system more and more. Also, Sasuke's whole "redemption" arc should have been handled differently. First and foremost, he was a victim. He did a few things that were wrong, and I agree that there need to be consequences, but for this redemption arc I'd rather have him travel around and teach people around the world about the customs and culture of the Uchiha.

Are you pro or anti naruhina? pro or anti sasusaku?

I am both Anti NaruHina and Anti SasuSaku, but for two different reasons. I used to be a hardcore SNS shipper, but not so much nowadays. NaruHina had so much potential, they could have explored their class and privilege differences together, learning from each other and stuff. But Neji dying for their ship to sail? That was a hate crime. The reason I'm Anti SasuSaku is because I simply don't really like the thought of shipping Sasuke with anyone. He has enough to go through and putting him in a romantic relationship is not something that would make it more interesting or add stakes to it, although I wouldn't mind seeing him adopt a kid or two, given how family oriented Sasuke is.

Whats your opinions on how the fourth war was played out? I found the use of Edo tensei very interesting, albeit a little cheapened here and there. The Itachi and Sasuke vs Kabuto fight was a little disappointing. Don't get me wrong, I loved seeing he two of them fight together side by side, and Itachi's final parting was very touching - but them fighting Kabuto of all people? Maybe if Kishi fleshed out Kabuto's story a little more, he clearly had no idea what to do with him. Poor bastard.

Madara just 'knowing' the hand signs of edo tensei is actually not so unlikely, but it still irks me how he was able to just "come back" when Edo Tensei was released.

And let's not talk about the power scaling, which went completely through the roof in the end. Oof. Kaguya, as is, ruined the storyline completely. It could have worked, but not in the way it was executed in shippuden.

But alas, I suppose there is only so much Kishi can do within the confines of a genre.

[theheirofthesharingan]

I might be dumb, but I don't get why Sishui killed himself. I really don't think there was need for such drama. He left Itachi completely alone, he left a cryptic letter to the Uchiha that only made them distrust Itachi and he allowed Danzo to get away with stealing his eye. In the novel he was supposed to be poisoned (I guess they had to add some reason for such a extreme decision), but still, he could have tried to get medical attention, right? It just feels so silly. Sorry, Itachi, I failed. I don't know what else I can do so I will kill myself now to traumatize you so you get extra powers (anime only) and leave you alone in this mess.

Sorry for the rant. Nice blog, by the way!

I didn't think I'd live to see Shisui slander in my ask box one day.

But it is an interesting question and I've seen this discussed before as well.

Speaking of the novel, Shisui was going to die anyway whether he did or did not seek any medical help.

This is an excerpt from their last conversation. Shisui makes it abundantly clear that he's not going to live. So the little time he had left he used it to relay his final message to Itachi.

Now, in manga things are left vague, and like you said, the change in the novel could have been made to give his death more justification as well as more context. However, even without it, even if we remove the whole poison thing for a moment, Shisui's death still makes perfect sense.

We know Danzo took his eye, and things were already bad enough. If Shisui, instead of dying, went to the Uchiha district, the clan members would want to know what happened to his one eye. Shisui's MS was quite famous because one man in the Five Kage Summit arc and then Killer Bee mention him. It wouldn't be hard to zero in to Danzo or any Konoha leader, because you can't keep things like this hidden for long. In those circumstances, Itachi wouldn't come under suspicion for sure.

If Uchiha found out Shisui's MS had been taken by an enemy - a Konoha leader, no less - it would add fuel to the fire. Shisui was trying to stop the coup, not be the catalyst to an already delicate situation. Things would escalate quickly, resulting in everything he and Itachi were trying to stop.

If he died instead, Itachi would still have some time in his hand, and he could find a way. I think Shisui hoped Itachi would find a way, even if he didn't truly believe it himself.

But it all backfired, obviously. Itachi was left alone afterwards, and everything was too much. Danzo wanted them all dead. It wasn't Shisui's letter, but lack of support from his family, and especially Fugaku giving up on him eventually that things came to the point they did. Maybe if he still stayed in touch with his parents they could have been saved, because it was Danzo preying on a solitary child.

No worries about the rant and thank you. :)

[venerawrites]

Helloo! could I humbly request relationship headcanons for Sasuke before and after the war? as in the difference between him then and after? I always thought he'd be a lot more mature and his views on things might change? especially since before he never would've had the time to actually consider things like romantic relationships and such to a deep extent? I'd love to hear your thoughts! I wish you a good day/night!

(fem reader or gn!neutral is up to you! I'm okay with either!)

author's note: hi, lovely! I am so glad to get a request for Sasuke, as he is one of my favourite boys, but I don't really get the chance to write a lot for him. I guess the "after the war" Sasuke can be a bit OOC if you follow Boruto, but as I haven't watched it and I don't really agree with how most of the characters developed... I just kind of wrote the way I envision it. I hope you enjoy! <3

BEFORE the war

It is very hard to imagine Sasuke having a relationship with someone during the time when the only thing that plagued his mind was the idea of revenge.

If he was to get interested in someone, I would imagine it would be a civilian/retired ninja during his travels with Team Taka. (I don't really imagine him falling for a ninja tbh)

I think even here, we have to separate before and after Itachi's death...

Let's roll with the idea that he meets his s/o before killing his brother. During this time he won't be really interested in forming a relationship - for a really long time he won't even understand what is that funny thing inside his chest and why he feel the need to visit his s/o's house every few months.

Sasuke has the tendency to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants, so I imagine that this is how he will behave with his s/o the same way - he will visit his their house at random times, always staying for different periods of time; demand that they heal him (if his s/o is a healer or had any basic medical knowledge); he would buy stuff for the house from the local market or leave some of his own (such as some of his clothes), almost as a way to establish a claim over them/their property.

He would never put a label on the type of "situationship" him and his s/o share, but it is clear to both that whatever is going on is deeper than a friendship.

Still very cold and reserved - would share very minimal information about his past or his goals, preferring to either sit in silence or ask his s/o questions.

Kind of grumpy and rude ALL THE DAMN TIME.

He didn't want to entertain the idea of having feelings for someone, yet he couldn't stay away. The intentions of his visits were always masked with some type of "excuse" - he was in "hiding"; he needed somewhere to "heal"; he wanted a "break" from his team etc. Yet he couldn't help but feel annoyed he was getting distracted from his main goal and he was taking it on his s/o in the form of snappy comments, rolling eyes, constant huffing and just in general bad attitude.

A silent protector - he would check on his s/o quite often, sometimes not even visiting their house, just watching from a distance to make sure they are okay. I imagine during this time he would be highly alert and worried Itachi may try to target his s/o, so he may even act a bit controlling by banning them from leaving their house after dark or letting any strangers inside.

Now Sasuke after killing Itachi and learning the truth about his clan... is a COMPLETELY different story.

We all know his mental health completely collapsed during this time and his mind spiraled downward. This would affect not only his actions, but also his relationship.

For starters, he would clearly establish that he consider them as "his" (if it was not clear before, it is now). His paranoia that everyone is after him, fueled with the fact that he not only wanted a revenge on Konoha, but also the belief that he needs to start rebuilding his clan soon, would push him into constantly trying to persuade his s/o to leave with him.

Now I've said that before, but I don't see Sasuke with the shy, agreeable type of partner... so most likely his s/o would just cuss him out and tell him to leave.

