#the simple feeling was homosexuality all along

[bj-cuntycunt]

Star Trek: The Motion Picture character arcs:

Kirk: I belong on a starship, so I'll have to get with the times and find my footing again

Spock: turns out I am gay

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

megumi 🤝🏽 yuuji

dying even if it’s only for a good minute only to be brought back to life bc fate realizes if they died for real then they would need to find someone else to fuck over. those two are like fates favorite barbie dolls.

apologies if this post is going to seem all over the place, just bear with me. i don’t even know if you’re going to see this BUT it’s okay bc i need to get this out my system 😭.

starting off — god, imagine the chaos that will ensue when megumi tells nobara & yuuji about his very tragic history with the zenins. but like he wouldn’t even tell them straight up, he’ll just make a little deadpan joke (my sarcastic, sassy son) & the others would look at him like : ??? wtf do you mean by that sea urchin head???

like imagine itafushikugi going shopping for like traditional japanese clothes for a little festival or some shit (megumi was dragged by his spikes to come along) & nobara is having the time of her life finding outfits for her & the boys. like it got to the point where she’s dressing them herself & she shows megumi an outfit that looked similar to the robe he was forced to wear bc of the zenin (it’s obviously not the same) & megumi just refuses to wear a robe with similar color patterns to the zenin robe.

megumi: that looks like the outfit the zenin forced me to wear. i wonder what happened to it, cause the last thing i know, i got blood all over it. so as the second member of the zenin hate club, im not wearing that….

megumi: wait that blue one looks decent. i’m going to try it on.

nobara:

yuuji:

nobara: …did he really leave without giving us the “ getting blood on a zenin’s robe” story?

imagine maki complaining about naoya in front of the first years, & maki just brings up naoya’s onesided beef with megumi & her stories of how naoya was so petty back in his childhood made him remember who tf naoya is (megs have selective memory, it’s okay)

megumi: ugh, he was so annoying. i remember when he came to my middle school back when gojo was busy dealing with the aftermath of his evil ex boyfriend evil plan & he basically kidnapped me. i was stuck in a car with that man for 40 minutes..you would hate him nobara.

maki: yeah you would hate him nobara.

yuuji: i’m sorry he kidnapped you??? why did you say that so casually?

nobara: fuck that. megumi is a disney princess, we know this already. BUT we’re just gonna gloss over gojo had an evil boyfriend?

& imagine when megumi finally tells his friends about the zenin clan was when yuuji just came back from the dead & they were asking how tf that’s possible. & somewhere in that conversation megumi just let it slip that his heart stopped beating once & itakugi looks at him in silence:

megumi: yeah the zenin clan basically forced me to exorcise some curses & complete a ritual to get a snake — that snake fucking bit me. it was my least favorite. but yeah i basically died. then yuuta brought me back. then i was blind for a good minute.

nobara, yuuji, & even sukuna:

megumi: it was a terrible time for me. gojo was even more clingier & protective. it got to a point where he started treating me like i was 6 again… reading me bedtime stories, singing me lullabies & describing the pictures in the stories since i was…yknow blind.

cue itakugi & even sukuna wanting to burn down the zenin but ofc they can’t do that…so they settle for pulling pranks on the members & traumatizing them ofc.

IM ALSO imagining how funny it would be for yuuji to be jealous of yuuta. like bro is basically living yuuji’s fantasy world. i’m giggling at the idea of yuuji fighting for his life to be either megumi favorite or nanami’s favorite.

you also opened my eye to the potential of maki & tsumiki… like i also like to imagine that in a happier world, they would understand each other on such a deep level. but they would also find parts of the other that they wished they had. but on a happier note i like to imagine that megumi would suffer whenever it was brought up that his aunt is basically dating his step sister. like maki would be a menace to megumi. every little thing he do? maki is texting tsumiki in a corner.

maki watching itafushi cook together in the kitchen: i can’t believe megumi has a boyfriend. it’s so cute that he thinks that he can hide this from me. lemme go snitch to tsumiki.

maki listening to megumi describe his fight with sukuna, a cursed spirit who apparently has a stripping problem: oh my god. megumi is truly yuuta’s boy. they both got cursed spirits obsessed with them…i need to tell tsumiki.

maki to megumi after witnessing his suicidal tendencies: don’t make me tell tsumiki.

i honestly love your story. the way you added so much more to megumi childhood is beautiful. it just make soooo much sense. but also your characterization of gojo is so precious to me. i’m waiting for gojo to go apeshit on the zenin. i’m also giggling in anticipation at gojo finding out about yuuta attachment to megumi. i like to imagine him to be kind of worried about it actually, bc that’s not fucking healthy. but i imagine him getting used to it since megumi will have a protector in the form of yuuta & his power of love.

i’m also curious to see mai’s role in this story since.

*sighs in disappointment at gege writing choices*

since she had a crush on megumi…yeah. but imma just interpret that as she wants to be his family. it keeps me sane

i also wanted to ask if there’s a chance that you would write a megumi POV of what happened in the zenin clan? ofc i would understand if you wouldn’t since it leaves a much more ominous feeling to the events. plus yuuta running commentary is a good mix of angst & humor so ofc i understand.

Yuuji: man fushiguro almost checks the boxes for a Disney princess. except he was never kidnapped or enslaved

Megumi, sold to the Zenin clan, who later kidnapped him: *sweating*

Nobara and Yuuji would be the co-vice presidents of the "fuck the Zenin clan" club if they knew what happened. They would be the presidents but yuuta and maki are already in a death match for the position and they're trying to avoid the bloodshed. they are not allowed to be treasurer because neither of them know how money works.

megumi is unaware that a formal club has been formed.

Megumi is suffering SO HARD in any world where maki and tsumiki are together. they won't stop ganging up on him when it comes to his love life and general wellbeing and holding hands where he has to see it. maki lectures him about his suicidal tendencies in the field, holds up one finger, calls tsumiki, and lets her pick up where she left off. maki tries to talk to him about relationships one (1) time and he tries to drown himself.

see i'm pretty open to writing a megumi POV but it, like most of my stories, falls in this nebulous category of "if i have the time." like, i've thought about writing megumi's pov before, there's a lot of stuff that happened that exists as like, background knowledge for me that will never make it through yuuta's pov because it doesn't make sense for yuuta to find out about it. It would be very tonally different, but if i did write it, it would be a different work entirely and i'd be making sea glass gardens into a series.

i'm eternally tempted by the siren call of making my works into a series. If i did it with sea glass gardens, i would want to add a one shot of Megumi's pov during the time leading up to sea glass gardens and a short multi-chapter of the gojo, nanami, shoko teen parenting trio. If I have the time, it will exist; if i don't, it won't.

[johnbrand]

Weaponizing Normality

With @wakeup01

“C’mon babygirl, you know what to do about this, right?”

John gulped, his ex-boyfriend cockily lying on their bed. His bed. They were exes now after all, considering John had caught the flamboyant twink cheating on him with the young hunky cashier from the liquor store. But it was more than that, because John had converted his ex-boyfriend after the incident in a fit of rage. One bullet and a mental breakdown later, he had vowed to never see Garret again. But here he was, or at least, what he had become.

“How are you…why are you…” John sputtered, trying his best not to check out his former lover. The twink’s slim figure had been eradicated along with the homosexuality. Now Garret embodied the classic toxic straight boy. Rippling muscles, tanned skin, perfect hair and face. Even a tattoo was now carved into where his arm met his shoulder; the most heterosexual of all ink locations.

“What, didn’t you miss me?” Garret purred, his voice deeper and more sensual than John remembered. “Left my clothes at some chick’s place before I got here, hope you don’t mind.”

John realized what Garret was referencing. Although shirtless, he was currently wearing a pair of John’s slacks, his massive pouch stretching the fabric. Garret had always been too petite for John’s clothes before, but now the opposite problem had occurred. John envisioned his pants screaming in agony with Garett’s muscular lower half stretching them to the limit.

“Not the only thing I stretched out today, if you know what I mean,” Garett winked, reading John’s thoughts. John could not believe he could still do that after all they had been through.

“Look,” John finally sputtered, a firm decision settling in his mind. “You need to go, now.”

Garret frowned, taking a beat. “Are you sure? I come bearing gifts.”

“‘Gifts’,” John repeated unconvinced.

“Well sure,” Garret affirmed. “To thank you for all you did, and to apologize.”

Although he did not show it, John was surprised by this comment. Had conversion not morphed Garett into a classic douchebag?

“You obviously had a reason for what you did,” Garret started. “I cheated on you, plain and simple. You were acting solely as a response to my actions.”

John could not believe how mature this conversation was.

“After I got converted, everything changed for me. First off, I realized how much pussy I’ve been missing out on. It’s great stuff, man.” John did not respond, so Garret continued. “Anyway, I wanted to double up the two and come here for one last hurrah, a ‘To new beginnings!’ sort of thing.”

John considered this, “What do you have in mind?”

A self-assured smirk fell over Garret’s masculinized face. He already knew John’s answer before he even asked the question. “A thick, sensual blowjob on this new alpha body.”

John had no words. His eyes shifted from Garret’s down to the enlarged pouch, and then back up to Garret’s, before going back to the pouch again. John continued this pattern, with each glance back at Garret’s man meat a little longer than the last. Before he realized it, the words had already left his mouth.

“Please…”

Garret tossed his hands behind his head and shifted his pelvis a bit, “Get to work then, fag.”

Overridden by a sudden wave of lust, John dove in. Like a rabid dog he ripped apart Garret's (his) own pants, tearing away at the tight briefs (which on John were supposed to be boxers) immediately after. But before John could lay his eyes on the superior cock the laid below, he felt the pressure of cold metal brace his skull.

The gun went off quickly, the bullet lodging itself directly into John’s head. Garret watched as his collapsed on top of him, John’s body lifeless on top of half of his. With a chuckle, he dove his hand into the back of John’s pants and shoved his two fingers right next to the crack. He felt it pulsating, vibrating as it carefully shut its well-maintained entrance. 

