#and when ppl talk about being in a relationship it’s like this super foreign thing to me that I don’t understand. but still I feel a certain

[tcotmc]

“I think I’m a spec” I say as I am religiously traumatized and on ssris and hrt

[bookscandlesnbts]

Not the same anon that before but I just wanted to react to the discourse. Scratch that ask if you don’t want to talk about it any further.

"Kpop idols pretty much only announce marriages (of course straight ones duh since Korea is super homophobic) and that doesn’t even go over well."

Here lies the whole problem imo. We don’t have to know about idols relationships, who they date etc, but the extreme secrecy around it is part of what drives the backlash once they announce their marriage or whatever. They shouldn’t have to go public about it, but just live their lives without having to live under complete secrecy. It’s probably a matter of cultural differences, ever since I’ve been into kpop it’s one aspect of idols life that I never understood. I live in Western Europe and here no one cares about celebrities dating, it’s totally normal. Sure, some hardcore fans might cry about it but honestly it’s pretty much a non issue. As long as idols continue to accept that life of secrecy, then unfortunately they’ll have to deal with those crazy bs reactions. That’s why personally I think Tae and Jennie have been really brave, they acted like a normal couple having a date night in Paris like any normal couple would have and they didn’t two fucks about it. It still sucks that people took pictures - it’s beyond me how people have the guts to take pics of ppl without their consent and drop it on the internet…- but I think that was an encouraging first time to show that they’re just regular human beings with regular love lives.

Hi anon. Don’t worry, I can definitely tell that you aren’t the same anon. I also think TaeJennie were brave. Idk why people skipped past the Paris thing or act like it didn’t mean anything because it was a huge step and definitely a choice. When Jennie’s phone got hacked and her private photos were leaked, they could have easily swept it under the rug and ignored it, but months later to hold hands and then she admits in a magazine interview that they are together? That’s huge.

I too am from the western world (the US not Europe) and I have a theory about why the idol culture is the way that it is there. And one of the factors I’ve always thought of is the size of the country. The US is huge. I don’t live anywhere near LA (a common place for celebs to live) and our transportation here is terrible so it’s not easy for me to get there. I know I would probably never see a celebrity. I feel so much more removed from them if that makes sense. But Korea is tiny in comparison. It only takes 4 hours by train to get between the two biggest cities on opposite ends of the country. I can’t even drive 4 hours and make it to a different state. I can see how the delulu there would be a lot stronger if you were in closer proximity to the idols. Even in rural parts of the country, distance wise you aren’t separated by much and one could theoretically move to Seoul easier than I could move to LA. It’s much easier to sell the y/n fantasy when you have a higher chance of being near an idol or a celeb in Korea. Just look at how many foreigners go visit Korea thinking they will run into idols (and some of them do). That’s crazy to me to want to do that but that’s not the point. I don’t know what it would take to shift their culture, but I suspect geography is a bigger part of the equation than people realize.

[txdoroki]

mina, jirou, momo relationship hcs

a/n: i feel like there isn’t enough wlw writing content at all on tumblr ... so have some mina, jirou, and momo relationship hcs :)

also i don’t expect this to do well, but there is a huge lack of wlw content, so i wrote it anyways for the ppl who struggle to find wlw stuff. cuz i get it i had to search far and wide for literally any wlw mha stuff :/ it’s the worst bro

also happy international women’s day! be sure to appreciate women and everything they’ve done for society :] (which is a lot!!)

genre: fluff

fem reader | warnings: none | words: 930

unedited

mina

-if you’re more introverted, she’d try and get you out of your comfort zone more often

-would always invite you to hangouts with sero, denki, bakugou, and kirishima

-at restaurants she’d love to order for you :]

-shows you off to people and is like “this is my girlfriend, she’s very fun!!”

-would love to make tiktoks with you. her followers love seeing you in her tiktoks

-she always smiles harder when you’re around, or at least that’s what denki and sero tease her about the most

-absolutely loves hugging you. her love language is touch

-always has a hand somewhere on you. your thigh, your arm, your stomach, your hand. she always needs to be touching you somehow.

-i feel like you both would finger paint together. she’d always badly paint ocean scenes and you’d paint whatever

-loves to put flowers behind your ear and take photos of you

-her lock screen is a photo of you both

-whenever you swap clothes to wear, she kisses the shirt/hoodie you gave her goodnight if she misses you a lot

-often texts you huge paragraphs at like 4 am confessing how you’re her greatest motivator and stuff

-she stays up so late just talking to people and watching tv, only goes to bed early if you say you’re worried about her sleep schedule

-teases you about silly things you say

-is extremely good at comforting you when you’re upset, although not the best with advice. she’s more good at empowering you to treat yourself how you should

-you guys are on facetime most of the day whenever you aren’t at school tbh. you guys talk about anything you think of.

jirou

-whenever you’re sad, she writes you a short song and plays it to you

-common dates are you both hanging out in an empty parking lot, sitting in one of your cars, blasting music that you both know all the words of, and scream-singing it

-ceo of nose kisses

-comes to you whenever she’s stressed and she just asks to hold you/for you to hold her. she loves both

-her comfort scent is roses, so if you wore a rose-scented perfume she’ll adore it

-literally buy a rose perfume and spray it on one of your hoodies and give it to her

-not one for a ton of pda, but will still hold your hand, or whisper little things in your ear about how pretty you look in what you’re wearing

-adores how wowed you are whenever she plays you even the simplest song. it kind of reassures her that she doesn’t have to work super hard all the time

-teaches you how to do your eyeliner rlly cool

-yk that one vid of that one girl laying on her girlfriend doing her makeup? you guys have done that before

-i feel like if you were into cosplay she’d cosplay with you

-is the best at advice. she’s been through a lot that she doesn’t speak of, so she knows how to help you with problems

-you guys have plans to own a quaint bookshop in a foreign country with cats

-you guys love to shop together and get matching outfits even if they’re “cringey”

-buys you a headphone neck pillow and says it’s to ‘remind you of her’

-you both simp for band ppl together

-you guys take so many photos in front of her instruments pls lmao that’s like half of her insta feed

-and the other half are songs she wrote. most of them are about you

-honestly she prefers keeping things private between you both, so unless you’re the one that wants to post a ton of stuff about your relationship, the outside world doesn’t know many details

momo

-always texts you goodmorning and goodnight. spells “i love you” out as well

-even when she’s sick she spells everything out. not exactly perfect grammar and everything, but she isn’t about to type a simple “ily”

-really appreciates whenever you take your time with her and allow her to be a bit anxious about stuff, especially if you tell her she’s not ridiculous for going slow and steady

-makes you small things with her quirk, loves seeing your bright smile whenever she makes you a small dinosaur or a heart frame or whatever it is

-often overworks herself trying to make you as happy as possible, so you try and remind her that she makes you happy even without effort, and it isn’t her job

-you’ve really helped her become more confident with her quirk, always calling it cool and stuff. it means the world to her

-likes having her arms wrapped around you, makes her feel like she’s your hero yk?

-your little words of encouragement motivate her to keep trying

-loves dressing up in fancy dresses with you and having tea parties

-favorite kind of tea is chai. also makes cookies and cupcakes for you both to eat at the tea party

-you often have to tell her that she doesn’t have to be the therapist friend always

-her hugs are warm and cuddly, and she often melts into your arms, especially if you both had a rough day

-she made you a huge chunky yarn blanket that was your favorite color for valentine’s day (not with her quirk, she handmade it)

-you knit toys for the animal shelter together

-she had to convince you not to adopt a kitten one day

-THEY WERE SO CUTE YOU WANTED TO SO BADLY

-whenever you’re sick with anything contagious , she buys an n95 mask just so you both can cuddle because she can’t fall asleep without being near you

taglist : @honeykami @frxggie @definitelynottrin @kiribis-confesion-page @thegayrubberducky

wanna join the taglist? click here!

[chemicalpink]

Hii I think it would be really interesting if you could tell about Jungkook soulmate. Like why are they so popular aside from being his soulmate, what makes them special spiritual wise. Because a lot of ppl say this person is super strong and have a pure type of energy. Please share more on that.

Okay, so I actually did more research for this than my actual undergrad thesis.

So first off I wanna say, this is the way * I * see it, from my 15 years of spiritual experience, there is obviously much more to it since astrological aspects and divination in no way defines a multidimensional human being and their connections to people, if you’d like to know something else feel free to ask, I’ll do my best to answer (with my own ethical limits and respectful of the privacy from the ones involved)

OKAY so, a crash course on soulmates, there are a lot of types and they may not present themselves as romantic partners, most of them, especially if karmic, will leave your side once they’ve helped you through something.

It’s kinda tricky to know if someone is your soulmate unless you can do an in-depth synastry analysis, which means knowing exactly the two charts, of course, on a personal level, if you are in tune with your own energy, you can come across people and tell they’re part of your soul family.  

So really, what has surprised me the most about the whole “JK’s soulmate” is just exactly *how* it came to be, did someone did a synastry with their own chart, saw karmic aspects and was like yeah I’m his soulmate, then transformed it into an oh he has a soulmate, or are we starting from this man having no filter and saying that he’s waiting for *the one*?

I really REALLY wanted to trace back to the first-ever post of him having a soulmate, couldn’t find it so all we can go from are tarot readings and really him saying he knows there’s someone out there for him.

Astrologically speaking many people analyze his Juno, but I’d say it’s in general… what he likes in a partner in terms of marriage.

Apart from that, as I’ve said before, all the info on his soulmate derives from tarot readings/predictions and some people that say they channel his higher self.

From my experience, yes, Jeon Jungkook is sure that he has a soulmate, that they are somewhere out there and that he’ll meet them sometime, he’s a big softie (we’ve talked about how he likes to always remind me in my readings that there’s a past-life partner, his true love, his soulmate)

Now, I hate to bring up couple’s therapy but a relationship is between two people, which means that as much as he is longing for this soulmate, this other person is on their own life path, we don’t have a chart for them obviously, so all we got left are general divinations, asking questions, getting answers from either tarot, charms, rods, pendulum, whatever, it is always us asking questions, plus, divination does not provide an accurate answer, they just read between the lines of present energy and provide a most likely outcome to situations.

As I said before, there’s a lot of *in between* information, like, do they know who their soulmate is, are they looking for each other, how is it likely to play out and out there, many people seem to talk about it, especially about this person being a ‘runner’ in the connection, saying that they will make Jungkook wait and a lot of stuff that to me, sounds like they are antagonizing this potential soulmate because let’s get real, Jungkook is a very sought after celebrity, so of course it makes sense to antagonize a potential partner of his.

