#it's to oppress me in some way i bet. to make me suffer

[sweater-soo]

I just have to rewatch this every so often. For Homosexual Reasons

[zedecksiew]

DECOLONISING D&D

In 2019, after seeing yet another round of alarmist discourse in Xwitter about how Dungeons & Dragons is FULL of COLONIALIST tropes and patterns, and needs to be revised, SCRUBBED of its PROBLEMATIC FILTH---I rage-tweeted this brainfart:

"Decolonising D&D"

I've seen this thread round the community, since. Humza K quotes it in Productive Scab-picking: On Oppressive Themes in Gaming. Prismatic Wasteland quotes it in Apolitical RPGs Don't Exist. Most recently, it was referenced in a 1999AD post about Western TTRPGs (an interesting discussion on its own merit; one that already has a counterpoint from Sandro / Fail Forward.)

If folks are still referring to it five years later, maybe I should give the thread a little more credit? Perhaps the fart miasma has crystalised into something concrete.

In the interest of record / saving this thought from the ephemerality of Xwitter, here is the text in full, properly paragraphed, and somewhat more cleanly expressed:

+++

"DECOLONISING D&D"

Firstly: saying "D&D is colonialist" is similar to saying: "the English language is colonialist".

If your method of decolonising RPGs is to abandon D&D---well, some folks abandon English; they don't want to work in the language of the coloniser. More power to them!

For those who want to continue using the "language" of D&D---

Going forth into the "wild hinterland" (as if this weren't somebody's homeland);

to "seek treasure" (as if this didn't belong to anybody);

and "slay monsters" (monsters to whom?)

Yeah. There's some problematic stuff here, and definitely these aspects should make more people uncomfortable.

But! I think it is an error to "decolonise D&D" by scrubbing such content from the game.

That feels like erasure; like an unwillingness to face history / context; like a way to appease one's own settler guilt.

Do you live in the West? Do you live in any Asian urban metropole? White or Person of Colour(tm)---you are already complicit in colonialist / capitalist (yes, of course they are inextricably linked) behaviour. (I can't speak for urban metropoles elsewhere, but I bet they are similar centres of extraction.)

Removing such patterns from the TTRPGs you play might let you feel better, at your game table. But won't change what you are.

I think it is more truthful and more useful NOT to avert one's eyes from D&D's colonialism.

The fact that going forth into the hinterland to seek treasure and slay monsters is a thing, and fucking fun, tells us valuable things about the shape and psychology of colonialism. Why conquistadors in the past did it; why liberal foreign policy, corporations, and post-colonial societies do it today.

Speaking personally:

I write stuff that evokes / deals with the context I'm in---Southeast Asia. An intrinsic part of that is looking at the ways colonial violence has happened to us---as well as the ways / reasons we now, supposedly free, perpetrate it on others.

A long chain of suffering. Heavy stuff.

I also write for people who want to have fun / kill monsters / pretend to be elves, of course. But for those people who want to consider serious stuff like colonialism: I offer no FIGHT THE POWER righteousness, no good feeling, no answers.

Only discomfort. Because the truth is uncomfortable.

Here's a screenshot of the Author's Note for Lorn Song of the Bachelor:

"Any text inspired by Southeast Asia has to reckon with colonialism ... This text presents a difficult situation; there are no easy solutions. "... If I offered a mechanical incentive for you to fight colonial invaders, you wouldn’t be making a moral decision, but a mercenary one. "The choice you face should echo ... the kind of calculus my grandparents faced."

I stand by that.

Also: might we be more precise and more careful about using the term "decolonising", please?

Here I quote Tuck and Yang's landmark and (sadly) still trenchant "Decolonization is not a metaphor":

"Decolonization brings about the repatriation of Indigenous land and life; it is not a metaphor for other things we want to do to improve our societies ..."

+++

Further Reading

So this post isn't just me reheating a hot take, here are some touchstone writings from around the TTRPG community about colonialism as a subject and mode of play in games:

+

"Jim Corbett was called upon to hunt down another fifty maneaters over the course of the next 35 years. Together, those tigers had killed over 2000 people, for much the same reasons as the Champawat Tiger - injury, desperation, starvation, and habitat loss. Would you look at that. The root cause was British colonialism."

D&D Doesn't Understand What Monsters Are from Throne of Salt

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"Another effect of having colonizers in my setting would be giving players the opportunity to drive them away from the islands, their home. This maybe just be for the catharsis. After all, isn’t catharsis a big part of why we play roleplaying games?"

I’m Adding Colonizers To My Setting from Goobernut's Blog

+

"When you have a slime boy and the other characters are a really fat lizard and one's playing Humpty Dumpty, it completely shatters the straight-faced serious authoritarian illusion of race, and replaces it with complete fucking nonsense. I love the idea of proliferating the number and types of "races" into absurdity, to the point where the entire logical structure of it collapses in on itself and race as a category ceases to become coherent or meaningful in any sense."

Interview with Ava Islam - Designer of the RPG Errant from Ava Islam / The Lost Bay

+

"Perhaps most critically, the fundamental basis of power is not land or even money but manpower. That’s what local rulers fight over, and what Chinese commercial networks export, in return for unique island products. It’s what the European colonists really need (even if it’s not what they most desire). There is rich loot to be grabbed in the form of spices, Spanish silver, Indian gold, sea cucumbers (the Chinese love ’em), perfumes, dyes, cloth etc. so there’s ample opportunity for piracy, trade and smuggling, but the key to long-term success – the key to independent survival – is nakedly and unquestionably uniting people."

Counter-colonial Heistcrawl: previous high scores from Richard's Dystopian Pokeverse

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"They worked their own land—which they dispossessed from American Indians—or became small shop owners or opportunistic gold diggers or bounty hunters or itinerant ranchers. To me, substituting these situations for one ruled by industrial monopoly ignores that the Wild West is a perfect example of how capitalism operates outside of (or prior to) mass industry, instead being composed of self-employers and self-sustainers."

Fantastic Detours - Frontier Scum from Traverse Fantasy / Bones of Contention

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"... using the Western framing and D&D's baked-in imperialist and capitalist structure to get people earnestly participating in the experience of forming imperial power structures and the early roots of regional capitalism ... The PCs aren't the drifters on the train or the townsfolk watching with apprehension - they're the railroad itself."

An Arrow for the General: Confronting D&D-as-Western in the Kalahari from A Most Majestic Fly Whisk

+++

[seimsisk]

I should be inured to this stuff you know

when we started talking about biphobia, lesbians were so pissed. "you're just suffering lesbophobia", they said. "(and only when you're with a girl, otherwise you have straight privilege)", they added. and they concluded: "that term is homophobic"

(and even when they coined the term lesbophobia, they too heard "you're just suffering homophobia" from gay men)

when we started talking about exorsexism, binary trans people were furious. "that's just transphobia!" they said. "stop being a special snowflake, we have it much worse than you"

(even though, again, when they coined the term transphobia, they were told it was just homophobia with a hat)

when we coined the term "monosexual", both gay men and gay women were mad. "you're saying we're your oppressors?", they asked. "you're saying we're just as bad and privileged as straight people?"

we weren't. we didn't even say they were less oppressed than us. but that's what they heard either way. there was nothing we could do.

so now, when we're coining the term "transandrophobia", it's to be expected that trans women are pissed. that they say "it's just transphobia" and "oh you're saying we're your oppressors?!" and "you have male privilege" and "that term is transmisoginistic"

I bet the same thing happened when they coined the term transmisogyny tbh. I bet trans men said "that's just transphobia" and "you're lumping us with our oppressors". and they were wrong. every time, they were wrong.

I know people will be mad at this too, because they think whatever terms we use must fit into a simple, solid mathematical theory of axes of oppression.

when aspec people coined the term "aphobia", all the queer allos were furious at the thought that cisgender, hetero(sexual/romantic) people could suffer a specific discrimination because of their asexuality or aromanticism. they said, "you're cishet! who cares if you don't like sex! you have privilege over me! don't you know I'm oppressed for liking sex?" or, "you're cishet! it's your problem if you don't want romance, if you have straight sex that's all you need to oppress me!" (they also raged against people in their own communities: "how dare you call yourself a lesbian if you don't want to be in a sexual AND romantic relationship with a woman! that's lesbophobic!“ and so forth)

I should be used to this. this is expected. people will rage against this concept, maybe for years. there will be infighting. both sides will accuse the other of bigotry. some people will argue it's all lateral aggression, others will insist on hierarquization. each person will have a different definition, and many of those will be extremely narrow-minded definitions meant to make the concept sound absurd. it's how it always goes.

it's just so incredibly tiring every time.

[arttrampbelle]

Ok since my whooooole ass backstory for shang can't be summed up in one post. (Too long to explain)

I'll sum it up in angst art (used a base)

Cw:angst,death,illness, and many personal hcs about shang. (Yes im bias)

Also note DO NOT STEAL THIS HC! THANK YOU. IF YOU USE IT. GIVE ME CREDIT. BECAUSE THIS IS VERY SPECIAL AND HANDCRAFTED IN MY HEART,I WORKED HARD ON THIS! thank you.

Shang tsung basically telling (a young,SLIGHTLY arrogant,inexperienced young god raiden. Granted again at the time,stakes were high,emotions were high,and it just was a complicated messy situation) to fuck off for blowing off his feelings of his mother who passed away weeks before the big tournament. Whom i hc was basically fighting cancer. All his family has suffered an early death,sudden death,or just suffered from illnesses. He just happened to be the only one in his generation to be healthy and not suffer with that problem. Despite his mothers illness,she still composed herself with grace. She took descent care of herself despite her health declining. She had a gentle and kind soul but had strong,intellectual mind. With great love and compassion for her son,her community and those who were defenseless,poor,or under oppression. Never once did she have to raise her hand in anger but only in a calm authoritative way. She carried herself as if she was an empress,yet with all the humbleness of a simple weaver who lived a simple life. Caring for the only child,the only son she had. The only family. By herself none the less. No needing help from any man. Not because she didn't want shang to have a father,no. It was because she didn't feel the need. She knew of her short time on this realm. So she taught shang everything she could to the best of her ability. But tho she herself could fight,and knew martial arts. She sent shang tsung to learn from lord raiden. For this tournament....known....as mortal kombat. For the defense of his home. Tho shang only wanted to fight for his mother. Never his realm or any big cause. Nor any god.

Again i have a whole ass backstory for shang. And a whole family. Real family. None of these dumb clones,none of these damned typical hcs of deadbeat asshole dad. No his father and all his family were pretty chill,kind,and simple folk. But always valued education and spiritual connections. They just suffered from bad luck of early deaths.

Shang was the only one to avoid these things. He never knew his brothers n sister. They died in childbirth. He never knew his father. He died defending his home and village against an oppressive system. His aunts n uncles died of old age n sickness. But pretty harshly. Etc.

Like i just want shang to always have this. I need to have stability,survival,and a need for comfort because i never got it so if i have,you damn well bet im clinging to it with all my claws sinked in deeply.

Psychologically this makes even more sense when he bacame under shao kahn. An oppressive boot heel on his neck. Anything it took to survive,even if he had to swallow his pride n dignity to get ahead or even a way out or even Just to make it thru the day.

This is a man who has been broken and took the broken pieces and carved a sword. Angry,hurt,bitter at his former mentor,no friends made,that didn't turn on him,lie to him,or turned away because he was "different" (i hc yeah shang was the weird nerdy kid. Quiet. Valued books,smarts and skills over muscle and physical prowess. Tho he was good at that too and gained that also)

Again. Dm me if you are curious for more. I'll make a separate post for y'all going into details further.

For now. Have some very sad,very charged emotionally art.

Much love as always.

(Be sure to check out my mk side blog for more kontent at @mrstsung )

[roughstar]

We need to talk about intersectionality again.

I see a lot of people debate on here about transphobia/homophobia/misogyny/etc. but a lot of the time while they may disagree on some things the general consensus is things like misandry and white racism aren't real because men/white people aren't an identity (as in they're invisible, people don't say they're proud whites or proud men without sounding incredibly bigoted). This is wrong. Flat out. Incorrect. If me saying "white people is not an identity" upset you, then good, you understand at least a little. Because it is actually an identity that people can identify as without having to feel guilty about it.

But here's the big thing, people have more than one identity. People can be black AND gay and their experience will be unique based on experiences they share with similar black people and gay people, but not all of their experiences will be shared from either group. This is easy enough to understand. So then when we have white gay people, do they only get to claim experiences from the gay community? No, we all know and understand this. Their experiences come from being white AND gay AND every other identity they have. Because people all aren't just one thing, even those people who make one thing their whole identity. They still experience things from all the other identities they have at all times.

This is kinda what makes Taylor Swift's version of feminism tone deaf for a lot of other feminists, because she's experiencing misogyny from a high class perspective while most of us aren't high class. This is why intersectionality is important.

But earlier I said that things like misandry and white racism are real, even though most of Tumblr is programmed to believe they're not despite being super liberal, TERF, far-right conservative, or basically anywhere else on the political spectrum. (Because "oppressors" cannot suffer from bigotry or some shit). Here's the thing, if you believe gender is a social construct, the patriarchy is a social construct too so the oppression is a reflection of that society. News flash, not every society is the same. Some cultures experience stronger identity roles than others, with all sorts of power imbalances built in and people in those cultures can and do fight any kind of imbalance they find unfair all the time. Ours is no different.

So why would we then purposefully exclude usage of words for particular instances of societal bigotry based on our own subjective understanding of our own society? I bet some of you would say things like "but I'm not part of another society, I'm a part of this western colonial society rooted in Europe and the Americas" or "because you're full of shit and this power imbalance is singular/universal". But, for the first point, how would we then accurately describe an observation from another culture, or describe such an observation to someone of that culture? For instance, if we were talking about misogyny/misandry to say the Amazon women, they may feel just as strongly that misogyny isn't a thing as we do about misandry, that men and women being assholes to other women is always an individual issue and never rooted in the roles of their society. If this were the case, our understanding and communication of these ideas would utterly fail as we've handicapped ourselves into only being able to see other cultures through the lens constructed by our own, with all the same biases and social structures that we ourselves believe to be universally true. This ties well into that second point, which is that such structures are actually NOT universal and believing so is only hindering yourself and your own understanding of them across all cultures.

