#it's hard to battle a thing that speaks literally into your brain

[ascorian]

a little 5 minute vent about a thing that makes my life very miserable

[theereina]

Big Mama Pt. 1

Pairing: Terry Richmond x Plus Size Fem Black!OC

Wordcount: 1,462

Warnings: MDNI (18+) mature content, such as cursing, teasing, no smut (alluding to sexual situations), heavily dialogue-centered, use of Daddy, Mama, and other pet names (lil' mama, pretty girl, etc.)

A/N: I literally haven't written in years. I'm open to critiques. I am a little 🤏🏽 sensitive about my writing. Please, don't be too harsh.🥺 Feel free to bring my attention to any typos. Divider by @firefly-graphics. Also, this work is not to be plagiarized or reposted (on any site other than here on Tumblr). I do NOT give consent for any form of republishing or rewriting.

PART 2 => 🦋

"You look like you bite," I said looking at him directly in his eyes. They were a greenish-hazel color that resembled fallen leaves. Nothing about this man's appearance was hard on the eyes. His face, his eyes, his lips, his body, and even his smile were driving me silently insane. His presence was intimidating yet inviting. An aura surrounded this man that demanded attention and took up space.

He stared back at me with a challenge brewing in his eyes. "I do, but only if you want me to. I promise," he said not even hiding his smirk. All I could do was stare at this smug bastard. I knew that he knew the effect he was having on me. If he couldn't see it on my face, the heat from my body was evidence enough. I was getting hotter by the second.

"Mhmm," I said while turning away. I honestly just wanted to see what he would do. I couldn't let this man see me fold this quickly. I wasn't retreating; it's just that I needed a moment to promptly gather myself. I was fucking losing it. We hadn't even spoken three sentences, and I was already struggling to think. I was normally a quick-witted smartass with a lot to say. Everything about this man was short-circuiting my brain, and I didn't like one bit of it.

"Where you going? C'mere, lil' mama," he teased. The way that man's voice had me in a chokehold. It was thick, heavy, and warm like raw honey. All I could do was smile. I paused and turned back to face him. "Why would I come to you when I'm the meal? If you want it, come get it," I said motioning for him to come here. Now, why the fuck did I do that?

"Meal? I'd prefer it if you were dessert. Daddy's got a sweet tooth," he said striding towards me. He was closing in on the space that I was using for comfort. I felt like I was melting in the spot I stood in. I had to think about my next move. I had to do something. I took a breath and relaxed as much as I could before speaking. The last thing I wanted to do was show this man that I was a nervous fucking wreck. "Well, I guess it's a good thing Mama's a baker," I said while winking up at him. At this point, there was no space between us. We were chest to chest, and I could feel every rise and fall between us.

There was no turning back now. The smile that this man wore from what I said had me blushing. I couldn't cover it up even if I tried. Clearly, I had lost this battle, but I would try my fucking hardest to win the war.

We were way past the point of this being friendly or casual banter. The sexual tension was heavy between us, and I had some shit to prove. He reached up and gently caressed my chin. Breaking me from my trance as he spoke, "Focus, mama. Where your head at, pretty girl?" His smile was now even more intense and sinister. It was as if he was feeding off of my nervousness. Was he getting off on watching me react like this? A devil, I tell you.

At this point, all I could say to myself was "fight back, bitch".

"Just thinking," I said looking up at him. I was struggling to keep my composure. I bit my lip to hide the anxious smile I was fighting. He said nothing as his eyes dropped to watch my movements. His eyes flowed from my lip to my body and back up to my eyes again.

Antsy and nervous, I began to rock on my heels shyly. My facade was beginning to break, and I was crumbling by the second. "Uh oh. Is all that big girl energy fading away?" he asked slowly using his thumb to stroke my cheek. "Big girl energy? I'm a grown woman." I snapped back. I instantly dropped my eyes in regret. "Oouu, there she goes," he said raising one of his eyebrows. This man was taking me for a joke, and my dumbass was letting him.

I raised my head to meet his eyes again. "You don't take shit I say seriously. Do you,... Um... Wait, I never got your name," I stated while watching him and waiting for a response. "Yes, you did. I told you what it was. You don't remember? Huh, pretty girl?" he questioned gathering my hand in his. He held my hand while I struggled to remember if this man ever said his name. I couldn't recall him ever saying a name at all. I, for sure, would have remembered replying with mine if he did. Was I that dumbstruck by this man? Did he have me forgetting portions of this conversation?

Then, it hit me. He said a name, but there was no way in hell that he wanted me to call him that. Right? Did he really want me to call him "DADDY"? I couldn't call a man that, especially a man that I just met. This had to be a joke. I was pulled from my thoughts by feeling his hand cupping my chin. He raised my face upwards to meet his gaze. Those striking eyes were piercing down into mine, and I could almost swear his eyes had darkened to bronze.

The growing intensity of his gaze and the faint grip he held on my chin indicated that he was awaiting an answer. "Something tells me you know exactly what my name is. You just don't want to say it. It's okay. I'll get it out of you one way or another, lil' mama," he said laughing. "And how are you going to do that?" I asked raising my hands to play with the lower hem of his plain t-shirt. "Don't worry. It doesn't matter if I got chu yellin' it, screamin' it, whisperin' it, crying' it. As long as I got chu sayin' it, I did my job," he said leaning in closer.

I could feel the warmth of every breath he took on my neck. The heat from that alone was like a smoke signal. I refused to fall prey to my own desperation, but my brain and pussy were now working against each other. I desired to feel every part of this man in EVERY capacity. I needed a closer connection, so I used the hem of his shirt to softly pull him in closer. I wouldn't dare fold that fucking easily. Not like this.

*FIGHT BACK!*

The wheels were now turning in my head, and my brain was in overdrive. I had to finish what I started. He was right about one thing. I WAS A "BIG GIRL". A woman whose thighs destroyed jeans on the regular and who could talk a lot of shit but wasn't going to take much of it. I had to get him while he was close enough to feel it.

"And what job might that be? Huh,....Daddy?" I asked while trailing my hand up his chest to rest on his shoulder. "Mmmm..." he said taking a deep breath. GOT HIM! He removed his hand that was resting on my chin and rubbed the back of his neck. "What? Did I say something wrong?" I asked sheepishly. I was proudly smirking at this point. "Nah. You said everything right," he said smiling back at me.

I decided to take it up a notch. What was the harm in having a little fun? We were only talking after all. I couldn't believe I was feeding into this, but fuck it. "So, does that make me a good girl?" I asked stroking my hand along the back of his neck awaiting an answer.

I could feel the shift in his energy. Desire overtook his eyes. His playfulness had turned primal. "Are you?" he asked tilting his head while watching me. "What's the fun in tellin' you when I could just show you?" I replied as I stilled my hand to rest on his neck. He caught my hand and brought it to rest at his lips. He placed small kisses on the back of my hand. His eyes never left mine. "I guess that settles it, lil' mama. You busy tonight? I think I might have something fun for us to do," he asked smugly.

I knew exactly what this man meant, and I was going to enjoy every minute of it. I just hope he can keep up because...

"Big Mama don't fold, and Big Mama don't quit. If you stay awhile, she'll show you some shit."

Taglist: @avoidthings @brattyfics @5headsupremacist @creartivefairy

[dipperscavern]

reading the father cregan most has made me feel things ?? my womb is empty ?? and waiting for cregan ??

ALSO KISSES i will always read your tags. they are the favorite parts of my day, in addition to when you post. notifications stay ON.

climbing up the walls with more thoughts of father cregan 🤠 (gods be fucking good, this does sound like a convent. hi sisters!) 🛐

i digress. as we have well established, cregan is a lovely father. he's patient. he's a leader. and he's got that stark loyalty and determination to protect what he loves. which is you and your little pups. (ur so right. he only refers to them as pups.)

i imagine that when your water breaks, you are squeezing this man's hand to the point of bone breakage. pleading with him not to leave. so when the maesters come in and settle you, they look at cregan, expecting him to leave the room - per tradition. one of them, maybe the youngest, starts speaking. "lord stark-" and cregan shuts that shit DOWN ☝️ "your lady stark does not wish it." and everyone knows to shut up and listen when it comes to lord and lady stark.

he is absolutely the type of lad to pick your kids pups up as they climb all over him. once in a post, you described his back as burly enough to sled on and your kids are determined to test that. HELP CAN we actually picture cregan's velocity sliding down a hill like 😐 while his kids are giggling, sliding on his back. hi! hello!

he tells your kids stories of the north in that rugged god-sent accent as he tucks them in for bed. will probably sneak out with them in the night to go get lemoncakes from the kitchen. he gives them cute little fur cloaks to wear, with the house stark embroidery. THIS IS SO CUTE I AM GOING TO SOB

holds them during his meetings. could literally be planning to go to battle or smth, and one of his kids comes in. he just puts them on his lap before continuing with battle strategy. he was just meant to be a dad. he's so giddy about it. so in love with you, and grateful that you gave him this. you gave him chubby little pups running around the castle, hands up in the air reaching for you both. he just wants more :((( crawling at your feet, in your arms, and more in your belly.

i fear i'm going to crash out if i continue. (will definitely be continuing with more asks later. ✊️)

-🔄❄️

REVERSE ELSA ANON HERE TO GRACE US ALL AGAIN !!! yes pls continue later arF ARF ARR ARF

u read my tags….. stop ily. notifications on too i am truly honored. ANYWAYS… SISTERS SISTERS GATHER ROUND. GATHER ROUND FOR FATHER CREGAN

you are so right btw. because when your water breaks, that’s when it all becomes real to you. yes, you want this babe out, but birth is a scary, painful thing. hearing the stories of men choosing to save the babe instead of the mother (i glance to viserys), or of men being done with their wives after they do their duty has only heightened your worry in having to go through it. cregan would never do that to you, you know this, but the thought is a scary one, and it lingers nonetheless. it doesn’t help that the rational side of your brain isn’t in charge right now. you’re afraid.

so when cregan goes to leave and fetch the maesters, you, not usually one to make demands — find yourself almost yelling one.

you both stand rooted to your spots, looking at the fluid on the floor. he was trying to help you into bed, but apparently your pup had other plans. you’re momentarily paused, cregans arm around your waist, hand enclosed in yours while facing the bed. shock hangs in the air as both you realize what this implies. he moves to remove himself from you.

