#pinocchio i think deserves a lot

[tomwaterbabies]

everyone saying the book of life did it first and that coco is a rip off literally owes me money im so serious why cant you people be happy about mexican culture being in more than one movie without thinking Day Of The Dead and Music are all there is to see. would u do this with new christmas movies? i think not

Coco vs The Book of Life

Batalla del Día de los Muertos!

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Watch the trailers:

[weaselbeaselpants]

Abbreviated Film list of "Disturbing Animated films"

--CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR LATER FILMS: nudity, SA, CSA, violence, fetuses, child mortality, racial violence and hate-crimes, misogyny, gore and blood, body horror, war crimes, animal ab*se, poop eating, elder ab*se, s3lf harm, inc3st --

Because commenting was taking to long on Reddit, here's my complete list of the Version 3. iceberg chart I made for 'disturbing animated feature (40-60 min) films. --No shorts, tv or mini series-- Films/franchise titles are in italics as in the actual chart. Horror (or what I personally deem as horror for whatever reason) are highlighted in red, non-horror are left white. Movies that 'aren't fully' or 'aren't really' animation are marked in blue.

An entire creator/studio's work being condensed into a single ranking on the chart for convenience are marked with yellow, THO films in these catalogues that deserved their own ranking elsewhere on the chart mean that next to the studio/creator's name is a '*'. My personal condensed reviewratings are marked in this post with a "bad", "mid", "good", "great!" or "FAVORITE" rating at the end.

Let's get right into it:

Disney (any Walt Disney Studios and Disney Toons studios feature films) and Pixar. My FAVORITEs are Beauty and the Beast, Fantasia, Great Mouse Detective, Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc personally. For all the horror the donkey-changing scene in Pinocchio struck us with it alone does not make it a horror film) Image Movers (Polar Express, Beowulf Mars needs Moms and Christmas Carol 2009.) *Nickelodeon movies (Jimmy Neutron, Barnyard, The Rugrats and Spongebob movies obv. Exception listed below is Rango) *Cartoon Saloon. (Irish 2D animation studio. My FAVORITEs of theirs are Wolfwalkers and Song of the Sea. Exception listed is The Breadwinner in the reblogs) Bluesky (Nimona, Ice Age, Robots) Aardman. Chicken Run which is a FAVORITE, Wallace and Gromit) Illumination (Minions and Sing) and Dreamworks (Ogrelord and Dreamworks Face) Sony (Spiderverse, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs) **Studio Ghibli (exceptions listed are Princess Mononoke and Grave of the Fireflies in the reblogs) Soyuzmotefilm. Artsy Russian animation studio (The Snow Queen, The Humpbacked Horse). Prolific handrawn movies that inspired Miyazaki. Rankin/Bass, aka the makers of Rudolph and Frostie and the other staples of 60s-70s holiday programming. Don Bluth (specifically his older work like All Dogs go to Heaven, Land Before Time and Secret of NIMH. I know the man is iconic in the 90s childhood trauma scene but I had to make space and it was easier to put all of his work together like this) Momoru Hosada (director of Boy and the Beast, Mirai, The Girl who Leapt through Time, Wolfchildren, Belle, Summerwars) The Pokemon films The Casper films The Hotel Transylvania films The Monster High films *The Scooby Doo films (exception listed being Scooby Doo on Zombie Island, considering it's infamy) [not properly highlighted in the image] The Unico films. The Howard Lovecraft films. Garbage but are MY garbage.

Standalone films:

Pinocchio and the Emperor of the Night and Happily Ever After. Mid. Filmation movies made in the 80s to capitalize on Disney film rereleases and act as unofficial sequels. They get kind of dark at parts, especially Pinocchio.

The Last Unicorn. Great! Absolute classic. It is for kids but mature kids and despite that rating there are harpy titties.

Comet Quest/Adventures of Mark Twain. Great! Everyone else on the internet will know this as being the Will Vinton film from which "The scariest scene in animation"/"Mysterious Stranger" scene comes from.

James and the Giant Peach. FAVORITE. Love this movie though I didn't as a little kid on account of thinking it looked freaky. Lots of 80s-90s kids movies are like that so up it goes. While it and Comet Quest were never intended to truly scare anybody they are visually intense movies for little kids and children/people who don't know what to make of em. I get it, considering that's how I feel about 80s fantasy puppet movies.

Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure. Mid. Richard Williams animation is wonderful and Andy and Anne are adorbs, but also intense and frightening to young children. Gooseworx loves it tho.

A Mouse and his Child. Good. Sweet but intense animated film about a father/son windup toy. Apparently it's based on a story that's not for kids??? Shown alongside 'Ringing Bell' mentioned below.

The Brave Little Toaster. Great! Childhood fav, but still very intense and almost needlessly cruel at time.

The Transformers Movie. Good. As a non fan of the franchise it is shocking seeing these made-for-little boy's amusement characters die so horrifically.

Leafie, a Hen into the Wild. Good. Intense and sad 2011 family movie from South Korea. It's grim and has a bummer ending, but not the extent of the movies in the tier under the iceberg I don't think.

The King and the Mockingbird. Great! One of the mandatory viewings of 2D animation. IT'S SO GOOD, but the fluidity might offput some people ala JatGP or RaAAMA.

Ringing Bell. Great! Sanrio (yes THAT Sanrio) animated film about a baby sheep who looses his mother than goes to get revenge on the wolf who killed her. Very sad. Very beuatiful. Technically only 40 minutes but damn.

The Iron Giant. Great! As a kid the moments with the bomb at the end, agent Mansly and even the moment where Hogarth first meets the Giant were pretty scary.

-Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Great! Technically only half animated but it was wrong not to include it mostly for the sake of Judge Do-"WHEN I KILLED YOUR BROTHER?! I TALKED JUST LIKE THIIIIIIIIS!!!"

Fantastic Mr. Fox. Great! Met some people and families who were disturbed by the style of the Wes Anderson film. Another case of "people are scared of stop-motion and so find anything other than Aardman freaky".

Kubo and the Two Strings. Great! One of the best Laika films. Not horror but does get horrific with Kubo's grandfather and Aunties.

Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart. Mid. A steampunk gothic kids??? (lots of sex references; maybe in France it's made for teens and adults) film about a boy who can never fall in love or his clock heart will give out. It's sad and the style may upset people.

Rango. FAVORITE! Trippy lil older teen movie especially with it's style. I don't know how much bits like the dream sequence or Rattlesnake Jake scared kids but they probably did.

Yellow Submarine. Great! Despite not actually being a film for kids a lot of kids can watch it and have and find the psychedelic designs and art creepy.

Nutcracker Fantasy. Great! See Benett the Sage's video on it and the hidden Japanese history of Rankin/Bass.

Marcel the Shell with Shoes On. Great! Another part-animated film but one which is beautiful, sweet and solemn. Not a movie made for kids but one that they could watch and cry with their hipster parents over.

Mad Monster Party. Good. Rankin/Bass Halloween film made with MAD Magazine. Commonly expected monster-puns but also a lot more references to sex, drinking and death in this flick than you'd expect of Rankin/Bass. It slaps.

The Nightmare Before Christmas. FAVORITE! Prolly favorite film ever. I'm still so shocked by people who say the visuals alone make it not a kids film. It is for kids. Kids like dark stuff.

Frankenweenie. Mid but also FAVORITE! I stan despite it's problematicisms (coughcoughToshiakicough) but I still think it's better than Corpse Bride. The grizzliest thing is the method in which some of the monster-pets die.

Corpse Bride. Good. Even as a kid this movie never scared me besides Victor's initial meeting of Emily.

The Book of Life. Mid. I WANT TO LIKE IT MORE! George's Day of the Dead film with some more dashes of death-talk and frights than Coco. George is GOAT and I just wanna like his work more but can't and I hate it.

La Petite Vampire. Mid. ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE if not flawed film based on a French webseries. Cutsey monster-goodness with monster-appropriate references to death and afterlife.

The Halloween Tree. It's over an hour so it counts as a movie. As expected for a Ray Bradbury story about Halloween it has some frights to it.