Another way to think of it is about how malleable we tend to believe they are in the first place. Every time someone says "destroy the patriarchy" we are talking about changing our societal structure. We want to remove gender roles given to men and women which inherently give men power over women (such as making men the typical breadwinners and the head of every household). So why stop here? Why do we only believe and want some aspects of our society to be malleable but others are immutable (sometimes even being the same thing, as in this case, specifically referring to power imbalance between men and women in social structure. Why are we able to "destroy the patriarchy" but men cannot suffer societal injustice, when they both literally are cause-and-effect related)?

And another thing, if someone who is firmly set in their own culture moves into another culture, let's say with their family or whatnot, would they then be forced to change how their family power dynamic is described? Taking the Amazon women as an example again, say that it's typical for men to be like little househusbands there and an Amazon family moves to the US, granted they'd probably be welcomed pretty well here but wouldn't the casual misandry from that Amazon culture still apply in their situation? Would that not still be misandry even if it's in a different culture?

And last point, just because someone develops a strong prejudice against a whole group that's typically known as an oppression group doesn't mean they can't be labeled an appropriate -ism or -phobia for that group. There's an individual prejudice and a societal oppressive structure to each one of those words. You can describe a racist as someone who adheres to racist social structures just as well as someone who innately hates all black people just the same, and we can use context clues to figure out when some individual is described as a specific type of bigot versus just someone maintaining a status quo of societal oppression. And, tying in to intersectionality, every social group or any way to divide/categorize people has a potential for it's own discrimination, as described by a specific -ism or -phobia word. Even if in the context of our own society there is a plain lack of oppression for that group.

[dresshistorynerd]

#ahh i see. well. i stand. perhaps not entirely corrected but more accepting of using the term! thanks for having the patience to explain :)#i can definitely see the connection between finnish history and the histories of other colonized peoples and can't deny there are. a lot of#similarities. it's just in the past few years i've seen a sort of. well i don't want to call it uhriutuminen but it kinda has felt like tha#occasionally where people have emphasized how tough history has been on us finns and oh how much we've suffered and oh look we are#victims of two empires augh ough the horror. like. it's not that that's necessarily untrue as you pointed out but a lot of the time the#people saying this stuff have done it while ignoring like. how finns have benefited from these things (and consequently how they've put#down others like the sámi or karelians or god forbid the romani people). like they say that finland was treated terribly under russian rule#and while that can be said of th russification period and whatnot before that one could argue being a part of russia was a better time#for finland than being part of sweden ever had been! autonomy and getting to develop our own language and getting our own currency#etc. like the people saying these things seems to really want finland to slot in with the rest of eastern europe and their experiences#under russian rule when the truth is that finland came out both of being a part of russia and even wwii way better than the rest even when#finnish experiences are closer to them than say sweden or western europe. i feel like this attitude has been spread for example by mr prez#candidate mika aaltola... like we've jumped from wanting to be seen as part of the west to wanting to be seen as part of the east when#there's nuance there. and that's why seeing people emphasize the colonialism and oppression finland has faced makes me abit wary n stuff#but you're definitely right! i shall look into the study you linked more. also ahdfas we had it bad so it's fine if they have it bad too#is somehow depressingly finnish. i think my mom's said those words almost exactly lmao.

and that bit about finnish colonialism being#even more shameful because we should know better from our own history is also very true and a thought i've had many times for example#when it comes to refugees. like almost half a million refugees settled all around finland after wwii and now many if not most people#are related to said refugees and they've done nothing but enrich the culture but because they weren't called refugees or asylum seekers#bur instead evakot it's different apparently. ok.#also last thing funny that you should mention the club war because i am from my ostrobothnian grandpa's side directly descended#from jaakko ilkka :D i bet his ghost hates it when i visit the turku castle - which he had to escape - by my own free will lmao#anway. would've been easir to reply as comment but i like to inconvenience myself and others. thanks for the lovely discussion! :)

I do absolutely get your weariness and it's undoubtedly justified. Painting yourself as a victim is an easy way to deflect any responsibility of your own, but it's not actually that simple, people can be both victims and perpetrators at the same time. I find those types of "we are actually the real victims :(" nationalist extremely pathetic. Like I'm irrationally angry at all the early 20th century nationalists (which I'm sure many of were just fascists) who idolized the Club War, because at the same time they were having brawls with worker union reds so obviously they were exactly the same people as all the Finnish soldiers of the colonial army killing the uprising peasants. And then there's the obvious thing that now we are very much beneficiaries of colonialism, like none of us alive have been oppressed because we are Finns (except like maybe some of the Swedish Finns, because some of those kids (obviously applies to Sámi kids too, probably even more) are still sometimes punished for speaking their first language in school there was a court case about it in EU), but Sámi people and Karelians (and as you said Romani people) are oppressed by Finland right now, so when we talk about current Finnish politics it's so pathetic to pretend to be a victim. But I do think we need to unpack both colonialism we are doing and what was done to Finns in past to actually unpack both, because they in the end come from the same white supremacist root.

The proud Finnish tradition to fuck over others after you've been fucked over... :')) And like those WW2 refugees were also treated terribly, and now people can be like "yeah remember those times when Finns were refugees?? And none of them complained about their treatment!" and yes they did (also most of them were Karelians not Finns). Literally zero ounce of solidarity in these people.

Also extremely cool of you to be a descendant of Jaakko Ilkka XD You should try chewing the Turku walls too next time you visit! xD (I don't remember if he was one of those who was punished like that but still :D) I don't think there's much to be proud of about this artificially constructed Finnish identity but like I think rebellion against exploitation is always a pretty proud heritage!

Thank you too for a very nice discussion!!

Hey, I noticed that in one of your posts you showed an Iron Age Finnish woman's dress. Would you happen to have a good idea of what Finnish men were wearing in that era? The information on it seems sparse. I do have a relevant book that I'm about to look through, but I'd like to hear your insight too!

Hi! Thanks for the question (and sorry for the slow answer), I do love Finnish Iron Age clothing so it's always my pleasure to write about it. I've been wanting to do a deep dive into this for a long while, so maybe I'll do at some point a post about women's dress too.

Unfortunately no one has good idea of the Finnish Iron Age men's dress (and if you find any book or other source that claims otherwise, do not trust it), since there's much fewer archaeological finds of men's dress than women's dress. The most accepted theory on why the textiles of women's dress survived surprisingly well is because of the bronze ornamentation commonly sewn into especially the fine women's dresses of the era. The bronze protected them from decomposing fully. Presumably men's dresses were not decorated similarly then. There are some finds though and we can piece together at least some kind of vague picture.

I will be discussing the period from Viking Age to Crusade Age in Finland. Viking Age is often defined to cover 800s to mid-1000s and the Finnish Crusade Age started right after the Viking Age and ended in the end of 1200s, where the Finnish Medieval era begins. Crusade Age refers to the period where mostly Swedish (also German) crusaders in the span of couple of centuries conquered lands of the Baltic-Finnic pagans. The crusades of this period targeted pagans all over eastern Baltic Sea, including Baltic-Finnic Karelians, Livonians and Estonians, and Baltic peoples, and the Scandinavia too, where Sámi people were targeted. After that the Finland and Sápmi were colonized by Norse people and stayed that way untill Finland was transferred under Russian rule, but to this day Sápmi still stays that way. The current Finland was very multicultural area, mostly populated by Finno-Ugric peoples, including Sámi people, Karelians and various Finnish peoples.

It's important to understand that even just Finnish peoples where not homogeneous, but had distinct, yet of course strongly related cultures. These were Finns (suomalaiset) (yes most people we now call Finns were not in fact called that) in the coast of southwestern and western Finland, Tavastians (hämäläiset) in central-western lake-Finland and Savonians (savolaiset) in central-eastern lake-Finland. This means we can't mix findings from all over Finland to reconstruct a dress without evidencing that all the elements were actually used in one place. These three tribes had broadly similar base for their clothes, but distinctive jewelry and detailing. The big divide was and has always been between eastern and western Finnish peoples. This is because western Finnish people were in close contact through the sea with Norse people and southern Baltic-Finnic peoples, while eastern Finnish people, Savonians mostly, were influenced a lot by their proximity with Karelians. Another dividing factor was the very different environmental conditions between western and eastern Finland. The Finnish coast especially in west is very flat and fertile land, while the lake area, especially in eastern Finland is very rocky, hilly and quite infertile. The main way it effected clothing differences was that western Finland being more wealthy had more elaborate clothing. Tavastians in both occasions fall quite in between, but they tended to be more in the western cultural camp.

My most important sources are a study by a doctor of cultural anthropology, Jenny Kangasvuo, Savon historia I (Savonian history) digitized and open sourced here and the digitized archeological collection of Finnish Heratage Agency. They are all in Finnish so not very useful for most people unfortunately.

Finnish Men's Dress in Viking and Crusader Ages

The basic garments men wore were broadly similar as women. They wore a shift/shirt, knee or above-knee length dress, cloak, belt, shoes and some kind of headwear. Wool was used most commonly, though the shirt would sometimes be linen too. Even evidence of silk has been found in some western Finland graves. I would assume that would be from a dress of some great man, who traveled to gain riches, possibly with vikings. Embroidery and decoration with metals was a typical feature of the whole Eastern Baltic Sea area. In Finland during this period bronze was the most common decorative metal, but silver was used too. Decorative elements were usually woven with small bronze spirals into all kinds of patterns. Here's examples from the reconstructed Ravattula's dress (Finns) used by women.

Shirt

The shirt (in Finnish shift of both women and men was called shirt) was basically a long shirt or under dress. We can assume it was similar to those of women's except shorter since the dress men wore was shorter too. They were made from wool or linen, I would assume wool was used in winter and linen in summer, when linen was even available. The neckline had a cut and closed with a bronze brooch. Horseshoe brooch was common. The first one is a quite typical bronze horseshoe brooch with a bit of ornamentation from Salo (Finns). The second one is from Tuukkala, (Savonians), it has exceptional ornate detailing and is uncommonly silver, not bronze. The third picture has two quite uniquely ornamented horseshoe brooches, first from Köyliö (Finns), second from Kurikka (Finns).

Legwear and footwear

Very little of men's legwear has survived and it's unclear weather men wore pants or separate pant legs, leg wraps or perhaps long socks. Evidence of strings decorated with bronze spirals and tablet woven band has been found in leg area of men's graves. This could mean that they wore either leg wraps, long sock or some sort of pant legs that needed to be secured with string or band under knee. Women used strings and tablet woven tape to secure leg wraps and socks, which I think supports that theory. Sometimes both bronze decorated string and tablet woven band was found in the leg area, which would still be explained by this theory, since it was common to decorate the ends of the bands with bronze decorated strings. Here's an example of sock bands just like that from the earlier mentioned reconstruction of the Ravattula's women's dress. Since men's dress was shorter, I think it would make sense if they still wore some kind of pants or separate pant legs with socks or leg wraps like that.

However, the strings and bands could have also been part of the shoes. Everyone probably wore similar shoes - laced leather shoes with a bit of pointed end. They might have been short or ankle length and the lacing was done with either leather cord or tablet woven band, which would also explain the findings. Socks or feet wraps would have been used in them, and straw or wool could be added as filling for warmth. Here's a pair of traditional Izhorian shoes from Estonia from early 1900s, and a pair of traditional Sámi shoes. The designs were likely roughly similar in Viking and Crusader Ages, though obviously more simple, and it's probable that Finnish shoes very something like that too. Here's a 1893 drawing of what findings of shoe material from Korpiselkä (Savonian or Karelian) might have looked like. Considering the quality of archaeology of that time, copious amounts of salt should be applied. And finally as a fourth picture there's reconstruction shoes from Ravattula's dress.

These are not necessarily mutually exclusive theories. The lacing of the shoe could have been laced up the leg and used also to secure either sock or leg wrapping, or they could have been separately secured in ankle and knee respectively.

In some graves twill fabric has been found in the leg area. It could be part of pants or for example leg wrapping, which was often made of twill. One theory about pants is that they were similar as some findings in Sweden, where fairly tight pants made of twill were secured at the hem with buttons similar to cuff studs. These kinds of cuff stud buttons are quite a common find in Finland and some have been found in men's graves close to legs.

Dress

Again there's not much findings of dresses, but a little more perhaps. It was usually from wool. The shape was either a tunic or an open coat. In Karelia there's findings of men's dress suggesting tunics thicker than women's dresses and made from sarka, a type of broadcloth. On the other hand, in Masku (Finns) they found buttons in a row on top of the torso, which suggest a coat closed with buttons. The first picture is a drawing of the grave find. Similary coak closing amounts of buttons have also been found in other places in western Finland. This suggests that Finns and probably Tavastians too wore long coats buttoned to the waist and Savonians wore tunic of Karelian influence. Below there's couple of version of what might this western Finnish men's coat dress could've looked like. The first is an imagined version of the coat based on the Masku grave finds, second is just as imagined version based on Eura (also Finns) grave finds.

Take these "reconstructions" with a strong dose of salt. These are more artistic reconstructions than scientific, since there's not enough material and too much guesswork needs to be done. And because we can see in the Masku grave drawing right here that the other deceased has a large buckle to (probably) close the shirt (to be fair, it could for a cloak too), like was typical, I find it implausible that the coat neckline would be small and round covering the buckle. If you make a decorated big buckle, I assume you want to show it. I would find a v-neckline more probable. It's also easier to make without wasting expensive fabric.

The buttons are interesting. There were what you would imagine - your typical buttons made of bronze like seen in the first artifact from Hattula (Tavastians). But then there was silver jingle bells used as buttons, found for example in both Masku and Eura graves, Eura findings pictured below.

It's possible, even probable I'd say, that the hemlines of men's dresses were finished with tablet weaving patterns, like women's dresses. Also I would assume the pattern of the men's dress (and shirt) was mostly similar to the women's underdress/shirt patterns. So here's couple of different reconstruction patterns for women's dress. Different historians have made different interpretations of the patterns, so it's very much undecided what it really was like.

