#it's never too much when you are thinking about transmutate

[deskraven]

About Chaos Terran AU Transmutate

Transmutate was the last Chaos Terran to be born, and their birth was quite unexpected. Instead of Starscream succeeding in S02E09, a shard was knocked out of his hands and fell into a very convenient pool of water before Spitfire could piece them together. Starscream immediately tries to abort (?) the Terran in formation with the Cyber Slayer. The action shocked Spitfire. She acted before thinking and knocked the weapon away.

The new Chaos Terran survived but their generation was interrupted, causing them to be half-formed, both mentally and physically. They have a skeletal appearance with a hollow abdomen (indicating the lack of a T-cog), their limbs all messed up. They don't have a sense of identity, meaning no name, no gender, and no language. Their frame is too weak to hold the chaos energy it generates which caused them to immediately scream out a huge blast of chaos energy, and the Autobots took the chance to collect some of the shards and escape. The Malto Terrans were very concerned with the safety of the new Terran but were urged to escape quickly.

Starscream called the new Terran a transmutate and the name sticked (I might change this if I ever come up with a better origin). He didn't try to kill them, not wanting to raise further suspicion from the Chaos Terrans as well as wanting to exploit their chaos energy scream in the future.

The world is a really confusing place for Transmutate! It took them a while to realize those who don't share a psychic link with them are also sentient beings, that these bots and organic creatures are different from objects and have their own thoughts and act under a certain logic that is for some reason invisible to them. Transmutate ends up being very good at interpreting their siblings' emotions and thoughts though the link, as well as express themself through it.

Spitfire felt really torn about them. She wished she had either acted quicker before Starscream could have stroked them with the Cyber Slayer, or acted later because she thought death would be better than ending up like this. She was heavily manipulated by Starscream and wanted his approval, but didn't know how to feel about him trying to kill a Chaos Terran. Overall she was very protective of them though she didn't know how to care for them.

Transmutate's birth would somehow help Sideways realize chaos energy's connection to Unicron. Transmutate is the only Chaos Terran who's able to release chaos energy though it's involuntary, so it gave him samples to study. Sideways wasn't a good big brother at all and would intentionally trigger them to collect chaos energy.

Wreck-gar was probably the only being in this world who felt completely positive about Transmutate. She was simply happy to become a big sister and immediately assumed the role. Transmutate's messed up limbs made walking a struggle so Wreck-gar usually carried them in her backpack.

I think the Maltos, especially Twitch and Nightshade, would try very hard to approach the duo, but it was hard to persuade them to willingly stay at the Maltos. The two were friendly and were happy to visit but would always return to their siblings. Transmutate grew an interest in flying due to the two flying Maltos though, and Wreck-gar built them a jetpack.

Thoughts on their future

Eventually Starscream would collect all the shards and start killing the Chaos Terrans, I haven't thought the whole thing through but here are some thoughts:

Spitfire and Aftermath stayed to fight while ordering Wreck-gar to leave with Transmutate.

The Decepticons were more involved with Starscream's plan in this AU, but some grew attached to the kids and allowed the duo to escape.

Wreck-gar decided to return when she felt Aftermath dying. The Maltos arrived and split up - Nightshade was responsible for taking Transmutate away and the rest went to rescue the other Chaos Terrans with Wreck-gar.

Hashtag and Wreck-gar would eventually reach Starscream, join force with Spitfire, have a cool fight, but eventually be over-powered. Starscream would spare Hashtag's life and maybe give her an invitation to join him, which only left Hashtag with severe survivor guilt.

Sensing Spitfire and Wreck-gar's deaths, Transmutate was devastated and could no longer keep the chaos energy within them under control. Feeling about to explode they decided to focus their energy outburst on the one responsible for their siblings' death. The concentrated energy created a very unstable chaos dome (similar to the one they made in BW), which trapped all the Decepticons and the rising Chaos Titan.

The Maltos managed to escape the shield in time.

Instead of watching them explode, Nightshade remembered that Terrans and Chaos Terrans can sync and hopped in to help. The rest of the Terrans joined as well. Their combined form was able to stabilize both Transmutate and the chaos dome, making it a chaos-quintus dome.

Transmutate wasn't that happy about surviving though. They were still mostly nonverbal at this point and their siblings were literally the world to them. For a good while they would refuse to go with the Maltos and just wander outside the dome wanting to get in to the side of their siblings. But the dome wouldn't be so easy to open in this AU.

Eventually they would start living with the Maltos. Initially they might abuse syncing as a replacement for psychic link communication but would eventually learn to communicate with English - maybe picture cards at first, then reading and typing, eventually speaking?

Nightshade would be very enthusiastic about building them assistive tech. Dot would supervise them to make sure they don't make something like a shooting leg again and teach Transmutate to use them. She's also quite insistent that Transmutate fly with a helmet (which gives Transmutate a chance to look not bald but just like any normal person they refuse to wear the helmet when not flying).

Eventually Transmutate would have an upgraded jetpack and a pair of crutches attached their forearms that can transform into jets and arm blades. They usually only wear the multifunctional crutches. They would also repaint themself into their classic colors ^ ^

Transmutate would still want to go back inside the dome, not wanting their siblings bodies to be trapped with the ones who murdered them. And the wish grew stronger as they learned more about Cybertronian biology and realized that there were hope to revive their siblings. Nightshade would very much support the idea and the two would research on it together, but I need to think more on the attitudes of the other Maltos.

It would feel really weird when the Chaos Terrans (excluding Sideways who were somewhere in some other universe doing child labor for Unicron) were revived. By that time Transmutate would have lived longer than their older siblings. Spitfire and Aftermath would refuse to live with the Maltos and move into the previous Decepticon base, and Transmutate would go with them. They regard both the Maltos and the Chaos Terrans as family and would try to bring them together, or at least urge their older siblings to think about who they want to be now that the Decepticons are gone.

Transmutate wouldn't assume the Maltos' surname though, and wouldn't wear a Terran badge. At some point they may reconsider the name and gender they were assigned with, only to realize they feel quite apathetic about it. （So technically they are okay with all pronouns including it/its but most of the character would just continue using they/them.)

I'm still weighing whether to add Rampage to this AU or not. There are already too many characters. But if I do bring him in - he would be a result of Quintesson experiment and meet Transmutate when the latter got abducted by the Quitessons for some reason. I don't want this AU to be an exception if the two are having a "do you think we are friends in every universe" conversation somewhere else lmao.

[shanastoryteller]

Happy Holidays! ❄️❄️ more from What They Expect please! I love that AU!

continuation of 1 2 3

It’s been well over a year since she’s seen Mustang. Al’s all aflutter about it, and how puberty has her looking like something other than a twelve year old boy, but she’s really not worried. Mustang is so involved with his own shit that he doesn’t have the time to care about hers. It would be a damning quality if it wasn’t exactly what she needed from him.

She is, sort of, a little bit worried about Riza. Not worried as in she actually thinks something is going to happen, but just that if anyone out of Mustang’s little idiot brigade would figure her out, it would be her.

Maes is a distinct possibility, but also not really. The thing that saves her, always, is that no one’s really looking. She’s loud and flashy and angry and no one thinks she’s too short to be a guy because of how sensitive she is about it and no one notices she’s pretty because they’re too busy dealing with her being mad and scowling and, with these guys, she’s got an extra ace up her sleeve.

They think they already know all her secrets.

They know about human transmutation and binding her brother’s soul to a suit of armor and every questionable and terrible thing she’s done since in her pursuit to fix it.

Why the hell would she be lying about her gender? It’s not even a thought in their heads, and if it ever becomes one, they’ll dismiss it before he even has a chance to.

Eden binds her chest tight extra tight, so her chest is nearly flat, and puts on her baggy tank top and giant red coat that hides the way her hips curve and the giant stompy boots that she really does love, sets her face in a familiar scowl, and goes off to war.

If war was child’s play, that is.

“Where have you been?” Mustang demands, towering over her and nostrils flaring.

Well. Sort of towering over her. She must have had a growth spurt, because he’s really only got a couple inches on her, which is sort of hilarious. She hadn’t noticed that he was short before. “Uh, lots of places. Haven’t you been reading my reports?”

She does not laugh in his face at the way his eyebrow ticks. She spends so much time meticulously writing everything down in dedicated code in her travelogues, she really doesn’t have the energy to spare when she gets to her reports for Mustang. Besides, he doesn’t really care what she’s doing, only that it’s big and flashy enough to distract from whatever he’s doing.

Is she supposed to know that? She can’t remember. But it’s so obvious that it doesn’t feel like something that can be a secret.

Then again, the rest of the brass haven’t caught on, so.

“What were you thinking in Liore?” he snaps.

Eden blinks. “Liore? That was forever ago. Did something happen? Rose didn’t mention anything in her last letter.”

“Yes, Edward, it was forever ago, but since you declined to answer my summons to come here and explain yourself, we’re discussing it now,” he says.

