#it's even encouraged by psychologists in a lot of cases!

[plushie-lovey]

Just wanted to warn you that there’s a really triggering agere hating blog currently around, the name is waddlingstufful

Nooo why do they have to have stufful in their url, not my baby 😭😭

Tysm for the warning, nonny. I tried to look into the blog to see what was up, and couldn't find it. Although I did find posts about this person to be able to conclude that you were in fact right about them

However it seems they might still be on the loose under a different url now. If anybody happens to figure out what they changed it to, please let me know!!

[sweetiecutie]

🖤Fuck or Die part 2🖤

Part 1

Pairing: slasher! König x fem! Reader

Warnings: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, mdni, smut, non con so rape, violence, obsession, drugging, face-slapping and nose bleeding, choking, kidnapping, mention of murder. If you feel triggered by any of these warnings - just scroll past!

A/n: this took me way longer than I expected but yay, I finally wrote the second part!!! Also absolutely not me incorporating a quote from the movie bc I think it’s impossibly hot🤭

Reading part 1 is recommended for understanding the plot

Your life will never be the same. That damned evening changed you, everything around you, splitting your life into before and after.

Your memories of next few days after the murder were a sheer blur of events and conversations - numerous interrogations with police officers and detectives, psychologists trying to soothe you out of your stupor still, your mother crying her eyes out at the sight of you right after police arrived at the place of Paul’s death. And, of course, nasty journalists trailing behind you, watching your every move, invading your personal space unapologetically.

Of course, you were quite a catch - the first and only one who ever survived a meeting with König. Everyone wanted to know what he looked like - any particular details, scars or tattoos, a fucking skin colour - anything you could remember would be of huge use, giving at least any clues to a dead unmoving case. But there was very little you could help with - König took great care of covering every centimetre of his skin in black clothing, his voice changed, he smelled of nothing but earth and sickening metal of your boyfriend’s blood. Bastard was even smart enough to not cum inside nor anywhere actually, so that police couldn’t get his DNA samples.

A few months had passed since that horrific attack and there were still no traces of König.

It was midday when your parents had to leave to attend your grandma’s birthday - your mother was reluctant, not wanting to leave you all alone. You were never alone actually - a few police cars always patrolled right outside of your house, not allowing even postmen to get too close to your family’s property. It took a lot of reassuring and encouragement from your side to get your mother off your back, convincing her that you’ll be just fine by yourself and that you want your parents to have some fun. She then gave up with a deep sight, promising to be back in only a few hour’s matter.

You heaved a heavy sigh, closing and locking the front door after waving your parents goodbye, heading to the kitchen to grab yourself a drink. A pile of dirty dishes stacked in a sink caught your eye, the sight of its ugly mess on otherwise clean and tidy kitchen caused an itch somewhere deep in your brain. Without second thought you rolled up your sleeves, pouring dish soap onto the sponge and foaming it up.

As you were halfway through the dishes loud trilling of your landline phone calling startled you, causing you to jump on your spot. Your head whipped around, looking into direction from which the sound came. Wiping your wet hands on the kitchen towel you grabbed the phone, tucking it in between your ear and shoulder after accepting the incoming call.

- Hello? - you said, coming back to the sink, swiping foamy sponge over another plate, cleaning it of any grease and leftover bits of food.

- Hello! Um, can I speak to Paul? - your movements halted abruptly. You stood there silently for a long while, muscles stiff and unmoving, eyes staring blankly at some invisible point in the space before you.

- Excuse me, are you still here? Do I have the wrong number? - the man on the other end of the line said, his voice sounding concerned. It seemed to bring you out of your stupor as you drew in a long breath, exhaling noisily.

- Um, can I ask you how you got this number? - you said, already sensing something weird about this whole situation. But cops were all around your place, there was nothing to be worried about, right?

- Paul gave it to me himself. Said to call here if I needed to reach out to him, - man explained. That was strange but not unexplainable - Paul often hang out at your house, you wouldn’t be surprised if he knew your home phone number better than his own. - So am I calling right?

- Oh, yeah, sorry it’s just… Paul’s dead, - you said, teeth sinking into the inside of your cheek, sweet metallic taste coating your buds, but you couldn’t care less, nibbling deeper into small wound, feeling of slight pain grounding you successfully.

- Oh god, what happened? I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. But who am I speaking to then? - the man said, his voice now sounding genuine and apologetic. Everyone around Y/n suddenly sounded genuinely and apologetic. She heaved another sigh, resuming her scrubbing on the plates.

- He was murdered. And I’m his girlfriend, - you said in a calm tone, free of any emotion or feeling. Paul’s death was pretty much the only thing you talked about with others - police, detectives, police again, his parents and friends, your parents and friends. It seemed like such a sensitive topic turned into a rough callous way too quickly. - Well, I was his girlfriend, - Y/n mumbled after a short pause, faint clatter of porcelain audible in the background.

- Sorry about your boyfriend, - man on the line said. There was a brief moment before he added: - all those muscles didn’t help much, did they?

You froze. Silence settled in, interrupted only by occasional electric noise humming through the speaker. You heard your own pulse humping rapidly in your ears, your breathing fast and shallow, all muscles in your body tensing in alarm, straightening your back. Your eyes shoot up, looking out of the window above the sink. There were a few trees growing shallowly - barely an orchard - separating your house from your neighbours. No one was there.

- What’s that, sweet girl? You can’t see me? - a voice taunted, erupting herds of goosebumps running down your spine. - What a shame, I can see you clear as day.

- Neighbourhood is packed full with cops, you sick son of a bitch. If you only fucking dare coming anywhere close to my ho-

- Now-now, Y/n, - slasher interrupted you unapologetically, his voice hard and cold, causing thin hairs on your arms to rise. - Control your fucking language when you speak to me.

Your eyes dropped down onto the sink, fluffy dish soap foam was sparkling, playing with all the rainbow colors under the sun rays pouring in through the window. You clasped the phone in your non dominant hand, your dominant one reaching out and grabbing a kitchen knife from the drying rack, handle still wet and a bit slippery in your grasp.

- My, my, a dangerous thing that you’re holding. Be careful and don’t cut yourself, dearie, - König taunted, making your teeth clench. All blood drained out of your face, making you as pale as paper. Your eyes were fixated upon your window, peering into the orchard, desperately trying to spot any movement.

- What are you planning on doing? Everyone will hear if I scream. And cops will get your ass into prison, right where it belongs, - you spat out, pushing off the counter; your eyes ran all around the kitchen, looking for your cell phone with detective’s number saved, trying to keep the current call going so it’ll be possible to track it down.

- Oh will they? Then you better not scream, silly, - König snorted, making your blood boil. You were frightened still, terrified even; but the remorse of what he did to you, to Paul, was fuelling into your spite, making you a tad bit braver.

Failing to find your phone you entered the living room, rummaging through cushions and blankets piled on the couch, failing to find the stupid thing.

- Looks like you lost something. What’s up sweetheart? - you threw soft cushion back on the couch violently, huffing in annoyance upon not finding what you were looking for. You straightened and turned around to head to your bedroom, stoping in the middle of your tracks, freezing to the spot.

In the doorway leading to the hall stood König - dressed in all black, with heavy leather boots and his huge dagger strapped firmly to his thigh with a sheath, white scream mask staring right back at you. One large hand was pressing the phone to his ear, the other one was holding up your cellphone - the exact one you were looking for.

- You looking for this? - he asked, his own voice reverberating on the line because of your proximity.

You threw the phone to the side clutching onto the knife tightly. You dashed to the kitchen - there was a back door you could slip through - and outside was filled with neighbours and cops. Just pathetic six or so meters. Just a bit…

A scream tearing through your throat was muffled by a huge hand clamping against your mouth, the other one squeezing your wrist so tightly that for a fleeting moment you thought your bones were snapped, causing your grip on the knife to loosen, it falling down on the floor with loud clatter. König kicked the knife away across the kitchen, folding your arm back which caused your back to arch in pain - it felt as if he wanted to tear your limb from the rest of your body.

- Where do you think you’re going, Y/n? - König growled next to your ear, picking you up effortlessly and dragging your kicking form back to the living room.

Hauling you onto the floor König hooked one meaty thigh over your squirming body, putting bigger part on his weight down onto you, momentarily halting all of your struggle. One huge hand took ahold of both your wrists, pinning them to the floor above your head with frightening ease, his other hand was clasping your mouth still. He crouched down, scream mask was mere fifteen centimetres afar from your face as he seethed:

- Now you shut the fuck up and listen closely to what I have to say, and no one will get hurt, you get that? - he said, waiting until you gave him any sing of agreement. But you offered none. - You get that?! - König growled impatiently, bumping your head against the hardwood floor, causing black spots dance in the corners of your eyes for a long minute. You gave a weak nod, feeling hot tears running down your temples, getting lost among your hair.

- I’ve been thinking about you. A lot, - König sighed, hand that was on your face squished your cheeks together painfully, making your lips pucker out. - About this gorgeous mouth and pretty lips…

König crouched down, barely leaving a few centimetres between your faces.

- A this tight little cunt of yours. Remember how you clenched around me? How good my cock was filling you up?

- What do you want from me? - you weeped quietly, voice barely audible, broken by faint sobs and hiccups.

