#it's literally like just me throwing some stuff together to learn more about it by doing

[nixon-stars]

ooooooh you wanna yap about Clara so badddddd (please yap about her please please please please please)

HI YES I REALLY DO

I dunno how much I'll talk but I'm putting in the lil read more antway

HIIIIIII SO

For those not in the know, Clara is my sweet evil baby girl also the main antagonist for my oc world and story, rn going under the name 'Pakshapuram' (definitely going to change it tho, also 'paksha' coming from Sanskrit for wing and puram being a common suffix for towns in south india, like Kanchipuram)

She was born and raised in Pakshapuram, a city town thing that is one of a few cities around the area (this area is pretty isolated the only people that come through were born and raised or shifty guys working through black market sort of trades).

She was born the only child to Amara, who with no partner and no other kids and a big expectations on her, put everything into raising Clara. She's a pretty typical Indian mum though, rarely giving affection or praise, but it works, and Clara knows she's well loved.

She is also a bharatanatyam dancer!! Which doesn't help with the pressure but whatever, Clara's life is good, she has her mum, lots of friends, people all around her that want to help, and most importantly she has Xavier.

Xavier, I could talk about him forever, but what you need to know is that he and Clara are CLOSE. Always together, never separated, all the aunties look on and call them "heart and soul" (ഹൃദയവും ആത്മാവും) they don't leave each other's side right

But there's no good character without a touch 🤏 of trauma so, yayyyy

While dancers learn bharatanatyam, after they learn everything and stuff they get this big ceremony debut into their official career, it's called an Arangetram, and it's a bigggg deal okay?

Also like a year before this, Amara find out she's expecting!!!! Gives birth to a baby boy!!!! Very healthy!!!! Nothing will happen to him promise!!!!!!

Anyway on the day of Clara's Arangetram, she goes to her aunty's house to get dressed quickly in her saree (if you've ever tried to put on a saree you KNOW this isn't quick in the slightest)

She comes back and 😱😱😱 her mum is a statue wthhh?????

And her baby brother is gone?????? (It has nothing to do with amara's old wlw situationship that ended terribly and sourly and left a lot of unanswered questions and lingering feelings whattt)

She's confused af obviously and angry and WHO TF TURNED MY MUM INTO A STATUE y'know very justified, and she overhears some people talking about how Dragons???? might be responsible????

You need to know that dragons are heavily venerated in Pakshapuram, the religion of the city revolves around how important dragons are too the world right and how they shouldn't be touched or anything yeah

An old guy came up and said that he had known about a prophecy that something like this could happen and blah blah blah Clara's in charge now

But like she's sixteen so that's alottttt of pressure to put on a literal child you would think? NOPE they said make her queen now

So now Clara's in charge and also A GRIEVING TEENAGER and she is stressed

And woahhhjj perfect timing famine through the land!!!!!!!

Every one is really hungry and Xavier, who is now general, asked her what she wanted to do about it and maybe just maybe let's use the food we had stored just in case something like this happened????

Clara goes "no girl im using that"

And Xavier's like "what why we don't need to use those???"

And Clara like "yeah we do thats what I'm referring the troops I sent to go find a dragon for me to kill to get revenge for killing my mum"

And Xavier's like "you crazy bitch people are starving can you be insane later"

Clara throws a temper tantrum and exiles him woooooop #girlboss

Years pass and Xavier's making a under ground resistance against Clara because she has moved on from killing people with her ignorance to just killing them if they disagree with her which isn't cool

Clara goes very insane with the grief and stress and everything she's soooo unhappy and very evil about it she's talking to the statue of her mum and she's not doing well

And here's about where the main story starts, and I haven't even talked about the protagonists

Anyway I wonder what happened to that baby brother????? 🤔🤔🤔 I guess we'll never knowwwwww

[digitalcockroach]

i am doing a terrarium experiment and step 1 (ok more like step 2 step 1 was setting it up physically) is to get these plants to live together in there and i have whatever the opposite of a green thumb is so we'll see!

[jasminerva]

“does Nagumo have kinks and if so what are your favs for him 🎤”

So I was asked the above by Lao (@herringstrait)... And I thought I'd just list off a few off the top of my head, but in the end I had enough for a full post lmaooo (and then some - I added more and it just got away from me orz)

Welp... here ya go!

Nagumo x gn!Reader (w/ a few femme-gendered parts as indicated by ♀) Want more? Check out my SakaDays Masterlist! 🍑 Comments, reblogs, tags appeachiated~! 🍑

🎤🧐

mic check one-two (takes in a deep breath)

Nagumo x Reader NSFW headcanons

I feel like Nagumo would prefer to be in control even when he "relinquishes" it lol he wants to show you who's boss (it's you - if you really want you can even make him cry and drool and beg for it) he'll (learn to) crave it 😏 like a special once in a while treat. Honestly, he convinces himself he needs control because that's secure & safe to him. When he gives you control, that's basically saying he feels super safe with you! And if that ain't the sexiest thing ever, I don't know what is.

I personally don't feel like he's got any extravagant kinks like rope play or whips or wax / pain play (he'll try everything once, and he'll do stuff that you like for you)

Now, that doesn't mean he won't go crazy if you wrap yourself up like a present with your/his favourite-coloured ribbon! Or - better yet - let him wrap you up!

Food play for sure tho. One of the smut fics I have drafted up for Valentine's Day involves chocolate in lieu of clothing lmao

Nagumo likes little challenges cuz he's childish like that - throw him a bone every once in a while. Dare him to keep the cuffs on no matter what (god knows he can break outta anything). Let him get creative in stripping you and he'll surprise you (hint: it involves teeth).

I do think he'd like it a lot if you call him "good boy" - he likes praise. Nagumo will for sure reciprocate.

I think he really likes jiggly parts lol so he'd get mesmerized and purposely slam harder and maybe slap it a bit just to see it wiggle lmao (also them slapping sounds mmmph)

Mirror sex

Orgasm control lol but not too crazy he's a soft guy (for the most part). Mostly, he's a sappy romantic and he wants to cum isshoni together with you, so he'll do his darndest to get you off at the same time. In reality, you could probably control him better than he thinks he can control you.

He can be a little possessive but it's not to possess rather than the feelings behind it. If you time it well and tell him you're "his" he could very much cum prematurely 🤣 (he just wants you to know you're his and he's yours okay???)

I also have a smut that I don't know when it'll be released but… it involves an annual hunting excursion in the wilderness lmao (where YOU are the prey - so yeah) [Lao mentioned the face he made while threatening Yotsumura so I HAD TO INCLUDE IT]

(hack-coughs)

(takes in another breath)

Nagumo would be amazing at role play (dude is a master of disguise) but at the end of the day all he wants is to be himself / vulnerable and with you 🥹

I shared this before where Nagumo keeps his eyes open for everything lmaooo his FOMO is bad. You have to get used to when you accidentally peek while he's kissing or you're trying to cover your O face - nope, he will pry those hands off your face or lean very forward - he wants to see it ALL with them big boba eyes.

Just like his eyes are made for eyeing, his fingers are made for fingering. You can act all cocky and crack a joke about how his knuckle tattoos will wear out so much faster at the rate he's going, but he'll just tell you, "worth getting them retouched if I get to touch you like this" as he nearly sends you to heaven (showing off the real reason he has his gold assassin license).

On that note, he's not afraid to probe (literally and figuratively) you, even while you're already stuffed. "Y-Yoichi, t-too much... I don't think that'll fff—" "Shh... don't worry, baby, you can take it all."

[♀] For my womb-sisters, I can see him pressing down on your lower abdomen while he's thrusting into you, feeling you from the outside-in (inside-out?), driving you crazy. Hit that g(uaranteed good time)-spot-on accuracy.

He knows how to use his tongue too. You might even prefer it because it means he'll shut up for once, but ultimately you love his silver tongue-in-cheek as much as you love his other appendages. I think he still prefers leaving his mouth free for kisses and cracking wise.

[♀] Bonus food play, he will kill two birds with one stone by taking in some sugar-free candy or mint beforehand to eat you out. We know how much he loves his sweets after all~ ;) plus the minty tingle would keep things quite literally fresh. (warning: don't mix actual sugar with the vajayjay — not worth it)

Look up BJ blast pop rocks and tell me that won't be the best way to get back at him.

He loves it when you tangle your fingers in his hair, hold him close while he ravishes you. He keeps his hair messy for a reason (wants you stuck for as long as possible).

[♀] Just like he has the bobas, if you have the boobas, he loves to motorboat tease them and rest his face between them (even outside of R18 times). There's something about how nipples perk up that he feels real satisfied about.

[♀] Holding onto them while he's hitting that spot? The peaks between his tattooed fingers and feeling the jiggly movement under his palms? That's one of the rare times he has difficulty concentrating on your face.

Aftercare

This can be pre-/post-/in between, but he likes to trace your hip or stomach or other part with his fingers. Maybe solve some math puzzles like a nerd (scenario included below).

He'll clean you up really well. Maybe too well. Don't take up his offer to clean you up in the shower or bath if you're short on time.

I can see him as the big spoon, or even little spoon. Best would be the pillow-talk position, where he just holds you right against him, face-to-face, eye-to-boobage.

Whatever position, just picture him holding you with his fingers interlocked.

He'll tangle his legs with yours and lock you tf in. Need to go to the bathroom? Best of luck. Dude is a clingy Cancer.

He might wax poetic, saying something cheesy like "we fit together like puzzle pieces" or "you're a problem I'm still trying to solve" - feel free to bonk him. Then you'll have some mandarin oranges to share!

Nuzzles & cuddles & kisses, oh my!

He'll fall asleep with his chin resting on your head, or nuzzled against your chest. (omg Memi @toyboxterror shared this art by ivy_rt_ w/ me which is perfect)

Extra for those familiar with cloud8.

re: hunter-prey play - you don’t particularly like nature, but you’ll do it just to outlast him as long as possible (you can be stupid competitive and it reminds you of JCC times) - plus maybe you like the adrenaline spike haha. He makes a convincing predator.

re: orgasm control / rare dom time - you will get some use out of your kill heels after all (psst don’t tell Tenju).

If you’re into consensual somno - the perk is that you don’t have to do anything PLUS it makes Nagumo feel trusted and desired and that gets him off. WIN-WIN & WINK-WONK.

Nagumo may hate his stuffy work wear, but you've convinced him the necktie is a must. To tug on, motioning him to come hither, pulling him into a kiss, he'll pin you down between his arms and deepen it. It becomes ceremony after a long day's work. (thank you Memi for reminding me!!!)

Extra (forgot I had this drafted in Oct - figured I'd include it here)

SakaDays headcanon: Nagumo “I solve Sudoku puzzles in my downtime” Yoichi does rapid mental math in his head and most likely even uses his fingers (wink-wonk).

shared in the ch1 end notes of c o n t r a i l s (Nagumo x F!Reader ***nsfw smut*** fic). [tumblr post link if you wanted to like + reblog]

Probably traces Sudoku on your bare skin, too. The nerd. Here's a smol scenario of a time when you first noticed:

(You and Nagumo are snuggled up) Nagumo: (hand lingering on your hip, he starts tracing patterns on your skin) You: Are you playing tic-tac-toe or something? Nagumo: Hm? Nope. You: (after a few more movements, realizing) Seriously? Sudoku? Nagumo: Yeah, well, I left the book in my other coat, but may as well continue where I left off~ You: Wow. Is that where your mind immediately goes? Lucky me. Nagumo: (slowly moves mathematical ministrations towards your core, purring) Feeling lucky now~?

[rottingworship]

Beg and Bargain

The Proxies x F!Reader | Chapter Six

[Masterlist]

Summary: You are caught in a horribly desperate moment. You are offered help, and who are you to turn it down?

Warnings: NSFT, 18+ MINORS DNI!, masturbation (f), getting caught, oral (f receiving), slight overstim, panty stealing, no beta

Word Count: ~2.9k

A/N: toby is still a lil mean and I couldn't find a gif this time, forgive me. divider is by @/cafekitsune!

One thing you learn rather quickly is Toby has no shame, it would seem. You can hear him in his room, his muffled whimpers the only thing you can focus on. The TV is on, but you don’t know what’s playing. You don’t care about what’s playing.

You shift uncomfortably on the couch. You rub the back of your neck and cross your legs. You rub your thighs together. You need to do something. And you need to do it right now. You think you’re going to explode.

Briefly, in your state of undeniable horniness, you think about rushing to Toby. He seems too rough though. Something you are not ready for. Not right now.

“What the fuck,” You catch yourself. These men are killers, you remind yourself. You inhale sharply. If it weren’t for my ability I’d be dead… You have to keep your head on straight. That is almost impossible when you crave a touch other than your own. You do the only thing you can think of.

Pace.

You stand from the couch and begin to pace. Back and forth. Your eyes are glued to the floor and your fingers pick at the skin around your nails. Tim’s door opens and he walks to Toby’s door. He hits it hard, causing you to flinch. Your eyes shoot towards Tim and he looks pissed. He groans and hits it again. Toby does not care.

“God damn! You gotta do that so loud?” Tim yells. He rolls his eyes and walks down the hall to the living room. He spots you pacing, and his expression softens immediately. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” You lie horribly. Your voice cracks. “I’m fine.”

Then you hear it. Toby’s whimpers get louder, and he lets out a long moan. Your jaw clenches. Your eyes look down the hall to his room, you swallow hard. He just came, most likely to the thought of you. The creature inside of you craving physical contact wants to push past Tim and sprint towards Toby’s room and ask if he wants the real thing. You stop yourself. You remind yourself how mean he is to you. How he yells at you. He does not deserve you.

“Is he bothering you?” Tim points down the hall, seemingly ready to also sprint to Toby’s room. Not for the same reason you want to. At least, you don’t think it’s for the same reason. “Because I will beat his ass-”

You can’t think straight. “No. I’m just h-” You place your palm to your forehead and groan. “I’m struggling.” You admit. “I haven’t, um,” you shut yourself up again, “I’m about to literally lose my fucking mind!” You drag your hands down your face. You want to run away again, but the chances of getting away are the same as always. Extremely slim.

“Okay…” Tim furrows his brows at you. “I wanted to talk to you about what happened earlier. Will that get your mind off of it?”

He does not push you on your slip up. That makes you feel… some comfort. You shrug. “Sure!” You throw your hands up. “Why not? What’cha got?”

“The police officer, what did you say to her?”

You try to collect your thoughts, “I was just trying to get information-”

“What did you say?” He sounds impatient.

You swallow hard, and try not to be more turned on by his tone. What the fuck is wrong with me? You shift and swing your arms absentmindedly. “Oh, y’know, just normal stuff- Like uh, wiping her memory and maybe-” You mumble something under your breath about Ethan, and Tim moves closer to you.

“What was that?” He cocks a brow at you.

You groan, “I told her to tell Ethan that John was right…”

Tim looks like he’s about to lose his mind. “You what!?” Tim lets out a low groan and you tense. You should not be this turned on. You want to excuse yourself, but that’s not happening now. “Are you-” He stops himself mid-yell. You flinch back from him and you pout.

“Don’t yell at me…” You want to be stern with him, but you can’t. You don’t want to yell and make a scene. “Please.” You add that in hopes he listens.

“Please?” Tim has stopped yelling, slightly more confused than angry now. “You really aren’t cut out for this. You told that cop to tell Ethan that you are able to mind control people?”

“Well,” You sigh, “yes. I wasn’t thinking! I was mad and saw an opportunity to get back at Ethan-” You make a face. You sound absolutely unstable. You wince and yourself and look at Tim. “That wasn’t super smart on my part, huh?”

He shakes his head. “No. But, there is nothing we can do now.” He sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He can see your discomfort and he motions for you to leave. “I don’t have to keep asking questions.”

You nod. “Thanks.” You look around the living room, “But, this is kind of my space of living… I don’t have anywhere else to go. I’m definitely not going outside.” Brian’s out there. You give Tim an awkward smile and he sighs. He begins to walk off.

“If you need anything, let me know.”

The way he says it has your stomach in knots. You nod as he walks back to his room and you decide to take a shower. You grab your bag and walk off to the bathroom. You place it on the floor and shut the door, locking it behind you. You turn the shower on and begin to strip. You feel the heat between your thighs, the contrast of the cold air is jarring. You get into the shower and hope that the hot water will take your mind off of everything.

You don’t have too long with the hot water. You are certain the water heater has been tampered with. You aren’t sure if it was purposely or not. You do not plan on asking. You grab your shampoo and conditioner and quickly wash yourself.

You notice rather quickly the horniness is not going away.

Once you finish washing, and the water is slowly getting less hot, you decide to step out. You turn off the water and wrap a towel around you. Then you hear it. More moaning. Toby’s fucking moaning again.

You suck in air harshly and think of nothing but touching yourself. Making the feeling go away is impossible. You need to deal with your issue. So you do. You lean against the cool wall, your hand moving past your towel. You find your clit first, the bud is swollen. You let out a soft whimper as the pads of your fingers brush over it.

Your thumb takes your fingers’ place, as your fingers move down to your pussy. Your fingers push past the lips and into your entrance. You let out a low mewl. Your fingers gently pump in and out of you. Your thumb rubbing circles over your clitoris, you are having a hard time being quiet. Unlike Toby, you feel shame. So, you stay as silent as possible.

As you chase a hint of relief and ecstasy, the door clicks. Your hand immediately pulls away from you and you let out a short yell. You look over in horror, your eyes meet Tim’s. He looks surprised to say the least.

“What the fuck!? Close the door!” You hiss. You avert your eyes. Tim shuts the door, but he is in the bathroom with you. You groan. “Hello! You aren’t supposed to be in here!”

His back is to the door. He is staring at your face. For now. “I thought you were out!” Tim keeps his voice down. “I heard the shower stop.”

“Well, I’m not!” You try to keep your towel up and covering you. “I locked the door! How did you get in?”

“Oh.” He turns to the door and pulls it slightly. It opens easily. “You have to pull up for it to close all the way.” He pulls the door up and shuts it, it latches.

“Oh, gee,” You throw a hand in the air, “how did I now know that?” You let out a huff. You cannot keep your eyes on Tim. You are looking everywhere but at him. He notices.

“When I said ‘anything’ earlier, I meant it.” Tim places his back against the door again.

Your whine, “C’mon!” You whisper at him. “How am I supposed to turn you down now?”

“Well,” Tim’s eyes scan your body, before settling on your face again, “you can say no. But I assure you, you won’t regret it.” He smirks. You know he’s right.

You tense. Every single one of your muscles tense. You know for a fact he’s going to be better than John, but you also know, Toby would be better than John. That bar is not high. It is, in fact, in hell. What is the worst that could happen?

“Okay.” You nod quickly. “But, not here.”

“On the couch?” Tim teases you.

