ohhowjooniewept

[ohhowjooniewept]

neighbours, lovesick & infatuation.

jungkook x y/n

had you explained your current situation to anyone in your life, they would surely call you insane. they would ask you to move out or even call the police. they would question both your sanity and actions, muddle your feelings for illness whilst labelling you as crazy. instead, you sat and you stared. stared back at the man who lived in the apartment building opposite your own, who would sit quietly in his bedroom chair openly observing you.

you couldn’t tell anyone else, not really, because you too were at fault. you would sit, on your bed, sometimes pretending not to notice and other times giving him a show. a dance between two complete and utter strangers, not a single word discussed.

two individuals enamoured by one another. observing, with land, air and glass separating them; so why did he feel so familiar? why did your mind race at the thought of evening come, knowing your carefully planned routine would begin? brain hazy and eyes lidded, you’d come home to watch the tattooed boy across the street and he too, would do the same.

—————

being an office worker was the bane of your existence. despite feeling like a walking, misogynistic trope straight out of a film, it was unfortunately a truth to your life. you would wake up early, put on your makeup and pretty skirt, heels high and hair do only to be disregarded and dismissed with every opportunity.

you were better than everyone on that team. you knew it, they knew it - but being the only woman meant they weren’t willing to acknowledge it. you would work long hours, often overtime as your colleagues would shamelessly pile their documents on your desk, only to come home exhausted and upset.

that was the first time you saw him. the man across the street.

a day like every other, returning home with pained feet and tear streaked skin. they had been particularly rude to you, with you returning home two hours later than expected as they all went out to celebrate their new branch opening. you were quiet, to an unspeakable fault, but why did they have to take advantage of it? you wanted to be noticed, you wanted someone to see you for once beyond it all.

you entered your room, blinds drawn as quiet sniffles filled the silence. the only perk was the incredible pay, which allowed for such a beautiful apartment overlooking the city.

jungkook, across the road, was in a similar predicament. he, too, felt overworked and exhausted. with the recent merger at his company undergoing, his business had doubled overnight. suddenly, the weight and expectations of what felt like the world now rested upon his shoulders.

with an apartment that felt too cold to bare at times; he trudged to his room, sighing loudly as tattooed hands ran over his face. he didn’t know what he needed, simply knew that he needed it badly, finding himself perching on the seat that faced his window. the blinds were drawn and he exhaled again, eyes flickering over the skyline unimpressed before they fell onto something much more interesting. you.

his eyebrows furrowed. people usually kept their bedroom blinds closed, although he felt his brain contradict as he too sat before an open window. his brain silenced within seconds once his eyes set on your face.

you were crying, yes, but your lips were puffy. cheeks full and eyes screwed shut as you pulled pins out of your up do, heels scattered around the room and chest heaving. he watched you, almost comically, fall onto your bed whilst sniffling. he couldn’t hear you and yet he swore his heart was beating so loud that had he strained enough, he would hear small little whimpers. he couldn’t look away.

he was insane, he was genuinely insane. what was this sickening feeling gripping his brain? he felt like a pubescent boy looking at a woman for the first time, but these emotions were beyond him. the mere sight of you was overheating his body, and he was alarmed to say the least. he screwed his eyes shut before opening them again, but you remained in your position and as did he. he began loosening his tie, and before he could think any further, he began slowly unbuttoning his shirt.

after a few more minutes, you rose. slow puffs of air left you as you regained some composure, sniffling whilst wiping the black mascara from your cheeks. you looked a mess, a juxtaposition to the effort you put in every single morning.

you found yourself sauntering around your room, picking up a set of pyjamas and slowly readying yourself to have a shower. you picked up one heel, walking to the other which sat next to the window, raising your back to stand up straight with it in your hand when you finally saw.

jungkook.

he stood. watching. eyes wide, not in embarrassment of being caught, but an almost childlike curiosity. you flinched, slightly, in shock that someone was so openly watching you.