Belt

This is likely the most ornamental part of men's dress. They could be made out of leather or tablet woven band. And there's another east-west cultural divide here. Karelian belts were made out of leather, were usually 1,5-2,5 cm wide, decorated with iron or bronze studs and had a buckle made out of iron or bronze. These types of belts have been found in Savonia too, for example in Tuukkala grave find, which you can find very cool pictures of in this photo documentation of the dig in pages 173-175. In western Finland a "hela" belt was the common style. I don't think there's a world for hela in English. It's a sort of decorative lamella, small metallic plate (not necessarily square but often so) attached to fabric or leather with studs or sewing. Hela belt came from the Permians of Kama river, who were one of the many Finno-Ugric peoples who used to populate much of European side of Russia. Karelians lived closer to Permians, so you might think Permians would influence eastern Finland more, but my theory is that the costal Finns, who frequently joined viking crews and at least were in close contact with merchants including vikings, who would travel along the eastern route through the eastern European rivers, where they could go all the way to Kama river or at least meet traveling Permians. Here's yet another Finnish source more on the Finno-Ugric people around Kama river.

Anyway, hela belt was made of leather and filled with small decorated lamellas, often in square shape, but various other shapes too, like animal ornamentation. In this period hela belt helas were bronze. First image is a nice full set of hela belt metal pieces found in Pirkanmaa (Finns). Second is an older example, right before Viking Era, from Vaasa, costal settlement, (Finns), depicting a very Permian style. The third one is a lion hela found separately in Pälkäne (Tavastians). They are also found in Tuukkala, showing that both eastern and western cultural influences were present there at the same time.

Another western Finnish belt type for men had intricate tassels decorated with bronze spirals hanging on the waist at the end of the belt. They could be made out of leather or tablet woven band. First image depicts a reconstruction of such tassel. Belts in east and west would have strap dividers to hang straps for things like purse, knife and sword. The first picture above has couple of those, but the second picture below has two more of them in more detail in the middle of the picture. These finds are from Lieto (Finns).

Cloak

Like women's cloak, men's cloak was woolen and either a square or trapezoid. Cloak is yet another east-west divide. In western Finland men's cloaks have embroidery with bronze spirals. They in fact appeared earlier in men's cloaks (in 900s) than in women's cloaks (1100s). They were also a little different in men's cloaks. The spirals and the patterns themselves were bigger and the fastening thread itself was also used for the pattern creation, unlike in women's dresses, where the thread was mostly covered. In eastern Finland there has been no finds of bronze decorations in men's cloaks, mostly only cloak brooches have been left of them. Unsurprisinly same applies to Karelia. This also means there's very little fabric left too. There's one exception. In Tuukkala (Savonians) they found a piece of fabric probably from men's cloak, though it could be from a men's dress too. It was striped, with possibly white or brown base and wide stripes of red, blue and yellow. So perhaps eastern Finnish cloak was not non-decorated, but the decoration was in the fabric pattern. Unfortunately it's hard to know how common fabric like that was, when so little of it is left.

Accessories

It's safe to assume men too wore some type of headwear, but none of those has survived. It probably means it was entirely made out of fabric whatever it was. Some type of hat or cap was certainly used in cold weather at the very least. Tablet woven headband was also possible option for not too cold weather.

In Tuukkala there was couple of interesting jewelry finds too. Two graves had a necklace type mostly found in Karelia. It was birchbark tape covered with nettle fabric and had square helas sewn into it. There were also more typical Finnish necklaces made of beads and bronze spirals.

Razors have also been found with men in their burials, so we can assume shaven faces or at least trimmed beards and moustaces were fashionable.

[kestalsblog]

Things to Keep in Mind While Writing Poetry: for "Pretentious Poets"

(Long Post)

Let's start this off with an important reminder. In poetry, we should never assume "I" or any first-person pronouns are the same as the poet/author. They relate to the speaker of the poem, who may or may not be the poet. The speaker is like a characer in a story. With that being said, be prepared for many readers to conflate the two no matter what - and let's be honest, many times you do intend the "I" in poems to be you, the poet.

In poetry, there is a tendency to meditate on philosophical concepts, right? And something interesting often happens when we meditate on the meaning of life, the nature of man, etc., etc. We get big egos. We get pretentious and think we have all the right answers and start blaming everyone else, developing a "me vs. them" mentality even if we don't mean to.

This can lead our poems to sound pretentious, preachy, or more arrogant than we intend. In attempting to condemn what we see wrong and rewrite reality to mach our own ideals, we forget that we too are often responsible of the same vices of which we accuse our fellow human beings.

This habit can lead us to do many harmful things in poetry, including but not limited to the below:

Imposing our own thoughts on other living things (including animals, which are definitely not sharing our same thoughts and perspectives). I recommend reading "The Fish" by Elizabeth Bishop if you want a fantastic example of a poem that uses an animal to talk about human ideas and then by the end appropriately lets it go. But this one can be super terrible in some cases. Remember those wretched people who tried to claim slaves were happy because they would sing in the plantation fields? Yeah, never assume you know what another person is thinking and never impose your thoughts on them.

Using the suffering of people we know to make a point. Example: you might write a poem about a loved one's death to stake a claim about the unfairness of the world. Well, don't forget that you are writing about a real person. Make sure you do that person justice and don't just use them as a springboard or a symbol. Your loved one is MORE than a symbol. Much more. You might be so caught up in your heightened emotions, you don't even realize. But no one is just a symbol for your poem! Yes, suffering can be included in poems. But should it be romanticized at the cost of another human being?

Positioning yourself as the know-it-all saint, God's mouthpiece. Preacher Poet. "Look at all these people and all the ways they have ruined the world! Let me teach you the truth!" Well, bud, take a look in the mirror. I bet you've hurt someone else. I bet you've contributed to the destruction of the environment. I know you don't want to come off as holier-than-thou in your poems. This can lead to the below issue too.

Ignoring all the bad things to save face. You know that Facebook friend you have you're super jealous of? The one who's always posting flawless pictures of her super-amazing family while you're miserably scrolling along, wondering how anyone can be so happy. Like those white-teethed people on Facebook, perfect, sugary-saccharine poems about good ol' you start to give more cavities than joy. You're not the perfect FB person in real life, so don't be that in poems. Not saying to air all your dirty laundry for the world to see, but a good reader can point out fake-cheer. There's an opposite way to go, too (see below).

Competing in the trauma/oppressed Olympics. "I am the most hurt person alive. Everything that has happened to me is the worst thing ever and no one understands." I don't think I need to elaborate much on this one, but open your mind while writing and remember the plight of others as much as your own. Many people do understand and poetry can be a beautiful way of connecting to other people and sharing our truths. We love to write about our trauma because it helps us work through it in a healthy way, but we shouldn't diminish others' pain to do this.

Assuming you know everything. Spoiler: you don't. No need to keep reading your poem. One of the best parts of poetry is its inquistive nature. Poets and readers can ponder a question together, and what is more intimate, more lovely than that?

All this is to say that poetry requires a kind of self-awareness and empathy some other forms of writing don't. It's personal. It's both private and open. Can you get away with the above if you're an amazing, self-aware poet? Sure. Can you break the rules and write a satirical poem, purposely positioning yourself as a pretenious a-hole? Yeah. But the issue is that a lot of beginning poets are making these mistakes very genuinely and might be a little horrified to realize how their poems come across to some readers. I believe in the goodness of most people deep down.

Anyway, stay mindful, poets.

[P.S. No, I don't know everything either! I think tip and advice articles can start to sound know-it-all themselves. I just compile thoughts and ideas I've gathered and have learned from others along the way that I find useful :) We're all learning, right? I'm just really passionate].

[mogai-sunflowers]

ok this is not at you but i need to get this out because i almost posted it to my own blog. cuz im pissed lmao /lh

-

people have such an obsession with creating the “good” teams and “bad” teams in this community, not realizing that it can just cause further oppression, suffering, and less social acceptance for people.

i used to run a blog for alloaro discussion, since i formerly identified that way. i remember when people said alloarophobia couldn’t exist, because you can’t be oppressed for being allo. sure, alloaros are oppressed, but only for being aro. it’s not a special microlabel because being allo is a privilege.

maybe that’s why i don’t buy into the current debate on terms like “transandrophobia.” because it’s recycled. it’s not new, it’s not a “hot take,” it’s bigotry taken to its furthest point under a new form of discourse, because it always evolves. does “androphobia” exist? on it’s own, no. but like alloarophobia, it does exist under certain circumstances, due to being in another group.

allos aren’t oppressed as a group, but gay allos are for expressing their sexuality in a way society doesn’t approve of, for being openly sexual with people of the same gender, for being allo in a way that amatonormantivity didn’t account for. alloaros are, for being okay with sexuality without romance, for being okay with FWBs, for not wanting the nuclear family, all while still being comfortable in their non-normative sexuality, and so on, so forth.

men aren’t oppressed as a group, but trans men are for not being seen as real men, for being forced into specific roles, for not having reproductive rights, for invisibility. men of color are, for how they’re painted as aggressive and violent, for how they’re often targets of unjustified attacks and even deaths for this very stereotype. mlm are, intersex men are, gender nonconforming men are.

when are people going to realize that this isn’t anything new, and they’re just being transphobic? i keep seeing it in terms of both gender and attraction. people think these jokes about how being a guy or liking guys is gross, when people literally die for being attracted to men, or for fighting to be considered one in a society that wants them to fade into obscurity. you aren’t being revolutionary, you aren’t lifting up whoever the fuck you think you are, you’re just causing more suffering for a group that frankly, has suffered fucking enough.

if you pick apart labels that describe oppression based off of whether the components exist on their own, you’re not an ally for any of us.

tell me what two magical components make up biphobia that “justify” the word existing. or aphobia, or even homophobia. is it okay for the term “alloarophobia” to exist even though “allophobia” doesn’t? if you’re in this community, there’s a 99% chance you’d say yes. because “allophobia” becomes possible under certain circumstances, such as being aro. kinda weird right? clearly, the axis doesn’t exist, because the two components on its own typically don’t. (sarcasm)

but that’s not really what the problem is, is it. this semantics over language, over whether the term is accurate based off of the etymology… that’s not the issue. the issue is, some people just don’t want to admit how deeply transphobic they are, and how willing they’d be to let huge chunks of us suffer and die because we don’t fit their perfect categorization of what “counts” or “deserves” to exist.

to some people, this shit is just a game and not lived experience. it’s internet discourse. because to them, it matters more than the lives and genuine safety of real queer people. it’s nice to know how many people in the queer community would turn on a dime and not stand for their fellow community members based off of it.

i’m honestly willing to bet a huge portion of these people would be the same ones who helped me get recloseted as an ace person because “aphobia can’t exist,” the same ones who called us “bihets” and based us off of our “privilege” instead of recognizing biphobia as a term. the day people realize that this is recycled bigotry and not some revolutionary OwnTM that you think it is will be the day we can finally move forward as a community instead of bickering and squabbling in the gutter.

these people are not just against transmasc allyship, but queer allyship as a whole, until they get over this shit. end of discussion.

anon this is the best description of this i think i've ever seen. you're so right. thank you thank you thank you.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝗥𝗘𝗘𝗗𝗨𝗞𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡 || dark!jan (the edukators/die fetten Jahre sind vorbei) x reader

𝗦𝗨𝗠𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗬 | in scoping out his next target, jan hadn't realised that you wouldn't be joining your family on their next vacation; in choosing to stay home, you hadn't realised what you were in for.

𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗 𝗖𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗧 | 4.3k

𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗦 | smut (noncon, with fingering and penetrative sex), innocence kink, virginity loss/first time, brief exhibitionism, degradation, daddy kink, spitting (in mouth and on pussy), breaking and entering/home invasion, touch of misogyny kink, slight objectification kink (petnames like babydoll/dolly being 99% of this), slight bleeding (from sex specifically), death mention (no threats, just the fear of threats if that makes sense?)

𝗔/𝗡 | you don't need to have seen the movie to understand this fic, as long as you know that jan and his friends break into rich people's houses as part of their anti-capitalist rebellion. note that the vast majority of dialogue is written in english for simplicity, but that these conversations would actually take place fully in german.

this is a DARK fic, if you hit 'keep reading' I don't wanna hear you upset about content listed clearly in the warnings section

It’s probably normal to hear a bump in the night, to wake up and be a little freaked out, but to ultimately just stay in bed and not do anything about it. At first you were sure you were sure it was nothing, though your gut told you otherwise; then, as you heard more and more you spent quite some time convincing yourself that it was just pipes creaking or the foundation settling. But the thing about pipes and foundations is they don’t speak German.

“Hier entlang, hier entlang,” someone whispered, and footsteps shifted all along the lower floor.

Maybe you were still asleep, and this was just a strange dream, a terrifying dream. You pulled the blanket up over your head and prayed to wake up, but the denial turned to terror when you heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

You jumped out of bed, but it was too late to go out your bedroom door— you could hear them walking and whispering outside. Your bathroom had a small window, but even if you managed to fit through it you’d be on the second story with no way to ropel down. Maybe in your mind you could be some daring adventurer with the perfect plan to escape, or with the skills to defend yourself with something random you could grab, but you knew better than to really think you could do anything but hide.

As the footsteps and voices got louder, your eyes frantically searched the room and finally landed on the large upright dresser— maybe it was a little obvious, but it had a handy little feature that made it lock from the inside. It had come in handy for a decade of hide-and-seek, and now it would hopefully serve you one last time.

With not a second to spare, you ran over and grabbed the golden handles, swinging the doors open but being careful to shut them quietly after you’d stepped inside and made room for yourself among the coats and dresses. You searched for the lock in the pitch darkness, only able to find it because it was right above the keyhole that glowed from the dim light outside. Just as you turned the knob and heard the metal lock slide inside the wooden door, you heard your bedroom door open.

Someone walked around your room briefly, you even heard them pick something up and set it down— probably your bedside lamp, based on where it was coming from, but you obviously couldn’t be sure and frankly didn’t care that much. Footsteps approached the dresser and you saw the keyhole light up as a flashlight passed over it.

“Let’s take all the clothes and put them in the fireplace,” a voice in the room announced. “We won’t actually light the fireplace, but it sends a message.”

You covered your mouth with your hand to try to keep quiet when the doors shook briefly from an attempt to open them.

“Fuck, it’s locked.”

“Here, you go on to the next room, I’ll pick it,” a second voice decided, and you heard more footsteps as someone else approached the armoire. “Look how fancy the dresser is, they’ve probably got furs in here too— god knows people living in a house like this can’t miss an opportunity to destroy the environment.”

You heard something jiggle inside the keyhole, a clicking noise that went on for just a few moments before you heard the metal slide inside the wood again and the doors slowly opened.

A man, dressed in black and holding a flashlight in his gloved hands, stared at you from behind a mask that left only his brown eyes visible. You both stood still, staring at each other, until he did exactly the last thing you expected: he lifted the mask up to his forehead and showed you his face.

