#it's subjective. I know this. everyone likes different things

[marzipanandminutiae]

do you ever see a celebrity in costume for a period drama and then in modern clothing and think "oh. wow. what a downgrade"

(this is not a trad thing. this is a Modern Clothes Boring thing. don't get it twisted; I'm a left-wing lesbian)

[gangstalkerbarbie]

As a non autistic individual (it is possible to be passionate and unconcerned about social norms with the other brain wiring) I have a secret to share with all of you are you ready

Literally whenever someone tries to make you feel weird for not behaving like they want, think about how this would play out totally differently in another country without whatever expectation they have. People overall are wired to be smallminded, conservative and sure of the way things should be; people usually think the way everyone around them does things is "normal" regardless of any facts about those people, which is how we can get used to anything.

The alpha response to "UMM you're not ACTING LIKE I WANT ARE YOU DUMB OR SICK?" is "no YOU, why are YOU being weird about this? Why are your panties up your ass?"

They never see it coming. But if it really is something tiny and dumb it makes them uncomfortable to contemplate, because now you're not meekly accepting that you're Deviant and Deserve Correction, you're making a gentle inquiry: yeah and, what's it to ya?

NT teenagers know this instinctively and must be socialized out of going for the jugular at people like that ("L+ratio+you're bald" has nothing to do with why they're being attacked, but they're hardly ever usually getting rank pulled on them for an inherently respectable reason from their own perspective).

You too can reembrace the power of just looking at people weird for judging you on something inherently subjective. Was I supposed to know that? Why? Oh you learned it on TikTok? I'm not on TikTok. Oh all normal people are? Who died and made you boss? Is it really the end of the world that you expected something arbitrary from me and I didn't do that thing? Watch me ignore you for a second, see how you feel. Anyway moving on, how's it going, literally everyone else?

there's a new social cue coming out. no we're not telling you about it

[meglosthegreat]

"It was fun, but it got a little boring by the end" is perhaps the most common review of Veilguard's combat that I've seen. No one seems to have strong opinions about it, overall. As far as things to have beef with this game over, it doesn't even make the shortlist, really. I mean, it was fine.

But hell, I'm not above being petty, especially when it comes to this game. So amidst all the other things wrong with this game, here's my hot take: Bioware doesn't understand RPG combat, and why it's useful in, you know, RPGs, as they ostensibly claim to make.

This didn't start with Veilguard, though Veilguard is obviously the subject of this post. It was apparent since before DAI that they were gravitating towards action combat, and I had a lot of problems with Inquisition's system at the time. But Veilguard took it even further, doubling down on their pivot away from RPG mechanics. And, well, I don't think a proper RPG system could've saved this game. But it could've given the game something it desperately lacks - replayability.

RPGs are long games, are driven by the premise that most players will not follow the exact same path towards the end, and above all, are designed to be played in as many ways as possible. This is why character classes exist; why there are multiple weapons to choose from, and why there are more party members to pick from than can fit in your party at once. This works when you consider the other hallmarks of RPGs: different story paths, dialogue choices, and romance options. Variation outside of combat compliments variation within it, and this makes a good RPG something you can play several times and have a completely different experience each time.

And more than that, the mechanics of an RPG compliment a game that could take anywhere from 80-100 hours to complete. You NEED that level of choice within the game mechanics to get you through that long a game, and Veilguard's problem is that it has the length of an RPG, but the combat system of your average 30-40 hour action game.

Of course, there are excellent action games out there that are also up in the 100-hour range, but what these games do that Veilguard did not, is put the majority of focus on their combat systems. Elden Ring is probably the best example of this, but of course we wouldn't want a Dragon Age that's like Elden Ring, really - Dragon Age needs to have more going for it than just combat. And if you can't build your whole game around its combat system, then you need something that has the longevity to sustain a 100-hour runtime.

Everyone bemoaning the lack of direct companion control is absolutely correct - their lack of damage output and usefulness compared to the player renders them basically meaningless in combat. But what this also does is make any kind of customization of their abilities or their gear next to pointless. Even if you could replay this game and build them differently - which you can't, let's be clear - doing so would not make a single iota of difference in combat.

And Rook themselves - well, consensus is that the game starts to get boring about 40 hours in. That's roughly the place where you've gotten enough skill points to specialize in one thing, and though, sure, you could theoretically refund all your points and try something else, by that time you've gotten enough points to acquire all the skills in the general tree anyway. It doesn't help that the gear system is such that whichever items you happen to get early will probably be the ones you end up sticking with. It definitely doesn't help that the enemies in this game severely lack variation, and once you've fought one dragon, you've fought them all.