your first instinct was to cower, to shut the blinds and move away immediately. you, however, did not.

you found yourself stood there. unmoving. gaze connected to the doe eyed man, observing him as he observed you. it was odd, to be so open with a stranger. it fought against every moral and social understanding you both undoubtedly shared.

you roamed over every inch of him, lips parted and nose still sniffling. black, thick hair styled messily on his head - he had been running his hands through it, that much was clear to you considering the way it stuck at one side. his lips parted and bitten red, his nose scrunched slightly and his eyes. his eyes wide and curious, understanding and confused all at once.

jungkook stared at you, too, your appearance mimicking his. for a woman who had been crying so helplessly moments ago, he truly had been rooted to his spot at the mere sight of you. what was happening, what was he feeling and why was it gripping the ridges of his brain like a vice?

after what felt like eons of merely staring at each other, both unmoving, he made the first move. he had loosened his tie earlier and it now sat pooled at his feet. he moved, slowly unbuttoning his shirt further whilst staring at you.

it was then you noticed the look of exhaustion on his face, the way his chest heaved in what could only be a deep sigh. milky skin revealed to you as he perched, thighs resting wide and shoulders slouched, arms resting on the chair. your move, he wanted to say.

your insides were burning. was this really happening? a greek adonis with his shirt half opened, legs wide, slouched in his seat watching you?

your fingers fumbled with your own outfit, your silk blouse untucked from the tight pencil skirt and beginning to unbutton. jungkook watched as the material slowly fell from your body, his mouth watering and eyes narrowing.

your hair followed, the final pins releasing perfectly blown out hair that sat perched on your chest, reddened eyes sparkling as they modestly hid you away from his prying eyes. you laid on your bed that faced him, arms under your face, all pencil skirt and sheer tights.

you both spent hours looking at one another that night, not a single word spared, but a cocktail mix of tension, passion and comfort shared. a man you had never met, the stranger from across the street, your neighbour in the sister building to your own - why did he feel safe?

jungkook watched as you slowly fell into sleep, makeup still smeared on your face and your body still partially hidden away from his eyes. in the span of a single night, you had stolen something deep inside of him with no intention of its return. in a single night, you became his, but more importantly - he had become yours.

—————

this little scenario continued on for months, first happening every now and then before becoming frequent. now, you found yourself unable to sleep at night without your eyes locked on the bambi eyed man from across the street.

always scantily dressed, the two of you would perch after work, weekends, and holidays. he in his chair, you resting on your bed. you would wake up, and he would no longer be there, but the warmth between your legs would serve as a reminder of his presence.

you couldn’t tell anyone, not your friends nor the very few coworkers you enjoyed. no one would understand, no one would encourage such behaviour, they’d call you insane or a creep. they’d call him worse, you were sure but you didn’t care. he was yours, in a weird way. he belonged to you. you belonged to him too.

jungkook, too, was fairing no different. he found himself working harder at work; pushing himself to the point of exhaustion just so he would finish and come home at the same time as you. weeks of deduction had confirmed to him that you finished work, usually, at 8 - awfully late for an office job, but as a CEO, he often worked longer hours. his employees were in awe at how much work he took on, but none could be privy to the dirty secret as to why.

he would sit in his chair, trousers hung low on his waist with his tie and shirt discarded, hands running through his hair as he simply watched you. he yearned to know your name, what you sounded like, would you be comfortable cm’s apart from him or would you cower shyly the way you did at the beginning? he was enamoured.

for the first time in years, he felt genuine comfort. it was ridiculous and made no sense, to the extent in which he knew this would damage both his reputation and career had anyone found out. you were his little secret, and he yours - he couldn’t help wanting more.

you both had reached a fever pitch, you couldn’t return to what once was. you had each other now, and even though this was only the beginning, it was a fact understood between you that this could not end.