The thing is, this man has no filter whatsoever, whatever awakening he’s through, he now knows that voicing his opinions on *finding the one* have come to bite him in the ass because there’s a lot of energy shifts, people manifesting him, self inserting themselves on the narrative that they are potential soulmates for whatever reason. I think there’s a blurred line between you know, doing a synastry reading with a celebrity and actually acting upon the astrological aspects, astrology is contextual, a big *most of the time* that is not a rule, so having karmic aspects with someone might mean you’ll get to know them, or it could simply mean that you came across them on their path as artists and they helped a lot through their art. Who knows. The universe knows, so if it’s meant to be, it will be.

Now, my take on the whole info that’s out there on Jungkook’s soulmate, (if they are the one appearing on the readings and not another partner)  from my experience reading for him.

People saying that they are older, mmmm yeah I kinda get where they’re coming from, if you are an intuitive reader, you get the ‘old soul’ vibe from reaching out to the connection, but as always, the universe doesn’t provide the ultimate truth, so I’d stick with *old soul* not older, they could be more mature, could be older, can even go as far as to say they’re more traditional. We don’t have a way to accurately tell.

People saying that they are a foreigner, I honestly- don’t know where this comes from, as I’ve said before, we don’t have an accurate way to confirm, just short term divination which means that whatever outcome people see is most likely from his soon to be partner or current partner, if his soulmate is indeed a soon-to-be partner and foreigner shows up, I mean yeah, could be, he’s an international artist, would make sense for him to fall for a foreigner as much as it makes sense for us foreigners to find him cute (?

That they see each other in astral/ through dreams. Well, I don’t know, I guess they could if they have the right mental space and a lot of spiritual work (? Soulmates are usually hard to reach honestly, cause what’s the point of getting to know them before they can be able to fulfil their earthly deed with you. I’d say that it’s more like the universe giving hints to the connection and not a one-on-one type of thing. Then again, why would you even go as far as to invade their astral privacy and get an answer about it (? Also, I need receipts on how exactly people got this info.

That his soulmate is a runner. Okay first off, don’t go and rummage into other people’s trauma and present it on the internet. A runner is supposed to be one part of the soulmate that is running away from the connection, while fully aware of it for whatever reason. Then again, how could someone possibly reach for some specific higher self if you don’t know who they are (? Entities are tricky, could be some other energy saying they are JK’s soulmate or another person that is manifesting them. There’s no clear way to know that any type of personal/spiritual info is 100% true.

His soulmate is someone spiritual. Probably, soulmates tend to have similar timings to their spiritual journeys, and while we don’t know who they are, we can see Jungkook being attracted to the spiritual so it’s only fair to asume they are too. I’d like to add on a personal note that I would say yeah, they are, and a strong one at that. Not because of any type of divination but because whenever I try to get info on them (by supposing they are a soon-to-be partner, reaching via Jungkook) it is very VERY hard to get an answer.

So in conclusion, please don’t forget that just as there is much more to Jeon Jungkook other than him being part of BTS, there is so much more to him than what the tarot or his chart says about him. It’s always fun to spill some tea on him and any other celebrity, but please remember that neither of those spiritual tools resonate fully with who he is, his preferences, his interpersonal connections or any other matter. They just see what’s there and are the *most likely to be true* answer, no one knows better than ourselves when it comes to personal info. Aside from that sure, perhaps there are ways to tell some deep deep answers about him and his soulmate via very hard concentration and connection processes but really- in this economy (? Why would you do that to yourself, we’re in the middle of a panini why would you sacrifice your mental health like that. Jungkook and his soulmate that he is so much as longing for is a personal connection between the two and sooner or later (ahem I’d say later) they’ll find each other.

With that being said and back on my silly self, all of this doesn’t mean I’ll stop doing love readings for him, I love roasting Jeon Jungkook (within boundaries) because he likes to piss me off constantly reminding me that I’m a lonely potato that has had (and lost) three soulmates.

[palmett-hoes]

7 for Andrew??

( ask game )

7. Exists as a pretext for the intellectual exercise of seeing how much textual support I can find for something patently absurd

okay well this isn't patently absurd it's actually a very sad and sadly very common story for a lot of kids, but i did spend a lot of time combing the books for evidence of andrew’s relationship with books and reading. him being a big reader is a super common headcanon in the fandom, and im sorry to tell yall that we pulled that one out of our asses. from what’s available in canon andrew hates reading and refuses to do it in front of other people. so, i concluded that andrew is in fact, dyslexic, and that reading is difficult and frustrating for him. he avoids it whenever possible, instead relying on audible information that seems to work best for his memory. it also tracks that he wouldn’t read around other people because it would be displaying weakness in his eyes for people to see him struggling

so, the evidence. i’ve searched the books by appearances of words like “book” “read” “paper” etc. most things i can think are related to reading yknow? and there’s not one instance in the entire trilogy of andrew reading anything, ever. in fact, he canonically hates libraries and refuses to go in them. one time he’s handed a packet of an opposing team’s stats and he crumples it up and throws it in his locker immediately.

to put it in perspective, most if not every other characters is shown reading at some point or another, it’s just in very short, missable scenic descriptors. aaron buying a book in the airport. kevin reading a magazine in the dorm. the upperclassmen hanging out and doing homework together. neil reading foreign news sites. it doesn’t seem like much but the fact that andrew is never actually seen reading anything at any point ever,, is actually somewhat conspicuous if you pay attention to the fact that well,, everyone else does.

there’s a handful of other details, mostly andrew’s phone. he has an older model that both essentially forces him to use it slower to type, as well as disincentivizes other ppl from texting him and expecting a quick response. he doesn’t text neil at any point except for the essentials of setting up the phone, and it doesn’t seem like he texts with anyone else either. he specifically tells neil to call him, not text.

so let’s backtrack. let’s talk about what it means for andrew to be dyslexic.

(um,, a lot of this is gonna be based on articles and studies i’ve read but i don’t really wanna make this an Essay i want to cut through the explanations and background info so i’m gonna be making some Statements. if you’re curious or confused pls send me a message and i’ll tell u what i had in mind/what i was drawing from)

thematically, when thinking about andrew’s background, the most important thing i keep in mind about andrew is that he has never been lucky, ever. he is consistently, over and over, handed the worst cards. he is born and raised in the foster care system, and even within this (basically inherently traumatic system) he is ONLY placed in bad homes. he says so. maybe they vary in their methodology, but they’re all bad. so then i have to extend this reasoning to the other parts of his life. he has bad teachers, bad foster siblings, bad case workers. no one CARES about this boy, no one looks at him, no one asks why he behaves the way he does. he gets written off, over and over and over again, in every part of his life. that is FUNDAMENTAL to who he is and what has shaped his views and personality as a person

growing up, no one helped him with his homework, no one read to him at night. probably he had very limited experience with books before he entered school. if andrew is dyslexic he would have struggled in school from very early on, and he would not be receiving any help or support at home. he never learned any skills or coping mechanisms for dealing with the fact that he mixes up his letters or that his head hurts when he looks at them too long, because no one is paying attention to him to notice these things. if he’d received help, if people had been patient with him, he probably could have learned to read just fine and could have done well in school with some accommodations. instead, he just learned to resent reading, to hate books, because people were always trying to force him into it the wrong way, when he was a square peg in a round hole and he needed to approach reading differently from the other kids. but no one saw that there was a problem that could be helped, they only saw HIM as a problem, so no one helped him. not his foster parents, not his foster siblings, not his teachers. so he has no positive associations with reading, it’s just a continuous negative in his life

his teachers especially saw his outbursts and his resistance in class. they didn’t see that he was an abused, traumatized (autistic) child with a learning disability who couldn’t convey to anyone that reading was frustrating and physically painful for him, that he only needed a little more time and a little more support. they only saw his “attitude” and the fact that he took longer than his classmates. so they labelled him a “bad” kid, a “stupid” kid, and they didn’t question that judgement further

no one saw that, if he was given that extra time to read and think at his own pace, that he was brilliant. that he remembered everything that was ever said to him, word for word. they didn’t notice his self-discipline. his skill at puzzles and mind-games. the way he could see right through people and predict with uncanny accuracy how they would act and react. how good he was at putting clues together. his incredible spatial reasoning. they didn’t start conversations with him long enough to realize that he was incisive and observant and clever. they didn’t notice that he was bright and inquisitive, if reserved. that because no one ever answered his questions he learned how to answer them himself. that he started trouble because he was bored and under-stimulated. all they knew was that he never finished his tests and that he couldn’t read aloud in class because everything in schools is levels and data and test scores and working under ridiculous time requirements.

so i don’t really like that common characterization of andrew as a bookworm who does well in school. we know that andrew is intelligent, it’s so obvious that he’s brilliant to us from reading the books, but that’s because we’re seeing him through neil’s eyes. neil who looks at and understands andrew more than anyone else ever has, who sees in him the things that other people miss. and that’s important, because people have missed the fact that andrew is smart. but reading books, getting good grades, eloquent essays, that’s all one of the most typical, the most universally recognized ways to be smart. and i think that’s an injustice for andrew as a character and what his story represents, because he represents all the kids that got missed and passed over and thrown aside for not operating “correctly,” for reacting to things the “wrong” way

there are so many ways to be smart, so many different kinds of intelligence that get dismissed and written off for not being successful in the very narrow set of skills the school system teaches. giving andrew the most classic and conformative and universally recognized signs of “being smart” (actively AGAINST his passive characterization in canon) is honestly a disservice to him. and that’s what i like about him being dyslexic, of him struggling in school, because he can still be smart, be BRILLIANT (because he IS brilliant) but in non-conventional ways

[rainbowrider1290]

My take on a Genshin Impact Circus AU Part 4 with Noelle as a strongwoman and Amber as a death-defying archery stuntwoman. Their backstories are under the cut!

Noelle:

First off I have a very self-indulgent headcanon that she is ridiculously strong. Like. Can benchpress people. Canonverse or AU.

She used to help out around the circus and she was kind of indifferent to the fact that she was likely going to be a maid. It's a respectable profession. And helping out at her childhood friends' (Kaeya and Diluc) manor as she'd been born into doing seemed like a good job.

How she got into the circus life requires a bit of backstory. Back when they were kids, Kaeya, Diluc, and Noelle would mess around (as kids do) and have little challenges for themselves. Who can run the fastest, who can do the best cartwheel, who can jump the highest, and the like.

Noelle got a little hesitant as she got into her early teens bc she was always told to be ladylike, so she spent one or two of their hangout sessions watching Kaeya and Diluc and talking. One day, however, Kaeya and Diluc are being Teenage Boys and lifting heavy things trying to outlift each other. Noelle has lifted furniture when cleaning up after these two so she figures this one unladylike thing would be okay.

