#jungkook soulmate
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adorastarot · 2 years ago
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I know time is a fickle in trot but maybe you could do a reading on when will jk meets his fs?
Thank you
Hi there! Thank you so much for your question!
I actually LOVE timing questions! Timing is super fickle but I find it super interesting and fascinating.
♡ Want to know when you'll meet BTS? Check out my Ko-fi
When will Jungkook meet his fs?
king of pentacles, the world, 4 of cups
It's super interesting that whenever I connect to these two, it's winter! It's always winter! I do see it being around October-Novemberish time of either 2024 or 2025, but as of right now...2024 is coming up quite strongly. (By the way, when I say "meet" I mean that there will be communication involved)
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curse-of-art · 8 days ago
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JUNGKOOK FANFIC RECOMMENDATIONS
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🔞 All of these fics contain smut, so please take your own risk 🔞
❥ Friends Within Touching Distance (series/completed, friends with benefits to lovers ) by @dailynnt
❥ One Night as the Price of a Request (series/ongoing, fake relationship au, enemies to lovers) by @dailynnt
❥ Captive of His Attention (series/ongoing, enemies to lovers, university au) by @dailynnt
❥ Aurora (oneshot, exes to lovers) by @dailynnt
❥ Between Feigned Hatred and Real Desire (oneshot, brother's bestfriend) by @dailynnt
❥ A Quarrel, Alcohol and You (oneshot, friends to lovers) by @dailynnt
❥ Truth or Dare : Kiss a Friend (oneshot, friends to lovers) by @dailynnt
❥ The Alpha Omega Series (werewolf au, childhood bestfriends to enemies to lovers) by @borathae
❥ Cold Gun (oneshot, arranged marriage, gun play) by @borathae
❥ Fuck Me Up (series/ongoing, enemies to lovers) by @jungkoode
❥ Bed Chem (mini series/completed, frenemies to ?) by @muniimyg
❥ Close To You (series/completed, friends with benefits to lovers) by @muniimyg
❥ Bad Habit (series/ongoing, soulmate au, strangers/friends to lovers) by @muniimyg
❥ Dissonance (series/ongoing, enemies to lovers, slow burn) by @bangtan-junkie
❥ The Only One (series/completed, mafia au, contract relationship) by @armpirate
❥ Red (series/ongoing, demon au) by @armpirate
❥ The Beast of Busan (yandere/dark themes, optional ending) by @trivia-yandere
❥ M.I.L.F (series/ongoing, yandere, age gap) by @trivia-yandere
❥ Cruel Intentions (series/completed, yandere, mafia au) by @explicit-tae
❥ Ungodly Hours (series/completed, college au) by @explicit-tae
❥ Ruin You (series/completed, ft.Taehyung) by @taegularities
❥ Meraki (oneshot, enemies to lovers) by @taegularities
❥ Lowkey (series/completed, fake dating au, friends to lovers) by @xpeachesncream
❥ We Are All Dreamers (oneshot, soulmate au, enemies to lovers) by @yoonia
❥ Lost & Found (oneshot, something like ex crushes to lovers i guess??) by @kooktrash
❥ Better Than Him (oneshot, fake dating au, friends to lovers) by @margotw10bis
❥ Polarity (series/completed, yandere) by @darkestcorners
** I will be updating this time to time**
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muniimyg · 1 month ago
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BAD HABIT // JJK
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04 | nothing // series m.list
note: very slight angst ,, jungkook is a dick </3 this is yn's like ... 2nd day lol ,, the vibe is ! messy !
//
when you wake up the next morning, there’s a lightness in your chest. a quiet kind of excitement that makes everything feel softer, sweeter.
the sun spills golden through the palace windows, stretching over your sheets in delicate ribbons, and the air smells faintly of jasmine from the gardens below.
you take your time getting ready, combing through the strands of your hair with slow, careful fingers. as you move about your room, your phone vibrates against the wooden vanity—yoongi and jimin. a small smile tugs at your lips. their dorms are the closest ones to yours, but even then, they aren’t close.
your room—your dorm—isn’t even in the same building as the others. instead, your grandparents had you placed in the west wing’s tower, a space that overlooks the lake and stretches over the endless fields of the garden.
it’s beautiful, perfect, yours.
but it’s far.
and the guards stationed outside your door don’t help with the loneliness either.
for the most part, they’re kind. they don’t speak unless spoken to, but they listen well and step aside when needed. still, you can tell they’ve been given strict rules. one of them being that no one is allowed in your dorm—not even your soulmate.
jungkook.
the thought of last night creeps in before you can help it.
the memory of him standing in the gardens, hood pulled over his messy dark curls, hands shoved deep in his pockets. it had been chilly, and he’d had an extra layer on. he didn’t even hesitate before draping it over your shoulders, eyes flickering away when your fingers brushed.
it was sweet, in a way... how careful he was. how he never moved too close, never reached for you despite the invisible pull between you both. three feet apart, always. like if he got too close, the universe might punish him for it. he didn't talk much—in fact, he barely uttered a word.
but he was there and his aura was warm.
you’d grown up hearing about soulmates all your life. the way your parents spoke about it, the way the elders made it sound like a gift, a sacred thread tying two people together through time and space. they told you everything—how you’d feel it in your chest, how you’d sense their emotions like your own. how you’d know when they were nervous or when their heart started to race. it all made sense now.
but the part they never mentioned?
the heartbreak.
because soulmates only meet once.
there’s no second chance.
no reincarnation, no finding your way back in another life. just one time, one person, one story. and in this lifetime, your story is jungkook.
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yoongi and jimin are already waiting for you when you step outside, lingering near the pathway that leads out of the west wing. they both seem out of place against the pristine marble and grandiose pillars, eyes flitting around, taking it all in.
"is this your first time in the west wing?" you ask, amusement tugging at your tone.
jimin tilts his head, hands stuffed into his coat pockets. "kind of. never been inside. they definitely prepared for you though—what’s with all the flowers? the garden’s right there—”
"i love flowers," you admit with a small laugh, glancing at the carefully arranged blooms lining the walkway. soft petals in shades of cream and lilac, the faintest scent of roses lingering in the crisp morning air. "used to pick them all the time when i was younger. guess my grandparents thought it’d be a nice touch."
jimin nods in understanding before reaching for your bag, a silent offer. you shake your head, holding it tighter.
"i can carry my own bag, jimin. thank you, though."
he snorts. "right, of course. princess."
"have you seen your grandparents since you got back?" yoongi asks, voice even.
you shake your head. "not yet. i think next week? they want me to adjust before we—" you pause, scrunching your nose, "—discuss divinity things. my parents are already requesting tuesdays for themselves. i think they’re struggling more with me being gone than i am."
yoongi hums. "you and your parents close?"
you nod, a small smile tugging at your lips.
"yeah. i love them a lot. it’s hard being away, but i get it."
"get what?"
"this." you gesture vaguely at the palace, at the towering buildings and sprawling courtyards. "the divinity thing. i need to focus, right? the fate of the world and the divine being in my hands and what not."
"excited?"
"oh, if you only knew," you force a laugh.
out of nowhere, jimin groans and drags a hand down his face.
"right… you truly are a princess."
you roll your eyes, stepping past them with a huff.
"i’m not a princess."
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as you step into the main hall, walking in sync with jimin and yoongi, there’s a lightness in your chest you can’t quite shake. sleep came easy last night, and for the first time since arriving, you woke up feeling—at peace. the world feels a little softer, the air a little sweeter, like something inside you has finally settled. by now, they’ve caught on.
"sooo," jimin drawls, a knowing grin playing at his lips. "how’s it feel?"
"how’s what feel?"
jimin exchanges a glance with yoongi before snickering. “do you not get who your soulmate is? i can’t believe he actually came out to see you. it usually takes us five business days to even receive a text back from him. no offence, but something feels off.”
yoongi smirks, shoving his hands in his pockets. "soulmate bond is real as hell."
"or he’s just obsessed with ___ already," jimin teases, wiggling his brows.
“it’s not like that,” you insist. “he came, but he was also barely there, to be honest. is he usually like that—”
your words trail off as you push open the lecture hall doors and see him immediately.
time slows.
there’s a distinct pull in your chest, a quiet hum that makes your pulse stutter. the scent of him lingers faintly in the air—something warm, something deep, something that makes your breath catch. everything around you blurs, just for a second. the sound of shuffling books, murmured conversations—all of it fades.
jungkook is asleep at his desk.
his head rests on one arm, dark lashes fanned across his cheek. above him, his pencil floats lazily in midair, spinning in slow, controlled circles. he looks peaceful like this. not cold. not unreadable. just… quiet.
just before you take another step, his nose scrunches slightly.
your chest tightens. in reaction, his fingers twitch.
and then the world snaps back into place.
you blink, shaking yourself free from whatever that was, and make your way forward. the moment you pull out the chair beside his, the room erupts.
"oooohhhh!"
"awwww!"
you scoff, ignoring the teasing as you sit down, but the noise stirs him awake. lashes flutter. dark eyes blink open, slow and hazy. his gaze lands on you.
just for a second.
then he exhales, stretching his arms over his head before rolling his shoulders back, sighing as he cracks his neck.
and that’s it.
no look.
no words.
nothing.
just a blink and then—silence. like you’re air.
still, you try.
“hi. good morning,” you say, soft but warm, trying to meet him halfway. “thanks for last night. i felt a lot better—”
jungkook stretches again, cutting you off, his pencil still hovering in the air before he catches it effortlessly between two fingers. he twirls it, eyes lidded, mouth tilting into something unreadable.
"mm."
your smile falters. "...mm?"
his expression doesn’t shift.
“do you have to sit here?” he asks, voice smooth, indifferent, “is it a soulmate thing?”
his tone is flat, detached. and the way he says soulmate—like something foreign, something forced—knocks something loose inside you.
your fingers curl against your sleeve.
“d-do you want me to move?”
jungkook doesn’t answer right away. just looks at you, gaze unreadable, before exhaling through his nose.
the silence stretches.
then, without another word, he shifts in his seat and settles back into his arms, prepared to go back to sleep.
that’s his answer.
the air in the room shifts. whispers start. you feel their stares prickle at your skin, the weight of their curiosity pressing down on you.
but you don’t move.
you sit there, silent, heartbeat steady in your chest. you wonder if he can feel it. you wonder if he can feel anything at all.
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you pack up in silence.
the scrape of chairs against the marble floor, the low murmur of conversation—it all fades into the background. jin, namjoon, hoseok, jimin, and yoongi are beside you, their voices blending together as they debate lunch plans. someone wants ramen, someone else suggests dumplings, and normally, you’d chime in, say something about your own cravings.
but you’re not really listening.
not when jungkook is sitting right there, inches away, stretching the sleep out of his limbs. he’s spent most of class like this—half-awake, head dipping forward, only to jolt upright every now and then. it’s kind of funny, kind of endearing.
but the way he’s ignoring you isn’t.
you watch, waiting for his gaze.
it never comes.
he shifts, fingers running through his hair, eyes scanning the room like you’re not even there. like last night didn’t happen. like he didn’t drape his jacket over your shoulders with the softest touch, like he didn’t stand so close you could hear the quiet catch of his breath. you swore something changed between you two. you went to bed thinking about it, feeling it, the bond settling into your bones like something inevitable.
but now, he won’t even look at you.
it’s confusing. frustrating.
you barely know him, but isn't that the point? you’re supposed to be bound to each other. isn’t he supposed to feel this too?
still, you try again.
“lunch?”
jungkook barely spares you a glance. instead, he pulls a cigarette from his pocket, rolling it between his fingers before slipping it between his lips. he pats his pockets, searching for a lighter.
“i’ll be there in a bit,” he mutters, voice flat.
something cold trickles down your spine. you nod, pressing your lips together to swallow the odd weight in your chest.
maybe he just needs a second.
maybe this is normal.
maybe it’s just you expecting too much, too soon.
without another word, you stand, following the others out. the conversation continues, light and easy, but it all feels distant. your stomach aches—not from hunger, but from something else entirely.
as you glance back, you see taehyung lingering, settling into the seat beside jungkook. they say something to each other, something that makes jungkook huff a quiet chuckle before handing taehyung a cigarette too.
you turn away before you can watch him light it.
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midway through lunch, you realize you left your phone back in the classroom. it’s been twenty minutes, maybe more, and neither jungkook nor taehyung have shown up yet. you push your chair back, excusing yourself to grab your phone and check up on the two.
when you step back inside the classroom, the air is different.
it’s dimmer without the overhead lights on, gray daylight filtering in through the large windows. faintly, you smell smoke. you follow it. past the empty desks, past the heavy silence.
then, you hear them.
jungkook and taehyung, leaning against the windowsill, their silhouettes hazy against the afternoon light, the curl of cigarette smoke between them.
"i don't get you, man," taehyung exhales. his voice is easy, but there’s a weight to it. he places a hand on jungkook’s shoulder, gives him a small shake. "___’s pretty, and she’s your soulmate. she actually wants to be around you. you let her be around you. and didn’t you go to hers last night? did you completely miss the way she looked at you today?"
jungkook exhales, slow and measured, before answering.
"it’s just a bond. doesn’t mean anything."
it hits you low, sharp. like an invisible thread snapping between your ribs.
taehyung scoffs. “bullshit. you can feel it, can’t you?"
jungkook laughs, short and quiet.
dismissive.
"i’d feel it more if she wasn’t so fucking boring."
your breath stills in your throat.
"what?" taehyung frowns.
jungkook exhales again, tapping the ash off his cigarette. "bro, come on. she’s a princess—the princess. what the fuck am i supposed to do with her? whatever she wants or needs; i'm sure i'm not it."
"have you no faith in yourself?" taehyung teases. "you're a douche but you have your moments."
jungkook rolls his eyes. "i met up with her at the garden because she said she felt sick. what was i supposed to do? ignore her, let her get sick, and then get punished by the council? fuck, every breath i take is already being watched by them. why the fuck did i have to be their precious princess ___’s soulmate too? i’m never going to like a bitch that cages me up more than this fucking palace."
your lungs squeeze tight. you feel the edges of yourself folding inward, as if to protect something soft and aching inside you.
taehyung scoffs, but it sounds tired. "hey, dumbass… have you forgotten you’re basically a prince here?"
jungkook chuckles, shaking his head.
"not by choice."
"and what? you think it’s ___’s?"
jungkook doesn’t even hesitate. he nods.
"nothing about this is her choice, jungkook," taehyung mutters. "you could be more gracious about this—"
"i just have to play nice," jungkook cuts him off. he flicks the cigarette between his fingers. the ember glows, then dims. "besides, she doesn’t actually care about me. it’s the fucking bond that messes with us."
your fingers clench tight.
"so after everything—you still don’t believe in fate?"
"nope."
"you mean to say that when you two touched and time stopped, and the world glowed in gold—that wasn’t real to you? you didn’t feel anything—"
"it meant nothing," jungkook hisses. his voice is quiet, but sharp. final. like the snap of a thread. "a glitch, maybe? who fucking knows."
and then, softer—softer, but somehow worse—"taehyung, she’s never going to mean shit to me. even if she does; who fucking cares. i’ll be ashes by then."
"don’t say shit like that—"
"fuck, man." jungkook groans. "fuck soulmates. fuck the invisible string. fuck my aura. i just… there’s so much shit wrapped around being a part of the divinity. why the fuck is my soulmate the divine?"
silence.
or not? you can’t tell.
something inside you is making it hard to hear. maybe it’s the rushing of your own blood in your ears, maybe it’s the way your thoughts are tumbling over themselves, trying to process what you just heard.
something tightens in your throat.
you think about stepping out, about making it known that you heard everything. you want to confront him, demand answers—ask him what he means about turning into ashes, ask him why he’s so angry at the divinity, at you…
but you don’t.
you take a step back.
then another.
and another.
until you’re outside the classroom again, pressing your palms into the cool stone wall. your fingers tremble. your chest feels too tight, your skin too warm.
outside, the afternoon sun is bright. the world keeps moving, unaware of the way yours has shifted.
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by the time jungkook and taehyung get to lunch, no one’s eating anymore. trays are half-empty, cups sweating against the table, conversation trickling into an easy lull. taehyung drops his food onto the table and sits without a second thought, but jungkook hesitates, eyes scanning the room.
it takes him a second to realize what he’s looking for. who he’s looking for.
you’re not here.
his stomach twists.
“where’s ___?” jimin asks, watching jungkook’s head turn toward the entrance.
“what do you mean?” taehyung mutters around a mouthful of food, glancing up. “she came with you guys, didn’t she?”
yoongi and hobi exchange looks. “yeah, but she went back to class to grab her phone,” yoongi says slowly. “she said she was checking on you guys too.”
the air shifts.
taehyung stops chewing.
jungkook stops breathing.
they look at each other.
“shit,” taehyung mutters under his breath.
jungkook’s jaw tightens.
his chair scrapes against the floor as he stands up. he’s already moving, pushing his food away, rubbing his fingers against the crease between his brows as he heads back toward the classroom.
all he can think is—
fuck.
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when he reaches the door, he finds you standing by the window.
you don’t notice him at first. you’re busy, fanning the air, trying to get rid of the lingering smell of cigarette smoke. jungkook watches as you rise onto your toes, stretching to slide the window shut, but the lock sticks. you struggle with it, brows furrowing, fingertips slipping against the glass.
he moves before he can think.
steps in behind you, reaches over your head, and pushes it closed with ease.
your body stiffens.
you rock back on your heels and exhale through your nose. then, without a word, you move to step past him.
jungkook catches your wrist.
his grip is firm, not tight. just enough to hold, just enough to say something. but the moment his fingers close around you, you go still in his grasp, and suddenly, there’s too much weight between you.
his throat dries up.
he doesn’t know what to say.
you don’t wait for him to figure it out.
you yank your wrist out of his grip, fingers curling tightly around your phone. your shoulders are stiff, your lips pressed together, but your eyes—when they flick up to meet his—are unreadable. guarded in a way he doesn’t think he’s seen before.
he opens his mouth again, but you’re already turning away.
already leaving.
the doors shut behind you.
jungkook stays where he is, staring at the space you left behind, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach.
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jkvjimin · 8 months ago
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JIMIN & TAEHYUNG ↳ are you sure?! | episode 3 for @jung-koook ♡
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winterzsurprise · 6 months ago
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Change My Mind [4]
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Pairing: BTS x reader
SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.
Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.
Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor
Words: 7.1k
nothing much to say this time but this is not beta read, my friend who was supposed to read it is unfortunately unavailable, idk if the argument makes sense in the end cause I personally run from confrontations so idk how to write good arguments so yeah.
ANYWAYS, Happy reading!!
<<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>>
TAGLIST: @wildestdreamsblog @canarystwin @prettywheenicry @jmnscutie @sassy-snassy @misuguru @11thenightwemet11 @yoongibaybee @rinkud
___________
In all of your years working for Bangtan, as one of their staff and the youngest stylist, you've been included in every life events and celebrations there is. Birthdays, first wins, comebacks, everything there is even something as important as family dinners. You've never skipped or forgot a single member's birthday, period.
But as Guwon stands before you, a plane ticket to Jeju in hand with the departure scheduled tomorrow and returning just a day short before the tour, you find yourself at a crossroad. It’s Jungkook's birthday tomorrow and Jimin has planned a small party tonight at their dorms before the formal celebration at the company the next day.
While you've been trying to rectify the awkward air between you and the maknae since his confession by starting conversations, the maknae only replied to you with silence before promptly vanishing in two seconds flat.
But despite the strain in your relationship, you could never think of not attending his birthday. You'd never thought to be petty enough to return his energy. His present was already wrapped in a pretty bow under your bed for a week now for Christ's sake!
“I-I can't… It's one of their birthday’s tomorrow.”
“Oh.” His smile falls. “Can't you just give your gift today? Surely they can party for one night without you.”
It was a genuine question, logical and true but for some reason, his tone raised concerns within you. You swear to the highest heavens you could hear a bit of irritation hidden beneath dejection.
You winced. “I can't, I'm really sorry… I-I can pay you back what you've spent for the trip. I'm really sorry, I just never missed any of their birthdays. I swear I'll make it up to you next time!”
Guwon's shine dulled the further you went on and your heart twinged with guilt. In another universe where some humans gained animalistic features, he'd have dog ears pressed to his skull, staring at you with wide and glistening eyes.
You waved off the image immediately, disturbed.
“It's also my fault for not asking for your schedule. The tour is next week and then you'd be away from me for months so I kind of… panicked. I'm sorry.”
He should've known better than not to do research on your bosses , a voice at the back of your head scoffed and you waved the thought away as you put a hand over his. 
“I should've notified you as well. Tell me if those are refundable or not, I'll pay you back.”
He waves you off. “Cute but I've been raised well to know not to ask a lady to pay for my mistake, so don't worry that pretty head of yours about not being able to go.”
The date continued and thankfully, no dead air remained and conversation eased out of the both of you. Guwon sorted out his reservations early on, he'd stopped eating every once in a while to pick up his phone to either receive a call or respond to an email.
With how often he answered the chimes of his phone and how long it took for him to finally put it down, you figured he must've prepared a lot for the week and it made you feel more guilty every time he did it.
Today, he brought you both to an indoor park he rented for an hour for a picnic. It was on the outskirts of Seoul and he also cooked most of the food placed between you both, his mother however, was responsible for the side dishes.
Speaking of mothers, yours called earlier to congratulate you on whatever it was she was adamant on keeping secret but you already knew what it was and you were glad Jungkook’s mother gave birth on such a perfect day almost 21 years ago.
Guwon was planning to propose to you during the trip.
It left a bitter taste in your tongue. Sure you had expected to be married to him at some point but you barely knew the man outside of his colorful stories, and knew none of his actual behavior in his home. You haven't even visited his house yet for a vibe check so why is he rushing too fast?
Despite the guilt in your heart, relief is more palpable knowing you'd have more time to figure out if you truly want Guwon in your life.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket and you took a glance at it.
           [17:29] Jinnie: I'll pick you up at your apartment by 6.            [17:29] Jinnie: please be prepared😊
Seeing the t̶h̶r̶e̶a̶t̶e̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ friendly smile attached at the end of his message, you're suddenly reminded of the present. You hadn't told any of them of your date today, something that had drawn out longer than you thought it would. You frowned, fingers drumming on the side of your phone as you pondered on what to reply.
You had promised to help with the food yet here you are, out of town and on a picnic date inside a garden observatory.
“Who is it?” Guwon asks, seeing the frown on your face. Your mind immediately picks up the odd tone he has.
“Their oldest, Jin. We're supposed to cook together before the rest comes home.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “I thought the birthday was tomorrow?”
“Oh, we're planning a small party before it, just his closest friends.”
Guwon nodded, eyes distant and thoughtful as he took a bite of his sandwich before continuing. “What time are you expected?”
“Their eldest said he'll pick me up at six.”
He looked at his watch and frowned deeper. “It's already 5:30. Maybe I can drive you to their dorm instead?”
You immediately shook your head. Remembering the promise you had with Jin and Jungkook. The maknae had recently begun to look at your direction again yesterday after Hoseok had talked to him, inviting Guwon would ruin the smallest progress you’ve had. 
Not to mention, you can't reveal their dorm location even if he is to be your husband. Company rules and you've signed an NDA.
“Company rules, can't reveal their location.”
“If we're going to be a couple soon, I'm going to need to know more about these guys you're hanging around. I don't trust them.” He says as he turns to the picnic basket to take another sandwich out, unable to see the twitch in your eye. 
“Well, you have to learn how to, they’re my bosses and my best friends.”
“I’m having a hard time believing that. I mean,” He scoffed. “Did you notice how they look at me whenever I’m around? That rapper—Yun–Yoonmi stared at me like I’m an insect he stepped on.”
Anger boils deep within your soul and you’re sure it's visibly contorting your face at this point but the man didn’t notice it and continued chewing on his food.
“Besides, their location is pretty well known already, no? Just a couple searches away, why be so secretive about it?”
You refrain yourself from frowning and it takes all of the energy within you to not react as wildly as you would’ve. It was amazing how the illusion of something good could shatter with only a few words and you set down the sandwich in your hand.
There's something terribly humbling upon realization that the man you're talking to is indeed, a man.
Noticing the shift in the air, he set down his cup of coffee with a slight raise to his brows.
“Why are you looking at me like that? It's true though, I just think it's pointless to try to hide it when some people already know, so what's the use of trying to hide their dorm?”
Where's Jimin and Taehyung at times like this?
You dreaded the conversation you're about to bring up to your mother once she calls, and could hear her scolding you for having such high standards. Guwon being indifferent to the possibility of being stalked, and your boys’ privacy being breached immediately raise red glaring flags over his head.
A lawyer himself who shrugged at the threat of crimes, the joke just writes itself.
“Don't look at me like that, I'm just… trying to understand why you didn't want me to interact with them after our second date. It makes a man overthink, know?”
Whatever thread you were holding onto, a sliver of hope that you might've misheard or misunderstood him, decayed within you and you picked up your phone to stuff into your bag.
You had hoped, wished, that after your deep talk on the night Seokjin had scolded your ass to the nines he'd understand your dynamic better with the boys or at least try. You could already hear Yoongi's drawl out ‘I told you so’ as you packed up, even imagine him bringing up Namjoon’s statistical analysis and how I should've listened to it.
“If you're implying what I think you are implying then I don't think we should meet each other anymore.”
Tossing the food back into the basket carelessly, you slung your bag over your shoulder and stand, only for his hand to shoot out to grab your wrist in an iron grip.
“Wait, I-I'm sorry! I just got… jealous, that's all.”
Even with the apologetic look displayed clearly on his face and the fear swimming with them, nothing could bring back to life the trust you had on the man and you pushed his hand away.
“I can't stay with someone who can't understand why those boys are important to me, sorry Guwon but we're over. Don't you ever contact me again.”
“You can't possibly be breaking up with me because I said what I felt? Over them? Really?!”
You don't even recognize the man sitting opposite you.
He knew, he saw how close you are with them and even sat through the stories you told him during your dates. Guwon knew you cherished every single boy in the group yet he disregarded it all because of jealousy? If that isn't a warning, then you might be blind.
“It's like I never even knew you at all.”
He scoffed. “Same with you. Can't believe I actually believed your words telling me you were friends but I saw how those boys treated you!”
Sure your relationship with your bosses is unusual but it was built from hardship and loneliness from being taken away from home and surrendering their time for a glimpse of fame in a field where they're at a huge disadvantage. It was special in ways not many could fathom because in their head, what reason would there be for a man to befriend a girl other than having the intention to fuck them?
It was the mindset of the old and “ wise” and it had infuriated you to the nines.
For him to reveal himself as one of those old cogs when he expressed himself as a gentleman and be convinced by his act of kindness, even the word disappointing could express how greatly upset you are.
“Bet you've slept with all of them at least once, hell, I don't even know why your mother bothered when you're already busy whoring yourself for seven men.”
Anger flooded your veins, it was hot and rampaging under your skin. Before your mind could even register your actions, your hand had already moved, making contact with his cheek in one swift motion. The slap echoed like a clap of thunder in the silence of the observatory.
Even after seeing the angry red mark beginning to mar his skin, your anger remained.
“Goodbye Guwon, I hope we never see each other again.”
Walking away was easier said than done.
You got picked up by Guwon earlier and since you've run far enough from the indoor garden, away from your supposed ticket back home, you're now waiting for an uber at a small library sequestered between towering and loudly designed buildings. You had half a mind to ask your friends that lived nearby for a ride but decided against it.
They might be busy with their own family. 
Unlike you.
As you sit there waiting for your ride to come, your mind takes you to your mother and her genuine glee at the thought of you getting married. Ever since your second date, she had been sending you photographs of weddings for inspirations, links to event places and tailors, and flower shops where you could have your bouquet arranged. She was beyond ecstatic, if she heard what had happened, she would be devastated. 
A loud, exasperated sigh left your lips, the volume catching the attention of the bookkeeper who was quick to shush you.
As you waited longer with only the deafening silence of the library to accompany you, doubt began to form at the back of your head. 
Was breaking up with Guwon really the right choice? 
An angry, louder voice screamed at you for doubling down on your decision. You knew your boys longer than you knew him, if the trip had gone through, Guwon would've proposed to you despite the short time you've known each other. Something you didn't want. Not to mention, he would've gone through the idea while contemplating on your loyalty.
So yes, it was the right decision!
But you were to be married .
Your mother was so happy to have finally matched you with a guy you attended three dates with. The thought made your heart clench, she was excited to see you on the altar and has most likely spread it around your town with pride. She was about to have three married children.
Gods, you don't want to imagine the conversation later on, she'd be distraught.
Your phone buzzed and you dreaded looking at the screen to see your mother's name. Luckily, it was Jin instead.
           [18:01] Jinnie: where are you?            [18:01] Jinnie: knocked on your door but the neighbor said you were out.            [18:02] Jinnie: you're late����            [18:02] Jinnie: I'm going to have them deduct your pay this month for making me wait            [18:03] You: I'm sorry your highness for disappointing you, please forgive this servant of yours🤧            [18:03] You: was on a date            [18:03] You: not that it matters anymore, I broke up with Guwon            [18:04] You: does it even count? I mean, we weren't official, he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend yet.
You paused, face souring as you realized what you've just typed. 
Guwon hadn't asked for your hand officially even after three dates, he had the chance on your second date during the stroll but he didn't. Despite this, he went and asked your parents for their blessings when he hadn't even asked you first.
           [18:04] You: wow I just remembered that            [18:04] You: then he had the audacity to propose to me!
There's a pause in between his usually instant replies and you had an inkling he's already spreading the gossip around the group somehow.
           [18:08] Jinnie: wow there's a LOT to unpack there            [18:08] Jinnie: but worry not            [18:08] Jinnie: I'll have Jimin get us the strongest drink there is for later            [18:09] Jinnie: we'll drink that sorrow away and you're going to tell me what the hell you meant by proposing while not being official             [18:10] You: I don't think I should tell you that…            [18:10] You: considering… ya know            [18:11] You: also don't you guys have an early schedule tomorrow?🤨            [18:12] Jinnie: bold of u to assume I don't want hear how massive of a failure he is            [18:12] Jinnie: nothing better than hearing your enemy’s downfall😌            [18:13] Jinnie: also what do you mean ‘you guys’???             [18:13] Jinnie: you're literally our make-up artist!
You scoffed at the message but before you could type up a reply, the notification from your uber app popped out to inform you about your driver now waiting outside the library and you walked out.