————

“enough. you’re always holed up in that apartment, you’re young and you’re sexy - it’s time you let the world see it too.” your friend, yejin, grumbled whilst pulling things out of your wardrobe.

you huffed, dressed in your pretty underwear and silk robe. the blinds were closed today. you couldn’t bring yourself to open them whilst you had company.

“i want to stay at home and relax. that fucking job stresses me out enough, i don’t want to get drunk and then spend sunday healing.”

she rolled her eyes. “too bad. you’re wearing this.”

you felt the dress fall onto your stomach, looking down at it with a sigh.

“seriously, y/n. i’m worried about you, okay?” yejin sighed, turning around to properly face you before sitting next to you on the bed. “they treat you horribly and then you hole up inside, you haven’t come out in months.”

“i’m fine.” you shook your head. how do you explain that your pretty neighbour from down the street ogles at you for hours and it relieves your body of every inch of stress? not quite as easy as one would think.

she groaned, loudly before grabbing your arms lovingly. “for me. please.”

she had such a way about her that you simply couldn’t say no. you match her groan before walking into your bathroom, getting ready just as she wished.

one hour of getting ready and another pregaming, you were finally ready to go. a few of your other friends were joining, all bouncing around your apartment with various drinks as you waited on your ubers.

you found yourself shimmying in, already slightly tipsy with giggles in a too short dress and heels that were much too high. you cramped against the window, letting the breeze hit you as you rest your head on the car door, the car beginning to move.

as the driver drove down your street, you noticed a car approaching on the opposite side of small driveway that separated the two apartment complexes. your brain was hazy as you watched sleek black metal slide by, your eyes peering to the driver.

your breath hitched.

eye contact, no longer than a few seconds but enough to cement a drumming in both your chest and between your legs. jungkook driving by slowly, his eyes trailing over your features up close, drinking every curve and ridge as though his life depended on it.

you couldn’t think, couldn’t speak, the moment passing by before you could really do anything, two cars going in opposite directions; but he was all you could think about. all you wanted. fuck.

the rest of the night was spent nursing drinks, dancing and resting, eyes shut and open wide, doing everything you could possibly do to rid the image of his lip ring. seeing it up close allowed it to catch the light, and you could have sworn he looked like every sin personified.

you felt stupid, as you stood at the bar whilst your friends danced. your back to them as you swirled your straw in your drink, your brain only growing hazier by the second with the thought of him. he had this effect on you, but did he even care? maybe you really were insane, acting so needy over a man whose name you had never even heard - a man who may potentially not want you the way you yearned for him.

shame trickled into your spine as realisation hit you like a truck, a bucket of ice trickling down every inch of you. what were you doing? you wanted to go home, you wanted to close the blinds. he didn’t want you. of course he didn’t, if he had; he would have found his way to you. hazy mind and dizzy brain, you turned around, mood suddenly sour, wanting nothing more than to just leave.

you faced a black shirt.

your eyebrows furrowed at the sight. broad chest and wide shoulders, clad in a black shirt messily tucked into trouser slacks. a suit that looked much too expensive for the club you were currently in, with hands caging you into the bar on either side. those tattoos, so familiar - they felt like home.

your breath hitched as you found yourself wetting your lips, shifting from foot to foot, slowly allowing your eyes to shift upwards. chest to neck. neck to jaw. jaw to lips. lips to doe eyes.

for a moment, silence.

jungkook exhaled deeply, his chest constructing against his shirt as he caged you closer to the bar, finding himself pushing you back into it with each and every step he took towards you. seeing you in that uber, for no more than a few seconds, had drove him insane. he found his brain short circuiting, his mouth parted and his cock thrumming. his, pretty girl, all dressed up before his very eyes.

your friends in the uber were chatting loudly, and he had heard momentarily the end of a sentence, something to do with flonk, a word jungkook registered as the name of hobi’s new club. he had been begging him to come check it out for weeks now, but how could he give up a night of you in the name of too loud music and drinks? though you did not share the same sentiments, he couldn’t help but turn the car around and finally take his close friend on the offer.