“No!” You want to swat at him. You, instead, keep hold of your towel. “Your room?” He nods and laughs. He opens the bathroom door and you scurry behind him to his room, leaving your clothes in the bathroom. Once you reach his room, he shuts the door and locks it. “Don’t worry, it's actually closed.” He gives you a cheeky smile. You narrow your eyes at him. “How do you wanna do this, darlin’?” He asks, causing your legs to become jelly.

“Oh, I don’t-” You look at him in shock, “I don’t know. Um, I’ve always wanted, uh-”

“Use your words,” Tim takes a step towards you. “They’ll get you what you want.”

“I want you to go down on me. Please…” Your eyes meet his. His smile is almost wicked. You cannot be more turned on. “I wanna feel good…”

“I can do that.” Tim begins to walk towards you. He motions towards the bed, “Lay down.”

You do as he says. Bossy, you think to yourself. But it is hot. Your back hits the mattress and you bite the inside of your lip.

“This doesn’t have to change how you feel about me.” Tim drops to his knees in front of you. “Move your towel.” He interrupts himself with another command. You hesitate, but ultimately you listen. He continues on with his earlier statement. “Think of this as a favor.”

You are looking up at the ceiling. “A favor? Nothing more?” You question him.

“Doesn’t have to be more.” Tim pats the outside of your thigh. “You good if we continue, darlin’?”

You nod. “Please,” You peek over at him, “please continue.”

Tim does so, quite eagerly. He looks at you through half lidded eyes as he makes his way towards your wet cunt. His hands grip your thighs. As soon as you relax into the mattress you are being dragged down it, right into Tim’s mouth. You let out a gasp and cover your mouth. You do not need Toby hearing you. You really do not want to face him right now.

Tim’s tongue circles your clit and your hips roll into him. His hands push down your hips, holding you as still as possible. “Don’t move,” Tim warns, right before diving straight back into you. His tongue licks stripes up your pussy, causing you to whimper beneath him. His tongue is skilled. You are having a hard time not moving. One of your hands covers your mouth and the other is balling up the sheet on the bed. Your hips buck, but are instantly pushed down again. Tim growls against you. The feeling of the growl seems to reverberate through you and you mewl into your hand.

“I need to know you feel good,” Tim hums.

“I don’t need Toby hearing me,” You move your hand briefly and hiss back.

“I do.” Tim smiles against your thigh, biting the soft flesh. You jerk back. “C’mon, darlin’.”

Your jaw clenches and you remove your hand from your mouth. Instead of the sheets, you tangle your fingers in Tim’s hair. It’s soft. Tim puts his mouth back on your cunt. Before you know it, his hands are pulling your legs over his shoulders and he can not physically be any closer to you. He is practically on top of you and you are a whimpering mess. A loud moan escapes your mouth and you do not even care to cover it.

Your thighs are tense around Tim’s face but he does not seem bothered. You are getting close. A heat is building up inside of your core. Your legs tense first, causing Tim to groan into you. His eyes cut up towards you and they lock with yours. Your stomach flips. He is sending you over the edge. You let out a loud cry and your fingers give his hair gentle pull. Tim’s eyes shut and he moans.

That’s it. That’s all it takes.

Your hips buck into his mouth and you are almost crying. He does not slow down. He is devouring you. You are seeing stars, and everything is closing in on you. If you couldn’t think straight before, you definitely can’t now. “Please,” You cry out, “slow down!”

Tim takes a minute to process what you’re saying. Your legs are limp around his head now and he’s finally slowing down. He licks you up, almost causing you to cum again just from cleaning you. Your hips drop back down onto the bed and Tim pulls away. His lips trail kisses from your thighs up to your stomach. Your towel is laid out under you, giving him full access to your body. He’s crawling up the bed, over you, his lips not leaving your skin.

“Kiss me, please.” You whisper.

Tim chuckles as he reaches your throat and he pauses where he is. “Do you wanna taste yourself?”

“I don’t care, I just want you to kiss me.”

Tim obliges. His lips hit yours and his tongue does not hesitate to dart into your mouth. You wrap your arms around his neck and Tim grabs your leg, pulling it around his waist. It’s not fair really, he’s fully clothed and you are completely naked. You can feel how hard he is, even through his jeans. You let out a shaky moan.

“T-Tim!” A fist slams into the door. You freeze. Tim groans, his head rolling back. “What th-the fuck!?” The door knob jiggles and you have never been more happy to be under a man in your life. The door is locked, but you’d rather Toby see Tim than your naked form. Toby lets out a frustrated yell. “I know y-you have her in there…”

Your blood runs cold.

“Her cl-cl-clothes are in the bathroom. Someone’s gonna have t-to come g-get them.”

Your head rolls back in frustration, but you stay quiet. Tim gets up off of you and you wrap the towel back around you. “I’ll go out,” You whisper, about as quietly as humanly possible.

“Are you sure?”

You nod. If Tim leaves and grabs your clothes, it will seem like more than it is. Which is already a lot. You suck in air quickly, and walk towards the door, Tim is hot on your trail. You open it and Toby’s eyes meet yours. He looks disgusted. And jealous. Brian is standing a little ways down the hallway, finally getting back from who knows where.

“Enjoy y-yourself?” Toby snarls at you.

“Yes,” You smile at him. You push past him and pray to whoever’s listening that he doesn't snatch you up and pin you against the wall. As hot as that would be in certain situations… Toby scares you. You reach the bathroom and notice your clothes have been rummaged through. You squat down and notice your underwear gone. You snap back towards Toby and stand up. “You take them?”

“Ta-take what?” Toby snaps back.

“My panties, dickhead.” You hiss. “They aren’t here.”

“I didn’t- I di- That wa-wasn’t me!” Toby is pissed.

“That’s exactly what someone who took my panties would say. I hope you enjoy them!” You bark at him. “Because that’s all you’re fucking getting from me!”

You slam the bathroom door, making sure to pull it up slightly by the knob so it will latch. You groan and quickly get ready. You aren’t sure how exactly you’re going to face the guys when you get out of the bathroom. You try not to worry about it.

As you get dressed, Tim leaves Brian and Toby alone. He heads back to his room, locks his door, and his hand moves to his back pocket. He pulls out a pair of panties. Your panties. Worn and wet. He does not feel bad one bit. In fact, he’s thrilled you think that Toby took them. He brings them up to his face and inhales your scent. His face was just in your pussy, but there is something so different about having your panties.

Tim settles in his bed, your panties in his hand, and decides it’s time for him to take care of himself. He can’t get the image of you out of his brain, your begging and whimpering. He needs to fuck you. But for now, your panties will do.

[infiniteglitterfall]

friggin faux-Palestinian history, istg

I'm in the middle of writing a post about the difficulties of pinning down details and dates in Palestinian history. This one is just me stopping to vent for a sec.

I came across the Wikipedia page for GUPS, the General Union of Palestinian Students. This is an organization with groups at colleges all over the world. Ish. It's shrunk over the decades.

The page made a bold claim: that GUPS was officially founded in Cairo in 1959, but had really started in the 1920s.

I called bullshit. The only source cited was a dead link to the 2010 version of the SFSU GUPS page, which said the same thing -- no context, no source, and especially, no explanation of how Palestinian student organizing could have started before there were colleges or universities in Palestine.

There were two. They were tiny. And they both taught in Hebrew.

Certainly, there could have been Arab Palestinian students there, who learned Hebrew there, or already knew it.

But were there so many that they started a student group that apparently lasted 35+ years before getting a name??

I could not find one other source for this.

So I deleted it and called bullshit.

Within a day, someone who wasn't even logged in reverted my edit. They told me that I hadn't proven that it was wrong, I'd just said it was illogical.

I started looking up sources and putting together a more detailed edit. In the meantime, I started a topic on the totally empty talk page, politely calling bullshit.

I said that I hadn't been able to find any sources in English OR Arabic that confirmed this claim, and that I thought it was an error made on a dead page.

The same person, now logged in, replied:

"you still haven't refuted the claim. the claim is still on their web page."

BRUH.

IT'S AN ARCHIVE OF A DEAD PAGE. BY DEFINITION, IT DOESN'T CHANGE.

This is exactly how it feels to research any of this stuff.

Every single time, it turns out that people's unsourced online bullshit is absolutely wrong.

Every single time, people just respond by insisting on believing whatever claim some rando made on the internet.

The problem is not that Palestinian history doesn't exist, hasn't been written down, or hasn't been researched. Of fucking course it has!!

(I have literally seen people claiming the contrary in the most wild-ass fucking ways. Supposedly-pro-Palestinian people, acting like Palestinians are wooby powerless fuzzy babbies whose books were all stolen by the cruel Jews 80 years ago, who had no way to replace that historic knowledge, and who have just been standing around ever since. It is the most Western Paternalism shit ever, and it absolutely drives me up the wall.)

The problem is that this is a topic that a lot of people are passionate about. And unfortunately, a whole lot of people are unwilling to back down on literally anything that "feels" pro-Palestinian to them, whether it's true or not.

It's purely going on Vibes, but the Vibes themselves are based on how something compares to the Vibes they get from social media and stuff.

And those vibes are so extreme and vehement that any kind of pushback sounds like You Love Genocide And Kill Babies For Fun.

It's just a fucking vicious spiral.

It's like playing tennis against the tennis-ball-throwing machine. It's not a real game. Nobody is engaging with you. It's just the same shit over and over.

(I was trying to type "shot." But apparently I swear so much that instead of autocorrecting me to "ducking hell," my phone now INSISTS I meant to cuss.)

I ended up getting Google to give me the Arabic for GUPS, and then digging for sources about its actual origin.

It turns out Yasser Arafat formed the Palestinian Students League in Cairo in 1949, and that became GUPS in 1956. This is entirely fucking unsurprising in any way if you know anything at all about actual Palestinian history. Of fucking course he did. This also explains why the first search result I found about GUPS was from the PLO. Of fucking course it was.

[m4nj1r0s]

Ran Haitani relationship headcannons

- Was probably only using you for entertainment, and was 100% planning on leaving you after about a month.

- Since you two weren’t serious in his mind, mf was a MENACE.

- Got you a COLD pack when you were on your period and had cramps.

- Like my Hanma post, gives bad girl advice to Rindou.

- “Girls prefer cold packs when they’re on their period, it helps the cramps.”

- Like a week before he was going to break up with you, he noticed a rival of his making lovey-dovey eyes at you. He postponed breaking up with you just to spite his rival.

- Was extra affectionate with you if he ever saw the guy JUST to be petty to the max but he found himself doing it privately too. And.. he liked it. Rindou helped him come to the conclusion he genuinely liked you!!

- But now you can’t leave him, ever :(

- You guys have dates where you just nap together. I’m not talking like you just came over and you two were bored so you took a nap. No, no, no like this is an actual PLANNED date. It’s marked on his calendar and everything as ‘date night’ with a bunch of hearts made with red sharpie. Ran probably gets Rindou to go out so you guys can have some peace and quiet.

- “Isn’t this nice, baby?”

- “I can feel you trying to interlock our toes.”

- Probably took Rindou a while to warm up to you, but the real ice breaker is when Rindou came home drunk whilst Ran was asleep so you guys played video games and did karaoke.

- Ran wanted to tear his hair out at Rindou’s singing but he said yours was like a lullaby. 🤗

- Probably has a picture of Nahoya and Souya that he throws darts at in his room. 😭😭

- If you’re shorter than him, he loves putting things you need on a high shelf so you have to ask him to get it.

- And he does this whilst you’re using it. ☹️

- Backfires when you just ask Rindou..

- Expects you to have his picture as your lock screen and refuses to put yours as his. His lock screen is a picture of his bed.

- When you got upset he refused to have your picture as his lock screen, he tried to make it up to you by taping a picture of you to his fighting baton.

- “This is practically the same thing, actually, it’s better! Would you rather I tape it to my uniform instead??”

- He’s genuinely asking.

- You’re saved in his phone as smth like “Honeycomb suckle sugar plum pumpkin pie ❤️💜🤍🤎💚🧡💝😫”

- Wants to learn a new language with you just so you guys can talk about stuff without Rindou eavesdropping (I hc Rindou has a bad habit of this).

- He is IMPOSSIBLE to wake up, like you could try everything and he would still be fast asleep.

- Literally the only thing that makes him wake up is the smell of breakfast or any food in general

- Has a black hole as a stomach (metaphorically)

- It’s cute since you guys can have that thing together where if you can’t finish your food he will just finish it for you :)

- Type of guy to lay on his side with a rose in his mouth and his head propped up with his hand when you come home from work or whatever with careless whisper playing on in the background

- Backfires when he cuts his lip with a thorn 😭

- “I’m never doing this romantic shit again.”

————————————————————————————

I was debating making this a yandere hc post but it feels more of a normal one

It’s a pretty short hc post but I’m back now 🤭

And I will get to requests that are already in my ask box in the next few weeks, since it’s close to exam season for me 😓

[carto0ncritter]

Abusive fictional fathers - Robotnik vs. Stolas

I won't be talking about Coconuts here since he's not on screen that much, but know that I feel sorry for the stuff he's been through, poor guy

Robotnik ⮕ Scratch & Grounder

Like... he literally only created these two to use and abuse them and that's crystal clear

When I say Robotnik is an abusive pos, this is what I mean (and this is just some of the physical abuse, don't even get me started on the emotional):

...Okay, that last picture was the last straw. Robotnik's thrist for power has officially outweighted Scratch and Grounder's "value." He felt 0 remorse for throwing them into the lava. Keep in mind, he THOUGHT HE HAD KILLED THEM and DIDN'T CARE AT ALL. Thankfully they were fine. And no the fact that they're robots doesn't make it any less wrong

If you're willing to sacrifice your children for a powerful artefact, then I'm (NOT) sorry to say this, but you're a heartless pos and deserve to be held accountable for your actions. If I were in Scratch and Grounder's shoes, I would have ran the hell away right then and there and found home elsewhere

However, unlike with Stolas and Octavia, at least the narrative doesn't try to convince us that Robotnik loves his sons. Because if he did, he would have tried to change his behavior. Or better, he wouldn't have abused them IN THE FIRST PLACE! AT ALL! No matter what he had gone through! I'm not denying that his mom was a pos to him just like he's a pos to scratch and grounder, but i refuse to see this as an excuse. he should have tried his best to break the cycle of abuse

*sigh* Now I've gotta talk about that stupid bird man... let's just get this over with.

Stolas ⮕ Octavia

Stolas is shown to have been there for Via in her childhood. although we never see them bond over anything, connect emotionally with each other or spend quality time together, we've only got this one nightmare scene. this was the only time stolas was shown to care about octavia

He did his best to calm her down and make her feel safe, then proceeded to break his promise for a booty call. For a childhood "friend" that his father bought for him 25 years ago.

And you're telling me how Stolas didn't realize that bringing Blitzø along in Loo Loo Land is uh... a bad idea that will make his daughter feel even worse?

I HATE the excuse that Stolas was "just clueless." Because anyone with the tiniest bit of common sense would come to the same conclusion: flirting with your booty call in front of your daughter who is a minor and going through emotional hell that happened because you cheated on her mother makes you a horrible and selfish father.

Even worse is that Stolas doesn't learn his lesson and once again neglects Octavia. Stolas is too busy hating his ex wife and gushing over his abuse victim that he can't even be bothered to look for his daughter himself, and instead Loona has to be the one to go find her. And then she literally tells Via how her dad's trying his best and how she should cut him some slack. No. No she shouldn't. Octavia was right to think that Stolas hates Stella more than he loves her because that's what his actions show.

He can hug her all he wants and promise to do better but he has done nothing to even TRY to be better for this poor girl.

Not to mention that Loona is a hypocrite. Blitzø has always been doing his best to be a good dad to her, and she thanks him for saving her life by being a complete bitch. It's been five. Fucking. Years. Of unconditional love and support from Blitzø's side. And what does he get in return? A kick in the balls. Blitzø also got beat up by her and hit with the "if I'm so terrible why don't you replace me" after he rightfully called her out and you're trying to tell me Blitzø was the one in the wrong and how this isn't abusive huh ok then whatever ya say

I won't talk about the upcoming episode much. I honestly just don't have the strength anymore. But to make it as short as possible, Stolas is gonna be treated like an uwu poor sad gay boi and once again choose Blitzø, the guy he r*ped, over his own child.

If you check out the leaked story boards for s2 ep12, you'll see how disgusting it is that Via is spitting nothing but facts and yet she'll be demonized by the writers, Stolas lovers and Stolitz shippers. Just...

Please stop lying, dude. Just stop. You shattered her entire life and neglected her for a guy you abused and never got to know on a level that's deeper than sex. No wonder Via thinks he doesn’t love her anymore. The line above gives me the same vibe as THIS line also they made Stolas not only ACT like a guy who victimizes himself but LOOK that way too

STOP LYING. JUST SHUT UP.

I hate this self-pitying hypocrite sm.

And yeah, I get it: he was put in an arranged marriage (this was clearly a retcon, but whatever floats viv's boat) despite being gay and was sheltered and never had friends, but those are explanations for his behavior, not excuses.

Oh and, to anyone who thinks otherwise: Emotional neglect is a form of abuse.

Closing Thoughts

One important thing that I noticed with both Scratch and Grounder and Octavia, is how none of them feel at home with their fathers. A reliable way to know whether you've failed as a parent or not is to see how your behavior affects your kid(s). How does your behavior make them feel?

Let's see here... *checks notes*

Octavia says how Stolas ruined their family, not Stella and in ep12 she's finally gonna call him out on his bullshit thank god. but unfortunately the toxic gay ship will once again be a priority because it's gay

Scratch and Grounder are terrified of Robotnik's wrath, he constantly makes them feel useless and unwanted, but at the same time, they have no problem betraying him both of them always come back to him, just like how Blitzø doesn't leave his abuser because he wants to feel "loved" and "needed" for once even though Stolas treats him like shit

So yeah, if you made your kid(s) feel this way, you've officially failed as a father.

[missblissy]

Domestic Astarion x Reader HCs

A/N: UwU just wanted to add to the married life headcanons after the events of the game. Fluffy good stuff below. GN!Tav, no class/race. Enjoy!

Some days always started better than others. But that’s only to say because someone didn’t need as much sleep as you, and had a life time left to learn new skills. One of them being cooking. Sure Astarion can’t taste and it’s a useless skill to him. But you? He would do anything for you. And that includes learning to cook for the sheer simple act of spoiling you with a warm and home made breakfast in bed.