You know what would have helped? Giving people multiple ways to approach combat. Giving us enemies that require a different approach. Giving us companions that you can build out in interesting ways. Giving us, in short, a reason to play this game again. Because if you're going to create an 80-100 hour game that has very little else going on mechanically, then the very least you can do is make sure your combat is actually fun for the full 100 hours.

[selkie-on-land]

I always saw this quote ''trauma it's your fault but it's your responsibility to heal '' used to blame victims of male violence, especially in the militant/new generations. It goes usually with this bs ''if you don't work on healing you're just a an abuser and a predator exactly like men are ''. But it's the same rhetoric and literally same sentence that ''if you don't report/press charge on this abuser, you're just a an abuser and a predator exactly like men are. And if they abuse someone else, this on you not on them. '' and they usually goes hand in hand. Like every time I've seen someone said/wrote one, they always have already said the other one too. And it's always said in response to a woman testifying/open up on her abuse.

It goes hand in hands with this one too ''you're an abuser to share your abuse like that. You're literally traumatising and abusing everyone who is going to read you. You're not a feminist/victim you're just like any man. You should be ashamed of yourself and fix it before damaging every woman that you speak to. This is just trauma dumping and this is very wrong, this is an abuser tactic. ''

Until now, I was too emotional/triggered to think about that in an analysis process because I have a lot of cptsd from those types of response when I tried to talk about some of my abuse. And it deeply traumatized me to the point where I'm now unable to open up about any of my abuse except if the subject is already opened up. Even in therapy btw, because I'm deeply convinced that if I do I'm going to abuse my therapist.

To the point where I'm wondering if all three are not actually the same thing or part of the same thing. Maybe that thing has a name, but I can't find it. If you do, please, I would gladly know it!

I think that this is victim blaming but in a very specific manner, that seems to be different than the one usually spread, and maybe silencing victims voice but I don't know it feels like I'm missing something ? I thought about DARVO ? But darvo is used by an abuser on his victims not from an external source, right? Or maybe I don't know enough about it.

I received this type of comments/abuse from younger and my own generation (90s), never from an older one. And I mostly received this in space made for speaking out your abuse, like Call for testimonies for this or that violence, in every single ''feminist'' space ivl as irl.

Even now, here, I'm not comfortable with writing this down because I was always also assaulted when I was calling out this type of behaviour so it's very sensitive for me. It's been half an hour since I'm spiraling into anxiety to post or to delete everything. I know I shouldn't feel that way. I know that this is wrong. I'm wrong I know. But it's eating me from the inside. Why ? Why am I struggling like this, usually I don't, I don't even care of what people might think of what I wrote. But here I'm just freezing because I know, statically, it's absolutely certain that I'm going to be assaulted and abused if I click on the reblog button and I don't want to be assaulted or abused. So the only way to be sure I won't is to not post this. I hate myself for just such pity like I feel like I'm exactly what they refer to when they talk about victim personality that self pity etc. Oh fuck off Anna and post it anyway!

crazy how trauma isn't your fault but it's your responsibility to heal.

[smilesrobotlover]

Aight I’m gonna rant about the ending of totk… again. I deleted the first post cuz honestly my opinion has changed on it and I just wanna say some things cuz a lot of people left some awesome inputs.

Now I wanna say this first, I have nothing against happy endings. I love happy endings. Zelda games all have happy endings. But they’re also very bittersweet and some of them just outright devastating. This game def has a happy ending, but it’s underwhelming to me. What I want out of totk is CONSEQUENCE. You’re telling me that Link lost his arm and Zelda turned into a dragon and then in the end everything is back to normal and things are fine and dandy? Like it’s not a terrible thing, but it feels like everything you went through was kind of pointless cuz the characters don’t seem to have been affected by it. I would’ve been less upset if Zelda at least kept her memories as a dragon, or had some dragon features or something. The light dragon was easily the best part of the game and it ended in such an unsatisfying way. YOU don’t have to agree with that statement, but it was unsatisfying to me. I didn’t like how Rauru and Sonia’s bs magic just turned her back. I can understand Rauru’s arm being there since Link was there and Sonia’s time power turning her back to her original form, but how is she just there? It’s not a TERRIBLE solution but it’s not good to me personally.