he had watched you, like he was accustomed to, from the privacy of his private table alongside his 6 friends. they sat upstairs, overseeing the club, though his eyes remained on you. unable to join conversation, he watched as you danced, lips parted and hands around your various friends. you seemed dazed, mind far away and confused. you needed home, he understood. you needed him, dark eyes staring you down and giving you the comfort you so desperately craved in order to relax.

he watched as you separated from your group, turned towards the bar. he watched as your eyebrows furrowed and a look of shame washed over you and it chilled him to the bone. he found his feet walking towards you, and his hands reaching towards the metal surrounding your body before he could stop himself. he had enough of watching. it was time to act.

you stared up at him, mouth slightly agape and breath hitching. he found himself stepping even closer, your bodies beginning to press against one another.

“fuck.” he whispered, so quietly he wasn’t sure he had even said it. you heard.

the haziness grew stronger, your eyes drooping in a sense of comfort but your body contorting in pure fire. you could feel him against you, your heart beating loudly and your core pulsating.

“you were just gonna leave me, baby?” he found himself asking, his head pressing against yours. “would have waited for you. would have waited all night.”

you found yourself whimpering, almost pathetically as you pressed further into him, your hands sliding to his chest.

“w-wanted to come home.” you closed your eyes.

“yeah? come home to me? can’t sleep without me, hm?”

his words were sin. you didn’t even know each other’s names but you were both enamoured. breathing each other in as though you were parched and finally sipping water. his arms moved from the bar to around your waist, pulling you in until you were now fully pressed entirely into him.

he nudged your nose with his own. “what are you doing to me?”

you opened your eyes, breaths mingling from how close you were. what was he doing to you?

“my head…i can’t think.” you whined, so overwhelmed with hands slowly trailing upwards. you wanted to run your hands through his hair.

he was here, finally here and you couldn’t stop yourself.

jungkook groaned once one of your delicate fingers finally sought refuge in his head, his mouth slowly trailing downwards to your neck. he began placing pepper kisses, slight and airy as though he was hardly there, breathing in your scent like you were his personal brand of heroin.

“don’t need to think, baby. i’m here.” he promised.

you nodded. you didn’t want to.

you both remained clutched onto one another, too close to be deemed strangers and yet, really, that was what you were.

the slick between your legs was growing with every second, slow whines leaving your lips as jungkook pressed kisses on your neck. harsher with each kiss, a promise etched into each one.

he was no better. he had already fisted his cock to the thought of you this morning, and now with the tangible feeling of you in his arms, his body pulsated without warning.

“i don’t even know your name.” you exhaled, half moan, half sigh.

“jungkook.” he whispered against your neck through kisses, seeking your sweet spot. “what’s your name, baby?”

“y/n.”

he closed his eyes, groaning quietly. “even your name tastes sweet.”

had you known his voice sounded like this, or his touch, or his mouth - god, you wouldn’t have stayed away. you would have broke glass, and closed the distance in any way possible. how could you ever get enough.

you gripped his hair slightly, pushing him up enough to look at you. “i w-want you.” you admitted, suddenly riddled with the remaining anxiety from earlier.

“i was yours from that first night, y/n.” he stared, fingers raising your chin. “my brain doesn’t fucking work unless it’s occupied with you, can’t work, can’t sleep. can’t rest till i see you sleeping nice and safe.”

his words left you a whimpering mess. he wanted you just as much as you wanted him, and that was a sickening revelation. were you both as insane as each other? enabling the no doubt disturbing nature of your relationship?

“you make me feel so good, jungkook.” you murmured, brain hazy with want. “make me feel safe.”

“good baby. that’s what i want. you’re mine, and i’m yours. gonna make sure you feel like that, always.”