Igor. Mid. Not that bad. I guess if lesser-grade CGI is 'disturbing' to you somehow it might freak kids out.

Zombrilenium. Bad. Wanted to like this french film more but it's really not very good.

Scooby Doo on Zombie Island. Good. The OG 'Scooby Doo but darker' flick. Good children's horror fun.

Osmosis Jones. Good. It's a gross out buddy comedy with genuine horror happening to the anthro-cels. With or without Thrax it's pretty horrifying at parts. Had to go somewhere in this tier for sure.

Ana y Bruno. Mid. A Mexican animated film with a twist I think everyone but me saw coming. Feels very Bluesky-ish despite being about a child who can see other people's hallucinations.

Alice. Great! A mandatory viewing especially for stop-motion fans. In the words of Kyle Kallgreen, what makes this film so unsettling is that it wasn't just made for art; it was legit made for children and not intended as a horror film. Svankmajer made this movie for kids. Tho I do unironically find it less scary than the 55' Disney film.

Paranorman. Good but not my fav. The bit with Agatha and the zombies (even if it's played for laughs) are pretty creepy and also the harassment Norman gets may be disturbing.

Coraline. FAVORITE! "SHE'S A PEACH, SHE'S A DOLL, SHE'S A PAL OF MINE!" Neil Gaiman's crimes will never take this brilliance away from me.

Monster House. Good. Noice solid children's-horror flick which also has no fatalities say for the villain but still manages to be scary. The best ImageMovers film.

Wendell and Wild. Mid. Flawed and badly paced but y'know still about demons, death, possession and prison abuse of the system and made by Selick and Jordan Peele so really how could this not go on here.

Tito and the Birds. Mid. Found it's overall story an execution of said story lacking but the build up and dread the film has does feel appropriate.

Guillermo Del Toro's Pinocchio. Great! LOVED IT. A movie made for people that kids can watch and not be too disturbed by but still- with or without Del Toro, it IS Pinocchio and a lot of the things that happens in it are messed up.

-The Dark Crystal. Good. Not technically an animated film but I had to mention because there aren't any humans on screen. Messed up, mythological and grim like Oz and Henson wanted. Is there anything to be said that hasn't been said already? Dark is literally in the title.

[utopia-and-broken-cynics]

So. Since you've properly read Pinocchio now. What are your thoughts on how the book was adapted into Cedar and her dad in EAH

I need everyone to look me dead in my eyes, okay? I love Ever After High. I love Pinocchio. 

No matter what I say later, you have to remember I love Ever After High, okay? Got that? Good. 

That being said, Pinocchio and Cedar in EAH don’t really seem to be based on the book, as much as the Disney movie (I know, I know, booo and all that), in the way that most modern adaptations of Pinocchio are based on the Disney movie. Cultural phenomena and all that.

I would like to break down some points of Pinocchio, link them back to Ever After High, and then explain what this means to me later. Okay? Let’s go!

[Please note that I make points in the order they came to me and NOT in the order of how they reference each other. This isn’t a professional essay, and nobody is allowed to grade me. Also, this is purely from memory, so if I’m wrong, I’m wrong.]

What it means to be good (obedience, honesty, school/hard work)

The story of Pinocchio deals a lot with what it means to be good, a concept that does mostly carry over. Usually, good means honest, right?

Being good in the book means a lot of things. Pinocchio is often scolded and punished for being lazy, for being disobedient, and, yes, for being dishonest. He’s a complainer, he’s greedy, he wants to get rich fast without doing any of the work, and he loathes the idea of going to school. Classic little kid things, really.

School is the biggest one. As soon as Pinocchio is up and moving (and, y’know, after Geppetto gets out of prison— long story—), he is told he has to go to school. And he immediately, and I do mean immediately, skips. He sells his school book to go to a puppet show.

Later in the book, the reason the Blue Fairy plans to make Pinocchio human is because he did well and was diligent in school for a good part of the year.

Hard work is also a big one. After Pinocchio and Romeo get turned into donkeys, Pinocchio is sold to the circus, and is forced to do tricks and stuff to earn his food.

In the very end, to show he is good, and ultimately deserving of being real, he does hard work to earn money for his ailing father, and the Blue Fairy once he becomes aware of her being in a poor state. He grows from being an undeniably bad child, to being a good one.

Pinocchio lies to get out of trouble, more often than not. He lies to the Blue Fairy about being sick, about what happened with the Fox and Cat to get him hung from a tree, and about skipping school. 

And eventually, he just. Stops. He must have figured it was more harm than it was worth.

Blue Fairy

The Blue Fairy is a pretty big part of the book, something not reflected in EAH.

She starts off in a little sister role, getting Pinocchio brought down from where he’s been hung from a tree. Then he gets out of jail (long story) and finds out she is dead.

Then she comes back, transitioning into a mother role as Geppetto has had an… unfortunate accident at sea. The Blue Fairy is a fairly forgiving figure in Pinocchio’s life, giving him numerous opportunities to prove he is good, and that he is worthy of being human.

The Blue Fairy is so so so patient with Pinocchio, and sometimes he doesn’t deserve it. And I love her for it.

All that being said, Farrah should have been way more important and involved in Cedar’s life, ESPECIALLY since Cedar has already lost a Blue Fairy.

 Do you think I forgot?! Hell no! Did y’all forget that Cedar’s Blue Fairy went poof?

Considering how important the Blue Fairy is to Pinocchio (how they live together for a good while before the Donkey-ing, how quickly he mourns her), there is no doubt in my mind that Cedar’s Blue Fairy was very important to her.

We don’t know how she felt about the poofing, and we don’t know how their interactions went pre-poofing.

But this is about Farrah.

If Farrah is truly gonna take on the Blue Fairy role, they would have to do more than just say it. Let them hang out in the background, let them talk a couple of times.

I just think they should have been more of a Thing, y’know? The Blue Fairy is too important to the story for Farrah taking over to not be a Certified Big Deal.

Danger

According to my partner @the-lavender-creator and my good buddy @rarepairqueenmochi, the fox and the cat that appear in Darling’s horse’s tragic backstory would hang a child if it made them money. I would like to believe that it’s a point towards the fox and cat being very similar to their book counterparts.

Which means that maybe all the other super dangerous stuff that happens in Pinocchio could also happen in the Ever After High Universe. For example, Pinocchio almost gets battered and pan-fried at some point, could that happen in EAH?

What about the hanging? What about when the Black cat tries to stab Pinocchio? When he spends a little time drowning as a donkey?

I don’t know, and you don’t either. Moving on.

Pinocchio as a Character

Pinocchio starts off the story as a sort of gullible miscreant. He gets warned by numerous characters that “if you do this, things will go wrong” and he does it in spite of them. For goodness sake, he kills the Talking Cricket with a hammer because the cricket calls him an idiot for thinking he can lounge around and have fun all day. (The cricket kinda deserved it, tbf. Don’t call him an idiot. That’s a kid.)

Pinocchio is also (sort of) a sweet boy. He wants to do the right thing, but he also wants to do the easy thing, the fun thing. 

Why go straight home to his father with five gold coins and go to school the next day like a good boy, when he can go with these two people he just met and make way more money really easily?

Why go home to the Blue Fairy when Romeo’s promising him endless fun?

What you have to remember is that during the story, Pinocchio is (to my knowledge) between the ages of 6 to 10, and it shows.

We don’t know a lot about Pinocchio in EAH, unfortunately. We know he was friends with King Charming and Goldilocks in high school, and that he’s notably a wooden boy still.

I don’t think teenagers can really go through the plot of Pinocchio (not saying that teenagers can’t make the decisions he does, just that they are older, more informed, and likely more cautious. It takes more effort to get a teenager to bury money in the hope that it’ll grow a tree, for example.), but that’s just me.

Cedar as Pinocchio

Cedar is not a gullible miscreant. Cedar loves her father too much to sentence him to two years in a stomach.

Cedar Wood wants more than ever to be human, and able to lie. I love her so much; she would never recover from going through book Pinocchio’s shenanigans. If we assume that the Legacy system will go through the same beats and lessons, despite prior personality and values, then she’s, quite frankly, fucked.