A lot of people commented on the original post that there should’ve been a quest for Link to find a way to bring Zelda back, and I found that far more intriguing than leaving her as a dragon. This game is full of fetch quests but this type of quest I would’ve loved, besides, Impa WAS going to look for a way to bring Zelda back, it’s not like it would’ve come out of nowhere. I’m sure doing this would ruin the flow of the ending, but let’s think about AOC. Terrako dies. He stays dead at the ending. But after you finish the game, you can start rebuilding him, and there’s a second ending where Terrako is back with a cute second staff credit. Totk already has some AOC influence with the character bios and stuff, so I feel like it would’ve been fine if they had done this honestly. And it would’ve been more satisfying that the player WORKED towards Zelda returning back to normal. You can have the dive that parallels the beginning and all that stuff, it’s fine. I just feel like this would’ve been a better ending to the game.

But again, I want consequence. I want Zelda to either be haunted or amazed at seeing history before her very eyes as a dragon, I want Link’s arm to not magically regenerate, I want there to be something different with the characters. Cuz to me, it felt like the characters came out the same way they went in.

Now just to clarify, this would’ve fixed the ending for ME. If you’re content with the ending I do not care. Good for you. I’m so glad you’re happy. But this overhyped game wasn’t good for me and I have so many issues with it so I just wished that Nintendo did something better with the ending. Something more bittersweet or hopeful towards a future cuz there’s none of that (I guess Mineru dies but she was already dead and only Zelda cared about that so I really didn’t care that she officially died. And it’s not like she was an interesting character to begin with).

Tldr; I wish there were more consequence to the game and I wish the light dragon had a more satisfying ending

[crownedwille]

I've come to the conclusion that loving young royals doesn't mean I can't be critical about it, maybe especially bc I love the show so much I have such strong feelings about it, good and bad and I can love parts of canon and agree with it and appreciate it but I don't have to love it all. I have accepted that it's okay if I don't accept the ending and I don't have to force myself to support it. It's okay to not agree with all of canon and it's okay to not side with all of the creators' intentions/views. Loving a show doesn't mean you have to take everything the writers say on face value and that's the only version that is allowed to exist. Canon isn't everything and fandom is about curating your own experience that makes you happy and not miserable. You don't have to dismiss canon in every aspect and ignore it entirely, that's certainly not what I want but there is a fine line between being canon respectful, allowing some parts to exist and sometimes, yes, you just have to say "fuck canon" and move on for your own sanity and wellbeing

[wizardsix]

I can't remember who said this but there was this one dev who said that when making romanceable characters they have to be attractive in some way (personality, looks, not too morally fucked up etc). and since I read that, the statement hasn't left my mind and I'm very aware now of whenever outside influence and modern discourse get to me or other writers. like just yesterday I found myself rewriting a scene to be more "comfortable" to witness, even though the point was to be emotionally charged and face a difficult topic the character had been actively lying about. but some things can't be glossed over. sometimes it's good when media grabs you by the shoulders and makes you face horrible shit. it's good when media makes you uncomfortable even if it's coming from a ~romanceable companion~. that means it's working. if you remain comfortable forever you learn nothing.

I bring this up bc the veilguard companions are the perfect example and victims of the "romanceable characters need to be attractive" mindset. they don't have ugly sides, they don't fight with each other--and I mean really fight--they don't have controversial opinions or do problematic things. they don't ever question your authority over their lives and why you're the guy in charge. they are nice and perfect and their problems aren't really that serious and can be fixed by simply having a therapy session w rook (bc being possessed or gaining new magic isn't a big deal in a world where previously such events are Very distressing and hard to control). they are further proof that trying too hard to make something attractive has the complete opposite effect if your brain isn't the size of a pebble.

it's overall very frustrating that big game developers continue to be so spineless and I'm not giving anyone a pass for shallow writing, especially from a franchise that is known to have complex characters. none of this is impressive after the first three dragon age games, which were well loved and dissected and debated for years after their release. that isn't to say these games don't have kind characters, having that balance is why I personally like dark fantasy and liked what the dragon age games offered (whenever the writing was good..). it's not dark for the sake of being dark (see grimdark), there's a reason why these things are happening, and in this world no one is completely innocent even if they have good intentions. most people like when their characters aren't always kind or agreeable, bc it's extremely rewarding to finally find that middle ground (of course I have to bring up larian, who made bg3 and proved just how much people appreciate flawed characters, see astarion). conflict is the driving force of a story, no matter what it is. even the most sickeningly sweet cozy slice of life story will have some kind of conflict. it's unavoidable. that's life. taking that away is setting yourself up for failure and all that remains is a boring story full of boring people. no one cares about characters who have their lives together.

