#it's probably Hal or Barry that asks

[silverwolf1249]

So I recently saw a couple posts that say that Bruce would have a heavy Jersey accent. I'm not saying I disagree with them, but also I'm disagreeing with them. Bruce not only grew up with a British butler and in high society, this man also travelled for several years around the world and learned multiple languages and accents. He also works plenty of other people around the country and the world who all have their own accents.

There's not a single chance that this man has a Jersey accent(of which there is more than one kind) unless he is actively trying to use one. Oh he sure still has an accent he uses as Batman(for Brucie I'd imagine he'd mostly use some kind of posh north east upper class accent with maybe a hint of Philly or NYC), but not one that anyone could pinpoint to any specific location or dialect because it's just kind of a mix between all of the accents he knows. Hell, he might even just switch through accents depending on what accent(s) the people around him are using, like through code switching/mirroring.

He does however, get extremely annoyed whenever he meets someone as Batman and they ask him why he doesn't have a Jersey accent, usually followed by someone saying "Joisey" or "I'm walkin' here!". He probably just glares at them until they back off, idk.

[danothan]

oops i meant headcanons for dc (😨)

[ask game]

😨: fear-themed headcanon

idk if you had a specific character in mind for this, but i’ll default to barry + hal as per uzhe ^__^

a lot of ppl have played around w the fun contrast of barry’s fear of heights and hal’s flight powers/passion for flying planes, either by having hal tease him abt it when he has to fly them somewhere or by helping him thru his fears as his trusted emotional support. and while barry’s thoughts on hal’s interests/abilities range from supportive to admiration to confused acceptance, we also know that he views it as smth reckless and completely beyond him

going off of that, i think their dynamic should have the inverse as well

while flying is hal’s expertise, forensic science is barry’s, and it would be just so delightful if hal was squeamish over the bodies and crime scenes that barry’s completely used to. he even seems fascinated by them, which only befuddles hal even more (now he knows how barry feels!)

obviously, hal is very familiar w death, both of others and his own, but alien/monster gore (which is what he’s more often surrounded by) is different. ofc death of any creature is disturbing to witness, but there’s a certain level of unmatched horror in seeing smth that resembles you, a reflection of your humanity, in a state of death. and while hal is used to violence, it’s the aftermath of it that rly fucks him up

there’s smth abt how he never got to see either of his parents’ bodies when they died that i think should deeply affect him. we get a glimpse of that in knight terrors, and i’d like to believe that it extends to dead bodies in general. it’s real in a way he never learned how to confront

now, i don’t think barry knows abt all this, i’m not even sure hal is consciously aware of it himself. i mean it’s pretty normal to not like seeing dead bodies, that’s kinda the societal default. barry’s the weird one for choosing a job that keeps him surrounded by corpses 24/7, voluntarily working overtime, talking to the bodies when he’s alone, etc. hal probably thinks this makes his whole reckless flying obsession seem normal in comparison. but you know what they say, one man’s passion is another man’s worst fears !

[toytle]

don’t sweat it bro 💦

i imagine that this was early into their friendship, so barry wasn’t used to hal’s… sense of humor

[ID in alt + readmore]

Panel 1: Hal is grabbing a deodorant out of his locker, his GL suit disappearing in a band of green light to reveal civilian clothes. Barry, in full Flash garb, opens up his own locker, and Hal tries to make small talk: “You probably go through deodorant like crazy, huh.”

Panel 2: From the POV of the lockers, Barry pulls back his cowl and says: “Eh. It actually takes a lot for me to work up a sweat.” The band of green light continues to dematerialize Hal’s GL suit, but his mask remains. Putting on deodorant, Hal responds: “Really? I guess that makes sense. High speed, high stamina.”

Panel 2: From the POV of the lockers, Barry pulls back his cowl and says: “Eh. It actually takes a lot for me to work up a sweat.” The band of green light continues to dematerialize Hal’s GL suit, but his mask remains. Putting on deodorant, Hal responds: “Really? I guess that makes sense. High speed, high stamina.”

Panel 3: Hal caps his deodorant when he suddenly lights up, an idea popping into his head in the form of a lightbulb.

Panel 3: Hal caps his deodorant when he suddenly lights up, an idea popping into his head in the form of a lightbulb.

Panel 4: Hal nods in Barry’s direction and says with a playful grin: “I bet girls love it.”

Panel 5: Barry leans back to look at Hal and, as if he isn’t sure he heard correctly, asks: “What?” Hal’s face is partially obscured off-screen, hidden in shadow and his locker door, keeping a small grin to himself.

Panel 6: Hal drags it out: “I’m just saying…” He puts a hand on the locker door, his mask beginning to dissipate. “Girls like a guy that can last…”

Panel 7: Shutting the locker door, Hal turns his head towards Barry and gives him a suggestive smile. “…and it’s not just girls.” The last of his mask evaporates, framing the corner of his eye with a sparkle.

Part 8: Barry is taken aback, red in the face and sweating profusely. A lightning bolt strikes the back of the panel like a spiking heart rate as question marks surround him.

Panel 9: Hal grins delightedly, hands in his pockets all casual like his little joke didn’t give Barry a mini-heart attack: “Ha! Guess it doesn’t take much after all!” Barry’s expression is unreadable under his blush, but his shoulders are drawn up and hunched in defeat. He responds in a wordless ellipsis, but the sweating speaks for itself.

[dcxdpdabbles]

Bruce: What do you do if you wake up to one of your wards standing over your sleeping body, checking your heart rate while holding an Anti-creep stick?

Barry: Im going to take a wild guess here and ask: Was that Danny?

Bruce: Yes! He wanted to make sure I wasn't a vampire.

Clark: Where was Dick?

Bruce: Digging a hole.

Diana: Why was he digging a hole?

Bruce: In case I turned out to be a vampire, they needed somewhere to hide the body after Danny killed me.

Hal: Spooky, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I think those kids you took in are a danger to the public.

Bruce: They're good kids! Dick is just going through a lot with his parents being killed in front of him and Danny.....well, Danny escaped a lab that his parents sold him off to. Both of them are having some trust issues right now and are acting out. That's all.

Clark: Bruce, last week Danny broke into my apartment and held me at knife point demanding to know what my intentions were with you. He wouldn't accept that we're coworkers.

Bruce: He probably thought you were a vampire. Danny doesn't like those.

Hal: Didn't Dick break into your house too Barry?

Barry: Yeah, but that was more so he could cuddle with Wally then to make threats at me. Danny, on the other hand, showed up at three am. after rumors about Batman and Flash sleeping together went around. He threatened to cut the muscles in my legs so I could be " The fastest crawler in the world" if I didn't offer Bruce a ring by morning.

Bruce: Why is this the first I'm hearing about that?

Barry: *shrug* I figured you knew since the next day you showed up and apologize for the boy's behavior.

Bruce: I did not know. I was apologizing for him breaking into what I assumed was to see Wally while grounded like Dick. Great, now the boy is going to kill me in my sleep and/or ensure I never get a lover again.