It’s strange to say you two never had a wedding. That’s not to say you two weren’t married. “Oh…?” Astarion isn’t sure how to explain this when someone asks, “Well, you see, my darling little love here found this-” He holds up his hand and wiggles the ring in his finger, “On a rotting old skeleton then found the matching one, get this, on another smelly corpse!” Most people wouldn’t look fondly on something like that. But no, Astarion wasn’t most people. He’d smile and swoon, “And I suppose since then we’ve been married,”

It doesn’t help that back then when you did find those rings, you quite literally told him, “We’re married now,” As a joke. It wasn’t joke….

Astarion has a habit of leaving you poems to find in the most hidden of places. Like little lost treasures. Or maybe he just knows the looting demon you are at heart with your little grabby fingers going for anything they can touch. So it always comes to a surprise to you when you open a book and a poem written years ago flutters out… but the love and truth still rings pure despite the yellowing of the pages.

Crimson sons, vermillion daughters. Quivering maroon, burgundy, cardinal. Short fainting strokes Fester a broken carotid Free from feathers Unbound By the serpent's head no more.

His way of saying thank you for everything you've ever given him. And then some. No matter the message you cherished each treasured poem you would find.

The man had a knack for spoiling you, unconditionally, and most importantly, endlessly. If you saw something out in a shop that caught you eye, but you were just to stubborn to get it for yourself. Surprise, surprise when you get home and find it there with a man beaming proud like a puppy with his bone.

But that didn’t mean affection was off the table either. Astarion spoiled you with kisses, big ones, little ones, some on the back of your hand as he opened a door for you. Others on your cheek, gently but with sorrow as he left for some few weeks for whatever reason. He had his own things to do and sometimes you couldn’t go with him. But that just meant when he got home you could throw your arms around him, breathe him in and share the long awaited kiss of his return.

Married life strangely suited you both, from the little grabbing of hands under tables, the protective placement of an arm, the look of pride when the other did something extraordinary. And Astarion would always be the more boastful in pride when it came to talking about you.

And he couldn’t help but show off, sure he’s loud and arrogant about it. Saying he was best option of course, no one else stood a chance… blah blah blah. But when no one was around he can look you in the eye and practically grovel, “I am so lucky you chose me,”

There were many other things that came with the long life of being married together. The two of you were quite dedicated to learning to… dance. Astarion hadn’t a clue wether his left foot was right, and you may have been no better. It was your idea really. You heart would swoon watching other couples and with an eager voice you pointed a finger and declared, “I want to do that too!”

And so you did, but behind the close doors of your own home. Seeing as Astarion didn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of so many people. Where you both could trip and side step and laugh, giggle and make the most out of learning something new together.

It seemed the two of you had a habit of learning things together. From silly little drawings, to paintings, perhaps an instrument or two. You both always found a way to share your hobbies and passions together.

And it was the mornings, where these happened most often. Naturally Astarion couldn’t be in the sun but that didn’t stop him from enjoying what little light he could. You’d find him in the dusty dusk right before the sun actually broke the horizon.

He had been teaching himself to play the piano, so to wake up in the morning and not hear the soft echos of keys down the halls would be a bad sign. It’d be another bad sign if you didn’t sit down beside him, stroking the keys as the two of you played a song that was always in the process of being made and never done.

Surely soon he’d go off to sleep, sharing kisses and affection. You wouldn’t see him again until the evening, when the sun was starting it decent. Day-phobia was real in vampires no matter how much they loved the sun and he didn’t have a worm anymore to help him fight that. But he managed, enjoying every sun rise and sun set he got to see just as the world of night came and went.

Despite staying up all night sometimes just to be beside him, it was fairly often that Astarion would have to nag you to go to sleep. You’d barely have even one eye open, drifting back and forth between dreams and you’d still tell him, “I’m not tired, I’m just resting my eyes,” All because he was up late in kitchen and you didn’t want to leave his side.

He often compromises though, making deals and barters, “If I go upstairs with you, will you go to sleep?”

“…” Surely you aren’t going to say no? “Will you be the big spoon?”

“Of course,” How could he say no to a face like yours? And such a sleepy one too?

He didn’t mind, not really. Some nights he’d stay in bed with you until the morning. Even though nothing would get done, or things he had planned were set aside, he wouldn’t sleep either, he truly really didn’t mind. He could lay there for eternity holding you close and be at peace.

[justasecretflower]

HI HI HIIII! I absolutely loved your SDV Sam Head-cannons and was wondering if we could get some more for Sebastian 🪻

🪻sdv; Sebastian hcs

A/n- hiiiii!!! Ty for the request ofc I can <:

General, friends, crushing, relationship.

⤷ General

💜his mom doesn’t know that he smokes, not because he’s trying to hide it because she’s super oblivious. He doesn’t care if his mom finds out either.

💜speaking of cigarettes. He buys them from a gas station close to pelican town. It’s his little every other week escape.

💜he’s not into shooting games. He never was even when he was younger.

💜has gages.

💜has a tattoo of a spider behind his ear.

💜was coddled by his mom when he was younger. Total mommas boy, so after Maru came into the picture and he got the slightest taste of having a sibling he wasn’t used to it. Didn’t like Maru, still doesn’t.

💜will eat pizza rolls cold.

💜doesn’t know how to gift give lol. Sucks at it during gift exchange time.

⤷ Friends

💜he doesn’t have many friends so he cherishes you.

💜his mom often tells him to go places with you. Because she’s so happy he has some friends to spend his time with.

💜doesn’t like crazy hangouts. Just playing video games together or going on a walk is an okay hang out for him

💜 if you smoke, he’ll share a cigarette with you only if you’re close

💜he doesn’t speak much so your hangouts are mainly you talking or comfortable silence

💜sending each other video game recs :)

💜is terribly awkward around parents

⤷ Dating

💜if you have a thing for hands, you’re in luck, if he finds out, you’re screwed. Suddenly he’s gripping your thighs a little tighter so his veins can show better and his black nail polish looks more shiny..

💜on the flip side, he also thinks you liking his hands is kinda funny, and teases you for it.

💜you guys smoke a lot. Not cigarettes mostly 🍃 and those sessions go crazy, he’s most talkative and clingy when he’s high. You smell him all up close and personal with his lips trailing the back of your neck while he yaps about whatever.

💜actually likes domestic life. Feeds your chickens, waters the indoor plants, and learns to make bomb food.

💜(marriage hc) I think there’s a line of dialogue from Abigail saying something along the lines of you guys getting married keeps him from going to the city that he dreamed about. If that ever made you feel guilty after she said that, Sebastian picks up on it, and assures you everywhere you go he goes, and he’s content with that.

💜he never went to a concert before. I don’t care. He’s such a small, midwestern emo type guy. Because there’s literally nothing in pelican town. He’s never been to an actual big concert with confetti and stuff, so when you guys went to a real concert as a date he got so worked up from the excitement he just grabbed your collar and kissed you. That’s the only time he’s ever been super bold like that.

💜NOT THAT DRY!! He occasionally throws in brain rot language to make you laugh throughout the day, and it’s funny given his sarcastic and otherwise semi dry texting patterns.

💜his mother adores you. Whenever you argue you go straight to her.

💜Maru is also close with you. But Sebastian doesn’t really like that all too much.

Credits- I got the artwork I used from Pinterest, in which they don’t have the creators names, so I switched out the artwork for some random pictures I found. <3 ty random person in my comments that told me I needed to tag the creators I appreciate you

Tags

[javierpena-inatacvest]

Chapter 12- I Love You. I Know.

Summary: As the end of October approaches, you and Javi learn more about celebrating Halloween and Dia De Los Muertos together. After a sleepless night, and a Halloween party at the Murphy's, Javi begins to open up to you about his past.

Word Count: 15.6K (I'm sweating)

Warnings: SMUT (18+), unprotected p in v sex (don't be silly, wrap your willy), oral (m receiving), vaginal fingering, creampie, praise kink, semi-public sex (Oh the poor Murphy's...), PTSD/Anxiety around grief, loss and Javi's past, some angst/tension, mentions of drinking/being drunk (Steve is getting PLASTERED), mentions of food/eating, SO MANY STAR WARS REFERENCES, literally this chapter made me sob while I was writing it, editing it, and re-reading it, I am SO sorry

A/N: You guys. Holy shit. This chapter really had me in my feels. This chapter was def a labor of love, but I'm really happy with how it turned out!! Thank you for as always for all you kind words, you truly, truly, TRULY have no idea how much your support means to me 😭💖 Also please don't kill me after you finish reading this chapter I PROMISE *things* are happening so soon I can literally taste it, but I needed for this chapter to happen first, and you would be silly to think that *things* didn't get its own whole ass chapter and I am just as excited as you AH

Series Masterlist Next Chapter Previous Chapter

The excitement of October’s conclusion was in the air, and the joys of getting to celebrate what you hoped would be the first of many holidays with Javi was at the forefront of your mind. While the end of summer meant school was here and your carefree days were gone until next June, October meant it was time for one of your favorite holidays- Halloween. It was one of your most cherished things to celebrate as a kid, and even still as an adult. The memories of jumping into leaf piles off your swingset with your brothers, dressing up in goofy, homemade costumes to trick-or-treat (because your mom was not about to buy 4 new sets of costumes every single year), carving pumpkins, and stealing as many of your brother’s Kit Kat bars as you could without getting caught, filled your heart with a warmth and joy that you couldn’t quite describe. While the 80 degree temperatures and lack of bright reds and yellows painted across the leaves falling from their trees was much different from the Chicago Octobers you were accustomed to, it hadn’t stopped you from heading full steam into Halloween. 

“So do you have any thoughts on what we should be for Steve and Connie’s? I have no problem going out to buy stuff for costumes, but I can already hear my mom yelling at me for wasting my money on cheaply made clothes I’m gonna wear for 5 hours when I have something perfectly good in my closet.” You rolled your eyes as you shuffled through the hangers, Javi sitting on the edge of your bed folding the laundry you were working on putting away. 

The two of you had gladly accepted the invitation from Steve and Connie to spend the weekend with them in San Antonio, as the Murphy’s planned to host a Halloween party at their house for their friends and co-workers, giving you and Javi a chance to have a fun weekend out of town together. 

“Hmmmm?” He asked, looking up at you as you grabbed a few shirts, examining them for costume potential. “We’re dressing up for this thing?” 

“Yeah, that’s like, the whole point of Halloween, dummy.” You giggled, throwing a few options on the floor before making your way over to your pants. “Didn’t you dress up as a kid for Halloween?” 

Unlike yourself, Javi had spent his whole life celebrating Día de los Muertos, Halloween having nowhere near as much relevance to him as it did to you, spending the end of October and first days of November gathering with his family to spend the day making Pan de Muerto (Day of the Dead sweet bread),  watching the parades on the streets of Downtown Laredo before visiting the cemetery where his grandparents were buried, decorating their graves in cempasúchil (marigold flowers), candles and photographs with his primos (cousins). Since his mom had passed, Javi hadn’t been home to celebrate with his family, and had almost forgone the tradition completely during his time in Colombia, the pain and loss of his mother and the solemn sadness of celebrating alone leading him to try his best to forget about the holiday all together. 

“Uh, no, not, not really. Didn’t really do Halloween, isn’t really as much of a thing down here. My family always celebrated Día de Los Muertos instead.” He replied, almost embarrassed by his answer, not wanting to damper your excitement as you dug through your closet for costumes. 

Your heart sank to your stomach, feeling awful that you hadn’t even taken into consideration that Javi's traditions around this time of year were completely different from what you were used to. The two of you had never really talked about how you wanted to celebrate future holidays, and always had wanted to make sure that the important parts of your lives were celebrated equally. Javi hadn’t said anything after you had spent the past few days putting up Halloween decorations around your apartment, and now you felt like an idiot assuming he had spent his whole life celebrating just like you. 

“Oh… Shit. Javi, I’m so sorry, if you don’t wanna do costumes, we don’t have to, you just hadn’t said anything about Día de Los Muertos so I just assumed that-” 

“Baby, it’s okay.” He pushed himself up off the bed, the width of his broad palms wrapping around your hips, trying to ease the guilt he could tell was rapidly consuming you. “You’re right, I never told you about it. It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything to celebrate it, and I haven’t been home for it since I’ve gotten back from Colombia. I just- I don’t really know how to feel about it, I guess. The last time I did anything for it was before my mom died. I was never able to bring myself to do anything about it while I was gone, and I guess now I just feel really shitty that was the way I decided to handle it.” It broke your heart to see the pain in his eyes, pulling yourself closer to him as you wrapped your arms around his stomach, leaning your head against his chest. It was then, the realization had hit you too- This would be your first year of holidays without Patrick. You didn’t know as much as you would have liked to about Día de Los Muertos, but you did know that it was to celebrate the lives of loved ones you’d lost, a feeling that you and Javi were both all too familiar with. 

“Listen…” You raised your head, looking up at him, arms still intertwined around his waist. “I don’t- I don’t wanna make you do anything that you’re uncomfortable with. I guess this is the first time we’ve ever really talked about this kind of stuff. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you, Jav, and that means celebrating the things that are special to both of us. The things that are important to you are important to me too. I want our lives for us, for our future family, to be filled with all the things we care the most about, whether that means keeping old traditions or making our own new ones. It would mean a lot to me to get to celebrate Día de los Muertos with you, and if it’s okay, I would love to sprinkle in some Halloween too, because I’m fucking dying to carve a pumpkin.” 

You smiled up at him as his hand slid under your jaw, his thumb tracing across your cheek as he tried his best to hold back the tears welling in his eyes. It took everything in him to not ruin his plans, wanting to run into the bedroom, grab the ring out of his sock drawer and propose to you that very instant. Even after all this time, Javi still couldn't believe that he was the person you wanted to share the rest of your life with. That you wanted to intertwine your past, present, and future with his, to have a life, a family, together that the two of you could cherish forever. Never in a million years had he assumed he’d be anywhere close to where he was today, holding the world’s most beautiful, perfect woman in his arms, as she told him how she wanted nothing more than to build a family and spend the rest of her days with him. 

“Osita… I fucking love you so much, you know that?” He leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a soft and deep kiss, your heart racing as he pulled you in tighter. 

“Yeah, I mean, I guess, just a little bit…” You giggled, poking fun at him, considering not a day had passed since the first night he had said it that Javi hadn’t told you just how much he loved you. 

“Shut up, you dork.” He chuckled, making you squeal as he picked you up, playfully shaking you in his grasp before setting you back down. “I’d love nothing more, Hermosa. I don’t know how the fuck you’re supposed to carve a pumpkin or what the hell you have planned for these costumes, but I’m all in. I want it all with you, Osita. Thank you.” 

“Of course. For as much or as little as you want to do for Día de los Muertos, I’m all in too. I’m gonna be honest, I love Hallowen. Not as much as Christmas, but it’s a close second. It means you’re gonna have to trust me with a giant ass knife and cover yourself in pumpkin guts, though.”

“My trust is quickly starting to fade. Seriously though, what the hell are we supposed to dress up as?” He raised an eyebrow at you, nodding over to the pile of clothes you had pulled from your closet, now piled on the floor. 

“Don’t worry, I’ve got some ideas.” 

  The weeks leading up to the holidays had made for fun at home date nights, the both of you genuinely looking forward to learning about the traditions you had both held so dear to your hearts. Almost every night after work, you had done something to celebrate the events leading up to the day. You had shown Javi a few of your favorite Halloween movies, including It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, Beetlejuice, and Ghostbusters, very adamantly insisting to him that those movies were about as scary as you were going to get, blaming your brothers for scarring you after forcing you to watch The Exorcist at the ripe age of 7 years old. In addition to the movies, you had told him about other funny Trick-Or-Treating stories from your childhood, Javi’s favorite being how your brothers, (being the ruthless idiots they were) paid one of their friends in all of their halloween candy to jump out of a bush dressed as a terrifying old lady to scare the absolute shit out of you, and making you quite literally pee your pants. In return Javi shared his favorite memories of cooking in the kitchen with his mom as she made Pan de Muertos for his family, the two of you even attempting to make it one of the nights after work, milling about the kitchen together as Javi told you about his family you had yet to meet, or had passed away long before you. 

After a lengthy hunt, you were able to find pumpkins, bringing them to Chucho’s house to carve them since you had nowhere to put them inside your apartment. You offered him the rest of your Pan de Muertos in exchange for a place to work on your pumpkins, and while he gladly accepted the bread, the three of you knew Chucho was always happy to have you and Javi over, regardless. 

“So tell me, mija,” Chucho spoke in between mouthfuls of sweet bread, rocking back and forth in his chair, “is there a meaning behind carving the pumpkins, or is it just for fun?” 

“Just for fun! Okay, it looks like we’re ready, you want me to show you how to do it, or just let you go for it?” You smiled at Javi, the two of you sitting cross legged on Chucho’s porch, pumpkins open in front of you. 

“You just scoop them out, right?” Javi questioned, looking into the pumpkin with an unsure grimace. “It seems like there's a lot in here, Osita. I have to get all of it out?” 

“Yeah, or else you can’t see the design when you carve it. C’mon you big baby, just stick your hand in there and pull the guts out!” You laughed, digging your hand into your pumpkin, scooping out hearty globs of pumpkin guts, slopping them into the bucket Chucho had set out for you. Reluctantly, Javi joined, you and Chucho both absolutely dying at Javi’s face as his hand met the squishy fibers inside his pumpkin. 

“Jesus, that feels fucking gross!” He laughed, shaking his head as he threw some of the seeds and strings into the trash next to him. 

“You need me to do it for you?” You giggled, flicking a pumpkin seed at him as he winced with the second handful he pulled out. 

“No, cabrón (asshole), I can do it.” Javi grumbled as he rolled his eyes at you, the both of you scooping hearty handfuls of goop. 

“You hear that, Chucho? Calling me an asshole because he’s too scared to pull out pumpkin guts.” You looked back at his dad, giving him a playful grin, his smile already wide from the enjoyment of watching the two of you. With your back turned to Javi, you hadn’t noticed the small handful of seeds he had collected in his hand, lining up his arm to aim right at the back of your head. “I can’t believe that- HEY!” You whipped your neck around, running your hand over the back of your neck, picking seeds and strings out of your hair, seeing Javi snicker to himself as your jaw dropped open in shock. “Did you seriously just throw pumpkin guts at me?!” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, must have been a ghost.” He shrugged, smirking to himself before digging his hand back into his pumpkin. 

“You see this?!” You looked back at Chucho, pointing your finger at Javi, pretending to be stern, although your laughter quickly escaped. “Absolutely ridiculous, I swear.” 

“Javier, that is no way to treat your future esposa! (Wife) No quiero mis nietos ser cubierto en calabaza! Me encantáran en cualquier caso, pero todavía! (I don’t want my future grandchildren covered in pumpkin! I will love them either way, but still!)” Chucho scolded with a smirk, you and Javi silently smiling to each other at the thought of one day doing this with your own children. Javi had tried to stop fighting off his dad’s comments about grandkids a while ago- Chucho knew just as well as the two of you that he would have his grandchildren soon enough. 