- Very little, dove. Just be an obedient girl and do as you’re told and no one will get hurt, - König tutted, taking in the sight of your crying face. Gosh, he was a sick fuck - his cock was already getting painfully hard, straining against his pants.

Letting go of your face König reached behind his back, withdrawing something from the rear pocket of his jeans. Just as you opened your mouth to cry out for help he shoved that thing inside of your cavity, slapping a hand over your lips so you won’t spit it out. The thing momentarily dissolved on your tongue, leaving a bitter aftertaste; you tried to struggle against killer’s strong hold, thrashing violently, but it led you nowhere.

Suddenly you felt hot - as if you had a really bad fever. Your mind clouding up rapidly, thoughts muddling, muscles becoming weaker by the second. You huffed out in frustration; moving your limbs a few centimetres seemed like impossible labour. World was spinning around you, blurring sharp and distinguishable features of König’s mask into a white haze.

König let go of your face once again, his now free hand slid down your body, cupping your sex through numerous layers of clothing separating you two. Sudden pleasure surged through your weakened body upon the contact; a loud moan that rolled off your tongue startled you - and suddenly you realised just how aroused you felt.

- Jeez, that dude didn’t lie about this shit, - König laughed out excitedly, watching your eyes widen in terror. You could barely move by now, not speaking of trying to fight off a man twice your size. His size. In a blur of all events, words and pain you never came back to just how fucking huge he was. You never mentioned that in any of your interrogations. How fucking stupid, huh?

Killer let go of your wrists cautiously, watching you closely - you rose your hands, resting your palms on his chest and pushing with all the might you had left, but it wasn’t enough to even push a cat off the chair - so that was the limit of your strength in this state?

König barked out another laugh - he was going to have so much fun with you! His hand never stopped massaging your crotch, noting a small wet patch forming on your shorts - you were soaked through your panties and now soaking your shorts? Gosh, he better buy a few dozens of these aids. Psycho’s eyes shot up to your face upon hearing a sob - tears ran down your eyes like small diamonds, turning your eyelids a pretty shade of red. König shifted forth so that his mask was almost touching your nose:

- Oh baby, I’ll be much gentler with you this time, I promise, - König cooed, pressing cold plastic of his mask against your flushed wet cheek, as if giving you a comforting peck.

Slasher shifted a bit, changing his position from sitting on your thighs to being in between them, yanking you towards him by your knees. He did quick job of taking your shorts and underwear off in few fluid moves, impatiently discarding them somewhere to the side. König felt his heavy cock twitch inside his jeans at the sight of your puffy cunny, all shiny from slick that practically oozed out of your fluttering hole. He swallowed hard, saliva was practically pooling in his mouth, having to restrain himself from tearing his mask off and devouring your cunt, exposing his face too early. You whined out something unintelligible, still trying to pry his fingers off one of your knees.

Your skin felt hot even through thick fabric of his gloves, so when König took one off and plunged two of his thick fingers inside of your tight hole he was surprised at how hot it was inside of you - one of the drug’s effects, he guessed. You couldn’t help but mewl at the pleasant feeling, your brain barely functioning, controlling yourself was beyond hard.

- That’s it, sweetness. Lemme hear all the pretty sounds you make, - König encouraged, plunging his fingers in and out of you, increasing the pace. Rough thumb coming to circle your slicked clit, causing your whole body to jolt softly. Scent of your pooling arousal was strong and prominent, seeping even through König’s mask, making him throb in his pants.

He couldn’t wait any longer. König was dreaming about your pussy being spread around his cock since that first night, he needed to be inside or else he’ll lose the remnants of his mind. Slasher slipped his fingers out of you, quickly undoing his pants, sliding them down as much as knife holster on his thigh would allow. Your breathing increased as you tried to close your legs, man’s bulky form making it impossible for you to do so.

- No, no please.. not again, - you begged, tears rushing down your temples, your voice meek and barely audible, so König just ignored it.

Pulling his girthy cock out König pumped it a few times with gloved hand, aligning pink swollen tip with your leaking entrance. It one smooth movement he bottomed out half of his impressive length, your body - flushed and pliant - taking him inside without any resistance. Low groan rumbled through his broad chest; König’s head fell backwards, hands gripping soft fat of your thighs, leaving pale marks of his fingertips on your skin.

You hated every second of it. Hated how his hips collided with yours with every thrust, how you felt him throb and twitch inside of you; hated how his hands wandered up and down your sides, rubbing your waist and palming your tits. And you hated how fucking good it felt. Hated how your body, despite all your attempts to resist, to fight off the effects of the drug, gave into the pleasure.

- That’s it baby. Just take what I give you, - König breathed out, his words slurred with pleasure. - See? See how good it can feel when you shut the fuck up and do what I tell you to? Just be a obedient little girl and feel good, I’ll take care of everything else yeah?

It felt as if a ball of bile got stuck in your throat; your face scrunched up in disgust as much as your jelly muscles allowed it:

- Fuck you, - you barely managed to choke out, your tongue struggling to form right sounds.

For a few moments you were sure König didn’t hear you, given the lack of any reaction nor acknowledgement of your words. But the next thing you knew was searing pain in your left cheek, the impact of man’s wide palm with your face jolted your head to the side, sudden change of its position made you felt dizzy. Now world was spinning around you even more so, you felt something warm trickling down your cheek - blood from your nose, you figured. Killer’s fingers roughly gripped your chin, yanking it back so that you were facing him once again.

- You wanna say that again bitch? Come on, I fucking dare you, - he spat out, movements of his hips halting completely, leaving his cock buried deep inside of your rippling warmth.

Your head shifting so harshly once again made you nauseous; you could barely see anything, dark purple circles were dancing all around, changing their shapes and giving way to greens and yellows to flood your vision.

- That’s what I fucking thought, - König gritted out. His hand let go of your chin, coming lower to wrap strong fingers around your neck. His hips started working with even more vigour, forcing his dick in and out of your drugged cunt on the pace that was almost inhuman.

Firm clasp of maniac’s hand around your neck made it nearly impossible to breathe. Both your hands wrapped around his mighty wrist, too weak to actually get him off you. Your vision started to darken rapidly, white noise trilling in your ears, barely allowing any other sounds to filter through.

- From the very moment I laid my eyes on you I fucking owned you. And I own you right now, and forever will. This is my fucking cunt, and I’ll use it whenever I want to. And I need you to fucking. learn. it. - König growled out, emphasising each of his last words with hard deep thrusts of his hips against yours, his cock making your stomach bulge, surely bruising your cervix.

- Oh but I’ll train you. Mould you into my personal cocksleeve, ready to be used whenever I feel like it, - his pace was quickening, thick cotton of his denim pants muffled filthy sounds of his mighty hips snapping against your ass. The grip of strong fingers never eased; König shifted part of his weight onto his hands which were wrapped around your neck, white mask hovering right in front of your face - milky white of it was a harsh contrast to blackness pooling in the corners of your eyes.

With that your conscience started to slip away. You felt your body jolt with every ferocious thrust of man’s hips, his cock buried deep inside of you, bruising your insides with its persistent bullying. Acute lack of oxygen burnt your lungs, and you prayed to all gods that König held your neck a tad bit too long - just enough for you to not wake up the next time. And just before you slipped into heavy delirium, your mushed up brain picked up König’s growl, penetrating through thick noise humming in your ears:

- You’re mine. Forever and ever.

Street was filled with all kinds of noise - sirens from police cars were going off triggering dogs from nearby houses, neighbours were crowding a bit afar, frowning and shaking their heads, everyone having their own theory of what happened. Loud cries of Y/n’s mother shook the air, putting everyone further on the edge. She is such a sweet girl, she’s never done anything bad! Oh god, why is this happening to her of all people?!

Some people were saying that the girl simply snapped, breaking under the pressure of events and finally fleeting the country without telling anyone to not give any clues about her whereabouts to the killer. Some said she just went out to unwind from being constantly watched by police and have some alone time - she’ll show up anytime soon. But everyone knew that it was one of murderer’s deeds - he did something to her. And everyone knew, deep down, that they’ll never see Y/n again - alive, at least.

A young lanky policemen, obviously green and not experienced in his job, was babbling out his report to the superior, all the other cops that were patrolling with him as well stood around silently, too scared to pipe in.

- Sir, I swear we were patrolling the area all this time, there was literally no one but the neighbours, but they were staying at their pro-

- Then you were not doing it well enough! - city commissioner barked out, his mighty vice silencing everyone around for a short moment. His face was red, fuming with rage; nostrils flaring with intensity of his heavy breathing, angry vein popped up on his temple, pulsating in tandem with his rapid heartbeat. His heavy gaze shifted between all the poor officers, their faces pale as chalk.

- You had one fucking job. ONE fucking job - to keep the girl in the sightline - and where is she now, huh? I’m asking you motherfuckers - where is Y/n?! - Mr. Lindner barked out, his heavy voice making everyone jolt. Younger officers stared down on their shoes blankly, not daring to meet eyes with their boss.

- You may consider yourselves lucky if you’ll still have your licences by the end of the week, - commissioner Lindner tsked, spitting onto the ground in remorse. Turning around, he headed to his police issued car, shouldering all those nosy ones who were brave enough to approach him in this state. Getting inside Mr. Lindner closed the door with a loud bang, starting the engine and pulling out of the driveway onto the main road.