           [18:23] You: and just because I'm your make-up artist, doesn't mean I should let you all get away with this            [18:23] You: and I won't even drink much :pp            [18:24] Jinnie : if I ever see you stumbling around the house, you owe me 100000            [18:25] You: WOW            [18:25] You: AREN'T YOU RICH ALREADY????            [18:25] Jinnie: money is money😌            [18:26] Jinnie: just get ur ass over here already before I add more zeros to the bet
The smell of Jin’s cooking, both spicy and something savory, welcomed you first before the sound of sizzles did. At the sound of the door closing, Jin appears round the corner with an apron hung from his neck and a tong stained with red bean paste in the other.
Despite the disappointed look he's going for, reminiscent of a mother who caught her daughter coming home past curfew, the relief you feel upon seeing his handsome face after earlier was palpable and the knots in your stomach loosened.
“I should have your pay deducted for showing up late.”
You winced. “Sorry boss, can I appeal for a heartbreak discount on that?”
“Only if you give me a hug and cry on my shoulder.” 
He opened his arms wide, plush lips widening into a smile when you approached to wrap your arms around his torso. The fabric of his sweatshirt was soft and the scent of new laundry overtook his usual scent of freshly baked cakes and gentle vanilla perfume, it almost made you boneless in his hold. Moreso when he started stroking your head while the other ran up and down your back with his palm, fingers still wrapped around the tongs.
He didn't pull away despite the awkward position with him bending down and practically melting against your smaller form. In your years of being friends, you could never recall Seokjin being the first to pull away from a hug and once more, you're grateful for that.
“You wanna talk about it?”
“I’ll do it while cooking, we might burn whatever you're cooking if I told you all about it here.”
He shook his head, his rubbing motions on your back turning into gentle pats. “We can just order it online if it does, I even bet that they'll still eat it even if it was. Hoba was relentless today.”
His nails raked through your scalp and you resisted the urge to shiver. 
“He was being an ass towards you guys. Then when I defended you all, he accused me of sleeping around.”
His first instinct was to curse the man down to his ancestors who bred with each other until he was born, but stopped himself when he realized what he's about to say and cleared his throat.
If his arms coiled tighter around you, you only leaned into him further.
“Normally I would say "I told you so" but I know Yoongi has it covered later. So I'll just say—"
"Don't you dare. Jin don’t you dare finish that sentence."
"I knew it."
He let out a cry when your hand slapped his arm but it quickly dissolved into a fit of squeaky laughter and he pushed your head back under his chin before you could even continue hitting him. Hand continuing their petting as you let out an annoyed groan.
“My mom was so excited! God. I hate that bastard for disappointing me and her. She was sending me links to wedding planners and dressmakers because apparently he was supposed to take me to Jeju tomorrow and propose.”
He stills in your arms, the hand in your hair stopping its motion as his breath hitched in his chest. It took him a moment before he recollected himself and continued to pat your head, pressing a kiss on top of your crown.
“I'm sure auntie will understand, I know that she would've wanted you to find a good man like she and your sister did.”
A voice at the back of your head told you he was referring to himself but you threw the thought away as soon as it went.
“Personally, I would've taken the ticket and ditch him.” He laughed and you hit his arm with a barely concealed grin. “All I'm saying is that free things should be used and if it's gifted then better! You get to decide how to use it so refund it!”
“I don't think it's that easy.”
“Just say Kim Seokjin of BTS asked for a refund and they'll immediately accept it.”
Pulling away, you playfully rolled your eyes at him, earning you one last laugh as you walked to the kitchen where the sizzles of the food being fried on the pan had long been muted. Jin followed you with an onslaught of words spilling from his lips, justifying and detailing how he would've done in your place as you placed your bag down on the island counter before reaching for the spare apron.
Hearing his rants filling the silence made it easier to relax, made forgetting how upset you were at Guwon a walk in the park.
It was familiar and his voice, despite his fiery indignation, was oddly comforting.
Soon enough, your conversation halts and you both position yourself over the counter, following his orders mindlessly; which is mostly dicing the vegetables and the slabs of meat he marinated last night in soy sauce and spices. 
You found the repetitive motions of chopping soothing and silently thanked the man now hovering over the saucepan, gently stirring the seaweed soup. 
As if sensing your eyes boring holes on the back of his head, his ears reddened and he looked over his shoulder to meet your gaze.
“W-what is it? Wh-why are you looking at me like that?”
“Just admiring how huge your shoulders are and how reliable you are.” 
You recalled how dearly he cared for his group despite the exhaustion from practicing singing and dancing the whole day. Despite being the youngest in his family, Jin took on the mantle of the oldest brother in the group easily and selflessly provided for his members alongside Yoongi and Namjoon. If it were anybody, you were sure the boys would've been sick or had long given up, especially when the company was about to file bankruptcy in their earlier years.
From the bone shattering dances, exhausting practices and routines stretching from dawn till dusk, you were thankful Seokjin was there to catch the others when they fall.
It was a hard task nobody would've assumed since selfishness is a built-in trait of a human yet Seokjin proved you wrong when he stayed up every night despite the muscle cramps and exhaustion weighing his bones to cook for his members, taking the role of the eldest like it was a second nature despite being the youngest in his family.
He barked out a half-hearted laugh as his red ears brightened from the compliment. “I already know that of course!”
“Thank you for everything, Jin.”
His face crumpled when he laughed bashfully, the bright hue in his ears crawling to dusk his cheeks as well. It didn't take long before he recovered and like clockwork, in reaction to being flustered by compliments, he got defensive and raised the saucer threateningly at you.
“Ya! If you're planning to compliment me, at least be original! I'm done hearing about how wide my shoulders are from ARMY and how reliant I am from the others! We've been together for years, do better and be original with your compliments!”
It was a joke, obviously.
But staring at the older man childishly brandishing his cooking utensil like a bludgeoning weapon, you couldn't help but ponder about what truly pulled you into him only to realize that you've never truly dove deeper than surface level details. It was disappointing to find out how shallow you've been when expressing your appreciation for the man.
Like he said, you've always pointed out how reliable he is but never have you pointed out the small things such as the warm food he claimed have been extras and the hot soups sectioned off for you on cold days.
He was the first to approach you on the first day despite being the member who mostly kept to himself, asking you if you wanted to celebrate their Rookie of the Year win with them instead of the rowdy staff behind you. 
The first one to build a bridge leading to this deep companionship you had with the rest of the members, have you really never thanked him for that?
“You're so caring and humble despite your background and where you are right now. If it was anybody else, they would've left the boys to fend for themselves once they were able to yet you didn't stop cooking for them, for us. I don't think I have ever met a man so down to earth and as loving as you are,” You paused. “Well, except Jimin but if you want something more original I'd say I love your hands even when you think they're weird because they—”
You didn't even realize Jin crossed the distance between you both until his hands clasped around your lips, silencing you completely.
Unlike earlier with only his ears blushing, his cheeks now glowed red, the flushed skin spreading down to his neck, continuing past the collar of his dark blue pajamas. When your eyes meet, you find his glistening with unshed tears no doubt touched by your hastily put together declaration of your appreciation for him. 
When it was clear you wouldn't continue your rant, his arms fell to your shoulders and pulled you into a tight embrace. 
His violent heartbeats thudding against his chest was the first thing you've heard before you registered the stuttered exhales and his gentle saccharine scent filling your senses, clouding your brain completely. For a moment, it was just you and him in the kitchen, hugging a little longer than friends should be.
But then again, since when have you guys ever drawn the line on how platonic touches should last?
“God… You gotta stop doing that.”
“I'm just following what you told me like a good dongsaeng and I think I did exceedingly well on it. Does that guarantee a deduction on my pay deduction?”
There's an odd, invisible weight that lifted off of you, something you didn't even realize you were carrying. But there's also a tinge of guilt pinching the edges of your heart.
Jin was the first to approach you, and the first to confess four years ago. He was all shy looks and sweet smiles, his sweet words accompanied by a bouquet of flowers that must've cost him more than he could've gotten from being an idol of a new group. 
When Jin loves, he gives his all and doesn't think twice to give half of himself as well. In a way, he and Yoongi were alike, just with different approaches.
He was open and unapologetic while Yoongi was subtle and often silent.
His laugh twinkled in your ears but it dwindled later on, as if he remembered something towards the end of his mirth. “You're driving me crazy, how am I supposed to move on when you're this lovely?”
Hearing him confirm your suspicion about his crush—is it even called that at this point?—relieved you from an unknown anxiety most likely sparked by Jungkook's words a few nights ago. Why are you even relieved hearing him still liking you when all you've done is hurt him?
“You're such an idiot, you know that?”
“Love makes you do the stupidest thing but I don't think I've ever regretted ever falling for you.”
He pulls away, a gentler, softer smile now tugging his lips up.
“God, you made me sappy! My god, my soup!” 
Even without the warmth of his embrace, you could feel it radiate in the small space of the kitchen. You continued your work as Jin fuzzed about the seaweed soup behind you, bathing in the domesticity of it all.
Your phone vibrates loudly in your bag on the island counter. Wiping your hand on your apron, you opened it to see Jimin’s messages.
           [18:56] Mimi: seokjin hyung told me to buy the strongest alcohol             [18:57] Mimi: any idea why he’s being weird?            [18:57] You: I’ll tell jin that you called him weird            [18:57] You: but yes            [18:57] You: I’ll tell you all later why            [18:58] Mimi: 🤨            [18:58] Mimi: not if I get you drunk in the first ten minutes            [18:58] You: I’d like to see you try, pretty boy
Your phone vibrated again. Namjoon had texted you, seeing the preview you rolled your eyes.
            [18:59] Joonie: Seokjin hyung didn’t say but I already figured it out             [18:59] Joonie: You'd hear enough from Yoongi hyung later but            [18:58] Joonie: I told you so            [18:58] You: I hope you trip and fall on shit🥰            [18:59] Joonie: Love you too, noona😁            [18:59] You: blocked🚫
“I'm not seeing enough chopping, young lady. Get back to your station!” Jin jokingly scolds. With a laugh, you return to your spot.
By the time some of the boys arrived—except Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung, no doubt pre-gaming somewhere—it was already ten and some of the dishes were plated, ready to be eaten in the dining room. If it wasn't for both your and Jin's advanced thinking to ready the bowl of rice and their plates beforehand, they would have starved to death as Yoongi dramatically puts it before blaming Hoseok for draining them out the whole day.
The man in question just laughed in response before shrugging and rebuking their ‘accusations’, saying it wasn't even that hard. To this, Yoongi grumbled under his breath and Namjoon rolled his eyes.
A few minutes later, the maknaes entered, cheeks all flushed except for Jimin who was holding up a bag full of canned alcohol as if it was game from an all-day hunt.
You thanked Jimin silently for drinking the birthday boy tipsy enough to make the dinner energetic instead of the awkwardness you thought it'd be due to what happened a few days ago. There's fleeting eyes you've caught in between jokes he made, either pouring with adoration or longing, you tried to not to pay it much mind.
But of course, the alcohol pouring could only go for so long before you're all lounging in the living room to talk about anything that comes to mind. It was half an hour short from the clock tickling to twelve, signifying Jungkook's actual birthday.
The conversation started off tame with Taehyung questioning the animals who sleep standing to something more elaborate with Yoongi asking everyone's opinion about some decrypt conspiracy theory surrounding the rich of the west. It was all fun and games when Taehyung, lost in his own mind running with the most random thought, sluggishly pointed at you and asked:
“Wh-why aren't you checking your phone? G-Guwon hyung haven't been texting you yet?”
Many heads turned to you who was practically boneless in between a tipsy Hoseok and a still sober Yoongi. You didn't even need to look to know the look of concern Jin was throwing your way.
But everything was hazy, your head throbbing from the alcohol. The words slipped past your lips before you could think about it.
“We parted ways… He accused me of sleeping around when I said I didn't want to go on a trip with him tomorrow ‘cause I didn't want to skip Jungkookie's birthday.”
Hoseok patted your shoulder and Yoongi nodded, face indifferent as usual. Despite the reaction of the boys on both sides, not everyone in the circle held the same opinion it seems.
“You didn't have to decline it, noona. You-you’ve been with us for years, missing one wouldn't hurt me much.”
Jungkook's voice was softer as if he had sobered up from the revelation and you waved him away.
“What are you saying? I couldn't leave when we weren't alright.” You glimpsed at Jin before continuing. “Besides, he was planning to propose and I'm glad he couldn't anymore.”
In your drunken mind, the information didn't carry much weight but the pin drop silence following your words did, you guessed that it must've been. However, it didn't last long when Taehyung jumped up to his feet and punched the air as if Korea just scored the final score in FIFA.
The boys look at him with wide eyes, shocked by his reaction. Jimin recovers and tries to tug him down but a drunk Taehyung is determined, with a will stronger than a monk's resilience and patience, no one could stop him from doing what he wanted.
And that was bumping his glass on your forehead, a little harder than it should've been if he was sober and you reel back, a hand over your forehead.
“Noona! you're free again! Do you know what that means?!”
“Ok that's enough for you tonight. Let's get you to bed.” Jimin says, chuckling awkwardly as he stands behind his best friend, wrapping his arms around his waist before dragging him away.
“Why? Can't I just congratulate noona from recognizing something was off instead of ignoring it like most do? Noona,” He turned to you, bottom lip jutted out. “It's not bad that I'm celebrating right?”
Seokjin’s laugh was nervous when he rose to usher the man away as well. “Alright, lets all calm down so we don't accidentally say something while drunk.”
“Fuck yeah! I-I don’t even know why I even believed his lies, he’s a lawyer for fucks sake!”
“Not that it ever stopped you before. I still don't understand why you couldn't have married one of us instead.” Jungkook cuts in, suddenly irritated.
Somehow, the tension in the room grew tenfold and everyone sits up, alert and ready to interfere if their youngest decides to let the alcohol take control of him. Your brain clears once it registered the annoyance in his voice, heart dropping to the soles of your feet.
“Jungkook—”
“I just think it's a bullshit excuse and you know it. You told that to Jin-hyung four years ago and have repeated it ever since. We’re all adults now, we can handle a little rejection and who’s to say we can’t date when we’re the only idol running the company. You say it's because you don’t want to choose but aren’t you just instilling false hope in us?” 
He stood as he grew more agitated but Jin pushed him down, eyes stern as he stared down at their youngest. Seeing the conflict brew between them, the growing guilt built by years of spending time with them reawakened.
It tied your stomach in a knot and felt like a building had dropped onto your heart.
As if sensing your emotions, Yoongi’s hand found your shoulder to give it a squeeze.
“You’re not thinking straight so stop it,” Jin excuses as he turns to you with an apologetic smile. “He’s just drunk, he doesn’t—”
“I know what I’m saying and I think you’re being too biased here hyung!”
“Jungkook…” Hoseok calls from next to you, voice low, a warning.
“You too! She’s also your friend, why aren’t you pointing out how she’s just playing with us? Why are you only calling me out?”
“Because you’re being a stupid drunk right now, Jungkook. Stand down .” Yoongi ordered, voice firm and warning. His arms are crossed as he stared their youngest down but the maknae wasn’t intimidated by it, if anything, the fire in the older man’s eyes only fueled the anger boiling within him.
In years you’ve watched over them, never once has Yoongi scolded their youngest past Run BTS contents, leaving the reprimanding to their oldest and leader. For him to call him out and seeing them grow agitated by each other’s presence, dread loomed over you with your nightmares threatening to come true. 
This isn’t how tonight’s party was supposed to go.
“Isn’t there anyone who’d agree with me at how absurd all of this is?!” His head snapped at Namjoon who’s watching with a careful eye. “Hyung, surely you can also see it!”
Throughout the exchange, Namjoon had sat back and watched the interaction from the sidelines instead of interfering on the first hint of a fight breaking out. Even when the situation becomes a little aggressive, he stays silent but you don’t doubt that he’d be the first to stand if the disagreement becomes volatile and inching towards physical.
That's what he always has done, observed and let the high rise of emotions eventually tides down to a calm on their own. He's a leader, he's supposed to be fair and to do so, he must first understand both sides before taking action. He also trusts his own team to temper their own ire after years of being together.
But now that he's forced to join the argument, he sighed and stood. Seokjin stepped away as he approached their youngest with both hands placed on his shoulders to sit him back down. 
Obediently, Jungkook follows.
“While I do see where you’re coming from, I think it's a bit unfair that you’re blaming her for being scared.” Jungkook opens his mouth but a firm shake of Namjoon’s head shuts him up. “Don’t start again. There’s a power imbalance here kid. If her choosing someone could cause a problem, we’d get off scot free but not her. In the eyes of the company, she’s disposable—”
“But she’s not.”
“She is. In their eyes at least. By having her around causing problems for us, she’s nothing but a thorn in their side that they should remove. If she had dated one of us and eventually broke up, it would cause an awkwardness and riff between guys especially if it ended on a bad note and BigHit won't stand for it. You know how important this job is for her, right?”
They stared at each other for a long while, both unrelenting in silence. You all waited with bated breath, Namjoon was the only one who could diffuse the situation and if he fails, then who else could possibly calm the maknae down?
Turning to the clock, you bit your lip at the time.
It was nearing Jungkook's actual birthday, three minutes short before both hands ticked to twelve.
Which meant it would have to start during the denouement of an argument. The thought planting discomfort in your stomach. Such a happy celebration shouldn't be welcomed like this.
In the midst of raised voices and pointing fingers, Taehyung has completely sobered up from where he sat between Jimin’s thighs, staring beady eyed at the situation in his friend’s arms. Sensing your gaze, he turned to you with a sheepish, apologetic smile when Jungkook's heavy sigh broke through the silence.
His head fell to his chest as Namjoon removed his hands from his shoulders yet his eyes remained on their youngest’s hunched form.
“You get what we're trying to say now, do you?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Anything you want to say, gguk?” Namjoon was talking to him like he was a kindergarten teacher and you both were kids who fought on the sandbox for the shovel, warm and understanding but the disappointment in his tone is clear as day.
Jungkook doesn't reply but he shoots up to his feet, surprising Hoseok next to you, with eyes still trained on the floor.
When he did look up to meet your gaze, it was brief and cut off by a deep bow. You reached your hands out, trying to stop him from doing so but Yoongi took one of your hands and pinned them down between his and your thighs.
Jungkook never had to bow for you and it felt wrong seeing him bent down to apologize.
“I-I’m sorry noona, I—” He trails off.
In his speechlessness in a room full of people who—while understanding where he comes from—stood behind you, he clams up and then in a flash, he’s gone, bolting from the living room and skipping up the stairs. The sound of his heavy footfalls echoing like the clock ticking down to his birthday.
The argument has been dissolved, yet it left a bitter taste on your tongue, it made you feel queasy having everyone back you up without reprimanding you as well. It was true, what Jungkook said. 
Weren't you practically leading them on by not choosing anyone? No matter how unintentional it must be, if he thinks that way then maybe everyone else in the group does, just silently.
You turned to the clock again. A minute closer to the next day.
Frustration made you want to pull your hair out but the long, lithe fingers that have entangled with yours in the middle of it all, forbade you from doing so. As if he could hear the internal debate between logic and emotions, Yoongi gave you a comforting squeeze.
But it didn't feel right, you shouldn't be sitting on your ass while Jungkook blamed himself for expressing his own opinion, sure it was a bit aggressive but you understood his frustration.
“Jungkook!” You called out, rising to your feet to follow him when Yoongi tightened his hold on your wrist and shook his head.
“He needs time to process, leave him be.”
Yet despite this, you shrugged his hold off and followed the youngest’s heavy footfalls upstairs and presumably into his room. You caught onto him in the hallway, with the door to his room opened and half of his body already inside.
“Jungkook, let us talk.”
“I-I don't want to see you right now, noona please.”
The desperation to correct the wrongs gives you a short burst of energy and you catch his wrist.
“Jungkook please, I—”
You heard the joyful chime of the clock downstairs before you heard the sweet jingles of bells.
Then you felt it.
Electric jolts shoot up from your connected hands, waking every cell and your mind awake and you almost keel over from the wave of relieving warmth washing over your body. There’s now a low hum accompanying the bells chiming in the background, the soft harmony between them sending shivers down your spine. 
You've thought of first meetings like those scenes in Hollywood movies where a kaleidoscope of colors explodes behind your eyelids, like fireworks celebrating the precious moment where the protagonists finally meet and fireworks shoot up to the sky. They talked of a brief moment of reprieve from reality, the world slowing down and feeling the most calmed you've ever been with your soulmate in hand.
Like your soul finally recognizing its pair and suddenly, everyone became a blur in the background.
Yet when you stared back at Jungkook's mirrored astonishment, your stomach bottomed out.
Because no way in hell, after all this time, you're soulmates.
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fics-lovebot · 8 months ago
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· · ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations
i´ll be constantly updating this list so make sure to check it out often for new recs
pls remember to reblog if you like any of my recs❤️
LAST UPDATED: 25/01/2025
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here you can find jungkook ´s m.list
love octagon? - ( @whyse7vn ) ot7 crack. this was just too funny to me fsdfhsd, i always read it when a want to lift my mood
lovesick - ( @angelicyoongie ) yandere ot7, soulmate au, stalking, harrasment, you got 7 soulmates you don´t know about the you deff know about you, this is an on going series, hopefully i´ll be updated soon bc i loved it
yoongi joins you in your bath and you talk about your days - ( @borathae) fluffy, vampire!yoongs, this is so wholesome :(
bewitched - ( @borathae) smut, fluff, vamp!yoongi, witch!reader, you put a spell on him so he cant cum till you say so, ON MY SOUL I FELT THIS ALL THE WAY TO MY TOES, the smut is gewwwd and the fluff is amazing ughhh, loved it
i´ll float away - ( @ppersonna ) angst, hea. yoongi idol!au. LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING RIGHT NOW,, THIS IS THEE BEST YOONGI ANGST IN THIS WHOLE SITE, POINT BLANK PERIOD, TRUST. a wHOLE 2020 banger. It has STRONG topics so read the warnings
namjoon loves creampies - ( @euphoricfilter ) smut obv, he is an ASS gUY as he shouldd, he luvs him some reverse cowgirl position, obssesed with watching cum dripping outta you, he´s just laying there thinking nasty stuff while watching you ride or die, its TEW MUCHHH
belly bulge -( @euphoricfilter ) bf!joon ,,,,,do you even have to ask what this is about?, ITS A LOT GOING ONNNNNN, talking about big beeffy thick wide strong bear built namjoon and his big ol dicc, who wouldnt like this??, he jerks himself off throught your stomach...
forg_tful - ( @joon4eva ) namjoon. established relationship, angstt, fluff, this one makes me cry every tIMEEEE, he forgets something important for the 2394823948th time so reader thinks he just doesn´t care, he doesn´t like being away from her :((((, but he owns it up bc he is a grown mature emotionally stable man, we love it
love language - ( @rmnamjoons ) soulmate au, mute!reader, non idol!joon au. THE FLUFF IS BEAUTIFULLLLLLL, i love joons pov before meeting her, and the day the meet???? i died, it was so cute
blushes from a rose - ( @army-author ) fluff, supernatural au, popular witch!namjoon, shy forest nymph!reader, so like,,i need a movie of this asap
split - ( @sombreboy ) smut, snake hybrid!jimin, he has a fORKED tongue and TWO cocks!!!! :D NOW THIS, i remember reading it a long time ago and thinking it was the best hybrid!jimin fic out there, i´ve read about him being a cat, a dog, etc but a SNAKE??? now that´s new, loved it
faded love - ( @jamaisjoons ) angst, fluff, cheating husband!jimin, ceo!jimin. "he doesn’t need to say it. because you can feel your husband, park jimin, falling out of love with you." ANGST FESSSTTTT, another one for my personal collection, i love this sm
devotion - ( @borathae) smut, vampire!tae, period sex, multiple orgasms, period blood licking, its a LOT GOING ON I- wow, pls just read it
These Things Take Time - ( @laughing-with-god ) yandere! supernatural tae, gaslighting, gore, horror, ex bf jimin, this is written so well , ghost? tae but not really, doppleganger kinda thing, loved it
let love be enough - ( @jingabitch ) ex-husband!tae, cheater!tae, divorce au, you meet again after 20 years on your daughter´s wedding. YUPPP this is an angst fest right here, probably my favorite tae angsty fic out there, i LOVE IT
the curse of a crush - ( @army-author ) fluff, supernatural au, down bad witch!taehyung, witch!reader, he´s so in love with you he thinks you´ve cursed him with a love potion, SO CUTEEE
729 notes · View notes
s4svnn · 14 days ago
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Written in ink . JJK (1)
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Summary; Death was meant to be final—a swift plunge into nothingness. Yet, against all logic, you awaken in a bed far too opulent to belong to the afterlife, with the piercing gaze of a demon fixed upon you. The air crackles with something ancient and binding, and when you move, a searing pain flares across your skin. A mark—undeniable, links you to him in the cruelest way possible. Not as his prisoner. Not as his prey. But as his soulmate.
Pairing: Demon Jungkook x reader
Genre: Enemies to lovers, soulmates, angst, fluff, smut (18+)
Status; ongoing series | All rights reserved
Content tags/ warnings: Suicide, drowning, death, underworld, choking, pain, anger, fear, suffocating pressure, torment, supernatural, dark emotions, anxiety, hopelessness, inner conflict, isolation, fear of the unknown, violent confrontation, angry Jungkook, scared reader
Word count: 3.4k
7 years earlier
The night sprawled infinitely above them, a vast abyss of inky blackness pierced by the faint glimmer of distant stars. Below, the city pulsed with artificial life, streets bathed in pools of amber from flickering streetlights, neon signs buzzing like captive fireflies, and highways streaked with the ghostly glow of rushing headlights. The distant murmur of footsteps, muffled conversations, and wailing sirens wove together, rising with the cool night breeze, a symphony of movement beneath the stillness of the sky.
Perched on the edge of a towering rooftop, two figures stood motionless, silent sentinels against the night. Dressed in black from head to toe, their forms bled seamlessly into the shadows, their faces concealed behind smooth, unreadable masks. They were wraiths above the city, watching, waiting phantoms in a world too consumed by its own glow to notice the darkness lurking just beyond its reach.
For a long moment, they simply observed the scene below. The boy shifted, his body turning ever so slightly to face the girl stood beside him. Though his mask concealed his face, the weight of his gaze was unmistakable, heavy with unspoken worry as it settled on her.
"What if he finds out?" he murmured, his voice barely audible over the distant city.
The girl didn’t move, her gaze fixed on the horizon, the soft glow of the skyline reflected in the smooth surface of her mask. She exhaled slowly, as if releasing the weight of his question into the night. “He won’t,” she said, her tone even, almost dismissive. “Don’t overthink it.”
His fingers curled slightly at his sides. “You say that like it’s a guarantee.”
This time, she turned her head just enough to acknowledge him, though her mask remained unreadable. “Because it is.”
The boy let out a quiet scoff, barely more than a breath. “That’s blind confidence.”
"No," she corrected, tilting her head slightly. "It’s certainty."
He studied her for a moment, searching for something in her posture, her stance—any indication that she was just as uncertain as he was. But she remained still, composed, as if the question itself had never even crossed her mind.
“And if you’re wrong?” he pressed.
Her mask turned fully toward him, though he couldn’t see her expression he could feel the sharpness of her stare, and the quiet challenge behind it.
"Then I’ll deal with it. Back out if you're afraid."
Silence stretched between them, thick and unmoving. The wind tugged at their clothing, carrying the distant wail of sirens through the air.
The boy let out a slow breath, shaking his head before responding. “You know I can’t.”
The girl nodded once, satisfied. “Then don’t question it.”
The words hung in the air, their meaning layered with both challenge and reassurance. The boy’s eyes flickered momentarily with a mixture of doubt and resolve before he allowed himself a small nod. The tension between them, electric yet unspoken, was palpable—a silent acknowledgment of the risks they faced and the unyielding commitment to their shared path.
As the wind picked up, tugging playfully at the edges of their cloaks, the city below continued its relentless rush. In that suspended moment atop the building, amidst the interplay of light and shadow, their conversation was more than just words, it was a testament to the defiant spirit that bound them together, daring the darkness below and the secrets that might one day unravel their fragile world.
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Present day
The night hung heavy with an eerie stillness as I stood at the edge of the bridge, the faint glow of distant streetlights spilling over the water, casting long, fractured shadows that seemed to stretch into nothingness. A thick mist rolled over the river, cloaking everything in a cold, shrouded veil. The air bit at my skin, sharp and unforgiving, as the darkness wrapped itself around me like a second skin, suffocating and impenetrable. The only sounds that cut through the silence were the distant hum of cars on the highway and the soft, mournful howl of the wind whispering through the trees like the world itself was mourning with me. 
The city, distant and blurred through the mist, seemed like another world entirely, its lights faint and hazy like a dream I could never reach, a world I no longer belonged to. I stood there, rooted to the spot, as the weight of my past crushed down on me—each wound, each betrayal, each harsh word spoken in anger or indifference. Years of being told I wasn’t enough, of being silenced, of being invisible, had accumulated within me like an unquenchable fire, burning beneath the surface, waiting for the moment to consume everything. The scars, unseen by anyone but me, pressed against my chest like an unbearable weight, and now, all of them had led me here. To this moment.
The wind howled past my face, a cold rush that did nothing to quell the burning heat behind my eyes. Tears, hot and unrelenting began to well up distorting the city lights in front of me into blurred smears of color. I could feel the crushing weight of it all, the suffocating expectations, the relentless struggle to be seen, to be heard, to be more than the reflection they had cast on me. And in that moment, it all became too much to bear.
I began to speak, my words hesitant as I processed the weight they carried. "Dad, it’s Selena.” My voice cracked, fragile, as if I were trying to convince myself that somehow, somewhere, he could hear me. “I don’t know if you’re watching me right now… but if you are… I’m sorry.”
I swallowed hard, my voice breaking under the weight of the confession. "I know I promised, but I’m tired of pretending I have it all together when I’m falling apart inside.” My voice wavered, barely holding steady. 
I clenched my fists, anger and pain colliding inside me as the tears slipped down my cheeks. "The world doesn’t care about people like us. In their eyes we’re nothing, we’re not even real."
The wind howled louder, as if it too echoed the bitterness in my voice. I took a shaky breath, each word slipping out softer, more fragile than the last. “I spent my whole life trying to be what they wanted, trying to make myself enough for them…for you. But nothing ever changes. They look at me, and they don’t see a person, a daughter, or a human being. They see nothing. And maybe...maybe I’m nothing to myself, too.”
I stared down at the dark water below, feeling the weight of it all pulling at me, the sense of drowning under expectations and pain. My heart pounded in my chest, but even then, there was a numbness creeping in swallowing everything else whole.