Diana: I think it's rather sweet. Danny is placing a challenge for your would-be suitors. It's like a wolf pup attempting to scare away mates from his father. No real harm was done.

J'onn: He set me on fire.

Bruce: What? Why?

J'onn: Apparently, my eyes were on your back for too long. I was admiring your cape, but Danny believed my eyes were focused too low, and I was instead admiring your bottom. Dick threw glitter in my eyes a few hours later.

Bruce: *sigh* Danny is overly protective, and Dick does whatever his big brother tells him to. I don't know what to do anymore.

Oliver: Tell him you're a vampire but like a sluty one that feeds on lust instead of blood. He'll get scared and leave your dates alone.

Bruce: That's an incubus. What you just describe is an incubus. Also, that's a terrible plan. I would be in a hole so fast.

Hal: Yeah, but they would cry while they buried you so there's that at least

[olailamajnoon]

Bruce pulled off his sweaty shirt in Ma Kent's kitchen along with Clark and Hal, and began chugging a lemonade. The three men had been doing something that apparently constituted hard manual labor in the barn. Zatanna watched silently, then she noticed it.

A tattoo on Bruce's abs. Some foreign symbols engraved in calligraphic form.

It was possible the world was coming to an end.

She turned her head to try and read it. It was Kryptonian, if she had to take a guess.

Bruce noticed where her gaze was. "My eyes are up here," he said.

"I know," said Zatanna, rolling hers. "I just...since when do you have a tattoo?"

"Since I lost a bet to my kids," said Bruce.

"You let your kids do this to you?" Zatanna was incredulous.

"It's been five years, Zee," said Clark. "Are you seriously noticing it now?"

"Well, I don't make a habit of staring at Bruce's nude form," she replied, her sentence heavy with implication.

Clark blushed and dropped his spectacles.

"What's next," said Zatanna bitterly to Bruce. "I find out you're part of a biker gang?"

"You don't become a biker with just one tattoo," said Hal. "You need an entire sleeve of them."

"Don't give him any ideas," Zatanna cautioned.

"You're overreacting," said Clark.

"The world is in a delicate state of balance," said Zatanna. "The very foundations of my existence are being rocked. I'm questioning everything I've ever known."

"I should probably start paying rent for all the space I occupy in your head," said Bruce.

"The tattoo is actually a very sweet phrase," said Clark. "In Kryptonian."

"What does it mean?"

Bruce cleared his throat and shook his head warningly at Clark. Clark grinned.

"It means," Clark said, "My soul is in two halves, and one of them belongs to you."

Bruce buried his head in his hands. Clark laughed. "Like I said. A very sweet phrase."

"You're going to suffer for this," muttered Bruce to him. "I was okay with it, as long as no one knew what it fucking meant."

"Oh stop," said Hal, grinning without shame. "Stop with the toxic masculinity. Just because you have a soppy declaration of love on your abdomen doesn't make you any less of a man." He raised his glass to Bruce in a toast.

Bruce looked at him levelly, and narrowed his eyes. "One of these days, Jordan," he growled, "you will do something, and on that day—"

"Oh, I doubt it," Hal smirked. "I think you've set the bar pretty high."

"Well," said Clark, with a cheeky grin, "Bruce learned his lesson about betting against all of his kids simultaneously, but I would say the punishment was a bit disproportionate to the crime."

Bruce was putting on his t-shirt. "Enough," he said. "No one else finds out, or I will see that you all pay."

"No one else finds out what?" asked Diana from the kitchen door, where she had evidently just arrived. Her arms were crossed against her chest. Barry and Oliver were lined up behind her, with curious expressions.

Zatanna and Hal laughed maliciously. Clark did not look displeased in the slightest.

Bruce's mouth hardened and he stalked off, muttering something about contingency plans. But no one saw the small smile that tucked itself into the corner of his mouth afterwards, when he remembered Clark's face.

Kryptonians. His fingers brushed over the tattoo. And all the ways they love to claim you.

[deadsetobsessions]

Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt.3

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.7] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]

“Aquaman.” Batman swept into the room, beelining straight for the suddenly apprehensive Atlantean king.

“Batman. What can I do for you?”

“Phantom. Does he pay taxes?”

“Pardon?”

Batman makes a low noise that had Aquaman’s danger senses buzzing.

“Does Phantom have to pay taxes. Towards Atlantis.”

“No…? Why?”

“He wanted money, in exchange for… information, of a delicate sort,” Batman said, diplomatically avoiding the topic of Phantom bargaining for the identities of corpses in exchange for a measly $100 dollars per identity. Like a flea market dealer, that one was.

“You encountered Phantom again?” Aquaman perked up.

“Yes. Gotham’s bay is… polluted.” Batman paused. “With victims. Of murder.”

The entire area quieted as heads turned towards the Dark Knight.

“Yes, I am… distantly aware of Gotham’s waters.” By that, Aquaman gets green around the gills whenever he turns his awareness in that direction. There’s a reason he doesn’t enter Gotham, and the Dark Knight’s ban is only half of that reason. “Ah, but you’re correct. For what purpose would Phantom need mortal currency?”

“Hn.”

“Maybe he needs some stuff?” Flash zipped to a stop next to Batman, feet tapping as he dug into the pile of snacks cradled in his arms. “Us mortals are always coming up with new things, maybe he wants to try some games or something?”

Batman tilted his head down, seriously considering Flash’s suggestion. “It’s plausible.”

“Barry, Barry, Barry. He’s old as hell, right? He probably wants to try the new booze!”

“Hal, my man!” Flash fist bumped Green Lantern, who came up. “You’re back! What happened to John?”

“Dunno. He got called somewhere that way,” Green Lantern waved a vague hand towards the left. “Had to deal with a politician or something from that area.” He shrugged, swinging an arm over Barry’s shoulders to put him in a headlock and stealing a chip.

“Huh. Anyways, would our mortal alcohol even work on a demi-god or something?”

“We should ask!” Hal turned towards Batman. “You should ask if he wants to go for a drink, spooky!”

“He’s a child.”

“He’s been around for more than a millennia, Bats.”

“Informational gathering, right, Hal?” Flashgot out of the headlock, quickly munching on his snacks to stop Green Lantern from stealing them.

“Totally. Yup.”

“…Fine.”

“Wait, are we just gonna ignore that Gotham’s waters are full of bodies?”

“Yes.”

——

“What?” Danny asked, mind half on the bags he’s dragging out of the water and the other half on the essay he has to submit in about four hours.

“Green Lantern wanted to invite you out for a drink.”

Danny turned to the stoic Gotham knight, who had his wrist computer out to log the bodies’ info the moment Danny gave him the information. Some of them even told Danny who murdered them, so Batman could start building cases with solid leads.

Danny’s only twenty. He’s not legal yet but he doesn’t want to give any clues to who he is. How is he supposed to…

Ah!

