#it's simple logic!

[victorluvsalice]

Hi everyone – welcome to another "I updated the Chill Valicer Save farmhouse a bit" update! Because the trio had money and I had some stuff that I wanted to do to their home – specifically, making the new barn basement area nicer; making the kitchen a little bigger to fit more stuff in it yet AGAIN; and updating the séance room above the kitchen because if the kitchen got wider, that had to get wider as well. How did this all go? Let me take you through it room by room:

-->Kitchen – I did indeed manage to make the kitchen wider! I mentioned last week that my attempt to widen it by making the back porch bigger and then trying to pull the room out toward the greenhouse was stymied by the fact that this would screw up a bunch of stuff upstairs (notably both the séance room and the upstairs hallway, where the stairs are) – but that I thought that if I instead widened it into the gap where the pet obstacle course was, I might be able to pull it off successfully. So that’s what I did –

And it worked pretty well! Had to move a few objects temporarily to keep them from getting dumped into the household inventory (for example, part of the egg collection on the hallway wall outside tried to yeet themselves because I had to place them with MOO), but once I got them out of the way, the widening went off without a hitch. :) So now the kitchen is two tiles wider on the right side! :D How did I fill that space, you ask? Well –

I. I added in more counters and cabinets, natch – which included replacing two of the full-tile wall cabinets with two half-tile ones so I could fit a really nice Cottage Living kitchen shelf (with a cutting board and various large metal kitchen utensils hanging under it) under them beside the oven! What can I say, I thought it looked really great and added a touch of realism. :)

II. I added in some more fun clutter around the oven – the salt and pepper shakers and the Home Chef Hustle spice rack got put upon the new shelf (though I had to use “move objects on” for the spice rack, because for SOME REASON the damn thing doesn’t fit up there normally. It totally fucking SHOULD, I shouldn’t have had to use MOO and then fiddle around with raising and lowering it until I got it onto the shelf in a way that actually looked good, even if it was partially sunken into said shelf, but that is not the world we live in); the big fork and spoon wall decorations that I BELIEVE are base game (may be Dine Out, though) got put over the stove top; and the Horse Ranch and Cottage Living utensil-holder clutter got stuck on the counter beside the fridge, and some Cottage Living canisters underneath the new shelf (so they were all on either side of the stove "within easy reach"). Oh, and I put some canisters of tea by the tea machine in the corner, a cookie jar on the counter near the sink, and made sure Gino the pizza chef was still in a good spot next to the pizza over on the expanded kitchen island. :) It's always nice to clutter up a kitchen and make it feel like it's truly lived in!

III. Speaking of the kitchen island, in addition to making it bigger, I moved it in slightly so it wasn’t crowding the dining table (there’s still plenty of room to maneuver between it and the side counters, fortunately). Gotta make sure there's room for everything!

IV. Along those lines, I ended up fiddling with the placement of a lot of things in this room:

a) I scooched the dining table over so it’s more in line with both the center of the new longer kitchen island and the archway in (gotta make sure things aren’t off-kilter!)

b) I adjusted the placement of the windows on either side of the room slightly so they were a bit farther apart (to match the windows that I adjusted upstairs on the séance room to better accommodate the side tables in there -- see below)

c) I adjusted the placement of the side table with the fruit bowl, ghost candy jar, and picnic basket in front of the window and the plant in the corner accordingly (the old “press ALT to freely place items” tip came in handy there)

d) And I swapped the placement of Alice’s “Lady and Tramp” flirty painting with the photographs of Smiler at the food stand during the first sale (the painting is now with the other cute cat-and-dog painting she made a little while back above the pet bowls, while the photographs are now on the wall with the side table and the plant)

V. Speaking of the pet bowls, I bought two more pet feeders in yellow and pink after being unable to line the original two up like I wanted against the wall thanks to the newly-adjusted window, and then thinking “hang on, we have four pets anyway, why not just get more to fill in the gaps?”

