#it's fine nobody cares
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I feel like my body has given up completely
#my diary#too bad I've accepted all medical professionals are unsafe for me to be around#and I'm at the point where I can't rot anymore cuz I have stuff to deal with but I just#am physically unable to even get out of bed before 3pm#it's fine nobody cares#my mom said something about my dad the other day#'he was suicidal just not in any hurry'#that's kind of how I feel right now#too exhausted and burnt out to even properly kill myself
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ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story
#you know. the one with the pendulum#'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this'#'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!'#'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you'#like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine#it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences.#but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification#and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs#when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck.#you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck.#and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters!#and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that#anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately#it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel#which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about.#but we'll have to do our best with what we have#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#aroace#talking#aspec#asexual#asexuality
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andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:
“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”
#pr manager is like: andrew… this is the last time i’m gonna tell you#andrew: whats the point of democracy if i can’t exercise freedom of speech#pr manager: andrew it’s no longer about your image#at this point we are concerned the fbi is going to show up#andrew: neil has connections. i’m fine#they thought marketing andrew on social media would be good#they were sooooo wrong#because now andrew has a place to share every insane thing he’s ever thought#for instance—a tweet that just says ‘an alien googling: human clothes’#he’s on there advocating for lgbtq+ youth you KNOW HE IS#he’s cursing and mildly threatening members of congress for imposing these disgusting bills#one day he tweeted ‘does mitch mcconnell know he’s dead yet’#when mitch mcconnell stepped down from senate andrew tweeted ‘hopefully next he steps down from life’#unsurprisingly: this endears him to some people and makes others fucking hate him#and he’s such a shit. he does not care either way#he’s kind of just like: pr manager. you gave me a twitter and told me to tweet. i’m just doing what you asked me#they’ve threatened to change his password so many times#they actually did once but andrew reported the account so many times for defamation and fraud that it got suspended#and he made a new account out of pure spite#his pr manager is like: andrew nobody is going to want to sign you because of your public image#and andrew is like: ?? ok. they can lose every game then#(he knows he’s the best goalie)#ok i think that’s enough for now. however i will probably be back#andrew minyard#aftg#tfc#trk#tkm#the foxhole court#all for the game
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like if it hadn't been for the amount of teammate solidarity from landoscar today even I wouldn't have bothered to notice this buttt
I zoomed in on Oscar from this video of the cool down room bc I'd assumed like the caption that Oscar was giggling too but !!
mans looked pissed and didn't laugh with Carlos and George at all until George said "ahhh we shouldn't laugh" and at that point he does a smile but it slips off pretty fast and he does that little huff and goes back to being tired
like the earnest and loyal young teammate who's also gradually becoming friend to Lando, puffing up in outrage on his behalf
vs the older brothers/longtime friends to Lando who have a chuckle over that moment the same way he does with them when he's in their position
idk it's just so unbearably cute how Oscar's loyalty to Lando and him wanting to join in with the big boys play out but the loyalty to Lando winning just like how he chose not to hold his own trophy the way he and Lando usually do in the post race video bc that would be rubbing it in too much ;__;
#landoscar#and pls NOBODY think this is saying that george and carlos were being harsh bc they were NOT#lando's exactly the same way with them#this is how brothers are#but oscar isn't brotherly w lando he's spent the entirety of his time in england and pursuing racing seriously as a lando fanboy#was so careful of wanting his relationship w lando to be good that he went too shy and too careful and cautious#lando's other grid friends are the types who know they can take a lot for granted and it'll be fine and humor is a love language#for oscar being lando's friend is something to think about a lot ! and be considerate of ! and it's so !!!#mine#austrian gp 2024#cool down room
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Crazy how in the end Maki got more support and therapy from a random ancient sumo wrestler for killing her abusive family and having her sister sacrifice herself for her than her actual friends. Fans are talking about how nobody brings up Gojo's death, but the Zenin massacre and how it clearly traumatized Maki is never brought up by anyone either except Momo and Noritoshi.