God, she’d forgotten how bitchy he gets. “Okay, well that priest guy was pretty strange-“

“I don’t care about the priest!”

She stares. She had to kill the guy twice and he doesn’t care? Honestly, she thinks it’s sort of memorable.

“What were you thinking messing with that river?”

Ed tilts her head to the side. “You’re upset about the river?”

He glares. “Of course I’m upset about the river!”

She bites the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing. Al’s really worried over nothing.

Mustang is never paying attention to the right things.

[askjonathancrane]

Incorrect Arcane Quotes which may not be 100% in character but I don’t care: part 1/?

Singed: Mint is just cold spicy.

The Squad: ...

Heimerdinger: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

Caitlyn: I dare you-

Silco: Singed is not allowed to accept dares anymore.

Caitlyn: Why not?

Singed: "I have no regard for my own or others personal safety", as some would say.

Mel: Hey, let’s mess with Viktor, guys!

Jayce: Hey, Viktor, your momma so fat-

Viktor: My mom committed multiple war crimes and is now locked in solitary confinement in a Bolivian prison.

Jinx: Well, uh- your dad-

Viktor: My father left when I was two to be captured and consequentially sacrificed by a group of feral ferrets.

Jayce: The fuck-

Ambessa: Well then...

Mel: Stop, Ambessa!

Ambessa: Your grandparents so-

Viktor: My grandmother floated into the sky like a balloon with too much helium when my grandfather spontaneously combusted.

Viktor: You cannot best me, mortals.

Caitlyn: Just took a personality test and got an A+.

Jayce: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Singed: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Silco: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Vi: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Heimerdinger: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

Viktor: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Vi: Can't relate.

Jinx: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

Jayce: New challenge! Don't say stupid shit for 24 hours!

Jinx: You’re mean!

Singed: You’re meaner!

Jinx: Yeah, well, you’re ugly too!

Singed: You’re uglier!

Jinx: You’re a dumbass!

Singed: You’re a dumberass!

Jinx: You think “dumberass” is a good insult!

Vi: I made tea.

Ekko: I don't want tea.

Vi: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.

Ekko: Then why did you tell me?

Vi: It's a conversation starter.

Ekko: It's a horrible conversation starter.

Vi: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

*At a bank teller window*

Jayce, in a bad Italian accent: I'd like-a to make-a da deposit!

Silco: HEY BUDDY, WAIT, I REMEMBER YOU!

Jayce: *Frantically pours marinara sauce into the vacuum tube*

Silco: GODDAMMIT, IT'S THEM AGAIN!

Jayce: Are you this rude to everyone?!

Ambessa: Yup.

Ambessa: Don't think you're special.

Ekko: Hey, how are you doing today?

Vi: Can we change the subject before I start crying?

Jinx: What’s the status up here?

Vi: Fucked up, about to die, Singed’s a nerd. The usual.

Ambessa: Today at 7 am, Ekko poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing.

Silco: I watched Ekko brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm.

Caitlyn: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

[soapoet]

what do you need to heal?

oof, you all deserve a hug.

01.

Shufflemancy: SENSITIVE by MOTHICA

your feelings are really potent. you feel like a pressure cooker, constantly ready to burst open. emotions are both your playground and your graveyard, it seems. you feel everything strongly, but there is almost a sense of it never being enough. you yearn for something more, something bigger and better to latch on to. you've probably been accused of being toxic once or twice, and there may be a trail of broken lines of communication behind you as a result. but you have no ill intent. you have so much to give, and all you want is equal returns for your investments. interpersonal relationships especially feel lackluster to you.

here's a storyline that might resonate: you meet someone, platonic or romantic, and sparks fly. you're so invested, they take interest in you, you're each other's favourite person, two peas in a pod, partners in crime, a dynamic duo. every day you pour your heart and soul into this connection, drop the drawbridge and invite them inside your walls to experience you and your world fully. and with every day that goes by, slowly but surely, the honeymoon phase begins to fade. their efforts lessen, even when they say you're their whole world they never seem to find the time, they stop sharing, and feel intruded upon when you inquire and poke around to see what's up. you step back, thinking yeah, alright, i just need to chill, give them space. but that just makes things worse, doesn't it? you end up feeling abandoned and the grief for what the connection once was is agonising. every time you try to rekindle the flames they lash out. you're overwhelming, nosy, obsessive, they feel cornered. oh my god, you're so toxic! and then you fight. you fight for your feelings and the relationship. they just seem to fight you. you tell them they knew what they were getting themselves into. you showed them everything. shared the deepest, darkest corners of your castle. didn't they say that it's okay, that you're perfect as you are, flaws and all, and that they'd never leave? and then they still do.

you're not a monster. you're not trying to lure people in and make their lives miserable. you simply seek companionship. the kind that seems impossible to find these days. you understand that everyone has a life of their own, things to do, and that it's okay to need time and space. what you do have a problem with is the lack of trust. when you drop your armour you need reassurance that it's not in vain and that you are safe. that your vulnerability won't be taken advantage of. you don't want to worry about whether or not you let wolves inside your castle walls. what you need to do is learn a healthy dose of discrimination. really vet the people you let in. take things slowly, and allow things to happen without having to force it. let people come to you. wield your emotions in a constructive way. if you feel like a fraud trying to fit into the whole love and light spiel, then don't force it! you're incredibly powerful. learn the art of transmutation and try to make your emotions work for you instead of against you. it may be easier said than done, but if anyone can do it, it's you.

02.

Shufflemancy: Bridges by ALIKA

stop fooling yourself. you're really making yourself jump through way too many hoops. things don't have to be an obstacle course. there isn't some long, ever-changing list of things that need to happen before what you want can happen. it's like you're running around in a hamster wheel. chasing after what ifs, looking for signs and clues, and when something doesn't align then oops, there you go, right back to the drawing board. reconfiguring things, going back and forth, fine-tuning, undoing, scrapping everything and starting all over. reading your energy feels like i'm walking into a room with crumpled papers all over the floors. and when i look at them, your plans and ideas are so good! why have you cursed yourself into this space of false starts and stagnation?

because your head is full of doubt. your mind is like the static of an old tv screen. there is so much noise, buzzing around and it's so loud you're unable to think straight. there are so many distractions. you're being pulled in so many directions. everywhere except forward. you are so focused on that first step being absolutely flawless that you'll do anything but actually take the damn step. every time you gather yourself and tell yourself alright, it's go-time my dudes, you just stand there, or notice something that you just gotta fix real quick. and before you know it, you're doing all kinds of busy work. anything to make you feel better about not doing what you want to do and feel like you're at least making some contribution toward your dreams.

you heard there would be signs that you're on the right path or that your manifestations are working, and you took that personally. you see a sign, then look for confirmation that the sign really was a sign. then you tell yourself you need to stop actively looking for signs because then you won't recognise the real signs. but uh-oh, what if you were already doing that? does that mean that the sign you noticed was a false flag and you're just delusional and just out there fooling yourself? please give me a sign that— stop. sit down. cut the noise out and just breathe. you really need to start trusting yourself. you have a vision. a path forward. you got shit to do, things to achieve. stop checking the time, the mirror, the skies... just check yourself. still want what you want? great, you got it. have some faith in yourself. refocus your energy and try to stay present. it's okay to get distracted and it's normal to doubt, just don't let the doubts and distractions rule your present moment. the light has been green this whole time, so just go.

03.

Shufflemancy: Trauma by NF

no. that's two letters, but it feels wrong in your mouth, doesn't it? like it's too big or like it'll break something. when we're drowning there is a period known as 'voluntary apnea'. our instinct to not inhale water is stronger than our need to release the buildup of carbon dioxide that occurs when we hold our breath for too long. the brain can cause us to endure the increasing terror and physical pain because of this survival instinct. and it feels like your ability to say no is behind this kind of mental block too. when you do say no to things it almost feels apologetic, and is riddled with apologies and reassurance. you don't want to do this or that, but it's just today, maybe some other time, you'll check your calendar, assure them it's not like you don't care, you're just busy, you gotta go. you'll find any excuse that sounds reasonable when you don't have one. and for what? you don't need to explain yourself. no is a full sentence.

it really feels like you're on the outside looking in. you have a fear of not just missing out, but being left behind. it's like you've convinced yourself that in order to be worthy and good you need to please everybody. maybe in your past you've been betrayed, experienced neglect or really, truly, felt all alone and without support and guidance. so when you're around people you're on your best behaviour. you listen and you are eager to learn. you adopt people's hobbies or otherwise make an effort to be there for them. people come to you for advice, you're a shoulder to cry on, a problem solver, a good time. but when you get overwhelmed, your nerves get the best of you and you need someone to lean on, you feel like you shouldn't burden people. they have better things to do. maybe they wouldn't be able to help anyway, so why bother?

in many ways you feel like a ghost. not quite sure where the influences of other people and life circumstances end and where you begin. your boundaries are so blurry it's no wonder you've accepted so many concepts of yourself that it feels like the hand of cards you were dealt are masks instead of tools. you may need some time in isolation and solitude for a while. not to say farewell to the world and become lonely, but learn to really be with yourself and figure out who you really are and who you want to be. put yourself on the operating table and start carefully removing things that don't serve your well-being. you are whole all within yourself, and i promise that it's all complete and good and worthy of so much love. you don't need to be patchwork quilt made of concepts forced upon you by the world. you're allowed to be yourself and grow in exactly the direction and at the speed that you want. there's room here under the sun for you too.