Lot's of arguments, jealousy and gaslighting - Sasuke is literally a walking RED FLAG during that time.

He also is not the type to give up easily, so even if his s/o tries to 'break things off', there is no getting rid of him - his s/o is HIS and he would make sure not only they understand it, but that the WHOLE WORLD does. Nobody loves like an Uchiha after all...

AFTER the war

If you expect head canons based on Sasuke's personality in Boruto... you better stop reading here! I've never seen Boruto, but I've read enough to know that (at least for me) almost all of the OG characters are ruined. So here is my interpretation of what type of partner Sasuke would be after the war...

Firstly, let's start with the fact that he will be by himself for a long time while travelling during his "exhile". Even if he had some type of partner/crush before the war, it is unlikely their relationship would survive after the war.

(which is quite good actually, because as I mentioned above, such relationship would be highly toxic and dysfunctional!)

I think at least a few years need to pass for him to really find himself, find his purpose and accept his past and that of his clan. He has been through a lot of trauma which needs a lot of healing and self-discovery.

Like mentioned above, I don't think he would fall in love with a ninja. In fact, I believe someone who is not really part of that bloody and cruel world would be perfect for him and he would finally have the chance to be himself.

Someone with a lot of patience would suit him well, because while he is more mature, I think he would be very insecure. He never really formed any significant bonds with other people, so he is unsure how to proceed and how to properly treat his s/o.

Definitely friends-to-lovers type of love story.

Sasuke after the war would be more patient and calm, but still fiercely overprotective. I still think he would scold his s/o of they are too careless or too trusting with strangers, he would be nearly as controlling as his younger self.

Tbh I never understood the character development in Boruto, because in my opinion adult Sasuke would totally want a quiet settled life with his partner, away from battles and more bloodshed.

It's already settled in him to be a provider and to be honest I imagine him as a very traditional male figure - the head of the family, the one taking care of his partner and kids, providing protection and security.

He still has a lot to learn and overcome, but the main thing that sets him apart from his younger self is the willingness to listen to his partner and work on himself.

He is still occasionally rude and snappy, and to an outsider way too cold and reserved toward his partner, but to his s/o it would be obvious that he does try to show affection in his own way - waking up before everyone else, so he can prepare breakfast; unconsciously shielding his partner (and kids) with his body in public; small gifts, most of which handmade; subtle touches on the arm or the lower back...

Overall, a piece of work... but definitely one that is worth it!

cc artwork: Christian Benavides

[13as07]

Object #3

(Akatsuki Smut)

[Art work is not mine! Credit to mick347]

Requested by: Myself

Word Count: 4,558

Warnings and/or Pre-Notes:

Still no explanation, better luck next time. This is horrible, my apologies

Characters include: Hidan, Kisame, Itachi

Sadism (Hair pulling, death threat, biting, choking)

Nicknames/Name Calling: Angel, Sacrifice, Whore, Guppy, Kitten/Kitty, Object, Sweet Girl

Knife/Blood Play (sacrificial use of blood, cut marks, blood used as lube, licking)

Creampie

Domination (different levels)

Praising

Oral/Fingering

Exhibitionism (public sex)

Improper use of the sharingan (not like that, dirty minds)

Breeding Kink

———————————————————————

     "My little Angel!" Hidan's voice calls out, clawing me back out of my lazy sleepy state. One of these days I'll get to have a peaceful nap. Not today though.

     "Just ignore him," Deidara whispers into my skin, tightening his hold around me as he attempts to bury his head further into my neck.

     "Angel!" Hidan calls again, slamming the bedroom door open. "There you are my angel from Jashin," he coos, making quick work towards the bed.

     "Go away," Deidara bitches, tugging me closer as if that'll stop Hidan.

     It doesn't. Hidan's hands wrap around my arms, tugging me from Deidara's hold. "It's time to pray, Angel. We don't want to upset Jashin."

     "Wait your turn, Jashin dick rider," Deidara continues, trying to grab me back from the older member.

     "You've had her long enough," Hidan starts, placing me on his torso. "Besides, we pray to Jashin every day at six. It's almost six, it's time to pray." The younger member cuts his losses, blowing me a kiss and waving before he slumps back over in bed.

     "My pretty Angel," Hidan continues to praise, hands wondering my body as he carries me down the hallway. "Our God would have been angry if you slept through prayer time."

     "Your god," I correct, resting my head on his shoulder to enjoy the last few moments of peace I have.

     "Our God," Hidan barks, yanking my head up by my hair. His tongue clicks a few times, fingers still stiff as they cling to the roots of my hair. "We'll have to ask for your forgiveness. I don't want Jashin taking you back. If he must then it shall be, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't tempt him too."

     Hidan is the only member I think is truly insane. Everyone else is somewhat sane, but from the constant Jashin talk and the weird rituals I'm stuck doing for this 'God', I'm pretty sure Hidan just doesn't have any marbles left. If he had any, to begin with.

     "Alright, Angel," he hums out, releasing my hair to the door to his bedroom. Since the psycho is as close to immortal as possible, Hidan doesn't need to sleep, which leaves his room as a huge shrine to this Jashin entity. "You sit, and pray, and look pretty," he orders, placing me on the ground.

     A triangle trapped in a circle has been drawn out in black paint along the ground, with me slap-dab in the middle, like usual. At each point of the triangle is a bowl, one with dirt, one with water, and one that has a stick of incense burning in it.

     Candles line the circle, candles that Hidan is slowly collecting. My eyes trail after him, watching as he makes his way back to me. "Hello my little sacrifice," he coos, settling the candles down.

     Once they're lined up, Jashin symbol up, Hidan grabs my arms, pulling me towards him. He tugs a knife from his pocket, littering kisses over my wrists as he traces the symbols in the candle, deepening them and removing the wax that seeped into them yesterday.

     "Sit still, Angel," he orders, using his robe to wipe the wax off the knife. Hidan's eyes are dark as he grabs for my arms again, the tip of his knife gently dipping into my skin. Blood trickles out when my skin gives in, only making the psycho’s eyes darker.

     "That hurts," I hiss, trying to tug my arm back.

     "The pain will be minuscule compared to the blessings Jashin will offer you," Hidan answers, his focus on filling the candle carvings with the blood leaking from me. "All he asks for is your loyalty."

     I bite my tongue, keeping the disagreements stuck in my throat. "See? Minuscule," he mutters, setting down the last coated candle. Hidan's tongue slides out, crawling over my wrists, licking up the unneeded blood. His usual olive skin starts to shift, coating him in a dark black with his usual decorative white lines. "My pretty, perfect sacrifice."

     Once the praise is out, I'm left alone in the middle of the ritual circle. The dark room is filled with the soft flames of the candles, Hidan lighting them as he lays them back out. The dark reds of the room are brightened from the new light, but still barely counteract all the black of the space.

     Hands wrap around me from behind, tugging at my shirt. "Hidan," I whisper, squirming in his hold.

"Sit still," he huffs, his hold tightening as he shimmies my shirt off. "Well that’s disgusting," he grumbles, fingertips digging into the still sore wounds caused by Deidara. "That will not do," Hidan continues to grumble to himself. "Jashin will not be pleased."