#applies to everything honestly#Yuuji is just fine and dandy now who cares about all the previous trauma and loss#Nobara just shook off Mahito's attack and a coma like it was nothing#nobody is concerned about Higuruma's suicidality#it's all just Not A Problem anymore it's fine really we're moving on because we only have one chapter left#jujutsu kaisen#jjk spoilers#maki
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Something so funny to me about the fact that for some reason Wonder Woman isn't here, but Superman and Green Lantern are (and Aquaman but at least he has more reason to be here). Also the way that Superman looks like he is pointing at Robin (because he and Batman are co-parenting) and Green Lantern is in-between Kid Flash and Speedy (because he's their honorary uncle) is very fun to me!
#justice league#teen titans#robin#kid flash#wonder girl#speedy#dick grayson#donna troy#wally west#roy harper#batman#superman#flash#green arrow#aquaman#green lantern#mypost#dc thoughts#what are the reasons for diana not being here?#she doesn't care that a man has just died really donna's not in any real trouble because she doesn't care?#she doesn't think scolding and blaming is the right course of action?#she doesn't agree with the punishment that they will be given?#who knows?#nobody's actually looking at donna it's tripping me up#girly you're fine /hj
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HANGMAN PAGE BIRTHDAY WEEK
Day 2: Favorite Promo
This Sunday, Jon, I take everything away…from you. I take your spot at the top of the food chain here. I take away your pride in Blood and Violence when at the end of the throes of war, I - not you, I - am the man left standing. And you’re right, I’m not the same kind of animal as you. I don’t enjoy violence; I hate it. I hate it to its core. But this Sunday, I will be the most violent and bloodthirsty son of a bitch that you’ve ever seen, not in spite of that, but because of it - because that is who I know I will have to be to beat you, and beating you is the last glimmer of hope that I do have here, Jon. This…is Texas Death. And there’s only two ways out - either you live, or you die. And I ain’t done livin’. Jon, after Sunday, you…you will never be the same.
#hangmanpagebirthdayweek#hangman adam page#aewedit#hangman page#adam page#aew#*#gifs#nobody cares about this one as much as i do#it's fine#so many of his promos have spectacular line delivery but i love how soft this one was#pretty much any hangman promo is my favorite hangman promo but this one is the one i go back to constantly....i know it by heart skjdgfhsjd#day 2: favorite promo
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Bang Chan doing the Ride the Vibe Challenge with Haru and Tomoya of NEXZ!
#bang chan#tomoya#haru#stray kids#skz#nexz#christopher bang#christopher bahng#uemura tomoya#inoue haru#FOR MEEEEEEEEEEE#nobody else will care about this but thats fine. they did it for ME#god i WON
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I just remembered I can do whatever the fuck i want forever and ever. here's a bunch of miscellaneous drawings or whatever.
these two are just my general hc that when Ingo gets eeby deebied, Emmet takes over the singles line as well on alternating days and wears one of Ingos bajillion coats on single line days.
these three are from the other night of talking with my boytoy. we were talking about how Ingo and Emmet can probably perfectly(to untrained ears) imitate train horns and whistles. then we were talking about Ingo and his Big Feelings at a wedding and how he'd be sobbing in the corner the whole time. I like gogo a lot and his sobbing train noises
boytoy ate raw spaghetti. was bemmet type behavior. plus the starer.
the last two are because I think for the years Ingo is gone Emmet has been stretching himself thin running the station trying to juggle what both he and his brother would be doing and it leaves him EXGHAUSTED. When Ingo comes back and gets into the groove of things and he's able to even slightly relax, it hits him like a truck and he finds himself genuinely incapable of doing the tasks he needs to do. Gear Station is surprisingly more hectic for the first handful of weeks Ingo is back because Emmet isn't doing his duties. neat to me.
full doodle page btw.