“please.” you nodded.

he lifted your chin again, unable to stop himself. he wanted to devour you whole. he wanted to transfer the electrify that was burning through his veins to show you the true extent of his words. his brain felt lovesick, and the more you watched one another, the more he never wanted to get better. your eyes drooped, falling onto his mouth, him mirroring you. with hitched breaths and shaking hands, he finally pressed his lips to yours.

[ohhowjooniewept]

tension, brothers best friend

jungkook x y/n

he wasn’t yours, he could never be and yet it stifled you to see what effect he had on you. if only you knew that your heart had already belonged to him, lodged in a tight grip.

——————

sweaty bodies and the stench of cheap alcohol littered in the air, bodies pressed into one another. why you were here, goodness knew, but your eyes were trailing over the figure quietly mixing drinks. head down low and fingers moving skilfully. you’d recognise the tension in his shoulders from a mile away, his shadow a constant reminder of the thump behind your eyes. for someone so inconspicuous, it was clear this environment welcomed him.

“i’m going to see some friends, okay?” your older brother murmured over to you, breaking you out of your trance. you looked away from the figure in the kitchen, instead peering upwards. “try to mingle, put yourself out there y/n. please.” he grinned, all too wide and all too knowing with a ruffle of your head

you weren’t a child, you wish he would understand. it was by choice that you didn’t enter these parties. you wish he understood he was only older by two years, that you too faced the height of your early twenties alongside him as opposed to beneath him.

“i’m not a dog.” you grumbled, pushing him away to which he laughed, already turning towards his group of friends which were in the direction of the boy from earlier.

he wasn’t there anymore, although your heart continued to thrum loudly in your chest. you knew who he was, of course you did. his presence had always quietly roamed your mind, your heart, your very fucking soul. jungkook, your older brother’s quiet friend. the same friend that would stare so deeply into your eyes, you were sure he had seen something you had already desperately locked away.

you found your feet walking towards the drinks, where he had once stood, fingers ghosting over the same bottles. you could never have him, this much you knew - but the warmth in your head matched that of the warmth between your thighs, all encompassing.

if only you had noticed him, watching you. sipping, silently, as your brother bellowed and whooped behind him. turn around, he wanted to whisper. look at me, he wanted to beg. dance with me, he wanted to scream.

———

it didn’t take long for jungkook to feel that horrible feeling of pure intensity that often pooled in his stomach, and lower, at the mere sight of you. it took even less time for it to be replaced by a green monster, gripping his throat and chest like a vice as he watched men approach you, in hopes of gaining your attention.

you weren’t his, that would be the correct thing to say. but he was lovesick, he had been infiltrated by the scent of your shampoo and glossy eyes since over a decade ago, and though you had shared no more than a dozen hello’s in that time, he was enamoured. his girl. his. all his.

your brother was drunk, and though jungkook adored him, he couldn’t help but feel annoyed by his presence. he knew you would never voluntarily attend a party like this, too sweaty and much too busy for anyone to really enjoy themselves. why would he convince you to come only to abandon you? that sounded like him.

he watched as the man in front of you began stepping closer to you, whilst your lips pursed. you weren’t interested, but it did little to soothe the ache in his chest. the boys next to him were getting rowdier, the alcohol doing its job in exciting them whilst jungkook stood against the wall, drink in hand.

he watched as the man reached for you, his hand gripping your hip to which you pushed against his chest, eyebrows furrowed and mouth turned downwards. jungkook’s brain stopped working for a moment, finding himself moving before he could even think, his feet taking him to you.

you noticed him immediately, taller than the boy in front and much wider. you couldn’t help the droop in your eyes, nor the exhale that left you. relief, or thrill? the mere sight of him drove you insane.

“you shouldn’t touch what doesn’t belong to you.” jungkook murmured, once the guy turned around. big eyes darkened and body tensing, a display of anger that would frighten anyone.