She comes up behind them and just. Picks them both up. On top of the things they were lifting already. Kaeya and Diluc have to take a second and just look at her like "yeah no you are never sitting out of our competitions again"

And so they try other things like cartwheels and tests of courage like who can climb the highest on a tree and things are back to normal.

Skip forward a few years and Crepus dies. There's a huge mystery around it that not even his son's attendants are privy to. The only thing people know is that the sons have been sent away to boarding school. The whole manor is abandoned, all the workers fired.

Noelle for the next few years spends her time working at laundromats, and other odd jobs, but eventually she runs out of luck and suddenly there's too many people and not enough opportunities.

One of her friends from one of her old jobs invites her to go out and see this new circus that happens to be in town. She goes because why not. And wouldn't you know it one of the acts is her childhood friends doing these death-defying stunts that hit her with a wave of nostalgia bc their entire act consists of essentially the song "anything you can do" but with more and more dangerous stunts.

Noelle of course has to say hi, so they catch up and Noelle's lack of work comes up and would you look at that Aether and Lumine happen to have an opening for a maid.

So Noelle settles in, continuing to lift heavy shit to clean under it (Bennett swears up and down he saw her lift a fridge once but he might've been sleep-deprived). She also got into helping Chongyun with the techy stuff so sometimes she'll be at tech rehearsals moving things around and one time a rope holding up a person breaks near Noelle and she. catches it.

Now, one night. One of the acts drops out at the last moment bc injury or last-minute commitment or the like. And it leaves a gap in the show. Everyone else is busy. And panicking bc the circus is still relatively new and they really need to build their rep rn.

They start wondering what kind of last-minute acts they can put together like "what about the gymnasts??" "They all have group routines" "do they have old routines??" "Not polished enough for what we need" and someone somewhere pipes up "man I wish we had a strongman or something" and Diluc and Kaeya immediately whip their heads around to look at each other for like half a second before Kaeya bolts. He finds Noelle doing her usual rounds she's been doing for like a month now and Bennett was right, she is currently under a mini-fridge that she is lifting over her head whilst leaning it against a wall.

Kaeya takes Noelle by the shoulders and just zooms her over to where the commotion is happening and pitches the idea to Aether and Lumine. They're hesitant as hECK bc this is a huge risk they're taking since Noelle isn't even a performer but Diluc pitches that they could literally just scatter really heavy items and have Noelle clean under them and as long as she looks at the audience every once in a while it can be played off as a bit.

Noelle with qUITE the stammer says that she'll try her best but at this time is in need of a moment. She has never performed before. Kaeya and Diluc have to go perform so they leave her with a shoulder squeeze and a thumbs up.

She gets on-stage. She flinches under the lights for a second. She takes a deep breath and focuses on the first thing before her with her best "oh heavens, it's filthy in here", and she gets through the entire act by doing that for every object. So the audience is seeing this seemingly petite young girl lift the equivalent of a hecking car in order to clean under it.

Needless to say, there's roaring applause the second Noelle leaves (which she hears from far away because holy shit I just cleaned for people and they liked it)

This was a bit of a one-time thing and she goes back to her regular maid duties until the circus gets a new strongman by the name "Zhongli".

His style is more about lifting exTREMELY LARGE ROCKS, and breaking them in half whilst giving a history/geology lesson on them.

He quietly observes the maid who he hears fantastical stories of That One Time She Charmed An Audience By Cleaning. He was bewildered at first but saw the merit of it while watching her clean. He immediately decides that this girl has sO MUCH. POTENTIAL that is being wasted by having her work as a maid. He has nothing against maids or their profession, but he invites her to train with him.

Noelle gets hELLA stronger and they come to a conclusion. Noelle performs part-time and is a maid part-time. She doesn't have a particular performance style. She'll sometimes play catch with Zhongli and his big rocks, other times she'll be in the background of performers like Amber in the art lifting some hEAVY SHIT.

She gets along with Chongyun super well bc Chongyun has to make less trips to move his equipment since he's worked with her. She's a blessing for when they have to pack up and move.

Amber:

Amber's story is a little more straightforward. She started out engaged to a suitor. Amber was the kid in kindergarten who was learning about dragons and "idk what everyone else was doing". She's known what she wants for a long time, and what she wants at the moment, is not a relationship.

Throughout her childhood she was a very lonely child. Her family exposed her to lots of academic or ladylike things (do not ask me when this au is set, it's the 1800s and the 1990s at the same time or a suspendes steampunk time) to get her away from the thing she liked most: archery. She'd been exposed to it as a kid and latched on.

This drove a bunch of suitors away, so her family got more desperate and exposed her to more classes and activities to get her away from it. She went "that's easy, I'll just practice at night"

So she does that. She practices at night and underperforms in the coming weeks. It is during this time that her parents (high class ppl) find her a man to marry for some business deal idk.

The man's nice enough. It's just obvious he can only take Amber in small doses, and Amber takes full advantage of this to practice and stay in shape.

How Amber gets into the circus life was essentially running away. She bonds with Eula over this.

So because of all the attempts to make her fit into the ideal lady description, her rebellious streak said "yeah we're going to go as far away from that as possible" and she goes "I'm going to run away with the circus" bc that's what the books she's read say is the most rebellious thing you can do.

She finds THE FIRST circus she sees and begs to be let in. This is the shadiest most sketchy place but Amber sees it as the key to her freedom. She signs a contract.

They treat her like the US treats their students. She barely gets time to practice for performances and she's mostly doing dirty work. When they ask her what she can do she's like "I'm really good at archery" and they go "cool, you're going to be doing that while everything is on fire now. Can you do a handstand"

Essentially they push her and push her and push her to do more and more hazardous things she has to pick up on under the threat of being kicked to the curb.

After a while of this Amber is extremely burned out (pun intended) and as she's packing up after one of her shows, covered in burns but proud bc she hit all her targets without killing anyone, she's approached by a blond foreigner.

Tbh for all she's read, Amber really doesn't consider leaving and this time she can't run away since she's now bound by a contract (not Zhongli's btw in case anyone was wondering).

This foreigner tells her that there's so many ways to improve her situation and that he runs a circus looking for members.

Amber refuses since she's not getting tangled up in another legal mess, but she takes his advice on how to take care of her burns, and improve safety while she's performing.

Skip a few months. She hears word of this mysterious new circus around. Her encounter with who she'll later know as Aether stuck with her, and so she goes. To see whether she could really shoot her arrows without being burned alive.

After a show one night, she tries to get past security and fails repeatedly. She turns to leave and wouldn't you know it there's Aether. And Lumine. Waiting for her once she turns the corner. Amber's biggest concern is her existing contract and when Aether and Lumine say they have a nICE lawyer, Amber sees her next step to freedom.

Aether and Lumine essentially gain custody of Amber (but like for adults) and Amber is. Shocked. She's walked through her new contract of employment clearly and essentially treated like a human being.

And now that she knows things and has more freedom (though still under the watchful eyes of Aether and Lumine to see how she does) her creativity and competitive streak flourish. She decides she actually doesn't hate fire, she just doesn't like when she doesn't know when or where it's coming. And she makes fast friends with the gymnasts, so she ends up incorporating that into her routines. Now she uses her canon goggles to protect her from the burning eyes of prolonged smoke exposure when she uses fire.

When she meets a little pyromanic girl named Klee, she's thrilled that someone this chaotic and sure of herself exists.

[cant-think-of-a-username]

Hi!! I have never gotten this before so I thought it would be super cool to ask for one ahah

may i be matched to a haikyuu character? 🥺 thank you!! <3

Pronouns: she/her

Gender Preference: male

MBTI Type: I just took it for the 1000th time a few days ago and got INFP-T (but I would tend to also get ISFP dsfkjs)

Astrology Placements: Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon, Gemini Rising, Sagittarius Venus, Pisces Mars (if it helps)

Physical Description: long straight black hair that reaches the middle of my back, dark brown eyes (that apparently makes me look like i have eyeliner sometimes) with long thick black eyelashes, light-medium neutral skin, 5'5", i apparently have long legs, thick thighs, cute butt (LMAO im just listing wut ppl have described of me too sdfkj), soft hands with quite long fingers, pretty basic body i would say sdfjhsd, and i apparently make things look expensive (i love fashion) i would say the best way to describe what i wear is probably (dark) academia but i like just wearing whatever i like--i don't like to limit myself to a certain aesthetic.

Personality Description: with new people/in first meeting, i tend to be quiet or generally don't speak much but once i warm up to you, im a really playful person or at least i really enjoy acting that way.

im honest but i should remember that my words can cut sometimes (rip), ive been described to be incredibly kind (sdfkh)... maybe because i tend to put so much energy and effort and time into other people or my relationships (friends, family, literally anyone that comes into contact with me for a decent amount of time)

i tend to act or do things according to how i feel but despite having that trait of mine or having that inclination, i can still very much be realistic. as i act according to how i feel, i have been described to act younger than my age and i doooo and i aint gonna deny it pfftt ima OWn That sHiT

i have no problem with acting like a child. i love rain, i love water, i love the ocean, i love cafes or the smell of coffee, i love the smell of fresh laundry and feeling the warm fabric (caused by drying in the sun or from a dryer lmfao) of whatever it may be (clothes, bedsheets) on my fingertips..

i love self development or just trying to be better and combined with me loving or liking a lot of different things, i try a lot of things--therefore not really becoming a master at anything dkjfhfsd. and because of that.. (i think) because i try a lot, putting quite a bit of effort into my.. goals (i have perfectionistic and overachieving tendencies) i guess.. when it fails (ofc) im incredibly disappointed, and become pretty... fucking sad hhh and when that happens.. i start to become more lazy/complacent 🤡

..bonus (if u wanna sprinkle some "angst" i guess LMAOO): i overthink a lot (so i start to have difficulty making smarter decisions or thinking of strategies to solve my problems + i still have a sprinkle of self-esteem issues of course... feeling incredibly incompetent is not foreign to me) so i could exaggerate my troubles or make a problem out of nothing 😶, im quite emotional, i have the "dismissive avoidant" attachment style, feeling hopeless quite often aint foreign to me either 😭

bonusbonus: (wow dont i love talking about myself? sdfknsd) i love corgis

Hobbies: dancing, witchcraft, astrology, divination, spirituality, reading fan fiction (LMAOOOO), reading visual novels/playing otome games, painting, drawing, looking into psychology in some type of manner, netflix, swimming, watching anime i guess, trying new things, learning something (new)

Ideal Date: tbh going to a concert of an artist we both enjoy, an arcade or an amusement park (im like a scaredy cat but im almost 100% sure im more likely to go for the “scary” rides if i was with someone i enjoyed hanging out with anyway), probably going on a tropical vacation (cus, beach anddd water activities), water amusement park !!