"I just...don’t know what to do anymore. I don't think I have it in me to keep going."
I paused, the wind tugging at my clothes, my thoughts scattered like the mist swirling around me. A faint part of me wondered if I could go back, if I could find some other way to fix this, but another part much stronger knew that this moment, this decision, was inevitable.
I was tired. Tired of the lies. Tired of pretending I was something I wasn't. Tired of existing in a world that didn’t want me to exist at all. So without thinking, I took a step forward.
My feet left the solid ground, and for the briefest moment, there was nothing but the rush of air against my skin, the world tilting beneath me. Everything went silent, the wind no longer howling but whispering softly in my ears, as if it knew what I had decided. My body was weightless for just a second, suspended between what was and what could be.
In an instant, I hit the water. It was colder than I had imagined, a shock to my body as it collided with the surface, a violent impact that sent a sharp sting through every nerve. The water swallowed me whole, engulfing me with a force that was almost too much to comprehend. The world above me disappeared. The sounds of the city, the wind, the rush of my heartbeat—all of it was drowned out by the deep, muffled silence of the water. It was dark. Darker than anything I had ever known. The water seemed endless, pressing in from all sides, cold and suffocating as I sank deeper. The weight of it pressed against me, pulling me down, holding me in its grip, as if the very darkness itself was trying to claim me.
I kicked instinctively, but the cold, oppressive weight of the water was too strong, and my limbs felt heavy, sluggish. The deeper I went, the less strength I had, the less I cared. The water wrapped around me like a shroud, encasing me, pulling me further into its depths. My vision blurred, the faint glow of city lights above me becoming a distant memory, as the world fading away into the blackness.
Every breath, every struggle to rise, became harder and more distant. The cold began to numb me, not just my body, but my mind and my soul. The pain that had once clung to me, the bitterness, the fear, it all began to slip away. The weight of everything, every hurt, every disappointment, every regret faded, drowned by the overwhelming nothingness that surrounded me as my eyes closed for the very last time.
And then just like that, the world slipped away completely, as I was pulled into the water’s embrace until I was nothing more than a whisper lost in the depths.
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Darkness. It was thick and stretching endlessly around me like a suffocating void. My head throbbed with a dull, insistent pain, my skull feeling as though it had been split open and hastily stitched back together. A wave of dizziness rolled through me, making it nearly impossible to distinguish up from down as if I were still submerged in the depths of the water.  
The thought sent a jolt through me. The water. The towering bridge, the way the wind had howled in my ears, pulling at my clothes urging me forward. The exhilarating, terrifying moment my feet had left the solid ground, the sensation of weightlessness as I plummeted through the open air. And then—impact. The brutal, icy embrace of the water as it swallowed me whole, dragging me down into the abyss. I could still feel the way my lungs had burned, every desperate gasp met with nothing but silence and suffocating cold. I remembered sinking, my limbs too heavy, my vision fading into blackness.  
I had died. No I should have died. So why did it feel like I hadn’t met my end.
I forced my body to move, my limbs trembling with the effort as I pushed myself upright, the dizziness still clinging to me like a thick fog. The bed beneath me was unnervingly smooth, its surface impossibly cold, the fabric unfamiliar and foreign under my fingertips. My breath came in shallow, uneven gasps as I tried to make sense of my surroundings, my eyes darting around the space trying to find even the littlest of details that could explain where I was. 
The room was suffocating in its darkness, every surface from the walls to the ceiling to the floor, a deep, impenetrable black swallowing any trace of light that dared to touch it. There were no windows, no doors, no signs of life or escape. The space was entirely devoid of warmth or humanity, as though it belonged to no one existing only in the oppressive, eerie void. I couldn't even tell if this place had a purpose, or if it was merely a prison, a waiting room for something far worse.
Before I could even process what was happening, an invisible force slammed me back onto the bed, pinning me in place as though I were weightless. A rush of fear shot through me, my heart pounding furiously in my chest. My breath hitched, panic flooding my mind as I struggled against the unseen pressure, my body fighting to break free from its suffocating grip.
A figure loomed over me, dark and imposing, his presence swallowing up what little light remained in the room. His body was solid, his grip tight as he held me down with terrifying ease. My eyes widened as I took him in, the details carving themselves into my mind with razor-sharp clarity. His face was striking—unnervingly sharp features, a jawline that could cut glass, and eyes that burned a deep, unnatural crimson red with an intensity that made everything else fade into nothingness. 
His hair was jet black, shaved close on the sides in an undercut, the longer strands on top slightly disheveled as if he had just stepped out of a storm. But the most haunting thing about him wasn’t his face or his piercing gaze, it was the massive, shadowy wings unfurled behind him, their darkness shifting and rippling as if they weren’t entirely made of flesh and bone.  
I barely had time to react before his grip tightened, his fingers pressing mercilessly into my throat. My breath cut off instantly, a strangled gasp escaping my lips as I clawed at his wrist, my nails digging desperately into his skin. He didn’t flinch. He didn’t even seem to notice. His eyes bore into mine, burning with something deeper and far more dangerous than I could even begin to comprehend.
“How the fuck are you alive?” His voice was a low snarl, dripping with something that made my blood run cold.  
“I watched you die,” he snarled, his voice thick with venom, his crimson eyes flaring with a fiery rage. “I watched you drown in front of me. So, explain to me—how the hell are you still alive?”
I bucked weakly under him, but my limbs were heavy, useless, my hands scraping futilely against his unrelenting arm. There was no escaping him. I shook my head frantically, my thoughts scattered, my mind a jumbled mess. Nothing made sense. How could this be happening? How could I be alive?
“I—I don’t know,” I stammered, struggling to keep my breathing steady, my chest still aching with every shallow intake of air. “The last thing I remember...I was drowning. I was dead. I don’t know how I’m here. I don’t..I don’t know what happened.”
And then, just as my thoughts began to fade into the blackness, he released me, pulling back with a suddenness that caught me off guard. I collapsed forward, my body curling instinctively gasping for air, every breath a jagged, painful struggle. My throat burned, raw and abused, as though I hadn’t used it in years. My hands flew to my neck, feeling the jagged imprint of his fingers still fresh against my skin, the bruises already blooming under my trembling fingertips. I coughed violently, my chest convulsing as hot tears welled up, slipping down my cheeks before I could stop them.
“W-who...who are you?” I gasped, my voice raw, barely more than a rasp. “Where... where am I?”
He didn’t respond. His eyes burned into me, a mixture of seething rage and disbelief. “Don’t bullshit me,” he spat, his voice razor-sharp. “How the fuck are you alive?”  
“I-I don’t know,” I stammered, my breathing still unsteady. “I swear I don’t know.”  
A tense silence settled between us, his crimson eyes locked onto mine as if searching for something—some hint of a lie, some explanation that made sense. But I had none to give. I was just as lost as he was. The muscles in his jaw tightened, the strain evident in the sharp set of his features. Behind him, his wings stirred, twitching with barely contained aggression, as if they too felt the weight of the uncertainty that hung between us. Whatever answers he sought, the fact that he couldn’t find them unsettled him more than he was willing to admit.
In a flash of violent motion, he turned and slammed his fist into the wall beside him.
A bone-shaking crack reverberated through the room.
I flinched, the impact jolting the walls with a force that felt like it might shatter everything in sight. But instead of breaking, the black surface beneath his fist seemed to bend and ripple, as though it were alive, responding to his fury.The darkness around us shuddered, like the whole room was reacting to his anger.
His head dropped forward, his forehead resting against the smooth black surface, and when he spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. "What kind of sick joke is this?" His words were strained, thick with something that sent a cold shiver through my body. "I buried your body. I mourned your death for years. So how…how are you here?"
My breath caught in my throat. My body, rigid from fear, suddenly felt ice-cold.
Years.
I swallowed, shaking my head as if that would make his words make sense. “W-what do you mean years?” My voice was hoarse, barely steady.
At that, he turned back to me, his expression snapping from something near-broken to pure fury once again. His eyes burned as he strode toward me with purpose, his presence swallowing the distance between us in an instant.
“Don’t fuck with me Leah.” His voice was sharp, his tone edged with something dangerous.
I blinked, confusion momentarily overriding the fear pressing down on me. “For god’s sake, I told you—I don’t know how I survived! And my name isn’t Leah!” The fear that had held me paralyzed just moments ago suddenly shifted into something hotter, something angrier. I clenched my hands into fists, frustration rising in my chest. I had jumped off the bridge to escape the endless bullshit the world threw my way, hoping for a release, a chance to finally be free. And yet here I was again, trapped—still being treated like I meant nothing at all.
In the span of a breath, his hands were on my face. His grip was firm but not painful, his fingers pressing against my jaw, holding me in place. My breath hitched, my heart hammering against my ribs as he tilted my face upward, bringing it only centimeters from his own. His crimson eyes burned into mine, searching, unraveling something I couldn’t understand. His grip didn’t falter, didn’t tremble—he was utterly still, his gaze locked onto mine with an intensity that made it impossible to look away.
Then, just as suddenly as he had grabbed me, he let go. His hands fell away, his expression shifting into something void—completely unreadable. The anger, the confusion, the disbelief—all of it vanished in an instant, leaving behind only emptiness.
“You need to leave,” he said flatly.
Something inside me snapped. A fresh wave of frustration crashed through me, overpowering the lingering fear in my chest. I threw the sheets off my body, shoving them aside as I swung my legs over the edge of the bed.
Big mistake.
The moment I tried to stand, a searing pain ripped through my shoulder, so sharp and sudden that I gasped, my knees nearly buckling. My hand shot up instinctively, clutching at my upper arm as if that could somehow dull the burn.
What the hell—?
I sucked in a breath, wincing as I pressed my fingers against my skin. It felt like my arm was on fire, a deep, blistering heat sinking into my flesh, coiling beneath the surface like something alive.
A sharp inhale cut through the room. I forced myself to look up, my vision still blurred slightly from the pain. He was staring at me, completely still. But this time, there was no anger, no confusion—only horror.
His eyes were locked onto my arm, wide and unblinking, as if he had just seen a ghost. Dread curled in my stomach. Then slowly, I followed his gaze. My breath caught in my throat. A deep red and black mark had begun to spread across my shoulder, winding its way down my arm like ink bleeding into water. It looked almost like a flower, dark petals twisting into mist-like tendrils that faded into delicate, curling lines. It pulsed faintly, as if reacting to something unseen. As if it was alive.
Then, in a voice barely above a whisper, he choked out, “You’ve been marked."
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bangtanficsforyou · 24 days ago
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The One (JJK)- Announcement
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Pairing: Jungkook x OC (reader)
Genre: angst, fluff, maybe smut?
Au: soulmate au.
Rating: 18+
Summary: Jungkook is your next-door neighbour, friend, batchmate and well…..soulmate. You never told him that though. Why? Because he despises the idea of soulmates.
Word Count: tbd.
masterlist | patreon
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this thing has been sitting in my drafts for so long, and then it kind of got lost? But recently I have been getting such a strong urge to get back to this, so I guess this month's tumblr fic will be this one! 🤭
If you want some guy wrenching rejection pain, well you will have it.
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A/N: i will upload this by the end of this month. Although there's another patreon exclusive fic that I am working on, and I am not quite sure which one I will finish first. As in, I'm not quite sure which one I will end up uploading first but both will be up by March, dw. Regardless, if you want early access to this one, consider checking out my patreon. 💗
(oh and another thing the next part of OOTW is finally up on my patreon so check that out maybe? 😉)
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angelicyoongie · 1 year ago
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lovesick (X)
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— pairing: yandere ot7 x (f) reader — word count: 4.8k — warnings: yandere, stalking, obsessive behaviour, spanking as punishment, minor injuries, other content that may be triggering. — summary: You dreamed of the day you would get your very own soulmark. Though, you didn’t expect to wake up to a searing hurt in your arm, the phantom pain of your shoulder being dislocated and your forearm fractured. As if dealing with the worst possible soulmark ever wasn’t bad enough, you also have to come to terms with the fact that you’re being stalked. When the letters and gifts you receive begin to escalate and the police offers no help, you have no other option than to figure out who’s behind it yourself – and hopefully before it’s too late.
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Previous – Next
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You wake up to the sound of gravel crunching under Namjoon's shoes.
Your face is tucked against his chest, breathing in the scent of the crisp night air that lingers on his coat. It takes you a moment to reorient yourself, for the last tendrils of unconsciousness to slip away.
It all comes crashing down over you like a cold bucket of water as reality sets in; he's taking you back to the cabin.
It'll be as if the last hours never happened, as if you never stepped foot outside the sturdy wooden structure. You're going back to them – except, perhaps it won't be the same men that you left that you'll have to face once you step back inside. The soulmates you ran away from were terrible and selfish but they were never cruel. After your failed escape attempt, however, you no longer know if that still rings true. If that's something you can count on. 
Your body locks up at the thought of the monsters waiting for you down the road, muscles spasming with the need to move despite the utter exhaustion weighing you down.
Namjoon tightens his grip around your middle as you grow stiff, arms locking you securely against his body.
"You're awake," He notes, the usual honey in his voice gone. "It's for the best. We can deal with everything much quicker this way."
The fearful whine that shoots up your throat gets trapped behind your teeth, your lips too numb for the noise to pass through them. It takes great effort for you to move your head over, turning just enough that you're able to pick up on your surroundings. Namjoon must have parked just down the bend from the cabin, his steady steps already closing in on the dark silhouette looming between the trees in the distance. 
Your heart feels like it's trying to beat itself out of your chest as you pick up on muffled yells, shivers racing down your frozen spine as you make out six distinct voices. The soft light emanating from the cabin sends ferocious shadows dancing across the ground, their movements erratic and violent.
It gets harder to breathe the closer you get, your chest refusing to move as Namjoon steps up on the small patio in front of the entrance. Blood rushing in your ears, you try to make yourself as small as possible in his arms as he reaches out for the handle, wishing you could just melt away into nothing. Anything would've been better than this.
The cabin goes deadly still as Namjoon pushes the door open. 
Your vision blurs as you're brought into the heat, your eyes stinging as you attempt to blink some moisture back into them. You can barely make out the six fuzzy figures scattered around the room, their bodies stock still as if they're frozen in time. The chilly wind that blows into the cabin is nothing compared to the sight that greets you as your eyes adjust – the six men in front of you looking everything from angry to icy to hurt. A few of them even have the gall to glare at you with something akin to betrayal; like you were only stringing them along for your amusement and not your survival. 
It leaves you trembling with fear, the knowledge that no matter what you do, nothing will make them understand that they're the ones in the wrong. That they're the selfish ones.
Namjoon takes another step forward, chest rising with a small sigh as he readjusts you in his grip. Perhaps he regrets bringing you back now that he can see the state the others are in, their hair and clothes rumpled, the furniture in the common room strewn about like a hurricane has torn through it.
You glance back up at his face in time to see him set his jaw, his voice tight as he says, "We're back." 
The door that slams shut behind him jerks the cabin back into motion, the noise that was sucked out before suddenly rolling over the room like a crashing wave. You screw your eyes shut as their yells blend into each other, feet thundering across the room as they stumble over themselves to reach you. 
"What were you thinking?!" You flinch as Taehyung's voice booms across the cabin. You can't discern if it's anger or concern that's got him so agitated, so loud, and that scares you. 
"Calm down, Taehyung. I know you were worried but this isn't the way to show it," Yoongi hisses. 
His voice drifts closer, a little softer, as he addresses you, "You're lucky Namjoon found you, Y/n. You're already chilled to the bone." 
"Never scare me like that again, angel," Seokjin sounds wobbly as he pats over your hair, hushing the choked noise you make at the contact. 
Your eyes flutter open against your will at the low, irritated snort that travels through the room.
Jimin stands with his arms crossed over his chest by the couch, scowling as the two oldest keep fretting over you. "Don't tell me you already forgot why you were so distraught in the first place, hyungs? Y/n ran away. She was just playing with us with whole time – she doesn't love us." 
Seokjin's fingers still in your hair, the warm touch of his hand slowly receding as he takes a step back. He throws a hard glance over his shoulder, mouth pinched in annoyance, "Jimin, did I not tell you to shut up for the rest of the night?" 
Jimin grits his teeth at Seokjin's tone, turning his head to stare blankly at the wall. 
"He's right though," Hoseok says, hand brushing over Jimin's shoulder as he steps closer. "Y/n tricked us. She betrayed the trust we gave her and we can't let that slide without any consequences." 
"What are you suggesting?" Namjoon leans back on his heels, fingers digging into your thigh.
"She deserves a punishment," Hoseok blankly states, eyebrows cocked as he stares you down, "Don't you agree, Y/n?" 
"N-no," You weakly shake your head.
The tsk you get from Hoseok in return makes you recoil, the fear in your body so tangible you can taste it on the tip of your tongue. 
"I think you're right, Hobi." 
A small, betrayed gasp leaves your lips as you hear Yoongi's careful drawl. His agreement stings more than expected, somehow you had deluded yourself into thinking that Yoongi wasn't as bad as the other men in the room; that he and Jungkook actually seemed to care a little for you and not just your soulmate connection.
Jungkook still hasn't moved from where he's sat in one of the big ratty armchairs near the couches. His doe eyes are shiny with tears when you meet them across the room. Jungkook starts curling in on himself the longer you look, shame pulling at his features as he ducks his head.
"Fine," Namjoon says, "But nothing too bad." 
"Of course not. I don't actually want to hurt sunshine, she just needs to learn a lesson," Hoseok scoffs.
The men around you share a look, a silent conversation passing between them. You have no idea what they're thinking but it frightens you to know that this must have been something they have already discussed, that they've already decided on a punishment should you ever disobey them. 
"Who–?" Seokjin trails off, biting his lip nervously between his teeth.
"I'll do it," Taehyung sounds chastised, his voice meek as he adds, "I should do it." 
He takes a seat in the middle of the couch, dragging his hands over his jeans as he gives Namjoon a nod to show that he's ready. 
"W-what, no!" You uselessly tug at Namjoon's coat as he strides across the room, your frozen limbs making it impossible to fight back as you're carefully manhandled across Taehyung's lap.
Fingers wrap around your ankles, keeping your legs glued against the couch as you futilely try to push yourself up with shaking arms. Another hand is pressed against the small of your back, rendering your movement useless. No matter how much you try to squirm, you're simply too exhausted and cold to shake them off.
It takes you a second to recognize the position you're in, disgust curling in your stomach as it hits you that you're about to be spanked. 
"I'm not a c-child," You bite through clattering teeth, fingernails digging into threadbare cushions. 
"No? You sure act like one," Hoseok scowls. "Big girls wouldn't run off like you did." 
You jerk as Taehyung's hand settles on the back of your thigh. You turn your head back to look at him as the others crowd around the couch, voice breaking as you whisper, "Please don't." 
Taehyung doesn't meet your eye. His gaze is trained resolutely on his hand, his expression pinched. The corner of his mouth is downturned as he moves his hand from your thigh to your butt, his long fingers easily spanning over one cheek.
You let out a shuddering breath at the unwanted touch, pressing your forehead to the couch to hide away from the six burning pairs of eyes that surround you. Taehyung's fingers flex against the material of your trousers as he murmurs something under his breath, the feeling so weirdly intimate it makes your eyes cloud over, hot tears trailing down your temple. 
"It's just ten, babe. We could do a lot worse," He comments gruffly. 
There's no preamble before Taehyung raises his hand and delivers the first hit, the harsh smack echoing through the room. You bite your tongue, choking down the strangled cry that tries to rush up your throat.
You feel the imprint of his fingers burn on your cheek, the sudden pain so consuming you barely register how someone else hisses out a low curse.
It's only when Taehyung is on the third hit that you feel how he jolts as his hand makes contact; how it takes him a moment to collect himself before he delivers the next one. The fifth smack brings a weird sense of clarity to you, Yoongi's irritated cough finally making you realize that you're all feeling Taehyung's slaps. Your soulbond is connected through pain so the hurt that blooms with every hit doesn't just affect you – it has an impact on them as well.
The somber atmosphere in the room isn't just because they're disciplining you for running away; they're also punishing themselves for letting it happen. 
You let out a harsh breath at the next smack. Despite the numbness in your limbs, you can feel how horrible your butt is stinging, the alternating hits doing little to lessen the pain a new one brings. It becomes harder and harder to think with each hit, your mind slowly falling apart under the excruciating combination of fear, exhaustion and pain. 
The final smack seems to linger in the room and the silence that follows feels so thick you might crumble under it. 
Your right-hand aches as Taehyung uses his to lightly rub over your smarting ass, his breathing shaky as he tries to soothe the bruises that are no doubt already starting to form. 
"Hyung," Taehyung rasps.
The hands pressing on your back and ankles disappear in an instant. Taehyung springs away as Namjoon lifts you, moving your body into Seokjin's waiting arms. You try to blink away the tears clinging to your lashes as Seokjin leans you back against his chest, taking some of the pressure off your backside as you're maneuvered to lay on your side. 
"You're absolutely freezing, angel," He tuts. He motions for Yoongi to grab him a nearby blanket, quickly tucking you in. The warmth that wraps around you is a small comfort, but it's not nearly enough to quell the shivers that are still rattling through your body.
"Let's do this quick, she needs to warm up." 
You swallow thickly as Namjoon kneels by your feet, gently pulling your socks off. They're so cold you struggle to move your toes. 
It's not until a rush of warm air hits your exposed skin that you realize you're hurt. Your soles are aching something fierce and you catch a glimpse of blood on the socks Namjoon throws down beside him. 
"Darling," Namjoon furrows his brows as he looks at the torn skin, tongue poking into his cheek in disappointment. "Why did you do this to yourself?" 
He shakes his head as if you're going to answer him. Heaving out a heavy sigh, Namjoon wordlessly accepts a small basin of warm water and a cloth from Hoseok, wetting and wringing the material out before he brings it to your feet. 
You let out a wounded hiss as he makes contact, your foot involuntarily jerking away from the water that stings your open cuts. The quick movement causes you to drag your sole against the couch and it only causes you more hurt, a sharp pain shooting up your leg.
"Fuck," You whimper, body shaking against Seokjin's as Namjoon quickly reaches out to grab your foot, holding it securely over the side of the couch. You can feel Seokjin's leg twitch as the pain moves through the soulbond, the others grimacing as they feel it too.
"Angel, please be careful," Seokjin admonishes as he tucks his head over your shoulder, holding you in a tight hug as he rests his cheek against yours. 
You shudder as Namjoon once again brings the cloth back to your skin, wincing as he meticulously and carefully cleans up all the dried blood and dirt clinging to your wounds. Namjoon's voice is perturbed as he moves on to your other foot, holding it with a firm grip as he says, "This is why we were holding you down during your punishment, darling, so you wouldn't hurt yourself more by moving around. We don't enjoy doing any of this." 
You choose not to voice your disbelief. Judging by the sour look Jimin sports as he stares you down, you're sure it's written all over your face regardless. 
Namjoon hands off the dirty water and cloth to Yoongi, switching it out with an antiseptic cream that he starts dabbing on your cuts. 
Seokjin's warm breath hits the corner of your mouth as he cautiously asks, "What made you come back, Joon? You weren't supposed to return until tomorrow." 
The bandage that's being wrapped around your left foot pauses, Namjoon tilting his head as he mulls over what to respond.
"I think it was that pull you've talked about before. I just suddenly felt like I had to go back to the cabin, that I was needed here," He lets out a low snort, humorless. "I guess whatever feeling it was, was correct." 
"Interesting," Yoongi muses. He leans against Jungkook's chair, absentmindedly patting the youngest's hair. Jungkook leans into the comforting touch, face still marred with shame as he chances a glance over at you in Seokjin's arms. 
You stare blankly down at Namjoon's hands as he finishes up one bandage and moves on to the next, his words echoing in your head. Did the soulbond somehow call him back? If it knew you were trying to put distance between yourself and your soulmates, can it work against you to keep you from separating from them?
You don't want to believe that it can affect you that much. But if it is true, does that mean your own soul is betraying you – that it'll do whatever it takes to keep you close to these monsters who don't actually care about you, as long as it'll keep the bond strong? 
"It's definitely too strange to just be a coincidence," Hoseok purses his lips.
The sweater you picked out this morning suddenly feels too heavy on your shoulders. Was it just by chance that you picked out one that belongs to Namjoon, or is there something else to it? Can you even trust yourself anymore? 
You barely register as Namjoon finishes wrapping up your foot, the blanket being pulled away from your body as Seokjin lets go of your waist. Your chest is tight and your vision spotty as you're handed off to Yoongi, too many awful thoughts and feelings all vying for your attention at once. 
You feel yourself being carried again, the lights going from soft to bright, but it's like everything is underwater, muffled and out of reach. Yoongi's blurry face is suddenly in front of yours and it takes you once, twice, to focus on what he's saying; for the words to make any sense. "–can you do it yourself?" 
Yoongi sighs as you stare blankly back at him. He brushes a finger down your trembling jaw, wincing at how cold your skin feels. "Y/n, you really need to warm up. I'm going to place a stool for you inside the shower so that you can rest and we can keep your feet outside of it and dry. I know you'd rather not have me undress you, but are you able to do that yourself?" 
"Yes," You croak, disgust rippling across your body as you think of Yoongi undressing you, of any of them seeing you so vulnerable. 
"Okay," Yoongi says, unconvinced. You bite your lip harshly as you're placed down on the closed toilet seat, the pressure awful on your bruised ass. 
Yoongi steps over to turn the shower on for you, the old pipes rattling as water starts spewing out of them. He keeps his hand under the spray until he deems the temperature good enough. His expression is sorry yet firm as steps back, nodding to the door as he explains, "I can't leave the room but I'll keep my back turned to you the entire time. You're too weak to be left on your own right now. I won't turn around until you tell me it's okay. I promise." 
"Do you want help to get over to the stool once you're undressed?" Yoongi eyes your bandaged feet, eyebrows drawn tight with worry.
"No," You whisper.
The toilet is only a few steps away from the shower but even just that feels like miles with a body so tired and battered. Still, you're willing to push yourself until you collapse if it means none of them will touch you like that. 
"Just let me know if you need help, love," Yoongi sighs as he walks over to the door, facing it head-on like promised.
Getting undressed is a battle but it's one you refuse to lose. You keep your eyes locked on Yoongi's back as you pull off layer after layer, the steady steam rising in the bathroom only making your shivers worse. You refuse to strip down further than your underwear, the pieces offering you some modesty in a situation that just feels so mortifying. 
You pull yourself up on your feet with a yelp, legs shaking with pain as you slowly hobble over to the shower. You're not sure how you manage to maneuver yourself down on the stool but you do, and the relief of warm water cascading down your frozen body is so great you can't hold back the sob that rips out of your throat. 
Yoongi's back tenses as he hears the broken noise, his hands gripping the doorframe to keep himself in place. He never turns his head, choosing instead to rest it against the door, taking deep and measured breaths as he listens to your choked cries and whimpers.
The warmth slowly returning to your limbs is downright awful. The cold clinging to your skin refuses to bulge at first, and when it finally does slip, it feels like pins and needles being hammered into your flesh as the water rains down on you. The shivers slowly ebb away the longer you sit in the shower, your dry calves and feet prickling with the weird temperature difference.
You lose track of time as the heat gently returns to your body, face swollen and puffy as the last of your hopelessness trickles out through your eyes. 
You're exhausted and everything hurts. It's like your mind and body has been fractured into a thousand pieces, all of them poking and pricking you no matter what muscle you flex or what direction your thoughts try to stray.
You just want to sleep, to forget, for a little while. 
Yoongi straightens up as the water is turned off. His voice is hoarse, much like he's been crying himself when he asks, "Are you done, Y/n? Are you still cold?" 
You take a deep, shaking breath, filling your lungs with as much bravery as you can muster. "'m done." 
"Wrap yourself up in the towel by the shower, love. Let me know when you're covered, yeah? I'll open the door and grab the clothes Jungkook left for you." 
You do as Yoongi asks, watching as he opens the door just enough to snatch the clothes waiting for him outside. He walks backward towards the shower, still somewhat respectful of your privacy as he leaves them on the toilet. "Take the time you need to get dressed. I'll wait by the door until you're ready." 
Your mind is hazy and drifting as you attempt to dry yourself off, exhaustion weighing your lashes down. Slipping your wet underwear off under your towel in exchange for Jungkook's clothes isn't an easy feat, pain still flaring up your feet as you're forced to put pressure on them. Still, it's a small consolation that Yoongi doesn't attempt to help you until you raise your voice and say that you're done.
Yoongi sweeps you up into his arms before you can even blink, strong arms holding you close to his chest. He swallows hard as he glances down at you, voice unbearably soft as he says, "I really am sorry, Y/n." 
He, much like Namjoon, knows he won't be getting an answer. Yoongi steps out of the bathroom with measured steps, making sure not to move you around too much. The cabin is dark and quiet as he carries you down the hallway, the others nowhere to be seen.
"It's been a long day for all of us," Yoongi mutters as if he senses your confusion. 
Your fingers find Yoongi's shirt as he steps closer to your room, shock hitting you like a lightning bolt as you see the state of it. The door is broken off its hinges, halfway torn off the frame. The desk you pushed against it is flush with the wall and the rest of your room looks absolutely trashed. Furniture has been flipped over as if they were looking for you under it; your belongings scattered everywhere. The brute force they must have used to get into the room makes you realize just how badly this return, this punishment, could have gone for you. 
The moment passes as Yoongi walks further down the hall, but the sick feeling in your stomach lingers. 
He nudges one of the ajar doors with his foot, stepping into the room as it opens. The bedroom is bathed in soft light, the pillows on the bed fluffed and the covers already drawn aside. Yoongi carefully places you down on the mattress before he tucks you in, his expression troubled as he watches how you wince and grimace as you try to get comfortable. 
"This is Seokjin hyung's room," Yoongi explains, "He'll be staying with you tonight. We ... we're going to be taking turns watching over you." 
"Thank you for the introduction, Yoongi-chi," Seokjin's smile is a little strained as he enters the room, a glass of water clutched in his hand. He places it down on the table next to you, patting Yoongi's back before he takes a seat in the plush chair that faces the bed. 
"You can go rest now." 
"Alright," Yoongi nods. He meets your gaze for a split second, mumbling out a gentle goodnight before he turns on his heel and leaves.
Seokjin lets out a small sigh as the door clicks shut. "I should've given him a talking to for not drying your hair properly but I'm sure you're tired, angel. Damp hair must be the least of your worries right now, huh?" He shakes his head.