Cedar doesn’t need to learn the lessons book Pinocchio, or even Disney Pinocchio needed to learn, about honesty, hard work, and accountability.

Maybe she can learn about the divide between wisdom and age, which would lend itself well to the whole Rebel cause that Cedar aligns herself with. Being that she’s willing to call out Milton Grimm for lying, though, she probably doesn’t need to learn that one either.

—

Okay, now that I’ve gotten all of that out of my system, let’s talk about what that all means.

Nothing, really.

Ever After High, for better or worse, doesn’t dig into the fairytale theme as much as it could. This means that we never get a full picture of the exact version of the story most characters are being prodded towards. They mention that the stories have changed over time, but how.

Cedar and the story of Pinocchio are no exceptions. Many of the details can be inferred, but many are just hopeful guesses on my part. 

However, while trying to tell a story about Legacy, they could have utilized elements of the story to add a little specificity to the nuances of Cedar advocating for choice.

It would make sense, given how the story of Pinocchio goes, that she wouldn’t want to go through with it, but she has to to get to the ending. The happy ending probably cancels out all the stuff she has to go through in everyone’s eyes, but it doesn’t to me.

Cedar will make choices that go directly against her personality, against her and her father’s wellbeings, and she will have to be okay with that when she becomes human. How does that make her feel as she heads towards her story? How does that make her feel as her friends choose not to follow their destinies? Does she decide to change how the story goes?

TLDR; it was adapted fine. I personally wish we had more Pinocchio themes and aspects referenced and mentioned by Cedar and her father, but considering how little Cedar is the main focus/a major character, I probably shouldn’t be picky. I’m just happy she was on screen/on the page.

[sepublic]

            It’s interesting that S1 is the most conventional in terms of kids’ show formats and lessons, especially given the confirmation that it suffered the most executive meddling (not counting Seasons 2 and 3 dealing with the shortening). S1 is primarily where Luz, as well as King, learn the standard, typical Aesops of ‘Be nice and think of others, don’t be selfish’, that sort of thing. It’s where a humbled Luz is most reminded that she’s not the Main Character, and must be mindful of the people around her… A necessary lesson, keep in mind.

         However, there’s still an undercurrent of her asking and sometimes even demanding things, things she wants and needs and deserves, and Luz gets it! Eda enrolls Luz at Hexside because Luz wants to! Bump lets Luz do multi-track learning after she and the others insist! And that comes to fruition in the rest of the show, as the ideal Luz should accept for herself… Even as the events and trauma of S1 leave Luz with the takeaway that, no, she IS a bad person who is selfish and has hurt others in her narrow-minded pursuits, and must actively atone and cease being a burden.

         I think it’s neat; The first season, the ‘safest’ one, as influenced by Disney, is the one that espouses to Luz to ‘Be a good kid’. But the rest of the show afterwards, more true to Dana’s vision, is Luz encountering the downsides of devoting herself too deeply to that idea, with little to no forgiveness for herself; We see and know the merits of that typical lesson, but it also gets a bit deconstructed as TOH argues it’s just as important, if not moreso, for Luz to take care of herself too, give herself some credit, etc.

         This ‘second phase’ of the show is when Luz really begins to face off with Belos, who is an actual, literal puritan motivated by their ideology. And as I’ve discussed in the past, puritan ideology presumes humanity as existing in a natural state of guilt (which coincides with the Guilty until proven Innocent nature of the witch trials), due to the first sin. As a result, just about anything engaging in pleasure or fun is seen as hedonistic and ‘sinful’, and puritans are expected to constantly atone for their existence by devoting themselves to a higher cause, God and the collective.

         It tracks that the puritan mindset has had its legacy in real life, with a lot of conventional kids’ media reminding their audience not to be a brat; Kids are expected to obey rules, trust in the wisdom of their elders, etc. Stories like Pinocchio come to mind, with Guillermo Del Toro even criticizing it for seeking to ‘tame the child’s spirit’, hence his own version of the tale deconstructing the original by being a defiance to conformity.

         So it’s rather meta that TOH starts off with that surface-level quest to be a responsible child for Luz, in its first season (the executive one, the introductory ‘testing the waters’ season where each episode is about an Aesop). But there’s that undercurrent of Luz being rewarded for thinking about herself; So when the show really begins to dig deeper in Season 2 -being more apparent with its more mature storylines and tone, and less bound by corporate mandates to stick to the regular episodic formula- TOH’s true nature begins to reveal itself.

         Dana did explain that S2 was truer to her vision, and especially in light of the shortening, she outright admitted that the crew went for a more “Screw it, let’s just do what we want” route with TOH, and you can really tell. Dare I say, a more disobedient approach, as a contrast to S1 being more corporate, and on the surface about being the Responsible Child. I find it neat how the writers made Disney’s mandates work (such as Hexside for example), giving us the surface of that conventional story about a child learning to behave herself, only to say But there’s much more to her actualization than that.

         The narrative begins peeling back the layers of that supposed story by showing the consequences of the kid protagonist’s adventure, not just in the trauma, but by displaying how its morally righteous takeaways can lead to toxicity and outright evil, such as with someone like Philip Wittebane. TOH is being nuanced by balancing the selfless and selfish ends of the spectrum, but ultimately it’s finishing on the note of Luz learning to fight for herself, at least as much as she does for others.

         After all, there’s definitely a real-life social trend leaning towards being easier and less punishing on kids; Physical punishment is seen as physical abuse, and people are becoming more aware of just how difficult it really is to be a minor, actually. A lot of conservative groups complain that society has become ‘softer’, but the idea of disobedience and rebellion has become more and more attractive as corporate power constricts and demands you work full-time, emphasizing productivity.

        ‘Empowerment’ is a term that’s more discussed, so when we use that word for minorities, it’s inevitable that people will extend it to adolescents as well, hence the meme of Okay Boomer, as a response to Millennials supposedly ruining everything. Dana herself also mentioned she grew up in a catholic school and was even placed into a headlock by a nun as a child once, which given her story’s villain is a puritan…

         I think TOH argues that Yes, some of the ideas behind being a responsible child do have a bit of a place. BUT, it follows this up with the notion that this default sentiment for kids can and has been damaging, just as S2 follows up on S1’s more corporate, lesson-of-the-day format with a freer story that has Luz struggle with her unfair guilt. The show’s very structure and organization on a meta level ends up reflecting how it offers a typical lesson, but then deconstructs it to argue the opposite is good; Just as Luz enters expecting your regular pretty isekai, but finds something grotesque and demonic, only to accept and embrace that too.

        Luz forgiving her desires pairs with TOH saying it’s okay to be selfish and not expect yourself to be a Hero who saves the world, which is a presumption both egotistical but also demanding. This matches with S2 introducing more prevalently the idea that, hey, maybe kids shouldn’t be expected to save the day either, given the trauma it instills, and the expectation to essentially be a responsible, productive child who is successful in life. That defies the puritan mindset to atone, work hard, and devote yourself to something greater, such as the collective and/or God, which is something American society is continuing to unlearn; And The Owl House reflects these trends as the product of various social movements, such as queer rights.