He was a lot younger than you would’ve expected, though he had the scruffy beard of a guy trying to look older; his teeth were slightly crooked when he smiled at you, and when he raised a brow while he gave you a quick look-over, you noticed the way they almost connected in the middle.

Under his gaze, you suddenly felt very aware of how little your lacy, baby pink nightgown protected you from the chilling night air.

"Well, what's this?" he asked coyly as he watched you shiver. "Guess these capitalist pigs left one of their little piglets behind." He put on a cooing sort of voice as he addressed you directly: "Did mummy and daddy leave you all alone while they went on holiday?"

He stepped closer even as you tried to shrink away, examining you carefully.

“Get out of there, silly, what are you hiding for? I’m not gonna hurt you,” he assured, not that you found it especially comforting. When you didn’t step out of your own accord, he grabbed your arm and roughly yanked you forward; he slammed the dresser doors behind you, and you whimpered in fear as he pinned you down against them by each arm. "Shh, hey, don't worry— I'm here to take care of you, you can call me daddy instead until your heartless banker father gets back. Go ahead, tell me what's wrong."

"I—"

"Ah ah," he tutted with a mix of bemusement and disappointment, "I already told you how to address me."

You shuddered but finally responded, "Daddy, I'm scared."

He gave you a demeaning little pout, but you continued.

"Some men broke in and I'm alone and… and I don't know if they want to hurt me."

"No, baby, they don't want to hurt you," he promised with a gentle smile, but it turned horrifically sinister as he leaned in to add with a whisper: "but we will if we have to."

You swallowed thickly, your gut twisting when you felt him breathe out against your neck.

"So you're gonna be a good girl, right?"

You nodded quickly, turning away when he leaned in closer, looking down at you with darkened eyes and running the fingers of his black gloves over the neckline of your pyjamas.

“You were just waiting for me, huh? All tucked in in your cute little nightgown, dressed up like a doll,” he grinned. “I bet you want daddy to play with you, hm?”

He laughed cruelly when you shook your head, fighting harder to get away again as he squeezed your arms tight enough to leave marks where his fingers had been.

“Wanna play, little dolly?” he continued, pressing his body into yours and roughly shoving his leg between your thighs. “I know you do… c'mon and give me a kiss," he requested.

“N-no,” you stammered, but he grabbed your jaw in his gloved hand and forced you to look ahead, slamming his lips onto yours and ignoring your muffled protests. When he pinched your side you gasped instinctively, and he shoved his tongue inside your mouth roughly— but that only lasted for a moment, before you found renewed strength and managed to shove him back. It wasn’t far enough to free yourself, but enough to get a break from the oppressive kiss.

“Aw, don’t be mean,” he pouted, wiping his mouth with the back of his gloved hand. “You said you’d be good for me, remember?”

“Just stop, please,” you whined, gasping before you could stop yourself when he rubbed his thigh up against you— hitting right on your clit which throbbed in spite of everything. Somehow the fear made you more sensitive, or at least something had because you’d never felt quite like this before.

“See? You’re all worked up,” he explained, “I’m gonna help you.”

This time when he leaned in he started to kiss and suck at your neck instead, starting right beneath your ear and moving down slowly until his tongue laved over the crook where your shoulder began. As much as you hated it, it made arousal pulse between your legs where his thigh continued to push hard on you.

When he moved even closer, you could feel his erection against your hip; you didn’t even realise that you’d let out a gasp until you felt him smile against your neck. “Oh, babydoll… you want daddy’s cock inside you, I can tell.”

“N-no, I don’t— just stop,” you begged.

“If only it were so easy, to just ask someone to stop,” he mused. “You know how many times we asked people like your father to stop before they fucked us? You know how far that gets us? You don’t just get to ask nicely, you have to fight for it…”

He chuckled as you writhed in his embrace.

“But you’re too weak to fight, poor thing.”

"Please, I'm not a part of whatever you’re talking about,” you tried to explain, “I don't know much about what Papa does at work—"

"That's your problem, baby, you're blissfully ignorant! Not all of us have that luxury. But the good news is, I'm here to educate you." He pushed up even closer to you, speaking lowly right into your ear with rage starting to bubble up in his voice. "Your father is a piece of scum who feeds on the working class and then robs them blind. You live like this, unquestioningly, and the rest of Germany suffers. Stuck-up bitch like you wouldn't even notice me if you saw me on the street, would you? Wouldn't even give me the time of day, but now you're at my mercy. That’s what you people need to learn: that you’re not gonna be on top forever.”

Suddenly you felt his hand cup your sex through your nightgown, and you choked on your gasp. “No—!” you started to shout, but his right hand covered your mouth as the left hastily pulled your pyjamas up and reached under them.

“Stop fucking squirming,” he grunted as he reached between your kicking legs and slid quickly up your thigh. “Mm, bet you’re hiding a pretty little cunt under this nightgown— hold still, baby, you’re gonna like this.”

Finally maneuvring his way into your panties, he abruptly shoved two gloved fingers inside of you, watching closely as you scrunched your face up tight in discomfort. He thrusted and twisted them around for a bit, carelessly stretching you open as you tried desperately to squirm away; it stung a bit, and the leather of the gloves was cool and awkwardly firm against your walls. For some reason, when he dropped his free hand from your face, you didn’t try to scream again— maybe because you knew no one who cared could hear you— and you just panted heavily instead.

As quickly as he’d pushed them in he pulled them out, bringing the glove up to his mouth to take it off with his teeth with a little growl before rubbing his bare hand over your pussy again. You whimpered when he slid his fingers inside you again, this time feeling the texture of his skin as he curled the pads of his fingers right against your spot. “Yeah?” he mumbled his taunt around the leather between his teeth before spitting the glove out onto the floor. “Fuck, so warm… you’re so wet already, dolly, has nobody been giving this pussy any attention?”

He stopped moving his fingers inside you to pull out and give your clit a few slaps, licking his lips when you cried out from the sharp sensation.

“Huh?” he reminded you to answer when you never gave a response.

“N-no,” you shook your head, finally, and he smiled like he was proud of himself.

“Yeah? You’re not a virgin, are you?”

You only looked down at the floor, blinking a few times as you focused on the teal carpet, and heard him laugh darkly.

“Oh, dolly, I might break you,” he warned roughly as he pushed your gown up to your waist, ignoring your sobbed pleas for him to stop. “We don’t usually take anything from the people we visit, but if I take your virginity maybe your people will finally get the message.”

“Please— you don’t have to do that,” you stammered, rushing through whatever you could think of to make him change his mind, “I won’t tell anyone you were here. You can have whatever you want, if I call them they can send you money—”

“You aren’t even fucking listening to me, we don’t want your expensive bullshit and we don’t want your dirty fucking money!” he corrected sternly, clutching your sleeves tighter and shaking you slightly with the intensity of his movements. “We just want you to be afraid, because the revolution is coming.”

But you were afraid of something much more imminent than a revolution.

“Get on the fucking bed,” he demanded, though you couldn’t do much else considering he was already roughly tossing you onto it, climbing on top of you and pinning you down when you started to crawl back instinctively. With his legs resting on yours and keeping you (somewhat) still, he only needed one hand to grab your shoulders while the other rushed to open his jeans.

Your eyes got a little wide when you saw his cock— before that, it was almost like some part of you didn’t really think he’d go through with his, but now you could see clearly that he was hard and ready… and big enough to make you question how that thing was even supposed to fit inside you.

He tore through your panties like they were paper; he lifted and spread your legs as he sat between them and, much to your humiliation, just stared down at your pussy for a moment. You’d never felt so exposed and it made you feel worse than ever. “Knew you’d have a pretty cunt,” he announced smugly, “can’t wait to see it all stretched out and covered in my come— I’m gonna ruin you, babydoll.”

You weakly struggled as he held your hips down with one hand and haphazardly stroked his cock a few times with the other, rubbing himself over your opening before pulling his hips back to spit right onto your clit. After spreading the improvised lubrication around with his head for a moment, he pushed down on it with his thumb to line up with your hole and, without any further warning, slid inside in one motion.

You bit down on your lip hard, and even that wasn’t enough to distract you from the sting; it felt like he was ripping you open, not to mention going so deep that you could feel him in your stomach.

He groaned loudly, head falling back for a moment as he started to thrust into you. “Fuck, I can tell you’re a virgin— it must be hurting you, huh?”

But the question was a bit redundant, since tears had already begun to stream down your temples and your fingers were clutching tightly onto the sheets beneath you; if they were any less expensive, they probably would’ve ripped.

“Maybe a little pain will be good for you,” he decided with a smirk, “I think a spoiled brat like you has been spared the rod a few too many times.”

It was definitely more than a ‘little’ pain, and it only seemed to sting more each time he pulled back and pushed in again— he wasn’t going very fast, yet, so that was one thing you could almost be thankful for. That said, he wasn’t very gentle either.

He hastily reached up under your nightgown to grope your breasts, quickly moving from one to the other as he squeezed them just a bit too hard. “You like how daddy plays with your tits, don’t you?” he grunted. “Say, ‘yes daddy.’”

“Y-yes, daddy,” you mumbled awkwardly; maybe being embarrassed to say that was superfluous considering everything else happening right now, but your face got warmer regardless.

A whimper almost caught in your throat when he pinched your hardened nipples, but it broke through when he seemingly-randomly gave a spank to your inner thigh.

He looked down at where your bodies were joined, where he was stretching you out with steady pumps of his cock that filled you to the brim, before reaching up to quickly pull his black sweater off over his head— a t-shirt underneath came off with it as his chest was exposed. He wasn’t unreasonably pale but he clearly wasn’t the type to get a ton of sun, and he had a thin scattering of dirty-blonde hair over some of it. It was sort of embarrassing, now, seeing how thin he was and yet he was still so much stronger than you.

"You're getting so wet, babydoll, look— you're making a mess on these expensive sheets," he grinned. And he wasn't lying; the sting of the stretch had slowly faded, replaced with a friction you actually couldn't help but enjoy. Each time he moved, he seemed to slide right over a spot that made you tighten up your legs so they wouldn't shake.

But, apparently, there was still plenty left that he could do to hurt you.

You cried out, so louder it echoed across the room, when he suddenly thrust into you hard and deep, hitting the very end of you as your body involuntarily jolted— he clapped his hand down over your mouth instantly, muffling your cries to near-silence as he set a punishingly fast pace out of nowhere. You couldn’t turn your head when you heard your bedroom door open, but you could glance to the side and see another burglar appear in the doorway, staring forward at the scene in front of him.

A new sense of shame burned inside you for being seen in such a way; oddly, it came with guilt, too, as if you were doing something wrong yourself, when really it was just something wrong being done to you. The man on top of you didn’t seem to feel much of either, though: he didn’t even slow down.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?" the other man asked his partner, face still hidden but his voice a mixture of bewildered and disgusted. "This isn't how we roll."

"Fuck off, I'm almost done," your attacker scoffed. You tried to use the distraction to fight him again— you swung your arms to try to scratch his face or push him away, but without even hesitating he simply stopped covering your mouth to pin your wrists at either side of your head.

"Is this really what you think the revolution is about?" the man in the door sneered. "Or does that even matter to you when you think you might get some ass? Jesus, I always knew you were a creep but this is…" he trailed off.

"Maybe you should take a turn with her, might fix your attitude," the man on top of you suggested. "She's real tight— trust me, you'll feel better."

"I promise that raping that girl isn't gonna make me feel better, Jan," he frowned.

"Fine, then just go so I can finish and I'll meet you guys in the yard," Jan— apparently that was his name— instructed.

"Don't go," you begged the man in the door, seeing the concern on his face— you could tell he wanted to stop Jan, maybe if you asked him to, he would.

"Shut up, bitch," Jan growled, correcting you with a slap to the face.

The man in the doorway just shook his head and sighed, stepping back into the hall and shutting the door behind him. You cried harder, more sure than ever that Jan was right when he said you were at his mercy; and he didn’t seem to have much.

He fucked you rough and fast, recklessly chasing his own pleasure with no regard for yours. Unfortunately, that didn’t mean that you didn’t feel any pleasure, though… it was building, in fact, sort of like when you touched yourself but so much stronger, and deeper, and threatening to overflow at any moment. “Oh fuck, you’re close,” he noticed with a tilted grin, “you love it so fucking much, huh? Wanna cream on daddy’s cock?”

You shook your head but he slapped you again, spinning your face to the side as he held both your wrists above your head in one hand and gripped your jaw with the other.

“Stop lying,” he growled, “I can feel it, I can feel your cunt getting tighter… you’re gonna come so fucking hard for me, aren’t you, babydoll? God, what a nasty fucking whore you are…”

He held your face to look straight ahead, up at where he hovered above you and bared his teeth in a snarl, before forcing your mouth open and spitting into it. You grimaced and tried even harder to squirm away but he quickly clamped his hand down over your nose and mouth so you couldn’t try to spit it back out again.

“C’mon, swallow it,” he instructed roughly, voice a bit strained from the force it took to hold you down. You could hardly breathe with his hand this way, and when you tilted your head back to try to get away from it, you accidentally swallowed his spit with a disgusted, muffled grunt. “There you go, good girl,” he purred as he watched your throat bob a bit involuntarily, “that’s it, I know you wanna come— say it! Say ‘daddy I wanna come.’”

He let go of your mouth and slapped you again before you even had a chance to hesitate. “D-daddy,” you whined, “I… I—”

“It’s not that fucking hard,” he hissed, “just say it, you dumb fucking slut!”

One more slap was apparently all you needed to just choke it out: “I wanna come, daddy!” you cried, back starting to arch as the pressure of holding back your release became too much to bear.

“Then fucking come,” he demanded, “come for me, baby, right fucking now.”

You tried to hold out just a moment longer, just to spite him, just so you wouldn’t obey him so easily… but it only took one rough thrust right into the end of you to make it all spill over. You came with a sob, shaking and jerking beneath him for a moment before a warmth spread through you; it started right where he filled you and spread everywhere until your mind was all foggy and your fingers started to go numb— or maybe that was just because of him pinning you down at the wrists.