A Must Have in my Partner: they have to be okay with me pursuing my goals lol; i already have a problem with putting too much energy into others that i dont get to direct that energy onto myself.. so someone who has my best interest in mind + being considerate of me (because.. of that dismissive avoidant attachment style i would say--im just saying this because its the best that i can describe it) and they should be okay with my childlike actions/tendencies lol (like... they shouldnt be repulsed or something like that--that they treat me unpleasantly because of it or something) (oops i just realized thats more than one when u asked just.. one)

extra information: a short drabble would be amazing !!

sorry this was pretty messy and i pretty much just babbled LMAOO

but again, if ever you get to do this (or even if u dont..)

thank you so much!!!

i hope you have an amazing rest of your day hihi <3

sorry it took me a while ! i was just really busy lately and barely got time to write 😅

hope u enjoyy :)

I ship you with..

Nishinoya Yuu !!

- You are the most gorgeous person he knows ;)

- he literally shamelessly approached u the moment he laid eyes on u

- even with ur somewhat quiet first impression, he never gave up making u eventually warm up to him

- doesn’t really mind brute honesty, in fact he thinks of it as a form of bravery

- he also loves seeing your childish side since he himself has one too

- wanna dance around in the rain ?? he will 100% join u !!

- he loves how determined u are to get better and will constantly tell u how proud of you he is for it

- even if things dont go ur way sometimes he will comfort u and tell u that its completely normal to fail sometimes

- there is no overthinking on his watch !

- noya knows how bad it feels and that u definitely deserve a little break but he wont let u laze around too much, trying to help u get back up on ur feet and regain ur confidence is something he never fails to do

- he loves watching u do what u love and is always willing to join u (not that he is always fully understanding of what he is doing)

BONUS :

Cheering you up on a bad day..

You were getting frustrated trying to fix a mistake you made on one of your paintings. You let out a loud groan hiding your face in your hands in exhaustion, finally giving up. Hearing a loud knock on your door, you tell whoever is outside to come in. “HEY, HOW WAS YOUR- ....day ?” noya looks at you with concern in his eyes. “are you okay ?” “yeah i’m fine, its just that this painting won’t look right no matter what i do” you sigh.“maybe i should just throw it away” “you are not gonna throw it away” he says, his tone completely different from before, more serious in fact. “you might just be tired now, so don’t you dare give up now. you can always try again tomorrow” he says walking towards you and holding your hands in his, a little smile forming on his face. “how about you take a break for now ? the sun is really warm and it’s still early; wanna go swimming ?” You look a little unsure. “you still haven’t used that corgi beach towel i got you” he says, wiggling his eyebrows. You chuckle at that, proceeding to look him in the eyes with a small grin forming on you face, “sounds like a plan”...

[demon-doppelganger]

hi there, could i get a demon slayer and assassination classroom matchup? i'm african american, japanese, and hawaiian with an afro full of ringlets, i'm only about 5'2" and have a green streak in the middle of my bangs. I really enjoy writing and singing is my secret talent. i am the friend that everyone counts and and by that i mean i love being there for people i've been told i give amazing advice and ppl feel better after talking to me i need physical affection (cuddles and hugs) 1/2

Sure! And sorry for the wait!

Demon slayer

I match you with Zenitsu!

Zenitsu is often seen as a coward and crybaby but despite those traits he still tries his hardest to reach people’s expectations. I believe he’d be your perfect match.

At first Zenitsu was the one to approach you, taken by your cuteness he asked you to marry him sounding rather desperate. After trying to calm him down you got to know his name and vice versa. 

After that day you two kept bumping into each other in missions and started to become closer friends. Zenitsu definitely had a crush on you and didn’t even try to hide it. He’d give you flowers and small gifts and always try to impress you even though most attempts would fail.

After a while he was the first to confess, he was a blushing mess during it. When you returned the feelings he almost fainted from how shocked and happy he was at the same time.

When he calmed down he had to tell everyone, even people he did not know that you two were in a relationship. 

Your dates would include going shopping together, stargazing, reading together and mostly spending time with each other.

Zenitsu just loves your writing and he’d beg you to let him read some of your works. He’d be super excited during it and give you his review on it. When he found out you also sing he couldn’t be more happy, he just adored your voice and wouldn’t miss a chance of hearing you sing.

If you sing to him to calm him down when he’s having a panic attack, this boy might get a heart attack from how cute you are. 

He is not used to physical affection so it might take some time for him but he one hundred percent enjoys your cuddles and especially your hugs. He feels much safer when you are hugging him.

All in all this precious boy loves to be in your company, he feels so much safer and calmer. He feels right at home.

Assassination classroom

I match you with Itona!

Itona is an intelligent and brutally honest boy. I believe you two would make an adorable couple.

At first taken from Itona’s reserved natura you’d have to interact with him. He is not a social individual but your calming and welcoming vibe seemed to let him open up a bit more about himself and therefore gain a friend.

You two started to talk more bit by bit everyday. And become closer friends. He really liked your writing and would ask if he could read more of your works. After finishing reading them he’d give his brutally honest review. 

He’d also ask if you could help him on his projects after school.That way you two would become closer friends. 

It didn’t take much time till a crush developed on you two. You’d have to be the first to confess though, this boy might be brutally honest but he has his own insecurities. He’d return the feelings rather nervously since the confession itself caught him off guard.

You two dates would mostly consist of sleepovers, playing video games together, amusement park dates and going to restaurants or cafes together. 

Itona is not familiar in the least with relationships so you’d have to be the more active one in the relationships till he is used to it a bit more. 

PDA itself for him is a foreign thing. Poor boy was confused when you hugged him. He’ll need some cuddling lessons since he absolutely has no idea what to do when someone is physically affectionate with him.

He’d mostly come to you for advice or just to talk about his current problems. Just as much as he likes someone to listen to him, he also likes to listen to other people talk about their struggles and also he’d try his best to give his own advice.

All in all he enjoys your company and is more comfortable around you than with most people. He feels as if he can let his guard down and just enjoy life without worrying about anything.

Hope you like them!

[petekaos]

bro, i've just watched my engineer and idk what to feel. like u, it's sad seeing how bohnduen ended being a couple who doesn't communicate well, to the point they had to break up! as i didn't know a s2 was a certainty, i was kinda surprised seeing so much angst a week before the last ep. now i realize we still have a long way to go... and i'm honestly scared. regarding bohnduen, i saw u saying "wheres the fluffy" and thought bout all the potential for them to be a great sweet couple and ugh now+

i'm sad. however, i'm glad they'll have a chance to learn from mistakes and hopefully will have a healthy relationship. that would be great even for us viewers, so ppl won't romanticize jealousy and will realize that love doesn't survive without communication and respect for others' boundaries. regarding mekboss, deep inside i didn't expect them to have a happy ending but it's breaking my heart seeing where this is going.+

i thought mek had already talked to fong, but he simply stopped seeing her(?). it's not even that surprising, bc mek does seem like someone who avoids conflict and doesn't know how to deal with it. and knowing the problems boss' actor caused, maybe the writers decided to break them up and have someone else on mek's life next season? or will they get another actor and we'll pretend he was always boss? hah+

or they can also pull the "he's studying in another place" card. nway, not that hopeful. NOW, RAMKING. king, sweetie... WTF? i knew king might have some lil gay panic but still wasn't prepared to see him avoid ram. this HURTS LIKE HELL. besides, i'm honestly worried bout ram's feeling. king was the person he trusted, he allowed himself to open up and his actions said a lot bout his feelings.+

what if he becomes insecure and step back? what if he thinks he can't let his feelings be known anymore? i saw u talking bout the kiss on the trailer but what if king turns away? what if doesn't happen this season? uGH MY HEART. how could things become this sad, bro? :( - emo sis

hiii my friend! i hope you’re doing well!

yeah... yeah. bohnduen were so good in the first half of the season and things slowly went downhill. what i’m really hoping for is that this was planned and they don’t get back together next ep, but rather talk about everything and the writers set them up to grow and communicate and get back together next season. i think that would be a super smart idea for a s2, regarding bohnduen at least. i do agree with what you’ve said, i don’t think anybody really thought it was unnecessary or dramatic for them to break up given their current situation, i just... expected the breakup this episode, not gonna lie. Oh Well. i hope the writers do them justice in the next season at least :((

regarding mekboss, i think you got the actors and characters mixed up? yeah, ryan, mek’s actor, was fired and so idk what they’re gonna do with their plotline. at the very best, let’s hope they do a sort of aepete from lbc thing and give them a good ending and then just say he’s studying somewhere else or is doing, like, a foreign semester or something. considering that his voice is already dubbed, i’m sure we could see some phonecalls or something. but yeah... i think boss just assumed he and fon were over and didn’t further talk to her. however, i agree, he does seem like the kind of person to avoid conflict so... i hope they get their happy ending, i really do. but ever since i found out about the drama with ryan, i prepared myself for the fact they might not end well :/

now, ramking. i kind of disagree with you on this one? i don’t think king is necessarily avoiding ram or that this is some sort of pure gay panic. i think this is more of the fact that ram and king got close and vulnerable very fast and that ram went from 0 to 100 real quick as well. up till this point, it was a lot of king taking care of ram, what from tutoring to helping out with his dad, but now ram is taking care of king and it just seems... new to king, who is sorta clearly someone who cares a lot about others but doesn’t expect any of it for himself, as evidenced by the solid advice he gave bohn. i think king needs time and i think it’s also necessary for us to see he needs time and see him step back and sort through his feelings as well, because it’s just... realistic. i don’t think he’s avoiding him, because he gave him a heads up, however indirect it may have been, the night before about spending time with his friends or whatever. and this is coming from someone who loves ram first and foremost... ram was hurt, yes. but he wasn’t mad, and he was sad during the night, but the next day when they were planting trees, well. he looked mostly concerned for king. i do think they will communicate next episode about it and i cannot wait for next saturday.

about the kiss: here’s how i think it’s going to go. considering the fact that it’s king who lunges for ram, i don’t think he’s... in his right mind. i think that either it’s one of the first or last scenes for their storyline next episode. there’s also an argument scene where king pushes ram away and says that he clearly doesn’t care about him (you can watch that in this fanvid here at around 10s, don’t have the trailer/teaser for it handy atm), which ties into my hypothesis. i believe, if the kiss is one of the first scenes, then it’s going to be when king is drunk or extremely emotional. this can go either two ways: either ram pulls away and kisses back or he pulls away because he doesn’t want to take advantage of king while he’s not in his right mind. if that’s the case, then i think the argument scene will follow, where king says ram doesn’t care about him (note how ram seems only worried in that scene and not mad or anything) and ram sort of talks him down and explains the depth of his feelings for him, and then they either get together or we have a happy open ending. if the kiss is one of the last scenes, then they will have that argument at first and ram won’t be able to talk him down and then perhaps they have a talk later and king kisses him to make him see how deep his feelings run for him. depending on if ram kisses back or not, well... there’s our ending. so those are two ways it could go with another two result scenarios in my opinion... but who knows? we’ll see next saturday. don’t lose hope, my friend, perhaps things will turn out okay!

