#it's not me thinking I am not deserving of ppl talking to me i am cool and fun and have a hot cock (no cock) but it's a big leap | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

puppyeared · 7 months

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i wanna post my skip to loafer art but i cant do it knowing ppl are gonna put it on tiktok and pinterest bc itd be like. bringing an invasive species ykwim

#my meds just kicked in so im feeling talkative but truly idk how to explain it #its like. with anything else id be more than happy to introduce it to ppl like monkie kid and mp100. witch hat maybe but its personal to me #but skip to loafer is special to me. and i feel bad for saying this bc other ppl do deserve to watch smth they will enjoy #hell the reason i got into it was bc my friend was kind enough to lend me her copy and i got hooked #its so ironic im saying this esp given how insecure i am abt depicting characters wrong. but i really dont want to look thru the tags #and see them on a 'can i copy your homework' tier list. or ppl getting mad abt why egashira mitsumi and shima cant just be a throuple #its just!! i wont stop you if thats how you like to engage with the show or how you interpret it bc ill just ignore it and leave u alone!!#and theres no objective wrong way of doing it!! and i know that interacting with the work is what forms a community after all!!#but keeping it tight knit is just easier for me bc nobody has to worry abt making each other laugh and we can enjoy it for what it is #fully aware im saying this as someone whos drawn monkie kid art with text post memes and owl house draw the squad templates #but at the same time i just. dont want to explain myself or give ppl reasons why shima and mitsumi are ace coded just bc it 'feels right'#fandom is a communal thing and it feels so hypocritical thinking this. too many conflictng thoughts that idk what to act on #yapping

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dreamwinged · 3 months

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to be so honest im starting to think i really need to see a professional for my social anxiety

#.mei’s chatter ˚༘⋆ ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖#it is so bad in ways i can’t even articulate but today i felt sick over having to send one text message and procrastinated the entire day #i’ve gotten so bad recently #and that’s not even a fraction of the texts i need to reply to.. i feel like im crumbling under the weight of how awkward i am #and i hate it because im sure everyone thinks i’m rude and i know it comes off as so weird when i reply to a text fucking SIX WEEKS late #but i genuinely feel so awful and guilty over it i just cannot make myself do it. i’m so scared ill say the wrong thing or fuck up #or i just forget because i have memory issues but it’s awful all the same and i feel so terrible #and i assume everyone hates me until i see them again because i never texted back and it makes me feel like an awful person #but i have good intentions and i really just want to give everyone the kindness they deserve but i get so scared to talk to ppl it’s crazy #it’s so awful. i really need it fixed it feels like it’s rotting my soul and ruining my relationships #people will be so nice to me and then i just don’t get back to them… it’s horribly horribly rude and i know it i just get terrified #or i forget most the time i really do just forget but it feels bad all the same #i think it stems from like.. i don’t want to say the wrong thing so i need to think hard about what to say but then i forget or get so ->#caught up in trying to say the perfect thing that i get overwhelmed and procrastinate then forget entirely #i’m an awful person i truly cannot stand myself #i guess the only way forward is to just be better in the future but fuck i feel so guilty

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bunnihearted · 2 months

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ᯓ★

#i feel the way i feel and i dont owe it to anyone to hide my sadness </3333 #also i just have bpd and even somewhere many ppl have that u cant even say anything but im just having a breakdown now 🤷🏻‍♀️#anyway what i wanted to say is that i AM sensitive and emotional and stupid #and it does hurt so much when the person i want and love doesnt feel that way for me #and i feel bad saying stuff like this bc ppl dont really understand but #i dont feel..: a whole lot... for anyone but him thats just how it is #so he IS a loss he IS so hard to lose and thats just how i feel #and it hurts sm bc hes the only one i wanna talk to but i cant #i know this is smth most ppl deal with in life and like it's just part of being a human #i just everyday keep thinking of things that remind me of him or i read a book i wanna tell him abt and then the pain comes back #bc the thing is i kinda only want to talk to him abt it all bc i just dont /feel/ a lot talking to others #that doesnt mean i dont appreciate it or care i just dont know how to explain #maybe it's my avpd? but i just dont feel happy or nice or good or comfortable or excited or interested in the same way :((((#i dont know i barely know what im talking or thinking about #and i keep saying the same things over and over again im just so sad and it feels like i always will be #bc i have bpd and then the pain feels all consuming and like it will never end and its just so hard to deal with #and even if it might be true when ppl say stuff like u deserve love or you're gonna find someone else etc #im not ready to receive it bc i only want this specific person and i get that many ppl deal with unrequited love and its part of life #but i AM scared bc im 25 and i've never ever met anyone i feel even a fraction for what i feel for him #what if im someone who doesnt get many chances w ppl? what if im cursed to be alone and never find anyone i have a mutual connection to????#so therefore i just wanted thought believed and hoped it would be him #and yes i acknowledge that a lot of it was just me wanting that and not realizing reality but its still how i felt #and as a bpd girlie my emotions are all consuming 🥴#so bottom line is i kinda just wanna die bc i wanna talk to him every second bc im crazy and mentally ill and since i cant do that im in sm #pain hahahah :D #and i will complain abt it bc it hurts so much idk what to do!!!!! ☺️

