omi-0mi

[omi-0mi]

Eli: i have come to ravish you, aesop

Aesop: we’re in the middle of a match, eli

Eli: fine i’ll just sit here consumed by lust for the rest of this match

Aesop: eli you have to FUCKING DECODE

[omi-0mi]

Aesop, right after saying something really fucking stupid: you know you love me

Eli, hugging aesop and kissing him all over his face while squeezing his hand: fucking prove it you little shit

[omi-0mi]

Eli: and as i always say, quality over quantity!

Aesop: for the last time that saying doesn’t apply to sleep!

[omi-0mi]

my wife is constantly mocking me for how lightly done I like my toast. “your hot bread is done,” she says to me. disgusting

[omi-0mi]

First Husband

Joseph: You look like my first husband.

Aesop: You’ve been married before?

Joseph, smirking: No.

[omi-0mi]

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

[omi-0mi]

Peter: Hey Mr. Stark, did you know that “thot” means “thoughtful person”?

Tony: Really? I didn’t know this slang.

*later*

Tony: Thanks so much for helping me with this, Pepper. You’re such a thot.

Pepper: *wheezing* I’m a WHAT?

[omi-0mi]

Who wouldn’t want to sit with a baby crocodile for a bit?

[omi-0mi]

ha hyes-

Ds Versions belong to onebizarrekai ☆

[omi-0mi]

*air horn sound*

*second air horn sound*

Vera: THIS ISN’T PERFUME

[omi-0mi]

Naib: I wonder what he's thinking about?

Eli: Yeah, he's always plotting something....

Norton: Who knows what his motives ever are?

Aesop: wii music plays in his head

[omi-0mi]

Aesop: we are going to die

Emma: think positively

Aesop: we are going to die quickly

[omi-0mi]

Aesop: What would the chef recommend?

Employee: Sir, this is a Mcdonald’s.

Kurt: Please excuse my dear friend, he is not familiar with american etiquette. What would the McChef recommend?

[omi-0mi]

Lucky: Aesop made me call people and tell them he was dead, to see how they would react.

[Flashback]

Aesop: Is she crying? Is she crying?

Lucky: A little.

Aesop, takes the phone: You should be wailing you stone cold bitch.

Aesop: Now call my other grandma.

[omi-0mi]

Eli: Look, you made Lucky cry!

Aesop: Lucky always cries!

Lucky: That’s not true! *cries harder*

[omi-0mi]

Norton: What is wrong with you!

Kreacher: I used no tear shampoo as a child and I haven’t been the same since.

[omi-0mi]

Kreacher: Due to personal reasons, I will not be helping you.

Jack: And those personal reasons being?

Kreacher: Oh, I just don’t want to.