Commissioner Lindner drove in full silence, blue eyes fixated on the road ahead; it was barely past midnight, but the darkness hung thick all around, being slit by two yellow rays of his car’s headlights. He gripped steering wheel tighter, one hand coming to comb back his grown out hair out of his eyes, a small smile played in the corners of his scarred lips.

Soon he’ll be home - maybe the effects of drugs will wear off by that time and he’ll watch Y/n wake up slowly, those pretty doe eyes of hers gazing up at him drowsily. He will cook her dinner - all of her favourites - and maybe even spoon feed her, if she’ll allow it. Then he’ll bathe her and tuck her in her new bed, locking up the door for the night and watching her sleep through the cameras.

Everything was going as smoothly as ever. No one has accidentally seen him dragging unconscious Y/n out of her house and hauling her into the backseat of his car. No signs of struggle or fight were found - kitchen sink was still half-filled with soapy water and dirty dishes, clean ones drying off on the countertop, a knife with all the fingerprints being drowned among other dirty utensils. Y/n’s parents approved that everything was on its original place - as if the girl just disappeared, dissolved into thin air.

No one suspected a thing. And, of course, no one suspected a respectable city commissioner Lindner with years upon years of experience, a veteran with impeccable reputation, a person no one could speak badly of.

This was the beginning of your new life, life in which everything revolved around König, causing you to cling onto him as if he was some kind of goddess. Life in which you no longer belonged to yourself, but to your abductor. Life in which you finally understood that you don’t need anyone or anything else because you had König, understood that König was your life itself <3

Slasher! König Masterlist

A/n: I apologise for giving König a half assed name, but I thought it’d be really cool for the plot😌

Once again, feedback is highly appreciated! I’m making this a series so feel free to send in your suggestions for more slasher! König content<3

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey sex witch, you’ve talked a lot about porn addiction on here but I have some other questions if that’s ok.

I go to Christian highschool and we often have discussions about porn addiction.

my teacher says that most addicted people start consuming porn at around 9. And that even seeing one naked person or one porn or whatever on the internet can put you at higher risk of developing an addiction to porn.

does absolutely any of this have a base in science? Or is this all fear mongering and what not?

hi anon,

first of all, I just want to say that I think it rules that you're seeking information outside of what's being taught at your school. learning how to question what you're told and seek out answers from other sources is a really important skill that can be VERY hard to even begin if you aren't given the resources to easily go looking for information, and I think it's great that you're taking the initiative of seeking out other perspectives :)

now, let's break this down: the concept of "porn addiction" is one largely discredited by psychologists. while people can certainly develop maladaptive coping mechanisms around sexuality, porn, and/or masturbation, this isn't strictly the same as addiction, and several studies have found that the people who are most likely to identify themselves as porn addicts are people who harbor religious or cultural shame about sexuality and porn use, rather than people who use porn more than the average person. it is, largely, a matter of perception.

while access to smartphones means that many people first encounter pornography at a young age - the current average age is somewhere between 9 and 13, depending on the study - and that can be confusing to a child who isn't given the proper framework to understand what they're seeing, it's also not a new phenomenon. in my role as a sex educator I also get to talk with a lot of parents about their early sexual experiences, and many of them recall encountering printed pornography as children when they find it in gutters, the woods, the bedroom of parents or friends' parents, or even stowed in farm equipment. these adults tend to remember being intrigued and excited along with a little confused or alarmed by this first brush with sexuality, but crucially it did not define them as people. as evidence by the fact that they've grown up to send their children to queer-friendly, sex positive, nonjudgmental sex ed classes, early exposure to porn did not stop them from growing into curious, thoughtful, and supportive parents who want to encourage healthy attitudes toward sexuality for their children. porn alone does not have the power to determine the direction of someone's life.

just seeing a naked person or pornography on the internet also cannot immediately make you an "addict." as you've already guessed, this is what we call fear mongering, using information in a way that's exaggerated to make people nervous to even engage with a topic. fear mongering about sex is common among adults and education systems that don't want to young people to be curious about their bodies; another common one is "teaching" young people about sexually transmitted infections by only showing them pictures of untreated cases that have become drastic and painful while insisting that no STI can ever be treated, which is definitely not the case. but the facts don't matter; the priority is trying to make sure teenagers are too scared to have sex until they're adults and the school system is no longer responsible for them.

(and it doesn't even work; states with higher rates of abstinence only education are CONSISTENTLY among those with the highest rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections.)

when presented with absolutist statements like this, it's worth poking holes in the logic. for instance, if seeing any naked figure is bad, what about classical art? do nude marble statues put you at risk of being a porn addict? what about other artistic depictions of nudity? or anatomical illustrations? what about real people just changing clothes in a locker room, or young siblings bathing together? does it not count for people who are nearly or partially nude, like someone wearing a bathing suit or athletic clothes? people changing in a locker room together? what about young children being bathed together? and what about all of those depictions about Jesus on the cross wearing nothing but a loincloth? what's the line between "good" and "bad" nudity, and who's deciding where that line is? can such a line even really exist at all?

the truth is that people are undressed or partially undressed in all kinds of situations, and none of them are a corrosive influence on your brain. just looking at something is not enough to completely rewire your brain and permanently change your behavior. ultimately, you are responsible for your own actions.

I hope this has been a helpful answer, and that you stay curious about what you're being taught.

[elysiansparadise]

heyyy i love ur posts and i wanna ask what u think about 11h moon<3

btw i love the way u set up ur whole aesthetic and how u lay everything out on ur account its amazing and was sooo helpful when i was trying to learn the basics of astrology

Hello, thanks for loving my posts. I appreciate your comment, delighted to know that this helped you somehow. 😊

Moon in the 11th house

Altruistic, gentle and very empathetic with other people. People, even if they just meet them, tend to quickly feel confident with these natives, even going so far as to tell them private things shortly after meeting them. With this placement of the Moon, the native has the ability to be popular, to win the affection of people and to attract friends who give him unconditional support. Now that I mention the word friendship, these natives are great people to have by your side, because the loyalty, affection and reassurance they are able to give are unique. They are genuinely happy for the achievements and happiness of their friends and it is very important to them that they feel comfortable emotionally and to show themselves as they are. People with a sublime and understandable soul, who, regardless of the differences they may have with others, are attentive and kind. These natives may feel somewhat different from their family or people their age, it is possible that they deal with the feeling of not having fit in with a group at some point in their life, the sense of belonging is something very important for them, even if it is difficult for them to verbalize it. 

The Moon being in an air house, makes them very rational people as far as their emotions are concerned, but that does not mean they are insensitive, quite the opposite, by removing the idea that they have the absolute truth, they are able to understand the motives and people's emotional worlds, which gives them great emotional intelligence. In some cases they may deal with the idea of ​​wanting to take care of their friends or the group they feel they belong with out of an internal need to be cared for in the same way. They very much apply the idea of ​​being the support they felt they didn't have when they were younger. They do not tolerate injustice, and can feel a lot of emotional pain when faced with it, so they will always be willing to support the causes they consider. They are typical people who help strangers and give them an encouraging and genuine smile. They can easily improve people's moods and make them feel that everything will be better. It is very likely that they feel some distance from some members of their family, more than they would like, but throughout their lives they can make friends that feel like family.

As I mentioned before, popularity is something quite common with this placement, these people can be very appreciated and recognized especially on the internet, it is quite common to see celebrities with this placement. They have the desire to contribute something to society, whether it be changes, help, knowledge, etc. They may want to do something significant or big. In financial terms, they may have some ups and downs in their income, but they have the ability to handle it. They are likely to make money as teachers, chefs, content creators, entrepreneurs or psychologists. Even if they seem to be very people-oriented people, these natives need to feel autonomous and enjoy their time alone. In fact, it is likely that when faced with a difficult event, they prefer to isolate themselves to process everything at the beginning, since feeling their support back is something crucial for them. The relationship with the mother can be somewhat complex, and the native is likely to feel that they are very different in terms of ideals. In the best of cases, the native feels motivated by their mother to follow their dreams, in the most tense case there may be a lot of emotional distance with her.

-> Go back to the masterlist

[theregardedminecrafter]

It has been four days and Charlie Slimecicle:

-day 1 Easter

1. Thought his family and relationship was fixed

2. His daughter died

-Day 2

3. Found out his daughter died

4. Went on a grief stricken rampage

5. Destroyed his house

6. Alienated the others

7. Lost literally everything

8. The others gave him a second chance (The Trial)

Also sacrifice his bitch wife, which was very encouraged

9. Got really sad drunk

-Day 3

9. Five Lawyers

10. Trial

11. Prison and subsequent escape with His bitchwife(they reconciled)

12. Juanaflippa revived

13. Was revealed to have planted tnt under eggs, alienating himself from the rest of the server even more

14. Backflipo Family reunited once more

Coldplay Sounds

Paranoia, make sure JuanaFlippa is still safe

-Day 4

15. New start of the rest of their lives as a family

Brief moments of panic, where is his daughter?

16. Clean his daughter up

17. Hangout with Roier (the possible psychologist for court mandated relationship counseling)

18. Meet up with Juanaflippa’s best friend, Tilin (also apparently Bobby and Roier again)

“Tilin is dead” “What?” “It was a joke.”