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mblue-art · 2 years

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Hi. I saw that you like Lust. Not many people I see like Lust. Everyone hates him. It's nice to see someone who also likes him. :) Amazing art!

Hullo ! I love Lust, very much so!! 🥺💙💜💙💜

I understand the hate bc of the content made around him by the OG creator,

But what I do is acknowledge that this is the roots, this is how it started, (also if my memory is right and if im not bullshittin i think it was funny that it started as a joke au where 'everyone is mtt except himself' and now ofc it evolved into an actual au— anyway hope op's doing ok 🙏), take what I like from that AU (ex. lust being Very Sans) and then add a shitton of headcanons on top like it's whipped cream/frosting on a cupcake, maybe w/ some sprinkles, even uwu

That's why he's soft, I love soft Underlust Sans, I contribute to soft Lust content bc he's more than just the multiverse's 'pervert' like smhhh 😤😤😤 where's that post— THIS, look at this 👈👈👈

Also ppl can just. Make headcanons/have their own interpretations lol. (Wait ok well some AU creators might not like?? That??? But since Underlust AU concept technically belongs to the community now.........) Go ham, man, you don't have to religiously follow the canon content if you're uncomfy with it <3

Fandom experience is all about having fun !! Look at me I'm doing selfship art bc that makes me happy ! 💜💙 (I may be cringe... but i am free 😎 /ref)

#whats NOT FUN tho is uhhh being mean and possibly bullying/harrassing ppl?? thats. thats rude????#that is- in the words of Fresh— 'Totally unrad broski.'#not mad btw!! now lets go bacj to me simping—#ask #mblue talks #m rambles #also hello fandom can we have more masc bod lust sans btw 🅱️lease i am like a starved man in a beach full of hot girl summers /hj #not that i dont like the fem slay 💅 take that most of the fandom currently has- i appreciate it!!#hes SO gender and very pretty and he deserves to be!! even i contribute to pretty lust propaganda #but i want balance is the thing lmao o(-< i dont think there isnt a lot of masc (bod) lust content compared to the other and hrhrggh #the sans trait is what made me fall for his goof ass i want to see him masc and sans-y and boy and-#UERGHF BOY IN LAP i want to kiss him make him feel loved he deserves to be SO loved and appreciated #i want to be so gd sappy with this man

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storm-of-feathers · 9 months

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:')

#not to be a substance abuser on main but fuckign. oops.#the stress of the season got to me and guess who is out of ambien until THE TWENTYGODDAMNSIXTH #mmmmaybe earlier if i get lucky?? argh #i used a lockbox previously to help prevent me from doing this exact thing but i figured out the uh #damnit whats it called. the failsafe ig that shuts the timer off #im so annoyed w myself bc once ive had one for some reason ambien brain is like oh boy lets have more.#and ambien alex is an incredibly shitty combination of dumbass while having all the smartness of normal alex #so its not like i can hide them from myself or put them in puzzles or something #im so so annoyed w myself but i think like. not having it is the punishment i deserve #ive really tried to switch off ambien but its the only thing that works bc it slows my brain down for two seconds #which has the effect of Me Being An Idiot #vent #gooood i hate talking ab this bc ik ppl will always be like ''just do not be prescribed ambien/do not abuse it'' BRO I AM TRYING #ya boy used to be on hard drugs im doing my best here

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my-thirteenth-reason · 3 months

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kicking my feet and giggling (<- just got apologised to)