“o-oh..jungkook?” he stuttered. “my bad, bro, d-didn’t know she was yours.”

you both watched as he rushed away, your heart lurching violently at his response. yours. yours. yours. what did he mean? how could he say such a thing? come back, you wanted to scream, explain what you mean. give me the answer you can’t bring yourself to ask.

it wasn’t that jungkook was overtly terrifying, but the boy hardly spoke to anyone that wasn’t in his immediate circle. he was always brooding, eyes dark and face blank - it unnerved people. that enough was a deterrent, and for that, he was thankful.

you looked back at him, finally, to find him already staring.

one step. two. three. he stood in front of you, not touching, but bodies too close to be deemed anything other than inappropriate. he had never seen you so close, though he had dreamt it, wished for it. when he would close his eyes and fist his cock, it was you he would think of, mouth parted and large orbs staring.

his hands reached out, hovering over your hips where the other man had previously touched you. he knew, to place them there, to touch you, would be enough to drive him insane.

you lifted your own hands, eyes never leaving his, shaking as they hovered over his own before pushing them. placing them on your hips. you both exhaled.

“you shouldn’t be here.” he murmured.

“yes. well, i am.” you replied, hands over his whilst his grip tightened.

“maybe i should take you home.”

you tried your hardest to remember to breathe. he had only ever really said hello to you, and now you were face to face, breath mingling, bodies touching.

“why?” you pushed.

“because. more of them will come. they like pretty girls.” he found himself gritting out. you noticed a twitch in his cheek, a break in his usually blank facade.

you exhaled again, hands shaking on top of his own. “you think i’m pretty?” you whispered.

“you don’t want to know what i think, y/n.” he breathed, his eyes suddenly scrunching. he had only had a sip of alcohol, nothing more, but he felt alive.

you shook your head. “tell me.” you begged.

“i’ll take you home.”

“no.” you shook your head. “you don’t like them speaking to me?”

jungkook found himself pushing forwards. he was thankful the party was so busy, your brother and his friends completely oblivious to the quiet tension fiercely burning in the corner of the room between you both. he looked at you, lips pursing before shaking his head in a no.

“but girls speak to you.” you found yourself gritting out.

“i don’t let them. never.” he denied instantly, shaking his head. the thought insulted him. they weren’t you.

oh. oh.

“me? i’m a girl…” your voice was getting quieter and quieter, perhaps subconsciously. it made him dip his head closer.

“my girl.” he whispered back at you.

your breath hitched, eyes peering upwards and fingers shifting. they found home on the expanse of his chest, to which you could feel the thumping of his heart beneath your palms.

“but..but we can’t.” you weakly protested. you both knew it was a terrible argument. jungkook loved your brother, and despite his infatuation with you being founded within mere polite exchanges, he would choose you a million times.

“i’m taking you home.” he simply replied, hands pushing your hips closer to him. your chests touched, your hands cradled between you both.

“only…” you started, licking your lips. “only if you stay.”

he simply closed his eyes, exhaling deeply as his forehead pressed against yours. it was akin to finally allowing himself a piece of heaven that once sat within distance but too far away to reach out to. you were here. he could feel you, so intimately. you. you. you. you. you. you.

“i won’t leave.” his eyes opened, gaze burning.

you nodded up at him, moving against his own head to which he finally found his lips quirking upwards, just slightly. only for you. his girl.

[ohhowjooniewept]

hi, i’m azha. my brain hurts from thinking all of the time and i just want to blurt on a page, i made this account like 20 minutes ago and i don’t really know how to use tumblr outside of reblogging fics - but i guess this is my new diary

i like writing about obsession, infatuation and just pure unrivalled love. i love the thought of two people being so obsessed with one another that it hardly makes sense, to the point where it feels sick and confusing.

i like the idea that y/n and __ are the same people no matter the scenario - it’s a multiverse of obsession that i’m dedicated to, they find their way to one another every single time regardless of how their stories are written, isn’t that so sweet?