“I will fetch the—“

“No!”

your tone of voice stops cregan in his tracks. has his brows pinching not in their usual hardness, but concern. he had hardly begun to turn away before you reached for him. he tilts his head to look at you, your own dropped down, gaze fixed on the floor. you look at him, a mix of so many emotions on your face cregan could not begin to name them all. you have a hand over your stomach, the other firmly clasped over his arm.

“Do not go. Please, Cregan. I’m afraid.” he’s never heard you like this before. fearful. you mistake his worry for refusal.

“Please— I ask this of you—“

“You need only ask once.” he reassures.

you sigh, relief flooding your veins at cregan heeding your request. it’s tradition for the husband to remain outside of the birth room, but you’re not sure you can do it without him. cregan only pulls you closer, shouting the name of your sworn sword that has been made to accompany you everywhere since the late terms of your pregnancy. the knights response is instant, opening the door with a hand on the hilt of his sword.

“My Lord.”

“Fetch the maesters, Ser. The babe is coming.”

the knight only hesitates with shock, before bowing with the ghost of a smile on his face and running to do as commanded. the entire castle has been waiting on your pups arrival, you both included.

eventually, the maesters arrive — and in tow with them, an army of midwives and your usual ladies in waiting. cregan stands at the foot of the bed, far enough to be out of the way, but close enough to be at your beck and call. they’re attentive, maesters setting up their various herbs & medicines as your ladies in waiting prepare the room itself, your midwives attuned to your every move.

one of the youngest maesters, new in his craft, looks at cregans unwavering form with hesitation. he swallows, and begins to speak before one of the elder maesters can stop him.

“My Lord, it is tradition—“

“Your Lady Stark does not wish it,” he says, looking at the young maester. “So it shall not be.”

the man only nods, returning to his work with his head low. the other people in the room, who have served under cregan for years, know when lord & lady stark come out to quiet themselves & get to work.

the labor is long, and the birth difficult, but cregan is there every step of the way. eventually, hours upon hours later, your pup enters the world — kicking and screaming.

“A boy, Lord Stark!”

cregans heart skips a beat. a boy. an heir.

before you know it you have three. two boys, and one girl. cregan melts into the father role like he was made for it, and every time you get the gift of watching him interact with your kids, you get more and more convinced it is so.

watching them hang off his back, giggles falling from their lips, stretched in a wide smile as his much larger arms come to support under their legs. the view of it from behind makes you laugh, each & every time. cregans back almost swallows your kids whole, their tiny frames dwarfed in comparison. even so, he handles them with a gentleness most wouldn’t expect from the wolf of the north. alike to how you might handle a butterfly landing on your fingertip, or the delicacy used to handle newborn foals.

cregan verses them in the culture of the north, along with its stories. tales of vampire direwolves, the old gods & weirwood trees, and the stories cregan himself was told as a child. he’s careful to not scare them too much, but sometimes, other people can get carried away. a guard or one of the men on his council letting a frightening tale about the others slip, resulting in them asking to sleep with you and cregan for the night. of course, you oblige every time, generous in your reassurances that the others are no match for Ice — or for their father.

your daughter has him wrapped around her finger. pleas of staying up just a little longer, or riding just down that trail are almost always obliged. he can’t help it, when she looks up at him with those big pleading eyes of hers — the ones that are akin to yours. asking him sweetly if they could please check for any leftover lemon cakes. it’s late, she should be asleep, but cregan can’t help himself. opening the door in a way so it won’t creak, hushing her giggles and buying the cooks silence as they get a late night snack.

and yeah, when one of his pups stumble into the council meeting, he doesn’t turn them away. he picks them up to slot them on his lap, and the stern look on his face is all they need to see to know to be quiet if they want to stay. he could be planning anything — from a hunt, to going to the winter town himself to take care of a group of men intent on causing havoc. it could lead to bloodshed, but your kids don’t seem to hear that part, just content being with their father.

cregan wouldn’t trade this life for anything. he loves his pups, and he’s so in love with you. passing by each other during the day, and cregan always stops you, pulling you to him to slot his lips against yours — no matter how busy he is. he can’t help it, you’re just so lovely, and you’ve given him so much. he thinks of you every time he looks at your pups, and he feels his heart skip a beat in his chest. seeing your pups throw snowballs at each other, and he can’t resist, pulling you close & bending to connect your lips with his. you melt into him every time.

[kathaynesart]

Replica Holiday Special Winners!

Happy Holidays everyone! It's that time of year and you know what that means! Time to announce the winners for the DTIYS Replica Holiday Special Cover!

I received so many wonderful submissions. Far more than I had anticipated! They were all so unique and creative and it was an absolute joy to look at each and every one of them! I really underestimated however how difficult it would be to choose with them all being so unique from each other. In the end, I decided to gauge the top picks on how well their cover captured the "essence" of what this Special is going to be like! Without further ado, here are the winners.

HONORABLE MENTION - @matchstique

Buddy! I love this piece so dang much! It has so much character and perfectly displays the wacky hijinks we can expect as well as the huge amount of stress our poor boys are under during these trying, pregnancy times. The movement and colors work so well and make me excited for what comes next! Seldom do I see pregnant females shown as the badasses they are, but you have gone and turned Cassandra into an absolute icon with this piece! Bless you!

3RD PLACE - @thegunnsara

Sara, the shear amount of craft you put into your art is STAGGERING. Every scuff on Raph's shell and wisp of smoke screams of a quality I can only hope to attain someday. I literally want to be you when I grow up! That said, the concept of this piece is also fantastic. One of the things I'm must excited about for this Special is getting to see Raph and Casey as they were and witnessing the strong bond they share. I love them dearly and this cover captures their strength and tenacity so perfectly. Gods among men.

2ND PLACE - @cupcakeslushie

Slushie, this cover is so damn fun and dynamic that I can't stop looking at it! Your attention to detail and composition are masterful and the fact that you could fit such a bombastic battle into such a limited space speaks to how crazy talented you are! You also do a wonderful job of retaining both the intensity of the apocalypse but also that playful edge that Rise always manages to retain! It's definitely the cover that would catch my eye on a shelf and make me want to turn the page to see what happens next!