VI. And, finally, I bought the trio a popcorn maker, a second ice cream maker, and a dishwasher, because the whole point of making the room bigger was to fit in a couple more small appliances for them to use at their leisure! The popcorn maker is on the kitchen island next to the waffle maker, while the ice cream maker is on the counter next to the sink, above the new dishwasher. I’m not sure if the popcorn maker will stay in the kitchen or end up in Smiler’s inventory, as my primary use for it would be for food sales, but I wanted them to have one just in case! Maybe I should make them have a movie night with popcorn one day. :)

-->Séance Room – Of course, widening the kitchen meant widening the séance room above it – I briefly considered just putting a chunk of roof on the new little “lip,” but I thought it might look weird, and I didn’t want to lose the windows on that side of the room. So I had to rejigger that a bit to make sure the séance table was nice and centered in the middle of the room – which meant adjusting the position of the door into the room (so it opened up with a good view of the séance table) and the windows on either side (so I could then scoot the sideboard over slightly and make sure THAT was properly lined up with the table as well). Which also meant fussing with the fossil display out in the upstairs hallway, as it didn't quite fit properly into its usual spot anymore when I moved the door. I ended up swapping Alice's apple painting that was next to the cat tree with the Island Living shelves containing their little Sulani shell collection that were next to the stairs and the ladder up to the attic so I could move the fossil shelves over closer to the cat tree, then put the Sulani shelves on the other side of the doorway since that felt more “balanced” to me. *shrug* I mean, I think it works!

Anyway, once that was done, I added in more candle chandeliers to the séance room to make sure the space was adequately lit (when we’re not using the sacred candles for “the vibes” anyway) and moved over Victor’s curio cabinet with his unused familiar orbs to line it up better with the table. And then I started redecorating the new, larger space, which... *grimace* Oh, cripes, it took SOOO much time, especially with me trying to figure out what I wanted to do with Alice's crystal collection and how I wanted to display the specter gifts the gang have gotten (like Soul Scraps and Specter Sips) and what other cool knickknacks I wanted to put in there. But, after a looot of fiddling, I FINALLY got the room into a state I like. Or at least that I’m reasonably happy with for now. Going clockwise around the room from the door, we have –

I. Alice’s mediation corner with her stool, the fancy Werewolves moon mirror, and the three pictures she took of one of the gang’s trips into the Magic Realm in the left corner

II. A Paranormal Stuff sideboard between the two windows with the fancy palmistry hand that keeps Guidry away, a Vampires bird skull under glass, and a cute Werewolves multicolored mushroom terrarium on it, with a Vampires Gothic shelf over it with the Werewolves crescent-moon salt lamp and two Specter Sips upon it (one empty, one full – unfortunately the Paranormal Stuff bohemian shelf that was previously there no longer fit above the sideboard when I started fiddling and adding new stuff to display, so I had to change it out)

III. A display wall along the back consisting of two fancy Vampires urns (in the two black-and-white swatches) atop Paranormal Stuff accent tables (in blue and gold) in each corner, then two white fancy display cabinets from Crystal Creations containing the Soul Scraps the gang have collected flanking the spare broom Victor got and the Realm of Magic curio cabinet with Victor’s collected familiar orbs in the center. What can I say – I liked the look of the Crystal Creations cabinets, and they seemed to contain the Soul Scraps the best! (Though I did have to MOO one of the cabinets into place, because FOR SOME REASON the game kept insisting it was intersecting with another object ON A BLANK WALL. *huff* Sims 4 sometimes, I swear...)

IV. The painting Alice did on one of their trips into the Magic Realm on the right-hand wall, next to another sideboard-and-shelf combo mirroring the one on the left-hand wall – the shelf on this side is empty, but the sideboard has the cool Crystal Creations terrarium, one of the Bizarre Idols the gang has picked up, and the Paranormal Stuff mini-cowplant terrarium. I thought they were cute and gave the right vibes!