“Ella lo pído… (She asked for it…)” Javi muttered under his breath, shooting his gaze up at you as he felt cold goop hit the side of his cheek, wiping the pumpkin you had just thrown at him off with the back of his hand, watching you smirk silently to yourself as you continued to scoop out your pumpkin.

“Ahora… Estamos a mano. (And now… We’re even.)” 

The 3 of you chatted on the porch, the sky now painted a dark black, filled with twinkling constellations above as you finished carving your pumpkins. Yours, a cute ghost with a little smiley face, and Javi’s, what he had tried to convince you and Chucho was also a ghost, even though it looked more like he had just carved a squiggly hole in the middle of his. It took a little prodding and convincing, but as you all talked about how the Peña family had spent many a Día de los Muertos, you and Chucho were able to get Javi to agree to go visit his mom’s gravesite on the Sunday after you got back from Steve and Connie’s party. Chucho had even promised to keep his tias, tios, and primos (aunts, uncles, and cousins) completely out of the picture this year, wanting to give Javi all the time and space he needed to go see his mom for the first time since her funeral. He was reluctant at first, riddled with the guilt of leaving her unvisited all these years, but as he felt the gentle squeeze of your hand, your silent reassurance was all he needed to know that you would be by his side, every step of the way. As you said your goodbyes, Chucho hugged you just a little extra tighter than normal, as if to thank you for everything you had done for his son, and just how thankful he was to have you in his life, too. 

Even though the Murphy’s had very graciously offered to let you and Javi stay on Friday night as well as Saturday, both Steve and Connie very much understood when you had told them on the phone that the only thing that you wanted to do after coming home from the chaos of managing an elementary school Halloween party was take a very, very long nap. You and Javi had spent the night ordering pizza and watching Young Frankenstein, only lasting about 20 minutes into the movie before you were dead asleep, snoring against Javi’s chest, still dressed in If You Give A Mouse A Cookie costume from earlier today. Carrying you to bed and undressing you from your mouse ears and oversized overalls, Javi curled into bed next to you, pulling your body against his as he stared at the ceiling. Despite how hard he tried to fall asleep, he laid there, wide awake as ever, as his head raced with the tornado of thoughts brewing inside his brain. 

Javier Peña had never really considered himself to be an anxious person. For most of his life, he couldn’t be. For the sake of his job, the sake of his family after his Mom passed, Javi had survived the only way he had known how- Block it out, and ignore it. And so far, that strategy had seemed to bode for him pretty darn well. But that was before he had anyone who depended on him, cared about him, anyone who made his life worth living for. That was before he had met you. Now, Javi found himself at the crossroads of a moment he had been waiting for since the moment he had first laid eyes on you. Something that brought him absolute joy and sheer terror at the same time- Javier Peña was going to propose to you, and he was an anxious fucking mess. 

If that in itself wasn’t enough, things at the Laredo County Sheriff's Department had been an absolute shit show. Mexico was the only thing on anyone’s radar, making for long days and high tension at the office, trying to do anything to slow the spread of the cartel’s influence across the border. Day after day, report after report, it felt like the department was drowning in the endless shitty news of new death tolls, record breaking trafficking stats, and lack of control as cocaine moved across the Rio Grande at a groundbreaking pace. Even though he found himself even further removed from Mexico than he ever was in Colombia, he couldn’t help but feel that painful, searing wrench in his gut when he sat down to really think about it. 

You. 

Spending your lives together.

Having a family.

Protecting his wife and kids. 

The things he would do to keep you safe.

The terrible things he had done he had justified were keeping other people safe. 

The imagines of the things he wish he could unsee.

The pain and hurt he wished he could take back. 

The fear of what he was capable of doing. 

So with a knot in his chest from work, a ring hidden away in his sock drawer, and the beginnings of a plan to ask the woman he loved more than life itself to marry him, Javi coped with the weight of his stress the only way he knew how. He couldn’t fucking sleep. 

The thoughts played in his mind on repeat, torturing him with every loop around his brain. He tried his best to close his eyes, to empty his head for a moment of peace, but no matter how much he wished he could have willed himself to sleep, it was no use. By the time the alarm clock on his nightstand read 2:05 AM, Javi had completely given up on the idea of rest for the night, quietly making his way out of bed to go wander around the living room. It wasn’t long before you too were also awake, rolling over in your sleep to find Javi’s space in the bed cold and empty. Rubbing your eyes and propping yourself up against your pillow, you scanned around the darkness of your room as you came to, realizing that Javi was nowhere to be found.  Draping one of the blankets from your bed over you, you crept into the hallway, greeted by the soft light of one of the living room lamps painting shadows against the wall. 

“Javi, are you up?” Your voice still soft and sleepy, rubbing your hand along your face, squinting from the sudden brightness that lit up the room. 

“Osita, baby, did I wake you up? I'm so sorry. Go back to bed, okay?” Javi shot up from the couch, setting down whatever book he had been half focused on reading as he watched your bed headed figure meander into the living room. 

“No, it’s okay.” You grumbled, holding out your blanket covered arms for Javi to melt his body into yours, wrapping you in a tight hug. You pressed your head into the bare skin of his chest, snaking your hands around his waist as he planted his lips against the the top of your head, burying his nose in your tangled hair. “Baby, what’s going on? Why can’t you sleep? I’m worried about you, Jav.” 

“I’m… Yeah, I’m okay, Hermosa. Just a lot on my mind.” He sighed, his exhale still buried in your hair as he savored the smell of you, still lingering even in your sleepy state. 

His pause alone was enough to know okay wasn’t the word that you would use to describe Javi right now. His words were burdened and fatigued, making it clear that whatever was on his mind was weighing on him more heavily than he wanted to admit. 

“Are you sure? Javi, if you wanna talk about anything, you know I’m always here, right?” 

You wanted so desperately to pry. Everything in you had a feeling that whatever was keeping him up were entangled in the parts of his dark parts past, the last secrets holding up the final wall between the two of you. You knew from your brothers how hard it was to talk about the pain and suffering they had witnessed, and begging them to talk about it before they were ready only seemed to make it worse. Hell, after Patrick died, it felt like you didn’t sleep for weeks, and it had taken you months to open up about it. You knew Javi hurt, and as much as you wanted to, digging deeper into the things that plagued him in his restless nights wasn’t what he needed right now. Right now, he just needed someone to be there for him. 

“Is there anything I can do, Javi? I just wanna help.” The breath of your sympathetic whispers were hot against Javi’s skin, squeezing your arms to pull him as close to you as he could. He paused for a moment, letting out another deep breath as cradled the back of your head with his palm, running his hands through your hair. 

“Will- Will you stay up with me? Just a little bit longer?” His voice trembled as you turned your head to lock your eyes with his, the gentle nod of your head bringing him a moment of relief. 

“Of course, baby. Of course I’ll stay up with you. Do you wanna turn on the TV or put on a movie? Sometimes that helps me sleep.” You stretched your arms over your head, scrunching your face as you yawned before tugging your blanket tighter around your body. 

“Believe me, Hermosa, I know it does.” He let out a soft chuckle as he pressed a soft kiss against your forehead. 

“Oh shit, yeah that is true. I don’t even think I made it halfway through Young Frankenstein tonight, which is a crime. It’s such a good movie. I don’t even remember getting into bed.” You yawned again, this time taking one of your blanket covered fists to try and rub the sleep out of your eyes, forcing yourself to stay awake. 

“Well, if you give a mouse pizza and a movie after a long day at school, then she’ll probably need her boyfriend to carry her to bed because she’s so tired.” Now awake enough, Javi’s cute jab at your costume for school made you let out a little giggle, giving him a little shove with your blanket wrapped body. “Why don’t we turn the rest of it on, so you can finish watching?” 

“I don’t wanna fall asleep on you, Javi.” You grumbled, pouting up at him, considering he had just asked you to stay awake with him. 

“It’s okay. As long as I have you by me, I’ll be alright, I promise.” Reluctantly, you nodded in agreement, plopping yourself on the couch as Javi turned on the TV, rewinding the VHS tape to the point where you had fallen asleep earlier before joining you, draping his arm around your shoulder as you tucked in your knees and scooted closer to him. You sat for a few minutes in silence, letting the sounds of the movie fill the background. As you turned your head to look up at Javi, you could tell that even though his eyes were pointed at the screen, there was no way he was really watching the movie. Reaching up your hand, you ran your fingers across the length of his strong jaw, his stubble scratching against your palm, forcing him to look back at you. Your eyes met his, the sweet, chocolate brown looking back at you, with a confusing mix of exhaustion, guilt, want and helplessness. You brought your face closer to his, your lips now only inches apart as your whispers danced against his mouth, desperate to find something to ease his pain. 

“What do you need, Javi? Whatever you need, I’ll give it to you.” 

His tongue swept against his bottom lip, taking one last shaky breath before his words left his body with his exhale. 

“You. I need you.” 

His hands found their way to the bare skin of your thighs, his fingertips barely brushing against your flesh as he traced his way up to your torso, toying with the hem of one of his shirts that always looked so much better on you than him. Pressing his palm against the soft curves of your stomach, he tugged at the waistband of your sleep shorts, causing you to shift your body so he could slide them down your legs. Reaching over towards his lap, you grasped at his boxers, feeling him already half hard under the fabric as you rubbed your hand against him. Javi held your hips, slowly guiding you to straddle him as you kicked your shorts off your feet, leaving them in a pile on the ground. Slowly, you began to grind deeper into his lap, the feeling of him now fully hard beneath you. Gently prompting you to raise your arms over your head, Javi lifted your shirt, leaving you bare as he dropped it next to your shorts. 

“Is this okay?” Javi rasped, pressing languid kisses against your neck and collarbone as you ran your hands against the width of his broad shoulders. 

“Of course, baby.” Your reply low and horse as you began to drag the fabric of his boxers lower and lower, finally letting his cock spring free as his waistband pushed past. You brought your palm to your mouth, licking a long, wet strip across it before wrapping it around his length, thumbing over the precum already leaking from his tip. Javi tilted his head against the back of the couch as you twisted your wrist, stroking his cock, letting out a hushed moan before sitting back up to watch you. 

“You’re fucking perfect, Osita. I don’t deserve you.” He dug his fingertips into the soft flesh of your ass, his sweet, brown eyes locked on yours as you pressed against him, nibbling at his ear. 

“You deserve everything, Javi. I could give you everything in the world and it still wouldn’t be enough.” Javi grasped at your face, cupping your cheeks as he pressed his lips against yours in a deep, intense kiss, his voice shaky and lustful as his mouth parted with yours before he spoke. 

“I don’t need anything besides you, Osita. Eres mi todo. Estás todo lo que necesito. (You are my everything. You’re all I’ll ever need.) He shuttered, letting out a low groan as you continued to rub your hand along his length, Javi now reaching down to trace lazy circles around your clit before dipping his fingers inside your wet heat. His fullness made you whimper, wrapping tighter around his cock as you stroked him, now bucking your hips against his hand as his fingers curled, bumping against the spongy spot that made you lose control. “Does that feel good, sweet girl? Fuck, you’re so wet. 

“Mhmmmmm.” You gasped, rapidly nodding your head as his digits pulsed inside you, your cunt already drenched, desperate to feel the fullness of his dick, despite the thickness of his fingers. Carefully, you lifted your hips, moving yourself closer to him as you ran your fingers through the soft ends of his sleepy curls. Sitting up on your knees, Javi removed his hand as he watched you hover over him, his palms roaming to your hips as you guided his tip through your folds, collecting your arousal before lining him up with your entrance. His jaw went slack as you lowered down on to him, taking your time as you savored the stretch of every sweet inch until you had bottomed out at his base. 

“Fuckkk, baby.” He mewled, gently guiding his hands against your hips as you dragged yourself up along his length before headfully sinking back down, the tip of his cock bumping against your cervix with each movement. Javi nipped at your neck, trailing hot, wet kisses down your collarbone before stopping at your breasts, flicking this tongue along each of your pebbled nipples as you pushed deeper into his lap, whimpering at his touch. “My sweet girl, always taking me so well, like you were fucking made for me, baby. God, you’re so fucking gorgeous.” Javi pulled you in tighter, caging his chest against yours as his arms wrapped around the small of your back as he rested his face in the crook of your neck. “Fuck, I love you so much, Osita.” His words were desperate and needy against your bare skin, digging your fingers into his dark curls as you swirled your hips around his cock. 

“I love you too, Javi. More than anything.” You moaned as felt Javi shift his weight, thrusting upwards as he buried himself deep inside you. His fullness had you digging your nails into the nape of his neck, your body melting into his with each push and pull against each other. You could feel the all too familiar tingle creeping up your legs and through the base of your spine as Javi’s hand found its way to circle around your clit, already throbbing as the curled hair around his base brushed against your sensitive nerves. The lewd noises of your moans and tangled bodies drowned out the sounds of the TV behind you, practically hearing how wet you were as Javi cock slipped in and out of your heat, his pace pounding as he punched into you. You could feel your walls beginning to tighten around him, arousal pooling in your belly, Javi knowing you were close as you whimpered into the crook of his neck. “Fuck baby, don’t stop- ahhhh- please don’t stop, I’m so close.” 

“I know, baby, I know. Let go for me, Osita. Wanna feel you soak my lap before I fuck you full of me. Cum for me baby, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” Javi’s fingers rubbed faster along your clit as you rolled your hips, sinking yourself deeper onto his cock with each thrust, your vision going white as you could feel yourself come undone. 

“Javi, Javi- fuck- Javi, Jav-ahhhhhh.” You could feel yourself gush around him, crying out his name as you reached your high, your legs shaking and fingers digging into his skin, pleasure flowing through your veins. 

“That’s it, Hermosa. Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum too, fuck myself so deep inside you. My perfect girl. Mierda- Quiero que seas mío para siempre, mi amor. Solo tú, por siempre y para siempre. (Shit- I want you to be mine forever, my love. Only you, forever and always). Fuck me, I- fuckkkk.” Javi hissed as he buried himself deep in your hilt, spilling every drop of his spend against your walls. You could feel the mixture of the both of you dripping down your thighs, soaking Javi’s lap as you slumped into his body, your heart racing as the damp curls of his hair pressed against your shoulder. You both sat there for a moment, letting your chests rise and fall together in sync as you came to. “Fuck me, Osita. I could stay like this forever, baby.”

“You and me both. Although, I feel like that would make things awfully inconvenient for the both of us.” Your soft, sleepy giggles making Javi smile as he ran his fingers though the twisted ends of your hair. Carefully, you lifted yourself up, hissing at the loss of Javi inside you. 

“Thank you, Osita.” Javi whispered, tenderly circling his thumb along your jaw as you curled up next to him. 

“For what?” 

“Just- fuck, you’re so good to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you. So, I just- thank you. Thank you for being everything I need.” Planting a gentle kiss on your forehead, Javi pulled you tighter, holding you in his arms as you leaned against him. 

“I’ll always be here for you, Javi. I promise.” 

You hoped he knew. That he knew your words were true. That when the time came for him to open up to you, letting you into the painful past that loomed above him, that you wouldn’t run. You would be right by his side, just as you were right now. 

“Well good morning, Sleeping Beauty.” Javi chuckled as you twisted in the passenger seat, stretching your arms over your head, scrunching your face, letting out a lengthy yawn. 

“Fuck, how long was I asleep for? How much longer do we have left? Sorry, I wasn’t planning on sleeping that long, I just wanted to take a nap for a little while we drove.” You ran your hands over your face, looking out at the bright Texas sun shining over the neat suburban neighborhood you now found yourself driving through. Javi reached over across the center console, rubbing his hand along your thigh as he chuckled to himself. 

“Baby, I knew from the moment you fell asleep you were gonna be out for the rest of the drive, it’s okay. I was just worried I was gonna have to wake you up in the Murphy’s driveway.” You grumbled as you looked over at Javi, giving him a playful swat against his arm, shaking your head, now emerging from your post nap fog. 

“Well if we weren't up fucking at 2:30 in the morning, perhaps I wouldn’t be so tired, hmmmm?” 

Javi rolled his eyes as you poked fun at how the both of you had found yourselves last night, trying to ease Javi’s sleeplessness. While your solution had worked enough to ease him back to bed, it had now left you wide awake, wondering what had been going through Javi’s head, torturing him enough to keep him up. It had also meant that the two of you had slept in much longer than you intended, leaving later than planned for Steve and Connie’s. The two of you had quickly packed your things and hit the road, stopping to grab lunch on the way before you found yourself dead asleep next to Javi for the last hour and a half of your journey to San Antonio. With only a few minutes now left in your drive, you peered out the window, admiring the houses that lined the quiet streets of the Murphy’s neighborhood. 

“This is a cute subdivision.” You smiled over at Javi, admiring the houses, charming and inviting as they were freshly decorated from Halloween. 

“Yeah, it is pretty nice.” He grinned back, wrapping his palm around your thigh, giving your leg a little squeeze. He took a deep breath, his voice now shifting in tone, becoming more shaky and nervous. “Would you uh- would you, um, wanna live in a neighborhood like this?” 

“Maybe. I don’t know, the houses are all really close together. I spent so much of my life in the city, and even at my house growing up, everything always felt so cramped. After coming here, especially after seeing your ranch, I don’t know, I would love to be somewhere with more space. But that’s a big ask, so, maybe one day if it works out, I guess.” You reached over, rubbing your hand along Javi’s arm, your soft smile meeting his tender gaze as he smirked, nodding to himself. 

“Yeah, one day.” 

Taking a last turn down one of the neighborhood streets, the two of you pulled up to the quaint two story home belonging to the Murphy’s. Turning off the ignition, Javi paused for a moment, grinning to himself as he ran the hand resting on your leg up to your face, cupping your check as his eyes roamed the length of your body, taking every inch of you in as his sweet brown eyes consumed you. “I love you, Osita.”  

“I love you too, Jav.” Both of your heads tilted, your lips gently pressing against one anothers as you traced your hand through Javi’s dark curls, pulling him closer into you. You could feel his smile against your mouth as his tongue barely swiped against your bottom lip, the two of you so lost in the moment, you hadn’t even seen Steve make his way out of the house to greet you, let alone the fact that he was now standing at the driver’s side door, hands on his hips as he watched your impromptu makeout session in Javi’s truck. 

“You two lovebirds want help bringin’ your bags in, or do I need to give you a minute?” Steve chuckled to himself as you and Javi shot up, hearts racing and faces going white hearing his distinct drawl and rapid tapping at the driver’s side window. Taking a deep breath to compose himself, Javi placed one more soft kiss on your forehead before promptly turning around to flip off Steve and opening the driver’s side door. “You two are worse than a pair of horny teenagers, I swear.” You could hear Steve still snickering to himself as you exited out your side of the car, making your way over to find Javi and Steve in a tight hug, lovingly patting each other on the back. 