Much to your disgust, you could hear how wet you had become with every stroke inside you, a sickening squelching noise that made him laugh as your face tingled with numbness and burned with shame all at once. “Oh fuck, that’s it,” he praised, “naughty little dolly, making a mess on daddy’s cock with that dirty fucking cunt of yours… I’m gonna cover it in my come, are you ready, baby? Ask daddy to come on your pussy, don’t make me hit you again.”

“Daddy, please,” you mumbled quietly, “come on my pussy…”

“I can’t hear you, babydoll, you need to speak up,” he mocked.

And you were just so exhausted and overwhelmed and his thrusts inside your sensitive walls were starting to get painful again— that was why you really meant it when you sobbed through your begging: “Please, daddy, come on my pussy!”

With one more panted moan he pulled out and only had to give his cock one blur of a stroke before white, warm come began to paint over your sore opening, your swollen clit, your bruised inner thighs. “Fuuucckkk…” he groaned under his breath as he watched himself coat you, and you caught a tinge of pink from your blood on his cock and hand as he slowed down to a stop. "Sheiße," he sighed, letting go of your wrists to sit up and close his eyes for a moment before looking down again at where you were limp and splayed out on your bed beneath him. “See? I’m getting reckless, I really shouldn’t be leaving evidence…”

Even without that, you knew his name and face, but apparently he was focusing on the copious amounts of DNA he’d just left on you.

“I suppose it won’t be a problem, because you’re not going to tell anyone,” he posited, leaning down slightly to hover over you as you swallowed around the rock that had suddenly formed in your throat. “You know how I know you won’t?”

You weakly shook your head, already terrified to imagine what the answer to that question was going to be. Of course, your first assumption was that he was going to kill you, or threaten to do so if you involved the police. He knew where you lived, he could threaten your family, too: the thought made your skin crawl as he leaned down further to whisper right against your ear as you instinctively turned your face away from him.

“Because if you tell someone that I raped you,” he finally continued, “then you’ll also have to tell them that you liked it.”

Speaking right against your ear, it took him no effort at all to stick his tongue out and lick you right on it, making you squeal with fear and disgust.

He quickly hopped off the bed and recollected himself, stuffing his softening and blood-stained cock back into his pants before gathering his discarded clothes from the floor. "Your folks won't be home for two more nights, right? I should come visit you again," he winked when he spared a glance at you. “Now get some rest, baby, you deserve it. Don’t worry, I’ll lock the front door behind me when we leave… wouldn’t want anybody unsavory getting in, now would we?”

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE ー Yuma Dark [10]

ー The scene starts in the living room of the Sakamaki Castle

Yui: ( ーー It’s already been three hours since Yuma-kun left for his room. )

( I know I decided I would give him some space for now, but I’m seriously getting worried...I’ll go check up on him real quick. )

ー The scene shifts to the entrance hall

*Knock knock*

Yui: Yuma-kun? 

( ...No response. Is he not in here? )

*Clink*

Yui: ( Ah...The door has been left unlocked...I’ll take a little peek inside. )

...Pardon the intrusion. 

ー Yui enters the room

Yui: Yuma-kun...?

Yuma: ...

Yui: Ah...

( Oh, he’s just asleep. I shouldn’t disturb him now. I’ll quietly leave again so I don’t wake him up. )

Yuma: ...The village is...

Yui: Eh...?

Yuma: Damnit...How...?

Yui: ( Is he talking in his sleep...? But he seems to be suffering. His forehead is covered in sweat. ...I wonder if he’s being plagued by a bad dream? )

Wake up, Yuma-kun. 

Yuma: ...

Yui: It’s no use, he won’t wake up...What should I do...?

( Right! I’m pretty sure that when I was little, father would hold my hand whenever I was having a nightmare. )

( It’s the only thing I can do, but if it’d help comfort him even just the slightest bit... )

*Rustle*

Yui: Yuma-kun...

*Rustle*

Yuma: ...!!

Haah...haah...What...? A dream...?

Yui: Are you okay, Yuma-kun? 

Yuma: ...! Oh, you’re here?

Yui: Yes. I’m sorry for entering your room without permission...

Yuma: God...Oh well, it’s fine.

Anyway, ya held my hand, huh?

Yui: Oh no. I should apologize for not being able to do more.

Are you...okay? You were grunting quite a bit...

Yuma: Yeah...

Yui: ( He seems sad...He must have had a really bad dream... )

Selection

→ Do not ask anything (♡)

Yui: ( I guess I shouldn’t ask him about his dream. Although I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t somewhat curious... )

Yuma: ...Ya won’t ask anythin’, huh? I mean, better for me. 

→ Ask him about the dream

Yui: Hey, Yuma-kun. Can I ask something? 

What did you dream about exactly? You said something about a village in your sleep...

Yuma: ...Ugh.

Yui: Yuma-kun...?

Yuma: Anyway, why did ya enter my room in the first place? Were ya hopin’ to jump me in my sleep, huh? 

Yui: N-Not at all! I was just worried about you, that’s all...

Yuma: Aah? I thought I told ya I needed some alone time? 

Yui: You did, but...Still, you didn’t leave your room for quite some time, so I feared that something might have happened...

Yuma: Ya say all of that, but I bet ya actually just missed me, didn’t ya? Fine. You can have my full attention now.

ー He pins her down

*Thud* 

Yui: Wait, Yuma-kun...!? 

Yuma: Whatcha freakin’ out for? You’re the one who basically threw yerself at me, ya know? Fillin’ the room with yer delicious scent...

I wanna suck yer blood now. ...Come on, let me.

Yui: No way...Wait, Yuma-kun!

Yuma: I don’t play the waitin’ game. How does the sayin’ go? Ya shouldn’t turn down a feast when it’s offered to ya? (1) ...Nn. 

ー Yuma bites her

Yui: Ah...

Yuma: Nn...Hah...Yer blood really is amazin’. Just one sip...and I feel like I’m losin’ control already...

Come on...Gimme more...Nn...Haah...Nnh...

Yui: No...Ah...

Yuma: Don’t move. I don’t feel like holdin’ back right now...So if ya move yer head ‘round, you’ll end up hurtin’ yerself, understood? 

Yui: Yuma...ku...

Yuma: Ya can’t possibly get away from me, so just keep still and behave. Soon enough you’ll start feelin’ good as well...

Nn...Phew, nn...

Yui: Ah...Nnh...

( His fangs are digging deep into my skin... )

( This harsh treatment almost makes it seem like we’ve gone back in time, to when I had only just met Yuma-kun... )

( Yuma-kun, what on earth has gotten into you...? )

Monologue

Amidst my slowly fading consciousness, I felt a slight tinge of fear. 

And at the same time, a certain suspicion runs through the back of my mind.

ーー I wonder why exactly,

Yuma-kun is doing this? 

This forceful, oppressive behavior,

makes it seem as if he is trying to hide (隠そうとしている) something from me.

It might just very well be,

related to the dream he had. 

I wonder if it was that intense of a dream (夢)? 

That he simply has no other choice but to use brute force,

in an attempt to divert my attention away from it.

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Yuma refers to the Japanese idom 据え膳食わぬは男の恥 which literally means ‘not eating the meal set before him is a man’s shame’. However, the term 据え膳 or ‘sue-zen’ is often used to refer to a woman’s advances as well. So basically he means that if he were to brush her off now, he would fail as a man. :p

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<-[ Dark 09 ] [ Dark Epilogue ] ->

[amporella]

sorry, up to u whether to post this publicly, i feel like this is just a dump; i unfollowed romancewithtegridy a few weeks ago after they had posted something loosely like, "you are not more special than straight peopl if you are lgbt, ppl like that pisses me off" and it was one of their drunken rants or whatnot. and ofc theyre nobody is better than anyone else for their sexuality. im sure nobody lgbt thinks like that outside of the internet. if they actually stepped outside of their fkin (1)

You know what, anon. This comes off as a little harsh, but honestly, I feel pretty much the exact same way. It's not that I don't understand why people would miss or feel sympathy towards her - I wasn't close to her (I don't think we ever actually had a conversation) but I know some people were - but I feel absolutely none of it. Her mental illness was obviously serious, but it doesn't justify her behavior, and when choosing how to handle a situation like that, you focus on the victims (people who were actually hurt by her posts) rather than the person posting. I'm sure romancewithtegridy was suffering, and I feel for her in that regard, but I feel comfortable in saying that the majority of people following me have also gone through mental health issues yet have never resorted to racial and homophobic slurs.

In response to nobody else thinking that way outside the internet; you're totally right, and those kind of posts are a major pet peeve of mine. I'll occasionally see posts cross my dashboard along those lines (my absolute favorite is 'it's okay for men to be masculine', with 'it's okay to like wearing makeup' as a close second), but like, those things aren't actually an issue off the internet. Nobody's oppressing straight people for being straight off the internet, and frankly, I bet her constant presence online was (while maybe not a primary reason, as I don't know her well enough to make that call) a contributing factor to her mental decline. If you start feeling legitimately agitated by things that you see online for an extended period of time, and that agitation overwhelms your enjoyment, log off. Go sit outside. It won't fix everything, but it'll make you feel a lot better!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts <3

[itsmeanyango]

THE SUN IN VIRGO IN THE HOUSES(SUN TRANSIT IN THE HOUSES)

So incase you guys don't know, the sun is malefic and that's what we are going to talk about on the last day of Leo season which is Sunday and the Sun is Leos ruling planet.

Virgo season starts tomorrow and this is what you need to know.

Virgo is a dual sign, the M and the fish at the tail. To me, it means Mother (the M) and child(the fish). Virgo represents facts and order. The Sun is how you see yourself. Most of the things I mention below are going to be your own doing.

If this does not resonate with you its okay, this is a general interpretation which has not taken into consideration every single persons birth chart. But these are the themes you are bound to meet.

I will expound more on my Patreon, join to support me. Thank you in advance.

The first house is the house of first impressions. Virgo in the first house means you come off as very orderly and well put together. The Sun transiting Virgo first house means people may see you as the person with facts and very organized during Virgo season(when the sun is in Virgo). The sun will be highlighting you in peoples eyes. You may feel like everyone has got their eyes on you, they probably do because you are acting jittery. If you make a mistake, everyone will know(or in your head you will convince yourself that everyone knows). If you do something good even if you are unaware of it, it wont go unnoticed. You may feel heavily scrutinized by the public or be in a place where everyone is checking your work ethic. Peoples expectations of you may feel like your hand is in fire but you can't remove it.

The second house is the house of your money and survival needs. The sun transiting Virgo in the second house may mean if you are not organized then all your sources of income or survival will be burnt and you will have nothing left. Always save up and in different accounts! I bet people who had this transit before the pandemic began found themselves spending a lot of money or losing money. They may have also had a boost but failed to save so when the pandemic was made official in the news, they were struggling!

The third house is the house of communication. The Sun transiting third house Virgo means your communication may be taken the wrong way. Virgo is ruled by Mercury, Mercury rules communication and is in this house. Virgo as mentioned is a dual sign! What you intend to say may not be received but instead the opposite will. Be very very clear in communication, do not use ambiguity and do not leave room for guesswork! We are in a very digital age! If you are not clear with your communication get what will happen to you online? Your image will be tarnished, burned!

The fourth house is the house of roots, it also represents home. Everyone has their own definition of home. Sun transiting Virgo in the fourth house means you need to be careful making a home purchase if you have this transit as you may get scammed! You may also fail to follow all the procedures for the purchase. You may still buy the home but fail to notice certain things and now your dream of owning a beautiful home is burned! You may also burn very important bridges or have important bridges burnt that are related to your roots due to the discovery of certain factual information. This house is ruled by Cancer(a water sign), so you better check the drainage and water supply in the area you want to purchase a house/home in. Also find out the rains in the area because they might just sweep your house away. You may want to avoid having a house in a valley or near a water body.

The fifth house is the house of romance, love affairs, fertility and self expression. The Sun transiting Virgo in the fifth house means that you may find yourself nitpicking on matters related to this house. You may be doing everything robotically or 'scientifically'. You may act like you have OCD when it comes to dealing with the matters of this house. Rest, don't be so calculative.

The sixth house is the house of health, fitness and organization(order). This is Virgos house. The Sun transiting a Virgo sixth house means that your schedules will be on fire. You may put too much on your plate or insist that you must change your whole life in this month because you want to become a better you. You want to rush the process. So you enroll yourself into gym, you create a packed daily schedule that you force yourself to follow from morning till bed time, you change your diet or suddenly change your routines. Burnout will catch up with you and you may end up spiraling backward. Unless you have an intercepted house, Virgo sixth house means you have a Libra seventh house. If we look at it the Sun transit way, you won't be able to regain balance. You may start overcompensating. However, you probably have another planet in your seventh house which may be beneficial to you. Take things one step at a time.

The seventh house is the house of Relationships and contracts. All types of relationships and not just romantic. The Sun transiting a Virgo 7th house means you need to be very careful of the contracts you sign and relationships you get into because they have the potential to burn you or you them. Use facts and not assumptions or first impressions that look good. First impressions of the matters in this house may be very attractive like gold they end up blinding you.

The eighth house is the house of merging. Anything that is joint is here. Joint is also shared. So whatever you have joint ownership, CUSTODY or partnership of is under highlight over here. The Sun transiting Virgo eighth house may mean: Please keep your legal documents very safe away from fire and water! If you have any critical information as a softcopy, back it up and back it up and back it up more! Keep records!!!!! These records will save you when you are about to be drowned(the 8th house is a water house) in boiling(Sun) water! Triple check your documents, do not let just anyone see them because you never know who wants to get you. The most innocent of souls could be the one to get you! Like your child may accidentally spoil your computer/phone/USB stick/external storage. Be careful around water. Keep your hardcopy documents in waterproof packaging.

The ninth house is the house of travel, higher learning, ethics, and critical/fast thinking. The sun transit ninth house Virgo means you need to have the right documents on matters related to this house. If you have many or any assignments to submit at school, do them very well. No plagiarism at all, this assignments can either break or make your life during this transit. Double check your travel documents especially your covid tests and certificates. Ensure you have carried them when travelling. If you are applying to schools(University mostly), please please check the percentage of OPEN SOURCES THE SCHOOL OFFERS otherwise when doing your thesis you will have a very very difficult time. If possible, visit the school environment and see if it is worth it, some school environments are tough especially for students who will be looking for housing near school. Research on the countries you want to visit, please stop going to countries where minorities are suffering because of tourists due to increase spread of the virus and pollution. Be kind. Find out if your ethics are really ethical, you may be very oppressive with your ethics.