“Can’t.” Danny shrugged. “I’m not legal. I died when I was fourteen so…” Danny trailed off, speechless at the drowned puppy face Batman was giving him. What the fuck.

“Anyways, fork over my payment.”

Batman wordlessly hands him a wad of hundreds.

“What do you need cash for?” Batman suddenly asked.

“Huh? Isn’t it obvious?” Danny tucked it in. “Material things, obviously. I need a blanket,” because holy shit, Gotham is damn cold this time of year. “Anyways, see you same time next week, litterer.”

“I don’t litter.”

“Tell that to the batarangs I found under the water,” Danny grumbled. “But I’ll stop calling you that if you get a signature from Poison Ivy. I have a friend who loves her.”

“An alive friend?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weatherboy?”

Danny snickered and disappeared. He’s gotta cram that essay.

——

“There’s a possibility Phantom might be homeless.”

“Batman, I mean this in the nicest way, but for the love of Atlantis, please stop giving me headaches. It’s time like these I wish I stayed a lighthouse keeper.”

[nightingale-prompts]

Overworked- DCxDP prompt

The knight led the group of selected heroes into the throne room. Sitting before a crowd of his people was none other than the ghost king.

"Do not test His Majesty, his mood his well this day. Say only what is necessary." The knight warned before stepping aside.

The kind wasn't what Constantine had mentioned. He was young and rather small for the throne he now sits on. The green flaming crown was unmistakable though.

The young man glared at them with intense animosity, his upper lip curled as he held back a reflexive snarl. Sharp canines peeked out just for a moment as he schooled his expression.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" The kind said drumming his fingers on the armrest of his chair. His black claws each clicking aginst the cold metal.

The group had been briefed on the situation by Constantine after they were summoning to this realm.

The short and sweet was that they were being mandated to appear before the king of the infinite realms for a long list of violations against the order of the universe. The current group contains Bruce, Clark, Wally, Kon, Jason, Hal, Barry, and Damian. Constantine himself will also be there but he already knows that this tribunal will have multiple groups.

The group reamined mostly silent.

"Where you not read your list of crimes?" The boy asked this time.

An attendant scurried through the crowd with a large scroll in hand before the king immediately waved him off tp return to his post.

"No, lets skip the reading. It would take cycles to get through the charges. Let me be brief. You have all been found guilty of charges of resurrection, time traveling, timeline manipulation, Planetary rearranging courtesy of Mr.Kent here, Interdimensional universe travel, and UNIVERSE MELDING! THE LIST GOES ON!" The king became more irate with every charge. "Tell me why I shouldn't banish you to an empty dimension right this instance."

Constantine knew this was all politics at the end of the day. This whole thing could be smoothed over with the right words by the right person.

"We are human." Bruce said firmly before anyone could stop him. Jason held back a groan of agitation.

"...So you are. What does that have to do with anything?" He boy asked.

"Isn't it natural for us to want to live and do whatever we can to keep living?" Bruce responded

Murmurs erupted amongst the crowd of onlookers.

"So what? Do you think you are the exception then? Look around heroes. This room is full of ghosts who would also have done to keep living. My people couldn't avoid death but they accepted it. What can I say to them if I let you go while they paid their price? How fair would that be?" The king condemned.

The murmurs turned into cheers for their king's words. It was unfair. Why do they get to do what they want without repercussions when they died without even getting the option to live?

"If it counts for anything many of us died to protect as many people as possible," Hal said.

"Well, good for you. How much was that sacrifice worth in the face of your resurrection? That probably doesn't feel cheap at all." The king said sarcastically. "I suppose that goes for most of you."

"I have an objection. Resurrection is not a choice if someone chooses to bring us back we don't get a say. By default we shouldn't be charged for it." Jason argued.

The king paused and raised a hand silencing the crowd.

"Hmmm, I suppose you are correct. Fine, I will strike it from the record." The kind relented.

The heroes had finally found an in. If they could argue their charges down they could leave.

"None of use have willingly time traveled. Hell i hated it. Being lost in time was not a chose we made." Wally said as Barry nodded along.

The king bit the inside of his cheek as he pondered the response.

"I suppose I can overlook it."

"Let me just say that any melding of the universe happened as a consequence of our battle with Darkside." Clark said getting rid of their their biggest charge.

"Darkside?" The king narrowed his eyes.

A courtier stepped forward and leaned down to whisper into the boy king's ear.

"I see. He will be added to the ledger for his crimes. His trial will not be as forgiving as yours. You will not be seeing him again." The boy silently signaled to the knight who bowed and exited with a group of others.

The boy sighed and stood up.

"Follow me."

The group was led down a long corridor to an office with stacks of paperwork from floor to ceiling lining the walls.

"Welcome to my personal hell." The king announced.

Constantine whistled at the sheer number of documents scattered across the room.

"Sorry about the whole court thing. I don't really want to do it but I kind of have to. The Observers demand some kind of punishment for violations. Also, you need to understand that your actions are kept track of and you can't escape it. When you break the rule I have to do the paperwork. AND I HATE PAPERWORK. So here is the deal. You guys bring me the people that have done worse than you on this list and I'll call it square. And if you don't I take everyone's souls." The King handed the scroll to Bruce. "I want the Al Ghul clan first."

"Wait but my-" Damian spoke out but was cut off by the King's raised hand to silance him.

"It is irrelevant to me what your personal issues are. Every violator will be judged for their crimes. If they can give me a good plea then they can return. Consider yourself lucky that you're too young for a full sentencing. As for the rest just do what I say and make up for your crimes. This is a mercy so don't complain."

It was clear that the moody young king wasn't going to argue. It was best to keep quiet and before they knew it the group was sent back to earth.

"You have no idea how lucky we got," Constantine said lighting up a cigarette and leaving to get a drink.

[earlgreylatte]

How long they last in n.n.n

Hal Jordan: Thirty days.

Everyone thought he would immediately lose. Barry and Ollie were confident he would be the first one out, knowing that if there was one thing on Hal’s mind, it was sex. But what they didn’t consider was Hal’s capacity to endure all kinds of torture. As a Green Lantern, he’s been off world for months on end, sometimes with a teammate, unable to find the time or privacy to rub one out. Which of course had led to long hours of him bending you over every surface of your apartment to make up for lost time the moment he’s off duty.

Maybe his pride as a lantern was challenged, or maybe he just wanted bragging rights, either way he was in it to win it.

Hal seemed weirdly well adjusted throughout the month, more than usual. He was logging in more hours at Ferris, reading the books you recommended, and he had a certain pep in his step matched with an easy smile. Surely this was the result of low blood circulation?

By the second week, Oliver was sending you a grand every day to sabotage Hal, getting increasingly frustrated that the latter wasn’t folding. He probably thought you wanted to support Hal, but you were trying, damn it! Sundresses, oversized t-shirts, and even wearing nothing but his aviator jacket hadn’t managed to break him! The most he would do is eat you out until you were shaking from overstimulation, before wrapping himself around you, ignoring the obvious tent in his pants.