19.Bobbyguards (Also Tilin chooses to stay with her best friend Juanaflippa and Uncle Slime)

20. “You are special, Tilin”

21. There have been new mobs, stronger mobs

22. Tilin doesn’t wear armor

23. Charlie jokes about not having a weapon to protect them, but look he found his sword

24. A sword’s sweeping edge always has a wider range then one would expect

25. There are a lot of mobs, including a skeleton

26. Tilin is bleeding. Tilin was slain by Slimecicle

Tilin was slain by Slimecicle

“Oh fuck. Oh shit.

Tilin!

Tilin!

Tilin. Tilin. Wha-

Wait. Wait. Tilin! Tilin…

Why can’t I rez?

Why can’t I rez?

Flippa, what happened?”

27. He didn’t mean to

28. Roier makes sure he know he will rot in jail. No one will take his case. Slime killed his Tilin

29. He gives everything he owns besides Flippa’s flower to his daughter, and entrusts her with Roier and Bobby

30. He leaves to find someone that can bring Tilin back

He has lost everything again, by his own hand

[margotbamborough]

I'm just jotting down a few themes I've noticed so far in the Running Grave!

Food/hunger/weight: while Robin's undergoing forced starvation in the cult (again, a common form of mind control used by cults) Strike is on a diet. A lot of references are made to characters being under- or overweight. For instance the detail that one of the ex-cult members developed a binge eating problem following her traumatic experience with the cult. Food (and Strike's and Robin's respective relationships to it) has been a pretty consistent motif that has popped up throughout the series so far and it's being made very explicit in TRG. There's definitely an idea of unhealthy relationships with food being explored. (Though also jkr just likes to write about food lol that's pretty clear in hp as well)

Disconnection from family: While Strike is actually connecting with his family more than we've seen before– forging a new bond with Lucy and her family, taking care of Ted, getting to know Prudence– the cult's MO (as is the case with most cults) is the opposite, to alienate victims from their families. We're getting to know several families who have been torn apart by UHC. The central family to the mystery is of course Mazu, Wace, and Daiyu. There's specifically a focus on mothers: there are several mothers or expecting mothers in the cult, Leda, Mazu, Ilsa (the book starts at her son's christening with her as a new mother). Even Bijou's apparent baby-trapping schemes fit into this theme, though I'm not sure how thats going to play out yet.

Mental illness/trauma: Prudence is a psychologist, and several of the cult victims either suffered from mental illness before being recruited or as a result of the trauma they experienced. Lucy discloses the fact that she's in therapy to Strike, a fact which surprises him, and encourages him to pursue therapy as well. Robin and Strike are both characters who have a great deal of unprocessed trauma, which they've slooowly been coming to grips with throughout the series, but I think so far this is the book where it's been most directly addressed. As of yet mostly in Strike's case, though given the nature of what's happening at in the cult I imagine I'm going to start seeing some of Robin's too.

Empathy/forgiveness: I'm not sure how to word this one but there's a feeling that Strike is becoming more open to understanding others and feeling more empathy towards them. He's a character who has previously been somewhat harsh and judgmental towards the people he deals with both in his personal life and his work– I'm not complaining, it's a good bit of characterisation. But after having criticised/scorned Lucy's lifestyle for the entire series so far, he's finally beginning to understand why she is the way she is and respect her. His realisation that she's actually incredibly brave was a HUGE moment. In general, Strike's inner monologue has been much less critical of the people he interviews than it typically is. The cult has a very black and white mentality, people are either good or evil, and I think this is something Strike has tended towards in the past- so TRG seems to be putting forward the notion that people deserve understanding and kindness. That nuance is important. A big issue when dealing with victims of cults is that many of them have been coerced into doing terrible unconscionable things that are difficult for the rest of us to understand, and many of them struggle with guilt, while outsiders struggle to forgive their actions. Steve Hassan explains this very well in his book (which is referenced in TRG and read by Strike)

I may expand on this!! These are just a few thoughts I've had so far

[narcpocalypse]

Speaking of that post I hope it's ok for me to send this ask in!

I have some OCs myself that also have NPD(+other PDs as well, like ASPD AND BPD for example) and I was wondering how to realistically portray NPD without unintentionally stigmatizing/demonizing it?

*also some are also POC as well and are my Elder Scrolls OCs also, if this helps.*

Feel free to delete this ask, if you don't feel like answering!

AGHHH MY FIRST ASK!!!!!!!!/pos

Fair warning, this is going to be a LONGGGG ass post and it will mention ableism towards NPDers. I want to make sure I cover as much as possible. If you have NPD and want to add anything, pls do so in a reblog or the comments! I am also super delirious so if what I say makes no sense I'm so sorry 😭

I think a full, completely in depth understanding is the key to not writing something stigmatizing/demonizing. It sounds obvious, but in the case of NPD, there's so much misinformation so I am hoping this post can guide you in the writing process. You never know what little thing can cause accidental mischaracterization.

This is a super important topic for me because honestly, I'm trying to figure out the same as someone with NPD myself, even with all the info available. I feel like there's so much grey area because so much is still unknown about the disorder (fuck the psych system/narc abuse believers). A lot of us have to go from our personal experiences and figure things out on our own, which brings me to my first topic:

Self Diagnosis And The Criteria!!!!!!!!

A LOT of us are self diagnosed, including myself. Whether you're officially diagnosed or not, most of us can agree the DSM5 is booty ass. I bring up self diagnosis specifically because due to the DSM5 being shitty, it's suuuper difficult to get diagnosed or even want a diagnosis. I personally don't want one.

If that's a theme you want to bring up in your work, I would definitely follow blogs here that break down the diagnostic criteria and re-define it in a realistic way. Having this is super important because the DSM5 is MADDD confusing even if it wasn't ableist.

Your characters might resonate with that confusion and even anger. Rage is such a prominent emotion with us narcissists, so its highly encouraged you tap into that. The stigma is so impactful to most of us and personally keeps me hidden.

If you went off the official criteria, you could innocently and accidentally write an ableist trope based off the DSM5. For example, the DSM5 has a very vague and "I do this just because I can blah blah blah and there's a name for it" narrative of narcissists. There's no nuance. They state accurate symptoms but don't accurately explain why we have them. Without context, it makes our intentions ultimately one size fits awful.

Here are some resources that have been super helpful to me!

Some extra specific things I keep in mind when writing my narcissistic characters:

-“Bad behavior” is such an important phrase to emphasize when writing narcissists negative symptoms and being mindful on how you approach the impact. Make sure that phrase is clear, even if they will not redeem themselves and are a piece of garbage. They did xyz because of bad behavior due to symptoms, they hurt john doe because of bad behavior due to symptoms. They make the conscious choice not to change their bad behavior because abc or they make the conscious choice to do better because blah blah blah.

-Depending on what communication style you want two or more characters to have, make sure the outcomes are accurate based off of symptoms. My examples don't explain narcissists as a whole, but they are based off of my symptoms:

Lack of Communication: Increase in superiority symptoms, increase in rage, increase in invalidation and inferiority feelings. Other parties, specifically egotypicals may have a misconception of the narcissist and believe their symptoms are how they really are and can't be redeemed due to stigma. In the situation involving a narcissist however, in my experience when this happens I'm always so confused. Nothing makes sense and nobody is explaining anything to me. I need outside perspective as to why my actions are wrong and lack of communication will sink me deeper into my delusions. Communication is so important coming from the outside perspective to snap me out of my spiral. Lack of communication on my end will cause me to bottle up my feelings, convinced I’m better alone. Not explaining my intentions (or lack there of, to be completely blunt and vulnerable.) to someone I hurt can cause them so much more pain too. I don't want to hurt anyone, and even if I don't FEEL sorry, I can acknowledge I don't want the people I care for to be hurt by my bad actions.

Proper Communication: Honestly in my case, usually the damage I caused isn’t forgiven however rebuilding that trust becomes so much easier accepting that and opening up to the person/people I hurt. The narcissist usually knows they can prevent xyz going forward, and the other party is prepared on how to handle the situation in case it happens again. In my experience, communication is super beneficial in terms of receiving supply too. ESPECIALLY when the other person involved is also a narcissist, they know that pain of not receiving praise/admiration and we can understand each other moving forward.

Other narcissists I encourage you give your experience w this too bc I have seen very diff ones!

-If you want to implement characters who are ableist towards the narcissist, some things I would do are:

Show the narcissists internal monologue after the trauma and put your main focus on their emotions, the ableist person’s actions second. The weight of their words will be shown more in the trauma response, less in the moment (although super important). Focus the context on the narc crash, anxiousness, surprise, grandiosity overcompensation, etc.

Have other characters defend the narcissist, preferably being other narcissists because we are the ones who understand each other the most and back each other up no matter what

Show the importance of proper education and lack of education

Ask yourself how this is relevant to the plot and your character/characters

-Ask yourself, why does/doesn't my character want to be redeemed? Is it a symptom or is it genuine? Do they want to do better but don't recognize it? Why don't they recognize it? What symptoms are holding them back from xyz (social connections, self care etc.).?