“Fuck off, Murph.” Javi shook his head against Steve’s embrace, pulling away to grab your two bags from the backseat. 

“Listen, I’m not the one makin’ out in my driveway.” Steve shrugged as you sheepishly emerged from your side of the truck, smiling at you as grimaced at him. 

“He started it…” You glanced over at Javi, you and Steve now both giggling as he pulled you in for a hug. 

“Of course he did, wouldn’t put anything past this old bastard. How ya doin’ sweetheart? Good to see the both of you, we’re really glad you guys could make it. 

“She’s doing great after the hour and a half nap she took on the way here.” Javi interjected, slamming the truck door behind him, slinging both of your bags over his shoulder. 

“Whatever, you meanie. In my defense, I was not planning to sleep that long, and I think Halloween exhaustion got the best of me.” You shot Javi a quick wink, trying to bite down on your lip before turning back to face Steve. 

“Listen, I don’t blame ya. I’m fuckin’ exhausted after trick-or-treating with 3 kids, let alone tryin’ to keep ‘em wrangled at school all day. I love those girls, but I don’t think I could've gotten them in my parents car fast enough when they came to pick ‘em up this morning. Here, come on in, I won’t make you stand out in the driveway all day, unless you need to make out more.” 

As you stepped into the Murphy home, you were greeted by an abundance of Halloween streamers and banners hanging in the living room and up the stairwell to the second floor, along with a few Barbie dolls and accessories scattered across the entryway, nearly stepping on one as you came through the door. You could smell the sweet scent of something baking in the kitchen as Connie came rushing through the hallway, arms outstretched to greet you and Javi. “Oh it’s so good to see you two, thank you so much for coming!” Connie squeezed you and Javi in a tight hug before she backed away, kicking one of the toys on the floor across the room. “Sorry about the Barbies, I told the girls to clean up before they left for their grandparents this morning but I think all 3 of them are still running on a sugar high from last night and that obviously didn’t happen.” 

“Thank you so much for having us! Don’t worry about it at all, I totally understand! Javi was just telling me on the way over how much he was hoping the girls had Barbies he could play with anyways!” The 3 of you laughed as Javi rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest as you gave him a smirk and a little nudge. 

“Fuck, I forgot how funny she was Jav.” Steve snickered to himself, picking up one of the Barbies and tossing it across the room into one of the toy baskets along the wall. “Seriously though, we are really glad you guys could make it. Your birthday party was fun as hell, old man. Glad to be close enough to actually see each other and do stuff like this again.” 

Before Javi would respond, you all jumped, startled by the sound of the kitchen timer beeping rapidly from the other room. “Oh crap, sorry, I gotta grab the cupcakes out of the oven!” Connie grimaced apologetically, making her way back to the kitchen. 

“Do you need any help?” You asked, excited to spend more time with Connie. 

“Oh my gosh actually if you could help with frosting the cupcakes that would be amazing. I made these yesterday for Olivia and Abby’s class parties, and I had no idea it was gonna take so long and was worried I wasn’t going to have enough time for all of them before the party! Thank you!” 

“Of course!” You replied, grinning at her before following her lead to the kitchen, giving a little wave as you disappeared around the hall, looking back at Steve and Javi. “Have fun, you two.” 

Steve paused for a moment until the both of you were out of sight, waiting to forcefully slap his hand against Javi’s chest, making him groan from the unexpected pain. 

“What the fuck was that for, you jackass?” Javi winced, glaring at Steve. 

“Where the fuck’s the ring, man?! Steve hissed through gritted teeth, looking back at Javi in disappointment. “I thought you were gonna fuckin’ do it after you got back from Chicago and met her family?! I thought everything was all good with- oh shit, did something happen with the ho-” 

“Shhhhhh! You fuckin’ idiot, please, talk louder, I don’t think the people at the end of the street could hear you.” Javi looked around the corner, clenching his jaw, praying that you hadn’t heard anything from the kitchen. 

“I’m not that fuckin’ loud… Shit, what the fuck happened then?” Steve grumbled, looking over at Javi with concern. 

“Can we maybe talk about proposal plans somewhere that’s not right by the woman I’m trying to propose to?” Running his thumb over his balled fists, Javi’s eyes darted back and forth, staying on the lookout for your return. 

“Fine, fine, fine. I’ll show you where the guest room is and then you can tell me.” Steve motioned up the stairs, Javi trailing behind with both your bags draped around his shoulders

“Was I really that fuckin’ loud?” 

“…Have you heard yourself talk?” 

“So how’s everything been going at work? There definitely was a full moon sometime in the past week because things were crazy at the hospital, I’m sure they had to be equally as bad at an elementary school.” You and Connie giggled as you squeezed a dollop of orange frosting onto one of the cupcakes before taking one of the little bags to pipe on eyes and a mouth to make it look like a pumpkin. 

“Oh my god, I think it must have been on Wednesday, I had a boy cut another girl’s hair with scissors and then had to call another parent because her daughter bit another kid at recess pretending to play werewolves. I felt really bad we didn’t come last night, I was exhausted after our Halloween party, I fell asleep on poor Javi at like, 8 o’clock.” 

Although you found yourself laughing with Connie again, you couldn’t help but shake the uncomfortable feeling you had in your gut as you thought about after you had woken up in the middle of the night to find Javi wide awake and distressed. You carefully set down your spatula, taking a deep breath before glancing over at Connie, still frosting next to you. “Hey, uh, Connie? Can, um- Can I ask you something?” Connie immediately sensed the shift in your tone, putting down her cupcake. 

“Of course, honey. What’s going on?” 

“Did um, did- Did Steve ever- ever talk to you? About all the stuff that happened in Colombia? I mean like, I know you were there, but I don’t know. Sorry, I don’t know what I’m trying to ask, this is probably way too personal, I-” You could feel yourself shrinking, retracting in embarrassment at your overly intrusive question, unable to finish your thought before Connie cut you off, placing her hand on your shoulder. 

“Oh, honey…” Her eyes were filled with sympathy as they looked back at yours, letting out a sigh before she responded. “Did something happen?” You began to nod your head no, even though you could feel the words yes burning in your throat. You took another shaky breath, trying to hold back the tears now welling in your eyes as you spoke. 

“No I mean- well, yeah, I guess. Last night, I woke up and Javi wasn’t in bed. He was out in the living room and I could tell that something was bothering him. I don’t know- maybe it was nothing. I just- when my brothers came back from active duty, there were a lot of things that kind of just went unspoken. I knew it was hard for them to talk about. Charlie handled it okay, but my brother Patrick never wanted to talk to anyone about what happened, and it just- I don’t know Connie, I don’t think Javi would ever do anything stupid like he did, but- fuck- it scares me sometimes. I know Javi’s done things that he’s probably not proud of, and I get it’s part of the nature of what his job was. I don’t care. I really don’t. People do shitty things when they’re put in shitty situations. But he never talks about it. Ever. Does… Does he not trust me? I care about him so much, Con. More than anything. I get so worried about him.” 

Your tears were now streaming down your cheeks, leaving your face wet as you wiped the back of your hand across your skin to try and do some form of damage control before Connie embraced you, pulling you in for a hug, tightly wrapping her arms around you. “Oh sweetheart. Of course he trusts you. When Steve came back, he was a mess. I don’t think it really all hit him until he was finally home. I guess you’re right, it was different because I was there, but even then, there were things that happened that I didn’t know about. After begging and begging him, I finally got him to go to see someone and it really helped, but even now, there’s times where it still creeps up on him. Honey, Javi loves you so much. I didn’t think I’d ever live to see the day he was in love as he is with you. If he’s anything like Steve, he just doesn't wanna hurt you.” 

You sniffled, taking a step back to wipe your nose with your sleeve, your lip trembling as you tried to keep from crying harder than you already were. “But that’s what hurts, Connie. It hurts me to think he has to keep this from me, like I’m gonna think less of him for what he’s been through.” 

“I know. Have you talked to him about it?” Connie’s voice was gentle and sweet, rubbing her hand along your arm as she listened to what you needed to get off your chest. 

“No… I guess I should have. I never wanted to pry. I know it’s hard to talk about, I just- I wanna be there for him Connie. I don’t want him to have to do it all on his own.” You shifted your gaze to the ground, guilt washing over you. After Patrick, you couldn’t live with the idea of letting Javi try to suffer through his past alone. You loved him more than anything- and even the slightest thought of going through anything similar to what had happened to Patrick again with Javi was almost paralyzing. 

“I think the best thing you can do is to go talk to him.” Looking back up, you saw Connie smiling at you, trying to convince you that everything would be okay, even if it felt like it wasn’t. “Why don’t you go find him? Party’s starting soon anyways, you can go change into your costumes and come down wherever you’re ready. I’ll be just fine with the cupcakes, tell Steve can put himself to work frosting.” The both of you grinned as you tried to wipe your tears, nodding slowly in agreement. 

“Thanks, Connie.” You whispered into her shoulder as you pulled her in for a hug before heading up the stairs to find where Javi and Steve had gone. It didn’t take you long to find the pair, hearing their voices carry through the hallway from the slightly cracked door of the guest bedroom. You were about to knock and interrupt their conversation, stopping yourself with your fist barely touching the door as you tried to make out what they were talking about. 

“The offer was in fucking cash, too. I was trying to make it easier so I could speed up the process, but it’s been taking them so goddamn long to close on everything so I can finally go sign the fucking paperwork.” 

“That fuckin’ blows, Jav. I’m sorry. It’s not like she knows any better, though. It’ll still be a huge fuckin’ surprise, I’ll tell you that much.” 

“I know. It’s been killing me to wait this long. I just want it to be perfect, Steve. She deserves everything. Honestly, I’m kinda glad it bought me some more time. I need to find a way to get her to see it before everything’s official in case she fucking hates it.” 

“Javi. She’s not gonna hate it. Fuck it, tell her Connie and I are lookin’ for somethin’ and we wanted you two to go see it for us. I don’t know, maybe that’s too obvious. Speakin’ of which, I should probably go check to see if she needs anything before this party, I’m already in the fuckin’ dog house for forgettin’ to bring the girl’s trick-or-treatin’ bags to school, I don’t need to be in trouble for anything else.” 

What the hell were they talking about? What was Javi signing? Why was it taking so long? What the hell did it have to do with you? Wait… holy fuck. No way… Was he- 

Before you could finish your thought, you suddenly realized Steve was making his way towards the door. You quickly rapped your fist against the wood, trying to play off the fact you had been eavesdropping and make it look like you had just unassumingly made your way upstairs, not overhearing the conversation the two were just having. 

Knock, knock. 

“Hey, it’s me! Uh, Steve, Con wants to know if you can help her with the cupcakes really quick.” You pushed open the door, trying your best to smile at the suspicious pair as Steve shook his head, looking back at Javi. 

“It’s always fuckin’ somethin’. I don’t even know what I did wrong this time, I swear.” Steve held up his hands defensively, sliding his way past you in the doorway before heading downstairs, leaving you standing there awkwardly, unsure how to feel after your conversation with Connie and the one you had just overheard. 

“Hey, Osita. How’s everything goin’ down there? Sorry, we were just about to come down and- Hey, baby, you okay?” Javi stood up, concern spreading across his face from the strange scrunch in your brow as you stared at the floor. 

“Ummmm…” You froze for a moment, unsure of what to do. On the one hand, your conversation with Connie had you ready to confront Javi, to finally work up the courage to ask him about the past life he had tried his best to keep from you. But as you glanced over at him, seeing his sweet brown eyes and stupidly handsome face, remembering the discussion you had just overheard through the doorway, the other hand meant you weren’t at risk of ruining your night that the two of you had been so looking forward to, and right now, the other hand was going to have to be the one you needed to play. “Yeah, yeah, I’m good, I just- I was gonna ask you something but forgot what I was gonna say. I’m sure I’ll remember it eventually.” You smiled at Javi, neither of you completely convinced by your response. “But um, Connie said that people are gonna start getting here soon, so we can change into our costumes if you want.” A smirk slowly stretched across your cheeks as you nodded over to the black duffle bags laying on the bed. 

Javi’s grin matched yours quickly, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer against him as you giggled. “You sure we’re not gonna be the only ones dressed up?” 

“Well considering it’s a Halloween party and I literally just talked to Connie about what she and Steve are wearing downstairs, I’m gonna give it a pretty confident yes. Worst case, it just looks like you’re wearing a white shirt and vest, Mr. Solo. You stuck up, half-witted, scruffy looking nerf herder.” You raised your eyebrows, playfully poking at his chest. Javi paused, shaking his head at your quote, firing one right back at you as he bit down on his lip. 

“You just like me because I’m a scoundrel. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.” 

“I happen to like nice men.” 

“I am a nice man.”  

Javi cupped your face, pulling you in for a long, heavy kiss before backing away to unpack your bags, shooting you a quick wink as you rolled your eyes. Jesus, he even found a way to make Star Wars sexy. Just when you thought you couldn’t be anymore in love, Javier Peña never failed to find a way to make you realize you’d never stop falling for him. 

After putting in what felt like the 74th bobby pin into your hair after getting the last braid wrapped over your head, you gave yourself a once over in the mirror, pleasantly surprised by how well your costume had turned out. While Javi was disappointed you were adamant you were not going as Princess Leia from Return of the Jedi and showing up in front of a group of strangers at Steve and Connie’s party in her slave costume, you and Javi both agreed that Hoth Princess Leia was definitely the next best look. Staring at you with his puppy dog eyes, Javi had been adamant about waiting with you as you finished getting ready, leaning his hip against the bathroom counter, arms crossed over his chest as he watched you finish the last of your hair and makeup. 

“Okay, I think that should stay. All those years of braiding my hair for under my hockey helmet are finally coming in handy for something.” You snickered, pushing the final clip into your hair to hold it into place, giving yourself a once over in the mirror. As you looked yourself down, Javi’s eyes wandered up and down your body just as fast, practically undressing you as fast as you had put your costume on. 

“Goddamn, Osita… Fuck, you’re so hot.” 

“Me? Jesus Christ, Javi. You put Harrison Ford to shame with how fucking good you look. I like Han Solo better with a mustache anyways.” You licked your tongue against your bottom lip, running your hands along the muscles of his arms, straining against the tight henley shirt he was wearing under his vest. You were no better than Javi, practically having to force yourself to not look in his general direction while you were getting ready to prevent yourself from pouncing on him. But given the lack of chatter downstairs, and the impressive speed at which the two of you had gotten ready, you really couldn’t help yourself. Slowly, you let your hands begin to slip down his arms and across his chest, palming at the denim of his black jeans as he let out a deep groan. 

“Hermosa…” He hissed against your neck as you grasped at the bulge now growing under his pants, your other hand now making its way down to undo his belt, the clinking of the metal drowned out by Javi’s heavy panting. You began lowering your body, sliding Javi’s pants and boxers down his thighs as his cock sprang free, his tip already red and leaking with precum. You rested on your knees, face to face with his length as you wrapped your hand around him, slowly stroking him a few times. 

“This okay, Captain Solo?” You batted your lashes at him, giving him a wink before letting your spit dribble onto his cock, taking his tip into your mouth and swirling your tongue around it. Curling your fingers around his base, you began to twist your wrist, hollowing out your cheeks as you took him deeper into your mouth. 

“Oh, fuck me. Holy shit, Osita.” He moaned, tilting his head back, letting his jaw go slack as your head bobbed back and forth. He gently rested his hand along the side of your face, helping to guide you along his length as you took him deeper and deeper down your throat. “Jesus Christ, baby. Fuck, that feels so good. You look so hot, god fuckin’ dammit.” Javi’s words were labored and shaky as you started to increase your pace, wrapping your free hand around the back of his bare thigh, digging your fingertips into his leg. Feeling the pressure beginning to build in his stomach, Javi began rocking his hips, his jaw completely slack as he looked down at the sight of how well you took him in your mouth, saliva dribbling down your chin as sucked along his cock, hard and heavy on your tongue. “Fuck, Osita. I’m not gonna last much longer. Can I cum like this, baby? Fill up that- fuck- fill up that pretty little mouth of yours?”” 

You glanced up at him, nodding, your lips still wrapped around his dick, the motions of your head and wrist now becoming faster and sloppier as you watched Javi’s brow scrunch and jaw clench, a sign you knew all too well that he was moments away from coming undone. 

“Such a good fucking girl, taking me so well. Fuck, baby- shit- se sientes tan bien, estoy tan cercaaahhhhhh-” (you feel so good, I’m so closeeeee-). The hot ropes of his spend coated the back of your throat, the salty, tangy mix filling your mouth as Javi whined, giving his hips one last push as kept your lips wrapped around him, making sure that you had milked him of every last drop before releasing. Letting your spit and his release fall from the corners of your lips, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, smirking up at Javi’s blissed out expression. “Jesus Christ, Osita. You’re too fucking good at that. Holy shit. Lemme take care of-“ 

You held up your hand to stop him as you stood up, your gesture cutting off the rest of his sentence as you helped to pull up his jeans and boxers still resting along his thighs. “I’m allowed to give my hot ass boyfriend blowjobs without anything in return. C’mon, we better get downstairs before Steve walks in on us again.” You pressed up on your tiptoes, planting a quick kiss on Javi’s lips as he reached down to buckle his belt before the two of you tried your best to fix yourself up in the mirror to avoid the inevitable shit Steve was about to give the both of you. Giving Javi a quick nod in the mirror before turning off the light and heading out the door, he gave your ass a playful smack, making you squeal in surprise, making you turn on your heels. Resting his hand on his hip, he beamed at you, biting down on his lip. 

“Fuck, I love you.” 

“I know.” 

The Murphy’s living room had begun to pool with guests as you made your way down the stairs, looking for Steve and Connie amongst the crowd. You and Javi both grabbed a beer from the cooler at the bottom of the stairwell, quickly turning around as you heard Steve’s familiar twang approaching behind you. 

“Well I’ll be damned. You got this motherfucker in a costume? He must really love you.” Steve chuckled, shaking Javi by the shoulders. “And Star Wars too?! You asshole, how many times did I try to tell you they were good fuckin’ movies?! You shoulda dressed him up like Jabba the Hut.” You and Steve cackled as Javi rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, and what the fuck are you supposed to be? A sad pirate?” Javi jabbed, poking fun at Steve’s poorly put together costume. 

“Listen, Olivia and Abby both wanted to be the Little Mermaid, so we had two Ariel’s, Con was Ursula, Madison was the yellow fish and I didn’t wanna be that annoying ass crab, so pirate it was, asshole.” Steve retorted, punching at Javi’s arm, the two of them laughing at each other like little boys. “Alright, go enjoy yourselves lovebirds, I’ll see ya in a little bit. And Javi?”