Garret then began to feel up the rest of John’s body, curious to see what else could be affected right away. He recognized the flab of his ex’s stomach begin to evaporate away, and took in the crackle-pops of John’s widening back. Garret could not help but investigate the armpits, relishing in the fact that they were growing hairier and sweatier by the second. Bringing his fingers up to his nose, he grinned childishly in disgusted glee at the sour smell that had latched on, growing funkier by the minute.

Garret could not believe weaponizing normality could be so wickedly fun. He glowed with mischievousness, his impish revenge tantalizing him. Garret knew that it would not be long until his vengeance would be complete. But until then, he had to get this dude off his dick.

[sanzaibian]

I look at my watch, it’s already 3 PM. He is one hour late, although I feel that he’s not as much late as he is not coming.

I sigh, and go back to the locker room. I wanted to surprise him by waiting in the lobby shirtless, but after so much time loitering and being told off multiple times by the staff, I guess I must cut my losses. I knew that he wasn’t all that fussed about me wish for a second date in the gym, even if he seems to be a health nut, but still, ghosting me like that really hurts…

As I walk next to the mirrors in the locker room, I look at my body.

Honestly, with a body like that, guys should be drooling and yearning to be my boyfriend ! Yet, when I go on Grindr to find dates, I can only find people who will take me for a quick fuck, and never agree to anything further along… And this is why, no matter how fat my muscles are, how much hair is dusted on my body, how symmetric my face is, or just… how conventionally attractive to a gay audience I may be, I find myself waiting for a whole hour for a prince charming who will never come.

With a disappointed face, I walk towards my locker. By now, it’s no use to try and squeeze in an actual workout in addition to that whole hour full of variants of nothing – not that I really want to work out at all. However, as I reach my locker, I suddenly notice Ilham standing there in gym clothes, that he has presumably just put on.

I guess you can call him a friend ? In the barest of sense ? We do talk sometimes, only the bare minimum, but he’s always the one who leads the conversation… Well, you can’t fault me he’s so ridiculously hot without even trying, it makes me feel self-conscious even when I look how I look ! And, as if on queue, he notices my gloomy expression, and immediately confronts me about it.

“Hey Vítor ! Good workout ? Why do you look so sad like that ?” He asks, way too energetic for the situation. - Ah, it’s nothing, I had a gym date, but I was ghosted…” I answer succinctly. I don’t want to dwell on it too much. - Oh…” I can almost see the gears turning in his head, as he tries to makes sense of what I say, before he gets it. “Oh ! I’m so sorry, bro ! What a bitch to abandon you like this ! Ya know, I know a few girls I could hook you up with, I’m sure they wouldn’t do that ! - I’m sorry, girls won’t do.” I smile at his answer. “Once again, I’m gay ! - Sorry bro, I forgot again ! I swear I can make up to you !�� He apologies.

He’s Azerbaijani, and due to how homosexuality is seen over there, he has a really hard time conceiving of masculine gay people. But he tries, and that’s by far the most important.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry ! But I won’t hold you up too much, especially since I already butchered my workout by waiting for him.” I urge him, as I do want to come home sooner than later. - Oh, too bad… then see you next time, bro ! Have a good afternoon ! - Have a good workout !”

He smiles to me while I wave him goodbye, visibly trying to empathize with me, before leaving the locker room in a small trot. This is how far our “friendship” goes, just simple courtesy when we see each other in the gym, which isn’t often since I don’t have a lot of time to go in the first place, and nothing beyond. I could likely try to deepen our relationship, but I feel we don’t actually have much in common, since he’s much more of a social butterfly than I’ll ever be, no matter how eager he may seem to get to know me, with all of these allusions of making me meet people or inviting me to parties.

Finally reaching my locker, I open it and find inside all my regular clothes, my phone and my other belongings, as expected. However, I also find a small piece of paper inside.

Curious, I examine it, and notice that there are actually stuff written on it. Handwritten. A secret message ? In the gym ? That’s weird…

It reads :

“You with no name and no house, do not forget who you are.”

I try to find a signature of any kind, but I do not find anything but this… warning ? poem ? I don’t really know what it’s supposed to be…

But whatever it is, it doesn’t seem to have much substance. I guess it’s not that important for me to take further notice of.

I stick the piece of paper inside my bag and take my clothes. I’m happy to have thought of taking two sets of clothing, since with loitering this long in the lobby, the staff needs to see me leaving, even if it originally was in order to have something to wear for the after-workout date. So I change, I stock everything in my bag, and leave the gym, bidding farewell to the staff at the same time.

Once I’m out of the gym, I look around to find somewhere secluded enough. I wouldn’t want to do anything in public, after all. So I walk around a bit, until I find a public bathhouse, in which I enter, since it is perfect for what I’m about to do.

See, I have quite a big secret… or rather, you know the secret, but you don’t know why it is a secret…

Suddenly, my muscles start mellowing out, my abs fading, while the rest seem to deflate. My pecs start retreating inside my body while my shoulders narrow, losing at the same time all the muscle mass making them fuse into my neck. My v-line disappears, my calves and my arms thin out, and I’m losing mass all round. At the same time, the light dusting of hair on my torso starts thinning out, just like my big beard, losing loads of length until only a few short hairs on my lip and on my chin remain. My hair also grows wildly, covering my forehead in messy coiled hair, losing any order it may have had. And as both of these processes come to an end, I lose a few centimeters of height, while my face rearranges to become more square, my facial features arrange themselves in a less symmetrical way, until it all becomes… well… not a model’s face, just a normal guy’s face.

Here is the secret : the guy that was in the gym wasn’t the real Vítor Nunes. This is the real Vítor Nunes. Just a normal guy, a bit skinny-fat, a bit twinky, a bit nerdy, but most of all an unremarkable guy. And that normal unremarkable guy gets out of his big clothes to go into his small clothes, complete with jeans and a red t-shirt. When everything is secure, I go back out to the street to head to the cafe I go to every time after the gym.

I think I owe you an explanation.

The way I look right now is the way I always looked – well, minus aging. However, one day, about a year ago if my memory serves me right, I suddenly gained the ability to transform. I still don’t know what caused it, but all of a sudden, when I concentrate, I can change my body to reflect what I have in mind.

Of course, I’m gay, so my first instinct when I discovered this gift was to give myself big muscles, and so they magically grew. God, I loved it, it was so exciting to see my muscles swell in the mirror, it’s really a one-of-a-kind experience ! However, this is also when I learned of the limits of this power : it’s actually really uncomfortable to maintain another form for too long, especially when it’s quite far from my normal form. If you have that experience, it’s a bit like when you are in high heels, everything starts to become tricky to do (don’t ask me how I know that). That’s why when I tried to become a woman, it was so uncomfortable I could barely remain like that for a few seconds before I made my boobs go away. Therefore, while I have access to a very hot persona, I can’t maintain it forever, meaning it’s not actually that useful aside from some kind of party trick.

However, the temptation was always too strong.

I used to be a virgin, both in sex and in romance, and the dream of prince charming was a reoccurring one, especially for someone as lonely as I am. However, with this power, I could spend some time in another body, in a body in which I could look like god amongst men. And so, the Vítor Nunes you saw, the one well-thought out to be as attractive for gay men as I could think of, was born. And it’s using his body that I lost my virginity in what could be its own sub-story.

But it never went beyond that, a quick one-night stand, even though I looked very hot and not very picky. I don’t even know what I am doing wrong ! Like, sure, when I’m on dates, the other guy always wants to directly fuck, but still ! Suddenly, someone hails me.

“Hey ! Vítor ! You hear me ?”

I’m jerked out of my thoughts, and quickly cobble an answer.

“Oh, er… hey, Satoshi ! I… didn’t notice you here ! - Well, I noticed.” He answers me, dryly.

He’s always been quite dry with me, and I don’t know why. We go to the same university, and are in the same curriculum in writing, although most of our classes reflect our different paths throughout this degree. So we talked in the few classes we had in common, but nothing more, really. I guess he’s the closest person I could classify as a “friend”, and even that is a stretch. Recently, though, he’s been acting quite weirdly. I know that he’s started attending the gym, and he’s also bleached his hair. I wonder if he is trying to impress someone or what...

“What are you doing in this part of town ?” He asks me. - Oh, I… I was just at the gym, I want to be healthier, you see…” I half-lie, hoping he will be convinced. - I see…” He looks at me, squinting. He doesn’t seem convinced. “Well, what matters is that you become the real you. Now, I’m sorry, but I need to go. Bye.”

What ? What was he mumbling ? I look at him as he continues his way opposite to where I’m heading. He seems to be in quite the hurry, I wonder where he’s heading… Recently, he hasn’t got a lot of time, I always find him almost avoiding talking to people, and always disappearing once class is dismissed. Is gym this much of a time-eater or does he also have something I don’t know of ? … N-not that it interests me this much, of course, that’s his own private life !

Ugh… To save myself from my own thoughts, I enter the cafe and go at the back of the file. When I’m finally at the counter, I go to order, before the woman behind the counter, Sandra, recognizes me. I’m a regular at this cafe, after all.

“Hey Vítor, I didn’t expect you this early ! - Yeah, I had something to do with someone, but he never showed up.” I once again lie by omission, though I admittedly give her a more accurate picture. - Oh, I’m so sorry for you !” She brings her hand on her mouth to empathize with me. She’s always been very expressive. “But speaking of people not showing up, I’m guessing you want an americano, like usual ? - Yes ?” I answer, unsure where she’s heading with this. - Well that’s great ! Because a kind soul actually bought you one !”

Smiling, she gives me an already prepared americano, to which a piece of paper is attached, that I take with a confused look.

“And… to whom I owe the honor ?” In ask her. - Well, that person asked to remain anonymous ! But they told me that you should be able to piece together who they are thanks to this piece of paper I attached !” She answers, radiating in glee. Yeah, she also loves drama. - Okay… well, give them my thanks if you see them, I guess…”

I wave her goodbye and take place at an outside table. Another piece of paper ? It must be a coincidence, the consequences of it not being are way too scary for me to dwell on too much. Yet, when I read it, these consequences seem more and more like reality…

“For you really have a beautiful self, especially when you show your true face.”

It’s the same handwriting as the note I found at the gym ! Plus, when putting the two pieces of paper, it really does seem to be directly talking about my transformations… But who is it, and what do they want from me ? How did they find out about my secret ? And why this sudden… flirty tone ?