My skin burns from the constant pressure to the cut marks, and back arches to try and escape the pain. "Please stop touching them," I whimper, tears already prickling my eyes.

"Jashin will not be happy," he repeats, shoving me forward so I fall on all fours. "We got to get rid of that... horrendous attempt at ownership. Jashin owns us, not that dumbass." As the word 'dumbass' spills out, Hidan traces Deidara's careful carving of his name. "We will fix it, stay put."

Hidan disappears, leaving me to ache from the leftover effect of his curious fingertips. Nagato was right, I need a break from the needy and rough Akatsuki members.

"I'm back." The short sentence is followed by my back erupting in pain again. Hidan chips away at Deidara's carvings, making new waves of pain slide out alongside new rivers of my blood.

"Please stop," I whimper, my arms already threatening to give out from the pain blooming down them. My blood coats down my sides, pooling under me. The life liquid is warm but sticky as it coats me.

"If you weren't disrespecting Jashin I wouldn't have to do this. But no, you're an object of service to the Akatsuki instead." Hidan's knife has dropped down to the bird cut into my back, the blade rough like the words of his hateful lecture. He chips at it as well, destroying the artwork left from my time with Deidara.

"See? That's so much better," Hidan says, kisses and his tongue sliding over the open gushing wounds. "Now let us pray." Clothing shifts behind me, his dick pressed to my thigh before my skirt is flipped up. "You need to ask for forgiveness," he adds, fingers dipping into my wounds again, scooping up some of the blood.

I let out a hiss from the pain, my mind scrambling to find a not sarcastic plea for forgiveness. "Jashin," I mutter, my breath heavy as Hidan's blood-coated fingers dip into me. "Please forgive me."

"That is a lousy prayer of forgiveness. Jashin should kill you for that mockery," Hidan grumbles, his fingers pumping slowly. "Maybe I should kill you for him."

"Please don't," I whimper, heart beating and pussy clenching from the mix of the threat and the stretching of my pussy.

"Why shouldn't I? You're mocking our God. Not to mention how much of a whore you've been today. Your cunt is all stretched out and used. You're not an object of choice for sacrificing. Jashin would be disappointed."

"I'm sorry," I whisper, mind going foggy from blood loss and lust. "I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm sorry. Please. Jashin, please?" The name slips out solely on accident, my thoughts getting difficult to keep straight.

Despite it being an accident, Hidan doesn't seem to notice. Quite the opposite. Kisses litter my back again, hands hooked around my hips, shoving me down. My arms and chest clash to the ground, ass still in the air as he shifts around. "Maybe I am wrong," he mutters, sinking his dick into me. "Maybe Jashin sent my Angel to me so I could show you his greatness."

Highly unlikely, but I don't have the strength nor the mental stability at the moment to fight him on it. "Keep praying, Angel. Let Jashin know what you wish for in return for your loyalty."

"A faster pace would be nice," I mutter, managing to piss off Hidan again.

His hand shoots forward, gripping my hair and snapping me upright. "You my dear Angel," he husks out, giving in to my request. "You are going to suffer at Jashin's hands if you keep acting up."

My spine tingles as my blood trickles down my back, shifting from the previous trails down my sides. "I'm sorry. That... that wasn't... please forgive me, Jashin." The words come out sluggish, my mind growing foggier by the second.

Hidan hums in approval, his teeth digging into my shoulder. He rips at the skin, tearing it with his mouth and making more wounds and fresh blood coat my body. "Hidan? Please? I can't," I whisper, my sight starting to go spotty with dark marks.

"You're fine," he mumbles, tilting my head in the other direction before he continues tearing at my shoulders. "Just be silent. Be a pretty sight for Jashin as I pray."

I do as I'm told, falling silent and enjoying Hidan's thrusts. They're sloppy with no rhythm as he prays. Mumbles for prosperity, wealth, and continual immortality spill from him as he uses me.

By the time he's done praying, I can barely keep my eyes open. "Don't go dying on me, Angel," he grumbles, releasing his grip on my hair. I fall forward, face buried into the ground again. Hiden doesn't seem to care though. His hands cling to my back, and dig into my wounds, forcing my blood to spill out faster.

"Thank Jashin." I try to do as I'm told, slurred unfinished words coming out instead. "Maybe I should sacrifice you. Leave you here to bleed to death when I'm done with you. At least then you'd be of some use to our God."

"Tha... thank... you... Jashin," I mutter, letting my eyelids win our battle. I can feel Hidan's smile as he licks the blood off my back, his tongue squirming against my skin as he continues thrusting into me.

I'm slowly shifted forward with each thrust, my pussy tingling in mellowed pain compared to the constant attack on my spine. If I wasn't so fuzzy-minded, I know my insides would be screaming from the lack of preparation and constant rough pumps into me.

Hidan's thrusts fall back to a patternless pace, his dick twitching in me as he starts another prayer. "Thank you, Jashin," he husks, stalling in me. He cums in me, his semen leaking out and mixing with my spilled blood on the ground. "Thank you. Thank you, my Lord. Thank you Jashin," Hidan mutters on repeat, his head resting between my shoulders as his hands continue to dig into my wounds.

The feeling of his weight pressing into me and his hot breath coating my skin only makes it harder not to slip into unconsciousness. Just as I'm about to give in, Hidan jerks me backward, shaking me out of it. "Let's patch you up, Angel. I can't have Jashin's favorite sacrifice dying quite yet."

"Ya... okay," I mutter, leaning back and resting against his chest. As my eyes sink shut again, the soft shifting of black soaking off of Hidan is the last thing I see.

"You'll be okay, Angel. Jashin will take care of you," he whispers into my ear, my limbs feeling light as my body is lifted.

————————————

"It's okay, you're okay," Pain says, the words coming out harsh from his inability to be gentle. "You're fine." It sounds pissy like Nagato is over my whines, but from his carefully placed hands and the way they cling to me, I know he's attempting to be gentle. "The water will help."

I know he's right, I know the water will help with the inflammation of my back, but the pond is so cold that it almost hurts more. Whines and whimpers of pain spill from me as Nagato slowly lowers me into the pond. The water coats me, stinging for a minute or two before I adjust and the pain starts to numb.

"See? You're fine," he mutters, settling on the bank as close to me as he can. His eyes trailing my muscles as they relax in the water, face as stone and unemotional as ever. "Stop being so whiney."

"You're one to talk," I mutter, settling my eyes closed.

"Don't do that," he hisses, leaning forward to grip the chain still hanging around my neck. "Look at me." I do as I'm told, eyes fluttering open to look at the attention-starved man. Pain's face scrunches up, hand drops his hold on me. "Don't... don't do that," he repeats, tone softer this time.

"Pain?" A voice calls out, tugging Nagato's sight away from me. I keep my sights set on him, knowing I'm not able to take the fit he'll throw if I piss him off again. "Konan was asking for you," Kisame continues, the shark-themed man falling into view as he approaches the pond.

"What does she want?" Pain asks, eyes fluttering back to me. The purple swirls of them seem tenser than usual as if I'll disappear if he blinks too slowly.

"I don't know," Kisame grumbles, his eyes flickering between me and the scenery. "Something about Hidan complaining about chains or something."

Nagato exhales through his nose, eyes repeatedly blinking as he looks at me. I have no clue what happened after prayer time with Hidan, but from the lack of the masochist, and me waking up in the med-bay, I assumed Pain wasn't too happy with Hidan. Or that Hidan would still be alive if he was mortal.