“Yeah Murph?” 

“You really gotta start checkin’ your pants, buddy.” 

Javi’s cheeks turned red, his eyes darting down to his zipper, still all the way undone from your activities upstairs, the both of you grimacing at each other, sheepishly avoiding eye contact with Steve as he disappeared into the crowd. 

It really wasn’t a surprise to Javi how many friends the Murphy’s had already managed to make in their time since moving to San Antonio. Their house was quickly crowded with all sorts of people- Steve and Connie’s co-workers, neighbors, parents of friends Olivia and Abby had made at school, regardless of where the party goers were from, everyone had collectively agreed to make adult Halloween just as fun as any kids. You and Javi were having a great time catching up with Steve and Connie, as well as meeting some of their other close friends, one of Connie’s neighbors being an elementary school teacher, giving you two plenty to commiserate about from the hellish week it had been. It didn’t take long for the party to move outside, Steve drunkenly deciding that he needed to make a bonfire, despite adamant argument that with the amount of alcohol Steve had in his system, he was going to spontaneously combust if he got close enough to a flame. Javi, sober enough to still help his friend make rational decisions, was glad that Steve was happy to let him build the bonfire. 

“The force is strong with you, Han Solo.” You giggled, Javi wrapping his arm around your shoulder, pressing a soft kiss into your forehead as the two of you stared into the flickering orange glow of the fire pit. 

“Not strong enough to extinguish Steve if he got close enough to it. Hey, I got shit all over my hands, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and wash ‘em off. You need anything while I’m inside, Princess?” You smiled as you nudged Javi at the nickname he had been adamant about using since you had put on your costume. 

“I’m good, thank you. I’m gonna go wait over on the swingset so I don’t completely reek of bonfire later.” Javi nodded as he slid his hand down your back, giving your ass a quick squeeze before making his way through the crowd, heading towards the house. Surprised no one else had capitalized on the chance to sit down, you wandered over to the wooden playset at the corner of the Murphy’s backyard, taking a seat on one of the plastic swings, kicking your feet against the grass below. 

“Hey, there she is! How goes it, Leia?” Taking a few long strides through the yard, Steve was now quickly making his way over to you, stumbling over his own feet as he somehow managed to sit himself down on the swing next to you. You tried your best not to laugh at Steve’s drunken state, but his current antics weren’t making it very easy on you. 

“I could ask the same to you. You doin’ okay there, pirate?” 

“Fuck sweetheart, I’m doin’ fuckin’ great. Where’s the asshole?” 

“Inside, I’m sure he’ll be back out soon.” You snickered at Steve watching the beer dribble down his chin from the overly confident swig he had taken. 

“Good, I don’t need ‘em right now. You were the one I was lookin’ for.” Steve pointed in your general direction, but clearly wasn’t aware enough to hit his target head on. 

“Me?” You laughed, pointing back to yourself. 

“Yes, you. You talk to him yet?”

“About?” You paused, wondering if Steve had any inkling of the conversation you were planning to have earlier, or if he was drunkenly deciding you and Javi needed to discuss something else. 

“You know about what. I talked to Connie earlier. I figured I owed it to you to come talk to you about it, too.” 

Your heart began to race, that uncomfortable feeling once again beginning to churn in your stomach as you thought about the things you and Connie had discussed earlier. “Steve, you don’t owe me anything, I-” 

“No, I do. Hold on a second.” Steve turned away, letting out a hearty burp, pouding on his chest before facing back towards you. “Sorry, I’ve been holdin’ that in for like 10 minutes, I needed to let it out. Anyways… What was I sayin’? Oh shit, yeah, the grumpy bastard. Listen, sweetheart. I know it’s gonna fuckin’ suck,  but you gotta be the one to bring it up and talk to him about it. If I know anything about that motherfucker, it’s that he will bottle things up for way too fuckin’ long until someone gets it out of him. He’s a good guy. He says he’s not, but he is. Saved my ass more times than I can count. That job made us do some fucked up shit neither of us are fuckin’ proud of. But that doesn’t mean he gets to keep it from you. I swear to God, that asshole is so fuckin’ in love with you, it makes me sick. You make him so happy. He just doesn’t wanna fuck up the best thing that’s ever happened to him.” 

You weren’t sure if it was the right thing to do, but in that moment, all you could manage was to reach over to the swing next to you, pulling Steve in for a hug as you tried to keep your tears from staining his shirt. “Thanks, Steve.” You whispered, leaning back into your seat, using your sleeve to wipe the wetness from your cheeks. 

“I know you love him too. You deserve to know. Don’t let him be a stubborn jackass to you, okay? I’m bein’ serious. I should be the one thankin’ you though, honey. In all the years I’ve known him, I never thought I’d see ‘em this happy. I promise I won’t get this drunk at your wedding.” Steve winked, straining to push himself up out of the swing, somehow managing to catch his balance as he stumbled into the grass. 

“You do make a very inspirational drunk, Steve.” You laughed to yourself, looking up at him with a genuine smile. “Thank you.” 

“You’re welcome. Alright, enough sap, I’m gonna go get another fuckin’ beer, I’ll see ya around okay?” 

“Okay, maybe a water would be good for you, too.” 

“Water’s for pussies.” 

“Water’s good for people who don’t want raging hangovers tomorrow.” 

“Pirates are always drunk, so I’ll be fuckin’ fine.” 

“Whatever you say, Steve.” 

It didn’t take long for Javi to return, easily spotting his tall, broad body making his way through the crowd, beaming at you as he walked over to the swings. You tried your best to smile back at him with the uneasy pounding in your chest quickly building, feeling your heartbeat in your throat. “Hey, Hermosa. Sorry it took so long, I ended up stopping to get another drink on the-“ 

“Do- Javi, do you trust me?” 

Your words were quiet and blunt as they rolled off your tongue, your eyes peeled on your feet kicking through the grass beneath you. 

Javi’s brow immediately scrunched in confusion, completely off put by your question and demeanor. “Do I- Baby, what are you talking about? Of course I trust you? What’s going on?” Setting down his drink, he began making his way next to you in frantic, worried strides. 

“Then why won’t you talk to me about it?” Your eyes darted from the ground up to his, his sweet brown eyes swirling with confusion at the firm tone of your voice and desperation growing across your face. 

“Talk to you about what? Hermosa, what’s going on? Is everything ok-” 

“Why won’t you talk to me about Colombia?” 

 Javi took a step back. He wasn’t sure if it was out of defense, or absolute shock from the words that had just fallen out of your mouth. He stared at you for a moment, his jaw locking as you could see how hard he swallowed, trying to bide his time as he calculated his response. 

“Osita… It’s not that simple.” 

“That’s not an answer.” 

“I don’t understand why we’re talking about this. Baby, if this is because of last night, you don’t need to worry about me, can we please just drop it?” The two of you faced each other in an unspoken standoff, Javi’s hands now resting on his hips as you crossed your arms over your chest. You had tried so hard to be patient, but in the moment, it was like all of your frustration was beginning to boil over. 

“That’s exactly why we’re talking about this, Javi. Because I fucking worry about you. All the time. I’ve tried so hard to be patient. I’ve never, ever tried to get you to talk about it because I know it’s fucking hard. But last night, you’re up at 2 A.M, wandering around the apartment, and I’m begging you to tell me what’s wrong and you won’t fucking do it. I’m not an idiot, Javi. I can’t live in this weird in between space in your life where you pretend your past doesn’t exist when I know it still fucking haunts you. Why won’t you just talk to me about it?” 

Javi could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his palms sweating as they clenched in tight fists at his sides. He tried so desperately to find an answer, something, anything he could tell you to try and justify his choices. The choices he had kept from you. The choices he couldn’t forgive himself for. “Because, I- fuck- because, goddamnit, I just- I was a terrible fucking person, okay? The things I did, they were-” 

“What? Fucked up? Painful? Shitty? Of course they fucking were, Javi. You were literally in Colombia chasing down Pablo Fucking Escobar. What did you think I thought you were doing down there? Filing away paperwork? You don’t think I know that you did things you regret? That you’ve hurt people? Made choices that hurt innocent people who didn’t deserve it? I know Javi, I fucking know. I watched my brothers come back from the same goddamn thing. I tried so hard to give them space, to let them come to terms with the fucked up things they did on their own, and you know what fucking happened? One of them’s fucking dead because of it. I can’t let it happen again. I don’t care about what you did. It doesn’t make you a bad person. But you can’t try and hide it from me and pretend like it doesn’t exist. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. But I can’t if you don’t trust me. Please trust me. Please. I love you so much, Javi. I can’t lose you.” 

Javi stood in silence, as the both of you fought the tears streaming down your cheeks. He wasn’t sure if he had just been hit in the gut with a giant sucker punch, or if the weight of the world had just been lifted off his shoulders. He truly didn’t know how to feel. He wasn’t even sure if he had heard you correctly. Did you really just tell him that you knew about the fucked up, terrible things he had done and that you didn’t care? That you still fucking loved him? All you wanted was for him to trust that you wanted to be there for him? He could feel his hands trembling and lip quivering as he tried to find the words to speak.

 “Osita… I- fuck, baby. Osita, I’m so sorry. I trust you with my fucking life. You- You don’t deserve to have to deal with with all the fucked up things I’ve done. I don’t wanna scare you away, baby. You’re the best thing that’s ever fucking happened to me and I was so terrified if you found out about the terrible person I used to be, you’d leave. It’s not fair to you, I can’t expect you to carry the weight of all the fucking things I’ve done, too. I’m so sorry.” Quietly, Javi sat down next to you on the empty swing, burying his hands in his face. Gently, you reached over, pulling his hands away, forcing him to look at you. 

“Whatever you tell me isn’t gonna scare me away. I promise. The only thing that’s gonna scare me is when you try to pretend you’re okay when you’re not. Javi… Javi, I just- I just wanna be there for you. I don’t want you to have to do it alone. I’d do anything for you. I trust you more than anyone. You’re my best friend. I just- fuck- I just want you to trust that I’ll always be there for you to. I promise.” 

And just like that, the last brick holding up the wall between you and Javier Peña collapsed. There was nothing left to run from. Nothing left to hide. After he returned home, he was a changed man. He had hated the person he had become. Maybe there was a part of him that didn’t want to be loved, because he didn’t believe that he deserved to be. But then, there was you. 

You. 

You had taken everything he had known and changed his life for the better. You had become his better half, the person he loved more than anyone in the world. You had proved he was worthy of more than just existing- you had proved to Javi that he was worth the love and happiness you had promised him from the moment you had come into his life and made it worth living for. 

“You promise?” 

“I promise. Always.” 

The way Javi grabbed you and wrapped you in his arms, grasping at the back of your shirt as he pulled you in tighter, feeling the hot breath of his silent sobs against your shoulder told you everything you needed to know. You didn’t know much, but if there was one thing you did know, it was that you loved Javier Peña more than life itself. As quickly as it had felt like your life had fallen apart, he had come into it and picked up the broken pieces to put it back together. And on an October night in San Antonio, sitting on an old wooden swing set in the Murphy’s backyard, you hoped that Javi knew that you would always be there to pick up the shattered parts of his past, too. 

You weren’t sure how many hours had passed as you sat hand in hand in the swings with Javi as you listened to anything and everything he had to say. Long after the backyard was empty, and the bonfire had faded to embers and ashes, and the only one left awake besides the two of you was Connie, trying to drag Steve back inside from the plastic lawn chair he had passed out on, you finally made your way up to bed for the best sleep the two of you had in a very, very long time. Your goodbyes to the Murphy’s had been short and sweet- Connie exhausted from the late night, and Steve barley coherent from how hungover he was, you were still both so thankful the two of you had made the journey out to see them, and the both of you, just as grateful for the sweet and supportive life long friends you knew the Murphy’s would become. Most of your drive back to Laredo was spent in a comfortable silence, the golden sunrise spilling through the windows of Javi’s truck as you cruised down the highway, Javi’s hand never leaving yours, your fingers intertwined together as his thumb gently rubbed against your soft skin and your head rested against his broad shoulder. 

“How are you feeling about seeing your mom today?” You asked, lightly squeezing his arm as you smiled up at him, now exiting off the freeway quickly approaching the cemetery where you planned to meet Chucho to celebrate Día De Los Muertos, trying your best to comfort Javi as he prepared to see his mom’s gravesite for the first time since her funeral almost a decade ago. Javi let out a quiet sigh, his grip tightening just a little tighter around your hand as he looked over at you, a surprisingly calm look flooding his face. 

“I’m actually doing okay. Better than I would have thought. I think I was always so worried that she wouldn’t be proud of me and the man I’d become after she was gone. I um- I finally think that she’d be proud of me now.” He glanced over at you, his smile soft and tender as he soaked in the reason for his pride sitting right beside him. 

You noticed Chucho’s truck as you pulled up to park along the edge of the small cemetery, Chucho excitedly waving you down as you both hopped out of the car. Walking around to Javi, you were quick to grab his hand, giving him a reassuring grip as the two of you made your way through the gravestones along the thin cobblestone path towards Chucho, already arranging the items he had collected for Lucia’s ofrenda. 

“Hola, niños.” Chucho grinned, wrapping his arms around the both of you. “I’m so glad you’re here.” 

“Thanks for letting me be a part of today, Chucho. I know… Well, I just- I’m really honored to- just, thank you.” Chucho wasted no time pulling you into your own hug, his rough and worn hands holding you by the shoulders as he looked at you with misty eyes. 

“Mija, I should be thanking you. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know if we would all be here today. Lucia’s last wish to me was that I would promise to make sure Javier was happy. Now hija, I think my sweet Lucia can rest a little easier knowing someone else has already fulfilled my promise for me.” As the two of you spoke, you hadn’t noticed as Javi had quietly stepped over to his mother’s gravestone, crouching next to it, his fingers delicately tracing along the engraved letters of her name, his other hand holding one of the marigold flowers Chucho had brought with him. The two of you watched quietly as Javi sat next to his mom, gently placing the flower on the shiny stone as he spoke. 

“Hola, mamá. Te extrañé. Siento haber tarado tanto.” (Hi mom. I missed you. I’m sorry I took so long). Javi’s voice trembled as he took a deep breath in, slowly exhaling as his hand rested on the stone, warm from the sun, shining brightly in the blue November sky. “Que estaba asustada de de verte porque estaba orgullosala de la persona en la que me había convertido. Que no quería decepcionarte. Tenía miedo mucho, mamá. Me sentí como si todo se derrumbase. solo quería olvidar. Pero entonces…” (I was scared to see you because I wasn’t proud of the person I’d become. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I was so scared, mom. I felt like I let everyone down. I just wanted to forget. But then…).  Javi turned his head, seeing you and Chucho, arm in arm, a smile growing across his face as looked back at the two people in life he loved the most. He took an extra moment to stare at you and the soft grin spread between your cheeks, basking in the comfort and warmth of the woman who had forever changed his life for the better. “Pero entonces, mamá, La conocí. Que es perfecta. Nunca supe que podías amar tanto a alguien. Ella es lo mejor que me ha pasado. La habrías amado.ella es una maestra, tambien.  A veces me pregunto qué ve en mí. No sé qué hice para merecerse. voy a pedirle que se case conmigo.Cuidaré bien de ella. Ella se merece todo lo que le pueda dar y más. Espero que estés orgulloso de mí, mamá. te echo mucho, Pero le juro a usted, al fin soy feliz. Te amo, mamá.”  (But then, mom, I met her. She is perfect. I never knew you could love someone so much. She is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You would have loved her. She’s a teacher too. Sometimes, I wonder what she sees in me. I don’t know what I did to deserve her. I’m gonna ask her to marry me. I’m gonna take such good care of her. She deserves everything I can give her and more. I hope you’re proud of me, mamá. I miss you so much, but I promise you, I’m finally happy. I love you, mom.) 

With a gentle nudge from Chucho, you softly stepped behind Javi, gently placing your hands on his shoulders before he rose up and you wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head against his chest as he wiped away the tears welling behind his eyes. Staring down at Lucia’s gravestone, Javi ran his hand through your hair, carefully planting a kiss against your head and burying his nose in the soft waves of your hair. 

“I wish I would have had the chance to have met you, Mrs. Peña. I would have had someone else to commensurate with over all of the crazy teaching stories I’m sure the both of us have. Maria, Estelle and Linda all miss you a lot too, but I’m sure they haven’t changed a bit. Thanks for raising such a good son. I don’t know what I would do without him. I know he says that he doesn’t know what he did to deserve me, but I really think it should be the other way around. I promise I’ll look out for him.” You tried your best to smile through your soft sobs, looking up at Javi, tears streaming down his wet cheeks. It wasn’t long before Chucho had snuck up behind you, patting each of you on the back before smiling down at Lucia, too. 

“Estos dos están tan enamorados, Lucia. Tal vez más que tú y yo. Ella es una buena chica. Estoy muy contenta de que ella sea parte de nuestra familia. Finalmente tendremos a nuestros nietos, también.”  (These two are so in love, Lucia. Maybe even more than you and I. She is a great girl. I am so happy she is a part of our family. We are finally going to get our grandchildren, too). Chucho winked, nudging Javi in the side, forcing him to laugh through his tears, shaking his head at his dad’s comment. “Now, no more tears, you two. This is a happy day. Your mamá is smiling down on you, and I can almost hear here scolding me to keep you from crying anymore. C’mon, let’s decorate and eat, I even brought pozole.” 

The three of you spent the next hour decorating Lucia’s grave with bright orange and gold cempazuchitl (marigold flowers) and little Calaveras (sugar skulls) painted in bold colors and refined details, sharing and laughing about Javi’s favorite memories of his mother while snacking on the Pozole Chucho had brought to share. For the first time in a long time, Javi no longer felt guilt and grief when he thought about his mom- her memory filled him with love and joy. He wasn’t the same bitter, broken man he was when he had said his final goodbyes to his mother all those years ago. While he wished he could change the past, the reality of the present, and his future finally brought him peace, knowing he could be proud of the man he had become, thanks to you. 

As Javi helped Chucho to clean up the extra flowers and decorations he had brought, you couldn’t help yourself from reaching at the wrinkled photo you had shoved in your pocket as you had packed up to leave from the Murphy’s this morning. You carefully took it out, holding it gently in your hands as you tried to uncrinkle the edges. “You ready, Hermosa?” Javi called out, now a few steps ahead of you, making his way back towards the truck. “Hermosa?” He asked again, thinking perhaps you hadn’t heard him the first time. When he was greeted by silence again, he looked back to see you staring at the crumpled photo in your hands. 