I sigh, and quickly drink my coffee. Due to the fact that it has already been prepared, it means that it’s a bit colder than usual, meaning it’s easier to drink. Wait… if it’s barely colder than usual… does this mean that the one having ordered it was here barely a few minutes ago ? But if it’s so, then how could they have slipped another piece of paper inside my locker ?

The caffeine starts hitting my brain, making me mull over the facts and imagine who could be the one to deliver these notes. Whoever they are, they seem to know my routine, since they knew that I would go to this cafe after the gym. It means that it’s very likely someone I know, or at least someone whose face I have already seen. They also have been witness to one of my transformations somehow, so they’ve likely hung out at the gym… or been one of my earlier dates perhaps ?

Everything is confusing, I just cannot find a way to make sense of all of that ! And… what will happen now that my secret is revealed ? Am I suddenly going to become a lab rat, as my weird condition is revealed to all ? Am I going to have to perform weird or even illegal tasks to stave off outing of my power ? Am I going to be recruited by a criminal organization in order to perform heists as an unknown person ?

Looking at my empty cup, I understand I’ve now gone too far in my thoughts. I’m likely not going to be coerced by a criminal ringleader to commit crimes. That’s ridiculous.

I dispose of my cup and head home. I’ve seen enough today, and I really need an actual break. So I take the bus, a few connecting ones until I’m finally back where I live. Before entering, I quickly go to check if there’s anything in the mailbox. And as if on queue, there is, some random account statements and other official stuff… and another of those papers.

They know where I live ! Now I can actually be scared ! For sure they’re going to make me do crimes or intern me inside a research center, I know it ! Shaking, I take out the piece of paper, and read it. It is written with the same handwriting as the others, so it confirms the fact that they do know a lot about me, but… er… eh ? Here is what it says :

“You are always worthy of love, so never forget the above.”

Wait wait wait, from the beginning, the flirty was what it was all actually about ? It is a love declaration ? … I guess it does rule out the criminal possibility… So who could it be ?

Thinking about it… It can’t be Sandra at the cafe, her shift wouldn’t let her go in the gym when I was there, and she was the one saying that they bought the coffee and left me the message. It can’t be Satoshi, although he could have bought me coffee, he couldn’t put the message in my locker, since I didn’t see him entering the gym, and he was actually walking towards the gym when I saw him. Plus, he’s so dry with me I’d think he hates me before I’d think he loves me. It can’t be Ilham, although he could have put his message in my locker before I entered, he’s currently at the gym, so he couldn’t buy me coffee. Plus, to my knowledge, he’s straight, and he’s still learning English, so he couldn’t have written such a complicated “poem”.

And I didn’t see anyone else during my little trip, so it could literally be anyone else !

But wait… looking back at the three pieces of paper, of the sequence they put together… it reminds me of something… I open my door and quickly make my way to my computer. I need to check something. To check a certain creative writing homework I had in first year.

And finding it… yes. I was correct. This is directly taken from it. The homework we did in duo back in first year of college. It’s weird… is it… really him ?

I close back up my computer, put down all of my stuff while continuing to mull over this revelation. But all of my thinking leads me to one conclusion and one only : I need to call him. So I take out my phone and do just that.

“Hello, Vítor ? Why do you call me ?” He asks, picking up almost immediately after me calling. - I just wanted to ask… do you remember our creative homework, back in first year ? - Yeah, I do, of course I do. - And… have you recently used it for anything ?”

I hear a sigh. Of course I was right.

“So you understood that it was me. I think we both have things to say to each other, so let us meet. - I guess we do.”

And so I go back out of my house, back to where it all started. Back to the gym. I walk for a bit, take a few buses, and when I’ve finally arrived, none other than Satoshi was waiting for me in front of the gym.

“Hello again, Satoshi.” I hail him. “So, you said we had to discuss ? - Yes. Let me be clear at first : I know that you have a muscular alter-ego that you can become. I don’t know why, or how, but I know you do. - How… did you know ?” I ask, a bit anxious, while he smiles at my question. - Well, you see… since the beginning of the year, you’ve been quite absent, and it made me quite worried.” He began recounting, feeling in his way of speaking way more personal and warm. “Honestly, while at first I thought to myself that you can have your own life, and that I shouldn’t interfere with it, your presence started to feel… missing.”

Huh, I didn’t know that I turned him down this much when I discovered my power. I thought that everything was just going as usual, only talking while in public transports and all… Yeah, I guess since I started going to the gym to get hookups, I changed my route after class, meaning that it overlapped less… I didn’t consider that…

“So, one day, I decided to follow you. Discreetly, of course, until you went to that gym. I… I didn’t know why you would go in there, but following you, I saw you entering a changing room… and out left a muscular man. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that it was you. - So this is how you understood that I had powers… - Yes. But this is not the end of my tale. Because I then thought of why I cared so much about you not being available. It wasn’t the first time someone would more or less abandon me out of the blue like that, but it was the first time I was this agitated. Especially because our relationship wasn’t that deep, all things considered. This lead me to the conclusion that I… er... want to spend more time with you, and made me realize that… in truth… er…” He blushes, suddenly trailing off and having a hard time to articulate clearly. “That… that I’m in love with you.”

Although I expected it, I still blush. He’s so straightforward ! And… it’s so unexpected, all things considered ! I guess I still had in mind the possibility that he was just trying to hype me up, somehow ?

“And what really angers me most,” He continues “is that you are overt there trying to be as ‘masculine’, as ‘beautiful’ or anything else to woo people, even though you’re already great the way you are ! And how you sabotage yourself by catering to this image of yourself you invented, going to the gym and all…”

I don’t know what to say. I guess I’ve been really focused in being as much of a gym rat as I could, else my cover would be ridiculous…

“Is it like that ?” I can finally manage. “That people don’t bye the muscular self I have ? - No. I- I don’t think that’s it. It’s more that you do it too well, so they don’t see you as anything more than a gym rat. I guess it all feels wrong and not personal, because it’s not you ! You’re forcing yourself to be someone you’re not ! B-but… since I have the privilege of knowing who you really are… I want to say that the real you is more. It’s beautiful, and warrants love…” He says, blushing even more. - H-how are you saying this with a straight face…” I answer, smiling, while being swept by the wave of awkwardness he radiates. - I’m not… But I really want to tell you what things really are. Because you deserve it.” He takes a large inspiration. “So. Do you want to go out with me ?”

By now, I fully knew what was coming.

And I know my answer.

“Yes, I do.”

“Hey, I’m home !” I announce, coming back home.

However, I do not find any answer to my call, even though Satoshi is supposed to come to my house this evening. He’s likely not there yet, I’m sure taken by his work, meaning that it’s going to be at least a small while until he makes it here.

I smirk. I know what to do to him. He will hate that, but it will be way too fun an opportunity to pass up. So I go to my room, completely undress, and take out some of the special clothes I still have stashed in the corner of my cupboard. In particular, I take out a very big par of jeans, the kind that would usually never fit me.

Then, all of a sudden, I feel my muscles tense up. They’re pulsating, getting progressively bigger and bigger. My pecs are the most noticeable of all of them, rounding up and sagging down in big globes attached to my torso, but everything else gains in mass. My shoulders crack as they’re pushing apart, muscles growing between them and my neck, and a light dusting of black hair starts appearing on them. They descend all over my body, on my torso, beneath my armpits, in my crotch, and on my legs. My crotch also embiggens, the hose hiding inside taking more and more place, while on the rear side my ass cheeks firm up, and gets bigger just like the pecs upstairs.

As it all happens, my face also itches, as the little hairs that are on it start growing, elongating my face at the same time. These hair grow all over my chin into a long beard, while on my lip they only grow denser. At the same time, my face rearranges to become more conventionally attractive, more symmetrical, and my hair starts shortening a bit, and becoming more well-kept.

As the last few details of my transformation arrange themselves, I put the large jeans on, not even bothering to put on underwear before that. Yup, that’s very sexy alright, he’s gonna hate that ! And so my muscular self takes place in the living room, waiting for his beloved to come.

Because this time, I know my prince charming will come.

================================================

Hey ! A story (that was again hard to write) for the last few hours of Pride Month, if it's even still on in your part of the world ! ^^'

I hope we in the TF community can recognize all the colors of the rainbow and all the letters of the acronym, including bi (and similar identities) and trans people ! And I also hope that we can all help to build, each to our ability, a better and more tolerant world (especially in the face of the rise of hateful ideologies around the world, yes I'm quivering at the results of my elections ^^')

So yeah, happy pride, everyone !

[nthspecialll]

Bill Williamson "being an asshole"

I hear quite a lot of people saying that they do not like Bill because he is an asshole but I actually don't think it is that true. Some of the points I am gonna run through are going to be shortened but I will link to longer explanations.

Let's drop directly into the one I hear the most "Bill is responsible for Sean's death," yes and no, but mostly no. A lot of people use the argument "how could Bill not see it was a trap?" however I think we forget it wasn't just him who couldn't. Micah, Bill, heck even Dutch could not see it, it is also mentioned around Lenny and Karen while they ride to Valentine, and they don't mention a problem with it either, actually, the only two characters who shows any concern are Sean and Arthur and yet they both go along with it anyways because they think they can handle it.

Quite a lot of times we see characters going on risky jobs even though it might not turn out well, including Arthur and Hosea going to the Braithewaite manor, which was literally turning up two people to a massive family with something they stole from them, but they do it anyways because they think they can handle it, and for the majority of the time they can. A job going wrong, a risky job, going wrong is not new, but as Bill points out "when you mess up it is just one of those things, but when I do it I am an idiot."

One of the many reasons why Bill is being called an idiot by many is because of the dynamite in chapter one that didn't go off, but a surprising amount of people forget that !!Arthur!! set that charge and even admit it! It is even stated other places that Bill is an explosives expert, now imagine some amature comes along, asks if you want help, you give them a simple task, they mess it up and now everyone blames you for the one thing they previously respected you for.

There are a lot of the others reason why he is being called an idiot in camp, but it is more complicated.