[riddlerosehearts]

i may have had my complaints about the way playful land ended but despite everything i DID still have a lot of fun with it. and i think my favorite thing about it, honestly, was that even though vil was only an SR card he still managed to be one of the stars of the show for me. him and ortho, both as individual characters and as a duo because i love their dynamic so much, were just awesome to me in this event. so now it's time for a lengthy list of specific things that i love:

this whole entire conversation LMAO. vil telling ortho that he's such an awesome actor he should easily be able to guilt trip idia into coming to playful land and ortho saying he was actually considering that 😭 and then ortho later telling vil that he'll be sure to have so much fun at playful land that the stories will make idia jealous. i love them so much i love that the whole situation of, you know, ortho taking part in ABDUCTING VIL AND TRYING TO RESET THE WHOLE WORLD resulted in them becoming clubmates and genuine friends.

the way ortho is always saying things like this that echo the advice vil originally gave him and idia in book 6

the fact that while vil very much proves during the event that he wasn't lying when he said he was wary of ernesto and wanted to protect his underclassmen, he can't deny that he does also genuinely want to go to playful land for his own reasons! because he is still just a teenager who wants a chance to have fun and see a cool amusement park! especially since later on we get THIS dialogue that just makes me incredibly sad because VIIIILLLLL WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WERE TOO SWAMPED WITH WORK TO GO TO THEME PARKS BY THE TIME YOU WERE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL, YOU WERE STILL JUST A KID YOU DESERVED MORE TIME TO BE A KID!! :(

ortho thinking that he wouldn't get to have a special playful land outfit and then being so happy and excited when it turned out the magic worked on his gear. and also vil's first priority being to get a mirror so he could make sure his own outfit was up to his standards ASDKJGD.

the WHOLE section of vil, ortho, and the tweels hanging out and having fun together but especially just. ortho and the tweels being ridiculous kids arguing over who's better at destroying things with a toy slingshot, ortho getting mad because it's rigged to mess with his calculations and then threatening to literally blow the whole building up, and vil being the only reasonable person there.

and then the pool competition and how seriously they ALL took it but none of them ever stood a chance because ortho specifically was so insane about it that he didn't miss a single shot for almost the entire match and people crowded around just to watch him 😭 the way even vil starts to get mad because he isn't getting a chance to play?? and then ortho using the fact that he won to force all of them to take a goofy group photo in the face standees LMAO. god that's exactly the kind of thing i wish twst gave us CGs for.

also ortho being so excited to see the old toymaker's house, telling everyone about the clocks and the wish upon a star story and saying his favorite parts of the story are when the puppet first moves at the beginning and when he becomes a real boy at the end 🥺 i really wish playful land would've gone WAY harder on the ortho-pinocchio parallels and the idea of what it is that makes ortho himself a "real boy" but oh well...

vil being so levelheaded and mature when things are at their worst, trying his best to come up with a proper plan to save everyone, being the LAST person outside of the SSR trio to get captured and when he finally does it's entirely because he risked his own safety to protect ortho. how even then when ortho asks if he's okay his first priority is to say his face is unscathed ALKSDJGHDGJK god he's so funny. how he goes out calmly and gracefully while also MAKING A MULAN REFERENCE OMG???

ortho tricking the puppets by turning on all the noise-making toys he could find. ortho SAVING THE DAY AT THE VERY END BY DIVING UNDERWATER AND PROPELLING THAT ENTIRE TORN UP HALF-SUNKEN SHIP??

the way vil admires ortho's capabilities as an actor, trusts his skills and his judgement, dotes on him so much and seemingly just ADORES him 🥺

and finally, ortho literally being a robot yet somehow managing to be the funniest person alive

[anonymergremlin]

So...

I mentioned it before (At least I think so), but Sophia is a good example for having the right to be selfish.

Hear me out. When she tells us that she woke up P for her own sake, because she wanted to be freed, I first felt kinda shocked and disappointed (totally silly in the end). What do you mean you did it for yourself? :( *slaps past me*

But here comes to thing. It was her right so be selfish, since it also meant saving everyone else. Sophia was Simon's source of power. She was the person who collected the ergo for him through her powers, making the experiments possible in the first place while also suffering from him doing his best to strength her powers and maybe even keep her alive (this part is mostly a headcanon of mine, since it looked like she was bound to a machine... And I honestly don't think she would have survived such treatment for such a long time).

Sophia was the source of the carcass and mutations, so saving her was the first stop to end one of Krat's nightmares.

Anyway, that alone is one good reason in my opinion to show that her wanting to be saved in the first place was totally deserved. Also... Yeah she knew that she needed P to become stronger to save her, to collect Ergo and other things (to be able to get to her). But while he did that she also reminded him of the people, that he should help them and she reminded him about doing things for himself. Sophia supported P in his journey and his changes. She probably would have been able to get him faster to her, but no, she took her time for everyone's sake.

This post is probably unnecessary (and has a lot of error ughhh), but I really wanted to talk about this since I am still amazed about her role. Also, sweet reminder... Her wanting help in the end is pretty much a reference to the Blue Fairy in the book getting really sick and poor needing Pinocchio's help, which ended up not just saving her. Oh no, it was also the last step to get his humanity.

And we all know what we needed to do to get the 'Rise of P'-Ending... Our true humanity.

Save Sophia.

[supernaturalcharlie11]

Ylfa has never been the type of girl who follows the path that stretches out in front of her. So when she was confronted with writing her story anew, she could only bring herself to write a few lines:

Once upon a time, there was a young girl who loved her grandma very much. Her name was Ylfa Snorgelson. But she was better known as Little Red Riding Hood.

She tucked the page away. There was no need to write more. She would stray from the path anyway. And she knew exactly what was waiting for her at the end of the story. An old friend. A part of her lost in the final battle.

The Big Bad Wolf continues to provide an end to all the stories, but she does so in a kinder way than her predecessor. She too has remnants of memories of an adventure that she went on when a part of her was still a little girl.

The day comes, when Death meets the first of her companions again. She finds Timothy Goose surrounded by his husband and son, falling asleep peacefully.

„Old friend“, he greets Death kindly. „Thank you for joining me on this last path.“

„Of course.“

And they walk together, away from something and towards something else that no one in the world could ever understand. Tim tells death about everything he lived through. A life filled with ink, love and an occasional pickle that Tim cherishes very much.

The next two familiar faces meet the Big Bad Wolf shortly after each other. Gerard had lived a life of adventure, finally laying down his life to protect a new ally. Next to death he makes his way down a path that leads into a similar direction as Mother Goose‘s.

Pib, on the other hand, has a lot of reincarnations left. Death, to him, is merely another stop along the way. But when he meets her, he looks a little wary.

„Rest here as long as you want“, the Big Bad Wolf offers. „You deserve a little rest.“

„Thank you“, Pib meows and jumps onto the back of the Wolf that he once knew so well. Prodding his paws into the soft and warm fur, he prepares a little spot to lie down and sleep without an open eye for the first time in his many lifetimes.

Rosamund greets Death like an old friend, bowing deeply as she leaves her life behind. A life filled with wonder and grace, with adventures and saving as many young maidens from what she once knew as destiny. Now she knows it’s nothing even close to that.

„I‘m not the first, am I?“

Death shakes her big head.

„Will I see them again?“

„I don‘t know“, Death admits. „Where this path leads is hidden even from me. But that doesn‘t mean it will be bad. Quite the opposite, I believe.“

And Death turns so that Rosamund might look upon her old friend again, who is still nestled in the warm fur.

„I don‘t think this path is meant for me“, Pib says looking down the road that some of his companions have already taken.

„Then let‘s stray together“, Rosamund smiles and opens her arms. Death watches as Rosamund carries the little cat down a way that even Death herself can‘t tread.

After that, Death spends a lot of time with people she doesn‘t know, but cares about deeply nonetheless.

Then, one night, an older man finds himself by her side. He looks at Death with love in his eyes, recognising something in her that the Big Bad Wolf has already forgotten.

„Will she join me?“, Pinocchio asks, lovingly running his now human hand through the dark fur.

„Was one lifetime not enough?“, Death asks, genuinely curious.

Pinocchio smiles: „Is it ever?“

The last one to join the other side is an old woman in a red cape. She has a spark in her eyes that tells of a lifetime filled with love, crazy decisions along no path anyone could ever form, and an absence of the pain that was once destined for her.

She looks at Death with kindness, not recognising her. But Death does. She looks behind what everyone else could see directly at the young girl who had once been her.

Many upon a times ago.

„Let‘s just sit for a while“, Death offers and the girl gladly accepts.

„Are you waiting at the end of every story?“

The Big Bad Wolf turns to look at her, memories of adventures and friendship returning in a way that Death never thought possible.

„This is not the end, Little Red“, she whispers quietly. „There are a lot of stories left to be written.“

[brionbroadway]

Gerard, do you promise not to be mad at me?

I thought the hot dogs would make you like Toy Island.

Gerard was angry, but not for the reasons the children thought.

He defaulted to walking alongside Timothy when he felt like this. Gerard could converse with Rosamund for hours about royal nonsense, or he could detail his sword forms to (he was sure) a rapt audience in Pib, but Mother Goose was the only one who understood his feelings before he could name them.