[istoleyoursk1n]

I'm obsessed with Spider-Man so bare with me here.

Imagine the reader being a human who experiments with potions and genetics, sort of like a magic user scientist. And one day they had an accident that fused them with Spider DNA, so they have the web crawling stickiness, the advanced healing and strength, and biological web shooters like Raimi Spidey, all the Spider-Man abilities. They can't replicate the experiment, so they can't find a cure and are sort of stuck all spidery.

Whether or not the companions knew the reader, and which companions you wanna write for, before the experiment I guess is up to you? Whichever would be easier is whatever I'm okay with!

This sounds dumb- 😭 but it's perfectly alr if you don't want to do this!

- 💞 anon

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

How would they react to a Tav with spider-like abilities?

(Hello again 💞 anon <3)

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: ̗̀➛ ASTARION

“Didn’t think our lovely little entourage would have an itsy bitsy spider crawling about. I’d rather not find myself webbed if we’re truly keeping you.”

He would have mixed feelings about your little situation at first. On one hand, he finds it fascinating that you possess such abilities but the other part of him finds it disgusting.

Even so, he ends up liking your spiderness anyway, there's amusement he can find in this form of yours that’ll allow him to disregard his disgust for now.

Was probably startled when he first saw you crawling across walls and ceilings. (He screamed and scolded you to cover up the fact that he nearly had a heart attack.)

He may or may not be slightly envious of the fact that you can so easily string your way across surface-to-surface without so much as breaking a sweat.

Though he would be lying if he didn't find it all the more impressive to witness. It's not every day he comes across a web shooting, ceiling crawling, possibly venomous aquantince.

Speaking of venomous, are you? If so, he'd rather never feel the sting of your bite. He’d prefer being the only one who gets the biting privileges.

Nevertheless, he’s grown to adore his spidery friend, especially when he watches you weave little cobwebs into various shapes and pictures. It's his favorite thing about your form.

: ̗̀➛ WYLL

“A… spider? Spider-human? Apologies, I’m not quite sure what you are but the pleasure is all mine. Perhaps having a rather insectoid companion of our own wouldn’t prove to be such a bad thing.”

He was definitely conflicted at first. He was somewhat of a monster slayer so did you count as one?

But then again, he was traveling with a vampire so perhaps his blade would remain sheathed and away from you for now. Besides, you prove no moral nor physical threat to him just yet.

He managed to put his own apprehensions aside in favor of learning all about you and the various abilities you possess.

He ended up getting all giddy upon seeing you demonstrate all your different abilities. It was amazing in his eyes, something he'd never quite seen before and it made him all the more compelled to befriend you properly.

You've probably been one of the few things that placed his initial beliefs about monster-like individuals aside. Not all of them are as bad as he thought now that he’s seen you.

And ever since his hellish transformation, it seems both of you have gotten yourself in some unfortunate transmutational accident. It's comforting to know that at least you understand what he's going through.

He loves fighting alongside you! Getting to see your powers put to use is an incredible sight. He feels honored to be doing so.

: ̗̀➛ GALE

“Glad to see I’m not too only one who may have dabbled in the wrong types of magic mishaps. Though, I’m sure being a tad bit more… spidery, than most has its own interesting perks.”

The most interested and confused of the bunch.

He’s off questioning how these spider-like abilities and if some sort of magic was involved in the process.

What potions did you mix together? Did you use a scroll? Perhaps you consumed something that caused the l transformation? Do you need it reversed? These are probably but a handful of questions he immediately voices out.

He truly does hope the entire transformation didn't hurt as much as suspected it would. That would be quite unfortunate wouldn't it?

Nevertheless, everything about your abilities is absolutely fascinating to him. Perhaps having a spidery companion could be quite intimidating but it does have its pros.

Both of you spin weaves in your own ways so there's that adorable little detail.

Though he has tried helping you reverse the effects of your situation, nothing he’s tried has done anything to get you back to normal. He was a little bit upset over the fact that he may have disappointed you but a little reassurance from you would put him back together.

Even so, he's already grown quite fond of your spidery self, and as long as you’re okay with it, he’d continue to adore it for days to come.

: ̗̀➛ KARLACH

“Fuck yeah! A goddman half spider?! Just when I thought this group couldn't be any less cooler. Say, how's it like being all spidery?”

Freaked the fuck out (lovingly) when she first saw your abilities. You’re the coolest thing she's seen in a while and she can't help but be utterly amazed by you.

You can climb walls too?! Heck, she’d kill to have an ability like that. She loves watching you scurry around walls and roofs like it's no big deal, she even tried to catch you at some point like a little game.

There are so many things about you she's currently fawning over that it's almost overwhelming. She’d be jumping about in delight the moment you use your web shooters to easily latch onto a nearby tree.

You two have probably gone around chasing one another for fun with the use of your own special powers, it's turned into some sort of playful little distraction when the journey gets too rough.

And to think your spidery strength nearly matches her own? You’re practically perfect in her eyes, a companion she's only dreamed of having.

She's spent lots of time wistfully staring as you weave tiny little webs for your own amusement, even making one in the shape of a star to impress your fiery friend. She loves it all the same.

: ̗̀➛ SHADOWHEART

“Well, I suppose I was never against having a spider join our strange little group. I’ll let you know if I ever need you to clamber onto a wall or two.”

As long as you use such spidery powers for the betterment of the group then she has zero qualms about you.

There's something rather amusing about watching you crawl across walls and whatnot, a strange ability she hasn't quite seen anyone but you possess.

Would remind you that there's zero shame in having powers such as yours, she’ll be the one to reassure you that you’re unique in your own interesting little way.

As long as the venom you have in your system is used against your foes, she isn't all too intimidated by your presence.

Generally only has neutral feelings about this strange form of yours, she’d even find some of your little spidery aspects adorable in her eyes.

There have been occasions when seeing you startle a friend or foe with your crawling abilities made her giggle but she has never once shamed you for it.

She could spend hours simply watching you weave tiny little webs, she encourages you to decorate the camp with them if the others don't mind the extra cobwebs of course.

: ̗̀➛ LAE’ZEL

“Chk, spider or not, just make sure your insectoid abilities are put to something more useful than weaving fragile little webs lest you find yourself being yet another pest.”

She didn't care much for your abilities, as long as they proved to be useful to her which fortunately they were.

Your little alchemical mistake seemed to prove to be advantageous in the long run as you were able to help her in a handful of battles.

Your web strings proved to be a resource for her (somehow she found a way to innovate such a thing) as she would often use them as a better bowstring.

Soon enough, her disregard for you turned into admiration, one that she didn't hesitate to tell you directly.

Though her admiration was a tad bit bold, it was something you were certainly flattered by. At least she isn't as unknowingly offensive as before.

If you were willing enough to lend your assistance, she would have used your venom as a coating for her blades by now. Using such a deadly substance to easily smite her foes.

Your increase in strength rivals her own, one that sparks a vibrant flame in her roughened heart. She favors the moments when she gets to witness you in the midst of combat.

Safe to say she enjoys your company and values your worth. Don't ever feel shame for possessing such a spidery form because it's certainly something she’s fond of.

: ̗̀➛ HALSIN

“A spider? Well isn't that quite the surprise? Of all the tiny spiders I've encountered, I’ve never quite seen one as undeniably remarkable as you.”

No matter the creature, he’d always come to value them, and that includes you!

You’ll never feel ashamed of yourself against with this man constantly praising you for what you are, spider-like abilities and all.

If you ever decide to use your powers to crawl atop him, he’d adore it. In fact, he’d laugh as you do so in the softest chuckle you've ever heard him let out. He’d allow you to stay there for as long as you please, he truly doesn't mind.

Seeing you so easily get from tree to tree is quite an impressive sight, silvanus knows he isn't quite as nimble or as graceful as you. This only gives him more of a reason to admire you more.

Was smitten the moment you showed him how you weave webs.

While he has seen little spiders do so, seeing you turn ordinary cobwebs into beautiful shapes melted his heart.

Show him a web you've made in the shape of a bear and you’d make his entire day. His only wish is for this little web of yours to forever be preserved for years to come. He simply can't get over how adorable it is.

In truth, you are a magnificent creature in his eyes, one he finds himself fawning over from afar. Words couldn't express how special you are to him.