1ST PLACE - @abbeyofcyn

Cyn, the moment I saw this cover, I gasped! It's funny because this is both a piece I could have totally seen myself doing had I done the cover, yet crafted in a unique way I could have never come up with on my own! On top of that, this slick composition scratches my little designer brain juuust right. The use of the hands motif is such a great element because to me, it encapsulates the conflicting themes of family/parenthood with the drama of what it means to be human. On top of that, having each character as one of the digits both connected to and encircling Casey is such a wonderful touch that really drives the symbolism home. Somehow, you managed to peer into the future and perfectly capture how the finale of this special is going to feel. Thank you so much Cyn for such a wonderful piece!

~~~~~~~~~

Now that I think about it, looking back on these winners as a set, all four them actually do an amazing job as individual covers for each of the four "acts" that will make up this special. That was not at all my intention, but it kind of worked out perfectly for that. Gets me all emotional!

I also definitely want to put a spotlight on the other amazing submissions, many of which made it SO close to the top slots! I was going to post these pieces individually but I was worried people wouldn't then go to their blogs to view the covers, so instead have a compilation and links to the full versions! Please check out everyones amazing covers and give them some love. They all worked really hard and it means so much to me. Thank you everyone!

@dreamundraws - LINK @honeylief - LINK @gemini-forest - LINK @memorydarkness - LINK @skullythefriendlyskullface - LINK @v-albion - LINK @its-wabby-stuff - LINK @yris-latteyi - LINK @reagi-df - LINK @chaoscontrol50 - LINK / LINK @murasakibonnet - LINK @hitwiththetmnt - LINK @xandriagreat - LINK @karonkar - LINK @sunydays - LINK (sorry my dear, yours did not appear on my hashtag reference at first! D: But still love it!) @quailaz - LINK @delicatechildwitch - LINK

Thank you again all of you! You all did such an amazing job!

[liliadrawingstuff]

Please take this Post with satire. I am just ascendingly screaming over the Faba Bio Leak. I waited for this moment to happen and actually gave it up but damn. I WASNT READY FOR THIS AHAHAHA

SMALL DISCLAIMER: I want to clarify. I see those leaked things not as canon. Just as his base idea that they changed through development. But. I am just going to act like as If this would be canon in this post.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BLACK OR BLONDE HAIR. BLACK HAIR FABA WAS AN OPTION?

ey he is 165 cm... That's. THATS LITERALLY THE EXACT HEIGHT I THOUGHT OF HIM AS LMAOOOOOOO. WHATTTTTTT look at my pinned post for proof 🫵🏻 SMALL LITTLE GUYYYY AAAGHHH.

53 years old pretty much fits. I headcanoned him as mid 40's to begin 50's so hell yeah!! Old man!!

.

.

But. One question is.

WHO IS YOUR WIFE AND CHILD. 🫵🏻 WHO IS YOUR WIFE AND CHILD. WHY ARE YOU MARRIED. (I would love to meet them. Maybe.) WHOOOOOOO!!!!! THOOOOO!! WHO WOULD MARRY YOU???? (ahum...yea) I have to headcanon that his concept wife is either just as toxic as him or a poor woman he treats badly. Well I prefer the first hc in that case.

SPEAKING OF TREATING WOMEN BADLY!! THIS DANG ASS MISOGYNIST. PAHAHA. I love how they clarify "opposite Sex" but not same sex? Is this guy a misogynistic closeted gay?? He can have fights with the 1 or 2 misandrist Lesbians on Xitter and get obliterated.

I love that they went with arrested and fired for his ending. He can join Team Plasma in the Anime Jail. (So that's how he met Colress!! okno) but I think it's very cute that in the end they all gave him a second chance in most medias. (Besides the Manga...I guess ahum ahum)

Germanic descent? Still vibe with him as French/Kalosian more but him shouting angrily in German would be SOMETHING. I can see that now so much.... Maybe he is French German after all who knows. Kinda fits. (also my pride of being German just highered itself by 0.0001 %). German region when where we meet Fabas Wife and traumatized Child with awful parents.

The fact he is described super kind to Lusamine is actually very fun. Just sliming himself up the career ladder. I have urges to slap him real bad because all of this //affec

"But thanks to the Aether Foundation he gets great powerful pokemon" IF THAT WOULD BE CANON THEY ONLY GAVE HIM A HYPNO WHAT DO YOU MEAN. And lend him more pokemon afterwards so he can battle you as champion? Would be funny. But yeah. I stand with the HC that all of his mons all have a special reason to be in his team and why he is with them.

But the "his hobby is sexual harassment" cought me so off guard. I can't help but laugh about it. It sounds so bad. The bad wording probably kills me. FABA PLEASE. FOR THINKING USE YOUR BRAIN!! NOT SMTH ELSE. YOU DICKHEAD.

Also it was planned that he gets a watch.... Guy had to show off his rich kid watch surely to impress others.

God damn I want to hit him so hard //affec

I wanna draw a bit related to the leaks as a joke and then come back to answer messages and look what horrors yall think of this ajehdbka

Xenley is preparing her fists because she will be allowed to beat him up.

Lilac is gonna get the first aid and tells him everything will be fine and that this is just a nightmare.

[imjustdreamingig]

Run Away

Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: You were never a shy person, until it came to talking to the boy you liked.

A/N: Well, this is my first time writing something like this so... please be nice. I was kinda tired of only seeing shy!reader stuff so I decided to base this on my personality. So yeah, kind of based on a true story. What reader does in this story I've actually done in real life which is mortifying. Anyways!!! This is just edited by me so lmk how I can improve and if I should write a part 2??? Maybe?? Idk. Enjoy!

PS: Robin and Steve work together, nothing monstery has happened, they're all in the same grade. It's a bunch of dumb teenagers together battling high school.

Warnings: sfw, cursing, fluff? people being dumb?? idk what else tbh

You've never considered yourself to be a shy person. In fact, you were very much so extroverted, never finding qualms in chatting to your classmates or asking you're teacher questions in class that some may think are stupid. You didn't care.

Aside from being a little nervous back in elementary school, that trait had dissolved as you got older, and it definitely wasn't present at the moment during your senior year at Hawkins High.

However. As much as you liked to claim to be unbothered with public speaking and your ability to make friends easily, there was one thing that you couldn't just quite get over, no matter how hard you tried. And quite frankly, it was getting old and ridiculous.

"Fuck, Robin he's coming down the hall," you exclaimed, "move, move, move, move!"

You didn't bother checking if she was behind you, already knowing she would be as you practically ran to your second period class. It was the first day of the new semester anyways, you could use the excuse of wanting to get good seats to justify your cowardice to yourself later tonight.

"Jesus Christ," you heard Robin mutter as she finally caught up to you, "You know I have asthma, I cannot keep doing this every time you so much catch a glimpse of Steve."

You slowed down your pace, your heart not feeling as though it would burst out of your chest anymore. You still sported a slight flush on your face from the thought of the almost encounter you had with the jock.

"I know, I know, this is getting so stupid. I promise next time I'll talk to him, I swear," you said as you sighed forlornly.

Robin turned to you with an unimpressed stare. "That's what you said last time, and the time before that, and the time before that, and yet here we are," she waved her hands dramatically.

Here's your problem. An issue that is a complete juxtaposition of your usual personality. The moment you've ever realized you have a crush on someone, you would run away from them anytime you saw them. Literally. You would full on sprint away in the opposite direction.

You've never really understood why this happens, only knowing that the second you saw your current crush, you're usual non existent nerves would make a prevalent appearance. You'd freeze and your eyes would widen as your brain chose the flight response when confronted with a potential dangerous situation.

"Look dingus, I love you and I think you're awesome and all that, blah blah blah, but this has got to stop," Robin stated as you both took your seats in your English class. "You're embarrassing me just as much as you're embarrassing yourself and our social status cannot take that much more of a beating."

You knew she was joking but just grunted in response, having buried your face in the crook of your elbow, not even bothering to open up your notebook. You heard Robin sigh and could tell she was rolling her eyes at you.

"You know..." Robin started, "I could always just...talk to him for you? Give him you're number or something during our shift at-"

Your raised your head immediately, almost giving yourself whiplash. "Robs, no way. We've talked about this before! I just - this situation is already awkward as it is, that would just make it worse."

"Hey, I'm just trying to help, but if you wanna suffer some more that's totally your choice." Robin says as she shrugs her shoulders. "Besides, with all that running your doing, at least you're getting some cardio in."

You let out as surprised squawk. "Robin come on! Not funny!" She doesn't reply, merely continuing to laugh at you. All you did was just groan in response again, settling your head in your arms once more.

A few weeks ago, you had been walking to your locker whilst attempting to shove a bunch of textbooks into your bag at the same time. Obviously, everything fell and it just so happened that Steve was nearby and helped you out.

"Oh my God, you don't have to, it's totally fine," you'd stammered, just the tiniest bit embarrassed of dropping your books in the middle of the crowded hallway.

"Don't sweat it, it happens to the best of us." Steve chuckled as he handed you your notebook.

And then it happened. The event that you frequently replay over and over in your mind, the event that kickstarted the affections you had for the boy.

Once everything was stored safely in your bag, Steve stood up and wiped his hands on his jeans. He then turned his attention to you and simply offered you his hand to help you up.

You stared into his big, brown eyes, completely dumbfounded. Here he was, an average man doing the absolute bare minimum and yet you still found yourself practically falling at his feet, your heart feeling as thought it was going to beat out of your chest.

"I- uh, I mean, thanks for the hand Steve," you stammered as you tentatively took his hand and pulled yourself off the floor. You cringed when you felt that it was sort of shaking and kind of clammy, hoping Steve wouldn't notice. "Both literally and figuratively."

You wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow you up after you blurted out those words. To your surprise, Steve let out a laugh, a genuine laugh. His eyes sort of crinkled and you could see the slight indent of a dimple. As if the man needed to get any more attractive in your eyes.

"It's no problem at all," he reassured you. "I'll be seeing you." He gave a quick wave and then turned in the direction of the cafeteria. Your hands tightened on the straps of your backpack as you watched him walk away, admiring the view.

Oh ew, you suddenly thought to yourself, now that was just pathetic.

Ever since that moment, you couldn't give yourself that last push you needed to talk to him. Even after the multitude of pep talks you give yourself in the mirror, including the ones from Robin, you still always ran away whenever you saw him.

You'd be a fool to think he didn't notice it and prayed he didn't mistake it for you hating him or something.

The sound of the bell signaling the start of class pulled you from your misery, forcing you to pay attention to your teacher so you didn't face the consequences of falling behind so early in the term.

Amidst your groveling, you'd failed to notice a particular brunet enter the class and take a seat at a desk a few rows behind you. Who knows what your reaction would have been if you did. Robin just kept her mouth shut, simply winking in Steve's direction when she caught his eye.

"Alright class, settle down and listen up," your teacher began. "I know it's the first day of the semester, but I wanted to introduce an assignment before anything else to make sure you have enough time to complete it and do an excellent job."

The entire class let out a collective groan, yourself included. How could she already be giving out assignments when she hasn't even properly introduced herself?

You turned to Robin, brows furrowed in annoyance. "I think she's got her agenda mixed up, she's introducing things in the wrong order."

"Fuck this, I should've taken Eddie's warning more seriously. Now I understand why everyone hates her," Robin gripped, running a hand through her cropped hair, already looking a little stressed.

You nodded in agreement and added, "I think I get why people hate English so much too."

Robin laughed. "But you'll still love it anyways, won't you?" she chided. Before you had a chance to reply, your teacher began speaking again.

"Settle down, please! If you listen, you'd hear that this not due until the last month of the semester and you'll be working in partners," she stated, "so not only will you have plenty of time to work on it, but you'll also have some help." You and Robin glanced at each other, hopefully smiles tugging at both of your faces.

"Your partners will be assigned by me," the whole class collectively groaned again, "which is what I'll be doing as we get through attendance. I'll explain the criteria before moving on."

"Yep, I think I hate this class at least a little bit now," you complained to Robin, already making a mental checklist of what school stuff you should at least start on later in the afternoon.

"-ohn Gilmore, Phoebe Burton, partners. Steve Harrington, Y/N Y/L/N, partners. Billy Holden, Rob-"

You froze for a second, as if you were glitching. Steve was in... this class? There was no way, you would have absolutely noticed him. But as you snuck a glance behind you, sure enough there he was, sitting in his chair, mindlessly twirling a pencil through his fingers. To your surprise, he was actually looking back at you too and- wait hold up, was he smirking?

You immediately spun back around, hand lurching to grip onto the sides of your desk. You then blinked a couple of time, praying your face wasn't as red as you felt like it was.

"Nope, nope, absolutely not. No thank you," you said as you shook your head from side to side. "Miss, this is a joke right?" you inquired out loud.

You were eventually going to talk to Steve, you were sure of it. The day was coming where you could have some sort of a conversation with him without running away, you could feel it. The moment was almost here.

Today, however, was absolutely not that day.

Just when you were about to complain to you teacher out loud again, you feel a presence behind you.

"Oh come on, you're already dismissing me as a terrible English partner? I'm wounded, seriously." The voice was laced in amusement. You did not need to turn around to know who it belonged to.

Before you could even think of a response, Robin turns to you, clearly finding your horror to the situation hilarious, and says, "Well, I think you're going to hate this class a little bit too."

Well fuck.

[chiangyorange]

Do you have any LoZ/LU fic recs?

i have many! they wont be organized in any particular way tho

i started just hucking links at this until i realized, oh this is gettin really long actually, so im going to shove everything under the cut with the link to the fic itself and some personal notes from me to hopefully get you to read them!!

for Linked Universe;

Two Moon Pearls and the Master Sword by serbii

the chain get sent to the dark world and literally everyone but four, sky, and legend get to turn into animals about it. also baby legend is there <3 this also has an in progress sequel!!! its so fucking good!!!!!!

Absence by Anonymous

wild forgets he has to TELL PEOPLE that he has amnesia. this has consequences. i love wild and warriors dynamic so much theyre such a duo. if i believe in my heart other people can see the vision too.... sobs. WAILS EVEN.

Dearly, Departed by boo_boo_thefool

a series of post-lu oneshots revolving around each of the heroes!! hasnt reached all 9 of the chain yet but still a damn good read. if i think too hard about this one i can and will cry. on command even.

The Missing Link by SparklingWonderQueen

ongoing fic about if the chain met wild riiiiight at the beginning of totk when hes still missing!

willow bark and chamomile by schrodingers__cat

a REALLY fucking good read. like oh my god i just got SUCKED into this from start to finish. if ur a legend fan yes the fuck you are. get in there. go.

Dawn of the Fourth by LazuliQuetzal

also a damn good read!!! time gets de-aged and wind goes "haha im the big brother now. ... OH NO IM THE BIG BROTHER NOW!!!!!!" fucking hilarious. absolutely heart wrenching. these things are both true at the same time

ageless quest by fandomsandshit

OOOOOOOH YOU WANNA READ ABOUT THE CHAIN SEEING THE LIGHT DRAGON AND CONTEMPLATING THEIR OWN ADVENTURES SO BAD OOOOOHHH (theres three installments so far and if i think about THIS ONE i will ALSO cry on command about it. man i fucking love totk zelda so much why did they do that to her poor girl)

To Share, to Speak, and to Hear by NajikaSun

i cannot explain to you how much i love the knights trio. i have many feelings about them and they will sit riiiight here. its about the weight of legacy its about the weight of trying to fulfill your duties. you get it.

darning the threads as they fray by Ammo_Writes

this ones not done but bow howdy does it get my brain CHUGGING!! the tone... the haunting feeling.... augh... AUGH !!!! WHERES MY BOY I MISS HIM SO MUCH.

sorrow, immortality, and hope by virtualpng

READING THIS MADE ME WANT TO TEAR MY FURNITURE APART WITH MY TEETH!!! OHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD ITS SO GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD this author's other fics within the series also fucking slap. hard. god. the chain (who havent met wild yet) meet a stranger in ordon

Applejuice Stains on the Past by MjsKindaHere

HEY REMEMBER WHAT I SAID ABOUT THE KNIGHTS TRIO??> sky gets de-aged and wild is NOT normal about it. legacies and expectations and burdens etce etc. you get it

Young volcanoes by jelly_dragons

wild is incredibly fussy about how he was forced to wear the big clunky ass flamebreaker set in his journey meanwhile sky just gets some fancy shmancy earrings about it. the duo go into a volcano. hilarity ensues.

The Ruin They've Made Me by CluelessMoose

botw link's last battle did NOT go well with calamity ganon and leaves him possessed by the damn thing. and then the chain pop in. (owwwww OWWWWWWWWWWW)

Twin Quasar by StrixEye

written before totk released and its still unfinished but MAN AM I A SUCKER FOR GOOD COMPELLING TIMETRAVEL.

hold on, reaper by virtualpng

the chain before they ever meet wild but they pop into his hyrule anyway while hes in the shrine of resurrection. wind meets a ghost at fort hateno. god i fucking lost ghost stories.

steady going under by rebornofstars

the boys.... theyre sleepy.... specifically on top of twilight...

I'm A Riddle In Nine Syllables by SilverheartSP

GOD i fucking love ghost stories. pre-lu in botw where wild meets the chain as ghosts first, and THEN actually meets them

The Legacies You Leave Behind by Eureka5215

flora-centric study about her interactions with the chain. because she cant ever escape the overwhelming weight of a legacy like me too girl so real. yes this is part of my fixation on the knight trio. their haunted sadwoman air surrounding all four of them have captivated me mind and soul

Untarnished by Tashacee

MAN I FUCKING LOVE GHOST STORIES!!!! lovelovelove tash's hero's aspect au obvs the 2nd piece of fanart i did for this fandom was FOR heros aspect but man... MANNNNNNN UNTARNISHED HITS ME DIFFERENT!!!!! first..... ily king <3<3<3

In Flux by zippe

FUUUUUCKCKCKCKKCKC I LOVE FUCKY ASS TIME TRAVEL it can be to heartwrenching and this one is exactly thattttttt augh. AUGH!!!!!! i lose it ever time remembering this one