“Look, what Snow White said,” Timothy said, before Gerard offered that he wanted to talk. “There are a lot of reasons Elody wouldn’t have mentioned that she was married. I wouldn’t assume—”

“It’s not that.”

Timothy looked surprised, and Gerard understood. He loved Elody more than anyone in the world—or worlds, as it were. He was beginning to realize he also loved her at the expense of everyone else.

“The kids,” Gerard said. “I don’t want to get mad at them, but their behaviour puts us in danger. Puts them in danger. I don’t know how else to communicate the severity of that.”

“I understand that.”

When Ylfa was scared to disobey him, when Pinocchio was desperate to please him, Gerard remembered what adults did with their perceived misbehavior in the past. You are not my daughter. I never should have made you. He suspected, that if his parents ever found him as a frog, they would’ve said the same sentiment to him.

“But just because I’m angry, or upset—I’m not going to leave. I’m not going to reject them. I don’t think they know that, and I think that’s my fault.”

“Ylfa and Pinocchio have been let down by most of the adults in their lives,” Timothy says. “It’s not fair to put the trauma that’s caused solely on your shoulders. You’re here, so I know what you’re saying to be true, but….”

“But?”

“I don’t know, I think it’s like being in love. You can show someone that you love them every day, but you still need to say it.”

Gerard knew he’d done the opposite with Elody.

“Will that matter?” he asked.  “If there are days like today, when I get like this, and don’t show it as well as I should?

“You don’t have to be the perfect person to be perfect for them, Gerard. They’re smart kids. They understand that you’re huma—well, you know. Just, try not to stay angry at yourself. That will not help any of you heal.”

Gerard was cursed as a child for who he was. When he was cursed again as an adult, it was clear it was not a behaviour he’d grown out of, but an intrinsic flaw in who he was. He did not know if he deserved to believe another story about himself.

But.

He refused to let Yfla and Pinocchio believe the same story about themselves, so he would have to try.

[keirawantstocry]

hmm maybe fitbo with him being jealous of fobo, in todays stream he called them basemates cause he doesn’t want to call them roommates

*materializes out of dust* hey

“I am not fucking jealous of Foolish fucking gamers,” Fit spat. 

Bagi full on laughed at him. “Oh Fit. You are not a good liar.”  

He scowled, not truly mad at her. “I'm not lying.” 

Bagi shook her head. “That's just not true. Your nose is growing by the second.” 

“You did not just compare me to fucking Pinocchio.” 

Bagi laughed. “Sim, sim, I did.” 

Fit threw his hands up in defeat. “Fine, okay. I'm a little jealous.” 

“A little?” 

Fit sighed and leaned back in his chair as Bagi sipped her tea. “Okay, fine. You wanna hear the whole ugly truth?” 

“You know how I love fofoca.” 

“I get so angry that I see red anytime I see them together. I don't fucking mind that they're living together, I don't mind that they're fucking basemates or whatever but he's been fucking ghosting me. He passes me up for Foolish and that makes me mad. He's… he's supposed to be mine not Foolish's.” 

“Yours?” Bagi asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Fit flushed. He hadn't meant to say that. Possessiveness wasn't something he deserved to have. Wasn't something he was allowed. 

He swallowed hard. “Yes. He's…” Fit hesitated. “I want…” 

Bagi raised her other eyebrow, looking so damn curious. “What do you want Fit? Say it aloud. It will help you accept it.” 

Fit took an incredibly long deep breath. “I was never allowed to have anything of my own on 2b2t. Not really. We aren't allowed to form attachments to anything Bagi. Absolutely nothing. We didn't have marriages in the wasteland like you do on this island. Basemate was a rare term there. You can't trust anyone.” He attempted to catch his breath. His breath was coming too fast, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. 

Bagi put her hand on his arm, a bit awkwardly. “Breathe, Fit. It's okay.” 

He took a few deep breaths before continuing to speak. “I'm a bit broken. I had reservations about involving Pac in my mess but I've seen him handle it better than I ever could have imagined. But Tubbo? He's dealing with a lot. I don't. He doesn't need my shit on top of all that. He doesn't need my possessiveness and all this anger.” 

“You don't really get to choose that,” Bagi said. “You love him, want him. You can't shove that down. All you can do is bring it to him and accept his response.” 

Fit laughed humorlessly. “I don't think he wants me.” 

“Don't be sure. Not until you've asked him.” 

Fit stared at her for a long moment. Tried to truly soak in her words. “Okay,” he said finally. “Yeah okay um. I'll talk to him.” 

Bagi grinned. “I should take on the role of island therapist.” 

Fit laughed a little bit, feeling lighter then he had in ages. “And take Melissa's job?” 

Bagi smiled. “Hey, maybe I could work with her.” 

“And what would Tina think of that?” Fit teased, laughing as Bagi's face went pink. 

“Don't worry about Tina. This is about you!” 

“Yes, ma'am.” Fit said, holding up his hands, subtly trying to wipe away his tears. “And thank you. Obrigado.” 

“Anytime, Fit. I am part of your morning crew. We are family, you and I. That is forever.” 

[morgana-artt]

P x Alchemist!GN!Reader

Note: Did this at 5am so idk if it makes any sense, just wanted to write something angsty.

Note 2: the reader is like Laxasia but is similar to Sophia in terms of wielding ergo. Think of this as like, a bad end for P.

Spoilers warning just in case

_________________________________________

How...how did this happen? He swore he could've won, I mean...you were human, right? His piercing blue eyes stared back into your (e/c) ones as you slowly made your way to him, no...you weren't human. At least not fully. You radiated the same energy that Laxasia gave off and he was half right, while she was the first whole being, you were a half being meaning that you were almost complete in your trial of becoming the second whole being.

You had joined the alchemist long before as your family were also alchemists, you questioned their ways but yet stuck with them as they were your only solution to becoming whole again. Many of your family members and coworkers had died trying to become a whole being and you were going to stop at nothing to become the second one at least.

You reached the puppet that held his side with his human arm, you looked down at him you had hit him in the most delicate place...his heart. You had just grazed it knowing full well what was at stake. You gazed at the man down at you, you wondered if he knew how much he resembled an old friend of yours- an old romance even.

You reached towards his face with your left arm that was just like his, robotic and cold. You held his chin making him look up at you, "this...this can go much more better if you don't struggle..." Your voice spoke out, "just give up, please. I...don't want this to end in tragedy" you finished up, knowing full well how this was going to turn out. The puppet tried to reach up and grab you- on an attempt to push you away but using your metallic arm which pulsated with ergo, it caused the puppet to become weak. Just what were you, he wondered. Despite being stuck between a rock and a hard place, he couldn't help but find you...ethereal. The way the moonlight hit your skin as it did so with your hair too, you were almost angelic in his eyes. Like he knew you from somewhere.

You kneeled down to his level on the ground, cupping his cheeks softly. "Just let everything go...you've done a lot of work but who was it really for? For that Sophia girl? For the people at the hotel? For your father?" You asked, "Pinocchio... Your tale is such a strange one. The boy who was aiming to become real...is that something you truly want?" You asked him, making him furrow his eyebrows. He didn't understand much of what you were saying but you looked so kind while saying it. "Being human...isn't all that great as you may think" you muttered.

He felt his body twitch, was it the ergo through your arm that was making him weak? Your voice? Your looks? He didn't know but all he knew was that he felt tired- exhausted even. He leaned into your touch, was he doing any of this for himself? You were right in a sense that everything he did was for others but he had to right? Because that's what a good boy does, right?

"I can give you something much more peaceful if you'd like, no more fighting, no more having to lie. Would you like that? Would you like to feel peace?" You voice was soft, almost like it was lulling him towards the answer you wanted.

"...yes..." He said softly, as he gripped on your clothing, "peace..." You smiled softly, cradling his head onto your chest. "I can give you peace, my love...you deserve peace after everything you went through, Carlo..."

____

You walked towards your room that was within the tower, you had just past Simon, although thanks to his help you managed to achieve something like no other but you were in no mood to deal with his antics at the moment. You just wanted to be with him.