#if you saw this in the sbms server. no you didn't. act surprised.#spenx lou art#lou is an artist#scratches my head. uhmmm. what else can I say#! the other notes about their train mimicry. Emmet can technically do them more correctly than Ingo. though nobody notices bc they r autisi#Ingo can do a perfect chugga chugga though. He also sounds exactly like a train when he's asleep. even better than emmet. only sleeping tho#emmet's breathing when he's asleep also sounds like chugga chugging. they are a train when asleep#they also have their own train calls. It's eachother names. Emmet's name has a harsher stop at the end and Ingo's has a hitch in it#sometimes if they find other people in the tunnels at night they terrorize people by making “ghost trains” where they just make train noise#they also did this when they were younger before they started working there. leading to rumors of it being haunted#I don't even like Ingo and Emmet I don't even care. can someone run them over#submas#subway boss ingo#subway boss emmet#subway bosses#subway master emmet#subway master ingo#ingo and emmet#subway master kudari#subway master nobori#whatever. who even care. tags are fine#man. I should really try finishing drawings sometime actually. I don't think I've finished something since like. last year. o1 wild#also hiii hi boytoy I know you'll see this. hiiiii pookiepie
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I legitimately have sooooooo many fewer weird guilt and scrupulosity issues around fiction than I used to and yet still, every time I write something that touches on a vaguely sensitive topic, my brain is like "They are going to send you to BOOK JAIL for your CRIMES against fictional characters!!!" and I have to sit there going come on man . . . chill . . .
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I'm probably not the first to admit this but goddamn was I a narcissistic prick when I wasn't on stimulants
#adhd#not art#like this only thing I could think about was how understimulated I was#every person was boring because I was in such a severe and chronic state of dopamine deficiency#so I wasn't interested or curious about ANYONE and nobody could 'satiate me' and I deemed everyone boring because of it#then the first week on my meds & I went to visit my neighbor#& I was like 'omg your granddaughter came to visit this weekend? how was she? :)'#and then after I went home and I was like wow she's so sweet and her life seems so interesting I cant wait to talk more about it#and then it hit me I had known her for YEARS and it wasn't until now that I.. cared :(#made me feel really bad but also glad that I actually have the capacity to care and it wasn't just my personality#I had to do a lot of damage control :T but some bridges were burned and I gotta live with that#now I can proudly proclaim that no im not a narcissist bc I think people are interesting and I wanna hear them talk#i can just sit and listen and internalizing their perspective ..#for once I like people and I'm not a victim in some imaginary fight for mediocrity with everyone else#it never excited and im happy to feel that way#also whenever I speak with unmedicated adhders I just look at them like wow you don't even know how much your brain is making itself suffer#every adhder may not want to or can take meds and that's fine but everyone at least deserves to know what it feels when they work
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Constant visitor
#clemart#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#macthinker#uhhhummmmnunmnFINE FINE character tag#Prethinker#brian ttcc#Mac Opsys#winns also there under the cut#whatever. swapped. who cares. i dont.#my originally plan was to draw a bunch of bug brians and then that evil mac 128k suddenly appeared on my canvas and . whatevr. WHATEVR#dialogue might be weird . idk i didnt plan it out ahead of time. nobody but me cares if its ooc#i think its funny ive drawn them more as only-one-of-them-swapped rather than both of them swapped#shrugs my shoulders. runs away.