~~~

LOZ in general, but mainly botw/totk(and some aoc);

For The People by myfairstarlight

hey girl where did the divine beasts go. sidon is NOT having a good time about it hes EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED to that thing!!!!

That Brilliant Blue (A Bittersweet Goodbye) by myfairstarlight

hey. what do you mean sidon and mipha are doomed siblings. ill cry.

VIRTUE IS DROWNED, WITH HOLY HANDS, BY SORROW by lizandre

totk zelda in her time in the past. she is. not doing well!!!!

Again by Drich (drich147)

botw timeloop fic. yeah. theres this one scene where its revealed that guardians have a fuckign partymode???? thats hilarious.

so i'll never die when i'm dead by arashi_the_pancake

OW. FUCK. au where after turning into the light dragon zelda keeps her consciousness about it. shes not doing well!!!

[girltalkcollectives]

The Fear of Being Called On

Let me paint you a picture of what social anxiety really looks like, because apparently some professors still don’t get it.

There I was, second day of class, sitting in my usual spot (back row, closest to the door — my fellow anxiety girlies know exactly why). The homework was done. Actually, it was more than done. I’d spent three hours the night before making sure I understood every single detail, highlighting important points, writing notes in the margins. Because that’s what we do, right? We over-prepare just to feel slightly less terrified.

But then it happened.

“Why don’t you explain this concept to the class?”

My name, hanging in the air like a death sentence. Twenty heads turning to look at me. The familiar wave of panic washing over me — heart racing, palms sweating, throat closing up. You know that feeling when your mind goes completely blank? Like someone just wiped your brain clean? Yeah. That.

And suddenly I’m rambling. The words are coming out all wrong. Everything I studied, everything I KNEW, turned into this jumbled mess of half-formed thoughts. I can hear myself talking, but it’s like I’m outside my body, watching this trainwreck happen in slow motion.

But the worst part? The absolute worst part wasn’t even the public humiliation. It was what happened after class.

Picture this: The professor pulls me aside, looks at me with that condescending smile (you know the one), and says, “If you don’t get it together, you’re getting a 0. You need to do the work.”

Let that sink in.

I did the work.

I ALWAYS do the work.

The work isn’t the problem.

MY ANXIETY IS THE PROBLEM.

I tried to explain. God, I tried. “I have social anxiety and so I have problems with public speaking,” I said, my voice shaking. “It’s hard for me to articulate my thoughts when I’m put on the spot.” Basic anxiety 101, right?

Her response? “It doesn’t seem like you did the work.”

EXCUSE ME?

Do you want to see my highlighted textbook? My color-coded notes? The three hours of work I did last night? The sleep I lost preparing for a class I was terrified to attend?

But here’s what I couldn’t say in the moment, what I wish I had screamed: Having social anxiety doesn’t mean I’m lazy. It doesn’t mean I’m unprepared. It means my brain literally fights against me every time I have to speak in public. It means I can know something inside and out but completely freeze when all eyes are on me.