Examples of answers to these questions:

My character doesn't want to be redeemed because they are convinced they are justified in their actions. They genuinely believe they did the right thing and need time to get out of that mindset. What's stopping them from getting out of that mindset is the delusion they are stuck in. Working on their trauma triggers can help lessen the blow and onset of psychosis. If they recognize they are wrong, my character is the type of person to crash and have suicidal urges. There is a slow build up before the crash that spirals into madness. What may help is getting supply from their friends/partners reassuring them that recognizing their bad actions are a first step followed by praise for things outside of the situation to bring them back to a solid baseline or narc high.

My character has a hard time socializing because when having an episode of grandiosity, they feel like they are better than everyone and no one is at their level. In episodes of insecurity, they feel like they don't deserve friends because they feel worthless. This is followed by perfectionism and seeking unwanted friendships, only to self-destruct and hurt those around them. Their ego impacts everything they do.

-SHAMEEEE is one of the most important emotions (in my experience) to write about so pls make that an important part of how your character views themselves!

-I know I have been only focusing on negative aspects, but also do highlight the positive aspects. For me, NPD has motivated me to work on myself. It isn’t the healthiest way, but given my circumstance, it is the healthiest I can do right now. Even my most wild and delusional thoughts can lead to great opportunities for self improvement. Thinking I’ll become famous? Gave myself tools to work on my executive dysfunction and be consistent with a project I love. Narc highs are also absolutely incredible. Finding folks who understand me and receiving praise has kept me going. I genuinely feel listened to. Narcissists are some of the nicest people you will ever meet because they know what it feels like to hate themselves. No matter how little empathy some of us have, that doesn’t mean we can’t acknowledge one another (even if my symptoms make me feel so singular in my experiences/contradict the point of acknowledging others).

More info to represent different kinds of NPDers:

Some common comorbidities are:

Autism Spectrum

Bipolar Disorder

Schizophrenia Spectrum

DID/OSDD

All Cluster B Disorders

Eating Disorders and Addictions

So many of us are autistic. SO MANY. This small survey statistic doesn’t scratch the surface but it’s important to look at!

As an autistic person myself, I feel like a lot of the trauma I faced growing up highly contributed to the development of NPD. I was othered, shunned, invalidated and shamed for just existing. Still am. That made me overcompensate with erratic attempts to be wanted and loved and just acknowledged in any way possible. I want to be SEEN.

If anyone wants an in depth post sharing my experiences with bipolar disorder and NPD I will absolutely do so if asked too!

How NPD affects my gender itself, dysphoria and sexuality:

In my experience as a fat trans man, a lot of my dysphoria is rooted in narcissism, internalized fatphobia and internalized toxic masculinity. I want to be the ideal boyfriend that is praised for existing. My male privilege definitely contributes to that want and I can acknowledge and dislike that part of myself. I expect this certain level of respect for being a man without realizing it sometimes and make sure to hold myself accountable when doing so. My dysphoria makes me feel inferior to other men because I don't "pass" and I feel the need to compete against them. The insecurity is consuming me and I do my best to be aware if I cross any lines.

What I have noticed about gender and sexuality in NPDers is that a lot yall are aroace and nonbinary! Like based off of my survey alone and people I know!

I asked one of my mutuals if it wanted to share his experiences of being a POC with NPD and it agreed!! He wanted to stay anonymous (aka super duper awesomely cool and mysterious) so I’ll just be posting the ss of what he said!

I do not have much to say on the response from my mutual because I feel like what it said speaks for itself and because we've spoken in private about the topic already! If you want to write an Asian character with NPD, this is really useful information!!!! One day I will make a post elaborating on being a POC with NPD myself. But, for now, this will help you understand an experience from an Asian perspective.

I hope this post wasn't all over the place and makes sense, if you have any more questions please ask away!

[tobeabatman]

if you are in BED recovery and are making being fat a part of your identity then sorry you’re gonna fail unless you change your mindset. same as anorexics and bulimics making superskinny their personality. you are just enabling yourself and giving yourself an out for the failure you are setting yourself up for. fat activism will not care when you die like how proana doesnt care when anorexics die as long as they have ways to continue their selfdestructive behavior while others with the same issues cheer them on.

TW: Eating disorder talk. Mainly BED, but anorexia and bulimia as well.

You don’t know anything about binge eating disorder, bulimia, or being fat then.

With anorexia, disorted body image is literally a part of their diagnostic criteria. This is not the case with BED, aka binge eating disorder.

BED has no weight or appearance based diagnostic criteria. You can be at any weight and have BED. BED’s diagnostic criteria also doesn’t include anything stating that people with BED want to get very fat, like seriously…

BED is not a condition opposite of anorexia where we are obsessed with putting on weight. BED is the most common eating disorder (about 50% of all ED cases), so if that was true, we’d most likely have multiple fear-mongering documentaries and news stories made out of us already, and everyone would know about BED (at the moment they don’t).

The fact that you’re even seperating BED and bulimia as if our ED’s were absolutely different, is stupid. Both us people with BED and people with bulimia experience binging. The difference is that people with bulimia purge.

And the fact that people with BED don’t purge doesn’t mean that people with bulimia want to be super skinny and people with BED want to be super fat… Many people with bulimia are fat and many people with BED are skinny, news flash. Purging doesn’t automatically make you skinny, and neither does binging automatically make you fat. Someone’s BED can turn into bulimia and vice versa.

Now, I wanna clear up why fat activism is actually good for my BED:

People with BED often feel like they lack control. This is what commonly drives binging, according to many mental health professionals. We are out of control with our eating, and our bodies.

The feeling of lack of control is amplified in a fatphobic society. A lot of models actually get BED, not anorexia, because they feel out of control with their bodies (which leads to binging).

Telling myself that it’s okay if I get fatter when binging, actually helps me with my binging. I don’t feel as much shame afterwards (disgust, depression or guilt after binging is a diagnostic criteria for BED), when I feel like my body changing doesn’t matter.

This means that I’m less likely to experience binging as soon as I would otherwise, if I did feel more shame. (And this is actually how BED commonly works: shame triggers more binges. I doubt that you knew that).

And my binges getting further in between and my shame lessening, means that I have a better chance of recovery.

I mean, what do you think my dietitian and psychologist would encourage me to do? Feel deep shame with my body after binging, so that I would recover from a guilt-based eating disorder?

I would encourage fat activism to people with anorexia as well. It’s harder to hate your body for its size, when you realize all the lies there are surrounding fat bodies. And being angry at fatphobia helps with feeling out of control.

Although I understand that recovery and mindset change doesn’t happen overnight. I still have internalized fatphobia, and I’m still in BED recovery. I get it.

Anyway, I feel like this person watched a little bit too much of My 600lb Life, realized that those participants most likely had BED, and then went off to make this whole weird twisted story in their head about how BED works…

Watch my XL-sized body die tonight✌️ /s.

Tl;dr:

BED is not anorexia but opposite. Bulimia is pretty close to BED. Fat people with BED feel shame about their bodies, which triggers more binging. Fat activism helps me reduce feelings of shame and guilt, which helps me prevent more binging. Stuff like My 600-lb Life does not give its viewers an accurate representation of how BED works, because the show is not even focused on BED. It’s reality TV: the whole purpose is to show some people in absurd light so that you can feel better about yourself (whether those people are hoarders or very fat people, etc.).

There is no weight-based criteria for BED: people with BED can be skinny. A lot of models experience BED instead of anorexia, because a lack of control in their bodies can lead to binging (without purging). I’m not going to die from BED because I’m a fat activist: BED isn’t even as deadly as anorexia.

[diy-fire-water-pups]

Can yall send me encouragement. I recently relapsed in self in*ury and I’m struggling trying to stay clean again

Dude, why would someone do that?!? It makes no sense!!!

Some people feel bad to the point they think they deserve nothing but pain, or something like that... I read about it when I was studying possible cases I could maybe be called for as an EMT.

Still doesn't make any sense to me, that's so untrue!! Why would someone believe that?? I mean, not even bad people deserve anything like that. You shouldn't mistreat yourself like that, Anon!

I don't even know what to say. That caught me completely off guard. I'm not able to process this.

Well... What I can say for now is that it's not worth it. If you're already suffering due to something else, when you do that you just add even more to it, instead of making things better for yourself.

First of all, you need professional help in person, there's not much I could possibly do from over here and I'm just a first responder EMT, not an actual psychologist or psychiatrist. Second, a wrong move and you'll just create even more trouble for yourself and everyone else around you, especially the ones you care about and those who care about you, which is certainly not what you're looking for. Keep that in mind. If not for yourself, then don't do it for them.

Last, but not least, leave everything that can be harmful absolutely out of your reach. Make it all very hard to get, with as many obstacles as you can ever come up with, like it's the most cursed ancient artifact ever created, which no one should not even take a quick glance at. Just the huge trouble and long time spent to get to it should give enough time for your mind to distract with anything else and give up in the meantime. Work some laziness to your favor!

There are alternatives which won't get you in trouble and will keep you clean, if it comes down to it. Play with some ice cubes, or scribble angry or sad stuff down in a paper, then rip it and throw it away. Writing down all your thoughts and then getting rid of the paper with them is good too. It's all psychological play, and you can play this to your favor as well.

Always remember: Your body is yours, you own your thoughts, not the other way around! This is the only body you have, you can't move to a different one if it breaks down, so take good care of it!