Bill is very eager to please, and that is not anyone, but Dutch, Bill owes Dutch everything. Bill got thrown out of the army for being homosexual and lost himself completely, completely lost faith in himself, completely lost confidence in himself, became the man he said he would never become, but Dutch saved him, pulled him out of that hole and gave him everything, just like Dutch gave Javier or Lenny everything they could dream of.

That said, Dutch does not replicate, he likes Bill, he trusts Bill, but he doesn't value Bill half as much as some of the others which weighs Bill down quite a lot. Bill also works hard for the gang, being of the gang members present at most jobs, six-point cabin, Valentine bank robbery, coach robbing, security job and so forth, he mentions it himself, while Arthur is out, so is he. He most likely does just as much coach robbing and stealing as we do.

The difference between Arthur and Bill though is that while they work about as much, Bill does not get the same recognition from the others, especially Dutch, whom he worships, this leads to a lot of jealousy and a feeling of unjustness. This is displayed as fustrated anger and snarking comments as well as the "when you mess up it is just one of those things, but when I do it I am an idiot," but also more visibly when he drunkenly speaks to John and says "everyone thinks you are Dutch's pet" - "or at least I do." He is jealous that those two have such a long leash and no consequences, yet a small mistake from him and he will never hear the end of it.

For seven entire years Bill tried to please Dutch but was only ever made fun of.

In chapter four if you meet Sonny (if you don't know who that is, be glad) Bill will come up and say "he seemed to know all about you!" a lot of people see this as Bill making fun of Arthur's sa, but taking in historical context and the dynamic between Bill and Arthur, that does not make sense, rather it sounds like Bill thinks Arthur had a consensual homosexual hookup and Bill sees a chance to bully Arthur with the very thing Arthur bullies him for. (A link to further explanation)

Then we have one of the reasons why I am not too fond of him and that while I can explain will not excuse, his abuse of Kieran. Now we are going back to the homosexuality because while this is a progressive gang, this is not a homosexual accepting gang, they bully him quite a lot and that isolates him quite a bit. Suddenly he finds a person in camp who he likes, but he doesn't know how to approach. The fustrations of being alone, as well as the lack of "protection" Kieran has, leads to these unfortunate events of him trying to flirt and show affection but not knowing how to. (Wonderful explanation)

I also see some comments on his general racism against Lenny and Javier (which he btw only does when drunk, otherwise he knows to keep his thoughts to himself), and this is very simple to explain. Bill is a man in 1899. That is it. We sometimes forget that people in 1899 were not like Dutch, they were not like Arthur, people in 1899 were racist. Finding an Arthur would be like finding a needle in a haystack, finding a Bill would be finding a haystraw in a haystack. Does that excuse it? No, but it explains it. (Edit; I have looked deeper into Bill's racism and realised it is not this easy, link to explaination here)

A Reddit post called "why I hate Bill Willimason" that I am using right now also mentions how he didn't get any leads at the majors party "because he is a massive idiot and struggles to fit in or get anyone to continue talking to him. Why on Earth was he even brought along to this event?" Because he wanted to, because he wanted to impress Dutch. Again, Bill feels in debt to Dutch, he looks up to Dutch and to some degree Hosea as well. Most likely it was only meant to be Dutch, Hosea and Arthur who went to the ball, but Bill valuneteered as well.

We hear how excited Sean is about going out with Charles, Arthur and John, saying "me and the big cheeses, love it!" This was most likely Bill's "big cheeses," he is used to going on jobs with Charles and John, but Dutch and Hosea? The important ones? That is special to him and he wanted to prove that he could do something, that he was worth something but he failed, why? Because he is not used to people, because he struggles fitting in, when you follow him around at the party you can hear him awkwardly trying to start a convosation but people judge him and ignore him. He is trying but the others are rejecting him.

I have also found this lovely sentence in the post: "Him not giving a damn about Lenny's death and never actually addressing it in the entire game reflects what a piece of trash he is." Bill Williamson grew up as a boy in the 1800, he was taught from childhood that showing emotion means he is weak, something physically beat into him in the military, and the fact that he is gay makes it even worse. Bill being gay, something seen as weak, makes him try to make up for it, he is not going to show a lot of emotion. It is not just Lenny who's death he doesn't comment on, and it is exactly because of this.

Then the redditor goes on to compare Micah and Bill and how they are both terrible but comes with this sentence: "The difference between them is that Bill is supposed to be one of the senior and more trusted gang members." But the thing this lovely person fails to acknowledge is that Bill is not given that seniority, he sleeps together with Lenny who says he "sleeps with the juniours" (even though he sleeps with Hosea? But point either way), Dutch mocks him by saying "yeah what about you Bill?" None of the other takes him seriously and he is talked down to.

Lastly there is the whole he sided with Dutch and he acused John of being the rat. Yeah, he sided with Dutch because Dutch is a god to him, Dutch is his savior, his everything and Bill trusts him, the idea of John being the rat itself was Dutch's idea that Bill just adopted. Now that said, he not completely blinded as some might think, as soon as the Pinkerton's show up in the end Javier and Bill are gone. You can use the camera to search all around camp and while Micah, Joe, Cleet and Dutch are very easy to find, Javier and Bill are not, you cannot find them. Most likely they ran away as soon as it started because they knew that the revenge was stupid and pointless and saw their own surivial more important, not to mention the clear, at least, annoyance that Bill has with Dutch in rdr1.

I am not going to go into talk about rdr1 because there he is a proper asshole, but rdr2 Bill is very defendable and I really dislike people just slapping the label "asshole" on him and calling it a day without looking deeper into who he is and why he does what he does.

Another not so fun fact, Bill's father was an alcoholist who lost his mind due to it, Bill hated it, hated all of it and his biggest fear was ending up like him... I don't think Bill ever liked himself for drinking.

(This is not a defending post and you can absolutely hate Bill if you want, this is an EXPLAINING post to make people understand him and his choices better)

[cosmogify]

Where Shadows Lie - GF AU Sheet

Ok finally did Helen's ref sheet yippee! Procrastination had me chained to the bed, literally.

Berry reference sheet

Info dump ahead.

Name: Helen Lampinen

Nickname: Lenny, Len, Kirsikka (Finnish pronunciation)

Birthday: September 29

Age: 46

Orientation: Aroace

Species: Human

Height: 5'6 ft

Weight: 163 lbs

Voice: Annapantsu's voice fits her so well augh

Relationship Status: Single

Family: Folke Lampinen (Father, alive)(WSL!dd), Outi Lampinen (Mother, alive)(WSL!mm)

Partner(s): None

Friends: Piro Fürst (Late friend), Birger Filppula (Late friend, B.F.), Berry Klein (Ward, WSL!bf), Ludvig Carlen (Coworker, WSL!steve)

Acquaintances: Hans Adler (Coworker, WSL!tankman), Darnell Adams (WSL!darn), Nene Ming Yue (WSL!nene)

Enemies: Sigmar Tollens (Works under, WSL!sen), Schatten (WSL!pico)

Personality: A textbook workaholic but does try her best to live a balanced life (and so far failing to). Has an affinity for children and does her best to take care of them through her job as a psychiatrist, usually is determined to see their rehab through and adapts well in various situations. Cares for her parents a lot even with their insistence for her to follow family tradition.

Personality flaw: Tends to have difficulty to let go of the past and often reminisce on memorable moments and old friends. Although she's straightforward out of work, she has a habit to overthink other people's thoughts and behaviors when interacting with them.

Likes: Her job, latte coffee, celery with peanut butter, red velvet cake, reading children's books, fantasy novels, sweet cocktails, sunflower seeds, acoustic music, lasting friendships, friendly spirit entities

Dislikes: Black coffee, spinach, being alone, strong alcohol, hostile spirits, leaving her loved ones behind, thunderstorms, miscommunication.

Backstory:

Her life should have been simple. Grow up, go to school, have friends, follow her family's tradition. It should've stayed that way, but it seems fate had other plans.

It was during middle school when she had met her best friends, Piro and Birger. They were quite the shy duo, although the latter was a bit bolder. Nonetheless, they quickly bonded with each other after messing around at the nearby playground until their parents came to take them home. Although Helen was quite a rambunctious young girl, she quickly adapted to being more approachable to the older two boys, having a strong desire to be friends with them.

Days passed, then weeks, months, and soon years have gone by like leaves in the wind. The trio were walking along the pavement to their university, hands holding together swinging back and forth. Helen and Birger were singing a popular folk song of the time, their hands swaying roughly back and forth to their slightly disoriented rhythm, while Piro on her other side hummed quietly along in amusement as his arm was dragged along a bit behind from the girl's movement.

That was how they usually roll with their days together, they were practically inseparable. A stark contrast from their first meet almost a decade ago now. Helen wished they would all stay together like this, and hopes their friendship will continue until they see gray in their hairs. . .

She still remembered during a sleepover when her two best friends snuck off into the dandelion fields that night, not knowing she was a fairly light sleeper. She couldn't help but tag along in secret, curious of what they were up to. Of course, when she realized the intimate scenery she quickly hid behind the bush, she can still hear their soft giggles as they continued gazing at the stars.

If she had to be honest, she had mixed feelings at the revelation. She knew all of their families were religious, especially her and Birgers. Sure, the recent law changes for homosexuality would favor the two, but people aren't as easy to change yet. She just quietly hopes for the two to stay happy together, and hopes their families won't find out.