So yeah, I dropped the class.

And before anyone comes at me with “you’re letting anxiety win” or “you need to push through it” — save it. Sometimes protecting your mental health means walking away. Sometimes self-care looks like saying “this environment is toxic for me” and choosing a different path.

To my girls out there dealing with social anxiety: I see you. I see you doing twice the work just to feel half as prepared. I see you picking seats based on escape routes. I see you having full conversations in your head that turn into gibberish the moment you have to speak them out loud.

You’re not lazy.

You’re not stupid.

You’re not unprepared.

You’re dealing with an anxiety disorder that people still refuse to understand.

And to that professor: I hope you read this. I hope you realize that somewhere in your classroom right now is another girl like me, doing all the work but drowning in fear. Maybe next time, instead of assuming she’s unprepared, consider that she might be fighting a battle you know nothing about.

Because let me make one thing crystal clear: My anxiety might make me stumble over my words, but it doesn’t make me any less capable, any less intelligent, or any less worthy of respect.

I dropped your class, but I’m not dropping my voice. This is me, speaking up about social anxiety, without stuttering, without fear — because writing lets me say what my anxiety won’t let me.

And to everyone reading this who gets it, who lives it, who feels it: You’re not alone. Your anxiety is real. Your struggles are valid. And don’t let anyone — especially not some teacher who doesn’t understand mental health — make you feel otherwise. 

This is bigger than one bad class experience. This is about a system that still doesn’t understand what anxiety does to us. And I’m done being quiet about it.

[theromanticrationalist]

I am not okay. Not even a little bit. 😭😭😭

Young Sheldon is special to me. I have not been a fan of it super long, but it was an unexpected surprise when I had given up on any American show ever making any profound impact on me again. (Yes, I am being dramatic, but so it is.)

It introduced me to Sheldon Cooper, which finally forced me to give in and watch The Big Bang Theory, and then I fell in love with Shamy and the rest was history.

Sheldon Cooper is a special character for me in that I never had a character so closely be relatable to me. It was kind of shocking and I still kind of can’t believe that this character exists. Things Sheldon Cooper has said and thought have been quite literally things I have said and thought. His struggles are my own struggles. These things of life that come more easily for other people, do not for me. I mean I am going to be 38, and I am just now getting my drivers license! I am pretty proud of myself for this achievement, but it is just one of many examples of how I totally understand Sheldon’s way of processing and navigating this world. It is slow. It is hard. It is a constant uphill battle that pretty much no one understands. Everyone thinks you are weird, and you might as well be speaking Klingon whenever you talk about the things you are passionate about. Even your own family thinks you are a little strange, even if they love you. You wish you could just live as a brain, as that would be SO much easier, but nah, you gotta deal with complex and frightening emotions and biological processes and somatic experiences!

So yeah, Sheldon is dear to me. I am upset to have to say good-bye to the character when I literally have just met him. (Thank you binge watching!) I mean I have rewatches and future meta analyses to look forward to, but there won’t be anymore of his story. It makes me sad.

And of course, the whole Cooper Family I have come to love, and I think this whole show is absolutely brilliant, despite its flaws. I hope to be able to talk more in-depth why I think it is such an important show for American television and the state of our current culture. It might be a spicy take, but necessary. 😏

Sheldon Cooper can teach us a lot. He can teach us that the human experience is myriad, and that the world becomes ever the more beautiful by that which is obtuse, weird, and bizarre. Human beings weren’t meant to be neatly categorized, and life wasn’t meant to be quantified. There is beauty in the imperfection. Not because the Ideal does not exist, but that somehow, in a mysterious way, that which is already Perfect becomes fuller, more realized, deeper, and more itself - through - imperfection.

I don’t know. I’m still figuring it out and discovering this life myself…

“For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy…” | Hebrews 10:14

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Snowflame

(WARNING! This analysis contains C-C-C-COCAINE!)

Imagine this absurd concept: A supervillain cartel boss whose powers are fueled by him getting high off his own supply. Imagine too that this man wears a ridiculous outfit, and exists to be an anti-drug PSA that fails epically because he makes doing drugs look awesome. Now also imagine that everything about him is played completely straight without a single bit of acknowledgment of how absurd and campy the whole thing is.

That, my friends, is Snowflame.

The New Guardians is a comic series that would have been long forgotten as a crusty relic of the late 80s if not for giving the world the absolute coolest villain ever conceived. Snowflame has amassed a cult following the likes of which would make Jim Jones envious, due to the sheer absurdity of his existence and the pure unadulterated action movie villain charm of his dialogue. He’s perhaps one of the most minor villains out there with only a handful of appearances to his name, but he’s loved more than villains who’ve appeared twenty times as much as him.

I’m here to show you why.

Motivation/Goals: Snowflame is a cartel leader, and so he really wants to peddle drugs. Guess which drug is his forte. Go on, guess. And that’s really all there is to him! I need to reiterate that his threat as a cartel leader is played completely and utterly straight even as he spouts off the hammiest dialogue you’ve ever seen and literally gets a power up by snorting coke. This is the very core of his appeal, in that he is something genuinely terrifying and threatening but presented in a way only a comic book can pull off.

Of course, his true motivation is far, far simpler.

Look at this man. That is the face of a man who exists solely to snort illicit substances up his nose. He lives to be high. That is the extent of his desires, and all else is second to that simple goal. As long as he can ignite and continue to be the instrument of cocaine's will, he is satisfied.

Final Fate: Every single time Snowflame shows up, he dies. In his initial appearance, he apparently blows up, but three decades later, he makes his coke-fueled return to do battle with Catwoman, and despite inhaling enough cocaine to kill an elephant, a feat that should theoretically make him nigh invincible, he fucking dies.

...Or does he? Snowflame returns yet again in Peacemaker Tries Hard! Here he does battle with, you guessed it,

...who puts a poison dart frog in his cocaine and kills him.

Maybe. My theory is that Snowflame is the Kenny of the DC universe, and whenever some bastard kills him his coke-fueled powers just respawn him the next day.

Best Scene: While his fight against Catwoman is unfortunately lackluster as ordained by the writers (Selina is not lasting two seconds against Snowflame and his coke-fueled powers under realistic circumstances), it gave us one of the most gorgeous and badass panels ever made:

Really brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

Best Quote: Yeah, there’s no fucking contest here, it’s this:

Final Thoughts & Score: I think I speak for all of us when I say Snowflame is one of the greatest fucking characters ever conceived.

Everything about him is a towering testament to what makes the medium of comic books great. The best villains tend to be the wildest and most out-there concepts, like a giant alien starfish that mind controls people, or a gay gorilla in love with a brain in a jar, or a giant racist communist egg. And don’t even get me started on the villains the Doom Patrol fights! Snowflame is the epitome of that; he is what would happen if Tony Montana was a DC supervillain by way of Captain Planet. He is absurd, over-the-top, and so goddamn cool.

It’s very obvious they were trying to do an anti-drug PSA here given the time the comic was released, but it absolutely falls flat on its face when the strawman constructed to be defeated so that the lesson might be dispersed is an absolute lunatic who dresses in colorful spandex and spouts off the most epic lines to ever come out of a villain’s mouth. Everything about him is absurd, but unlike something like Egg Fu he’s absurd in a tasteful and cool way rather than a shockingly racist way. Snowflame is just a dude who snorts cocaine to gain superpowers, it’s as simple as that and yet it’s also completely bonkers.

It’s genuinely unsurprising that this guy managed to get such a massive cult following that he spawned a fanmade webcomic and then got to pop up in the comics again over three decades after his supposed death. And it’s said cult following that has allowed him to pop up time and time again, even getting an appearance in the fourth season of Harley Quinn. I’m sure you can guess that I’m part of that massive cult fanbase, and I can only dream of writing a villain as incredible and grandiose as this drug-addled madman. Infinity/10 isn’t a real score, so he’ll have to settle for a 10/10 instead.

...Oh yeah, remember in the Egg Fu review when I said I wasn’t going to review Hemo-Goblin?

Psycho Analysis: Hemo-Goblin

This is gonna be really short, because there is so little to this guy. He is a one-shot, but boy what a fucking shot he is. Hemo-Goblin is a racist vampire created by South African white supremacists to give members of the New Guardians AIDS. You read that right. This is a racist AIDS vampire.

Now, unlike Egg Fu, who was a horrible racist caricature created from topical anti-communist sentiments of the time, Hemo-Goblin was seemingly created with better intentions. But you know what they say about intentions; the road to Hell is paved with good ones. I get wanting to do a commentary on the AIDS crisis, and I don’t think it’s out of the question for a superhero book to handle such a thing, but maybe having an AIDS-powered vampire give HIV to a Jamaican woman and a gay man isn’t the most tasteful and nuanced way to do this.

Oh, and by the end of his only appearance, he dies of AIDS in jail.

I’m not gonna lie, guys: I kinda love this stupid fucking creature. His weird design, the absurdity of his concept, and the awful execution of his premise makes him memorable for all the wrong reasons, but he’s memorable nonetheless. I think if Snowflame didn’t exist and wasn’t the coolest villain ever, more people would talk about the insanity that is Hemo-Goblin, though having a single appearance before dying and never appearing again doesn’t help his case much. Still, he’s just cazy enough to earn himself a 3.5/10, so he’s got that going for him.