Opening the door and walking in, closing it and locking it behind you, you looked up at the body sitting in the chair. It wasn't moving which you glad it wasn't, after all...he couldn't do much without a heart.

You opened up your coat pocket and pulled out the thing that kept your loved one alive. It beated in your hand, slight ticking was heard. "I was supposed to give you this, old man...but I can't give you want you want. You don't deserve it after how you treated him." you spoke to no one but yourself, you looked at the man sitting soundly in your chair. You smiled softly.

You had somehow managed to survive the process of becoming a whole being, now you were officially the second in the making. You however had one request and that was to keep a hole within your chest for a mechanical heart, something to keep the one in your hand safe. After all, you can't let anyone hurt him again. He didn't deserve it. Instead you thought it was best for him to be with you both outside and inside. You hugged the heart close to you, "Carlo...don't worry, you're safe now, my love..."

You didn't need to do much as the heart simply slipped into place within your own chest, you could feel the ergo within it. It almost felt...sad. You felt warm however, you were finally with your lover that had died long ago. You looked at his puppet, the resemblance was like no other. You walked towards the puppet that was limp in the chair, you hugged his head while stroking the gray long locks with your fingers. You were finally together.

You and your Carlo.

[anarchist-rat-swarm]

Didn't expect to find a brutally condemning dissection of far right ideology in the author comments of a webcomic, but here we go.

(Credit to Mason "Tailsteak" Williams, author and artist of Forward. This is the comment he made for 10/23/23, where a highly anxious social shut-in, a profoundly traumatized veteran, and a sexbot are discussing Pinnocio. I think it's too long for one post, so look for my self-reblog with the other half)

There is a surprisingly straight line between Pinocchio and fascism. You see, when Carlo Collodi wrote about Pinocchio in 1881 for the children of a newly-unified Italy, the fairytale was indeed intended as a dark warning against mischief and rudeness, with the titular character being (somehow) hung by the wooden neck until dead. This was karmic retribution for his chronic misbehaviour - the initial incarnation of the animated marionette not only lies, but constantly engages in all manner of disrespectful and impish behaviour (including the aforementioned unwarranted insecticide). He goes out into the world and gets into mischief, and thus, inevitably, gets what's coming to him. This dour fable followed the pattern of other similar stories at the time of simple peasants venturing into the recently industrialized cities, where their provincial bumpkin ways get them into well-deserved trouble. Italy was undergoing a lot of societal changes at the time, and this type of story was a way to encourage Tuscan yokels to adapt to modern cosmopolitan life - to fall in line, so to speak. It is worth noting that Pinocchio is literally not a real person, he must earn respect and personhood and love and "real" status by being a good little boy - by listening to his father, by studying in school, by avoiding vices, by telling the truth. Only good boys are real boys, only those who behave properly are valid Italian citizens.

[artificialkids-2k23-official]

Submission Rules

submission form

Character must be considered a child or teenager by the standards of their canon (so if they're five hundred but created to be, behave as, and are treated by the narrative as a child or teenager, they count; if they're two and were created to mimic an adult, they don't).

Character must have been artificially created in some way, whether a robot, a clone, a puppet brought to life, or what have you. For our purposes, "artificially created" refers to anything created outside of the standards for their world (so a human who was created without the traditional combo of egg-and-sperm, but if that method is normal for an alien species, those aliens don't count).

I want to keep it to one or two characters per canon so if I get a lot of characters from one canon we'll have a royale bracket to determine which two get to ride. Likewise, characters like Pinocchio with multiple adaptations will have a royale bracket to determine which one gets to rep all Pinokes.

No Homestuck submissions. I know just enough about Homestuck that I would believe you about literally any character and I don't feel like sifting through them to decide who gets to ride.

No major figures from currently practiced religions. (This is me getting in before someone tries to submit Jesus of Nazareth.)

I reserve the right to veto if I think the character's backstory is stupid and shouldn't have involved artificial creation. (This is me getting in before someone tries to submit Webby Vanderquack.)

If there are multiple versions of the character's canon, please include whether they are only artificial in certain versions, and if so which one(s). This way I can be sure to grab graphics from the right versions.

Characters I like or that my friends submit may get added even if they don't do the necessary numbers. This is called the Nepotism Clause.

The following characters are already riding based on the nepotism clause:

Boyd Drake (Ducktales 2o17)

Penny Polendina (RWBY)

Astro (Astroboy)

Rusty the Boy Robot (Big Guy and Rusty the Boy Robot)

Pinocchio (version to be decided)

Spike the Dragon (My Little Pony)

Lena Sabrewing (Ducktales 2o17)

Hubert Farnsworth (Futurama)

Laura Kinney/X-23 (X-Men Evolution)

Jenny Wakeman (My Life As A Teenage Robot)

Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic)

Theta AI (Red vs Blue)

How this will work:

Depending on how many submissions I get, I'll choose the most popular up to a certain number shy of a clean bracket. For the remaining slots, I'll post a series of royale brackets (ten names, winner rides) to determine who among the single-votes gets to ride.

I am also reserving the right to automatically add someone to the bracket because someone made a strong enough case for them, so feel free to gush about how much your artificial blorbo deserves this the most.

While I'm taking submissions, I'll run several warm up brackets for a few special cases, so stay tuned for those.

Also, an important note! This is a nice bracket. There will be no steel chairs here. When this is all over we're taking the kids out for ice cream and the winner gets a trophy but everyone gets ice cream.

[laughingsour]

Unpopular take: Turning Red is amazing and so are it’s themes. (Spoiler free).

I want to start out by saying that I do believe that GDT’s Pinocchio deserves the prizes and all the prise it gets. And so does Puss in Boots: the last wish.

However, for all the prise that’s been thrown their way there’s something problematic that needs to be adressed and it’s not about the movies. It’s about some of thier fans.

I am not here to defend Disney, I hate what the House of Mouse has become and even before they certainly had a lot of questionable things about them. Normaly I would be spitefully happy about all the flak they are getting if it wasn’t for the fact that all the hate has been directed towards a movie that does not deserve it.

Turning Red.

Here’s an example of what i mean.

Now before you haters start, this is not to say that Puss in Boots or Pinocchio are bad movies, in fact I love them too, i just happen to love Turning Red too.

Turning Red is an amazing movie that, in it’s own way, breaks as many conventions as Del Toro’s take on Pinocchio does. But while that movie get it’s well-earned applause, Red gets undeserved hate for a number of reasons that are way beyond the movie’s control.

One is that the movie is linked to Disney, and because it happened to be their project that drew more attention last year, it ended up being the one in which Disney’s dissaponted fans took out their frustration on.

Another is the whole double-standard of people who are okay with a “kid’s” movie having themes of death, war, panic attacks and unintentionally harmfull parents, but are still too conservative to have themes of being an pubert and panicking about not knowing what’s going on.

One thing that pepole seem to miss is that this movie was intentionally made to be cringe at times and uncomfortable for some people because being uncomfortable is a HUGE part of being a teen. But instead of offering thier sympathy to a girl who is lost on both her body and on who she is, like everyone is at that age, they want to call her gross or inmproper and act as if they are over it.

Being a teen is about doing things we may be embarrased about later on cause we don’t know any better and adults who are supposedly wiser are often uwilling to help or even acknowlege that. So we are often forced to play by ear and figure things out by ourselves.

That is what this movie is about, it’s not a heartwarming, frightening tale of a wooden boy or an epic satire of a fearless hero who laughs at Death. It’s a juvenile and weird story about suddenly understanding that growing up is messy. 

It’s not fair to compare Turning Red to those because it’s not doing what those movies want to do but the thing it wants to do.

You can tell right away from their artstyles. Pinocchio and Puss in Boots have more stylized designs that are eye catching and fun to watch. And Turning Red has a more simple but still energetic and overtly cartoony style. That allows for the expresive over the top faces and gestures in the movie (which also ties into the themes of puberty feeling all over the place).

Like Guillermo del Toro said when he got the Oscar, animation isn’t a genere it’s a medium. And Turning red doesn’t deserve to be held back by the double-standards people wish to have for said medium; or the hate for the company that helped create those double-standars; or the inmature pepole who still wish they had done things diferently when they were younger.