When Christmas came around however, she will never forget seeing the blue boy j̸̲̫̕u̸͍̼͂̆́m̷̳͍̗͑p̷̨͉̺̖̬̓͑͌̚ḙ̴̫̄̚d̶͍̣͑͋͒ ̷̲̟͙̹̈́̃͘͝i̸̟̬̘̯͌n̶͕̱̪̂̅̆t̶͉̤̙͍̫̓̑̐o̵̺̽ ̵̥̤̇̋̂̅̕t̸̹̤͕̤͆̏̈͘͘͜h̵̤̱͈̃̿̓̕e̸̝͕̍̀̏ ̴̼̟̲͎̈́͊͠ĉ̴͍͓̊l̷̰̬̐̀ḯ̴̲̜̬̗̤̌̏͝f̷͕̬͔̍͗̀͠f̵̠̪̤̮̭͗͒͛̈́ ̷̧̠̜̯͋̈́͝b̸͇̙̼̄͋͘ͅe̶͍̟̽̏͜l̶͖̟͉̯͠ő̸̱͚͊́w̷̬̹̻͌͒̉̕,̴͔̔͝ ̸̧̘̬̗͆͒a̸̛̬̪̟͔̞̍̔͒̍ ̸̨̹̉͛͒͑͗d̷̨͙̳̟̭̓̃͌͝e̵̛̛̘̓́͘m̶͈̰̆̐ȯ̴̡͙̙̘̱́̕͝n̸̳̄ ̵̣͝s̴̻̼̞̑̑̂͛ͅi̸͔̳̓͘t̴̢̨̥̙͌ͅt̸̜̹̬̖̦͂̈́i̶͛̄̈́ͅn̴̢̫̝̠̬̂͐g̷̖̤͔͇͝ͅ ̸̙̙͚͈͖̌̌̇͛̕ő̵̻͖̭̽̈́n̶͖̙̊̓̈ ̵̨̨̪͈̒̑͂h̵̺̫͈̠̟͋̃̿͒̓ì̸͇͚̝̟̃̋͐s̸̢̙̘̳̋̀̊͂ ̵̨̼̌̓b̶̡̀̂͠ǎ̴̱̝͋̍͘č̷̙̒̇̒k̵͉̿ . . .

She jolted herself awake from her daze, nearly falling herself off of her paper filled desk. Her eyes hastily blinked away the blurriness from her vision, her hands rubbing the eyelids to quicken the process before straightening her glasses. She soon noticed her coworker friend was looking at her with a bit of worry. His accent heavy as she spoke in English.

"Is everything alright, Lenny? Are the patients being too much for you?"

It was obvious that Ludvig was worried about her. She couldn't help but give a weak but reassuring smile to him.

"Uh, kyllä- I mean yes, I'm okay. Haha, and no, the kids are doing their best, it's expected they will be. . .brash, in this line of work. It's just. . . I was just going down memory lane a bit. ."

Helen could see the coworker softening to a sympathetic look.

"Ah, jag förstår. I hope they were sweet ones?"

Her eyes squinted only just a bit before nodding.

"Yea. . .most of them at least."

She would soon stand herself up straight as she collected the necessary documents to bring to the Head Doctor.

"Sorry Luv, I need to head out soon before I do my daily check up on Berry. Would you like to have coffee together with Hans later on break?"

She received a quick nod before they give each other a wave goodbye, both of them focusing back on their work soon after.

Additional Notes:

Helen's cherry accessory is usually a headwear or an earring, a reminder of her cherished friendship she had lost.

Just like Berry, she can also see paranormal spirits and entities. A big reason her parents want her to follow their footsteps to become an exorcist.

She doesn't recognize Schatten as they don't have a fixed form. She does felt something familiar about it however.

She tends to bring packets of fruit or snacks to the children on weekends to help them get used to their psych wards and downing their medicines.

[vindicated-truth]

I'm rewatching the scene in Episode 10 where Jaeyi is having this lighthearted conversation with the Busan ahjummas, and I've always read from this scene that it's pretty clear that Jaeyi isn't into men, isn't into getting married, or possibly even both.

Granted, everything she's saying here is primarily a deflection from the curiosity of the gossiping ahjummas—she's there, after all, primarily to hide from Nam Sangbae and virtually from everyone she knows in Manyang.

If, however, everything she's saying here to the ahjummas also has a semblance of truth in it, it says a lot about her character:

Ahjumma 1: Hey, you're looking pretty in that makeup. What are you doing here? Jaeyi: I don't have any friends to hang out with. Ahjumma 2: You have no friends because you're stuck here gutting fish with these old ladies. Ahjumma 3: There are lots of great places downtown. And I hear there are plenty of stylish guys. Jaeyi: I've been there, but it wasn't that great. I didn't like anyone there, and I don't think I could get along with them. It's odd, but I feel more at ease when I'm with married women. Ahjumma 4: What good is that for? How will you get married? Jaeyi: I'll stay single and live here with you.

Again, the disclaimer here is that Jaeyi is saying all of these as a deflection to stop the ahjummas from prying more into her life, because she has secrets to keep.

If, however, all of these has a semblance of truth in it, it means that:

Jaeyi is less inclined in being into men (or at least Busan men in particular);

Jaeyi is more at ease being around women, and prefers their company over men;

Jaeyi is disinclined to get married, at least specifically to men, because legal marriage in South Korea is exclusively between heterosexual relationships, and legal homosexual marriages are an impossibility there, at least in this moment in time. Technically, even if she chooses to be in a relationship with a woman for example, she'd still be legally single.

Again, this reading is to be taken with a grain of salt because her sexuality / gender orientation / sexual preference has never been deliberately shown in the show—same as every other character, to be fair.

But if this particular scene is to be taken as having a semblance of truth, then a very simple initial conclusion that can be drawn from this: Jaeyi isn't exclusively straight.

(And isn't that fascinating, because even if Kwon Hyeok was right and Joowon was at least marginally interested in her—it's Jaeyi who very possibly wasn't interested at all in him.)

[llsaltywoundsll]

A Sticky Situation - Vampire!Nigel x Alex Forbes

Word count: ~1k

Pairing: Nigel and Alex ofcc

Description: Alex and Nigel are closer than ever now, but Nigel still continues to his certain secrets. Alex walks in on him, and catches Nigel doing something he'a never expected.

Warnings: Implied ED, blood, lemon (almost smut), Homosexuals.

Nigel has always been somewhat odd when Alex first met him. Despite the fact he was into dissecting, taxidermy, and some other creepy shit. Something odd as in he constantly looked like he craved something. Alex caught Nigel looking at his neck once, noticing the stern stare along with it, too. Despite the fact it flustered him, it also confused him. He noticed the boy always looked so dazed around him, like he was lost in a train if thought. Not only that, he also felt Nigels presence in his dorm room at night, just standing there, breathing softly, and a soft sigh before leaving. Sure, Alex liked him, in a romantic way too, but this creeped him out.

Breakfast arrived, and they served oatmeal. He saw Nigel asking for extra oatmeal — which he thought was rather insane, since he never noticed him eat his food.

"How come you never eat?" Alex asked. It's not like he hasn't asked this before, he has, many times, but Nigel never really gives him a straight answer. He just sort of looks at him weirdly.

"I'm just not hungry." Was the raven-haired boy's response, his tone cool and soft. He knew it was a lie, he could hear his stomach growl like it was begging for food.

"Stop lying. You even asked for extra." When Nigel didn't respond, Alex sighed before trying to lighten the mood. "I mean are you insane? Who asks for another scoop?"

Alex chuckled a bit before it died down. Nigel looked at him like it was sort of uncomfortable for him to handle that topic.

It was silent for a few moments before Alex cleared his throat and spoke up, "Why don't you ever tell me why you don't eat?" It was a rather simple question, and he silently prayed Nigel would answer this one.

"I just simply dont need to, Jack.."

It was always the way he said it. Jack. He loved it when it came from Nigel, but hated it when others called him it. Maybe it was because he knew the meaning behind it, or maybe it was because it came from his beloved.

"Hm." Was all Alex responded, a simple hum. Of course, this made Nigel frown.

The fact Nigel wasn't eating breakfast, lunch, or dinner, worried Alex. He worried that maybe he was starving himself, or that maybe he had an eating disorder. However, he never wanted to ask him, because he didn't want to scare Nigel away. He loved him too much. As the bells rang for the end of breakfast, he put away his tray and walked to his first period.

The day flew rather quickly like usual, class after class, and it felt like it happened in a blink of an eye. Alex was in the middle of daydreaming when the bell for the end of the day finally played. It startled him, but he gathered his books quickly and walked out, and straight to his dorm. He couldn't wait to talk to Nigel again.

He grinned, feeling himself grow giddy. However, when he opened the dorm door, he dropped his books, causing a large crash in the room.

Alex saw Nigel drinking a vial of blood. He looked at him suddenly, dropping the vial and the rest of the blood on the floor. He had only gotten a sip, and looked at him with a shocked expression.

"Alex, wait—" Nigel's sudden worried voice flustered Alex, surprisingly. It's as if knowing he was a vampire attracted him to Nigel more.

"I'm not scared, Nigel, if that's what you're going to say." He speaks smoothly, picking up his scattered books and setting them on his bed. Alex noticed the way Nigel relaxed at this.

"Can you.. help me clean this up—" Nigel began crouching down to pick up the glass shards.

Despite that, Alex's voice spoke up before he realized he was even saying it. "Are you still hungry?"

Nigel looked at Alex with a blank expression, and again glanced at his neck. "..yes. I am."

Alex blushed a bit before slowing his breathing to calm himself. He looked down at his feet before speaking up. "Are you fine with uh... Drinking off of me? Just of course don't drink too much—" Alex simply offered.

"Are you sure, Jack?" Nigel began to stand up slowly, his aura suddenly changing to something darker. He looked hungry.

"Yes. I'm sure, Nigel." Alex reassured Nigel. He felt his stomach churn a bit from anxiety, but he also felt a bit of desire deep down, too.

"..please." the freckled-boy added, his voice sounding a bit too desperate as it quivered.

Nigel took a few slow steps forward, his long strides allowing him to stand in front of Alex rather quickly. They looked at eachother, as if they were silently talking to each other. Suddenly, Nigel shoves Alex against the wall, earning a groan from him.

"Stay still." Nigel growls when Alex tries to stand up straight. He grabs his hips, and slammed him against the wall again, making sure he stays still this time.

Nigel leans in, merely inches away from Alex's soft, pale skin. He could smell the pure metallic scent of Alex's blood he so craved since he met him. The ginger could feel his warm breath against his neck, allowing his heart to race in anticipation. The desire Alex felt in the moment was surreal, squirming a bit.

"I said stay still." Nigel repeats, gripping his hips tighter — which was destined to leave bruises later.

"Yeah.. sorry" Alex mutters under his breath.

Finally, after waiting in such anticipation, Alex felt Nigel sink his teeth into his neck. He heard him moan, pulling away for a mere second to catch his breath before going back to drink his blood. Alex groans, feeling him lap up the dripping blood that eventually lightly stained his skin.