Maybe your pride was a bit wounded.

It isn’t until the midnight following November 30th, with his victory earned, that he finally let loose, rousing you from your sleep to enter you with a strangled moan, thrusting into you desperately, while groaning into your neck about how you won’t be walking for the next week, trying to seduce him like that, you fucking minx, and he wasn’t stopping until he emptied every last drop into you.

Barry Allen: One day.

He got roped into participating by Hal who made one too many ‘fastest man alive’ jokes. But he’s sure it won’t be of any issue. He’s been single before, with his university days consisting more of labs than parties, so he’ll be fine.

He quickly changed tune as soon as he entered your shared home as you greeted him with a smile. The more he tried to not think about sex, the more he did, hyperfocusing on every detail. The way your collarbone peaked out from your shirt, the scent of body wash clinging onto you after your shower, even the way you looked at him while asking what he wanted for dinner had his blood rushing downwards.

Barry Allen was not a weak man. Or at least that’s what he tried to convince himself of when you asked if he wanted to see a new lace set you picked up today. He could have easily explained the challenge to you. You would have understood even if it meant you’d laugh in his face. But he really didn’t want to say no. So when you grabbed him by the hand to lead him to the bedroom, he resigned himself to not being able to last longer than a day.

But from the way your nails scratched at his back and how you moaned and gasped into his ear, he found he didn’t mind it too much.

Ted Kord/Booster Gold: Twenty one days.

You’re not really sure how things ended up this way or how the topic of ‘no nut November’ arose from a conversation on what to order for dinner, but both your boyfriends were now trying to outlast the other. Apparently Ted implied Booster was too ‘needy’ to last more than a day, which dissolved into a debate about who the bigger ‘horndog’ is. In your opinion, they were both about equal, with Booster having a naturally high sex drive and Ted’s always in need of some ‘relief’ after work. So, you’re sure both men will call it off tomorrow.

Two weeks. Two weeks. You’re sure the water bill has skyrocketed this month with the amount of cold showers being taken per day and you even saw Ted standing against the freezer for a suspiciously long time.

“Looking a bit stressed there, Teddy. You doing okay?” Booster inquires with an innocent grin, although he seemed just as worn out as the man he was teasing.

Ted only grunts in reply, nursing a cop of coffee, gaze on his tablet, no doubt reading another tech article as he does every morning.

But unlike any other morning, there was no tryst under the sheets or shared shower that was way longer than necessary.

You really didn’t understand why they were doing this. You know for a fact both men have gone longer than a month without sex or even mastrubating, whether from injury or time travelling hijinks, so there really was no reason for those morons to deprive themselves. So, obviously, it’s up to you to return things back to equilibrium, especially since they both look so pitiful. Yes, you’re doing it for their sakes.

On day twenty, you’re at your wit’s end with those stubborn fools. Every one of your schemes have failed.

Stealing Booster’s clothes while he showered only led to Ted quickly excusing himself to talk to Barbara at the sight of the Adonis in all his nude glory.

Convincing Ted to look under the couch for the remote only made Booster leave the house entirely to go out for a jog. When he just came back from one. And he loves Ted’s derrière!

The will of men was clearly something not so easily shattered. It looks like someone needed to take the fall if you wanted things to go back to normal. For their…sexual wellness, of course.

‘Come home.’

Both men eyed each other warily, a silent accusation in their eyes, trying to determine what the other could have possibly done to warrant such a text in the group chat.

It isn’t until they hear a breathy moan that they burst into your shared room to find you splayed on the bed in a blue babydoll, vibrator between your legs as you stared at them with teary eyes.

“Can’t, hah, make myself cum,” you pant as Ted takes the toy from you, immediately changing the speed, carefully watching your face as he plants a hand by your head to hover above you. Booster follows, sitting next to you to brush away the hair sticking to your face with a remorseful expression.

“‘Shouldn’t have neglected you for so long,” Booster croons, bringing your hand up to his mouth to smother in apologetic kisses.

“Don’t worry, we’ll make it up to our needy girl,” Ted mumbles with darkened eyes, watching as you writhe from the relentless pace he set.

Honestly, it wasn’t so bad being the ‘needy’ one.

Bruce Wayne: Thirty days, but accidentally.

You were out on a trip for November, promising to be back in a month. And he was fine. He’s gone longer without you, and he could keep himself busy until you got back.

But maybe he got a bit to used to having a warm body pressed against him every night. But he was fine. He wasn’t some forlorn puppy waiting for their owner to come back. He’s a grown man, for god’s sake.

But unfortunately for him, he couldn’t even find a moment alone to relieve himself since it seemed like everyone was suddenly in the need of him! Alien tech, new gadget advancements that led to a five hour table with Fox, another Arkham break, why was November so against him? And Ghostmaker getting the drop on him while he was…thinking about you was not something he wanted to ever think about again. He’s going to have to improve security for a third time, in any case.

So when December marked the day of your return, surely you wouldn’t blame him for burying his head between your thighs while desperately rutting against the bed. He really missed you, after all.

Yeah, I love comic men so much💞💞 oh yeah, Batman is here too ig…

Masterlist

[jubileesstuff]

I love Fics where Damian gets carried around. So here is a HC from me.

Bruce is at a meeting with the JL, and he brings Robin with him. Why? He just comes along, no real reason. Bruce shows Damian the watchtower, and they run into Hal and Barry. Hal and Barry never met Damian, and they think he is a normal child that fights crime with Batman. Well, they are wrong. They ask Damian which his favorite is, Flash or Green Lantern. Before Damian can say something, Bruce picks him up and carries him away; Damian is too stunned to say anything. This was actually smart, because Damian definitely would have destroyed Hal and Barry with words. Even if Bruce thinks that they're idiots sometimes, he still needs them, and he can't just let his son destroy their mental health with one sentence.

Later in a meeting something similar happens, but it's Superman asking. Before Damian can say anything, Bruce picks him up again, sits him in his lap, and starts patting his head. None of the heroes know it's for their own good; they think it's cute.

The picking up Damian thing also goes for the others. Once Duke and Damian are in the Gotham Library, because Damian has a group project and he refuses to go to the houses of his classmates and he also refuses to bring them to the Manor. Duke is also there just because he also has some homework to do (and because Bruce told him to supervise).

When one of Damian's classmates says that he doesn't like some random animal that Duke hasn't even heard about, he starts to sprint over to Damian and picks him up. Duke knows that Damian would have verbally destroyed the other kid, and he doesn't want to take care of a crying child.

This picking up and making Damian shut up thing works for everyone except Dick. The others say it's because Dick doesn't hold Damian tight enough or because he is too used to getting randomly picked up by Dick. He is a little bit salty about it when he learns during a mission that this also works with Stephanie.

The entire thing was first discovered by Alfred and Tim. Damian and Tim were alone with Alfred at the Manor, and they nearly got into a fight; however, Alfred walked in on them before something happened. He sees that they're both going to explode soon and that they will start fighting. So he decided to just take Damian and place him in a different room. He crouches down to Damian, ruffles his hair, and holds him, then takes his hand and leads him away. For some reason that completely resets Damian's brain (it's probably because in the league no one ever held him, except for training, and then it was violent).