V. And then in the right-hand corner by the door is the display shelves for the special Werewolves artifacts collection, as before

*nods* I think this all looks good and gives the right vibes for the room. Though you probably noticed something missing from the séance room now – the crystal collection! What did I do with that? Well…

[bj-cuntycunt]

Star Trek: The Motion Picture character arcs:

Kirk: I belong on a starship, so I'll have to get with the times and find my footing again

Spock: turns out I am gay

[ccycloneblogging]

Have some various doodles of Universal Morning Star, because this poly ship has my full attention right now.

After Joy Kicken belongs to @crazycakeparrotart

Red Rest DogDay belongs to @deleted-va

[anghraine]

I know it's well-understood at this point that Kirk/Spock is much more of a nerd4nerd ship than a nerd/jock thing, but it's just been kind of percolating around my mind that both of them aren't just space nerds but space nerds who were personally bullied.

Like, 18-year-old Kirk was targeted by an older bully who combines "total asshole" with "the most grating man in existence":

MCCOY: Well, yeah, I'm beginning to feel a little bit picked-on, if that's what you mean. KIRK: I know the feeling very well. I had it at the Academy. An upperclassman there. One practical joke after another, and always on me. My own personal devil. A guy by the name of Finnegan. MCCOY: And you being the very serious young— KIRK: Serious? I'll make a confession, Bones. I was absolutely grim, which delighted Finnegan no end.

This was five years after Kirk survived a genocide, btw, and likely well before his stint as an Academy instructor known to be strict and demanding (which is the period the "stack of books with legs" description of him comes from). By the time he's 33, fifteen years after all this, it turns out one of his deepest fantasies is just beating the shit out of his bully, but only if he can do it According To The Rules (the replica of Finnegan sneers, "Always fight fair, don't you? True officer and gentleman, you").

Spock, meanwhile, is viciously targeted by his Vulcan peers for being biracial from at least age 5; he's described as being tormented by other boys by that age, and "at home nowhere except Starfleet." I think he'd have been 18 or 19 when he left for Starfleet and it's... the least bad of his options, but he seems to have spent his entire career among humans and being persistently subjected to raw racism and profound disrespect for his culture at every turn.

Like, their histories of being metaphorically shoved into lockers are not identical or anything, but I think it's interesting that they both have them.

[th3-c0ll3ct3r]

I was praying for a Bamboozler final-

But realistically it's a Geminitay or Joel Smallishbeans win for many reasons

BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT BEING JOEL DIDN'T MAKE AN ENEMY OUT OF SCOTT THIS TIME!!! THE STARS HAVE FUCKING ALINE GAYMERS!

[serpentface]

Retconned Wardi firearms- a basic handgun, a highly decorative ceremonial handgun (belonging to Faiza), and a lance-gun.

Gun tech has officially been nerfed down to hand cannons (press F) (this has been a long time coming but I'd been fallacy of sunk costs-ing myself out of retconning).

Handguns are held similarly to a shotgun, with the butt pressed into the user's shoulder, one hand gripping under the barrel, and the other free to ignite the gunpowder. These represent the most advanced firearms in contemporary usage, both in make and in their use of uniform iron projectiles built to match the gun's bore for greater range and efficiency. Lance-guns are the more basal form, usually larger and mounted with the pole held over the shoulder, and are most effectively used by two people (one to hold and aim, one to light the gunpowder).

The spread of firearms is currently mostly limited to the Eastern Inner Seaway peoples (with some additional distribution via overland trade), and actual manufacture of hand cannons and gunpowder at Significant scale is limited to the region's core powers.

The reason for this limited spread is partially due to specific elements of the technology's history. Gunpowder was first synthesized by Burri alchemists and considered to be the discovery of the legendary divine weapon + solar fire of the deity Inanariya, and its formula (along with techniques for ideally refining its components) remained a closely guarded state secret. It was used predominantly in priestly contexts to generate flame and explosive sounds (in conjunction with earlier practices of generating multicolored flames with use of other chemicals), then integrated into combustible weaponry in the forms of fire lances, which would eventually develop into early handcannons.