[nocturius8015ficore]

Fanfiction #6: Of All the Things I've Lost

Nocturius: 6th Republic Commando fanfiction!

This story is a very intimate and a bit experimental one about Fi's slow recovery from his brain injury. It also talk about his early relationship with Parja. The format is 30 ''datapad entries'' spread on about 200 days, so I suggest you to read it SLOWLY and take the time to imagine and feel the gaps in your head.

Enjoy!

I'M ALSO ON Ao3! -> click HERE

Title: Of All the Things I've Lost

Fandom: Star Wars Republic Commando books by Karen Traviss

Characters: Fi Skirata, Parja Bralor, Bardan Jusik

Rating: Teens and up. **Sensible topic (depression/suicidal thoughts)**

Topic: Fi's brain injury, physical and psychological recovery, memory loss, love

Pitch: To help Fi getting better, Parja told Fi to keep a personal journal. It was one of his hardest mission.

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

Of all the things I've lost by Fi-Core/Nocturius Between True Colors and Order 66 Around 550 to 750 days after the battle of Geonosis Kyrimorut, Mandalore -------------------------------

Fi’s datapad journal entry #001 Parja tol me to keep jornal. Feel dubm doin i. Hansss messy & shaky. Diffikultt to ritwe. Fiefk

---

#002 Wgo is Parja? Missin my vode. ---

#003 Not sure wher i am. Where every1??? I scrared ---

#004 Knees hurt, I fell too ofte toda y ---

#005 Food good, happy belly, happi Fy!

--- #006 Parja makes me walk agan today. She kind & patient. She say I progess ---

#007 Bard’ika came today. Healing T-time! I wish I could takl to Dar about the bb… I miss my vode. I wan a to go home ---

#008 I’m so lost. Dont even know wehre home is. Where is Niner? Are they dead?! ---

#009 Parja is cute ❤ Hope she wont read that. oh well ---

#010 shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, osik, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, shab, copy-paste is my new friend! 😃

--- #011 I feel like osik. Im still unabll to put clothes by myself. All the Nulls are gone. I’m alonr with Parja. She is the 1 who helps me with that now. It's embarrasssing. Not the idea I had of a woman seeing my shebs for the first time… ---

#012 My legs hurt so much. I tried to walk by myself today. Feeling like I only have bones and no meat. Parja shaved me. I’m ugly as shab, way too skinny cheeks. At least I have nice hair growing back. Love when she brushes it. I might keep them long. 😝 ---

#013 Parja showed me how to cook uj cakes. I barely participated this time but she made me lick the spatula.😋 She said she will teach me bits by bits. It’s supposed to be good for me to have small goals like that. Not only work on physical or mental improvement but more ‘’day-to-day’’ and natural things. It’s the Mando way of life, she said. It was wonderful and fun. The freshly baked cakes are so tasty.🤤 Nothing like the ones Kal’buir smuggled on Kamino. ---

#014 I wish I was able to speak full sentences. Writing is getting easier if I take my time. It’s just frustrating, I sound like an idiot or a small child. My mind is getting clearer but I know I forget a lot. I suppose it’s good I know I do. I really hope I’ll continue to get better but my expectations are low. I’m supposed to be dead, they say.

---

#015 I work very hard to get better at coordination. Still can’t take a shower by myself. It’s so embarrassing. It would be simpler if it was a droid doing it but they aren't as soft and delicate as her. I like her touching me, but it’s so wrong. I try to keep my thoughts straight, she is only taking care of me. I’m grateful she never made any comment about… shab. Stuff going on. I can’t help it. It’s all pretty messed up. ---

#016 Memory is a weird thingy, I remember my vode from Teroch squad like it was yesterday but I don’t remember WHAT I ate yesterday. My stomach does tho. Oh dear, that was way too spicy hot…

--- #017 Bard’ika healing therapy is literally a miracle I swear. I’ll never say anything bad about Jedi. Ever.

---

#018 I spilled a full bowl of blue milk and cereal on Parja. So fierfek ashamed and angry about myself. Hate everything, hate myself, hate the shab of all. I never wanted to blow up something that hard in my life. A big ball of explosion would end all of this.

---

#019 Fierfek. I don’t remember why I was sooo angry. Get a grip, trooper. It’s only wasted food. She’s not even mad at me. I want a hug right now, but no one is there except the nurse droid. I feel so lonely.

---

#020 What is a soldier who can’t walk by himself? I’m useless. Actually I don’t want to fight. I just want people to leave me alone, I’m a burden. I don’t want to be alone really. I don’t know what I want. My mind so foggy. Kal’buir say I probably have some PTSD. I don’t know how to handle this.

---

#021 The way she smiles at me. I wish I could stand up and hug her tight, but I can’t hold a shabla spoon without dropping my food. Could she truly loves me one day? Does she see me as a man? ‘Cause I can’t stop thinking about her in an un-jedi-ly way. My chest hurts.

---

#022 Why my thoughts doesn’t align with my mouth? I’m supposed to be Fi-big-mouth-Skirata. More like Fi-big-never-able-to-finish-his-sentences-Di’kut. I don’t mind about my legs, I just want to be able to talk properly and not be so shabla lost all the time. I wish she could have seen me in my prime, I dunno. What is left of me anyway…

---

#023 First 4 meters with no help. Parja kissed me on the cheek to congratulate me. Feel like osik, but I got a kiss. 😃😃😃

---

#024 I can’t tell her how I feel. She will never want me. I’m a wreck. Stay focus trooper, the day you will be able to walk and dress yourself alone, she’ll be gone. She doesn't love you, she’s your nurse. That’s it. I wouldn't choose myself either. I can’t even make jokes. Maybe they should have left me behind. That healing process is so slow. I fear I’ll only get worse from here. My time is so short, I don’t have a lot of it ahead. What if the day I’m ok, I'm just too old for anything? She will move on and find another poor soul to fix.

---

#025 Love beskar’gam. I look good in it, a cool skirt around my shebs and that spear. That will do it. Plus, I can hide everything I feel under the bucket like the good ol’ days.

---

#026 Sometimes, I think of something clever, then laugh at my own jokes. Then I forget the so-called joke and don’t remember why that was funny in the first place. I don’t care too much about looking like a crazy lad. I’m just sad to not have been able to share it and be the only one laughing.

---

#027 I can’t live like this. It’s not a life. What am I supposed to be?

---

#028 I don’t remember how but this is the BEST DAY of my life. She kissed me. A real. Lovers. Kiss. On my fierfek lips. Oyaaaaaa it feels sooooooo good. ☺️☺️

---

#029 The shab, Fi from yesterday, you drank 2 bottles of tihaar instead of water or had a funky dream? Won’t happen anytime soon…

---

#030 WASNT A DREAM. SHE KISSED ME AGAIN. KANDOSIIIIIIIIIII! ❤️❤️ I love you Parja. You are my cyar’ika. I need to remember that. Fi, my boy Fi, you have a girl. Read that again and again. This is not a drill. Parja is your GIRLFRIEND. I love you I love you I love you.

---

End

Fi-Core/Nocturius 5th of July 2024

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

[c2-eh]

Oh my god I'm so so sorry eva. It completely slipped my mind. I was going to follow up with what I wanted. I was trying to be dramatic. Girl (gn) I'm terribly sorry. But I was going to ask you to please give me your entire versainz thesis cause oh my god "after the battles comes the reward" was such an amazing fic. I was just going to ask you not to gatekeep your versainz brain and give me all the thoughts you had about them. I'm reading to read essays. The fic was amazing. The personalities were so contrasting to each other and at the end when Charles and max see each inherent and that whole moment was so guckin spectacular. I loved the whole thing. That's all I wanted to ask. Once again really sorry for leaving you hanging like that.

<3<3

i'm so so sorry anon for leaving you hanging like that, but i was not in the right place to answer and i wanted to answer this properly!! also don't apologize so much it's fineee!! :)) i should be the one apologizing because of how long this took 😭

okay so first of all thank you so much, i'm so happy you liked the fic!! <3 i have to put it under "keep reading" because i went kinda insane with it hehe

so my versainz thesis is partly reflected in the fic. i don't think it is appreciated enough how great their relationship is after all these years – even after all the "alleged" bullshit and toxic atmosphere that was going on in toro rosso (the toxic versainz was jos and sr, no one is changing my mind). they were each others' first teammates, they kinda eased into the whole f1 world together – young and eager and trying so so hard to beat each other because that is what you do, no? they tried to prove themselves (especially in the team that would get them to RBR) and still managed to be friends, to respect each other and that stayed with them till today. they both are sons of famous fathers so the expectations and pressure was even worse (from public? NO, from their own fathers) so that is another thing to bond on. why? one understood what the other was going through and he got why the mood was swinging here and there every day, and why the mood depend on if "he" was at the race.

another thing is that i am sure carlos was max' gay awakening (max wasn't carlos' because carlos was dense and way too convinced his dad is the god (iykwim)). they might not have been bestest of friends (they still kept their distance because they did not know having friends in this sport is ok), but you can see by every single of their interactions how much they respect each other. they have very contrasting personalities as well, which is so very compelling to me. as i portrayed it in my fic, max is all "no bullshit guy" when it comes to racing and he is not afraid to be blunt and tell how things are. all while carlos is calmer and more well spoken. if we combine them, it is perfect balance. i see max as the one that is overprotective - when he talked about how carlos felt in vegas 2023? that moment is integrated into my brain forever. on the other hand, carlos is the one that is calm, stands for what's right and protects his loved ones, but does it with more grace and peace. they just fit so well, because they are the definiton of thunder (but not really) vs calm (but also not really) (but for that we would need another convo lmao).

i just think these two are the definition of "right person at the very wrong time" because they understood each other (and still do), but the time was not right – too young, too soon, so much responsibility, distraction and so on... there are SO many things that speak so loudly about these two. like, they are not even "getting back together" trope, but "finding someone you loved again and it is finally a right time". also max is soft – soft and giggly but not many know it, but carlos does. and carlos loves it, which makes max even more soft.

the fact they started together and saw each other win – carlos even was right there (literally next to max, might i add) when max won his first wdc. the hug is so personal to me to this day. they just love each other, thank uuu

i would pay good money to have these two as teammates again to see the relationship and the dynamic and how it shifted now they are older and more experienced <3

so sorry it is so long actually haha, love u anon ! sequel to that versainz fic will come in the summer!