You pull the covers up to your chin, eyes alert despite how your lids keep attempting to fall shut every other second. There's not an ounce of trust for them in your body but it's so terribly difficult to stay awake when you want to do nothing but sleep. 
"I'm sure you saw the state of your old room," Seokjin winces, "You'll be spending one night with each of us on rotation. You might not wish to have us so close all the time but you shattered the trust we had in you, Y/n."
He folds his hands in his lap with a frown, staring down at his slightly crooked fingers as he says, "You can use the bathroom alone as long as one of us is right outside of the door, but aside from that, we're going to have to watch your every step. We won't allow you to hurt yourself again. I'm sorry it had to come to this but, well, it was the best thing we could settle on." 
You close your eyes to avoid the sad look Seokjin gives you, your chest constricting with fury. If they're trying to guilt trip you, it's not working. You can't believe they're trying to frame all of this as them simply looking out for you when in reality, they're robbing you of any agency you have. 
As you take deep breaths to quell the anger bubbling in your stomach, you feel yourself growing heavier and heavier, your body sinking into the mattress below. You want to be angry, you want to fight, but what's the use? You won't get another chance at escaping the cabin and your own soul clings to the soulbond, refusing to let you weaken your connection to them. 
You fist the sheets, sniffling as darkness begins to drag you under. If the universe wants you here, wants you to stay with them, maybe.. maybe it's time you give up and accept it. 
You wake up, drowsy, to the sound of something clattering. It takes you a second to realize that it's coming from you – your teeth rattling in your mouth from the cold that has seeped into the room while you slept. Everything is dark aside from the pale moonlight shining through the window on the other side of the room, your breath fogging up the air in front of you as you breathe.
You gingerly flip over on your other side, pulling the sheets as tight to your body as they can go, but it doesn't help fend the cold off. It's no wonder this cabin is abandoned during most of the year, not if it's reliant on the fireplace in the common room to heat up the entire place. 
After what feels like an eternity of shivering, you hear Seokjin's raspy voice calling out in the quiet room. "Angel? Are you cold?" 
Fabric rustles as he shifts in the chair. You hold yourself as still as possible as footsteps pad across the wooden floors, Seokjin's darkened silhouette coming into view. He hesitates by the side of the bed for a second, just enough for your teeth to start clattering again before he makes up his mind and climbs in. The mattress dips as Seokjin's weight settles upon it, the man in front of you scooting down until he's facing you in the dark. 
A rush of cold air hits your body as he raises the sheets to shimmy under them, an arm curling around your waist before you can even think to open your mouth. Seokjin presses himself flush against your body, mindful of your injuries as he tucks your face into his neck. 
"I'm still upset with you, angel, and I know you're upset with me, but you need my body heat if you want to sleep." 
Seokjin is very warm. 
You inch closer without even meaning to, your sleepy brain desperate for the heat that radiates off him. Seokjin lets out a small gasp as your cold nose skims against his throat, his hand pressing between your shoulder blades to keep you close.
Sleep slowly begins to weigh down your eyelids again as you soak up Seokjin's warmth, your body relaxing so deeply it feels like your bones have been turned to mush. The last thing you remember is Seokjin nuzzling his face into your hair, lips pressing against it in a soft kiss that makes your heart flutter.
Perhaps, if you had been a little more awake, you would've realized it wasn't fear that made it skip a beat.
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a/n: you can read ch 11 of lovesick early by clicking here!
it only took ten months but we're back baby!! how are we feeling about what happened in this chapter? namjoon bringing her back, the boys' reaction and her "punishment", her private moment with yoongi and seokjin ... lots of things happened so i would love to hear what you're thinking!!
see you in the next chapter and remember to wish jimin a happy b-day!! 💖
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sosickastro · 1 month ago
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Indulgence (Bts x Chubby reader)
-------------------
Poly Bts x Chubby Reader, Soulmate au and Idol au
Summary: Poor broke and isolated mc gets the chance to go to a concert with an old high school friend, with hoping to find their soulmate and see the biggest boy band in the world. A new shocking reality hits her while at the concert.
Chapter Warnings: degrading thoughts, poor writing and grammar, gender confused reader, anxiety, mc being a loner, mentions of weight insecurities, swearing, etc (let me know if I miss anything)
A/N: Hey yall I am not dead just being a wage slave at my job and working 24/7-- I wrote this a bit ago and posted a snip it of this a while ago as well but my friend begged me to post an actual chapter of this--- if this goes well I might post more. As usual, Grammarly is my lord and savior so there are going to be some mistakes even they can't catch.
word count: 2,644 (damn)
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(Thank you Corinnecousins on Pinterest for this picture)
The red string is an invisible string with only the users being able to see it. On the other end of the string, it is supposed to be your soulmate. Someone that is your other half, someone that the universe itself said was perfect for you. At the age of 18, you get to see the string in completeness, it's like officially becoming an adult. Some people do find their soulmates before the ripe age but most don't find their other half till well into their twenties. 
There is this website that the government set up, it is called ‘The SoulTies.’ This website is run by a mysterious group that knows when soulmates complete their bond and on this website, you can see who is paired with who. The website came about mainly for celebrities because a lot of casualties happened when crazed fans pushed too much to find their favs soulmates. This was the compromise, and surprisingly it worked. No one knows how these people know, it is almost like the gray sisters and the string of fate except they don't cut the string, and the string is red and involves love. Something the Greeks thought of as a tragedy and not a serendipity. I think the website is funny, not in a mean way. Moreso seeing well-known people get paired with nobodies. It’s nice knowing that the ones who acted full of themselves get humbled by their fate. I haven’t met my soulmate yet, 
I am almost 19 and a month into my freshman year of college with no friends, barely a social life, and no soulmate. Though I wasn't expecting to find him on day one of moving into college, it is still disheartening when you see others with their lovers or soulmates and your red string is so tight it can cut a block of cheese. See the further you are away from your soulmate the tighter the string, when you guys get closer to each other the string will loosen. I was hoping that moving to a different state would give me a fresh start in this whole life mess, but it just made me more depressed than I have ever been. 
I let out a long sigh as my thoughts consumed me, I adjusted the bag on my back and skipped through a few songs. The nice weather and lack of students around made the hell walk to my class more bearable. Recently I have been getting back into listening to BTS, the music makes me less stressed about life, and I get to reminisce about how happy they make me. When I was a tween and didn’t know about the struggles of financial debt and stupid people. I put on one of their albums as I made my way to my philosophy class. BTS as I recently found out are all soulmates with each other, they decided to let the world know a few years ago but I guess I was living underneath a rock when the news broke out. It makes sense in my opinion, all being soul-tied, and it's not like group soul bonds don't exist, they are uncommon, sure but not rare. A part of me, the delusional side of me, secretly hoped it would be one of them. That I was fated to be with Taehyung or maybe Jungkook. I know a lot of their more toxic fans were upset by this announcement as I went into a rabbit hole on the whole matter. The outrage by the delusional fans where overshadowed by the more competent people and was overall taken very well. 
I made myself laugh at the thought as I took my seat in the filled classroom. I gave a soft smile to the two girls who sat by me as I placed my headphones into my bag and grabbed my laptop. I make a quick Google doc so I can pretend to take notes and pull my phone out to check any notifications I may have gotten on my walkover. I smile as I see a text from an old friend, Lauren. Me and her graduated from the same high school and we were some of the very few people to move out of state for college because of this we stayed in contact with each other; hoping to lessen the stress of college and being in a new state. 
LaLaRen: Hi, I know this is sudden and you can say no to me, but I got these concert tickets from a classmate and I was wondering if you want to come with me. I think you know this band and it is happening this Saturday. 
Me: Omg, I would love to, who is the band? :] 
LaLaRen: It is the K-pop band BTS. I only really know a few songs from them. But I remember hearing from Sarah that you love them, or maybe like K-pop in general. 
Me: No fucking way- OMG YES I WOULD GO WITH YOU PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE 
LaLaRen: Haha, okay okay how about you come down Friday so we can go shopping and hangout for a little ;0 
Me: Sounds wonderful ;]
I giggle softly to myself as I feel the energy surging in me. I have always wanted to see a BTS concert and now here is my golden opportunity, fuck willy wonka this is more amazing than his chocolate factor.
When I got back from my class, I threw my bag onto my half-made bed and sat down at my desk. I grab my laptop out of my school bag to send off an email to my professors letting them know of my absence for tomorrow. As much as me and Lauren can plan around our classes, it would be easier for us not to have them. Plus I don’t believe I can sit through another psychology lesson knowing I was going to see the biggest boy band ever. 
 My phone set off as I finished sending the emails and looking into bus tickets, the caller ID displaying ‘LaLaRen’ I laughed to myself as I accepted the call. “Hi girl,” I said to the phone smiling as Lauren laughed I placed my phone on the messy desk putting the call onto speaker so I can try and muilty task, “Hello girly, so when do you think you will be down?” she asked me with a small giggle, it looked like she was equally as excited for this. “Well it's a 3-hour bus ride, if I leave at nine I can potentially get there around noon,” I click through the website the bus service has, seeing the available times for tomorrow Internally groaning at the prices for the bus. Maybe if I start walking now I will make it in time. 
A groan gets let out through the speakers “The three-hour bus ride sounds intense, do you want to spend the night at my dorm so you don't have to take the bus after the concert?” Lauren tells me, the way she says that is more of a statement than a question. “Oh my god, a sleepover with THE Lauren, of course,” I responded to her with a high-pitched voice. We both laughed at that and spent the next few hours going over the plan and creating backup plans just in case. 
You never know what can happen in the cities. Crazy people even more crazy traffic. Expense coffees and overrated bangle places. I sign knowing that my bank account will suffer after this 2-day trip.  After our call ended, I took out my school notebooks and folders from my school bag; to use as an overnight bag. I never really had the thought of buying another backpack, I never went anywhere in my hometown to need one. Perks of being a loner with friends who would rather play video games than have sleepovers. I walked over to my dresser, placed my newly empty backpack on top of it, and began packing it with some clothes. Me and Lauren both agreed to shop for a concert outfit and get some coffee before the concert on Saturday. I bit my bottom lips as anxiety fills my stomach, shopping for clothes has always been hard for me. Not that I don't enjoy it, in fact going thrifting is one of my favorite things. 
More so the part where I have to shop for pants or skirts or any bottoms for that matter, I am in the weird awkward body type where I am not fat enough for the plus size clothing but chubby enough to not be able to fit into any size below a 16, even then some 16 pants are too small for me. With Lauren being smaller and skinnier than me I hope it goes over well shopping and we don’t need to go to a hundred different shops just to find one pair of pants that fit me. With that, I put a pair of black cargo pants into my overnight bag. It goes with a lot of outfits just in case I can only find a top to wear.
I like to think I am not super insecure about my weight, though being the fat kid growing up and now even if my weight is distributed through my body after puberty, I still have a stomach to me, I still have big thighs and I still have a chubby face. The comments made to you, even as a kid, stick with you for the rest of your life. I know I am attractive and I am confident in myself, but the insecurity is still there. Especially when you don’t fit into what society wants as a mid-size person, I have a small chest size that makes me pass off as a guy. Another thing that I don't mind as I really don’t care about my gender. But it is whatever. It makes finding a boyfriend hard but makes boys with fragile masculinities pissed off easier, a small win in my book. 
I snap out of my degrading thoughts as I finish packing my bag, adding in a few accessories and perfume. I grumble as the dining halls are now closed; though the food was probably not going to be that good anyway. I place the bag at the end of my bed and debated on ordering some takeout but with the money I was going to be spending tomorrow, I decide to try and sleep. Though I know I won’t sleep for a good while,  I can spend the night relearning fan chants and old songs. But like usual  I spent the next hour scrolling through social media, stalking old classmates before I ended up falling asleep out of exhaustion. 
I woke up that morning with a newfound pep in my step, getting dressed and ready was a blur of excitement and anxiety some thoughts of telling Lauren I don’t want to go anymore pop into my head once and a while, but I can not let my anxiety get in the way of seeing my seven fake husbands. After I was done with everything I did a final check around my small dorm making sure that I had everything As I adjusted the straps of the bag, so it fits more comfortably on my shoulders I pulled out my phone to book an Uber to the bus. I give myself one more look in the mirror before heading out of the building. I can drive by the way, but in this economy, it's impossible to buy a car. But still super expensive to use Uber everywhere, it is always a lose-lose situation. A huge fuck you to the poor and stupid college kids just trying to have fun. Maybe my soulmate is some rich dude who can drive me everywhere. Being a forever-passenger princess doesn't sound too bad. 
As I wait for the driver to come I sent a quick text to Lauren that I was on my way to the bus station which she answered with a simple ‘Okay’ My Uber drive was quick as my nerves got my adrenaline rushing throughout my body, tomorrow I am going to be seeing my all-time favorite band, and who knows maybe my soulmate will be there. He needs to have good taste in music if he wants to be with me. Though it would be easy to indoctrinate him into the BTS lifestyle. 
 I give the driver a small ‘thank you’ as I stepped out of the car just in time for the bus to be pulling in. I pulled out my phone to show them the ticket I bought last night and make my over to the bus seeing as it was filling up. I give the driver a polite smile as he gave me a nod singling that I was good to sit down wherever I wanted to. I made my way down the aisle before taking a seat in an empty section. I prayed to whatever God out there that I had to row to myself. As lady luck is on my side I get the two seats to myself as the bus pulls out of the station, I readjust the headphones on my head as I am going to heavily rely on music during this drive, maybe I can sneak in a nap beforehand too. 
The three-hour ride went well, very well it felt like only 3 minutes. Maybe I am way too excited for this concert but I never had the privilege to be this hopeful in my life. I wait a little as the bus comes to a stop and people begin to step off the bus. As I also take my leave on the bus I quickly spot Lauren, her long black hair and chunky glasses give her away pretty easily. We pulled each other into a hug letting out excited giggles. “Are you ready for city traffic?” Lauren asks me with wiggling eyebrows “Of course” I say back to her, we begin to take off to meet up with Lauren’s soulmate who would be driving us. We talked about the concert and the songs we hope to hear. The sounds of traffic, people talking, kids yelling and cars honking filled the air like an unwelcomed hug from your weird aunt; uncomfortable but familiar I nodded my head along as Lauren rants about how close we are going to be to the stage and hoping to see Namjoon that close up
Then for the first time in my life, I felt a tug, anxiety filled my stomach as I froze in my tracks, and my heartbeat went through the roof as I looked down at the red thread I usually forget about, it loosened. Holy shit I am near my soulmate. Holy shit. Lauren notices that I stop walking and now staring at my pinky finger asks me “Are you okay?” I initially looked around the bus station, there were a lot of people walking around, too many to see where the string goes. “Is it your soulmate?” Lauren asks me again. I couldn't speak, my mouth dry as I gave her a shaky nod.
But unfortunately just as it loosens it quickly tightens again, meaning my soulmate either left or is on a bus going further away from me. “I wonder if he felt it” I questioned out loud, looking at Lauren with shaken eyes. She sighs, almost equally disappointed “Come on Clare is waiting for us, we don’t want to keep her waiting.” Lauren tells me, grabbing my hand and basically dragging me to the exit. I can’t stop staring at my red thread, there's hope. There is always hope. Now I at least can find comfort that he is in the States, and not in Korea or Russia or anything far away.
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yanderefics-recs · 1 year ago
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Yandere/Dark! Cheaters Recs
for the readers who loves angst, groveling, and some spice like me <3
as of December 2023
The Unsaid Vow by @laughing-with-god (patreon/tumblr) (ongoing)
Remarks: you are married to Jungkook and you have a kid together. You suspect him of cheating however and when you try to leave he gets triggered
A Bird In A Gilded Cage by JUNMAK0 (ao3) (finished)
Remarks: your soulmate, Ushijima, has trust issues due to your past life and was initially not excited to meet you. Still, you grow to be in love but trouble ensues. (just when you think ushijima is healing he swerves around to the other side)
Yandere!Cheater hcs by @hyerinrose
brief sypnosis: a fun oc by hyeinrose
Hoax by @moonlitinks (tumblr) (ongoing)
Remarks: you're in an arranged marriage with ari levinson who has some prejudice about you and is repulsed by you (this one gets pretty dark in the beginning but lightens up as it progresses)
When you found out they cheated on you (hyung line) and (maknae line) by @wildestdreamsblog
Remarks: title is pretty self explanatory
When you tried to move on from them (hyung line) and (maknae line) by @wildestdreamsblog
brief sypnosis: a continuation of "when you found out they cheated on you" (groveling ensues 😈)
Yandere!Hero x Reincarnated!Reader by @bunny-yan
Remarks: the hero and reader are childhood lovers but it's not a cute story wherein they get to be together after the hero's job. The angst reoccurs in lifetimes (the concept of this one is pretty unique so i rlly recommend giving it a read :>)
Where did you go?, pt 2 by @ishouldbeinh0rnyjail
Remarks: gojo satoru got caught cheating by you and went insane trying to get you back (this one was delicious)
Fuckboy! Maknae line trying to convince you to stay by @yandere-society
Remarks: fun drabble! these men are toxic and assholes but it's kinda hot and they say they love you so... 😝
Man In The Mirror, pt 2 by Momo-chan (Quotev)
Remarks: another very unique concept! It's about you being in a loveless arranged marriage but you meet another you in a mirror that leads to a parallel universe
Superbia by alissabex (wattpad) (oneshot)
Remarks: good lord this one is memorable! Every now and then i come back to that oneshot. It's pretty long too so pretty satisfying!
Til Death Do Us Part by ASumOfWords (ao3) (oneshot)
Remarks: THIS ONE HITS EVERY FUCKING SPOT IM NOT KIDDING!!! I was in a particularly darker mood for this one sooooo yeah. Dark!Aemond hides his grief of losing his wife (aka you leaving his ass) underneath his anger. Lowkey wish there'd be more of his feelings in the piece but the author does pretty well with leaving it to the imagination
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teddymoon06 · 6 months ago
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Through the Storm
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"Are You Sure?" (Y/N x Jungkook)
Are You Sure?
Y/N could feel the tension in the air the moment she stepped into the room. Her eyes darted around, taking in the sight of Jimin, leaning casually against the wall, his expression amused as he watched Jungkook pace back and forth in front of him.
She knew what this was about—how could she not? Jungkook had been a bundle of nerves the past week, constantly second-guessing himself, and now, with Jimin pushing him, it was all coming to a head.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Jimin’s voice was calm but teasing, his words hanging in the air like a challenge.
Jungkook stopped pacing and glared at his friend. "I told you, hyung, I know what I’m doing."
Y/N, who had stayed silent until now, crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Do you?"
Both Jungkook and Jimin turned to look at her. Jimin's smile widened, clearly enjoying the tension, while Jungkook’s eyes softened the moment they landed on her. He looked nervous, which was unlike him. Usually, he was the confident, carefree type, but around her, there was a vulnerability that Y/N both cherished and worried about.
"Of course, I do," Jungkook replied, his voice quieter now. He walked over to her, hesitating for a moment before taking her hand in his. His thumb brushed over her knuckles, a nervous habit she had come to recognize. "I just… I don’t want to mess things up."
Y/N sighed softly, squeezing his hand. "Kook, you're not going to mess things up. But if you're not ready, that's okay too."
Jimin, still lounging against the wall, raised his hands in mock surrender. "Hey, don’t look at me. I’m just the innocent bystander here."
Jungkook shot him a look. "Innocent, my ass."
Y/N let out a laugh despite herself. Jungkook’s tension seemed to ease at the sound of her laughter, his lips twitching into a small smile. He loved making her laugh, even when he was anxious.
Jimin, sensing the moment had passed, straightened up and pushed off the wall. "Alright, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone. But Kook," he paused at the door, glancing back at his younger friend, "just don’t overthink it. You already have her. That’s all that matters."
As Jimin left the room, the silence settled between them. Jungkook turned back to Y/N, his dark eyes searching her face for reassurance. Y/N smiled softly and reached up to brush a strand of hair away from his face.
"Why are you so nervous?" she asked gently.
Jungkook let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. "It’s just… everything with you is so important to me. I don’t want to make a mistake. I don’t want you to regret being with me."
Y/N’s heart ached at his words. She had never doubted her feelings for him, not once. From the moment they had gotten closer, there had been an undeniable connection between them. Sure, there were challenges—there always were when feelings were involved—but she knew Jungkook was worth every second.
"Jungkook," she said softly, stepping closer to him, "I don’t regret anything. Being with you is the best decision I’ve ever made."
He looked down at her, his expression conflicted. "But what if—"
Y/N cut him off by placing her hand gently on his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat beneath her palm. "No 'what ifs.' Just us. Right here, right now."
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Jungkook’s hand came up to cover hers, holding it against his chest as if anchoring himself to her. His eyes softened, the vulnerability still there but tempered by the trust they had built together.
"Are you sure?" he asked quietly, his voice barely above a whisper, echoing Jimin’s earlier teasing question but with a seriousness that tugged at Y/N’s heart.
Y/N smiled up at him, her eyes filled with affection. "I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life."
The tension in Jungkook’s shoulders finally eased, and he pulled her into his arms, holding her close. Y/N wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. In that moment, everything else faded away. It was just the two of them, wrapped up in each other.
"I love you," he whispered into her hair, the words so soft she almost missed them.
But she heard, and her heart swelled in response. She tilted her head up to look at him, meeting his gaze with all the love she felt for him. "I love you too."
Jungkook leaned down, his lips brushing hers in a gentle kiss that quickly deepened, filled with all the emotions they couldn’t put into words. It was tender, yet passionate, a promise of everything they had yet to experience together.
When they finally pulled apart, Jungkook rested his forehead against hers, his breath coming out in soft puffs. "I’m sorry for overthinking everything."
Y/N laughed softly, her fingers tracing patterns on his chest. "You don’t have to apologize for that. We’re both figuring this out together."
He smiled, that familiar bunny grin that melted her heart every time. "Together."
Y/N nodded, leaning up to press another kiss to his lips. "Always."
And in that moment, with her arms around Jungkook and his soft smile still lingering, Y/N knew they were going to be okay. Whatever challenges came their way, they would face them together, hand in hand, just as they always had.
Jungkook wasn’t perfect, but neither was she. And that was okay. Because, as Jimin had said, they already had each other—and that was all that mattered.
The next few days felt like a whirlwind, with Jungkook and Y/N caught between the excitement of being together and the uncertainty that came with it. Despite their intimate conversation, Y/N could tell something was still bothering him.
She found herself sitting at the dorm one evening, flipping through the latest webtoon on her phone, while Jungkook was in the studio, working on some new tracks. The quiet was comfortable but heavy, as if both of them were trying to avoid something unsaid.
The door creaked open, and Jimin peeked in, his mischievous smile immediately catching Y/N’s attention.
“Hey,” he said, stepping into the room like he owned the place. “You alone?”
“Jungkook’s working,” Y/N replied, setting her phone down.
Jimin nodded as if he expected that answer. “Busy as always, huh?”
Y/N smiled slightly. “Yeah. You know how he is. He won’t stop until it’s perfect.”
Jimin plopped down beside her, stretching his arms out across the back of the couch. “And how’s he been? Still overthinking?”
Y/N sighed. “A little. He’s been trying not to show it, but I can tell. I just don’t know how to make him see that there’s nothing to worry about.”
Jimin regarded her with a thoughtful expression, the playfulness fading slightly. “Kook’s been like that since forever. He overanalyzes everything, especially when it comes to people he cares about. He just doesn’t want to let you down.”
“I know,” Y/N murmured. “But he’s not letting me down. I wish he’d believe that.”
Jimin tilted his head, looking like he was weighing his words. “You know,” he said slowly, “sometimes it’s not about convincing him with words. You’ve got to show him that you’re in this for the long haul. Actions speak louder, right?”
Y/N narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “What are you suggesting, Jimin?”
His mischievous grin returned. “Maybe you need to challenge him. Push him out of his head a little. Make him realize that you’re here for all of it—the good and the bad.”
Y/N raised an eyebrow. “And how do I do that?”
Jimin shrugged casually, but there was a glint in his eyes. “I don’t know… maybe something bold. Like, I don’t know, a dare.”
“A dare?” she repeated, not sure where this was going.
Jimin nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! Jungkook thrives on competition, right? Daring him to do something he wouldn’t normally do might break that wall he’s been building in his head.”
Y/N considered it. “What kind of dare?”
Jimin leaned in conspiratorially. “Something that will make him stop overthinking and just act. You know, get him to be in the moment.”
Y/N bit her lip, feeling a surge of excitement at the thought of pushing Jungkook out of his comfort zone. She knew Jimin was right—sometimes, the best way to get through to Jungkook was by shaking things up. A playful challenge might be exactly what they needed.
“All right,” she said, standing up with new determination. “Let’s do this.”
Later that night, Y/N found Jungkook still hunched over his desk in the studio, the soft glow of the monitor illuminating his focused expression. His headphones covered his ears, and he was bobbing his head slightly to the beat, completely engrossed in his work.
Y/N stood in the doorway for a moment, watching him with a fond smile. As much as she loved seeing him so passionate about his music, she knew he was using it as a way to avoid his feelings—his fears.
Taking a deep breath, Y/N walked up behind him and gently tapped his shoulder. Jungkook flinched slightly, pulling off his headphones and turning to face her.
“Oh, hey,” he said, his voice surprised but warm. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
Y/N smiled. “You’re pretty focused, huh?”
He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Yeah, sorry. I was just trying to get this right.”
“I know,” she said softly, sitting down beside him. “But I think you need a break.”
Jungkook raised an eyebrow, clearly intrigued by her tone. “A break? What did you have in mind?”
Y/N grinned mischievously, her heart pounding a little at what she was about to suggest. “How about… a dare?”
Jungkook blinked in surprise. “A dare?”
“Yeah,” she said, leaning in slightly. “You, me, a dare. Let’s make a bet.”
His eyes sparkled with interest, though a hint of hesitation remained. “What kind of bet?”
Y/N smirked. “You always beat me at everything—video games, sports, even karaoke. So this time, let’s see if you can beat me at something new.”
Jungkook’s competitive side kicked in immediately, the tension in his body easing as he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms across his chest. “What’s the dare?”
Y/N’s heart raced. She hadn’t fully thought this through, but Jimin’s words echoed in her mind. She had to make him feel confident, make him act on his instincts rather than overthinking. Something bold.
“I dare you…” she began, looking him straight in the eye, “…to kiss me.”
Jungkook’s eyes widened slightly, caught off guard by the sudden challenge. He swallowed hard, his gaze flicking to her lips before quickly looking away.
“Are you sure?” he asked quietly, echoing the same question from before, his vulnerability showing again.
Y/N nodded, her voice steady even though her heart was racing. “I’m sure.”
For a moment, he didn’t move, clearly fighting with himself. But then, something shifted in his expression. The hesitation faded, replaced by the familiar fire of determination Y/N loved so much. Without another word, Jungkook leaned forward, cupping her face gently with one hand as his lips found hers.
The kiss was soft at first, hesitant, like he was still making sure this was real. But as Y/N responded, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer, the kiss deepened, and all the doubts seemed to melt away.
When they finally pulled apart, both of them breathless, Jungkook rested his forehead against hers, his eyes still closed. He didn’t say anything, but the relief and emotion on his face spoke volumes.
“You’re not going to lose me, Kook,” Y/N whispered softly. “You never were.”
Jungkook opened his eyes, meeting hers with a new sense of confidence. He smiled, a genuine smile that made her heart skip a beat.
“Okay,” he said, his voice low and full of warmth. “I believe you.”
And in that moment, Y/N knew they had crossed a line. It wasn’t just a kiss or a dare. It was a promise—one that neither of them would ever break.
The days following their kiss felt different. It wasn’t the usual shift that came after a relationship milestone; it was something deeper, something that grounded both Y/N and Jungkook in a way neither of them had expected.
Jungkook had always been intense—whether it was about his music, his workouts, or even the smallest things, like deciding what to eat. He poured himself into everything. But when it came to their relationship, that intensity had a new layer. After their kiss, it was as if a weight had lifted off him, and now he wore his love for her as openly as he did his passion for music.
One night, a few days later, Y/N found herself in Jungkook’s room at the dorms. The others were out, leaving them in the rare quiet that the dorm never usually had. Jungkook sat on the edge of his bed, his guitar in his hands, absently strumming a few soft chords while Y/N lay sprawled on the bed, her head resting on one of the pillows as she watched him with a soft smile.
The way he focused when he played, his brow furrowing in concentration, was one of her favorite things about him. Music was his safe place. It always had been. But what she loved even more was how much he’d started to share it with her. Little things, like humming a melody he was working on or asking her what she thought of a lyric idea. It made her feel closer to him, more woven into the fabric of his life.
"How’s the song coming along?" she asked, breaking the comfortable silence.
Jungkook paused, looking up at her with a small smile. "It’s getting there. I was thinking of making the bridge a bit more stripped back, maybe just the guitar."
Y/N propped herself up on her elbows, curious. "Can I hear it?"
Jungkook’s eyes flicked to her, a hint of nervousness crossing his face, but then he relaxed. He trusted her. He knew she wasn’t here to judge, only to listen. Without saying anything, he began to play.
The melody was gentle, almost intimate, and Y/N closed her eyes as the notes filled the room. His voice, when he started singing, was low and soft, like he was sharing a secret only meant for her. The lyrics were simple but filled with emotion—about holding on, about being afraid but finding strength in love.
As he reached the bridge, the one he’d mentioned, the music faded into just the soft strum of the guitar, his voice almost a whisper now. And as the last chord rang out, there was a moment of stillness. Y/N opened her eyes to find Jungkook watching her closely, like he was waiting for her reaction.
“That was beautiful,” she said, her voice filled with awe.
Jungkook blushed, a soft chuckle escaping him as he set the guitar down beside him. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure if it was too… soft.”
Y/N shook her head, sitting up fully now. “No, not at all. It’s perfect. It feels… real.”
Jungkook’s gaze softened, and for a moment, they just looked at each other. There was no need for words. It was that same quiet understanding they’d shared since the beginning—the kind that didn’t need explanations.
“You inspire me, you know,” Jungkook said after a moment, his voice soft. “A lot of the time when I write, I’m thinking about us.”
Y/N’s heart fluttered at his confession. She smiled, her fingers playing with the edge of the blanket. “I’m happy I can be a part of it.”
Jungkook shifted closer to her on the bed, his hand reaching out to take hers. His fingers traced small circles on the back of her hand, a habit he’d developed whenever they were close. It was a simple gesture, but one that always made Y/N feel warm.