The treatment of gunpowder as a guarded sacred or semi-sacred substance continued with Wardi adoption, where knowledge of its making is considered a closed rite. It's name (inya tsatsul or just tsatsul, a derived adoption of the Burri iñazatsūya) still reflects a divine solar association (the Burri word means 'sun's thunder', the Wardi 'inya' invokes the sun, 'tsatsul' is an adapted loanword and has no meaning independent of the substance itself), though its priestly use is now predominantly associated with the firearm'ed Odonii (rather than priests of the solar Face Inyamache). The composition of gunpowder can no longer be regarded as a Secret by any means, though efforts to obscure the methods of its creation are still moderately successful and has kept knowledge of gunpowder manufacture more limited than the total sphere of firearm usage itself.

The actual strongest limiting factor of firearm usage is the rarity of natural saltpeter deposits necessary for making gunpowder. The practice of actively producing saltpeter via nitraries has not been developed anywhere in the setting, and all is instead obtained via natural sources. These sources are rare and limited within the current spread of firearm technology, and result in gunpowder being a limited and expensive substance to produce. The weapons themselves are also very expensive to manufacture (a good quality steel SWORD is far too material-cost prohibitive for most people to own), particularly high quality firearms designed for use with standardized ammunition.

These guns are also very basal, and logistical difficulties in their use (weight, very slow loading and firing speed, high visibility, Relatively low reach and accuracy) along with the restrictive cost of production has kept firearms far from rendering conventional weaponry, armor, and projectiles obsolete (even within the societies that have access to them). They are still, however, very devastating in use within their contemporary context, particularly in that high quality guns have a longer range than the best arrow-based projectiles, and utterly negate most contemporary forms of armor at close range.

[violettierre]

My haitani father Shio headcanon is just a bit too funny cuz of how well it works that it sounds like a waste of perfect canon idea and crossover for both of wakui's works.

Aside from the obvious physical features very very obvious, identical eyes, nose, blonde eyebrows, rindou's face form, ran's hair color palette and (arguably) bonten hair style, blah blah i mean just look a the pictures below, you can also bring up any fact from either manga and add it to the hc and it fits in just SO WELL, i'll give the first example, The Haitanis are very obviously rich spoiled kids like have you seen their apartment? They have a fucking dj set, only rich kids with neglective powerful parents will have no problem paying for that, just saying, and even though i love him let's be real Shio is the type to be that parent, i mean cmon he's rich like crazy rich (filthy yakuza money yum yum) he tots would give his children WAY more than enough allowance so they can leave him alone, also the way they act, i've always the Haitanis were the type of kids that think they own the school cuz their dad is rich .

Nvm if this never becomes canon or both universes don't collide, it's just so entertaining to keep connecting the dots that were likely never there, like how Rindou is a heavy drinker cuz his father drank alot with the rest of the Yotsurugis and he tried to imitate him from a young age that it became an unhealthy habit or if you want to add more drama he only drinks cuz he looks up to his father but Shio favors Ran cuz he can posssibly succeed him (canon power complex) so Rindou resorted to drinking cuz it's the only thing like his dad that he can do. Heck yeah i made it angsty!!!

You can also add great context to his fear of Yakuza, picture this, when he was a kid he got up in the middle of night after hearing a loud noise to search for his parents and witnessed Shio (canon Yakuza) pew pew-ing some poeple and surrounded with scary men, that probably scarred him for life that he was so terrified when Kakucho got them interfering with some, OH OH something just came to mind, if he's the son of a yakuza yeah he didn't wanna clash with other yakuza families cuz it can end in a blood shed and risk his and his family's lives.

And i'm gonna add this one not very small detail and i swear i'll shut up (for now), i know it's just a stupid headcanon that is very far from becoming reality and i don't have to take it this deep but hear me out, why their last name is Haitani and not Yotsurugi like their dad, Shio is powerful and have many enemies right ? So he simply decided to protect his children and their identity by giving them another last name likely their mother's (yk like minato with naruto style plan ?) So Haitani is actually their mom's family name. I rest my case. Thank you for coming to my useless ted talk.

[cesareeborgia]

being upset about hbo’s post of emma d’arcy is justifiable but hating on olivia cooke as if she personally went on and posted the story is crazy. get a grip!!

