Hiya- I draw sometimes but this is mostly just full of reblogs- I have a wattpad full of random sancest things- My user there is the same as the one here- uh, please be my friend-
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Eli: i have come to ravish you, aesop
Aesop: we’re in the middle of a match, eli
Eli: fine i’ll just sit here consumed by lust for the rest of this match
Aesop: eli you have to FUCKING DECODE
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Aesop, right after saying something really fucking stupid: you know you love me
Eli, hugging aesop and kissing him all over his face while squeezing his hand: fucking prove it you little shit
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Eli: and as i always say, quality over quantity!
Aesop: for the last time that saying doesn’t apply to sleep!
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my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting
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First Husband
Joseph: You look like my first husband.
Aesop: You’ve been married before?
Joseph, smirking: No.
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I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING
RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO
COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER
FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Peter: Hey Mr. Stark, did you know that “thot” means “thoughtful person”?
Tony: Really? I didn’t know this slang.
*later*
Tony: Thanks so much for helping me with this, Pepper. You’re such a thot.
Pepper: *wheezing* I’m a WHAT?
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Who wouldn’t want to sit with a baby crocodile for a bit?
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*air horn sound*
*second air horn sound*
Vera: THIS ISN’T PERFUME
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Naib: I wonder what he's thinking about?
Eli: Yeah, he's always plotting something....
Norton: Who knows what his motives ever are?
Aesop: wii music plays in his head
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Aesop: we are going to die
Emma: think positively
Aesop: we are going to die quickly
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Aesop: What would the chef recommend?
Employee: Sir, this is a Mcdonald’s.
Kurt: Please excuse my dear friend, he is not familiar with american etiquette. What would the McChef recommend?
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Lucky: Aesop made me call people and tell them he was dead, to see how they would react.
[Flashback]
Aesop: Is she crying? Is she crying?
Lucky: A little.
Aesop, takes the phone: You should be wailing you stone cold bitch.
Aesop: Now call my other grandma.
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Eli: Look, you made Lucky cry!
Aesop: Lucky always cries!
Lucky: That’s not true! *cries harder*
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Norton: What is wrong with you!
Kreacher: I used no tear shampoo as a child and I haven’t been the same since.
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Kreacher: Due to personal reasons, I will not be helping you.
Jack: And those personal reasons being?
Kreacher: Oh, I just don’t want to.
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