#guys i have worth??? im actually a human being deserving of basic respect and SHOULD be apologised to if i am not given that??? holy shit #ok but like i actually was pretty mad and i just wasn't going to talk to them when the weekend ended but to think they'd actually apologise #guys i am a friend worth apologising to omg this is so nice #(<- was fuming over how i was a “friend” not even worthy of her basic decency and respect an hour ago)#LIKE IM STILL MAD #okay i actually cant vaguepost to save my life but basically this girl whos a friend i recently got close to and formed a friendgroup with #shes really fucking whiny and ive been tolerating it for so long but on friday she was extremely whiny and rude whenever i just asked a #simple question #and it's really draining and humiliating to be spoken to like poop on the sidewalk in front of other people #but anyway other than that i was really upset because during pe i wanted to show her my hip injury cuz i thought it was funny #(it wasn't diagnosed yet i just felt my joints moving weirdly)#and like that involves her putting her hand on my hip #so i asked her to do that then she started whining about how she doesn't want to touch me and that i'm weird for asking ppl to touch me #then she started telling like the 3 other ppl around us i was weird and wanted ppl to touch me #then this other cool girl overheard and looked at us funny i guess cuz then the friend said 'haha now [cool girls name] is also laughing'#i was so fucking embarrassed and humiliated i still want to tear up thinking about it #like are you actually my friend wtf i don't even need enemies w a friend like you #i wanted to cry so bad then #ugh i hate it #like you couldve just said no thanks bro what is ur problem #this just made me realise how much i hate how she talks to me sometimes #and i know i need to stop surrounding myself with negative vibes in order to feel happy #but its still so frustrating #we were doing so well the other day and google meeting everyday #then this happened and then she got mad and started ignoring me on the way home #bro idk i hate ts i should just stop making friends #rant

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languri · 13 days

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Btw the gov here just block public DNS and forced everyone to connect with ISP DNS which means the ISP here dictates which website we can connect. I just hope Tumblr did not get block but if they do then please keep me in your prayers as that one asian chick that fucks with that single dad character from the powerpuff girls 😔💔🙏

#i will use a vpn duh but like it just kinda sucks I have to opt using a vpn just to access this gay website 😔😔😔#its okay its for the best anyway you all will be free from my depressive post this is what i deserve 🙏#also i doubt ppl gonna miss me much since i am not active in my sideblog and talk to almost 0 ppl these days #but remember username languri each time you think about me being blocked for posting utonium too much for years under the radar #asukablyat

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taeyungie · 1 year

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😺

#i haven't addressed yoongi's situation yet because i'm honestly still not hit by it i guess. like it didnt gwt to me yet #i dont think ill ever love anyone the same as i love him you know what i mean #he has been the first reason of my self development. like he literally raised me??? i learned from him how to be the person i am today #and its like im saying goodbye to a family member. the thing is i have never griefed anyone's absence like this #its like a part of my soul will be missing until he comes back #but at the same time i know what he would want for me. to move on and to become my own reason #he would want me to be kind to myself. to focus on myself and not miss him that much.#he would want that for all of us right #but i have a very hard time processing things. do you guys remeber the festa last year? when we found out theyll be going on hiatus #the reality of it snd the fact that it will be happening hit me onky after around 3 months.#thats when i first cried because i realized what it meant. ofc i knew but it didnt occur to the emotional part of my brain at that time #and i feel like im truly gonna fall apart when THIS hits me in 3 months lol #my life has never been worse and thats honestly the time when i need the reassurance the most #when i need the people i love and find comfort in the most.#but its just me and thats technically just my problem. but since i am talking about my view on this then thats okay i guess hahah anyway #i just hope he knows there are milions of ppl who love him as much as i do. and thats like extra love like forever & beyond type of shit #i honestly dont think other people ever truly fully understand how we feel towards them. especially when you really love somebody #because they have their own opinions about themselves. they debate whether they deserve some kind of treatment or not. we all do that right #and i just know he does that too. i just reslly want him to feel completely loved and cherished and appreciated.#i want him to see himself through our eyes. to surround himself with people who see him exactly the way we do.#to fall in love with somebody who will see him like we see him #nobody deserves better life than this man. and i hope that after our reunion he will live that life to the fullest 💓 i can't wait to see it #anyway. if somebody needs to talk about it or wants to get sadness out of your system - im here 💓#please keep your heads up and lets wait for him 💓#we have esch other and we will be okay 💓#sorry for typos i can barely see its 1am 🤓

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f1owermoon · 1 month

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thinking abt the ways ive heard people describe me and going 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💘💘💘💘💘🫶🫶🫶🫶