[qqueenofhades]

Soooooo...did Lucy and her fake Croatian husband (that ALMOST KISSED HER BUT DIDN’T) ever meet again? And fall in love? And see more pretty places? And fall in love? And talk about their pasts? And fall in love? And maybe get naked even? The ppl wanna know.

(This is in relation to this prompt from the other day.)

I am sure that all of this did happen eventually, but after like… 200,000 words of Flynn spectacularly whiffing it first and panicking and turning up three months later out of the blue in San Francisco and acting like he totally had a reason to be there that had nothing to do with her, and Amy being Very Interested, and Lucy insisting that it was nothing, and Flynn also insisting that it was nothing, and being a horrible liar, and then them parting super awkwardly and it doesn’t seem like anything again….

….except then Carol dies a few months after THAT, and Lucy loses it a little and randomly buys a ticket to Croatia and ends up crying in the Stradun in Dubrovnik and doesn’t know what she’s doing there or what she expected or why she’s thousands of miles from home when her mom died, she should be there and dealing with it and not coming to pieces in a foreign country. Only then a hand touches her shoulder veeery awkwardly and she looks up and it’s Flynn and he looks as stunned as she does, and it’s a bit like “what are you doing here and having a breakdown in public and uhhhh what the hell is everything okay?”

and of course it isn’t and Lucy can’t really function or get the words out, so he takes her home and takes care of her and something sweet happens (a kiss or bed sharing or whatever) and almost something more, but Flynn refuses to take advantage of her when she’s grief stricken and etc and so Lucy goes home and takes care of the funeral arrangements. But she and Flynn stay in contact with whatsapp and text increasingly often and start having FaceTime or Skype calls almost every day and she goes back to Croatia in spring. Flynn has moved out of Dubrovnik and is trying to rebuild his life in Zagreb after running away post-Lorena and Iris dying, and it’s painful for him too and he has a lot of feelings about it, and at some point we get more backstory on Maria and Asher’s love story and Maria running away to Yugoslavia in the early 1970s and Feelings

and then they sleep together and Welp he has a breakdown over him now being in love with Lucy and maybe sorta kinda wants to start a life with her, but he’s back in the city where his wife died and she’s an academic from California this would never work and tl;dr he Flynns It Up in the bad sense of the word and runs away and everyone judges him

etc etc garbage, Lucy goes after him, they have more sex, they don’t talk about things and then they do, they are of course wildly and uselessly in love, but they don’t know how the long-distance thing is going to work. Lucy has an academic career in the US that she can’t necessarily uproot to Eastern Europe and Flynn isn’t real keen on moving to America for obvious reasons. So maybe there’s a Hades and Persephone element to their relationship with Lucy coming to Croatia every summer once school is out to spend it with Flynn and return to California in the fall, back to Croatia for the holidays, and finally Amy is like just… you need to be over there, figure it out

so Lucy is like…. really, should I uproot my entire life for a guy, but she wants to leave Stanford since academia is the worst etc, the complications with it being Carol’s department and legacy, and all that. So she looks into getting a job at a university at least in the same continent as Croatia, and ends up in Italy. Flynn moves there to join her, and they finally don’t want to leave again, and so they get married (for real this time) in a private ceremony in Venice. What comes next, they don’t know, but they will figure it out together.

(Untourist is extremely delighted by this and asks to use them in their ads.)

[trashbinbackyard]

of those you're comfy with.... first 10 for enrique, next 10 for trias, last 12 for harlei

I ended up deleting just few sfwGFBIÖ i feel nasty

Quique

🌟 What is my muse’s sexual/romantic orientation?

Bi as all hell

💦 At what age did my muse lose their virginity?

He was bit of a rascal (i guess he still is) and wouldn’t put it past him to have lost his v card in his late teens

😘 Would my muse have sex on the first date?

Would, and had back in his med school days

😊 Would my muse ever ask someone on a date?

Yes, he’s not a one to beat around the bush

👍 Does my muse prefer to be asked on a date, or would they rather do the asking?

Either is fine an dandy with him, he prefers asking though, admires the boldness is being asked

😉 What are my muse’s fetishes/kinks?

A lingerie kind he didn’t know he had, and although he’s a surefire verse, top him

💬 When did my muse go on their first date?

Again, prolly in his teens, a super awkward cafe date that ended less awkward when they hit an arcade and toss the traditional date out the window

💯 What is my muse’s ideal date?

Something fun, preferably something active like bowling, arcade, skating etc

💗 Has my muse ever been in love?

Yes, Juno now, Hazel before her, unsure about any previous ex

👠 What was my muse’s last serious relationship like?

With Hazel, unpredictable, yet surprisingly stable given their jobs, endless teasing from Harlei, it was pretty casual, just a kiss here and there on the ship, share the bed, neither felt a need to make it into a big dead 

Silly girl

👰 Would my muse ever get married?

No, potentially being even in a committed relationship would be a huge step for her

🌼 Would my muse prefer a big wedding or a small wedding?

If it ever came to that, it would be, to put it shortly, a small circus, not that many people to attend but make it up by destroying the venue and get the whole party arrested at the end of the night

🍬 Is my muse a sub, dom, or switch

Dom-ish switch 

🎆 Is my muse into monogamy?

Doesn’t know yet, whole concept of relationship is foreign to her, likes to keep things fun and casual, despises the f-word (feelings)

💕 Would my muse ever be in a polyamorous relationship?

Sure, as long as it’s healthy

🔥 Would my muse ever be up for a threesome?

Again, sure, but wouldn’t suggest it herself, could agree to one

💔 What was my muse’s first heartbreak?

Can’t have heartbreaks if you ain’t in love in the first place

💑 What are my muse’s requirements for a potential partner?

Fun, likes morally ambiguous people, easy to talk to, likes listening to her wild conspiracy theories, must be willing to help her out with one (1) bloodthirsty machine assassin that’s coming after her in couple of years

Slutty girl

💋 How many people has my muse slept with?

She has lost count

👀 Is my muse the type to sleep around?

When not in a relationship, serious or seeing if it could be serious, she’s a ho but a loyal ho

👎 Would my muse ever cheat on their partner?

Absolutely not, but petty enough to get revenge after a breakup

💲Would my muse ever date/marry/sleep with someone because they were rich?

She’s pretty loaded herself so not really just bc someone is rich

👓 Would my muse ever lie for sex?

No

👿 Would my muse ever blackmail someone into sex?

Nope, no guilt tripping no blackmailing, everything has to be consensual and both (or more tbh) having a good time

🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?

Well, some ppl already know of her and alecto so…. Maybe Enrique, but she respects him and hazel too much to actually do something like that

💍 Has my muse ever had a one-night stand?

Plenty

💝 Does my muse like Valentine’s Day?

Loves the chocolate and trashy lingerie, she ain’t harming anyone

💘 What are the ways my muse says ‘I love you’ without actually saying it?

Being backup for your bf when he confronts his dad, willing to match her partner’s pace in a relationship, loving teases and silly nicknames, opening up about her feelings, trust in general etc

[trunaturalista]

Costa Rica: The Solo Traveler.

I have received so many DM’s and texts regarding my trip and I wanted to share a few answers. Please reach out if there is something I did not address. 

Did you use a travel agency for your Costa Rica trip?

Absolutely not. The only time I’ve used an agency was when I went to Dubai and that was only because I was traveling to the Middle East. I planned this entire trip myself. I found a great treehouse to stay in with wonderful owners that made the entire process seamless and meaningful. Google.com. Booking.com. Search for exactly what you want.

Did you stay on a resort?

Nope! I stayed in a treehouse/villa apartment vibe. It was gated, but anyone could honestly access if it really was that deep. This was one of the most amazing places I’ve stayed. I met all of the owners and they ensured I was happy, safe, each and every day. If you are afraid of bugs, lizards, monkeys, snakes, well the wilderness, do not do it to yourself. You will not make it, lol.

What made you select Costa Rica for your first solo travel trip?

It’s literally one of the top places for female solo travelers. Literally….do your research on every country, city, village you want to travel to and read articles. Check stats. Research crime. Costa Rica has always been on my very long bucket list and it seemed kind of perfect.

It is rainy reason, but I believe this season really gave me an opportunity to relax, release and think. It rained a lot at night and that is when I wrote, read, and meditated the most.

I really wanted to stay in a village to get the true experience although…many thought this was beyond dangerous. Most did not speak English at all and you have to be prepared for this. I loved hearing about the history of the village from the locals.

Costa Rica is the safest country in Central America…:)

This trip allowed me to travel on a small plane. I had to fly into San Jose and then take a domestic flight from San Jose to Tambor. From Tambor, my taxi ride was 45 mins to the village and to my treehouse. It was a lot of travel, but it was exactly the experience I wanted.

Were you scared? Did you feel unsafe?

I absolutely was scared…who would not be? I am always a little anxious before traveling to a new place, but it’s not a bad feeling – it’s like a rush, really. Like wow, I’m really doing this! When I arrived at the village and even when I landed in San Jose…there is not one moment when I felt unsafe. Everyone was warm, welcoming, and willing to give me information if I had a question about something. When I was out on my Quad and it had issues reversing and switching gears, someone was always willing to help. Even if they did not speak English, they still wanted to make sure I was good. Never felt like I was going to be snatched or sold into sex trafficking as so many people chimed in my inbox.

Why solo travel?

I’ve learned that people are extremely disappointing and will bail on you at any minute when it comes to travel. I told myself that when I turned thirty, I would embark on this solo travel journey for a number of reasons:

The trip was about me! I could do what I wanted, when I wanted, how I wanted, hell I sat around naked for hours doing absolutely nothing but thinking about how blessed I was. My daughter. Future plans. My friendships. Relationship. Everything.

I was 100000% selfish. I spent money money! Bought what I wanted. I ate what the fuck I wanted. When I wanted, woke up when I wanted, drank when I damn well pleased andddddd was just naked as hell in the rainforest. I called the damn shots.

Man, I was able to recharge. Lowkey, but highkey, if you know me, I’ve been through a lot of shit the last year. Relocating twice. Job switches. Adjusting for both myself and my beautiful child. I’ve lost and gained friends. This trip gave me the space to recharge my mental, physical and emotional being. It was so necessary.