Go for a walk around the block where you live. It doesn't need to be a fancy walk in a fancy place like in the movies, just around the block is already something! Sit under the sun for a while - don't forget a sunscreen! Feel the warmth of it. Stand in the rain for a couple minutes and then have a nice warm shower, wrap yourself in comfy blankets and go watch some cartoon that makes you happy. Forget complicated series or movies, go for the easy to understand stuff, preferably something you've already watched before, because as you already know how it ends, you won't work yourself into anxiety by wondering what's coming next. Your brain needs some down time too! Get yourself a tasty snack. Stop checking the news about the world for a while, most of them are currently tragic and you need some "you time", get it? Call a friend over to just spend time together, play a light game (avoid online games with toxic players), or go over to someone else's house. Changing the air you breathe and seeing different things is always good for getting those thoughts out of your mind too, as it'll get you distracted.

There are just lots of simple things you can do and enjoy, rather than wasting time with that. Sometimes even just sleeping through an entire day is a good start, just don't stay in bed forever, otherwise it might go up to a depressing level! Make good and necessary things easier for yourself, like leaving a water bottle somewhere next to your bed or desk, so you don't need to go all the way to the kitchen for some water. Gotta stay hydrated or your brain will start eating itself out!

Wait, that actually happens?

Sort of. The cells shrink when they're dehydrated and it causes damage to cognitive functions, memory loss, brain fog, stuff like that. You can't think clearly, nor make clear decisions at all. And no, Zuma, salt water doesn't count as keeping yourself hydrated, before you even ask. The salt absorbs the water in your body and the effects will be even worse if you don't get yourself some fresh water constantly.

No wonder Ryder always made me carry a big water bottle in my hovercraft. Anyway, I hope you'll feel better soon, Anon. I don't know if it's any help at all, but I like to remember that after every bad storm, there's always a rainbow to appreciate. And even when the storm takes a very long time to pass, you can remember that above it, there's no storm at all, it's all peace and quiet above the stormy clouds. It's like that one song... "Behind the clouds, the sun is shining! Believe me, even though you can't quite make it out! You may not see the silver lining, but there's a big blue sky waiting right behind the clouds!"

Wow, you got Zuma to sing just like that. Anyway, same here, I hope you'll get help and recover well. That's totally messed up... Please don't do that ever again, stop lying to yourself to such a point!

[sillyandquest]

I just realized something-

In the TMNT 2012 series, Kirby O'Neil is a psychologist so he could very well help the turtles with their trauma and maybe some other potential issues they never noticed.

I heard that Leo's visions of his deceased father are a potential symptom of schizophrenia. I personally don't think he has it, but I do like to think about it. Magic IS a canonical thing in the 2012 universe after all so maybe spirits do as well. Either way, the fact Leo is trying to speak to his father's spirit at all, even though he is no longer with them, is cause for concern. By that point the turtles had already met April's dad, so they could go to him for help if they got too overwhelmed.

I'm gonna add a cut off here so that you don't have to read about how this will effect that Mutant Mashup Au I've got with @possumsarenice if you don't want to.

Thanks for continuing to read!

Anyway, since canon Mr. O'Neil is a psychologist, in the Au he'd get along pretty well with Orange (Rise Mikey). He might think "Dr. Delicate Touch" comes off a little strong but thinks it's funny nonetheless. I kinda wonder their first meeting was Orange eagerly asking questions about Kirby's process and what it's like helping people through their issues. Kirby probably got a bit overwhelmed, but how could he resist this kid? (Rise Mikey in general just radiates "adopt me" vibes. Those puppy dog eyes let him get away with SO MUCH in this AU it's unreal.)

Kirby is a ball of nerves most of the time and over thinks a lot. Generally very stressed out, but he does love his daughter and only wants to see her happy. He'd definitely adopt the Hamato's, he knows they make May (2012 April) feel like she belongs so he doesn't mind them crashing at his apartment for movie nights or snacks or even if one of them needs advice.

Since I brought up Kirby it only feels appropriate to wonder about Carol O'Neil. In the Au, I imagine she's an accepting lady, if her daughter is anything to go by, and is generally very friendly. She'd also have that "calming vibe" and is very caring as long as you behave. She's a strong and encouraging mother that can and will mama bear April and her friends.

When it comes to both of them, Kirby and Carol are great friends. She and Kirby are probably those parent friends that meet up every once in a while to talk about whatever adventure their daughters went on. I don't really see them as a couple, just really good neighbors! Carol's calm nature helps keep Kirby from exploding with worry whenever May isn't home on time or something like that. I imagine both sets of O'Neil's live in the same apartment building, but are like a floor or two away from each other. May and April probably had several sleepovers as kids, so Kirby and Carol each have several blankets and pillows tucked away in case the girls ever need an emergency sleepover.

I think that both of them met the Hamato's at the same time, maybe during the Krang invasion. April and May were worried about their parents and quickly introduced them to the turtles before letting them know the situation. In this Au, the invasion lasts longer than canon, so Carol and Kirby bonded with Yoshi and Lou before Yoshi's death. Over time the two adopt the turtles one by one, Carol thinks they're sweet boi's while Kirby thinks they're kind hearted hooligans and always laughs at Blue's or Simoni's jokes.

[proceduralpassion]

More Than A Woman | Chapter 01

A/N: Chapter one, here we go! Lmk if you wanna be added to the taglist...

WC: 1.5K

“Hi, Mr. Reyes. We spoke on the phone.” Her statement came out more like a question because Desi wasn’t so sure he’d even remember. He sounded like a ghost when they’d first talked and even as he walked into her office, his mind seemed elsewhere. His handshake was robotic and his eyes were vacant.

They both sat down across from each other.

Desi looked at him for a moment, taking in the anguish and darkness that emanated from him. 

“So how’s this go?”, he gestured between himself and the school’s psychologist, “He ain’t in trouble, is he?”

Desi shook her head immediately, “Oh, no no. This is more so a check-in, if anything. I was alerted of recent circumstances, Santi’s mother passing away… That’s a tough thing for anyone to go through, much less a six year old.” 

To acknowledge her comment, he absentmindedly nodded his head. Tough thing to go through. That was the fucking understatement of the year, he thought to himself. A moment passed and Angel realized he should speak.

“Yeah, we split, but kinda got good with the co-parenting thing. He mostly lived with her, though. I’m sure it’s been a lot for him.”

And because he hasn’t really been the most observant father, Angel kept his mouth shut about whether he saw any signs to worry about when it came to his son. That was okay, though, because Desi Maduro, Ed.S. had been attentive enough for the both of them. She had already had several conversations with the young boy and found he was surprisingly talkative for a kid who mostly stuck to himself in the classroom and playground.

“Yeah, he mentioned he would spend his weekends with you,” Desi spoke with a comforting smile. She let a pause hit the air before continuing, “Mr. Reyes, you have a resilient, intelligent, and sweet young boy. And like I said, while I’m not necessarily worried for him, I’d really like to encourage you to engage yourself more with him. Maybe start an open dialogue at home, so that he feels comfortable whenever he wants to share something-”

“My son is fine,” he interrupted sharply. His face was a mix of confusion and defensiveness as he looked at her.

Not wanting this conversation derailed sideways, she immediately conceded, “Of course! I have no doubt. I just figured I could give you a few things to look out for in the case should they arise. Grief is not as linear as one might think it is, so even if Santi seems fine, we still want to keep a close eye on him-”

“Explain that.” He interrupted again. At the look of uncertainty on her face, he prompted, “What you said before, that shit about an open dialogue and shit.. What did you mean?”

His tone was less aggressive this time and he even seemed a bit embarrassed, shy. The outburst was probably a reactionary thing, more than likely something culminating from his own grief from losing his child’s mother. But now, he seemed actually intent on listening and comprehending the foreign concept.

Desi smiled again, hoping she conveyed softness and understanding. “This is a whirlwind of a time for a young child. Kids thrive on stability and structure. A big part of that is gone now that Stephanie is no longer here. Even though he may still be too young to grasp the concept of death, it can still be traumatizing for a child to have someone in their life for as long as they can remember and then one day that person is no longer there. And you’d be surprised at the way kids can act out, even at his age. Now, again, Santiago hasn’t gotten into any trouble or displayed any behavior of concern, but we want to be proactive. He needs people that he can express his emotions to. Emotions that can be super big for such a small body. Being that you’re now his primary caretaker, it makes sense that that person should be you. Along with making sure you’re establishing a routine for him, you should also talk with him, be affectionate with him… I know you’re probably dealing with this loss yourself. It’s okay for him to know that you’re sad, too.”

Angel scoffed to himself. He focused hard to take in every word that she said and he couldn’t help but get more and more overwhelmed as she continued to go on. He didn’t know anything about putting together a daily routine; school was Santi’s fill of that while everyday at home could be unpredictable based on what the MC demanded of Angel at the moment. And affectionate? He shook his head to himself knowing he hadn’t been much of that lately. Disappointment filled his veins. If anything, Santi needed more affection now than ever, but Angel hadn’t been paying close enough attention to that. 

Desi watched the various emotions flash over his face and felt for him. He didn’t seem to be the kind who purposefully distanced himself from his son. He’d probably been wrapped up in his own grief while also carrying on with life. Of course, his child should come first, but she could see the remorse on his face as he came to some realizations.