[lavendarlily]

ectoberhaunt day 6: tabletop @ectoberhaunt

due rent

words: 798

relationships: pitch pearl

read it on ao3

rent is due and danny can't afford it.

(based on an instagram post - linked at end of fic!)

Danny filtered through his money again. Then again. Then a third time, just to make sure. All his cash sat in from him, and it stared back with its reluctance to budge.

Still $600 short. 

He’d cut it close before in the past, but this time it was looking grim. There was a high probability Danny wouldn’t be coming out of this one. Shame gripped at him - he’d never let it get this bad before. What Danny would give for Clockwork to reverse time so he could prevent this. 

“Danny, it’s okay,” Phantom comforted from across the table with a soft smile, his tone gentle. Seeing Danny like this, frustrated and anxious, was difficult for him. He noticed every time Danny’s face scrunched up in agitation and his nostrils flared, or when his fingers tapped against the tabletop as he counted again and again; Phantom could literally feel the stress rolling off his human. He knew it was in Danny’s nature to never back down from a challenge, almost to a fault. But he had to face the facts. And Phantom couldn’t help but worry if this would come between them. 

Danny shook his head, only half listening, and took inventory of his non-monetary assets. There were things he could sell, but would it even be worth it? Would it be enough? Even if he made this payment, what about the next one? He placed his head in his hands. He just needed to think of a plan, he always had a plan. That’s how he and Phantom operated - he was the brains and Phantom was the brawn (not to say Phantom wasn’t smart - he absolutely was - they’d just accepted these roles in their day-to-day lives to make Danny feel better). But Phantom couldn’t help him with this.

“Danny…,” Phantom prodded again.

A glare was all he got in response. Then a sigh, and an apology. “Sorry. Just let me think.”

“Don’t stress so much about this. It’s not a big deal.”

“Easy for you to say!” Danny huffed, trying not to let his emotions take control, but it wasn’t easy. Phantom had much more patience with these things, handled obstacles with grace. Danny did not. 

Phantom didn’t let Danny’s anger bother him. “Why don’t we take a five minute break? I know how you get about these things. Best to let your mind take a breather.” 

Danny rubbed his temple and sighed. “This is just so embarrassing.” Losing any battle was a hard pill to swallow; he’d had his fair share of those back when he and Phantom were a single body, back when he was fighting ghosts every night. The stakes were different then, but it instilled an expectation in Danny that he was never allowed to accept defeat. 

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about love.”

The familiar pet name sent a tingle down Danny’s spine. He made eye contact with his partner, searching his face for any sign that Phantom’s words weren’t genuine. All he found were pure intentions. Of course he was honest, Phantom was never anything else. But Danny? He didn’t mind cheating every once in a while to get his way, and with Phantom calling him “love” like that…

An idea came to Danny.

“I don’t have enough money for rent,” he finally admitted. Phantom’s green eyes flared…

With excitement. 

Before the ghost could speak, Danny added, “But…there are other assets I can use.”

He stood and reached across the table, swatting aside the Monopoly board, pieces flying every which way, letting the game hit the ground with an underwhelming thud. Fake money flitted in the air like falling leaves. 

Phantom jumped from his seat. “Hey! I was about to win for the first time! Are you serious-”

The rest of Phantom’s words were lost to Danny’s mouth. The ghost momentarily forgot his anger as he moaned into his partner, the warmth of Danny’s lips bringing a similar heat to his chest. Danny had crawled onto the table where the game had previously been to reach his boyfriend, and began pulling Phantom closer, feeling up his torso, embracing him with warm hands that felt like fire against his chilled body. 

Danny briefly pulled away to whisper in his lover’s ear. “Do we have a deal?” 

Phantom smirked. “I think you’re still a little short,” he goaded. Danny raised his eyebrows and pulled off his t-shirt before rejoining their lips. Yeah, Danny never backed down from a challenge.   

“Oh my god guys, it’s fucking Monopoly!” Sam groaned from her side of the table. “Do we have to end every game night like this?”

“Let’s leave them to it. Again,” Tucker sighed, and followed Sam out of the apartment, tossing his friends an annoyed look. 

The two boys hardly noticed.

LINK TO POST

[myobsessionsspace]

This whole goddamn taekook vs jikook 💿🐎 is so exhausting. Honestly.

Was I a bit saddened when Jeongguk didn't mention Jimin? Yeah. But for the wrong reasons because my brain was hard wired into thinking "taekookers are gonna run a mile with it".

It's fucked up. But more importantly, it's not Jeongguk's fault - it's purely a me/army problem.

The fact that everyone in army has some kind of version of the members that's mostly fabricated, isn't something they can control.

They are most likely aware of all the hate they get online, especially if it gets really bad. That it gets really bad for Jimin a whole lot, from within army even, can't be unknown to them. But it's not on Jeongguk to change himself on the off-chance it's gonna reduce hate. Most likely that wouldn't work either. Tkkers, akgaes and Solos will hate on BTS every chance they get.

BTS are whole people, individuals that think differently and experience things differently. To reduce them down to their interactions with others is insanely harmful, but it has been normalised. From what I've seen, a lot of shippers (both taekookers and jikookers) reduce the maknae line to what they do and with whom. I did it too, when I immediately thought sadly about the letter when it's the first proper sign of life we've gotten from our golden maknae in ages.

So, as much as I'm f.e. looking forward to the travel show, I'd also advise shippers in particular to watch actual uncut ot7 content. ITS, BV, concerts and behind the scenes - there's a decade worth of videos. Yes, everyone believes in hybe having a narrative to push, so I don't expect people to actually do this honestly, but it might decode some of the army-internal brainwashing.

Hi lovely,

First of allllll

I’m here for what you are throwing down!

It’s not a THEM (the members) problem it’s an US problem.

How does it make sense that ‘fans’ be it solos, shippers, whatever, get mad when people we’ve never met talk about a member who they’ve ate, slept, breathed, played and worked with for 10+ years? How does it make sense to be angry over them interacting, touching, mentioning each other because of what the shippers will say? You damn right it’s exhausting😪.

⬆️An example 😓 They literally had phones in their faces from all sides and so many think pieces about their interactions VS ⬇️

I can’t point the finger without three pointing back at me, cos like you said I too have had moments when I’m like ‘those mf’s are gonna have a field day with this…’ as my first thought?! What’s wrong with me??? I get it when real OT7 say shippers & solos (when talking about those that actually are and not the ones they like to label to dismiss valid thoughts) ruin everything, cos as soon as content and good news drops there’s always gotta be some bullshit alongside it, from any subsection 😪

They HAVE to be aware but kudos to them, they keep it moving, they’re so strong to have millions of strangers on multiple platforms speaking on them like they know them, but still have so much love in their hearts to continue engaging because they know the some isn’t the all.

With every drama and battle online it actually deepens my love and awe of these regular guys, with talent hard worked for, still trying hard to show their goodness to their supporters, not throwing in the towel for their peace. They’re everything 😍

I’m glad people like you are making it your mission to not reduce them to their duos, ships and solo fandoms, but still supporting them as TALENTED INDIVIDUALS. I’m trying too💪. I want to be conscious in appreciating them for them, their talents, their individuality AND their bonds, ALL OF THEIR BONDS.

Obviously I bias some bonds more than others, it’s human nature🙈

We definitely need to keep pushing about original content, we need to keep pushing about original sources not just clips and cuts and edits, we definitely need to keep pushing about doing our googles!

We need to not close our eyes to the other interactions, it’s not scary! It helps us appreciate Jikook’s bond more and appreciate them as members, friends & brothers of the others.

Because no matter what people believe those 7 MEN love each other down.

It helps us be able to filter the bullshit when we do come across misinformation and defamation of character. It helps our confidence in knowing we’re stanning and supporting the right ones.

I’m super geeked for the show coming from Jikook too…whenever it comes 😩 Heck we’re starved, so I’ll start small, I’m desperate for a ‘keep warm, don’t catch a cold’ message from Jiminie even though he’s doing his best in keeping in contact, why are we so thirsty 😅

Thank you for writing in and speaking my heart! 😉

💜

[brown-little-robin]

1, 5, 18 :]

1: What is a scene that really got to you?

in the anime it's right before Mogami arc, there's this scene where Mob is supposed to exorcise a peaceful ghost family, and he doesn't want to do it so bad that he starts shaking. and that GETS me. the social pressure of the people who cant see the ghosts snapping at him. Reigen trying to be nonchalant, just wanting to get out of there and eat soba. Dimple trying to get the ghosts to go evil to give Mob an easier choice (sir??? can we talk about that???). and Mob in the center of it all, standing quite still, shaking. hhhhhh

this is Doesn't Express His Emotions And Rarely Does Things Of His Own Will kid. and he speaks up. he speaks up (quietly) (voice shaking) and says he doesn't think these ghosts have to be exorcised, in front of kids who can't see the ghosts and a master who claims the ghosts are too weak and inconsequential to see. Mob looks at those ghosts and he sees something like himself, invisible, peaceful, people just wanting to exist for a little while, and the "normal people" present are calling them creepy and demanding that he erase their existence. like. no wonder he's so shaken???