The tenth house also called Medium Coeli(MC) or Midheaven, is the house of career, long term goals, structure, experts and father. The Sun transiting Virgo tenth house means someone may be excited to become a dad. Someone might be looking into paternity because they either feel skeptical that the child they are raising is not theirs or their father is not their biological dad as they have been made to believe. I like saying that the tenth house is what they mean by 'things that have been put together in heaven, no man can put asunder', so do not force things or interfere with things in this house. Just do your part and leave the rest otherwise you will be wasting your time and energy. During this transit you may feel like everything is falling into place but you may need to think twice. Virgo is facts and order, do you really have the facts or you think you do and you are just going with it? You may be thinking that things are meant to be, everything may be looking real good right now or real harsh right now when they aren't. Go back to the drawing board and check that your facts are not twisted.

The eleventh house is the house of groups, friends, humanitarianism, technology and the future. The Sun transiting Virgo eleventh house may mean your social circles and activities need vetting. Do you really know these people or do you think you know them? For some, you may not even need to do the evaluation because things will happen in your life that shows you who these people really are. You will need to be very specific about any pieces of technology you buy during this transit, research on it. Then go to reputational shops to buy and not just anywhere that claims to sell. CHECK AND KEEP THE WARANTY. Scan and print receipts because they fade, scan and print the warranty too. Keep soft copies of the warranty and receipts. Take a video of you unboxing the technology so you can catch any damages on camera and return it with proof that it was not your mishandling(this is if the business delivered it to you otherwise they can say you damaged it while transporting it). Check that your anti virus(not those free ones, they are fake. Buy a legit anti virus) is up to date and you do not have any security threats. If you love yourself, please stop clicking ads, stop allowing people to plug anything into your PC, TURN OFF BLUETOOTH DISCOVERABILITY, stop using public WIFI and please close all tabs and running apps when on zoom (or any other such platform)because when you share screen you may not know that your information is out for everyone to see-some of which may be very sensitive-. How humanitarian are you? And do you do things humanitarian in a human way or analytical way just because its what needs/has to be done? You may need to significantly drop the statistics and analytical things when dealing with people face to face. What is your plan for the future? Revisit it and make the necessary changes. If you have none, start writing down one.

The twelfth house is the house of endings, spirituality, dreams and the subconscious. The Sun transit Virgo twelfth house may mean that you need to have detailed end of life plans, pay for them now or start saving up for them now. It doesn't matter if you are just 18, start. What do you need to let go of? Your sick relative who is willing to go but waiting for you to let go of them? A friendship? A job? A house? Unhealthy eating habits? Unhealthy coping mechanisms? Several things you are hoarding? Write down things that need letting go of then start letting go of them bit by bit this month. Have you been doing things subconsciously? Start recording them, you may need to see something. Like a pattern which may be as a result of trauma or your instincts getting stronger or something else. You may need to stop looking at spirituality like a science experiment. You may not find the facts you are looking for but it does not mean people who are spiritual are lost. You may however, find that some things just do not make sense because they conflict each other. Someone may be starting to learn something spiritual. Your dreams, write the down even if they do not make sense.

These are the messages I am able to channel, I have been writing for over an hour. It is 20.22(which is cumulative numerology 6 and Virgo is the 6th Zodiac sign) EAT right now. I have written this through two Horas! I hope this helped.

[thessaliah]

Reading this lostbelt, from Pepe's viewpoint and issues, and how he described the Crypters. It makes me uncomfortable that FGO is trying to validate privilege and trying to cast the victims of the privileged ones (PHH) as "bad" because they tell them to go fuck themselves and flipped the roles. Or are "good" because accept being destroyed (fucking erased) to validate the "better" (privileged) history. It felt like that from the beginning but Pepe's thoughts nailed this sickening feeling.

I was going to do my character meme answers, but so much THIS. I don't think Nasu thought over this pretty well (or he doesn't care because status quo-sticker), or he took so long his work isn't going to age well in the current context people are more aware than ever about this "competition" between humanity which is absolutely abhorrent and unjust. Even when presenting a side as "hopeless" for their growth, that sounds like you're making excuses to trample it for your benefit, like a typical privileged person would ignore those who rot on the sidewalk.

This is the funny thing. The entire situation as you point is like some of those pariahs said no more and decided to take over with the corpses of their oppressors. Panhistory to validate themselves created the Prunning Phenomena and can't take heat from the consequences of their very system generated? The rich side of this is that all those billions who disappeared actually to validate their existence in the first place set this system that originally walked on the corpses of many untold erased timelines. Because resources were limited (sounds familiar?) only a scant number of timelines could be kept. And this very cruel system was wished unconsciously by humanity itself. Nasu even compared what Humanity is doing to itself to what Goetia did in his booklet of Lostroom as if to frame what is the cause. Crypters, Lostbelts, the "God"? Thematically, they are victims and pariahs who got left behind. They aren't the "aggressors" that shot first. There’s a reason why the theme is revenge and payback of those who were down and stood again. Nasu’s not talking about Panhistory or Novum Chaldea.

Of course, is perfectly good and dandy to have Novum Chaldea look for the survival of them and their Panhistory, but it's not sitting well with me to take them as heroes at all, unlike Part 1. In part 1, the enemy had a problem with suffering, but the suffering caused by death and terminus, which was more a natural consequence of being human that could be delayed but is something nobody denies exists and must be accepted. It was a palatable approach of a Solomon who experienced a mortal life and the system Solomon left behind which took an exclusive "god" viewpoint unable to sympathize until he tasted mortality.

Part 2 meanwhile the core of the problem is that injustice and gap between loser and winners, and it seems to push for us to accept it can't be helped, humans are like this when is a dangerous complacent "Let the better ones eat you, pariah" sour aftertaste. It's also very dangerous because while there's no "pruning phenomena" in real life, there is across history the whole silencing the loser and oppressed by the winners, trying to wipe them out for their own glory and benefit. There's no point to wish fight fact or reform. Novum Chaldea being a passive tool to defend the way Panhistory has conducted itself with rare exceptional "no this waifu/this loli/cute animal" moments don't cut it for me to see them as good. It makes me feel dirty. They never made an effort to do anything but react too unless a said article to protect is at stake. It's increasingly hard to associate or sympathize with them over someone like Kirschtaria Wodime, whatever you think of his plan, he is the only one who made an effort to try to change the odds while embracing hope humanity inherent goodness will carry them out for a better future, better order, better results. While Chaldea's weak arguments against him could be summed up in Holmes' cynical view of how humanity won't change and will always be like that and suffer (which is again a reminder of "don't try to do anything, go with the flow" to suppress revolution and reformers). The arguments were so feeble that the one that stopped him isn't Chaldea, but Beryl's betrayal.

I understand fully the extraordinary context and circumstances of what happened, and what was lost, but those people who disappeared, they also wove a system that did the same to others. It's just an unfortunate plot to me. Nobody denies Kirschtaria was willing to accept the loss of Panhistory (even though if he could, he would have saved those people too) out his inability to save them with his limits, but N. Chaldea is perfectly willing to accept the loss of other lives too (although they also feel bad), are they less worthy? And while Kirschtaria’s passively accepted the loss of Panhistory (because none of the Crypters directly had to do with its blanching), Chaldea is actively now doing the Pruning System work in pulling the plug on others. Not just the Lostbelts but to restore Panhistory is accepting the way it works and how many it destroys. Instead of taking a bet to try something new, in the long run, maybe create something better. Both sides demand terrible sacrifices, but only one is coming with a solution to try and fix what is broken. The other side is just putting a band-aid and pretend is fine.  I don't know if Nasu is going to end it in a satisfying way. Because he's not one to overhaul this system and he maintained since FSN: "the seat of happiness are limited" as if was a natural and desirable message.  

On the other hand, he did say that Kirschtaria's ideals are the most perfect even among "all legends of TM" and that his goal was objectively beneficial for humanity. Even one of the game options lets Guda comment that his idea is desirable, but... (doesn't want to forsake Panhistory... although Panhistory ironically has no problem to destroy and wreck other timelines to keep their flawed Consensus -> what isn't discussed, huh).

I think Nasu wanted to make this about survival instead of good vs evil, which was fine up until Kirschtaria came up with an idea of revision/reform the Human Order instead of proposing something based on survival of a lifestyle because he wanted to minimise the suffering. Which Chaldea poorly answered. At heart, by trying to smooth over humanity’s need to compete with each other by closing the gaps of how they started (and even them), wouldn’t that also affect the Pruning system which is based on this fierce competition of what is the best/ideal timeline consensus? Yes, of course, because that system reflects the present humanity mindset of competition to “survive” and divide themselves in winners and losers. In the long run, IMO, that would have been modified too. Kirschtaria doesn’t directly reference to it, but vaguely alludes to an answer humanity failed to reach which is linked to a lot of what’s happening too, including the “God.” Because Chaldea only had arguments for survival (to the point this is acknowledged by Kirschtaria’s description of what is defeat/victory for Chaldea and for Kirschtaria. To Chaldea, Kirschtaria says that their victory is survival, and to be defeated is to die; while Wodime’s defeat is that the Beast manifested and he couldn’t finish his plan). And business continues, as usual, I guess. It leaves a bitter taste when your supposed POV has no agency or drive to make any difference. It is frustrating! 

I know I was harsh with this, and I also appreciate how Guda and Mash still try to help the people who they see in danger in front of them, but is frustrating because at the same time they are doing things to make themselves feel better knowing they are here to wipe them out. Like, you know, giving a starving orphan a candy to make then happy and go behind their back and pull out the resources of the orphanage they’re in to let them starve to use that money to buy yourself food, something like that. Even if you know they really need that money to not starve themselves for the possibility they can rebuild different orphanages, would you still consider characters who do that the same heroes as part 1? Hard to say, right? 

“Far side is darker than Near side”, yes, but I think Nasu went a little too far. Because even if HF was dark, for example, I completely empathised with the difficult choices, while it’s harder now.

[rootandrock]

So, at the nexus of "Bad feeling make body go weird" and "Your haunted house is full of mycotoxins" lemme short-blog you about the time I was almost driven insane by a PC fan.

I'd start my work day feeling just fine. Wonderful, in fact. And about two hours into my work day I'd start to feel strange.

Tense, paranoid, headachey but not actually headachey, on the verge of panic for no reason. Like my brain was attempting to tear itself loose and inchworm away to safety. This, in concert with my increasingly hostile work environment, resulted in actual panic attacks, total meltdowns, etc.

Because of my "the way to solve negative feelings is to avoid what causes them, DUH!!!" wiring I began to dread and postpone beginning my work day. Performance suffered, creativity suffered, I suffered. I had some kind of actual like nervous breakdown (not the last, sadly).

At some points I suspected Malefica, or Oppression, but... there was never any "oomph" to it. No curse, only cursed. And the only reason I knew that was because, well... I'm an occultist. My mind was tearing itself apart. There was sometimes even a feeling of being watched, or more accurately "glared at and judged wanting".

Eventually, one fine day, it was cool, and quiet. The feeling was so crippling I was just sitting at my desk crying, but then I heard a sound. A high, tinny, "weeeeeiiiiiiiieeeeiiiiiieeeeeiiiiiieeee" coming from... somewhere.

I eventually tracked it down to my PC. I turned it off, worried that something might've gone wrong. And the relief was immediate and palpable. Like exiting a loud building into a quiet night. Huh...?

You see, the woefully underpowered desktop I had at the time (some off the shelf HP nonsense), had a heatsink for the CPU, and rather than have any sort of reasonable mounting system... the screws for the fan wedged into the fins of the heatsink. So when the computer got Real Warm the heat sink would expand, and just ever so slightly upset the tension of the screws.

And then the humming would begin. The screws would rattle against the fins, the fan itself would wiggle and whine. I may or may not have ripped the fan out and beaten it to bits on the front walk, and gotten a new fan. That fan had the good grace not to "weeeiiiieee"

And it was only because of THAT incident that later on when I had a series of similar sensations I could say "You know I bet there's a weird sound upsetting me" instead of spending months contemplating peeling my skin off and throwing it against a wall like an over-starched shirt.

[searchingforproofsthatimwrong]

THE JAMMIEDODGER VIDEO ABOUT JK ROWLING (as recommended by a very polite anon)

so I go point by point after the cut but in short: they should read more feminist theory, they are lying, they are not as coherent as they think they are but they make some points, notably about the rapid onset gender disphoria that’ll need to check in more depth later on.Most of their sources were unfortunatly either on points I already knew or already agreed with.  Also that woman ( the “cis” one not Jammy), should really stop thinking being born a woman is somehow a privilege.

So the video starts by saying three things I agree with :

1)      Biological sex is definitely real

2)      Women’s right and girls’ right need to be protected

3)      JK Rowling is entitled to like support and write whatever she wants

 So far so good. Except it then goes on to say that TRA agree with that. Now maybe most do but at least some don’t. Don’t lie to me, Jammie Dodger.  

They then go on to misrepresent what our problem with “cis” is. Are they going to spend that entire video about trans people at destination of the non educated on that subject without ONCE defining what a trans person is? They are aren’t they ?

“TRANSPEOPLE AGREE THAT BIOLOGICAL SEX EXISTS!!” 

see earlier but given the number of people who are saying “sex is a social construct” and “sex is a spectrum” and “a neovagina is just like a vagina”, you may at least put a “most” in your statement here. Anyway this is not the problem we have, we wouldn’t even discuss this if it weren’t for the brain dead morons who argue with us about it.

“my biological sex -the one I was assigned at birth- was female” 

is Jammie here telling me he knows biology exists but his sex WAS female ? It still IS female. You’re a female. Moreover you cannot say I know biology exists and I was assigned a sex. The entire “assigned sex” is a refutal of biology by implying doctors choose a sex for you. This is stupid.

Strawman. They are saying radfems have no argument against “gender identity is a real thing”. The lies. Gender identity is not a real thing it’s just gender stereotypes and gender is a tool of oppression for women, it’s sexist garbage. I also notice they don’t define gender identity, this is starting to be a pattern, this video is aimed to normies but the only thing they defined so far is terf.

They did 5 fucking minutes on “transpeople know that biological sex exists” I am already exhausted.

Oh my bad they defined “gender identity” as “the gender you know you are”. THANKS A BUNCH THIS IS SO HELPFUL . Define gender please I beg of you.  