After a moment, she allayed, “You don’t have to have all the answers. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is just listen.”

Angel nodded again, this time trying to put forth more effort into actually listening.

“What does he say? You’ve talked to him, right? So, what does he say? What does he talk about?” Angel inquired curiously. He winced as he prepared to hear her reply, not ready to know of some of the pain his son’s been feeling. 

“Well, it was obviously a very shocking thing to him, at first. He talked about how scary the funeral was,” Angel shook his head in suffering, knowing that he hadn’t even picked up on Santi’s fear. He wouldn’t have ever forced him to go if he knew the whole thing scared him. He harshly cursed himself, knowing that he potentially traumatized his son even further. Desi continued, politely ignoring his agony, “I think he’s only just now coming to terms that his mom is gone for good. Of course, I can see he still has moments where a particular emotion may spring up, but he’s not more or less withdrawn in class according to his teacher.” 

Again, Angel took the time to try and absorb the counselor’s words and what this all meant. He was, for sure, out of his depth and didn’t know where to start in attempting to be a more active parent. 

“I know that this is hard for both of you, but I think that establishing a routine and adding some structure to Santi’s will be beneficial for the both of you. Soon enough, you’re gonna have to learn how to help Santi have a life without his mother. Not so that he forgets her, but so that he knows how to move on and keep the memory of his mom alive.” 

But how? Angel thought to himself. 

And then he vocalized it.

“How do I do that?”

“Try. Obviously, it’s more to it than that, but don’t stop making an effort no matter how hard it is. Santi might not feel 100% comfortable sharing his feelings with you all the time, but the best thing you can do is to never stop trying. Mr. Reyes, this isn’t going to be a cake walk. But he’s young and I see a loving father sitting in front of me. That’s the most important thing.”

Angel smiled a little at that.

“And you’re sure he’s doing fine considering?”

“Yes. There may be little outbursts or behavioral changes as time passes, but there’s nothing that’s cause for concern right now,” she comforted. And then she added, “Try to put together a daily schedule for him to follow. Something fun to do when he gets home. And then homework time. Dinner and a bath. Simple things just to give him a little more normalcy.”

“Thank you,” He stood from his seat and nodded appreciatively at her. Turning towards the door, he adjusted his kutte and stretched out his long legs. Before he turned completely away, she handed him a post-it with her contact information on it and gestured to walk him out the door.

“You’re welcome. I really appreciate you taking the time to talk with me, Mr. Reyes. Please, I’d really love for us to keep in contact so we can manage Santi’s progress together.”

Angel nodded again, completely serious about trying to maintain contact with her. 

He wouldn’t keep this up anymore, it was time for him to step up and be the parent that Santi needed.

“It was nice to meet you, Mr. Reyes. Have a good day!”

Angel took a final glance back at her as he walked out the school’s main exit. Her braids were wrapped up into a messy bun and a few of them fell around the frame of her face. She bid him off with a final, friendly smile and turned back towards her office. 

Tagging: @drabbles-mc @mijagif

[sttoru]

to the 😶 anon i just wanted to say that you are so so strong for everything that you're going through and don't listen to the speech therapist !! ik they're technically qualified but a good therapist (speech or not) would never give up on their client or at the very least refer them to someone more qualified and trained.

i'm absolutely appalled and disgusted by their unprofessional behaviour, and please don't let them make you feel disheartened or like you'll never be able to speak again. i really and truly believe you can and you will no matter what, no one is beyond helping and that's the first thing we learn as psychologists/therapists.

trauma responses are incredibly tricky, especially ones like selective mutism. but if you haven't already i'd recommend seeing a psychotherapist alongside a new and better speech therapist. i'm not exactly sure how speech therapy works where you're based, but from what i know they're not specialised in dealing with the more psychological aspects of it, like with it being a result of trauma.

if you work to unpack the underlying cause of it first it could prove to be a lot more useful than just speech therapy alone. honestly from experience cbt does wonders and i'd highly recommend finding a good and qualified psychotherapist that specialises in ptsd/trauma responses. maybe put the speech therapy on pause for now and recuperate and when you're ready and comfortable look for a psychotherapist.

working at your own pace is so incredibly important and know that it doesn't matter how long you take, the road to recovery is a process that can't be rushed and a small improvement is still improvement!! even going back a couple steps is essential to progress and healing so please don't feel like it's not possible. it absolutely is and it's well within your reach.

i know i'm just a stranger on the internet but i really and truly believe you can do this and you've got this. i am so so proud of you for everything you've endured and i really hope that you report that speech therapist to their board or something. genuinely disgusting behaviour tbh i cannot believe it.

anyways i hope you feel better really soon and don't lose hope !! wishing you all the best forever and always <33

(also wishing you the best my lovely and i hope you're doing well too !! i hope you don't mind me sending such a long ask but as someone who's training to be a clinical psychologist (hopefully god willing) it genuinely fills me with such rage when i see rude therapists. you studied for so long and chose that occupation yourself how dare you treat clients/patients that way smh. anyways sending you all my love <33)

awwwww, its rlly nice of u to send such an encouraging message to the anon <3 you have a heart of gold 😽

i hope they read this and understand that what their previous therapist has said, was bullshit. finding a good therapist or psychologist, who’s certified to treat such cases, is so important and i hope they find that person. everyone deserves a chance for proper treatment !

thank you for speaking up and i bet its 100% appreciated ^_^ inshallah you’ll become the clinical psychologist you desire to be x and i’m sure you will bcs u r a sweetheart mwah

[lunarsilver]

Some messages for you. PAC Reading

It was supposed to be called "Short messages for you" but it came out longer than I intended to lol. You know, sometimes I have this urge to use a few things in my divination and this was the case. As always, pick the one you feel most drawn to!

REMEMBER

I’m not a doctor, a psychiatrist, a therapist nor a psychologist. Tarot readings will never replace meetings with them.

It’s a general reading, so not everything will resonate.

If you can’t choose between two piles, probably both of them have some messages for you. You can also not identify with any of them and that’s okay too.

Readings can help you make a decision, but they shouldn’t be the main reason of making it.

1 ~ 2 ~ 3

PILE 1

Charms: let’s go!, it was a good evening, we have nothing to lose, cheers!

Quotes:

I used to think that I was bold

I used to think love was for fun

Now all my stories have been told

Except for one

- You will be okay Sam Haft

Let’s drive around town in my Cadillac

Girls int the front, boys in the back

Loosey as a goosey and we’re looking for some fun

- Woman Kesha

Shufflemancy: Shatter me Lindsey Stirling

Tarot: Ten of Cups (R) – Knave of Pentacles – Knight of Wands (R) – Back of the Deck: Five of Pentacles

Interpretation: Okay, both charms and the second quote talk about having fun, going to parties – try it if you hesitate to do so, and it looks like it works out for you if you already do it! A lot of fun and meeting new people is clear here, and even Knave of Pentacles looks like someone dancing.

On the other hand, the first quote and the tarot, talk about what you need to work on. Are there some conflicts in your relationships? Try to find the common ground, think about what a perfect relationship looks like for you – nothing perfect exists, of course, but it’s something we can strive for. Some of you may isolate themselves. There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely, and if the second case is yours, it’s always worth trying. I decided to do shufflemancy now, kinda as an afterthought, and yup, looks like most people who chose this pile want to make some change in their life but are scared to do it. Again – go to this party or this club and see what will happen, just stay safe. The first step is the hardest one. For some of you, I think the first quote speaks about some romantic interest/someone being into you.

PILE 2

Charms: but what if?, lets go!, success!, what do you wish for? you know what’s good, give something from you

Quotes:

Other dancers may be on the floor

Dear, but my eyes will see only you

Only you have that magic technique

When we sway I go weak

- Sway Michael Buble

This room is so suffocating

Walking on ice, but nobody breaks it

Stuck in this one-way conversation

Guess I’ll be here for awhile

- People I Don’t Like UPSAHL

Shufflemancy: Crazy Daniela Andrade

Tarot: The High Priestess – The Magician (R) – Knight of Cups – Back of the Deck: Five of Pentacles

Interpretation: I feel like this pile is about romantic stuff, 3 cards from four are all in pink, red and white, and two have red roses on it, Knight of Cups, the quotes... There was this song playing in another room while I was doing this reading, and words “Nothing compares to you” caught my attention. Kinda looks like a situationship. The quotes suggest there is a person that is infatuated with the second one, that seems to be less interested (“stuck in this one-way conversation”) – or maybe someone talks much more than the second one, OR you both are “walking on ice, but nobody breaks it” even though it’s about time to do it. The High Priestess tells you to listen to your intuition, there are some tricks at hand, some uncertainity and problems with communication. After winning with it, there will be better time, probably romance, you will give or receive a love offer. The charms are pretty optimistic and encourage you to do something you think about. If the third pile also caught your attention, there may be some messages for you.

PILE 3

Charms: give something from you (it fell out while I was mixing the charms in the basket, so treat it as the most important one), everything is possible, now you can go crazy, this is the moment, you interest me, shall we dance?