Tim is like, 'What just happened with the Demon Brat?'.

And from that day on, they figured a way out to make Damian shut up.

[aroace-madness]

Comfortable

Captain Marvel was a wonderful guy, friendly, caring, loyal to a fault and always cheery

Everyone loved him or at least respected him

The Justice League especially

So it's not a surprise when the Captain hasn't answered their calls and messages for a few days, they decided to visit him in his home city, Fawcett

Fawcett is a nice city, weird as hell and concerning at times but it had its own beauty

So in all honestly no one was shocked when a big piece of metal came hurling at the league the very second they stepped a foot in the borders of the city

Clark didn't have a chance to take off the ground before a woman in a silver helmet caught it, beside the helmet from which they could see her long Brown hair, she wore a red shirt, a blue belt, and gloves boots and a yellow bottom of a bodysuit that showed off her legs

She putted the piece of metal down on the ground and landed in front of them

“Hello, I’m Bulletgirl” the woman- Bulletgirl extended her hand for a handshake and Diana, who was the closest to her, accepted it

“Nice to meet another sister in arms, I’m Wonder Woman and this” she gestured at her friends “is the Justice League”

“Oh the Justice League, we heard so much about you” Bulletgirl smiled brightly “it's so nice to finally meet you properly, I apologise for the welcome you got but we’ve been having a bit of a problem for the last few day”

“Which includes flying pieces of metal?” Barry cocked his eyebrow, not that she could see

Bulletgirl didn't say anything, just pointed behind her

There was a gigantic robot walking through the city, it seemed to try and swat away whatever was flying around it, probably Captain

“Yeesh” that was Hal

“Yeah, Dr Sivanna started wreaking havoc in that robot a few days ago and we're trying to get him out without damaging the city and hurting people” Bulletgirl rubbed the back of her neck “we’re herding him to a less populated area and evacuating people from there to lessen the risks of anything happening”

Before anyone from the league could say anything, red blurr hitted the ground in front of them

“Ugh” the blur turned out the be a man

“Hi sweetheart” Bulletgirl waved at the man who was apparently her love “i see your ‘i can handle it’ is doing well”

“Oh yeah kick the lying one” the man managed to sit up with a grunt, he was wearing the same helmet as Bulletgirl

“I have the honor to introducing my dunce of a husband Bulletman” the woman said as she helped her husband stand up, his costume was very similar to his wifes, the only difference really were pants and a lack of gloves

“Nice to meet you” he turned to Bulletgirl “Do you have to call me that?” Bulletman grimaced a which made his wife laugh and kiss his cheek

“Now don't be dramatic dear i've called you far worse”

“True” Bulletman shrugged and dusted his clothes off “so, you're the infamous Justice League we’ve been hearing so much about”

“That's us” Clark smiled

“You do look like a bunch of well meaning people, even that shadow guy over there” he pointed at Bruce “dressed in black, cowl, long cape, gloomy demeanor, you must be Batman”

Batman just grunted in acknowledgament

“How are things going back there?” Bulletgirl asked her husband

“Oh, Voltage and Mary are evacuating people from a neighbourhood that Captain, Mr Scarlet and Ibis are herding Sivanna to”

“That's good” She patted his shoulder and turned back to the Justice League “so what brings you to Fawcett anyways?”

“Oh” Barry perked up “we wanted to see how Cap is doing since he hasn't been answering his comms for the past few days but we see why”

“Yeah” there was a silence for a moment “sooooo, do you guys want to help us out with that?”

Everyone agreed

Clark flew over to where the machine was and created a makeshift corridor from ice

Hal started herding the robot with his projections alongside Captain Marvel who waved at him and a man in a red turban

Shayera, Bulletgirl and Bulletman were flying around the robots head to try and confuse Sivana and IT seemed to work

Sivanas machine was slowly stepped towards a big, circular housing estate while Barry was quickly evacuating the last of civilians from the dangered area

When he was finally in a right position, Diana wrapped her lasso around the robots legs, Bruce did the same with his grappling hook

Shayera, Hal and Bullegirl started pushing at the shoulders of the robot while Captain Marvel and Bulletman were pulling them

The robot lost its footing and started to lose its balance. Clark made a giant ice wall to cushion the fall

The machines upper body fell on the ice and shattered it to about a half of it's height before stopping (Barry made sure to catch and put away the pieces of ice, before any of them landed on any building)

Bulletgirl opened the hatch of the machines head and took Sivana out, holding him by the scruff of his kilt while he was kicking and screaming, flailing his arms around

“I’ll take him to the police, Mister Scarlet is already with them making sure that there aren't any any injured or god forbid casualties” Bulletgirl said as she flew away from Sivana in her hand

The rest of the two groups gathered on the ground by the robot

“That was awesome guys” Barry smiled as he joined the group

“It sure was” Bulletman nodded his hand and putted his hands on his hips, seconds before he got tackled and putted in a one arm headlock by Marvel

“You guys were great!” Captain smiled in his typical fashion as he held the Bulletman

The man didn't seem too bothered by his current situation

“Do you have to do that every time?” The man in a red turban asked, tilting his head a bit

“You know I do, Ibis” Marvel grinned at the man, Ibis apparently “you guys were great too” Captain directed his attention to them, completely shifting his attitude

Before any of the League members could say anything else they got interrupted by two blurs, red and blue, flying straight into the Captain

The man didn't budge and just caught the two into his other arm

The red blur was a girl, looked almost identical to Captain, Mary Marvel

The blue blur was a guy, Voltage

Captain didn't say anything, just dropped them as they kept laughing and cheering

“Alright Cap, I think it's time for you to let go of Bulletman” Mr Scarlet said, leaning a bit on Ibis

Marvel sticked his tongue out at Mr Scarlet and eased his arm, letting the other man slip out of his grasp

Bulletman took advantage of his freedom and slapped Captain in the arm. Captain was about to slap back when Bulletgirl landed next to them

“Alright, Sivana is taken care of” she dusted her hands off and looked at the mess

“Yeah this is going to be a bitch to clean up” Ibis sighed

“Yeah, how about you guys start and I’ll escort our guests” Bulletgirl smiled

“Yeah yeah, you do you” Voltage rolled his eyes as he was already starting the clean-up

Bulletgirl motioned to the league to follow her, and they did

“Did Captain Marvel seem, different to you guys?” Clark his friends in a shushed voice as they walked trough the streets of the city

“He did seem much more relaxed around the other guys” Barry rubbed his chin

“He also called them by their names, without all these “Misses” and “Misters” he always uses when addressing one of us” Shayera pointed out

“Hmm” Bruce hummed, thinking

They arrived at the city borders and stopped in front of Bulletgirl

“It was really nice meeting all of you and thank you for your help” she smiled at them brightly

“It was nice meeting you and your friends too” Clark smiled back

“Uhh” Hal interjected “I got a question, you see, Captain Marvel seemed much more relaxed around you guys, how did you get him to let loose?”