(the post is technically over but I wanted to put some final thoughts under the cut bc this got longer than I meant)

I want to go back to the statement real quick... like i do agree, it's true as writers we'll subconsciously (or consciously if you're insecure) try to make our characters appealing, but this is the common trap writers fall into by giving a shit about what others think and want from Their work (which btw I fully believe in writing what you want even if it's "bad" because something with genuine soul will never be as bad as soulless cashgrabs). romanceable characters can and should be as flawed as you'd make any other character, bc trust me there's an audience for everything. even a random npc with two lines will be attractive to someone.

the pressure of an imaginary audience is what pushes writers into a corner and prevents writers from writing and exploring what They want. it's the writer's story first, not the audience's. I think the romanceable companion trap can be easily avoided if writers just 1) grow a bit of a backbone and 2) ask themselves if this is even a necessary or insightful mechanic that will help develop a character further. ask themselves if this character even has the capacity to handle a romantic relationship bc everything else is subjective and it's impossible to appeal to everyone (which apparently this is a controversial take). I won't sit here and pretend that I don't appreciate a good romance, but sometimes all someone really needs is a friend.

obsidian is a good example of self aware devs. they tried to do romance for pillars of eternity 2 bc of fan demand, and it didn't work very well. now for avowed, they didn't explore romance bc they know it's not their strong suit and don't feel it's necessary for this story, instead that time and effort went to developing the characters in other meaningful ways. I have nothing but respect for such a decision bc they know what they want from their story instead of lying and trying to be everything at once. less is more as they say.

[lifenconcepts]

I absolutely agree with that and am SO happy to find someone similar to me!! I’ve never been one to hate on the shit another finds good but the popularised versions of identities being this half which is just sunshine and rainbows always feels a little unjustified for how much those same people which say ‘embrace the weird! Be yourself! Love others!!’ and say they support those which unapologetically go against what social norm has been formed, suddenly go from all kind to ‘yuck! How can you say that? That doesn’t seem right.. you’re not one of us!’ the very moment you mention you support real fur instead of faux, that hunting and genuinely mauling your food with your hands is okay, feel angry when another animal marks your home or vehicle, or any other variation of not being the ‘aesthetic therian’ others so believe is the ‘only’ way of being alterhuman.

The exact definition that’s been burned into our brains like a branding has gotten boring! There’s no right way to be yourself, because you’re the only one who knows what you actually look like! And no matter how much I see ‘alterhumanity is different for everyone’ I still tend to think that not all really get that into their brains. They take in the words but not the MEANING behind them. I want others to just blatantly face the facts that some find it nice, prefered in fact, to just want to be able to think and act like an animal. None of that explanation of why and how. (I love to find meaning behind everything but that’s simply because my soul craves knowledge) I too sometimes believe it to be great for the simplicity of a creature’s mind. You can enjoy harming another life without some twisted sense of pleasure (although that’s also fine. Huntings dogs were bred to hunt. Ofcourse they will be happy to hunt), to go where you walk simply because it’s what feels right (why must you understand the journey or destination in mind when birds migrate simply by how it feels and where is better? They don’t think ‘oh gee! It’s the 8th of September! I must get going to Portugal otherwise I may not survive the cold!’ Their minds subconsciously gather the temperature change and just vaguely understand they need to fucking go some place warm), and it feels irritating to fight for this in a community that claims to support and understand eachother alot- BUT ANIMALS DO NOT NEED TO EXPLAIN THEMSELVES! They don’t! They don’t decide to just casually start feeling some way and try change to be that, no! They feel a way, and so they are that. And that may change, it may be wrong, but who cares!? Emotion is emotion and sensation is sensation. Whatever feeling comes along then it’s that feeling which is invoked. This makes more sense with examples but I just had to get it off my chest.