I always knew this movie wasn’t gonna win the Oscar and that’s fine by me, Domee Shi (the movie’s creator) didn’t do this movie to win a prize, she made it cause she had a story to tell about making room for all the messy and unruly things in our life. If not to let it out, then to admit it’s there and it’s okay to have it.

If you still don’t like this movie or Disney and think Pinocchio and Puss in Boots are better, that’s fair. But stop bringing Turning Red and the people who enjoy it down just because it’s not what you expected or “Oscar worthy”

If you agree with me, reblog or repost this and spread the word. This movie needs someone in it’s corner.

[nomsfaultau]

(Not) Daily ask №32

I really don't think that I can keep up the 5 questions every single day thing. Procrastination gets the better of me : (

Isekai edition!

1. What is your favourite universe? Like a favourite show, game, book, etc.

2. What are your 3 favourite characters from that universe?

3 What is your favourite time period of the universe? Ex. Pogtopia arc for dsmp, an episode of a show, a scene from a book.

4. What is your favourite antagonist/villain from that universe?

5. BOOM fault crew gets into your favourite universe, in your favourite time period of the show, with your favourite characters finding them first and then they meet your favourite antagonist. How does that go?

There is completely no obligation to do anything ever, buddy. 

1.Really hard to look past the haze of Fault that’s been my brain for years. That said, I’ve been having an INSANELY good time with Taz vs Dracula recently. Essentially it’s a DND campaign where they go through a wacky gothic horror setting that’s very heavy on the comedy, all in the name of defeating Dracula. It incorporates a lot of free domain characters, so like Pinocchio, Mickey Mouse, King Arthur, the invisible man show up (or doesn’t, he’s a flakey POS). All with some crazy twist of course ofcours. Absolute blast. 

And no read more line because I’m proselytizing for this podcast now okay ok. 

2. Lady Godwin. She’s a posh old lady who got run over by Dracula and the Wolf Man (who is a bad influence on Dracula). She had a Frankenstein life policy but it got shut down due to bad business practice, and her head got stuck on a barbarian lady’s body. On top of that severe body dysphoria, Lady Godwin gets bitten by a were-horse and gets transported to the mental realm of Oats on occasion. She’s prim and huffy and goes into destructive rages. Perfect woman. 

Thumbs. Thumbs is a were-orangutan DJ for the Wolf Man’s nightclub, since he’s the only one with thumbs. There’s supposed to be a spell that allows everyone to communicate with one another, but he just speaks in monkey noises. Notably is banned from pushing the big red button on his DJ set up. BUt ooooooh man. Wants to. Deserves to. (this destroyed the were-house were-nightclub)

An. He’s an almost dead god of night with a dedicated cult and the Sword in the Stone jammed through his skull, pinning him in spot because evil cults don’t tend to have a lot of people pure of heart and rightful king of England material? Who knew. He’s so suave and has a major superiority complex and is so so so overtly evil but the DND party is just so chill about debating whether or not to free him. But An has searched all of the land to find the most Pure of Heart….and landed on Brother Phileaux, the monk currently sharing a Pinocchio body with THE Van Helsing. Who is an absolute little freak, mind, so I have absolutely zero idea why he’s trying to (in his own words) 4D chess manipulate Phileaux when he is pure by no one’s standards and also very dumb. It’s very hard to be a gaslight gatekeep girlbosser when dealing with stupid adventurers. Poor guy. He dies due to the redneck Mutt becoming the casual King of England, a reverse knock knock joke and the Toby Slayer*, and a cross that the interim-temporary Turbo Cardinal stole once. 

3. Episode 16 is my favorite part. Literally howling the entire time. Acquiring the Toby Slayer*, a legendary sword that obliterates anyone named Toby with. Yes this means they spend the rest of the campaign trying to name people Toby (nicknames, telling an amnesiac their name is Toby, shortening Turbo Cardinal to Toby (works because one of them is the king of England via authoritarian legends). They kill a god using the Toby slayer. This all happened because the DM tried to give last minute flavor text to a loot item. Casually water boarding the severed head of a Dracula clone while discussing if they could raise him to be the ‘good Dracula’. Meeting a crazy fish monster man with a basketball wife named Elizabeth, who is a druid that only turns into sports items. Taking a break from a revenge quest to play the sickest game of volleyball ever using said sports druid. Lady Godwin randomly biting a severed ear. The ENTIRE inventory situation of Phileaux, including teeth from a sea monster, said severed ear, and LITERALLY HIS OWN DEAD BODY SHRUNKEN DOWN INTO A LITTLE VILE. The offhand discussion about if Phileaux should make a flesh homunculous using spare Dracula clone parts. I think this TAZ episode made me laugh the most, though the Steeplechase campaign where they went on the trashiest dating show ever was so choice too. Schlebethany my beloved….

4. DRACULA. Oh my god he’s soooooooo fun. Might be my favorite villain ever. Absolute love to hate character, except he’s so funny and charismatic that it’s hard to hate him even though like terrible evil dude. But he’s also a complete dork, and cringes about his ‘wizard phase’ and opines about how everyone wants to kill him :( so rude. He had a toxic BFF relationship with the Wolf Man but had to cut him out for being a ‘bad influence’ (HE IS DRACULA THIS MAN IS THE WORST). He helps Mutt (protag) pull out his fangs to make earrings. All of his clones insist they’re ‘the good’ Dracula. Dracula had an unrequited romantic relationship with Dr. Frankenstein, and is now in a love triangle with him and another Dracula clone, who wants to kill OG Drac for breaking Frankenstein’s heart. He is a staunch supporter of the fine arts. So far I think he might be trying to mind control an entire town/end the world (?) via evil airpods because he can’t get one song out of his head from when he was a kid. And also so he doesn’t have to drink blood anymore because it’s yucky >.<

Like. Just listen to him:

“Dear diary.

How come everybody wants to kill Dracula?

I mean, the people whose villages I’ve razed to the ground, whose family trees I’ve so thoroughly pruned, them I understand. But how did my vulnerabilities become the topic of casual dinner table conversation? I don’t talk about the weaknesses of mortal men, and Lord knows I could. I may be biased, but it seems these days that haters are coming at me left, right, and center…(enter SICK MUSIC RIFF)

5.Tubbo will get obliterated. No help for it. The SECOND the DND party finds out their name, the Toby Slayer is going to come out. Thems the rules. Or they’d try, but the Fault crew would step in and then the DND party would be really chill and laid-back, brushing off the murder attempt while everyone else is freaking out. Tubbo would probably try to convince Phileaux to work more with Van Helsing on the semi system thing. Overall freaked out about how casual murder is here. Second, Wilbur is having a bad time due to the permanent eternal night upon the land. Oh well. Flashlights may or may not exist, since we have both horse-drawn carriages and Honda elontras show up? Good luck lmao. Phileaux could probably cast light on a pointed Pinocchio hat for him. But would be wayyy too interested in getting samples from the void. Tommy thinks it’s spooky as hell. Maybe Elizabeth could teach him the cantrip Shape Water, which would solve 99% of his problem if he can artificially control Red. Wait. And he can touch Brother Phileaux! That’s big for him, until Phileaux says something offputting and oh muffin that wasn’t a joke- The Blade is really vibing with Mutt, since, ranger. They’re also very blunt and straight forward characters. And he’d love Lady Agatha (dog). Probably Lady Godwin too for their similar rage modes, but the comments about curvaceousness would make him awkward. I really really really want Philza to party with the Wolf Man. But the auto killing any non were-person would be a damper on the relationship. And Philza isn’t at random haha murder philosophy atm, so would probably not hang even if he can pass. Ah wait forgot he’s super duper beheaded by this point of the series, moot point. He can definitely gel with Lady Godwin and Elizabeth about getting lost in the sauce re: body, be it the plane of horses, basketballs, or dragons. 

Now I could go on and on about how the existence of monsters casually in society both as threats and friends would drastically be eye opening for the Fault guys, etc etc, however they’re in the middle of a swamp at the moment. 