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[i-heart-hxh]

Do you think Illumi’s comment about how Gon is just dazzling to Killua and a temporary fixation and Hisoka’s line about how transmitters are fickle and their treasures can turn to trash easily were foreshadowing for how Killua has come to see Gon? How at first Gon meant the world to him but now he’s basically done with him because of what happened during the CAA? Togashi could be planning to reunite them, but maybe this was his way of saying that Killua is done with Gon.

Hi! I actually see it in the opposite way to this view, almost.

As the audience I don't think we're supposed to agree with what Illumi is saying--that Killua doesn't deserve to have friends and that he'll ultimately betray them. It doesn't end up matching what happens in the series, nor does it match the overall message of what the series is about, and Illumi is an antagonist whose views the series repeatedly refutes (think: Alluka and how he sees her).

However, I also think that early in the series, Togashi was potentially trying to misdirect the audience with Killua's intentions. Killua early on was much more dangerous and edgy than he becomes as the series goes on, and there were a few pieces of foreshadowing that he might turn on Gon or the main group, which includes Hisoka's statement about Transmuters being fickle and their priorities changing rapidly, as well as Silva making him promise never to betray his friends and then expressing certainty that Killua will come back (as in, he was setting him up for failure because of the needle). There are also a few comparisons of Killua to Hisoka very early on that might fit into this (beyond the Transmuter thing), some even from Killua himself, and the scene with him getting frustrated with the ball game with Netero and then killing those guys as a result.

I believe Togashi laid this expectation down early in the series in order to subvert it and have Killua grow in the opposite direction. Killua felt like a "rival" type character or one who might eventually betray Gon/his friends, but instead he ends up being extraordinarily loyal to Gon (to a fault, even), he gets kinder and emotionally stronger as the series goes on, and he goes to extreme lengths to save Gon even after Gon pushed him away. He actively defies what his family expects of him! Even when he does go back home as Silva predicted, it's in order to break Alluka out of there and leave, and keep his promise to Silva by never betraying his friends--the opposite of what Silva actually wanted to happen when he made that promise with Killua.

Illumi's comment about Gon being "too dazzling for Killua's eyes" actually "comes back" in the form of the You are Light scene, where Killua uses similar language (in the original Japanese version) to describe why he can't look at Gon directly. That whole scene is about Killua comparing himself to Gon and thinking he's not worthy of him. However, Gon ends up falling into darkness himself and only Killua is able to save him--therefore, Killua becomes Gon's "light" right back. Because of what Illumi told Killua and the environment he grew up in, Killua himself didn't have faith in his own ability to be who Gon needed, but he managed it anyway because of how deeply he loves Gon.

He helps break Palm out of her loss of identity after she becomes a Chimera Ant, and becomes Ikalgo's light, too, by befriending him even though they're initially on opposite sides of the war.

We don't know the full reasons for Killua leaving Gon, however I suspect one of the reasons he leaves is in order to protect Gon from Illumi, who very well may pursue and endanger Killua and Alluka. Killua likely also needed a break from Gon after all they went through, but I don't think it'll be forever by any means. I made a post previously about why a reunion and reconciliation between them feels just about inevitable.

So, I absolutely do think those statements about Killua were "planted" intentionally within the series, but for the purpose of him breaking those assumptions rather than living up to them. One of the best things about Killua's character is how he initially seems so much different than he turns out to be. His commitment to and care for those he loves comes from a pure place in spite of the way he was raised, and he grows so much as a person throughout the series. He's a kind and courageous boy. I don't see him leaving Gon as a betrayal or throwing him away or legitimately "replacing" Gon with Alluka--they just came to a point where, for the time being, they had to take diverging paths. But I absolutely think their paths will converge again within the series, assuming Togashi can get that far.

I don't think Togashi is telling a depressing story where these tragic things happen between the two protagonists (who clearly adore each other) and then that's it, their relationship is over and they'll never get to mend the issues between them nor communicate all the things they haven't gotten to say to each other. There's a reason the separation is as brief and complicated as it is--it's intended to leave us with questions, and I believe those questions will be answered someday, assuming the manga is able to reach that point.

[margoshamangolord]

FOLKS I FINISHED BEAST WARS (thoughts and spoilers under cut)

1. The timeline is absolutely unique, i love how optimus and megatron aren't even optimus and megatron and how bw relates to g1

2. The graphics will never be an issue to me, it's more than enough for the time period and it's much more than watchable. I'm in love with the slimy cgi and didn't pay much attention to the quality. All i can see is designers and animators having fun

3. I think that the designs gradually got a little fucked up but it's okay

4. I really enjoyed Blackarachnia's character, she was so interesting for me! I'm not aware of the fandom's general opinion on her but she's my special girl now

5. There was like at least 5 times more on-screen gay kissing than straight kissing

6. If you didn't understand how insane i am about dinotrap from my previous posts then now i can say it's my #1 pairing,, i rarely have a fav ship when i watch something because of The Multishipper Curse that makes me think about too much characters together but for bw specifically i have a favourite. Usually I'm a little turned away from dynamics that are built on characters insulting each other but it's a special case, because they definitely share a bond and i can ramble for hours

7. Bw optimus is my 3rd place fav after tfp and tfa respectively (because they're a classic) (even though i know it's not even him) he's very much of a Some Guy who is Hungry And Needs a Nap and i like how he's just. a person. like a leader but he's just a guy come on. probably for the same reasons i love tfa op, i like seeing him get mean and angry and worried and yelling at his team and then understanding that he was wrong. my man

8. The predacons are so chaotic it's insane. The lack of a (main character i mean) Starscream is not noticed because there's not one con trying to take over, not two, not three, but I'm pretty sure everyone in the whole goddamn team has attempted it at least one time during the show.

9. And, with lack of Starscream, Megatron took all the cuntiness for himself. He stands out insanely among other continuities (again it's not him so). That voice? Thanks David Kaye!!! He's doing the whole dramatic hot villain thing that Tumblr loves, with blood baths and everything, and it deserves to be noticed. Megop is the classic tumblr dramatic villain x tired hero stuff you see in like 2016 writing prompts and everything. Megatron is insane here

10. I really enjoyed Dinobot. I cannot say this loud enough but he is my second fav after Rattrap because he's a really interesting and conflicted character. You see him as inherently evil? He does a beautiful gesture of kindness. You see him as good? He fails to disobey his nature. It goes on and on until his last eps. The betrayal? I was sobbing. That scene when he's on his knees with a sword? It fucked me up. The episode ending had me on the FLOOR.

11. I'm conflicted on dinobot 2 because on one hand, i do appreciate how it is shown how actually fucked up megatron and his schemes are. He's insane, and he's obsessed: he doesn't try to make any super soldier or whatever, but specifically wants to bring back dinobot and make him stay. And he fails, because it *is* dinobot deep inside, and that brings him down; his real sense of honor. He won't stay. His sacrifice was insane. But on the other hand, i actually didn't want Dinobot to be actually brought back. Sounds very nice but i think his actual death was really a point to his character that made me love him more. And when i saw Dinobot 2, i was kinda hoping that he would be an empty shell, an attempt, that it would be a plan Megatron put too much hope into, and that it's *not* dinobot, just a copy without a mind. Maybe im just weird sorey

12. Transmutate is gender

13. I love rhinox but it's sad that they didn't make him stand out as a character like the other maximals. He rarely got to be a main character, and even when he got to, he was just the butt of a joke and didn't get to build relationships and resolve personal problems like his teammates did. Or maybe i just wasn't looking at the screen when he did who knows. He's my big weird man

14. I enjoyed Tigatron and his conflict about the conflict so much

15. I'm actually sometimes a little disoriented/lost when watching something so i just straight up didn't notice half the character deaths??? I was just wondering where they went and then went oh.

16. who the Vok are the Vok. I wish they weren't Just Mysterious Aliens but more than that

17. Why did they keep making all of the characters so trans it's not funny im in tears

18. Beast wars was absolutely made for goddamn freaks im sorry. i loved it

19. I think everyone at the studio was gay for megatron. Why else did they animate the scene where he's in the bath wiggling his dinosaur toes

20. WASPINATOR FUCKING HAPPY AT LAST

[smolgloves]

The Wizard and The Herbalist

Summary: Gale and Freya put their skills together for the perfect potion

Tw: mentions of crushing? Nothing too crazy, this is all fluff

I think I got it!” The wizard exclaimed as he paced around his tent with a book in hand. Curiosity had taken hold of Freya near the campfire, Gale was so engrossed in whatever he was reading that he was absentmindedly walking around for the past hour. She didn't dare go near him during his trance lest she wanted to get stepped on, he normally was more aware of the borrower's presence but after that one time involving the fish barrel… Pushing those thoughts aside, Freya ambled over to Gale.

“What are you on about?”

Gale smiled down at the borrower. “Ah Freya, I was just about to look for you.”

“I was near the campfire.” She giggled, then raised an eyebrow at him. “But tell me, why were you going to look for me?”