“I’ve been thinking,” Jungkook started, his voice quieter now, like he was unsure how to say what was on his mind.
“About what?” Y/N prompted, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.
He hesitated for a moment, his eyes flicking down to their joined hands before looking back up at her. “About the future. Us. I know I’ve been in my head a lot recently, and I don’t want you to think I’m doubting us, but… I just want to be sure that I’m doing right by you.”
Y/N’s heart squeezed at his words. She knew Jungkook’s biggest fear was not being enough, not living up to the expectations he set for himself. But she also knew that those fears were unfounded. He was everything she could ever want—kind, passionate, fiercely loyal. She didn’t need him to be perfect. She just needed him to be him.
“Kook,” she said softly, reaching up to cup his cheek. “You don’t have to worry about that. I don’t expect you to have all the answers, and I don’t need you to be perfect. I just want you to be yourself. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
Jungkook closed his eyes, leaning into her touch, his breath steadying. When he opened his eyes again, there was a determination there—a quiet but strong resolve that made Y/N’s heart skip a beat.
“I know,” he said quietly. “But I want to make a promise to you, Y/N.”
Y/N’s brows furrowed slightly in confusion. “A promise?”
Jungkook nodded, sitting up straighter now, his gaze never leaving hers. “I promise that I’ll always try. No matter what happens, no matter how hard things get, I’m going to keep trying. For us. For you.”
His words hung in the air, filled with sincerity and emotion. Y/N could feel the weight of them, the way they settled into her heart like an anchor. It wasn’t a grand declaration or a sweeping gesture, but it was real. And that meant more to her than anything.
She smiled, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears as she leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. When she pulled back, she whispered, “I promise the same.”
Jungkook smiled, a soft, genuine smile that made her heart flutter all over again. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into his chest as they sat there, holding each other in the quiet of the room.
For a long time, neither of them spoke. They didn’t need to. The promises they had made were enough. And as they sat there, wrapped up in each other, Y/N realized that she didn’t need anything more than this—this quiet, this connection, this love that they had built together.
Jungkook wasn’t perfect, but neither was she. And in the end, that was what made them perfect for each other.
The night after their quiet promises, everything between Y/N and Jungkook felt deeper, more solid, as if the quiet moments they shared had built an unbreakable foundation. They weren’t the type to rush things—they let their relationship evolve naturally, both of them learning to embrace the little things.
But despite the warmth of those moments, Y/N noticed something lingering in Jungkook’s eyes. There was a flicker of uncertainty, a shadow of fear that she knew all too well. It wasn’t loud, and he wasn’t vocal about it, but it was there, beneath the surface. And she couldn’t ignore it anymore.
One evening, as they were curled up on the couch watching a movie, Y/N’s attention was far from the screen. Her head rested on Jungkook’s shoulder, but her thoughts were on him—on the walls he was still holding up, even after their promises. He was trying, she knew that. But there was something he wasn’t saying.
She tilted her head to look up at him. His face was illuminated by the dim light of the TV, eyes focused but distant, his fingers gently tracing patterns on her arm as they sat together. He looked peaceful, but there was a tension in his posture that she couldn’t ignore.
“Hey,” she said softly, her voice barely louder than a whisper.
Jungkook turned his head slightly, glancing down at her with a small smile. “Yeah?”
Y/N hesitated for a moment, unsure of how to bring it up. But she couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine when she knew he was still carrying something heavy. “You’ve been… quiet lately. Not just tonight, but in general. Is everything okay?”
Jungkook blinked, caught off guard by the question. He shifted a little, as if trying to brush off the concern, but Y/N wasn’t going to let him retreat into himself this time.
“I’m fine,” he said softly, though his tone lacked conviction. “Just been busy with work, you know?”
Y/N gave him a look, one that told him she wasn’t buying it. “Kook… you don’t have to pretend with me. I know when something’s bothering you.”
He looked away, his jaw clenching slightly. The silence stretched between them, and Y/N could feel him pulling back—not physically, but emotionally. It was a familiar dance, one that had happened before when he felt overwhelmed. But this time, she wasn’t going to let it slide.
“Talk to me,” she whispered, reaching for his hand and intertwining their fingers. “Please.”
Jungkook’s grip on her hand tightened, and for a moment, he didn’t say anything. His eyes stayed fixed on the TV screen, but she knew he wasn’t really watching it. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he spoke, his voice so quiet she almost didn’t hear it.
“I’m scared,” he admitted, his voice barely audible.
Y/N’s heart clenched at the raw honesty in his words. She sat up a little, turning her body to face him fully. “Scared of what?”
Jungkook let out a long breath, his eyes still avoiding hers. “Of not being enough for you. Of screwing this up somehow. I know we’ve talked about it before, but… it’s still there. That fear. You mean so much to me, Y/N, and I don’t want to lose you.”
Y/N felt her throat tighten as she listened to him. She had known he was struggling, but hearing the vulnerability in his voice—hearing how deeply his fears ran—hit her harder than she expected. She squeezed his hand, leaning in closer.
“You’re not going to lose me,” she said softly, her voice filled with as much conviction as she could muster. “You won’t.”
Jungkook finally turned to look at her, his eyes dark and filled with a depth of emotion that made her heart ache. “I just… I’ve never felt this way about anyone before. And it scares me how much I care. I keep thinking… what if I mess up? What if I hurt you?”
“You won’t,” Y/N replied firmly, her gaze never wavering. “I know you, Jungkook. You’d never hurt me. And even if we have challenges, we’ll face them together. That’s what being in a relationship is about. We’ll have ups and downs, but I’m not going anywhere.”
Jungkook looked at her, his expression softening, but the doubt was still there, lingering in the back of his mind. “What if one day you wake up and realize I’m not enough for you? What if… what if you get tired of me?”
Y/N’s heart ached at his words. She reached up, cupping his face in her hands, her thumbs gently brushing against his skin. “That’s never going to happen. Jungkook, I love you. All of you. The way you care so deeply, the way you always put your whole heart into everything you do. I love you for who you are—not for some idea of perfection.”
Tears shimmered in Jungkook’s eyes, and he blinked rapidly, trying to hold them back. He had always been so strong, so determined, but in moments like this, Y/N saw the vulnerability he tried to hide from the world.
“I’m not perfect,” he whispered, his voice breaking slightly.
Y/N smiled softly, pressing her forehead against his. “You don’t have to be. I don’t want perfect. I just want you.”
For a long moment, they stayed like that, their foreheads touching, their breaths mingling as they held onto each other. Jungkook’s hand tightened around hers, his thumb brushing over her knuckles in that familiar, comforting way.
“I’m trying,” he whispered, his voice filled with raw emotion. “I’m really trying.”
“I know,” Y/N whispered back, her voice soft but steady. “And that’s enough for me.”
Jungkook’s eyes met hers again, and this time, there was something different in them—something stronger. The vulnerability was still there, but so was a quiet determination, a resolve to keep fighting for what they had.
He leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to her lips, and when he pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers once more. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice filled with a tenderness that made Y/N’s heart swell.
“I love you too,” she whispered back, her fingers tracing gentle patterns on his cheek. “And we’re going to be okay. No matter what.”
As they sat there in the quiet, the only sound the soft hum of the TV in the background, Y/N felt a sense of peace settle over them. It wasn’t the kind of peace that came from having all the answers, but the kind that came from knowing they didn’t need to have them all right now.
They had each other. And for now, that was more than enough.
A few weeks passed, and while things between Y/N and Jungkook had become more open, more emotionally honest, there were still moments when Jungkook seemed distant. He was trying—Y/N could see it in the way he always made time for her, in the way his hands lingered on hers when they sat together, in the soft kisses he’d place on her forehead when he thought she wasn’t paying attention. But there was still a tension between them, a space that neither of them had quite figured out how to close.
One evening, after a particularly long day at the studio, Jungkook came home exhausted. Y/N was waiting for him in the kitchen, having made dinner for them both. She had hoped a quiet evening together would help them reconnect, but as soon as he walked in, she could tell something was off. His usual bright energy was dim, his shoulders tense, and the light that normally filled his eyes was clouded over with frustration.
“You okay?” Y/N asked, her voice soft as she approached him. She reached out, gently touching his arm.
Jungkook nodded, though the gesture was half-hearted. “Yeah… just tired,” he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “The song’s not coming together the way I want it to. Feels like I’m hitting a wall.”
Y/N frowned, sensing his frustration. “Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I can help.”
Jungkook shook his head, giving her a small, forced smile. “Nah, it’s fine. I just need to clear my head.”
Y/N bit her lip, watching him as he walked past her, heading for the bathroom to wash up. She knew he wasn’t just tired from work. It was something deeper, something that had been building for a while. The more they opened up to each other, the more it seemed like Jungkook was struggling with something inside himself—something he couldn’t quite name.
Later that night, they sat down for dinner, but the usual light banter between them was absent. The conversation was stilted, filled with small talk about work and schedules. Y/N could feel the growing distance, like an invisible wall had sprung up between them, and it was starting to weigh heavily on her heart.
After dinner, they sat on the couch, but instead of pulling her close like he usually did, Jungkook sat with a bit of space between them, his eyes glued to his phone as he scrolled through emails. Y/N tried to focus on the movie playing, but her attention kept drifting to him—to the way his jaw was clenched, the way his fingers drummed against his thigh in a nervous rhythm.
Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore.
“Kook,” she said softly, breaking the silence. “Can we talk?”
Jungkook looked up, his eyes widening slightly in surprise. He set his phone down, his expression guarded. “Talk about what?”
Y/N sighed, her heart heavy. “About us. About… whatever’s going on.”
Jungkook frowned, confusion flickering in his eyes. “What do you mean? I thought things were good between us.”
“They are,” Y/N said quickly, not wanting to give him the wrong impression. “But lately, it feels like you’ve been… pulling away. Like there’s something on your mind that you’re not telling me.”
Jungkook’s gaze dropped to the floor, and for a moment, he didn’t respond. Y/N’s heart sank at the sight of him retreating into himself again.
“I just don’t want to put my stress on you,” Jungkook finally said, his voice low. “You already have enough to deal with, and I don’t want to burden you with my problems.”
Y/N shook her head, reaching for his hand. “Kook, we’re in this together. You’re not burdening me. I want to help you, but I can’t if you won’t let me in.”
Jungkook sighed, his thumb gently brushing against her hand. “I know. I’m just… I don’t know how to explain it. I feel like I’m stuck between wanting to be the best version of myself for you and constantly feeling like I’m not enough. Every time I try to shake it off, it just comes back. It’s like… no matter how hard I try, I keep doubting myself.”
Y/N’s heart ached at his words. She had known he was struggling, but hearing the depth of his insecurities made her realize just how hard he’d been trying to keep it all together for her. She squeezed his hand, pulling him closer to her.
“You don’t have to be perfect for me,” she said softly. “I’ve never asked you to be.”
“I know,” Jungkook whispered, his eyes filled with a mixture of frustration and vulnerability. “But it’s hard not to want to be. I see you and how patient you’ve been with me, how much you care… and I feel like I’m failing at giving you what you deserve.”
Y/N leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “You’re not failing. You’re doing more than enough, Kook. I love you for who you are, not for who you think you should be.”
Jungkook closed his eyes, his shoulders slumping as if the weight he had been carrying finally became too heavy. “I’m just scared, Y/N. Scared that one day you’ll wake up and realize I’m not worth it.”
Y/N’s chest tightened at his words. She could hear the pain in his voice, the fear that had been plaguing him for so long. But more than that, she could hear how much he loved her—how deeply he cared.
She reached out, cupping his face in her hands, forcing him to meet her gaze. “I’m never going to wake up and feel that way. Do you hear me? You’re more than worth it, Jungkook. You’ve always been.”
Jungkook looked at her, his eyes searching hers for any sign of doubt. When he found none, his expression softened, and he leaned into her touch. “I don’t deserve you.”
Y/N shook her head, her fingers gently brushing against his skin. “That’s not true. You deserve to be loved, Kook. And I’m going to keep reminding you of that until you believe it.”
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Jungkook’s hand reached up to cover hers, holding it against his cheek as he closed his eyes, the tension in his body slowly melting away. Y/N could feel the shift in him, the way he was finally letting himself be vulnerable with her.
“Thank you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “For loving me.”
Y/N smiled softly, her heart swelling with emotion. “Always.”
They sat there for a while longer, their hands intertwined, the weight of their conversation hanging in the air like a quiet promise. The space between them that had felt so large just moments ago was gone, replaced by a newfound understanding, a deeper connection.
Jungkook still had his insecurities, and Y/N knew it would take time for him to fully believe in himself the way she did. But she was patient, and she was willing to fight for him—for them. Because no matter how hard things got, she knew one thing for sure: they were worth it.
And as Jungkook pulled her closer, resting his head against hers, Y/N felt a sense of peace wash over her. They had a long way to go, but for now, they had each other. And that was more than enough.
As the weeks passed, Y/N and Jungkook’s relationship settled into a more comfortable rhythm. They’d navigated the hardest parts, or so it seemed, and there was a new closeness between them. Jungkook’s insecurities hadn’t disappeared overnight, but he was trying. He was more open with Y/N, letting her in on his doubts when they arose instead of shutting her out.
But life wasn’t always as smooth as they wanted it to be. Between his schedule with BTS and her own busy life, they rarely had time to themselves. Jungkook’s stress, though manageable now, ebbed and flowed with the demands of their world.
One evening, after a long day of rehearsals, Jungkook was unusually quiet again. Y/N had gotten used to recognizing the signs—his hands fidgeting more than usual, his lips pressed together in a tight line, and his gaze distant, even when they were in the same room. He’d come home later than expected, exhaustion written across his face as he dropped his bag by the door and muttered a quick “hey.”
Y/N stood up from the couch, concern lacing her features. “Kook? You okay?”
Jungkook nodded, but it was the same kind of half-hearted response he gave when something was bothering him. “Yeah, just tired.”
She walked over to him, brushing her hand against his arm. “You sure? You seem a little off.”
He sighed, his shoulders slumping as he leaned against the kitchen counter. “It’s just a lot, Y/N. I’ve got this comeback, we’re filming stuff for the tour… I feel like I’m drowning sometimes.”
Y/N nodded, understanding the weight he carried. Being in one of the world’s biggest groups came with intense pressure, and while he loved it, she knew it wasn’t easy. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Jungkook shook his head. “I don’t know if talking will help. I just—” He broke off, his frustration evident. “I just feel like I’m not doing enough. Like no matter how hard I try, I’m always falling short.”
Y/N felt a familiar pang in her chest. They’d been here before—this cycle of self-doubt, of Jungkook feeling like he wasn’t living up to some impossible standard he’d set for himself. She stepped closer, gently placing her hands on his chest. “Kook, you’re doing everything you can. You’ve been working so hard.”
His jaw tightened, and for a moment, he looked away, as if he didn’t quite believe her. “I know you say that, but… what if it’s not enough? What if I’m not enough?”
Y/N’s heart ached at his words. She knew how deeply he felt things, how much he put on his own shoulders, but it hurt to see him like this—to see the person she loved so fiercely doubting himself over and over again.
“You are enough,” she said firmly, her voice filled with conviction. “More than enough, Jungkook. You don’t have to be perfect all the time. You’re allowed to be tired, to feel overwhelmed. But please don’t think for a second that you’re not enough.”
Jungkook’s eyes softened as he looked at her, but she could still see the turmoil swirling behind them. He leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers, his breath warm against her skin. “I’m trying,” he whispered, his voice heavy with emotion. “I’m trying so hard.”
Y/N’s hand slid up to the back of his neck, her fingers gently threading through his hair. “I know you are. And I’m so proud of you for that. But you don’t have to carry all of this on your own. You have me. Let me help you.”
For a moment, Jungkook didn’t respond. His eyes closed, and she could feel the tension in his body slowly start to ease. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close, and for a while, they just stood there, holding each other in the quiet of the kitchen.
But the calm didn’t last long.
Later that night, after they’d settled into bed, Jungkook’s phone buzzed with a notification. It was from one of the producers he’d been working with, asking for a revision on a track they’d been finalizing. Y/N watched as his expression darkened, his earlier exhaustion settling back into his features.
“I thought we were done with this song,” Jungkook muttered under his breath as he typed a reply, his frustration building. “Why can’t they just let it be?”
Y/N sat up, her heart sinking. She hated seeing him like this, so on edge, so consumed by the pressure to be perfect. “Maybe you should take a break from it tonight,” she suggested gently. “You’ve been working on it non-stop.”
“I can’t,” Jungkook snapped, more harshly than he intended. He immediately regretted it, his eyes flickering to hers with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s okay,” Y/N interrupted, her voice soft. “I get it. You’re stressed.”
Jungkook sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I just… it’s never enough. No matter what I do, there’s always something else. And I’m scared, Y/N. Scared that I’m going to let everyone down—you, the members, ARMY—everyone.”
Y/N’s chest tightened at the raw vulnerability in his voice. She reached for his hand, squeezing it tightly. “You’re not letting anyone down, Kook. You’re doing everything you can, and everyone knows that. But you can’t keep running yourself into the ground like this. It’s okay to take a step back.”
Jungkook looked at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of frustration and desperation. “I don’t know how,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to stop.”
Y/N’s heart broke at his words. She could see how much he was struggling, how hard he was fighting to keep everything together, but she knew he couldn’t keep going like this. He needed to rest, to breathe, to let himself be human.
“You don’t have to do this alone,” she said softly, her thumb brushing over his knuckles. “I’m here for you. Always.”
For a long moment, Jungkook didn’t say anything. He just stared at her, his eyes filled with emotion, before finally pulling her into his arms. He buried his face in her hair, his breath shaky as he held her tightly.
“I’m scared of disappointing you,” he whispered, his voice so quiet it was barely audible. “I’m scared of losing you.”
Y/N’s heart clenched at his confession, tears welling up in her eyes. She pulled back slightly, cupping his face in her hands. “You’re never going to lose me, Jungkook. I’m not going anywhere.”
Jungkook’s gaze softened, his hands gently gripping her waist as he rested his forehead against hers. “Promise?”
“I promise,” Y/N whispered, her voice filled with unwavering certainty.
They stayed like that for a while, the weight of their conversation hanging in the air like a storm that had finally passed. The tension between them had eased, and though there were still challenges ahead, Y/N knew they would face them together.
As they lay back down, wrapped in each other’s arms, Jungkook’s breathing eventually evened out, the exhaustion of the day finally taking its toll. Y/N stayed awake for a little while longer, her fingers gently running through his hair as she watched him sleep.
She knew there were still struggles ahead, that Jungkook’s fears wouldn’t disappear overnight. But she also knew one thing for certain: she wasn’t going to let him face them alone.
And that thought, more than anything, gave her peace.
The following days felt like a delicate balance—like walking on a tightrope between Jungkook’s intense schedule and the fragile emotional state he’d been carrying for weeks. Y/N did everything she could to be his support, but it wasn’t always easy. Every day was a new challenge for him, and even with their quiet moments of connection, Y/N could feel the pressure building inside him again.
One evening, after a particularly draining day at the studio, Jungkook came home looking worse than ever. His usual spark was completely gone, replaced by an exhaustion that weighed heavily in his eyes and posture. He threw his jacket on the couch and immediately headed for the bedroom without saying a word.
Y/N frowned, watching him go. She knew he was trying, but lately, it felt like every step forward came with two steps back. The fear that had been creeping into her heart was now an undeniable presence—what if this was too much for them to handle?
Taking a deep breath, she followed him into the bedroom. Jungkook was sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees, his hands tangled in his hair. The silence between them felt suffocating, and for a moment, Y/N wasn’t sure what to say.
“Jungkook?” she called out softly, stepping closer.
He didn’t look up, his voice tired and strained. “I can’t do this anymore, Y/N.”
Her heart skipped a beat. “What do you mean?”
Jungkook let out a long breath, his shoulders slumping further. “This… all of it. The pressure, the constant feeling of not being enough, the expectations. I feel like I’m losing myself. And I’m scared that… I’m dragging you down with me.”
Y/N’s chest tightened, her pulse quickening. She could see the weight of his words—this wasn’t just about his career or the stress of being an idol. It was about them. The relationship they had fought so hard to build. And in that moment, Y/N realized just how deep his fear of failing had grown.
“Kook,” she said, sitting down beside him and placing a gentle hand on his back. “You’re not dragging me down. I’m here because I want to be with you, no matter how hard things get.”
Jungkook shook his head, his voice breaking slightly. “But I feel like I’m breaking, Y/N. And I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know if I can.”
Y/N’s heart ached as she watched him unravel before her. She had seen him struggle before, but this was different. This was deeper—like all the cracks he had been trying to hide were finally showing, and he didn’t know how to hold them together anymore.
“Then let me help you,” she whispered, her hand gently running up and down his back in a soothing motion. “You don’t have to do this alone.”
Jungkook turned his head slightly, finally looking at her with eyes that were filled with so much pain, it made Y/N’s chest tighten. “What if I can’t? What if… I’m too far gone?”
Y/N swallowed hard, her mind racing. She didn’t want to believe that. She couldn’t believe that. Jungkook wasn’t too far gone—he was just lost in the chaos of everything he had been carrying for so long. But she could see how much it was hurting him, how much it was hurting them.
“You’re not too far gone,” she said firmly, taking his face in her hands. “You’re just… tired. You’re overwhelmed. And that’s okay. But you don’t have to keep punishing yourself for feeling that way.”
Jungkook’s lips parted slightly, his eyes flickering with uncertainty. He looked like he wanted to believe her, but something held him back, something that ran deeper than just the stress of his job. It was the same fear he’d been carrying all along—the fear that no matter how hard he tried, it would never be enough. Not for his career, not for his fans, and not for Y/N.
“I just don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I love you too much to drag you through this.”
Y/N shook her head, her fingers gently brushing against his cheek. “You’re not hurting me, Kook. I’m here because I love you. I choose to be here, through all of this. But I need you to trust me. Trust that we can get through this together.”
Jungkook closed his eyes, his forehead resting against hers. His breath was shaky, and Y/N could feel the tension in his body as he tried to hold it together.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he whispered, his voice barely audible. “But I feel like I’m slipping away from myself.”
Y/N’s heart shattered at his words, and she pulled him into her arms, holding him tightly. “You’re not losing me,” she murmured against his shoulder. “We’ll figure this out. We’ll find a way to get through it.”
For a long moment, they stayed like that, wrapped in each other’s arms, the silence between them heavy but comforting. Y/N could feel Jungkook’s body relax slightly in her embrace, but she knew the battle he was fighting inside wasn’t over. He was still struggling, still carrying the weight of his own expectations and the fear of not being enough.
But Y/N wasn’t going to let him face it alone.
“I’m scared too, you know,” she admitted softly, her voice trembling slightly. “I’m scared of losing you, scared of not being enough for you. But I’m not giving up on us. No matter how hard it gets.”
Jungkook pulled back slightly, his eyes searching hers. “You shouldn’t have to carry my problems, Y/N. You deserve better than this.”
“I don’t want better,” Y/N replied, her voice filled with conviction. “I want you.”
Jungkook’s eyes softened, and for the first time in what felt like forever, Y/N saw a flicker of hope in them. It wasn’t much, but it was enough for her to hold onto.
He leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. When he pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers once more, his hands gently cradling her face.
“I don’t know how to thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” he whispered, his voice filled with emotion. “I don’t deserve you.”
Y/N shook her head, her heart swelling with love for him. “You don’t have to thank me, Kook. Just let me love you. That’s all I want.”
Jungkook’s grip on her tightened, and for a moment, the world around them seemed to fade away. It was just them, holding onto each other in the quiet of their room, their hearts beating in sync despite the chaos that surrounded them.
And in that moment, Y/N knew that no matter how hard things got, they were going to make it. Because they had each other.
And that was all they needed.
In the days that followed, a subtle shift began to take place in their relationship. Jungkook, while still struggling with the pressure of his career, started to lean on Y/N more. He let her in—bit by bit—and it was a relief for both of them. But it didn’t mean that the weight he carried lessened. It only meant that now, they were carrying it together.
It was another late night when Y/N found herself sitting on the couch, absentmindedly scrolling through her phone while waiting for Jungkook to return from the studio. They had been having more of these quiet evenings lately, with him working late and her trying to keep herself busy in his absence.
When the front door finally clicked open, Y/N glanced up to see him step inside, looking every bit as drained as he had the night before. His hair was damp from the rain outside, droplets trickling down his neck, but what worried her more was the distant look in his eyes. It was the same haunted expression he’d had before, the one that told her he was spiraling inward again.
“Kook?” she asked softly, standing up and walking toward him.
He didn’t respond immediately, instead kicking off his shoes and running a hand through his wet hair. He dropped his bag by the door and stared at the floor, the silence between them heavy and suffocating.
“Jungkook, talk to me,” Y/N urged, her voice gentle but firm as she placed a hand on his arm.
Finally, he looked up at her, and the sadness in his eyes made her heart ache. “I’m trying, Y/N,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “But it feels like no matter what I do, it’s never enough.”
Y/N took a deep breath, her hands instinctively reaching out to take his. “It’s enough, Kook. You’re enough.”
Jungkook shook his head, his jaw tightening. “How can you say that when I feel like I’m falling apart? When every day I’m pushing myself to the edge just to keep up? I can’t even remember the last time I felt… happy.”
Y/N’s chest tightened. Hearing him admit that hurt more than she’d anticipated. She had known he was struggling, but to hear that he couldn’t remember feeling truly happy? It was like a punch to the gut.
“I hate seeing you like this,” she whispered, her voice breaking slightly. “I hate that you’re carrying all of this alone.”
“I’m not alone,” Jungkook said, his gaze softening as he squeezed her hands. “I have you. And I’m so grateful for that. But it’s not fair to you. I feel like I’m dragging you down with me.”
Y/N shook her head, stepping closer to him. “You’re not dragging me down, Kook. I choose to be here, remember? I’m not going anywhere, no matter how hard it gets. We’re in this together.”
Jungkook let out a shaky breath, his eyes closing as if he was trying to hold himself together. Y/N could see the exhaustion etched into every part of him—the physical and emotional toll it was taking. She gently cupped his face in her hands, her thumbs brushing over his damp cheeks.
“You’re not alone,” she repeated softly, her voice filled with conviction. “And you don’t have to do this alone. We’ll figure it out, one day at a time.”
Jungkook opened his eyes, and for a moment, the vulnerability in his gaze nearly broke her. He looked like he was holding on by a thread, like he wanted so desperately to believe her but didn’t know how.
“I don’t know how to fix this,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.
“You don’t have to fix it all at once,” Y/N replied, her heart aching for him. “You just need to take a breath, step back, and let yourself feel everything. You don’t always have to be the strongest person in the room, Kook.”
Jungkook let out a bitter laugh, though there was no humor in it. “I’m not strong, Y/N. Not like people think I am.”
Y/N frowned, her hands tightening around his. “You are strong. Stronger than you give yourself credit for. But strength doesn’t mean you have to carry everything alone. It’s okay to lean on the people who care about you.”
Jungkook stared at her for a long moment, his expression torn between wanting to believe her and the weight of everything he had been carrying for so long. His shoulders slumped, and he pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as if she was the only thing keeping him grounded.
“I’m so tired,” he whispered against her hair, his voice trembling. “I don’t know how to stop feeling like this.”
Y/N’s arms wrapped around him, her hand gently rubbing his back in soothing circles. “You don’t have to have all the answers right now,” she murmured. “But we’ll get through this. One step at a time.”
Jungkook buried his face in her shoulder, and for a long moment, they stood there, holding onto each other as if the world outside didn’t exist. Y/N could feel the tension slowly leaving his body, and though she knew the road ahead wasn’t going to be easy, she also knew that they were stronger together.
Eventually, Jungkook pulled back slightly, his eyes meeting hers with a mixture of gratitude and exhaustion. “Thank you,” he said softly. “For everything.”
Y/N smiled, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “You don’t have to thank me, Kook. I’m here because I love you. And that’s never going to change.”
Jungkook’s gaze softened, and he leaned down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he whispered.
“You’ll never have to find out,” Y/N replied, her voice steady and full of love. “We’re in this together. Always.”
Jungkook nodded, his arms tightening around her once more as he pulled her into his chest. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, wrapped in each other’s warmth as the storm inside Jungkook’s heart slowly began to calm.
And for the first time in a long time, Y/N felt like they were going to be okay. They didn’t have all the answers, and the road ahead was still uncertain, but they had each other. And that, she realized, was all they needed.
In the days that followed, there was a noticeable shift between Y/N and Jungkook. It wasn’t as if all of their problems had disappeared, but there was a newfound understanding in the air, a quiet agreement to face things together, even if the way forward remained unclear. Jungkook wasn’t suddenly free of the burden he’d been carrying for so long, but the weight of it seemed just a bit lighter now.
Jungkook had started opening up more. He talked about his fears and doubts, his worries about the future, and the constant feeling that no matter what he did, it wouldn’t be enough. And Y/N listened—really listened—without judgment, offering comfort and reassurance whenever he needed it.
It was a fragile peace, but it was peace nonetheless.
One evening, Jungkook and Y/N were sitting together on the couch, a blanket draped over their laps as they watched the rain gently patter against the window. The TV was on, but neither of them was really paying attention. It was one of those quiet nights where the world outside seemed to fade away, leaving just the two of them in the cozy warmth of their apartment.
Jungkook was resting his head against Y/N’s shoulder, his hand absentmindedly playing with the hem of her sweater. His eyes were half-closed, and Y/N could feel the rise and fall of his chest, steady and calm. He looked peaceful, and for once, Y/N wasn’t worried about what thoughts were running through his mind.
“Do you ever wonder what life would be like if things were different?” Jungkook asked suddenly, his voice low and thoughtful.
Y/N glanced down at him, surprised by the question. “Different how?”
Jungkook shrugged, his fingers still lightly tracing patterns on her sleeve. “I don’t know. Like, if I wasn’t… me. If I wasn’t Jungkook from BTS. Just… a normal guy.”
Y/N tilted her head slightly, considering his words. She had never really thought about it, but she knew that the weight of his fame was something he struggled with more than he let on. Being Jungkook of BTS was all he had known for so long, and sometimes, she wondered if he even remembered who he was outside of that.
“Do you wish things were different?” she asked quietly.
Jungkook was silent for a moment, his eyes distant as he stared out at the rain. “Sometimes,” he admitted. “Sometimes I think about what it would be like to just… live a quiet life. No cameras, no expectations. Just… us.”
Y/N’s heart softened at his words. She could see the appeal of it—the idea of a simpler life, away from the constant scrutiny and pressure that came with being in the spotlight. But at the same time, she knew how much Jungkook loved what he did, how much he cared about his music and his fans.