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i feel like chloe and max having relationship problems makes a LOT of sense considering everything the two of them went through, and max sacrificing arcadia bay would 100% be a huge one of them. especially considering chloe lost her mother to that. it’s a decision max made to save her, but regardless. all of their troubles r incredibly realistic but you lost me at chloe dumping her for VICTORIA CHASE. like?????? it’s like they completely forgot every single aspect of what makes chloe chloe. yes they would be rocky but she would fight for her, just like how she fought for her hope and love of rachel still being out there. like. she is incredibly loyal and not once in the original games did she even fuck with victoria. i’m less mad about them breaking up and more mad abt the character assassination of chloe
#life is strange double exposure#life is strange spoilers#life is strange de#chloe price#max claufield#pricefield#lis#life is strange#amberprice#i feel like the entire reason they do this is that with every new lis game there is a new relationship introduced/new love interest#and that’s the format they’re used to#but nobody was asking for that. nobody wanted that#the entire reason most people were excited to see this game was because of chloe and max#and getting to see them happy together in the future like we’d been teased with on other games#idk i feel like throwing away this relationship and not really giving a clear reason why just so you can introduce new romance plots#is a quick road downhill#this is not me saying you need to stick with someone you’re having relationship problems with if you’re a loyal person. in general.#to anyone who might read too much into this#i’m just saying it doesn’t make sense to me with the characters. and if you like this choice that’s fine i really don’t care THAT much
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Day 22: Nightlight
Y'all know that one Youtooz Sun nightlight? Yeah Sun gave one to Dr. Rabbit cause he kept working in the dark and straining his eyes
#my art#chipillustrates#fnaf#fnaf fanart#five nights at freddy's#fnaf security breach#fnaf gregory#five nights at freddy's fanart#fnaf dr rabbit#fnaf ggy#fnaf glamrock freddy#fnaf sundrop#fnaftober#fnaftober 2023#miiilowo fnaftober#I'm not home rn so I had to draw this one quick but it turned out fine<3#I'll take any excuse to show off the Daycare Attendant being like Dr. Rabbits caretaker cause god damn it nobody else takes care of him not#even himself#and the DA just will not let that slide- corrupted or not they've gotta take care of the kids
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20/10 stars little guy
#me (scrounging undetected autist whose ideal fashion sense is ''if i have to be seen at all: shrouded'') seeing encanto the other month.....#and on top of it all i LOVE slice of life. encanto being so focused on What It's About that there's so much of that + character / dynamic#also part of what i loved abt pixar luca. ppl like ''simple story but not a problem :)'' like YEAH thank god it's Also so slice of lifey#2021 what a year lol. though again i only Just saw encanto....tfw Studio Creative Control backs off a bit more than usual: Joy & Wonders#anyway i knew going in bruno wasn't an antagonist (fine if he was though b/c slay & b/c scapegoats can do whatever they want)#knew i'd love him b/c again Scapegoat shows up & i'm the Amazing Showstopping Totally Unique Never The Same gif on loop#but what a delight even beyond those expectations lol. love again how Focused the movie is on What It's About & Thee Points it makes#the Characters / Dynamics & the Metaphor & the plot stays right with all of that. the focus & importance re: thee scapegoats....#& bruno being disabled like whole layer of Yay Yay Yay spamming. that even when He's Back we're reminded he's not ''normal now'' or w/e#(i.e. presenting that as The Good Ending for the disabled outcast. vs just being embraced as part of the group again & accepted As He Is)#meanwhile was like hmm chat is there queercoding do we think? like is he queer: Yes. but is there coding? hmm#sure isn't cishet coded though. but i was also having the thought like fellas is it gay to [higher tenor tessitura or w/e] lol#made me go ''do i know this voice? ok do i know this name / face / actor? (i have never seen anything ever / bad w/names/faces/voices)''#indeed was like yeah haven't seen this; heard of this; seen it once ages ago no way i remember more than like 0.6 details#then from ''ohh haha I'm A Mammal That Cares....yeah i hear that'' to ''omg CHI-CHI RODRIGUEZ???? ;;0;;'' waaah fantastic revelation lmao#also the way Literal Future Seer ability was externalized to make it more wrangleable for plot is so impressive & fun & excellent#got a lot of [i like this thing i saw a lot] i got to say....guess i can do that w/the sideblog i made for one drawing i made last night#encanto 2021#bruno madrigal#also the way bruno is so Nervous + Hiding / Bold + Big Personality like yes ha ha ha Yes....tamped down as ''too much'' experience#also the [stuttering stumbling muttering mumbling] line: i fr nigh wept upon going back over a moment like what am i hearing here?#& realizing the answer was: it's bruno quietly stuttering a moment during this one line (& then (& then (& then)) i saw you) ;;;mm;;;#hang onnn....the first scapegoat who's driven off being Disabled is so real so ;m; that again they're like so he got Weirder; Okay ;;m;;#that we get jorge thumbs up nobody having an Aside to be like [ugh; this guy] or Anything. augh always have too much to say for 30 tags#fabric drape there sure not accurate but i was like okay if i try to really reference that i'm not getting this done tonight
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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