"Watch her while I'm away," Pain orders, eyes scanning over me.

"Yes, Sir," the shark man continues to grumble, eyes flickering over me again.

Pain reaches forward, his hand hovering for a second before he pats my head. "Relax. Behave." I nod yes, staring back at him. "I will be back."

"Okay." Pain walks away, continually looking over his shoulder at me.

     "You're bleeding," Kisame mutters, his eyes scanning the water once Nagato is inside the house.

     The watered-down red color of my blood coats a bit of the pond surface, a lot less than before but still present. "Ya, I know. Diedara and Hidan were... a little too much today," I mutter, sinking lower into the water so it settles above my shoulders. "Hence the ice bath."

     Kisame grumbles at my answer, his attention shifting away from me. I paddle around the pond, watching as he shifts out of his mission gear. "What are you doing?" I ask, working my way back to the edge of the water.

     "I'm going to get in with you. You haven't been of use to 'e yet today," he answers, tugging his shirt off.

My eyes jump over his green-tinted skin, taking in the way his muscles are stretched over the stone of his frame. Kisame is a big man, easily towering over almost everyone in the Akatsuki. My sights jump down, continuing to watch him strip. His penis matches the rest of his body, big, long, and a lot to take.

     Once he's nude, I back up so the shark man can slip into the water. He makes it wave as he sinks in. "Come here, Guppy," he husks out, hands wrapping around my arms, and tugging me forward.

     I'm settled against his chest before Kisame sinks, settling on one of the submerged rocks. "You weren't kidding," he says, fingers gentle as they skirt over my back. One of his hands jumps up, tilting my head so he can look at my bruised cheek better. "Is that from Hidan too?"

     "No, that's from Kakuzu," I murmur, shifting on Kisame's lap.

     His head dips down, pressing kisses into my neck, littering the gained bite marks and hickies with softness. "Stop squirming, Guppy," Kisame's calm voice says, the hand not running across my back shooting up to cling to my throat.

     "Sorry," I murmur, letting my eyes flutter shut. I soak in the gentleness of the giant under me, enjoying the way his lips coo and calm my wounds.

     "Sit up," he mutters, using his hold on my neck to lift me off his lap. Kisame shifts us around, settling me on the rock as he squirms out from under me. Kisses continue down my front, littering my breasts as his hands toy with my thighs. Fingers crawl up my legs chased by teeth sinking into my boob. Kisame's sharp teeth quickly make their way through me, coating me with the familiar stickiness of blood.

     "Kisame," I hiss, my hands shooting forward to grip his hair. "That hurts."

     "I know, Guppy. You're doing so well," he praises, his voice husky as his fingertips dip into my pussy. "You'll survive," he hums out, head tilting the other direction. Teeth sink into my other boob, new blood trickling out and being chased by Kisame's tongue.

     He continues kneading my titties with his teeth as his fingers pump in and out of me. Aches erupts from my chest as pleasure erupts from my cunt, the familiar mix of the two filling my body.

     Kisame tugs himself from my boobs, tearing more skin as he lifts his head. His teeth are coated in the red of my blood, the liquid slowly dribbling down his chin as it escapes his mouth. "Sit still and be good," he mutters, covering my face with blood-tinted kisses.

     Once the praise is out, Kisame sinks under the water, his fingers clumsy leaving me before being replaced by his tongue. My knees jerk, clasping around his head. His head tips back out of the water a bit, warning eyes shooting the order at me again before he dips back between my legs.

Kisame's tongue flicks at my clit a few times before sliding down to penetrate me. My hands tighten on his hair, knotting the dark locks around my fingers. My focus is split between not moving and the pleasure tingling in my pussy.

The poking and prodding doesn't last long though. When he's satisfied with my prep, I'm scooped back up and switched back to his lap. I'm settled on his tip, the head of his dick toying my hole as Kisame sits back down. "Are you going to be good at take all of me?"

No. I know I can't. His dick is massive, just like the rest of him. "Yes, Kisame."

He smiles at my answer, pointy teeth beaming as he looks down at me. "That's a good Guppy. Be a pretty object for me to use."

The praises are followed by me slowly lowering on Kisame's dick, the head bullying its way through me. I'm stretched, muscles strained the further I sink onto him. By the time I've settled on his lap again, my breaths come out as hisses.

"Easy Guppy," Kisame coos, a finger falling to rub circles on my clit. His hands keep pace with each other, the circles on my clit matching the pace he forces my hip into.

Kisame's thrusts almost hurt as I'm dropped back down his length, the head of his dick still bullying my pussy into compliance to take him. His head falls back to my boobs, teeth sinking in to tear more skin, and his tongue sliding over the new bite marks to lick up the spilled blood.

My hips ache and my chest is more torn than intact skin by the time Kisame stills in me. "Look at that, Guppy," he coos, hand sliding up to cling to my throat again. "I can see myself," he teases, forcing me to look down as his free hand presses against my stomach

He's right. The faint outline of Kisame's dick is present on my lower stomach. The imprint twitches as he cums deep in me. The mix of his warmth and the evident proof of him in me makes me clench around him, only encouraging Kisame's semen to spill out. "What a good, Guppy," he coos again, littering my face in more blood-tinted kisses.

     "Princess?" Pain's voice echoes from the porch, making Kisame pale.

     "Well, I'm a goner," he mutters, quickly yanking me off of him.

————————————

I can feel eyes on me, the heat path of them jumping around my bare back. "You look terrible, Kitten," comes Itachi's soft noise, his equally soft paces filling the med-bay.

"I know," I whisper, the words getting jumbled up by the pillow my face is buried into.

After being torn from the pond, Pain settled me in the medical room again. Half-assed promises to be back soon and for a soothing night spilling from him as he rushed to go 'ran an errand' with Konan. In his rush, Nagato didn't give me any pain meds and I'd rather deal with the aches than another safety lecture from him if I chose to find medicine myself.

"Poor Kitty," Itachi coos, fingertips gentle as he runs them over my bandages. "Are you alright?"

"No."

My answer is followed by pale arms wrapping around me, gently shifting me so I'm sitting up. He slips onto the bed behind me, hooking my legs over his as I face away from him. "We can fix that, Kitten," Itachi murmurs, hands sliding under my bandages to pull them off.

"Your fingers hurt," I whine, back arching away from his touches.

"I know, I know, it's okay, Kitty," he continues to coo, a hand jumping up to tilt my head backward. The red of his sharingans snags in my sights, filling my mind with the glow of them. My mind goes fuzzy, the forced light in my mind shifts to softer colors. The pastel blues, yellows, and pinks swirl in my head, causing my pains to seep away.

"Better?" Itachi's voice rings out, the soft pitter-patter of fingers shifting a gentle sizzle across my body.

"Better," I mumble, leaning back to rest my head on his shoulder. "I don't know what you're doing though."

"It's a genjutsu."

"A what?"

"It's control of your senses. I'm controlling your sense of touch, so you can't feel your pain but can feel everything else, so your muscles will calm," Itachi softly explains, hands losing their sizzling feeling but still dancing over my body as his lips brush against my neck. "And I'm controlling your sight so you can see something calming and can't see your injuries."