You won’t find a flying squirrel explaining to another ‘look, I just don’t feel enough like a rodent enough because I’ve seen the air like the birds and bugs, perhaps I’m not made for this body because I love the air as must as the trees. Is it so wrong?’ No. It’s just living as it fucking needs to, eats shits walks and floats, and will die when it needs to. Our human minds allow for a lot more to do and various things to come of it, but they also are just so much of a plague of questions that assault simple activities. Ah- I could go on for hours, but everyone needs to know that an alterhuman will be alterhuman even if they don’t explain themselves. Maybe someone misunderstood themselves but to what extent does it even matter? Maybe it’s chosen maybe it’s involuntary but why are you policing another? Is life showing any sign of rules? Sure, patterns exist, and there may be exceptions for moral wrong doing, but in the end it’s always up to subjective perception to decide what is right for you. We already have human-made rules, it’s called the law. Don’t kill or abuse others, don’t steal and destroy another’s property, and the rest is up to your grubby little hands to decide (some laws are idiotic I will admit).  And I needed to get this out for a long time but damn it- ALLOW others to exist without a label! Allow yourself to go unlabelled! It’s a common practice but it’s not as neccesary! Do you know how much agony you’ll be spared if you stop going ‘well how much of a Therian am I? What counts as Otherkin? Have I experienced any symptoms of So-and-so in the past month?’ And rather spot what makes you feel better in your body, what brings happiness, and what you do often. The cause ain’t even all that neccesary to understand unless you want to. Just focus on what you feel like and what you want to see in yourself and then you can go all ‘let’s find a word for this’. Honestly. The English language has already so many words, and that’s not even taking into account those which grown lost with time. You really think newly-made terms don’t hold as much value? Or that a single word must explain your own mind and body? Your soul is boundless, but able to be gazed upon at times. So why limit yourself to fit into a new box just to claim you ‘escaped the system!!’ as you once more alter yourself and grow bound to mere words and a fear for others judging you.

Okay that’s a bit off topic now, thanks for the opportunity to ramble, but yeah. Let animals be animals. And animals don’t need to explain themselves, they can blatantly do whatever feels good or right at the moment without it having define their entire existence or life. Animals can be dirty, mean, confusing, nasty, dangerous, scary, but still have nice qualities. And even if not, it is not their fault.

Never ever mistake me. I am not just in favor of the uwu romantic version Being An Animal. It's not all moodboards and waxing poetic about tails/wings/etc and running in the forest wild and free. All of that stuff is GOOD and FINE and a nice outlet for all flavors of nonhumans, please do not stop engaging with that sort of thing. I'm talking about me also wanting to embrace the gross and so-called ugly and less fortunate aspects of animality. like when you're wrestling a large prey animals into submission so you can eat that day but it fuckin Gets You with a claw/antler/horn/hoof/beak/etc and suddenly you're hurt real bad. Lost an eye, a toe, half your tail. Got a permanent limp from being stomped so hard that will make hunting difficult so you may not live your full natural lifespan. dying of severe cold or heat and then your body decomposing slowly, being food for other things. scent marking with piss, shit, musk. being young and inexperienced so you go without food for days cuz you can't hunt for shit.

there is no part of animality that is something I don't desire. I want it all, because all of me is animal. does it suck to downgrade from human sized complex brain to smaller wolverine brain? No not really! I am not mourning the loss of things I never asked for in the first place. sure I could say that woo, less complex brain means less capacity for things to go wrong, but that is a very human lens to look through. does a wolverine know it's "lucky" that it cannot have certain human mental illnesses because its brain may not be that complex? no, and that's why I'm not worried. I could turn into one fully physically overnight and then die stupidly 2 years later and that would still be ideal. sure I also may romanticize some things in ways that are not really Natural for my species, like how I think places that feel like Home just seem so beautiful to me, but no damn animal is perfect. I am allowed a couple flaws. several, in fact, lmao.

I Crave It All

[ecrireverie]

okay lol mini rant in the tags sorry i just HAD to get this off my chest 😭 sorry if this is very incoherent and poorly worded or structured or whatever i'm just. pretty out of it and i cannot really think to write this properly. well, that or i am probably just illiterate actually. Yeah that's it lol

[random-autie-fangirl]

Y'know what here are the voices in Frisk's head that i've got for the flower prince (undertale/slay the princess au with Asriel as prince(ss), Frisk as slayer, and Chara as narrator)

Voice of the Human to replace Voice as the Hero as the main one

Voice of the Brazen with the Damsel prince

Voice of the Curious with the Prisoner prince

Voice of the Crybaby with the Nightmare prince

Voice of the Hero (not like stp hero) with the Spectre prince

Voice of the Angel with the Witch prince

Voice of the Determined with the Beast prince

Voice of the Monster with the Adversary prince

Voice of the Ambassador with the Tower prince

Voice of the Player with the Razor prince

Voice of the Spiteful with the Stranger prince

[gremlinhourz]