Gale knelt down on the terrain, stifling a groan along the way down and flipped the book over to Freya. She noticed the images of Sylvan stone and a Gauth eye. “I think I have found a way to make the size reduction spells more effective!”

Freya cocked an eyebrow. “Effective how?”

There was a joyful gleam in the wizard's eye. "I could reduce the height of one of our companions to a range closer to your height.”

She stared up at Gale with wide eyes. There wasn't many times others had shrunk down; if they needed to sneak into any place that required crawling through a crack in the wall, Freya was always the first to volunteer, but when they shrunk, they still towered over her. Freya only reached their knees, which was less daunting than the usual, but it still wasn't like talking to a borrower. She missed being able to talk to someone in the eyes without craning her neck or being able to wrap her arms around someone in a full embrace. As comforting as it can be to be held in a hand, physical contact was still so much different than before, she never would have realized how much she would miss the little things like that. “You're kidding.”

“Quite the contrary.” Gale pointed at the eye on the page. “The Gauth eye is said to make spells much more potent. So say we add ingredients that are used to make potions that deal with size shifting and I drink it….”

“Then you can do a more powerful reduction spell!” She beamed.

“Spot on.” His smile grew. “And I think I know of a little herbalist who could help me.”

“Then what are we waiting for? Let's get to it!”

~~~~

Back at home, Freya spent time in the greenhouse making potions and salves all day, but she never brewed anything beyond healing elixirs before. Skaars Hollow never had any type of ingredients that could let her experiment with doing anything as advanced as transmutation! Gale gathered the supplies and went to work grinding up the gauth eye and sylvan stone, while Freya oversaw the progress of it all, making sure the ingredients were mashed to perfection before they began the potion brewing.

At last, the potion was complete, it stood tall over the borrower, holding an orange liquid within. Freya stared at with wide eyes. “Do you think it's ready?”

“I believe we gave it enough time to settle.” Rubbing his chin, Gale tentatively grabbed the bottle and popped off the lid. “In a normal trial, one would run tests to make sure this was safe to drink… but I trust your expertise.”

Freya couldn't help the grin that stretched across her face. “You're the one who did the work.”

He smiled. “True, but your guidance was instrumental to the success of this.”

Despite the swelling pride growing in her, Freya couldn't help but shy away from the praise. “I think you should talk less and drink the potion.”

Gale laughed under his breath before pressing the bottle to his lips. The orange liquid disappeared down his gullet, no drop was left behind. Gale took a breath. “Not the worst potion I've drank, but the taste is left to be desired.”

“But did it work?” The anticipation in her voice was palpable.

“There's only one way to find out.” With a flick of the wrist, Gale's hand lit up, a pale blue light snaked down from his fingertips to his palm. He pressed his hand to his chest and with a smile, he uttered a phrase: “Diminue.”

Gale dwindled in size before Freya's very eyes, she watched as he disappeared beneath the table, normally a larger one would just reach a low table such as the one by the wizard's tent. Freya dashed to the edge and peered over it. There Gale was, waving up at her at tiny height, this needed to be seen up close! Freya undid her grappling hook and descended down to the rocky ground.

It almost felt like a dream walking up to Gale; a larger being now reduced to five inches. This should have been a work of fiction, but when she reached out with a shaky hand and brushed against his arm she realized just how real this was.

“Gale, you beautiful bastard, you did it!” The shrill joy could not be contained! Freya pulled him into an embrace.

“Well this certainly is more comfortable than staying on one's knees for an extended amount of time.” Gale said with a titter.

“Or constantly looking up.”

Gale pulled away, glancing around the world around them, his tent loomed over like a building, his books became towers, and rocks became boulders. “I must say, the world feels vastly different from your point of view.”

Freya raised a brow. “Care to elaborate?”

“Sometimes, this world feels small, like you could explore Faerun before your life is over.” Gale fixated past the sandy beach to the murky waters ahead, his brown eyes wide with wonder. “But at this height, I'm looking at a world I'm familiar with, and I'm coming to the realization that there is so much more to this world than I have ever known.”

“I'd agree with you, but I've only ever known this perspective of the world.” Freya stood beside Gale, his wonder had spread to her. “Maybe one day you could show me that side of the world.”

“It would be my honor.��� A smirk spread across his face. “But first, I want to explore the campgrounds through your eyes.”

“But of course.” Freya began walking, motioning for him to follow her. She was accustomed to walking around this rocky terrain, stepping over pebbles that would have been missed by larger beings. If only Gale was as aware. He stepped onto some loose rubble and nearly stumbled into Freya. Immediately, he began to revert back to his normal height.

Freya gasped out, for a moment, she feared the wizard would fall into her but he fortunately braced himself, his arms on either side of her and his face a mere inches from the tiny lady.

“Gods, I'm terribly sorry, Freya.” Gale quickly sat up to give her some space. “It seems this spell requires more concentration than a normal reduce spell.”

Despite the near death experience, Freya couldn't help but laugh. The spell was short lived but there was hope. “I think we'll have to do a few more trials before we attempt that again.”

[triflesandparsnips]

So I was, as per normal, thinking again about Stede just collapsing into the cabin-kiss, and like-- we talk a lot about how Stede had just killed a guy, he was maybe not in the best headspace for sexy times, but--

in looking around for a kiss gif (AS PER NORMAL), I saw this one too:

...and I've been wondering and wondering about that face, right? Stede's face. A bit silly, kind of the embodiment of "smiling helplessly", a phrase that sounds bad out of context but usually appears when someone is just absolutely delighted by the existence of something-- or someone-- doing something ridiculous and amazing...

And it occurred to me that: Stede went to hide in his room so he could freak out, right? He's used to hiding, or trying to hide, how he feels when it comes to the childhood trauma stuff. And he's used to literally hiding in his cabin unless/until someone approaches that he has to mask back up for-- we see that all the way back in the very first episode of season 1.

But that night? The person who approached was Ed.

And not there asking him to be 'the captain'. Not telling him to 'man up' about the killing thing. Not even asking him to be the Romantic Lead or the Lost Love Return'd, roles Stede had been eager and wanting to play but just. not right now.

It could've gone wrong. Stede didn't say "come in"-- he didn't say anything at all, just opened the door, maybe expecting-- god, what he's gotten before, every single other time his entire life--

And Ed... changes the script.

He doesn't step in, doesn't break Stede's boundary, doesn't ask for anything from Stede. He just wants to see if Stede's okay. And more than that: By providing his own feelings about killing his dad, he's letting Stede know that, for the record? Stede doesn't have to be okay.

So... so for maybe the first time that Stede can remember-- or at least maybe the first time we see on-screen-- Stede is hurting, and. And someone comes to comfort him.

No ulterior motives. No quid pro quo. No requirement that he feel one way or another, be this or that kind of person.

Someone-- no, not just someone, Ed, who knows Stede, who's seen him and understood him and could ask so much from Stede if he wanted to-- just sees that he's hurting, and wants to help.

And like-- have you ever felt that kind of kindness? It's heady enough when it's a stranger. But when it's someone you know, someone you care about, someone you trust (hope, pray that you can trust) to hold the delicate, vulnerable heart of you--

Fuck, okay, that face, that silly face, that face that says nothing but looks like it's about to cry and to laugh and it's heartbreak for the past that never felt that kind of comfort and wonder for the person who made it possible in the present and it all adds up to just smiling helplessly--

Listen.

They say that in musicals, songs happen when a character's feelings are too strong for mere dialogue to contain.

I say that in this moment, Stede's actions aren't because he's addled from the kill, but because his feelings-- what love can mean beyond "romance", what it does, what it gives, what it allows, what it makes possible-- rise up and over and wash his hands against Ed's jacket and twist them both to the wall, and then, and then--

just collapse him into that warm embrace, where all the hundred thousand words he could try to find to explain what this love feels like can, for a short while at least, be transmuted into a form that can say them all at once.

[jeannereames]

Hello Dr. Reames I hope you’re doing well

I have a question. I was reading everything you’ve written on your blog about alexander and hephaistion and in a post you mentioned that as alex and hephaistion became older their relationship became more complicated. Could you expand more on what you mean by that? In what ways did it become complicated?

Why Alexander and Hephaistion as Lovers as Adults was “Complicated”

I’m not entirely sure whether the asker means the historical people, or the characters in my novel, so I’ll answer for both, as the answer is somewhat the same, but in the book, I can add more specificity. One must be more circumspect about the historical people.

First, if they were never lovers (the historical people), then the only complication would have been Alexander’s increasing power. No matter how much freedom Hephaistion had, the murder of Kleitos showed that a drunk, furious Alexander could do terrible things, even to people he considered like family. As ATG aged, he had more cause for anger, and he also drank more.* So there was that.

But returning to the question of whether they were lovers, my colleague Sabine Müller doesn’t think they were—largely because she believes they met as adults. And THAT gets to the heart of why—if they were lovers—their relationship would have become more complicated across time. They aged.