"Why?" I whisper, his fingers sliding over my legs making it hard to focus.

"It'll help you calm down too. I can't enjoy you if you can't enjoy yourself." The words are hushed, buried into my skin by the kisses continually pressed into me.

Itachi's fingertips ghost through my folds, nimble fingers searching for my clit. "Though," he continues, kisses trailing across my jaw as the controlled images in my head start to filter away. "I would like you to watch."

As the scenery of the room filters back into my sight, his fingertips toy with me. They toy with my hole, massaging it in the same way my clit is rubbed. "Watch Kitten," he says, nuzzling my neck to encourage my head down.

I do what is asked of me, dropping my head down to take in the sight of my skirt balled up my legs and Itachi gently working me. My compliance is rewarded with his fingers thrusting into me. He continues to toy with me, testing curls and paces. "Tach," I moan, my orgasm quickly building up.

"Kitten?" He whispers into my war, nibbling on my earlobe. The gentle coo breaks the band in my stomach, coating Itachi's hand and the medical bed in my cum. "That's a pretty Kitty, ya?" He continues to coo, slipping out from behind me.

Itachi rounds the bed, settling on the floor, kneeling between my legs. His arms wrap under my legs, tugging me closer to the edge before he dips down. His hands slide up from the movement, hooking on my hips as my knees rest on his shoulders. "Keep mewling for me, Kitten," he mumbles, his hot breath coating my mess.

His tongue slides out, focused on cleaning my folds before it skirts over my clit. Once again I do as I'm told, not because of willingness though. Itachi's tongue stays busy, licking circles into my clit and thrusting into my cunt to tongue fuck me. The lack of a cool-down quickly pulls another orgasm from me, this time coating Itachi's face.

His head pops up from between my legs, sharingans glow as a soft smile coats his lips. Kisses lead Itachi's trail up my body, hands sliding down to cup my knees and lock them around his waist.

"Itachi," I whine when his bulge presses into me.

"Oh, I know, Kitty. You're so sensitive aren't you?" He gently mocks, kisses coating my lips as he works himself out of his pants. "You'll be okay. After all, this is what you're for right? A pretty object for me to use. I've been nice to you, haven't I? Be nice back, Kitty."

The soft mockery is followed by Itachi toying with me again, the glow of his eyes watching as I squirm from his tip teasing my hole. His eyes flicker around, catching every one of my movements. His smile is still soft as he sinks into me, eyes running a mile a minute to catch every micro-movement my body makes.

Itachi's pace is slow and gentle, just like everything else he's done today. The clan killer doesn't live up to his reputation, especially in moments like this. His hands are like feathers, costing my body like he's trying to burn the feeling of my skin into them. His mouth does the same to my lips.

My body sizzles on nerves, the constant stimulation almost being too much. "Pretty Kitty," he coos, his thrusts picking up their speed. "My pretty Kitty that's going to have my pretty litter."

Itachi's words make my spine tingle, causing my hips to thrust up. That seems to do it for the masochist, his thrusts jerking before his body is pressed into mine. "Kitty, Kitty, Kitty," he mutters against me, his nose buried into my cheek. The line of praise is paired with me being filled, not even the thought of pulling out rolling around Itachi's head as his semen fills my cunt.

"Princess?" Nagato's voice echoes in the hallway, causing Itachi's head to rise.

"He's on top of it tonight," Tachi mumbles, tucking himself away and tugging my skirt back into place.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask, my focus on scanning my body. My deeper wounds have vanished curtsy of the man in front of me, leaving the simpler ones, my hickies, and bite marks.

"Last I knew Hidan was hanging in a tree," Itachi confuses, hand clinging to the back of my neck as he kisses my forehead. "That, and Kisame is in a bit of trouble."

"Oh," I whisper, eyes flickering to the door as the sound of Pain's footsteps creep closer.

"Goodnight, Kitten," he whispers, pecking my lips before vanishing. I don't know how Itachi does that and I'm not sure I want to know.

"Princess?" Pain grumbles again, pushing the door open. "How are you feeling?"

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[thottyimagines]

Heyy, i really love ur akatsuki headcanons, like every one of them is so believable lmaoo.

Could u do akatsuki headcanons where their s/o asks them to hold their peepee while they pee? I swear there was one exact ask on tumblr but it cant find it

Thanks and i hope its not a weird question but they r weirdos anyways so

Thank you!

I've gotten a variation of this ask several times which is telling me the people (or just one tenacious anon) really want to know, so...god, here goes nothing:

Pein is...weirdly complicated, given the real body in the basement/paths for his bidding situation, but I'd say the only way he'd allow it is if it's absolutely necessary because his actual bod is too weak to even help himself. I imagine he just diapers the poor thing and gives Konan the honor of cleaning him up, though, so he doesn't really need an s/o to aid in that venture.

Konan, should she have one for her s/o to hold, would be kind of confused by the request, but not put off. I don't think she'd really get it, but sure, knock yourself out, s/o.

Itachi would get flustered and embarrassed, should his s/o ask to do the holding for him. He'd reassure them that he is more than capable of performing his own bathroom duties, from ablutions to urination, and their concern is...well, kind, if unwarranted. He'd probably wonder if his s/o is noticing his deteriorating eyesight and then frets that he can no longer aim, and everyone has felt too awkward to tell him. He starts using the bathroom with his Sharingan always on and the door locked tight so he can make sure he cleans up properly.

Kisame would probably be amused and go for it. He'd somehow find a way to be flirtatious and horny about it, but hey, his s/o was the one to be a freak and ask in the first place so as far as he's concerned it's all fair game.

Hidan would only accept if he could be flirtatious and horny about it. He'd probably just assume his s/o developed a piss kink or something, I'll be real with you.

Kakuzu initially shuts that down with a firm "no." If his s/o is persistent, he'd relent, but he'd be annoyed and brusque about it. If their finger gets caught in the zipper when he's done, well, that'll show them to stop impeding his business.

Deidara gets very embarrassed and flustered, like Itachi, but in a weirdly flattered, excited way. He's young and horny and will gleefully embrace any opportunity to have someone touching his dick, even for something as mundane as him peeing.

Sasori probably didn't give his puppet twink bod any genitalia, as he needs to neither pee nor fuck in this form. He'd be sure to let his s/o know that.

Tobi would get embarrassed and deflect and probably accuse his s/o of being a pervert (fair), but forgive them because they're just too cute. They're still not giving the assist, though. He's self-conscious about how it looks soft.

Zetsu also doesn't seem to have the anatomy required for this scenario, given he's running around in the buff all day long and no one has ever commented about his bits hanging out and about.

[yowyowyaoi]

Hidan's Daily Texts from the Akatsuki, Part Two

From Konan

Why would it gross you out? You basically deal with blood for a living!

Flattery might get you a hug but it won't get you out of your share of the food bill.

In all seriousness that's ridiculous.

Just pretend he’s Kakuzu. Problem solved.

You guys need to keep it down. I need my beauty sleep!

Sasori has a variety of things he could give you to ease the pain. But be warned he’ll likely give you a three hour lecture on “proper dental hygiene”.

I'm sure he just meant it as a joke. No need to eviscerate him.

I need that like I need a hole in my head.

Love is not about looks, it's about feelings and personality. He's the kindest, most gentle man I've ever known in my life.