I love vulnerability. Like, solo travel is the ultimate way to put yourself in a vulnerable situation. Listen, I’ve moved to two places with/out any family or friends in sight – that is vulnerability. But, traveling to a foreign country solo is another level. It’s scary, but it’s a cool ass vibe man. With this….you can accomplish anything.

I needed and wanted to create a space to heal. That is all I can really say on that.  

I needed to find myself again. I get lost, found, lost, found. It’s nice. Meaningful. You literally have nothing but time to think about any and everything. It’s quiet.

Solo travel is super empowering. It’s only lonely when you decide not to go out and meet, talk to and explore, honestly.

What did your family and friends say?

Loaded question! 

Listen, my mom was excited but worried as any mom should be. My dad was on some ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT ‘ASHA and probably didn’t sleep the entire time I was gone. My sisters were all for it and encouraging. My closest friends were super happy for me. My man-panion was worried, but also excited because he’s traveled solo abroad as well. So many folks in my messages with envious messages and words of encouragement. Felt great. But, there were a lot of ppl in my inbox spewing negativity. “You are crazy” “You can be sex trafficked” “It’s stupid to travel alone” “what about Zarah” “you wilding” blah blah blah etc etc etc. Thank God I am in a much better space now, otherwise I might have reacted negatively. I chalk it up as projection (clearly they do not have the vagina to live life out loud) and keep it pushing. And thank Allah that I have a hefty life insurance policy.

How much was your trip?

Stay out of my pockets, playa, lol.

What tips do you have for female solo travelers in Costa Rica?

Research the city/village you plan to stay in. How do they dress? What is around? Are there things to do? Is crime heavy? Try to dress the part. The less you look like a tourist, the better. Bring boots or some sort of heavy duty shoe. Cover up!

Walk fast. Yo, keep it pushing. Get to where you are going to get, period. Google maps!

Keep cash in multiple places just in case you are robbed. Let’s be honest…crime happens everywhere and if you look like a tourist, you are in a vulnerable position. Keep cash in your bra, you backpack, your shoe, your pockets. If you are unfortunately robbed, they won’t get to all of those places. I cannot express this enough!

Do not be afraid to speak to strangers. You honestly do not have a choice. I mean, you could sit around and simply not socialize with anyone, but that really is no fun. This trip gave me an opportunity to put myself out there and talk to people in my broken Spanish ways, lol. I was forced to make friends. When I went to yoga, I met three people from Washington D.C all of which were female and in Costa Rica alone – it felt great. Had I not opened my mouth, I would have never met those travelers.

Solo travel means you are not splitting the cost of anything with anyone – it can be costly. Save up for solo trips and accept that you are going to have to drop some bread to enjoy yourself, depending on what you want to do. Luckily, $1 USD = $568.26 colones so I pretty much balled out in that village, lol. Food was cheap. A whole meal could be about 3000 colones, which is only $5.00 in USD. And by whole meal, I mean a whole Red Lobster meal for $20.00. Like, I’m not kidding.

Alcohol – Well, due to recent “deaths” due to Costa Rican alcohol, I was definitely on super high alert. I brought my own American shots to Costa Rica and visited the village market for wine. I only purchased wines that I knew were sold in America and that were not made in Costa Rica as a precaution. I did not drink at any of the bars in Costa Rica when I was out to eat because I had everything I needed at my treehouse. It made sense. Always be safe. I was not too alarmed by the number of deaths considering the millions of people that travel in and out of Costa Rica daily, but still.

Please pack bug spray and sunblock. Listen, the bugs are looking for blood and Costa Rica is way down by the equator. The HEAT HITS DIFFERENT OK. Protect your skin at all times! Plus, there are a lot of questionable bugs that I know bit me, lol.

What were your struggles?

I worry a lot. I’ve always been a worrier as my mom says. When I could learn what it meant to worry, I started lol. I worried about so many things, but I didn’t let it overcome me.

The village was intimidating – at first. But, once I got out there and drove around, I was cool.

My ATV/Quad had major struggles, lol. The first night I went out for dinner at this place called Koji’s and I couldn’t get the damn thing to start or reverse. A man saw me struggling and started walking my way. I’m thinking….OH GOD, it’s over for me, lol. But, he came over and got me on my way. I was grateful and he….was harmless.

I am not super friendly, but I’m not mean. I struggled with walking up to strangers and asking questions. But, I did it. It was awesome and I met some amazing people! 

Interesting thing happened:

On my flight from the United States to San Jose….there was a mother and her small child, maybe 6 or 7 months old, traveling to Costa Rica alone. She happened to be walking by my seat on the plane and started to have a seizure out of nowhere. The flight attendants were asking who could hold the baby and no one wanted to hold the baby. 

This was happening right next to me. 

There was a doctor and two nurses on the flight and they confirmed that she was having a seizure and that we had to let it pass. Mind you, this baby was screaming bloody murder and needed a damn diaper change. Finally, she wakes up and explains that she has never has seizures before and she seemed fine as she grabbed her baby. No less than twenty minutes later, she starts having another seizure and we embark on an emergency landing into San Jose. As for anyone….this gave me major anxiety. I started to think…what will happen to me if I have a seizure? I have no one around. Nobody knows my health history. Anxiety began to really whoop my ass due to this horrible event. I was able to breathe, push through, etc. Prayer, meditation, faith in God, really.  

Summary?

This trip taught me that there is nothing to fear but God. And (as my friend says) that the world is big and you are safe in it. I feel like a new person. I feel refreshed. Renewed. Free. I feel like a got damn beast. I feel strong. Empowered. Powerful. I feel invigorated. I feel sanctified, damn I feel liberated. Ugh. Go for it. Travel solo. I cannot wait to book my next destination and share it with you all.

[sagemoderocklee]

How is Lee's relationship with Temari and Kankuro? And Gaara's with Gai, Neji and Tenten since they are pretty much Lee's family?

Lee is so lovable it’s hard for anyone not to like him. He’s always incredibly nice, respectful, and just super thoughtful. I think Temari honestly thinks of Lee as another little brother. In my mind, Temari feels like she failed Gaara as a big sister when they were growing up and is always--unconsciously--trying to make up for that by being a supportive big sister, and I think she does that with Kankurou too, and when Lee becomes more of a staple in their lives--first as Gaara’s friend, then as his boyfriend and so on--she does that with Lee too. 

And I think with Lee, he’s so much more reckless than her actual brothers, and she feels like she has to make sure to watch out for him because when he’s in Suna Tenten and Neji aren’t around. Gaara of course knows how to reign Lee in when he’s being reckless but there’s also an emotional recklessness to Lee that Gaara just isn’t so good at approaching because he’s just not great with that stuff. So I think Temari is very much this big sister to him too. She’s not like overbearing and it’s not like she’s going around like “make sure you eat your vegetables” because that’s not who she is. But she’s a voice of reason, she’s the person you can go to for advice. She’s smart, she’s cunning, she’s strong, and she’s super supportive.

I think Lee’s actually kind of scared of her at first. Like Gaara’s big sister--what’s she gonna say or do if she finds out Lee has feelings for Gaara? Will she be okay with it? Will she hate him? Temari isn’t as warm as Tenten, no one in Suna is quite as soft. Everything in Suna takes getting used to including the people. But eventually he stops being intimidated by Temari because she really does care about him and is clearly grateful for what he’s offering Gaara. 

Kankurou very much just loves teasing Lee. He teases everyone. Lee figures out eventually--with Temari’s help--that that’s just how Kankurou shows affection. He’s not good with being vulnerable and expressing emotion, but he likes to tease people he cares about. If he doesn’t tease you, he probably doesn’t like you. If he’s quiet around you, he doesn’t like you. If he’s completely expressionless, he doesn’t like you. But Kankurou has always called Lee Bowl Cut, so Lee realises it means he likes him. He doesn’t ruffle Lee’s hair the way he does to Gaara, but he does sometimes playfully punch Lee’s shoulder when they’re talking and laughing about something. And once Kankurou asks Lee to spar with him so he can test out some new puppets, Lee realises that Kankurou definitely does like him. I think Kankurou honestly has similar feelings about Lee as Temari--grateful for his presence and also a little bit boggled by it too. But Lee’s endearing in a way no one else is, and even Kankurou can’t deny that.

I think eventually the two of them feel very protective of Lee, and they express that in their own ways depending on each situation. 

As for Gaara’s relationship with the rest of Team Gai... 

Gai-sensei baffles Gaara, but he also respects Gai-sensei and what he means to Lee. I don’t think he’ll ever really understand the man, which is hilarious because he understands Lee just fine--but it’s amazing what emotional investment in someone can do. I do think that part of his issues with understanding Gai-sensei are the fact that he’s like a father to Lee and Gaara just doesn’t get that. He doesn’t really get what a father-son relationship should be, and he really can’t wrap his head around someone who isn’t biologically related to you or through marriage being like family. He’s very literal, and while he understands strong emotional attachment, I think he tends to just categorize everything--friends, family, romance, teammates, village. So for him Gai-sensei should be ‘teammates’, but it’s obviously not for Lee or Gai-sensei, so he’s just like “family?” and then thinks about his dad and his uncle and the pain they caused him--the only two paternal figures in his life were so horrible to him and he’s just at a loss. And then Gai-sensei does the unthinkable and says something about Gaara being a part of their family and Gaara is just absolutely floored. There has never been a time in his life where he’s felt like someone’s son, and Gai-sensei is really out here Doing That. 

I think Gaara’s is secretly a little uneasy about Gai-sensei at times, honestly. He’s respectful, of course, but he doesn’t know how to talk to the man and he doesn’t know what to think of him saying things like “you’re a part of the family”. 

Tenten and Neji are easier, tbh. Neji is intensely wary of Gaara at all times, but eventually it does subside, but Gaara can deal with ppl being wary of him. That’s not foreign or unsettling. That’s just his life. It’s what he’s used to. It’s what’s always been the case for him. And Neji isn’t as loud as Gai, so that makes it easier too. The four of them can go out to lunch--Lee always calls these double-dates--and Neji and Gaara don’t need to say much or talk too much to each other because they aren’t exactly chatterboxes as is, and no one’s gonna bat an eye or feel like they’re being rude. They can co-exist and be respectful of one another, but they don’t need to be close. Neji obviously doesn’t get what Lee sees in him, but he also doesn’t say anything and isn’t trying to discourage Lee from spending time with Gaara so Gaara can accept that Neji might not be so sure of him. Gaara’s also just more used to people expressing themselves the way Neji does, so it’s comfortable. As time goes on, Neji obviously does warm up to him, but they aren’t close. Friendly acquaintances, but they don’t need to be close. Gaara isn’t like Lee. He doesn’t make friends the same way Lee does, so he doesn’t need Neji to like him. He just needs him to accept and maybe approve of his relationship with Lee. Which Neji does. He supports Lee. He wants Lee to be happy. 