After a bit, Nigel pulls away, panting heavily as he stands straight. They made eye contact, and Alex could see the desire clouding his eyes like it was the plague. As if it was mere instinct, Alex pulls Nigel close, kissing his lips desperately. He didn't feel him react, but when Alex almost pulled away, he felt Nigel bit his lip, drawing a bit of blood. Nigel, of course, lapped it up like a thirsty dog, groaning from the sweet taste.

Nigel began kissing him once again, still keeping him pinned to the wall. After spotting a chance, Nigel slips in his tongue, humming a small moan from the euphoric feeling.

-------

[falsenote]

what is truly most joyful about this film is scenes like this. the constant gay teasing throughout the plot towards robert hossein's character hits at exactly where it should bc the source of the joke isn't the spectre of homosexuality itself but how much of a ridiculous terror he experiences each time. there are a few things to be said about this character, but it all comes down to his patriotic military persona he is trying to insist on desperately, being as much of a facade and hollow performance as his masculinity itself. it is such an absurd, hysterical dynamic when catherine spaak and tomas milian's characters spot this insecurity and annoy him about it just for the sake of it. bc spaak, to his knowledge, is supposed to be man but is really a woman all along (or is she), so when there is some sort of attraction building between them, she notices this and goes out of her way to create situations where he would have to address his attraction to her, believing himself to be gay since she is a boy, of course. these little scenes leave him so humiliated, and her, in control and amused at the situation, not bc how could he be so stupid he doesn't realize ~the truth (?), -since in this narrative we have to suspend our disbelief anyway and accept that catherine spaak is made to look in any way boyish in her appearance- but he is ridiculous bc he insists so much on a set way of seeing the world. bc her and milian's characters exist completely outside of this norm he is representing and they are the ones ridiculing *him* for clinging so much to it, it's like he's in the minority in the film's narrative. it is to be noted that when the final reveal happens and catherine spaak wears a dress instead of a uniform and tells him of being a woman and being in love w him as well, robert hossein keeps calling her as her 'boy name', theodore, even after their final kiss. it's not the person who has changed, from "man to woman" but only a dress was put on. there is also the fact to be noted here is that catherine spaak never once says, 'i will use this boy name as an alias bc circumstances demand it' she says, 'i am now theodore and i wish to be called that and be a man from now on'. it is completely insane.

^while on the note of clown behaviour and gay jokes, the tomas milian's subplot is practically that he also falls in love w catherine spaak (only bc she wears men's clothing which is so so funny and there really should be a fucking dissertation about clothes as a symbol in this film bc it is relatively so simple and yet says it all) and she does reveal to him that she is technically a woman which does not change his feelings (they said here's how bisexuality can still win) but when other, unaware characters question why he is in love w another man he simply does not correct them. why? because he is insane and also bc just as catherine spaak does w robert hossein, he literally just enjoys shocking ppl with the concept of homosexuality. and this is how you make a fun gay film.

[rosegoldenatlas]

What its like being a tntduo fan

Imagine reading a tntduo fic right? Very simple. Then the author mentions wine. Suddenly, Everyone is going batshit crazy because OMG WINE STREAM.

Or imagine how good the enemies to lovers slowburns are. With both of them hating each other with a burning passion and there's a lot of manipulation going on until one o them starts to feel guilty for using underhanded tactics to get at each other.

(Skip next paragraph if uncomfortable w/ smut n shit)

Oh and if its a spicy fic even better because then we get the slow transition from rough hatesex to wow I feel kinda bad kicking you out after all that maybe aftercare should be a thing until suddenly its soft and its not described with physical feelings by instead they're slowing don't and everything is soft because it isn't about physical she anymore but instead about being close and then there's soft fucking cuddles or something similar. I'm rambling now wow.

But this in just a tntduo thing by I feel like the ideal tntduo dynamic for slowburn is always along the lines of- enemies, enemies with benifits, this weird I don't hate you exactly but we're not friends bit, friends but the trust isn't fully there, trust building moment, friends?, fuck a small misunderstanding turned fight, friends but actually this time(also with benefits), wait actually you're on of some he first people who accepts every fucked up piece of me and not just the fake me, wait actually what if I dropped sixty billion hints that I like you but you don't get it, oh fuck it we ball, lovers!

It looks complicated when I write it down but I swear I've seen a lot of tntduo fics written this way and I love it.

Also remember the clip where cc!Wilbur said that c! Wilbur and c!Quackith didn't have any romantic involvments? Well actually mr.'they ad a psychocompetitive relationship' Quackity said that he wanted them to kiss and married you on Qsmp so fuck you also if a rivalry lasts over seven years you are no longer rivals your gay is an extremely true statement an also you bet I saw how Tommy deflate when you denied that c!Wilbur and c!Quackity were gay for each other. So actually its Quackity an Tommy against you so Tntduo is real fuck you.

And that one clip where Phil called Wilbur a homosexual on Qsmp and when Wilbur asks for an example and Phil said 'you've been flirting with Quackity since you got here' and you Didn't Even Deny It.

Thankyou for listening to my ted talk.

[olysmile]

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞?

Oh well... First of all I wanna thank my cousin for giving me the idea of today's topic.💕 I know many people might be wondering about the correct anwer of this question. Well the truth is.....THERE IS NO CORRECT OR WRONG ANSWER

Each and every person on this planet thinks and acts differently. Many people think that there are specific things that you must and mustn't do (ex. no kissing, not venting etc). That's definetly something that cannot be controlled.

On a further detail, the most asked questions about the first date are: "Where should we go?", "Who is paying?" and "Should we kiss?"

Where should we go?

There are many good options for two people to spend their first date. They could go to a fancy restaurant or for a drink, to the cinema or even a simple walk near the beach or the park of their neighborhood. For those who want to keep it romantic but also simple, a picnic or a day at a rollercoaster park is also a good idea.

Who is paying?

For many straight couples, it is said that it would be the best if the man was the one paying on the first date. And now I am here to ask: What if this date was the girl's idea? What if she was the one who asked the man out? Wouldn't it be more fair if she was the one paying?

So my opinion and recommendation is that in every first date between either heterosexuals or homosexuals, the one who should offer to pay should be the one who asked the other person out.

Should we kiss?

If the couple is getting along from the start, no one should stop them from getting closer to eachother, holding hands or even ending up kissing on the first date. Those actions don't show any kind of rush. Of course this is possible to happen only if both of them show interest and they actually feel that the moment is right and feel comfortable.

To sum up, there are not specific rules about the first date. Anyone can set it up however they want, without any hesitation or nervousness about what is really going to happen. You can all simply let it be<3

[lilac-honey]

WIP intro: saints and pearls

genre: litfic, coming of age

pov: 1st person retrospective

setting: very very small valley town in southern bc. (i hear you. ur saying “but you’ve never been to canada !!!” no. you’re right. but i feel its Vibes within me). it’s an isolated, fundamentalist christian sect founded by a prophet in the 60s who claimed to be the living word of god, succeeded by his son. the year is between 2013-16, i sense.

themes/aesthetics: god, divinity & power, devotion & worship, girlhood & motherhood, innocence, sin & corruption, desire & temptation, resurrection & rebirth, truth, lies & false prophecy. identical grey houses, the sun setting through a wire fence, girls in white dresses cycling down an empty road, mountains in the distance dusted with snow, a town with no traffic lights, screaming and hearing no echo back.

cws: christian fundamentalism, cult, deeply patriarchal society, death, implied murder, disappearance / missing person, children in implied danger.

logline: when her mother vanishes, fifteen-year-old opal returns to live with her father in the isolated religious sect she grew up in. as she tries to find the truth about her mother’s disappearance, she becomes entangled in a sinister love affair with her father’s young new wife & the struggle to succeed the sect’s ageing prophet.

literal logline: opal’s reputation era takes an unexpected turn when she comes up against siblings as weird about god as she is

synopsis & characters under the cut <3

synopsis:

When her mother disappears, fifteen-year-old Opal chooses to return to the isolated sect she and her mother fled two years prior. But when she returns to Virtue, things have changed. Her father, Franklin, has remarried to a young new convert: the alluring, saintly Neeve, whom Opal is irresistibly drawn to. What’s more, the mounting health problems of the sect’s ageing prophet are set to kickstart the race to replace him in earnest at any moment.

The family are intent on ensuring Franklin’s accession as the next prophet, and Opal suspects they know more about her mother’s disappearance than they’re telling her. There’s a simple solution: gain Neeve’s trust and use her to find out what the family are hiding—yet Neeve’s magnetic zealotry only pulls Opal in closer, and their intoxicating relationship threatens to derail Opal’s quest to expose the truth.

Meanwhile, Opal’s rebellious flirtation with Warren, Neeve’s cunning older brother and Franklin’s main rival for the prophethood, opens the door to escape from her family’s control—and the opportunity for long-awaited revenge against the man and church who terrorised her childhood.