“I think… no matter what life you lived, you’d still be amazing,” Y/N said softly. “Because it’s not the fame that makes you special, Kook. It’s you.”
Jungkook looked up at her, his eyes searching hers for a long moment before a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “You always know what to say,” he murmured.
Y/N smiled back, brushing a strand of hair away from his face. “I just know you.”
Jungkook’s hand found hers under the blanket, his fingers intertwining with hers as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you,” he whispered, his voice full of emotion.
Y/N leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his temple. “You don’t have to do anything to deserve love, Jungkook. You just have to let yourself be loved.”
Jungkook closed his eyes, leaning into her touch as if her presence alone could chase away the darkness that still lingered in the corners of his mind. He didn’t say anything for a while, and Y/N didn’t push him. She knew how difficult it was for him to open up about his fears, how deeply rooted his insecurities were. But little by little, he was letting her in, and that was enough for now.
After a while, Jungkook shifted slightly, sitting up straighter as he looked at her with a more serious expression. “I’ve been thinking,” he began, his tone cautious. “About… taking a break.”
Y/N blinked in surprise, her heart skipping a beat. “A break?”
Jungkook nodded, his gaze flickering to the floor. “From everything. Work, music, the schedule… I don’t know how long, but I think I need to step away for a while. Just to breathe. To figure things out.”
Y/N could hear the hesitation in his voice, the uncertainty that came with the idea of stepping back from something he had dedicated his entire life to. But at the same time, she could see how much he needed it—how desperately he was craving a moment of stillness in a world that never seemed to slow down.
“I think that’s a good idea,” Y/N said gently, reaching out to take his hand. “If that’s what you need, then you should do it.”
Jungkook looked up at her, his eyes filled with a mixture of relief and fear. “What if… what if I lose everything? What if I take this break, and when I come back, it’s all gone?”
Y/N squeezed his hand, her heart aching at the vulnerability in his voice. “You won’t lose everything,” she assured him. “Your fans love you, Kook. They’ll wait for you. And the people who care about you—your friends, your family, me—we’ll always be here. You’re not going to lose us.”
Jungkook’s shoulders relaxed slightly, though the worry didn’t completely leave his eyes. “I just don’t want to let anyone down.”
“You won’t,” Y/N said firmly. “Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you’re letting anyone down. It just means you’re putting yourself first for once. And you deserve that.”
Jungkook nodded slowly, as if he was trying to let her words sink in. He leaned back against the couch, his head resting against the cushions as he let out a long breath.
“I think I’m going to talk to the company about it,” he said after a moment. “I don’t know if they’ll go for it, but… I have to try.”
Y/N smiled softly, feeling a sense of pride swell in her chest. It wasn’t easy for Jungkook to admit when he needed help, let alone ask for a break from something as monumental as his career. But the fact that he was willing to take that step—to prioritize his mental health—meant more than anything.
“I’m proud of you,” she whispered, leaning over to kiss his cheek.
Jungkook turned his head slightly, his eyes meeting hers with a soft, grateful smile. “I couldn’t do any of this without you.”
“You don’t have to,” Y/N replied, her voice filled with love. “I’m with you, every step of the way.”
As the rain continued to fall outside, Y/N and Jungkook sat together in the warmth of their home, the weight of the world feeling just a little bit lighter in that moment. They didn’t know what the future held, but for now, they had each other. And that was enough.
Part 1
Part 2
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muniimyg · 1 month ago
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BAD HABIT // JJK
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06 | big dipper // series m.list
note: hihi ,, thank u for waiting !! this ch is def worth it tbh </3 no warnings ,, just like ... oc goes off on jungkook ,, jungkook gets blindfolded ,, more context on their auras ??? yeah ... tension too ! pls do not be shy and send in ur thoughts !!! i would love to know how u're liking the fic so far as it's my first fantasy au !!!!! (clearly still very nervy lmfao) mwah ,, enj !
//
the past few days have been anything but easy for jungkook.
not that he deserves easy—he knows he doesn’t. if anything, this is exactly what he should’ve expected. what does surprise him, though, is just how well you execute the petty treatment. how effortlessly you lock him out. how, no matter how many times he shuts his eyes, focuses, and tries to slip into your thoughts—he can’t.
it’s like the connection doesn’t exist.
which makes no sense.
because it does.
the string between you is golden and bright, undeniable to everyone who has ever seen it. and yet, there’s this… knot. this missing piece. it’s so fucking strange. he felt you before—felt the way your heart would race, the heat that would bloom across your skin. he knew when you were sick, when you were anxious. when the bond first tied, his own pulse had stumbled just trying to match yours. he cared so much when it happened...
but now?
now, it’s empty.
like someone cut the string without actually severing it.
he first noticed it that night in the garden.
you had only been soulmates for a few hours, and still, he felt something. at first, he thought maybe he was imagining it. overhyping the entire invisible string phenomenon. but then, the symptoms started stacking—waves of nausea when you were overwhelmed, your voice in his head when you caught his stray thoughts in class.
you’re in his head.
but he’s not in yours.
and if he’s not in your head, then what about your heart?
after that night, jungkook had gone to bed feeling like absolute shit. you told him he made you feel better—but he couldn’t feel it. couldn’t be sure. how could he trust words alone when everything inside you was a blank slate to him?
it freaked him out.
it got to him.
he spent the night tossing and turning, unable to catch even fifteen minutes of real sleep. and then, the next morning, when you walked in well-rested and seemingly fine—it hit him like a freight train.
it’s him.
he’s the problem.
and as fucked up, childish, and selfish as it is—that’s why he called you boring.
because you are.
because you’re blank.
because he, the so-called master of manipulation, can’t get inside your head.
but he sure as hell can get under your skin.
"so everyone, partner up—and obviously, soulmates go with soulmates," namjoon announces, finishing his rundown of the sparring activity.
you barely register the rest.
instead, you watch the class shuffle into place. soulmates move toward each other. friends pair up. the guys—still without soulmates—team up amongst themselves.
and jungkook?
jungkook leans against a tree, one foot propped lazily against the bark, arms folded over his chest. his expression is unreadable, but the tilt of his head, the barely-there smirk, sends heat curling up your spine. he plays with his lighter.
you exhale sharply and motion for him to come over.
he stays put, smirk growing.
then, he mouths, "don’t wanna."
your jaw clenches. you point at him, then to the ground in front of you.
"come here. now."
jungkook blinks, feigning innocence.
you cross your arms.
you wait—a second, a minute, a moment too long.
then, just as you start to turn away, he appears right in front of you.
"you're impatient today," he remarks, voice smooth, teasing. "is that how fast you need me? i can teleport wherever you want me to go. tell me to go away, i'll do it."
you sigh, pressing your fingers to your temple. before you can retort, he lifts his hands, and with the subtlest flex of his fingers, two sparring sticks float from the pile and dart into his grasp. he catches them effortlessly and offers you one, grinning.
across the field, namjoon groans.
"jungkook, did you really need to use your aura for that? just walk like a normal person."
jungkook huffs.
"wow. it’s like everyone hates me today."
"maybe we do," you mutter, snatching the stick from his hand.
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this was foreseeable.
you don’t need jin’s aura to know how this is going to go. the class knows, too. there’s a shift in energy, hushed murmurs, amused glances exchanged.
from where he leans against a tree, jin exhales a chuckle. “this should be interesting.”
and it is.
because while everyone else has started, you haven’t moved past the first three strikes.
not because you aren’t trying.
but because jungkook isn’t.
you lunge forward, aiming a strike at his chest. he doesn’t even flinch. his own stick twirls idly in his fingers, his gaze flicking toward the treetops like he’s more interested in cloud formations than the fight.
he dodges every attack without breaking a sweat. side-steps. pivots. barely moves.
and worse—he looks bored.
your foot pivots. another strike slices through the air. jungkook steps back just enough for it to skim past his sleeve.
“getting closer,” he muses. “try again.”
irritation burns at your spine. you exhale sharply, feint left, strike right. this time, you land it. the stick grazes his arm—not enough to bruise, but enough to count.
jungkook stumbles back dramatically, hissing through his teeth as if you’d run him through with a blade.
"shit—"
the class falls silent for a beat.
then, snickers ripple through the air.
"oh, come on," you deadpan.
jungkook blinks at you, playing it up even more. "that was—you stabbed me."
taehyung mutters something under his breath. jin actually laughs. namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose.
jungkook sighs, twirling his stick again. then, in a movement so smooth it’s almost insulting, he flicks yours aside with a gentle tap.
wood clashes.
you stumble back.
cheers erupt from the watching trainees. but you just glare at him, chest heaving.
"again."
you grip your stick tighter, eyes narrowing. across from you, jungkook still looks at ease. hands loose. weight shifted just enough to be casual. like he’s humoring you.
the heat in your chest flares.
“jungkook, are you even trying?”
he shrugs, nonchalant.
“dunno. are you?”
jimin chokes on a laugh. "god, jungkook’s asking for it."
your jaw locks.
the room feels warmer. everyone's watching. you’ve never cared about proving yourself before—but this feels different.
nam joon's voice cuts in, sharp. "jungkook, get it together. look at ___! she’s clearly upset.”
jungkook’s eyes flicker toward namjoon. then back to you.
and something changes... his teasing drops. his fingers tighten around his stick.
“you want me to try?”
you swallow, nodding once.
he shifts, expression unreadable. “whatever you want, p.”
then, he moves.
the first exchange is fast. too fast. you counter, but his strikes come harder, sharper. for the first time, he’s fighting back.
and you’re losing.
badly.
his strikes come faster, sharper. his movements are precise. he isn’t holding back anymore, and suddenly, you’re struggling to keep up. the wooden sticks crack against each other, loud against the backdrop of rustling trees and hushed whispers.
then, in a split second, he spins.
your stick is wrenched from your hands. before you can react, jungkook grips it, tugging it toward him—until you’re standing nearly chest to chest.
then—
he taps himself out.
a grin spreads across his face. the trainees erupt into giggles. your shoulders rise and fall as you catch your breath.
jungkook extends a hand.
"good game."
it wasn’t.
it wasn’t fair.
it wasn't good.
it was just so him.
instead of shaking his hand, you shove your sparring stick against his chest and avoid his eyes.
"excuse me," you mutter before turning away from the group and heading towards the garden.
jungkook watches you leave.
he doesn’t say anything. he doesn’t move. but, after a few beats, jungkook follows.
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you don’t acknowledge him, but you know he’s there.
you can feel it.
the ground hums beneath your feet, a faint tremor shifting the soil like the earth itself is attuned to him. the air turns crisp, infused with something familiar—fresh rain on warm stone, something sharp at the edges, something distinctly him. being his soulmate changes everything.
good and bad.
so you make him work for it.
you take the long way to the garden, slipping between hedges, ducking beneath ivy, fingers grazing the thick vines trailing along the palace walls. the scent of jasmine clings to your skin as you move, quiet and deliberate. you don’t look back.
but he follows.
always.
by the time you reach the stone bench beneath the willow, the late afternoon sun drapes golden shadows over the grass. the leaves rustle overhead, and the distant chime of a wind bell carries through the stillness.
he doesn’t speak.
you wait.
finally, after what feels like forever, jungkook exhales.
“you didn’t come last night.”
the words break through the quiet, heavy and deliberate.
“hmm?” you hum, dragging the sound out just enough to make him second-guess himself.
his jaw ticks. “i felt sick.”
the way he says it—careful, measured—betrays him.
a test.
a trap.
you don’t spring it... not yet.
instead, you lift your gaze, watching him with something unreadable.
“exactly how sick were you?”
his expression flickers—just for a second—but it’s enough. the shift. the realization that you know he’s lying. that you didn’t come because you didn’t want to. that he had waited for you, and you had chosen to ignore it.
he doesn’t like that. not one bit.
for the first time since class, he looks at you. really looks at you. and for the first time, you let him.
the garden is quiet this time of day. that’s why you go. but now, the quiet stretches thin between you, taut as a thread about to snap. the leaves sway overhead. jungkook shifts his weight.
then, without thinking, you step forward.
he doesn’t move. just watches.
you lift a hand, resting the back of it against his forehead.
warm. not feverish, but—warm.
jungkook stills.
for a split second, he stops breathing. the world falls away, distant and unimportant, because all he can focus on is your touch. the way your fingers linger before you pull away.
he reacts before he can think.
his hand catches yours, fingers wrapping around your wrist—not tight, but firm. firm enough to stop you.
you blink.
he tugs you closer.
your other hand lands against his chest, steadying yourself against the solid weight of him.
he is warm here, too. warmer than he should be. his heartbeat is steady, but there’s something frantic beneath the surface, a tension coiled too tight.
jungkook doesn’t know what to do with this. doesn’t know what to do with the warmth spreading through him like something foreign. something dangerous.
his voice is quiet when he speaks. almost unsteady.
“what are you doing to me?”
your lips part slightly, breath catching—
then, you push away.
he lets go immediately, like your touch burns.
your expression smooths out, unreadable. you take a step back.
“nothing,” you say. “that’s the thing.”
jungkook exhales sharply, head tilting. “what’s that supposed to mean?”
you hold his gaze. then, deliberately, you let your aura slip. let it expand—thick, unmistakable.
resistance.
jungkook’s breath catches.
“i can’t read you,” he says eventually, voice low, like he hates admitting it. “i... i could for a day or two... but it doesn’t make sense. this does't make sense. you knew i wasn’t sick last night?”
you nod.
“... you can feel—”
“yeah,” you breathe. “i can feel your symptoms. i can feel when your body reacts to me. i can hear your thoughts when you let me—when you want me to. i feel the bond."
his fingers twitch at his sides. his brows pinch slightly, like this realization is foreign. you inhale, steady. then exhale, letting down your guard just enough for him to feel it.
your aura glows—not to the eye, but in presence.
jungkook stiffens.
“resistance,” he pieces together. “that’s… that’s why i can’t—”
“i had my guard down when we met. i was giving you a chance, and you…” your voice softens, eyes searching his. “you can’t manipulate me. i refuse it.”
his tongue presses against the inside of his cheek. then, he scoffs, shaking his head.
“who said i had plans to manipulate you?”
“isn’t that your aura?”
“and if it is?” he steps closer, chin tilting. “come on, p. you think you have me all figured out?”
your lips curl into a small smile. not sweet. not cruel. something in between.
“yeah, i do,” you say. “the truth is, i’m not upset that you find me boring.”
jungkook waits.
“i’m upset that you’re boring.”
his brows furrow slightly. “what does that mean?”
you step back, turning toward the garden bench as you speak over your shoulder.
“you think i’m just a princess? fine. to each their own. you think you’re too good for me—”
“i never said that—”
“what?” your voice sharpens. “you think you’re not good enough, then? see, i’m confused—frustrated, actually. i understand i’m the newbie to the divinity—to this… to you,” you pause, eyes finding his. “but why should i stand around and let myself be collateral damage to your low self-esteem and ego?”
his expression hardens. offense first, then defense.
“who the fuck said shit about me having low self-esteem—”
“no one,” you almost laugh. “but that’s it, isn’t it? your ego can't swallow the fact that you can't read me. that you can't manipulate your place in my life... that there's a possibility that you can and will fail and have to depend on trust and love to be enough for people like me to stay.”
jungkook clenches his jaw.
"i don't know what the fuck you're talking about," jungkook spits. "do you think you're better than us because you're the divine?"
"no," you answer steadily. "i think i know more because i've been away from the divine. i have perspective. i know what's real—what's out there."
"i know what's out there too—"
"you didn't live in it," you breathe. "jungkook, people in the real world have to do things they don't want to do. no manipulation in time, no manipulation in feelings or things—they face life... you sleep during class. you don’t care when we spar. you don’t care about me—”
“___, you can’t possibly be calling me out and using these as your fucking excuses—”
“i just want you to know it’s okay,” you say it softer this time, like you mean it. “has anyone accepted you... just the way you are? if not, let me be the first one to do so. jungkook, do what you want. be who you are. figure things out or give up—it doesn’t matter. i can live like this, okay? we don’t have to be obsessed with each other. we can fight the bond if that’s what you really want—”
jungkook’s mind spins.
you’re saying so much shit that doesn’t make sense to him. this is escalating too fast. he wasn’t prepared for this. he didn’t know the weight of his words until now.
“it’s not what i want,” he spits out. “___, can you please slow down—”
you shake your head.
“i just want you to know this: you’re wrong if you think i’m the type to tend to someone’s inability to see their goodness. their worth… their purpose. i’m a big believer in accepting what you think you deserve. if you can’t accept me, that’s fine. maybe i’m not what you deserve. but that’s not on me, jungkook. you limit yourself. you don’t believe in fate. you don’t want this—”
“do you?” he croaks out. “do you want this?”
for a moment, you’re stunned.
regardless of all the shit he’s put you through in the past two weeks, you don’t have it in yourself to lie.
“i want more,” you say finally. “not this.”
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more.
jungkook didn't know what that meant exactly... but this was a start. he isn't an apologetic type, so this is his... version of it.
trying.
again.
he stands in front of you, rolling his wrists, exhaling slow. his eyes flicker over your stance—checking, assessing, adjusting before he even moves.
“keep your weight forward,” jungkook instructs, tilting his chin toward your feet. “you hesitate too much.”
you nod, shifting slightly. he steps in, light on his feet, and you match him, falling into motion as he throws a testing jab. you dodge. pivot. counter. he blocks. you move again.
but it’s wrong.
every strike, every dodge, every block feels a second off. like walking out of rhythm with someone—close but not quite. you follow his cues, but there’s no flow, no instinct, just effort.
jungkook exhales sharply.
“again.”
he moves quicker this time, forcing you to react faster, but it only makes the disconnect more obvious. he shifts left when you expect right. your counters don’t land where they should. his frustration grows, simmering beneath his skin, evident in the slight drag of his feet, the way his breath turns shallow. he shakes his head, readjusting.
you know that feeling—the itch of something not working, of knowing it should but not being able to make it.
you step back, panting, watching the tension tighten in his shoulders.
“can we try something?” you ask, voice softer now.
jungkook pauses. 
he blinks at you, expression unreadable, before tilting his head slightly.
“try what?”
you don’t wait for his response.
“wait here,” you tell him before you turn on your heel, feet light against the stone path as you take off in a quiet sprint. the air is thick with the lingering tension of missed steps, of a rhythm neither of you could quite grasp, but you know—you know—it isn’t just about movement.
jungkook doesn’t call after you. 
he stays where he is, watching as you disappear.
when you return, there’s gold handkerchief is wrapped around your fingers. the fabric glows in the dim light, soft between your hands as you come to a stop in front of him, close enough that you see the slight furrow of his brow.
his gaze flickers to yours, unreadable.
“trust me?” you ask, already reaching up.
jungkook exhales. then, slowly, he nods.
you tiptoe, wrapping the cloth over his eyes, knotting it at the back of his head. his shoulders stay squared, but you feel the way his breath slows, the way he stills beneath your touch. his lashes flutter against the fabric before he adjusts his stance again, waiting.
this time, when you move, he doesn’t see you—he feels you.
“focus on me,” you tell him. 
“h-how—”
“i’ll focus on you too. maybe if we do this properly, our auras will meet. i can put my guard up any time, but putting it down is something entirely different. it’s beyond my control to put it down. it’s a reaction to you—your vulnerability, not mine.”
jungkook swallows, letting your words sink in. 
"how do you know this shit?" he attempts to hide his suspicion.
you laugh. "have you forgotten who my grandparents are? just because i was raised outside this palace doesn't mean i wasn't educated and trained for the divinity."
"you are the divinity."
"that i am, little prince."
you don't know it, but he rolls his eyes.
"and you're a princess."
"that i am not."
he chuckles. so do you. the moment is light.
then, he takes a deep breath and envisions you.
in his head, it’s hazy. there’s only so much of you that he memorized in a short period of time—but he hopes it’s enough. he recalls the way you turn your head and how pretty your neck is. how long your hair is and how your eyes smile before your lips curve into one.
before you know it, the air shifts and he strikes. there’s a slight tremor in your breath when you hesitate—a quiet hitch when he moves too close.
his body reacts without thinking, syncing to yours in a way sight never allowed. he follows the push and pull, the rise and fall of your heartbeat, matching it, learning it. and for the first time, there’s no disconnect—no distance or this… force that pushes him away. 
no struggle.
just instinct.
just you.
and then, in a way he can’t explain, he knows where you’ll be before you even move. 
he anticipates every pivot, every feint, as if something unseen is guiding him—no, pulling him. there’s a thread between you now, stretched taut between his ribs and yours, humming with energy. it tightens when you step back, loosens when you exhale. he feels it with every shift, with every breath you take.
it’s disorienting at first, the pull, the quiet certainty of it. but it’s right. more right than anything has felt in a long, long time.
his heart pounds, syncing to yours. for the first time, jungkook doesn’t fight it.
instead, he lets it fall.
in so many fucking ways, he lets himself fall.
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you bend over and tug the handkerchief off of him. 
then, you extend a hand.
jungkook squints, adjusting to the night. then, he stares at it for a beat too long, his pride hanging in the space between you. you didn’t exactly win… but you didn’t lose either. regardless, he feels defeated. 
the garden is quiet except for the sound of both your breaths, still uneven, still trying to settle. the tie had been hard-earned—one final strike knocking him down, leaving him on his back, staring at the night sky like it held the answers he didn’t.
you wiggle your fingers. “good game?”
his lips press into a line before he exhales, reaching up. his palm slides against yours, rough and warm, and you brace yourself as he uses the momentum to pull himself to his feet.
too strong.
the force drags you forward, nearly colliding into his chest.
you stumble, hands reaching for balance, and jungkook catches you before you can fall completely. one hand wraps around your waist, the other grasping your arm, steadying you like it’s second nature. his fingers press firm into your skin, and for a moment, neither of you move.
your palm lands flat against his chest.
a sharp inhale. not yours.
his heartbeat hammers against your touch, wild and restless. the same way it felt when he was blindfolded—when he had to rely on instinct, when the rhythm of his breath synced with yours and something unseen pulled tight between you.
you lift your gaze.
jungkook is already looking.
your eyes meet and it’s like you’re the only thing he sees. you see it. you look into his eyes and freaking see what he sees. 
you. only you.
his lips suddenly part like he wants to say something, but he doesn’t. his eyes flicker, unreadable, caught between hesitation and something heavier. his grip on your waist doesn’t loosen. if anything, it lingers, fingertips pressing in like he’s mapping out the shape of you, committing it to memory.
"what are you thinking right now?" he asks rather shyly. “since i… i can’t read your mind.”
your voice is soft. it curls between you, laced with something you’re not sure you want to name.
jungkook swallows. his grip tightens—just slightly, just enough for you to feel it… seconds stretch.
then—before anything else, before you let yourself think too hard about it—you smile. you let out a small chuckle, tapping his chest with the back of your hand.
"figure it out, jungkook."
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the walk back is quiet, but the air hums with something… different. 
the weight of the sparring match lingers between you—his hands on your waist, your fingers on his chest, the breathless moment you shared before you pulled away. now, as you walk side by side beneath the moonlight, the space between you feels impossibly small, as if the night itself is pushing you closer.
your fingertips brush once. a fleeting touch, barely there. but it’s enough to send a pulse through the invisible string that binds you.
twice. his breath stutters. 
three times. 
fuck.
you hear it. 
not aloud, but in the space between your thoughts, in the echo of his heartbeat. it’s his voice though. you know it is… and it’s the sheer panic in his mind and the way his body that betrays him. you giggle before you can stop yourself, and jungkook tenses beside you, as if caught in something he wasn’t ready to admit. 
his jaw tightens. 
his ears burn red.
you reach your doorstep too soon. your heart is still racing, tangled up in him, in the weight of his presence. and before you can stop yourself, you blurt out, "i can send a guard to take you back to yours—"
jungkook scoffs, low and amused. “i can handle myself.”
you fumble for an excuse. 
“it’s just that… it’s dark.”
he glances up, a slow smirk pulling at his lips. the night sky is dark, but the stars shine almost as bright as you. it’s enough for him to know where he’s going.
“the stars are out.”
you follow his gaze. the sky is vast, endless, and speckled with constellations that stretch far beyond the palace walls. the kind of night that feels infinite.
“they are…” you exhale softly. “wow, they’re so bright here.”
jungkook tilts his head. “you do live in the highest point of the palace.”
you laugh, shaking your head.
“still. regardless of where i am, i can never spot the big dipper.”
he hums, tilting his chin toward the sky. “really? it’s over there.”
“where?” you ask, mimicking his gaze.
“made you look.”
you gasp, swatting his arm, and he grins—really grins, boyish and unguarded, like the version of him that slips through when he forgets to keep his walls up. it sends something warm curling in your chest.
you soften, stepping back toward your door. 
“goodnight, jungkook.”
he lingers, just for a moment. the moonlight catches in his eyes, in the way he watches you like he wants to say something but doesn’t. instead, he exhales, the corner of his lips quirking up.
“goodnight, princess.”
you slip inside, shutting the door behind you. the guards reposition themselves and ask jungkook if he’d like to be accompanied back. he shakes his head, declining the offer. then, he puzzles the guards for a moment. 
jungkook doesn’t leave immediately. 
he waits, glancing up at the stars once more. and then, with a quiet flick of his fingers, the sky shifts. the darkness of the night sky almost flickers. the clouds part ever so slightly, rearranging the constellations.
the big dipper, now perfectly clear. 
just for you.
394 notes · View notes
simp4eshal · 10 months ago
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main masterlist
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Masterlist
Criminal minds
daddy issues (aaron x reader)
mornin sweetheart (spencer x reader) smut !!
we fell in love in october (spencer x reader)
Yes ma'am (spencer x reader) suggestive !!
The boy is mine (spencer x reader masterlist)
Reassurance (spencer x reader) suggestive !!
As your husband, I declare you mine (spencer x reader) smut !!
Solace (spencer x reader)
If being lovable was a crime (spencer x reader) suggestive !!
BTS
Have you ever tried this one? (Taehyung x reader c jungkook) smut!!
Ryd (seokjin x reader) smut !!
ocean's laments (taehyung x oc/reader)
"she’s a maneater" masterlist suggestive !!
2022 masterlist
Death herself was a beauty part 2 suggestive !!
Death herself was a beauty
Others 
Aaron Taylor Johnson x reader - Your lips my lips, apocalypse
Count Vronsky x reader - Ballroom - Anna Karenina smut !!
Anakin Skywalker x reader- Silent treatment - Star Wars
Teacher x student imagine smut !!
OC x reader - Baby you're the meanest - (childish gambino inspired) smut !!
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kiss kiss xx
(the art is not mine)
255 notes · View notes
winterzsurprise · 6 months ago
Text
Change My Mind [5]
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Pairing: BTS x reader
SUMMARY: As a make-up artist, you were expected to glamorize your clients with brushes and products that cost a week-worth of food, not to befriend them outside of work, let alone have them save you from dates yet here you are five years later as one of their closest confidants.
Being a stylist of the world's biggest boyband is no easy feat, someone is doing flips, someone can't stay still and one's asleep but its fine, you can work around their chaos but then one day, you find out they're all your soulmates, a whole different can of chaos you don't think you can handle.
Tags: Soulmates AU, Friends to Lovers, Eventual Smut, Not Beta Read, Slow Build, Polyamory, Attempts at Humor
Words: 9.4k
Edit (02-04-25): nothing important was changed, just made it more readable(?). Didn't realise how much I yapped nonsense here oml
thank you all for your comments and likes, it keeps me going :DD
<<<Prev || MASTERLIST || Next>>>
_____
Namjoon was a man of science.
He believes in everything that can be explained in a lengthy and intricately detailed book filled with an even more difficult terminologies and worded examinations backed up by photographic evidence to prove it. 
To him, if he didn't see it happen before his very eyes, it was fiction, a lie.
It's how it should be.
As a child, he frowned upon the heretics and the desperate, thanking a nonexistent god for the fruit of their hard work. He couldn’t fathom how they could weep so genuinely as they prayed on their knees for blessings that never come, and if gods were real, he could never understand how devoted they are for someone who turned a blind eye to the challenges they faced.
He never understood how the lonely could resort to immorality in their desperation for a soulmate, couldn't fathom how easily they shed their humanity for a morsel, a hint of that sense of belonging and importance being a tethered gave.
It was dumb.
Life doesn't revolve around soulmates, they should've tried other options instead of blaming the theoretical nirvana for their own misfortune.
Despite being a child born from two mates, he never believed in the concepts of soulmates, thinking it childish as it was an idea the lonely and the hopeless hung onto to feel better for themselves. He believed that his parents would have met either way without their soulmarks, would've fallen in love the same and bring him to life. 
Because they were meant to be, even without the marks to prove it.
Sure he wished to eventually settle down with someone who also loved him as his mother does with his father but he doesn't believe in the spiritual connection.
But science has nothing on the sensation he was feeling right now.
The moment the clock struck midnight, a heartbeat suddenly began to drum at the back of his head, but it was faint and muffled as if it was distant and came through multiple walls but he could hear its panicked pace echoing in his skull. In the silence you and Jungkook’s departure has left, Namjoon began to feel dread bubbling inside him. A tension slowly building up with the beat of the racing heart at the back of his head.
It felt like those slowly crescending notes of a horror movie's background music as the killer stalks nearer. There's a tension thickening but he's the only one who could feel it, could sense it coming.
It's making him nervous beyond belief how he doesn't know what is afoot.
A gasp tore through his thought process and he looked up to see his Yoongi hyung eyeing something invisible in his right hand, disbelief apparent in his wide eyes as the others turned to him with concerned curiosity.
But Namjoon already knew what it was, at least felt like he knew what it is, although he himself is incredulous.
He's read up everything that he could about soulmates in his teenage years wanting to refute his parents' insistence on how they wouldn't have clicked as well as they are without the soulmark yet none of them could explain how he just knows the heartbeat at the back of his head belonged to you.
________
Fate truly has a funny way of revealing who your soulmate is.
It was said that the sensation when you first meet your soulmate should be a wave of cold relief flushing all the worries out of your system. Your mother and Jihae told you stories of the sudden sense of belonging, like finding the last piece of the puzzle you’ve walked your whole life without from a mere accidental brush of a hand with a stranger on the streets.
If it was in any other scenario, you would've agreed with them.
But as Jungkook raises both your hands to survey the skin for any mark, your world shrinks down like an air tight ziplock bag to only fit you and him. 