“They know they are a man but their bodies don’t match” 

okay so you agree that man and woman are words that depends on your body right? Since it can “match”, they are not gender then ? Nevermind he then says that man is their gender identity. This is not making sense.

Ooooooh the floating head analogy never heard that one before, this is a stupid one because gendies also argue that their gender is innate (unless Jammie here specifically says he doesn’t think that I’ll act as if he agrees with that statement) so the good question would be if you were born as a floating head and never even had a body would you still be a woman? And my answer here as well as plenty of people I suspect is “men and women don’t make sense if we’re born as floating heads what are you on about?”

“transwomen needs women’s right too” 

I know you think that is self evident but I’ll ask what exactly are the women’s right transwomen need. Abortion? Affordable periods product ? The right to have places free of male? oh wait. They are male so they can never have that can they ?

“so feminism also needs to believe in gender identity”

 because if we don’t our feminism is only for females and we exclude males. Notice how they didn’t continue their logic by saying how THIS feminism excludes transmen and nonbinary? Because it does, but guess who actually need the women’s right of abortion for exemple?

“transmen don’t need women’s rights” 

I FUCKING CANNOT YOU STILL NEED IT WTF ARE YOU ON ABOUT. OK I need them to define women’s right asap

“well JK Rowling said she supports trans rights”

 funny how you can understand how those words are not a proof that she in fact does but you still started your video by “we support women’s rights !!!”

“adding [to Harry Potter] content that was LGBT+ friendly” 

she added things that were gay friendly. I don’t remember her adding trans characters.

“transphobic” = saying men can’t become women. Whoah. The hatred.

“the lack of belief [in gender identity] is what she wants protected”

 yes and ? Atheism, the lack of belief in a god, is protected. Gender identity existence only proof is some people saying it does exists, it is not a scientific reality in any way shape or form.

“His biological sex was previously female” 

BUT WE KNOW WHAT BIOLOGICAL SEX IS WE SWEAR; Damn they spend 7 minutes on “transpeople know biological sex exists” and then keep acting like they fucking don’t.

After that they point blank say that gender identity is more important than sex, having someone who passes as an exemple. What about transpeople who don’t pass? How much you bet this will never be discussed in this video.

Anyway they follow that with that : 

Which is true but defining what a woman is does affect women actually (I know weird right)  so it’s completely irrelevant to the discussion here.

“When a large group of transpeople are telling you something is wrong please listen to them”

 please afford women the same courtesy. We are a large group of women saying males are not the fucking authority on what womanhood is but we are told to shut up. Listen.

“we cannot take the behavior of the minority [online abuse] and group it onto the majority” 

I agree with that statement but the majority still didn’t condemn the abuse. Honestly the people in this video did -just before saying HOWEVER but hey – but it is pretty rare to see TRA actually confronting the people who abused JK Rowling online, they cheered them on more than anything.

It is very telling how they spend more time in this video saying people collecting screenshots of the abuse JK Rowling suffered were “not cool” than the TRA giving them a bad name by actually abusing JK Rowling. They even say Jammy was also insulted online so TERF and TRA are as bad as each other right ?? Being called delusional or idiot is not the same as death threats sorry Jammy. (I doubt the “freak” one was from a terf tbh but even then, this is not even comparable) I mean didn’t you get at least one person saying they were going to kill you ? Because I did, and I have ,like, 200 followers. I find very weird that the woman here said “I received sexual assaults threats and this is as a cis woman!” as if women weren’t the primary target of sexual assaults threats. Yeah it’s the misogyny. What’s new.  You really should stop thinking you are somehow priviledged even when you are being sexually threatened ffs. What gender ideology does to a mf.

 “neither of these sides are innocent” 

oh come on, you cannot possibly means that the men who gave you sexual threats were terfs, this is ridiculous, you are just trying to excuse and diminish what people did to JK as per fucking usual.

 “persistent low level harassment” 

it hasn’t stayed low level tho. Stop trying to say you and JK are receiving the same abuse it’s embarrassing.

JK Rowling’s essay having real life effects on policies for exemple has an element of thruth ,even tho we disagree on wether or not this can be a good thing but your are deluding yourself if you think people assaulting transpeople are the sort of people whose views are in any way influenced by feminists. This is laughable. Also please stop with the guilt tripping, we are not responsible of the mental health of transpeople, we are not their therapists, sorry.

I love how they implied that the guy who forced GNC kids to behave as their assigned gender would somehow give a letter of thanks to a feminist. This is implying “terfs” want the same things as this maniac which is just a straight up lie, terfs absolutely adore GNC people and are mostly GNC themselves.

“What rights of women are actually being eroded by the inclusion of transwomen ?” I am glad you asked !! Well apart from the freedom of speech since “terfs” are losing their jobs and being deplatformed because of this, we have the inherent dangers of replacing sex by gender in what the law protects : https://www.aclu.org/blog/speakeasy/firing-mom-because-shes-breastfeeding-sex-discrimination this is a link to a story about a woman who was said being fired for breastfeeding was not sex discrimination because men can lactate. Do you see the problem ? Moreover there is quotas for women in politics etc….Women fought for their quotas and now males can have them, who do you think an employer would prefer someone who probably will be pregnant at one point or someone who never will ? and let’s not forget the right for women to have women only places :Women in prison are raped by the trans identified males in it .

“I cannot think of a single right that is removed from me”

 good for you maybe you should have actually researched radfems talking point before doing this video ? Your ignorance is not a good argument.  

“transwomen can use the women changing room because they are women” 

you keep saying that but apart from “they feel like women” you didn’t explain how they are women. This is the basis of this entire video and you never explained.  Also allowing any person who say they are women into the women’s changing room does not only allow transwomen does it ? It also allows lying freaks.

“You can protect cis women’s rights and transrights simulteanously” HOWWWWWWWWWWW, please tell me how to keep female only spaces (women’s right) while saying TWAW (transrights apparently according to them).

“transwomen can be the victims and cis women can do the voyeurism” 

true but did you forget we actually live in the real world and in that one males are much more likely to be sexually harassing people than women ? It is a brazen form of lying to tell women that since theoretically other women can also be creeps they don’t have to worry about males. Get a grip. Live in the real world for a change.

“It doesn’t reference transwomen but men pretending to be women” 

apart from “they feel it” you still haven’t told us what the difference is. You are aware nothing from an outside perspective distinguishes the two right ??

“there is no evidence of men pretending to be trans to enter female only spaces” and how would you know they are pretending ? This is the same problem again and again, if you define transwomen as men who feel like women then there is absolutely no way of verifying someone really is trans. And that’s a lie anyway since we do actually have proof of that happening?? There was that video making the room on radblr a while ago of a clear male pissing in the women’s bathroom saying (lying) that he was trans.

Yeah actually radical feminists would accept transmen in their bathrooms, but it’s not an easy question with an easy answer to know how to check they really are transmen. Although notice how they are again only talking about transpeople that passes ? I would feel safer with Jammy in my toilets than Hannah Mouncey for exemple :

  That is so obvioulsy a man in a dress.

“ If a transman with a beard and penis and balls can go into a women’s toilet and that is deemed okay because of his biological sex what is to stop a cis man from doing the same”

 I am sorry but are you saying a transwoman cannot have a beard and penis and balls ?????????? This is incredibly transphobic of you, you said that gender identity Is just feeling like a gender, how exactly does that mean transwomen cannot have beard ? If you want to know, radfem are arguing for a third toilet for transpeople, that’s our solution. What is yours ?

 Ok the next part is racist I’ll skip that thanks

On accusation of TERFery intimidating people and organizations “we haven’t seen these” again, your ignorance is not an argument, I am posting these on Tumblr where cryptoterfs arer numerous. Why do you think that is ?

Are they seriously saying Nike and addidas “accepted” transpeople because they “realized it was the right thing to do” ?????? Those companies employs slaves IN WHAT WORLD DO YOU LIVE IN??

“trying to make transpeople look crazy” 

the clownfish things were said online by real transpeople. We don’t need to invent thing to make transpeople look crazy, if there is  large enough group some people belonging in that group will say stupid shit .

“We support these rights”

 when speaking about women victims of abuse. This is a lie, the Vancouver rape shelter relief is often targeted by transactivists, recently a gofundme for it was cancelled because of transactivists, they are quite litteraly stealing money from raped women. This is not a small, inconsequential part of transactivism. 

“The trans-inclusionist views expand the meaning of women to include transwomen”

 It doesn’t expend shit actually since it excludes transmen and non-binary. If anything it reduces it.

They go on to say that transwomen deserves protection as women because of their murder rate. It doesn’t explain how being seen as women will help them here and anyway it’s a bold lie considering their murder rate is actually quite low. They also fail to consider how depriving transmen and nonbinaries of those same women’s right might be a problem.

Again they make the distinction between transwomen and men pretending to be transwomen without a way to identify which is which. This is starting to get repetitive and tedious. The problem is not that all transwomen are predators is that there is no way to see a difference until the predators acts, until a woman gets hurt, so accepting transwomen is accepting predators and saying transwomen feelings are more important that the women being hurt because of this. I disagree. The tiny tiny percentage of transpeople doing bad things is actually the same percentage as men doing bad things. If your argument could be used to say women only spaces shouldn’t exist at all because not all men are dangerous maybe you should reconsider your argument because I will not reconsider women’s right to have female only spaces.

“If you push transwomen out of female only spaces you push transmen in”

 Yes. I don’t even see where the problem is here.  Now why don’t we analyse the fact that if you push transwomen into female only spaces you push transmen out of them ? I don’t think transmen belongs in men’s prisons, do you ?

“Transpeople don’t dispute biology and don’t impact how female only diseases are treated” 

eat shit. They do impact this, every woman trying to say “female biology” get shit thrown at her faster than you can blink, stop lying to me Jammy. Do you think I would get called a bleeder, a fetus carrier, a motherfucking birthing body if transactivism wasn’t trying to erase sex ? Don’t you think the sentence “men can have periods” is not eroding biology ? Fuck off

Back to JK, Jammy is saying her disabling comment on her blog was not conductive to a conversation, I have to salute the straight face he says it with because do you really think a nice educated conversation would have taken place on JK Rowling’s essay ? They flooded her children’s book tag with porn for fuck sake.

“Thre is no explosion in young women who wishes to transition” sources ? Because it does seem to be true :https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/jsm.12817

“the detransitionners rate is actually really low” hard to know but most people who transitioned did it not so long ago since transgender is a recent trend, we will have to wait and see to have a more robust number. But maybe they are right on that one, this is not going to be the one argument that changes my views unfortunately. 

“Does that mean we should stop people from getting plastic surgery then ?” 

lol you don’t know the radfem stance on plastic surgery do you ?

“There is more significant transphobia than homophobia” 

sources ? Because transition is used as converstion therapy in Iran so it is at least untrue in one country. 

“If transmen transition to escape womanhood why is there transwomen ?” 

You really didn’t research this did you ? the radfem answer is that transwomen are either gay men who have gender disphoria OR AGP (autogynephiles) read this if you want to learn more about it: https://grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/the-elephant-in-the-room

“why would people who have male privileges choose to give that up” 

you are assuming they lose their male privileges but I will need sources on that because most transwomen do not pass and are treated more as special men than as women.

“We have already shown you that transphobia is far more rife and damaging than homophobia” 

did I miss that part ? When ? You just said that ? Without backing it up ?

“anti trans narratives constantly contradict itself” 

No we do not, we are feminist so we OF COURSE we analyse men and women differently, this is an issue of gender which radical feminism posit as an hierarchy, trying to explain transwomen and transmen with the same arguments is doomed to fail because they were not equal in their relation to gender to begin with. Do you think black people trying to pass as white do it for the same reasons white people try to have more black features ? Of course not.

“What am I a lesbian or a homophobe ?”

 You are both, you are a lesbian in denial with a deep case of internalized misogyny and homophobia. You know yo can be both sexist and a woman right ? Well it’s the same here.

I heard “Simone de Beauvoir” and I knew they were going to be really fucking stupid with that “One is not born a woman but rather becomes a woman” quote and THERE IT IS! Please read the book. She is not saying male can become women if they try hard enough, she is saying basically the same thing JK Rowling’s quote said which is that “womanhood” as it is forced on women is alien and not natural and the point is that we should not accept it, it’s a feminist quote on femininity and I am so sick of men using it to say that they are women.

Transactivists acting as if sex recognition patterns don’t exists is exhausting so I won’t comment on “nobody checks if you have XX chromosomes before passing you over for a promotion” other than to say : passing over for promotions happens a lot when women are pregnant and after giving birth stop acting as if misogyny is unrelated to our reproduction capacities it is fucking insulting.

“transwomen will support [fights against tampon tax and FGM] too” 

FGM was a bad choice here considering transactivists tried to stop a bill against FGM .  I will need sources here actually since I never seen a transwoman fighting for women’s right in my life.

Ok I let a lot passes here because I’m tired but we are 48:40 in the video and fuck you “intersectional feminism” is not about males. It was for black women. It is not reductionist to say women are people with a vagina, this is just a definition, and one that applies to 50% of the population at that, there is litteraly no definition of woman that includes more people than that.

Imagine thinking “women are people with vagina” is reductionist but not calling women “vulva owners”. Please , I am begging for coherence.

“transwomen who experience greater abuse than cisgender women will ever experience” . 

This is revolting. I don’t have any other words. I am glad this is the end of the video because I would have stopped immediately if this was at the start. What abuse transwomen can experience than ciswomen cannot ? Because I would have thought forced pregnancy was horrific but maybe this doesn’t compare to being misgendered?

“most people are comfortable with transwomen going into women’s bathrooms” https://www.bsa.natcen.ac.uk/media/39147/bsa34_moral_issues_final.pdf

It says 13% of women are at least uncomfortable with sharing bathroom with transwomen, why are we ignoring their wishes? Because 0.1% of the population wants to ?  Whatever, the really interesting thing in this study is that for this question they defined “transwomen” as someone who has gone through all the steps to become a woman aka someone with surgery. I find extremely misleading that this is used for bathroom bills which defines transwomen as male identifying as women. Do you think the numbers would be the same if they specified the transwoman in question still has a penis ? Which is the case for most transwomen btw?