i just need to know does anyone else feel like briony from atonement is autistic?? like dgmw i really do get why people dont like her, but that doesnt mean she cant be autistic,,, its like its the way shes gets so caught up in her own thoughts that she fails to recognize other possibilities, like obviously thats not something exclusive to or definitively a part of autism, but i just i feel i definitely do that too,, oh also just adding in there her pride in being tidy and her need for control, and like people always describe her as "pretentious" and "entitled" but like idk i dont see it, like the part where she gets somewhat upset at finding out the twins are wearing her socks, its like idk cecilia didnt ask or let her know that she was letting the twins borrow briony's socks, even though its something small, to someone like briony who seems to value her stuff, i could imagine it would be off putting to find someone had taken/used it without at least letting her have a say in it, like i cant say for sure that she wouldve let them wear the socks if she was asked, but maybe she couldve pointed them to a pair she was more okay with loaning out, like idk, i know in the grand scheme of things and of the story the socks dont matter but i just keep thinking of it,, but also idk i at least have some respect for her because she doesnt try to shift the blame onto anyone else, she even says herself “She would never be able to console herself that she was pressured or bullied. She never was, She trapped herself, she marched into the labyrinth of her own construction, and was too young, too awestruck, too keen to please, to insist on making her own way back.”

[phalangemedes]

Ohh see, that's interesting because for all he is patently a big ol' sad sack of long term depression who began with ambitions and morally good-enough goals (a gothic horror heroine ala Dr Jekyll crossed with Ben and Jerry’s) I always felt like there's more of a malicious intent to him. Or perhaps not malicious but.. piquant. That he's not necessarily looking for forgiveness for himself, or in others, but that it's just part of the doctrine of the Houses now. He is the Forgiving Lord, but he leans more heavily on the Lord aspect.

It came through pretty readily with the Necromancer who did the blood wards for Jod, Mercy, Ianthe & Harrow to first enter the River, and his reaction as if their death was a brief annoyance over a commitment from them. Likewise, to a larger scale, when he says he chased the fleeing billionaires on purpose, consumed the planets in their wake, and them (GRANTED, mood, but also it was his admittance that he can be a petty little queen)

In another part Cytherea's 'funeral'; for all Mercy bitches about it it's more of a "I am bored on dwelling on the fact there are less of us!!!" John REALLY hams it up, and I'm never sure if it's him clinging to the last vestiges of humanity or wearing a human mask, because he’s obviously sad, but what’s he sad FOR? Much in the way he pushes to be a father figure to Harrow it just... something feels off and I'm not sure how much is text, subtext, or I've just taken a dislike to him because of what he's done to Alecto (also honestly low key neglecting Ianthe, which is presumably why she chose him, she sees neglect as the default and he is the ultimate position of power in the vicinity)

Which isn't to say John wasn't, if not in some cases still, isn't capable of kindness and some breed of humanity. And 10k years of Godhood is going to fuck a man up, but there was definitely something amiss before his ascension, long before the resurrection. I'm gagging to see how it plays out with Alecto once more manifest seemingly on HIS whims, cause he wasn't exactly shocked, he patently manipulated the tower princes, amongst other things. And it can’t be 4d chess to off himself, because he’s had options to do that…

Also also it sits so odd with me that he went to all that effort to re-make everyone, wipe their memories, make it “perfect”.. and he LEFT G1deon looking like a strip of beef jerky. (In much the same way I believe Pyrrha's memories of before stem from the arm, was it harder to Frankenstein G1deon because there was so much of his tissue left!? Or was he shit on purpose because he’s only detail orientated when it benefits him. Inquiring minds JODATHON.)

There are several allusions to Ortus being bad at being a bone pack mule too, but again, is this because he Doesn't Want To or is it because of something more congenital. And in respects to not knowing a lot about Ortus.. technically he died "off screen" twice. There is a possibility of his return (and at length Nonius AND G1deon) It's not like we know a great deal about the Cessation that's occurring in the River, or indeed what the whole deal is with the Stomas, "hell", Antioch, the Devil's. It's such an untouched subject. Justice for Ortus!

I suppose that opens up how thanergy interacts with different stages of growth, internally or externally. When it comes to thanergic output is there strength in youth? Is it more easier to repair young cells when they already have their own regenerative power? If a twink goes off into battle and gets shredded is it just easier for the medics to shlorp them back together than a 30 something? We don't really see many instances of young vs old in that respect, only necro vs lyctor.

Honestly same, it can be whatever batshit publishing schedule it wants to be (two books? mayhaps a side story compendium of unfinished and maddening snippets, small leather bound book of poetry... a king james bible but she's only highlighted the relevant bits, with gel penned hearts in random places we can argue about as a fandom) I'd even take a random date in 2029 if they were gunna stick to it!