At some point, Neji and Gaara do actually talk and Neji admits that all his reservations are honestly just remnants of watching Gaara nearly kill Lee. He sometimes doubts Lee’s judgement because Lee wants to see the best in literally everyone, but Neji isn’t an idiot and he knows that Gaara has changed, is a better person, and that he loves Lee. It’s acceptance which is all Gaara needs. After that they exist a little bit more easily around each other. It’s a subtle shift, but its there and it puts Gaara at ease. 

Tenten is entirely different. She acts with Lee in a similar fashion to how Temari acts with him, but again he obviously doesn’t have the same effect on people that Lee does so she starts out really unsure of him but gradually warms up to him. There’s never really a transition from “my best friend’s boyfriend” to “like a little brother to me” because he really doesn’t open up with people the way Lee does, and ultimately he knows the biggest obstable that Tenten and Neji face with letting themselves be less formal around him is that he’s the Kazekage. They’ve known him for years, he’s a year younger than they are, but he’s still the leader of an entire village, so even though Tenten has always been a lot less wary of him and lot more relaxed with his relationship with Lee, she obviously still retains a respectful distance as a foreign shinobi. She’s still warmer and more friendly than Neji, though not quite as warm as Gai who has like no sense of decorum because as far as Gai-sensei is concerned Gaara is family now

I think ultimately, the things that keep Neji and Tenten from being closer to Gaara are 1) the fact they don’t see him as often--Lee literally lives with the Sand Sibs so of course they all get incredibly close, whereas Gaara only ever visits Konoha on occasion. Obviously Neji, Tenten, and Gai (and by extension Kakashi) have an open invitation to stay at the Kazekage Residence when they visit Suna, but again those visits are still sporadic at best. 2) he almost killed Lee that one time and Neji especially isn’t quite over it since he actually saw it. 3) he’s the friggin Kazekage and they really just don’t... know... what to do with that. Like he’s dating their best friend/teammate who’s like a brother to them, but also... he’s still the leader of an entire village and capable of literally killing you just by squeezing his hand. 4) he’s just not as open and talkative as Lee, and it still amazes them that Lee and Gaara are together sometimes because they are so so different. 

But that all being said, them not being closer to Gaara doesn’t mean they don’t like him or respect him or aren’t happy that Lee is with him. They are fully supportive and happy to see Lee so happy. 

[everythingbiggerincanada]

1. What is you middle name? Davis

2. How old are you? 26 turning 27 soon..

3. When is your birthday? Feb 4th

4. What is your zodiac sign? Not sure tbh I was told Aquarius

5. What is your favorite color? Purple

6. What’s your lucky number? Ummm 99 I think

7. Do you have any pets? No but im gonna get a dog

8. Where are you from? Scarborough Canada

9. How tall are you? 5'10/11

10. What shoe size are you? 12

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 8 or 9

12. What was your last dream about? I dont dream but if I do its generally a nightmare. My last one though was about a girl I know and how we were playing cod and I tickled her. But thats super odd for me.

13. What talents do you have? I not sure. I like to game and sing, shoot guns and used to love jumping outta planes until my injury. But I can cook?

14. Are you psychic in any way? Nope

15. Favorite song? Right now its You Broke Me First

16. Favorite movie? I just watched a movie called The Hate U Get. That was incredible I also love Harry Potter

17. Who would be your ideal partner? Who, thats easy, but I keep fucking up good relationships. At least this past year so atm no idea.

18. Do you want children? I thought about it. And honestly not unless my wife did. I would want to be a dad maybe someday but only after I get my wife all to myself for a year lol..

19. Do you want a church wedding? Maybe. Honestly would like my wedding on my family estate

20. Are you religious? Used to be. Now I have a tenous relationship with God.. I used to believe but everytime I needed God he was no where to be found...

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yeah more times then I could count.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? When I was a kid like 5 I stole a candy bar and got caught. But no police just an ass whooping from hell

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? Yes I have. A few

24. Baths or showers? Both. I like to bath then shower

25. What color socks are you wearing? None atm

26. Have you ever been famous? I guess. Depends on how you define fame..

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? No

28. What type of music do you like? Hip-hop, Rnb, Pop, some rap. Etc

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yes

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 4

31. What position do you usually sleep in? My side. I like to cuddle and its more comfortable. Hard for me to sleep any other way

32. How big is your house? Its not huge. Its enough for now

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Oatmeal or eggs or bagels!!!

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes several and often. I was military

35. Have you ever tried archery? Yes and im no Robin hood

36. Favorite clean word? Eh

37. Favorite swear word? Fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 4 days I think

39. Do you have any scars? Yes several. My biggest one is on my leg. And I got one from being stabbed

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Yes

41. Are you a good liar? No.. It starts eating me away. I get sad after awhile. Its easy to tell

42. Are you a good judge of character? Yes for the most part

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Lol no but I try anyways

44. Do you have a strong accent? I dont think so but some would say yes

45. What is your favorite accent? French

46. What is your personality type? I have no idea. I'm very domineering

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? Umm my suits

48. Can you curl your tongue? Lol kinda?

49. Are you an innie or an outie? Ummm 🤷‍♂️

50. Left or right handed? Right

51. Are you scared of spiders? Not the small ones

52. Favorite food? Chicken 😂

53. Favorite foreign food? Popish

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Messy

55. Most used phrased? Get Fucked

56. Most used word? Umm

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? Not long

58. Do you have much of an ego? Yes

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Depends lol. Ill suck on it if I enjoy it

60. Do you talk to yourself? Yes

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yes

62. Are you a good singer? I've been told yes

63. Biggest Fear? Not being good enough. Not feeling ok

64. Are you a gossip? I tend to talk shit but im learning thats part of my bigger issues im working on 🤷‍♂️

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? The Hate U Got

66. Do you like long or short hair? Both

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Yed

68. Favorite school subject? History

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Extrovert I think. Well post covid

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Yes

71. What makes you nervous? Large crowds. And certain ppl

72. Are you scared of the dark? Yes. Im afraid of what I cant see

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Sometimes

74. Are you ticklish? Yes but if you try and tickle me ill probably lose it lol

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Yes

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Yes alot

77. Have you ever drank underage? Yes

78. Have you ever done drugs? No except edibles

79. Who was your first real crush? Shekinah was I wanted to marry her

80. How many piercings do you have? Zero

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ lol not really

82. How fast can you type? Depends on if you want full complete sentences that makes senses or a bunch of bullshit lol..

83. How fast can you run? Pretty fast or i used to be able too

84. What color is your hair? Dark brown

85. What color is your eyes? Brown

86. What are you allergic to? Penicillin

87. Do you keep a journal? Actually I started writing on this site that allows for anonymous "stories" or just a place to express yourself. Its been really helpful. My doctor recommended writing out how I feel could help since I struggle with being honest about my struggles...

88. What do your parents do? My father passed away and my mom is retired

89. Do you like your age? No I feel old

90. What makes you angry? Depends. I dont often get angry but hurting people I care about will do it

91. Do you like your own name? Its ok. I prefer Davis over Connor but its who I am

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? No not really.

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Girl

94. What are you strengths? Leadership, staying calm under pressure, being able to focus when its hard. Honestly their are a few things but right now I feel like I have alot more weakness...

95. What are your weaknesses? That would be way to long of a list and im not sure id want Tumblr to see it

96. How did you get your name? My momma named me after atv show...

97. Were your ancestors royalty? Yes

98. Do you have any scars? Yes several

99. Color of your bedspread? Grey and black

100. Color of your room? Off white

[jelly-omelette]

Today I felt emotionally stable. I got a solid amount of work done even though I worked four out of eight hours. I had fun texting Jess. I want to call them hiro. I like flirting w them. Tho I would like to get to know them better. I don’t want to rush into anything and I wanna feel calm n comfortable around them. So far I am. I have yet to find out if we compliment eachother and if we will mesh. I think I just want to be myself around them and not worry too much abt labels or expectations. It’s good so far cuz I think we have common interests and shared hobbies like video games. So I def feel like we can bond as friends over that. And then maybe it’ll grow into something more or maybe it won’t. Kinda hard to know this early on. It’ll take time for me to feel comfortable opening myself up to them. I’m not gonna throw myself out there too soon and reveal all my cards. I’ll keep it reserved and wait for them to make some moves first. Seems p balanced so far. They said good morning to me n was initiating convo :3 so that made me happy. I’ve been doing a good job holding my infatuation back but also enjoying the rush of the moment. It made me said when hiro told me that they have neophobia, cuz I really like trying new things. And also I worry that their Coeliac disease might make sharing things more difficult since a lot of food has gluten. I like that they r pretty asian in terms of cleanliness and eating foods like natto and umeboshi. And they’re rly cute for sending me wiki articles of both those things haha. I was surprised to find out that hiro is 25 years old but I kinda glad bc I like more mature ppl. And I like how we talk in diff languages to eachother. I wonder what their friends r like. I hope they’re not all white cuz I’m scared of white ppl. I just don’t feel super comfortable around them bc they make me feel invalidated and so foreign. I think it’s cool they have a therapist cuz that’s something I’ve been thinking abt lately. Investing in mental and emotional health is always rly attractive. So are their hands hehe. It’s funny how we’re both kinda shy abt flirting w eachother. I’m not as forward as I usually am and I like that I don’t have to be to keep their attention :) and we also share a love and interest for art, which is something that is new to me that I’m really excited to experience. Cuz then we could paint stuff together and look at art museums together. But of course it all needs chemistry first. I wonder if we’ll have any physical chemistry when we meet in person. If it’ll be rly strong off the bat or be a slow buildup or maybe it won’t b there at all and we’ll feel super comfy w eachother. I wonder what our love languages will be. I feel like it’s easy to communicate love w other Asians even if they’re only half asian bc they understand both the American and asian perspectives. They thought I was 19 lol. Oh and we also both climb, that’s gonna b really really cool if we actually have good chemistry and friendship. They’re kinda shy and hard to talk to on phone tho. I hope that’ll change over time. I didn’t like how hiro called my island bald and was saying that I was leaving trash on her island >:( not nice. But other than that they seem kind and encouraging. Can’t believe I told her I’m attracted to the thought of their nice hands embracing me tenderly and they weren’t weirded out about it :D that means I can dial it down a notch which will definitely make me feel a little bit more stable and not afraid of being ghosted or it not being mutual. I’m curious abt their family dynamic and what it was like for them growing up w unmarried and mixed parents. I want to ask that but I’ll save it for later. I’m also curious about their pronouns and if they would feel dysphoric if I referred to them as my gf. BUT that can wait cuz I mean we’re not dating and I don’t wanna rush or scare them w the dtr talk. They seem pretty open tho so I feel pretty comfortable. They like olives also and actual legit lavender flavor. That’s attractive.