#i was in group therapy for a while and we had to do an exercise where we had to describe ourselves and then ask someone close to describe us #and the therapist also asked us to describe each other #i said i was sweet (i dont really THINK of myself as sweet but other people often tell me i am so i was like sure lets go w it)#and then one of the ladies who was there was like no youre not sweet youre SUPER sweet and i was like oh??????????#and then another girl was like: she's like a cloud. it was so cute LMFAO #it was the same girl who said she thought my voice was so sweet and soft sometimes she couldn't focus on what i was saying when i talked #and i dunno. everyone else in that group was a bit older than me and the therapist was like well #besides being a good person i think youre really intelligent and articulate for your age and i was like well.....im not that young LMFAO #idk its just weird to think about all the positive ways in which others perceive you yk?#like ive never EVER thought of myself as intelligent. if anything quite the opposite #even here i remember getting a couple of anonymous asks from ppl telling me that they thought i was cool or funny #or that they liked my sense of humor and i was like me???????? cool????????? funny???????????? no way dude #then there's been others from people telling me i was cute or sweet which is what i often hear from others but yeah #ive never considered myself particularly cute or sweet?????? i think im just a decent person lmao #anyway. much to think about.....#sorry for the rant if youve read everything you deserve a kiss (with tongue???? jk. unless??) 💋#raquel speaks

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tcotmc · 2 months

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“I think I’m a spec” I say as I am religiously traumatized and on ssris and hrt

#funnie joak #I am coming back around to the possibility of me being ace aro again no joke #like I don’t claim that identity but really what do I have to disprove it 💀#I’m always like ohhh I wish I could be in a relationship maybe I want that and then do nothing about it so I think it’s just like. this idea #that I play with or feel some compulsion toward #and when ppl talk about being in a relationship it’s like this super foreign thing to me that I don’t understand. but still I feel a certain #level of like. envy. like not that they don’t deserve it but it more so makes me wish I understood what they do #something so integral to the human experience #that I just. don’t have any experience with or motivation to pursue #but I still feel like I’m lonely and missing out on something #or really Missing Something inside me. like I saw the tv glow style. well #girl whatever

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bunnyboy-juice · 2 months

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blah blah blah blah blah

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deityofhearts · 7 months

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I hate people who think they have a say in what other people do with their own belongings, people can customize their collectors dolls and figurines, people can write in, fold and tear pages out of their books, people can alter their clothes to their own liking and so that they actually fit. people can do whatever the fuck they want with their own shit, why are y’all so mad over something that isn’t and never will be yours?

#deity dialogue #y’all don’t get a say in what other people do with their own shit #it’s so irritating to me to see ppl go ‘you ruined that!!’ ‘how could you do that’ ‘you don’t deserve that item’#you don’t get a say plus you’re super annoying xoxo #I really wanted the vampire heart draculaura doll (and still do) but if someone completely customized her head to toe guess what!#I wouldn’t care that’s not my doll I don’t own her I don’t own that persons doll #actually I would care id probably watch the video or look at pictures and go ‘that’s so cool!!’ because i think doll customization is cool #I think it’s cool and fun when people do whatever the fuck they want with their own things #y’all are so precious and defensive of others peoples things and it’s weird #like what does this actually have to do with your life that you’re so pressed about it #i will say this however: ruining one of a kind historical items for the sake of it isn’t. great I’m not defending that #you may know what I’m talking about and you may not but I am mad about it still #but this post is about shit that I’d fairly in abundance #like books are printed every day even collectors dolls have enough in existence that it’s stupid to get mad about it #ince you buy a thing it’s yours to do with as you please #if it’s not harmful or hurting anyone why does it matter??

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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months

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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

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whimsycore · 5 months

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one things I've noticed is once you've been mobbed or group bullied before you see signs ahead of time and try to get ahead of the curb just to be let down again

I just started a new job, I started in person suddenly I was seen as "antisocial, loud, unqualified" and every sterotypical attribute to black people including being repeatedly called "prioritized" by people who have offices while i'm in a cubicle

I could tell by today (I told my boss I was getting my ID) they were purposefully trying to be frustrating and gaslit me about it

the girl who usually lets me in was no where to be seen and someone WAVED at me and kept walking, I was eventually let in and told how I was a priority and they weren't when they got their ID.

Along with people coming up to my cubicle to peek at me and leave

Along with that my landlord called me greedy after forcing me to go to the store with her like....theyre wild in this City.