Bulletgirl stared at Hal for a few moments

“Is he overly polite with you, is always respectful and seems like he would rather die than be mean to any of you?”

The League was left dumbfounded for a few seconds

“Uhh yeah” Barry nodded “how did you know?”

“Because he was the exact same way with us when he started out as a hero of Fawcett” Bulletgirl explained

“There is no way that's true” Hal shook his head

“Oh but it is, it took him about five years to finally let loose, you gotta give him some time. How long has he worked with you?”

“About a year and a half now” Diana answered

“Oh yeah, it’s much too soon for him” Bulletgirl laughed

“Maybe he does need time to get comfortable” Diana rubbed the back of her neck “how long have you been working together”

“Oh we’ve been fighting together since 1960”

“1960!?” Barrys eyes bulged out, same as the rest of the League really

“What do you mean 1960?” Clark asked in shock, he wasn't even on earth in 1960, he doubted that he was even in plans during that time

“Not to sound rude or anything but how old are you?” Hal asked

“Oh i’m 35” she answered, as if she’s not frying the justice leagues brains

“Wait, wait, wait” Shayera shook her head “ if you've been working with Cap since 1960, then how are you still 35?”

“That's because of the Suspendium” Bulletgirl said as if it explained anything. She must have noticed their confusion since she started talking again “Dr Sivana used a chemical he created, Suspendium, to trap Captain Marvel, Mary Marvel and Voltage in a force Field that would keep them suspended animation, something went wrong and instead of just capturing the three, the entire city got surrounded by the time bubble, as we call it, with Sivana in it. Captain managed to pop the bubble two years ago”

“Two years ago was when there were first sighting of Captain Marvel” Bruce pointed out

“Yes, the second the bubble popped, Captain started flying around the world”

“Wait” Clark shook his head “how come we never heard of something like that ever happening?”

“Oh” Bulletgirl rubbed the back of her neck “apparently everything and everyone that was trapped in the time bubble was completely erased from the maps and history books and only came back when the bubble was popped”

“That doesn't make any sense” Bruce sighed as he rubbed his temples

“Nothing makes sense, bat boy” Bulletgirl shrugged “now, as much as it's nice standing here and talking I really should help with cleaning” She said as she took of from the ground and bid them adieu

“God this is so weird” Barry sighed

“You're telling me?” Clark slumped a bit

“I think it's best if we don't think about it too much” Diana patted her friends shoulders

As they came back to the Watchtower they all agreed not to think too much about the whole Suspendium situation, it would only lead to a headache

They do like Captains friends tho, they seem nice and are good heroes

@puppetwoman17 @shazam-secret-santa

I hope you like it :D

[bet-on-me-13]

Ellie isn't allowed to travel alone Anymore

So! Ellie was raised in a Lab by a Genuine Bonefied Supervillain. She was raised to be a Villain as well, so her Moral Conpass is a little skewed.

Sure she *mostly* knows what is right and wrong from Danny's quick lesson before her Adventure around the Country, but she still has trouble separating what is moral and what is not from time to time.

So it's really no surprise that the moment she left Amity Park she somehow ended up being branded a Villain.

Look, it's not her fault she didn't know not to attack the flying guy in Blue Spandex when he approached her! One of Danny's biggest warnings shen she left had been Stranger Danger! She did what any 12 year old girl would have done when approached by a strange Older Man!

Its also not her fault that her powers (being Magic based), managed to affect him! She didn't even use her full power! (She maybe should have kicked him in a different place tho...she hopes he wasn't planning on having kids...)

So she did what her instincts told her to do. She took any money he had on him and ran the hell away!

It wasn't until she was 2 cities over when she saw a newspaper titled, "Little Villain Girl Mugs Superman in Broad Daylight!", that she realized she may have screwed up...

After that, she really had no excuse.

She knew that she probably shouldn't have kept Mugging the Heroes who approached her, but she wasn't a Fenton for nothing! Her Family Motto had always been "Commit to the Bit", and she was gonna stick to it!

So when the Fast Red Guy tried to tie her up, she phased off all his clothes and took off with his money (not the mask, she knew enough not to take that off)

And when the Grumpy Bat Guy tried to corner her with some weird papers he pulled out of his Belt, she just distracted him while her clone picked his pockets and made off with the wheels of his Car. That one made her a pretty penny!

The flying Green Guy was fun, his attacks were just throwing Ghost Candy (pure willpower) at her. He did stop doing do after she nicked his fancy talking Ring however, but it was fun while it lasted

Then she came across a Orange Fish Guy, and he actually seemed nice enough. But she was committing to the Bit, so she took the fancy Trident he had and sold it at a nearby Pawn Shop for some extra cash. He would probably be able to find it, that's why she chose a nearby location.

All in All, her Adventure had been really fun! So she decided to visit Amity Park again to tell Danny all about it!

...

Aquaman walked into the meeting room of the Watchtower, a very frustrated look in his eye.

Barry spoke up first, "Oh! I know that look in your eye! She got to you too didn't she!"

Arthur just glared at Barry for a second before walking over to his Chair, sitting down with a thump. "She is certainly a tricky child."

"What did she take this time?" Clark asked.

"..mttrident..." Arthur grumbled out quickly.

"What was that?" Asked Barry with a twinkle in his eye. He heard it, but he wanted everybody else to know.

"She took my trident, Okay!" Arthur shouted out.

"I feel ya man." Responded Hal, "At least with me she threw it back at me when she realized it wasn't making 'candy' anymore. What did she do with yours?"

"She sold it at a Pawn Shop!" Arthus yelled in frustration, "She managed to steal one of the most Powerful Magical Weapons in the world, the Symbol of the entire Atalantean Royal Bloodline, and she sold it and a Pawn Shop!"

"...how much did she get for it?" Asked Hal.

At this, Aquaman just collapsed to the table and groaned.

...

Alternatively she could have just kept all those things, and gradually built up a collection of all the JLA's most treasured possessions.

She has Supermans Wallet, not very important to him but it was her first mugging

She has Batmans Utility Belt (trackers removed) along with his Tires

She took Flashes Costume Ring (his civilian clothes still stuck inside)

She took Green Lanterns ring as well, but unfortunately it managed to escape after a few days. It was feisty.

And her crowning Jewel is the Trident she took from Aquaman.

(She avoided WW, cause she likes her too much to steal anything from her)

[frownyalfred]

Read your superbat fic where they are really bad at pretending to not be in love with each other while having sex in a way that is probably breaking some JL “colleague fornication” policies. Loved it. Amazing. Absolute soulmates as always. Diana saw that these two were in love from afar and has probably spent those few months constantly having to assure newer hero’s that no, superman and Batman are not secretly at war with each other right now. No this isn’t going to be an HR issue (hopefully). No there won’t be a super vc bat battle destroying the watch tower. Yes, she knows their weird tension could be cut through with a knife and yes she’s sorry but there’s nothing she can do about it

Now I'm imagining a hilarious side fic to love comes quickly where it's just Diana fielding a hundred different JL complaints, HR reports, concerned third parties, and questions from junior JL members as Batman and Superman very visibly are Not Fighting but still somehow manage to generate enough tension between them to possibly nudge the Watchtower off orbit. Because she's the only sane third of the Trinity, right? Of course everyone goes to her.