A low thrum resonated in the air, mellifluous and sweet, a direct contrast to the dull but racing heartbeat at the back of your head. Jolts of electricity vibrated under your skin starting from your joined hands and spreading across your muscles and lighting your nerve endings awake.
The walls around you closed in, not because it was Jungkook who you happened to be fated to. But because there's a thin, red thread tied around your pinkie.
A red string of fate.
And it's not tethered to Jungkook.
It goes behind you and you dread to know who it leads to.
There's a curious tug from down the line, the thread turning tangible at every pull and the urge to run away, to hide in the comforts of your home grew tenfold. Because you're sure the string leads to one of the boys.
People who became your closest companions after years of being their make-up artist. Three of which you've rejected and the remaining four you've remained friends with. 
Isn't this a bit too much of a joke?
How funny it must've been for the divinities to watch you reject the men eventually revealed to be your soulmate. They must've cackled, pointing fingers and all, as they watched you reject them. You wouldn’t put it behind them to connect the end of your string to someone you’ve also turned down once.
You watched Jungkook speedrun through the five stages of grief in a few seconds, face contorting every so often it made it hard to get a read on what he's feeling. He let out a shaky exhale as he came to, doe eyes meeting yours with an incredulous sheen. 
His continuous silence stuffed cottons into your throat, the conflicted expression he has settled on only furthering the panic in your chest. 
You retract your hand but he was faster, catching your wrist in a tighter grip. There's a question hanging from his lips but they cease to exist the moment you both see the mark on your finger.
In the space between your index and middle finger lies a black quarter note, inked into the skin of your middle. The tint is bold and black. 
Raising his own hand, your eyes landed on the same pattern etched on his on the opposite side. As if hypnotized, he intertwined his fingers and the same gentle thrum came back, along with a comforting warmth echoing from your soulmate mark and throughout your body, almost rendering you boneless from how intense and relieving it felt.
You weren't the only one affected by its calming properties. The frustration in Jungkook's from earlier now erased from his face, as if it was never there. Acceptance.
Just like that, the problem is solved; and that unsettles you.
“Noona… Wh-what is happening?”
His voice is so small, shaky and hopeful. Eyes growing larger as he surveys your soulmate marks in disbelief. He untangled your hand and pulled the soulmark closer to his eye. Curiously, Jungkook hesitantly taps the musical note and shivered with you when skin touched skin.
You both suck in a deep breath, freezing at the foreign sensation it brought you both before a smile that stretches high up to the heavens brightens his face.
Jungkook's eyes were glazed with unshed tears when you found them once more, breath shaky as he placed a kiss onto your knuckles. The sensation of his lips on your skin making goosebumps rise on your skin.
“Noona, we're soulmates.”
You didn't even hear the sound of footsteps running up the stairs nor Taehyung calling you both until he got close, hand landing on your shoulder and effectively snapping you out of your trance.
“Are you guys okay? Not too long ago you were at each other's throat and now—woah!”
A shrill of pleasure shocks your body, vision flashing white and you fall. 
If it wasn't for Jungkook, you would've collapsed boneless next to Taehyung who's gasping on the floor, hand clutching his heart as he heaved. Jungkook let you lean your body weight on him once you stood up again. Arms wrapping around your waist protectively as your brain catches up.
A sharp gasp from Jungkook kickstarts your already racing heart, panic flushing out whatever has happened earlier.
But that wasn't the thing that made your head pulse.
It was the shaky utterance of your name and looking up at Jungkook only to be distracted by the faint glow of blue in the shape of a hand on your shoulder. The spot where Taehyung had last touched you.
In the dimness of the hallway, Love Prints gleamed a soft shade of purple like a splatter of glow in the dark paint. Your head snapped back to Taehyung who had pushed himself to sit up, cradling his head while murmuring intelligible under his breath until he looked up and his jaw fell.
“I-Is that…?”
“Hyung, what is the meaning of this?”
Taehyung turned to the maknae, spluttering. “I-I don't even… Ho-how is this even possible?”
How is it possible to feel like the world has pulled a carpet from under you while also feeling like you're laying on cloud 9?
Three soulmates.
Two of them being people you once rejected, one of them unknown but the string suspiciously led downstairs where the rest of the boys are.
You feel like passing out just to avoid the talk it'll entail. Maybe you should run at the wall and hope you'll hit your head hard enough to guarantee amnesia.
“Noona, you're seeing this too right?” 
Taehyung is now standing in front of you, reaching up to trace the already fading handprint and a new splatter of purple followed his finger. He grinned, eyes misty and overflowing with joy as he giggled, the sound almost reminiscent of a delighted child.
Jungkook’s arm tightened around you.
“Wh-why— Is that love prints? Hyung?” Jungkook’s voice shakes from the weight of the revelation hanging above his head. “Are we sharing noona?”
“GUYS! YOONGI HYUNG GOT A SOULMATE!”
Holy shit.
Unlike you who's despairing to see the man on the other side of the thread, Taehyung was beyond ecstatic.
“No fucking way. I gotta see this.”
Taehyung dragged you to the stairs when your legs refused to move, uprooting you from where you leaned onto Jungkook's side. Your stomach churned at how lighter the strings felt in your pinkie and a tad tighter as the distance shortened.
There's a sudden heartbeat racing in your ears but it sounds far away and it doesn't sync with the pulse you feel in your temples. You couldn't dwell on it for long before you're faced with the man at the other end of the red string.
___________
They said it all started with their eldest but unbeknownst to them, he was the first to notice how your eyes would light up like the stars in the night sky, how your laugh sounded like wedding bell rings than the dying pig you claimed it to sound.
Seokjin might be their eldest and Taehyung might’ve fallen deepest but he was the beginning of it all.
In his twenty five years of existence on this damned planet, Min Yoongi has never asked for much, content with whatever life throws at him.
Even with his harsh upbringing, he never kept what he has from others, especially since he met his brothers. He'd willingly ripped off the cloth from his back to keep them warm and plugged their ears with both his hands so they couldn’t hear the hateful words thrown at them at debut, even if it cost of being exposed to them instead. But he couldn't care less, Yoongi loves them with all his heart.
There's nothing in the world that could ever stop him from bending over backwards just so the others could live peacefully.
When his pockets grew heavier with age, this trait only bloomed further into millions donated anonymously to hospitals and charities he could stumble upon. 
To everyone, especially his brothers, he’s a generous man.
Until you strode into his life and haunted him in his waking days with the ghost of your touch caressing his face.
Min Yoongi never wants yet he yearned, he craved to feel the softness of your skin under his fingertips, to taste your lips and discover if you tasted as sweet as you smell, to run his hand through your hair as to know if it's as soft as it looked under the soft glow of the room. 
And for once in his life, he wanted to be selfish.
Being with you makes him want to believe, want to hope that something nonsensical as the concept of soulmates is true.
Originally, Min Yoongi wasn’t a believer of such optimism because his mother wasn’t. 
She passed down her resentment for the fates for turning a blind eye on her onto her next of kin. She was bitter from being untethered and barred her children from subjecting themselves to whimsical thoughts of fates and destinies.
Never had he entertained the ideas of soulmates until you came and bursted through the iron doors of his heart. For the first time in his life, he began to want, to wish that he gets tethered to you.
You who shined even without the help of others, who stood out like the beacon of light in the shady pits of this world. He couldn’t dare face you as someone whose future is as dim as the blasted world he cursed out. With nothing to offer, he strived to be the best, to crawl to the top whatever it takes.
He couldn't show you a pathetic side of him, he knew he couldn't step forward with a bleak future to offer. Yoongi wouldn't be able to bear it if you were to grow miserable beside him.
Because for you, he'd stop at nothing to hand everything you'd ever lay your eyes on wrapped in a pretty bow of the most expensive quality and tucked neatly behind soft colored gift wrappers.
So for years, Min Yoongi hid.
What else could he do when most of his brothers also vied for your attention? He loved you all with all his heart, couldn't bear the thought of ever hurting any of you for his selfish desires. So he did what he thought was best, step back and watch from the sidelines.
And he was fine with that.
He thinks himself a patient man. A trait forged by years of encountering nagging customers and demanding adults from working as a delivery boy. Yet all it took was a couple dozen bottles of Soju and a warm atmosphere to accidentally confess his feelings for you. Ashamed and already knowing what his hyung has received as an answer, he puts on a mask the next day and acts.
He did it so well you were convinced he wasn't kidding by forgetting last night's mistakes and swallowing up the disappointment when you didn’t bother asking him again and acted like nothing ever happened.
But it's okay, Min Yoongi is a patient man, he can wait.
So when you appeared before him, a red string tied prettily around your pinkie with the thread leading back to his own, he was beyond euphoric. He felt like a champion, of what? He didn’t care much to think.
He felt like he could climb the highest summit in record speed with no equipment and only the warmth of the new bond to keep him alive.
________
The moment you all appeared in the living room with your shoulder and linked hands glowing purple, all hell broke loose. You didn't even get to look at Yoongi’s reaction when everyone was exploding around you, running to look at the evidence of your connection to Taehyung up close.
“Oh shit…”
“What the fuck?”
“You guys are connected?!”
Taehyung hovered protectively behind you with a smile so bright it can deter the night, hands planted on your shoulders and pushing his hyungs a few steps away to keep them from overwhelming you.
Everyone surrounding you had varying reactions even then, Namjoon kept his distance but hovered over behind his brothers with his eyebrows furrowed, staring with his calculating gaze and the heartbeat echoing at the back of your head grow rampant. 
You didn’t dare look at Seokjin, whose gaze weighed heavily with hurt and disappointment. You try not to flinch when you hear him run upstairs, and the door of his room slams shut.
He who had confessed first, had continued to love you even when you had brushed off his affections, somehow didn’t make the cut. You didn’t even want to know what you’d do if you were him.
A finger traces the fading prints of Taehyung’s touch on your shoulder and you immediately crumple to the floor with a gasp as an intense wave of euphoria runs through your veins. You could barely make out the feeling of someone’s arms holding you up and someone pushing your head to their chest.
The bleary sight of what looked like Yoongi pushed through the crowd and reached up to cup your face, instantly, the warmth of his touch grounds you. Then you were being carried to sit on the sofa with everyone spaced around you, except for Jimin who’s bonelessly spread on the opposite side of you.
How funny was it for the universe to link you to the same men you've rejected for the fear of ruining the amazing brotherhood they've built from years of hard work and tears?
As the sensation from Taehyung and Jungkook’s touch subsides, dread reintroduces itself and slowly crawls up your skin. Your headache has long evolved into having two throbbing pulses at the back of your head. From the revelation to the onslaught of feelings attacking and fighting off your initial panic, your body struggled to keep up with the conflicting emotions.
You wanted to run, to hide from their gaze, to put an end to the mess of emotions caused by the forced relief from their touches.
Jimin is now staring at you from across the lounge, his beautiful face contorted into concern, his soft eyes seeing past the fog in yours. They stared at you as if trying to decipher something, as if he could somehow feel how overwhelmed you are.
He opened his mouth to say something when a voice broke through the chatter.
“Are you okay, noona?”
Namjoon’s hands were steadying when he held your shoulders, like water in a desert, like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. With their leader stepping in, all words fell into a hush and for the first time since the chaos, it was silent; save for the slowing rhythms of two heartbeats thudding in your head.
If Taehyung and Jungkook's touch felt like a jolt of energy and Jimin was rejuvenating and healing, Namjoon had the ability to kill the noise in your mind with eye contact alone.
Peering deeper into his gaze, your breath stutters and you move to flinch away in fear of setting off the new bond but instead find yourself slowly coming into a realization when nothing had happened in the short time Namjoon had touched you. The second heartbeat at the back of your mind grows louder, completely setting itself apart from what is truly yours. 
You’re sharing heartbeats with Namjoon.
A fifth soulmate.
What the fuck.
“Hyung, are you sober enough to drive?” Namjoon looks up to stare at someone behind you.
“A-are you sure I should be driving her home? I could set something off from an accidental brush of a hand.”
“She’s overstimulated from being surrounded by us, having someone outside the links would help.”
You sensed Hoseok’s apprehension in his silence. Then, he sighed.
“Alright. Let’s go, noona.”
It felt burdensome to leave such a life-altering problem for them to handle while you cower in your home, trying to hide from the reality where you might be linked to all seven of them. 
The reassuring squeeze on your shoulders brought you back from the guilty trans you’ve submerged into and was faced with Namjoon's kind eyes and smile.
“Go home noona, we'll handle it from here.”
“You sure?”
He nods. “I know this is overwhelming so I want you to go rest and let me do the planning and talking, alright?”
When you didn’t respond, Namjoon wrapped his arms around you. There’s hesitance in how his movement stuttered, could hear him ponder as he pulled you flush to his chest, afraid of affecting you like the maknaes had but when his touch didn’t evoke the staggering flood of euphoria, he grew more sure of his movements.
With a kiss on your head, he unwraps himself from you and gently guides you back to Hoseok who’s now standing outside the open door of their dorm. His eyes averted and steely.
Walking to the car was a silent affair and you don’t know if you rather have Hoseok being quiet or not.
It was bearable when he turned on the radio and a song that has no connection to the boys plays, not that it stopped the thoughts from spawning in from the crevices of your mind.
When you had asked the fates for a soulmate, had you sounded so desperate that they'd given you five?
You’ve heard of three souls being connected. Hell, Yeonjun is a part of a five-way soulmate link; Interlinked, is what they’re called. Everyone in the group has their own unique mark with each member which usually led to constant overstimulation in the beginning, the company had put them on medications until their bond settled a year later.
Even today, there are times where they still get affected by their bonds, although not as often as it used to. It was a wonder how there haven't been investigations put on BigHit with how often the five had to be sent to the hospital for soulbond hyperactivity at least once a week for a whole year.
But a nexus between six people, five connected to one. That is unheard of, the rarest even.
Five soulmates yet none of those were Seokjin. Someone who had stuck with you since the first day, the first to confess, and the one who remained loyal, wasn’t tethered to you. 
You turned to Hoseok who had remained silent the whole ride, stomach churning as a revelation hangs above your head.
“Hoba?’
“Yes, noona?” 
He sounded guarded, his face ironed into a neutral, more serious expression as he slowed as the traffic light went red.
“What’s gonna happen now?”
He bit his lower lip as he pondered, thumbs tapping incessantly on the wheel before he spoke.
“We're gonna have to update your statuses in the fated registry, but I doubt the company will make it public just yet. There's nothing also in our contract that prohibits us from pursuing a relationship with our soulmates if we ever come across them so you're good on that front.”
You notice how he excluded himself from the Nexus bond and you feel a pinch on your heart at how formal he has become, as if he’s already put up a wall between you both.
“We'll probably have a long talk about it once I get back but I doubt they'd wait for me since it doesn’t really concern me anyways. You’re probably wouldn't be allowed to touch Jimin and Taehyung anymore when you're working because your soulmarks are very obvious and I know you don't want—”
“Y-You don't think you're also…”
Silence followed as he adjusted himself in his seat as the car began to move again, his hands drumming on the wheel halts as the facade he's wearing shattered for a moment and his eyes grew foggy, clouded by a deep shade of blue.
Under the passing warm lights of the streetlights overhead, Hoseok has never looked more devastated to you than he does now.
You had never noticed it, he has always been open with his affections to his friends so you never thought of it as anything but his usual touchiness. He shows his care for you in the same way he does with his brothers, so paid it no need and brushed it off.
How could Soobin notice it? What had he seen that you missed?
“If I was, I would've felt something or seen that something but here we are.” He forces out a laugh before glancing at you and offering a hand. You notice how his smile doesn’t seem to reach his eyes. “We're still the bestest of friends even without the mark, right?”
Hesitantly, you took it.
The moment your fingers wrapped around his Hoseok immediately pulls his hand back in favor of holding the brake between you both.
You try to not let his aversion to touch affect you. New soulbonds are fickle, there’s been multiple reports where people are rushed into ER after brushing their hands against strangers and had been in excruciating pain from soulbond strain.
Their new bodies had thought they were denying destiny and had punished them.
But for him to completely retreat to himself, visibly putting up a tall wall between you both is a different kind of pain. For Hoseok, someone who has never had to restrain himself from holding your hands or hugging you whenever he's excited, to step back hurts you more than you thought it would.
“Noona, we’re here.”
As you left the car, you pondered on what to say to him. What could you even tell him?
Do you even say you're sorry he's not one of your soulmates or would that sound mocking?
Should you say that you had wished once that he became tethered to you or would that be rubbing salt on the wound?
But before you could even turn around and say your goodbyes, the moment the door was closed, Hoseok drove off. 
__________
Waking up was dreadful.
It felt more exhausting than it had yesterday when you were going to your third date with Guwon knowing he wanted to propose to you. Sleeping was difficult, you could feel Yoongi touch the string from miles away, eyes flying open whenever you felt the thread become tangible and gently glow in the darkness of your room.
It wasn't his soul-link alone that disturbed you, Namjoon’s heartbeat constantly changed rhythm although it was faint enough to blend into the background with the rumble of the air conditioner. From the nervous gallops to the calmer but deeper thuds whenever he seems to drown himself in his own thoughts.
You had research about your soul links when you grew restless in your bed, obsessed over the fact there's little to no information on your and Jimin's mark, trying to ignore the messages from your mother and sister. They were asking about Guwon and why you decided to end things. You know that you should explain, you at least owe your mother the reason why you had decided to stop seeing the lawyer but you couldn't.
After days of her constant questioning and spamming links of wedding organizers and dressmakers, you couldn't find the courage to face your mother.
Not that it matters anymore though, not after last night.
Would you send her to an early grave once you tell her the news? How do you even break the news to your parents? Hi mom, I'm sorry I've been ignoring you yesterday. Yes, I stopped seeing Guwon but hey, I found you five new son-in-laws and they happen to be the members of the world's biggest boyband so don't be mad yeah?
She might just make true to her threat of hanging you upside down on a sack on your porch back in the province.
The same thought had led you to realizing how bad it would’ve gone if you got engaged with Guwon in Jeju only to find out the next day who your soulmates were. 
When you trudged to the bathroom, exhaustion weighed your bones but you excused it to your shitty sleep.
Not once has any of the boys reached out to you the whole night, Seokjin’s silence louder than the others. You know that they're busy handling the paperworks due today but to have not a single text in the groupchat made dread crawl up within you. It had never once died down in all those years it existed until last night.
So when the door rang a quarter to nine, you jumped.
The door opens and Namjoon steps into your living room with Seokjin following closely behind him, expression guarded and eyes averted while his leader approaches you. Both their eyes are swollen, no doubt from a sleepless night.
(You try not to notice how Seokjin looks far puffier than the other.)
“Sorry we went silent, we got… busy talking about things,” Namjoon began, voice soft as ever as he approached you to wrap his arms around you and you let him. “Hyung’s here with me to drive you to the DFR, the others went first since we decided that it's better if you're not lumped up with all your soulmates in one small space so it's just us three for a while.”
“Have you eaten?” Seokjin asks, unmoving from where he stands a step away from the door, guarded and stiff, as if trying to meld himself into the wood.
His voice is hoarse and he looked more worn than you've ever seen him in years yet he managed to sound soft and put on the smallest of smiles. Your heart twinges.
“I haven't, you guys didn't tell me when we were going to have the bond registered.”
Namjoon sheepishly scratches the back of his head. “We got busy the whole night discussing how we'll be moving forward, the company has already cleared out the department office and as Hobi-hyung might've told you, they're doing everything they can to keep this under wraps for now.”
“There’s unfortunately no time for take-outs due to the time crunch, I doubt you guys will be out by twelve but I think we can all go for a good, filling lunch.”
“Jinnie, are you okay?”
The words slipped out of your lips before you could realize it had. His eyes widened for a fracture, taken aback before a sad smile stretched his lips.
“I will be, don't worry.”
Namjoon claps his hands abruptly, cutting through the air as he forces out a grin. “Alright, let's be on our way.”
“What about the family dinners?” You pushed on.
“We'll tell them the truth. I can't exactly bring you to family dinners as my fake girlfriend anymore now, can I?”
What started as Jin needing your help in stopping vulture-like aunties trying to introduce their daughters to him, grew far more serious when Mrs. Kim began to invite you annually to their family reunion dinners and had begun sending you the occasional gift boxes from her trips abroad. 
You tried giving them to Jin when the first box came but he insisted you keep them anyway. It made you feel guilty for tricking his family, especially his mother, but Jin needed your help in warding off the bad energy.
“We told hyung that once the bond gets stable next year, you can continue attending them.” Namjoon adds.
“Obviously I denied, what a stupid idea.” Seokjin immediately responds with a scoff and crosses his arms. “Why are you even paired with them when they disregard your safety like this? Really, why would you guys even suggest that?”
Namjoon turns to him with a look that seems to ask ‘do you really want me to answer that?’ and Seokjin pursed his lips in a straight line. You laughed.
It was a relief to see that nothing has changed within their dynamics. You had feared the day everyone would turn against each other because of you. It had made you wary of how much time you spend with a member one on one, scared the others would think of it as picking favorites. 
To see Seokjin, the one you have no doubt been more devastated than Hoseok, be making light hearted jokes about the soulmarks lifted off a huge weight from your shoulders.
“I hope auntie won't take it to heart. You were a nice boyfriend but you kept nagging me to pay a nonsense debt.”
“You still have a balance to settle with me, don't forget that,” He jokes. “But seriously, mom would be sad, she liked you better than me.”
Namjoon's phone pings, the sound silencing you both. With a hissed apology, he turned his attention to the device and read the notification on his lock screen before turning to you.
“We need to get going soon. Hobi hyung said Yoongi hyung and Jimin just got called up.”
“Wait, I haven't showered yet! You guys didn't even warn me!”
But as you move to run back to your room, Namjoon stops you with a hand on your shoulder.
“It's fine, noona.”
“It's not like we haven't seen you with unwashed hair for two days straight.”
“What was the longest day, hyung?” Namjoon clicks his fingers, a small teasing grin tugging his lips.
“Three days I think?”
“I thought it was a week?”
“It might’ve been.”
Their laughter when you slapped both their arms twinkled in your ears. The sound warming your chest but also grating your gears at the same time. 
Fresher than you had been earlier, you all arrive at the DFA an hour later. Spending thirty preparing, another half traveling to the heart of Seoul.
There's already a few bodyguards dressed in civilian wear lingering outside the office. Mr. Lee approached the car once the three of you began to step out before ushering all of you inside the building with a few other guards.
Save for the receptionists on the other side of the counter placed in the dead middle of the room, the lobby was empty. Sejin comes out from the wide open arch on the right, a man dressed in a neatly ironed tailored black suit following behind him. 
“Let's all move to where the rest are. We couldn't rent the building for the whole day so they’ll be opening to the general public soon but we were allowed to have one floor to ourselves.”
None of you objects and followed him to the elevator and to the second floor where you were immediately greeted by Taehyung, Hoseok and Jungkook sitting on the blue plastic seats clustered by both sides of the walls.
When the metal doors parts open, their heads turn and immediately, Taehyung stands and runs up to you with arms wide.
Namjoon and Seokjin weren't able to react fast enough. The moment Taehyung wrapped himself around you, a powerful wave of bliss crashed over you and your legs gave out. They all screamed your name as you fell but they were muffled, hands grabbed onto whatever they could in the haste of catching you.
In the bleariness of your vision, you could make out Taehyung narrowly avoiding crumpling onto the floor when someone caught him by the waist.
“...That was so stupid of you…”
“...Why…Taehyung?...”
“Noona?”
The haze clears and you find yourself being carried by Seokjin into the nearest doctor’s office. You hear the door open before Yoongi’s exasperated but concerned voice follows.
“What the hell happened now?”
“We have no idea, Tae’s touch didn’t do this to her last night.”
“Fuckin—Just get her inside.”
“Noona, I’m so sorry!”
Seokjin lets you down on a soft cushioned armchair and you find yourself staring back at a bespectacled woman with hair so straight you wonder how Yoongi didn't feel exorcized at the sight of it.
She didn't waste any time and she rose from her seat to inject something in your arm. 
“What a wild introduction this is. First you come in with five soulmates, a Nexus group and one of them having Healing Touch, and as if that's not intriguing enough, you faint after a touch from Love Prints! So, very interesting!”
She returns to her seat as the haze ebbs away from your vision with the glowing purple paint on your torso.
“I guess it's true that all soul specialists are… enthusiastic.”
“Only on the right things, don't worry we don't bite.”
There's almost a manic look in her eyes as she stares at you with a fascination only seen in a mad geologist who had found a new and infinitely curious piece of history in the dirt. Seokjin pats your shoulders, squeezing it assuringly for the last time before he disappears out the door.
“So, how's this gonna go?”
Doctor Gwak Jihye was a woman with flat light brown hair almost the same height as you. There's narrow rectangle glasses sitting neatly on the bridge of her nose and a notable beauty mark placed on the apple of her cheekbones. Black vine-like tattoos peaked out of her cream turtleneck, a soulmark you guessed once you saw the ring on her finger.
The band is as dark as the night yet gleaned like stars under the bright light of the room with three deep blue sapphires engraved on the front. A ring made from soul metal, created and used only by the tethered. 
She wore the standard white coat of every doctor you’ve ever met with the exception of the detailed pin of two white strings knotted together inside the lining of a heart and a red cross placed in the middle of it all.
“We'll do the basic health checks, the measurements and all the like. Nothing too difficult. Then we educate you on every soulmark you have. You are aware of what you have with the five of them, correct?”
She rapid fires and you're left agape, mouth closing and open as your brain catches up. The doctor raised an eyebrow and you nod. With that, she motions to the scales behind you as she stands. You followed the woman to the stadiometer placed next to the door. 
Once she was done taking your measurements down, you both returned to her desk where she asked you a few questions about your allergies and recent medical history. It was an easy procedure, almost boring. 
The ever so present exhaustion from waking up that morning is still weighing your bones, you yawned. Staying awake felt like a challenge and you don't doubt she had noticed this when she placed down her board to open her drawer.
“You are feeling more exhausted than before, am I correct in assuming this?”
“Yes…?”
She hummed when she found what she was looking for and placed the thick white medicine bottle in front of you.
“This should help your body get used to the bonds whenever you touch Jimin or Taehyung. The exhaustion is normal since you live far from them but once you move in and are surrounded by your soulmates, you should feel more energized.”
Amoneuron, it reads on the label. Curious, you twist the lid open to see what might just be a hundred of blush pink colored round pills.
“With that out of the way, from what I've heard from Yoongi, you've researched every soulmark there is at one point in your life but I doubt that you don't have any questions,” She fished out the yellow folder under her board and opened it, not knowing how surprised you are to hear Yoongi’s involvement. “Anything you'd like to know about?”
Your mind takes you back to the empty search and countless ‘Did you mean…?’ questions on every result. Jimin and your marks never yielded any results, none in Naver and none in Google. 
You tried finding it in your books but none of them were ever close to the touch activated golden swirls and the feeling of being rejuvenated.
“I tried researching what could be Jimin and I’s soulmark but I couldn't find one, is it that rare of a mark?”
She nods. “Healing touch, there's so little information of that type of mark since the last recorded case can be traced back to 1894.”
Your eyes widen, surprised by how rare of a mark you share with Jimin.
“Which meant if there were soul-link related sickness between you, I fear that we won't be much of help as we don't know much about Healing Touch other than mates who has it doesn't get hungry, thirsty nor need much sleep if they interacted enough,” She gauges your reaction, when she saw your confusion she continues. “By interacting enough, I don't mean hugs or hand holding, I mean kisses and sex.”
You began to cough violently, choking on your saliva at her bluntness, cheeks burning bright but she ignored you and continued.
“Hand holding and hugs can only guarantee better stamina and endurance, even being close enough can make the other have a bottomless energy. As this concerns a highly valued individual, our team is already attempting to acquire more information about Healing Touch but I don’t have an estimated time on when we’ll be ready to share our findings, please understand that we are also surprised by this mark’s sudden revival.” She smiled. “Anything else you'd like to ask?”
“Are Taehyung and Jimin's marks somehow similar? I remember feeling… rejuvenated whenever the both of them touched me but then got overstimulated.”
Her eyebrows rose.
“No, Taehyung’s touch shouldn’t affect you outside of the first touch nor should you be suffering from soulbond hyperactivity from both of them. When Seokjin had carried you in, what exactly happened beforehand?”
“When Taehyung hugged me again not too long ago, we experienced soulbond hyperactivity.”
“Huh.” Was all she replied with, hand scribbling furiously on her notes. You had the urge to sit up a little straight and take a peak at what she’s writing down so passionately but decided against it, fearing what you might learn from it.
“Any guesses on what could have caused this?”
“It's hard to say much for now since Healing Touch is a very rare mark. But I can hazard a guess and say that due to their similar nature being touch-activated marks and Healing Touch being as powerful as it is, it had influenced Love Print somehow.” 
If Taehyung’s soulmark has evolved due to Healing Touch as suspected, then does that mean the benefits, at least the bare bones of them, extend to him as well?
You already sense the building headache you’re about to experience in the future with three—including Jungkook whose energy is already a thousand times more of a kid in a toy store—bouncy men with the energy of a toddler in a sugar rush. In advance, you began to pray internally for Namjoon, Sejin, and Seokjin’s sanity.
“It seems that I am due to share notes with the doctor who had interviewed Jimin,” She says as she slams close the cover of her journal with a smile. “This could lead to a breakthrough in the future. With both of your permissions, we would like to study your soulmark more intimately.”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to it but my soulmate might not share the sentiment. The company as well.”
“Your soulmarks could very well lead up to the discovery of the cure to an incurable disease, I doubt he would decline such a possibility.”
You don’t doubt the possibility of your soulmark being the answer to the long time issue of something as fatal as cancer or dementia but the prospect of being examined, had made you feel uncomfortable. To be under intense scrutiny and possibly put under a specific diet to tailor to their needs—especially when Jimin had only recently stopped caring about his body image—had made you more unwilling to participate.
You’d spare a few vials of blood since your bond can regenerate it back in record time but a prolonged trial is definitely a no.
“Why did it manifest now? After all those years, why now?” You ask abruptly, trying to change the subject. 
You hoped she would take the bait and luckily, she did with a defeated sigh.
“As you know, once we hit the age of 16, the chances of meeting our soulmates goes up to 10% and will gain the same amount the next year. This will continue on until it hits a hundred on the 26th and the chances of manifesting a mark stops on the 27th,” You nod, feigning ignorance and she continues. “The Nexus connection had to wait for Jungkook to show which had put yours and the rest to a state of dormancy. So when he turned 21, with half a hundred chance, he finally got a mark and here we are.”
You stand and bow, not wanting to leave any free millisecond where she could try continuing to pressure you into agreeing into their research.