If you're that curious, just transform into one and feel them yourself!

He doesn't take betrayal very well. I'd strongly reconsider if I were you.

Being immortal is a hell of a thing to have in common, isn't it?

I wish you and Dei would leave him be. Just because he *chooses* not to fight back doesn't mean he can't, or won't at some point. And I think that will be a scary day for the two of you.

Ladies don't curse but if you heard even half of what I was thinking it'd blow your mind, Hidan.

From Itachi

Looks mean very little to me.

If you're that interested in seeing them, then just ask him to pull down his pants for you the next time you see him. See what he says.

A compliment coming from you sounds very, very odd.

I would not just leave something like that to chance and never, ever to the two of you.

We're close. That's all you need to know.

I'll admit, the honey and ants in my bed was a clever, if sadistic, touch.

You've got ten minutes to return it to my door or I promise your eternity will be one long inescapable nightmare.

No.

The last time I went with you guys you ate $1000 worth of food and then tried to stick me with the bill!

If you'd just admit it I'd be willing to go easy on you.

Of course he's an attractive man but I couldn't deal with that personality on a daily basis.

In that way I'm better than you, aren't I? You clearly fear death. I don't.

If my opinion counts for anything: hold on to Kakuzu. I don't believe there's a single other soul in this universe that would care for you the way he does.

I suppose not all the time. He does brush my hair out for me a lot. Very gentle.

From Tobi

If it isn't something that could work, why would it be the plot to SO MANY homoerotic stories??

You left it sitting there for three days! If I didn't eat it, it would have spoiled!

Just woke up not in the mood for your shit rn

If he thinks you're like a brother than one day me and you can be in-laws!

You didn't even spell "delusional" right.

Are you the one who left the jar of crickets on my bed?

Actually your hair would probably look good longer.

You're not going to lecture ME on something like that!

I think of him like a little cousin. So STOP messing with him!

If you think Kakuzu looks "sexy" without his mask you couldn't handle ME, man.

Come with us, the water should be fine by now.

The Hidden Leaf? Nope. Never heard of it.

Sharingan?? LOL

Be warned, Hidan. I'm not as stupid as you think I am.

Do YOU want to see my FIST? Okay then.

So is "Jashin" just looking the other way while you love Kakuzu, then?

From Nagato

I think of you all as my children. Some more problematic than others.

Yes it works! And even if it didn't, she wouldn't leave me!

I almost teamed you up with Deidara but I don't think I could have afforded that sort of damage.

Ultimately that would be Kakuzu's decision.

Tell your God to meet up with me and we'll see who's more "real", brat.

What. Did. You. DO?!

If I hear that you "accidentally" walked in while she was changing again, you'll wish to the heavens that you WERE able to die.

Yes but a mostly vegetarian diet is easier for my body to handle.

I did not form these teams with the intention of being a matchmaker.

I wish you would put as much effort and planning into your missions as you do to harassing your fellow Akatsuki teammates.

From Deidara

Yes I blew him up but I didn't rob him. Standards, man.

Me and Kisame going fishing, you in?

Come see me we gotta get our stories straight before Leader questions us.

He stepped on a beehive. Spent all day pulling stingers from his arms and legs. STILL wouldn't take off his mask.

I knoooooow. God you sound like Sasori.

I did but I don't think they can prove that it was me ...

You can't just sculp some little mouse and then call yourself an artist! It doesn't work like that!

I think the chicken was bad I can't stop puking and my ass is literally on fire!

If you won't listen to me talk about my REAL art, what makes you think I'm gonna listen to you talk about your FAKE God??

Me and you and Itachi. Yes he'll go if we drag him out.

Yeah but she's sooooooo pretty how can I help it?!

Why are you bragging? That just means you'll be old and ugly before me!

Honestly I just bring him a body and some tools and he stays distracted for like a week. Lets me do whatever without even questioning it lmao

He likes to carry me. Don't ask questions, I just enjoy not having to walk for a few hours.

I really, REALLY don't need to know what "gets you off". Pervert.

From Kisame

I have no idea how to answer something like that.

I don't know what's going on with you and Kakuzu but please stop "accidentally" sending me pics like that or I'm blocking you.

I'd die for him but all I really want is for him to live for me.

I think we're the only two who like it ultra-rare and dripping blood. Well, maybe Zetsu.

Yeah I have my suspicions as well but it's like that thing is glued to his face or something. Deidara is the only one who could get close enough to him to try it but he seems scared for some reason.

You can join us but no screaming in the water this time or you'll scare them all off.

I've got at least 11 years up on you so yes, you ARE a brat to me.

I don't think there are any decent shortcuts, we just have to walk straight through. Ask Kakuzu to lend you his tall boots.

There's doing our job and then there's crossing the line. Guess which one you did.

Yes it's warm but that doesn't mean we wish to see you sitting out there in the nude.

Itachi's not feeling well so I need a replacement weight for my other arm. Deidara is already helping, now I need you too.

In the old days they used leeches as a cure for everything. A few aren't gonna kill ya, kid. Don't be a baby.

He's literally perfect. And he's MINE. So onsen or not the next time I catch you looking like that I'll snatch your eyes out and eat them like grapes :)

From Sasori

Come see me before the infection spreads.

Mint, rosemary, and a tiny bit of thyme.

Unless you’re looking to get bent over, brat, how it works is none of your goddamned business.

You would likely be a terrible one.

No, he’s it for me. I’ll either marry him or kill him, haven’t decided yet.

I can imitate eating to fool enemies but the food will just stay in my throat until I manually remove it.

You kill humans nearly every day, you can handle a spider.

It would break my metaphorical heart.

I’m not “betting” you anything. I KNOW it won’t kill you. But the poison is both expensive and time-consuming to make and I’m not wasting it on you.

18 and 34.

Leave the ones that I’ve marked alone. They’re perfect specimens and I won’t have you ruin them with that heathen ritual of yours.

Yes but I’m slowly coming to accept that sexuality is a spectrum and nothing is black or white.

You and Tobi will be coming with. Pack extra food and warm clothes. No whining that you’re hungry or cold later on.

It won’t be as amusing when I nail your skull to the wall.

From Zetsu

He tasted so good. My many thanks.

I haven’t any idea why the others seem so perturbed by it, considering their *own* “atrocities".

Too loud. Sensitive ears.

Aren't you having relations with him? Surely you could convince him.

Unfortunately we need them alive and well, so please, none of your antics.

Couldn't hurt. But I doubt it would help, either.

Out of everyone here, you and your blood-scented skin smell the best.

I'm beginning to think your obsession with penises is more than a passing curiosity and an indication for serious concern.

Deidara is correct, everything is ephemeral. This world is temporary.

I wouldn't know the first thing about manipulating anyone. I'm just a plant.

From Kakuzu

Try me and see. I DARE you, brat.

Either help me or stay home and shut up about it.

You stimulate me, but not in all good ways.

If I wasn't "obsessed with money" this entire organization would be nothing, we'd be homeless and everyone would be starving.

Just wait until I get you alone.

Next time I suggest you think before you act.

Deidara will face Sasori but YOU will have to deal with ME. Consider that.

It's your turn to pay for dinner. I could go for either seafood or steak.

Call it gay if you wish but you won't change my mind.

I'm not sure if your body could handle multiple hearts, immortal or not.