Things Diana had to hear about/deal with/etc:

Broken Watchtower elevator with a Batarang in the camera lens

Clark editing Watchtower shifts and reassigning himself (and therefore dozens of other people) without Trinity approval

when Diana asks Bruce about this, he just ducks the question

Hal Jordan confused why Superman blew up on him

Bruce fucking off into space for three weeks suddenly with Hal despite 1) not liking deep space missions and 2) being a voting member of the JL Founders

the Watchtower elevator was closed for THREE DAYS for repairs

numerous worried comments about Superman's eyes being red/flashing red on the Watchtower

broken wall/smashed panel in medical wing

someone heard Batman screaming in the medical wing right before that, possibly related?

Bruce wasn't on-Watchtower when Clark got hit with shrapnel which delayed Clark's surgery. why wasn't Bruce on the Watchtower? good question

someone complained that the new buttons and camera in the Watchtower elevator look weird (what does that mean?)

JL Founder meetings are basically useless now. everyone is watching Batman and Superman pointedly Not Interact

"Superman seems depressed but I don't really know why" < not actionable unfortunately for Diana

there's a rumor circulating that both Batman and Superman quit the League at the same time and someone (Ollie) is feeding it because they find it funny (per Barry)

is the JL going to dissolve???? (Barry)

[ere-the-sun-rises]

Batfam and the Lazarus Pit

This isn't my idea, and I honestly can't remember if @frownyalfred or @bruciemilf came up with this idea first, but it's been living in my head rent free and I need to get it out.

There are Lazarus Pits under Gotham, even contributing to why the city's so cursed. The Bats have each used a Lazarus Pit at least once (maybe not Spoiler and Signal, but I'm not sure). I'm fairly sure it's also canonical that the more you use it, the more prolonged the effects are and it kinda changes you incrementally but permanently.

Enter the Batfam, who train like crazy and are Olympian-level athletes all on their own, and using the Lazarus to help each other on death's door. (They don't tell each other when they do this, and they think it's never been done to them - except Jason, he can always tell - but they also don't share when they've done it to others.)

As time goes on, everyone gets older, stronger, more proficient at their jobs. Some take on younger teams, some proteges, some fly solo or stick around home. It's one of the OG Leaguers who points it out one day when they're having a civilian lunch - probably Ollie or Hal. In my head Bruce is one of, if not the youngest, OG Leaguers. So it's not crazy when Clark or Barry start to wrinkle around the eyes or get grey in their hair well before Bruce would. Bruce is also a public figure - he's got appearances to keep up.

But then ... Bruce is over 40 and his hair is still as black as it's ever been. His wrinkles are from his scowling and focus, only crinkling around the edges of his eyes and mouth a little bit. Idly, Hal wonders out loud if Bat's eyes have always been so dark, almost like coals. Barry notes that Bruce is way bigger than he used to be, that he bulges the suits he wears to galas with his size. Ollie, who's own beard is greying, bitterly points out that even Bruce's stubble is still black.

And suddenly, Bruce hits 50 and he's still thick-chested and dark-haired. The other Bats only seem to get more and more ... more. No non-meta can spar with them anymore unless they hold back and they seem to have endless stamina and pain tolerance. Clark and Diana think nothing of it, but the other fully human Leaguers start to wonder what's really going on. If maybe Bruce had lied to them. But J'onn swears that in their own minds, all of the Bats fully believe they're human. Aside from the suspicion, there's no reason to believe otherwise. They still bleed and scar, no matter how beautiful they seem to remain. No matter that Bruce keeps going and going and going even after others his age have been retired for years.

Fed up one day, Ollie asks him how he does it. Dermatologists? Botox? Just For Men? Bruce snorts and rolls his eyes. He smirks, "Good genes, I guess."

Bruce is nearly 70 when the grey creeps into his hair and his body starts to slow. His children are still active as ever, and when Tim takes up the Batman mantle, Bruce retires to train new heroes. One young hero complains that Bruce hits like one of the Amazons she trained with but he only responds that he's never stopped being the Bat even with tbe cowl off.

And then ... Leaguers start dying. Gradually, age takes them one by one and they's succeeded by the heroes they've mentored and the children who followed in their footsteps. Grey is starting to creep into Dick and Jason's hair, but they're still as vibrant and lively as ever.

It's only when it's just him left of humans of the original group that he actually considers why. If anyone should have died young, it should have been him. And yet, he's nearing 90 and not nearly as withered as some of them had been when they passed away. The vitality he's always attributed to his genetics and continued activity can't explain why all his children remain as beautiful and capable all their lives as he has. So one day, he gathers his wayward children down in the cave like they used to 50 years ago and asks them to be completely honest with him.

"Have any of you used the Lazarus Pit on anyone here without telling them or reporting it?"

The silence he's met with is deafening.

[aangelinakii]

COOKING WITH THE JUSTICE LEAGUE.

characters written about in this piece : bruce wayne, clark kent, diana prince, barry allen, hal jordan

note : omgomg this idea is so frraking cute 😭😭 and sorry some are longer than others !!! <3

requested !

BRUCE WAYNE.

it's not that bruce can't bake, because he can, but the whole "baking" thing doesn't really fit the agenda he's going for 💀 so it would take a lot of convincing to get bruce to try make some meringues, or even cupcakes. but after living with alfred for the majority of his life, he's definitely learned how to cook.

i mean, he's still a guy with a butler, so it's not like he does everything or knows how to make everything. if you want to make something he's never made before, he'll definitely let you take the lead, and something inside him will be a little nervous about messing anything up, so even if you ask him to stir something he'll keep asking if he's doing everything right

but when it comes to dishes he does know how to make bruce will want you to sit back and watch, and periodically taste test his food to "make sure it's not poisonous." he loves cooking for you, but i can see him feeling a bit out of place when it becomes a duo task — he doesn't want to mess anything up, and part of him feels a bit like that young bruce again, in the early years after his parents' deaths, sitting on the counter whilst alfred cooks them dinner.