At first I had some traumatic flashbacks of jenna bc they reminded me of her. Strangely kinda similar. Jenna isn’t half asian, but she was adopted by white parents. Also her parents had an unconventional dynamic, the dad was a widow bc the mom took her life and the dad married a new person. Oh also hiro has tattoos and kinda dressed like her. But hiro seems more reserved and emo and I like that, and into video games. I rly rly like that :) and culture and art. I like I like. And rly studious. Me like hehe. And also gender queer. I also like hehe. And dorky n shy and playful. Def bonus attraction :D I p confident we’d get a long as friends. Def wanna solidify that first before doing anything beyond that. But ya I would definitely get in bed w them hehehe. They’re rly cute.

Anyway about my day I also practiced guitar for like two hours, played animal crossing w hiro, and hung out w EG friends. That was the highlight of my day. I rly miss em. We watched shrek and played some jack box. That was good. I had a lot of laughs. :) then I started questioning my feelings and the way that I love ray is related to the slogan from the half of it. “Not every love story is a romance”. Cuz I love that guy to death and at one point I had like mini moments where I’d really want to cuddle him or like be physical w him, but I think I just rly rly love how much he’s helped me grow as a person and supported me and allowed me to be honest w him about everything and anything. I really want to apply all the positivity and thoughtfulness I’ve learned from him to my everyday approach to life. I feel like I’ve gone from a really depressing person to someone who is still depressed but very excited and positive about life at the same time. And no longer had to desperately search for external validation or guess about whether or not I deserve love. I just don’t question it anymore who decides to give me love and who doesn’t. I feel very grateful for my friends and my financial situation, my own place and freedom and awesome coworker rex. I feel grateful that I’m still in touch with sean, kara, dixie, aish, my swe friends, Jon, and I get to have awesome conversations abt politics and feminism and funny memes w people everyday. Also my brother and my mom, eh for my dad. And also natalie and my brother who have been there since day 1. I can’t wait to explore what else is in store for me for the future and move on wo th my life. I’m excited to explore my relationship w hiro and see what I can offer and what they can offer. I hope they see value in my abilities to be emotionally sensitive, make delicious food, be methodical and logical and clean, and also have stability and boundaries and good articulate communication. I want to work on being less defensive and being more kind to myself. Not doubting when people show me affection and not questioning when ppl do nice things for me. My perspective on life and fervor to do the right thing. I want to finish my list of tv shows and movies and make some bomb ass paintings. Oh also the fact that I got closure w my ex and we’re on good terms now and they’re gonna hook me up w some film gigs :D I rly hope hiro isn’t the jealous type that gets insecure and makes assumptions abt my relationships w other ppl. I’m still scared from my relationship w bianca and paranoid abt doing the wrong thing and not having my boundaries respected. Not having my voice heard or believed. I want to see if it’s worth it to go all in first before I do. Bianca def dived in head first super super soon. Like our first date we kissed and she slept over. And I was pressured into doing it w her even when I hesitated. That was such a meh thing and sign I should’ve realized it. But my self esteem was so low I think I was unable to value my own feelings and be there for myself when I needed myself to stand up for my feelings. I hope that I can improve my social anxiety and be more kind to myself and respect myself more. I’m doing a p good job so far w that whole situation w my dad. Just keeping my distance so I can keep my sanity cuz I care about myself enough to not compromise myself for his shittiness. I love this time I get to reflect on myself. I really really love it. I feel so free. I can’t wait to talk to hiro tmrw

[thatgirlfromwindsor]

92 Tag!

I was tagged by @roleplayingexo, my lil love

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people. (20 ppl ur funny)

THE LAST: 

1. Drink: Iced water to go with my cookie bc I’m lactose :c 2. Phone call: I think my auntie. She wanted to talk to my dad or something. 3. Text message: My cousin :D I think I was asking her to steal a baby for me

4. Youtube Video (this was fked when I got to it so imma just do my own…): My girl Taylor Nicole Dean

5. Time you cried: Yesterday. I was talking to Mel about my hypothetical dead bird dying because it outlived me and got sad and didn’t understand why I was gone and I broke

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Boy I haven’t even dated someone once r u kidding me 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: :’) I’m a boyfriend virgin and a kiss virgin I feel personally attacked 8. Been cheated on: See above 9. Lost someone special: My puppy was run over by a car the other day. That effing sucked. 10. Been depressed: I haven’t been diagnosed by a doctor and I don’t really have sad periods or anything. I don’t think I have serious depression but sometimes a girl just wants to d*e ya feel me lmao  11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: *sigh* I’m a drunk virgin too. I have gotten tipsy before tho (my first time drinking and it was soju smh the inner koreaboo strikes again :////)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Pastel pink, mint green, coral pink/red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes! I started uni this fall, so I’ve met loads of new people :) 16. Fallen out of love: I don’t think I’ve ever really been in love. I did unbias Minseok though. All the merch is a lil awko taco now. (Still loaf him, but Jongdae owns my heart n soul now uwu) 17. Laughed until you cried: Today. I was reading a confessions post from my uni and o lor d 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah. It sucked 19. Met someone who changed you: @universitykpop when did we meet again lmao 20. Found out who your friends are: ?? Who knows all of y’all could be snakes and I’d be none the wiser 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: See above for further explanation 

GENERAL 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Almost all of them. I have Mel on there and some distant family friends or something 23. Do you have any pets: I had Chocolate but I had to leave her behind in Vietnam when I came home (technically I only babysat her for a lil bit but she was my puppy and I cried when she died) 24. Do you want to change your name: Yes. My last name is stupid and in the wrong language. 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I just had a small get together with friends. We chilled, played jenga, gossiped, the usual 26. What time did you wake up: Today’s a saturday so like probs something dumb like 11am 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching animal videos 28. Name something you can’t do: Not cry during an argument I’m a lil pussy 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Like 2 hours ago before she went to bed 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: I wish I got into working out so I wasn’t a fat out of shape slob

31. What are you listening right now: My songs of the moment are Babe by Hyuna, Forever by Exo, Kokobop by Exo, p much all of Exo’s discography. I slide in some Pierce the Veil and All Time Low too. They’re rad 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Most likely?  33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My makeup is nearing the end of it’s run but 1) I spent a lotta time on this look and 2) I’m lazy to wash my face (I’ll post a pic if any of yall are interested) 34. Most visited Website: Loncapa :’))))))))) Fuck me up chem

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: Nope! 36. Mark/s: Beauty marks/birthmarks by my eye, on my arm, on my back. They’re not moles though. They’re very much flat. I have some scars on my hands from stupid things like getting cut on coral and shit 37. Childhood dream: I wanted to be an author. I thought I loved writing but I guess biomed was always my true calling 38. Hair colour: Black 39. Long or short hair: Long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah and the bitch’s name is Kim Jongdae 41. What do you like about yourself: I think I have pretty lips. I like my eyes 42. Piercings: Just my ear lobes but I’ve always wanted a nose piercing or a double helix 43. Bloodtype: No idea but according to an old wives tale I’m an O type 44. Nickname: I like to go by Vivi on here, or Viv sometimes. Mel likes to call me Weimoney :’)))))))))) 45. Relationship status: Single af 46. Zodiac: Pisces 47. Pronouns: She/ Her 48. Favourite TV Show: Go Fighting! I used to be really into the Flash, I really like Orphan Black too 49. Tattoos: Nada 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: I don’t think so. My parents thought I was dead when I was born tho so who knows what the doctor did to me 52. Hair dyed in different colour: I’ve tried! My hair is a really really dark dark black colour. I’d have to bleach it and I don’t wanna fuck with that at home lmao  53. Sport: I like jogging sometimes. I’ve tried to pick up yoga 55. Vacation: I loved loved loved China. I visited Xiamen recently and I love it so much. I feel so at home. Also Grand Cayman. It’s beautiful there (my heart goes to all of those affected my the hurricanes. Stay strong!) 56. Pair of trainers: (does this mean sneakers or runners???? I don’t get your foreign slang Jess) I like my converse. They’re my babies. I have a pair of Free Runs tho. They look really good with skinny pants.

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: I ate a cookie bc I skipped dinner oops 58. Drinking: The same iced water 59. I’m about to: Do some chem hw 61. Waiting for: My next trip to NR to I can justify blowing all my $$$ on Exo notebooks 63. Get married: I would love to. It requires that I’m in a relationship first though… 64. Career: Med school is the dream. It’s a big dream and a big ambition, but I hope with hard work and perseverance I can make it a reality. I’m not sure what I want to specialize it, but I’ve always found reproductive endocrinology super interesting. 

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: I love hugs. Hugs are the greatest. They make me feel warm and loved. No experience with kisses

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. Eyes hold so much expression and history.

67. Shorter or taller: Both! Kyungsoo and a smol lil cutie patoot, and Channie is a tol giant full of love and cuddles. Both could take me any day

68. Older or younger: Older. I can’t imagine being with someone younger at this point in my life

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: I just want my boothang to be happy and healthy. Channie bear pls don’t starve urself abs aren’t worth it bb :((((

71. Sensitive or loud: I don’t know what this means but if it means what I think it means than kinky sex

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: I’m a massive piece of shit with social anxiety so you know what who fuckin knows at this point

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: SEE ABOVE ONCE AGAIN HOLY HSIT 75. Drank hard liquor: I’ve had soju so it’s like half vodka? I’ve tried a berry alcohol (it’s native to Vietnam and super hard to come by) that’s 40%. 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I lose my sunglasses on my face. I’m a failure 77. Turned someone down: Possibly? I’m terrible at reading signs. 78. Sex on the first date: I feel personally attacked at this point. No first dates ever :/ 79. Broken someone’s heart: That would mean that someone would be interested in me…  80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: Nope. I’m a good girl 82. Cried when someone died: Yes 83. Fallen for a friend: Nada

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Meh. I guess so 85. Miracles: Yeah 86. Love at first sight: I believe in lust at first sight. I don’t believe that you can truly fall in love with someone before meeting them 87. Santa Claus: Nope 88. Kiss on the first date: Sure, why not? A kiss is just a kiss 89. Angels: I like to think so, yeah

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: @universitykpop is it sad if I say you? 91. Eye colour: Brown 92. Favourite movie: Rush Hour. It’s a fave of mine. Brings me back to the good old days :’)))

Tagging: @universitykpop @penseuls I have no other friends oops. If you see this then I tag you too!!! And tag me in your responses. I love reading them. Haneul I dare you to do this all in your bullet journal (might as well get some content for your blog)