It's toothsome isn't it, there have been acts that are shocking but they've never felt for shock value. Also I am frightened by how much I trust her to do it justice lmao. I think it's because, inherently, they are very obviously her characters who just HAPPEN to be in a book. I've seen a lot of talk about how it has 'fanfic' vibes and I'd argue that's inherently why it feels more padded out, she knows them all inside out, they remain con-- actually no, stopping myself there, they don't remain consistent, they GROW but in a way that is consistent to them as people.

But yeah. I will be such a big baby about Paul. I don't even love them yet, I don't know them enough, but I am nerrvvouss.

HARD agree!!

GtN is the most.. booky, too, I think? Which I mean with love, it has a plot structure and viability to be other mediums in a way that you Cannot further down the list. And was a necessary tone, and bedrock, for the rest. A masterful point in which to enter the universe, where there's still wit and some sense of hope, even if it's tenuous. Much like, tbh, I think Gideon is a perfect action and adventure narrator, in so much as she doesn't really fit the genre, and that suspension of disbelief makes it simultaneously easier and harder to digest. It's a more subtle but no less clever whiplash between tridentarii tits and cremains.

HtN is the first book in a long time that forced me to think (this is not a hard thing to do, I am not the brightest bulb, but to be *thoughtfully* engaged is a delight), not just on plot mysteries, but generally. It's not a passive consumable, you have to be an active participant in it even in future re-reads and that's SUCH A TREAT?? And the horror in it is some of my favourite, it's the creeping unease that you should get from interstellar travel but it's not actually the interstellar travel causing it. It's the loneliness of mental illness, it's the paranoia of untrusted adults who are in charge of you, it's changed in your body that don't sit right, it's comfort in someone you barely trust and the constant roiling grief of knowing something is wrong with you and you don't know why. It is a GORGEOUS and upsetting representation of Otherness.

Yes!! NtN is.. SOFT, it's proof that life continues even when it feels like it shouldn't. It's I think the most sci-fi of the three, if GtN is action adventure haunted house murder mystery (In the same way Alien/s is) and HtN Suspense Horror Thriller NtN is... kinda putting the realism in spec fic? It's situational dystopian novel of manners? It's love and gentility and breakfast scenes and rather than the outside being some bucolic countryside it's just war torn hell. I think it's the most character focussed, too. And I don't think it's JUST cause they're well established by that point because A) most are new B) the rest have been through psyche changing shit.

But like you said, it's kinda impossible to have a favourite, just as it is to separate them. Homogenous lump of beloved. Imperfect beloved too, cause there is fault, but it's such lusciously human fault that it just makes it better, like thumb prints in roman roof tiles, a promise that someone made it from scratch.

Please, no apologies! And ohh fear not life continues to... spiral, but this is supposed to be a chill, time non-restricted fun. I'd say light hearted but lmao who am I kidding, it's as deep or as shallow as we want it. But it was nice to get something in the inbox to look forward to!

I have such a big beef with the way that the TLT fandom talks about Cam and Pal being codependent. I have not seen any word of god quotes that talk about them that way, but it seems to be this widely accepted truth that just doesn't click with my reading of the characters.

Certainly by NtN Pal has a dependent relationship with Cam, as they are sharing a body. There are even some parallels to codependency with how their use of necromancy in Cam's body causes her harm.

What I just don't get about the codependent label is that I don't see Cam and Pal enabling one or the other in destructive behavior. Certainly they partake in risky behavior that Pyrrah criticizes them for, but it seems to be a mutual decision. Cam is just as reckless as Pal is, and possibly moreso.

(And also Pyrrah is a huge projecting hypocrite. Love her tho I may, it's true.)

Pal's quotes about how grand lysis wasn't their inevitable end, but was the best and kindest option left to them complements the discussions we overhear in their recordings. Pal's pursuit of Cam's consent and her enthusiasm in giving it just doesn't match the codependent relationship that fans keep referencing.