CLARK KENT.

clark absolutely looooveeeesss cooking, i'd say it's definitely a love language of his, making food for the people he loves. he's probably learnt it from ma kent, cooking for people. clark definitely has a long list of recipes stored up there, and probably has a separate tab on his phone for recipes he thought were interesting

differently to bruce, i think clark may have a talent for baking specifically, as opposed to cooking proper dinner meals. if you cook a meal together i could see you focusing on the dinner, and clark preparing dessert, which he can put in the oven whilst you're eating. and yes, even on a normal evening (usually a friday night or weekend) he insists on having a dessert. even if what you've made is some instant ramen or ten-minute rice dish, clark is up at the counter stewing some blueberries and apple slices for a crumble

DIANA PRINCE.

diana has so many handed-down recipes that she would love to share,, and on days where she hasn't got anything going on she loves spending the entire day making huge servings of greek dishes that you can keep in the fridge and eat every night for a month. she's not one to hog the counter or the oven, she wants to teach you everything she knows !!!

and she's super super open to learning your recipes, or being your little guinea pig if you want to experiment with recipes, like hello she's amazonian she could survive anything !! but if you're in the kitchen, she'll ask if there's anything she can do to help you out and even if you say no she'll find something to do, like fill up a glass of water so you don't get too dehydrated whilst making her some amazing food.

BARRY ALLEN.

love love loves sharing the kitchen with you, and he loves cooking for you just as much as you love cooking for him. i even made a whole fic about it (shameless promo) where you alternate dinner making duties round each other's apartment each week

he thinks you're amazing really,, even if you cook something that tastes a little bit.. you know.. barry will still gobble it down because you ?? thought of him ?? and wanted to make him food ?? probably has food as a love language, but in a different way to clark,, the way clark sees it, making food is how he expressed love, but barry feels like eating someone's food that way made for him is a way of showing love ? do you know what i mean ?

obviously he loves cooking for and with you, but yeah he really appreciates you cooking for him more

HAL JORDAN.

definitely takes charge in the kitchen, but will give you jobs here and there. it could be tasting, it could be mixing spices into a sauce, it could be stirring. i think he prefers the creative aspect to cooking, so if he's got a recipe in mind be prepared to get a little bossed around. he likes adding seasoning and making little sauces. sometimes if you're lounging around at home he'll spring out of nowhere with a snack for you to eat, "something he's working on" and it always tastes buss

might get a little nervy if you want to take charge, but that's just a him issue, and he'll calm down once you get the food sitting right in front of him and it tastes just as good as it smells (and also as long as the fire alarm hasn't gone off once !!!!)

[witherby]

chef who do you think would be the most to least willing to be the subject of mousey's makeovers? imagine like young mousey just learnt makeup and is now trying to practice the skills of makeup on someone

-🕯

Oh, fun question! Makeup is genderless, so to me that doesn't play a factor in willingness here! None of these characters' egos are going to be bruised by eyeliner.

Who's okay to endure a makeover?

Most Willing:

Bruce: he's regularly and routinely wearing a full face and airbrushing any exposed skin so that the general public doesn't see a Brucie full of battle scars. He's so used to this that he can coach you through the best application practices without looking. Beats having to do it himself.

Jason: got into makeup to cover up the J carved into his cheek. He's fine to let you doll him up a bit. Will even request certain colors for his eyes and lips.

Alfred: massive theatre nerd and former professional actor! He wore stage makeup for shows, and that stuff is thick. Of course Flittermouse can dab some blush on his cheeks and give him a smokey eye. He slays and serves every day.

Barry: why not? Uncle Bare is down for whatever, and he thinks it's really cool what sorts of designs you can put on your face. Go nuts!

Dick: He was going to ask to do your make-up first. He's so pretty he doesn't need it, but that doesn't matter. He wants to blind people with the amount of highlighter he slaps on. He needs the brightest, boldest, glitteriest look you can offer him. He graduated Top of his Cunt at the Unislaysity of Mother. Werk, bitch.

Dinah: thinks the act of doing your makeup is very soothing! She'd love to do some fun looks with you!

Indifferent to Make-up:

J'onn: could take it or leave it. Just put it on his human disguise, not his actual skin, and he'll let you do whatever you want.

Oliver: it's fine. He's also famous and wants to look nice for the cameras so he knows the song and dance with products. Just don't get it in his sorry excuse for a beard (Bruce's words) and you can do whatever you want.

Victor: It's not his favorite activity on the planet. If you're not careful, you could get product in his machine parts and that'll be a bitch to clean, but he trusts you and doesn't care if you wanna give him a matte lip and contour.

Diana: will oblige if you insist. Her skin is flawless so she's never had a need for it, but she is pretty tolerant to anything and will put up with a mascara wand in the eye if it means spending some time with you.

Tim: same as Diana. He's got a good skincare routine going on to give himself a nice, natural glow, but if you insist upon winged eyeliner and a bold, dramatic lip, he'll tell you what colors he prefers.

Unwilling to get a Makeover:

Arthur: won't go near it, even if you're toting brands that are vegan and cruelty free. Besides, there's no such thing as waterproof makeup. Water resistant, certainly, but he can't go rule Atlantis with a full beat and still come out of the water looking fresh twelve hours later. That shit's coming off.

Hal: Yeah no, it's a sensory nightmare and he's a chronic face-toucher. It's a shame because he would love to try it out and all the colors look super fun, but it will either end up smudged all over his face and hands in 30 minutes, or he'll need to tap out because it's so cold and goopy.

Clark: I think he just wouldn't like it! With his super senses it would probably feel like a big mess on his face, and he seems to be a pretty clean, meticulous person. Plus I like to think he doesn't have any pores on account of my "Kryptonians are actually lil freaks that make humans uncomfortable" headcanons, so it's not gonna lay right. If you get too close to his face he swerves into Uncanny Valley really fast, and Fenty Beauty foundation won't help with that.

Damian: not interested for the same reasons as Arthur. Big makeup companies are always doing animal testing, even if they don't explicitly advertise it. That's horrific! Get that setting powder away from him posthaste!

[the-batblog]

This is probably a hot take but I don't think anybody actually cares who Batman is outside of the GCPD and conspiracy theorists.

When Batman first shows up he's a friggen poltergeist. He's a cryptid. For a second there maybe people thought he was just a creepypasta.

Then when people start to think… actually it kinda seems like he's a guy…? Like, he's a real…? Person…???

Then the GCPD is like, 'Okay, well, then he's breaking laws.'

But your average schmo is like, 'And? Yeah he's a guy; he gave me fifty bucks to get home last night. Right after he saved me from an acid piranha pit.'

But the thing is, Bats has his own personality. He's a whole person as the mask. People don't ask who Superman's secret identity is because, as far as they're concerned, Superman is just Superman, and when they can't see him, it's because he went home. It would be the same with Batman. They probably think he sleeps or hangs upside-down all day.

I think Gothamites like him as Just Batman; he's the city's pet monster, and they like it that way.

I think we get super caught up in the, "Batman's secret identity might be revealed! 😱" because Batman's secret identity is famous. But if someone unmasked Clark or Barry or Hal it would be like

"…I have no idea who this is."

And they expect the same of Batman.

GCPD wants to know so they can arrest him, conspiracy theorists want to know because they wanna know where he fits into the machine, gossip columnists want to know so they can get catch some drama, and real-person fanfic authors wanna know so they can accurately describe him when he takes his mask off to kiss Bruce Wayne.