Endurance training. My room. Ten minutes. Hydrate yourself beforehand.

You're going to eat something green if I have to pry open your mouth and shove it down your throat.

Because I CARE, asshole.

Why should I have to fight them off because you can't keep your hands to yourself??

I happen to like Itachi so watch your manners, if any exist.

Can't "believe" in someone I've never met. Which is why I don't understand why YOU do.

If I ever went, I'm taking you out with me. "'Til death" is inaccurate.

Sure, sure. While you're at it pray for money to drop out of the sky and into my lap.

Handcuffs aren't doing it for me anymore. Bring some rope and maybe some honey this time.

Get back here and clean this shit up before I come kill you.

Love you. <3. Delete this text immediately.

[ladykissingfish]

Itachi: Sasuke, are you ready to get going? We don't have a lot of time before you have to go to Kakashi-sensei, and if you want me to practice that technique with you then -- Mikoto: Sasuke's already left, dear. Itachi: What?? *glances at his watch* It's barely 5am! I thought I'd have to drag him out of bed. Why is he gone already? Don't tell me Kakashi is actually having them train this early? Mikoto: I don't think so, but ... well ... he mentioned something about meeting Naruto for breakfast. Itachi: Naruto? That blonde kid on his team? The one he complains about all the time?? Mikoto: That's the one. I think it's cute. I remember YOUR first love; remember that cute little girl who used to give you her dango? I -- Itachi: FIRST LOVE? Are you saying that Sasuke likes this boy or something? Mikoto: I believe so. Itachi: But has he ever said this to you? Mikoto: He doesn't have to, dear. A mother just knows. I mean, look -- *points at the sink* See that mess? He was standing in here for half an hour trying to make "the perfect pancakes" to take to his little friend. That doesn't sound like love to you? Itachi: But ... but Sasuke ... my sweet little baby brother ... Mikoto: He's not a baby anymore, dear. He's eleven, almost twelve. He's growing up, just like you. *chuckles* With as handsome as my boys are, it won't be long before I get to be called "grandma", eh? Mikoto: At any rate, please don't embarrass your brother with this, dear A boy's first love can be an emotional thing, and I don't — *Mikoto looks up; Itachi has disappeared* *a bit later* Naruto: Um ... Sasuke, this may sound paranoid, but, do you get the feeling that ... we're being watched? Sasuke: Watched? Who would be watching us? Naruto: I don't know, I just get the feeling of eyes on me, dattebayo. Heh, I'm probably just tired. *in the trees* Random Anbu 1: Itachi, are you sure this is part of our mission for today? Itachi, masked: Yes. Random Anbu 2: But they're just two kids eating some food ... and isn't one of them your brother?! Itachi: It's the blonde we're more focused on. Watch closely for any suspicious movements, like hugging, or hand-holding, or kissing. Random Anbu 1: And if we see these things? Are we supposed to attack, or -- ? Itachi, voice deepening: Then you leave him to ME. Anbus 1 and 2:

[mixelation]

on the hiraishin in reborn au ->

this isn't necessarily the "canon" i'd use for every fic but: i decided the hiraishin markers can only be used by minato, and also he can only use ones he makes himself. i think with the way i set things up in plasticity, it's probably a chakra compatibility thing, so someone else could paint one using his chakra and then he could use it (and that person couldn't). so During The War kushina was helping him put them on kunai en masse, but "minato can only use ones he makes himself" is how most people understand it

also, the marker itself isn't the technique. it's only a guide for him to use the technique. tobirama's markers look different, so i think the shape of the marker is pretty malleable? he doesn't necessarily have to get every brush stroke exactly right, so he can make them on the fly, but he'd have to retrain himself pretty thoroughly to start using a new type of marker.

i'm going with these rules bc it explains why he left a bunch of markers that never fade all over the place without any anxiety that anyone would steal the technique. it's because it'd be like trying to reinvent a plane using the runway as your guide, and then it wouldn't even be able to use the same runway. like, if you were going to manage it, you were going to manage it regardless of if you'd studied the runway or not, and you'd have to build a new runway to boot.

okay, so. does tori reverse engineer the a plane with just a runway? no, that's nigh impossible. she does something worse. :)

so for mutagenicity i want tori to be a little bit fascinated with time-space jutsu, because they're one of the more complex branches of fuinjutsu, and she's never explored it before. like storage is technically space-time stuff, but also not really. she doesn't know a lot about it.

when she's little and living with the utano clan, someone brings back one of minato's kunai and sticks it in a chakra-proof box they have. and i'm thinking after all the clans merge into a village and orochimaru slowly starts picking off former leadership so he can be the undisrupted ruler of otogakure, tori manages to steal the box. she spends some time studying the kunai and its marker and she's like: hmm yeah if anything this is like 0.8% of a technique. disappointing. she does go to orochimaru and is like: hey when u stole a bunch of konoha techniques did u also happen to steal the hirashin. and he's like omg wtf no. lmao. you tihnk i'd be here if i knew that?? and tori internally is like: hmm yeah he would have killed hiruzen already if he could teleport. or at least be off bothering anko once a week

she gets to learn more about space-time fuinjutsu with kushina because they're using one to transport ibiki. and she's like well why SHOULDN'T i ask about hiraishin what else would a twelve year old do. and kushina is like AAAWW yeah everyone wants to know <3 but it's top secret and also way out of your league baby genin :)

and at the fallout of the mission, when she and deidara have to manually drag ibiki out of the village because the only transport jutsu tori knows requires one other person and that person was kidnapped in front of her and itachi is off saving her, tori is pissed. so she draws minato's marker on a wall and the message "can you find them all? ;)" which is pretty funny psychological warfare in that it makes iwa desperately search every inch of itself for markers that don't exist, but also minato doesn't actually gain access to iwa. (i know, less fun)

but i decided tori doesn't know this when she did it, so when someone explain it to her she's like "WELL WHY CAN'T HE USE OTHER PEOPLE'S CHAKRA" because her whole thing is hijacking other people's chakra. but at this point she has not adequately demonstrated or explain this to kushina OR minato so she gets what they feel is an age and skill appropriate answer and she feels is a deeply condescending non-answer. also minato makes her cool genjutsu proofing seal forbidden >:(

years pass, tori opens up and learns to trust, minato has to forbid a bunch more seals and every day gains more white hairs, etc etc. and i was thinking "if her arc is about learning to trust, we need some moments to Test Her" and "what could give tori a melt down"

so i decided it might be fun to play around with a mission where her teammates straight up leave her for dead. i'm still rotating details, like what exactly happens and how bad it is emotionally. (is it malicious? just a cowardly call? someone picking the mission over tori?) but i have decided it's some other inconsequential non-canon team, and she's "left for dead" but still has enough time to sit there and contemplate that this happened to her but also can't get out. think locked in an underground room slowly filling with water or something.

now, tori is a creature who runs on stress and spite. so these are actually the ideal conditions for her come up with her best ideas. she knows minato's hiraishin markers work as a homing beacon for a transportation jutsu, she knows a shit ton more about transportation jutsu now, she knows the specific properties of his chakra and has done extensive research on how to adjust fuinjutsu to work with different types of chakra, and also she's been spitefully rotating this problem in her brain like a rotisserie chicken, so she's like. actually i can hijack minato's hiraishin.