[elftwink]

been learning to play ironsworn (gritty fantasy ttrpg which you can play with a gm but is mostly suited for solo or small group co-op gmless play) after having the rulebook pdf for several years (stars finally aligned to remove invisible thing blocking me from reading it idk) because i'm on another solo ttrpg kick & i don't know what took me so long to get around to this game because it genuinely is exactly what i was looking for. years ago when i was playing through solo 5e modules i should have just been playing ironsworn (believe it or not, 5e isn't very suited to solo play and is extremely clunky when you try lol).

also though i have dabbled in some other solo ttrpgs, a considerable amount of them are journaling games which is fun but imo considerably more work (usually by the time i'm a quarter of the way through the journal entry, i know how to entire scene played out and i want to move on to the next gameplay thing, so i get frustrated and bored quickly. it feels like when you solve a level in a video game but don't have the coordination to pull off the necessary move so you have to spend 20 extra minutes doing something you already figured out), so i really appreciate like not needing to write something for the game to progress (ive been taking notes for my own record since im playing solo and thus am not really out loud roleplaying the way you do in a group, but i definitely could do that instead and not take notes and the game would still function perfectly)

& ive been playing by myself but also in the past ive played a lot of ttrpgs in very small groups which has been other games but is mostly dnd and like. we also should have been playing ironsworn so that having a gm was not necessary. have definitely played games where we had to adapt the rules soooo much to do something that is just base game included in ironsworn. plus it's rules-light enough to do pretty complex moves that pose difficulties in bulkier games (ever introduced someone to dnd and they tell you they want to do a sick backflip and catch something and then attack and you have to tell them that will require several different consecutive rolls and some creative liberties with how the rules are 'supposed' to let you move? you can just Do That in ironsworn. use the strike move and describe it. done!)

the one thing is that although it's rules-light enough to theoretically play any setting or genre (some with more difficulty than others), ive found so far that like... the grittiness and sense of threat is very built into the mechanics so that would be sort of difficult to work around or change (but i think it's great from a game design perspective). what i mean is like, okay: you start with 5 max hp. there isn't really a way to raise this max hp, you just slowly gain abilities (assets) that make you less likely to have to lose the hp in the first place, or that make it easier to recover. when you encounter foes, you rank them on a scale of 1 -5, and enemies on the lowest side of this scale do one harm to you, while enemies on the highest side do five harm to you. so even though encountering an epic enemy won't always be deadly due to the assets you have, they are ALWAYS capable of taking you down to 0 hp with one good hit. so the feeling of threat is much more present compared to games where your character starts to be able to just tank and push through a failure or huge threat.

admittedly also i'm playing solo, im still learning how to balance combat, and also i built a character who has NO combat talents and iron (the close quarters fighting stat) is one of my lowest stats so i personally am under much more threat than if you built a character who knew how to fight or who could do deadly harm. but also the other thing about combat is it's extremely difficult to maintain control of the fight; you have to score a strong hit to do it on basically all moves, and there's a really limited pool of moves available when you don't have the initiative, and obviously none of them really favour you. i don't know that this makes combat genuinely more difficult, but it does make you feel like the fight is always about to spiral out of your control. every second you let it drag without decisive action feels like it brings you closer to dying. like i said, this is a feature of the game design and not a problem in any way. just thinking about it because when i was initially learning i was going to try to supplant it into a homebrew fantasy world of my own but the tone just wouldn't be right. and that it is somewhat difficult to replicate the kind of worlds that i typically play or run for dnd, which tend to lean somewhat sillier and definitely much higher fantasy

but i like to try new things and tbh especially in dnd i find that i very rarely feel that sense of threat and when i do feel it, it has nothing at all to do with the actual mechanics and reality of the combat and everything to do with how well the dm sells it to me and makes it sound and feel scary and dangerous. which is a testament to what a good gm can do for you but i do appreciate the threat feeling more built-in and also being actually real.

[galacticlamps]

very minor thing I still definitely deserve a medal for:

being raised catholic, and now as an adult repeatedly falling in love with characters that fandoms like to declare catholic, but still managing to reject those headcanons because at heart I'm too much of a stickler for accurate analysis to get behind them when i know the person in question is really meant to be anglican/episcopalian/whatever other flavor of christian

i am being, as the poets say, so brave about it

[medicinemane]

Sometimes I feel like I'm going crazy

You have... very very very very very very very very smart people you know, and they're say something that not only isn't true, but literally is as opposite of the truth as it's possible to be... and you'll... gently inform them "hey, it's actually a bit more like this" and then they just kinda... go on saying literally the exact same thing

I'm not sure if it's just that... I often feel like I must be very bad at communicating, or people must just not notice/ignore a lot of what I say, but... I don't know

Like dearest friend, you've said something as absurd as... I don't know, it's hard to say without saying it, but honest to god about as absurd as saying the United States was a part of the USSR, that level of completely getting it backwards

...and it just doesn't seem to matter when I try to explain it... I legit don't even know if you read what I said

Really end up feeling like I'm going nuts sometimes

[p2iimon]

drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me