[ragingbookdragon]

Should Judgement Come To Pass

Asra x M!Apprentice

Word Count: 2.8K Warnings: Explicit Language

Author’s Note: My spin on Book 20: Judgment, 1. The Red Room. Enjoy! -Thorne

           It was the oppressive emotion that kept his throat tight, heart hammering in his chest as he gazed from his plate to the other members of the Devil’s dinner party. Even if he wasn’t under the compulsion like Asra and them, his movements made him feel like he was. Too focused on trying to fit in, to keep the secret of his freedom hidden, it was eating away at his usually reserved demeanor. His eyes shifted to Asra, just a second is all it took for the other to nod and he inhaled deeply, glancing towards the Devil, an inviting smile growing underneath his mask. And the Devil smiled back, but it was anything but friendly.

           “See, (Y/N). All of this isn’t so bad.” He raised the silver goblet in his hand, and (Y/N) took a moment to glance at his own wine, imagining one of those vampire eels swimming around in it.

           “There’s food and wine, all of your favorite people in the same place. What more could you even ask for?” (Y/N) knew he had to play this by ear, and his answers had to seem like the most selfish he could possess.

           “I’d like…power.” He allowed a mock look of greed to come across him, voice dark and lusting. “If this is how it’s going to be, I want power.” The Devil burst into a roaring laughter, Valdemar and the others following.

           “Power!” The Devil repeated with a low chuckle. “Perhaps you and I are not so different after all, (Y/N).” He gave him a knowing look. “I bet you want to return to the great monster hunter you were before, hmm?”

           (Y/N) took a moment to think it over. “I can’t deny it’s crossed my mind.” His eyes flitted to Nadia and he sent a silent plea that she would play along. “When I was as powerful as I was three years ago, I had princesses tripping over themselves to make me their consorts.”

           Nadia was one smart cookie because she scoffed and spat, “You are just the same as Lucio.”

           He winked and flashed a pearly grin. “I can’t deny that power has its benefits.”

           “All mortals want power, Nadia,” the Devil tutted before turning his attention back onto (Y/N). “You desire to crush your enemies and to befuddle your betters…” his eyes darted to Asra. “To protect the ones you love dearly.”

           A bolt of white-hot anger thundered in (Y/N)’s chest, but he merely smiled through his clenched teeth. “What can I say? I’m a greedy bastard.”

           Some of the attendents laughed, and that was when (Y/N) felt the cool whisper of Asra’s magic was over him and Faust. Averting his gaze, he absentmindedly ran his pointer around the rim of his wine glass.

           “So, Devil?”

           The dark, maroon eye fell on him. “Yes, (Y/N)?”

           “Can I ask you something before the world is shot to hell?”

           The Devil snorted. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. The world isn’t going to end, it’s just going to be…altered.”

           (Y/N) met his stare head on. “Why go through all this trouble? You’re an Arcana. You have control of an entire realm, and anybody stupi—understanding enough of magic to deal with?”

           Tutting once more, the Devil sighed. “(Y/N), (Y/N), (Y/N). Do you have any idea what any of what you just said means?” He scoffed. “Of course you don’t, do you? You’ve never even stopped to consider it. We Arcana are masters of our own realms, but in the rest of existence, we are confined. Restricted to our unchanging roles.” The Devil offered a sympathetic look. “Surely someone as talented and smart as you can see how awfully tiresome it would become to stay unchanging all the time?”

           (Y/N) opened his mouth to respond when he heard a voice that sent his heart pounding against his chest.

           Help!

           Before he could even do a thing, Asra jolted in his seat, knee banging the underside of the table, fork clattering against the porcelain dish. The Devil was silent, but (Y/N) could tell that in the way his crimson eyes focused on Asra that he was suspicious.

           (Y/N) sucked in a breath, eyes darting wildly around to find some form of distraction, all the while Asra and Faust were conversing. It was too confusing, trying to focus on them while trying to distract the Devil. If he didn’t find something to say, something to do, they were doomed. They were—

           “…no one wants you here, Devil.”

           The voice was quiet but firm, and (Y/N) turned his attention to Muriel who gave him a small nod. It was just the distraction enough because the Devil turned on Muriel, but he met the glare with defiant green eyes.

           Across the table, Julian cleared is throat too, voice carrying over the table. “He’s right you know. I can party with just about anyone, even Lucio, but you have to be the exception.”

           Soon, everyone was following along, and Nadia was the next to get her shot in. “And I do not recall inviting you to my Masquerade. You have been such an ungracious guest.” (Y/N) fought viciously to keep the smile hidden as he looked over his frien—no, his best friends.

           The Devil paused a moment to regard them all, as if he genuinely cared what they were saying to him, though the way his clawed hands started clenching and unclenching told him otherwise.

           “Courage in the face of inevitable fate.” His voice turned downright mocking. “How…admirable.” Smiling, he added, “I hope something of you remains when the new world dawns. Perhaps I’ll have new toys to play with.”

           A flickering next to (Y/N)’s silver chalice caught his eye, something that could’ve been a trick of the light, but he knew what it really was. The red wine rippled, then stilled, and next to him, Asra slumped back in his seat, exhaustion seeping down his body. (Y/N) inconspicuously lowered his hand to Asra’s thigh, trying to pour magic into his lover. Whether it worked or not, he didn’t know, but the way Asra sighed in slight relief made his heart calm. Cool snakeskin ran behind his ankle as Faust wound her way up.

           Done…

           Even she sounded exhausted. His heart picked up again, but he was too afraid to even look in Asra’s direction for fear that a single glance would give them both away.

           The Devil raised his chalice and smiled. “To all of you. Thank you so much for playing the wonderful parts you’ve been given.”

He passed the chalice to Julian, and try as he did to resist, the compulsion was too strong, and he took the goblet. His normally pale complexion seemed to whiten even further after he swallowed the wine. The chalice made its way around the table, and one by one the dinner guests drank from it before it finally reached Asra and (Y/N).

           Raising it, Asra said, “To you, (Y/N).” he took a long sip before passing it over into (Y/N) hands.

           He took a long look at it, the dark crimson stains across the sides of the polished silver made his stomach curl. Before he lost his nerve, he grunted and knocked the remaining wine back, forcing himself to keep the sickly saccharine liquid down.

           Asra’s hand fell to his, worry in his voice. “Are you alright, my love?”

           He didn’t have a chance to respond as the Devil chuckled and shook his head, eyes falling on the two of them. “Love. Tell me Asra, what do you think your love managed to accomplish?” With a clawed hand, he vaguely gestured to the rest of the guests at the table. “Everyone is here. Everyone drank the wine. Even your darling (Y/N).”

           Grinning evilly, he finished with, “All your efforts were for naught. You and your love achieved nothing.”

           And that was the bridge too far. (Y/N) could take the Devil mocking his failures, but not those of Asra’s. His lover had worked for too long, worked far too hard, and suffered enough to be subjected to such abuse.

           The screeching of his chair sounded through the room as he stood to his feet and to his full height, ripping the mask off his face so the Devil could look his straight in the eyes.

           “You’re wrong,” (Y/N) condemned with the most withering glower he could muster.

           “Oh?” the Devil merely looked amused as he steepled his fingers. “Indulge me then, (Y/N). Tell me how wrong I am about this mortal delusion you call love.”

           Everyone fell silent, and with the weight of their gazes on him, (Y/N) inhaled and exhaled before he picked up the empty goblet and turned to Asra.

           “Asra, the first thing I remember in this new existence is the feeling of your arms wrapped protectively around me, the relieved and joyous tears seeping into my shirt.” He reached out, taking his lover’s hand. “You have always and will always be the greatest part of me, the truest friend and partner. The man I love the most.”

           (Y/N) raised the chalice to Julian. “We discovered the truth and redeemed an innocent man…not that he made it easy on us.” Julian’s face flushed a light pink as he laughed and gave a dramatic bow.

           “We have traveled across the realms of magic with nothing but our wits and ability to save us. We saved your parents and unraveled numerous mysteries great and small.” Asra’s eyes shone with crystal clear tears and he squeezed (Y/N)’s hand with all he could.

           “I couldn’t’ve done this, any of this, had you not been by my side the entire time.” Flashing him a smile, “Well, I probably could’ve, but not as stylishly of course.” Asra merely giggled and nodded.

           Sighing indulgently, the Devil glanced at them. “Yes, yes, this all so very touching. Dare I ask what even your point to all this is, (Y/N)?”

           (Y/N) tossed the goblet away, not caring that it bounced along the marble floor with a clang. The Devil’s eyes briefly darted to it, then back to him, an anger drawing into them.

           “Love’s the one thing you don’t understand Devil. It will always matter, even if you can’t comprehend it.” He tugged Asra to his feet and turned his attention to the beautiful mauve eyes he as well as his own. “It’s important to me. Important to us. And that’s all I need to be happy.”

           Raising his free hand, he caressed Asra’s cheek. “I don’t need anything else as long as you’re by my side, beloved.”

           “Is that so? Love has driven many passionate mortals, the same as you, into my open and waiting arms.” He grinned deviously. “Always craving more pleasure, more novelty, more control. Your kind are never sated. You’re greedy—like me.”

           (Y/N) shook his head, but never took his eyes off Asra’s. “The feelings you’re describing aren’t love. That’s pride and arrogance. Greed and loathing.”

           Finally, he looked over at the Devil. “However, I’m not surprised that the likes of you can’t tell the difference. It’s almost pitiful. But it makes me see just how delusional you’ve become in this whirlwind of a masterplan.” Expecting a barb back at him, (Y/N) was unnerved to see how conspicuously silent the Devil became.

           Asra looked as though he was seeing the sunrise for the first time after a life in the darkness as he confessed, “(Y/N), you didn’t have to say all the on my behalf.”

           He grinned at his lover. “Probably not…but it made me feel all manly to defend your honor.” Pressing a quick kiss to his cheekbone, he murmured, “Like a knight in shining armor defending his damsel in distress.” Asra snorted, pressing his face into (Y/N)’s shoulder to muffle his laughter, and it made his heart feel bubbly and light despite the gloom and darkness around them.

           “Well, I do feel safe and defended, so thank you, (Y/N).” Peeking his head up, he gazed into (Y/N)’s eyes. “And remember, whatever comes next and becomes of us, I love you too.”

           His heart swelled in his chest and it was only then that (Y/N) realized that everyone was watching them with grand smiles on their faces. It was enough to stun him and Asra, mainly because they’d forgotten they weren’t alone—Asra more so.

The Devil on the other hand was barely containing his annoyance. “Are you quite finished filibustering, (Y/N)? I’ve an agenda to keep up with.”

           (Y/N) shrugged and deadpanned, “Technically you asked me, asshole.”

           Ignoring the insult, the Devil huffed, “A moment of idle curiosity, nothing more than so.” Not wanting to push the envelope farther, (Y/N) fell silent and let the conversation stand. “Nevertheless, now that your sickenin—heartwarming display is over…”

           With an earsplitting ring, the Devil’s hands clapped together. (Y/N)’s teeth rattled, ears ringing as every nerve ending was set aflame. By the shock on Asra and the other’s faces, they felt it too. As quick as it came over, it was gone, and Julian was the first to break the silence.

           “Uh…was something supposed to happen? Because I don’t think it’s happening.”

           “Patience,” the Devil commanded. “One can’t rush these things.” Clapping his hands again, the same outcome applied. “What…is this? It should work.”

           (Y/N) sighed wistfully, and with humor. “Ah well, performance issues are not uncommon.” Asra choked on his spit as he tried not to laugh. “Running an apothecary, I’ve seen it’s about one out of five. I could recommend—” A deafening screech echoed through the room and they all spun to see Volta screaming at the top of her lungs.

           “Oh! Oh, what is happening to Volta? Volta feels…light? Volta feels so strange!”

           They stared in shock as the other courtiers started squirming uncontrollably in their seats, even Valdemar who was the strongest of them appeared particularly rattled. Something didn’t seem right with them to (Y/N) and before he could speak his concern to Asra, his vision fell into a hazy red, nausea threatening to turn his stomach inside out. What reeled him more was the true visage of the courtiers—constructed shells, thin as frost, and barely containing their real, nightmarish forms. He drew his eyes away only to catch sight of the ghostly chains binding everyone to their chairs. The vision began to fade, and the chains started unraveling, link by link by link.

           When it all cleared, the first thing (Y/N) saw was Asra’s face. “Come on, (Y/N). Deep breaths. You’re here. You’re with me.”

           He breathed a sigh of relief. “Asra, we did it. The plan worked.”

           “What? How do you know? What did you see?” Asra’s questions were rapid-fire.

           Nadia cut off any response, rising from her seat gloriously like a phoenix from the ashes. “Whatever you hoped to accomplish has failed, Devil.” Her voice held a barely contained, seething rage. “If you are quite done with this perverse little charade, get the hell out of my Palace.”

           Everyone began to rise as though they were awakening from a long, hellish dream, standing as they were no longer bound by the ritual. Asra and (Y/N)’s smiles grew by the moment.

           Asra looped his arms around (Y/N)’s waist, hugging him tightly. “We did it! It worked!”

           (Y/N) yanked off his mask and took hold of Asra’s chin, sealing their lips in a searing kiss. As they pulled away, Aisha and Salim leapt from the chair and ran over to hug them.

           “Oh, thank the Gods you’re both alright!” Aisha exclaimed, pressing kisses to both their cheeks.

           “What of you two? Are you hurt?” Asra’s hurt was palpable. “I’m so sorry we didn’t come sooner. We—”

           Salim rested a hand on Asra’s shoulder. “Asra, don’t be sorry. We’re alright. And you two did marvelously.”

           “And we’re so very proud of you two,” Aisha added with a smile.

           “Ahem.” The Devil exaggerated and everything fell silent once more. Asra took his place before his parents, and (Y/N) before him.

           “We drank your wine and ate your food, and nothing has happened. The ritual has failed. It’s over. Let us go.”

           All at once the shadows darkened as he rose from his seat, form distorting until he towered over the guests.

           “Over?” he laughed coldly. “Never.” He reached out a shadowy clawed hand to seize them, blackened fire erupting around the room.

           (Y/N) raised a hand, instantly cooling the fires around Asra and he. “It’s over, Devil. Fate says it is. We say it is.” His eyes narrowed with determination and he fiercely declared, “I say it is.”

           “You’re not going anywhere you foolish mortals,” the Devil countered and (Y/N) willed the magic to his fingers, an ethereal blade forming in his hand.

           He pointed at the Devil, took Asra’s hand in his free one, and dared fearlessly, “Watch us.”