As Opal becomes entangled in the struggle to become Virtue’s final prophet—a deadly web of plots, fanaticism, and false prophecy—she draws closer to uncovering the dark secrets she’s sought all along about her family and community. But, with disaster edging ever-closer, Opal must confront the truth about herself, and her own hunger for power: is she really any different from the people she seeks to destroy?

this is not my Best Work unfortunately bc it does not accurately capture the goals, conflict and stakes but i will not be rewriting it again actually ! sorry ! i have suffered enough !

characters:

there are too many … more than listed here and that was not my intention

opal lauritzen

15/16, narrating the story probably in her 20s although unspecified.

delighted to unveil my very own unhinged teenage girl protagonist

she’s a little bit Scary !!

morally challenged, if you will

homosexually charged rivalry with neeve

fundamentally on a silly little mission to be adored & worshipped but she’s taken on a side quest (finding out who killed her mother)

she’s so remember my name by mitski coded. she needs someone to remember her name, something bigger than the sky…how many stars will she need to hang around her before she can finally be all done, somewhere like heaven?

everyone is a means to an end for her, apart from her adopted sister, runa (aged six), her bestie. can’t hate a child.

neeve lauritzen/sloane

17/18

neeve is playing chess while everyone else plays chequers

vegetarian (this is very important to her character like … after everything eating meat is still where she draws her moral lines in the sand. and i respect that!)

actually not as evil as opal thinks she is in the beginning. she does actually want to be friends.

she plans to name her baby cinnamon or cherry or similar. maybe moon. she’s silly and goofy like that

she’s fighting demons (comphet) and losing

alicent hightower … is that you ???

warren sloane

20/21

looks so much like austin abrams in my head

if neeve is playing chess … warren is playing monopoly

Charismatic Leader. manipulation is his thing

he’s mastered the female gaze but in a bad way

college dropout for sure. that stem major was so hard he became a creationist and joined a cult

franklin lauritzen

early 40s

opal’s father

a villainous little villain if ever there was one

wants to be the next prophet-leader So Badly it’s kind of embarrassing xx

he’s like low-key an incel he really hates to see women succeed

truly needs to get a life outside of terrorising teenage girls

runa caraway

6

opal’s adopted sister and also biological cousin

really need to develop her as a character but she’s basically an infant

fundamentally she reminds opal of her childhood self, creating Guilt and Conflict

asa and calvin lauritzen

20ish & 17ish

opal’s older brothers

they really Really hate each other xx

accidentally set them up as cain and abel so i’m now going to have to follow through on that foreshadowing

father paul

late 20s

token outside world character

this random catholic priest who becomes very concerned about opal after her mother goes missing

he wants to Fix opal and she knows this and very much enjoys pretending to be a damsel in distress around him

not really sure what purpose he serves in the story apart from a nice scene in a church (with candles !!) in chapter one

he gives her his number so i think she’s going to call him every now and then for a pep-talk

i think he’s going to try to stage an intervention for her later actually

betsy

15ish

opal’s slightly unhinged school friend

true crime girlie

i can’t explain her she’s best seen in action

like when opal and runa come to stay with her family when annora disappears she’s like .. exciting !!!! do u guys want to see my if i go missing folder !!!!! let me get all the true crime twitter girlies On to this !!!!

i might make her detective dreams come true later in the story so stay tuned xx

lux

15ish

opal’s childhood best friend in virtue

now betrothed to asa, opal’s oldest brother

retired from golden sunshine new career in false prophecy

newest addition to the cast but the story holds terrible things for her i fear

ask to be added to the taglist <33

[menlove]

1 2 3 4 😈

unpopular john opinion? hmmmm lord i guess it depends on what circles i'm in bc there's smth unpopular about every john opinion i have depending on who i'm around. i guess just the one that would be most unpopular to the widest audience imaginable is that his relationship w yoko was a lot more complicated than anyone wants to talk about. like she was neither the diabolical scheming witch that hypnotized him and tortured him... but she was also not the cool girlboss wife that did no wrong. i think the truth is somewhere in the middle and falls more along the lines of that they were both Not Good to or for each other, but ofc where men like john & paul are given grace to fuck up in relationships, yoko is not bc she is a woman and a japanese woman at that. i guess that's more of a Yoko Opinion but. i mean it's john as well. their relationship was very odd and sometimes incredibly unhealthy but i don't necessarily think he was either The Victim or The Abuser. they just kind of sucked together.

unpopular paul opinion? i really really do not think he is as oblivious as people make him out to be re his sexuality/john. like obviously i'm not in his mind i can't outright make that call but the idea that he's just a straight man emotionally in love w john who Can't Understand It is so... does not ring true to me. To Me i think it more likely that if he has realized anything, there's a lot of shit he's up against. he's 1/4th of the most popular band that has ever existed and 1/2 of the remaining members. the most famous of those two members at that. he was born in the 1940s and homosexuality was still illegal for the first 25 years of his life. not only that but if he Did ever mention anything about him and john, it's not just his legacy he has to protect, but his dead best friend's whose widow is still alive & would only catch more backlash than she already has. like. it's just not a simple situation and it bothers me when people act like the Only possible reason he could be saying weird contradictory things abt his sexuality & feelings for john are bc he's straight and stupid. like sure that COULD be! but idk! i'm just not convinced.

unpopular ringo opinion? fadfasdfasf the other two are so long and these next two are gonna be so much shorter rip. but idk i'm gonna be real i avoid thinking about ringo bc i think out of the 4 of them he's the one i'm most uncomfortable interacting with in a fannish way. especially bc he is still alive and (at least according to people i know that've met him) still kind of an asshole. ofc as a john girlie i have 0 room for judgment here i really don't care one way or another how people interact w him and his legacy i just, myself, tend to avoid it. which i guess is an unpopular opinion in of itself. just will never forget about him beating his first wife so badly she couldn't walk. like. that's so fucked. and like i said ik it's hypocritical but that's why i just Avoid The Ringo Discussion.

unpopular george opinion? idek that i HAVE an unpopular george opinion tbh....... he was the coolest one out of all of them though, bar none. he could walk circles around john & paul when it came to his guitar playing and while my guitar gently weeps is one of the best guitar songs of all time. UH i guess the only unpopular one i have is all things must pass is not a favorite album of mine like it's got some gold on it but overall i'm not listening to it on repeat

controversial beatles asks

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Andrew Doyle asks: Remember when the pride flag made sense?

Remember when the pride flag made sense?

It was designed by an American Artist called Gilbert Baker in 1978. It was originally an eight-stripe rainbow but was soon refined into the six-striped version that was the norm for many decades.

At a time when gay people couldn't hold hands with their partners on the street, this flag served a useful purpose. It meant that you could easily find gay pubs or other places where no one had to pretend to be something they weren't. The rainbow symbol was a simple and effective concept that conveyed positivity and unity.

And then some activists came along and said hang on a minute, why are there no black or brown stripes in the rainbow flag? See, for some reason they were under the impression that the gay flag was a literal representation of the range of skin colors that are acceptable in the community. And so we got this.

Okay then, I mean, well, there weren't any white stripes in the original one either. But most people understood that it was symbolic with that we were all included already, irrespective of our race.

But then after this, trans activists came along and said, why aren't we in there? So we got this one. And this was the chevron with the pink white and blue, which was based on the trans flag.

But surely this eyesore couldn't get any worse, could it? Well, it could, because activists were then concerned that it was excluding intersex people, so they added this symbol.

Okay, it's getting a bit out of control now. But then last year, some bright spark added a red umbrella to represent sex workers.

Now, if you thought this was getting out of hand, last year then we had Microsoft. They designed a new version to incorporate all the other multiple sexualities and genders that have been invented over the past few years. Let's have a look at that.

I mean, what the hell is it? It looks like a space ship going at warp speed through a Care Bear's bum hole.

Identity politics in its current form is an ever expanding beast. Pride used to be just one day. Then it was a month. And now Pride events have been scheduled all the way from March through to September. As one sign in a shoe shop pointed out Pride never stops. If only it would.

The initialism as well that's expanded too. First we had LGB, and then it became LGBT, then LGBTQ, then LGBTQIA. The Canadian government currently favors 2SLGBTQIA+, although even its prime minister finds that a bit of a mouthful.

Similarly, Pride started out as an important protest against injustice. When the original Pride March took place in London in 1972, homosexuality had only been legal for five years, and the prospect of gay marriage or even an equal age of consent, seemed impossible. Only 2000 people turned up to these protests.

But by contrast, the Pride parade in London in 2022 attracted over a million. And of course, most of those people aren't even gay. It's become a family day out, a huge party.

And what's so wrong with that, you might ask. And that's a fair question. If people are celebrating and having a good time, that's great. Except that's not necessarily what's going. Increasingly, gay people no longer feel welcome at Pride. I spoke to a representative from a lesbian group on this show last year who had been moved along by police when trying to protest at Pride. But isn't Pride meant to be a protest, not a party? What's going on?

The answer is that pride has been hijacked not once but twice.

First by avaricious multi-billion dollar corporations who are able to pose as virtuous by posting the pride flag. Only, they don't do it in the branches in countries where homosexuality is still illegal. After all, you wouldn't want to fly the flag anywhere which might actually make a difference.

I'm old enough to remember that corporations were certainly not celebrating Pride quite so openly before section 28 was repealed in 2003, or before the age of consent was equalized in 2001, or before the decriminalization of homosexuality in Scotland in 1980. So, these corporations' commitment to LGBT rights apparently only manifests itself when it's likely to make them a profit.

And then there's the second hijacking. See, whereas the original Pride was about agitating for equal rights for gay people, it's now been taken over by activists who are obsessed with group identity and who believe that gender is more important than sex.

That's why the British library, to celebrate the advent of pride month this week, posted a thread on Twitter about the sex life of fish, and how some species have been known to change from male to female.

I mean, what's that got to do with Pride? Why have Librarians seemingly forgotten that human beings aren't the same as fish? Now, they've since deleted those tweets, because well, you know they're bonkers. And although we might laugh at that kind of nonsense, the ideology it promotes is actually rather sinister, particularly for gay people.

See, in her book, "Time to Think" by Hannah Barnes, she found that between 80 and 90% of adolescents referred to the Tavistock pediatric gender clinic were same-sex attracted. Studies have long confirmed a correlation between gender non-conformity in youth, and homosexuality in later life. At the Tavistock, staff used to joke that "soon there would be no gay people left." Somehow the medicalization and sterilization of gay people has been reframed as progressive.

Even Stonewall, the UK's foremost LGBT charity has redefined the word "homosexual" on its website and promotional materials to mean "same gender attracted." Its CEO, Nancy Kelly, has claimed that women who exclude trans people from their dating pool are akin to sexual racists. There's been an intense resurgence of old homophobic tropes online from gender ideologues that believe that "genital preferences are transphobic" and that lesbians who don't include men in their dating pool must be suffering from trauma.

Gay rights were secured by recognizing that a minority of people are instinctively attracted to members of their own sex. And the new ideology of gender identity rejects this notion entirely, and actively shames gay people for their orientation.

So, when you see this flag, try to understand that many gay people consider it to be a symbol of opposition to gay rights, Women who are concerned about their rights consider it a symbol of misogyny, because it promotes an ideology that denies the reality of sex-based oppression, and yet most people, gay people included, haven't even noticed this transition from the pro-gay rainbow flag to this anti-gay imposter.