Quotes:

In youth, you lay awake at night and scheme

Of all the things that you would change

But it was just a dream

- Warriors Imagine Dragons

I’ll make my own future

I won’t leave it to fate

- My name is… Once Monsters

Shufflemacy: Wszystko czego dziś chcę Brodka, A_Gim (okay, this was the first time a non-English song came up during my reading, basically there are two people that barely know each other – one of them imagines already a whole future with the second person while she only wants to go to bed with him)

Tarot: Four of Pentacles (R) – Knave of Swords (R) – The Death (R) – Five of Cups

Interpretation: While I was shuffling the cards with quotes, a thought “get this shit done” came to my mind lol. What you need to do but still didn’t? Both charms and quotes encourage you clearly to do this thing you think about, to seize the day. Just like in the first pile, there is this saying “go, do it finally, have fun”. The last two charms probably talk about some flirt, but the song suggests you and this person will be on different pages. Alternatively, it talks about two different persons. If you feel like the love part is important and you felt drawn to the second reading as well, there can be some messages for you.

The cards show you should stop and rethink some things. What do you want? How to go there? What is your relationship with money? Some change is around the corner but you’re resisting it.

[lsdchannel]

"Welcome to our live and undead, as well as non-binary viewers. We'd like to introduce Lüdvércet, our recently imported house ghost from America, whom we rescued from the lowest shelf of a discount store. In California, they just announced the storm of the century, which locals interpreted as an apocalypse and began looting stores. We decided to spend our last day devoted to each other, with a romantic and expensive joint shopping spree. That's when we came across our lonely, dust-covered, ridiculously discounted ghost, whose desperate puppy eyes touched our hearts. We thought that in case of an apocalypse, it doesn't hurt to do a good deed because you never know. So, we put the ghost in the shopping cart, on top of twelve six-packs of beer, 2 Johnny Walkers, and 25 women's dresses. From that moment on, we became inseparable friends, a sort of ménage à trois, because while we were busy in bed, our ghost flew above, shouting encouraging words and technical instructions, taking part in our family life. We even went to therapy together, although as a creature who dislikes sunlight, our ghost hid in a bag during the day and only ventured out in the evening, eliciting laughter and cheerful screams from people.

So, we happily lived in America, but the time for the journey home finally came, and we packed our ghost at the bottom of a suitcase, covered with lots of used underwear to deter airport inspectors from rummaging through it.

Our ghost is currently getting to know the customs of Eastern Europe, such as alcoholism. Due to jet lag, it has adjustment problems, being active during the day and sleeping at night. However, with joint efforts, a lot of empathy, and professional help, we hope to overcome this. There are promising signs, such as making friends with the inhabitants of our aquarium and Semmirekelő Tróger, the tomcat. Our ghost diligently cultivates a new hobby, namely bicycle assembly, following the advice of its psychologist. However, it excels in disassembling, and it doesn't particularly care about reassembling, as it lacks the legs to pedal the bicycle."

[1o1percentmilk]

hi! regarding your social queues post

i feel like i'm experiencing a thing that's a bit similar to what you are dealing with down to the "I'm not autistic but this shit isn't neurotypical" thoughts (and if not, I'm really sorry for an impromptu vent just ignore all of this please and have a kitty ฅ/⁠ᐠ•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠ᐟ⁠\ฅ)

several of my prev psychologists link it to general anxiety and social awkwardness and yeah, that sounds reasonable, but what bothers me is that idk how to improve

i tend to overthink everything I say to the point where, even though I know what a normal response should look like I can't convince myself that what I said/wrote is articulated in a way that doesn't sound dumb/conveys literally the opposite of what I'm trying to deliver. answering a message after days of silence, which actively worsens my relationships, while I fear that answering with a 'stupid' message would be even worse or agonising over a comment I'm trying to leave on someone's work because, well, I think it's neat and cool and I want the artist/author to know it, but when I start typing my words look wrong and not genuine is a constant thing and I'm tired

and yeah, the worst is comforting people. my friend feels terrible, I can clearly see that and my heart is breaking for them, but I can never find a good thing th say. irl you at least can physically be there((maybe)) but online it's a nightmare

I was always told that words should come from the heart and I never got a feeling that was the case for me which just. i dunno what to do with this

hi hello! no, you're good, I have my ask box open for a reason and that includes venting n stuff like that, i don't mind at all!

yeah this is exactly what i'm talking about... like i have no problem picking up on things between the lines... but i always take too long to respond and by the time i think of something i am either too nervous or the window has passed. in my case, I know its because i have a "slower processing speed" than other people, which i've had since I was little, it's easier to think when i can type on a screen and be able to check if im making sense, but i don't do verbal stuff very well.

i've been in therapy as well, a long time ago, and i've been told i might be on the autism spectrum, and/or have add, but i'm pretty resistant to getting a formal diagnosis or even self diagnosing for some reason.

i think for me, and i don't know if this will help for you, i want to 1) get rid of the... mental block? filter? that my thoughts have to get through before I say something... because sometimes i come up with the thought, but don't say anything due to nerves. that'll help me get more thoughts out there and 2) get more practice with people... which is hard! i tried out both improv and drama club in high school because this is an issue i've been working on for a long time... it didn't really work, but i've learned that there are a lot of... scripts! that i can just use in a pinch. even if its just like, small talk and stuff, or if i don't have anything, i just turn the question on the other person and just listen!

i've been trying to make peace with the fact that i will probably never be as good of a talker as other people, but you and me brother we are probably just meant to be listeners... and nothing wrong with that... there IS stuff we can do to get better at talking, which i encourage. but don't get down out of reason for being quiet.

SORRY that got really long despite me not having alot of good advice but im struggling with it with you, good luck with finding something that works.. if u want to talk u are always welcome here, i enjoyed reading your ask!

[bpdstevenuniverse]

// TRIGGER WARNINGS - hospitalization, ableism, NPD stigma, suicidal thoughts

So... I haven't really posted about this before, but I've started partial hospitalization two weeks ago, and... yeah. I am not enjoying it.

I know it's early for me to say this, but there are many things I am just not getting used to. For one, it's my first experience in therapy groups - because all activities are done in groups. And like, okay. I WANTED to try it out because I WANT to improve my social skills, and I don't want to be trapped in a psych ward 24/7 again.

But personally, the things that bother me the most:

There are WAY too many patients for such a small mental health clinic, so the therapy groups and the overall activities can be too loud and overwhelming. At least I'm a very sensitive person when it comes to loud noises and too many people at once, so it's far from encouraging to me to be in such an environment. I don't mind short groups, though, they're usually easier to manage and I can also get to know people better... but yeah, that's not the case most of the time now.

Since this mental health clinic is private (financially speaking), then unfortunately both patients and the mental health professionals have some very... ignorant points of view. I'm not saying this because I'm a complainer or anything; It's like I'm listening to my conservative relatives saying shit at the dinner table (well, most of the patients are a lot older than me). Additionally, the amount of times I've had to listen to people demonize NPD... I always have to hold myself back from wanting to yell at them. Like, it's so HYPOCRITICAL. We're supposed to be in a place where you don't need to fear being judged, and yet everyone judges narcissists. I'm aware that personality disorders in general are still not well researched without being demonized, but come on. None of the psychiatrists and psychologists really try to clarify that NPD is also stigmatized and people who have it aren't evil.

I honestly don't like a lot of the advice they give - again, both patients and the professionals. They insist on doing the "two sides" argument on every single situation, when it really doesn't apply to all of them. They especially hammer on the "you have to respect everyone's opinions" and I'm like, yeah, okay. But then you have the people I mentioned above, and I just think to myself, "I'm obviously not going to fight anyone, but I sure as hell don't respect the fucking racists and ableists in this place lol."

I fucking hate the fact that they don't provide me individual support when I'm having a bad day. I have very strong suicidal ideation, despite me never acting on it, and in these past weeks there were many moments I just needed to vent to someone. I didn't feel safe opening up at home, and my therapist and my psychiatrist were unavailable the whole time, and I didn't feel comfortable saying sharing such heavy emotions in the groups. So, I tried to talk to someone in private, and... it just didn't help me. One, they told me to WAIT a long fucking time to talk to someone - once they told me to do that TWO DAYS LATER. Two, in the meantime they just told me to share my feelings in the groups even though I said I couldn't, or to distract myself with fucking crosswords or coloring pictures, like that fucking helps me. Or, they send me to the nursery but I just... sit there doing nothing. My psychiatrist didn't prescribe me any medication for this kind of situation, but I don't want pills, I just want someone to TALK.

Maybe this is just my impression and it doesn't apply just to the partial hospitalization, but I hate that just because I don't act on my suicidal thoughts, they don't think they really have to do anything. Again, when I have these thoughts, I feel extremely overwhelmed. I feel so anguished and in pain that it's too much to bear. I'm really sick of passive suicidal ideation never being taken seriously. It's basically the story of my life: people just take me seriously when I do something really bad. When I ask for help BEFORE it gets bad, they don't give a fucking shit about it.

Anyway, the point is: the partial hospitalization reminds me a lot of how the psych ward failed me. Too many patients, too much judgment in a "judgment-free" space, and some really terrible advice and neglect of more reserved patients like me.

I really hope this isn't just me though, because I certainly don't want to sound like a jerk for being so unsatisfied with this treatment. If this works or has worked for you, that's great! I don't want to discourage anyone here, despite my saltiness.