The Greeks placed homoerotic attachments among the stages of life. A preteen/young teen was the beloved, or pursued partner (eromenos). Once he got a beard, post 18-ish (e.g., ephebe age), then one became the lover, or pursuer (erastes). Any relationship one had previously enjoyed with an older lover was expected to transmute into very close friendship/affection. Then, around the late 20s/early 30s, one would settle down and get married. It was still all right to chase younger boys, but only for a little while. Doing it too long earned “dirty old man” status, although we have evidence of older (40+, even 50+) elite men doing just that. Also, males of any age could pursue affairs with hetairai and other prostitutes (male or female), as well as with slaves of any age.

Two adult men still “carrying on” as if they were teens/young men was considered unseemly. By the time both were past 20, and certainly past 25, they shouldn’t still be having sex with each other. Although if they’d been long-time lovers as youths, they might get nods for loyalty (v. the playwright Agathon and his long-time lover, Pausanias) … and friends didn’t ask what they did behind closed doors. But this was easier to pull off as a slightly counter-culture artist playwright than a king and his increasingly important marshal.

So that’s why Alexander and Hephaistion would have experienced complications as they aged—assuming they stayed lovers. And they may not have. Even if, as youths, they were lovers, as adults, they could each have moved on. Curtius names other youths (not just Bagoas) with whom Alexander might have had a fling. It’s subtle in the text, but the Latin word used could imply something. We don’t have similar attestations for Hephaistion, but I wouldn’t expect us to, so that’s meaningless. Remember, our histories are laser-focused on Alexander, with details about other marshals appearing only if/when they matter to the main story. So, we have the name of Philotas’ mistress only because she became Krateros’ source for dirt on what Philotas said about Alexander as pillow talk. If not for that, we wouldn’t even know he had a mistress. Ergo, we MUST assume there’s a lot of information about the men in high positions around Alexander that our sources simply don’t relate (and perhaps didn’t know).

Now, in terms of Dancing with the Lion, the age thing very much is the problem, as Hephaistion is the elder but Alexandros king. They can continue a relationship for a short while (a few years), but AS KING, Alexandros would be assumed to be the “active” partner (erastes), and that would damage Hephaistion’s reputation—because he’s older (and was originally the erastes). For an older male to accept the passive role (bottoming) was demeaning, making himself “like a woman.”

That’s why the penultimate scene in Dancing with the Lion: Rise is so important! Hephaistion “flips the script,” explaining why he considers bottoming the position of power—startling Alexandros, who never thought about it that way.

Going forward, their friends will ignore any continuation and not examine it too closely due to respect for their loyalty to each other. But this works only for a little while. After Granikos and leading up to Issos, the pressure is on for Alexandros to find a nice girl to make his mistress and move Hephaistion into the role of Older Friend (without benefits)—which he does with Barsine. Yet I don’t plan to have them entirely give up their romantic liaison, so that requires concealment for Hephaistion’s benefit. And it’s not fully successful. Some push back against Hephaistion by enemies does owe to disrespect for his “preferences.”

But keep in mind, I’m speaking now of the fictional characters, not necessarily the historical people. My Hephaistion is pretty high on the Kinsey Scale, in the 5-6 range. Keeping the respect needed to command successfully as his political star rises means he must wear a mask, or find a beard, to use slang. One of the (several) points behind my series is to show it wasn’t necessarily any easier to be gay in “tolerant” ancient Greece. It was just difficult in different ways.

———————

* Before anyone asks, no I don’t think Alexander was an alcoholic, even a “functional” one. There’s literally not enough evidence to say for sure, pace J. M. O’Brien (Alexander the Great and the Invisible Enemy). O’Brien may not call him an alcoholic, but he certainly implies it.

We have two complicating factors that make any sort of real determination difficult: first, the nature of banqueting at the Macedonian court, and second, the fact that historians record the exceptional, not the usual. Symposia (drinking parties) in the Greek world were already venues for both competition and display, and Macedonians didn’t customarily dilute their wine, unlike (many) Southern Greeks. The king was not only expected to keep up, but to excel in all things, including his ability to drink. So there’s that. Add to this the fact historians don’t tell you about the 56 times the king held a symposion where nothing exciting or out-of-the-way happened. They’ll tell you about that 57th when something bad DID happen.

Even in antiquity, there was debate about whether Alexander drank too much, with detractors and Roman-era rhetoricians using him as an exempla of Drinking is Bad (especially in rulers), while apologists (like Aristobulos) claimed he didn’t overdrink, he just liked conversation so he stayed late, lingering over his wine.

Hmmm. I’m going with Door Number Three: yes, sometimes he drank too much, especially as stresses piled up, but if he’d been an actual alcoholic, even a functional one, he probably couldn’t have accomplished everything he did. For one thing, availability of alcohol on the march would’ve been sporadic, so I suspect those famous drinking parties were what happened when they got their hands on some wine, in between long stretches where they probably didn’t have much, if any.

[sepublic]

I do wish they brought back Al’s identity crisis when the Homunculi’s nature as failed resurrections, and their imperfect memories, was brought to light. Because in 2003, Al’s crisis is also foreshadowing to this, so it’d come full circle.

I understand if the writers felt like they would’ve been retreading old ground in doing so. But there’s so much potential in Alphonse considering the possibility that he’s a homunculus soul attached to a suit of armor, and the kicker comes in meeting a homunculus who wants to be bound to armor, just like Al, because of Al!

It doesn’t matter if Edward intended/realized this (which would absolve him in Al’s eyes at least), it’s possible that Alphonse genuinely died from the transmutation of Sloth, given his body was obliterated completely. And so what Ed did was create a second homunculus, attempt a second human transmutation, but because he didn’t have the materials to make a new body (or didn’t consider using Sloth as those materials), he had to bind the new soul to armor for it to be tangible.

Of course, Alphonse has memories that Ed doesn’t; Does this mean that both him and the Homunculi are real? Or does it just mean that somewhere within the Gate is the original, and the Gate copied their memories to produce a homunculus? If Alphonse is real then so is Sloth, meaning Edward can’t kill her. Or maybe they have to anyway, for the sake of self-defense because Sloth would still be in denial of her past regardless.

What would it mean for Lust? Would she believe Alphonse is real, and thus consider herself that way, without a doubt? Would she still desire her original body, regardless of an identity crisis? Tbf I’d hate to have been literally whitewashed, and would indeed want to reconnect with my community.

It’s sad because Alphonse has a third party in Winry that he can cross-reference his memories with to affirm he’s the original. But the isolated relationship the Homunculi have with Dante makes it basically impossible to do that; Lust might’ve had the chance if she got to talk with Scar about it, at least. Envy seems to consider himself the original regardless. The rest don’t seem to have much anxiety, tbh…

But with Sloth? She might want to cross-reference, if only to prove to the Elrics she’s not real. But what if she is? What if the verification proves it? They’d never stop harassing her either way; Either she’s their mom and better go back to it, or she’s not real and Edward does what he does in canon.

Mayhaps memories don’t mean much if Homunculi are born with different personalities, because nature vs nurture, two people with the exact same experiences might choose differently because of genetic personality traits. Or maybe it’s proof that Trisha actually felt this way all along, and this is the real her.

Trisha had kids at a really young age, maybe she regretted committing to that life so quickly (or even, at all). That could’ve been a secret she took to the grave… Only to not be so secret after all. Maybe Sloth felt empowered to say how she truly felt by pretending she wasn’t Trisha anyway, because if she said that while thinking of herself as Trisha, it’d mean betraying her sons and she loves them too much to do that either. It’s complicated.

But, back to Alphonse; Given 2003 was always planned to be divergent and the writers did work to establish this early on with Sloth herself, it makes me think that I dunno. They could’ve pushed Al’s identity crisis to this later part of the story, if they wanted to avoid repeating the same conflict? But if you apply Al’s proof that he’s real, then it might answer the ambiguity of the Homunculi and thus ruin that uncertainty.

That, or you’d have to end the series implying that the Al in flashbacks is dead, and the one we see is a different character. When Al gets his body back, he doesn’t retain memories of everything that happened when he was a suit of armor; What if Ed had created a clone the whole time, while the real Alphonse was trapped beyond the gate? And that clone used up his soul as part of the Philosopher’s Stone to save Ed, who then unwittingly brought back the real Alphonse? That could be too bleak, even for the writers of 2003. Obviously Conqueror of Shamballa clears it up but man.

[silversailormoan]

Want to write a FMAB fanfic so bad (but I have skill issues when it comes to plotty fics) where one of the souls inside Hohenheim is the crown prince of Xerxes and he's very determined. Determined for what exactly even he doesn't know– since it's not like he can bring his people back– but he's determined all the same. Determined to not stay with Hohenheim, maybe. Determined to go and do something, maybe.

Whatever the motivation, he manages to slip by and get into Ed's body instead during some innocuous event or the other. Maybe Hohenheim was showing the boys alchemy, maybe he was doing alchemy and the boys sneaked up on him, either way, Ed was touching him or the array or somehow, he ended up in little Ed's body.

Fascinating how this'd change the story with Ed having another soul whispering to him. He still ignores his every warning and does human transmutation. Prince/soul is pissed off because to him, the brothers are the only remaining Xerxians and his foolishness nearly made that number go to zero. The soul whispering stories of Xerxes to keep Ed company while he heals from his surgery. It's fascinating, but all Ed can focus on is the grief, the bitterness in his voice.