[momentomori24]

This may just be me, but I think if you ship a canonically very abusive, manipulative and toxic relationship, you don't get to judge or call anyone degenerates for their own fucked up ships, actually.

[sammygender]

not indirecting anyone but i keep seeing the take that sam has power over dean because dean is so attached to and dependent on him. like it’s everywhere. and its just soooo fundamentally flawed. that is not how anything works. not to sound like a broken record but that type of dynamic (where one partner, the aggressor, views themselves as in fact controlled/dictated by the whims of the other) is actually very standard in an abusive relationship…

whether or not sam has ‘power’ over dean in this way is functionally irrelevant because his ‘power’ extends to his ability to somehow, what, psychically manipulate dean into doing what he wants?? whereas dean’s ‘power’ over sam is making sure sam adheres to exactly what he’s decided sam should do and punishing him if he doesnt do that, and deciding he has ultimate control over sam’s own decisions about his life (see main plot events of s4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, so on and so forth…).

[jude-harley]

i'm gonna do something i shouldn't and vaguepost about pathologic discourse i saw on my dash, specifically about daniil dankovsky and his position in relation to labor unions/organizing

i want to start by highlighting the idea that

a.) labor unions are a good thing

and that

b.) a good character would support that good thing

so people who think a character is "good" feel that character should/would support that good thing

this is the part of the post where i would get into more nuanced discourse except because i've only played the first game (and only the bachelor and haruspex routes) and don't feel prepared to cite certain passages from memory i feel unprepared to actually address some of the arguments made

so i'll just say this

i completely and totally understand the impulse to apply the simple a-b logic highlighted in the first part of the post to a character you like, and am not immune from doing so myself. but:

danil dankovsky is not a good person.

and he waltzes into town wearing the single most expensive piece of clothing in the game on his back.

[sasmeo-bisaster]

Wild life and secret life are siblings

Wild life is in love with third life but third life is too busy with their own angst to notice

Real life and simple life are third life's cousins

Third life and double life used to be together but they crashed and burned and are now bitter exes

Last life is double life's older sibling meanwhile limited is the youngest of the three

Last life and simple life are together

[gimmick-blog-bracket]

oh no

[holocene-sims]

next // previous

september 25, 2021 6:50 p.m. myshuno restaurant

why are you surprised?

grant fixates his gaze far away from his father’s fiancee, suddenly shrinking into himself when he realizes what her appearance means. she intends to talk. she’d walked him right over to the nearest bench–why else would she do that? and grant wishes he hadn’t agreed. he wishes he weren’t so brave now. he wishes he’d left faster, pretended he was in a rush, something of the sort.

you should have avoided this. all of this. this was a terrible–

the gentlest of prods at his shoulder stirs him from his racing thoughts.

“sorry. i'm still space-casing it.” grant shudders; she must have already asked him something.

if she’s bothered by his inattention, varpu doesn’t show it. instead, she smiles. not joyfully, though–it’s a thin-lipped smile that he can only describe as one of abject pity.

“i wanted to know if you were okay,” she repeats, “and no, i think i owe you an apology instead.”

“oh, i'm fine. and really, you don't.”

you are not fine.

fine doesn’t match the nagging ache in the core of his chest.

why are you upset anyway? why the fuck are you surprised? you knew all of this was coming. you knew he’d always–you didn’t. no, you bought it. you believed it somehow, in some way when he preached about being a better father.

“you are not a very good liar,” comes varpu’s retort. the pitying smile is still plastered on her face, though it slips more and more by the second, slowly replaced by an unreadable albeit piercing expression.

“it’s genetic.”

and you knew he was never going to stay. you even gave him your express permission.

and yet…

somewhere in the back of grant’s mind, a much younger version of himself–the child who experienced the worst abandonment life has to offer��is crawling out of the woodwork and screaming for attention, screaming so loud that he can think of nothing but that child’s agony. bad memory after bad memory floods grant’s remaining bandwidth. he’d barely shut them out at the table, only for them to resurface in a tidal wave the very moment he let his guard down.