“I um- I know that he isn’t buried here, and uh, if you don’t want me to, it’s okay- but um- is it, is it alright if I leave a couple flowers for Patrick?” You sniffed, a tear dropping down on the photo of the two of you, Patrick holding you in a headlock as you laughed with a wide, toothy grin, drowning in one of his old Blackhawks jerseys that you were so excited to wear because it belonged to him. 

“Of course, Osita. Of course it is.” Javi smiled at you softly, turning back around with the tub of leftover decorations, making his way towards you. Quietly, you walked back over to Lucia’s gravestone, carefully setting down the picture of you and Patrick next to it, putting a few marigolds over top of it so it stayed pinned in place from the warm breeze. 

“I miss you, asshole. You deserved so much better. I hope you don’t still think that I hate you. I mean, I do, but you know what I mean. Honestly, you were lucky you didn’t have to live through the Blackhawks losing in the playoffs this year, that fucking sucked. Mom and Dad and Charlie and David all miss you too. I finally went back home to see them. It still wasn’t the same without you there, but I know you don’t hurt anymore. I hope that you don’t hurt anymore. I love you, Patrick. Crack open a cold one up there for me, okay?” Trying your best to not to uncontrollably sob, you sniffled, wiping the tears running down your face as you leaned your head against Javi’s chest. He ran his hand along your back as he held you tighter, letting you take a moment to get everything out before you took a deep breath, nodding your head as if to signify to Javi and yourself that you were okay. 

“You okay, Osita? We can take all the time you need, baby.” Javi whispered, pressing a gentle kiss into your shoulder. 

“No, I’m okay. I just- I wanted to do something for him, too. Thanks, Javi. I love you.” 

“I know.” 

After several more long hugs goodbye with Chucho, you and Javi began your journey back home, marveling at the beautiful sunset, painting the sky with bright pinks and oranges and the warmth and comfort of Lucia and Patrick’s presence. You were so lost in thought staring out at the fading sky, you hadn’t even noticed that Javi had detoured from your usual route home until he had said something to you. “You okay if we make a quick pit stop on the way home, Osita?” You nodded, smiling at the golden glow covering his face. It wasn’t long until you were veering off the main road, Javi turning to make his way down a tree lined gravel pathway with a “For Sale” sign posted in front of it. 

“For sale?” You questioned, looking over at Javi before peering out your window to watch the trees lining the path pass by you as the gravel crunched under the truck’s tires.

“Yeah, uh- I was talking with Steve at the party yesterday and he- uh, one of his buddies said he was looking to get out of the city- wanted a plot of land to build on. Said he had heard good things about Laredo but didn’t have time to go check things out for himself, so I told him I would go take a look around and let Steve know what I thought.” Javi replied, trying his best to sound nonchalant as you shrugged before looking back out the window. As you reached the end of the path, the trees opened to reveal a beautiful, lush green field, the sun setting perfectly along the rolling hills of the horizon in front of you. Turning off the ignition, Javi gestured for the both of you to get out of the truck so you could go take a look around. 

“Jav… This is beautiful.” You marveld, grinning as you took in the beauty of the open space drenched in golden sunset. 

“You like it?” Javi grinned, laughing as you spun around, the gentle breeze blowing your hair in and out of your face. 

“Oh my God, yeah. Tell Steve’s friend to get on this place ASAP before I scrounge up every penny I have and sell one of my kidneys on the black market to buy it from him. There doesn’t even need to be a house, I’ll just lay in the empty field, perfectly content.” You giggled, letting out a happy sigh as you grabbed Javi’s hand, leaning your head against his arm as you admired the sun slipping away below the horizon. 

“I’ll take that as a yes then. He said he’s wanting to build a house here, do you think- do you think that he would think it’s got enough space? It’s not too far from everything? I know it’s a little farther from downtown and a longer drive to work- if uh, if he works by where we do, you don’t think that’d be a problem? For him?” Javi squeezed back, trying his best not to stumble over his words. 

“Are you kidding me? It’s literally perfect out here, Javi. Could you imagine getting to see this every night? He better put some big windows on this house so he can get all of the sunlight, oh my god, it would be so pretty. It’s not even that far from everything, and the view makes the extra drive time worth every minute. I know it’s probably a far way off, and we haven’t really talked about it, but I would love to live at a place like this someday.” 

Javi smiled to himself, looking down at you as you rested against him, soaking in every ounce of you as he shifted his arm to wrap around your waist, gently rubbing his thumb along the soft hem of your shirt before letting out a content sigh. 

“Yeah. Me too.”

Taglist: @cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @blackfemalenerd

[heartsburst]

like do i want to go back to university? no. do i want to do science? yes i miss it so bad i still make up practice questions for myself when i get bored and don't even have anything to practice science for. do i want to go back full time? absolutely not. do i want to go back part-time? idk. maybe? do i think i can balance work and school? ummm not sure. do i really really really miss science and doind chemistry labs? yes so bad it's literally so silly. do i have to redo first year physics if i go back and switch into chem...? yeah..... fuck. do i still need my academic writing requirement class? yeah.... FUCK. do i only have my first year calc and elective credits done if i switch to chemistry? ..... yeah. do i hate academia with a passion? yes 💯. but do i miss science??? do i really miss science? yes. i miss doing science so bad it makes me look stupid. do i do temperature conversions for fun when im bored bc i miss doing science? yes. my coworkers think this is very funny. does being in university shut my brain off? yes. will starting adhd meditation help that? goddamn i sure fucking hope so. does going back mean i get free counselling w/ my favourite counsellor again? yes 🥰. does going back mean i get to continue to be a part of the indigenous community on campus? yes and i need that community so bad honestly. do i want to move back to where i was going to university anyway? ABSOLUTELY I WILL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER TO MOVE BACK ASAP. do i have a plan or know what i want to do with my life anymore tho? no 😭. do i feel silly abt hating university but wanting to go back for science especially when i've been so adamant about not going back? yeahhhhh...

anyway, somebody get me in a science class asap istg. please.

me for basically the last six months like: i will NOT go to university my first year was terrible and i hated it and the thought of staying fills me with dread

me last week: i will do anything to get a better job EXCEPT go back to university

me today: idk guys i miss doing science maybe i should go back to university... for chemistry

[sunraies]

OH I LOVE YOUR WORKS SM I REALLY READ THEM EVERY DAY ITS A ROUTINE TO ME

my request is kook!reader who gets along with Camerons very well. tutores to Wheez, gives her old study notes to Sarah, chit chats with Rose etc. and Rafe is adoring her. but they have some problems lately like Rafe's friends behaviours or Rafe's addiction or something about her idk really. and all these little problems becomes a big one and they finally have a fight. BIG. at Camerons. Wheez worrying, Rose is confused and Sarah is like 'finally, Rafe dont deserve you.' idk end however you want.

actually to me FULL ANGST. but however you want to end it honey. whether fluff or angst i am sure id love it. love you.

Oh my god! You are gotta make me cry 😭😭😭🥰. I love you too x

I hope this does your request justice. I tried to make it angst filled, but I'm such a fluff girl!

Goodbye

Rafe Cameron x Kook!Reader

Warnings - Angst. Some fluff. Drug, alcohol and addict behaviour.

Your lifelong friendship with Rafe started to break slowly, but when he learns that you are leaving, it hits breaking point.

-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-**-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

You spent as much time at the Cameron's as you did your own home, if not more. Your family lived next door, having moved there when you were young. Being neighbours meant growing up closely together and having Rafe Cameron as a best friend was a rollercoaster.

From the moment you first met Rafe, he adored you. The little blue-eyed boy with a wicked smile didn't know what hit him, literally. One minute, he was pulling your hair, and the next, you were punching him in the stomach. When questioned what happened, neither ratted the other out. It was you and Rafe against the world.

As you grew, you were always there for each other. He was there for you when Hank Harrison broke your heart and you were there for him when his mother left, leaving behind a broken Rafe, a small Sarah and baby Wheezie.

Your lives were tangled and waver together so tightly that you never thought it would break.

It started to fray after senior year. With the pressure of the future, you noticed a change in Rafe.

He had always loved partying hard, the girls and the booze, but no matter how far he took it, it never affected his daily life or how he treated you. You were his VIP guest to every party. It wasn't until he met Barry and a friend in the form of white powder that you had your first small fight.

You had been dancing with Sarah most of the night, having a good time until you became tired. You found Rafe surrounded by people, some you knew like Topper and Kelce but others you didn't. He was trying to convince Topper to take his first bump.

"Rafe," you called over the pounding music. He frowned before giving you a lopsided smile and pulling you into his lap, earning a few glares from the girls sitting around him.

"There's my girl." He grinned and wrapped you in his arms. "I missed you,"

With you, he didn't care if people saw him soft. You were his sweet other half. You brought out the softer side in him. He never admitted it to you, but he was sure he had loved you since the age of 5.

"I have been here all night," you said softly, seeing his pupils blown so wide, broke your heart a little. "I was coming to say goodbye,"

"Goodbye?" He frowned as you ran your hand through his hair, making him sigh. "The party's just started,"

"It's 3am."

"Stay, have some of the good stuff." He offered you a sip of his beer before grabbing a rolled up bill for you.

"Rafe, I don't want that,"

He groaned and loosened his grip on you, rolling his eyes and throwing his head back "Don't be so fucking boring"

"Good night, Rafe," you whispered, moving out of his lap and heading for the door. You heard him calling after you, but you didn't go back.

▪︎•▪︎•▪︎

The next slightly bigger argument you had was when you and Wheezie found him, drunk and high in the kitchen. You had been over to help Wheeze with her French homework. Being completely flunt, you were the best person to help.

You had gone to the kitchen for snacks, finding Rafe stumbling, slamming cabinet doors as he muttered away to himself. Something about hidden money, that his dad must have a stash hidden in the kitchen.

Ward had stashes in every room of the house, and you were sure of it but never thought of looking into the theory.

"Rafe?" Wheezie asked softly. He span around to her and sighed.

"Have you seen any of the money, dad hides?" He asked but Wheeze shook her head "Fuck"

"Why do you need it?"

"Cause, I fucked up Wheeze" He groaned "I fucked up big time!" He took a swig of the open whiskey bottle from the counter top before offering her some.

"Did you really just offer me, booze?" Wheezie frowned. "I'm 13"

"Shit, god. I'm sorry, Wheeze." He covered his eyes with his hands and groaned again. "I'm so fucked, but I'm gonna fix it"

"Go upstairs, Wheeze. I'll be up in a minute. " You fixed one of her braids, and you watched as she hurried up the stairs before turning back to Rafe.

"What you do this time?" You asked, arms folded as he looked over at you. It was like he had just noticed you were there.

"Why does it have to be something I did?" He asked, frowning as he took a drink again

"Is it Barry again?"

He laughed "No it's not fucking Barry. Just get off my case"

"Rafe, you just told your 13 year old sister, that you need money and offered her whiskey" You pointed out "Now tell me what the fuck the problem is"

He looked you up and down. "My sister. Exactly. It's a family problem. Don't worry yourself over something that isn't your business"

You tried not to take it to heart. He was hiding the fact that he was in trouble by cutting you out. It wasn't the first time he'd been in debt to Barry, but it was the first time he didn't admit it to you.

"Rafe" Wheezie whispered from the door way. She had a small bundle of dollar bills in her hand "Will this help? It's all I've got for now"

She received a small allowance from Ward, something all the Cameron kids had. Being the youngest, she didn't get as much, but she saved it all, claiming she wanted to buy her own first car.

"Shit," Rafe muttered as he suddenly broke down in front of you both.

You hurried over to him and cradled his head to your chest as he sobbed. Poor Wheezie stood helpless as she watched her big brother crumble in your arms.

Later, you found out that all the money Rafe paid Barry back had been stolen by Sarah. You hoped that day would be a wake-up call to make him stop, but it only got worse.

▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎

You hadn't seen Rafe for a few weeks when you sat in the Cameron's kitchen, munching grapes as you sat on the kitchen island, speaking to Rose as she made a pot of coffee.

"I'm so proud of you." She smiled. "I can't believe our girl is going to Paris!"

You smiled back. You had come round to pick up Sarah for a shopping spree and told Rose the news that you had been accepted to a collage in Paris.

"I can't believe it either." You popped a grape in your mouth. "I honestly didn't think I would get in."

"Of course you would. I mean, look at you. They would have been stupid, not too. "

"Not to, what?" Rafe stumbled into the kitchen, his hair messy from sleep as he wore only sweatpants, he smelt strongly of the night before and had a light sweat on his brow, clearing in the middle of a come down.

"Not accept her to their collage." Rose smiled as the kettle boiled.

Rafe nodded and grunted as he grabbed a cup before he paused. "Collage? What fucking collage?"

You had told him a million times that your dream was to go to Paris. Collage was the perfect way to have the chance to live there.

"Paris," Rose answered, slightly oblivious to the tension building in the room. You flinched as Rafe dropped his cup down, harder than needed on the side.

"Paris?"

"Yes, Rafe. Paris, " You muttered. It was meant to be the most exciting news to share with him, but with the way things had been, you hadn't got the chance.

He stared at you as you stared back. He was waiting for the punch line. It had to be a joke. You were leaving him.

"Rose? Have you seen my white Converse?" Wheezie asked as she entered the kitchen before looking between you and Rafe.

"No, honey. Maybe in the sunroom?" Rose suggested before going to look with her.

"Fucking Paris?" Rafe frowned

"Yes, Rafe fucking Paris" You said back, in a even tone.

"So you were just going to up and leave me?"

"No, I told you about this before. Not that I'd been accepted, but I've been wanting to go all year"

Soon, you were yelling at each other so loudly everyone in the house could hear.

"Just fuck off to Paris, then!" He yelled "I don't fucking need you anymore! Always dragging me down!"

"Oh, I'm planning too!" You snapped back. "Sorry to have been such a downer. I'll be gone in no time!"

"Good! I'll be fucking free!"

"So free! Have fun fucking the girl you have up stairs!"

"Wow. Jealous?!"

"Nothing to be jealous of," you said calmly. You never insulted him back before. Normally ending the arguments quickly but this time you were done "Just a drunk, drugged up dickhead"

He stared at you, "Fuck off" He muttered

"That's the plan." You didn't want to leave him behind, but you needed to go after your own future.

"Ready to go?" Sarah asked, looking between you. The looks you were throwing it each were deadly.

"Yeah. I'm done here." You pushed yourself off the island and left Rafe to watch you go, smashing the cup against the countertop after you left.

▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎

You checked your passport, ticket, and flight number three times as you stood with your family and the Camerons, minus Rafe. Everyone hugged you goodbye. You subconsciously glanced around as you had the heavy feeling of something missing.

"You don't need him here," Sarah said softly as she pulled back from a long hug. "I'm sorry, I know you want him here. But you don't need him."

You nodded, knowing she was right. You didn't need the Rafe you'd seen recently, but part of you wished you had your Rafe there.

The one who gave your first kiss when you were worried you would never get one. The one who snuck into your room with your favourite ice cream after punching Hank Harrison and spent hours holding you. The one who checked in on you at parties. The one who took you to prom, claiming he was the only date worthy of you. You knew he'd threatened anyone who tried asking you, but at the time, you didn't care. You had your Rafe.

After a long goodbye and a final call for your flight, you made your way to the gate when you heard him calling your name over the sound of the music in your earphones.

You frowned, turning around slowly as Rafe Cameron ran towards you. He was completely out of breath when he made it to you, but he looked different.

His eyes were clearer, those gorgeous ocean blue again. He smelt of his cologne and not of the night before.

"Don't you dare tell me not to go." As a part of you was happy to see him, another was worried.

He shook his head and gently grabbed your arms. "No, no. I would never"

You raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm going to miss my flight."

"I'll make it quick. I promise." He moved his hands to your cheeks when you didn't move away from his touch.

"What is it?"

"I couldn't let you go without saying goodbye," He whispered before slowly moving closer to you. "I'm so sorry, baby."

You sighed softly and nodded. Your heart rapidly beating in your chest.

"I have to go," you whispered, but you made no move to leave as they announced your flight again.

"I know, I know." He breathed as his lips made contact with yours.

You whimpered against him, unable to control it before deepening the kiss. The airline announcing they were on last check-in broke you apart.

"I love you," He whispered against your lips

"I know, I know." You breathed, pulled back. "I love you too."

"Go on, baby." He smiled, nodding towards your gate as the last few people walked through the doors.

You gave him a quick kiss again before hurrying away. Leaving him to watch you go with a smile on his face.

Just as you were setting your phone to airplane mode, you received a message:

'I'm getting clean. I mean it this time. I love you, I'm sorry I didn't say it before. I promise you, baby. I'll see you in week' Rafe sent a picture of a plane ticket he just purchased.

[ruins-of-tragedy]

Thoughts on season one's episode four to seven of RWBY coming right up... Or down I guess.

Season 01 Episode 04: The First Step - Pt I

- I am so happy that I can sing along to some of the song now. One of them monsters has a yellow coloured tip on it's tail. Didn't notice that before.

- So, Ruby's symbol is a rose. Weiss has the snowflake in her corner. Both Blake and Yang have something akin to flames, but of different colours and shapes. Blake's thing looks more like a flame to be honest. Yang's is almost a heart Hmmm.

- The girl is a morning person. The guy isn't. Both of them are me somehow. These two also show up in the opening and ending together with Jaune and the red-kinda-like-fire-dressed lady.

- Also, the boy here has magenta eyes. And a hair stripe of the same colour. Nice.

- Nora and Ren. The former is crushing, ain't she? And do they have a major height difference? Maybe it was the angle of the shot.

- No social interactions anymore. Ruby just wants to ride into the sunset with her weapon. Mood... Is this the arc where we learn about the importance of teamwork and people alongside her?

- "I don't need people to help me grow up. I drink milk!" Yes. You tell them kid.

- Yang doesn't want to be on Ruby's team. Typical big sister energy. I have that urge too sometimes.

- Jaune finishing a "nice and quirky" girl's sentence? More likely than you think.

- So red-kinda-like-fire-dressed lady is Pyrrha. Strong and well-known. Can't decipher her origins yet. Seems Greek to me, for whatever reason... Is she supposed to be Hestia?! Moi's favourite goddess from the Greek pantheon.

- Weiss wants her in her own corner. And she is scheming already about a good life alongside her. LoLLL!

- Okay, why is this soliloquy from Weiss me as a kid thinking about getting a best friend for life? Nothing gay going on at all... Oh my Gods. She literally says, "Nothing could come between us now!" 😂👏🏻

- Jaune is jinx for Weiss it seems. Am pretty sure Pyrrha is actually fond of him. She is the only one so far who waved at him willingly. Or maybe she was just being polite.

- "Hot stuff." "Snow angel." WoW.

- Weiss really is smart. She realised what would get Jaune to recognise Pyrrha after only two attempts. Kudos!

- I liked the cereal box animation bit. Gave me a good giggle.