#shit like this happened to me in school and now I cant be fooled by it #it comes from the big boss too thats what makes it worse #i trusted two people #and they spread it around #So one of the bigwigs that needed me to talk to him that called me antisocial I went up to today #I told him to give me the benefit of the doubt he gave every other new person and that i knew i didnt have a direct degree in the field but #ive worked before and can also get that degree in 18 months #he tried to gaslight me and tell me that wasnt what it was about and so i agreed with him and he said #'oh i was in the pet food business before this'#yt ppl love forced interactions and feeling like theyre breaking u #they dont think you deserve to feel strong or be by yourself like they used to own us why would they #i told that man 'he shouldnt assume im always confused and that I am very capable of doing my job #he was flabbergasted and before that was like :3 my door is always open #these people are 40+ and have belts of accomplishments and yet some blk girl being quiet unfurled them #these idiots dont know it makes make case if i wanted to sue even stronger

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cinnamon-toast-cronch · 2 years

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watching top gun getting nominated for prestigious awards while nope has gotten jack squat is my joker moment. if I have to to watch top gun maverick win a fucking oscar I'm going to go ballistic

#all these articles being like oh and of course top gun maverick and avatar way of wayer will be sweeping this season #excuse me 'OF COURSE???'#is this a bit are you all doing a bit #nope isnt even an indie movie it was literally a summer fucking blockbuster what is going ON #'top gun got people back ti the movie theaters' in what universe. did we all collectively firget no way home last year #am i being punkd for real like i feel like im going crazy #the only other movies ive seen ppl talk abt are the fabelmans and pinocchio #which. they were good #pinocchio i think deserves a lot #the fabelmans. was not exactky what i expected and definitely didnt feel like a love letter to movies #but i liked it it was cool #but. like.#of ALL the movies i saw this year #dude obviously its nope and eeaao #and now ppl r trying to sweep eeaap under the rug!!!!!!!#'it came out too early' 'its too weird for hollywood it doesnt have a real shot' 'it was overrated'#have you ALL lost your minds #i am so serious ig i have to watch top gun fucking maverick win a fucking oscar. dude.#TOM CRUISE??? SIJCE WHEN ARE OKAY WITH HIM AGAIN???#+ didnt they bend their asses backwards to bring back some old fuck but coukdnt even be bothered to ask the 1 woman in sight to come back #the gall of the same bitches who claim to be too good for the mcu to nominate military propaganda the movie for BEST FUCKING PICTURE????#also im sorry. did i hallucinate the mamdate that best pocture nominees must have significant diversity behind the camera or #anyway. i hate everyone goodnight #cereal.txt

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layalu · 7 months

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Hate how i got into the habit of (objectively!) criticising/pointing out flaws with my work to compensate being overpraised as The Gifted Kid TM & how it makes me sound like i'm being self deprecating

#its such a hard habit to get rid of #tbf its true im not the best at taking compliments but mostly im just. allergic to praise i dont deserve and/or that singles me out #and it comes up every now and then w irl ppl how i am supposedly constantly talking myself down #even though among my artist friends i am doing that the least amount!#like. guys. there is a difference between not giving myself credit and acknowledging flaws #bc belive it or not i can do that without feeling shit about myself!#and half the time im not even talking abt myself im talking abt others?#cus i hate when people talk themselves down and i will often chime in to say what i think theyre good at #and bc *they* start comparing themselves to me i will then counter with what they are better at than me #or that yeah maybe xy about mine is better but ive also got a lot more practice #and idk i genuinely dont belive that is being self deprecating???#if anything you acting like im a prodigy or sth is devaluing the time and effort i put in to hone a skill #which btw being able to feel ok about my skillset including the goods and bads is also a skill i had to learn!#idk.#lay rambles #sorry for the rant this is just sth i get frustrated about way too often #this doesnt just apply to art but thats where it comes up the most #actually im not done sorry #this specifically was in the context that we got a project graded and the teacher graded us by comparing projects #(which is questionable in itself but i digress)#& then when it came to me i argued that the person he compared me to deserved a better grade and then listed a bunch of reasons #bc she visibly put in more effort and had included things i hadnt and i thought the grade was unfair #and i never once said i thought mine was bad or didnt deserve the grade! but i know i did not put much effort into it and that this showed #and yes it still turned out visually nice; i got pretty good at getting the most out of the least effort possible #and i acknowledge that this is also a skill!#but also pointing out the very visible differences in quality and effort is not? self deprecating?? or am i missing something???#and then had 4 ppl calling me out later for talking down my own project smh #like guys at this point youre just projecting #ik im grumbling abt this way more than warranted lol but a lil venting never hurts

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