“Thank you so much for your insight, Dr. Gwak.”
She looked incredulous and surprised by your sudden actions before returning the gesture.
“It’s a pleasure to be able to foresee a unique connection such as yours, Ms. Y/n. I hope you all the best.”
With that, you leave the room in a haste and let out the biggest exhale once the door behind you closes.
You hear the soft murmurs of voice just around the corner where you guessed you’ll find everyone save for Namjoon who must’ve been called after you had been carried in by Seokjin. But when one door closes, another opens. There’s still a few things you’re due today, a talk with the inner circle of the company, talking with the legal team to figure out who else can know the connection outside of your Nexus, and how you’ll be continuing working as their make-up artist.
There’s a tug down the thread and you look down at your pinkie to see the line turn tangible and vibrant.
‘How are you?’
‘Feeling good?’
Tentatively, you twirled the string around your finger and the headache fades. You watch as it glows brighter, livelier with both hosts touching it before tugging it back twice. 
‘Good.’
Instantly, Yoongi responds.
‘Glad. ‘
You expected the string to dim but it remained vibrant under both of your touch and warmth exploded in your chest.
“Are you the lady with the Healing Touch soulmark?”
You jumped back to see an old woman, around the age of sixty, peering up at you with a gentle smile playing on her lips. She dons the same white coat Dr. Gwak wears the same pin of a soul specialist on the lapel and her name tag displayed on her breast pocket.
Shin Sun-young, it reads.
“In my years of being a specialist, I've never seen so many souls connected to one so I'm sorry if I'm a bit much, I'm very curious how it must feel. Having one is already overwhelming for me, I can’t imagine how you’re feeling now.”
“Yeah it's a bit much sometimes. I don't know how to deal with it.”
“We have some medicines for that but I’m sure you already know that and have been prescribed right. It’ll dull up your senses then you can stop taking it after a year.”
She pats your back as you both walk off the sides and you find your soulmates sitting obediently down the hall. Jimin was lying on one cluster of seats in front of the others with an arm over his eyes and the other pinched into a fist on top of his stomach while the rest of the boys squeezed together into the five seats on the opposite wall. 
You notice the missing presence of their eldest but shrugged it off, guessing that he must've wandered off to find the bathroom or a vending machine.
“I hope it goes well for you seven, I'm sure they'll treat you so well.”
Your head snaps to her. “Seven?”
“Oh? Am I wrong? I thought all of those boys are tethered to you. Forgive this old soul.”
You try to not think about how she must’ve intentionally guessed wrong to fish for information. Soul specialists have the reputation of being crazy knowledge-driven people with barely any other qualifying trait other than their unusual obsession with soulmates after all and this lady just happens to be one.
“Hoseok and Jin, their eldest who has gone somewhere, aren't tethered to me. There's no sign of any marks manifesting and we just assumed the worst.”
You hated how you sounded so dejected. You must’ve sounded so greedy to the lady for wanting to have your seven friends to be yours, as if you even deserve Seokjin’s unfaltering love.
She hums. “Are you sure about that?”
“What do you mean?” You ask with an eyebrow raised.
“Dear, everything in the world is advanced now. They could have their blood tested to see if there's a possibility that they're also tethered to you.”
You were reminded of the times where you began to dread your birthdays when you should've been celebrating, the desperation before the abrupt descend of defeat on your birthday this year when you finally realize that you weren't 
“How is that possible? Why now? We've had years of technological evolution but something like that only appears now? Where was this when I wanted to find out if I was—”
She sighs and puts a hand on your shoulder, effectively shutting you up. “Soulmates are spiritual deary. Past technology and brains of yesterdays had difficulty in figuring out the hows and why it works. But now, I can assure you that we have finally found a way to find if you're really untethered or not.”
“Tha-that’s a thing?”
You turned around to find Seokjin on the opposite hall, carrying what seems to be a hundred snacks with two hands, surprise contorting his face. Crossing the distance in under two steps, he stared at the lady with hopeful eyes.
“Where can I have myself checked?”
The way his voice dripped with hope, with desperation of a man who had lost his way and finally found a chance of redemption, a new salvation to pour his attention to. Hearing it made your chest clench. But there was no testimony for their new found tech, there's no telling if they're actually telling the truth.
As much as you are curious as to what the result could be, you couldn't have Seokjin join the test all hopeful only to fall into a deeper hole if he found out that he's actually untethered.
Your heart won't be able to handle the absolute devastation that would follow.
“Jinnie—”
“You boys are in luck, we just had the machine set up last night and we’re looking for volunteers.”
“I’ll do it. Me and someone else.” 
As they began to talk about the technicalities of using the machine and partaking in their research, you found yourself standing there in shock. 
You already suspected Hoseok also shared the same sentiment Jin held but to hear him indirectly confirm them had your heart bottoming to the soles of your feet. The guilt that used to only stem from Jin and Taehyung's confession came back to you like a blow to the head.
Jin then walked away, you followed to see him approach an increasingly concerned Hoseok who watched his hyung march up to him with an indistinguishable fire in his eyes.
“Hoba, I found a way.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Found a way? To-to what exactly?”
“They have the technology to figure out if we're actually untethered or not.”
Everyone's eyes widened. Jimin had woken up from his nap and turned his head to his hyungs, shocked by what he had heard. Taehyung's jaw hung open, looking around in bewilderment before he stood to walk around the rest of the boys and into the stunned Hoseok on the other side of the seats to engulf him in a hug.
Even Manager Sejin who had been talking to the lawyer he brought with him had turned to listen to the conversation.
“H-Hyung—”
“I've already talked to the doctor who will be overseeing our examination and all they ask of us is our blood then the resul—”
“No.”
Seokjin’s shine dims with the atmosphere as his smile falls. Taehyung pulls away, more astounded than he was before as he stares at him in disbelief.
“Hyung?”
“Wh-what do you mean?” Seokjin stammers out in disbelief.
Hoseok lets out a defeated sigh. “What if it came out as negative? Hyung, I've already accepted my status. I-I don't want to raise my hopes up only to come down to the same result we’re all expecting.”
“It doesn't hurt to try Hoba,” Seokjin said softer this time as he placed a hand on his shoulder. “Try with me, please. If it's negative, at least we can lament together.”
The younger man stared up at his hyung, conflicted. For a while, all Hoseok did was look back into the fire in Seokjin’s eyes, searching for an answer only he knew the questions to before he stand up and nodded, motioning to his hyung to lead him the way
Everyone waited for them to return, ordering a diabolical amount of fast food to eat for lunch as the two were taken to the testing area. You took the seat next to Yoongi, making sure you’re far away from the practically vibrating Tae and Jungkook staring at you with wide, puppy eyes. 
It's only 10am at that point yet your energy tank is drier than the sahara and non-existent as a stress-free day. When the two returned, you were already slumped down on Yoongi's shoulder half asleep.
The day unfortunately, didn't end there.
After your soulmarks were registered, you all went to BigHit for a meeting and you thanked the high heavens no one from your department had seen you enter the conference room with the boys and a lawyer.
Minhyuk had asked you why there'll be a company party at dinner but no birthday boy will be showing up. You lied and told him that Jungkook’s going back to Busan to celebrate his birthday with his family. Jihye had also questioned your absence and you had apologized to her, knowing how often you've been going for leaves these past few weeks.
She says it's fine but you still feel bad anyways.
The meeting was short yet it felt like centuries has passed until you were freed. Just a couple of rules being laid like you being unable to handle Jimin and Taehyung anymore, the living situation where you'd be moved to the Bangtan dorms, and who else would be allowed to know about the connections between you and the boys.
Thankfully, they had approved letting your three friends know once you reasoned that they'll be able to save you once people began to question your aversion to touching Jimin and Taehyung in the future.
By the time you had trudge into your room, you were beyond the word exhaustion. Brain far too fogged up you to pick up on the blaring red lights in your mind as the world swirled around you and you fell face first into your bed.
You chalked it up to your sleepless night and the emotional stress you've gone through these past few days so imagine your shock when you wake up and find yourself in a sterile and white room whose ceiling lights burned your eyes the moment they opened again.
It was so bright and so white, you remember passing out before you came here and all you could feel now was bliss, as if the heavy baggage you've collected from last week and last night had been lifted off your form.
As if you were in heaven.
“G-God?”
“No, it's Min Yoongi. Open your eyes, brat.”
The haze clears at his gruff voice and you begin to hear the stable beeping echoing in the hollow room. There's a heavy weight wounded loosely around your waist as well on your legs, turning your head, you were faced with the peaceful but almost colorless face of Jimin, his usually plush pink lips now pale and chaffed as his body trembled next to you; you were shaking too.
Turning to Yoongi to ask him what happened, you find your hand entangled with his. His impassive face now laced with concern and there were dark bags hanging under his eyes as if he hadn't been sleeping for a while.
“What the fuck happened?”
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magic-shop-stories · 28 days ago
Note
I just found your blog and I love the way you set up your headcanons!!
Could I request your take on soulmate aus for all the boys? Like, what kind of soulmate system would each of them have, how would they meet their fated person? Does it go smoothly, or is it a bumpy ride?
💌 Reply:
Ahhh, thank you so much for the love and this adorable request! 💜 I’ was so thrilled to dive into BTS Soulmate AUs and i really hope it's what you imagined and that it is to your liking 💜 ... Have fun - C -
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NAMJOON
Intellectual Slow Burn
HOW YOU MEET
tiny indie bookstore in Mapo-gu
shelves crammed with philosophy and poetry
Namjoon frequents it weekly
always in the same corner - floor cushion #3
green tea cooling beside him
you’re the part-time clerk who restocks the “Existentialism” section every Thursday
you both annotate books with sticky notes
leaving thoughts for strangers
one day, you pick up Nietzsche’s Thus Spoke Zarathustra
you find his note: “Is the Übermensch just a coping mechanism for capitalism? (asking for a friend) – RM”
your reply: “No, but your sticky notes are. – Y/N”
DETAILS
His Notes
philosophical musings in tiny
precise handwriting, dotted with coffee stains
he underlines quotes about self-love and the universe’s indifference
Your Notes
sarcastic quips in purple gel pen
doodles of crying clouds next to Camus passages
The Book That Changes Everything
a battered copy of The Little Prince
he writes: “Do you think the rose ever apologized for being high maintenance?”
you respond: “The fox did all the emotional labor. Discuss.”
FIRST CONVERSATION
Where
booshop
8 PM
rain taps the windows
he’s clutching The Myth of Sisyphus like a lifeline
What He Says
“So. You’re the one who called Kant a ‘coward in a wig.’” (Rubs his neck, glasses fogging.)
“I... I brought banana milk. As a… peace offering? For the capitalism thing.”
His Thoughts
“She’s prettier than her handwriting. Way prettier. Abort mission... wait, is that a Demian reference on her tote bag?”
HOW HE APPROACHES
Phase 1
leaves longer notes with his phone number scribbled in Morse code
you decode it while he pretends to browse
Phase 2
“accidentally” drops his favorite fountain pen near your counter
note inside: 
“Dinner? I’ll let you rant about Heidegger.”
Phase 3
you hesitate
he blurts: 
“I’m not good at this. But I’m really good at… listening. And losing umbrellas. Mainly listening.”
HOW YOU GET TOGETHER
Timeline
Week 1-4
notes escalate to essay-length debates in the margins of Rilke poetry
Week 5
first “date” at a 24-hour diner
he brings a 3-page bullet-point list 
titled “Reasons I Might Be Annoying (Please Critique)”
Week 8
takes you to Seoul Forest
kneels to fix your shoelace
muttering: 
“I think… I’m yours. If you’ll have me. And my overthinking.”
DETAILS pt. 2
Glasses Move
adjusts them three times when nervous
you count them during his confession
Banana Milk
always keeps a carton in his bag 
“in case of existential emergencies"
Secret Playlist
makes you a lo-fi mix titled “Margin Notes”
samples of bookstore ambient noise
track 7: “Pause for Highlighters.”
Bookmark Gift
carves you a wooden bookmark with “NamKimdiary” on the back (his old Tumblr username)
KEY DIALOGUE
After Your First Kiss
“I’ve written a thousand metaphors about love. None of them… this.”
When You Fight
“I’d rather lose every debate than lose you. Even if you’re wrong about Sartre.”
Proposal (Years Later)
slips a note into your shared copy of The Little Prince: 
“Tame me?”
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JIN
Culinary Chaos to Comfort
HOW YOU MEET
a Michelin-starred restaurant in Gangnam
Jin is the elusive "Chef Kim"
known for emotional tasting menus
you’re a food critic
anonymously reviewing his dishes
every course he creates makes you feel his hidden emotions
loneliness in a bitter chocolate soufflé
joy in honey-drizzled tteokbokki
you taste the true emotion behind his dishes
he receives anonymous letters about his food = your critiques
they inexplicably quote his inner thoughts
DETAILS
His Dishes
Jjajangmyeon that tastes like nostalgia
= his childhood memories of cooking with his mom
Bingsu that bursts with loneliness
= his early trainee days
Your Reviews
“The sea urchin risotto screamed, ‘I miss my brothers.’ Hire a therapist, Chef.”
“The kimchi stew is perfection, but why does it taste like you’re afraid of being forgotten?”
FIRST CONVERSATION
Where
his restaurant’s kitchen
2 AM
corners you after you sneak in to confront him
What He Says
“You. You’re the one who called my soufflé ‘a cry for help in dessert form.’” 
arms crossed, apron splattered with gochujang
“Do you have any idea how many chefs cried because of your ‘constructive feedback’?” 
pauses, then smirks
“…It was kinda hot.”
His Thoughts
“She’s got a resting critic face, but her eyes… they see me. Wait... did she just steal a dumpling?
HOW HE APPROACHES
Phase 1
leaves a mystery dish at your doorstep daily
each meal paired with a dad joke: “Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing… and also you.”
Phase 2
invites you to a “private tasting”
just him cooking army stew in sweatpants
“No Michelin rules. Just… us.”
Phase 3
call him out for hiding behind jokes
he admits: 
“I’m scared you’ll taste the mess I really am.”
HOW YOU GET TOGETHER
Timeline
Month 1
exchange angry sticky notes on his fridge
he doodles himself as a crying onion
Month 2
crashes your live mukbang stream
shouting: 
“That’s my japchae! And my future wife!” 
trends for a week
Month 3
cooks you a five-course meal where every dish tastes like unconditional love
no words
just a ring hidden in a bubble tea pearl
DETAILS pt.2
Dad Joke Diary:
keeps a notebook of jokes to make you laugh
#1: Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack up… like you do at 3 AM.
Secret Ingredient
adds a pinch of sugar to every savory dish he makes you
“To match your smile.”
Mukbang Cameos
sneaks into your streams wearing a Gucci apron
shouting “EAT THIS, NOT THAT!” 
feeding you strawberries
Birthday Surprise
recreates an "I Purple You” live setup in your kitchen
“This time, it’s our color.”
KEY DIALOGUE
During a Fight
“You think I’m just ‘Worldwide Handsome’? I’m terrified you’ll realize I’m just… Jin.”
First “I Love You”
“I don’t need a Michelin star. I just need you to taste this.” 
feeds you a strawberry that bursts with devotion
Proposal
“Marry me. I’ll annoy you with dad jokes for eternity… and make sure you never eat alone again.”
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YOONGI
Silent Understanding & Creative Synchronicity
HOW YOU MEET
late-night music production studio in Hongdae
Yoongi works under the pseudonym "Agust D"
you’re a lyricist for indie artists
known only by your pen name "Shadow"
your words and his beats have been paired anonymously by a streaming algorithm
= creating viral hits
you’ve never met
your lyrics and his instrumentals align too perfectly
every time he uploads a track labeled “Unfinished” 
you fill in the gaps with verses that mirror his unspoken emotions
fans call it “fate’s playlist”
DETAILS
His Tracks
haunting piano melodies with gaps in the rhythm
as if waiting for words
song titled “Interlude: Ghost” 
muffled voice memo: 
“Someone out there… knows.”
Your Lyrics
raw, introspective verses about isolation and quiet hope 
they trend every time he drops a beat
bridge for his track “The Last” 
reads: 
“I built these walls, but you’re the echo in the hall.”
FIRST CONVERSATION
Where
24-hour coffee shop near his studio
he recognizes your voice from a podcast where you dissected his “Daechwita” instrumental
What He Says
“You’re Shadow.” 
no greeting, just a tired smirk
slides you a USB drive
labeled “Track 08 – Fix It.”
“The last line you wrote… ‘the static in my veins.’ Why?” 
stirs his black coffee
avoiding eye contact
His Thoughts
“She’s younger than I imagined. But her eyes... they’ve seen the same nights as me. Damn, she’s good.”
HOW HE APPROACHES
Phase 1
leaves cryptic notes in the metadata of his tracks
“Meet me at 3 AM. – D” 
show up at the studio with a thermos of honey citron tea
Phase 2
collaborates with you anonymously
a song called “Burn It pt.2”
changes the final chorus to “Stay.”
Phase 3
after a year of demos, he sends a track titled “First Love” 
no melody
just his voice: 
“I’m bad at this. But… let’s try.”
HOW YOU GET TOGETHER
Timeline
Year 1
anonymous collabs
notices you quote his live rants in your lyrics
Year 2
confront him after recognizing his piano riff from an old Bangtan Bomb
“You’re Agust D. Why hide?”
Year 3
he produces a fully instrumental track for your poetry book
liner notes read: 
“Your words were my first language.”
DETAILS pt.2
Studio Ritual
leaves the window open when he wants you to visit
playing “Seesaw” on loop
Secret Track
hidden file on his SoundCloud named “Glossary_Of_Us” 
has snippets of your voice
Lyric Easter Egg
quotes your first-ever verse in his SUGA mixtape sequel:
“The static’s gone. Now it’s just us.”
Coffee Cup Codes
draws tiny piano keys on your takeout cups
he’s too shy to say “I miss you.”
KEY DIALOGUE
When You Confront Him
“I don’t believe in soulmates. But you… you’re a glitch I can’t fix.”
First Duet Session
“Your voice isn’t perfect. Good. Neither am I.”
Proposal
samples your laugh into a song titled “Forever Interlude.”
credits list: “Feat. My Forever First LOVE.”
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J-HOPE
Collaborative Growth & Digital to Real-Life Connection
HOW YOU MEET
on a global dance challenge app called SyncSteps
users upload videos and are algorithmically paired with "rhythm partners."
Hobi joins anonymously under the handle SunshineDance
you’re a shy dance enthusiast
using the app to overcome stage fright
posting under ShadowSteps
the app’s AI matches you based on complementary styles
your fluid, expressive movements sync perfectly with his sharp, energetic choreography
your collaborations go viral
you don’t know each other’s identities
DETAILS
His Videos
crisp, powerful routines tagged with motivational captions: 
“You’re one step closer to shining!”
a freestyle titled “Midnight Groove”
= he leaves a frame empty
urging you to fill it: 
“Your turn, Shadow.”
Your Videos
intimate, emotion-driven dances in dimly lit rooms
your first upload caption: 
“For the girl in the mirror who’s still learning.”
a response to Midnight Groove where you dance in a sunlit studio,
caption: “Found the light.”
FIRST CONVERSATION
Where
app’s chat feature
he messages after your first collab goes viral
What He Says
“Your flow is 🔥! But why hide your face? The world needs to see you.” 
adds a sunflower emoji
“I’ll teach you a confidence combo. Step 1: Pretend the mirror is your best friend. Step 2: Steal their swag.”
His Thoughts
“She’s got raw talent, but she’s holding back. Let’s change that… gently.”
HOW HE APPROACHES
Phase 1
creates personalized warm-ups for you
tagging you in posts: 
“@ShadowSteps – this one’s for your left side hesitation.”
Phase 2
sends voice notes with pep talks 
disguised as "dance tips": 
“Remember, mistakes are just freestyle opportunities!”
Phase 3
after months of collaboration, he slips his number into a private video description: 
“Text me. Let’s choreograph IRL.”
HOW YOU GET TOGETHER
Timeline
Month 1-6
viral collabs
late-night app chats
he nicknames you “Shadow Warrior.”
Month 7 - 8
you join a live workshop he hosts
masked, like your videos
he recognizes your signature wrist flick mid-session
Month 9
invites you to co-choreograph a piece for his dance crew
at rehearsal, he pulls off his cap: 
“Surprise. It’s your Sunshine.”
DETAILS pt.2
Playlist Clues
his practice mixes include BTS’s “Butter” remixes
track #7 is always “Chicken Noodle Soup”
= your first collab choreo song
Signature Move
adds a tiny hop to routines when he’s happy
you mimic it in your videos
Secret Code
uses yellow post-it notes during IRL performances
“YOU GOT THIS” 
= the same phrase from his app comments
Meme King
sends you edits of your dances with dancing carrot GIFs 
captioned: “When you finally nail the combo.”
KEY DIALOGUE
When You Reveal Your Face
“I knew you’d be beautiful. But damn, you’re a supernova.”
During a Setback
“We don’t ‘fail.’ We freestyle. Now grab my hand and trust the beat.”
Confession
“I fell for you in 8-counts. But I’ll love you in infinite ones.”
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JIMIN
Emotional Mirrors, Artistic Synchronicity
HOW YOU MEET
global photography platform called Frame & Soul
users submit photos
paired algorithmically with "emotional complements."
Jimin posts under JM_Eyes
you’re a introspective travel photographer
posting as Silhouette_Shots
app pairs your photos based on unspoken emotions
his shot of a rainy Seoul alley at 3 AM syncs with your sunrise over a deserted beach
both tagged “loneliness and hope.” 
your galleries become a silent dialogue
DETAILS
His Photos
moody, intimate shots:
half-empty wine glass backstage
his shadow stretching across a rehearsal floor
crumpled lyric sheets.
self-portrait of his reflection in a broken mirror captioned: 
“Pieces of me I can’t name.”
Your Photos
stark, vivid contrasts:
a lone flower in a cracked sidewalk
storm clouds parting over a cityscape
a response to his mirror photo: 
“Even broken glass reflects light.”
FIRST CONVERSATION
Where:
Frame & Soul exhibition in Busa
your paired photos are displayed side-by-side
recognizes your style instantly
What He Says
“You’re Silhouette_Shots.” 
voice soft
eyes tracing your photo
“How did you… see that?”
“Your picture of the ocean... it felt like my choreography. Heavy, but… free.”
His Thoughts
“She’s quieter than I imagined. But her hands, they’ve held cameras and courage. God, she’s beautiful.”
HOW HE APPROACHES
Phase 1
leaves cryptic comments on your photos: 
“Your shadows have better rhythm than me.” 
attaches a video of him dancing to your sunset photo’s timestamp
Phase 2
sends you a disposable camera with a note: 
“Capture something I’ve never seen. I’ll do the same.”
return it with a shot of dandelions surviving concrete
sends back a photo of his bare feet on a studio floor
matching your caption: 
“Roots in unexpected places.”
Phase 3
invites you to a silent photo walk through Seoul
communicates only through his camera lens
guiding you to his favorite hidden spots
HOW YOU GET TOGETHER
Timeline
Month 1-3
viral photo pairs
late-night app DMs dissecting light and shadow
Month 4
sneaks you into his dance studio
choreographing a piece inspired by your storm cloud series
“You’re my muse. But I’m… scared to be yours.”
Month 6
you collaborate on a photo book titled “Unspoken.”
final page is his shot of two coffee cups with steam forming a heart
your caption: “Developed.”
DETAILS pt.2
Polaroid Habit
leaves Polaroids in your bag
doodled arrows pointing to his favorite parts of your face
Dance Codes
humming “Serendipity” when he’s nervous
then denying it
“It’s… a vocal exercise.”
Exhibition Easter Egg
hides a tiny JM logo in the corner of his photos
matching your SS watermark
Secret Project
films a dance video
his movements trace the shapes of your photographs
credits list: “Choreography by Us.”
KEY DIALOGUE
When You Doubt Your Art
“You think your photos are just ‘pretty’? They’re alive. Like you.”
First Kiss
“I’ve danced for millions. But this… this is the first time I’ve felt the audience.”
Confession
“I used to chase perfection. Now I just chase your light.”
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TAEHYUNG
Tangible Connections & Nostalgic Serendipity
HOW YOU MEET
a cozy vintage shop in Daegu named Timeless Treasures
known for its eclectic mix of retro cameras, vinyl records, and handwritten letters tucked inside secondhand books
Taehyung frequents the shop
leaving behind curated items with cryptic notes
you’re a freelance writer
you discover his first note inside a 1970s film camera: 
“Capture the moments everyone else forgets. – V”
you both leave meaningful objects for each other in the shop
accompanied by handwritten stories or questions
the shop owner, a wise elderly woman, acts as a silent guardian
she's placing your items in a dedicated corner
labeled: “Soul Exchange.”
DETAILS
His Items
a saxophone pin with a note: 
“For the jazz in your soul. Play it loud.”
pressed maple leaf from his childhood home: 
“Autumn remembers what summer forgets.”
Gucci scarf (fake) with: 
“Even fakes can feel real if you believe.”
Your Responses
a typewriter key (the letter “V”) and a poem: 
“Words fail, but keys don’t lie.”
mismatched teacup with a story about your grandmother: 
“Broken things brew the best stories.”
FIRST CONVERSATION
Where
shop’s dusty record aisle
catches you inspecting his latest gift
= a vinyl of “Fly Me to the Moon” 
a note: “Dance like no one’s watching… but me.”
What He Says
“You’re the one who took my camera.”
grins, holding up your poem
“Your words taste like hobakjuk; sweet, but… lonely.”
“Why a typewriter key? I’ve been staring at it for weeks.” 
tilts his head, curiosity sparking
His Thoughts
“She writes like she’s lived a thousand lives. And her smile... god, it’s brighter than my flashbulbs.”
HOW HE APPROACHES
Phase 1
leaves a blank journal titled “Our Untold Stories” 
a challenge: “Fill this. I’ll do the rest.” 
you respond with a tale about a boy who speaks in riddles
Phase 2
gifts you a polaroid camera and a map of Daegu with circled locations: 
“Show me your city.” 
your photos of abandoned theaters and sunlit alleys become his muse
Phase 3
sends a vinyl record with a hidden track
his hummed rendition of “Winter Bear”
label reads: “For the girl who hears my silence.”
HOW YOU GET TOGETHER
Timeline
Month 1-5:
exchanging objects and stories
nicknames you “Time Traveler” in his notes
Month 6
you find a script titled “The Boy in the Beret”
a play about a man who falls for a stranger’s words
final page: “Auditions: Tomorrow. 7 PM. Bring the teacup.”
Month 7
the shop’s annual “Nostalgia Night”
he wears the saxophone pin you gifted him
you arrive with his Gucci scarf
owner smiles: “Took you two long enough.”
DETAILS pt.2
Beret Code
wears a red beret on days he plans to leave you something
nod to his fashion
Secret Stash
hides cocoa in the shop’s fridge for you
labeled “For the Writer’s Block.”
Vinyl Clue
his “Winter Bear” vinyl has a scratched groove that plays “I purple you” when spun backward
ARMY Nod
leaves a BT21 Tata keychain with a note: 
“Found this alien. Think it’s yours.”
KEY DIALOGUE
When You Confront Him
“You think this is a game? I’ve been writing us into existence since day one.”
First Date
takes you to a silent film screening 
whispers: “Dialogue is overrated. Just feel it.”
Confession
“I collect vintage souls. But you… you’re timeless.”
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JUNGKOOK
Competitive Synergy, Digital to Real-Life Bond
HOW YOU MEET
online multiplayer game called Arena Legends
players worldwide compete in team-based strategy battles
Jungkook, a top-ranked player, goes by the alias GoldenJK
you’re a rising star known as Valkyrie
notorious for your unorthodox tactics
the game’s algorithm pairs you as rivals in ranked matches
your playstyles clash yet complement perfectly
aggression meets precision
game’s AI assigns you as Nemesis Partners
= rare status where rivals share exclusive challenges
each victory unlocks a personalized clue about the other player
Jungkook’s clues hint at his art
“A rabbit doodle in the killfeed”
yours tease your love for indie music
“A lyric snippet in the chat log”
DETAILS
His Gaming Traits
Aggressive yet strategic
dominates matches with bold moves
always protects teammates
leaves golden bunny emojis in the chat after wins
Your Gaming Traits
creative sabotage
use map glitches and unexpected combos
posts montages titled “How to Outsmart a Golden Bunny.”
secretly drop song lyrics as taunts: 
“You’re my favorite mistake.”
FIRST CONVERSATION
Where
Nemesis Partner chat room
unlocked after your 10th match
What He Says
“ValkyrieV. Your playstyle… it’s like watching abstract art. Chaotic. Beautiful.” 
sends a bunny emoji
“Why the lyric spam? You a BTS fan or just trying to distract me?” 
winks via emoji
His Thoughts
“She’s ruthless. But when she revives teammates? Soft. I need to know her IRL.”
HOW HE APPROACHES
Phase 1
creates a custom map titled “Rabbit Hole”
hidden ARMY references
final clue: “Find me where the sky is purple.”
= his favorite Seoul rooftop
Phase 2
sends you a mystery USB drive containing a game mod.
transforms his avatar into a golden knight
guarding a pixel-art version of your hometown
Phase 3
challenges you to an IRL match at a PC bang
shows up wearing a bunny hoodie
controller in hand: “No avatars. Just us.”
HOW YOU GET TOGETHER
Timeline
Week 1-4
toxic rivalry turns into respectful banter
screenshares his art mid-match
you play “Euphoria” over voice chat
Month 2
you team up for a charity tournament
his avatar sacrifices itself to save yours
“Why’d you do that?!” 
“Couldn’t let my nemesis die.”
Month 3
invites you to his studio
you find a painting of your ValkyrieV avatar
caption: “My Greatest Opponent. My Only Equal.”
DETAILS pt.2
Gamer Tag Easter Egg
username GoldenJK rearranges to “Jungkook Loves ARMY.” later
IRL Clues
wears a BT21 Cooky keychain during streams
you gift him a golden bunny sticker for his laptop
Secret Mod
codes a private server
your avatars dance to “Still With You” under pixelated stars
Post-Win Ritual
sends you banana milk deliveries with notes:
“For the victor. Next time, though…”
KEY DIALOGUE
During a Match
“You fight like you’ve got everything to lose. Why?” 
“Because I hate losing to rabbits.”
First IRL Meet
“You’re… shorter than your avatar.” 
“And you’re exactly as cocky as yours.”
Confession
“I used to play to win. Now I play to hear you laugh.”
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