she draws up his marker and makes a truly cursed seal around it, concentrates on konoha, and voila! she manages to teleport to a forest in fire country.

also, halfway across the country, she's just scared the every loving shit out of minato, who immediately shows up to investigate, rasengan waving.

tori: (SCREAMS)

minato: ???? prove who you are >:(

tori has been freaking out and will continue to freak out for several more days, because she was finally feeling safe, like she had a home, and she just nearly died because actually you CAN'T trust people you haven't thoroughly vetted, and also the goddamn yellow flash just nearly murdered her, and and and---

luckily minato calms down much more quickly once tori stutters out her verification codes. yes, okay. tori figuring reverse-engineering hiraishin was nightmare #1, but actually his TRUE fear should have been someone hijacking his markers because they're in his home and on his family, but that should have been impossible, so thank you tori for showing him true fucking fear. but actually by this point he low-key figured learning True Fear would come from someone on team 4, if not his own family, so why not. so he listens to her barely cohesive story about being betrayed by her team.

because she solved her problem via teleportation, she actually beats the rest of her team home by a week. so minato is like: okay, I believe that you are telling your truth, but as hokage I have to investigate and listen to both sides of the story. so why don't you lay low at my place and we'll wait and see what your team says when they get back. so he dumps her at his house and then goes to look up the new seal that she hooked up remotely??? and yes she did do that, and she DID do it in a cave now completely submerged, and he destroys and at teleports back and has to rethink his life.

(while this is happening, please imagine tori curled up n the uzumaki-namikaze house angrily drinking a juice box while naruto explains a comic he's reading to her)

and i think the eventual conclusion is minato decides he should have been retooling his marker every once in a while and he wants to have konoha-only ones so enemies who've seen his main one can't exploit that flaw, even if the chances of anyone repeating what tori did are EXTREMELY low. unfortunately that does mean he has to basically reteach himself the technique

minato, clapping tori on the shoulder: we can do it..... together <3

(also i haven't decided what happens to Team Traitor, in part because I haven't 100% decided what they do lol)

and so tori's trust in various people is reaffirmed but them acting totally cool even after she broke the hiraishin so bad that minato has to remake it for village security. also her jutsu gets so forbidden they're not even going to make any sort of record of it <3

naruto while they're waiting for minakushi to finish making dinner: why's my dad teaching YOU hiraishin?

tori: i hacked the cloud

naruto: he won't teach ME hiraishin

tori: do you want me to teach you to hack the cloud?

minato, in the kitchen: I HEARD THAT

[monst]

Da rules

     I go by Monst and I guess I’m writing again: I do read faster than I write so enjoy all the reblogs lol

I like the color orange it's not relevant, just thought I'd put it out there

Uh the bnha master list is definitely not up to date and needs a revamp (I will probably get to that eventually, someday...soon...) Speaking of it Here's the DC one

Here's the BHNA one.

Here's the Kinktober2024 one

Anyways if you're interested below is basically the what's what. Stick around if you want.

 Okay cool! Let’s get to it:

All characters for nsfw stuff are aged up 18+ (If you’re one of those (Can't separate reality from fiction/fantasy) then the unfollow/block buttons haven’t moved from their location and you are free to use them at your discretion )  

If you're a minor while I can't stop you from reading I will block you if I catch you interacting with any of my 18+ content posts. As a matter of fact for my peace of mind and your safety I would prefer you didn't reblog/comment on my sfw stuff too, they're are dangerous people on the internet so please understand and don't take it personally-Thanks💕

Moving on-

     I’m cool with: 

Requests- Hcs, Scenarios, thirst posts, Ya sending ideas and recommendations👀

For requests I might not get to all of them in a timely manner and I might not do some I’m not feeling. I write for F. Reader, GN. reader and M. Reader. Ships are cool too so you can request Character x character or poly reader- character x character x reader.-Genre: all of them tbh

I’m okay with dark content- (Dubcon, noncon, yandere, somno, etc.) and everything should be labeled appropriately. You can always ask that I tag something if it is missing. I do like a challenge/learning so even if I'm not personally into something I'll definitely give it a whirl (Kinks and or tropes)

Sfw- Fluff, angst basically anything that tickles my fancy and isn't risque or full on smut.

* In regards to requests the things I do fuck w might be prioritized 👉👈

    I’m not cool with: 

Scat

Underage/PDF

I'm generally cool w being uncomfortable, especially in regards to what I read or write whether it be by being grossed out or scared. I've always been ridiculously curious mostly to my determent but fiction is a safe way to explore shit so I'll give most things a fair shake in other words the sky's the limit but use your discernment⁉️

Extra:

Random shit- You telling me about your day, thoughts, opinions on whatever ig. ask for advice (trust me bro I got you✌️) or info dump👀 I love to chat. 

Music! Tell me what your listening too! (Yes I'm one of those 'I listen to everything' I need new stuff to listen to)

Also! I miss the whole deviant art/Quizzilla shit so I might do a whole seven minutes in heaven thing lmao (This doesn’t belong here but scream at me about it cause I need it to happen for nostalgia’s sake) 

Also, I'm kinda using this space as a chill/fun mostly nsfw diary? lmao so it's just mostly gonna be vibes :p That being said keep your fandom discourse and weirdo hate bs to yourself cause I will clown/ignore you if you come at me w some sideways ass energy. I'm just as nice as I am mean so don't try me ☯️❤️

So here’s the fandoms&Characters if you wanna request: 

Mha- 

Shocker, but I do have some old asks that are too good to just let’em go ya know?  

Shinsou (I started this blog cause of him so.. yeah) 

Villain/Yandere Deku sorry

Bakugou

Endeavour 

Dabi

Hawks

Tokoyami 

Shoto

Dc- 

Please, please, please send me shit about Tim Drake. (Need him biblically) Literally hopped back on for him. 

Jason Todd

Dick Grayson

Bruce Wayne

Selina Kyle 

Poison Ivy 

Joker (Nothing good is coming out of anyone requesting this I just know it) 

Constantine 

Diana (Wonder woman my beloved) 

Amanda Waller 

Cheetah 

Slade Wilson… 

JJK-

Nanamin 

Gojo  (He's like crack to me istg)

Inumaki 

Invincible- 

Mark Grayson 

…Nolan...

Debbie

Alan! 

Naruto-

Kakashi ‘blow my back out’ Hatake

Itachi 

Shisui (My love)

Madara

Tobirama’s messy ass

Ask for more but these are my faves 

D- gray man-

Yuu Kanda!

Tyki Mikk

Kingdom Hearts-

Riku

Vanitas 

Most of the organization tbh

FF7-

All of them. 

But especially Sephiroth 

Any type of monster lmao 

Kenji Sato lmao

You can ask for others not listed in different fandoms I just think this has gotten a bit too long  

And Yeah, Let’s have fun! ^^

New Tags: 

         This bitch is yapping - Any asks answered or just general shit

         Thirsty bitch juice - Small scenarios, thirst,

         Pretty things- Art 

         Oh la la that’s some good shit right there- Fic recs & reblogs

         On my monster fucking bs - Monster fucking lol 

         Lock that shit up in the basement pls- cursed asks and stuff 

Uh random bullshit go! - My newer writing

And if you made it this far down here's a cookie 🍪