#it's just end of the year depression hour

[midnite-c6]

After reading ur patient!namgyu fanfic I was just wondering if you could pretty please w a cherry on top write a fic about Seowan !! Doesnt have to be doctor x patient, I just need more fics w my beloved Seowan 🔥🔥 have a great day/noon/night!

i haven't seen any fics about seo-wan, it makes me so sad, but here's oneDJFH also, i added squid game tags because i want more nam-gyu lovers to see roh jaewon's character in daily dose of sunshine!! FIRST NON SQUIDGAME FIC .. my fav schizo TT.

kim seo-wan x reader !! <3 warnings: fluff , angst ?! , mentions of mental illness </3

つ⁠｡⁠☆ he's your study buddy!! both of you couldn't pass the exams the first time and you guys bonded over that. the two of you would sit next to each other when the professors lecturing about a lesson, since you both share the interest of being determined in passing the exams this year, there wouldn't be alot of talking during a lecture, but afterwards he's actually quite talkative!

he would also share his notes, giving you a bunch of sticky notes, all of them would have silly random doodles and small comments about how "you can do it!"

you manage to even hang out with him after classes ..which still includes studying, but you told him he needs to let lose, even for a little while. eating noodles in those small shops on the sidewalk, visiting libraries, and if you feel like your falling behind in studies, he would share the other side of his headset, making you listen to the lecture he found on youtube.

a new store would open up right next to the university, because the lessons were tiring and obsessing over the tests is unhealthy, the two of you decide to explore. it was actually a computer-shop.

since then, it's been you and seo-wan's new hobby, to play videogames for hours after lectures, how you were practically his pocket healer, how you two can't play alone without the other right by their side.

this newly-shared interest has gotten you two alot closer, you'd even ask him out, gratefully, the feelings are mutual, kim seo-wan is a simple man. now there'd be long sessions of kissing inside his small apartment, cosplaying, the two of you didn't have alot of money, but this was enough.

video games became a part of your life, one to escape reality. but unfortunately, this hit a little bit harder for kim seo-wan. you'd notice how he wouldn't take the time to study anymore. of course, as the concerned lover you are, you would remind him all the time, but he just wouldn't budge.

his parents were nice, they'd always treat you like you were family, even cooking dinner or lunch for you whenever you come over. since you haven't seen seo-wan in awhile, you'd ask them, only to find out your boyfriend has been sent to a psychiatric unit.

you would visit him everyday, telling him about your day, and asking about his. his day was filled with thinking of you, playing ping-pong with the other patients, and this fantasy world he lives in. but whenever you were too busy to visit, he'd be extra depressed inside the hospital and says he has ran out of mana. </3

you were always intrigued whenever he would tell you about his visions. his stories contain that you were truly his 'mediator', and that you're there in his life to save him. "this is very unprofessional, oh my dear.. mediator, but i'm inlove with you, for you make me look forward to explore even the darkest caves or the highest mountains." he'd take your hand to place a soft kiss on-top. he had forgotten your previous relationship before, atleast he still loves you in the new world he's living in.

you'd end up taking the test without him, but you'd never talk about it in the hospital, you know he needs more time.

in the end, you two agree upon each other to fight the fire dragon together, whatever the future may hold. because, as he confidentally says: "once i've saved up enough mana and leveled up all my armor, i choose you to come with me. you're the only one i can trust in defeating the fire dragon. i will protect you with all my life, my dear mediator!"

i'm sobbing just thinking about this bye ☹️☹️☹️ was gonna do nsfw parts too as i usually do but like i was too up in my feelings LMAOFHBRK trust im gonna post sum nsfw story next 🤞🏻

[velvetvexations]

It's amazing how quickly I've started seeing triggering shit. I thought it would take a little while for things to really start moving, like, that it'd take a bit of time for them to cut the ribbon on the first death camp, but no immediately it's this and this and this. Truly inescapable now.

If you ever said the words "99% Hitler" unironically I hate you worse than the fascists themselves, honestly. Fucking rich idiots living in your safe blue states. Virtue signaling clout-obsessed motherfuckers. Vapid superficial morons who couldn't care about a single other person in their life depended on it. You will always be more personally offensive to me than than any MAGA guy because they're the way they are and there's very little we can do about that, but when did you become this miserable, disgusting thing you are? Were you always just wearing the skin of progressive values or did the light in your eyes go out when you realized how popular contrarian politics are? Tankie motherfuckers want so badly to be the ones cannibalizing their neighbors like in the Cultural Revolution but they know that's never happening and are just grifting to fuel their endless egos.