“yeah, actually, you know, i don’t think i'd probably use the word fine right now, no.”

varpu knew that, of course. not an ounce of bewilderment dwells in her response. “i'm not sure i understood what happened in there, but nonetheless, i do owe you an apology. i'm sorry. it was my idea to invite you, and that doesn’t seem to have been good for you.”

“it’s not your fault.”

“i fear that it is,” she replies, and at last, it’s her turn to avert her gaze–she turns to face the alleyway on their right “it was also at my insistence that he reached out to you last year. i don’t think that was good for you either.”

“maybe, maybe not. i wouldn’t hold my dad being my dad against you, though. i appreciate that you’ve tried to do the right thing. you’ve been much kinder to the estranged son of your college sweetheart than i'd really have ever expected, and it doesn’t go unnoticed.”

varpu, underdressed for the weather without her coat, shivers as a cold autumn breeze whips by them. she turns back towards him, wrapping her arms close to her chest, and just shakes her head. “why wouldn’t you expect that i'd be kind to you? i'm a mother. it’s my responsibility to treat you like i treated my own children.”

“you can probably guess why i don’t expect that.”

“i didn’t want you to feel left out,” varpu muses, now nervously picking at her dress sleeves, “that’s why i invited you tonight. you have a complicated relationship with your father, and him remarrying and having another family must be uncomfortable for you, but i wanted you to know you would be a part of our lives, that you do have a place with us.”

“no, i very much get that from you. i can tell you care about including me.” grant winces. “my dad, your kids...not so much.”

“i only found out he hadn’t invited you to help with wedding plans or told you about the move this morning–he said he had, and i believed him, which was, as i see now, very silly of me. and my children,” varpu says, letting out a deep sigh, “i should have made you aware that they’re apprehensive about you. it’s not you, it’s…”

“no, it’s definitely me.”

varpu shuts him down. “it isn’t you. they have a good relationship with your father, and they’re very attached to him. they spent most of their lives without a father in their lives, my first husband passed away a long time ago, and having someone to be in that role now is…”

“a big deal. of course. if i were in their shoes, i might feel the same way about him. also, my condolences. i didn’t know that about, um, you know, you, but yeah, i'm sorry you had to go through that. that's terrible. and that makes sense. i mean, as in why your kids would probably not trust me. they don’t, right? you can be honest. it has to be a little bit about me. they don’t trust someone who doesn’t like my dad the way they do.”

“yes. i should have told you that, and i think i should have been much clearer about your relationship with your father to them. it was also very silly for me to think they'd change their minds before you noticed there was any distrust.”

“how much do you know about our relationship?”

she shrugs. “that it's complicated, that he let your mother abuse you. he didn’t lie to me about that. no, in fact, he was very forthcoming about his life since we last spoke years ago. at least i thought he was. i'm a little skeptical now, looking back and having realized he wasn’t being honest with you. if he lies to you, he very well may lie to me.”

“it makes me a little mad to know he’s just, like, chill with someone else’s kids.” the ache in grant’s chest flares with the heat of a billion suns. anger–the ache is anger, the purest he’s felt in years. “sorry. dick thing for me to say. and think. it’s horrible that a part of me wants him to be a piece of shit like he was to me with everyone else, right? no, i don’t really want that. you and your kids don’t deserve that, it’s just–”

“it stings.”

he almost laughs. “it’s so fucked. he can move on, have a new family, like a family he cares about, a family he does stuff with, a family he talks to about important topics, a family he’ll move for, a family he’ll fight for, a family he respects, and–” and again, too, the anger flares. “and he can just abandon me with no qualms. i was always nothing to him. jesus christ, none of my siblings were either. one’s dead, one’s still estranged, and he doesn’t even think about them.”

“the unfortunate thing is i think he doesn’t want to abandon you.”