[ohhowjooniewept]

angst. hurt/comfort. sweet ending.

jungkook & y/n.

jungkook sat, quietly, at the coffee shop behind his local tattoo parlour. shoulder hurting, and eyes hazy from the pain he had just been in, his mind continuing to rumble on and on and on and on. he was impulsive, this he knew, but he needed to forget, to busy his brain for a moment or two so he could escape. escape the thought of you.

you were never really together, he knew that. two people committed through their bodies but never their souls, his heart belonged to you and his to him and yet neither of you ever spoke up, fearing a rejection you both knew would realistically never come. it was stupid, entirely. he had just endured hours of needles prickling his skin with ink to mask the longing pain he felt for you and yet as it began to dull, the original torment remained.

he was with you, three days ago, after being tangled in your sheets. you had asked the question, bravely, and he hid cowardly. you finally put a stop to the dance you both sought no joy in, a question that benefited you both and yet like an idiot, he did nothing. said nothing.

“what am i to you, kook?” you had asked, hair falling in your face, slowly tucked behind your ear with eyes that shimmered in quiet longing. sheets pooled around your waist, body bare.

he hadn’t answered. you are everything, he wanted to say. you are both moon and star, both grass and sky, and yet he had stared into your eyes with the same longing only to close them in cowardly fear.

“i’m sorry.” he had whispered to you after too long of a silence.

you had turned away from him at this point, naked skin now hidden away under the covers with your face facing the window of your bedroom.

“i know what you want.” you had replied with. “i know it, and so do you. it means nothing if you don’t say it, though. it means nothing if you don’t open your own mouth.” you whispered.

you were right.

he had left, chest heaving and gape open within his very fucking soul because you were right. the impact of finally being told, too delicately; that the dance was finally coming to a close should have allowed him to rejoice. instead, he ran away.

jungkook now sat at the coffee shop, heart beating and head down low. a drink sat before him, growing colder by the second, whilst his brain thumped. you. you. you.

he didn’t know how to speak, he wasn’t one with words. how could he convey how much you were worth to him when he knew he wasn’t worthy of one moment of your time? insecurity ran deep within his stomach and he feared the day it would be discovered.

he didn’t know how long he had sat there, eyes unmoving and shoulder burning. he didn’t when he had began walking, 25 minutes exactly headed north. his brain hardly registered where he was going until his knuckles rapped against the dark oak of your front door, eyes hazy and brain dizzy.

only when he heard a shuffle, and the door open did he truly understand.

you didn’t say anything as you looked up at him, eyes soft and hurt. you simply stared.

“i’m not enough.” he whispered, after an air of somber.

“i don’t recall asking you to be.”

“i know.” he nodded, hands shaking. just looking at you was numbing his brain of the pain from earlier, how was it that your mere presence was medicinal? “but i’m going to be. enough, that is.”

your eyebrows furrowed, looking up at him. you knew he would return, that much was a given, despite how much it hurt momentarily. but this? this, you weren’t expecting.

“what are you saying, kook?” it was your turn to whisper now.

“i..” he began, running his hand through his hair before wincing, his shoulder protesting. he watched your eyebrows furrow, confused for a moment at the flinch. “i’m going to be enough for you. i’m going to be what you need and what you want.”

your feet began to shuffle, fuzzy socks with cute little strawberries. his eyes softened even further, if only you knew the extent of his obsession for you.

“you already are.”

he took a step towards you, his hands slowly reaching for your own. you let him.

“baby. look at me.” he whispered, nose reaching your own as the space between you became limited.

your eyes peered up, a small glisten of moisture forming.

“i don’t want to dance around this anymore. i’m yours. i want to be yours, so fucking badly and it terrifies me.” he admits, voice gentle despite the evident fear. “i’m so scared that you’ll wake up and change your mind, but i know it will be you and it will always be you.”

your eyes slowly shut, hands beging to quake whilst your bodies began to press against one another in the doorway, small tears finding their way down your face.

“you promise?” you asked.

“always.”