I'm sorry, this is just going to make my life like, a regular hell, and I already struggled so badly with depression and a million other things, it was so hard just dealing with things on the state level. I saw something about Meta's new hateful content policy* and I'm kinna going insane at the level of dystopia we're entering when things looked so bright and hopeful just ten years ago. I want to compare this to the past and how we lived through that, but even back when I was a kid and queers were outsiders we weren't being targeted this extensively. Being on the margins was better than being dragged out into the town square and publicly executed.

And already people are like..."well Trump only mentioned trans women" like hey does it...does it feel good to see something like that and then immediately run to your favorite dying social media website to weaponize it against other queers? Do you realize that's what you're doing? You're using the brutalization of your "sisters" as a cudgel because you've decided other trans people are a good target to soothe your insecurity and puff yourself up, and when you do talk about stuff that actually harms us it's purely to use as a sword in that bullshit crusade.

I don't know how to end this post. I'm scared and exhausted. I want to die but I'm just going to go back to bed instead and listen to this six hour Signalis video and pretend that nothing else exists.

*don't talk to me about it

[lazzerot]

I finally opened the letter from the health insurance and now it's serious, fuck me. Entering the second half of my twenties isn't the fact that's scary to me, I've got friends and acquaintances who turn 30, 31 and 38 next year. It's the fact that I live in Germany and if I were to celebrate my birthday at all it's gonna fall around the time of the early elections which is gonna add like at least +100 pts of politics anxiety and +50 pts of politics depression to my usual "oh god I'm a year older and I've accomplished nothing" depression. There's nothing to celebrate really...

I could turn this into a rant about how undemocratic the early elections are but there's no energy left, just depression and anxiety. I should get my ass up and join the party I wanted to join for the European elections. My beloved controversial DiEM25 please wait for me. Something something revolution send tweet.

[fusionsprunt]

Hunter, Year 4036

[made-my-peace-with-all-the-bad]

No one and I mean NO ONE understands how much I think about this photo

[lunarharp]

played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles

[maretriarch]

turns out how not to be deficient in fat in your diet is to stop eating only low fat versions of foods

[vulpinesaint]

it's me and all the women in literature described in despondent unhappiness in a marriage that they don't hate but don't enjoy as they should and who feel as if they're not the way a woman should be and who yearn to be free of their husband and children not because they despise them but because they're not for a husband and children and who can't say that they're miserable but who feel a numb kind of despair in all that disconnectedness and disconnectedness and disconnectedness. they are just like me for real

[seaofreverie]

Anyway how is everyone doing

[visualskirt]

me: *God I feel like such shit today and I don't know why.*

me literally seven seconds later: I FORGOT TO TAKE MY ESTROGEN THIS MORNING

[withleeknow]

just a heads up it’s probably gonna be a minute before wt8 is out

[asinglesock]

just realized my fatal flaw and the great struggle of possibly the rest of my life. while watching a cdrama.

[seilon]

shouldn’t have checked my bank account as expected my mother has taken thousands more dollars from my savings and has almost run me dry more or less. Cool!

[thethingything]

"why do I feel so weird and awful" says man who already made a post half an hour ago that included the reasons he feels weird and awful

[sunnibits]

somehow it’s already a bad chronic fatigue day today. fucking hell.

[eldritch-crabbo]

Dad: “You’ve never consistently walked every day how do you know it wouldn’t help?” (my chronic fatigue and perceived laziness for only doing as much as I need to and no more)

Me: “I literally walked (up the steep ass hill leading to our neighborhood) every day with 30 lbs of textbooks on my back for 7 years.”

Dad: “And you had more energy and were 100lbs lighter back then! See it works!”

like literally 1. no, I definitely did not. there’s (many) reasons I didn’t do homework and was failing every class bc of it, and a lack of energy was a big one. 2. lmao I gained like 30 lbs since I got out of high school if he really thinks it was 100 he’s deluding himself. 3. i only did all of that because i literally had no other choice. what was I going to do as someone who has a massive fear of punishment (in large part because of him), not go to school? skip class and get treated even worse? this is the man that cut off my access to running water for like 12 hours as punishment once. i can’t believe i ever thought that shit was normal