- Pyrrha is so nice. Jaune thinks he has more game than he actually does. Should read up on personal space though. Ooooooh! That spear throw from Pyrrha was badass!

- "Ladykiller." Yeah, the ladies want to kill themselves often when he comes around. Jokes! 😂

- Is Ozpin sick or something? Every time I see him well enough, he has a cup in his hand. Granted I have only seen him thrice, but during two of those times he was drinking from a cup and walking around merrily. The initiation speech was the only time I saw him actively using what looks to be a cane. He didn't seem very energetic then, as noted by Yang and Ruby. Too early to actually lock in on this though.

- Emerald forest. Cute.

- Ruby's worst nightmare is coming true. Jaune's attempt at a question was the tree in the jungle no one saw fall. And they will be graded on their journey through the woods and could die in the process... I want to be in this world.

- Jaune. My friend. It's kind-of a drop off. Look around. You missed Yang putting on her aviators moments before being catapulted. So cool.

- The Blake ending. Tune was nice. Very, expect something to come soon.

Season 01 Episode 05: The First Step - Pt II

- Rocking along to the opening song.

- Ruby smashed across a winged creature on her way down. Hope that birdie wasn't uncle Qrow. 😆

- The scythe landing technique was nice. Weiss has snowflake steps. Ren uses his gun very well. Yang is handblasting her gauntlets to fly through the sky. Pyrrha warrior princess-ed a path in. AND assisted Jaune. Gods, she is good... Yang seemed to be the only one having fun though. The aviators make a lot more sense now.

- How did Blake and Nora get in? Me wants to know!

- The mental juggling Ruby is doing as she runs... Funny and many people's everyday reality. Probably different circumstances though. I hope.

- The figures in her head are so unserious. Great for comedic value at least! Blake's "so mysterious, so calm" face is giving major 'Hey mamas' vibes.

- So Ruby's choices so far are her own sister. The incompetent nice guy. The anti-social bibliophile. And...

- Of course it's the mean girl Ruby ends up paired with... "The world needs the selfless and the selfish to keep spinning." 😭

- Oh my Gods. Is this Weiss' version of 'stuck between a rock and a hard place?'

- Ruby's celebratory hurrah on getting Weiss as a partner might not last long, but mine probably will. 😁

- Jaune should be asking for team spots on Pyrrha's side. But still, cute!

- When did Ruby become the roadrunner, Weiss would like to know.

- Grimm monster's here. Weiss is alone. Ooooooh. Things mayhaps be getting interesting.

- Yang's ending. Exciting music. Makes me want to do a montage planning a revolution.

Season 01 Episode 06: The Emerald Forest - Pt I

- RWBY opening. My beloved.

- The monster is not Yang's sister. The other monster is also not Ruby. And they both get hit by Yang.

- Complained so bad Yang is teasing them now.

- Ahhhh. Her hair is precious. One strand out, and not only does the perpetrator go down but some trees around them as well. Junior's fate is shrouded in more darkness now.

- Blake did the other monster a favour by saving it from Yang's wrath.

- Her ensuing smirk and Yang's answer... New partner alert! AGHHHHHHHHH! It's happening!!!!

- Weiss being so technical about her stance and stuff could mean she hasn't had much time training with actual monsters.

- Ruby and Weiss' teamwork so good, they only needed one hit to bring down an entire group of monsters AND some chunk of the jungle... without even meaning to do that. 😂

- Sending my prayers to the collateral damage the forest is withstanding. And the noise pollution it needs to tolerate, courtesy of Ruby and Weiss.

- Slicing down the tree in anger was such an alpha male move. I support a woman in male dominated fields. Go Ruby!

- That feather is huge. Is that from a monster?

- I am loving the reversal of gender roles between Jaune and Pyrrha. The damsel in distress man and the competent protector lady. Considering this came out in 2013, good on the folks behind the show for making this a thing. Chef's kiss!

- Ooooooh! Exposition... "It bears our burdens and shields our hearts." I guess I don't have no soul. My aura would be working overtime otherwise.

- Ren vs a big snek. Aura Person vs Creature of Grimm. Manifestation of soul vs Manifestation of anonymity. Light vs Darkness.

- It's interesting how just as Pyrrha talks about understanding light and darkness, 'cause everyone has some of both, a white snek comes along. Also a Grimm creature, from the looks of it. Hmmm.

- Essentially, bare your soul. Project yourself. Turn your aura into a forcefield... Man, they really are coming for the arses of emotionally unavailable people.

- Hope Ren's okie... WHOA. This guy pulled out some serious ancient art moves with his magenta-pink(?) aura. Blasted a snek's head off. NOICE!!!

- The fact that Jaune didn't immediately assume Pyrrha was going to kiss him is good character development! 😂 Jokes aside though, Pyrrha used her own aura to unlock Jaune's? She is such a good person...

- White aura Jaune. Red aura Pyrrha.

- "You have a lot of it." Am sure Jaune's mum probably wondered why he had so much energy at least a few times. 😆

- A wild sloth appears. Ren doubts her choice of animal noise. The sloth uses the 'boop' maneuver to counteract this claim.

- The Jaune and Pyrrha ending. The music is almost EDM like here.

Season 01 Episode 07: The Emerald Forest - Pt II

- Yes, am ready for a revolution!

- Pairs have been formed and Madam Glynda has thoughts... I have none 'cause she so pretty.

- Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren. Norse myths and I think Chinese background... Nora's inspiration is apparent. Can't figure out Ren's... They do have such cool names though. NOICE!

- Of course Jaune is a good student. And Ozpin is really invested in Ruby. Hmmm.

- Weiss' sky high pride meet Ruby's rising irritation... Ooooof. That spat was unnecessary. Don't be so rude Weiss. You really don't know Ruby.

- Blake and Yang are the first ones to make it?! Dream team!!! Go sapphics, go!!!

- The temple's a chessboard. Huh.

- Jaune and Pyrrha enter a cave (Why does this sound like an opening for a joke?)... Jaune's only contribution has been extinguished 'cause he clumsy. Warmth in places dark... Good sign?

- Yang and Blake decide on taking a pony. Equestrian folks would appreciate it.

- The chesspieces have yellow and black toppers. Huh.

- Jaune confused the yellow-tip of a monster for the relic. Classic. His girlish screams are doing something to Blake. Is this PTSD?

- The cave has a drawing of a scorpion being forced in. Oh Gods. I think there was similar art when Pyrrha and Jaune were entering initially. Either this is actually funny or I am too tired.

- Jaune goes flying out, Ruby comes flying in. Wonder what happened there.

- The Ren and Nora ending. Sounds a little like a spy theme. Huh. I didn't realise they showed symbols in the end credits as well. Ren's is like a leaf. Or is it a flower. And Nora's reminds me of a hammer. But with a needle on both ends of the part with which you hit. Hmmm.

(You spoil me, I spoil your life.

Them's the rules. So don't do it. Farewell!)

[modkatisbacc]

Saw some folks point out that Lilly was most likely like the youngest in the Alliance, since her dad fought alongside Libby, Ray, and Maya in the War.

Consider, Even if this is more of me throwing a little bit of AU out there: Her father dies when she's twelve, and wanting to keep all the elemental masters together, Wu and Garmadon bring her into the Elemental Alliance, knowing that she already had the powers of Earth.

The other elemental masters freak out because,,, *points* that is a CHILD.

But they also understand that if she was left to her own devices (her mother passed when she was really little) then she could put herself or others in grave danger with her powers.

They absolutely deck little Lilly out in impressive weapons and battle armor.

Now here we go into heavy headcanons/au territory.

With Libby being the second youngest EM in the group, her and Lilly form a close bond.

Like her parents, Ed and Edna, Libby is great at creating things. She LOVES building- mechs, especially. With Libbys help, Lilly's first mech (the one donated to TOS I've decided) was created.

Yes they may have gone all out on safety features on the mech, but would you completely trust a twelve year old with a very large elemental mech?

One day she brings over a boy. Wu and Garmadon are WORRIED because the boy is NOT an elemental master, he doesn't even know anything about fighting. She is sixteen and could punch the head clean off someone's shoulders with her powers...

These two are worried the most because they personally made it their mission to make sure the EMs were ot being hunted or used for their powers. So, bringing in a non EM into the fold was deemed risky.

They of course warm up to Lou, who thinks Lilly is the coolest person in the world and he learns basic self defense from her.

The EM Alliance falls apart when she is only 20 . *I say that bc everyone looks like they may be in their 50's, mid-late 50's after the Merge With Lilly being a decade younger well .. she would've been a decade younger at least :/*

She gets sick after she defeats Grief-Bringer. It wasn't bad at first, she honestly just thought she may have caught a cold. Also yes, in my headcanons and AUs Cole has been born when she goes to Shintaro. I have another post going into an au-headcanon mashup (I say headcanons because it isn't necessarily disproved by canon) that I kinda want to write about some day.

Knowing she was going to get worse, she started working on making sure Cole was prepared to become the next Master of Earth. When she was feeling well enough she would leave the house (unfortunately she also didn't tell Lou where she was going most of the time fidjxjsjshd)

Refused to pass on afterwards and instead keeps an eye on her family. Is the reason SOMEONE survives stuff that he shouldn't have.

Fun Facts about Lilly!!! That are canon in my stories!!!

- She is a realm hopper. Yes this is based on the fact that she apparently spied on Garmadon while he was in the Underworld in that one comic. I haven't read it but you know. I want to do something with that knowledge.

- she isn't in the Departed Realm especially after the Merge. She's trying to keep an eye on Cole while trying to find her husband and her friends. She found Wu first, of course. And with Wu, she found Garmadon. Before the Merge she would switch between watching over Lou and Cole.

- She is the only Previous EM of Ninjago to participate in the TOS, which may or may not be canon. I say this bc of that outfit and you know... The mech....

-Cole is 9, she is 29 when she dies. Also it's freaking sad because ain't no way Ray and Maya knew this until almost a decade later. Wu keeps a close eye on him and Lou afterwards. You know since he was canonically there for his birth hello??? *According to the comic*

- fun fact about me it literally took me 6 hours to write all this in one setting bc I was at work. Lilly did this to me.

Also, if there are any timeline problems that aren't just me pushing it for the AU tell me about it so I can fix it please I don't want it to be too off the course!!!

I think that's it for now,,,

[secondratefiction]

Hi there! Hope you’re doing well! Kicking that funeral services degree’s ass with any luck!! I was wondering if you would be up to writing a drabble for Jason or Tim (whoever you think fits the scenario best) as the boyfriend of a law student. Maybe where they’re living together and she’s just barely getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night while trying to study for finals, writing a full legal brief, practicing for oral arguments, getting ready for her summer associateship, and applying for moot court and law review. (Is this based on some poor law student’s real life? We may never know!) And just like her needing someone to be there and take care of her, but also her wanting to take care of him too even though she is very much Trying Her Best to Survive™? (Btw thank you so much for blessing us with batfam content galore, absolute ICON <3 )

Oh good lord… bless you and this ‘hypothetical’ poor law student. I know my degree is kicking my ass all across the state and back, so I can only imagine… They keep telling me the degrees are worth it… we’ll ride it out and see. Good vides, and better times love 💜

—

Now I fully believe that Timmy would be wonderful at this in his own right… but every single thing about this request violently screams Jason Todd to me…

There are only so many hours and so many spoons in a day, and unfortunately a law degree takes up almost every single ounce of both of them

However, Jason has this innately ingrained need to take care of the people that matter to him, so this is exactly where he shines

He was always Alfred’s best protege, so the man cooks and cleans house like a pro. Not only that, but it’s something that he genuinely enjoys because they are simple and repetitive tasks that let zone out and go through the motions to decompress from his ‘other job’.

While he’s happy to take care of all of that and leave you to focus on the proverbial, ever-growing mountain of work you have - He’s not above making you stop to take a break.

It is not an uncommon occurrence for this man to literally close your laptop, throw you over his shoulder*, and haul you out to the kitchen table to sit down and have a meal with him.

((*I do not care what size you are, or what hang ups you might have about your weight, if this man can hold up a collapsing ceiling, he can carry you across y’alls apartment))

“Ok, I have physically seen you putting food and water into your body, you can go back to your cave now.”

This happens at least 2-3 times a week

He is concerned. Just humor him and let him love you.

Jason is 100% the type to be actively learning from anything you tell him

Some nights, when the insomnia and the nightmares decide to double team him, he’ll even sit up browsing through your textbooks just to try and understand everything you're doing more.

Tim get’s labeled the nerd of the family a lot, but really Jason would have been the family scholar if he’d had the chance

The second bedroom in your apartment is both your office and his library. That shit is floor to ceiling.

With that in mind he is always more than happy to be a sounding board when you need him to. Listen to what you’ve got, argue the other side if necessary

Dear god, just know what you’re getting into there… he lives for that kind of stuff, and he will come prepared. This is one of his all time favorite games, that comes second only to aggravating the living shit out of you (which, if he’s lucky, will be a bonus here)

95% of the time, Jason has got this, got you - focus on your school babe, I’ll take care of it… but that 5%? That bit where he’s not actually infallible? He so very desperately doesn’t want you to see that.

What you’re doing is important, and he doesn’t want the fact he had a rough night to be a distraction for you. This is where you enter a bit of a balancing act…

As much as you may want to put everything aside and take care of him, that is the fastest way to make him shut down.

Instead, grab a textbook and a highlighter. Go ‘make yourself some tea’ and pour him a mug too. Set everything up in the living room and drag him onto the couch with you.

Put his head in your lap, and just run your fingers through his hair while you do some reading.

Bonus points if you put a blanket over him

Poor baby is gonna melt in an instant and be out cold before you know it. Just keep playing with his hair and let him sleep.

And do not mention it if he is emotional when he wakes up… he’s never going to be good/get used to receiving love and affection. Do it anyway, and don’t make a big deal about it.

[itsnothingofinterest]

Hey 👋 been a while, hope you're doing well?

Regarding the recent bnha chapter, and the ones before it, does it feel like the way things are going that everyone is kind of missing the "point"?

Because yeah, it's great for Deku to finally be seen as a "rising" hero that also inspires everyone, with them all fighting together and the civilians cheering them on.

But is all of that really so different from when All-might fought AFO at kamino? With the heroes helping All-might win and everyone else cheering him on?

It feels like everything has gone in one giant circle up to this point...

It doesn't seem like anyone (except for ochako, shoto and maybe Deku depending on what he does with shigaraki now) has really changed or learned anything.

(Aizawa is in a weird place because kurogiri is doing all work for him by glitching out and helping the heroes now, so aizawa can see that shirakumo is still in there, so he just acknowledges that.)

Because It's true that the civilians did try to "help" the heroes in a recent chapter but looking past the symbolism, all they actually did was give Deku a shirt and the other heroes some bandages or something, it wasn't very moving in my opinion.

And the hero side may take a more nuanced kind of view, with how they deal with aoyama and lesser villains like gentle and la brava, but that doesn't really help anything either.

Because aoyama was practically a hostage and gentle/la brava were the least "villainous" villains ever.

Can I ask what you think about all this?

Hey good to see you too, and yeah I 100% get what you mean. I don't want to act like I didn't like the chapter for the spectacle, but it is lacking something; and I think it's the sense of progress and improvement you're talking about. Because the chapter feels like it wants to have that, but i just don't feel it does.

And so, though I find the chapter rather fun & inoffensive on the whole, I'm still gonna throw some of what I will politely call constructive criticism at it and the last few before it for a bit if you're giving me the chance to.

These past few chapters have just been tossing all else to the side to get all gung ho about Deku and his hero allies becoming the greatest heroes, the heroes they were always meant to be (the kind of black & white story you'd expect AFO to usher in)...and I'm just not feeling it. I mean the team-up montage trivializing all of AFO's moves was cool but I got all style, no substance from it. Just typical hero stuff, comparable as you said to All Might with the other pros at Kamino.

It's like, I've been feeling this real want from both the readers and these latest chapters to say that Deku is surpassing All Might, and this is the moment where it's happening. 422 even talks about Deku's having a 'weakness' All Might lacked let him get up again and inspire others to get up again. But I've said before; Deku hasn't done anything All Might wouldn't in the same circumstance, and I think people who believe otherwise tend to assume AM was a lot less kind & a lot more independent, and Deku a lot less independent, than they are. Plus, All Might was the king of inspiring other heroes and he had to be literally paralyzed to stop fighting so what's that even about?

(Thinking about it; the problem might be that the manga wants to say Deku is more inspiring than AM; but the group we see him inspire to action most by far is fellow heroes, the same group All Might too most inspired to action.)

So yeah, it feels on the whole like we've just come full circle with our wheels spinning where I was hoping we'd move forward by now. And maybe there are a few exceptions where you could see some change, but even for them I question how much.

For one thing: I’m honestly not sure how much of Deku and Shoto’s more nuanced behaviour to their villain foils is from them being better heroes and what’s from Touya and Tenko being exceptions to them. Like, how will Shoto treat the next Dabi he meets if they aren’t his sibling? How will Deku treat a Tomura Shigaraki type that he can’t psychically see the inner child of? Ochako's the only one going against the grain just for the sake of a villain, and even then, it's not like we can expect repeat results. Fun as it sounds, she probably can't date every abused girl she meets and send off to jail.

Not to mention these past few chapters haven't even had any talk of villain saving anyway; no one has come here to save Tomura. I mean, Deku might (though sadly even his intentions must now be qualified with a 'might') but everyone else is here to save their fellow hero and beat the big bad; same as ever.

The civs haven't done anything too noteworthy or out of expectations we would've had for them in the early arcs either: just provide small help ranging from medical aid to one guy's shirt, and then sit back like a cheer squad for the next symbol/pillar while the heroes rush forward to do all the work, inspired by that same symbol/pillar. Maybe that's more than they would've done without the events of ch. 323~325...but that thought is mostly just depressing.

Even the cases of Gentle, La Brava, and Nagant don’t seem like these signs of progress to me; because I’ve said it before, but police asking criminals to catch worse criminals is normal. This has been standard procedure throughout. And Aoyama shouldn't even count and I'm almost angry that the story thinks he does.

Something that kind of caps off all this is how All Might talks about how Deku is his greatest hero; that line Deku was always eventually meant to embody (and apparently always did to AM). And cool as that is to confirm he's met all of All Might's expectations, it also feels like it's saying he's ended his arc; at this point where, if you ask me, he's only gone so far as to match All Might at best in every department besides raw power. Which is fantastic as far as Deku's personal goals go, that's all he's ever wanted; but when it feels like the world of HeroAca needed a guy who could exceed All Might, would could lead the charge for a generation of heroes to exceed their predecessors, it’s a shame that’s a level they’re all content just to meet. And that small shame sours something that should be really cool.