(it's a thousand fold of what he felt when he lost his mother, and he sees where the soul was coming from when he got angry at them. just a little.)

The soul giving Ed little helpful nudges here and there when it comes to manners. Ed's still Ed, but he'd had The Voice with him as long as he can remember and sometimes it's hard to know where Ed ends and Prince begins. Sometimes he's just a little more graceful. Sometimes his hands shake, overwhelmed by waves of anger for people he didn't know and a country beyond his time. Ed is honest, brash, and sincere, but Prince gives him careful nudges here and there, knows how to manipulate and when they're being manipulated.

(both of them don't mind when mustang does it. but ed doesn't want to play in the political game either, so he reigns in prince before the soul goes overboard with his strategizing and reminds him of why they're here.)

Ed learning about the whole dirty backstory of what happened to Xerxes in the most flippant of conversations, because while prince tells him a lot about the country itself, he deems Ed too young to know the ugly truth.

(and tries desperately to convince himself that it's not because he's terrified of sharing the knowledge. that it's not because he's too jaded and hateful to trust this one child that he has seen grow before his very eyes. that he's not scared of the power this kid can and has wielded, that he wonders how far he'd go for his little brother.)

The Soul never expects it to come out from a half bitter joke about how Ed's probably the last crown prince of Xerxes now, Ed snarking back with a reminder that he's just a soul that hitched a ride and Ed's a separate person, thank you very much. He never expected the discussion to develop from just fooling around to a full blown argument about how "you need to accept that your country is gone and let go of the past" (he thinks it's rich, coming from Edward Elric) and "stop running away from your roots (Ed sparks up at that, because he'd always be Trisha's son, first. No amount of Hohenheim's blood can change that). It's their second big argument other than the human transmutation one, and somehow this leads to The Soul finally opening up about what exactly happened in Xerxes.

He doesn't know anything other than what he's put together after listening in to Hohenheim talk for all those centuries, and it's the ignorance that chafes at him more than anything, but he tells the child everything he knows. (He tries to end it with a joke about technically Hohenheim staged a coup against the royal family and won, so Ed would be the last crown prince–and that's what he originally meant anyway– but judging by the kid's pale face and faraway eyes, he doubts Ed heard him.)

They both have a shared dark humor though, and one time Ed ended up laughing for ten minutes straight when it hit him that he has a body-less soul and a soul-less body with him, and he can't help either. (It's not a good laugh.)

Just,,,, so many possibilities

[mantisgodsart]

[Tonight I dreamed of teeth and claws and what felt like a million grasping hands chasing me through an endless field. The air smelled of sulphur and acid, and I could tell something was watching me, far beneath the moss and earth.

I woke to find I had been shedding wing scales in my sleep, and that apparently one of my primary containment chambers was registering a foreign presence within it. The only thing there when I checked, however, was Mal, who is supposed to be there - and certainly not supposed to be registering as an intruder.

I hope I don't have to update containment over this. Rescribing every little knot in the weave every time I need to strengthen or add to it gets tiring, when you have to do it multiple times a month. Maybe I should start looking for an apprentice again, if only so I don't have to maintain the entire laboratory myself.

There's an old joke about this sort of thing, charmsmiths only getting an apprentice when they need to make sure someone's take down notes about the experiment that kills them. I'd like to think it's more simply making sure that my knowledge doesn't die with me...]

One of the two left over from @bug-oc Round 1, Mal from @sushiikando gets a post all to their own, just like a Round 2 contestant! This is both because zey're a big/complicated design and because we... really aren't gonna be done Pola any time soon. Which is probably what we get for making a comic, even a short comic, while in the time of summer where we actively struggle to think. Oh, well. We'll get it done eventually.

More details under cut, as usual - despite our enthusiasm for walls of text, we don't particularly want to completely obliterate your dashboard. We're getting kicked in the dick by fatigue right now, so further ones might take a bit - we've got Maria sketched out, and Pola's comic only really needs painting and accompanying story, so all fates willing, it shouldn't be too too much of a holdup. There's an abundance of things that we would LOVE to be doing right now, but heat does awful things to our brain, we're still feeling off from being sick, and with tourism season in swing to boot even with our current medication it's an uphill battle to get ourself to do anything at the moment. Hopefully, this clears up soon. For now, we're still very much alive.

First things first - wow, this one took a few drafts. Although not really an originally anticipated difficulty, the lack of reference of just what Mal looks like under that coat made a lot of our original ideas fall a bit flat unless we wanted to make something up from whole cloth. Marigold's transmutations don't include clothes by default, since actively incorporating inanimate objects into an animate body is both difficult and much, much fussier than usual when you're using Marigold's particular methods.

We tried a few initial designs that stopped at that point, then tried at incorporating the coat into the design more properly a la the more "abstract" brews, but after a few fell flat, we sort of... just started throwing spaghetti at the wall, so to speak, and spaghetti stuck. The body patterns here are, for the most part, entirely made up. Maybe the patterns distorted, maybe they didn't - we don't know what's under the coat and we will likely never learn. It's probably fine.

Our primary inspiration here is eastern dragons, particularly the mythos of the koi who climbed the waterfall - the colors and patterns of Mal's design reminded us of koi patterns on first glance, and after a few drafts, we started running with the concept, using both Mal's wings and the shape of the lab coat for "fins". Runaway To The Stars's Bug Ferrets also provided some inspiration (particularly in the face - if you click the link, those mandibles might start looking very familiar).

We also took some amount of inspiration from theveryworstthing's REMwolf series, particularly Laika and The Morriss Dragon, though a lot of the particularly body-horror-y and sillhouette-breaking effects we might have wanted to include in a more detailed piece got nixed by a lack of time. We cannot take the duration of the entire tournament to draw one Round 1 contestant, unfortunately. Even if we wish we could've gotten a bit more detailed, and we very much would've liked to tinker with working in some design elements akin to Sea Legs or Guard Dog or Biology Lab, we're very nearly a full month overdue by now. We have other contestants to paint, and so we must move on.

...fuck, this took a while. Thank you for being patient with us while our brain's scaffolding falls to pieces! We dearly appreciate it. Hope you have an excellent summer!

[eahtheramblings]

Your rewrite post appeared on my dash today and I'm loving everything that you've written! Do you think you could do a rewrite of Cerise? I saw her mentioned in Kitty's post and I'm interested to hear more of your ideas!

Cerise holds the title of one of my favorite characters alongside Raven, Apple, and Duchess, which means I put her through. So. So much. 

Also to talk about Cerise I have to talk about Ramona for a bit too, so y'all can consider this a 2 in 1!

For starters, Cerise’s wolf heritage can appear as much more than just wolf ears. The badwolfs, like most fairytale animals, are shifters. They can shift between a wolf form and a magic “human” form. For a full wolf, they can easily choose whether they want to be fully in their wolf form or fully in their human form, but for half shifters like Ramona and Cerise, this can become a lot harder. You see for shifters, the human form is never a “true” form. Wolf Shifters are a sentient magical species native to the dark forest that evolved to mimic human looks as a way to get closer to their prey. They are inherently magical beings similar to the fey, except instead of long lifespans and magic casting powers they’ve gotten sentient minds and the equivalent of a powerful illusion/transmutation spell. Because magic is influenced by one’s intentions and emotions (like Ravens magic needing evil intention to work properly), how a shifter feels about their identity affects their ability to shift greatly. Full shifters almost never have a problem with shifting into and out of their wolf form because internally they will always associate their internal identity with that of a wolf. They are raised as wolves, most of their early years are spent in the wolf form as they don’t gain the ability to shift until later, if you knock one out that's in their human form then will revert back to wolf form and generally most see their human form as a temporary mask. This is such a common shifter mentality that most shifters don’t even have spotless human forms, instead taking these not quite a wolf but not quite human forms that get a close enough approximation to a human but with something off about them. Too much hair, too sharp claws, wolf ears or eyes. The full shifter always knows their identity is wolf  and the mask is human, so they have no issue controlling the magic that lets them shift. Cerise and Ramona can’t shift as easily however because they identify with both their wolf and human sides. Ramona stays in her wolf form for the most part, but just like how most shifters human forms are imperfect, Ramona’s wolf form is imperfect. Her face is just a bit too human shape wise, her canines and claws not as sharp. It is public knowledge that she is a half shifter, Badwolf couldn’t pass her off as a full one so he told everyone he had a “short lived relationship with a human woman from a nearby village” (the best lies are somewhat true after all). She was held to a higher level of scrutiny by other wolves because of this, so she almost never leaves her wolf form and is constantly trying to push her human identity down. Meanwhile Cerise stays in her human form almost all the time, but is constantly plagued by abnormalities within it that appear depending on how she feels. The wolf ears are a near constant, but she also has a tail that appears sometimes, thicker hair than the average person, wolf eyes and canines that show up when she’s upset, and is taller than the majority of the girls in her class. Cerise hides all of this underneath several layers of clothing, long skirts and cloaks and bonnets. but unlike Ramona who can hold up 1 form consistently Cerise has always found it hard to not exist in this inbetween space, so much so that she was homeschooled her entire childhood and kept away from the many events the destined are invited to under the pretense that she was a “sickly” child. 