5: What battle shook you most?

I don't think I've mentioned this before, but the first time I tried watching mp100, when I was little, I fled the show on episode five (Teru fight) because I was so scared of ???%. I thought Mob was possessed. Looking back on my reaction... profoundly disturbs me. I literally demonized him. It's so easy to dehumanize people, especially people who behave abnormally in daily life (like Mob), when they're doing something scary. I had to become more mature—more familiar with mental illness and neurodivergence, and more intentionally gentle with myself and others—before I came back to mp100 and saw ???% as an aspect of a person, not as a Scary Thing. sorry, Shigeo.

The battle that shakes me the most now is the one against Touichirou Suzuki, because it's so complex and just a bit morally ambiguous. Mob goes from emotion to emotion so fast, and he's trying to put his resolution to use his powers to protect people into practice but he's not used to it yet! he's trying to accept being hard on people and he slips! he stumbles he enjoys it too much he despairs he twists Touichirou like a rag (EXACTLY WHAT MOGAMI DID TO MINORI'S BODY, BTW,,) and he nearly gives up and he can't find a way to "win"! it's!! !!!!! YIKES

18: What headcanons do you have for (character)?

feel free to give me a specific character if you want but!! here's a really specific headcanon for you

I think Teru enjoys horror movies because his nervous system doesn't know how to relax. literally. when you've been traumatized and on edge for a long time, relaxing starts to feel like being unsafe because if you relaxed in your former situation you were unsafe. so Teru is fleeing from relaxation; his mind HAS to be occupied at all times he HAS to be exercising his brain's "how do we strategize a way out of Dangerous Situation" capability all the time, otherwise he feels like he's Missing Something and Going To Die. watching horror is a way for him to safely put himself in a position of feeling like he's in danger again and allowing his brain to cycle its familiar pattern of fear -> creative planning under pressure -> feeling of power and safety again. critically, Teru is COMPLETELY UNAWARE that he is doing this. all he knows is that it feels nice to watch horror movies.

[howveryheather]

2024: the year of teeth

When I reflect back on 2024 in any capacity, I’ll always remember this was the year I got braces.

In an unexpected turn of events, though people who wear braces will probably not be too surprised to hear this, I’m wearing them well past the date I was initially quoted for removal. The experience has been harder on me than I’ve been wanting to admit. A lot of this has to do with how woefully underprepared I was for braces. If you think it happened in such a way that I got everything set on my teeth at the start of April with no real plan for how I would conduct my life afterwards, uh, you would be correct.

Here are the truths I've learned so far. I don’t like eating soft foods and pasta. I’m dealing with a substantial lowkey depression from not having salads or sandwiches in my diet. (Salads = lettuce stuck in the wires, croutons popping off the brackets. Sandwiches = foods you need to bite into which are off-limits.) I haven’t been able to travel anywhere hardly either. If a bracket pops off, I need to be able to rush back to the dentist to get it glued back on or else delay the process of how long I continue to wear braces. 

I also made the decision not to date this year. Some of this is for vanity reasons (a metal mouth literally needs to sit out dating when the competition is all blinding white veneers - do NOT put me in, coach).  Mostly though, it’s because of the general upkeep. At the start of wearing braces, I had a lot of ortho wax in my mouth. Braces, stray pieces of wax, and elastic bands?! I may be in my late thirties, but every day I inch closer to some delayed adolescent in band camp awkward phase I never lived through. Pass the clarinet so I can cover it in saliva, please.

The worst thing I heard — which I think was supposed to make me feel better, but it didn’t! — was one of the dental assistants at my dentist's office who told me she wore braces for six years. Six years. You think to yourself that could not possibly ever be me, but realize that it could if you justified the actions and the work invested for the reward. I would think that if you had braces on for three years, it would be a matter of your brain going “we’re 50% there, halfway point, just need to keep going!” Or perhaps that’s just how my brain rationalizes how to reach a goal.

Some nine months in, my teeth have straightened up significantly. I have time lapse photos on my phone and the difference is incredible. And I no longer get migraines. I’ve battled migraines for the better part of my adult life. This speaks so much to the correlation between dental health and physical health. My hope is once these braces are off, it means the hypothetical investment portfolio that is “me” will increase substantially. I have a personal theory that because I lack perfect, blinding white, straight teeth, the algorithms on dating apps and websites are downvoting my appearance. When my teeth look pretty, when my smile looks pretty, when I have the status symbol that is a retainer by the bathroom sink, I’ll feel confident again. My stock will go back up.

In addition to prioritizing my teeth, I’ve worked really, really hard in all my various writing roles this year. I have been crushing my quarterly goals and the Summer of Savings tentpole this summer, AKA almost four months of nonstop unbelievably hard work that paid off. I was recognized with an award at work, will attend a retreat next year (possibly with my braces still on at this rate…), and I was a guest on a podcast talking about writing in the shopping vertical. My freelance has been just as important to me. After years of being asked about it, we finally did a series on NBA mascots. I had a blast doing it! I want to cover another sports league in 2025.

Next year marks 10 years of PopIcon. Most, if not 100% of all current writers, journalists, and freelancers, know it is not the norm to have a decade-long column. I still remember the night I wrote my first article. I was living in West LA in an apartment that was less an apartment and more like a converted office building turned makeshift “apartment.” Five girl roommates all sharing one bathroom. Three bedrooms. Nobody had a bed. Everyone had a mattress on the floor and somehow, I managed to get my own bedroom. I lived off of Trader Joe’s wraps. I would go next door to the Coffee Bean and use their bathroom when ours was occupied (and it usually was!). I remember getting the email with the all-clear that we could begin, sitting down on my mattress on the floor, and typing. You've come a long way, baby. 10 years of a life spent in the company of brand mascots.

In 2024, I read a lot of books. More than 25! A return to form after a disturbing number of years passed where I wasn’t reading books at all. I spent time with my family and through the ups and downs of my father’s health, having the necessary conversations about where the cremation receipts are kept and where to retrieve the urns. I got my hair cut quite short (shoulder length), mourned its loss, and all of a sudden it grew back super fast. It’s almost halfway down my back again. I had several eye exams, got new glasses, and switched to a new brand of contact lenses. I got to see Hans Zimmer live when he announced a second show date in LA and went to the Family Guy 25th Anniversary where I laughed and listened as the cast read one of the scripts for an upcoming episode airing in 2025.

When I was preparing for my final 1:1 this month with my manager, she asked me to share a personal goal I have for next year. I thought for awhile on what to write and really hold myself accountable to. At the start of 2024, I had mentioned my goal for the year was to undergo a lot of dental work. I made good by that promise and the work is still ongoing so I used that as my jumping off point. 

Then I thought about all of the other goals and milestones I hope to achieve in my life. Every last one looks like a fuzzy question mark to me. Still! Nothing is more clear today than it was five, 10 years ago. Sometimes the longer I think about these things, the more I spiral out and start to feel like I have no personality. Or that I do have a personality but it’s so thoroughly buried under a facade of nonstop work to define me that I don’t even know what or who that girl is! 

Mostly, I think about all the steps involved that act as a means to the end of achieving my bigger personal goals. Creating a personal goal is one thing. How you get to the finish line is another.

It’s like wearing braces, which changed the way I treat my teeth. If I want to be successful with my dental goals, I need to put in the work. As much as I do not like soft foods, I ate and continue eating them to be mindful of my brackets and wires. But not all personal goals are designed like dental work where there’s a literal biweekly plan to follow to ensure success. Different goals are trickier because you can’t fully know the outcome like you can with teeth.

In the end, I determined an attainable goal to share. What I really want next year is to take a proper personal vacation. 

Several vacations, once my braces are off. And I don’t want these to be the same-old “go back to your parents’ house and return to your 16 year old personality in your childhood bedroom” trips either. Those are visits.

I’ve had a lot of days over the last few months where I’ve missed the good old days of traipsing about in a new-to-me city. When I travel, I don’t have the thought of “I could really move here, huh?” that most people do. It’s a getaway and a regional one at that, with its own customs and weather and sandwich shops. Instead, I like to focus on connecting with the sidewalk underneath my feet, the stars above my head, and my physical body, moving through this landscape. 

In 2025, I’d also like to try…

An intro class at Pure Barre.

Going on a weekend getaway where I ride on the Amtrak to my destination. 

Starting a Substack but also...

... Not necessarily busying myself with more random writing if it keeps pushing my real goals further and further out.

Dating with intention.

Buying a Halloween costume. (For clarity, because my birthday is so close to Halloween I’ve spent years financially prioritizing one over the other.)

Whatever martini or alcoholic drink is trending next year.

Seeing a show at a new-to-me venue.

There's a container full of grapes in my fridge right now, waiting for the midnight hour to arrive. See you real soon, 2025.