As for plot: The Blood God would be extremely hyped about the cult of the Buried Blood! …until he finds out it isn’t about him. Booo what kind of god gets half murdered? Loser. I figure the Fault crew would pick up An’s rank vibes way more than the DND party bothered to act on, the manipulation is pretty blatant. Tubbo is absolutely fuming about not being pure of heart, and that the random redneck did it through the power of rats. Tommy is desperate to become the king of England, and is infuriated because none of the DND guys know what England even is. 

Probably a lot less impressive to kill a god when you have like 3 on your team, but-

Everyone is down on the killing Dracula thing. Even Tubbo I think, given how evil he is. Would prefer a different method! But it’s looking like world ending stakes so maybe it’s okay. As for actually meeting the real OG Dracula? The campaign hasn’t gotten there, so I can’t even guess. But the fact both universes have potentially world ending songs is really funny. Based on vibes, Philza, Tommy, and The Blade think Dracula is absolutely great and kinda forget they’re there to kill him. Philza definitely sympathetic on the curse of immortality thing. Dracula doesn’t pass Wilbur’s vibe check at all, thinks he’s sleezy, and Tubbo can see way too much of the mind control stuff happening to brush it off. Like if they can manage to hate friendly Philza the charisma isn’t going to mean much. 

Probably ends up trying to suck Tommy’s blood, getting Red’d, and having the most balls to the walls insane fight scene ever. Man I can’t wait for the finale.

[writingforfun0714]

Y’all….that new Peter Pan and Wendy movie…looks bad.

Before everyone comes at me for being racist, lemme explain.

I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO problem with a POC Peter Pan. I have NO PROBLEM with a black Tinkerbell. I don’t mind a scraggly/hobo Captain Hook and I liked Ever Anderson from her role as Young Natasha Romanoff in Black Widow so not that my expectations for her are high, but I know that her acting can be pretty good for a kid. And as a POC myself, I’m all for representation.

But the track record for successful Disney remakes (of their animated movies) isn’t high. The remakes are kind of like this generation’s animated sequels from the 2000s. Some people really like the live-action remakes (just like there are some that love the animated sequels), but lots of people seem to hate/dislike them. I’m weird I guess..I like lots of the animated sequels but don’t like most of the remakes.

That’s one of my problems with this movie (at least from what has been shown so far). There isn’t anything new (besides designs/looks of the characters) introduced.

Personally, I really only enjoyed the Cinderella, Pete’s Dragon, and Jungle Book remakes (Maleficent/Cruella/Aladdin I thought was ok. Could’ve been better imo but definitely not as bad as some others). Cinderella, Pete’s Dragon and The Jungle Book remakes are the only ones I’ll actually rewatch.

I’ve seen most of the remakes (except for Pinocchio w/ Tom Hanks) and don’t like Lion King, Mulan, Dumbo, Lady and the Tramp, and Beauty and the Beast. I’d heard the Pinocchio remake was terrible so I just didn’t even bother.

I’m skeptical about The Little Mermaid remake (again, not because of a POC Ariel) but Melissa McCarthy has always been a fav of mine so I think I’ll see it (unlike Pinnochio. Guillermo Del Toro’s version on Netflix is so great and definitely superior).

But another problem I have with this new Peter Pan and Wendy movie is the color. Everything looked muted and not bright (even on Neverland). The Little Mermaid has this problem too. The lighting makes it look dark (yeah it’s deep in the ocean but even Finding Nemo did a better job w/ lighting). That’s the same thing with this Peter Pan remake. Everything looked a little saturated too, if that makes sense.

Now I wanna get to one of my main problems with this movie. The Lost Boys. I have NO PROBLEM with people identifying the way they want. Whatever makes you comfortable. But my problem was more with the delivery of the lines. Wendy looked over and said “wait, but you’re not all boys.” And one of the girls snaps back with a ‘so?!’

While I can’t exactly explain why I dislike that particular exchange, I just thought it didn’t sit well with me. I’m wondering because of the addition of girls that the way to become a ‘lost boy’ will change. In the book, Lost Boys were male babies that would fall out of their prams. I believe they said that only happened to boys because they weren’t as smart as girls or something (it’s been 20yrs so please correct me if I’m wrong).

I just don’t think we’ve seen enough at this point for it to be good. I’m really hoping that once other trailers are released, my opinion will change. I really think we just haven’t seen enough.

Also does the actress that plays Tiger Lily look a little too old? Idk I just thought she was supposed to be like a teen girl. The actress looks to be late 20s-early 30s maybe.

I’d also like to point out to those saying they hate the movie because there are girls that are Lost Boys. My problem was the delivery/acting of the lines, not that there are girls with the Lost Boys. Saying only boys are stupid enough to fall out of their prams is just untrue because that’s something that can happen to any baby. Plus those that say that Wendy being female is special because she’s a mother figure to the boys? Like do girls not deserve a mother figure too?? Disney has historically avoided mother/daughter relationships so this would be a great opportunity to switch it up.

And people have a problem with a black tinker bell like she isn’t some sort of made up magical creature. Like c’mon. Plus people saying Hook doesn’t look ‘hot’ anymore. Guys I don’t think he was ever supposed to be good looking. I’ve never seen any of the live action peter pans, but I know Jason Isaacs plays Cap Hook in one movie and yes, he’s good looking, but if I remember correctly, in the books, Hook used to be in the navy or something and eventually went crazy and started tracking down/hunting the kids. He’s supposed to look…like a hobo.

So yeah, in short, my problems are with the acting so far and the lighting/saturation. The effects look decent but again, I think I really need to see more footage and I hope my opinion will change cuz I really enjoyed the animated Peter Pan as a kid.

[riddlerosehearts]

okay so now that i've finally had time to finish reading all of playful land on EN i do have to say that it really just did not hit for me :( and i had seen some people talking about being disappointed by the ending for this whole past year so i already figured it wouldn't live up to glorious masquerade but i hoped i'd still love it anyway since i'm not very hard to please and i was excited to see kalim and ortho in the spotlight. but idk. glomas was just so fun every step of the way, the high stakes were so exciting and the parallels between idia and rollo were so masterfully done. and maybe that's part of the problem, the fact that every time ernesto (yes i'm an ernesto foulworth defender i think it's a good localization don't @ me 😤) went off about how you have to be privileged and exceptional to get anywhere in life and how all the boys deserve to be trafficked for getting into NRC i kept wishing ruggie was there to act as a foil to him but he was already in glomas so they didn't let him... i actually enjoyed playful land a lot more at the beginning before everyone started getting turned into puppets because seeing everyone just hanging out and checking out the theme park attractions was so fun but then the conflict didn't engage me enough and didn't feel like it was handled as well! ortho didn't even get any sort of pinocchio-esque arc about what makes him a "real boy" despite being a robot like i expected him to back when he was revealed to be one of the SSRs. so now i don't really regret not getting around to reading translations of it like i meant to when it came out last year tbh.

and man the more i think about it the more i'm really just so sad ruggie couldn't be in this event because it's like... i loved the jamil/ruggie teamup in glomas SO MUCH idk whether i would've wanted to trade it in exchange for him being in playful land! i wish he could've just been in both!! i've seen people saying he wasn't there because he would've fully agreed with ernesto but tbh i don't think so. ruggie certainly takes advantage of those with more privilege than him such as leona but he also literally takes care of poor kids in his neighborhood, he cares for his community and does in fact have a moral code that he sticks to. ernesto just wants money and doesn't care who he hurts in order to get it, he would NOT have asked ruggie what his financial background was before turning him into a puppet and trying to sell him too. i actually think ruggie would've been the ONE AND ONLY character who could've treated ernesto like idia treated rollo, which would be by going "yeah i see you, i understand you, i've been in your exact position AND THAT'S WHY I THINK YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT". while at the same time also acknowledging that while obviously you should not do human trafficking, it also ISN'T always that easy to climb out of poverty... because ruggie would understand that and would have something to say that wouldn't just be "well i think school is the best place ever :)"... just like how idia was the only person who could fully understand that rollo's trauma of not being able to save his little brother from dying right in front of him isn't exactly easy to move on from but that still doesn't make it okay to try and drain the whole world of magic... ughhhh this would've been such a good event for a ruggie SSR i fear i may never get over it.