The second year of highschool, Legacy year, is the first year that Cerise attends school with others, as students can choose to spend their first year at another school or homeschooled for personal reasons (although this is very, very rare). Cerise finds the whole thing rather daunting, as her interaction with others her age have been greatly stifled. Because she is from a “kids legacy” (i dont have the time here to explain the full context of that phrase; just know that for certain characters like the crumb twins, blondie, and Cerise their often treated as slightly younger than they actually are since their destinies are intertwined with themes of childhood and growing up) everyone writes it off as shyness, but it is generally just stunted social abilities. She can be moody and standoff-ish and generally awkward, which is part of why she ends up mostly alone until after legacy day and the destiny conflict kicks off. 

And oh boy, does she have strong feelings about destiny. Now there's the obvious problem she has with destiny, her being half wolf. She is constantly vigilant for signs of fur and claws on her hands, and the idea that someday there can be a world where she can wear whatever she wants and not have to worry about her hiding wolf attributes is incredibly enticing to her. The idea that there can be a world where her family can be public even more so. These two are her main motivators for being a rebel, but she also joins the rebel cause because the Red Riding Hood destiny is one that never ends. if she could just play out the red riding hood destiny and then fake her death and disappear as a wolf into the dark forest then maybe she would be ok with sucking it up and playing her part, but little red riding hood eventually becomes little red’s mother who sends her to granny’s house, and then becomes her grandmother later on. She will have to live through the red riding hood tale three times at three vastly different parts of her life, meaning she can never “disappear”. For the rest of her life, she will be juggling hiding her wolf half while also acting out her many roles. It is inescapable to her, and locks her into a motherly role that she honestly does not think she would enjoy. Even Ramona doesn’t have to do all that and she has two stories. 

And Cerise’s deep desire to stop hiding her wolf half terrifies Ramona, as she is keenly aware as someone who is publicly half shifter how draining and dangerous it can be to go against the norm. People don’t even know that Red Riding Hoods her mother, they just think it's a random human, and yet she still gets treated terribly by others. Ramona hates the destiny system but is frankly, too scared to speak out against it despite her otherwise rebellious nature as she’s seen how going against it leads to children who are discriminated against and families who are forced to live separately and in fear. And while Cerise has seen that too, she continues to take the glass half full approach of hoping for a more free future while Ramona looks at the world from a glass half empty point of view. Eventually, Cerise and Ramona do work out their differences in views, and Cerise does reveal that she’s part wolf, although this happens towards the very end of the story. 

Also! I didn’t know where to fit this in the above ramblings, but Cerise and Hunter also have a pseudo sibling relationship due to the rumors that the huntsman is her father. I pulled this idea heavily from this fanfic called Off the Path by dragons_SRSunn on ao3, and folks if you have not read that fic please do yourself a favor and read it, it’s genuinely one of my favorite fanfics for eah. 

Uhhhhhh I think that's all for Cerise for now, sorry for the wall of text and thanks for reading!

[florsial]

Slytherin Skittles (aka Hogwarts' Pantheon) Incorrect quotes!

(+others)

. . . . .

Evan: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Barty will and will not eat. Pandora: Grass? Yes! Evan: Moss? Yes!! Pandora: Leaves? Ohh, yes! Evan: Shoelaces? Strange but true! Pandora: Worms? Sometimes! Evan: Rocks? Usually nah. Pandora: Twigs? Usually! Evan: Dorcas's cooking? Inconclusive! Regulus: How did you… test this? Evan: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it. Regulus: ... I don’t know how to feel about this. Dorcas: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

. . . .

Regulus: Where's Evan, Dorcas, and Pandora?

Barty: They're playing hide and seek. Regulus: Where? Barty: I don't think you get how this game works.

. . . .

Pandora: Regulus's first detention, I'm so proud. Evan: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention? Dorcas: Because they're an idiot. Barty, terrified: They can do that??

. . . .

Regulus: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell. Evan and Barty: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

. . . .

Regulus: What did you guys get in your yearbook? Dorcas: 'Prettiest Smile' Pandora: 'Nicest Personality' Barty: 'Most likely to start a bar fight' Evan: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

. . . .

Regulus: You're a lying piece of shit! Barty: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! Evan: I'm leaving and I'm taking Pandora with me! Dorcas, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

. . . .

Pandora: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me? Dorcas: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. Barty: Three of us saw it, Dorcas. How do you explain that? Dorcas: *points at Evan* Sleep deprivation. *points at Regulus* Paranoia. *points at Barty* Delusional personality disorder.

. . . .

Pandora: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Dorcas: Several traffic violations. Evan: Three counts of resisting arrest. Barty: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Regulus: Also, that’s not our car.

. . . .

Barty: How do you connect with a fictional character? Evan: What? Dorcas: What? Pandora: What? Regulus: *pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.

. . . .

Regulus: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Pandora: I really care about your feelings! Lily: I really care about YOUR feelings! Regulus, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Barty: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Evan: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

. . . .

James: What did you get Regulus for their birthday? Pandora: I got them a kitten. Barty: Really? Me too! Dorcas: I also got them a cat. Evan: Looks like we had the same idea. Pandora: James, please tell me you didn't get Regulus a cat as well! James: ...I got them a kitten. *later* Regulus, in their apartment surrounded by cats and kittens: This is the best birthday ever!

. . . .

Pandora: What do rainbows mean to you? Barty: Gay rights. Dorcas: There's money. Evan: The sign of God's promise to never destroy the whole Earth with a flood. Regulus: It is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops.

. . . .

Regulus: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses. Barty: This knife is actually a magic wand. Evan: Meet me in the Denny's parking lot for a wizard duel. Pandora: * cocks gun* Magic missile. Dorcas: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

[vesora]

do not be envious of others

“You are every thing, every being, every emotion, every event, every situation. You are unity. You are infinity. You are love/light, light/love. You are. This is the Law of One.” ― Ra, Law of One: By RA an Humble Messenger

speaking from experience, i used to have a huge problem with envy. i constantly would compare my life with others. i never wanted others to fail but i wanted to be like them. which now that i think about it, it’s fucking stupid isn’t it? i constantly gave my power away because i felt i had to be perfect to be loved, so i would ignore what my body and soul were telling me and attempt to curate the perfect image of myself. thinking about it, it was also probably due to the south asian tendency to want to look the best in front of everyone haha

anyways, everyone around you is real but they’re also a projection of you and your beliefs and your assumptions. if you feel everyone is destined to live a life better than you, then you will find external evidence that they are. you have the power to create the best for yourself, yet you experience envy when you can live the exact way someone else is living. they’re not lesser or better than you, they simply are you. they are a state that you can either choose to occupy or not.

everything around you at this moment is caused by you, namely your assumptions. you would be doing yourself a disservice by envying what someone has or is feeling, because you can have exactly what they have; you can feel exactly what they feel. it’s not lost on you.

by envying and feeling lesser than, all you’re doing is perpetrating the version of you that doesn’t exist in this new reality of yours. i’m not judging you, i went through the same thing (although even if i didnt, i still wouldnt judge you)

what to do when you do feel envious?

scenario: your friend on your story posted a new chanel bag that was bought by her boyfriend who loves her so much and would do anything for her. so now you feel envy because you want someone to spoil you too.

firstly, i must say you shouldn’t rely on others or material possessions to make you feel happy but it’s still okay to want it, just don’t be dependent on it.

so, recognise what you’re feeling. are you feeling sad? lonely? poor? unlucky? how no one would love you like that? how you can never be as rich?

once you recognise, we can flip the thoughts.

know that anything your friend can have, YOU can have because the world is a blank canvas for you. all your wishes and desires are MEANT to be fulfilled.

no matter how shit you feel in the moment, it will pass.

most importantly, view the subject of your envy with love. they’re just you pushed out. you should feel happy for their happiness. you should rejoice when they’re overjoyed. you should cheer them on. your fellow man is you and you are the fellow man. once you transmute the energy from envy to love, you will feel so much lighter, because being filled with love is how you’re supposed to be and function.

don’t be envious. you can have anything you desire. want the best for everyone around you, because everyone is you pushed out. we are all consciousness.

here’s a post i saw: