#sorry for the rant this is just sth i get frustrated about way too often | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

layalu · 9 months ago

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Hate how i got into the habit of (objectively!) criticising/pointing out flaws with my work to compensate being overpraised as The Gifted Kid TM & how it makes me sound like i'm being self deprecating

#its such a hard habit to get rid of #tbf its true im not the best at taking compliments but mostly im just. allergic to praise i dont deserve and/or that singles me out #and it comes up every now and then w irl ppl how i am supposedly constantly talking myself down #even though among my artist friends i am doing that the least amount!#like. guys. there is a difference between not giving myself credit and acknowledging flaws #bc belive it or not i can do that without feeling shit about myself!#and half the time im not even talking abt myself im talking abt others?#cus i hate when people talk themselves down and i will often chime in to say what i think theyre good at #and bc *they* start comparing themselves to me i will then counter with what they are better at than me #or that yeah maybe xy about mine is better but ive also got a lot more practice #and idk i genuinely dont belive that is being self deprecating???#if anything you acting like im a prodigy or sth is devaluing the time and effort i put in to hone a skill #which btw being able to feel ok about my skillset including the goods and bads is also a skill i had to learn!#idk.#lay rambles #sorry for the rant this is just sth i get frustrated about way too often #this doesnt just apply to art but thats where it comes up the most #actually im not done sorry #this specifically was in the context that we got a project graded and the teacher graded us by comparing projects #(which is questionable in itself but i digress)#& then when it came to me i argued that the person he compared me to deserved a better grade and then listed a bunch of reasons #bc she visibly put in more effort and had included things i hadnt and i thought the grade was unfair #and i never once said i thought mine was bad or didnt deserve the grade! but i know i did not put much effort into it and that this showed #and yes it still turned out visually nice; i got pretty good at getting the most out of the least effort possible #and i acknowledge that this is also a skill!#but also pointing out the very visible differences in quality and effort is not? self deprecating?? or am i missing something???#and then had 4 ppl calling me out later for talking down my own project smh #like guys at this point youre just projecting #ik im grumbling abt this way more than warranted lol but a lil venting never hurts

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