“now that i have to argue with you on. he's done it before, so he's very likely doing it right now, too.”

the pitying smile returns to varpu’s face. “as far i know, as of this morning, he doesn’t believe you’ll ever forgive him or trust him. he feels rejected by you, and he's reacting to that feeling. i think. i can no longer prove he was telling me the truth about this, but..."

“oh, he feels rejected? fantastic, maybe he finally gets how i feel then. rejection fucking blows, doesn't it? also, that’s just ridiculous. i don't know how he can claim that. i came to meet him last year, i met him earlier this year, i let him meet my ex-fiancee, i took his phone calls, and i showed up tonight. he’s even admitted before i'm putting effort in. where the fuck is this rejection claim coming from? is it because i'm not falling over myself to kiss the ground he walks on?"

“i've truly disrupted your life by encouraging him to talk to you. i'm sorry.”

grant shrugs. “it’s okay. you were very positive in assuming things were salvageable, but he’s always going to be the same piece of shit to me at the end of the day, and i'm always going to be bitter and refuse to forgive him. i think we’d only be on the same page if i just rolled over like i used to."

“why did you try to reconnect, though? why agree?”

“fuck, i have no idea. it’s ultimately my fault for saying yes.”

why did you?

nothing comes to mind. nothing in particular. only the vaguest list of shitty excuses, the same ones he’s thrown at family members time and time again trying to justify his perennial need to prove the people who hurt him love him, actually.

he no longer wants to roll over like a coward, but–

“simple enough, i guess i want to hope he loves me.”

“what does that look like to you?”

his first response, once more, is to shrug helplessly. “i don’t know. i can’t say he didn’t try at all. he tried to apologize, tried to talk things out, tried to include me. even if he was lying about it or faking to win me over...well, i still bought that he was trying, but it never pleased me. it never felt like enough. god, this all, like, sounds insane, doesn’t it? i'm having this whole meltdown over one night.”

“but it’s not about one night, is it?”

grant’s breach catches in his throat. it’s not, not at all. the unruly child screaming in his head is showing him a pile of evidence, thirty years worth.

“no.”

“and it’s not salvageable, is it?” varpu asks next.

if his father ran outside right now and proclaimed with his soul his love, would it satisfy him? would it cure the ache in his chest, soothe the raging child in his head, turn his bitterness into saccharine peace?

he dwells on it for only a moment before an earth-rending realization dawns on him, and for once in his life, the answer is clear as day.

“no. there’s…” grant stops himself, peering up at the sky. “there is nothing he could do to fix this. i don’t think i want him to love me. i want for what happened to me to have never happened, but time traveling to the past inherently violates the second law of thermodynamics, so that’s unfortunately impossible.”

“i suspect you don’t need my advice, but you shouldn’t be afraid to act on that. your father is a grown man. he can continue to live with the consequences of his actions. you live with them, so can he.”

“that’s very true. uh, and yeah, i think i have to. again, that is. i have to tell him to fuck off again. i'll give it a few days, but yeah.”

varpu stays quiet, acknowledging him with an encouraging nod.

“so, i'll be completely honest with you..." grant trails off.

"please do."

"i doubt i will ever see you again after tonight, but it’s not personal. i just want to make that clear, in case it matters. i do mean it when i say your kindness is appreciated. i care that you care, and you’ve been nicer than my own parents did somehow. thank you."

"you're welcome seems a terribly inadequate response, but..."

"you're welcome is fine. best of luck with the wedding and the house search. regardless of how i feel about my father or the fact he has a new family, i don’t wish any harm your way. if you want to build a life with him, have at it. i know what i said earlier is not in line with what i'm saying now, but i hope the future is good to you specifically, and i hope it’s not disappointing i don’t want to be a part of it.”

[all-things-jily]

Random musings, but remember how during the ATYD era fans were tagging their posts with "atyd [smth]"? Everyone did that: artists, writers, just fans, the posts would be tagged "atyd marauders" "atyd jily" and so on and it would instantly explain the discrepancies with canon in the post and in hindsight that was such a good practice! I can't believe I used to complain about anything back in those days, we had no idea how good we had it 😂

[glitchingfluffster]

guess we can call it smart turtle luck