And that's because it all happened so quickly, and activists are playing on good intentions of a public who don't want to be seen to be on the wrong side of history. Well, I would suggest that upholding the rights of women and gay people and protecting gender non-conforming children and opposing the hypocrisy of corporations is the truly progressive approach.

Anyone who spends any time on social media would have seen that homophobia is clearly on the rise. It's coming from the reactionary elements of the right, who are now holding gay people responsible for sexualized drag shows for children, and the proliferation of sexually explicit books in school libraries. But of course, they've fallen for the trick. This isn't gay people. That's gender ideologues who've convinced everyone that the LGBTQIA+ movement is one big happy family, when it isn't.

And we know this because homophobia is also on the rise among gender ideologues themselves, who frequently go online to tell gay people to kill themselves. Some of them have said that they celebrate AIDS as a good thing. And this isn't just a few mad activists, there are thousands of examples of this if you've got the stomach to look them up.

So whether it's coming from those who consider themselves right wing or left-wing, anti-gay sentiments are back in fashion. And the best way to combat this is to remind everyone that that Progress Pride flag, and the corporate orgy that accompanies it, is not in the interests of gay people.

And if it's too late to reclaim the original Pride flag, we can at least ditch the new one.

[aranarumei]

hi kiri What’s the deal with a3’s timeloop day. you shouldn’t be surprised that I am asking this. okay I love you bye

ok this is actually a pretty simple answer! but i got rambly so here's a readmore.

A3! (which stands for Act! Addict! Actors! <- don’t ask me why it’s this. idk) is a gacha game where you play as the manager, Izumi Tachibana (I’m doing first name, last name here) and you work to revive a dying theater company called Mankai. there’s 3 Acts, each with like, 4 big stories in them. and a bunchhhh of shorter event storiess which imo are crucial to experience. The first 2 acts, along with the interceding events, have been completely localized, and were run on the now-defunct English server. There is, however, an archive—if at any point in time you are ever interested, feel free to shoot me a message. And I’m serious. Even if it’s like two years later. It’s been like almost 3 years since I started going thru a3 and I haven’t even finished act 2. I’m slow

Anyways, Act 1 deals with establishing the company—in its former glory, there used to be four troupes that rotated by season. Izumi’s dad also used to run it, and he disappeared. So that’s why there’s four big stories each act: it’s one per season. In Act 1, each story deals with gathering the members for each season troupe together, and then pulling off their first play. And it also deals with like, the issues all the characters are facing. It is like, within the yumejoshi genre so there’s definitely that vibe of like. wow look at all these pretty boys who are kind of into me!? but I think it’s pretty mild on that point and like. something I enjoy is that I can see Izumi as like. an actual Character as opposed to just a self-insert. Which is nice. but the real selling point for me is that there’s a lot of like, found family and rich character dynamics within the cast. It is even homosexual sometimes.

One thing I find really interesting about a3 is that I think it has really strong character writing and development. And it’s really good at establishing different “moods” across each troupe, which works well in creating dynamics and also because each troupe specializes in something different. So spring is like, the “classic” troupe—they tend to do lots of reinterpretations of classic works, though that’s not exclusively their thing… but anyways. they do like. nice fantastical stories in my opinion. Summer does comedy, autumn does action, and winter does drama. and winter HAS drama.

Now up until winter there’s been some wackiness in a3 but it’s been like, pretty grounded in how it’s played out. and then winter rolls around and. see the issue with winter is that unlike some of the younger members they’re all composed of adults. so they’re bad at talking about their feelings, because instead of just shouting things out loud they will just shut down and like. Leave. I love this about them and I think it’s such a good writing choice.

Enter Tasuku Takato and Tsumugi Tsukioka. Tasuku and Tsumugi used to be like, the best of friends. they acted together and followed their passions together. and then they both auditioned for the God Troupe together, which is this prestigious famous troupe (it’s also evil.) and while tasuku got in and became one of the lead actors, tsumugi failed his audition. This left a deep scar on Tsumugi, who ended up kind of running away from acting as a vocation all together. now, Tasuku quit the God troupe because they were engaging in some shady stuff, and ended up joining Mankai along with Tsumugi, who coincidentally was inspired to try acting again. tsumugi’s been elected the leader of winter troupe, and therefore the person who’s meant to take the lead role in their first play. Tasuku is constantly snapping at him whenever he’s unconfident, and it’s just not great vibes. To top it all off, they’ve been issued a challenge by the God troupe, where they’ll both perform and the audience has to vote on which play they like better. Tsumugi is not really confident he can stand up to them for obvious reasons. Tasuku gets mad at him about it. Tsumugi runs into this weird doll, and the next day, they wake up in a time loop.

See, the thing is, they’re on such a tight deadline for the play, and winter is So Bad at talking about their feelings, that magic is real now. this is somewhat of an oversimplification, but it’s funny to say it like this. Anyways, there are like, seven mysteries in Mankai (have I mentioned they all dorm together! they all do! Each of them has a roommate and they all live in a big dorm that’s connected to their own theater and stage. It’s part of why they’re in such big debt and trouble at the beginning—its really hard to maintain those facilities) and one of them is about this doll that will put you in a time loop unless you become friends. essentially. And this is what happens… eventually they end up talking to each other for real due to the time loop, and each affirms just how much they respect the acting of the other. later on when Tsumugi slips back into being unconfident tasuku is able to resolve his past mistakes, because part of why he was so angry at Tsumugi was also because he was angry at himself for like. not reaching out. And telling him how much he loved him and his acting. Because their styles are very different—tasuku is loud and commanding, and Tsumugi is a more understated and subtle.

A3 is also very very cool in that parts of its plays mirror real life? so like. this play, sympathy for an angel, has two leads: Michael (Tsumugi) and Raphael (Tasuku). In it, Michael becomes interested in this woman on a list of people who are about to die, and ends up visiting the human world. He writes letters to her. His friend, Raphael, warns him against this, saying that he’s foolish for going so far for someone he can’t even meet. And each time he steps into the human world, his own soul gets weaker, and his wings begin to wither. Still, he persists against objections. Eventually, the woman recovers, gets a fiancé, and he returns to heaven. Thinking he’ll just wish for her happiness even with his unrequited love, he looks at the list and finds out that despite recovering, she’s still on the close to death list. Despite the danger to himself, he descends into the human world, and takes her place in a car accident. As he’s dying, his soul about to be obliterated because he’s been in the human world too often, Raphael descends and holds him in his arms. Michael says that he’s happy he got to do something for the person he loves, and he’s happy to be held by his best friend. Raphael says that though he’d called Michael the fool, it was him that truly was one: because he stood by, unable to protect both the person he loves and his best friend. Because he was in love with Michael the whole time of course. And then Michael dies in his arms. Now this makes me weepy as does the accompanying character song but what I really love most about it is like. Raphael’s regrets in that he didn’t protect Michael kind of directly mirror Tasuku’s own regrets in being unable to help Tsumugi when he was going through a tough time? only Tsumugi isn’t dead and so Tasuku has an actual chance to fix things, which is sweet.

It should be mentioned that one guy in the spring troupe WRITES all of these plays which is deeply funny to me bc it means that 1) he is probably gay and doesn’t know this and 2) he has precognitive abilities regarding the inner psyche of all of his castmates. and that’s a3 timeloop day. some of these a3 characters have me by the throat btw I just get beamed visions of them chatting and introspecting like constantly. I definitely haven’t explained everything but I think this is enough?

[ailous-arts]

I strongly believe that Courtney is not a comphet lesbian, or even a lesbian at all.

It’s something that I have thought about for a long time. A lot of people claim her to be one, but by her actions, it is so obvious that she is not (this post isn’t to bash anyone who believes this, of course).

Firstly, using the original source of the term “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence” by Adrienne Rich, compulsory heterosexuality in short (to my understanding) is something that the patriarchy and capitalism forces upon women. That from birth, society pushes heterosexual as the normal to benefit men and their needs.

“Women have married because it was necessary, in order to survive economically, in order to have children who would not suffer economic deprivation or social ostracism, in order to remain respectable, in order to do what was expected of women because coming out of "abnormal" childhoods they wanted to feel "normal," and because heterosexual romance has been represented as the great female adventure, duty, and fulfillment. We may faithfully or ambivalently have obeyed the institution, but our feelings - and our sensuality - have not been tamed or contained within it.”

“But whatever its origins, when we look hard and clearly at the extent and elaboration of measures designed to keep women within a male sexual purlieu, it becomes an inescapable question whether the issue we have to address as feminists is not simple "gender inequality," nor the domination of culture by males, nor mere "taboos against homosexuality," but the enforcement of heterosexuality for women as a means of assuring male right of physical, economical, and emotional access.”

Whether you agree with Adrienne Rich or not, this is the definition we must base Courtney’s sexuality on.

So why isn’t Courtney a comphet lesbian? As what I stated earlier, her actions to me do not seem like something a person would do to make themselves like/love someone. Try putting yourself in Courtney’s shoes. If you were a lesbian or gay, and by the pressure of society, you were forcing yourself to love someone of the opposite sex, would you really take the time to collect multiple photos of the one you’re forcing yourself to love and collage them onto your desktop screensaver? Would you really sit there alone and stare at the screen and mutter their name for god knows how long? (Take note, that those photos are ones of Maxie “through the decades”, meaning that they might not be recent ones/ones that she took. Would you really take the time to hunt down baby pictures of someone you had no real and natural attraction to??)

(Original video link here)

“Courtney is a former scientist. She is known to have a brilliant mind, and she adores Maxie.”

I think it’s interesting that the word “adores” was used on the website for her character summary, too. Adore being defined as to love and respect (someone) deeply. I acknowledge that Courtney’s crush on Maxie is not actually confirmed and is slightly in the air, but this quote, along with her actions and the quote from the grunt in the demo “I totally know how she feels...” imply that her love for him is more romantic than platonic.

If one believed that Courtney’s love for him was platonic and not romantic, and that they truly think she’s a comphet lesbian, they would be just as right as I, but in the end, I do think Courtney’s adoration for him is out of romantic love. It’s just sad that she fell in love with the biggest homo on Earth.